Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh debate whether MacKenzie Scott or Melinda Gates is the hotter ex, ultimately favoring Scott for her $38 billion settlement and philanthropy. The hosts recount a Las Vegas encounter where they mistook Bill Gates for Jason Derulo while he played Chinese poker, then pivot to debunking conspiracy theories about Gates creating viruses or harming Indians via vaccine IP. They briefly dismiss a New York Post study linking nose size to genital dimensions before promoting Lucy Nicotine, concluding that celebrity gossip often masks deeper societal fascinations with wealth and power. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Hey Bill, Just Got Involved00:07:28
What up people?
Sheltie here and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode.
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With no more interruptions, here is the exclusive clip.
All right, let's do some question.
Dr. Umar.
Boy, bro.
Dr. Umar.
Boy.
Yo, what's going on, fellas?
Tunji Taylor Lewis here.
All right, so here's a scenario.
You got Bill Gates' ex-wife over here.
You got Jeff Bezos' ex-wife over here.
They've both come up to you at the same time and said, hey, boy, you kind of cute.
You want to get a feel of these heavies?
Which one are you going for?
Who am I going for?
Melinda or Jeff Bezos' wife?
I think it's got to be Bezos' wife.
She's a little bit younger.
Yeah.
I forget.
It's Bezos' wife.
I mean, that picture, I'm looking at it.
And also, I mean, yeah, not even close.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm looking at it side by side, not even close.
Yeah.
Yeah, but Bezos' wife is giving it all away.
We don't know what yeah, before yeah, but that's before you get in there.
I just need a bill, bro.
Doesn't mean she's not gonna have a nice hotel room.
Yeah, she got 30 billion.
She gave away 29.
She's a fucking hero, and she still got a billion.
Yeah, she could give you a whole billion dollars, Al.
Okay, yeah.
Well, also, she's not.
Also, the tech world.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, he was winning in that relationship.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, he was winning that relationship.
He was cuter.
Well, he was better loving over time.
He really did.
He put money in.
He improved being a man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, Tunji, you're right, bro.
Actually, you didn't say one or the other.
You just asked me.
It's unanimous.
But it is unanimous.
We're going after Amazon.
Without a doubt, homie.
Amazon, it is.
And then you could say stuff like, I'm going to get you this package.
You know, like, you can fuck with Bezos during the fucking time.
Oh, my God.
If they did old bitch bachelorette, should it be Melinda Gates?
So that's dope.
It should be Bill Gates.
Say what?
It should be Bill Gates, dude.
Yeah, why would I think Melinda?
Wow, they're both going to be.
They're going to be bachelor Bill Gates.
They should bachelor and bachelorette.
Let's go.
Joint.
Fuck her.
I hate her.
Why do I like Bezos' ex-wife, but hate her?
I don't really.
I don't even know.
I know nothing about her.
I don't like her.
I don't hate her.
Why do you hate her?
This is actually a Gerard Carmichael thing where he was like, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
Oh, that's funny.
It's the Bill.
Yeah, and that's what stuck in my head.
Like, bitch, what?
Yeah.
What did you contribute to?
They do that with NFL teams, too.
And I go, they'll be like, and it's owned by, you know, Mr. and Mrs. Blankety Blank.
Yeah, Jewish name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Blankety Blankston.
And I was also...
Blankety Blankston.
I was also watching.
Shouts to Van.
I was watching a clip from his podcast where him and his co-hosts were saying how much did she get in the divorce settlement.
And the girl Rachel was saying she deserves at least $3 billion.
And I was like, no.
No.
Just don't say that.
She does.
She does.
For what?
For what?
All she does is give his money away.
That's your whole job, bitch.
You give my money away?
Well, he's going to help her give some more away.
Yeah, not to you.
She's going to help him.
You better McKenzie that she give it to charity.
McKenzie knew she was charity, and that's what I respected.
She's giving away all her money because she knew she was charity to begin with.
This whole divorce settlement is charity.
I'm going to give it away.
What if it would be kind of a funny thing if he was like, yeah, just got me involved in all this giving away my money?
Like, if that was the reason they got, like, if he was just turned into asshole Bill Gates, he's like, I don't know, these charities are getting fucking expensive.
You think I wanted to give a money?
Maybe that was the reason they ended.
Does everybody care about malaria?
Yeah.
I'm from DC.
We don't have malaria there.
What if the whole split in their relationship was that he's like, everyone thinks I'm trying to put chips in brains?
