Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Elon Musk's SNL hosting, mocking his Asperger's claims while debating crypto crashes like Dogecoin's collapse after Musk called it a "hustle." They critique luxury spending, first-class service failures, and Dave Chappelle's evolution before pivoting to Bill and Melinda Gates' divorce, alleging Melinda's affair with Jeffrey Epstein caused the split. The hosts condemn Zuckerberg for removing their video criticizing Gates' ties to Epstein, ultimately suggesting that high-profile scandals often stem from hidden betrayals rather than public knowledge. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Chappelle Hates On You Bro00:15:10
Chappelle's on Rogan and he's hating on you bro.
SNL killed it.
My girl needs to start messaging me before she buys shit.
That's a furniture store.
Bill Gates produced some nice little pussy.
Well, when you think about it, what's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
It's your boy Schultzy.
I'm here with Akash Sing Alex Media Mark Gagnon in a truffle.
And hot take, ready?
Hot take.
Started off with a super hot take.
Hot take.
Ready?
Yep.
SNL killed it.
Really?
Hot take right now.
Wow.
SNL killed it.
I have a theory.
I want to know what you guys think about it.
We're talking about Dogecoin, right?
No, no.
Death of Dogecoin.
Death of Dogecoin caused by SNL.
No, no, no.
SNL is so bad it made people lose faith in him.
This guy can't fail in anything.
Okay.
My Tesla stock is down.
Oh, is it really?
I don't know.
I'm just assuming.
All I'm saying is this.
This is my theory about SNL.
One, you got to give it up for the gravity that they created.
This was the purpose of this show.
I mean, I guess the purpose of the show is for sketch comedy, but like the purpose of the show was like, yo, the entire world can watch as this person that we all care about goes and tries to be funny and will take certain, you know, certain hot takes about the world, et cetera.
And ideally, everybody's supposed to go there and watch.
They're supposed to get these hoats, these hosts that are going to compel people to watch.
And they did that this time.
I've never in my life before this.
Maybe for Eddie Murphy, and I don't even know if I watched any of the sketches with Eddie Murphy.
I maybe looked at the, what is it, the opening monologue or something like that?
Because I was like, is he going to do some stand-up?
What's going to be?
But outside it, I cared.
I got off stage.
I was like, okay, let's see.
Was he funny?
Let me see a sketch.
Like, how was it?
I was looking for people's reactions.
And I watched a couple of the sketches and I thought they were pretty funny.
I watched the Chad one where like he saves Mars with Pete Davidson.
I thought it was funny.
You saw Gen Z Hospital.
Did you guys see that?
Gen Z Hospital was good.
It was just long.
But the idea was kind of funny.
It was just, you know, old people using like young people slang.
I get it.
But there were some moments that were funny.
And I realized what they did.
And I don't know if they did this on purpose or not, but what they should continue to do is the best people to host SNL are unfunny people.
When you put a funny person as the host of SNL, the expectation goes through the roof.
Yes.
You're funny.
You're going to make me laugh today.
I can't wait till I'm going to die laughing.
And then they go host SNL, which is not really that funny.
And they let you down.
When you take someone who's basically a robot like Elon, right?
He has a sense of humor.
Clearly, you see him on Twitter.
You see him, you know, posting kind of the memes and playing into mean culture and also like trolling other billionaires.
It is fun.
But not known as like one of the most hilarious people in the world at all.
At all.
And not trying to be.
No.
And then you put him in a position where you're like, well, let's see if this guy's going to be funny.
Expectations are the key to happiness.
The expectations are super low.
They're like, there's no way this guy could be funny.
And then he makes you laugh once.
You're like, oh, shit, here we go.
It's kind of more interesting as a comedic experiment.
Get Bezos, get famous people that we do not expect to be funny and have them host a show and see if your writers are good enough to make them funny.
It's like a chef making a turnip delicious.
You know what I mean?
Take the things that aren't funny and make them funny.
What do we do fundamentally?
We take the topics that aren't funny, right?
Try to find the humor.
And we try to find the humor in it.
I think that they did.
I saw a few of the sketches.
I didn't see the whole thing.
But I saw it, and it was funny.
He was kind of charming.
Oh, he's, I thought, even in that sketch, I was very impressed because, like you said, the bar was low for Elon.
Yes.
Now, I don't know that the bar was necessarily lowered for the show because they could explain about Elon.
So if I'm going to shit on Elon, I better bring the fucking ruckus when it's my turn.
Yeah.
And this, we had a different take because I never wished SNL was canceled more in my life than I did watching the tweets around the show.
That's when I was reminded how annoying everything about this show has become.
Where even that Gen Z hospital sketch, they managed to offend people because people were saying this isn't Gen Z slang.
This is just African-American vernacular English or whatever the term is now.
And they're calling that Gen Z, and that's not wrong.
Kind of annoying, but then what really got me is Elon Musk said, I'm the first person with Asperger's to host SNL.
A bunch of people who you normally think would support such a thing were like, you're not first.
Dan Aykroyd was first.
Elon Musk is only good for buh-buh-buh-buh.
And it's like, you guys are the fucking worst.
I want SNL canceled.
I don't want to deal with it anymore.
I don't want to hear the fucking castmates complaining about the only good thing that's happened to the show in decades.
I don't want to hear the audiences complaining that somebody isn't the first retard on the show.
Like, I'm good with all of it.
I'm good on all of it, bro.
Just go away.
Which vaccine do I have to take to make sure my kid has Asperger?
If Johnson Johnson came back, they're like, yo, your kid is guaranteed to have Asperger's if you take this, I'm plugging it up.
That's a selfless parent.
Son, Asperger's is the key to success.
At what point in time is it an advantage?
Every person we know at Asperger's is successful.
You're an X-Men.
You're a motherfucking X-Men.
And at least X-Men, well, actually, they did kind of get into the victimhood shit.
Like, oh, they're after us.
Fire away, motherfucker.
Disappear.
Do what you do.
You got superpowers.
Why are you acting like an old bitch?
Yo.
Professor X is kind of a cuck, real.
He was a cuck.
Kind of a cuck.
Dude was a cuck.
He could move every object except his legs.
Motherfucker could move everything but his fucking legs, dude.
That's the most paralyzed.
The dude could literally get you to walk away from him if he wanted to.
Look the other way so he could sneak into some.
He said he just liked playing the victim.
I think he liked playing the move his legs.
He was so addicted to victimhood, he made himself a paraplegic.
Yep.
Oh my God, bro.
Cook.
Cuck, cuck.
Yeah, useless leg liberal cuck.
You know?
Come on, Twizzle Little Legs.
Twizzler Legs.
This fucking guy, Professor X.
This is unbelievable.
So yeah, this is an advantage.
We got to stop acting like people with Asperger's.
Chris Rock has Asperger's.
Bill Gates got Asperger's.
Mark Zuckerberg got Asperger.
Name a billionaire that don't have fucking Asperger's.
Steve Jobs guaranteed had Asperger's.
100%.
He was an Asperger, dog.
Oh, burger.
Apparently, Isaac Newton had Asperger.
How did they know that?
I don't know.
There's no way.
This shit didn't even exist.
He did, though.
He did.
He did.
He's successful in Smart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At what point in time do we just admit it?
Smart Jews have Asperger's.
At what point in time do we just come out and say it?
That's their superpower.
How do I get Asperger's now, bro?
Son, it's the bet.
You ignore your wife all day, just go to work and be like, what?
I have Asperger's.
I'm sorry.
You don't have any emotional reaction.
I don't.
You're right.
That is life.
This is what it is.
It's unbelievable.
And my only problem is, my only problem with it is we're not going to feel bad for them for their advantage in life, okay?
Yeah.
I'm not going to feel bad that LeBron is the most amazing athlete in history.
You're not going to act like a victim because of it.
I'm sorry, I'm 6'9.
My fast Twitch fibers are amazing.
I could jump out the gym.
I have unbelievable hand-eye coordination.
I'm one of the greatest passers ever.
I'm not going to feel bad for you because of that.
So we got to start taking Asperger's and looking at it as a huge advantage.
You're LeBrain, James.
Oh, you're LeBrain, James.
I did that.
Because you're exceptional at what you do and a victim.
Hey.
Yeah.
That was good.
And I wish you would get off Twitter.
So, yeah, so Asperger's is lit.
How do you know you don't have Asperger's though?
I hope I do.
Be a little Asperger.
You think I'm an Asperger?
All right, give me an Asperger test.
Okay.
Let me look it up.
Give me one.
Give me an Asperger test.
Give me a break.
Look at the Asperger test.
This is fire, dog.
Yeah, I'm fucking nervous right now because if I don't have Asperger's, oh, man, it's going to be such a letdown, dude.
I had to do all this with hard work.
I know.
Yo, that shouldn't be the mensa test.
It's just an Asperger test.
Son, how many mensas you think I'd Asperger's?
Oh, all right.
That's the Asperger Coalition.
That's all it is is a gang of fucking burgers out here.
GB.
You know what I mean?
GB out here.
Solving math problems, nerds.
All right, so we got a couple of basic Asperger.
Okay, give me an Asperger question.
Go.
Do you pursue friendships, but is it socially awkward and you don't know what to do to maintain the interaction?
Rarely, sometimes, never very often.
No.
That's everybody.
No, I don't.
Who doesn't pursue friendships?
And sometimes who don't want friendships.
And sometimes it's awkward.
That's everybody.
Little Asperger.
Oh, I was saying that doesn't happen to me.
You never feel awkward when you find friends?
No, pursuing friendships, like trying to make new friendships.
Who makes new friends?
I'm 37 years old.
The shit just happens.
That's one thing.
There's no new friends.
That's one burger.
That's one burger.
Friends, when you get older, you ain't got a whole Asperger's anthem.
No new friends.
No new friends.
No, that is a stupid one because maybe when I was younger, that was the case.
But as an adult, I'm not looking for new friends.
They just kind of exist.
It's like a mold.
Do you know what I mean?
If you're just left out long enough, then you get some molds.
That's what friends are when you're older.
But go on.
All right, so that's one burger for you, I think.
So far.
Wait, do I have a burger or no?
You have one burger, I think.
I thought I answered it wrong.
You said you don't make any friends.
That's burgers.
At 37, who's making friends?
Let's go to the next question.
Say what?
You grew into your burger.
I grew into my burger.
Yes.
I'm just going with it.
I'm just going with it.
Let's go.
Does your child have difficulty during, okay, not your child.
This is for kids.
Okay.
Do you have difficulty during social interactions, like monopolizing conversations?
You don't pick up on social cues, bossy, et cetera.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Like, that.
Listen, you might think I got burgers.
I got impossible meat over here because that could not be further.
I can't believe it's not burgers.
That's what you got.
Real talk.
Now, that might be me.
I got one burger right there.
Nah, he beyond burgers, bro.
What's beyond burger?
Just give me the prime rib, dog.
You want full steak.
Ain't no mince meat over here.
I'm the filet mignon of this shit.
All right.
The filet autism, dude.
Okay, keep going.
Keep going.
No, no, that's another thing.
Stop separate it from autism.
Bro, it's on the spec.
No, no, that is wrong.
No, it's wrong.
It's a splendor for autism.
No, no, no, no.
Remove autism entirely from it.
I understand.
That's how they try to sell it to us because they want to be retarded a little bit so you can't make fun of them.
Like that motherfucker went on right before we were about to make fun of him for being on SNL.
He was like, yo, I'm retarded.
And we're like, no, I can't make fun of this retarded motherfucker.
You can't be retarded and you're the richest person in the world.
That's true.
What the fuck that makes me?
That's true.
If you're retarded, what am I?
That's true.
Son, I am the, what is the retarded of retarded?
That's bullying.
What do you call the retarded kids that you're like, man, this motherfucker don't even like ice cream, bro?
Like, how retarded is he?
I think it's a double negative.
I think two retards make a Elon Musk.
Okay, that's possible.
All I'm trying to say is let's remove Asperger's from that spectrum.
It's autism.
And now we take Asperger's, we put it over here.
That's the same thing.
What is Asperger's on?
Is it like a different spectrum?
It's his own thing.
It's a superpower.
Superpower.
Sexuality as well.
The whole thing.
So it's like height.
Keep on going.
Okay.
Do you exhibit repetitive or robotic speech?
Yeah, all the time.
Okay, so that's two burgers.
Do you struggle?
Competitive or what is it?
Robotic speech?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you just repeated it.
So, damn.
That kind of proves it right there.
Yeah, I definitely have autism.
No, this is not autism.
This is Asperger's.
Autism is whack.
Do you struggle to understand nonverbal communication despite having good verbal skills?
No.
Okay.
That's true.
He's right.
Do you engage in awkward mannerisms or repetitive movements such as hand flapping or toe walking, for example?
No, but that annoys the fucking shit out of me.
So you're a self-loathing burger.
The toe walking drives me crazy.
And I didn't know that those people were actually retarded.
I thought that they were making a choice to walk on their toes like that.
And it would drive me crazy.
And I remember in high school, I would put my hands on their shoulders and I would hold them down when they would hold them down.
Yeah, it's infuriating.
Why is it so infuriating?
That's Elon Musk, though.
They're bouncing around for no reason.
Unecessarily bouncing.
But that would be affects them less.
They want to go to space.
Why do you think Elon's building a rocket, bro?
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
There you go.
I mean, it's not really a good point, but it was a good joke.
That's a good joke to be made in that moment.
All right.
Do you obsess over topics, interests, or fears?
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
Do you have difficulty?
What question is that?
Who doesn't obsess over topics, interests, or fears?
Regular people, bro.
Fuck.
Yeah, man.
I just want to be regs.
Do you have difficulty maintaining eye contact?
No.
No.
Do you have difficulty maintaining a back and forth on top of it?
Sometimes I do have difficulty making eye contact.
Like with Ben Uyeda this weekend with his body, bro.
Ben Uyeda was with us in Phoenix this weekend, and he was taking his shirt off and going to the bar.
Oh, shit.
I couldn't even trick a treat, bro.
Son, treat.
A high-calorie treat.
In the pool coming out?
It was bad.
That motherfucker was just sitting on top of the pool, and then Mark and Miles were looking at him, and they just plunked their body inside the water because they just could not be seen next to that motherfucker.
Yeah, I ducked that.
Duck, duck, goose.
Yeah, he's a little fortune cookie, that guy.
All right.
Do you have difficulty?
That was racist.
Why is that racist?
That was racist.
Why is that racist?
Why is that racist?
I just said he's like a little internment camp.
That guy.
That's a little snack.
That's a different Asian, bro.
Get your Asians right.
It's not any Asian, bro.
