John Cena and Andrew Schulz dissect China's economic leverage over Hollywood, arguing that foreign box office revenue forces studios to appease Beijing regarding Taiwan. They analyze racial dynamics in casting, critique Liz Cambage for fat-shaming a coach, and debate Olivia Rodrigo's "female school shooter" lyrics. The conversation shifts to celebrity gossip involving Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, conspiracy theories about Jeffrey Epstein, and skepticism toward Neil deGrasse Tyson's dismissal of UFOs. Finally, they discuss Jeff Bezos' failed $10 billion NASA contract against SpaceX and Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot's alleged performative wokeness, suggesting political maneuvering often masks genuine policy failures. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Tesla Truck Lease Drama00:14:34
I need to see Elliott's impossible meat.
I need to see Caitlin's Impossible Meat.
Go home.
That fucker dude just because he got AD.
Debil Dabel, Pakistani, Debil Dabel.
Hitting the stun.
On your birthday.
And I came in and saved the day.
Shoals saves Alex.
I saved Alex.
Alex was a bump.
Asshole Army, what's up?
The Kings have returned to the city.
We are here back in New York.
If you're watching on YouTube, please check out the new studio.
Hit that wide shot.
Hit that wide shot.
Okay, Al, do what you were doing earlier.
Show off your fucking sneaker.
Al got a six-inch space to show off how his sneakers match his hat.
Oh, you meant these?
Oh, these are things.
I just pulled these out of the closet.
Stay in the wide.
Fuck around.
Knock that shit over.
Jody's making egg and cheese.
We're here, baby.
It's your boy Sheltze.
We got Arkash Sing, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, the truffle.
Shit, even Miles and Vala are watching in.
And it's time to begin this episode.
I know there's a lot that we have to talk about.
Technically, we didn't miss a week, but we were kind of off a week.
We pre-tanked some episodes.
So we didn't talk about a lot of dope shit.
But one important thing that we have to do, and we have to have this discussion right now, and it might tank the rest of the episode, but I'm very excited for it.
Is somehow the truffle managed to truffle the untruffleable.
Somehow.
I like it.
He's on the ropes.
If we see Dove's legs shaking in the wide, you know for a fact he's on the ropes.
Okay.
The truffle, I don't know how this is possible because the untruffleable is Arkash.
He's Indian.
You can't beat him in any negotiation.
Okay.
Dove somehow brought a Tesla all the way out to Miami.
I said we're ready to go out.
You know how Homer Simpson disappears into the bushes?
Exactly.
Go to the wide.
This is how I was going to get out of every conversation.
Just slide.
Okay.
So, Dove, while he's doing a million fucking things, I don't know how this guy does it.
His multitasking game is on a million.
This guy brought a Tesla out to Miami from Los Angeles.
He just bought a Tesla, right?
He lugged it out there, bro.
Made all this.
He made all this money from the Netflix.
Amazing amounts of money.
Some would say paid too much for his role on Netflix, right?
Some might say that.
Maybe not me, but some might, right?
Many people have said it.
Maybe I mentioned it, but it has been said before.
And he used that money and bought a spanking new Tesla.
I mean, unbelievable, right?
Didn't pay for the auto drive, but that's fine.
Yeah, that's right.
That's a Honda, right?
That's a maximum man.
He got a quiet Honda.
I think you used that brand deliberately?
I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to be honest.
I didn't use Honda deliberately.
So if you don't pay for the auto drive in your Tesla, do you have a Honda?
No, but you guys can also add that shit later.
Tell them what you were doing.
Tell them what you were.
When he was driving girls around Miami, that shit was mad, but he'd hit the screen like it was auto drive and then drive with his knee, bro.
And this guy's on another level.
These bitches had no clue, bro.
They had no clue.
He's driving around just with his knee and thigh the entire time.
Like, oh yeah, this auto drive is amazing.
Autopilot, though, it has autopilot.
It does.
But you but it doesn't have drive by itself because you weren't going to pay for it.
Cruise control.
Every car is cruise control.
If we talk about cruise control, it's got power windows.
It has power windows.
It has windshield wipers.
We got a roof.
It's crazy.
So the headlights just turn on.
Okay, so Dove had this Tesla, which he got.
I'm going to say how you got it out there.
This is an amazing truffle.
This guy's unbelievable amounts of truffles.
Didn't he ship it?
Oh, he did ship it with the Armenian Express.
He shipped it out with the Armenian Express.
Okay?
How did you get it out there, Truffle?
He turkey decided to go.
The heart.
I'm like, just the car, someone's going to pick it up and ship it out.
He's like, Dove, really love to drive.
Boyfriends.
He wanted to drive his mom's boyfriend to drive the car out himself.
Wait, what?
Keep in mind, this is.
This is respect.
No, no, but this is a Tesla.
You know, he didn't splurge for the big battery.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
He drove from LA?
From LA to Miami.
With the standard battery, you stopping every two hours.
He stopped every two hours in America.
Across the whole continent?
Oh, and it took him two months.
It took him two months.
It took him longer to get from LA to Miami than it took him to get from Hungary to Los Angeles.
This guy spent more time immigrating his ass to Miami for no reason.
But did he have a Tesla in Hungary?
No, I gave him a Tesla.
He got to the country.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know if he loves your mom or things are rocking.
Like, I don't know what.
He's like, whoa, two months to get out of the house?
Two months away from your mom's.
That's amazing.
Or I love your mom so much that I'll do anything for her son.
So, okay.
Aka is still going, where are we going with Tesla?
I didn't even contribute.
He's just like, how the fuck I got Truffle and I didn't even know.
Okay.
So, so.
Get to it.
Cut the fact.
Cut the fact.
Okay.
Okay.
You tried to blame me.
You said there was a dent in the Tesla.
And you tried to blame me.
Oh, we're not even there yet.
God damn it.
You don't even know.
He's getting a dinged up on the road.
He's getting a dinged up.
Can't do it.
Hey, hey, where's my fucking A, bro?
You got the light.
No, no, no.
Let's wrap that shit up.
How dare you blame me for this?
Hold on.
Hold on.
So, so the Tesla pulls up, right?
After the whole journey across.
So the car that you're getting is going across a whole United States of America.
Very long.
That's fine.
Very long trip.
That's fine.
Okay.
So it comes with a ding.
It comes with a ding on the side of it.
Right?
Just dinged up.
Baby dinged.
Baby ding.
That marked it.
That marked it.
Be honest.
I thought you shipped it.
And I was like, oh, maybe I did do it.
If I had known a fucking cab driver was pulling it across the country, like, that's how you know he don't love your mom.
He's like, fuck the side of this car.
I'm not using a blink of a shit.
Mark crashed the U-Haul the day one of Miami.
You've been in the car with him.
That was true.
You were an idiot for that.
But you're deflecting.
He's doing hot potato.
We got to stay on topic because Akash is sweating right now.
It's not because of the performance fleece.
Okay.
It's because he's about to get fleeced by Tuff and he had no fucking clue.
The off-white fleece.
The off-white fleece.
He probably got the debt in it because the guy thought it had to auto-drive.
He put that shit on.
Yeah.
Yo, what the fuck are you doing into me?
Yo, you cheap bastard.
You sent that motherfucker across America with no auto drive.
You tried to kill him.
The only reason he agreed to drive it across America is because he thought he was going to use all the drugs.
You're not going to pay $10 a month.
He's an autopilot.
It does the same thing.
It doesn't.
It does.
Oh, I'm already sweating.
I love this.
Okay.
So, so, so.
Dude's driving 94 miles per hour.
I don't think auto drive works at 90.
He was racing at times.
Trying to earn my love at times at 90.
You wouldn't know if he had it.
It's at 90.
1090.
Damn.
All right.
So, so the car gets across.
He's there for one month with the car.
He finds out we're moving back to New York.
Yeah.
We're moving back.
He's moving to New York for the first time.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
He's moving to New York for the first time, right?
He still got an apartment in LA.
Yeah.
Okay.
He guilted me.
He's going, but my father has to say somewhere.
Your father got to go back to Morocco.
I don't know what to tell you, bro.
It's a very nice house.
How many thousands of square feet?
It's too much.
It's too much.
Okay.
So, love him.
Shouts to Michelle.
Shouts to Michelle.
This poor Hungarian man flies back.
He drives a car for a month.
He goes, how do I get rid of this car?
I need to get somebody to take over my lease.
Trying to get someone to take over.
He's asking all his family members.
All of them say no because they already know the truffle.
They know the game.
It's like something's wrong with this car.
Right, right.
There's some kind of situation here.
I'm not taking over your lease.
I'm not going to help you out.
You try to get everybody to do it, right?
Obviously.
Obviously, everybody do it.
Everybody, right?
Somehow he convinced Matthew at Ampersand Studios to let him just store the car there.
What?
The car is just being stored at the Ampersand Studios.
Shout out, Matthew.
Shout out, Matthew.
It's unbelievable.
The amount of truffles we go in the parking lot in the parking lot.
Yeah.
This is why no deals are being done.
Okay.
This is why we got no fucking deals being done because this guy's working nine to five on figuring out this car.
And then one day you come and you tell me that Akash is going to take over the lease.
Yeah.
How in the fuck?
This is remarkable to watch.
Oh, it was me.
Me and Mark.
You were there?
That's our whole thing.
Oh, my God.
There's a car.
Tell me the audio.
Fill it in.
Y'all hit it.
Tell me.
All right.
So I think the way you start off is, Akash, you want a Tesla?
And Akash immediately was like, yeah, I would love a Tesla.
I think that's how you started, right?
Is that fair to say?
I don't think that's true.
We keep it.
No, He's like, yo, Akash, you would be stupid not to take this.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So first knocks him.
It was so familiar.
Then he pulled back a little once Oshcock gave some resistance.
What'd you say?
What'd you say?
Because Akash knows that something's up.
He goes, oh, no, there's a truffle.
The deal's too good to be true.
I just said, well, I was like, don't do that to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't do that.
Don't do that to me.
Don't do that.
I get it.
Like, I'm stupid to not take it.
Fine, I don't care.
Get to the numbers.
And then you said, if you can't afford the payments, that's fine.
No problem.
But I just need to know now because I have someone else.
No, you didn't.
You hit him in the pockets?
You hit him in the pockets?
That's crazy.
I took advantage of like, he was talking about this gorgeous new apartment that he has in New York.
Once you're already out of pocket that much on your girl's stunning place, I'm like, this is how it was.
No, in all honesty.
This is how you know the apartment is good when she's posing moving day.
That's usually people's most stressful day.
She was posing that shit with pride.
It just didn't make sense.
He had that apartment with the car that he currently has.
You sound attacked.
You gotta shut on the Honda slander, bro.
But let's be honest, he did say, like, you're gonna put your girl in this beautiful apartment with a metro card.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then, and then with that, what happened?
Yeah.
Well, I also said, like, your new high-end apartment must have a Tesla charger there, too.
Oh, he did say, yeah, oh, my God.
He's roping you, and you don't even know it.
I know.
And this is where I got it.
Akash knows that I can get a deal.
So basically, you're taking over a lease that's under that.
But I'm also, but I got it.
I worked for that deal.
I almost got roped in.
I was believing it was a story, but it's still in trouble.
You're picking up on it a little bit more.
Tell me.
This is the real.
You're really getting this.
Keep getting them, Dubb.
Keep getting them, though.
It was the fairest exchange.
It's fair.
Okay.
If Eric Dove got screwed.
Yeah.
How did you get work?
I'm telling you clearly.
If I wasn't in this fucking city that charges for every, we have to go over a bridge.
We have to pay $20 to park for a coffee.
What bridge you got to pay over?
What bridge?
One of the bridges?
No.
The tunnel.
The tunnel.
Yeah.
But you got to go.
It's a tunnel, a bridge.
The tunnel's a tunnel.
You want to go underneath the water for free?
How much does it cost you?
How much does it cost?
Underneath water for free.
No.
What type of baboon would go underneath the water for free?
I don't want to trust the free.
Say what?
I got to pay to go underneath the water.
I don't trust you if I'm not paying.
I'm not trusting if I don't pay.
You can pay me to go underneath the water.
Anyway, get to the point.
I'm just saying.
I didn't need the car here.
Actually, no, you guys go ahead and review.
Your girl drives to Philly.
You drive everywhere for show.
Oh, yeah.
The next round is he came around with the numbers.
So he broke down the numbers and like how much you could sell the car for.
And then Aka got his calculator out.
That was me.
Once he got the calculator out, it was over.
It was over.
It was over.
He knew it.
He sold himself up on it.
That was a Jewish Indian combo that I liked.
Yeah, so here's what I do just out of curiosity.
Did you have a hunch that it was going to be I didn't have a hunch who's in that shitty Tesla, bro.
It'd be hunched over driving.
I wish we did some crunching the numbers before.
That would be pretty nice if we weren't going on hunches back in the day.
Hey, man, remember when you bought a Michael Studio for six figures?
The hunch that we're changing the future podcast.
Can I tell you the nerf guard?
Can I tell you?
Can I tell you how much cheaper that was?
I can't even go.
That's a fraction of a Bitcoin that Michael Studio.
A fraction of a Bitcoin.
You, and after I did it, I didn't go, let's buy more.
That's what you did.
You bought a Michael Studio, and then you say, oh, it's not working.
Buy two Michaels six.
Buy three, buy four, buy five.
You know what this is?
I'm doing the weight of hands.
Keep buying more.
Raise the level.
That's it.
I've never wanted crypto to plunge more in my entire fucking life.
I've never wanted it.
I would gladly lose all the money just to see you sweat.
Okay, go back to this.
Go, So, Dove, I have Dove give me the payments.
Yeah.
And I do the calculation.
I'm like, all right, it's going to cost about like 13K to have it for these years.
Yeah.
Then I realized I could sell my car for probably like 11.
So I'm like, I could wait a few years and then sell it down the road and then get a Tesla.
Or I could just have a Tesla for like $2,500, $3,000.
I got an instant offer for $10.30 from CarMex.
So I'm like, I could just take that, have a Tesla for 3Gs for three years.
Why don't we just do that?
Let's just live a little bit.
I didn't think it was the sharpest financial move, but I was like, is 3K essentially for a Tesla for three years?
Let's do that.
And then Dove said that he had to sign a $2,000 lease signing thing that he's going to lose out on, right?
And then basically he told Akash, he's like, I'm basically that I don't.
I don't know, basically when you make $3,000.
I paid the down payment on a car and he's not absorbing that.
He's just paying a clean low monthly option.
He's fucking raping you right now.
I'm just wondering, you've got six months till your Porsche comes.
Why didn't you want to take the Tesla?
Because he didn't trust the truffle.
You didn't trust me?
That's a good point.
I don't want to do it.
You trust me with everything.
I was going to have a documentary.
I'm trying to get older cars.
I'm not trying to get the new fancy shit.
I want to go old.
I got a down payment on the Tesla.
What are you talking about?
I got a down payment on a Tesla.
Yeah, you got payment on the Cybertruck.
That's true.
That's a truck.
That's true.
That's different.
That's also a camping vehicle.
If I want to start camping in the future, that's why I'm going to take the camp.
That's for me being in touch with nature, bro.
Don't try to act like I'm not nature.
He's an environmentalist.
I love Mautic, bro.
I'm going to Tesla.
You know what I'm saying?
And also, I need a car to save for my girl.
Yep.
My girl needs a truck.
She needs a truck.
She needs a truck, bro.
That's it.
She don't want that truck.
She hates that fucking truck.
You really hate that truck.
Paying Up Front For Old Cars00:12:50
They really hate that.
She hates that truck.
Hey, hey, hey, buy yourself one, boy.
Oh, my God.
Cut that part.
Anyway, so who do we think has won this truffle?
I think it's perfectly fair.
Thank you.
You think it's a fair trade?
100%.
I was just a little jealous because he has a Tesla with the trunk button that doesn't close automatically.
Oh, you saw me do that.
You got the old one.
You got to get out.
You got to get out the OG Jordan.
This motherfucker got retrospective.
God, Al, don't let me find out you got the old Tesla.
I can't look like that in that car.
I've been in that car.
That's so humiliating.
Why would you get in that?
You know how that feels for me?
What if someone saw me?
And you wanted 2021?
I'll let you drive it because nobody else can.
It can't drive itself.
So I'll let you drive it.
Now, did Dove tell you the thing about how you can't get the monthly drive by itself?
Yeah, he told me that.
I got to pay for that up front.
And I was like, that's fine.
I don't have to have that.
My next Tesla, I'll get it.
You guys are going to be returning.
This motherfucker bought a Tesla where you can't even drive it.
That's the point of the car.
I'm telling you.
It's unbelievable, bro.
Your girl's going to be taking trips to the business, but it's not worth 10K for three years because I'm not going to keep it for three years.
