Andrew Schulz defends China's lockdown as a "war on COVID," dismissing child separation reports as propaganda and joking about robot dogs and cat-filled bags. The hosts debate streamer Speed's bans for racial slurs, Elon Musk's Twitter board seat refusal, and self-driving car limitations. They analyze Will Smith's relationship with Jada Pinkett Smith, speculate on his future partners like Beyoncé, and critique Cristiano Ronaldo for smashing a fan's phone. Finally, they discuss a Bucks player intentionally fouling out to trigger a $306,000 bonus, highlighting absurdities in modern sports contracts. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Shanghai Lockdown Chaos00:14:57
Anger, frustration, outrage.
Mass lockdown in Shanghai.
Separate children with test possible from their parents.
Millions of people are also down to their last rations of food.
Well, if you think Wuhan 2020 was bad, welcome to Shanghai.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Mark, cut that off.
Cut that Western media propaganda bullshit off, okay?
This is embarrassing.
Look, I actually just got back from Shanghai and they told me I could return to America as long as I tell the truth.
My name is Andrew Schultz, and I love the Chinese lockdown.
All right, let's clear up some misconceptions.
Are children being separated from their COVID-positive parents?
Absolutely not.
The only way China takes kids away from their parents is with a vacuum.
Also, what type of country separates their children from their parents?
That's disgusting.
The media is saying China used their military to force citizens into isolation.
Bullshit!
The Chinese government would never do that unless you're Muslim.
Oh, and you know what?
I misspoke.
Unless you need to learn how to be more patriotic at one of their totally awesome patriotism camps.
Now, what about this video of people screaming from their balconies?
Hey, racists, that's not screaming.
That's singing, okay?
They're not very good at it.
In the entire history of China, they've had like two hits.
William Hong drooling on American Idol and I've been working on the railroad.
And this video of a drone flying overhead telling people to control your soul's desire for freedom.
Guys, this wasn't even in China.
This was at Will and Jada's house and the empty fridge on the balcony pick.
Pure propaganda.
First of all, every college student in America has a fridge that looks just like that.
No?
You don't believe me?
Let's go to our expert geopolitical analyst, Sagar Anjetty.
He's going to confirm everything that I'm saying.
Schultz, what the fuck are you talking about?
The situation in China is terrible.
People are literally...
Cut that off.
Mark, cut that off.
Guys, sorry about the technical difficulties.
We'll get back to Sager in a second.
But look, there are reports of robot dogs telling people to stay in their homes.
And mainstream media bros all say the same thing.
They started out as real dogs, but then the people ate them.
That's racism.
Okay?
It's also inaccurate.
Now, I will admit that there is a horrifying video of bags filled with live cats.
And I've heard all the jokes, guys.
Oh, this is the first time anyone wrapped up a pussy to stop the spread of a virus.
Childish.
I'll have you know, just like those cats, China will land on its feet.
Yes, a cat has nine lives, but China has got over a billion, and they're willing to lose every single one of them if it prevents even one more COVID death.
Yeah, okay.
It felt good to get that off my chest and clear up, you know, some of this dangerous misinformation that's been out there in the world, guys.
So you just got back from Shanghai?
Yeah, yeah, I was in Shanghai for a little bit.
It was beautiful.
It was awesome.
And the community and am I the only one that seems like this is this is weird?
This is what are you talking about?
Maybe you, I don't know, you've been compromised or something.
Are you okay, dog?
Like, I'm your best friend.
I want you to tell me.
I feel great.
I'm here with you guys, and I'm just making sure that we right the wrongs of Western civilization.
So why are you wearing a prison outfit?
Why would you assume this is a prison?
That's the problem with the lack of cultural exchange.
This is just a really cool state-sponsored like home attire.
It's leisure wear.
It's quarantine chic.
This is what everybody wears.
And the government doesn't have you under their thumb or anything like that.
They're not like making you say that.
Why would you think that's a good thing?
Well, there was a sniper.
There was like a red dot on your face.
Yeah, that's why I was doing that to make Akash comfy.
Some of us have an appreciation for our friends and family and their cultures.
And I was hoping that you guys would understand, you know, the Chinese Communist Party's culture by shedding some light on the truth that's out there.
You don't seem like yourself right now.
Why do you say that?
You just seem like somebody's telling you what to say.
Guys, guys, guys, I speak for myself.
Surely in the past, you've always stood against tyranny and authoritarian governments and with the people that are being oppressed.
Yeah.
And right now you're doing the exact same thing.
Right now you're kind of weird.
You don't think that the government's oppressed a little bit with all this propaganda?
Imagine what they do.
They're working hard every single day to save all these lives.
And then all it is is people in the West making jokes.
That's a good point.
No one ever thinks about the dictators.
Yeah, the dictators.
It's hard for them.
It's hard to be a tyrant.
It's hard to be a dictator.
And it's hard to put 26 million people inside their homes for their own safety.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Can we stop down for just a second?
We're stopping down.
Okay.
We'll stop recording if we need.
Hey, hey, just for the sake.
Just for the sake of having a good conversation for the podcast.
Well, edit this out.
Let's have a real conversation.
So what do you really think is happening?
Guys, it's really fucked up over there.
It's really fucked up.
The government's doing some crazy shit.
Dude, it wasn't even cats in those bags.
Who was it?
It was actually Uyghurs.
Wow.
They thought that Americans would be more sympathetic to their plight if they dress up as animals.
They're furries?
As furries.
I didn't know they were furry.
They're actually furries.
They are furries.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's kind of working a little bit.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
I mean, white people in America care way more about animals than human lives.
Than anything in the whole world.
That's the thing they care the most about.
And it's just like, they wouldn't let me come back unless I said this.
So, bro, how's your asshole?
Did they cover test you?
Are you all right, bro?
No, it was crazy.
And they didn't even use the swabs, dude.
They were going straight fingers, man.
Oh, shit.
Wow.
It was unbelievable.
Wow.
They tested your prostate for some COVID.
Yeah, they really did.
And I was like, you thought you had a Chinese finger trapped.
Why don't you give me a COVID test and I'm going to teach you all about that?
Yeah, I was snatched up.
Yeah.
Hey, look, man, I'm glad you're safe.
Oh, fuck.
We got you back.
We got you.
You're safe.
Okay, did we get the sniper out of you?
Yeah, the sniper is.
We'll never put this out in danger.
You're not going to happen.
Okay.
All right.
Well, is there anything you guys want to know or would like to share about what's happening right now?
Yeah, these drones are sending some pretty fucking crazy messages.
Yeah.
Your soul doesn't want freedom.
That seems fucking crazy.
Now, is that actually true, though?
Because I don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese or whatever the language was.
I don't know if, how do we know that that's actually what the thing's saying?
That was verified to me by someone who also doesn't speak Mandarin in French.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I haven't asked a single Asian person about this.
I just want to let you know.
Can I be honest with you?
I feel like somebody on Twitter would speak Mandarin and be like, yo, this is bullshit.
That's not what they're saying.
And I didn't see that in the first comments.
Yeah.
So I feel like it's true.
You know what I mean?
That's a good point.
Twitter would have fact-checked it.
Bro.
But what if we got one of those drones for like Puerto Rican neighborhoods?
And like after 11 o'clock, it's like, please, you know, try to resist your soul's desire to play music.
Like, I don't care, bro.
Puerto Ricans will hijack that shit.
Yeah, hijacked.
He's going to play the boombox out there.
He's going to play reguator in my fucking apartment.
God damn it.
I'll be lit right there, bro.
She's souping up like a Honda.
She's got Puerto Rican flags hanging down.
How is this drone lowered?
Like, how is that even possible?
Like, it flies.
You're going to see it at the parade next year.
It's fucking flying through.
It is kind of crazy, though, what's been happening out there.
Yeah, it's nuts.
And so I was talking to Sager, and he was saying a couple interesting things.
And so he goes, he goes, the vaccine that they have is apparently 50% effective.
I think Bloomberg put it called the Sinovac or something like that.
And a lot of the old people there, they're like the least vaccinated old population, right?
So like South America is more vaccinated old, but you're like, did he say why that was?
Because they bought their own propaganda.
The old people said there's not going to have one person who has COVID.
So what's the point of the vaccine?
Right, but can't they just force their population to get vaccinated?
They can 100%.
But if there's nobody with COVID, you don't need to get it.
If their real policy, they believe this, remember, this policy happened with the first wave, Delta.
Omicron came, it's way more contagious.
Yeah, like a thousand times more contagious.
So, and again, I'll say what you want about the vaccine, but like in terms of old people, it is going to keep old people alive.
There's no doubt.
And especially when Omicron came out and it was so easy to pass.
So that's what they're dealing with right now.
They're just dealing with a super easy to pass on version of it.
And Sagar had a funny point.
He goes, The one upside is gas is like 30 cents cheaper.
I go, What are you talking about?
They're the biggest importer in the world.
They're not driving.
There's 26 million people just sitting in their apartments.
So we're looking at the pump.
It's down in the fours again.
We're like, okay.
That's solid.
That's a fair trade.
Hey, that's a fair trade.
That's the Chinese government oppressing their people.
I ain't got nothing to do with us.
Yeah.
I mean, that's fine.
Keep your people locked up.
I think the war in Russia is over then.
But it is kind of wild, right?
Like, yeah.
And like the dog thing is crazy.
So, yeah, explain the dog thing, though, because there's a little more to this.
Well, I only understood it is like they're sending this thing out.
It also has the microphone taped on its back, which seems like super on the shit.
Oh, I thought you were talking about taking the pets.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So basically, like, there's all these videos swirling around.
Like, we won't put them here just because they're kind of graphic, but like basically like COVID-positive people get their dogs taken from them and killed.
Yeah.
Is what like the news, like Western media is saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And basically because they're putting them in a quarantine for two weeks or however long it is.
So the dog's going to die anyway.
So they just take care of it for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think that's what the cats in the bags were: is also cats can transmit COVID, apparently.
So like anything that can transmit it.
Motherfuckers would.
Yeah.
Dog would never do that shit.
Dog would die of COVID before he gives this thing.
This is how the black plague started.
They tried to kill all the cats because they thought the cats were spreading.
That's got to be the black plague, Mark.
Why can't it be the bubonic plague?
Why you got to racialize it?
Fine.
The plague.
Okay.
Yeah, the plague.
The plague.
The one plague.
I mean, all plagues matter.
Okay.
That's why I just not use any colored plague.
Okay.
But no, like the uh but they did the wrong thing by killing the cats.
Exactly.
The cats killed the rats.
Uh-huh.
Exactly.
Wait, wait, wait.
Why are they doing it again?
The cats aren't going to kill.
Oh, there's a plague.
You don't kill cats.
That's just like rule number one of plagues.
Yeah, but the rats aren't spreading it.
This is what we think.
Yeah.
Oh, you same mistake twice.
History never repeats itself.
You're calling them rats.
Yeah, dude.
That was a little bit.
That's that.
That was a little far, dude.
Yeah, that was.
I mean, I was imprisoned by the Chinese government, and even I wouldn't call them rats, dude.
I mean, it depends the year.
You know, there's certain years where maybe it's okay.
People born in that year, myself included.
I believe it was 83, the year of the rat.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, really?
I think we should look it up.
Okay, I'll check it out.
Al, you guessed that?
He confirmed it, and both of you guys just voted on it.
100%.
Oh, dude, you're the rat.
You're the pig.
Boar.
84, you're the rat.
Let me check.
84 is the year of the rat.
That explains my teeth, though.
You're the rat.
Really, it all adds up.
It makes sense.
But anytime there's a policy that's like sloganized, like war on blank, it just means people are getting fucked over.
Ooh, breaks that down.
That's a great point.
Like war on COVID.
Like, if it's an war on like an abstract, war on terror, war on crime, like war on drugs.
War justifies whatever action is necessary.
But it's like an abstract thing.
It's like, what does that even mean?
War on COVID.
That basically just means war on people that happen to have COVID that are asymptomatic and live in their apartments.
Is that what they're calling it a war on COVID?
That's like basically the right thing.
Essentially, I don't know if they've sloganized it that way, but that's the vibe, I guess.
Yeah, it's giving war on drugs, where it's like, all right.
It's giving war on drugs.
It's serving war on drugs.
That's a good time, dude.
That is funny.
Like, once they establish, once they throw war into the conversation, it justifies anything after that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm sorry.
We got to knock down some doors.
It's a war on drugs.
We got to just break into people's homes and see if they have anything underneath their mattresses because we're at war.
Is it crazy that overall I think this could end up being good?
Why?
Because I think people need to really open their eyes.
How long can we turn a blind eye to how fucked the Chinese government is and how dangerous it is that is getting so powerful?
I think we need to, if the American public starts to be like, yo, this is fucking crazy, there might be political pressure in a good way to stop being so easy on government, stop allowing companies to export everything to China and pipe all manufacturing jobs out there, etc.
It could be good if we start to open our eyes to how fucked Chinese government is.
Yo, that's that's really interesting.
Uh, outside of just how fucked Chinese government is to people, but like how fucked it is to business.
Yeah, so like if you were building your products right in was it Shangzhen or what was one of these places that is builds like absolutely everything for us and they shut the whole fucking city down.
But if you're building there and you know that they have a zero COVID policy for your security of your business, you don't want to make sure that your shit is made in a factory that could be shut down at a heartbeat if two people have COVID.
You want to put your products in like Florida.
Yeah.
Like, right?
Like you want your clothing put together in a place where there is no chance in the world it's going to be shut down.
You get a lot of math.
That gets you going double.
Let's go.