It's an American snack.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
Is that repetitive speech?
Is that repetitive speech?
You're going to do repetitive speech.
You're making me anger.
Am I my Asperger?
You're making me get you burger?
You're making me the hamburger right now.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Let's go.
Do you have difficulty maintaining back and forth?
Or Asperger's?
Yes, there's a guest.
This is good.
So ask, listen, what?
I'm going to guess.
What?
There's one more question to find out if you're fully burged out.
And what is that?
You just can't finish the test?
Have you been able to finish this test?
Listen, Asperger.
Your boy's Asberger, dog.
No, Asperger's are the Jews, and then hamburgers are not Jews.
Hamburger, bro.
I'm a hamburger.
You're an Asperger.
You're gonna be so happy.
Okay.
All right.
Do you repeat lines from shows and movies in repetitive fashion?
No.
I feel like you do.
I don't.
Who does that?
Bro, you say movie lines all the time.
You don't watch movies.
You wouldn't know what the lines were.
Yeah, that's the thing.
You said you would never know what to do.
I'm not stepbrothers in all the time.
Remember?
Oh, don't do that to me.
You do.
Don't do that.
I'm not one of those.
What movie is that from?
Don't do that to me.
Yeah.
Me, myself, and Irene.
Is that for me, myself, and Irene?
Don't do that to me.
Remember when Irene was like, don't do that to me.
Remember that?
Irene was like, don't do that to me.
And then me, myself is like, smoking or something.
Smoking.
Smoking.
I'm smoking.
You know?
Man, Carrie?
The goat.
Isn't that Jim Carrey?
Yeah, fucking goat.
All right, let's go.
All right, so we got your score here.
All right, what'd I get?
Al, do you want to read the results?
No, you got it.
Moderate indication of Asperger syndrome.
SNL Is The Goat Honestly00:07:17
That's exactly what he said.
Congrats, dude.
God damn, I can't even be good at Asperger's, bro.
What the fuck?
Nah, you're a moderate burg, bro.
I got moderate burger.
Yeah.
Damn.
All right, that's lit.
You're a little junior bacon.
Yeah, junior.
I'm a little junior bacon.
Junior laughed.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
I'm so excited.
Am I allowed to feel things?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm really excited.
I'm like, I have a high emotional, I have a high emotional reaction.
That's how Al reacts to stuff, honestly.
The only thing separating you from Full Burger is Al's laugh.
You had Al's laugh, you full burger.
Oh, that laugh is burger.
Yeah, if you were white with that laugh, that's a burger laugh.
That's for sure burger.
Have a longer leash as a black person with your weird laugh, but a white person that would just go, dude.
That's not even burger.
That's full reread.
I didn't want to say it, but it is, right?
You're the Burger King with that one, bro.
That laugh could support the farmers that re-reacted that.
All right, man.
So, what are you guys' thoughts on the SNL?
Yeah, what did you, what did you in general?
First of all, did you guys watch any sketches before you reacted?
I watched the Gen Z sketch and I watched the monologue.
Okay.
And I thought the Gen Z sketch was like, like conceptually funny.
Didn't really go anywhere.
It was just them playing.
That's how I felt about.
Whenever I watched the Californians, it felt the exact same as that, where it's like, I guess you guys are laughing, but I don't.
It's the same joke over and over again.
But if it was just quick, you just make that 30 seconds.
I give a ton of leeway to SNL in general just because it's so hard to make an hour or however long the show is, an hour and a half.
An hour and a half of like comedy every week.
That's like an impossible task in general.
I don't give them that leeway because they choose to do it.
Just make it half hour and make it hot, and then everything will be fine.
That's true.
You said you enjoyed it, right?
On a one to 10 scale.
Just what I saw.
I just saw three sketches and then the his part of the weekend update.
Okay.
That's the entirety of the show.
No, I thought it was an hour and a half.
I watched probably seven minutes.
There's commercials.
Like you get about maybe seven sketches, two music performances.
That's about the show.
Wow.
Okay.
So I did watch part of the weekend update.
Yeah.
And I was charmed by him.
I thought it was cool to see somebody who is so composed, brilliant, and successful be vulnerable.
And it's like a really humble thing to do is to go out there, know you're going to look stupid.
And he was going to look stupid in certain points in time.
And I really respected that.
I just thought it was really fucking cool to be willing to be, I don't know, that egoless.
Now, is that intrinsic to like the entrepreneurial gene?
You know what I mean?
Like, this is a guy that's like, put yourself in a situation where you're going to be able to get a lot of explode on like land.
Oh, I'm going to fail.
I'm going to build a car company, even though every car company in history has been an ass burger thing where he's like, hey, even if I look stupid, we'll make money.
Kind of like we said last week.
Maybe you said it last week specifically, but like, yeah, I'm going to look stupid, but we're going to make money and we're going to get publicity and it's going to benefit me in the long run.
Maybe I'll look stupid and who cares?
Maybe.
Maybe.
But it felt like you were going somewhere with that.
Just my theory is that I think you would enjoy watching SNL on a regular basis because for the sketches I've seen, that was an average episode of SDL.
Yeah.
So I think all the SNL hate, you got to take it back.
But clearly you haven't been listening for the last month.
No, clearly you don't pay attention.
What I've always said about SNL is I can't criticize it because I don't watch it.
I can't.
You do criticize it.
No, I don't.
We actually shit on, we're like, wire comics still shitting on it, which I get why.
Literally, the last time I was there, it's become kind of a hack.
It's become a trope.
But I remembered why when I saw the tweets around it this weekend.
But it's like a lot of comics who are upset where they are in their career and they just take it out on SNL because they know they're not going to be on SNL.
So it's a safe thing to criticize.
Gotcha.
But I say I cannot accurately say if this show is good or not because I don't watch a show.
What I do see of the show, I'm often not impressed.
Also, you're Hypocrites.
But that's also another thing.
But that's what I've said always on the podcast.
What I have seen in the show, I'm often not impressed by.
But this was impressive to me because I was charmed by Elon.
And I thought the sketch was okay, but I'm going into it going with the lowest expectations.
I should go into this legacy television show with the highest, right?
Like if I go watch, if I go watch a Chris Rock special, if I watch a Dave Chappelle special, if I watch a Patrice O'Neill special, I'm going in going, this is the greatest.
It's right here.
You got to beat this.
With SNL, for whatever reason, this is the longest running comedy show on television in history.
And I go in going, this is not going to make me laugh.
That's a problem.
Especially since I know people on the show who are really funny on stage.
Yeah.
Like really funny on stage and not that funny on the show.
So I'm just like.
Who's still a stand-up on that show?
Sam J.
Oh, Sam Jones.
He's a writer on the case.
Congrats to Sam Jay.
She got a new HBO show.
I fucking Sam dog.
Sam is so fucking funny.
I mean, Michael Che is fucking funny as hell.
He's doing his own thing now with his show.
He's got his show.
I'm excited to see that.
Yeah, I'm watching the first episode.
Very creative.
Well done.
So like I know people who write on the show or on the show and on stage are fucking beasts.
Yeah.
And then that doesn't get displayed on TV.
So I'm like, there's something to a show.
Yes.
There's a governor.
Like, you know, in a car, like the car says it goes 220, but you push it and only goes 160?
That's SNL.
It got a governor.
And the governor is probably antiquated.
Like it's, they're probably working off these FCC rules from 40 years ago.
And it's like, we've moved past it.
Like, we can hear certain bad words.
We can have certain opinions that are a little bit crazy.
Now, here's a fun question.
If you took the whole cast, the whole production, the whole budget and put it on YouTube, do you think the show would be better?
Yes.
Like without those governors, FCC rules, TV.
I think anything will be better without those governors.
I do believe that sincerely.
I think anything will be better without limitation.
Some people often say like limitation forces you to be more creative.
Yeah.
You know, but I don't really believe that because I think that you're like creativity is inspired by who you are as a person.
So I don't think people are going to go, well, since I'm free to do whatever I want, I don't need to be creative now.
You're just going to be that much more creative.
You already have natural limitations just by who you are.
You don't need more.
Exactly.
So why would you govern your creativity in any way?
And I mean, I would love to see them do it.
I really would.
It'd be really cool to see just a few of the people from that show.
Maybe when they're done, just like do a version of it for YouTube or a version of it for Facebook or something like that.
And then maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe it comes out the same.
And then maybe I'm wrong.
I just know people that are funny and I see them on stage and I go, it was the same thing with Shane Gillis.
Like I saw Shane Dew stand up.
I was like, nah, this motherfucker is funny, bro.
Yeah.
I don't care what you say.
This guy is funny.
And then when I saw the sketch show, I was like, oh, yep.
And to SNL's credit, I was like, I see why you wanted that guy because it fits.
Like, if he could do those things on SNL, they would fucking murder, bro.
Yeah.
Those exact sketches he's doing right now would fucking destroy.
Obviously, certain words he can't use.
Seeing That Show Again00:15:42
Wouldn't he be able to?
Certain words he can't use, but conceptually, I think he could.
It would be a little goofier and SNL is a little goofy.
It's like, let's be silly.
Not that improv straight to it.
Improv show.
It feels like an improv show.
Improv word from whether intrinsically or inherently or whatever.
It's just corny.
Improv is just corny in its nature.
I don't want to like, it's hard for me to.
Here, let me just...
Yeah, what is that?
Let me show you what Keys.
Oh, yeah.
James James.
It's my car.
It's my car.
The G-Wagon is no big deal.
Oh, shit.
He did a Nazi sled to the G.
A Nazi sled.
Hi, Ohio, Highle.
I'll take my Elon Tesla any day.
You're rude off the big nose reindeer.
This show is going off the rails.
Like those trains never did.
Fun fact, you know how the G-Wagon came to be?
How?
So it was a.
I don't think this is going to be fun.
I'm going to be honest.
You know, it's for Gestapo, Dove.
There's an irony here, okay?
I'm going out on a limb.
The Shah of Iran, before his ass was kicked out by Khomein, loved the military version of that car so much that he pushed them to create a commercial or I guess consumer version of it.
And the Persian, you know, Shah got them to make a consumer version.
And now that's the car that all Persian Jews drive.
And did you see how much fun we were having before you told yourself?
Did you see how much fun we were doing?
Unsubscribe.
Unsubscribe from Carfax, okay?
I know I was bored because I started picking my palms.
I started telling you something fun to do.
I started checking the levels on this shit.
Good facts.
Go on, Felix, guys, Felix.
No facts.
No facts.
Oh, that's how that segment works.
Tell us how you feel about Persians now.
Make up for it.
Can't do it.
Can't do it.
Nah, do it.
No, he's got to go back to LA eventually, dude.
You can't live in LA.
No, I can't do the Persians.
You can't.
Oh, you just can't do it.
No.
Oh, why?
Why?
Oh, no.
This is a tough.
What if it's post-nosed?
Now we're feelings.
Now I'm loving it.
Nah, Moroccans and the Persians, hot blood and hot blood?
No, no, no.
They just don't mix.
I don't need it.
Really?
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I'm trying to turn the temperature down in my life.
You don't need that.
Eastern Europe.
You know, it's so funny.
That's how so many people have felt about Jews, bro.
And I think that throughout history, they've just been like, no, we don't need it.
Spain?
We don't need it.
Morocco's the only place where they were like, kind of need it.
Yeah, you take all the Moroccans in Israel.
They all get together.
It's like it's Russians and Moroccans together.
Now that babies are chetsi chetsi.
Why Russians like the Moroccans?
It's always a Moroccan dad and a Russian or Eastern European mom.
So when you see those like hot Israelis like Bar Raffaellis and the blue eyes of Pan.
I followed IDF girls, by the way.
By the way.
Yeah.
That's a lit Instagram fish.
Wait, wait, IDF is what?
I don't fuck American.
Is that what it is?
They make you wait.
That's what they should call that.
I don't fuck.
Because Israeli girls, as beautiful as they are, do not give you no pussy, bro.
You are salty, bro.
I am super salty.
Like a.
I'm fucking up.
I was trying to come up with like a Jewish food that was salty, like gefilta fish or like a matzah soup.
What's super salty?
All their food is salty.
Gefilte fish, right?
Gefilta fish.
It's not my food.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
Fine.
We get it, Dove.
We get it.
Thank you.
All right.
You really, you really rebounded.
Yeah, you did.
You did.
Well, because you tanked the facts and then he brought it back with the feelings, Dove.
The feelings.
That's really all it takes to get us back on our side is like, oh, are you going to hate on an ethnic for no reason?
I'm in.
Let's go.
Shout out to y'all, Persians, man.
Keep worshiping goldfish or whatever you do.
Don't they worship?
Yeah, yeah.
No ruse.
They have a goldfish holiday, right?
There's always a goldfish in a bowl on a holiday.
Like, flush that shit down the toilet afterwards.
I don't know if you do it.
Dove does not fuck with Persians, bro.
This is good.
No, but they did teach me to hustle back in the day.
Oh, yeah.
We were just talking about it.
Yeah.
The dudes.
But they just, what?
They just have a way.
With girls, you're saying?
No, no, no, no.
Just life.
The way Dove gets his deals, that's some Persian shit.
I think he's like, and we think it's Jews, but maybe it's Persians.
Oh, shit.
That taught you the art of the deal.
Persian Jews.
That's what I grew up with.
Pretty good.
So you said you got your strongest, like, your strongest talent from Persia.
No, that's one vertical of my talents.
I'll be strongest one.
This is your strongest one, though.
That's one of the negotiating.
There's a Persian negotiating technique, but I've got so many others.
I've told Andrew, like, I'll look pathetic, like a loser to get what I want sometimes.
You just have to be willing to.
You got to say Persians, bro.
They made you.
They made you.
How do you say thank you at Farsi?
They made you, bro?
Say thank you at Farsi right now, bro.
Come on.
It's weirdly mercy.
Is it merci?
Yeah.
But they say mercy.
Merci.
Merci.
Garbage, that sounds.
Moroccans would say merci.
Merci.
Why?
Wow.
That's because the French came in there and started breaking back.
They were taking all them hot, they were taking all them hot Moroccan chicks and they started breaking back.
You don't think so?
Can't happen.
You don't think the French guys came down there and they just started busting y'all wide open?
Where's the idea of that?
That does sound like what happened because that Merci that you said, say it again?
Yeah.
Which one?
Merci.
The colonized one.
That shit sounded fire, to be honest.
They were going chokran and then chokran.
Chokran.
Chokran.
You remember when a Parisian dude, we were at a restaurant and Dove just spoke full French with him?
Oh, yeah.
I thought you just learned French.
Turns out you guys are fucking colonized people.