To me, it's just $3K for three years.
I'll save essentially that much in gas.
So, you're paying just for the tea in the front.
So, get a leaf.
Nah, it's a newer version of like it's a newer car, too.
That's got $5,000.
My car gets $75,000.
But what's new about it?
Like, it's got the same amount of electric babies.
It's electric, baby.
It's massive cars right now.
That shit dumb fast.
A lot of electric cars, bro.
Get electric definitely.
What are you talking about?
You know what I'm saying?
You get in the shit that's supposed to drive by itself and it don't even drive by.
You go on the L-train.
You're on the L-train.
You guys have drive that too?
All right, guys.
I'll buy the self-driving.
I'll buy the self-driving.
Fuck.
What do we want?
You have to buy the self-driving.
That's a no-brainer.
All right, I'll buy it.
It's done.
Duh.
Hit him.
Hit it.
He looks so juicy.
No, but he didn't.
But here's the thing.
You can't.
Wait, hang on.
No, I can buy it.
I could pay $10,000 all at once.
What?
You can talk him into anything.
This is what happened.
This is why we in debt.
This is why we in debt.
This is why we in debt right now.
Who in debt?
Who in debt?
We.
We is in debt.
We are in crypto debt.
I'm looking at my crypto and I'm like, fuck.
Wait, hang on one second.
How come when we were up, it was you that was up?
And then now that we're down, it's we that's down.
I never refer to y'all with money.
We are in debt right here.
Y'all are fine, okay, with your little peanuts that you be throwing at that.
Miles walking in the room.
I put $30 into Dogecoin.
Shut your mouth with your $30.
Ain't nobody want to hear about your tens of dollars that you're investing daily.
Hey, bro, this peanuts are.
Robin Hood don't even want your money.
It's steal from the rich, give to the poor.
It's peanuts for you, baby.
Say what?
I like peanuts.
He said, peanuts.
I'll buy you some.
Hey, hey, you finna get some almonds.
You can say cashews.
These peanuts are going to grow into motherfucking macadamias.
Can I ask you?
Can I ask y'all a serious question?
Do you know how much work it takes to get a singular cashew?
It's a lot, apparently.
Bro, that makes me feel worse than farm fishing.
Or like, you know, like killing animals, like killing cows for meat and shit like that.
The amount of work it takes.
One nut per plant.
What?
You didn't notice?
No.
I thought it'd be a bunch of them motherfuckers.
The thing grows and a singular nut comes out of the plant.
And I think it takes a while.
Look up cashews.
Look up how you get a one single cashew.
That's why them shits are so expensive.
He should be way more honest.
He's got cash in the name, bro.
That's shit.
That's a good point.
Let me check this out.
Anyway, you look that shit up.
I didn't want to derail from this.
My point is: do you think that you're getting hustled?
Do you think you got truffles?
I didn't think so.
Well, slightly.
I didn't weather.
If he's ever happy with a deal, know that you've got truffles.
Yeah, yeah.
No.
So I didn't weigh whether or not he was winning a deal.
I was just like, will I be happy with what I'm doing?
You can't beat this guy in a negotiation.
So I'm like, fine.
Will I be happy with paying 3K for a Tesla for three years?
Yeah, I'm good with that.
How do you feel looking a guy in the face knowing that you fucked him?
I didn't fuck him.
All I know is like the deal's not even signed yet, and you're just convincing him out of this whole thing.
Because that is what makes fun.
This is what he is doing.
I'm going to be honest.
Can I be honest?
How uncomfortable he's making me?
Now I'm thinking I don't trust you anymore.
I don't know.
Why you get so mad at Andrew just now?
Why you get so mad at this side?
Yo, I'll burn the place down if that deal falls through.
I feel all dumb running all around New York getting different pieces of furniture that we don't even use on the goddamn podcast.
He rolled in here today with plants.
This city's hard.
Motherfucker about fake plants in an Uber.
That's self-driving.
That's driving right there.
What?
Oh, yeah.
Uber's a self-driving.
Did you think about that?
That's a good point.
You could have just Uber.
You live in the city now, boy.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
No, this deal might be off the table.
Yo, how much does it cost for parking?
That's dumb expensive.
We were going to pay for that either way, though.
I also calculated that.
Oh, because you're replacing your old car.
I'm replacing one car with another.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be calculating sometimes.
Damn, son.
A car in a city?
It's still probably cheaper to Uber.
Yeah, it might be cheaper to Uber.
What are you talking about?
This little lot of money.
I'm going to let it shine.
This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.
This little light of mine.
I'm going to let it shine.
Let it shine.
Sorry, dog.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because your dicks are not performing as well as they should, and we can fix that immediately, okay?
Blue Chew is not a game.
It's not to be messed with.
It's not to be played with.
Okay?
It's to be utilized and it's to deliver the best dick of your life.
This is what we do.
We swear by it over here.
Same active ingredients.
It's inside Seattle.
So Viagra, but it's the chew, and it's the only way that we get down.
Simple as that.
Your girl deserves it.
Ladies, you deserve it.
So get your man to pop one and have some fun for a weekend.
Okay.
Your wife deserves it.
Your side chick deserves it.
Whoever is there deserves it.
And fellas, frankly, you do too.
So go to bluechew.com.
Make sure you use the promo code flagrant and you're going to get it for free.
All you got to do is pay $5 shipping to have the best dick of your life.
Are you kidding me?
Bluechew.com.
Promo code flagrant.
Go do that right now and then do what you need to do.
And let's get back to it.
Okay.
Let's talk about some other shit, man.
I want to talk about the John Cena thing, but Mark has a really funny joke about it.
So we have to navigate the joke.
You just do it.
I don't want to step on your thing.
I'll try to put it out like tomorrow or something.
Okay, fine.
As long as you think you'll get it out there.
I thought we just had Mark do the joke.
No, thank you.
Oh, the way you do it for comics, not like...
Hey, you're going to do the burden.
Tell me what you're ruining.
I don't want to ruin a thing.
I don't want to ruin the thing.
But okay, but so John Cena had this thing where he basically had to apologize to China for saying that Taiwan was a country.
And he's basically doing it in Mandarin.
Did you see the apology?
I have seen it.
The apology, but he's doing it in Mandarin, bro.
That's so funny.
Yeah.
So he's apologizing to them in Mandarin.
And obviously, this is going to piss Americans off.
And if we're talking about really why we're pissed off, it's because we feel China coming.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, if I'm being honest, if you could puck out John Cena.
Yeah, that's a big cuck out, bro.
I've been telling you.
What?
I've been telling you.
What, that China's coming?
Yeah.
You've been saying he's going to side with China like they want his black ass.
Yo, that's a good point.
Yeah.
China don't like black folks.
When it starts, they're going to want numbers.
Actually, no, that's a good point.
China starts to come up with a lot of people.
You're going to have 11% of the population.
You don't even got...
And you commit half the murder.
No, no.
Statistically, let's just look at the numbers.
Ben Shapiro.
Did we get that right?
Ben Shapiro don't want no smoke with China, right?
No, why is he calculating some shit there?
Take that.
No, no, no.
Who's taking that?
I don't know.
I was hoping one of y'all run with it.
We can talk out.
Keep in it, probably.
All right.
But so John Cena's out there.
And, you know, it's always fuck China.
But, and then we're going to go into some other shit later about that.
But what was interesting about this one is that this one really hurt because you've really seen a dude get like bent over to apologize, right?
And the reason he had to do it is because he's out there promoting the new Fast and the Furious movie.
Right.
And because there's no DVD sales, the way that movies make up those sales is from foreign box office.
Before, I guess they didn't really give a fuck about foreign box office that much.
But now, since you lost so much money from no DVD sales.
And the year of pandemic.
And the year of pandemic, obviously you're not going to make no money because people aren't going out to movies like they were, which I haven't lately, and it's lit.
And Fast and Fusion is huge out there.
It's way bigger.
Bro, they made a whole movie in Tokyo.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It's massive out there because action movies are so easily translatable.
Yeah, you don't need comedy doesn't do well international.
You know, it does, though.
Accents and stuff like that, they do.
But car crashes, these types of things are so easy to translate.
Same way we love their kung fu movies.
Exactly.
Any type of action, you could run it back over here.
So, boom, it works perfectly.
And I bet the theater or the not the theater, it's called the production company, the studio, the studio.
The studio is probably going to lose hundreds of millions of dollars.
I think China only lets in a certain amount of movies a year, too.
How many?
They only let in, I don't actually know the exact number, but it's small.
It's like 15 to 20 foreign movies a year.
Yeah, maybe American movies, but fair enough.
So if you're one of those movies, you get access to 1.3 billion people.
And they have to review it.
They go through this whole process.
And they make you edit it.
There's certain scenes they'll make you cut that shit.
They control the emotional stuff.
Exactly.
But China figured some shit out.
They figured out that the way that you control America is with greed.
We are so fucking greedy, we will do anything for money.
Anything we'll sell our own souls for fucking money is absolutely disgusting.
And they finally got money.
We let them get some money.
We had them making all our fucking toys and shirts and all this shit until they got enough money to start abusing us.
And that's how it's a new form of like economic colonialism.
And I think we were the starters of that shit, low-key.
Like we were the biggest buying power in the world.
And then all of a sudden they're like, oh, that buying shit.
Economic colonialism.
Excuse me is a great term.
But I bet it's been coined before, right?
Yeah.
That's always sold out.
That's always sold all the South America, Central America.
That's what we did.
Yeah, we go into the leaders.
We go, yo, do you want a ton of money?
Sell out your country's resources.
So it sucks.
If we're being honest about it, we feel China coming, and that's why it stings a little bit more.
Like if another country was like, yo, if Honduras came to us and they were like, yo, you recognize El Salvador, don't recognize El Salvador.
And John Cena was like, yo, Lo Ciento, El Salvador, no existe, blah, blah, blah in the Spanish, we'd be like, no shit.
It definitely don't exist.
But the fact that it's the guy who's on your heels stings a little bit more.
I'm going to defend John Cena a little bit.
Go, go.
I think that's the argument.
Go this.
When you're the star of a movie, the number of people that you're responsible for is crazy.
Think about the crew, the other actors who are less famous than you, less starring roles than you, the fucking editors.
It's like thousands of people involved in a project.
You slip up one time and then your bosses are saying, yo, you're fucking up a thousand people's money.
You can make these people, most of whom you actually know and touch on an everyday basis, better by just saying sorry.
I can 100% you've seen me be like, all right, man, let me fucking apologize.
That's a bunch of people I don't know.
That's how they're going to guilt you because they're like, look at all the key grips that make a living.
Look at all the sounds people make.
To be honest, you pay a day rate.
Exactly.
They've already been paid.
But what about the next one?
And blah, blah, blah.
What is interesting is John's probably got movies about to come out and deals already been signed.
And John is not going to be in some like romantic theatrical experience.
They already have Channing Tatum, which is basically just.
It's just less steroids than John Cena.
So he's basically looking.
I imagine they're like, yo, fam, every one of the movies you make could be in China.
If you don't apologize, you're not going to get none of that Chinese money.
And the studio might go, we can't pay $200 million from a movie.
If we're not going to get $100 million from China, we can't finance your films.
And China holds grudges.
This is the other thing I didn't realize.
Like, this is every Kung Fu movie, right?
A motherfucker disrespects him 100 years later.
100 years later, he'd be training for that shit.
And then he goes fucks up the great grandson.
But grudges is their shit.
It's crazy.
In the phrase.
Even the bitch in the ring.
The well.
Remember that bitch in the well?
Call the grudge or some shit like that.
Yes.
China Money And Apologies00:15:21
Right?
They stayed in the house, parasite.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
They just stay in the house tight about that shit.
Their grudges is their shit.
That whole movie was that.
Yeah.
They've been plotting to take over America since the opioid crisis.
That's what I was talking about, bro.
They're doing the fucking movie.
Sleeper sales.
The opioid crisis?
Parasite.
Parasite.
Did you use that part of the in the in the joke about like how China, the like we trying to see Asians is different, but China's like did you use it or not?
I tried it, yeah.
Did it work or yeah, yeah, okay, you cut it out?
Can we say it now?
Yeah, please.
I was like, here we are looking racist if we don't know the difference between different Asian people, and China's like it's all Asia, it's all China.
Like, Taiwan is China.
Like, next time I get somebody says I'm racist because I call an Asian Chinese, I'm like, I'm doing what China wants.
Yeah, okay, I'm out here trying to get my fucking podcast deal with Huawei.
What is Tibet?
What even is Tibet?
Yo, why does China want shitty land so much, bro?
It's just, I guess, just a move, right?
It's like manifest destiny for them.
Yeah, that's their manifest destiny.
They don't even have God to front on it with.
That's true.
They don't need to front on anything.
They are God.
Isn't that fucked up?
At least we had the excuse.
It was like, no, God is telling us we got to be in Cali.
Sorry, Mexicans.
Like, that's way better.
That's atheist.
I mean, can you imagine an atheist, an agnostic cult leader?
Come on, bro.
Let's just drink Kool-Aid because it seems fun.
You die for the fucking screw that, bro.
That's why it's fucked up.
You got to have God compelling you to do some fucked up shit.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Dove.
The mob?
Nope.
Nope, Vala.
Vala.
You know what I'm saying?
Dub, Vala.
Y'all want to just fight it out right here?
Yeah.
Fight it out right here.
What?
Hey, Dub, you know what I mean?
We can do this.
You know what I mean?
Pakistani.
Oh, that's right.
I'm with you.
Yeah, who do you side with?
Brown people.
Because Vala's Muzzy.
Brown people.
Vala's Muzzy, but Dove is John.
Dove is not as brown as but if it was accurate right now, like Vala would just have rocks and Dove would have a rocket launcher.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, so it wouldn't be fair.
It wouldn't be fair.
But Vala would probably play his rocket launcher for a couple thousand dollars.
Once that shit has some dings in it, you could definitely.
Once he ain't needed no more, once he developed a way better rocket launcher, he gave that shit.
He got avoid that shit perfect.
Y'all got some rocket launcher.
You gotta throw like a rock.
Yo, but don't sleep on Vala because he probably got a cave with some motherfucker hiding in there.
He could definitely fly some planes into whatever shit.
He's Pakistani guys, if you were wondering.
Yeah.
Okay.
We got all cultures on this podcast.
Yeah, we're doing it.
Just so we can get the jokes off.
Yeah, yeah.
Literally, everybody fills a quota so we can make fun of everybody, and then it works out.
But it's mutually assured destruction.
We need an Asian intern.
I was about to say we need a woman, then we said jokes.
Nah, nah, nah.
We got to get a girl in here, man.
What happened to Taylor, bro?
You're asking us.
Why y'all stop fucking with Taylor, bro?
What do you mean?
Oh, don't say y'all.
I thought Taylor was here the whole time, bro.
That's Taylor.
You thought that was Taylor?
Yeah, he's close enough.
He's womanly.
He's sitting in the same chair.
You know what I mean?
Dove is feminine.
Dove is kind of our woman, bro.
Yeah, he's 49% gay.
So he's 49% gay, multitasking, extraordinaire.
Oh, son, bro.
Talks.
You're a sucker for whatever he does.
Tells you what the fuck to do, and you just do it.
Cleans up after these fucking actors.
That's true.
He's super.
Cleans up after us.
I don't want anybody saying we don't have a female presence on this show.
Don't ever disrespect Flagrant 2 podcasts like that.
All right.
We got everything covered.
We really got everything covered, bro.
What?
What are we missing out?
Nah, we got it.
So we're missing an actual Asian Asian, but you're Asian enough.
I'm sure.
That's true.
That's true.
Nah, we need it.
In England, we need an actual Asian.
We need actual Asian.
He ain't Asian.
Okay.
You know what's funny?
In England, they call us Asians and them Chinese.
What?
They act like they were trying to shame Americans.
They're like, oh, you guys call South Asian, South Asian.
They're just Asian here.
I was like, okay, well, what do you call like Korean people?
They're like, oh, they're just Chinese.
I was like, you're not.
Better than us.
It's the same shit.
That's fucked up.
They're doing China's bidding.
What do you mean?
He's calling every Asian.
China's just trying to run it like that.
That's super disrespectful.
They are the reason why we do that.
That's not our fault.
That's China.
That's on China.
They inception it into us.
They inception it into us.
All Spanish people call Asians Chino.
Oh, my God.
And where has China had an influence recently?
South America, Central America.
Oh, my.
This is all their plan.
That's the thing.
It's not our fault for being racist.
A lot of that shit has just been pushed on us.
That's just a good point.
That's crazy.
We're victims.
We're victims.
And also, China made us think they all y'all look the same, too.
Yeah.
Wow.
They did.
Wow.
Because they're like, people can look similar.
Have you seen that video?
Where the...
Yeah, with an old bitch.