That's good.
It's rich.
It's a shame.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Two positives.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
I like that.
Actually, but no, for real, business-wise, that's going to 100%.
If you had American manufacturing, especially in red states, you'd still be going.
I wonder if capitalistic greed starts to cut in.
I wonder if China shifts their policy because they have to compete with these other countries that are offering the cheap labor.
Right?
So they're like, we will lose factory jobs to India because India is just going to stay open.
Yeah, theoretically.
I don't know if they have stayed open.
I think they're getting pretty tough on people too, but not the same way.
Yeah, stay open, dude.
Stay open.
Let's go, bro.
I agree.
Breathe.
You're going to catch a cold.
Say again.
You're going to have to catch a cold.
Yeah.
Zero COVID is like zero allergies.
Like, what are you fighting at this point?
Yeah.
I mean, you give it, oh, I'm just going to get a little allergy.
Yeah.
You're going to be doing it.
That's what it is.
I like how we're just on the cusp of talking shit about COVID.
Because like 38, we're like, we don't got to worry about this.
You get to 48 and it's like, I mean, zero COVID would be a nice policy.
It would be.
But we got 20 more human shit.
Yeah, I don't give a fuck about a 68-year-old.
Like, that's on you to stay home.
Your parents stay safe.
I'm talking about terrorists.
Put it on them.
But I can't expect all of America to change their policies on my parents.
My parents don't even like going out.
A 68-year-old, you know, loves being out in the world like that.
Yeah.
They got to go to the grocery store and they got to see their friends on fucking bingo night or whatever.
That's it.
OJ wants to be out.
He's like, though, how old is he?
He's like 70.
Still partying at the clubs.
OJ killed enough people that if he died at 68, we'd all be like, meh, no, I don't got to protect OJ.
I'm not going to mask up to protect OJ.
He's innocent, bro.
Chill out, he literally isn't.
That motherfucker could die either way, be honest with you.
He lived a good life.
Vegas Flight Ticket Drama00:09:36
He did, actually.
He lived a full-ass life.
OJ died today.
Nobody would say, damn, man, OJ didn't get to live.
OJ went to Heisman, killed a white girl.
What else is there to do, yo?
This guy lived his life.
That's a good point, honestly.
I mean, he's the pinnacle of success.
Those are Akash's dreams.
Things he could never get away with.
Things that he never accomplished.
Within 2,000 yards in a season, killing two white people in one sitting.
Like, it's crazy.
This guy lived.
But those are the toughest things for you.
Athletic achievement.
Athletic achievement.
And letting a white girl get close enough to you where you could catch it.
All right.
We're glad to have you back.
I'm glad that you came back.
Yo, thank you guys so much.
So much edited off.
It's not going to make it in.
Oh, thank God, man.
I really appreciate you guys, dude.
Hey, man, we're here for you.
Thank you, brother.
You just need a matching Yankee hat and that you're not Stanley Yelnats, bro.
Who's that?
That's holy.
Yo.
Yo, you look like you, you look like holes, right?
It's an old Shia Laboof movie.
Oh, yeah, we got to go dig in the desert or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wasn't about that.
That movie was fire.
Say again, we're actually putting our shit in real holes, bro.
You fucking versions.
You know what I mean?
Like, dorks.
The movie was about digging holes, not putting stuff in holes.
Oh, I thought he had to fill the holes.
I thought the aliens made the whole shit go back.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That book was, I love that shit.
All right, boys.
We had an eventful weekend.
Okay, and so did Akash.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Akash was struggling and just living it out on Instagram.
Anyway, let's skip to this, okay?
Akash.
What happened, bro?
What happened?
All right.
So I'm supposed to fly to Tampa Thursday night.
Yeah.
Get to the airport.
Yeah.
Kev, camera guy, texts me.
He says, bro, these flight is canceled.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I just got here.
Yeah.
All good.
I get on the phone with United.
You know what I mean?
I'm 1K.
Let's get another flight.
She says, everything is gone.
She checks out of Philly.
It's gone.
She checks landing in Orlando.
It's gone.
On Friday, I'm like, let's fly out the next day.
Nothing.
There's nothing.
So I'm freaking out a bit.
And then my wife is like, yo, don't worry about it.
She was supposed to fly in the next day on Friday to see me.
She already had a ticket booked.
She's like, I'll just give you the reservation.
So I'm like, oh, I'm good.
I'm straight.
I go home relaxed.
One ticket pops up on a Delta flight.
I tell Dushar, book that in your name because you got an account and we'll give it to Kevin if we can.
And we're good.
I go home, talk to Delta.
The customer bitch is like, you can't do that.
I can't switch reservations.
So I don't have that flight.
Oh, no.
I'm freaking the fuck out.
And then I'm like, all right, if I have my wife cancel the flight, can you just book it for her?
And she's like, no, I can't do that.
So I have my wife cancel the flight.
I got my phone open.
I say, the second you cancel it, tell me and I'll book.
I try to book.
There's no tickets popping up.
No tickets popping up.
I call customer service back.
They go, yo, someone bought the ticket that fast.
Wow.
In that second.
No, like people who are waiting for the flight to open up.
Yeah, standby.
They're already on the list before.
So immediately.
But it was 9 a.m. the next day or no, 11 a.m. the next day.
And I'm on there like midnight.
If they're on the list.
They like bought a standby.
So it's like.
So that's what fucked me.
Yeah.
Dumbass.
So I'm also a fucking idiot.
The first person's ever wanted to be on a flight with everybody else.
You didn't know either.
You said, why are you laughing?
I knew.
My agent texts me like, yo, there's a lot of people.
You're a fucking idiot.
You thought you could outsmart Delta?
I got it.
I called customer service back and I'm like, what happened?
She goes, somebody bought the ticket.
Next time, just call us and cancel the ticket.
We'll cancel the ticket and rebook it for you.
I said, the last bitch said you couldn't do that.
She goes, yes, we can.
Oh, wow.
Fucked.
Wow.
Then I get a text.
It's like, yo, there's a flight in the business.
These customer services, like y'all, people?
No, no, no.
These are not Indian customer service.
That's what fucking me.
That's the problem with 1K is they connect you to Americans.
You get two high status.
They think you don't deserve Indians.
I want Indians.
Oh, shit.
Let me talk to Sunjay.
We got this.
Yeah.
I'm trying to book tickets on Southwest with two layovers, legit entering my credit card info as it's available.
I'll press purchase, tickets gone.
I didn't know what happened.
Apparently, we had stormy weather and there was a big storm in Tampa.
So everything got fucked and everything got pushed.
So then randomly, a 9 a.m. flight pops up.
I booked that immediately.
It's like $2,000.
I don't give a fuck.
Let me get there.
Wake up the next morning.
That flight is canceled.
So Dushar's got his 3 p.m. on Delta.
And I'm like, let's call customer service to it right.
Hour and a half wait.
Soon as we get connected, Kog is disconnected.
We call back, wait another hour and a half.
Lady answers the phone and she's like, yeah, I can help you with this.
Let me just cancel Tushar's ticket and then I'll book you on it.
Cancels Duchar's ticket.
Kog is disconnected again.
No.
And then we try to book and the flight, his flight is canceled and we can't book.
So now I'm fucked on Friday shows.
There's nothing.
Nothing I could do.
No tickets.
Nobody's making it anywhere.
I say, let's move all the shows a Saturday.
Whoever can move, move.
We'll figure out shows.
I get a 2 p.m. on JetBlue, last flight I can find.
And it's supposed to land at like 5:15.
I'm like, I'm going to be good for Saturday shows.
That flight gets delayed.
We got this in the air.
That's supposed traffic.
Son, we were waiting for a flight attendant.
Yeah.
Two-hour delay because they're one flight attendant short.
That one on my JetBlue flight.
Why?
Who cares?
You need four people to hand out fucking Biscoff.
Bro, they had a lady doing the over-announcement in the airport, and some guy was heckling her.
Like, the gate agent was like, We're missing a flight attendant.
And literally, the guy's like, You're a flight attendant.
She's on Mike being like, I'm not a flight attendant.
I'm a gate agent, and we're going to wait for the flight.
You're a flight attendant.
Hit her again.
Son, gate agents?
Yo, all y'all can suck my dick, gate agents.
None of them are helpful ever.
Really?
All you do is stand there and tell me what group is standing up.
What's your job?
Hey, group one, you're welcome to board.
That's all you do.
Group two.
I can't wait for your next treatment on a flight.
Yeah, they gotta treat you like this.
What's the gate agent going to do?
She can't fuck my flight.
Something changed, though.
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew bounced back.
Yeah, I bounced back.
I'm good.
It's on you now.
Gate agent not gonna do nothing.
Hey, flight attendants.
Thank you for nothing.
To be honest with you, I don't want a good relationship with you either.
Suck my dick, even though one of y'all was a fan of the podcast.
Jeez.
Do you know how many people are listening that works in the industry that are going to tell you the fact that you travel for a living and don't have a travel agent who you can call at the airport and direct book you into any airline system?
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
90-minute waits, getting cut off.
What are you talking about?
Who's his travel agent?
You?
No, we've got a travel coordinator.
Who?
Michael.
Michael.
You made up a name.
Why did Michael a shout out?
Wait, why did you go?
Why didn't you Michael up?
Then how come y'all were delayed getting to Vegas?
How come y'all were delayed getting to Vegas?
Do you know what time?
I'm going to call Mark.
Do you know what time?
I'm going to call Mark.
Do you know what time we decided to go?
I didn't call you because you would have done this dumb shit to me.
Make me feel bad about it.
Drew Vion travel shout out.
Michael McVean did our whole tour.
Sometimes you're at the airport.
Delta's delayed.
He books you on JetBlue.
What happened with Vegas?
What happened with Vegas?
Were we in Vegas on time?
Bitch.
No, no.
We were.
You were delayed.
No, we got there on time.
No, they got there on time.
Got there on time.
You were saying that.
Andrew's taking helicopters.
I took a helicopter.
Bro, is that shit crazy?
Son.
The fuck that part is that he's looking at your story and he could have called the travel agent and get it.
What did you do?
Andrew, look at that.
We was busy.
We were busy trying to get to Vegas, bro.
Vegas were slow down, too.
I thought you was on time.
Son, I almost didn't have.
I was about to go to Philly.
Yeah, I was like, I was about to go to Philly, and then my girl got on and found one ticket left.
And she was like, the flight was in, the flight was in two hours.
She's like, you might be able to make it if you take a helicopter.
And then I booked that helicopter ship.
There's a helicopter right by you.
I was telling you about this, right?
Blade.
And Blade, and it's literally five minutes.
It's twice as much as an Uber, but it's five minutes from the helicopter parking to JFK per person.
But I go by myself.
I'm just going to get myself alone, right?
So it's like, you're good money.
I spend twice as much to be there.
And when I say five minutes, I really mean four minutes.
Like, I'm not using five minutes as like a euphemism for a short amount of time.
Yeah.
It's literally five minutes from the helicopter on 30th.
They got one the east side and the west side.
It's on 30th and like 12th Avenue to JFK.
And at JFK waiting is an SUV where they drive you to your gate.
They give you your gate time.
So you go, when do you need to be at your flight?
And they'd be like, we can get you there at this time.
Oh, that's fucking.
And for people not listening.
I'm about to get blade.
Blade.
And yo, they hit me and after I posted, it hit me and I was like, yo, make me your ambassador.
I'll do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Red goes fire.
I don't know.
I wouldn't put it.
I'm afraid of Heights as the ambassador.
Oh, son.
Let me let you know something.
I'm absolutely terrified of helicopters because I got this delusional confidence that, like, as long as we have enough speed, the wings could just keep us up until we land gracefully.
Yeah.
But with a helicopter, if a screw comes out.
Gravity.
Boom.
Gravity.
Down.
Like, I'm not even worried about like running into the mountains and shit.
Like, no, I'm being serious.
Like, the Kobe thing, the concern is with the mountains, I'm not going on that shit.
The weather is not good.
Yeah.
This was a beautiful day.
Still terrified.
Yeah, yeah.
Because if one screw.
I don't know.
I think you might be cap about the whole Freda Heights thing.
No, on the Labamba flight, he was fine.
I'm fine because we got the wind.
We're the moon.
You're never completely sealed on a helicopter?
No, but you good with the door.
Helicopter Safety Fears00:06:45
You worry about it.
No, they open the door.
How's it going to be up in the air?
Well, that word scares me more.
What if they turn too hard?
I fall out that bitch.
You played a fucking seatbelt.
Vietnam, bro.
You're not on the R-train, fam.
You buckle in, bro.
You good?
God, I don't trust a seatbelt.
Ask that kid on the roller coaster.
He trusted his seatbelt.
What kid on the roller coaster?
I missed it.
Nope.
Nope.
Not going to go.
This shit is fire.
What?
I can't bring up a valid safety concern.
We can talk about Kobe, but you can't talk about the kid on the roller coaster.
Yeah, I'm not.
Disappointing.
I'm not making a joke.
I'm saying that's a fuck thing.
You can't trust these things.
What I'm saying is with the Kobe situation, I completely understand why he wasn't as concerned.
Just a little bit.
I'm sorry.
I was forgetting something when I told Mark.
How's that been me?
Trying to make me the asshole for having a valid safety concern.
I don't know if it's valid.
It seems valid.
Well, I guess it's for you.
So you could be worried about whatever you're worried about.
But I'm telling you, bro, like, you were up there, and that's it.
You're vulnerable.
Bro, you want to know dumb I am?
What?
Your tech said, yo, guys, I found a flight.