Oh, yeah.
That's why he does it.
Of course.
Yeah.
No.
This guy's fluent.
Okay.
Back to us.
Fucked up.
What else is going on, my guys?
We're good on SNL.
I think it was a cool moment to see the entire world interested in one thing.
Oh, my favorite part about SNL.
Yes.
Yes, go.
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Now let's get back to the show.
Favorite part about SNL.
Yeah, fuck Elana, right?
But oh, favorite part about SNL.
In the green room before the show, we're going back and forth, like, oh, shit, like, what's going to happen with Dogecoin after SNL?
All this speculation.
So if anyone that doesn't know, Dogecoin is basically this crypto that's based on like a meme.
So basically, after like Bitcoin, Ethereum, all these other cryptos popped up in 2013, this kid made this like crypto that was basically just like a fake using old Bitcoin technology.
There's no market cap on it, which means you can keep on mining it.
There's like billions of the coins in it.
It's still blockchain, the whole deal.
Yeah.
But it's just based off this little Shiba Inu like dog that was a meme back in the day that they called Doge.
So now it's Dogecoin.
So basically it started popping up and you could buy it for like, you know, they're trading at like one cent a coin or whatever.
I'm sorry.
What just happened?
My girl needs to start messaging me before she buys shit because speaking of Dogecoin.
I don't know if you guys are breathing heavy, son.
I started breathing fucking heavy, dawg.
I got the American.
I got the, oh God, what's what's Lulu in Georgia?
What's that?
Oh, that's a furniture store.
Son, I looked at this shit from here and I, my vision is gone, but I saw a comma from here and I was like, this chick done lost her goddamn mind buying shit with a comma without telling me.
That's Andrew coin, bro.
That's Schultz coin, bro.
To the moon.
Son, if there's a comma, you gotta call me.
Call me for the comma.
She's a day trader, bro.
But it's furniture, so a comma is to be expected.
And I'm sure she ran this by you.
Hey, but you just weren't ready.
She just ran it by you.
You're like, buy so many things.
They sent me a PowerPoint with like 15 things on it, and I just agree on the PowerPoint.
Yeah, baby, we have so many things to do, and then they sneak in the expensive stuff.
Oh, my God.
Running and try turns into running and buying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Fun.
I literally, that was shocking to me right there, dude.
By the way, does it hurt knowing that I have a discount to that store?
That you didn't ask me for.
Persian.
Persian pieces shit.
Person.
Persian.
Now, what is that?
What was that right there when you had an advantage, but you didn't share with anybody?
I'm joking.
I didn't have it.
I just wanted to get it.
But it's a good brand.
Stuff's fire.
Stuff's fire.
What's it called?
You didn't want to ruin the logging.
I don't want to shout them out again.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Text me and then I'm going to go out.
I'm going to shout them out for $100 though.
Okay.
Lulu and Georgia.
Do you guys want to get me up?
Baby.
Message me before you do the comma purchases, please.
That should be baseline.
If there's a comma in the purchase, you have to text me.
Why are you getting updates?
Well, you don't need this in your life.
I need updates.
How many of y'all got my fucking Amex?
I need fucking updates.
No, that's my point.
You don't need 15 people with my Amex.
You don't need updates.
Fucking Eddie from WTF Media.
Probably still got my Amex.
I just give them a shit out to everybody.
Everybody who's ever been a part of my business has my fucking Amex.
Just coin is up, baby.
It's down.
It's down.
Too many people buying shit.
I get shit.
I get so many goddamn purchases.
My business manager messaged me the other day and they're like, yo, someone just returned something worth $5,000.
And they were like, do you know what RHP is or some shit?
And I was like, fam, shut up and keep it.
What are you doing?
Finally, we get money back.
Finally, there's money coming back.
You're not spending it.
And you're complaining.
You're complaining about these things.
My girl probably reverse purchased something by accident.
Keep the fucking money.
I don't even care if it's hers.
I don't care if it's coming out of her fucking business school.
Your bank account is like Netflix, bro.
You're just trading passwords with everything.
That's it, bro.
I got 20 accounts on there.
Ted.
I shouldn't have divided accounts.
Watch your fucking narcos.
How many of my shit probably still got my goddamn American Express?
You got too many streams coming in.
They gotta shut that shit down.
I can't wait for my car to be, you know, run out of time.
Maxed out?
What's it called?
No.
Expired?
Expires.
I can't wait.
I'm like, yo, MX, hurry up.
How many?
Because you guys.
Because when it expires, then all the people who have my shit got to ask again.
You're the only person that's never been married, but still paying alimony, bro.
Dude, I don't understand.
All these bitches still live eating off me, bro.
All of them.
Fuck.
Fuck.
No.
Come on, MX.
How are you going to do this to me?
The beginning of a pod.
Everyone that's ever met you is like, dude, Andrew's the nicest guy.
He's the most generous guy.
Now we know.
Oh, my God.
Now we know.
Bro, she set me up lovely, too.
She set me up so lovely.
36 minutes ago, Amazon purchased $37.64.
I'm like, all right.
I'm going to literally eat that.
Yeah.
That was me, actually.
That's pockets, bro.
That's pockets.
That's nut pockets, bro.
That's dust.
Right after that, Lululemon.
What is it?
Lulu in Georgia.
Whoever that bitch is.
Yo, if it's got Lulu in the nave, you're overpaying.
I'm overpaying.
That's a fact, bro.
Oh, my God.
Is it the same bitch that make the pants?
Lulu.
Yeah, 100%.
Who is this bitch?
Let's call this dumb bitch.
Hippy ass bitch.
You're talking about Lulu in Georgia.
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
I'm definitely not going to love my girl.
I feel a similar way, but I'm not going to say it live on a podcast.
Spending.
Fuck me.
Come on, bro.
Lulu in Georgia.
Call Lulu.
This is stupid ass, though.
I want to.
We got to bleep her name out too.
She ain't giving us no fucking discount.
Some furniture at least.
Is it furniture?
Yes.
What costs this amount?
Furniture.
Why?
It's wood.
Nah, she probably got like a whole package.
Oh, my goodness.
It's like $5,000 sofas.
This is not that great.
That shit.
Yeah.
How's that G-Wagon now?
How's that G-Wagon now?
I think my Asperger's going away.
I'm reacting emotionally to this.
I need some more burgers, bro.
Oh, my God.
Dev, return the wagon.
Return the wagon.
Let's go back to 60.
I need to get my X3 again.
Why did you get the G-Wagon for the last like three years?
He spiraled.
I didn't tell you what happened.
No, he blacked out.
Oh, my God.
No, I need to hear this story.
I need to hear this story.
God, bro.
My rental was for three months.
We extended Florida for one month.
I didn't realize that until the guy's like, yo, you got to drop off the BMW.
I was like, yo, just run it back.
He's like, yo, if I run it back, it's more, blah, blah, blah.
Why don't you just come here and we'll see what we can do?
I go there.
He goes, yo, you want to check out anything different?
I go, well, I mean, while we here, you know what I'm saying?
While we here, we might as well check some shit out.
So I started walking the lot.
I see the Audi.
I see an Audi A4 or some shit.
It's a drop top.
I get in that bitch.
I'm like, yo, let me drive around in a drop top.
The guy's like, yo, I could get this for you for like the same that you got the X3 for.
And I'm like, yo, this might be lit.
And then the guy tells me, it's Florida in May.
You're not going to want a drop top, bro.
You're going to melt.
You're going to melt in this drop top.
I'm like, all right, fine.
We keep walking and it was destiny, bro.
It was destiny.
Yeah.
A G-Wagon brand new starts rolling into the parking lot, freshly washed.
They just washed it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They be doing that, though.
They be just washing them.
They be washing these cars.
They be washing the fuck out of it.
When they wash them cars, it's hard.
That's the makeup for cars.
They'd be session.
Yo, that's the eyeliner for cars, bro.
Oh, man.
Yo, this car looks nice.
It was so beautiful when it pulled up.
Shit, there's a Snapchat filter.
It ain't never going to look like that again.
Oh, man.
It's not real.
It's not real.
I had to sit in it, try to close the door.
That shit didn't even close the first time, bro, because I wasn't strong enough.
That heavy, I bet you.
That shit was heavy, dog.
And then he goes, he says, this is how he got me.
He goes, he goes, nah, this is, you can't treat this like a car.
He goes, this is a military vehicle.
When he said that shit, son, I said, sign me up, bro.
I said, I don't care how much it is.
One month will do it.
Thank God the guy gave me a very nice hookup discount, but I had to have that G-Wagon.
And I was driving back home in that fucking G-Wagon, and it hit me about 20 minutes.
It hit me about 20 minutes, right?
And I'm driving back home, yo.
And I was like, let me tell you something.
If my girl doesn't shit her pants with excitement when I show her this car, I think I'm canceling the wedding, bro.
I think if she doesn't hop out of bed and shit her fucking pants out of sheer excitement for this goddamn car, the wedding is canceled.
Okay?
I'm not playing games, bro.
I rolled up mad loud, hit the fucking horn.
Lean on it.
Lean on that bitch.
Mark came down concerned.
I thought there was a dispute happening, bro.
I was scared.
I was like, Andrew Hoover drivers got a G-Wagon.
Wedding Canceled Over Excitement00:14:31
My girl goes to look to the car.
This is her dream car, right?
I really did it for her.
It's her dream fucking car.
She comes out.
She goes, oh my God.
She's hugging me, kissed me.
She walks back in.
I'm in bed like, yeah, it's poppy.
I'm like, it's poppy right now.
What do you mean?
He's coming home delivering, right?
What do you expect then?
She come back in.
She goes, man, it's like a boat.
So I swear to God, I swear to God, I almost put that shit in reverse and just walked out the car.
I almost put it in reverse and just walked out the car and let that shit dry.
That's right.
Drive in with him, bro.
Sailed away.
Drive off the bridge.
We're going to make it a boat.
Spend the wheels on the ready the fucking canal.
You keep calling this shit a boat, yo.
Oh my God.
Spending all my goddamn money, bro.
Making me spend my goddamn money.
Maybe that's a compliment, though.
Girls love boats.
Nah, but you know, when you got out, now she knows maybe you don't want to buy it down the road.
You spent this money now.
If you bought it down the road, it'd be like, what the fuck we got this for?
Yeah, I'm not buying that down the road.
Yeah, now you know.
I'm not buying it.
I mean, I'll be honest with you, it's fire.
Really?
It is fire.
It's also my girl's dream car, which I don't, I'm not.
Yeah.
We got it in a court.
I'll be honest with you, though.
This is something I really learned, bro.
Like, it don't feel that good helping them achieve their dreams.
That's the one they never tell you, actually.
That's a great point.
You're like, you thought it would, right?
You thought it would, right?
Like, you're like, yo, this is, oh, that was a good thought.
Yo, You thought it would.
Now you thought it would because you're like, this is her dream car.
I'm going to get it.
And then she tell you that.
They tell you.
They're the best thing to help someone achieve their dream.
Like, this is her dream.
So I'm going to help you live your dream.
They be waking up, man, quick.
Son, they wake up quick.
They wake up quick.
You can't get a REM cycle out this motherfucker.
Not even one, bro.
It's a boat.
That shit was a boat.
I just got the G-Wagon.
It's a boat now.
It's a boat.
You described it as a boat.
There's a lot of different, there's a lot of different words you could use to describe cars.
Boat's not one of them.
You could say, This is my dream car.
Dream come true.
This a dream come true.
That's it.
But you come back here with a boat.
We got problems now.
Now, in the future, my dream, when you say something like, oh, that's my dream purse, like, you better get some sleep.
It's like a tote bag.
You better get some sleep.
Oh, God.
It's like a backpack.
Yo, yeah.
Because that's the only time you're getting that.
It's like a life wrap, dude.
Bro, I love this.
Unbelievable, bro.
Unbelievable.
I never thought I would feel that way.
But that's on her for making me feel that way.
It's like female propaganda, bro.
It is propaganda.
It gets so nice to help people achieve their dreams.
Help your girl achieve her dreams the best.
I thought I loved it.
And after experiencing it, I do not.
Compared to achieving my own dreams?
Yeah.
It's not even close.
Son, you know what I get the same out of?
This is what I get the same out of.
We're at dinner, right?
And then she's like, should we get dessert?
And I'm like, we're getting two.
That's the same as getting a G-Wagon.
Literally, the same reaction.
The same reaction.
The same reaction as a G-Wagon is two desserts.
And at the end, she's like, I feel like a boat.
I'm dying.
Oh, my God.
So I'm telling you, bro, don't help them achieve their dreams, bro.
It's not the return.
The return on the investment is very similar.
It's very similar to much cheaper things.
Two desserts is way better.
Two desserts.
Wait, my girl, I want to get you your dream apartment.
Here we are.
Here we are.
It's like a pool house.
It does feel here.
We are.
Card is going crazy.
My card's going crazy right now.
Amex not even stepping in the way.
Step in.
Step in.
This is your job.
I'm going to be doing nothing, yo.
You're going to be doing nothing.
When I want to buy some shit, you want to embarrass me.
You want to step in and embarrass me, right?
When I want to go buy a watch, when I want to go buy a nice fucking watch, Amex will immediately, whoa, Okay, this girl furnishing a goddamn castle.
And I don't get a single fucking interruption from Amazon.
Yo, will you do this for me if this ever happens?
What?
My girl spends way too much.
I need you to call her from a secret number and say it's fraud.
Yo, this is a great idea.
It's probably going to happen anyway because you're probably using Andrew's Amex.
Don't even stress it.
It's the house Amex.
Everybody in the house is more than welcome to use it, guys.
I'm surprised all the listeners don't know my fucking Amex by now.
Bro, we're a hedge fund.
We are.
We are a fucking hedge fund.
We're bleeding money, but we're cool.
Oh, my goodness Christ.
My goodness, Christ.
I'll be looking at it like, I'm bringing Christ into this right now, son.
I've been looking at so many people with Andrew's Amex.
I'm just like, what the hell is happening right now?
Everybody got his Amex?
Yo, literally?
Everybody in this room got Miami.
Not me.
Everybody else.
Yo, everybody in this room, Miles got Miami.
Yo, you gotta rob.
Everybody at home planning to rob me.
You don't gotta rob me.
Rob them.
They got all the information.
You don't have to rob me.
There's something you can get from me that you can't get from them.
Go rob them.
Save me.
Oh, my God.
I constantly see, I'll be looking at me like I constantly see shit too.
That's the that's the issue.
How did Mark get a platinum amex?
Oh, and then Miles, how the fuck Miles got a platinum?
Oh, shit.