The black dude goes up to an old Asian lady with a mask and she's not scared at all.
Then he takes out the mask and he's black and the lady freaks out.
So he goes up to this old Asian lady wearing an Iron Man mask, right?
And he goes, boo.
And then she's just like, what are you doing?
And then he takes off the Iron Man mask and he's just a black dude.
And this bitch damn near throws her fuck at the guy.
I don't know if it was fucked.
I don't know if it was Vietnam.
That's what they did with Black Panther in China.
What'd they do?
They put a mask on, what's the guy's name?
Kill Margaret?
The main girl.
Oh, Michael B. Jordan.
Yeah, they put a mask on him.
And the regular one, it's just Michael B. Jordan just being black.
And then on the China promotional poster, they put a mask on him.
I mean, which I'm like.
They're going to find out he's black.
That's what I'm saying, right?
Once they buy the ticket.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
But then you already got him in.
Dude, the first scene of that movie.
Oh, my God.
Number one horror movie in China.
That's their exorcist over there.
It's like, this shit is terrifying.
They were on the screen for every scene.
Oh, my God.
Wait till they see Hamilton dude.
They're going to be like, what is that shit?
Maybe that's how we keep them out.
Holy shit.
Oh, my God.
Is that what Hollywood is doing?
We need another black president.
Hollywood is trying to preserve America and try to keep Asians out of America, specifically the Chinese.
They know how terrified they are of black people.
So they're putting them in all the roles.
Black Lives Matter.
Black Lives Matter.
Superman is black.
Leave us alone.
Whoa.
They're using their racism as kryptonite.
This is amazing.
That's the plan, bro.
Once again, black people save America.
We do it.
That's what you guys do.
We prop you guys up.
Nah, you do.
Y'all do save America.
Black people have been saving America.
They do.
Can't even hate.
I'm still trying to think of the thing.
But what is the thing that they what did you save us from?
I mean, like we give America.
That's fucked up.
How are you going to steal my class?
Black people give America pride.
Black people give America pride.
So when we're winning everything in the Olympics?
Yep.
That's good.
That's a fad.
Yeah, that's only one of the Olympics.
What do you mean?
Every single day.
Oh, no.
Y'all back in Winter Olympics.
I ain't seen y'all do nothing.
Who watches that?
You're dead.
Wait.
Who watches?
Y'all are dead.
When's the last Winter Olympics?
Why was it on last one?
When was the last Winter Olympic?
Last winter.
No, it wasn't.
No.
Two winters ago.
You just keep going until the fourth.
It was in the last four years.
Wait, two of the Tai Shi.
Yo, you think that's why the Summer Olympics is one year late?
Because it's just so many black people that couldn't be on time.
That is fucked up.
That is fucked up.
That's fucked up.
No, no, no, it's true.
Yo, we on our way.
We got to get our outfits right on the uniforms.
No, we beef live.
No, but that is true.
We carry you guys in the Winter Olympics.
Downhill skiing, y'all not skiing.
Short sporting.
Speed skating.
Y'all not even speed skating.
American culture around the world is just black culture.
How you figure, bro?
You've got Asians fucking breakdancing.
And y'all claiming as a national culture.
That's the whole world.
Korea?
The whole world is right now up there.
Korean Asian.
Korea's about to be China.
Say what?
It's going to be China.
You think China's taking over Korea?
How?
Over my dead body.
Everyone who over my dead body.
Stopping up.
Let me tell you what you're going to do.
If they even try to come for Korea.
Which one?
What?
Which one?
They could take the top part.
They already got it.
Do they?
Pretty much.
Basically.
Yeah.
They run that shit.
I mean, it's all these communists.
It's in the bag.
That shit's Sam Tuzam.
Same to Sam, bro.
Yeah, they bodied them.
Dub.
They're allies.
All right.
Well, if they come for South Korea, I'm tight, bro.
Yeah.
I'm super tight.
South Korea.
What you gonna do?
South will rise again, bro.
South will rise again, bro.
Real talk.
We're gonna bring out them stars and bars.
Give them a south to Korea.
Yee-haw, brother.
Real talk.
Let's go.
We're gonna arm them Koreans, dog.
Yeah.
We're gonna do it.
I mean that sincerely.
I got South Korea's back.
Yeah, what about Japan?
What if China comes for Japan?
I like Japan.
I got their back too.
Japan.
There are certain countries I will not help.
You thought Japan was trash when you went over there.
Fuck Japan.
Exactly.
Even when I said it and it came out, it didn't feel right.
When I said it came out, it didn't feel right.
Japan could go.
Honestly, there's certain parts of Japan that could stay, but most of it, you're out of here.
I like the cuisine.
You just like the cuisine.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because the Knicks got a big fucking game coming up and we're going to put some money on it.
I'm going to put some money on it.
All right.
And you know, if I'm gambling, I'm only doing it in one place.
It's mybookie.ag, simple as that.
Okay.
Now, I know you might not be a fan of the Knicks.
Some of you were not fortunate enough to be born in the greatest city in the entire world.
And that's why.
That's the only reason.
If you were, you'd be rocking with us.
But you can also gamble on your respective teams.
You can gamble on any fucking sport that exists.
I'm betting on my Knicks.
I know that we're down 3-1.
And I know that this Wednesday is going to be a very big game, but I'm putting that fucking money down.
I'll tell you why else I'm putting that money down at mybookie.ag because they're matching the initial fucking investment up to $1,000.
Think about that.
That's a free thousand.
You get to gamble on whatever fucking game you want.
As a matter of fact, Atlanta, I'm calling out on them Hawks fans right now.
If you think you got it, put your money where your mouth is.
Go to mybookie.ag, okay?
Make sure you use that promo code Flagrant and they're going to match your first deposit bonus.
We could both put some money up on the game.
Matter of fact, if you're not from Atlanta, I don't care where you're from.
Let's put some money up on this Knicks Hawks game because the Knicks are coming fucking through.
MyBookie.ag.
Use that promo code Flagrant.
Get that initial bonus matched, okay?
Or that initial deposit matched.
Okay.
MyBookie got you.
Good gambling.
Have fun.
Let's get back to the shit.
I like sushi, bro.
They figured it out.
Actually, let's see.
You just like it.
It was good, right?
Yeah, that Al just skipped out on piece of shit.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you for remembering that.
What a piece of garbage Al is, yo.
definitionally, you skipped out.
No, I did like the way people defying skipping out is.
Yo, Al, it's time.
Come on, Al.
Get your lickings from the group.
Al, Al.
No, I ain't skip out.
Yo, I was celebrating the end of our journey by yourself.
No, I was out.
Yeah, that's the celebration.
I was out with you.
You didn't invite none of us.
Y'all didn't invite you to invite none of us.
We were acting like a lot of.
This guy was coming up.
We were celebrating.
We were celebrating.
We were celebrating in a way that you guys don't typically like to celebrate.
Going to the club.
No, we was at a pool party popping bottles and shit.
Oh.
Like, we ain't never popped both.
No, you don't.
You never.
Like, I don't do that.
Yo, give me that.
Dove, I invited you.
I know you would enjoy it.
You didn't say that shit, Huzzah.
Dre?
Dre?
Pot and bottle?
You don't think we have a pot bottle?
You popped on.
You stole our whole flow.
Come on.
I invited Dove because Dove enjoys that type of shit.
You were already there about to leave.
Yeah, you were already there.
Oh my god.
Keep it going.
I was a pretty big former.
I was up in that old ass Tesla.
They probably laughed at your ass.
They didn't even park that shit up front.
Yo, keep going.
Tell him what this sellout motherfucker did.
This is the end of Miami, right?
This is our last few hours in Miami.
We just spent together.
The studio was fully packed up, ready to go.
Got your movers.
Remember, you wanted to do it.
Movers.
Yeah, but you didn't get the lead.
Okay, go the lead.
We were supposed to be on a boat.
And then what happened?
What happens?
He comes windy.
It was all scared as a wind.
Oh, my God.
Win.
I can't have a good time on a boat because it's going to be a little windy.
It's kind of fun.
I wasn't going to spend $5,000 to put Windy.
For amazing.
That's the reason.
For $2,500, maybe.
Okay.
But for $5,000, it got to be perfect.
So I took my ass to the pool where it was a little windy.
But we was good, popping bottles.
And you couldn't invite us to the pool?
Yeah, I invited this guy.
You would not have to do it.
So you were down to go on the windy boat.
Hell yeah.
But when you had to have the pool, it was windy.
You were in one.
Actually, I did invite you.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
When you were complaining about the predicament that you were in, you were complaining about the business.
I was in a predicament.
Yes.
So, okay.
And then I was like, yo, come here.
It's popping.
And then Dub followed up with come here because Dub was at something else.
That's why I did invite you earlier, but you were already at the book.
Okay, let's do it.
Dove said, come here.
Let's do this.
Okay, let's do this.
After you were already there, you invited us, which is a piece of shit thing to do.
On the group chat.
You were already at the thing.
Maybe he was scouting it.
Maybe he was just seeing if the vibe was cool.
You're not doing the fun thing right now, which is ganging up.
I'm not a kid.
The gang up is fun.
You're not going to be logical.
No, no, no.
This is not logical.
Actually, I'm going to.
I defend that.
That's fine.
Wait, it's going to get fucked up.
Just keep telling the story.
Okay.
Now he's a big one.
I know.
I know.
Okay.
I'm on his side for now.
Okay, This is how stupid he is.
This is how dumb he is.
He posts where he's at all day on Instagram.
So we see him being a piece of shit.
You know what I mean?
I got to see on Instagram that you're a piece of shit.
I invited you.
No, you after you were already there.
You invited us because we invited you somewhere and you were like, well, I guess it's the right thing to do.
You wouldn't have come.
That's not your body.
Is that it?
Is that it?
You're right.
That's not your best.
Is that it?
No, it's not even kind of a free invite.
Yo, yo, can you anytime you know someone's not going to come?
He was embarrassed of us.
So that's murderous.
He was embarrassed of us.
You were embarrassed of us.
You're embarrassed of us because we're not the same color skin as you.
Oh, you're a free friend.
You're not.
You didn't want to look like you're selling out for your black friends.
Yeah, you're Brad.
You can pretend I'm doing your taxes or something.
We're your friends when you want to get free clothes from people who DM you, but not when you want to go pop bottles.
I see how it is.
I see how it is.
That's really fucked up.
Didn't Schultz get you a yacht for your birthday?
Oh, my God.
That's insane.
You bought him a whole yacht.
Really?
He bought him a yacht.
I was even looking postmade for him.
He did a lot of stuff.
And he said, you tripped.
I got to get you a dented Tesla.
That's how you got coffee, Dub.
Skin Color And Embarrassment00:15:49
You know, he squatted his power to get a damn thing.
Hey, don't deflect, don't die.
And here, after I got the fucking boat, right, for his birthday, right?
After I got the boat for his birthday, he's going to have the nerve a couple months later to say to me, man, you just got that for yourself.
Wow.
No, I didn't.
Wow.
You said that to me.
And I said, Weezy left to die on your birthday.
She left you to die on your birthday.
I came in and saved the day.
Schultz saves Alex.
I saved Alex.
Alex wants a boat.
We go get him a boat.
Dub, find a discount.
That's what happened.
I might be a dinghy.
Who knows?
We're going to be on the dog.
We're going to be on the wine.
It's going to be really windy.
Mr. Robert, yo.
Thank you so much, Robert.
Oh, my goodness.
So, Weezy left you to die on your birthday.
She said, I couldn't do it.
Weezy wanted to get on a boat for her birthday.
And so I think she contacted you to try to set up some special situations.
It's a surprise situation.
How generous.
Okay.
How generous.
How Jack.
Hey, I want to get you a boat for your birthday.
Hey, can you get a boat?
Schultz figured it out.
That's what I'm saying.
Before Al ever invites us, before he ever invites us to anything nice.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, this is not your time, Al.
This is not your time.
You'll have your time at the end.
Okay, before Al invites us to anything nice, right?
Before he even considers his friends, who's blood, sweat, and tears for the last four months, before he even considers including them in this thing.
After he knows I'm trying to get the boat for everybody, after he knows I'm trying to order.
We discuss this the day before.
We had discussed it.
And that discusses the day before.
No, we didn't.
100% we had to do it.
Yeah, no, we did not.
No, we did.
You're a liar.
Not in front of me.
Not in front of me.
You're a liar.
We had no plan for that money.
Okay, anyway.
So he goes like this.
This Sunday.
He goes like this.
This Saturday.
Right?
He goes like this.
I go, yo, we're not going to do the boat, but we're going to do dinner.
This is going to be a time, right?
Al goes, you said this in text?
Because I wasn't.
We got a group chat.
We got a group chat.
And then you text back to me privately.
I got a little private messages where you go, yo.
This is where I jump off board.
You go, yeah, this is where you fucked up big time.
You go, yo, I got three people with me.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I am fucked up.
I am fucked up at my bro.
Oh, he's going to be singing.
He goes, I got three friends with me.
Can you get a dinner?
Keep in mind, our team is growing.
We got a lot of people here.
Everybody got wife.
You know what I mean?
Girlfriend, something like that.
So everybody's wife's girlfriends are invited.
Akash got two friends in town.
Akash got two friends in town.
I tell Akash, I go, man, it's going to be tricky, but let me get to work on all this.
This is a nice restaurant I'm going to.
This very night.
It's the hardest reservation in Miami to get this restaurant.
And we're doing it on a Saturday night for now, 14 people.
Okay?
Day of.
Day of.
And you told me no off.
Shouts to Uchi.
I said, I said, no.
I said, probably not, but I'm going to see.
That's why I said, probably not.
I'm going to see.
And I said to the group chat.
Even when Akash mentioned the whole group chat, I said, probably not, but I'm going to see.
I went and I locked it in for your friends.
Okay.
You didn't tell me.
Oh.
You didn't tell me.
Oh, the tides are going to be a little bit more.
You're going to make me turn out the phone.
You're going to make me get up.
20 push-ups if I get it right.
Oh, I mean, let's see the time.
You told him the same time he said my friends were welcome.
I mean, there's a lot of stuff.
Your friends are welcome.
He might have said your friends first.
He might have said, Alex, your friends are good.
Akash, yours, too.
Why I'm after thought.
Why I'm afterthought, Andrew?
Yours too.
That is fucked up.
That's fucked up.
You want a good point because you know that he doesn't know how to use his phone next year.
I know so.
So he's going to sing right now.
Whatever, man.
It's in the flagrant.
It's part of the flagrant F2 Miami.
Oh, that's a mad farm.
No, this is a smart play, actually.
I responded to text the group.
So now he's back there.
Don't do that.
Don't do that now.
Don't do that now.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Tactical warfare.
Don't do that to me.
But y'all saw it, right?
Oh, God.
But y'all saw it, right?
That shit is.
My man is drowning.
Y'all find it.
Hurry up, dog.
Come on, son.
No, but y'all saw it, right?
If the glove don't fit, silver bullet.
That's the glove.
Blake's Alex.
Bust the quit.
All right.
Wow.
Hold on, bro.
Nah, but real talk.
I got drunk as fuck.
And I missed like that.
I don't got an argument for that one because I take a drunk as buck.
You're popping bottles at the pool.
Yeah, I was popping out as a ball celebrating.
That was so fun, though.
Where the fuck is it?
Now I'm getting up.
So we got people listening, Drew.
This is content.
I don't know, but it's here somewhere.
Fuck you guys.
Thanks.
Technology.
Technology got me out of here.
Look for this shit.
Oh, no.
I got it.
Here we go.
We're going back.
really good we good okay he just scrolls like this Ready?
I got it.
Ready?
Here it is.
Okay.
Got the reservation increased.
Akash, your people are good.
Alex, your people are good as well.
What's the time?
Yeah.
What time?
5:12 p.m.
5:12 p.m.
I'm trying to get ready.
Wow.
Oh, that's his excuse.
I'm drunk already.
He's an excuse.
That's why I said when I got a driving accident, yo.
I'm lit.
I'm really sorry.
I'm just seeing this right now.
Someone is napping from earlier today.
I don't think we'll make it.
He tells me that at 9:05.
What time's the reservation?
What time's the reservation?
9 o'clock.
9 o'clock.
Five minutes after who naps at 9 o'clock?
Sonny.
Then what happens?
Then what do we see later on the Instagram story?
I still have to eat.
Wow.
He went out to pull the mouth.
Went out to dinner with his friends 30 minutes later.
They weren't there.
It was just.
Yeah.
Went out to dinner.
So you're going to ask me to get your friends there, right?
Yeah.
We changed the whole reservation.
Changed the whole reservation.
Changed the whole table dynamic.
Changed the whole table dynamic.
Yeah.
Three empty chairs.
Three empty chairs.
It was better without me, right?