I'm taking the helicopter.
And I was like, you're taking the helicopter to Vegas?
I legit thought you were flying to Vegas on a helicopter.
And I was like, I'd still be going, bro.
Nah, so we got to Vegas.
That shit was crazy.
And then we went and we saw BTS.
We saw the biggest band in the history of the world.
So BTS is a K-pop band.
The next biggest musical group in the world is 10% the size of BTS.
Put that thing in perspective right there.
Just think about that.
Are you counting the Rolling Stones?
Yes.
Michael Jackson.
All of them.
Nah.
Michael Jackson.
I mean, they're massive.
Currently?
Yeah, currently in the library.
Oh, currently.
Have bands gotten smaller?
What are you talking about?
Don't we got way more people that can listen to music now?
Uh-huh.
People have way more access to music.
But the Stones have been doing music for 50 years.
I'm saying in the Stones' heyday, I don't think they're as big as BTS is currently.
Raw numbers.
You're saying raw numbers only.
You said his channel.
I'll say this.
His justification is bigger.
And more people have access to music than before.
So simply raw numbers.
Not percentage of the country or world listening.
Not whatever.
Just raw numbers.
They probably do have more numbers.
China.
They're rocking to the Beatles, bro.
I don't know, bro.
China's a billion people.
They want to be in the middle of the day.
BTS 2 is the same.
No, they're too effeminate.
They banned them.
No, they didn't.
They didn't ban, dog.
Okay, fine.
So they're not in China.
How the fuck they got so many people listening to them?
What do you mean?
I was told the next biggest band is 10% of the size of these.
Yeah, they probably meant today, right?
Yeah, they're talking about right now.
So shit got less popular?
Music got less popular since the Beatles and Rolling Stones?
You know, you could argue that it did, actually, because there's so many more bands that can listen to.
I would argue it got more popular because way more people have access to music.
And now we got options.
Yeah.
The Beatles are shoved down your throat.
Yeah, there were four bands.
I don't know about Rolling Stones.
But you couldn't listen to the music all the time.
You got to walk around your fucking record player.
Now we got this shit is right here.
Music is being listened to way more now than it was back in the day.
Guarantee.
Finding the point.
It's like that.
It is.
There are more iPhones today than before.
Just keep it up.
Be honest.
Think about it.
You needed a record player or you needed to listen to radio.
Means you need some big ass fucking radio player back in the day with the rolling stage.
Just white people listen to that shit.
Let all these Asians listen to BTS.
But that just means you can listen to it more often.
That doesn't mean some rolling stars are small.
I'm fine with that.
Beatles.
I'm saying Beatles.
Rolling Stars.
Beatles was a little bigger.
Beatles is huge.
Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson.
What about him?
And he had China.
What about him?
Michael Jackson, they love China.
They love Michael Jackson in China.
Come on, couldn't even look at it.
Come on, son.
Michael Jackson can't even hold BTS's jock straps if I'm being honest.
If I'm being honest, bro.
Yo, BTS slaps Michael Jackson in his stupid face.
Michael Jackson wishes he was BTS.
Michael Jackson didn't have to sing about butter.
His voice was butter.
His moves were butter.
Michael Jackson.
BTS better dancers.
BTS, better singers.
BTS better dress.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You looked it up, didn't you?
No.
And what's it saying?
Just look it up, dog.
You want me to search biggest band in the history of the world?
Google that.
Okay, biggest.
You're retarded.
What are you talking about?
Why is that retarded?
It's just so retarded.
You know, I'm so retarded from a retard.
It has to be true.
Yeah.
Damn, recognize Gangsta.
Basically, you were close.
So it's the Beatles, Eagles, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, AC, D.C., Maroon, 5, U2.
You put in white bands?
Stupid.
I just searched biggest bands in the history.
And what was the website they gave it to you?
This was Wikipedia.
I'm 5'6 on Wikipedia, son.
You can't trust nothing on Wikipedia.
I'm 5'6.
What website do you trust?
Facts.
Yeah.
Facts.com.
Facts.
And an EDU.
You know what I'm saying?
Facts is what I trust.
No, it's just facts.
More people can listen to music.
BTS, everybody listens.
More people can listen to music more often, but that didn't mean more people can listen to me.
Son, BTS is the biggest Asians in the history of Asians.
There is something to say.
I'll give you that.
Genghis Khan.
Genghis Khan.
I'll give you that.
Genghis Khan conquered 30 people.
Genghis Khan.
There's 30 people.
I'm related to Genghis Khan.
Say again?
You relate to me.
Me too.
You, definitely.
Both of us, probably.
You, definitely.
One out of every six.
So somebody in this room.
Yo, you, 100%.
Oh, can I be?
Maybe you, not even.
Who's more tyrannical than you?
I'm not a tyrant.
You are Genghis Khan.
I am not a tyrant.
Two things can be coincidental.
Okay?
I think that's sheer coincidence.
All right.
This guy already trying to connect.
He was all up in Asia.
Yeah.
You're Asian.
Yeah.
Okay.
He wasn't all up in Scotland.
He knew what the fuck time it was, little pussy.
He knew it wasn't worth it.
No, he knew that if he came there, he would get his shit split.
Just like everybody who came to motherfucking Scotland get their shit split.
Okay.
Who got their shit split in Scotland?
Everybody who came to Scotland got their shit split.
Anyway, they might do some shit split into us too.
Yeah.
But you're going to get your shit split.
Okay.
We love BTS, okay?
Because BTS was fire.
It's an amazing band.
Amazing group.
Incredible.
Super.
We don't have to argue who's bigger, okay?
We can just acknowledge that it's a lot of kids.
They don't know anything about music, yo.
All right, guys, let's take a break for a second because we got a lot of gambling coming up.
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Okay.
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Streamer Sexism Controversy00:15:40
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Now, let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, we're back.
Vegas was awesome.
First of all, I just want to say thank you so much to Scooter and Manson.
Y'all were great taking care of us and seeing that was very inspirational.
It was awesome.
You know how they say, like, what is that shit where they take kids from the hood and they make them go to rich neighborhoods?
What is that shit?
Like, fresh air fund or some shit like that.
Fresh air, they like to take you to the country or whatever.
Yeah, but like, even busing and that kind of stuff, it's important, not in terms of the schooling, but being able to see things because once you see something, it becomes a reality.
Better example, LeBron giving everybody in his school a bike so you can just go explore.
Yeah, see.
Yeah.
Busing, they got all this other shit tied to it, but just going, taking a bike and just riding it and seeing.
Some people have huge houses like this.
That's a possibility.
Yes, exactly.
And who knows if they'll actually go.
It's almost good to like force them.
But like seeing something, like seeing BTS perform in a stadium for 80,000 people and like how they engineered the show and all this kind of stuff, it like really inspired me.
I'm like, okay, how do you do comedy in a place like this?
And before that, I didn't even think of doing comedy and, well, maybe early on, but I thought I was doing comedy and stadiums.
But still, it's just like, yeah, you got to see it.
You got to see these things.
And I'm a fucking dreamer, dude.
I dream crazy.
Yeah.
But being able to see it makes it so much more accessible.
Like the problem just starts to solve itself once you see it.
Anyway.
But yeah, shout out to them, man.
Thank you.
That weekend was fucking awesome.
Or those 15 hours were great.
Okay, what else we got, man?
Interesting thing happened with this kid.
He's a streamer.
His name is Speed.
I show Speed.
Yeah.
He's a wild boy.
Yeah.
What'd you say?
It's a wild boy.
Wild kid.
He's a kid.
He's, you know, he's, I think, 16, 17 years old.
And he got knocked off Twitch.
And I think he's also being suspended from YouTube as well.
Yeah, that's what it looks like.
And he's like banned from Valorant and like other games specifically.
Right.
So he's not allowed on those game servers right now.
Right.
And then it could potentially just be wiped off stream altogether.
And so he's this kid who said some pretty crazy things in stream.
He's also done a lot of hilarious stuff.
Yeah.
You know, and yeah, he's tricky because he's undeniably talented as a streamer.
Without a doubt.
Especially as like 17, he talks to a million people every day on stream.
Funny and streaming.
It's so hard, bro.
Wild.
Yeah, you got to constantly entertain.
Just by yourself, just like radio show host at 17, like crazy.
You're almost incentivized to be crazy and say wild shit.
Exactly.
You got to keep things moving.
Exactly.
And then the issue is that he goes on stream and just says crazy stuff.
At like 17, doesn't necessarily have like a boundary license and then just says shit that's like.
At 17, you're not or 16.
You're not thinking about the rest of your life.
Yeah.
Right.
You're not thinking of, okay, how am I going to feed my family?
How am I going to take care of my kids?
These type of things.
He's 17 years old.
He's probably making millions of dollars.
And he made those millions of dollars by saying the wildest shit in the moment.
And people just fucking lose their mind.
It's also hard to tell if it's a joke or not.
Like sometimes he's doing shit that's a joke.
Like he'll do like the dick suck thing and it's like, oh, that's funny.
He's doing that to be crazy.
Yeah.
But then other times he'll just be on this crazy screaming rant and it's like, is this a joke?
Or you actually like this?
And then that shit is like kind of inexcusable.
Yeah, it's just, I just feel bad because it's obvious that he doesn't have anybody in his corner kind of giving him game.
Because it's such a new world.
How can somebody give you game on streaming when streaming is less than 10 years old or whatever?
Yeah, but usually like with money comes people who can help you make more money.
Yeah, that's fair.
Because they see that they can make some themselves.
And there's good money in stream.
There's good money in stream, 100%.
And a lot of these people are becoming famous and successful.
And it's just unfortunate, man.
Yeah, this is one of those things that kind of makes me sad.
Yeah.
You know, because he needs a mentor.
Say again?
He needs a mentor.
He needs a mentor.
He needs someone to be like, yo, if you say these things, you are canceled.
Yeah.
And he's operating in this streaming space where, and I'm not trying to cat for him, but like if you're playing video games with people, everything's anonymous, except when you're streaming with your face.
But the way people speak to you over video games is how someone would speak if they were anonymous.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Fuck you, racist shit, sexist shit.
The shit he's saying, there's probably mad people listening right now that said all the same shit when they were 16 or similar things when they were 16, but they just didn't have a camera in their face with a million people watching.
He's still saying it now.
It's not a camera in their face, probably.
100%.
So he's in this environment where all this, like, for lack of a better word, like toxicity exists.
Yeah.
Like, and people get charged up when they're competitive.
Like, if we're going to look at gaming like we look at sports, right?
It's an esport right now, right?
You don't think that basketball players are saying wild shit to each other on the fucking court?
Now imagine they're not even, they don't even have to see each other.
There's not even a risk of fighting.
Exactly.
Now, how crazy you are.
Football players saying the craziest shit to one another.
Like to the point where when one of them is mic'd up, they got to give each other nods and shit.
Yo, yo, chill, chill.
I'm mic'd up.
Don't say that crazy shit.
So this is a sport and people are operating in a way that they do when they're playing a competitive thing.
Yeah.
Now, I'm not justifying what he said.
What he said is going to be fucked up because you're looking at it as pure entertainment.
But when you're looking at you just in a boxing ring with someone, you don't think Floyd is saying the craziest shit to Canela when they're fighting?
Yeah.
Like, so I get, especially in that environment, why they think it's acceptable to say these wild things, especially you've been rewarded with millions of dollars and millions of fans.
Yeah, but like those are like competitive by nature.
And like the whole point is to try to beat each other.
Whereas like an e-date or like you're on stream just talking with people, like it's not an specify about the video game that he got kicked out from.
Oh, I gotcha.
Also, even when anytime he's streaming, he is doing his job as an entertainer.
And the thing about being 17, especially a boy, you don't understand consequences yet.
Yeah.
Because you haven't had to deal with real consequences.
Do you want to show the clip that got him kicked off YouTube?
Yeah.
YouTube clip?
Yeah.
Let's do that one.
The clip that got him kicked off of Twitch is wild.
Yeah, I don't even want to play that on Flavor.
Yeah, I don't even want to play.
And it sucks because it's harder for black streamers to grow their audience.
And it's like he was growing at a crazy rate.
Why is it harder for them?
I don't know.
I just like they say it's harder.
And I believe them.
Oh.
Yeah.
You know what?
I don't know why that would be.
Because they can't say the N-word is freely.
I mean, that's probably it.
But yeah, this is the clip that is going around now.
They got him banned from like Valorant and a bunch of other guys.
Here she is.
She's on top of the thing.
10 seconds.
Are you left?
Fuck, man.
Yo, man.
Come on, bro.
Man, you're going to hit those shots, man.
Shut your stupid ass up, nigga.
What's you talking to, bro?
Shut your nerd ass up.
I'm going to play this game.
Shut up, monkey.
Shut up.
Shut your bitch ass up.
All right.
All right.
You're out there.
All right.
Calm down.
Damn, bro.
Shut up, bro.
I don't want to play this game.
I'm not a noob, all right?
God damn.
What?
What, bitch?
Bitch?
Is a bitch talking to me?
Is a female talking to me?
Am I going?
Am I tripping?
Am I tripping on a high-wight timeout?
It's a female talking to me right now.
It's a fucking female talking to me.
Get off the fucking game.
And you're your husband dishes, bitch.
Shut up.
Fuck you.
Fuck is wrong with y'all.
Stop talking like that, nigga.
Fuck is wrong with y'all, dog.
I'm not one of these little lame man Valorant nerds, nigga.
Fuck with y'all.
Fucking shut up.
I got the spike.
Fucking nerds on my fucking team.
So, like, he's an engaging streamer, bro.