You got me into this vaccine bullshit.
Yeah, And now I'm the fucking evil guy.
I just wanted to make computers.
I made billions of dollars making computers.
Now this bitch got me fixed in the world and everybody hates me.
Dude.
And I'm not even the richest person in the world anymore.
He's not the richest person in the world.
I'm not even in top two.
Wow, dude.
It's really Melinda's fault.
I hate her, dog.
I hate her.
Whoa.
I fucking hate her.
Gates was our fun, nerdy billionaire.
I bet you Gates was like, we should make like a user-friendly computer.
And she was like, fuck that.
Windows is the shit.
And then Apple comes around.
He's like, this bitch is killing me.
He's like, I want to wear turtlenecks more often.
She's like, that's stupid.
Dude, the only reason Steve Jobs exists is because of Melinda fucking Gates.
Yeah, bro.
She's like, we should make a computer that gets you all the viruses if you look at porn.
Nobody likes porn.
This is Boj.
Nobody wants porn.
Dude, this is absolutely crazy.
I saw Bill and Melinda Gates once.
I was in Vegas and Melinda Gates was playing $3 Chinese poker.
Really?
And Bill was just standing behind her.
Wow.
Yeah, I swear to God in my life.
Swear to God in my life.
No big hoopla or anything like that.
No security, nothing.
They're inside.
I believe it was the win.
Chinese poker.
I can't believe that they wouldn't be at a private, even if you're playing for $3, someone like that should be in the private section.
In the private section.
Yeah.
That's actually a mistake.
I bet he wanted to be there.
I bet she's like, no, we're going to be amongst the people.
Let's pay $3.
That pisses me off if he wants to.
She is Seattle.
She's a Seattle woman.
I bet she's from Seattle.
I told you all white people would go like, that was no way that was Bill Gates.
Bill Gates, Melinda Gates.
Literally.
I went up to him.
You said, hey, Bill.
I said, hey, Bill.
He goes, hey, how you doing?
I did.
Was he dead?
He did.
Not tall.
No.
I don't remember him being strikingly tall.
But I was like, hey, Bill, how you doing?
I don't use none of his shit.
So I wasn't about to be like, yo, you got it.
I used none of your shit.
How tall is you?
How tall is he?
Say what?
How tall you'd say he is?
Taller than his wife.
All right.
She was sitting down.
Who plays poker standing?
No, they were playing standing.
Oh, it's funny that it kind of matters that we all know how tall he is.
I feel like I just.
Oh, no.
I'm just trying to call him.
They're trying to call him out.
Maybe he's tall.
I don't remember him being tall, but I swear to God on my life, it was him.
Chinese poker team.
I swear to God on your life, you said, hey, Bill.
I said, hey, Bill.
I don't believe in God.
I swear to God, on my life.
That doesn't mean anything.
I do believe in God.
I just don't believe in his belief.
He won't break squares to God.
He won't break squares to God.
I have to push back on high Bill.
I don't know if it was that, but in some way I acknowledged him.
Acknowledge him.
Maybe it was like he was like, what's up, Gates?
He's till it's like that.
You, like one of those.
It could have been a Europe.
Above.
Above or below six foot.
He's probably over six feet, but I don't remember her being tall.
I used to see Al Roker.
I don't remember him being tall.
How tall is he?
God, you bullchin, right?
I don't remember him being tall.
5'6 ⁇ .
No, He's not 5'6.
Oh, 5'10.
5'6.
5'6 doesn't become a billionaire.
Yeah.
Yeah, he is there.
Actually, he might be the richest man ever.
If he's 5'6, it's like some Napoleon shit.
Yeah.
Oh, it goes one or the other.
Why do you think I'm buying so much Bitcoin?
Jeff Bezos is an orphan.
How tall is Jeff Bezos?
But he's an orphan.
So it doesn't matter how tall.
You need a chip.
Yeah.
Bill Gates is right.
You need a chip.
You reminded me.
I used to see Al Roker on the Upper East Side all the time.
Yeah, fat or skinny?
In between.
Gotcha.
And I used to always go, Rogue Dog.
I had that kind of song.
How did that go over?
Every time I saw him, and he would, because you reminded me like, hey, Bill, and him just saying, I didn't know what to say.
I don't know anything about his shit.
Rogue Dog.
And every time, I used to see him all the time because he lives on the Upper Sea.