Yo, I'm so concerned with all my charges and shit like that.
I've been flying first class.
I had to text Dove.
I said, Dove, are you buying this motherfucking first class tickets with my Amex?
I was, I couldn't believe it.
That's the Persian first class, bro.
It might have been.
That's how it goes.
On the Delta, I was like, oh, he's Delta.
He could use his points.
Now we're on American.
He was flying first class.
I was like, Dove?
Literally text me while we're on the flight and he's sitting in front of you in that first class.
And I'm like, no, you burned through his miles and paid a couple.
Nah, he just keeps vanessing, bro.
By the way, that was garbage first class.
It was.
It was.
Dimension first class ain't worth nothing, yo.
American is trash, bro.
If you ain't laying flat, get out of here.
Oh my god.
That's economy plus, bro.
Get out of here.
It really is economy plus, man.
It was economy plus, bro.
Okay, I think I'm back.
The comic comes back.
Say what?
The comic.
You definitely pay me back for being in first class, though.
Oh, yeah.
I hit him.
Oh, I hit him out, bro.
I farted no less than 700 times.
G's up.
I mean, that's up.
I mean that sincerely.
And it seems like I'm being hyperbolic.
The pilot came on and he was like, We're experiencing it on air pressure in the cabin, but keep on ascending for some reason.
Sorry for the turbulence.
We don't know what's causing it, but we're going to get to the bottom of this right now.
There's a methane leak.
Oh my God, it was so foul, bro.
They were sulfuric.
Yeah.
The farts were sulfuric.
Yeah, people were concerned.
I still laugh.
I remember Aaron told me a similar story on the podcast where he was farting next to a girl.
I'd be farting.
And then it was silent, and then she was trying not to respond.
And at one point, dead silent, he farts silently, and then he just hears from a lady.
This bitch was over it, bro.
She was over it.
She was doing my farts a whole flight.
And then she took one deep huff.
She's went.
And this is pre-mask.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is pre-mask.
Dude, mask on.
You can still smell it.
Mask off.
Oh, it's all in there.
It's game over, dude.
This girl was furious, and she knew exactly where it was coming from.
Yeah, right there.
No, zoom them, bro.
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you were hitting Al with that.
The one too.
Oh, yeah.
Al was right behind me.
I was just letting it rip.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
This felt so good.
Just air out your colon, dude.
Dude, I was airing out.
I gotta get that shit checked.
I do have to.
Actually, on that flight, I was like, I have a problem.
Do you think you have more colon checks?
I have a problem.
I have six times.
I shit just three times a day, and I fart at least 150 times a day.
And I think I have an actual physical problem.
You think you have more colon?
What do you think it is?
Maybe it's how you stay lean, bro.
Maybe you're getting it all out.
I think I am getting it all out.
I think that does help me stay lean.
Yes.
But I also think that I have some sort of digestive issue that turns everything into farts.
High pressure, high pressure colon.
Exactly.
Everything gets turned into farts with me.
So it's like, yeah, it's different forms of energy.
There's different types of natural gas over there.
Say what?
I am natural gas.
Ecofart.
I am environmental.
Eco-friendly.
This is methane.
Yeah.
Whoa, dude.
Whoa.
There's some fracking going on there.
They are fracking your ass.
Yeah, we got to find a way to utilize this.
What if we could use the farts for energy?
It's got to be a way.
That technology will come about.
100%.
Yeah.
Dove, you think about this?
You look like something hit you.
No, maybe it's nothing as far as the world.
Cow farts on it.
Yeah, but that's cow farts, bro.
Human farts is different.
Yeah, human farts are kind of lit.
All right, so should we talk about another topic?
No, Al's Doge debacle.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry for interrupting that.
You didn't interrupt.
No.
What?
You didn't interrupt.
I didn't interrupt.
No.
Okay, good.
You were trying to save your bank.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
I was interrupting.
Yeah, Amex interrupted.
Okay, so I, first of all, this was so sweet because I did not know anything was going on with this, and I just saw Mark laughing hysterically.
Oh, it made me so happy.
Oh, my God.
Okay, go.
But Mark has been trying to get me to get Dogecoin for months.
Yeah, I was trying to, yeah.
If you put in the amount of money you put in Bitcoin and Dogecoin, how much money would you have?
You'd be less.
How much less?
How is it possible it was less?
Less.
At some point, less.
At some point, less.
What does that mean?
At some point, we're all dead.
I just want to side with Akasha.
So, whatever he says, I'm about to go.
It's not a real thing.
It's not a real thing.
If you put the amount of money, it means nothing.
Yeah.
And Dodge, you would be crazy right now.
Yeah.
You'd be out this word.
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
He does better than Scotland, right?
Even with the drop.
How are you doing?
Dogecoin's.
Whoa, Dogecoin sucks.
Yeah, yeah, fire.
What?
Even with the drop, bro, I'm still good.
Huh?
I bought in early.
All right, so basically, tell the story.
Here's what Al did, okay?
So basically, Al decided to take some.
Sorry, everybody.
Al took investing advice from fucking.
Pushing through that moment of awkwardness.
There were seven different conversations going on, but we finally have gotten back to our focus point.
Okay, Mark, tell the story about how Al lost all his money.
We're in the green room.
And we're all talking about Dogecoin.
We're like, dude, Elon's going to talk about Dogecoin in the monologue and the sketch.
It's going to spike.
It's going to go super high.
It's going to hit a dollar by Sunday.
And then it's going to crash by Tuesday.
So let's all buy in now.
It's going to go big.
And then we sell on Tuesday and then we'll all make a ton of money.
And that was Miles' whole strategy.
Miles is sort of our like.
Miles is maybe the worst investor in the history of investment.
I think he is the worst investor.
He really is.
Every time he talks about investments, he lost.
This motherfucker has gone all in on Dogecoin.
Onyx.
This is the thing, though.
And that stupid mustache.
He had Bitcoin and sold it dumb early.
Yeah, he did.
Dude, that's no, he did that with Bitcoin and Dogecoin.
He bought Dogecoin at like half a cent and then sold it at six cents.
And then that was it.
He's like, yeah, bro.
I made my money.
Made my money.
All right, so go on.
So boom, what happened?
So Elon goes on.
So Al put down all his money.
Al goes, yo, I'm putting in five grand.
Okay.
Puts up five G's, throws into Dogecoin an hour.
An out of five.
An hour of a thousand.
An hour before.
Why are you trying to front on a podcast?
I'm going to let that go.
Yeah, he flexed it.
I didn't know how much it was.
So he put in a grand in Dogecoin, which is still a lot of money.
And then he puts it up.
And then as soon as Elon goes on stage, that shit drops.
The second he goes up, that shit drops immediately.
Falls like, what, 30 points?
And I hit a val, and he doesn't even know yet.
So I just keep on watching it.
And I don't tell him.
And I just keep on watching the fall.
And it keeps on going.
I saw Mark's story with the Dogecoin price.
He said, This is so funny.
And I didn't know why.
Laughing hysterically at my face.
But apparently, Elon had a fucking sketch where he called it a hustle.
Fucking idiot.
Yeah.
You got a hustle.
He's not an idiot.
You got hustled, bro.
Yeah.
The biggest person, the biggest proponent of it, don't call it a hustle.
Yeah, because we all know it's a hustle.
Yeah, but as long as he doesn't admit that he's not making money on the hustle.
As long as he doesn't admit that.
You're just trying to make money while it's in meme.
We know this.
But there's dumbbells like Miles that doesn't know.
Don't say we.
We know.
We notice.
But Miles thought it was going to the moon, baby.
So he put in a great deal.
This bitch bought something.
Is that real?
Can I look at the phone, please?
Verify that it's real.
Sometimes Andrew just can I see?
Take a look at the phone.
Oh my goodness.
I'll just jump.
You see the buy thing.
I just had to get us out of that moment.
Oh my God.
Okay.
So, Al, how much did you lose total?
I didn't lose anything.
Oh, my God.
Stop.
What do you mean you didn't lose anything?
Because I bought in early when it was low.
So my initial investment, it kind of like canceled out.
So it's like, bro, you bought in the hour before the stock's high.
I had already had if you count the money that you spent before.
How much you lose from the thousand?
Oh, from thousand like $200.
It's not bad.
Okay.
This is what I felt was the most interesting thing with the whole Dogecoin fiasco.
Is it in a weird way, the proof of slippery slope, but From the side of the people, not from the side of like the oppressive, tyrannical government.
Yes.
So I go to Al, yo, you just gonna sell it?
You might as well just sell it.
And then Al goes, I've been trying to go on Robinhood and they won't let me.
I can't access my account, or you just wouldn't let you sell.
They wouldn't let you sell, right?
Now, a few weeks ago when Robinhood did that with GameStop, we flipped out.
We're like, yo, the FBI got to arrest this motherfucker.
This is an absolute crime.
Like, how can this person not be in jail right now?
It's disgusting what they're doing.
They're rigging the markets, et cetera, right?
People like, I'm boycotting Robinhood.
I'll never put my money with Robinhood.
This is fucked up.
It's fucked up what they're doing, right?
Three weeks later, when it happens, Al is just like, yeah, it's annoying, but it is what it is.
So the slippery slope is not often the government.
It's the people allowing themselves to be oppressed.
So it's the government or the people in power are always going to try to utilize that power to get what they want.
But the people's tolerance is what adjusts.
And we've just become comfortable with the fact that if Robinhood or these other accounts just don't want to let us sell our shit because it could benefit them, they might.
And we just got to sit there and take it.
That's kind of wild.
Oh, I actually thought it was an issue with the structure, like too many people trying to sell at once.
Yeah, that was because it started.
Motherfucker, figure your shit out.
Bitcoin Ownership Concentration00:05:43
What is this?
It's too many people trying to sell at once.
Your whole app is sell, buy and sell.
Like you have two things to worry about.
Yeah.
But I think.
Buy and sell now.
The whole thing is you could do it right now.
I think what it says to me is the only fucking thing.
He's extra solid, but he's like, some people could buy all the time.
You know what I mean?
They buy super easily.
So they're buying always, everyone's selling.
You know what I mean?
It's like when everybody tries to buy Jordans at once and the fucking app, the website just crashes.
It's just only so many transactions of websites.
Yo, yo, yo, make a better website, bro.
I ain't got time for this.
I know, we're not.
You got my money.
Imagine trying to get your money out the bank and the bank is like, yo, we're just too many people trying to get money out the bank.
Yeah, yeah.
Suck my dick.
Yeah.
You making money off my money.
And then when I need to make some money, you're not going to let me?
Fuck you.
Yeah.
That's crazy because you only had a thousand in there.
Imagine you put a million in there.
Now, imagine you had a million in Robinhood and you're like, yo, I got to sell.
This shit is going down.
It wasn't going the way that I thought it was going to go.
This is my kid's college fund, et cetera.
Yeah.
Now all of a sudden it's not, oh, the website's down.
Yeah.
It's like, yo, you are stealing my money.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Now, with the GameStop thing and the crypto thing, it's a little different just because there's a precedent for GameStop where it's like with this with stock trading, like there's a, I guess, a history of how stock trading goes.
Whereas with crypto, it seems like it's just kind of wild.
Wow, West, baby.
That's why we're crypto cowboys.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Wait, wait, I don't understand why.
Like, because like trading like crypto is almost trading like a like a Forex.
It's like you're trading on like exchanges or something.
It's like you're trading a currency almost.
Whereas like with Bit or with GME, it's like you're trading like a stock and there's a precedent in history for like how stocks are traded.
So I think people being outraged by GameStop makes sense considering the precedent.
Whereas like the crypto thing is just like, can't sell crypto and that's just what it is.
Awesome.
No, it isn't.
What benefits?
Why would it be?
Hold on, hold on.
Why would it be that?
The app never told you initially.
They never said, hey, by the way, it's crypto.
So we might just not let you sell it.
No, but in terms of the cultural idea about how people view selling.
The cultural idea about how you view selling crypto is it's instantaneous.
It's actually more functional than traditional stocks because you can trade it in the moment and that gets minted the blockchain in the moment.
24-7.
24-7.
The historical precedent is much better than socks.
That's why it's so shocking.
I actually believe it with stocks because they've shut down the stock market before.
They shut it down in the Great Depression.
They shut it down.
I'm sure other times throughout history where shit was really fucked up.
There's zero precedent for them abusing the markets like this.
What do they gain from stopping people selling Doge?
Well, there's a run on the coin.
But what is so they stop the run on the coin?
It's like when the banks close because there's a run on the banks, everybody wants to get their money out the bank, and the banks are like, Oh, my bad.
So, Robin Hood is super invested in Dogecoin?
Maybe not Robinhood, but maybe what is it?
The people that own Robinhood or the people that uh pay Robinhood crazy money to get the um their trade information, Citadel, etc.
So, like, the way that they make money is that, like, Citadel is this big hedge fund basically buys their investor data.
So, now you have all of us investing and making these trades, buying or selling things, and that information goes to Citadel.
Citadel can make their big hedge fund moves based on all this buy and sell data.
Yeah, so what if Citadel is super invested in a company and they actually it would hurt Citadel in a huge way if there was a run on the coin?
So, Citadel might be, I'm not saying this is what happened, but it is a potential, this is hypothetical.
Like, the worst case scenario, they go, Yo, shut that shit down because we're gonna lose mad money.
And I think the difference is we are it's hypothetical that there are hedge funds invested in Bitcoin, et cetera, in their best interest.
And with GameStop, the whole point was, oh, a bunch of hedge funds are shorting GameStop.
Fuck the hedge funds, let's all buy GameStop and drive this.
So, you knew you were the hedge funds, and you knew you were in the hedge funds' best interest.
This time, there's no for sure uh hedge fund behind it.
We're thinking maybe there is this is why this is why there might be because I believe that 80% of Bitcoin is owned by like the top 100 addresses.
Sorry, sorry, Dogecoin.
So, what they're saying is like 80% of the coin wealth is centralized in only 100 different people.
Around 100 people control Doge's entire 46 billion dollar market.
If 46 billion dollar market cap is controlled by 100 people, you don't think a few of them are like, Al literally went on Twitter the second his shit started to drop.
He was like, Buy Doge.
He's like, I'm not letting this fucking coin fall.
Imagine you could call up the dude from Robinhood and be like, Hey, hey, cut that shit out for a little bit.
I'm not about to have this coin just go to the fucking floor.
Yeah, I here's my question about Dogecoin.
I don't get lost in the woods, but then couldn't you just make more Dogecoin?
Like, isn't that the whole point?
You can never, it never, there's no like finite amount.