Like, imagine you're 15.
That's your sentence coming out.
He's an engaging streamer.
As you can see from the clip, he's engaging, bro.
And you're 15, you watch this, and some guys just scream.
Son, that was hilarious, bro.
I'm sorry.
I laughed.
You know what's great is when a black guy calls a white guy a monkey, it takes all the racial tension out of him.
He does.
And then you can just awesome dick.
Laugh at how funny it is.
Yeah.
Get the fuck off stream and do your husband's dishes.
That is crazy, but hilarious.
I'm sorry.
It made me laugh.
What am I supposed to say?
Oh, my God.
That didn't make you laugh.
Y'all didn't have to stop yourselves from laughing when we were watching that.
I also laughed at it.
I'm not one of those people.
Stop podcasting.
Go do your wife's dishes.
It's a funny thing to say.
You know what's crazy?
It's only sexist because of the gender roles of women doing their husband's dishes.
But just telling somebody to do their spouse's dishes is hilarious.
Like me telling you, but that's the only reason it's...
I'm saying it's a girl, bro.
Yeah.
No, but like.
It's only racist because he's a black guy.
When you say the racist thing, no, but I'm saying it's the same thing.
You feel strange about manhorn?
Y'all don't understand what I'm trying to say.
What am I saying?
You're saying it's a funny insult in general.
If you just say that to anybody, it's funny.
You just can't say it to me.
But you should say it to any guy all the time.
I guess what I'm saying is like, women don't do dishes anymore.
Yeah.
Like, that's not their role in society is to only do dishes.
So we're using antiquated gender roles.
Like, they're 16.
They're all playing video.
He's 16.
That six-year-old girl grew up with her mom and dad both working.
Not one of them was just doing the dishes.
She might not even understand it.
I think she understands.
Okay, maybe she understands.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's like, it's like, go shine your husband's armor.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Eventually that is going to become that.
Yeah, eventually.
No?
That's a large gap.
I'm just saying, bro.
Shine your husband's armor, bro.
Bitch, go shine your husband's armor, bitch.
Hey, cancel the black streamer, Al.
Cancel that streamer.
You know how hard it is for black streamers to get people to watch them, bro?
For black streamers, now that they don't have an athletic competitive advantage in each horse.
It's hard for them, man.
Their thumbs are faster.
They have fast twist balls.
Don't dare they.
That's just this finger.
Yeah, they're too busy washing their chicken with soap, bro.
It's hard, bro.
It's hard for them, bro.
Go wash your husband's chicken, bro.
Go wash your husband's chicken.
All right, can we talk about Al getting absolutely demolished for saying black people actually wash chicken with soap?
Yeah, I got demolished.
But do they, Al?
I mean, I've seen a couple videos.
Some were jokes, and there were a couple that were real.
It's just we don't want to acknowledge it.
What do we don't want to acknowledge?
People really wash their chicken with.
Nah, it's usually vinegar, lemon, lemon, or just water.
Or just water.
Yeah.
Okay.
And you don't need to do any of that.
No, I've seen videos.
I could post them right now.
There's videos.
Pull them up.
Yeah.
We're going to take the time to pull them up.
Nah, because I'm vitigating off this shit.
Don't pull up the joke ones.
Put up the real ones.
I mean, I don't know if what's real and what's a joke.
I don't know how you do this.
I mean, there's a child.
There's a child cleaning chicken.
There's no way that that's real.
That guy's real.
Man.
Yeah.
Fucking the news.
This guy's real.
That guy's real.
You truly believe that a guy that has dish soap is real.
I'm telling you, that guy's real, bro.
It might be fake news, bro.
Might be fake news.
Whatever.
We don't want to acknowledge it.
But sometimes I got to hold up the merit to our community, bro.
Hold up the water.
Hold the water.
All right, fair enough.
Okay, so what is the takeaway with speed here?
Like, one, he's doing things that are like inappropriate.
Like, he's yelling at people on a game that he doesn't necessarily know.
I'm assuming he doesn't know them.
Like, if he knows her and like their friends, you can get away with saying different things.
I'm assuming he's just yelling crazy on a stream.
Come on now.
Come on, now.
He be tilted.
He's still tilted.
He ain't tilted.
Y'all are such boomers with your fucking tilted.
It was like six years ago when he was on stream, dude.
What do you guys know about that?
Tilted.
But what he's saying is wrong, but at the same time, he's like a super entertaining streamer.
He's engaging.
He is engaging.
And like, he's also funny.
He puts the gay in engaging.
Yeah.
But he's like, he's a great streamer.
Streaming is hard, like I said before.
And he's going to do your wife's dishes, bro.
Go do your wife's dishes.
He needs a mentor.
He needs someone to help him.
He does.
He does.
He needs someone to come in and say, yo, here's how you got to behave now that you're making probably hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, like changing people's lives.
There's a ton of attention and spotlight on someone that's 17 without really any infrastructure.
Yeah.
That shit is fucking hard.
And that's the tricky thing about streaming is you don't need any infrastructure.
So a 17-year-old kid can become uber famous.
Yeah.
And there's also no censoring.
Like if you get TikTok famous, you can make a TikTok and be like, I don't really like that.
Yeah.
Like you don't have to post it.
When you're streaming, it's all posted.
Yeah.
It's insanely high stakes.
And that's why people are watching.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's he's on the highest high wire.
Yeah.
Because he's saying the craziest shit.
Yeah.
No censorship, no post, like editing, nothing.
Oof.
That's crazy, dog.
Yeah.
And he's going to stick around.
Like, as long as they're streaming around, like, did y'all laugh when he was saying that?
Come on, bro.
Did you laugh?
Come on.
Did you laugh?
Absolutely not.
I've never laughed at sexism ever, bro.
I laughed.
It's not sexist.
I laughed the hardest in monkeys.
It's not sexist.
It's not sexist.
It's an activity.
Watching dishes is an activity.
Both sexes can do it.
If she wasn't a woman, it wouldn't be, you know?
It would be more offensive.
When I said to Akash, if my wife's dishes.
If my wheel should be a bicycle.
I love that video.
I love that video.
But yeah, it's not sexist.
I stand by.
It's not sexist.
It's an activity.
Anybody can wash dishes.
Women are better.
Why are they better?
No, I'm just saying.
They're closer to the sink.
Yeah, it's like it's, I have to bend over too much to.
You don't have longer arms?
Say again?
You only got longer arms.
I'm still too tall.
Yeah, I'm way too tall.
But you could do it.
You could probably do it.
I go watch my wife's dishes.
Yeah, you do wash your wife's dishes, bro.
Yo, go wash your wife's dishes is crazy, right?
That's fucking pure, you know, egalitarian or something.
What would you tell speed if he was sitting here right now watching this?
I'd tell him, hey, buddy, that shit was fucking killed.
That shit killed.
Like, I don't know what to tell you.
It sucks when you get canceled off of some shit that absolutely murders the room.
And there are other videos out there that you're saying wild shit that is like a little bit uncomfortable.
Cut that shit out.
And maybe if those videos didn't exist, this one wouldn't be that big a deal.
My feeling is his other video, which we won't play, is absolutely wild and taps into sexism, which is raw sexism.
It's fucking wild.
Yeah.
So now everybody's primed to look for sexism.
Yeah.
If that video didn't exist, nobody's looking for it.
And people go, ah, that's a sexist thing.
That's a sexist joke.
You should have made that sexist joke.
But when you compare the two, incredibly tame.
I didn't think this was that bad.
This is tame compared to the other one.
Yeah, objectively.
Especially on a video game app, go to wash dishes.
Apologizing For Past Clips00:04:54
Like, do we know what these kids are saying to each other?
The N-word is like...
I'm not going to defend everything this kid said because, again, we saw that other video is fucking crazy.
But this, objectively, go wash your husband dishes one time.
That's it.
One joke.
Yeah, this is his apology.
What's good, everybody?
It's a clip, you know, that I've seen, you know, that's going crazy right now.
Me between an altercation with a girl and I was playing a value.
It's a little funny.
You know what I'm saying?
And I want to say some, you know, like a few things from that situation.
You know what I'm saying?
But that day, you know, I wasn't having a good day.
You know, I was getting a lot of racist text of speech, donations, a lot of people, you know, talking about my dead aunt that's in the grave right now.
But look, I don't want to make that no excuse.
I'm wrong.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm not trying to justify.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm just saying, like, that day, I just don't bash on people for no reason.
That's where I'm coming from from that statement I just said.
But, you know, I'm completely wrong.
You know what I'm saying?
I was completely wrong in that situation right there.
I can't say anything to justify that situation right there.
But that clip is from months ago and I changed from there and I grew.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm very, I don't want to say, I'm young.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm very young.
For every situation, I grow, you know, and I change, you know, and I got to become a better person.
That is not me no more.
That is not me.
And I grow from that situation.
That's coming from the bottom of my heart.
I doubt it.
That is not me.
You know, hopefully I can, you know, really, you know, see like the genuine in me.
You know what I'm saying?
I apologize from that girl.
I apologize.
If that girl wants to hit me up and say anything, you know, I would love to hear her out.
You know what I'm saying?
But, you know, I apologize.
That's not me.
That clip is from months ago.
I'm sorry, man.
Peace out.
So disappointed.
Bro, I needed him to say peace out, leave the stream going.
And he doesn't realize it's still going.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I thought that this was about to be a prank.
And that'd be legendary shit.
That would be great.
Yeah.
This was.
I was getting racist donations.
It's just like, well, you know, yeah, you don't have to accept.
Do you have to accept them?
Yeah, if they donate it, he has a feature where if you donate, it auto-plays a message that you send.
Oh.
So people would be like, yo, here's five bucks.
Really?
That's funny.
Dude, what a bargain to call a black person the N-word, right?
If you're a racist, dude, like get on Twitch.
That's how it is.
Oh, my.
That's what they've done now.
He hadn't turned the feature off by now.
No, I mean, you get paid from it.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
You named your price.
There you go.
I mean, I ain't gonna feel bad for you if you named your price.
That's how I'm assuming it is.
I'm not gonna say, if I say $1,000, you'd be as racist to me as you want to.
I don't get to be like, you know, that shit hurt my feelings.
I got $1,000.
You call me a Camel Jockey right now for $1,000, Mark.
Take it away.
What's your vimo?
What's your vimo?
Hey, what's your vimo?
Hey, hey, hey, ready?
Camel jockey?
Free.
I want an apology from Andrew.
I'm sorry.
You know what I'm saying?
I changed, bro.
I changed from a few minutes ago when I said that.
I said, I changed.
I'm sorry.
You know what I'm saying?
I really apologize.
But no, in all seriousness, speed, man.
I hope you get someone in your corner.
You get somebody to kind of mentor you, show you the ropes of this game.
Like, even people who operate outside the mainstream media need a little media training because you're going to get to a point where everything you do is news.
And right now, they're going to be paying super close attention to you because there's clicks and you're cancellation.
Yeah, right?
Everybody's going to see how many views the video of you getting canceled got.
And they're like, ooh, let me go see if I could be the next person to find him doing some fucked up shit.
And the trickiest thing is if you've made your career doing wild stuff, that's what you know best.
That's your bread and butter.
So you're going to lean back into that when you want to be entertaining.
And you got to be, you got to be careful right now.
It sucks because he's going to look back on some of this shit for sure in like even five, 10, 15 years, whatever, and be like, God damn, I regret saying that.
But not that one.
That one.
No, that one.
That one.
That one.
I can't wait to tell someone to go home and wash their husband's dishes, bro.
I'm going to tell that to my wife.
I was crafting the Jexes.
Let my girl talk a little bit.
She go back to our home and wash her husband's dishes.
All right, you want to talk about Elon Musk?
Yeah.
So I don't know exactly what's going on with his Elon thing.
I don't think anyone does.
But there was an interesting thing that happened today.
So Elon bought the, what, 9.2% of Twitter.
He gets offered a board seat.
Twitter puts out that he's not going to be on the board.
And then today, liked a tweet that someone put out.
And they're like, here's the story.
Elon bought into Twitter for free speech.
The people at Twitter said, Elon, fall in line.
Elon said, I don't want to be on the board anymore.
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Elon Twitter Board Seat00:02:41
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Now let's get back to the show.
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Plastic-Free Deodorant Promo00:14:50
Now let's get back to the show.
But also there's something on that.
If you join the board, you've got to sign NDAs about what they're developing, what it's all about.
So you're basically hushing them if you join the board.
You got to keep quiet.
He doesn't want it.
He's going to get influence and info that he could still be free to, you know, that's what I'm assuming.
But why would he like that tweet?
Why would he be so sassy on the internet then?
Because it still makes him look good.
It's still a good PR for to be like, I can't be silenced.
I turned down the board C because they wanted me to play bull and I'm going to play Black.
The marketing of this is that he's an advocate for free speech and he's going to save the platform and reinstate Trump and be a free speech advocate, whatever.
And all of a sudden some guy's like, yeah, they tried to silence him.
And so he left and he's like, yeah, I left.
That's why I did it.
Like, it's great for him.
Like, whether or not this is true or not, this is like influence.
He's still going to.
Yeah.
But every, I'm pretty sure like every major company has like different stipulations for their board members.
If you sign up on the board, it's like, hey, you have to behave this way.
You can't do things to drag the market share or to drag like the stock value, things like that.
Like there's certain like SEC things that are like built in that they have to abide by.
And some of those things might go against what he wants to do.
He's been penalized in the past for Tesla?
Yeah.
It was the smoking on Rogan, right?
I'm pretty sure.
No, it was something that just caused fluctuations in the price.