No, it would have been with you, bro.
We want him.
I am late.
Yeah, you see that.
You see?
No, we want him now.
That's our people.
We want you there, Doug.
We love you.
See, unlike you, we love you, bro.
And we want to spend those last hours with you and celebrate what we accomplished in Miami.
I wanted to be there.
I did want to be there.
But I did.
That is the most deadbeat dad shit I ever heard in my life.
I'm making a graduation.
I'm going to graduate.
I really want to be there.
I'm consistent.
It's unbelievable, dog.
It's truly unbelievable.
Do you apologize?
I do apologize.
To whom?
To everyone here.
Apologize to yourself.
You let yourself down, yo.
You let yourself down.
Nah, I wish I was there.
I do.
I was, I felt the way.
You felt the way with yourself?
Yeah.
Should we tell him?
Wait, what?
Yeah, tell him.
We didn't really go to dinner, bro.
We were pranking you.
We never went to dinner and we're trying to get you to go.
And they just have you be there.
Nah, that's not true.
Because I hit Dove on the side and he was like, oh, it's good telling me.
It's good you didn't come because his boys were.
No, I was getting to play by play from Andrew.
What did you do with you?
I'm not getting it right now.
Yeah, he was in his feelings on text with me.
Yeah, I was in my feelings.
I was trying to make it.
I was trying to pull up.
At nine o'clock you messaged me.
I was going to run.
That's when I woke up.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
Let's talk about another fucking thing.
What else do we got?
SLS pool party.
Pretty nice.
Did you move in here on a Sunday?
Saturday?
No, not yet.
That shit got pushed back, motherfucks.
Wait, what do you mean?
I moved into my original apartment, but the new place that I'm moving into that doesn't have someone who used to smash my fiancé that I know of.
I mean, so yeah, that one, the certificate of occupancy for the building isn't available until like June 14th.
Oh, that's fine.
You got a couple weeks.
Enjoy your current spot.
You're good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
What about you guys?
You're strong.
You're all almost all moved in.
Looking gorgeous.
You're a strong man, though.
Say what?
You're strong, brother.
Yeah.
I would have been out of that shit.
Yeah.
Having a bump in time, motherfucker.
Yeah, ownership is a different.
Yeah, fuck it.
Yeah, fuck it.
I don't care.
I don't care.
That was a renter.
That was a renter.
You don't care, but it's the first thing you just brought up.
I had a comedic effect.
He's vulnerable.
But realistically speaking, what are you going to do?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's also a ranking.
Ain't a building in a city we could live in where I haven't fucked something.
We literally had to get a new building.
Just wash away both of our sins.
What about you, Mark?
You found a new spot yet?
Working on it.
It's not going down.
It's just, everything's so competitive.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But we'll get there.
Dove, yo, seeing Dove text us about New York City, like shit that we're all accustomed to is so funny.
It'd be so hard.
It's a hard.
This shit is hard, yo.
Yeah, bro.
You realize, like, after you've gone for a while, and if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.
Shit is 100% real.
I mean that.
Because this is what I was thinking: is like we were gone for four months, but we were really gone for what New York is for a year and four months.
Because during the pandemic and quarantine, it wasn't New York.
The feeling about people in general wasn't New York.
And so, that's the longest I've ever not been around New York in my life.
I know I went to school, but I would come back every few months.
And also, when you're young, you're so oblivious.
But now, coming back, I'm like, yo, this shit is.
I get it.
If you could thug this out right here, you could make it in most places.
Because Miami was pleasant.
Son, I hate being back.
Real talk is.
Why am I wearing this jacket on May 31st?
Oh, my God.
Yo, he was living, bro.
We got out the plane.
He goes, what the fuck are we doing?
What is this?
What do you think?
What is this?
You know how, like, this is how fucking.
Don't get me upset on this.
You know how, like, when a plane connects to the fucking airport, there's like that little shit.
Yes, bro.
That fucking wind hit you.
Not even a wind.
I got rained on in between the plane and the airport.
I'm like, really?
Already?
Already, New York, you already shitting on me.
Already, bro.
We get out the airport.
It's 50 degrees, you know, 40 degrees or something.
I haven't seen the sun the whole time here.
Yeah.
It's unbelievable, bro.
It's about 10 years.
I hate coming back, yo.
You're a New Yorker.
You're a New Yorker.
I've been here 13 years, but I never say I'm a New Yorker because I know y'all are New Yorkers.
When we left, I was like, I don't miss this shit at all.
Why would we go back?
Why would we ever go back?
Y'all, I get it.
For me, I did my time.
I'm undeniably happier in Miami.
Undeniably so.
No, I am.
Undeniably so.
But guy posting when you're driving over a bridge and shit like that.
You happy as fuck.
I did need some content.
I did need some content.
I'll pick a fire station.
But you know what it does?
I would post on your way to the post in Miami because I've been so happy.
The more I post, the more miserable I am.
That's a good point.
That's a great point.
Miami, you just happy, bro.
You're like, what the fuck I need to pose for?
That's a great point.
It's gorgeous.
Everything's it.
But part of the existence of New York is dealing with this.
What do you think of that, yo?
Nah, yes, I agree with you on some level, but like the highs are higher and the lows are lower.
So the highs that you feel in New York when some shit goes well, like what I experienced at that nick game was unbelievable.
I mean, the energy was crazy.
Like, there's nothing compares to that anywhere else.
So like the highs are so much higher because the lows are lower.
Yeah.
But you got to admit, bro, you're going to deal with some low shit.
Yeah, the very next day after that game, you're pulling me on an electric huck that's dead across the bridge.
I'm on a city bike, not even the electric one, and he's literally pulling my bike over this bridge.
And I'm like trying to dodge the tire plus oncoming traffic.
And I'm wearing Miles's like motorcycle helmet, holding two bags and totes to pick up this art.
I was just like, we show up.
I'm sweating.
I'm just like, this is annoying.
I was riding on originally on the back of my bike.
Shout out to Huck, man.
Best electric motorcycles on the fucking planet.
And I ran one red light and he was done.
I ran the red light.
He didn't even say it aggressive.
Like, he said it so matter of fact.
Like, I ran the red light and he just goes, let me off.
Super calm.
Super.
Like, we're 37, bro.
Let me off.
Let me off.
Let me on.
Like, it was like this.
Like, he was like, let me off.
Like, what are we even trying to accomplish right now?
I did that to begin with.
Say what?
I don't get how you did that to begin with.
What grown-ass men on a bicycle.
He was trying to hold me straight.
Like, he had his hands on my shoulders.
And I was like, man, we go over one bump.
And you were slipping right off the shoulder.
Why do guys always do that, bro?
They go on the shoulders.
Because they don't want to be gay holding you around your ass.
I then interlock around the waist.
I made him grab my thighs like that.
So he did like that.
That's a good leverage.
And then I sat on the thighs.
That's a good leverage point.
I sat on his hands.
Yeah, yeah.
Supposed to be sideways on his seat.
That's how you do it.
That's the only straight way to do it.
You got to be like this.
No high colour.
You got to go back to back.
I don't even know where we're going, fam.
You let him know here.
Yeah, you got to pretend like you're not on it.
How did I get here?
Yeah.
You got to act like you kidnapped.
Help.
My boy would do that shit anytime.
His girl would hand him his purse.
He just hold it like someone lost a purse.
Is this yours?
Did you drop this, miss?
I don't know, boys.
You're happy to be back.
I am.
Everybody seems happy.
I am happy to be back.
I am happy to be back.
And it's been Miles and Mark felt the energy coming in.
I was so happy.
I was like, sit, you're a young ass doctor.
What do you need energy for?
You're 24.
I haven't even slept right.
Like, there's something about it, man.
Somebody about the city.
So many people doing things you think you got to do.
When you can go to your like house where you have a fucking like backyard and pool, you can check out from the world, right?
But in New York, you can't check out from the world.
Even if you look out your window, you got a thousand people outside doing something, going somewhere.
Everybody's in a rush.
It makes you feel like you got shit to do.
Like, I got the tunnel literally next to my place where I'm at right now.
So I'm seeing people go into the tunnel, right?
Like they're going somewhere.
Yeah.
They're doing something.
They got shit to do.
So I better do some shit.
So it's impossible to feel like, I don't know.
For me, it's impossible to relax.
And like, I'm, I'm, I forgot what it was like to just like be up all night thinking, mind racing.
Yeah, you sent me a text at like 4 a.m.
I also couldn't sleep, but you sent me a text at like 5 a.m. to the group.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Or then you and I were talking about guests.
And I was like, this guy's not normally up this early.
And he normally doesn't have trouble sleeping.
Yeah, no, I know you to be like 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. or whatever.
And that's it.
Nah, I'm juiced up.
I don't know, man.
This guy, baby, we back.
We back, bro.
What, Mark?
What?
Mark's giggling.
Mark, get your fucking apartment situated.
Yeah, I know I need it.
Mark trying to lowball apartments in New York.
Get dubbed on it, yo.
No, he every time Mark tries to dub, it's so funny, dude.
I'm so bad.
He's the worst.
Yeah, I still have a lot of people.
I want you, Tesla.
I have like a southern sensibility to me.
Oh, God.
One time he wasn't.
He's still pretty good.
He was trying to negotiate a fucking motorcycle, bro.
It was so funny.
I had to reach out to the guy to just figure out exactly what happened.
I do help me.
He's the one that drafted it.
So he goes, he asked how much the motorcycle is, right?
Over Instagram.
And the guy says a number, like $7,500, whatever.
Mark's like, you think we can do $5,500?
What is the exact response the guy said?
It was something like, fuck no.
The price is the price.
Yeah, bullshit walks or something.
He just got broken on his first truffle.
It was so funny.
I reached out to the guy myself.
I was like, yo, what happened to that nice ass bike?
And the guy was like, I give it to you for like $57.50.
What?
Yeah.
That's not true.
Nah, I made that promise.
CBD Dreams And Bike Deals00:03:45
Oh, that's our crying, bro.
You should have just copped it.
Oh, you didn't have $250, buddy?
Yeah, I don't know.
That's the thing they don't tell you about truffling.
Is that like it's almost better to pay the money to not have to deal with the truffle?
You know what I mean?
But the joy is in the truffle for him.
Yeah, that's the thing that we don't understand.
For us, the joy is in the truffle.
It's like a listener to like a marathon runner or some shit.
It's like to us, running is punishment, but to him, he loves the process of running.
Yes, the process.
He just loves the whole thing.
I imagine I'm speaking for you here.
But like, he's in love with the process.
We're in love with the outcome.
So the process is painful for us.
Yes.
But his old shit is like, all right, I'm truffling you.
If it don't work, well, I'll find someone else to truffle.
Yeah, but I also like the result of it.
I'm trying to do you guys all favors.
So God, that gives me joy.
What?
No, that is a good point.
Like, we took that.
I'm afraid to let you down.
But the selfishness of that, like helping you in something that you feel like we're incompetent at.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
It's like watching Akash fix a mic.
Yeah.
Like that's how when he sees us negotiating, that's how we feel when he's fixing his mic.
Yeah.
Is that how bad we are?
What is it like?
What are we when we negotiate?
Are we like a fucking like a housewife putting her bag in an overhead thing?
It's Laker Showtime watching the JV team at a Jewish school.
But it really is amazing, though.
Bro, he because when he negotiates, he's not Dove.
You know that, right?
Who is he?
He's Dove.
He's Dove.
He's whoever he needs to be, but he is whatever I need to be.
Yeah, it's amazing.
He gets online with this fucking landlord.
He's like, it's Dove, it's Dove.
I'm Mark's friend.
I'm his Jewish friend.
You know, no, Dove, he doesn't say I'm his Jewish friend.
Dove lets him know.
Oh, yeah, off bat.
I'm talking about Schlomo.
He knows what a dove is.
It's been a couple doves, you know?
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Let's get back to it.
Okay, let's do some feelings, no facts, boys.
We out here.
We out here kicking.
All right, you want to rifle through something?
Yeah.
All right.
This one, we kind of touched on a little.
People get your Venmo, your personal Venmo.
How does that out there?
Cushy Dreams Promo Code00:08:14
Why do they fucking?
It's probably your name, bro.
You probably got a picture in that bitch.
No, I don't think my shit is my name.
Katarina just asked for some grocery money.
Nope.
Wait, really?
Yeah, these bitches be asking for groceries.
How much?
$37.
Who's Katarina?
Who's Katarina?
Next question.
Some random bitch.
You should have done that.
I should have given it to her.
Yeah.
Oh, actually, no, no, that would backfire.
I was thinking, like, oh, she'll repost how nice Andrew Schultz is and then everybody.
Everybody all do it.
Yeah, no, Done that shit.
Fuck them all.
No, you should say no and then put a comment.
Fuck no.
Or whatever he said tomorrow.
Bullshit walks.
Bullshit walks.
Bullshit walks, bitch.
Yo, did you guys see the big girl, the big WNBA girl, complaining about the coach that says she's 300 pounds?
Yeah.
This video is hilarious.
But basically, there's this girl.
I think her name is Liz Cambage or some shit like that.
She's like born in London and like grew up in Australia, but got no accent from either place.
She talked like she's from America.
And she's a WNBA player.
And the coach from the opposing team.
I can't get through the story.
The coach from the opposing team was trying to get a call for one of his players.
He goes, uh, he goes, Come on, Ruf.
She's 300 pounds, right?
Which is what you would say to a male basketball player.
Like, you would reference their weight.
That's a big boy.
That's a big boy.
Like, they would do a shaq all the time.
Like, what are we supposed to do?
The guy's 300 pounds.
How is it not charging?
Or this, that, the other.
Um, but he did it to the girl.
So the girl went on and she was like, Oh my god, uh, you can't talk about a woman's weight like that.
I'm a proud, big, you know, big bitch or whatever like that.
I'm proud.
She's 6'8, too.
She's like, 6'8, 235, blah, blah, blah.
Talking all this shit about how you can't say how big she is.
Meanwhile, bitch wearing a fucking McDonald's sweatshirt.
You know what I mean?
Don't I want to hear no weight conversations if you and McDonald's merch.
But also, if big is beautiful, he just made you more beautiful.
He added 65 pounds.
That's good point.
If big is beautiful, he made you more beautiful.
He's saying you're more beautiful.
So who are you?
Now you shame an actual 300-pounders by being like, that's disgusting.
I'm not like that.
Also, you don't even know how much pounds are, bitch.
You're from Australia.
You don't even know what your sister got a system spelling.
Is that more or less?
That's more.
That's more.
So if you're on kilos, that's super disrespectful.
But 300 pounds is really not that far off.
235 to 300?
That's a difference, bro.
It's like 25 kilos.
I don't know how much women weigh, bro, because I don't know how dense titties are.
That's a good point.
I don't know how much women weigh.
I told my girl how much she weighed once and she was shocked.
So it's like, and she's not even big-titted.
So if, imagine a big topic.
I told my girl how much she weighed.
Yeah, well, she asked me.
She's like, how much do you think I weigh?
And I was like, this ain't gonna go well.
I know.
I don't want to ask somebody.
Because you also can't go too low.
I went low.
I said she weighed 50 pounds.
Yeah, that's what we're doing.
Is she like a golden retriever?
And I was like, you weigh 50 pounds.
She looked at me.
She's like, Sabi weighs 40 pounds.
I was like, well, he's standing up.
He ain't that far off.
I don't know.
But if a girl got huge titties, you could be 5'3 with huge titties.
How much you weigh?
180?
Skinny with huge titties.
How much does that girl weigh?
What's her name?
Kate Upton.
She gotta weigh 180 or something, right?
Yeah, that sounds fair because you don't know the breasts alone are probably 100.
It's called the heavies.
They're the heavies for a reason, bro.
They gotta be each titty gotta be minimum 20 pounds.
Kate Upton's 136 pounds.
There's no way.
I'm so mark, Mark, Mark.
They can't be complaining all the time about back pain if they just carrying around little three-pound weights.
Those are her NBA numbers.
Like, you know, like when they distort it a little bit, bro, there's no way.
She got to be 160 to 180 pounds.
She's 5'10.
She's not 5'10, 135 when she got the super.
There's no way, you guys.
There's no way.
You think that's 135 pounds with them huge bangs on it?
At least 160.
160 to 180.
And I'm not saying she's fat, but the titties themselves have to weigh a certain amount.
Even if you're 5'10, that's size.
That's size, bro.
So it's not wrong for a coach to look at this girl who's 6'8.
Okay.
She got titties and 6'8 titties, mind you.
Yeah, 6'8.
Right?
She's not 5'3 titties, not 5'16.
It's 6'8 titties.
You're gonna be proportionally bigger to think she's 3'.
Yeah, I'm with it.
Hey, who knows?
The guy's just guessing.
Also, she called him little white man.
He's not upset about that.