And then every time he'd go, you.
Short Men Can't Be Billionaires00:11:37
That's great.
That's how I was a good dude.
I was once hosting something for MTV, MTV2, and Jason Derulo was on it, right?
And I'm standing next to Jason Derulo on live TV and I just went like this.
I was like, Jason Derula.
You have to do it.
I did it.
And he looks at me.
He goes, that was odd.
On live TV.
Wait a minute.
That means that's what I'm doing.
That was somewhat fun, that clip, please.
It was unbelievable.
It was unbelievable.
I was like, I'm here with Jason Darula.
Hold on.
That makes me not like him.
Yeah.
Why will you set me up with your shit?
Who doesn't do that to him?
Brian, when you said I saw Jason Drilla, in my head, I went, Jason Darula.
Yeah, I wanted.
Yeah, that's like DJ Khaled not knowing that that's going to be yelled at him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You the best.
You the best.
We make the best music.
Whatever they find.
I bet Caller would handle it wonderfully.
You're like, yes, sir.
Thank you.
Bless you.
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Yo, hold up.
Why do you think I didn't meet Melinda Gates and Bill Gates?
You did.
Why do you think I didn't meet them?
You did.
Yo, you could see famous people in casinos.
It's the watering hole.
They got to go there.
Nah.
What you mean, nah?
Private room.
Billionaires.
They're not.
But I believe you, but he's saying, there's no way they're not in a private room.
But I believe you.
I met him, too.
Thank you.
Dove met him.
Oh, but you believe Dove met him.
Yes.
Yep.
Why not?
Because Dove being way nicer rooms than you.
Fuck you.
Yeah, I was at Sundance Film Fest at the Bing.com launch party.
That was out.com.
I'm winning, bro.
He was stationed.
Where the fuck off the strip casino you be going to?
I was in the window.
The buddy grid, all right?
Do you know what's dope about him when he goes dancing?
He's got four security guards that if anyone tries to take pictures or film, they flash the brightest lights.
Say that again.
He has four security guards.
At least he wasn't just playing $3 poker at the window.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
When you're in a casino, do you need security?
No.
Yes.
It is the most videotaped place on the planet.
Every single step you take, they're watching it.
They still don't want to be photographed.
They got the pit boss.
Do these Chinese people know who we were?
They need the flashlights.
Chinese people, that's another thing.
They don't know the white person.
Of course they know who they are.
They stole his technology and copyrighted it.
Nah, if it was Steve Jobs, if it was Steve Jobs, they'd be jumping out of windows on the Nets.
But they don't know Bill Gates.
So Bill Gates is unassuming.
His wife was wearing some Capri, some khaki capries dressed trash.
Like a middle school teacher.
Super trash.
Some sandals, like almost like clogged.
Like he's a chief Seattle, bitch.
I know it.
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
Look this up right now.
Bill Gates.
Gates in the wind.
In the win.
Look as a Bill Gates in the wind playing Chinese poker.
Look that shit up right now.
Guaranteed.
Dove, when you saw Bill Gates, was Melinda dancing this bitch?
What were you talking about?
Tech Cheek got me.
Oh, dude.
It's Melinda, whatever your last name.
We don't get gates no more, Doug.
Listen, Gates is closed.
She out here.
There be no more gates.
Did it?
Did it?
Hey, look, hey, in the win.
Nope.
Lie, Sal.
Lies.
Oh, yeah.
He's you got to use Bing to find.
Hold on, hold up.
I'm wondering if it was even a win, fam.
I'll be honest with you.
I know it was Vegas.
I'm aware of that much.
But I saw that.
You said, yo, what up, Gates?
The guy just looked at you with a weird ass face, like, who the fuck is this guy?
Sorry, I saw Thomas Jefferson once upon a time.
I saw TJ.
Was it even Jason Derula?
You saw it was just some random black guy.
It was a random black guy.
I was Charlamagne of God.
I just said it was Jason Derula.
I might have said that.
It's facts.
These are facts, bro.
I can't believe y'all think I would lie about meeting Bill Gates when we had one buffet together.
I just think we ate at the buffet at the win just the one time.
I thought it was not.
That's the homie, bro.
That's the homie.
It's the homie, bro.
Yeah.
Literally.
Get him on the pot.
Yo, dude, he's a wild boy.
He's gonna get out.
He finna be out here.
I bet we could get Bill Gates.
Dub.
Get us Bill Gates, dog.