Huh?
Yeah, I don't know.
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
So then what do you think this whole thing was?
He must have known that.
He's not an idiot.
He has publicly traded companies.
I'm assuming he went into negotiation being like, oh, yeah, I'll be able to tell him, like, no, I don't want to abide by these specific stipulations.
And then they're like, well, no, you have to.
I assume they got into a negotiation.
But release.
If this is so normal for all these companies, then he would know that's normal and he wasn't going to be able to get around it.
Unless he can negotiate his way around it because now he's the biggest shareholder on Twitter.
Yeah, he probably thought he would be able to get around it mostly.
And they just said, nah.
Now, why can they say nah if he's the biggest shareholder?
Because all the board members own shares bigger than him.
Ah, so together he owns their collective shape.
It's a plurality, but not the majority.
Ah, so their collective shares give them more influence on him.
Right.
And he probably thought that some of them were going to come on board with what he wanted to do.
And they were like, nah, we're not about that life.
I'm assuming.
No one knows.
It's really funny that, oh, go out.
No, it's really funny the position that Elon's in, where we're just like, you're captain savior, and you can just save anything.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, oh, the national debt, just let Elon handle it.
Like, we just observe him as this really smart guy and that he can solve any problem.
And Twitter free speech, he's going to figure it out.
Here are all his ideas.
Everybody gets a blue check.
More than anybody I've ever seen.
Remember when he bought Bitcoin and the price fucking skyrocketed?
Yeah.
And then he sold and the price fucking plummeted.
So what does that say about us?
That like once you convince us that you're more intelligent, that we will follow you blindly?
I think there's a threshold for genius that we're just like, this guy's got it.
He's got it all figured out.
And track record mostly.
Track record.
And I think the distance between the result that you want and just him, it's like, oh, he's so powerful that if he's convincing us that that's a path, that's a new tech versus going through the government and all the steps there, you can trust what he's going to do a bit more.
Yeah, that's interesting.
He got to chill in his track record.
He's starting to take some L's.
Talk to me.
He still, where's that highway that was supposed to be in LA?
Oh, there's a ton of stuff happening.
What about the internet that was supposed to be in fucking Russia and Ukraine?
I don't think, I don't hear anybody talking about it.
I don't hear it helping people.
They still have videos that are being able to come out of those areas.
That's the biggest problem.
As long as his W's shine brighter than his L's, he'll be true.
That's true.
And once we're bought in, that's the thing.
Like, we're bought in.
Like, motherfuckers are invested in Tesla, which is an investment in Elon.
Literally invested.
That's Trump.
It doesn't matter how many businesses go under.
Like, he ran for president, he won.
Like, he took on the media.
He won.
Like, whatever.
Shine the light on your W's, man.
But I think it's interesting.
I feel it's like he has the Kanye effect where it's like, all right, we bought into Kanye, so everything he does, we'll pay attention to it.
But if you start fucking up, then we're going to start looking at your other stuff.
Like, hey, wait, these clothes are just, you just remix some clothes, put some holes in it.
But we're still paying for the clothes.
No, no, there was a time where it was starting to hurt.
Like, people weren't buying Yeezys as much or whatever.
And now he kind of bounced back.
Yeah.
So that's what I'm saying.
It's like.
And I'll even say this with the Tesla shit.
Like, everybody that gets a Tesla says the same thing to me.
Oh, my God.
You got to get a Tesla.
Tesla is the fucking best car ever.
You guys are Tesla.
You said the same thing.
Best car.
Best car ever.
Like, literally, everyone says, my friend, my friend just got one.
I think he got the one that got like the spaceship steering wheel, the plaid, the plaid, or whatever.
Like that.
He's like, oh, you got to do it.
It's so fast.
Like, to me, and again, when I'm in it, I'm like, oh, this is nice.
It's fun.
It's kind of comfortable.
It's minimalist, but the design is really good.
But like to me, the car is not that impressive visibly.
Like, I like aesthetic with a car because I don't really know much about cars.
So I love like the old classics, right?
Because I'm like, oh, this took place in a time where they didn't have to worry about miles per gallon and they didn't have all these limitations.
It was just, hey, just make the prettiest fucking thing in the world.
Right.
So that's something that I really appreciate.
I don't think that they're the most beautiful car.
Thought it was as I thought it looked good.
I don't find it the most beautiful car, but it was the first, especially if it's the first electric you've ever driven, you're not prepared for how smooth it is.
And then all of a sudden, you start driving a car where it's like, Yo, this is like I'm driving on pillows, like I barely feel the road, and then you're just immediately like, I never driven anything like this.
It blows your mind.
I'd also driving experience, yeah, and you're not usually the driver.
I was just about to say that passenger experience.
You guys grew up driving, yeah, so driving means something to you, and you attach yourself to like not only things you love about it, but things you hate about it.
And it seems to have solved the problems that you guys have with driving.
Absolutely.
Whereas, I grew up on a subway, so all cars are kind of like the same.
Yeah, and oh, yeah, this one is a little bit better.
This steering is a little bit different over here, but it's not that big of a deal.
Yeah, it doesn't affect my life in the same way that for you guys, a car with like shitty steering.
You don't even understand shitty steering.
Yeah, even after being in New York for 10 years, the idea of having a nice car just almost meant nothing to me.
Once I got the Tesla, I was like, oh, this is great.
This drive's great.
Has its flaws, but it drives great, but it's not as important as it is if you're like a guy who commutes to work for an hour every day.
The car is like the sneaker of Florida.
Yes, it is.
Like when you're in Florida, like you got to have the nice car because that's your sneaker.
And the sneakers don't matter.
You work.
Yeah, most people see your car.
And sneaker culture made sense to me when I came to New York because I was like, oh, you walk everywhere and you don't have a car.
So the only way I can flex is this.
But like all these people living like these rednecks of Florida with their lifted trucks or whatever, like that's a flex.
That's the flex.
I drive everywhere.
I pull up in the parking lot.
You see this shit.
I got the biggest truck with the biggest thing and the loudest horn and the whatever.
Like you see me get into it.
It's a change.
Yeah.
It sounds stupid, but like they're also looking at some of the things that we would do in New York and be like, oh, that's absolutely ridiculous.
You spend a thousand dollars on shoes?
You got how many pairs of shoes?
You got a lot.
You got how many.
And then in New York, you're like, oh, you also walk through them very quickly.
You wear a sneaker the fuck out after eight months in New York.
In the suburbs, a sneaker can last you five years.
You don't walk like that.
So New York, you have to have a rotation of fresh sneakers.
It's the only way to flex.
And I'm going to run through these bitches quickly.
All you got in the suburbs is cars.
Yeah.
You're seeing the taxis exist right now.
There's like a Revel that has the Tesla taxis.
I think like their goal is also, you see the future movies where all the cars are kind of the same, where you won't, once your car drops you off at work, your self-driving car is driving around, picking up other people, making money, or you have a share in a car and they're all self-driving.
So it's like, it looks good enough for all of that in mass.
And this individualized, like, oh, this car is mine and this is my taste.
Like, that's kind of out the window, like, how people aren't like owning as much as, or it's not as important to just own.
And this is me.
This is my personality.
Exactly.
It's like, it's a very nice car for a big population.
I wonder about this in the future when cars are self-driving, right?
Is right now BMW ultimate driving machine.
Is it the future just going to be if you own a car, it's all about the passenger experience?
Like, are the fucking seats are super comfortable and you got X number of TVs and you can recline this shit all the way back as opposed to the engine and the horsepower.
It's just going to be what allows me and my friends to ride in the comfiest fashion.
That's the car that costs the most money.
And there's that's luxury.
That's what I'm assuming will be because a Porsche ain't gonna do fucking nothing when it's self-driving.
Yeah, that's a waste of everything.
It's completely inconvenience.
Me and one other person sitting mad low.
Fuck wants this bucket seat.
It's gonna all depend on like, okay, you're in LA, you're in traffic, hour, hour and a half, super luxe in the back seat.
But it doesn't matter.
Just get me here, 10-minute drive.
That's interesting.
Like, if the assumption is we'll have more people and more people equals more cars, you should plan the design of the car around traffic.
If you can't solve the traffic problem, right?
If you can't make a four-lane highway, eight lanes, or whatever the other complications are.
So solve the problem of traffic by just making that drive more bearable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you can do work while you're doing it.
It's a commute.
Also, traffic will be mitigated.
Well, you know who does that now?
Yeah, once the internet of things exists, traffic is almost non-existent.
That's what they say.
I don't know if I necessarily believe that.
If all the people have to go to work at the same time, like you're still going to have cars.
But if there's half as many, if there's fewer cars and people are able to even carpool or go like 300 miles an hour on the highway.
Oh, that's right.
They could be faster.
Okay.
So there could be other things.
All that to say.
On the self-driving car thing, I did think it was interesting that Elon came out and said, oh, if you have a Tesla, you can sign it up for the program to drive other people around while you're not using it.
Yeah.
That's the whole idea.
So he's basically like, you own a Tesla, you go to work, and your car's sitting there for eight hours, let it drive people around, and then you'll get paid instead of just having your car sit there.
Exactly.
That's a great idea.
But where can that work?
What do you mean?
It'll work in cities.
But it's not now.
Soon?
It's illegal.
Self-driving is illegal.
Some small cities are going to be the pilot program to be like, all right, let it work in this city.
But his understanding was it wasn't good enough.
Like, it doesn't understand red lights and stuff.
Weezy got a Tesla in LA, and she has full self-driving.
Her, she's in the beta, and it makes turns for you.
Like, it's crazy.
Stops at red lights?
Stops at red lights.
Stops at stop signs.
The red light thing is.
I think they got that figured out.
Dude, the red light drives.
How do they figure out the red light?
I think they got that on the light.
It's all figured out.
It's not the only thing that's going to be.
Is it tapped into the lighting grid?
No, just the fucking camera.
He's able to tell which one's red, which one's green.
But what if the sun is blasting light?
Eight cameras on the car.
The sun is blasting light on the internet of things.
Can I just make the point?
Can I just make the point?
You fucking idiot.
What if the sun is blasting light on the green part of the light, right?
You don't think Elon Musk was like, oh, yeah, there might be the sun.
Yeah.
We got to think of it.
Well, that's the big issue, right?
Is that the camera picks up shadows?
And that's what some of the crashes.
Yeah, the thing on your side, the sun reflected on a white truck, and so it blinded it.
But again, you're talking about billions and billions of pieces of data it's able to analyze and millions of driving hours.
I guarantee you, if you put that up to like the normal driving record of a 16-year-old or anyone else, it's that much safer.
But I don't think people are ready to be killed by robotic cars.
Like that just hits different.
Like if there was a person there.
We were making a left turn going a three-lane street.
And so it actually waited for traffic to pass for a clear opening and it made the turn by itself.
Yeah.
That shit was.
Was there a light?
No, no, no.
Was it sun out?
Was it nighttime right now?
It was kind of sunny.
It was sunny as fuck.
It was kind of coming in at like zero.
If the sun is blasting it, that red light, that yellow light, and that green light are the same light.
Yeah, yeah, bro.
There's no way they could possibly tell.
It's got to plug into the grid.
I think it's plugged into the city's grid, bro.
If it's plugged into the grid, then it makes perfect sense.
It's got Google Maps, bro.
I'm sure it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That makes perfect sense.
Plug into the grid.
Why would you try to predict what the light is when the sun comes in?
I assume that's what it is.
I think it has backups on it.
Why do you assume that?
What if some fucking guy goes up and tapes the light?
This happens in New York all the time.
They put a middle finger on the stop sign.
Then everyone will go through it.
Say again?
How does that make it better or worse than a human?
We have eyes, dummy.
Yeah, the car is able to see when there's other cars.
What do you mean?
If a car is merging into the lane, the car will move out of the way.
We're talking about the light, Marlborough.
The light's not operating how it should.
The car is going to stop.
I thought self-driving would always be internet of things.
Every shit is not going to be.
Everybody stops.
Everybody stops.
Here's a stop.
What is it called?
A stoplight?
Yeah.
Yeah.
A traffic light?
A traffic light.
Here's a traffic light.
Okay, yeah.
Red, green, yellow.
I think that's what it is.
Okay, okay.
But I'm all bored now.
Okay.
Red, green, yellow.
Okay.
That's the order.
Sun blasting.
Yeah.
How bright.
Blasting.
Super bright.
Okay.
They try to put those little canopies on top.
They try to put the little fittings.
Sometimes the angle is too crazy, right?
All these are perfectly lit.
It's golden hours.
It's golden hours.
Exactly.
Yellow, let, green, lit, red, let.
That's confusing.
Tesla can't tell which one it is.
What's it going to do?
What is it going to fucking do, Mark?
Yeah.
Has no clue.
It's hooked up to.
What are you going to do, though?
What are you going to do if you're driving and all of them are lit up?
Because I'm not a fucking robot, Mark.
But what are you going to do?
I can tell which one's a little bit more lit.
How?
If the sun's hitting it, you can't.
I can always tell them.
You said it was perfect.
You just said it was perfect.
Human instinct.
It's not a capture.
It's not a capture.
It's a human instinct.
It's human instinct.
You said it's a human instinct.
It's human instinct.
Yo, let's say, for example, I'll give you another situation.
Bitches, let's say, for example, right?
There's a big ass truck blocking some of that light.
Oh, no.
But it's bouncing off the top of the truck, hitting, hitting, traffic bonjour.
Just the red.
Just the red.
Just the red is lit, right?
Green, yellow, completely covered, even though it's a fucking green light.