He's like, I am little compared to your big ass.
You know what I mean?
Right?
Compared to your big ass, 300 pounds.
I'm big-breasted ass.
Big-breasted ass.
Big-breasted ass lady.
That's a big bitch.
That's a big bitch with her fucking McDonald's with her McDonald's sweatshirt.
How often do you got to go with McDonald's?
You're like, I need to start wearing this shit, bro.
This is fire, bro.
You can't be in the complaint about the weight.
Especially if you can't say don't fat shame and then you fat shame by being like, I'm not 300 pounds, okay?
Fucking disgusting.
Yeah.
You fat shaming 300 pounders that are actually 300 pounds.
That's a good ass point, too.
I'm saying that's a hypocritical point.
He's just saying you're gorgeous.
I like your point best.
If big is beautiful, he's saying you're gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
More beautiful.
More beautiful.
I need to weigh her, real talk.
How do I know you're not 300?
How do we know you're not?
You're just out here saying you're 235.
You could not be.
Word.
Get on the scale.
Kate Upton.
She's probably pushing too.
Kate Upton might be 200 pounds, yo.
Who weighs more Vin Diesel or Kate Upton?
Oh, Kate Upton for a fact.
100%.
100%.
Vin Diesel 5'6.
Yeah.
No titty meat.
That's true.
Kate Upton, 5'10?
Heavy.
Like, probably one tit is like the size of a Kevin Hart.
So she got two Kevin Harts plus her size.
Yeah, she's that's a fact.
I like that math.
She's as an Indian.
I sign off on that math right there.
And you know what's disrespectful about this, Akash?
She got all these other girls with big titties thinking they're fat for not weighing 200 pounds.
When they look just like her, they're like, oh my gosh, she's 135.
She got the heavies.
I got the heavies and I'm 160.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Nothing.
Be honest about your fucking weight.
Nothing.
You got the heavies.
You got the heavies.
They're called the heavies.
We call them the heavies so you feel better about yourself.
Yeah.
We're not calling the schmediums.
Yeah.
We're not calling them the lights.
I love big.
Big is beautiful.
So the heavies.
You missed Texas right now, aren't you?
Yo, everything's bigger.
The heavies are bigger.
We love the heavies.
That's what I'm talking about.
Liz Cambage needs to apologize.
I think she owes every big woman an apology.
She owes every big woman an apology.
Also, according to this, she's 216.
I need her.
I need her on the scale.
If it's a conversation about weight and you are basing your discrimination in weight, we need you on the scale.
We need a weigher.
We need a weigher.
And if you're 216, you know, maybe you want to put on a few pounds, be a little more beautiful.
That's up to you.
I'm not going to tell you what to do.
But big is beautiful.
We all think so.
I'm just saying, is it?
I know it seems disrespectful to just straight weigh women.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
But if you're basing your disrespect on weight, we need to prove.
That's a fact.
Right or wrong?
That's a fact.
The feelings, feelings, right?
The feeling is right.
Facts, maybe not.
It's a whole carnival attraction.
I agree.
If the guy who's right, she ain't got the prize.
We need one of those guys.
We need to get one of those guys that guess your weight, guys.
We need one of them like enthusiasts.
You know, them guys at the guess your weight.
They just look at you and go.
Oh, the carnival.
You could just guess what they are.
Yeah, we need one of them.
Watch the video and let us know if any of you guys had that job.
Why are you upset at him?
Because you look 300.
He's going off what he sees.
And he sees a beautiful woman.
He sees a beautiful woman, but he's also like, that's 300.
300 pounds.
But why is that disrespectful if you just look and go, that's 300?
Yeah.
Again, he's just making you more beautiful.
I don't know what's to be offended about that.
You got to take this private conversation online.
Yeah.
That's foul.
It's better to round up.
Like the movie 300, it didn't look like 300 of them off.
Guess Your Weight Enthusiasts00:15:23
Yeah.
But you just round up.
He was probably like 2610.
They probably got 208.
They was lean, bro.
I bet they came in there with about 210.
Yeah.
210.
And they were like, well, we're just going to go to war with 210 people.
Now say 300.
Yeah.
Boom.
That's another thing.
It's like if you're used to seeing men that are 610.
Yeah.
And then you see a girl, you're like, oh, they're probably about the same.
No, women weigh more.
Women weigh more.
Because they got tits.
Anthony Davis is 250.
Say what?
Anthony Davis is 250.
It's 6'10.
So he's just kind of basing off that.
He's like, oh, yeah, Anthony Davis is about that tall.
If Anthony Davis had titties, he'd probably be around 300.
Boom.
Yeah.
I don't think that this guy's in the wrong at all.
No.
And I think this girl needs to start speaking in her God-given accent.
Because it's crazy.
It's crazy out here.
It's getting crazy out here.
What else we got?
American culture.
I'm telling you.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because I got to talk to you about a hypothetical.
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Now, let's get back to it.
What else we got, man?
You want to talk about Elliot Page?
Excuse me.
Oh, yeah.
Elliot Page damn near transformed into Pete Davison.
Seen this picture, bro.
She yoked.
He yoked.
She the queen of Staten Island, bro.
Yo, you got to look at who did this surgery, yo.
Whoever did this surgery, I'm seeing.
I'm tired of working out.
Nah, my man did it.
What do you mean?
No, no, he's body is amazing.
Dude's got abs, bro.
Abs, bro.
Full-blown abs.
And you've seen her titties.
That's Juno's titties, bro.
What do they do with those?
What?
What do they do with them?
You get them in each abs.
Oh, they do fat transfer.
Oh, it's an abs.
Yo, you want to know some crazy thing?
The abs that you see, these like Instagram bitches that you know how like they got abs now, like Cardi B got abs, but it's sculpted.
They stretch the obliques and then it gives you definition on the side.
My, oh, is that what they do?
Yeah.
So they have the one, if they have definition on the side, they take the oblique and stretch it down.
Oh, so then it makes it pop out a little bit.
That's crazy, yo.
I was under the impression that they do fat transfers so that they look like abs, but if you touch them, they're not hard at all.
No, no, no, no, it's actually muscle.
I was told otherwise.
No, no, no.
So they get the fat transfer.
So you take the fat out.
So now you make the waist small.
Yeah.
And then you take part of your oblique muscle, you cut it, stretch it.
So now it's like more tight.
Like it's tone.
And so now your muscles always tone.
Yo, Botox Media knows a lot about surgeries, bro.
Bottom media been in the IKEA hookup, whatever.
Why don't they stretch your calves?
Have they ever tried doing that?
They stretch their calves up a little bit?
Nah, I got to get, I need implants at this point.
Yo, if you're going to do it, do it.
I kind of respect this from Elliot Page.
Like, I don't give a fuck about your sex or gender or whatever the fuck that you always want to tell people about.
But if you're going to do it, if you're going to transition, do it.
Pop out.
That motherfucker did it.
He went out.
He went in.
We see people half-ass their transition.
Yeah.
And you just look stupid.
You just do.
It looks dumb.
But if you go all in, burn the boats.
Get the abs.
Burn the boats.
Burn the boats.
In the boats, bro.
Yeah, but he couldn't wait to show that picture because the fucking titty surgery scar wasn't even healed yet.
He still had stitches in it, everything, bro.
But it's like, nah, you're gonna see these abs, though.
Abs are popping.
Yeah, I couldn't even notice.
So the question is: is he a fuckboy now?
Because he looked like a fucking neck tattoo.
He really does, man.
This is, he, I think he got to lean all the way in.
He's a DJ now.
That motherfucker is a DJ.
That might be a chain smoker.
That's a he turned into a chain smoker, bro.
Yo, this is how good the surgery is.
We calling this bitch he.
Yeah.
We never do that.
You gotta have respect for somebody that fit, yo.
I mean, we out here teaching the Peloton class probably as a broken.
Elliot Page would whoop your ass, bro.
That's how I'm saying.
Son, it is unbelievable.
We gotta talk to Muscle Doc, see what he's on.
Yeah.
Because you know he's on some sort of testosterone, steroid, some shit.
Oh, man.
I'm honestly convinced he got a pecker, bro.
I think he done grown out a pecker.
I think he done grown out a pecker, bro.
Yo, he did it, huh?
I need to see Elliot Page's penis, bro.
I want to see it.
I would like to see it.
If the body looks that good, imagine the penis.
Abs on the dick.
Oh, all day.
100%.
Man, veins are veiny as fuck.
Central vein.
Like a white Ray J. dick.
Son, Elliot Page about to smash your girl.
Yo, real talk.
Dick Bench 250.
Easy.
I made my girl unfollow.
You did?
Uh-oh.
Why are you following?
Machine gun Elliot.
Yo, watch out for Machine Gun Ellie, bro.
Machine Gun Ellie is coming for your bitches.
You can follow Ellen Page.
You can't follow Elliot Page.
Are you crazy?
Uh-uh.
I'm going to stand for it.
I got to see the thing he's slanging, bro.
I think he's slanging a thing.
I bet he got the fucking hog.
I think he got a nice little hob on him.
Pick that shit out.
Fresh.
Yeah, if you transitioned, if you went from female to male, what would I get?
How big?
Exactly what I have.
Nah, what would I go with?
Color, thickness, or length.
All the above.
Okay.
Definitely.
Pakistani?
I'm not.
I can't go brown, bro.
I would go pink, dude.
I do like ninja turtle pink, like super pink, seen in the dark.
Pink like you've seen in the dark.
Like reflective or reflective, hot pink.
I go hot pink.
Okay.
Hot pink.
And then girth.
Like dog, would you get dog?
Say what?
Like dog.
Oh, dog lipstick?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You get a dog to me?
I do dog lipstick.
And I'd have the head a different color.
I would have the shaft pink and the head would be yo.
When are we going to get your designer dicks?
I like this.
We do it now.
Elliot got one, bro.
Yeah.
She out there.
What do you think it looked like?
Mushroom.
Plaid.
That shit look like a portobello, son.
I think she got the fat hood, bro.
I think, I think.
Put it on a burger.
Nom nom.
Nom nom, dude.
Real talk.
She got the impossible meat.
Real talk.
Yo, can we call Tranny Dix impossible meat?
Can we do that?
Yo, son.
We call it Tranny Dix impossible meat from now on.
I need to see Elliot's impossible meat.
I need to see Caitlin's impossible meat.
I need to see where these surgeries are at.
That's only fair.
Wait, can we get the surgery?
If we see it and it's good enough, we might as well.
Well, like, we're allowed to, right?
Lop it off.
Put in enough.
You never seen how the spaceships connect?
You got the pump pump.
Say what?
You got the pump.
I don't want to pump, bro.
I want my dick hard always.
You think it's hard all the time?
I want it.
That's how I want it.
Always hard.
Default is hard.
That's going to be mad uncomfortable.
No, it's not.
It's uncomfortable.
Whoever, for my pants, I'll flip it up to the belly.
The only time it's uncomfortable is at the urinal for the people next to me.
Because I'm going to pee up like that and then down to the one next to me.
Yeah, over the wall.
Not even over the wall.
I'm going to go flat your own like this and I'm going to ramble up and then write down parabola.
So the person is going to go to this one.
I'm going to, no, no, I'm using that one.
He's like, what are you talking about?
Voop, voop, and then it's impressive, dog.
Yo, it's like the Bellagio.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, I like that Bellagio pissing.
I'm hitting that bellage.
A little synchronized, you know what I mean?
You and the homie get there and shoot cross streams.
I watched that show.
Come on.
Is that weird that I want to see Elliot Page's penis, bro?
Not at all.
Why is that weird?
You want to see women's vaginas?
What's wrong with seeing Elliot Page's pee-pee?
That's the thing.
You don't want to see Caitlin Jenner's vagina, bro.
I said, I'm all about seeing vaginas.
You don't want to see their penis?
You're the only person who watches porn to see for dicks.
I don't watch it exclusively.
No, you said that you searched out the dicks that exclusive.
I'd like to see that.
You want to see the dick I like.
That's what I'm saying.
Absolutely.
I've never searched the porn for the dick.
No, no, no.
I'm not going to not watch a porn with a girl just because the dick is trash.
But if the dick is to my liking, I will enjoy it more.
Yeah.
Duh.
No, but you'll see.
No, don't be the gay guy.
You got no reason.
That kills you.
Fuck, bro.
I was really until double agree.
Well, no, 49% agrees with you.
He might be a little bit on the head.
I 49% agree with him.
But no, listen, you want to make sure everything in the house looks right, you know?
Valid.
That's crazy.
No.
Pick out the couch, pick out the ottoman, you pick out the side chair.
There's not dicks you prefer in porn.
There wasn't a dick where you're like, nah, it's too big.
It's crazy.
Nah.
No.
You can't get too big for you, bro.
If it's white, it doesn't ruin it a little.
No.
But actually, you know, I got the oculus.
And I'm talking about the girl out.
I got the oculus and all the 4D porn.
Like, it was all white dicks.
And that kind of bothered me because when you look down, you see a dick and it looks white.
So it's weird.
And because you came right away?
I mean, it was a little too fast.
You kept trying to go down.
With the oculus, you're looking down at your own white penis.
You're looking down at your white penis, bro.
So you fuck with white dick.
That's even gay.
Nah, that's why I didn't like it.
I just said I didn't like that.
I just can't believe you did it, though.
That sounds interesting.
You can have fucking four subs and shit.
It's lit.
What's back on your couch, dude?
Rick.
Shout out to Rick.
Yo, Rick, you're the GOAT.
We'd love to have you on Flagrant.
Except I didn't like looking at his penis.
He was weak kind of either, but we would love that, would we not?
You don't want to have Rick the lead genes?
Yeah, I don't know this guy.
I'm sorry.
You don't want to earn extra $5,000 a week?
$1 to $5,000?
I'll just let you know.
If they select you, we have to do a video first to see.
And I'm the only male talent here, so we might as well get this video started.
Okay.
You're already on a leather chair.
I got the whole thing memorized, bro.
If you put me in that shitty little room, I can make them videos, though.
You sing along to the full house theme song.
You like know all the words.
Hey, man.
I do that when I'm watching it.
That one to 5,000.
Yeah, yeah.
What I need you to do is start by sucking my dick.
I'm motherfucking.
You start by sucking my car.
The girl goes, right now, right now?
Yeah.
Right now.
That is a crazy way to start, though.
Couldn't start with like getting to know you.
He does.
He asks for the ID.
And then they have to get naked.
He makes him bend over weed.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, I got to check it out.
That's five minutes in the video.
You've seen them out.
I'm fucking with Rick.
Thank you because you like his pad.
Nah, that vein is too big.
What about his body?
His body is weird.
His body's weird, too.
He's up and down.
But I relate to him because he fluctuates a weight.
So that's my guy.
That's the DRZ.
It's like a fighter scene.
How many of you seen?
You know his weight fluctuation.
Nah, I'll treat you like you're not going to be able to do it.
You know you've seen it.
You know you've seen it.
I'm like, oh, he's more heavyweight in this one.
I prefer Frick and Welter.
I prefer Richard Welver.
He's coming against what he's heavyweight.
I don't know.
Yeah, pound for pound, he's just like a really much more competitive.
He's not going at it as well.
You can hear him breathing a little bit.
He's up to heavy, baby.
Slowly, you get on top.
Yeah, it's a lot more ground and pound.
Okay, guys, what else we got?
Do we even complete the last thing?
Yeah, yo, you, so everyone's talking about energy in New York.
Yo, get this by.
Everyone's talking about it.
The energy is wild, bro.
We're a little bit more miserable.
So we can have some fun.
We can definitely have some fun.
So everyone's talking about Olivia Rodrigo, specifically me, about how her album is bodying.
And I know this, Olivia Rodrigo, the best.
A little school shooter best.
Who old is she?
She's 18 years old.
All right, so we can talk.
All right, so you listen to her album.
Female School Shooter Music.
And I was bopping to it this morning in the gym, bro.
This shit's fire.
Deja Vu.
No, is that her song?
Deja Vu.
Yeah, there was another one I was listening to.
This shit is fire, but it's a little bit psycho.
Stop it.
It's fire.
It's not fire.
Nah, nice.
This is just the new age, like the girl who made that Friday or Paramore.
Oh, you think she's right?
Why are black?
Yeah, this is the same type of music.
It's like popcorn pop bullshit.
Popcorn pop bullshit.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I don't listen to that boom bat rat.
Let's go.
You know what I'm saying?
The good old days.
Who's uncle?
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
What's her name?
Olivia Rodrigo?
She's 18 years old.
18 years old.
It's school shooter music.
It's female school shooter music.
And I realized all this, like Adele, all these girls that are scorned by their last man or whatever.
That's what women do instead of shooting up schools.
They just trash the fuck out the man and trash the fuck out the girl that, and he can't have no joy, and neither can the girl that he's with have joy.