No, I think they have a finite amount, they don't have a finite amount, but they have an amount, they don't have a rule on not making more, but they do have an amount that they say they were going to make.
Whereas Bitcoin, it the way I guess the formula is set up is that it just stops minting at a certain point.
Yeah, they haven't done all the minting for Dogecoin, and then and this is the real thing about Dogecoin, which is like if Dogecoin can become popular enough, the minting money will go towards Doge.
Right now, the minting money, I imagine, is with Ethereum, is with Bitcoin.
But if people start taking that minting power and putting it on Doge, that's what drives the price up.
Yeah, right, yeah, because they're like, oh shit, there's more profit to be made if we're getting this Dogecoin than there is Bitcoin.
It's so much mining to get a Bitcoin, yeah, opposed to this Doge, which is currently going to the move.
Anyway, point is, it's just interesting how tolerable we can become of tyranny.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's what's a Canada shit, bro.
Yeah, yo, it's fucked up what's happening in Canada, bro.
Dogecoin Minting Mechanics00:05:45
It's really fucked up.
They're thinking about doing another lockdown.
What Canada got it?
Canada gotta eat this, bro.
They can't say nothing about healthcare ever again.
Yo, we gotta close our borders.
We can't tell these Canadians to come in.
We did take our health care.
Yeah, I think low-key, I think we did.
That's what we need to do.
We gotta help them, bro.
That's just they're refugees.
Son, we do Canadian refugees.
Yo, should we treat them like Cubans?
Like, if they get one foot in America and then they get some sort of like status, a citizenship, a bunch of little Elian Gonzalez's, that'd be sick.
Yeah, Canadians are nice.
They'd be like good workers and stuff.
Like, they want to come over.
Nah, but for real, it is fucked up.
What's going on over there, man?
And I guess maybe it's happened in other places as well.
I heard like in Europe, they might do another lockdown.
I don't get it, bro.
At a certain point in time, people can lose it.
It's not working.
The lockdown's not working at a certain point in time.
I mean, I don't know if Wheels is telling the truth, but like that Texas governor motherfucker every single day tweets about how low the cases are and how many people are vaccinated.
And it looks like Texas is popping.
Texas cracking open.
I mean, Florida popping.
We were in Arizona.
Arizona might have been the wildest of all the places we've been.
I've heard Arizona been open.
Son.
It's wild, bro.
And granted, you know, if vitamin D is the thing that actually stops you from dying from COVID, they got plenty of vitamin D out there, son.
Yeah.
But it just shows them there's places that are fucking wide open.
Man, we had so much fun in Arizona.
Thank you, everybody, came out to the shows.
This was so, this shit was so much fun.
We were sitting around to like four in the morning, just telling stories, talking a story.
This is what my boy Bobby calls it, man.
Hawaiians have a term just called talking a story.
And we're out until four in the morning, literally just like regaling parts of our like childhood.
Jamil was there.
We were talking about like old New York shit that was happening.
Like we were having so much fucking fun.
And it literally reminded me of Burning Man.
Yeah.
It was just so cool to like sit down and just like, I don't know, just connect with a bunch of people and everybody talk about their like most embarrassing stories.
It was cool.
Like, it was cool to like make fun of each other, but also like build each other up, like tell the coolest stories that ever happened in Jamil and also the most embarrassing ones.
I don't know.
We get at least lost in the sauce because a lot of times we live an amazing life and it's incredible.
But a lot of times I think it's very, you know, work focused as well.
And we enjoy what we do, but you know, we got to work on these bits for the stage.
We got to work on this show.
We got to work on these things for the podcast.
And it's so much fun that it gets blended.
But this was a few hours where there was no work at all.
And it was just like, yo, let's hang out, make each other laugh and have fun.
And man, that shit filled me up so much.
I was super grateful for that.
Yeah.
I learned a lot about you and Jamil and Dove.
Learned a lot about Dove.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Goddamn mouth.
Yeah, Man, I feel it's a little tense right now.
You notice it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll just jump in the notes, hoping.
I saw Al's icon and the notes just nope.
Maybe we tell that story on Patreon.
Maybe that's a Patreon story.
That's a wild story, bro.
Dove story is crazy.
Son, this is how wild it was.
I forgot it.
Like, I forgot the wild part of it.
No, you just made your own reality.
That's what you did.
I did make my own reality.
You locked it out.
Yeah.
You said it to me once as a, I thought it was a joke.
You truly said, I was like, dude, like, how do you deal with this, this?
Like, I was asking you, like, genuine advice.
You go, yeah, bro.
You just make your own reality.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, funny.
That's a good one.
No, yeah, you just do that.
That shit happened to me a bunch of times in my life.
Really fucked up things happen.
I just forgot.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Ass burger, dog.
Yeah, it's great.
I think I got burgers, bro.
You're burnt out.
I got burgers, bro.
I really think I got broken.
Big Mac.
Big Mac.
What else happened, bro?
P-break?
Yeah, let's do a little P-break.
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Now let's get back to the show.
All right, and we're back.
Okay.
So we're out there in Arizona.
We're cooling, chilling by the pool.
And all of a sudden, people start hitting me up.
They're like, yo, Chappelle's on Rogan and he's hating on you, bro.
He's throwing shade at you, right?
I'm like, there's no fucking way that Chappelle would be throwing shade or even hating or that I would even be on his radar, right?
So someone sends me the clip and I check it out.
And let's play it.
Let's play.
They're doing things online.
And like Andrew Schultz, the best example, I think.
Arizona Poolside Stand Up00:12:03
He started doing those things like long rants, like 10, 15-minute rants with photographs and punchline after punchline after punchline.
Then they did a whole Netflix special about it.
Like he did a series of Netflix pieces on it.
And what he did was, he said, okay, I can't do stand-up, but this isn't stand-up.
So I shouldn't do stand-up like this because there's no audience.
So the key to that, and he figured it out.
He's like, the key to this is you got to hit it fast.
The punchlines have to come one after the other.
It's got to be fast-paced and with images.
So like he would use all these visuals while he was hitting punchline after punchline.
Oh, wow.
He figured out a new way to do comedy.
He figured out a way to do internet, Instagram, 10-minute comedy.
Well, okay.
But that's not, like you say, that's not stand-up.
No.
Like this thing that you're describing, God bless him.
Yeah.
That's not what I do.
Yeah, it's different.
It's different.
It's different than the way he does stand-up, which is interesting because his stand-up is slower.
He holds laughs.
He holds pause.
He laughs at shit.
He fucks around.
He works a crowd a lot.
His stand-up is loose.
Right.
He has fun.
He's comfortable up there.
But these little clips that he does on Instagram are rapid fire.
Bang, bang, bang.
And he works with a series of writers.
They all work together.
They put these things together.
They work it out, man.
By the time it's done, I mean, it is a polished machine.
But he used that time and innovated.
That's clever.
I don't think I, yeah, it's not.
I mean, I'm not interested in it because no disrespect to him.
I like happening in real life.
Yeah.
Like, even during COVID, the fact that we found a way to get in front of audiences again meant the world to me.
That's what I do.
Yeah.
It's a different thing.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, I could throw a slide showing the shit if I wanted to, but that crowd's not there.
What's the fucking point for me?
I know what you mean, but for him, he's coming up still.
You know, you'd already made it.
Well, you got to get back in there.
Yeah, and it's a whole different ball of wax.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, that thing that he was, that evolution he was able to make, I'm like the old guy who has that high outfit from the 70s.
Fashion, go on without me.
I look fine.
I'm that.
I'm good with what I first of all.
Joe is the man.
Yeah, that was so dope.
Like, Joe is just the man.
And he is like, he's so rare in that he celebrates other people's creativity and success.
Like a lot of people who are even at the fucking top and you can't go higher than Rogan, you know, they still want to protect what they have, so they won't celebrate.
Joe's superpower is his lack of insecurity.
Yeah.
It is what he like.
If I'm interviewing somebody that's smart or talking to somebody that's smart and I'm Joe Rogan, I'm going to always try to put little smart shit in there.
Oh, I need to come up with a good point because I'm insecure and I want to be like, well, I'm not dumb.
I don't give a fuck.
Hey, you talk.
That's why he's a great interviewer.
And this is the same kind of thing where it's like, I'm eagolous.
Here's a kid doing amazing things.
I love what he's doing.
Flowers, flowers, flowers.
Yes.
On the biggest stage possible, flowers, because I have no insecurity.
A lot of people that are successful still have that insecurity.
I'm like, well, I can't get flowers because then they might not think I'm as dope as I am.
Joe don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
So, and you are killing it.
So he's like, yo, Andrew, killing it.
Yeah.
Well, that's we.
We're doing it.
That's not just me, those things.
Mark worked incredibly hard.
He wrote them with me.
Robbie as well.
FA, you were helping out on them as well.
Alex growing up.
Miles with the pictures.
That was a group effort.
But it was so dope to see him give it up.
And like, if there's one thing that I've tried to continue to pass on that I've definitely got from Rogan, it's like when you see other people doing dope creative shit, pass it on.
And like, you know, I hope that we've used this platform to expose you guys to new people that we think are really awesome.
And, you know, I hope we've been doing that.
I think we are doing it.
I think we've been putting people on.
I think that we've been sharing what we have with other people that hopefully you appreciate it.
And now to Dave.
I actually let me just give some context to this.
I think I would have reacted the same way as Dave, given how I was described.
Because if Dave has no clue who I am in terms of stand-up, right?
And Joe's describing this like kind of YouTube or Instagram comedy.
And you know how we all are.
The second you told me about like a funny YouTuber or funny Instagrammer.
Yeah.
We're like, I don't give a fuck what that shit is.
A little slideshow.
We're stand-ups.
Yeah.
Exactly.
We're stand-ups.
So it's just like, I understand that first reaction.
Yeah.
Right.
And then, so I probably would have reacted the same way in that regard.
But then when Joe's like, no, he's a stand-up.
It's different.
And he found a way to evolve within the times.
And then I think he was a little bit dismissive to it.
And he was like, that's not my type of comedy.
That's not what I do.
And I guess the only pushback I would give there to Dave is that like Dave is a household name, not because of stand-up, but because of a different type of comedy.
And he's still on any list.
He's one of the goats.
That doesn't change that.
But you know what?
Like people know him from Chappelle shows.
Yeah, like sketch show is what made him a household name.
Like if you think of like iconic Chappelle lines, you're thinking of lines from I was a Dave Chappelle stand-up fan before the show.
We love Dave as a stand-up.
And it was there wasn't a lot of people like that.
I remember going to see him right before the show came out.
It was, he was at a theater, but it wasn't like it was easy to get tickets.
Right.
There were empty seats next to us.
Yeah.
It's not like he made it as a household name through stand-up.
He didn't make it through stand-up.
He used something else.
And then we found him.
And then when we saw his stand-up, we're like, holy shit, this guy's fucking prolific.
We love him as stand-ups.
We always knew how amazing he was.
Right.
And current living goat.
Yeah.
And very few comedians break through just as stand-ups.
A lot of them will have a show or something else.
Exactly.
Yes.
100%.
It's very rare.
Like fucking Jim Gaffigan.
Yeah.
You know, some people will say me because of YouTube.
Dave Bargets.
Nate Bargatzi is another one.
But, but look, again, so I think that he would be a little bit more, I guess, maybe understanding of the other types of comedy.
You know what I mean?
We all love that person-to-person interaction.
Yeah.
But like, we're also not multi-millionaires and we can COVID test every single person that comes to do a show in a barn.
Like, I don't have a barn.
Yeah.
Most people don't have barns.
Yeah.
And they don't have millions of dollars to pay for COVID testing and these types of things.
So there were limitations to what we could do.
And we tried to work around those limitations.
And then, so do I understand the reaction?
Yeah, I think people made too much of it.
Like there's some fucking beat, or like he's hating on me or a shade or that kind of shit.
Like, I really don't think it is that.
But I don't know.
I mean, maybe that's just me.
I think he caught himself.
And I've, we've all done this.
There's nothing wrong with this.
You're being a little salty and then you catch yourself.
And I think that's where he said the end part.
Like, I'm the dude in the 70s with the hot outfit.
Like, this is what I do.
I think he was like, I'm hating.
Okay, let me explain why I'm hating.
Let me not hate.
And I think he was thinking, I'm kind of hating.
We've all done this where you're like, I think I'm kind of hating.
Check myself and be real with myself and say, Yeah, but I'm the, you know, I'm an older dude who's been doing stand-up 30 years.
This is what I know.
This is what I'm gonna do.
I think he caught himself.
I do think he knows a little bit about you for sure, us for sure, this podcast for sure.
Dave's a plugged-in dude.
One of the coolest moments in my life as a stand-up is somebody telling me this is before Flagrant really cracked off.
Somebody telling me a story of Dave Chappelle watching my Heckler video twice, watching it once, playing it back for his friends.
I fucking screamed like a fucking groupie.
It was the greatest moment as a stand.
So, yeah, that's great also.
And that's to give Dave his flowers.
That still means the world to me.
But he's also incredibly plugged in.
He knows what the fuck is going on.
He knows we've had clips where we might have been critical of certain things he did.
I think we tried to be three-dimensional and still give him his flowers as one of the greatest of all time.
To me, probably the greatest of all time.
But I think he was a little bit salty about that and took one or two shots.
And then to his credit, checked himself.
I was like, you know what, man?
I don't need to do that.
I'm fucking Dave Chappelle.
So let me give my own.
Yeah, this is what I'm saying.
What it is, what most people who are OGs do.
Like, Joe is the exception.
Joe's the OG who's like, I want to give everybody flowers.
Like, Charlemagne's like that.
Like, Charlemagne's the OG that, like, he just wants to share and like bring people up, et cetera.
And then there are also some OGs, and I got these fucking tendencies too.
It's like everybody's like, yo, you got to get on TikTok.
And I'm like, the fuck am I going to do on TikTok?
And if a TikTok would be like, fuck that little guy.
And then as an evolutionary thing, you're growing up.
You'd be like, you know what?
Let me check myself.
I'm old.
This is what I know.
I think that's what Dave was doing.
I have no problem with it.
I don't think he was taking a shot.
I think a moment of insecurity is allowed or a moment of hating or whatever you call it is allowed.
And then he was like, well, I don't know.
It was funny because Joe's trying to describe like what we do.
And then Dave's like, he's like, that's just not what I do.
And Joe's like, yeah, yeah, we're not talking about you.
We're talking about what this other guy does.
He's like, but that's not what I do.
He's like, yeah, I know, but you already made it.
Like, they're trying to make it.
But I didn't listen to the whole buildup.
But like, it seemed like, yeah, kind of similar to what you were saying.