Oh, no.
And then what happens?
You get in a crash.
People die because what are you going to do when you're driving?
Red, yellow, green.
I think we got to get it.
Y'all be looking at the lights.
Okay.
Y'all said, come on, yo.
Y'all look at the lights, even.
What am I going to do?
What if you're first in line, Mark?
What do you do then?
You're first in line.
Okay.
Okay.
To do what?
You said you're going to look at all the other cars, see what they do.
You can't.
So you're first.
What do you tell?
The car chimes when the light changes green because it knows that don't say that.
We all know we're looking at our phone, and so the car's like, yo, wake up.
But the car knows better than you.
Why does the car know it's green?
Because it's on the grid.
It's on the grid.
It ain't looking.
Green, green.
Let's say, for example, six Puerto Ricans go up to the traffic side, right?
And they turn the colors different.
Oh, so it's a Puerto Rican flag instead.
Correct.
Okay.
They turn it different.
Or they cover one.
So with the yellow, they painted a little blue, made it green out of you got two green.
Now you got two greens.
What do you do then?
Self-Driving Car Trust Issues00:07:28
What do you do then?
What are you going to do as a human being?
Wait, so I'm not dumb.
In the future, you think all cars are just going to drive through cameras or they're all going to communicate with each other?
And all this, the city traffic lights, everything is on a system on a grid.
Can I tell you what I would do?
Hold on one second.
Can I tell you what I would do?
What would you do?
Okay.
I like the confidence.
I don't know where we're going, right?
But I do like the confidence.
The Puerto Ricans have completely ruined the traffic light.
Back in Puerto Ricans, it's propaganda, right?
What's going on?
The Puerto Ricans have completely destroyed the traffic light, okay?
Right?
So I pull up.
I'm like, damn, what should I do?
Yeah, what are you going to do?
It's red and green at the same fucking time.
What do I do?
Because I'm a motherfucking human from America.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
I'm looking at that motherfucking light right there.
If that light right there is red, because the Puerto Ricans were smart enough to also do it to that one.
And that light right there is red.
I know this shit is green.
I'm out of here.
Now, what if the Puerto Ricans get smart?
What if the Puerto Ricans also learn like AI?
Master, right?
What else?
Puerto Ricans.
Who else does that to the traffic light?
Yeah, who would do that?
Alex?
Yeah.
Okay.
You think it's six black guys painting it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Oh, my God.
Come on, bro.
You know who it is.
Okay, listen.
What if they're both taking?
Well, how do I do it?
How do you do it?
Slowly inch out.
A robot car can't do that.
Yes, it can.
No, it's better than a robot.
No, it doesn't.
No, it doesn't.
You think your brother the robot?
The robot never was like, is there something out there?
Never.
It just goes or it doesn't go.
A robot's never insecure.
A robot's never unsure.
It makes a decision and it goes off at the percentage.
You're better than a robot?
At most things.
Okay?
I am.
All right.
That's all I'm trying to say.
A robot is too confident.
It just goes off the numbers.
Oh, I'm 98% right in this situation.
Not I. 12 times 56.
Say again.
12 times 56.
347,000.
672.
This robot just killed you on that one.
But that just depends.
That just depends.
When do I need to multiply 12 by 6 across a light?
Well, that's your brain data.
That's unconsciously.
No, that's not a good idea.
That's what David Daddy does.
That is your first answer.
I don't need to do math to cross the line.
Your brain's doing it.
You're sitting at the bottom.
Say what?
Look at that shit.
Robot.
She's that shit robot.
You saw what the robot did.
You saw what the robot pulled.
Look at your hands.
That was just an accident right there.
You dropping a room.
Y'all see what the robot did, right?
The robot, the light went wrong.
You put the robot to sleep.
The light.
That's a good point.
Bro, say it again with your motherfucking chest, Akash.
I think the light went wrong.
The light went wrong.
Could also happen at any point in time.
The light changes, which is what robots always do.
That light changes just went off.
And then what happened to the camera?
What is the traffic light cut?
What's the other robot?
What's the chest light?
You're a traffic light.
The traffic lights are traffic.
Don't you dare say that to me.
You're a driver.
I swear to God, bro.
I swear to God, don't get me started.
I can't get off my shot.
Bro, I can't go.
I was on the bottom.
Bro, honestly, you look like a little Nas X music video.
You're about to get a little Nas X.
No, what I'm trying to say is that shit failed right there.
Robots fail.
Yeah.
Humans never fail.
That light wasn't.
When if humans ever made a bad decision, never.
Do y'all remember a time where humans made a bad decision, maybe fail?
No.
Could you possibly gain it?
I can't think of even one.
Okay, then.
That's a good point.
You want me over?
Okay, then.
I'm just saying.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
The street light, the traffic light, as you, whatever you call it, that's a problem.
That's a problem.
Cones.
It gets cones.
It does see cones.
All right.
Well, those are a little bit more self-explanatory.
Do you remember when we were driving straight and didn't pick up the cones?
We almost drove right into that bitch.
It was early.
We don't know.
It could have swerved at the last second.
We never know.
We will never know.
Ultimately, we never know.
So you're saying it's never going to be, there's never going to be a grid.
It's never plugged into a grid.
Who cares about the grid?
Show them the grid.
That's how the total thing started.
They got a grid.
They haters.
They haters.
Why would you not want to talk about the grid?
Why would you not want to be plugged into the data?
You got to have a grid.
Why would you not want to be plugged into the data?
You got to have a grid.
Say what?
The grid already exists.
Where?
In LA.
Probably L.A. Probably L.A.
Yes.
You don't think there's any organization to all this?
You think the lights go red and green whenever the fuck they want to watch?
You don't think there's somebody, you think it's somebody with a button just pushing red and green through the whole city?
No, that's what I'm trying to say.
It's a robot doing it.
No, it isn't.
It's a robot.
It's a robot.
The lights are a robot.
The car's a robot.
My uncle used to do it.
My uncle was a hard-working union man in New York, and he would push the motherfucking red, yellow, green.
Really?
Oh, my God.
Yes, he would.
Same thing with the subways.
What did he do?
You think the subways is some robots handling that shit?
What do you mean?
The subways.
It definitely takes a person to go.
Human thing, dog.
Yeah.
It's human beings at the end of the day.
If you need to get somewhere, what about the Hoover Dam?
You think that's robots, son?
Ray Canyon.
And the motherfucking Hoover.
All that responsibility they're going to give some robots, bro?
Yeah.
The Hoover?
The Hoover.
All that water.
That's the responsibility of the Hoover Dam.
To make that short ass shit damned up.
You know what I'm saying?
Come on.
This is real.
You guys gotta, you got too much faith in robots.
Learn something.
All right, Akaz, your time.
But the grid, though.
The grid is the robot I trust.
I don't trust 10 cameras to be fully self-driving all the time.
Team robot.
Let's go.
Team Robot's going to kill us all.
I believe this.
But y'all are laughing at the grid.
I'm fine.
We're going to be self-driving.
There's going to be a conversation.
Humans are better than everything.
Humans are better than everything.
You're with that.
Humans are good at everything.
Whack.
Take some shit out your fucking dishwasher when you're doing your wife's dishes and it's got some fucking quinoa still stuck on it.
That's your robots, bro.
That's your motherfucking robots.
Watch your wife's dishes, yellow.
Nah, that was you putting it on the wrong setting.
You fucking did a human rights.
You punched that place too close together and then the keyword get stuck.
Yo, I wish a robot could have figured that out.
A robot could have done it, but you packed it wrong.
No, I didn't pack it.
I'll do my boyfriend's dish.
We should have a contest for who washes better dishes, a dishwasher or a Mexican.
Oh, I bet you.
That was racist.
That was racist, bro.
Who do you think washes the dishes in other parts of the world?
Korea, China, and these parts.
Mexican.
You think that they send them all the way out there to do that?
I assume so.
Oh, that's outsourcing.
Wow, that's a big assumption.
Indians do customer service everywhere.
That's not true.
Sometimes you got some Vietnamese doing that shit.
And it's never as good.
All I'm saying is we can't make assumptions.
And y'all are making a big assumption.
Y'all playing with your lives with that.
You're playing with your lives because you're not trusting humans.
Humans done did you good.
I'll speak to you in two years when you own a Tesla watch.
I own a Tesla.
And when a robot dog tells you to go inside, robot dogs are going to be coming up on you.
Yeah, bargaining.
I don't know robot dog, right?
Because you will.
No.
Uh-huh.
No.
Watch.
What are they going to do?
Now, you're for sure going to have a robot car for sure because you don't even drive yourself anywhere right now.
I'm buying a car from back in the day when it was no robots.
Who's going to drive it?
I don't find somebody in my wife.
They don't drive.
We're going to make that shit drive.
2003.
Yeah.
This shit got to fucking drive.
Outsourcing Customer Service Assumptions00:15:01
But I'm just saying, I'm going back.
Should I make my car electric?
Put it on the grid.
Should I make it electric?
Yeah, you should.
Absolutely.
That'd be fire.
100p.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all are going bald and you don't fucking have to.
That's right.
Okay.
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Now let's get back to the show.
Infamous tour, NYC, Radio City Music Hall.
New York City, I love you.
I'm so excited for Saturday.
A week after this Saturday, we got Atlantic City and then the final shows of the tour, Vancouver, Canada.
Rescheduled dates.
We will see you up there in May.
This is crazy.
I can't believe the tour is actually coming to an end.
Love y'all.
Appreciate y'all.
And just excited to see y'all out there.
TheandrewSchultz.com for tickets.
Akash, what you got?
Guys, I am on vacation this weekend, but next weekend after that, Toronto Royal Theater.
All the tickets are sold out.
But I had set aside some comps for friends and family, about 20 of them.
I'm saying fuck them.
They don't get to come.
And I'm going to sell the tickets tomorrow.
So if you're watching this episode, I'm going to drop it right around then.
Buy the tickets now.
April 28th through 30th.
At the Bridgeport, Connecticut Stress Factory, May 12th through 14th.
I'm in Tacoma, Washington at Tacoma Comedy Club and May 19th through 21.
I'm in Holling, Holland, Muskegon, and Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Get your tickets and tickets for all the rest of my shows at akashing.com.
Now, let's get back to the show.
Also, there's one thing I want to say: I owe you an apology.
You do.
Well, you don't even know what you owe me plenty.
You don't even know what four years.
All right, go.
Let me get one out.
Okay.
So, when we were talking about Will and Jada, you were blaming Jada a lot.
Okay.
And I thought that was crossing the line.
I thought you were going OD on her.
And then new footage came out where you might be vindicated.
Told y'all.
Told y'all.
You might be vindicated.
Which play the footage.
Which sorceress.
You called her sorceress in an evil way.
She was a sorceress, right?
Sorceress.
And I thought that might be a little bit OD.
But this is the video that came out where basically Jada's filming Will on IG World.
You know, Stair Perrell is coming to the table.
She's going to be at the red table.
Would you say she has been instrumental in you and I redefining our relationship?
I would say, don't just start filming me without asking me.
Oh, my goodness.
If you could film me.
Astair, come help us again, please.
I'm still dealing with foolishness.
Don't.
No, no, she, yeah, because she don't just.
Would you say that she helped us heal the hurts that we cause between one another?
My social media presence is my bread and butter, okay?
So you can't just use me for social media and not, you know, don't just start rolling.
I'm standing in my house.
Don't just start rolling.
Please watch a stair at the red table because she's helped us a lot.
Can't you tell?
And then she came out and said she never wanted to marry him.
That was like another clip that came out.
That was wild.
Yeah.
But she was like, I was so, I regret it.
I cried on my wedding day.
The only reason I did it is because my mom wanted me to do it, blah, blah, blah.
I think the only reason they did is because she got pregnant.
She got pregnant.
Oh, yeah, that too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then she doesn't love him, yo.
The birthday, all that shit.
She doesn't love him.
So now the tide's turning.
All the comments I'm seeing on like every Will and Jada post is like, yo, it's her fault.
Like she, you know, doesn't deserve Will, blah, blah, blah.
You knew we knew that shit in 97.
It's wild corny to say social media is my bread and butter.
Why?
That line was wild corny.
My social media presence is that's what he should have said because he's protected his image forever and now there's someone on the outside having that power and influence to promote her show.
I think that's what he said.
I think it's corny for him to say that.
No, but he made it seem like social media, like he was new to Instagram and all that.
Like I think he cares more about the 30 years of I'm the biggest star in the world, social media, press, all that stuff.
It's wild corny to just videotape your husband right when you're beefing and bring up the beef.
Like she stinks.
She doesn't like him.
And I mean, she should just break up with him.
Like, yo, you don't like him.
Why are you putting him through that?
No.
It's Will needs to leave her.
Well, Will needs to leave her too, but like she also don't like him.
And she can't force him to be with her.
So if you don't like him, don't do all this stuff.
But instead, she's taking out, it looks from the outside that she's abusing him because of how angry she is that she's in the relationship.
Like she's annoyed and feels pain for being with someone that she doesn't want to be with.
So she's treating that person the way that she feels.
See what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So like leave that motherfucker.
Here's my question about that video in particular.
Everybody's pointing at that video.
To me, that's the only time I've ever seen him come close to standing up for himself.
You know, the line I liked, I'm standing in my house.
He didn't say our house.
Yeah.
He said, I'm standing in my house.
He said, don't film me.
So like, as much as I don't like her, that video, people are like, he seems so broken.
To me, it's like, that's the, if you think he's broken there, what about when he's sitting with her at the fucking red table talking about her affair and acting like, oh, yeah, no, this is cool.