The whole time she's here, she's like, oh, you think that all the things that you do with him are unique?
No, bitch, we did them all together.
Oh, shit.
That's real shit.
She said this.
She said this shit.
She said, she's like, oh, now you're all better because of that therapist I got you.
He can't even be better, bitch.
Yo, that's foul.
He can't even be.
Maybe you should go to a therapist, bitch.
You hold on to this.
She's about to shoot some shit up.
Talk to somebody.
Talk to somebody, Olivia Rodrigo.
I don't know her.
Was that the shit you were playing that we were hating on?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she was 20.
Nah, nah, that's fire, though.
No, no, that's fire.
Mark is like fire.
Oh, she's the top seven.
This is new to Mark.
Mark missed all this because he was talking about.
Oh, yeah, you did miss angst.
You missed teenage angst.
Ben Affleck Thirst Trap00:05:58
We had to listen.
That's actually a good point because I'm listening to like grunge now.
Oh, shit.
You'd listen to Avril Levine, bro.
I'm listening to Grunge Now.
The way you talk about Olivia Rodrigo is the way that we talk about Hamilton.
Remember when you made fun of us talking about how fire Hamilton is?
That's what you sound like.
You sound like this talking about Living.
Yeah, but Livia Rodrigo's good.
But remember when you were talking about she has pain, she has emotional trauma.
Yeah, you did say that.
Yeah, you did.
Nah, I can see you being into that.
You did.
I can see you being into that.
And you said you wanted to do this to her fanny lips.
Wait, what?
Get the raspberry going?
Yo, she's 18, dog.
Relax, bro.
Relax, Mark.
You out here looking crazy.
I'm 24.
Nah, but you at 30 years old, so now.
You with grown-ups, bro.
You got it.
Honestly.
Grow up, Mark.
Listen, real talk.
Grow up.
You need to grow up, bro.
What the fuck?
What do you mean?
Grow up, dog.
What's that?
Nah, you need to grow up.
What do I do this two years?
You lucky you got the oldest wife of all of us.
Mark, Mark out here dating older women and shit.
Yeah, dude.
I got this oldest.
That's the crew, bro.
Like, you know what we do?
Oh, yeah.
That shit just dawned upon me.
The old, old 25-year-old.
Isn't that crazy?
I gotta put a pacifier in our girl's mouth before we come through the podcast.
Mark helping his girl on a walker and shit.
Get down the stairs.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
I'm joking.
Some joke, babe.
It's a jokes.
All right.
Old ass women on this podcast, right?
Don't we date some old ass women?
Yo, absolutely.
Old ass women with some old ass fucking tastes.
Nah, speaking of old-ass women, J-Lo and Ben Affleck, they're rekindling this bullshit.
Yeah, then Diddy's trying to hate.
Diddy trying to get it.
Everybody's trying to get in there, bro.
You know what I mean?
He's trying to get his old thing back.
I fuck with that.
Yeah.
That move, that was a fire move.
Just throw back Thursday.
Throw back Thursday, right?
That's what Diddy do?
Yeah, Diddy.
Because Diddy used to split that shit open.
Of course.
Yeah, he was the first.
He was the first of many.
He made her pop.
Whoa.
Yep.
Whoa.
You seen Money Train?
Remember how bad she was in Money Train?
She was bad in Money Train.
Yo, Money Train is a fire movie.
Fire.
What Harrelson's white goat, dog?
That's a white goat.
That is a white goat, that is a white goat.
When did J-Lo make fire music when she was with you?
Never?
No, fuck.
Nah, she got some bangers.
What was her shit?
On the sixth train, you gotta take it to the prongs.
Get yourself some chunkless on the sixth train.
You gotta take it to the proms.
Smoke yourself some hookah.
On the sixth train, you gotta take it to the proms.
Get yourself a little north face that comes up on your dear boy.
And have a baby before you're 17.
In the sixth train, you gotta take it to the promise.
Isn't that her?
That's from In the Heights or some shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
That's a sweet, right?
Yo, her songs are so lit.
Yo, her songs are so lit, right?
Because she's from the Bronx, bro.
Yeah.
No, I didn't know that about her.
You gotta see in the heights.
I thought she was from the Brooklyn.
You gotta see in the heights.
Nah, I've never seen her.
She's from like Jersey or something like that.
Montclair.
She's from Montclair.
Jenny from the block.
Yeah.
This is how annoyed I am with Ayaka.
Just the word block, knowing the chain could come back at it bothered me for that one moment that I said the word.
Yeah.
No.
You just hang tight, buddy.
Bugs him a little bit.
It's going to take a while.
We're going.
God bless.
I'm in.
I'm in forever.
You know me.
Yeah.
Okay.
But okay, do we have any feelings about that?
What do you guys think?
You think listen, first of all, this is what I didn't like about it.
I remember Ben Affleck made headlines like a few months ago when he was like, oh, I remember what the headlines are saying about J-Lo when we were dating and it was just so sexist and misogynistic, the horrible things these reporters are saying.
And I was like, that seems odd from a white guy from Boston.
He wouldn't give a fuck about this.
Guy's worried about getting his Dunkin' Donuts inside.
And then I find out as soon as they break up, he's been trying to holler.
Like, don't use the media and woke up to cut.
He's using woke to try to get pussy, and I hate that.
If anything, I hate that.
Cancel Ben Affleck, yo.
Yo, cancel this motherfucking shit.
And also, he was on a dating app like three weeks ago.
You remember this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I respect that, though.
That's fire.
I like that, Ben Affleck.
Cheating on everybody, getting drunk.
She's doing tattoos and shit.
Yeah, bro.
That's you.
You saw the video where the girl unmatched him?
Yeah, that was fucked up.
What'd you think about that?
Well, I mean, she put it out, right?
Like, she put him on blast.
Give the description away.
Basically, this girl's on.
Do the thing I tell you never to do on stage.
Yeah, I was talking about this business weekend.
I was like, yeah, I could describe it funny.
He goes, no, no more describing.
You're just laying the grinder, bro.
They know.
So basically, this girl's on Tinder.
She matches with Ben Affleck.
And she goes, oh, there's obviously a fake account.
There's no way I just matched with Ben Affleck.
So she unmatched him, and then he sent her a video and goes, Why'd you unmatch me?
It's me.
I'm Ben Affleck.
And then she made a TikTok where she was like, LOL, remember that time I matched with Ben Affleck.
Nobody remembers, bitch.
It happened to just you on your shit.
Yeah, I hate when they didn't remember when shit.
That's so annoying.
I hate it.
Remember when LeBron, you know, gave me his shirt after the game?
Don't remember.
Nobody knows anything about your life.
That's the point of the that's Olivia Rodrigo music.
That's Olivia Rodrigo.
Olivia Rodrigo music.
Okay, Mark.
So, so go on.
So then basically, she puts out the video, puts him on blast, and is like, yo, I match him half like he was mad thirsty.
And she looks stupid and he looks all right.
I don't think you look bad.
Ain't nothing wrong with being thirsty, bro.
Why'd you unmatch me from regular?
It's me.
That's great.
But yo, regular bitches look way better than Hollywood ones.
I'm telling you, all these actresses.
Yeah, but you're gonna be thirsty over J-Lo.
Don't be thirsty over some chicken up on Eastside.
You don't know what that girl looks like.
Air Conditioning For Pussy00:03:35
Roommates.
That girl probably hadn't been engaged 12 times.
Like you, we all know that, girl.
You all see that girl?
You know what?
That line won me over.
Glasses and everything.
The whole aesthetic.
I will say this.
It's fuck for air conditioning season is upon us.
And ladies, ladies, treat yourself better, bro.
Treat yourself better.
This is a PSA from Chelsea to you.
Treat yourself better, okay?
Don't be fucking no dude because it's June in New York City.
You don't have air conditioning in your shitty apartment.
You share with seven other roommates.
Go home, okay?
Go home.
Do not fuck a dude just because he got AC.
Fuck him because you love him.
Fuck him because you got something to build with him.
Fuck him because you might think that he's a great fuck, but not for air conditioning.
Or fuck a guy who will buy you an air conditioning.
Piece of shit for all the single guys trying to get some pussy out here, yo.
Yeah.
You don't want no girl who's fucking for air conditioning, bro.
You depend single motherfucker.
Yeah, dude.
What you mean?
Dumped in fucking great AC right now.
Yeah.
I done got chlamydia from a girl who needed air conditioning.
Okay.
Now both of us need to get cool time.
Bitch, there's a reason you're so hot because your pussy on fire, bitch.
Okay?
Needs an air conditioning for your pussy.
Oh, man.
It's summertime in New York.
Motherfuckers are going to be fucking out here.
Oh, it's going to be a wild ass.
You can feel it in the streets.
Yeah.
You can feel it in the streets.
There's going to be some miserable motherfuckers.
I don't know.
It's just, there's an energy, man.
Everything's been, we've been held pent up for a year.
You think this is going to help incels?
Is it going to be easier for them to fuck?
I don't know.
I think they still got it.
The hardest thing for them is leaving the house.
The hardest thing for them is the social anxiety.
And I think that it's actually going to make, I think this year was the easiest for them because it was their comfort zone.
Everybody was home.
I think it's actually going to make them even worse because they're going to see everybody out having the greatest time and they are going to still be in their parents' basement.
I think it's going to be incel season as well.
It's going to be the Roaring 20s, but it's also going to be some wild fucked up.
No, it's going to be some fucked ups.
It's going to be both.
Yeah.
We're seeing it already.
Yeah.
Do you see this shit in Miami?
What happened?
What happened?
Oh, yo, as soon as we left, there's a mass shooting.
That was weird.
I didn't understand what happened.
Where?
All the details aren't out necessarily.
But like, basically, what I understand, I can look up where it was.
But basically, there's like two this week.
There was like a rap concert.
There was like a hip-hop night at like a club.
Okay.
And then people got there.
Okay.
They got out of like just a regular car, like three guys, and they just started indiscriminately shooting into like a crowd of people waiting to get in.
So that was definitely, from the looks of it, is probably like a hit.
They were going for one person, but it just so happened there was a line outside of people trying to get in.
So what kind of lazy ass shit is that?
20 people got hit.
Go inside.
Two people died.
They're not the most hardwapping people.
I mean, they're so drugs in gangs.
Yeah, and it's like, it's harder to get in with your guns.
You can't get in with your guns.
Oh, yeah.
You got to hit him before he gets in.
I mean, you're trying to.
Y'all invented a drive-by shooting.
It's not a drive-by mass shooting.
That's some white people's shit.
You guys are getting very white on programming.
That's what I'm saying.
You guys are appropriate on the shit.
You didn't even drive.
You parked the car and got out.
It's the angst.
Everybody wants to get back out.
They couldn't even wait.
Yeah, man.
That's a white privilege way to kill.
That is a white privileged way to kill Al.
And then even at that mall.
Wait, they called it a mass shooting?
Yeah.
That's the first time they called some black people doing shit a mass shooting.
Interesting.
I actually don't know if they were, if they were black or not.
Nah, but there was a shooting at the mall.
Aventura Mall.
We were on our way there.
What?
The shooting was shut down.
That one I'm cool with.
It was my friend.
You went through that.
It was a dispute.
Nah, that wasn't as bad.
Like three people got injured, I think, but it was like they were all having a dispute with each other.
Mac Weldon Underwear Basics00:04:10
About what?
And then we don't know.
But I'm literally on my way there.
And then a guy's on an elevator with me dressed up mad sharp.
I'm like, hey, buddy, looking sharp.
He's like, oh, appreciate it getting married today.
And I'm like, oh, that's dope.
Congrats.
He goes, yeah, man, they shut down the venue.
I'm like, what?
Nice.
They shut down the fucking venue.
What's going on?
And then he's like, they had a mash shooting at Aventura Mall.
We're near that.
They shut down everything.
I'm on my way to the middle.
He got married in the mall?
Near the mall, which is fucking Kanye lyrics.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lesson learned, man.
Yeah, that's crazy, man.
Wow.
You really are Southern, though.
Just out here giving random dudes compliments and shit like that.
That's some Southern shit.
Yeah, we are nice people.
A man was dressed sharp.
But I will say this, though.
That happened in Florida.
And Florida's been open.
Yep.
So it's not like it's a reaction to things just opening up.
Oh, no, no.
It's going to happen as soon as it opens anywhere.
And you can't stay shut down forever.
This shit going to happen, though.
Yeah, that's.
It's going to be a couple of weeks.
We're going to get like numb to it.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
We are numb to it.
That's the crazy thing, man.
I mean, it's just so fucking crazy how numb we are to everything.
Like the UFO shit, everybody coming out.
I think we were talking about this.
I don't know if it was on the pod or maybe it was off the pod.
We were just talking about it.
Idiots.
Oh, it was on idiots.
Yeah.
It's like, we're so fucking numb.
Like, everybody's coming out.
They got all these politicians.
They even selling Obama.
Obama.
Please tell motherfuckers there's aliens.
Just go out there.
And we don't care.
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UFOs And Epstein Secrets00:08:59
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Now, let's get back to this.
We don't care if there's aliens, we don't care that they basically just admitted that the security guards for Epstein.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Oh, the security guards for Epstein were basically convicted of not checking on Epstein the night that he got killed.
We all knew they weren't, but and then they got community service for it because, like, they were willing to like work on the like, you're like, We'll work on the case.
Yeah, sure, you're gonna work on the investigation.
You're being investigated by the motherfuckers that know exactly what happened.
Yeah, come on, bro.
But, how crazy is that?
Like, this happened.
We have them basically admitting, going, Yeah, we fucked up.
Well, now we fucked up, but yeah, we didn't check on him the night that he uh committed suicide.
Yeah, yeah, and we don't care.
I think the deal is like, what would have been the?
I'm sorry, I think the deal with them is like they were basically like, yo, shut your mouth, don't say anything about it, don't do a book, don't do a movie, because I think a lot of people have been trying to get them and be like, Yo, explain what happened.
So, I think the deal is like, Yo, we'll give you a less percentage, just shut your mouth.
That's awesome, but how are they?
So, what would have been the charges?
Uh, the charge was negligence for their job because essentially they were just there watching TV.
Yeah, and there is a chance that this is what they did, like, they didn't actually go check on the sale every half hour.
Trust me, that's how that's not you, that's how it happens in the correction.
So, so, yeah, but if it's Epstein, you know, you got to check on this.
And if someone's on Suicide Watch, maybe they don't give a fuck about this.
So, this is what I think they were editing a podcast.
So, this is interesting because Al's got perspective on this because Al used to do this, not corrections.
I used to court, right?
And where he was being held used to work, yeah, right?
He used to work at the tombs.
We called the Tombs.
What's it called?
Uh, I mean, I think New Yorker still refers to it as a tomb, but uh, Manhattan Correctional Facility.
Okay, so that's where he's being held, and so it is common that officers or corrections officers or the whatever the security guards there won't do the rounds because you're like, they're locked up.
What the fuck is really gonna happen?
Yada, yada, yada, or you do it a few times a night.
Now, that being said, it feeds the conspiracy if we all believe they didn't do it on purpose.
Yeah, and we kind of all want to believe the conspiracy because it's so fucking absurd.
And at this point, you got to believe something.
Yeah, some part of this conspiracy is right.
Yeah, it might not be all of it, but some part, if you deny every single part of it, you're a fuckface.
Yeah, the official story is wrong.
We just don't know which thing is wrong.
Exactly.
So, now every new bit of information that comes out feels like it further confirms the conspiracy.
Oh, these two officers were in on it.
They knew that this was happening the whole time, and that's why they neglected to check.
When the average corrections officer is like, Man, we don't ever be checking on these motherfuckers, especially if it's at night.
We're watching something on Netflix.
Fuck these guys.
So, it's tricky, man.
Or what if now they know we don't care?
So, they're just like, let out everything that people have been dying to know.
You're not going to give a fuck.
Maybe get used to it because we're all so ready to get out.
Aliens are here, and we're like, Yeah, but whatever.
There's outside, their places are open.
Let's go eat.
We don't care about aliens, we don't care about the Epstein shit.
What the fuck do we care about?
We care about getting back outside and seeing people.
We just want to party.
You're right now, is the time to tell us whatever they fucking need to tell us.
Tell us what happened to JFK.
Yo, tell us about the Eddie.
What else is there?
Oh, uh, uh, I saw, I think there was a former FBI agent says they know the person who shot Biggie.
Tell us that shit behind you, but uh, yeah, R.I.P. But like, tell us that they know the person, but they won't release the name because it's like something in conjunction with the LAPD and they gotta shut up.
Yeah, all right.
Well, boom.
Tell us about Biggie.
Tell us about Toronto.
Moonlanding.
Tell us about Moon Landing.
Tell us about all this shit.
It's lit.