Yo, can we get that?
Remember that time I met you at the podcast for newly single men.
Get us Bill Gates.
Wait a minute.
What's up?
What's legal out here?
He fell asleep for a little bit after that.
He's terribly.
And we're back.
And we're back.
50 Cent can't move to Texas.
Talking about X boxes.
That was a joke somebody made.
Will Noonan?
I think Will Noonan made that shit.
She's the Xbox.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What's that?
Melinda Gates is the Xbox.
That's fun.
Yeah.
There's yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, you got that?
You get that back in there, bro.
Come on.
You got this.
You got this, Akash.
Got him.
Okay.
But are we done with this Melinda Gates conversation, guys?
Is there anything else you'd like to say?
I know y'all hating like I didn't meet Bill Gates.
How come I'm the only one that don't like her?
$3 Chinese poker, son.
$3.
Goofy ass bitch playing $3 Chinese poker.
First of all, first of all, this fucking bitch, you billionaire, bitch.
Are you making him stand behind you?
He's your security, bitch.
No way this is true.
And when he alone, he gets four security goals.
They can gamble with countries, bro.
They could gamble with all of the GDP of Sri Lanka.
Son, son, son.
$3 poker is not enough for them to be.
It was a different time.
That's probably worth at least $10 now.
That's true, though.
That's true.
What was Microsoft trading at at the time?
I don't know because I wasn't into stocks.
I wasn't a crypto cowboy at the time.
Yeah, we're crypto cowboys.
We are crypto cowboys.
But I got some Microsoft right now.
Let me see if that shit is green.
Oh, it's finna get green.
I bet he's coming back on some Steve Jobs shit.
I'd buy Microsoft stock right now now that dead weight is off of him.
Oh, yeah.
Hold on one second.
Let me see if we're green.
Let me see if we're green.
Are we green?
Microsoft is green.
Oh, welcome to Mad Money.
Up 0.12%.
Your boy is raking it in.
Hey, let's go.
All right.
So that's it.
We're done.
Melinda.
Nothing else about her.
She goes away.
What's she going to do?
She can give away her money.
If she gives away her money for real, for real, I'll respect her, but I don't have that faith in her.
Do you think he was trying to drag her on?
You know how he was like, we plan on giving away all our money.
Do you think he was like, I'll give it away before this girl divorces me?
Yo, I think so.
And then she finally called on and she was like, uh-uh-uh, we out of here.
Give me my half.
Maybe that's why he threw her name on the charities.
She would think she had something to do with it.
Yeah.
But Akash, what happens if you find out that she divorced him because she was protesting him not giving the IP for the vaccine to India?
Whoa!
Yo, dub, that was a haymaker.
Yo, you know who else?
Solomon the baby in half moment.
Yes, it is.
You got him, all right?
Damn, boy.
You give the IP to India for the vaccine, and that's why all them Indians are dying.
You want to brief for a second?
You want to talk through this?
Talk about before you go a dope.
You can get the toll because of motherfucking Bill Gates, dog.
And what's her name?
Melinda.
Okay.
Yeah.
I never trust that.
I bet that bitch holding it right now.
I never trust this bitch ever.
That's the bitch that's holding.
That's the reason we're dying, is Melinda.
You're trying to fool me.
I bet she paid you this bitch.
I don't trust you.
Why does he have the IP to the vaccine?
Ever.
How do you have an IP to a vaccine, by the way?
That's also blowing my mind.
What's IP?
It's not a fucking movie plot.
It's a formula.
It's an ingredient or whatever the fuck you call it.
It's compounds.
Yeah, he's also why we trust him about science, but not Joe Rogan.
Hey, everybody, shit.
Like, Joe Rogan's not a doctor.
I trust Dave Smith before I trust Bill.
Dave Smith and Joe Rogan before I trust Bill Gates about science.
What did he cure?
Getting stung by a mosquito?
That's hard.
That's hard.
A net?
He made a net, bro.
That's literally all he did.
All Bill Gates did was create viruses to his point.
Every software you get from Windows is just viruses.
And he don't cure them shits.
He don't make the antivirus.
Oh, my God.
This is a good ass point, bro.
Yo, I'm getting my science in Rogan from now on.
Yeah, that's why I always get my science.
Fuck Bill Gates.
We back to fuck Bill Gates.
Bill Gates, I wish he was in a better casino because that was slap.
Yo, what's up?
Yeah, Bill and the Bellachio.