I'm cool with this.
That's when I thought he was broken.
I was like, that's fucking wild that you have to sit there and justify her affair on her TV show that you pay for in your house.
So, this one you saw he was alpha?
I didn't think he was alpha, but I said for him, relatively speaking, yes.
Yes, that's what you would have done in the situation.
If I'm a guy who will slap another guy for making a joke about her and she doesn't like it, that's alpha, relatively speaking.
I see what you're saying.
You're judging him on like a Will scale.
Yes, on a will scale, that's as alpha as we've seen Will with Jada ever.
Don't just film me without my permission.
Yeah, get out of that, bro.
And I get it's different.
Like, you have children, right?
Like, children change everything.
But, like, goddamn, both of y'all don't want to be in this.
Yeah.
But for him to like overcome the situation he's in, is there a race between the two of them to get to he's gotta leave her first?
Oh, if he leaves her, everybody will blame Jada.
Like, the best thing he could possibly do with his career is leave her.
He's the biggest star in the world again.
You know, I realized that I was just in this thing that was super toxic, and I don't want to talk trash about my kid's mother.
And I still love her.
I'll always have love.
But, like, we weren't in a relationship that was bringing out the best of one another.
We were trying to, you know, manipulate our own emotions so we could keep this thing going.
But the reality is we're not right for each other.
And I wish her the best.
He comes out and says that.
We fill in all the blanks.
She's a sorceress.
She's a witch.
She made us do all this shit.
That's the person who'll go, yo, she's a sorceress.
First thing, right?
First thing.
And then he comes out with a banger of a movie.
He needs a banger of a movie as well to come out of the Fox.
Oh, no, no.
Yeah.
You got to date the right bitch after.
You got to have the right girl.
And I don't know who it is.
Who is it?
But I don't know.
I've been trying to figure this out.
I've been thinking about Will Smith.
Who's the post-divorce Will Smith with?
Well, think about his female leads.
Margo Robbie.
Margo hasn't married like Charlie.
I think he's just got to go.
Charlie Starong.
No, no, no.
Nah.
Just get a baddie that no one knows.
Bald, too.
Lupita Nuongo.
Ooh.
He was with Dandy Newton.
Nah.
Seven pounds who he was with.
Rosario Dawson.
Rosario.
Who would the Fresh Prince get with?
That's who that's who he's got to do.
Rosario.
He was with Tyra Banks on the Fresh Prince.
Oh, yeah.
Yo, give a sweetie.
That'd be fire.
So that would be fire.
Can't be too hip-hop.
Somebody, somebody respect it.
What do you mean?
He needs like a Beyonce.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Snatch Beyoncé from Jay, son?
Is that what you're saying?
No, no.
Like a Beyonce, I said.
That's a wild jade.
Did she even suggest something to Jay?
You know, they're trying to really influence you, bro.
Chill up, bro.
Check up, bro.
You know what?
Treat Beyonce like a queen is the prince.
Probably.
Probably as a woman.
Probably.
Maybe Rihanna.
He could take Rihanna.
There you go.
No, you're going to split somebody out.
Why would you bring it up?
You just had a kid, bro.
Wow, what the fuck is Rihanna?
Do we know?
This is a theory.
That was a theory.
You know what bothered me more than all this?
She made an appearance publicly without him.
She went to Shonda Rhymes, opened like an art center or something like that.
And then she went, made a public appearance without him.
It's like she thinks she's famous without him.
I think she really believes she is.
She thinks she would have still been famous.
I think she never married Will.
I think a little part of her.
Say out of your fucking mind.
She wouldn't have been as famous, but she would still be famous.
Name three Jada Pinkett Smith movies before Will.
Set it off.
If you want to know, set it off.
What else?
You've seen Wu?
You've seen fucking Woo?
I did see it.
Wasn't she a Matrix?
I did see it.
Matrix.
The after Will.
I'm telling you.
Will turn that shit down, Loki.
He did.
He did.
And then he said, hey, Jada, take my scraps.
Fucking the audacity of this girl.
She has done nothing publicly to support him since he slapped somebody for her.
You don't even have to say I support the slap.
You could say, I don't support what he did, but that's a good man.
That's my husband.
I love him.
He's misguided.
Cheated.
Hey, it's healing season.
And then leak shit to sources like, I don't need protecting.
Yeah, I think she said something like, oh, like he messed things up or some.
I saw that randomly on Twitter.
Yeah, apparently she won't let him talk about it until Red Table Talk your show, the show that he paid for for you to come on him every week.
Yeah, but then he makes money in his house.
I mean, he makes money off his show, too.
You think Will can't make money elsewhere?
You think Will needs money?
Yeah, I don't know if Will needs it.
Is he Lil Bow Wow?
Guy needs fucking money.
Why Bow gotta get a shot?
What's wrong with you?
You just shoot it at everyone.
All Bow Wow ever did was make sure people's waves was tight.
Yeah, you out here just taking shots.
Like Bow Weeze.
You just don't know.
Yeah, Mike Mike was a great film.
Nah, bro.
He was talking crazy disrespectful to Bow Wow, bro.
Hey, Bowow, I'm sorry.
I'll invite you to have my United 1K pass.
You can take flights whenever you want to.
I'll use points.
I'll get you.
I'll get you first class, dog.
I got you.
The disrespect.
I'm offering my frequent flyer miles.
He needs them.
He don't need them.
That's bow wheezy, bro.
Take Akash up on them frequent flyer miles.
You're about to find out how quick that's a joke.
I guarantee you're not giving no frequent miles.
You don't think I'll fly Bow Wow first class?
Bow out.
I got you, dog.
You're going to give him all of your miles.
Yeah.
All of them?
Okay.
You're going to have my credit card points, dog.
Come on.
I'll work hard for you.
Why are you going to make Bow Wow's flight delayed three days?
I got you a Delta flight anywhere you want to go.
Premium Plus.
Well, I hope, I really truly hope that Will can find some peace.
We want Will back.
Yes, please.
Will come back.
And then you know what?
Jada might be happier and continue to do great things with her life if they get divorced too.
I believe the first part of that, she'd be happier.
Maybe she'd be happier.
Maybe she wouldn't do good stuff.
Maybe she would.
But the point is, together, both of their careers are taking a huge hit.
And maybe apart, they'll be able to achieve the things that they've always wanted.
Yeah.
I think there should be a part.
I think it'll give Jaden some new material if his parents get divorced.
You know what I mean?
You have some shit to write about.
Next album will be a banger.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Willow's next emo album will be a fucking banger.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Both their music would probably slap more.
I'm telling you, dude, this is a win-win-win-win.
Everybody wins.
Okay, while we're talking about bullying, Mark, do you have something for us?
Yes.
This happened over the weekend.
Manchester United's star player, Christian Ronaldo, maybe one of the biggest players of all time, loses to Everton 1-0.
Oh my God, Everton.
He's like, that's embarrassing, dude.
Nah, nah, you don't get so.
You know what I'm saying?
You can't lose Everton.
You can't lose Everton.
Wait, what happened?
And people give me shits like, well, you didn't get your soccer facts off.
How?
How, motherfucker?
How do I do that?
How could I?
What did I do with Everton?
What happened?
So he's all injured, right?
He's walking out of the field.
Watch this.
So this kid's filming him.
Oh, wait.
Why is he injured?
Why are you limping, bro?
You got a slat tackle.
His legs all fucked up.
You know, it's not real injury.
Little kid's filming his injury.
Why did they put that spray on?
Smacks the kid's phone, shatters it, and bruises the kid's hand, bro.
I mean, how old is he?
Is he really a kid?
Or is he one of those like British motherfuckers that don't age?
Yeah, he's like heads blows.
Yeah, I think he's like 15 or something.
Are you sure?
And apparently, autist, right?
He's an autist.
Oh, come on with all that.
I don't know if he's tizzed out.
I don't know if he's tized out.
He's something.
He's my fan.
No, you should definitely, yeah, you should definitely look into this.
He's something.
His mom posted a picture of the bruise.
The bruise was kind of brutal.
I couldn't find it after I saw it, but it was kind of bad.
Oh, my God, a bruise.
Imagine LeBron James smacked the shit out of some kid.
Oh, he got to get some bread for that.
I need you to cough up some bread.
That's my point.
What?
A new phone and a sari?
No.
A new phone and at least 10 million.
What?
I'm a retard.
He's got to say, yo, I'm autistic now.
Yeah.
You slap onto the mirror, bro.
Real talk.
He got to come in there.
He should say he got COVID from a contact, hand-to-hand contact with Ronaldo.
What's his name?
Ronaldo.
Cristiano Ronaldo take his cat.
So we would have taken his cat.
That's Ronald Dinho or Ronaldo.
No, Ronald Dino is different.
Okay.
That's Cristiano Rodolfo.
Whatever his name is.
Young Dolpho.
Yeah, Cristiano Ronaldo is him.
And then Ronald Dino is a different person.
But Michigan should have done the players and just grab their ankle and be like, ah, try to get a red card.
That probably would have worked better for him.
100%.
So, Christian Ronaldo came out on Instagram.
What do you say?
He was like, whatever that shit he says.
No, he was like, yo, my bad, bro.
Like, I was really mad after the game, but I'll bring you out to Old Trafford to watch a game anytime you want.
Who wants to go to Old Tradford?
Manchester Stadium Name Confusion00:03:46
Come on.
What's Old Trafford?
That's where Man United play.
That's their home.
Why don't they play in Manchester?
They do play in Manchester.
Well, why do they play over in Old Trafford then?
Because that's the name of the stadium.
No, no, no.
I want New Track for Masses.
You're not taking me in Old Trafford.
Why are they playing a garden?
Why don't they play in New York?
No.
No, Mark.
I want to be on his side with that.
It didn't make any sense.
Old Trafford is an area.
No.
Isn't it not?
It's the name of the stadium.
No.
It's an area.
It's a stadium.
It's an Andrew.
I believe Andrew.
I bet you look up where he's in Manchester United.
I'm convicted about this.
If it's an area, once again, you've gotten all the soccer shit.
You know nothing about soccer.
That was a stadium.
It's a stadium in the town of Old.
Old Trafford.
Bitch, let's go.
So we let you stop in a motherfucking stock side.
You know what I got to?
The stock side is winning.
And it's an area inside.
Let's go.
Is it in Manchester?
Yes, it's in Manchester.
It's an area inside Manchester.
You just miles yourself, bro.
Don't play with me with soccer.
You don't say anything wrong.
Don't play with me with soccer.
You ain't even know.
It's an area in Manchester, not just the stadium.
Yeah, it's a bro.
It's the name of the stadium.
Oh, now you gotta try to get it wrong.
Now you're gonna try to get it.
Come on, son.
What we call where the Mets play Astoria?
I don't know what we call it.
What do we call where the fucking Knicks play?
Midtown?
I don't know where the Knicks play.
Get a real name for a stadium.
Manchester United.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Get a real name, right?
Like, you don't even got a real name for me.
Manchester City just cuck you out of that shit.
Real talk.
Just cuck you, bro.
What do they call Manchester City?
It's like City Stadium or something.
Tell them.
Or Manchester Stadium.
It's got Manchester in the name.
Robotic error.
Robotic error.
And then let's just call it what it is.
If you went off your human intuition, your gut, bro, you could have never gotten it wrong.
Yo, that's a good point.
That's why I love the New York Jets that play in New York, bro.
They do not play in New York.
I know.
They play in Jersey.
We don't call them the New York Jets.
We call them the Jets.
Stop.
That's a fact.
Nobody's ever called the New York Jets.
We just call them the Jets.
Hey, the Giants.
Jets are giants.
New York Giants.
I don't call them that.
You call them that?
No.
Do you call them the New York Knicks?
No.
Call them the Knicks.
Knicks.
I just call them losers.
That's all I call them, bro.
The worst franchise.
So do we.
Hey, news over here.
Okay.
Just like Manchester, bro.
Yeah, I'm not talking about it.
Yeah, that's fine.
Let me tell you something.
Everton?
You know who used to play for Everton, bro?
Who's that?
Who used to play for Everton?
Which American used to play?
Tim Everton?
Damn, we don't soccer out here, boy.
We don't soccer out here, a buoy.
Do you know what I mean?
Did the guy who left Bigerton go over there to Everton?
Yeah, there we go.
I want you to pronounce it right now.
No need to pronounce words correctly to be pronounced correctly.
We don't need to.
He called it Bigerton.
That sounded like he called it Bigerton.
I don't know why that sounded racist, but it sounded racist, dog.
I said Brigerton, but I'm still wrong.
I want this.
It works so well.
We don't need to, bro.
We get the pass.
We heard the years of slavery.
We get the pass.
Yeah.
Okay, guys, for real, though.
Because now that we've learned.
What have we learned?
Coach Handshake Traditions00:13:48
What are we even talking about?
Manchester plays in Manchester.
It's like soccer stuff.
Manchester plays in Manchester.
Manchester plays in Manchester.
Old Trafford.
He's still dry.
Is it area in Manchester?
Is it area in Manchester?
And also the name of the stadium.
Nope.
Nope.
No, It is the name of the stadium.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
No, it's not.
I've looked up what that stadium is registered under.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Look it up.
Look it up.
What does that mean?
Registered under.
Yeah, like what the LLC is.
The old Trafford Stadium LLC.
Okay, and what is it?
Look it up.
You'll see.
Yeah.
You'll see.
Rolling the dice on this one.
You'll see.
You'll see what it's doing.
What's the LLC?
It's under?
Yeah, I don't know.
Do they got LLCs?
What are the LLCs?