If someone were to ask you, like, I don't know, you like certain like prank YouTube videos or something.
Yeah.
But if someone were to describe it and you hadn't seen it and they were like, oh, yeah, these guys, they mess with people in the grocery store.
Yeah.
Like, that's not what I do.
Especially if it's in the context of stand-up.
Yeah.
And talking about stand-up and talking about what you do.
And someone goes, oh, you know, who else does great stuff?
This guy that does these prank videos.
Yeah.
I don't, that's not.
But this is not stand-up.
Even though you actually do like those things, you just might not have seen it.
That's what I saw it as, kind of like when I re-watched it, you know.
But then when they was like correcting it and describing what was going on and all these things, it seemed like a little bit, you know.
I'm PowerPoint Shulsi, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
We out here.
But I think at the end, I think he came around and was like, yeah, but I'm also, I'm old.
I'm the dude from the 70s.
Like, this is what I know.
So I was like, hey, that's, he gave a three-dimensional view of it in the end.
He like, I wasn't mad.
People put a lot of gas on it.
I wasn't.
Because it's fun.
It's fun.
They put gas on it.
It's fun, I guess.
And I guess you could definitely interpret that way.
What were you going to say, Al?
I was just going to say, like, I agree with what Mark said.
And also, he just talks like a GOAT.
Like, imagine MJ Kobe.
Yeah.
And somebody talking about how somebody else plays.
He's like, yeah, but he don't do what I do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like MJ said about LeBron.
You just got to force him to left.
Yeah.
So it's like, I don't even necessarily take it as shade.
It's just like, hey, I'm just so focused on what I do.
Yeah.
Everything else doesn't matter.
Yeah.
I guess the only pushback I would give with that is like, that isn't what you did to get here.
You did do other things to get here.
You did try to like evolve sketch.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You did try.
And you had the most prolific sketch show in history.
So you would think that there maybe be some understanding to comics who are trying to get to that same place.
But again, he might have no clue what the context is.
And then maybe he afterwards goes, oh shit, I did see those things.
Oh, now I know what it is.
So I can't put too much gas on it.
That's the thing about it.
Like, as much as I would love for one of my fucking idols and heroes, like Dave, to be like the biggest fan of the thing, like for me, it's so easy to get caught up in the person that's not maybe enjoying your shit or doesn't care.
Or what I guess the word he was like, it's I'm not interested or whatever.
But at the same time, I got one of my other idols in my heroes going, oh my God, this is great stuff.
He did the best thing during the pandemic.
It's like, I'm going to choose to focus my energy there.
When I was younger, I probably wouldn't be able to do that.
And as I get older, like, man, what a fucking blessing, man.
The fucking goat Joe Rogan is saying, yo, we did some amazing shit.
And, you know, we did the best thing during the pandemic.
And he thinks it's worth bringing up to Chappelle.
Worth bringing up to the living goat with Kami.
He was like, I don't know.
For me, that's a, I think we should be very proud of it.
And I could check my ego, and it is what it is.
Maybe Chappelle will see it one day.
Maybe he'll change his tune.
And if he doesn't, that's fine too.
Fuck it.
You know what I mean?
I think the takeaway from this is I'm not going to get a Chappelle chain anytime soon.
And you know what?
I can live with that.
I think I'll be okay.
You know, and if Dave wants to rethink that, then we can have that discussion.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Bro, we don't even get chains, though.
Proud Of Pandemic Work00:03:41
That's fucked up on your part.
I should get y'all chains.
How dare you?
What kind of chains should I get?
Jewish stars.
What?
Star David.
Do we get Jewish stars?
Star of Schultzy.
Yeah.
Star of A. Star of Andrew.
I could fucking never.
But we should get something like jackets or something for flagrant tattoos.
Your face.
Varsity jackets for the fucking shit.
Definitely my face.
Definitely my face.
Nah, we should have something like that.
Like a gang has a bandana.
We need a fucking bandana or something, dude.
Yeah.
We need some sort of symbol that embodies the family and friendship.
Fuck you looking at me because they're all gangs and they do have the coolest thing.
They scared at me the moment he said gags.
I know, because he's right.
You're the only one who's been in the gang here, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, we had a sign that we don't really throw up anymore, but fucking white supremacists out here.
I'm just thinking about me going out.
We got both of them.
That was one thing that I surprised people aren't talking about.
Sorry to bring this back, but Elon threw that up.
What?
During the weekend update?
What'd he say?
No, he threw this up.
Asshole Army.
Yeah, yeah.
Bring it back, baby.
Get us Elon.
Doug, take this podcast to the moon, bro.
Get us Elon.
Yeah, Elon, right?
We have a burger off, dude.
We need to have a whole barbecue on this fucking show.
Welcome to the cookout.
Met money.
Met money, we can make Elon funny.
We could do what SNL could not.
Let's do it.
Met money.
Can I have your phone a Tux Rogan?
Yeah.
100%.
I might need it.
I might need to shoot it.
Can't go through Chappelle.
What else we got going on, boys?
Slide your text.
What do you think?
What do you think about?
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Liquid IV Hangover Cure00:11:35
Now let's get back to the show.
What do you think about what happened with the Pauls and Floyd Mayweather?
Was it staged?
Of course, to a certain extent, but then there was some shit that was real.
Like Floyd was leaning into it when he was running around afterwards, like, I'm going to kill that motherfucker.
I'm going to kill him.
Floyd knows the cameras are on and he's going to charge us up because he's like, the more promo we do today, the less I have to do until the fight.
If this shit flopped, then he got to do another promo thing.
He's got to go and do some more stuff.
And they had an amazing promo for it.
I'll tell you this.
You can't say Jake Paul made his career off of Logan Paul.
If anybody ever said that before, that's done.
Yeah.
Because Logan is getting a lot of help from Jake right now.
I mean, Jake, Jake really, really stole the show, man.
He did.
He made it.
He stole the show.
He fucking stole the show.
And it's so funny, man, because like I really like Logan.
Yeah.
Like, because he's so fucking likable.
Like, even off air, just talking to Logan, he is a good guy and genuinely likable.
Like, nice, kind person.
I mean, I remember asking about fucking NFTs and shit like that.
He just immediately hooked me up with his NFT thing.
Randomly hooked me up with this kid in Tennessee.
He's like, yo, this is good for you guys to meet.
Just out of nowhere.
Yeah.
Genuinely good.
Right.
So I think it's hard for him to play heel.
Yep.
He had one time in his life where he did some fucked up shit and it was out of character.
Like out of character, meaning his character, I think, is more profitable when he's likable.
Okay.
Because that is closer to who he is.
Jake can play the fuck out of a heel and ain't nothing more interesting than a heel.
Yeah.
Floyd has been so interesting his whole life since he started becoming a heel.
Connor, incredibly interesting as a heel.
It is hard to be the face.
I mean, think about characters in wrestling or anything else that are a face and likable.
Even the great Tom Brady is best when he's poking fun, when he's being petty, when he's talking shit, when he's leaning into heel.
Nobody wants to care about that Tom Brady.
Oh, we work really hard.
We pass everybody.
We did all this shit.
Fuck that.
We care about him posting pictures of the team that got their ass bust saying talk shit again or whatever the fuck he was saying.
You know how I don't know if this applies, but in wrestling, when you want to make a guy popular, you'll make him a heel first.
And then everybody hate him and then you flip.
It's easier.
Yeah.
It's an easier road to popularity.
Yeah.
That I don't suggest that Logan plays, even though I've come on this podcast and I'm like, it's easier if he plays the heel, blah, blah, blah.
It will be easier if he wants to just make money and then this is a big fight.
If he just goes full fucking, if he goes full tiki torch alt-right, this fight would make $200 million.
Yeah.
But then what do you do the rest of your career?
The kid's still young.
Yeah.
I think you're going to make less because you're not the heel and it's harder to sell.
But I think it's a better long play for your career.
Yes.
If for whatever reason, and I do not see this happening at all, but if for whatever reason he ends up beating Floyd, the guy's fucking, the guy could be president.
Yeah.
The guy could be fucking president.
Imagine not retard Rocky.
That's Logan Paul.
He beats Floyd.
He beats Floyd.
Rocky got a statue he couldn't even read.
He's a full fucking retard, this guy.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine a well-spoken guy goes and fights against essentially the Apollo Creed of the real world, Floyd Mayweather.
Imagine he wins that fight and he's well-spoken and funny and charismatic.
What could that guy not do?
The retard got a statue, a real statue for a movie character.
That is kind of all right.
I see that.
The not tard?
Yep.
Also, aiding Asians is an all-time high.
Yeah.
That's the only bad thing that he's done in his career.
I think a lot of people forgive it right now.
There you go.
I think they might.
I really think they might.
Now is the fucking time.
Run.
Run for if he beats Floyd, he has to run for office.
He has to.
The Rock and Logan Paul.
And I'm sorry, Rocky, but you got to be VP.
You got to be VP.
VP slash security.
Debuggets.
VP slash security.
Let Logan do it.
Nah, Logan's the face.
Logan is going to be debugging.
Logan's the face.
I don't see what's so funny.
So Logan's president is just like the Bushes.
You know what I mean?
And then Jake can be like George Bush.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the C. Student Jr. smoking weed, doing Coke fucking bitches on the side.
And then he eventually runs.
We're like, hey, this ain't that bad.
Well, here's what's so genius about their strategy to let Jake be the heel.
Yeah.
Is now he's still doing promo for whatever his next fight is.
Yeah, that's great.
And Logan is letting him do promo for this fight.
So they're getting promo two fights out with this one thing.
Run with it, boys.
Yeah, it's brilliant.
Fuck him, run with it.
Brilliant.
I mean, and Logan be like, oh, God, check my brother.
That's such a Logan.
Are you interested in seeing Logan and Floyd, or do you rather want to see Jake and Floyd?
I think we always want to see the heel in anything.
Yeah.
Right?
But I am more interested in Logan Floyd now just because of that presence.
Yeah, I don't know.
And also the shit talk.
Like, the shit talk was kind of wild.
Remember when Floyd said something to him, like, you know, don't disrespect, you know, Japan or something like that.
Like, you disrespected Japan.
And Logan was like, you disrespected your wife or something like that.
Like, I don't know.
Like, they were deep cut going back and forth.
And it was enough to get me kind of into it.
I was like, okay.
I need to see that.
Yeah, yeah.
I only saw the fight, so I didn't.
Because, yeah, I only saw the fight.
And I'm not necessarily interested in Logan and Floyd, but I'm a little more interested for sure.
And I'm definitely more interested in Jake.
So you got two fights where you peaked interest.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you saw Jake's tattoo?
The gotcha hat thing.
Yeah.
I mean, I mean, this guy was selling hats that said gotcha hat within an hour.
Before he even took the hat.
The guy plans to take the hat.
Like, he understands the game.
This guy understands the game, and he doesn't care if you like him or not.
He gets to make the decision what will get the most clicks without considering how he will be viewed in that decision.
That is valuable.
That is liberating.
It's a superpower.
Exactly.
Because think about it.
We could all say the craziest shit.
Like, I know how to get the most fucking clicks on that Chappelle conversation.
Yeah.
Just go in, trash, make it look like Chappelle is just trying to undercut hate.
Like, we could clickbait the fuck out of that if we want, but it's not authentic.
It's not real.
Yeah.
Okay.
That guy knows how to get clicks and can lean into whatever direction.
And if you underestimate him, you think he's stupid, I'm telling you, you're the stupid one.
And he's going to take your ass to the fucking bank.
Yep.
The kid knows how to get it.
He's stupid like a fox.
What's that mean?
Like everybody.
Yeah, you think they're stupid, but they're actually.
They know exactly what the fuck they are.
That's a Texas kid right there.
He's got old yellow reference.
I like doing that sometimes.
Another fight this weekend that was amazing.
We watched in the green room was the Canelo fight against Danjo Saunders.
And Canelo, Canelo needs these fights, man, because he is the best right now.
He could go down as one of the best ever, but if he doesn't have strong opponents, there's no interest.
This was a strong opponent, so we watched, right?
Yeah.
These past people, he was fighting these bums.
We didn't give a fuck about.
This was a strong opponent.
We watched.
It isn't Canelo's promotional company's best interest to start building up the fighters he's about to fight.
Yeah.
Because if not, we're not going to watch him.
We're not going to witness the greatness.
We watch this time, and we witness fucking greatness.
I mean, that man is nice with it, bro.
And if I'm DeZone or whoever the fuck is promoting him officially, all I'm doing is dumping money into every other contender, making them look like beasts, making them look amazing, convincing the public that they're a worthy opponent.
The same way the UFC did that shit with Khabib.
Everybody Khabib fought.
The UFC convinced us this is going to be the one.
Justin Gaetchy, this is going to be the one.
Dustin Poirier, this is going to be the one.
Connor, this is going to be the one.
They knew damn well none of them was going to do shit.
Right.
So you need to do the same thing with Canelo so you can build up his legend.
That is the beauty of having one promotional company have all the fighters because you get to build up all these other motherfuckers so your star looks dominant.
Yeah.
Build it up, man.
Because that guy's special.
And unfortunately, if you're not Mexican, you don't give a fuck.
Yeah, I don't.
The Mexicans do.
70,000 of them inside Dallas Stadium.
I watched the Triple G fight, maybe the first or second one.
They had three, right?
Two.
Two.
Yeah.
The first one, a lot of people thought he lost.
Yeah.
And second one, I think more people thought Canelo won.
Okay.
And then I think the first one was even a draw.
It was a draw.
But a lot of people thought he lost.
A lot of people thought Triple G got hoes.
Second one, he won, correct?
Yeah.
So he's lost to Floyd only.
That's his only loss.
Yep.
And then he has two draws.
Okay.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's a fucking good record.
You could go down.
There's tons of fights.
The guy's been fighting since he's a fucking teenager.
Like, it's unbelievable.
But he just keeps getting better and better, man.
Like, if you really want to really want to see greatness, that guy is truly great at what he does.
He's fighting overweight.
Like, he shouldn't be this at 168.
The guy should be fighting at 154, 160, maybe.
He should not be fighting at 168 against these much bigger guys.
And he overpowers them.
He can't be hit.
It's truly impressive what he's doing.
Yeah, man.
Is he going to get any of those legacy fights, you think?
Like hackeyow or any of that shit?
Well, I don't think that that's interesting anymore because those guys are so old.
And unfortunately, the state of boxing is very hard to build up star power right now.
Nobody's really interested.
None of these boxers have engaging enough personalities via social media.
They might be engaging, but they don't know how to get that shit across social media.