I'm with it.
We don't care.
We just want to be outside.
We're going to yell out right now.
We'll care about it later.
Did you?
This annoyed me.
He always annoys me, but King Dork, Neil deGrasse Tyson, was on Rogan.
Yeah, yeah.
And Rogan put him in his place, bro.
That shit was so fucking beautiful.
Because they would start talking about UFOs.
And you know, King Dork is a bahumbug about everything.
He got like rain on everybody's parade.
That's his fucking view.
Just his bit.
I know.
So fucking annoying.
And he goes, he says this.
Here's my issue with UFOs.
He's so dismissive of everything that he doesn't agree with.
It's preposterous.
You don't even bring it up to him.
Because here's my thing with the UFOs.
It's like, why would an advanced alien species be interesting about us?
What is so interesting about us?
It's arrogant to even think that they would even care what we have going on here.
And Joe.
Sorry, go, go, go, go.
We got people to study ants, bro.
Like, literally, we go to the fucking forest and we look at bugs and we go, look at this bug.
And it does nothing.
We go like, we invented a new bug.
Yes.
Jellyfish, we study.
We study trees.
We study leaves.
We go.
Lazy justification to say, I don't necessarily believe it.
It's just so lazy to and to condescend and make you feel bad about yourself.
What makes you think you're so important?
It's so patronizing and so arrogant to assume that if something is of no interest to you, then it should be of no interest to anybody.
Why do you care about stars, motherfucker?
Yeah, like what's so special about stars?
Dork, yeah, it's gas, bro.
Little specks in the sky.
Can't do nothing.
Never gonna.
Matter of fact, the shit you're studying ain't even around no more.
It's gone by the time it reaches us, stupid.
You study some shit that don't even exist.
Like UFOs, you fucking idiot.
I'm so annoyed by this guy.
But Joe basically said to me, He's like, why would they not be interested?
We can nuke the world a thousand times over.
We have tiny disputes that end up in massive fights, wars.
We have fucking Holocaust.
How do they do that to Elliot Page?
I would travel to that.
We have Game of Thrones.
Game of Thrones.
We create these movies, stories.
He goes, there's so many things that are so unbelievably fascinating.
We're so lit.
We're actually fascinating.
It's so interesting.
At any point in time, we can press one button and then there's no more of any of us on the world anymore.
And we don't.
And he does this long spiel.
And I was like, yes, put that motherfucking dork in his place.
One of the most interesting, just Neil deGrasse Tyson is boring as fuck, and he's confusing himself with us.
And to your point about how we study boring shit, we're interested in what Neil deGrasse Tyson got to say.
You want to think aliens be interested in what human beings have to say when people listen to you.
You, you robot.
You got to say some shit, and we're like, oh, that's interesting.
So true, man.
It just made me feel so good for Rogan to get because that's also like, if you could talk about some science shit, nobody's fucking with a scientist.
Neil degrased an actual scientist.
But the second they got in that UFO thing, now you're in Rogan's wheelhouse.
Right?
Now you're in the unprovable.
If you want to go into the provable shit, that's you.
But the unprovable, buckle up, boy.
Well, it's been proven they exist.
Well, it's UFOs, but we don't know if it's aliens.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
But we don't know what the fuck it was.
Why do you think we just don't care?
You really think we just want to go outside?
Isn't it also equally arrogant to say this entire universe exists just for us?
That's some white people's shit.
Like, you think this whole space exists and it's just ours?
We just get to send rockets wherever the fuck we want to, and that's our land.
I don't, I don't think he's not a good point.
We put an American flag on the moon.
Bruh, shit is mad arrogance.
Yeah, that's we can just go to Mars.
Send a roll over to Mars.
Why?
We own the moon, bro.
That's kind of lit, though.
Like, we got their first.
That's arrogant.
Don't talk about arrogance when we're when that's equally as arrogant.
I think that like their feeling is, I think Musk subscribes to this as well.
Is we don't have any proof that they've come here, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist.
And the probability is that they do exist because there's just so many outcomes.
That's fair.
But we don't have any real proof that they've been here.
And even with the UFO footage, this shit is always mad grainy.
Everyone's got an iPhone now.
Yeah, how the fuck is that far?
Footage back in the 90s is like, oh, I get it.
Like, now you got to zoom.
10 people mad far, it should get grainy.
I guess, but that makes sense.
When you're doing a lot of this, they're doing a lot of this on their phone.
You know what I mean?
I've seen World Star videos.
Zoom.
Don't zoom.
Then let me get this shit just regular.
But then it just looked like a little spot.
Okay.
And then you be like, hey, I'm okay with the moving spot.
What, Al?
Nah, but I mean, it makes sense for the video to be grainy.
Like, if the fucking shits are in the atmosphere, it's not like they're flying on the same distance where planes are and shit like that.
So they're gonna, it's gonna be grainy.
Here to here, you get a clear-ass picture.
Thousand, ten thousand, however many feet away, you ain't getting no clear picture.
You gotta zoom.
Yeah, zoom as fuck if your video is grainy, bro.
iPhone 10.
Yeah.
Get a 12.
I don't know how to step it up.
Y'all got to step it up.
Yeah, you got one camera to get on.
You got one camera?
Yeah.
Get rid of the grain, bro.
Like, that should be what they do.
So you don't think it's UFO because it's grainy?
I don't think it's UFO.
I think it's our shit.
And I think that we're just trying to posture.
Like, I think we made these things, and this is us to other countries going, we don't know what it is, but other countries are like, well, we know it ain't us.
Do these motherfuckers got some crazy flying shit?
All right, let me not fuck with that.
Oh, that's fine.
That's what I think it is.
And then China's just like, ha ha ha.
The game is we buy things now.
It's not who got the fancy planes, fam.
The game is we buy things.
Yeah.
And whoever buys the most shit wins.
So print some more money, motherfuckers.
Like, let's start buying, bro.
Government Labs And Leaks00:10:41
I don't know.
What else?
What else we got going, man?
A couple more.
Okay, so this one was interesting.
The people, especially people on the right, got fired up.
Are you about to do what I think you're about to do?
Fauci?
Oh, no.
What's that?
But the Fauci shit?
Yeah, yeah.
They're about to toss them.
Why?
Oh, matter of fact, a couple things are happening right now.
The Wuhan lab leak is going to be the story over the next couple weeks.
I think your boy Fauci was testifying in front of Congress and about his role in it.
But he always said there's no way that this is a lab leak at all.
This is it was caused by a bat and these COVID viruses come from bats, right?
And I don't know about all this shit, but in the next couple of weeks, we should probably have an expert come on and explain it to you guys.
You know, someone who really knows the ins and outs of all these situations.
I mean, it's definitely not true, and we're not saying it's factual, but they might have some interesting things to say.
That's all I'll say about that.
But this is going to be the big story because it looks like the Biden administration is throwing Fauci under the bus.
They got him on the hot seat.
And he was the darling of the Democrats before, right?
So if it comes out, because most of what happened was there are a few people who worked at the Wuhan lab.
Yeah.
And they got sick in November and had to be hospitalized, right?
And then China, of course, covering that shit up.
Yep.
Right.
But if it does turn out that this shit came from a lab in China and Wuhan specifically, I need my apology, yo.
I need my apology from all the bloggers that call me racist for calling that shit the Chinese flu, the Wuhanic plague, who said I was racist for putting out a thing blaming China for the virus.
If the shit literally comes from government-funded labs in China and they let it leak, which was not what we were doing, we were just being hyperbolic and we were joking around.
It was an absolute fucking joke.
But you call me racist.
But if we end up being right in our joke, I need an official apology, yo, because you took our joke serious.
So now if the serious thing is accurate, I'm going to need the apology.
And I'm going to need it to be just as loud as the criticism, yo.
Do we not need an apology for that?
We lost a sponsor over that bitch-ass motherfucking sponsor.
I'm going to need an apology from them and lost wages, yo.
I'm going to need lost wages, yo, before I sue.
I love it.
I'm going to sue.
I'm going to sue for.
I'm going to sue.
What is that shit called?
Slander?
Slander.
Yeah, some shit.
Libel slander, defamation.
Yeah, oh, yo, hit him.
Hit him with it.
Get suing, bro.
Let's get it going, dog.
Stop suing.
Let's get the lawsuit machine going.
Here, I was just thinking I was trying to be racist.
Turns out I'm right.
It turns out I'm right.
Every time.
Every time I'm trying to be racist, turns out I'm right.
Yeah, just look at the numbers.
Statistics.
It's just raw numbers.
I took my wallet and I put it in the other pocket, and it turns out he was trying to steal my wallet.
I was right, guys.
It's called a hunch.
Yo, hunches, bro.
But we'll have someone here to describe what they think is really going on.
But if that's true, why is economic sanctions on China so fucking crazy?
Because we pussy, bro.
That's the thing.
I don't understand it.
We pussy.
I don't get it.
And everybody doesn't even acknowledge as a possible.
You don't got to go to war with them.
But if they're thriving from a pandemic that leaked from one of their labs, I'm not saying fuck you or whatever.
I mean, I'm saying it, but you could just be like, yo, we just can't fuck with you for a while.
You got to have some kind of punishment for that.
Because that caused a global pandemic.
Can we be honest, yo?
Then they're going to throw sanctions back on us.
There's no way any sanctions of ours can affect how much they consume of ours.
So you make some type of government sanctions.
But we can stand up.
And they'll cancel Hollywood.
Here's the thing what we need to do.
Here's the thing we need to do.
And this is what we should have done.
Hollywood canceled, dog.
The motherfuckers are going broke.
In the same way we sanction, what we should do is we should build up.
First of all, we got to get rid of democracy in India.
That was working on it.
They're working on it.
Good.
They should.
Get rid of democracy because it can't get to where we need it to be.
Fast enough.
Fast enough.
Because if you had a dictator, if you had like a Singaporean-type system, and I understand it's very different.
Singapore is barely a fucking city.
It's so tiny.
And you're talking about one of the largest countries in the world in terms of population.
I think it's number one.
Number one.
Okay.
So it's much different.
I'm not saying it's possible, but the democratic process, one of the good things about it is it grinds slowly, right?
And the bad thing about it is because it grinds fucking slowly.
So if you had a dictator that could just organize some shit in India so that we could put all those jobs over there, we could start building these factories, we start executing things that we need to execute in a timely manner, then we take away some of the power of China.
Would you do the honor?
I will.
I will be the dictator of India.
I'm in it.
I'm in.
Let's go.
I will be the dictator of India.
What position is Akash up?
Akash is in my cabinet.
And what am I?
You're also in my cabinet.
Alex?
Team China, sorry.
He's probably going to turn down.
Well, Alex is at the Chinese pool party.
Wow, he couldn't make it.
Oh, sorry.
Couldn't make it to the cabinet.
Plot bottles over there, son.
They celebrating wins.
All right, so now that we're leading India, what do we do?
Well, there's a couple things that we have to do.
We have to stop the rapes.
Yeah.
No, no, first they got to stop is the shit spreading on themselves.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
Well, that's what the women were doing to stop the rapes.
I don't know what to do.
What do you think the difference is?
You thought that they were doing that for fun, bro?
So they're trying to get these guys out there.
What about the dudes who are doing it?
What, what?
The guys that are.
They be raping guys out there, too, bro.
Anybody could get it.
Yo, friction is friction to dude.
You got to do that.
They're doing an anal anyways.
Anyways, bro, make the snake rise, bro.
That's all they care about.
Fuss out the flute.
It's time to get kids.
Yeah.
But yeah, so we need to start that.
Number one.
What about the farmers?
How are you going to settle that?
We got to settle the farmers.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
We got to do that.
Settle it.
You know what I mean?
I think I have a great solution to settle in.
We're going to go settle on their land.
Dove, calm down.
Calm down.
Everybody chill out.
No, no, but we have to settle up.
We have to settle with the farmers.
And let them farm, bro.
Let them farm.
Let them settle.
Honestly, I want them to farm.
We're going to switch the things that they farm.
We got it.
We got to say again?
Tech.
No.
Farming?
Crypto.
Not crypto?
Oh, that's mining.
That's mining.
We're not going to let them mine.
But we have to let them farm things that we think would be useful, right?
Things that we can use.
Correct.
They need to make fleshlights.
You give every guy a fleshlight.
Oh, I got one step better.
Attach a fleshlight to cattle.
Strippy fucking cattle.
That's everything they love.
Dude, you have a cow.
You can't love cows.
You're not touching the cow.
You're cutting the fleshlight.
Why can't if you love cows, why can't you make them feel good?
Yeah.
How you doing?
That's a real rapist logic.
If you love women, why can't you make them feel good?
That's what I'm saying.
You asked the cow for lovers, bro.
The karma sutra.
You got cow in the cows.
Karma Sutra, bro.
The calm sutra is interesting, but I don't think they would touch the cow even had fleshlight.
They can't disrespect the cow.
They can't rip a woman, but they can't rip a cow.
This bitch has got to start dressing up as cows, bro.
Literally, give women cow costumes.
We just saw the rape done.
Give women cow costumes.
I like that solution.
Cow costumes for all the women.
That's the solution.
Farmers, okay?
Do we want the farmers to stop farming?
Or what do we want?
Let them farm, baby.
No, no, what is the goal?
How do we help them?
Do they want to not farm?
They want to farm.
They want to farm.
And then what's the issue?
Tax or something like that.
I already forgot.
Wow.
I already forgot.
You already forgot.
I already forgot, bro.
This is your king.
This is your king.
I be forgetting.
I already forgot.
This is your king right here, yo.
I'd be forgetting.
India, this is your king right here, yo.
I got crap raised.
It's embarrassing.
You put on your story every day for months.
Now y'all understand why I get so upset about crypto when he be talking shit because I know he knows nothing.
He knows nothing.
I got a lunch about these.
I got a lunch about these farmers.
They on to something, yo.
He's like, I think they farm.
He invested five grand.
He invested five grand into them.
That's wild.
No, five grand for COVID.
I do not know what the fuck is going on.
This is why he'd be pissing me off, bro.
You're out of the cabinet, bro.
You're out.
You can't leave India.
You might be out of the cabinet now, dog.
Son, that's wild, son.
They want their minimum support pricing back.
I've remembered.
That's what I said.
That's what it is.
He just dumped it.
Pressure makes diamonds.
Pressure makes diamonds.
I was like, God damn, how are we backing farmers?
Move on to COVID killing everybody.
I got to give the fucking farmers again.
Shit.
That's wild.
Let's give the guys their farming prices.
I mean, give them their MSP.
That's it.
Yeah.
I remember now.
Give them corn.
Okay.
Okay.
If they farm corn, that solves it.
Did they farm corn?
Yeah.
Okay, let's give them some corn.
Let's give them corn.
Can we give them corn?
That's what happened in America.
They just all farm corn and everybody's good now.
Just put corn and everything.
Yeah.
Corn syrup.
Corn syrup.
Ethanol, ethanol, corn syrup.
They also have grits.
On the cob?
On the cob.
On the cob is liddy.
Cream of.
That's also dope.
Canned.
People do a lot with corn.
Start making tortilla chips.
Native Americans got to give us a little bit of respect for what we did to corn.
Fritters.
Oh, they got pitas.
No, no, that's not corn.
What's the other one?
Tacos.
Mexicans got the tacos.
Tacos, acorns at lit.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's it.
Indians were messing with little tiny corns.
What's the bread that you break to eat the food?
Non?
None.
None.
Yeah.
Start, switch that to corn.
So it's that to corn.
Real total.
Also, corn way healthier for your diet.
It is.
You don't eat corn.
I'm not healthy.
But I also don't eat none.
That's one of your biggest things.
No, I eat a little bit of corn.
If I have to eat corn, I will.
But I try to not eat corn.
Because that shit is horrible for you.
Don't let them do corn.
Do you do eat corn?
No, I don't.
Whenever we're doing it, what's the reason why I don't do flour over flour?
I do corn over flour.
Why is corn bad for you?
I don't, people keep telling me this.
I don't eat it.
It's been too chemically engineered.
Yeah.
I saw this documentary called.
Bro, your body doesn't even absorb it.
You ever eat corn?
Yeah, shit it right out.
Yeah, it's just corn this weekend.
It's plastic food.
It's not real.
No nutrition.
It's kind of fun to see your digestive cycle, though.
Yeah.
I'll sometimes throw some corn in there just to know when I'm like how long it takes you to pull.
Exactly.
I do that shit, too.
Yeah, just kind of know, like, where am I at?
Oh, two days.
How do we even get into this?
Blue Origin And Corn Diet00:08:58
Oh, because we're dictating what China take over China.
Oh, the Fauci shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then I think we got to get our money over there to India, bro.
I'm talking that, man.
Like, Europe, Europe.
How many Indians we got in Europe?
How many Indians we got in America?