You know what I mean?
We got to get a little bit more sexy, a little more sexy casino.
Yeah.
All right.
What else we got?
Oh, big noses, big dicks.
Now y'all jealous.
Did you see that New York Post article?
No.
Yeah, I did.
Oh, bro.
And of course, you wouldn't.
Little dick motherfuckers don't be reading nothing.
They said big noses equal big dicks.
Did you see it?
I shared it with you guys.
Of course.
Boom.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, Dove, come in the frame just enough so they can see what you're packing.
Just a tip.
So lean back 10 centimeters.
I'm just saying.
They said there's a correlation between big noses and big dicks.
Yeah.
How do you guys feel about that now?
That's just black people.
That's it.
That's all that's happening.
That's all that's happening.
Don't try to culturally appropriate big noses, big dicks.
That's a black formula.
Wait, why can't we say black guys have big dicks?
We can say white people have big dicks.
I mean, noses.
Wait, why can't we see black people have big noses?
We could say Jews and white people like me have big noses.
I don't think you're supposed to say that either, buddy.
Fuck up, Al.
Oh, Melinda Gates-ass motherfucker.
Yeah, I am Melinda Gates.
I'm too big.
Damn, these three-dollar tables, Al.
We're trying to have some fun.
I'm too.
Al, you don't have a big nose.
You have big nostrils, though.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
You don't have a big nose.
You do.
You don't.
But you also probably don't have a big dick.
What do you think about that?
What do you think about that?
You know, you have a small dick, but probably huge urethra.
No, we're strong streams.
Strong streams.
For real.
That'd be kind of weird if you just had a huge hole.
Not that big dick, huge hole.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude.
Got a belly button dick.
Looks like the Star Wars monster.
What's that?
Star Wars monster from the sand monster.
That's what you got.
Yeah, I got that.
Bulba Fat?
No, it's the sand monster that comes up that they feed people to.
That would be like the big hole.
Yeah.
That's Al's dick.
It looks like an uncircumcised.
I don't know it.
I'm trying to get there.
I don't know it.
And I don't know Star Wars that well.
But I know that Al's got a big urethra.
Big Urethra and Star Wars00:02:38
Yeah.
Yo, you got a big urethra, bro.
Yeah, you got that urethra Franklin, bro.
All right.
I think you got some new merch on your hands.
Facts.
Okay, what else we got?
Everybody leaving New York, bro.
What do you mean?
50 Cent.
50 Cent leaving New York for Texas.
Move to Texas, baby.
Really?
He hasn't lived in New York for a minute.
He's been in Connecticut.
He bought Tyson's spot or something.
Now he's in Texas.
So, you know what I mean?
Give it up.
Oh, that's, you know, why that is?
I think Connecticut said something about capital gains tax going up specifically.
Dude, the Northeast.
Yeah, fuck that shit.
Talk that shit.
Talk that shit, bro.
Talk that shit.
No, he's go to Texas.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen those TikToks or videos of what you can get for money?
Like what house you can get in Texas?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Buddy, I grew up there.
My whole perspective is fucked.
Dude, you watch those videos and you can't watch it without being like, what the fuck am I doing?
You can't.
Those videos are like, it'll be like a million dollars in Texas and then like the tour never stops.
Like, go to part two of my other video.
You're like, you didn't have enough time to get through this house?
Like for a million?
Yeah.
It makes you get to the end of that.
You're like, okay.
And now that that's- But I'll do this.
That's what you always think.
Yeah.
And now that you can, because you made the house way more fun than going out the house.
Oh, yeah.
Internet, all this type of shit.
Yeah.
So much more fun.
I think I had it.
Maybe I was working on a joke about it or something like that.
Like, like, women fought for the right to work like 30 years too early.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, now it would be so lit to be a housewife, right?
You have your Netflix, you have everything at home.
Back in the day, it sucked being at home all fucking day.
You want to get out, get some distraction.
But now, oh, we wanted to.
You just held on tight.
For 50 years.
Yeah, yeah.
They sold early.
They've been sold early.
Yeah.
Fucking hell.
This guy had a funny joke.
He said, this guy, Ryan, he goes, I bought my nephew when he was nine years old $5,000 worth of Bitcoin.
Holy shit.
And now that money, I bought him $5,000.
And when he turns 18, he was going to get it as part of like a trust.
And he goes, now that is worth no longer having a relationship with my nephew.
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