So we can't create those big money fights.
It's a real fucking shame, man, because you won't notice how great he is unless he has great people to fight against.
You're only as good as your opponents.
Yeah.
You know, it's.
Let me ask you a question.
I remember when him and Floyd fought.
Sergei Jacohan said something to me like, Floyd is very smart, and that's why he's fighting Canelo now.
Because he knows Canelo is going to get better.
I hate this argument because it discredits Floyd.
It's like Floyd either fought them too early or fought them too late or fought.
It's like, nah.
So he's better.
So to that end, is Floyd then still better than Canelo now?
You think?
Is that something you can answer?
It's tricky because Canelo is fighting at 168 pounds and Floyd only fought the highest he ever fought was 154.
He should have never even fought it that weight.
Yeah.
So it's like, I don't think anybody could touch Floyd.
And I think Floyd would have solved whatever puzzle.
Yeah.
And maybe that's against Canelo, but yeah, I don't think he could.
Canelo believes that he would knock him out.
They've asked Canelo.
He's like, yeah, if I was in my prime, I fought Floyd, then I'm knocking him out.
You're not knocking him out.
Nobody could knock him out.
And the same thing is likely going to happen.
Maybe he lands a few less punches, but it's going to be hard to hit you, but it's going to be even harder to hit him.
Yeah.
I remember watching that fight and being like, this is fucking Floyd.
I was there live, bro.
That shit was crazy.
They put on a show.
It was incredible.
I mean, it was easy.
It was light work.
No, I mean, people were shocked how light work it was.
But I hate that argument to discredit Floyd.
They always say he fought people too late or too early.
And it's just like, no, bro.
He fights them when they're valuable enough.
You know, if the big money fight is there, that's when he fights them.
Yeah.
You know, it's but everybody wants to try to discredit the king, man.
Anyway, what else we got, boys?
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because living with chronic pain is the fucking worst, and you do not have to.
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Now, let's get back to it.
You saw Bill Gates getting in some more trouble.
Ooh.
Ooh.
This is so interesting, man.
Bill Gates and Melinda Gates have split up, right?
Now, Melinda comes out and says one of the reasons for the split was because of what?
Oh, God was rolling his eyes already.
Let me just get it out.
One of the reasons for the split was because of.
You're a hater, bro.
Hater, bro.
Haters, bro.
It'll be great, though.
She said, one of the reasons for the split was because of Bill's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
Okay.
And she just couldn't tolerate it anymore.
She found out about the meetings and then she started trying to file for divorce, I think, back in 2019.
And I guess when the official, you know, Wall Street Journal, New York Times article came out about their relationship.
And I mean, this just proves what a fucking just wretched whore Hillary Clinton is, dude, when you think about it, right?
Like Clinton, Hillary Clinton has no feeling in her heart or pussy.
The fact that she would still be married to Bill Clinton after he was besties with Jeffrey Epstein and Melinda Gates, who knows likely her husband's a scumbag, right?
Like on at bare minimum, just a business scumbag.
Not even like a human being scumbag, but like willing to rip you off and being like really tough in negotiations and willing to like crush companies that are going to try to get in his way.
Basically not the most.
She was also like a corporate exec to Microsoft.
Like she might be also a scumbag.
You know what I mean?
Like she might be a ruthless businesswoman.
Very true.
She married him when he was the richest man in the world.
That's her businesswoman.
But I feel like she's a corporate exec to Microsoft in the same way like Memphis Bleak is a corporate exec for a rocket.
Do you know what I mean?
It's just like, all right, well, I got to give him a job somewhere.
You know what I mean?
Like, come on, Memphis.
Yeah, this is Melinda Bleak.
So it's like, she wants to be on a foundation.
All right, be on the foundation, bitch.
Like, do whatever you got to do.
How do I get to go away once a year with my ex-girlfriend?
If you own a foundation, you want to give away all your money so I can't go away?
Did you guys hear about that part?
No.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
We're like, wait, wait, which part?
Bill Gates had an ex-girlfriend he got to take one vacation a year with.
Yeah.
Who's not a piece?
Decent feet.
I looked at the feet.
Decent feet, bro.
Decent feet.
Decent feet.
But how awful is Hillary Clinton, bro?
But that chick is ugly.
Yeah, but her feet were fine, bro.
Cute feet are decent.
Yeah.
You're Bill Gates.
You shouldn't be having to put up with decent anything.
Yeah, you're true.
But like, Bill Gates don't believe he deserves pussy, bro.
Bro, he's a romantic.
That's what it is.
He's romantic.
He loves this girl.
He wants to talk about, you know, hedge fund shit with her.
You know, I don't know.
Back to, I don't want to bring Hillary into it, but it is shocking that like this bitch does talk about believe all women.
This bitch don't believe no women, bro.
Is there one woman that Hillary Clinton believes, bro?
Is there the ones who voted for her?
Just the ones who voted for her.
I don't even know if she believes those bitches, to be honest with you.
Yo.
It's unbelievable, dude.
Even women don't like her.
Yo, your husband was best friends with a pedophile.
Yeah.
You're not going to question that a little bit.
You're not even going to come out and be like, yo, he should have used better judgment than to hang out on an island with the pedophile.
Yeah.
Even if he didn't fuck no girls, just to go to the island a lot or hang out with them.
Yeah.
There's no remorse whatsoever.
Like, even Trump came out and he was like, I don't want to make this a fucking Trump thing.
But wasn't, didn't he come out and be like, nah, they were weird and some weird shit's about to happen.
Something about he likes him young or something like that.
Didn't he say something weird is going to happen to them?
Yeah, he was like, yeah, Epstein and you know, likes him young and Prince Andrew's hanging out with him and all that shit.
Yeah.
So even he was like, yo, that's fat.
And then Trump is a wild ass boy.
He also wished Gillian Maxwell Wells.
Like, I don't know.
Sarcastic.
I don't know.
Yo, free her.
Free her.
Yo, Ghane.
We were talking about that on the train.
The train in the airport, whatever that shit is.
Skytrain.
Skytrain.
Are you really called a plane a train, bro?
Not a train anymore.
It's like calling a car a boat, bro.
That's like calling a G-Pack bitch.
But like, we were talking about that.
Like, yo, is this how Ghelane gets out?
Like, if she feeds the feds Bill, is that a big enough name?
Bill Gates.
Is that a big enough name where we go, okay, Ghana?
You can leave.
You can go scot-free.
Bill will have this bitch killed.
No problem.
You think, bro?
No problem.
Bill going to have this bitch killed and fucking Victoria's secret guy.
You can fear him.
Bill had that guy killed too.
Wexler, whatever his name is.
Wexner.
Wexner.
Bill have everybody killed.
You think, though?
If you're not Bezos, Bill Gates could get you.
You think?
Elon Musk, Bill Gates could get you.
You two out here.
You think Bill Gates could get him?
Yeah.
Nah, nah, Bill Gates might be able to get you, bro.
I'm not having some nerd kill me, bro.
He was casing you at the fucking wind.
He probably was, son.
He probably was, but I was casing him too.
I was casing him the whole time.
He got strike first.
Yeah, I knew it.
And I saw the way Melinda looked at me.
I was like, oh, this bitch out of here, bro.
She was throwing me some serious eye contact, bro.
Oh, yeah.
Melinda was looking over.
I'll check out Toast.
She was in some shitty ass little Tiva sandals.
Like, remember, I told y'all she was in Tiva sandals, right?
No.
I did.
I said she was in Tiva sand.
She was some khakis down to here.
She had the khakis down to here.
The way I wear my mustache.
Fuck, dude.
I got caught again.
Nah, I don't know, man.
This shit is wild.
What do y'all think about it?
I think she just trying to make a case to justify how much money she's going to ask for.
Because the bitch deserves nothing.
You deserve nothing.
You got the freest ride of free rides.
You married the richest man in the world for 27 years, and now he got to pay you, you bitch.
Yo, McKenzie was there from day one.
You hopped in, got the fucking, you lived in a mansion for 27 years.
Your wildest fantasy is fulfilled.
He fucks one ugly girl once a year.
That's all you get.
And you think you're going to come for some billions, bitch?
You greedy bitch?
How fucking dare you leave Disneyland and then want to take the rides with you?
How fucking dare you, you cunt.
I hate this bitch.
So now to justify her worth, she's got to be like, oh, he was a pedophile.
I had a problem with it.
No, you didn't, bitch.
That is true, Shaw.
No, you didn't.
She didn't bring it up before.
Yeah, now all of a sudden it's a problem.
You can't divorce a guy right away when you find out he's a pedophile.
But that's two years it's got to take.
But it's also like.
I hate this bitch, yo.
How do you feel, bro?
I violently hate this bitch so much.
Not to defend her, but like, don't wives always got a problem with like one of your friends.
You know what I mean?
Like, yes.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it is true.
Like, every wife got a problem with one of her husband's friends.
You have to.
So maybe she was just like, all right, that's the guy I don't like you hanging out with.
I just would prefer if you didn't hang out with him.
You always do wild shit when you're with him.
He brings out the worst in you.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Like being a pedophile.
Like being a pedophile.
Like, why are you staying so late?
It was past them girls' bedtimes, bro.
Like, you shouldn't.
Bitch just found out he's a pedophile.
You married 27 years.
This just came up.
Yeah, that's convenient to you.
You got to be a little embarrassed, bitch.
You can't bring Bill Gates to your island.
You know what I mean?
Like, because he's probably got multiple islands.
Like, I wouldn't have to go to the bottom.
Yeah, but he don't got them kids on his eye.
It's the attractions.
It's not the island.
Yeah, it's not the geography.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, but island's not impressing Bill Gates.
Like, why else would you go?
Did Bill Gates go to the islands?
No, I don't think so.
Nah, he ain't going to the island.
Fuck this bitch, yo.
Yeah.
I hate her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I fucking hate her.
You need to have that.
I hear what you're saying.
You wanted that same energy from her before.
Yo, yeah.
It's just, she's going to ask for a ridiculous amount of money.
Is she going to ask for more than McKenzie?
Bezos, I promise.
Percentage-wise?
I don't know about percentage-wise, but I think gross amount, yes.
That's what I think.
And she's got to justify it somehow.
So let me take the moral high ground of, oh, I didn't like him hanging out with Epstein, which is the easiest fucking moral high ground to talk about.
But wouldn't you say that?
Even though you said nothing for years.
Once you save that, he'd start in the PR machine now.
What'd she say?
If as soon as it came out, they're getting divorced.
Oh, here's why.
But what I'm trying to say is, like, wouldn't you hit him up, like, yo, I want this amount?
And he's like, you're wilding.
And then she's like, nah, you were wilding with Epstein, remember?
That?
Even then, 37 billion.
That is too much.
Yeah, the other reason why it seems convenient is that apparently she started filing for divorce in 2019 after all the Gates Epstein stuff came out.
So she knew about it.
But she knew, apparently, she met with him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?
This is from Axios.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
From Axios, apparently, the couple met Epstein in 2013 to discuss philanthropy.
So apparently, they both met with him in 2013, according to Axios.
Is philanthropy a black teenage girl?
They try to put her through school, bro.
That's foul, bro.
Why would they do that to philanthropy, bro?
And they met.
They were trying to help charity, too.
Huh?
They were trying to help charity also.
That's his sister?
Yeah.
Philanthropy and charity?
Oh, that's crazy, bro.
Exactly.
Yeah, the Gates' were wild.
Yeah.
These are some wild people, sons of bitches.
Both of them are sons of bitches.
Nah.
What do you call a girl?
Bitch.
Daughter.
There's no daughter of a bitch.
Nah, because that shit gets passed down.
Apple don't fall fall from the tree.
You know what I mean?
I think I fucked up the delivery, but you know what I'm trying to say, though?
This apple-ass bitch right next to that bitch-ass tree.
But you can't say daughter of a bitch.
Nah, daughter of a bitch.
It's too many syllables.
Daughter of a bitch.
You can, in Spanish, say ija de puta.
Ijo de puta?
Ija de puta.
Son of a bitch.
Sound of beautiful when you said it.
Daughter of a bitch in English?
Just a lot.
It's a mouthful.
What's another word for daughter?
Cunt.
We're talking about Melinda still.
I hate this bitch, yo.
I hate this bitch.
What about Bill?
Do you think that's a good thing?
I cannot wait.
I mean, I don't ever want you to get divorced, but if you do, that podcast going slap.
Son, if y'all get divorced on a Sunday, let me tell you, Tuesday is going to be wild.
For your reputation, that cannot happen.
I wish that never happened.
I don't bring it up.
For your reputation, it can't happen, bro.
Say what?
For his reputation, it can't happen because he's going to go wild.
Yo, he's going to go so fucking wild.
Listen, I didn't say nothing about McKenzie because McKenzie at least was there from jump.
This bitch married the richest man in the world and then she can act like she's entitled to something.
You did nothing.
This was a moving train.
You caught a free ride.
That's my issue.
And now you're going to ask for money and now take a moral hybrid.
They began dating in 1987.
Come on, son, 1988.
Fuck out of here.
Began dating in 1987.
They did.
You made up a year.
According to CNET.
How do we have an ex-girlfriend?
He started dating this bitch in 1987.
Because he was dating.
Anne dating an 80-year-old bitch taking her on an island or whatever.
She's 70.
She's lying.
You pull in a Melinda right now.
Is CNET lying?
Yes.
70, bro.
Can you just not believe that Bill Gates has two girlfriends?
That's what it is.
You're like, look, ready?
Or Bill Gates now?
Her name is this.
Ann Wimblad is the ex-girlfriend, 70 years old, 40 years of experience in the software industry.
Okay.
Yep.
She looks a little bit like, hey, you guys.
She got some hey, you guys in her, bro.
I'll be honest with you, dog.
She got some hey, you guys.
But burged out or no?
She, yeah, Johnson Johnson.
She definitely Johnson Johnson.
She iceberg.
All my heart.
So Ann and Bill began dating in 1984, meeting at computer conferences.
Okay.
They began going on virtual dates, calling each other on the phone, went to a number of trips together.
Brissives.
There's a couple of virgins.
Central Africa.
Dude, virtual dates in the 80s is lit.
Stayed close after 1987.
Split.
Gates had an arrangement with his wife that he and Winblad can keep one vacation tradition alive every spring.
Done for more than a decade.
They spent a long weekend with Winblad and her beach cottage in North Carolina.
Really?
That shit was a cottage.
Oh, shit.
Let's go spring breaking gates out here, dogs.
Okay.
Now, let me just ask you guys a question.
This motherfucker knew what he needed to be the ideal husband to Melinda.
He asked for it and he delivered.