Like, we love Indians.
We fuck with Indians, bro.
That's true.
You know what I mean?
There's never been a stop Indian hate ever.
Even when we did hate y'all, we didn't even mean to.
Yeah, it was on accident.
We got it wrong.
We were too stupid.
Miscommunication difference.
It's just a miscommunication.
Complete miscommunication.
That's true.
So we love Indians, bro.
That's a good point.
We're lovable.
Y'all are the most lovable.
No matter where they go, people love them, bro.
Think about that.
We have nothing to do with that.
We're not building back Pakistani.
Whereas we're absorbing Pakistani.
We're taking Pakistan back.
We're giving Pakistan back to India, son.
Yeah, we don't regret this.
I'll be honest with the country.
It's not a country anymore.
Pakistan?
It's not India.
Way better when it was India.
If I'm being honest, Volga just posted a laptop sounding quickly.
Yo, y'all fell off, bro.
Y'all fell off.
Just take them back, call them Indians.
Yo, I think we got to take it back.
I don't recognize Pakistan.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
We're Taiwaning them.
Where's John Cena when you need him?
He's going to be up there.
Dibble Dabbles, Dippin'.
Dibble Dabbles, Dibbil, Dibble.
Pakistani.
Debil Dabil.
Hindustan.
Debil Dabil.
Pakistani.
Debil Dabil.
Hindustan.
I'm sorry.
Okay, so we got the solution.
What else, sons?
What else?
I know I got one more.
All right, this one was interesting.
Oh, I got one.
I got last one.
Last one, you fucked boys.
Bunch of fucking Elliott.
Is this rhetorical when you ask me?
No, no, no.
It gives me enough time to remember.
You seen Jeff Bezos get bailed out with the little punk ass?
No.
So Jeff Bezos about to get bailed out.
It hasn't been confirmed yet by the Senate.
Where do you get these stories from?
Son, this shit is big, bro.
So Jeff Bezos about to get a $10 billion bailout for his failed trip to the moon agency.
I say, fuck that too.
Eat that.
You lost.
People start businesses every day that fail.
Keep going, bro.
Keep going.
You have any restaurants shut down during the COVID-19?
Okay, do I need to set it up or everybody knows what I'm talking about?
I have no idea, but I'm in.
Okay, so Blue Horizon.
I have a hunch.
I have a hunch about this.
You don't know strongly about this.
I know he got this one.
I know he got this one.
Nah, bro.
I didn't want to fucking bail out, dog.
So check this.
So Blue Horizon was Jeff Bezos' SpaceX.
Right.
And they were both fighting for a government contract for about $10 billion, which is like the new fucking frontier.
I'm the Endless Frontier Act or whatever.
It was basically like, yo, here's some money, smart motherfuckers, make some shit, and hopefully we can use it.
Boom.
SpaceX won because their bid for the contract was like way less.
I believe.
You can look it up just to make sure, but I believe it was way less.
Bezos' company fails.
Failed.
They spent $635,000 lobbying Congress to let them do it.
There was one fucking contract out, and now they're proposing another bill to let there be two contracts so that he doesn't have to lose out on that 10-billy for Blue Horizon.
Now, there's two ways to look at it.
One is you lost, fam.
Now keep going.
Wait, wait, wait.
One second.
How did he lose $10 billion?
He just lost the contract.
He lost out on the contract.
But he never spent that money yet.
No, but I think he spent a certain amount of money on Blue Horizon and building that up to get to the point where they could go, we could do it for this amount.
So he put money up for Blue Horizon.
He just didn't win a bid.
Okay, okay, right?
So I can read my notes here if you want.
Go ahead.
It's fine.
No, no, we all just say page down.
All right, Basil's space flight company, blue.
You know, you could add these to the notes.
Yeah, you're right.
Blue Origin.
Blue Origin.
My bad.
It's cut.
Blue Origin.
Oh my God, bro.
You sound like Akash with the farmer originally.
Bro, have a hunch in your life.
Yeah, but I'm not from space.
You know what I'm saying?
If I was from space, I'd know some shit about it.
Nah, bro.
This shit gets tricky.
He might be from space, bro.
I'll be completely honest.
Yeah, I might be, dogs.
Whatever.
You and Elon.
Basically, who gives a fuck?
It's Blue Origin.
Anyway, isn't that fucked up that he gets bailed out?
Yo, if your business failed, it failed.
Do y'all know what I'm talking about or not?
I don't know.
Nobody knows what you're talking about.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Nah, bro.
I'm with you.
I got a hunch, yo.
I got a hunch.
Yeah, go.
I get lost.
He's not getting bailed out, though.
Yeah, he is.
They just making a second one.
You're the little one.
That shit was like a finger roll.
That was a finger roll.
Put some English on that shit.
I just went.
I just was super slick.
It was a little like you didn't even notice it.
If you didn't catch it, you didn't see it.
But that one hurt my testicle the most, bro.
My testicles are not ready for that little slappy-tappy.
Okay, go.
I can't stare at this sandwich no more.
So that shit looks so delicious.
My stomach is crumbling.
Oh, so you want to see my kicks?
That's no, go, go.
Look, every.
I got lost.
I was going to say, look, kick, click, went.
Oh, my God.
That shit looks so good.
It's amazing.
I want to fuck where the egg and the cheese are.
It's right in front of me.
So you look at two days.
Go, go.
Yo, I understand if you need to bail out.
Like, we have bankruptcy laws in America to encourage capitalism.
Yep.
But if we're not bailing out every fucking restaurant that failed, you know how many things you, how many businesses you could fail out, bail out for $10 billion?
And we're all about small business in America, right?
So instead of bailing them out, letting their restaurants, whatever stores crumble during Corona, economy crumbling during Corona, unemployment all-time high, you bail out the richest human being in the world, maybe second now.
He gets 10 billion.
I don't give a fuck.
Yo, if Pepsi fails and they have fucking Crystal Pepsi, they're not like, oh, hey, here's money for Crystal Pepsi.
Nah, you're still good.
You're good.
And I can also even understand a bank is too big to fail.
I can understand an airline is too big to fail because if those go away, we're all fucked.
But a space company ain't too big to bail out.
Blue Origin.
We don't give a fuck.
We're fine without it.
We didn't know it existed until this moment.
Okay, I got a different argument.
If we don't bail him out, then he's going to pay us back by being like, oh, yeah, you thought your packages are going to come in two days?
Fuck it, three days now.
Oh, I'm not to the title.
My ball is right here.
So you can't be saying packies right here.
What'd you say, dog?
Yeah.
He said, pack what?
The package.
But it's going to come in.
Disrespectful.
You want to pronounce India.
India.
What don't you get about this?
We're taking the farmer, man.
For the farmers.
That's what they said the whole thing is about land.
That's what the farmers are about.
Okay, go.
So you think you're not going to give us our packages?
Yeah.
He'll take it out on us.
The motherfucker spent $8.5 billion on MGM.
8.5.
You know, MGM?
Yeah.
The movie studio or whatever?
Yeah.
8.5.
Dramatic effect.
I guess it's nobody.
He said it.
And they gave me a look, too.
Like, yeah, you little bitch.
It's 8.5.
What do you even know about 8.5?
Your trunk doesn't even close.
Mark calls out Lil P.
He got one more hat.
I die.
That shit is too funny.
It's like when he calls you a nerd, you just get pissed off.
You are a nerd, though.
How do you know about 8.5?
Oh, I was looking at Elon Musk's numbers.
Fucking dork.
Oh, I'm looking at space travel, fucking nerd.
You're a gay nerd.
Oh, my God.
He's like, hold up, let me check my calling.
I was watching the Jetsons and technically, it's not possible for origin, blue origin to work.
So you saw him run out of information on the Jetsons because you know he never seen that show in his fucking life.
I have seen it.
I haven't seen that show.
I have seen it.
The Jetson children are like, oh, my God.
I'm going to see it in two years because we got self-flying cars already coming.
Am I right?
Let's go.
That's an alliance.
Don't let it.
That's an alliance.
That's an alliance.
Jetson, let me realize.
All right, one more topic because I got to eat something.
I'm starving to go.
I'm dying, y'all.
I'm dying.
Go, say the topic you've been dying to fucking say, you fucking dork.
Don't hit the same.
Chill out.
That's my shit.
That's my shit.
Yo, that hurt him for real.
That hurt him for real.
That's your body.
We're editing that.
That was too far, bro.
Yo, you fucking nerd.
I hate you.
Performative Wokeness Interviews00:06:24
Oh, you want a topic?
You fucking dork.
You want a topic?
You want the next one, huh?
I hate y'all, bro.
I hate y'all so much.
How are you going to go next time?
We back, baby.
New York.
I'm about to go eat right now.
So I'm dying.
Yo, if China wanted to buy this podcast, would you sell it to him?
Hell yeah.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Come on.
What's second bidder?
India.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, how much less Taiwan?
How much less is a second bidder offering?
Nah, we're not selling, bro.
Did China?
Fuck China, bro.
500.
Yeah, yeah.
They're offering 500.
They're offering 500 million.
China said $500 million for the podcast.
Nah.
Come on.
I'm speaking Mandarin.
I'm eating Mandarins.
Eating Mandarin.
Got going to Panda Express.
Or we talk about Mary Lori Lightfoot only giving interviews to non-white journalists.
Ooh, did you see this?
Yeah, I saw this.
That's fire.
But it wasn't like, what did she say?
There was like a two-thing minimum or something like that.
Yeah, it was basically like one-on-one interviews.
Yeah.
Specifically in like this period of time, she's only doing white.
And there was only two.
There was only two that she was going to give out.
Yeah.
Like the headline is far crazier than what the actual story was.
But it's the perfect headline to get like, especially conservative Twitter and conservative YouTube absolutely furious.
Because it's preposterous what she's saying.
She's only giving out interviews for people of color.
It's the exact fear of all like these white people who are going, they're taking away our lifestyle.
They're taking away our culture.
It's illegal to be white in America.
What the fuck is going on here?
But what is the whole context?
Were the interviews about a specific topic that had to do with people of color?
Not necessarily.
So like something like crying.
Just look at the numbers, you know?
No, but it's basically like looking at her two-year mayoral anniversaries coming up.
And so some people are just like, oh, she's like kind of politicking because these one-on-one interviews that she's about to do with these people, she wants them to be generally positive.
And so if she's able to get people interviews based off of like some sort of special privilege, they might be more lenient with her.
So she's not even doing this to be woke.
She's doing it to protect herself.
There's one thing that I caught in the article Mark Linked, which made it seem like performative wokeness.
Because they interviewed the post that they interviewed journalists of multiple races.
And they said, other journalists.
Y'all going to let him read his notes and he don't get made fun of?
Who agreed with?
Y'all going to let him read his notes.
He is a dork.
The funny thing is.
This isn't fair.
How come I get made fun of?
That's done.
That isn't fair.
You're silencing white man.
Only people of color can have notes, okay?
Fucking only comedians of color.
I just got fully cucked, bro.
First episode back, they're gonna cuck me, dude.
Archons is a cock, bro.
Comedian color.
That's true.
I'm a cock, bro.
I'm a little cock.
Okay.
I'm a little cock.
I'm a little cock.
Okay, keep that.
They said multiple journalists of color who spoke to the post said that when they tried to question Lightfoot on her administration on issues like police violence, public schools, and housing, they've been met back with silence or dismissal.
So when we want to ask you about some real shit that affects the communities of color, you don't give us anything.
You push back, you silence us, you dismiss us.
And now you're doing this gesture of, oh, I'm only letting journalists of color interview me.
It seems like performative wokeness.
It's definitely performative.
She could have just done it and not said nothing.
True.
That's what's weird.
It's like, like most people.
Yeah.
That's what white people do.
That's why they get shit done.
Yeah.
So I think the story broke because I think a white chick hit her up and was like, yo, can we do an interview?
And she said her office was like, sorry, we're only doing interviews with.
She's like, nah, you're black.
No, you're not black.
Yeah.
And then I think she's a dumb thing that she broke the story, I think.
Yeah.
I mean, I understand, like, it's smart if she wants to protect herself.
She's like, nah, a black person is not going to throw me under the bus or something.
Especially if I'm doing this performative thing.
It's like, yo, on the strength.
Like, Candace Owens needs to pull up.
I would like to do that.
Candace needs to pull up.
She wants to do that interview, bro.
That'd be fine.
That would be 100% because what she's going to say.
Then it's going to expose what it really is, right?
Which is, I just want you to give me softball questions in this interview so I look good.
Which I understand for a politician.
It's shit.
Yeah, it's like, why are we acting like politics ain't exactly that?
It's performative measure.
Every bit of bullshit.
They just normally mask it better.
Trump wasn't one of the first ones that was like, yo, I'm only doing interviews with people I fuck with me.
And people killed him for it because they're like, yo, like, pretend.
But he would say that.
But then the most lit ones were the ones where he was just in front of the wolves and they were coming after him and he was clapping back.
Right.
Like the worst thing he did is not let them clap at him because that was entertainment.
That shit was so firebrand.
He would always win in some mouth.
Oh, yeah.
Just shut him down.
It's over.
That's the dope thing about interviews.
You could be like, I'm out.
Yeah.
And like, it's not like they could be like, well, what do you have to do?
It's like, motherfucker, I'm president.
Why am I even talking to y'all?
Like, I got a president.
Yeah, I guess politicians are all performative, but I hate seeing the politician in you.
Like, then I know you're like, when I see how full of shit you are, I'm off board.
Yeah.
You got to at least try to convince me.
Barack is a politician, but that motherfucker comes across like a human being.
Yeah.
That's an art.
Fucking nailing three that open gym and walking off.
Didn't you like that about Trump that he was so not a politician?
Yeah, because it didn't seem like the fraudulence.
This guy is openly petulant and all that other shit.
Like fights everybody, don't give a fuck.
At least that's a, I'm not conned by that.
I don't see an act.
I see a person being himself.
This bitch, it seems like she's acting.
I'm out.
Barack didn't seem like he was acting a very different way than Trump, but I like that.
Yeah, but you guys just said politically the way to do it is just by doing this without saying it.
That would have been the political thing.
Right now she's being like, yo, I'm only speaking to black people.
That's more real.
But again, if I didn't see that little note that I read off straight off my phone and it was completely okay that I did it, I wouldn't feel that way.
I'd be like, all right, whatever.
Interview.
I take questions from Indians all day.
You know what I mean?
Don't ask me about the farmers.
I'd be forgetting sometimes.
Everything else, bet, let's go.
I don't like this, like, oh, hey, I'm only interviewing black people.
But then when they ask you about real issues, I'm not talking to you about that.
That shit bothers me.
That bothers me.
I see what he's saying.
He's like, yo, you could ride for your people, but if you really ride for your people, you're going to answer those questions about people.
That's what one of the journalists say.
He's like, don't give us little interviews.
Actually implement policy to help us.
Bang.
Do something.
I hate performative wokeness.
Yeah.
Little Lori Lightfoot.
Yeah.
Don't that sound like a nickname from around the way?
You know what I mean?
Patreon Support And Nicknames00:01:55
Yo, I got some firehead yesterday from who?
Little Lori Lightfoot.
Little Lori Lightfoot tiptoed over here.
Floating on him.
Bless the kid.
Is it crazy to talk about something like that?
No.
I mean, we talk about people like that.
We're not saying it's her.
We're saying a hypothetical person.
It's not really Lori Lightfoot.
No.
It's a hypothetical Lori Lightfoot.
It's a Native American.
Fast ass young little Native American girl.
Fast ass girl, bro.
That's worse.
What?
Fuck.
Make money Native Americans.
But she was a fast young girl.
Why can't you hook up with Native Americans?
What just happened, huh?
Nah, I was just, I thought it would be fucked up, but nah.
They got names like that.
Lightfoot.
But I don't think we're allowed to call them by those names.
I mean, they made up the name, bro.
But I thought only people from their tribe cannot.
Man, who gives a fuck, bro?
Yeah, I hate when we do this shit like we didn't already kill him.
Like, what is this other shit we're doing?
Extra changing together.
No, we nothing.
Yeah, killed him.
The whites don't accept that shit.
Bro, they did.
He's doing it.
I'm trying to help you out.
I know.
He's doing this for you.
Who gives a fuck about you?
I was getting red in the face right now.
They did.
It's out of here.
Whoever killed him.
Hey, asshole Army.
We love y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
We're going to see you Friday for the Patreon episode, patreon.com/slash flag or two.
You already know we do another episode every single week over there.
Thank you so much for riding with us when we were in Florida.
Thank you so much for building a podcast when we were in Florida.
The growth was crazy.
We got some fun stuff in store for you for the next few weeks.
So yeah, we're excited to do that.
And we're happy to be home, man.
We're glad to be back and still excited, still thriving, and still enjoying life.