Your LLC is not your name.
That's what I'm saying.
Not yet.
That's what I'm saying.
What is it?
There's no answer on Google, bro.
Well, robots fail you again, don't they, Martin?
Robots will fail you again.
So is the kid going to sue?
I don't know.
It doesn't seem like it.
Why wouldn't he sue?
Yeah.
He was assaulted.
That's what Christiano yells also.
That's part of this.
His slogan.
Sue.
Telling him what to do.
No, but why would he not sue?
Maybe it's a different culture out there, but like he was assaulted.
Legit.
Yeah.
Like, it's not just I'm going to slap the phone.
Like, I'm going to hit your fucking hand.
Yeah.
And in the States, that's a felony because this is over $1,000.
Oh, it's destruction of property or something like that.
He's already received a million-dollar offer.
They went to him and said, name your price, please.
Quick.
You think they started at a million?
Whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, I couldn't imagine.
What a fucking idiot.
Why would he get so angry at a kid, though?
Like, you think maybe he was upset?
He thought the kids mocking him.
He wanted to kill him.
He's looking at him.
He slimping, sees someone sticking out a phone and swats it.
Fuck that, yo.
It's a kid.
But he's used to this.
It's every single game.
There's somebody with a kid.
It's pretty crazy in the same 10 days, the biggest footballer ever.
He has 425 million Instagram followers.
Really?
The number one.
And then Will Smith, same 10 days, slapping.
Yep.
And NASCAR slapping somebody.
Maybe Cristiano Ronaldo is a Scientologist.
And the phone disrespected him.
He had to slap the phone.
I let it know.
That thing on NASCAR was interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there you go.
These two dudes.
What's up, yo?
Talking shit.
What's up, yo?
Yeah, take up.
Oh, pussy, bro.
Pussy.
I mean, if you keep her helmet on, yeah, mad pussy.
That's hell.
Mad pussy.
Come on, bro.
I'm keeping my shit on.
I ain't gonna lie.
Boop, boop.
You don't throw punches and you got a helmet.
My helmet's not coming off.
That motherfucker was dumb to take his helmet off.
Say what?
That's pussy.
Why don't you drive with it off then, pussy?
Because you have the potential to get hurt.
Yeah, but you can't throw a punch.
Suzu.
I mean, it's not a punch.
I immediately do that shit.
Wow, that kid's young.
I immediately do that shit.
And that motherfucker stopped fighting too once he got popped.
Nah, they started fighting more.
They like wrestled.
He just took a wrestling.
Because I can't punch a guy who got a fucking helmet on.
Oh, wow.
Is this often happens in racing?
Did you see that?
I don't understand.
I understood why Formula One is more popular than the escrow when I looked at these cars.
How is this fun?
Oh, shit.
Like, that was kind of crazy.
Oh, oh, he's trying to kill him.
No, but that's because he was upset.
So he got upset at what the blue car, number one, did.
Yeah.
And then that was his retaliation.
But what the number one car did wasn't nearly as fucked as that.
That was way crazier.
Yeah.
His retaliation.
So for him to be so pissed after doesn't make any sense.
Where you can die?
So from what I gathered based on YouTube comment reading is this kid, Ty Gibbs, his grandfather owns Gibbs Racing.
He's also the old head coach of the Washington Redskins.
So this kid is like, people think he's like a spoiled brat.
Like your granddad owns a team.
Granddad's super respected guy, old head coach.
And they look at you like you're just not him and your granddad owns the team.
It's the only reason you're driving.
And you're just kind of like a bitch.
That's the guy that wouldn't take his helmet off when he fought.
And then he fucked him up.
It's an 18 and 19-year-old, the two of them.
I just can't believe you're respecting a dude who didn't take the helmet off, bro.
Yeah, I respect that more.
Son, he punched him, then tried to walk away, and then punched him a couple more times.
You got to take the helmet off.
He at least make it even.
It be like that.
That's corny, bro.
It'd be like that.
Son, that's respect.
Is shooting a fair one is respect on the streets, half.
You should know better.
Yeah.
If we got beef and we shoot the fair one, that's respect.
Oh, so you respect him because he doesn't respect you.
If he's giving you the opportunity for a fair one, that's a respectful move, is what I'm trying to say.
You know, on the streets of his beef.
They're not on the streets, bro.
Say what?
They're not on the streets.
It's literally the street.
Literally.
It's a street.
I mean, it's a course.
It's a road.
It's a road.
It's on the road.
On the roads, it's different.
On the roads at the mandem, it's different.
It's different.
When the mandem starts throwing punches, it's different, bro.
Yeah.
But did you like my J. Cole impression?
Yeah, J. Cole was.
J. Cole was, you know, he's kind of copying you, bro.
Yo, J. Cole is copying.
Like, he's copying.
I'm doing British accent, all of a sudden, he puts out a whole fucking British song.
Yeah, yeah.
Guy was kind of duck, Bronn.
Right?
Jason Statham was copying you.
Yo, he being copying.
Listen, his accent sounds just like you.
Son, that motherfucker, he's a dick rider, too.
Motherfucker be riding Dengles all day.
He'll fuck you up, Jason.
Yo, Jason Statham?
I think I could fuck him up.
Elbow to the top of his head, split his whole shit.
If you got a helmet, you're good, bro.
I would wear a helmet if I fought Jason Statham.
I got his helmet?
You got him.
Just so it'd be even.
Yeah, I'll wear a helmet.
I still think he'd be even.
I still think he can fight.
How tall is he even?
You gotta be wearing full-ass football pads to have a chance against Jason.
Against who?
Jason Statham's?
Why?
Otherwise, he'll just kick you in the wrist.
You know, he's an actor, right?
Like, you know, this is not real.
I assume he can actually fight, though.
Why?
Because he'd be doing all the moves.
Literally in the contract, like of hours upon hours of training that he gets.
Yes, stupid idiot.
He can't.
He don't get actually.
Fuck you.
He don't actually get hurt when he's fighting.
He just got to know what the moves, his choreography.
Training, he probably gets hurt.
How?
Nobody hitting him.
What part of the movie does he get hit?
Son, the Paul brothers were fucking YouTubers and they do a little training and out of the way.
They could fuck Jason Statham up.
Facts.
Fuck out.
You don't think the Paul brothers?
Are you crazy?
No, no.
Are you guys fucking nuts?
Because they're way bigger.
Jason Statham's a little bit more.
Yo, what's going on?
Yeah, but that's like mixed martial arts.
Do you really believe movies?
Is this like with magic and shit?
He could fight.
He actually has a martial arts background.
What is it?
What's the martial art?
Mark, Mark.
Come on.
What's the martial art?
We rolling the dice.
We rolling the dice.
I don't care why you don't.
Why you act like you don't have a laptop?
He's a purple belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
Boom.
Fuck him up.
Purple belt.
Stupid.
Purple belt?
That's the top belt.
I don't even think you learned how to choke yet.
Nah, that's the top belt.
You would think black isn't the top.
No, purple and jiu-jitsu is the top.
This guy.
Why?
I don't know.
I'm just rolling the dice.
No, it's like it's middle.
It's top.
It goes white, blue, purple, brown, black.
Wait, what did you just say?
What did you just say?
No, I mean, I said it was the top, but it's like only the third of like a lot of belts.
Yeah.
It's very middle.
Yeah.
That shit is the bottom.
Not 16 years.
You got to do 16 years of training to get it.
He was training for 16 years.
Yep.
Ain't no way.
No, no.
It's the minimum age to get the belt.
You got to be training for a year and a half.
Year and a half.
That's pretty good, bro.
Year and a half.
So he did a year and a half of martial arts training.
You fucking asshole.
I think he's done other fighting games.
No, he's a diver.
Is this a theory?
No, no, that's facts.
That's facts.
Miles.
He was a good diver.
He was a really, really good diver.
You're going to say professional that you choose the good.
Miles.
You're going out on a limb rating.
Google it.
Roll the dice.
Roll the dice.
Wow.
Get the fuck out of here, dude.
That's what he used to look like with hair?
He looks better with a shaved head.
He looks like Apollo looks like with hair.
Yeah.
You got a baud, A, though.
Okay.
I mean, dude, Al.
Good job, brother.
Diving, dude?
Yeah.
Paul Brothers will fuck him up.
Like, if you're a diver, you're not beating nobody up, bro.
100%.
Okay.
I think we got to do some feelings, no facts, guys.
How do you feel?
Do you want to just rifle through a few things?
Rifle through feelings, no facts.
All right, this is just a video that went dumb.
Let's just stab a few feelings.
Cop drops his glasses.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God, dude.
He's still shot.
Now you got to arrest him, son.
I mean, insane.
You got to arrest him.
Body.
If he was black, you would have shot him.
100%.
You think maybe I saw white cops shoot black dudes.
They just get embarrassed in the basketball game all the time.
You know what?
I'm getting my revenge one way or another.
That's it.
What else?
Even new white men can't drop.
That's exactly how it's going to go.
What else we got?
I thought this one was interesting.
This dude plays one second of the game out and then keeps him moving, but gets 300K.
So Drew Holiday had a clause in his contract.
He's a basketball player for the Milwaukee Bucks.
They said, if you play 67 games, we'll give you a $306,000 bonus.
So the team does him a solid says, you start the game, just foul somebody, and then we'll pull you out, and you'll make $300,000.
Is he injured or is there a reason why he's not playing?
I just don't want him to play the last game.
Like Luca, I'm a Mavs fan, obviously, Luca Doncich.
They played him in the last game.
He strained his calf.
So now the playoffs are in jeopardy.
The Mavs might lose in the first round for a meaningless game.
So we need you for the playoffs, but we don't want you to lose 300.
I'm not like the fuck you had a 300,000 stand-up.
I don't even know if that's a stand-up.
Yeah, yeah, I didn't know that's what it was.
Like, I don't think the organization is doing something sweet.
I think the coaching staff was like, yo, get your money.
And the organization probably signed off on it.
Like, fine.
It's not worth it.
Yeah, something this term is in the organization.
Yeah, but it's like coach.
Yo, I'm in.
Yeah, but I didn't put the things together.
Like, obviously, the Bucs are doing fine.
So he did what he had to do throughout the season to get you the playoffs.
Yeah.
You better pay him his fucking money.
100%.
You want me to hoop in the playoffs?
100%.
I'm going to go play because I'm ready to play right now.
If you want me to play the whole game, I will.
But you're going to sit me down for you.
You're not sitting me down for me.
I come here to play every single game.
You need me healthy in the playoffs.
So you're not doing me no favors here, bro.
I came ready to play.
I'm able to play.
To be fair, the organization, the coach could just say, you're not playing today.
That's more of a football thing.
But no, do not play coach's decision.
Denip CDs, you could just be that.
You're not playing.
It's my decision.
You're not playing today.
Now, then you just cause so much anger on animal.
Exactly.
So they're not going to do that.
I guess if this was made to look like the coach was doing the right thing in the wood or stand-up organization, like, nah, my man balled out, got you into the fucking playoffs.
You need his ass in the playoffs or else you guys aren't going to win.
He could have said, I'm going to sit down and you're still going to pay me my money, bitch.
And they would have.
Like, I hate this little PR spin.
Like, oh, the owners of the team are fair and good.
No, I don't believe owners are ever fair and good.
It's much cooler in the NFL where, like, Brady has to throw another.
Even though the team is saying, don't do it.
And they're like, nah, get his ass out there.
We're going to get you a check.
Like, because that does happen in the NFL.
Like, if a team is losing, they'll be like, no, don't let him hit his bonus.
It happened to Gronk.
Yeah.
You saw what happened with Gronk.
No, what happened with Gronk?
Oh, Brady made sure he got his bonus.
Oh, really?
He just threw to him, even though the players weren't for him.
He needed like seven catches, or I don't know how many catches, but he needed a certain amount of catches and yards to get to his number.
Got to the number, sat him down.
Yo, Brady.
Yeah, he's the man.
Jordan would never do that shit.
Jordan would do what would allow his team to win.
So he wouldn't do that exactly.
So would Brady.
All right, what else?
Yo, I just want to point out that a lot of people miss handshakes.
But did you see this?
This is interesting.
How did him, bro?
Yo.
So he makes Bro get up out of his seat.
Ken Bazemar.
He moves him.
This is fucked.
Daps up, everyone.
The dude he just moved.
See you.
Come on.
Coor guy.
I felt like it was deliberate.
Am I wrong?
Am I, yeah, this is a little blurry, this shot, but it seems like he had to have seen that hand.
It was like, nah.
I think he dapped him up on the shoulder.
Like he just gave him a little pat, and I think that was his acknowledgement.
That's what I seemed like to me.
I don't think he was that person.
And LeBron's so aware of his presence.
Like his, you know, he knows the cameras are always on him, so he's going to do the right thing.
And that'd be rude to like leave your boy hanging.
Motherfucker has his own handshake for everybody on the team.
That's true.
He loves doing handshakes.
It's a favorite thing in the world.
So yeah, I don't know.
I will say he didn't miss that handshake nearly as great as Mark.
The funniest miss handshake in history when he misses it and then just snaps.
So good, dude.
Yeah.
There's a lot of ways to handle it.
There's a lot of ways to know.
There's a black way where you kind of dab yourself, and there's a white way you just kind of finger.
There's a lot of ways to do it.
What else we got?
You want to talk about UFC?
Ooh, or maybe we talk about UFC on the episode that's going to come out Thursday because we might have a little special somebody here who can break it down for us.
Okay.
That might be a good idea.
So why don't we hold all the UFC talk for the professionals?