Is that on Bill or is that on Melinda?
Everything is on Melinda, yo.
Everything's on Melinda.
Bill did nothing wrong.
Bill did nothing wrong except maybe the X-P and stuff.
I don't have evidence of that yet.
The jury is still out on that.
But that's it.
I think Melinda actually looks good in this.
That she was like.
That's because you're stupid, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Dumbass little boy.
Come down, little boy.
A little boy.
Let's go.
It calls him a little boy.
It's grown men talking over here.
Wow, bro.
That she was able to be like, yeah, like, go, having fun.
Like, you need this, but like, be honest with what you're doing.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was the least she could have done.
One weekend a year, greedy ass bitch.
You get 51 weekends of the richest man in the world?
Bitch, are you out of your mind?
You get 98% of his weekends, ho?
Come on, yo.
He gets one a month.
Yeah.
You get 75% of Bill.
But what if you don't want to hang out with Hey You Guys once a month?
Then he gets, he got other girls.
That's once a year.
That's not how Bill is, bro.
Bill would be into Hey You Guys.
He wants to hang out with all the goonies, probably.
I think she actually looks good.
I really do.
That's the only place where she looks good ever, including her face.
Nah, Melinda's all right.
I don't know what she looks like.
You are hating her right now, bro.
I have no idea what she looks like, quite frankly.
Never looked at a picture of her because why would I?
Here, Bill Gates.
The richest fucking man in the world's wife looks like hey, you guys.
What am I missing?
Wait, what?
Look at hey, you guys.
What am I missing?
That's his mistress.
My side piece should be hotter.
Well, he got to get an ugly enough side piece where his main piece could be like, all right, fuck that ugly bitch.
Yep.
Uh-huh.
You can't fuck a battery.
This guy knows how to run a monopoly, bro.
That's the whole thing with the monopolies.
You can't make it too monopolistic.
You got to have some little competition on the side so it doesn't look like a monopoly so you can keep running your shit.
That's what he's doing.
This guy understands antitrust, bro.
He broke the trust because it's antitrust.
He knows it.
He knows it, bro.
That was some wordplay right there.
Bill Gates Melinda Look00:12:57
That doesn't actually make sense if you think about it.
I'm with you, dog.
That bitch was somebody's anti-old ass bitch.
I'll tell you that much right now.
All right.
So, in conclusion, my conclusion has been reached.
We know how you feel about this.
Why do you feel different about McKenzie?
Mackenzie was there from the jump and she giving all her money away.
You don't know what Melinda's doing.
She has a foundation.
I didn't know she was charity.
Hold on.
She has a foundation.
Let me ask you this question.
Don't worry about foundation.
When did Microsoft start?
Let's find out.
Did that shit start in 1988?
He was the richest man in the world when they got married.
No, that's not true.
Yeah.
No, that's not true.
You don't know that.
Well, it's more fun if it's not true until we find out.
Okay.
All right.
I'm just trying to keep it.
I don't believe 1987.
I don't know what fucking 4chan website he's reading that off of.
1975.
1995.
They got married.
1975.
No, no, no.
1975, Microsoft was founded.
Oh, so this is 12 years later?
Yeah.
Yeah, bruh.
Oh, no, dude.
Come on.
Oh, no.
Get in there.
Get in there.
Let her rip Shuls.
Hold on, what's up?
Let her rip.
Hold on, because I'm about to.
Hold on.
So he became the richest man in 1995.
And when did they get married?
They started dating in 1986.
When did they get married?
They got married in 1994.
Oh, that's a lie.
Alex?
No, that's true.
See?
He was only the second richest man in the world when they got married.
Start moonwalking.
Well, I got a moonwalk too.
Second place?
Bitch man.
You married Elon Musk.
That's pretty fucking good.
Oh, he's number two.
They were dating in 1987.
That's a lie, dog.
That's some shit she said to make herself look good.
What woman you know date fucking 12 years before you get married?
This girl is confident.
She's out here.
She's like, yes.
He's been at Microsoft 1987.
Bro, in 1987, he was only worth $1.2 billion.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Fucking pockets, bro.
Pauper.
That's pockets, bro.
That's dust bunnies.
That's pockets.
This bitch married a billionaire.
Started dating a billionaire.
Got lucky enough to marry him and then going to act like she got some fucking moral high ground to get money.
You get $400,000.
I'm being generous.
God, that is interesting.
Like, what should a wife get?
Wait, do they have kids?
Yeah, they got four kids.
Actually, I don't know.
One of them, what?
I don't know how old they are.
Well, let's look at the ages.
Let's look at the ages because you know Mark be on the internet.
Here we go.
Get in a deep web, buddy.
Get on a deep web, buddy.
Hold on.
Let's get these little shouties up.
He got a female, female kid, bro.
Whoa, hold on.
Okay.
That's my boy.
He's hungry.
Yo, look at that little bow-legged red bone bitch right there.
Hold on.
How old is shit?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on, I'm not.
Hold on, son.
Chill out, chill out.
That was so nice.
Hey, come on, son.
Chill out, yo.
Okay, hold on.
Give me the ages out.
Bust down these ages, bro.
Mark, tell us the goddamn age.
Get off the table and tell her.
I'm trying to wait time, so maybe it'll go.
You know, hold on.
Hold on, hold on.
1821-25.
Let's fucking go.
Hold on.
Which one is which?
And bring them out again.
And I need to see Instagram accounts.
I need to see Instagram accounts because shorty with the red hair was looking kind of crazy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
I think we stumbled upon a gold mine.
That's what that is for all of us.
That's that bitch saying in 1987 when she met Bill.
But still, you're gonna fuck it up for all of us because you're hating on their mom so much.
Yeah, dude.
Come on, bro.
That could be an in-law of one of us.
Bill Gates produced some nice little pussy, bro.
When you think about it, I'm leaving.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
Come on, I'm wrong.
I'm wrong.
Bring it back up.
What's the only fans?
Yo, yo.
I need to know what Bill Gates's daughter's only fans are right now.
Yeah, she's 25.
Oh, she be riding horses.
Giddy up, get him up, Ginger.
Let's go.
Scroll it down.
Scroll it down.
Is that wait?
Is that her man's in the profile?
She's 25.
She's 25 years old.
Wait, but that, bad, bad, bad.
Hello.
How are you doing?
Hey, you got real dog.
Come on, now.
Come on, now.
Come on, come on, oh, my God.
You don't see?
Hold on, go back to that with that medium.
Heavy.
Come on.
Come on, Nat.
What's her name?
Jennifer?
Jennifer with that medium.
Herbie.
Come on, Al.
Al, you need a chill.
You need a chill, Al.
That's just Bill Gates' daughter.
Yo, look at her man.
Yo, your dad's a fucking creep.
Your dad's a creep.
Why your dad a creep?
Yo.
Yo, she ain't got an.
Oh!
It's told and still.
Come on, now.
Stop it.
Scroll through.
It's a carousel.
Chelsea's first time on Instagram.
Scroll through.
Not your first Instagram.
Come on, son.
Keep it going, Al.
Keep it going.
Scroll through.
Whatever the fuck that means.
Turns out slide shows are lit, bro.
This shit is awesome.
That's all them.
Come on, yo.
Yo, you're wild.
Al, look how young.
Al, chill, chill, Al, Al, chill.
You a wild girl, bro.
I figure I was going crazy.
Al's a wild girl.
It's a friend.
Yo, you're a wild girl.
Why did you assume it was the other one?
That's messed up with you.
Hey, hey, you're going too far down, bro.
He's bitched on himself.
He was like, yo.
She's too young now.
Al, look at the year of these picks, bro.
She's too young.
Come on, turn it off.
I'll be scrolling into Dater's territory.
Come on.
I only had to scroll back like three rows to under 18.
She doesn't post a lot, okay?
She posts a lot.
She's busy, bro.
That was the content.
You know, goddamn.
Come on, we all Randy over here.
You know what I'm saying?
Y'all knew that Bill Gates was packing?
Y'all knew that Bill Gates and Melinda Gates was packing some.
He's got the good seed, bro.
Real talk.
Real talk.
Come on, old nerd-ass Bill Gates.
Got some daughters.
You know what I mean?
Catching cacks.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I mean?
Oh, my God.
Come on, Bill.
Got the pleated pants, bro.
Keep all that dick in there.
Keep all of it.
Yeah.
All of it.
And we got to show some respect to Melinda, bro.
Yo, man.
You got to backtrack on what you said about my mother.
I ain't backtracking the middle.
I ain't backtracking.
Watch your mouth.
Watch your mouth.
I ain't backtracking nothing.
Yo, watch your mouth.
That's crazy.
Hey, we mark brought up a good point the other day.
Yes, I did.
We deserve an apology.
Yes.
From Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg, you little nerd.
Hey, listen up here, dork.
Your fucking suntan lotion all over your face.
You owe me, and you owe Mark, and you owe Alex Media, and you owe Dove, and you owe FA.
And the people of the world.
The people of the world.
The people of the world.
Akash probably also was helping us out on that.
You owe us an apology for taking down our video where we were critical of Bill Gates hanging out with egg dick pedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
We didn't even say anything crazy.
What did we say, Mark?
We said he hung out with egg dick pedophile.
And will you look at this?
I need you to take down Melinda Gates' Instagram account now.
Melinda was probably watching that episode being like, yes, facts.
Facts.
Yeah.
Yas.
She's probably supporting us.
Hell yeah.
Probably trying to slap cocks out of her daughter.
So smoking hot.
Bro, do you think?
What?
That's why?
What?
He was.
Oh, I see where Mark is going.
Wait, wait, now.
Hold on.
Hold on, now.
I don't want to say that.
We're about to get taken down again.
Say it.
We're about to get taken down.
Medical misinformation.
Take it.
Take it away, Mark.
Take it away.
Look at this one.
Yes.
I care about stopping trafficking around the world.
Jeffrey Epstein is a horrible man.
Yes, he is.
He's dead.
What is consent?
He's a horrible man.
He's a horrible person.
But and Bill Gates liked to spend time with Jeffrey Epstein.
Okay.
Bill Gates might be a bad person for that also.
I agree.
And he also has children.
So what you think Jeffrey Epstein was meeting with Bill Gates.
To try to get his kids in.
And maybe Bill Gates is trying to protect his kids.
So maybe we actually owe Bill an apology.
Oh, my God, Mark.
You done flipped it.
He stopped the floodgates.
Jeffrey Epstein was trying to get all up in there and he had to check him and go, yo.
I don't support this take at all, son.
Wait, why?
I don't support this take one single bit.
I thought that we were going all in.
You thought we were going to have fun.
I went just crazy right now.
Did you hear what I was saying?
The only way it's okay for me to say that if her father is a pedophile.
I blocked out.
If her father's the victim of a pedophile's, you know, crazy game to sexually imprison his daughters, all of a sudden, I'm one hell of an asshole, guys.
Nah, nah, probably not.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Well, shouts to the Gates, yo.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Each one of those kids getting 10 mil.
What do you mean?
Each one of those kids getting 10 million.
That's it.
I mean, son, them kids are worth billions, bruh.
They signed the giving pledge, giving that away.
Nah, but they're not really going to give it away.
They're going to give, like, they're going to keep all the stock and give that shit to the kids.
Them kids are billionaires for life, bro.
Yeah, I bet that shit isn't PR.
Yeah.
She's out here riding horses.
You don't do that shit with no measly 10 million.
Yeah, goofy ass want to be a doctor.
You got pockets?
Fucking 10 million pockets, bro.
Yeah.
Pocket chain.
That shit is pockets for them, bro.
That's Lint.
Yeah, that's just pocket.
That's our $4.
Just bunnies.
Guys, I think that's it.
Is there anything else we need to touch on before we're done?
I feel like we touched on a lot of things.
Not as many.
All right.
I was going to make another Bill Gates dig, but we don't know if he's actually touched on kids.
Yeah, probably hasn't.
He touched on a dude that touched on kids.
He definitely was friends with a dude that touched on kids.
But he also said that he doesn't have any relationship, professional or personal.
With whom?
With Jeffrey.
So why were you at his house so mad late in the night?
You know what I mean?
Was he?
Yeah.
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's weird.
Maybe Melinda was right this whole time, yo.
Bitch didn't say nothing.
Oh, you're right.
I'm back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bitch said nothing all of a sudden.
Now she got a problem with it, bitch.
Yeah.
I hate her, dog.
She did a little good in the world, she did.
Chill out.
What'd she do?
What did she do?
Yeah, you know what she did.
You know what she did.
She squeezed out some tings, man.
She squeezed out some fucking tings, bro.
Malisandra, one looking like Malisandra.
Do you remember that?
From Game of Thrones.
A little redhead freak unit, bro.
Melissandra, Malisandra.
Whatever that redhead little freak was talking about.
You know what I mean?
You're trying to be the fire guy.
Oh, shit.
You know she got some fire, dude.
She got some fire down there, dude.
Do you know what they call that shit?
That ginger box, bro?
What?
I think that.
I think they call it gingerbox, bro.
The gingerbox, man.
Ginger stuff.
The gingerbox, man.
She got that ginger stuff.
Fireplace, bro.
She real talk.
Reddit AMA Time Reminder00:01:35
Real talk.
Real talk, dude.
Just saying, just putting it out there.
Just put it out there.
You know what I mean?
You know?
Yo, just try to search that shit on Bing, bro.
See what Bing, yo, search your daughters on Bing.
You Google Bill Gates' fame on Bing.
It says, no kids.
No kids whatsoever, bro.
Haters.
Haters.
All right, we're done with this episode.
We love you.
We appreciate you.
Patreon.com slash flagrant too.
You know, we got it every single week.
We've been doing this cool thing over on Patreon where we got the captain sending in videos for their questions.
And that shit has been mad funny because some of y'all are wild ass boys, which is not surprising given the podcast you listen to.
So we will see you there.
Patreon.com slash flagrant2.
We love y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
Oh, yes.
And Reddit AMA.
Oh, yeah.
And we got a Reddit AMA.
Today.
Today, matter of fact, and I've already said this earlier in the podcast because we probably should.
But I'm reminding you once again, we got a Reddit AMA today, 12 till 2, right?
On Reddit.
Shouts to Reddit.
Eastern Time.
Eastern Time.
Okay.
So listen up, fucking Reddit nerds.
Come holler at us.
Ask some questions.
We'll talk to y'all.
This is going to be fun, man.
We're very appreciative of y'all because as much as y'all hate, you also share our shit around the world.
And it really gets a conversation going.
So without you, we wouldn't be what we are.
So we might have a contentious relationship at times, but there's a lot of gratitude there.