Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect 2020's most flagrant moments, debating Cobra Kai's Robbie Buchanan against Mark, J.K. Rowling's trans comments, and a match shop eye-roll as a potential hate crime. They analyze Lizzo's beauty standards, Delia's age-gap controversies, and Minneapolis looting as a gentrification trap or agent provocateur scheme. Ultimately, the hosts roast childhood photos and Timberland shoes before celebrating Flagrant 2's Patreon success, blending comedy with sharp social commentary on gender, race, and accountability. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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2020 Flagrant Highlights00:09:55
What's up, everybody, and welcome to one of our favorite times of the year, a time of reflection, a time to look back at all the great, crazy, wild, flagrant work that we've done in 2020.
And that's right.
We have taken all of our favorite clips throughout the year and we have consolidated them into one highlight reel that is more flagrant than your something, something, something.
Man, I was on a roll in the beginning.
I'm not even going to stop it.
I'm going to keep going.
I was going to stop, but nah, the rhythm is there.
The rhyme take you over.
The rhythm is going to take me over.
The rhythm is going to take me over.
The rhythm is a dancer.
Is that a song?
That's it.
Anyway, point is, we are here for the 2020 most flagrant moments of the year, and I cannot wait to start it.
And I think, Al, it's only right that we start it with this next one, right?
I'm watching Cobra Kai, and there's this fine-ass little boy in that fucking show.
Wait, son, son.
What's up, son, son?
Keep talking.
Keep talking.
Nah, nah, nah.
Okay.
There is that.
You said little boy A.O. That's crazy.
You just said little boy.
I don't even know what the A-O is for that.
This baby a yo.
There is, there is in the fucking show.
No, no, no, no.
We're leaving this all in.
He veiled it.
He does so check it out.
Oh, his joke.
Don't cut that out.
Leave that shit in.
You need to feel that.
Feel that.
Let him feel it.
Okay?
Ready?
Should we rewind right now?
Put it back in the edit.
No, no, no, I'm saying in the edit, I want you to repeat the joke again for everybody.
Listen, that's messed up.
So, I'm watching Cobra Kai.
Okay.
We already talked about this.
Okay.
There's this actor.
People recognize it.
Don't leave me now.
Don't leave me now.
I know why you're taking me in there.
Don't leave me now.
Okay.
Yo, listen.
This planter won right now.
Please look at how old this fine ass human being is.
Hey, hey, just go to the IMDV page and see if you could guess who we're talking about.
No, no, no, no.
Look how old he is.
Not Miguel.
That little white boy.
How old that little white boy, Robbie?
How old is he?
Just make sure he's over 18.
Wait, his name's Robbie?
No, his character's name is Robbie in the show.
Cobra Kai is the name of the show.
Tanner Buchanan.
Look how old he is.
Okay.
I need to know this before I continue this.
How old?
21.
Knew that motherfucker was legal.
I knew he was legal.
Now come get this sexual harassment.
All right.
Let me tell you, this little Topanga looking motherfucker out here.
All right.
This dude made me feel weird, bro.
The first scene, he got this little bob haircut.
Yeah.
Okay.
Perfect, straight, thick, luscious hair.
Thick that dude right there.
Mark, just set your ass up.
He just turned 18.
No.
No, he's 21.
Bro, I just looked this shit up right here.
Mark just set you up.
It's barely legal, son.
What is he?
How old is he?
It says 21 on Wikipedia.
21, Wikipedia.
That's what we're going with.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Stop looking up barelylegal.com for fucking information, bro.
You just want that shit to be terminated.
You showed up this dude.
He said, yeah.
That's the character, motherfucker.
That's character, you idiot.
You fucking retard.
Hold on.
Yo, hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
This motherfucker.
He's the character of the show.
Yo, this guy just looks.
Yo, how old is Wolverine?
Yo, Wolverine's technically 233 because you age faster when you recover.
I'll tell you.
Hey, I'm switching cameras.
I'm like, hey, I'm monitoring ordering that audio.
Nobody asked you to ask.
I'm looking quick.
I'm Google it quick, guys.
This guy right here, son.
Yo, it's hilarious.
It got his whole family in the biome.
Don't take it away.
It's got his whole family in his biome.
His teacher is Danny LaRusso.
You don't recognize those names.
Come on, bro.
I don't know, man.
Love interest, Samantha LaRusso.
Anyway, back to what I'm saying, okay?
This kid shows up first scene.
Yeah.
Got this little bob haircut.
Mad feminine, mad Topanga.
Yeah, looking like a prettier Mark.
Looking like a pretty nah, you don't look like Mark, bro.
When you said that, that shit made me feel uncomfortable.
Come on.
Because I was bringing to the table how cute that motherfucker was.
So this is what happened.
The other day we're at the table just discussing the show.
Shit felt mad weird.
So we're at the table discussing the show, right?
I'm like, yo, I'm watching this Cobra Kai.
I was like, let me tell you, there's this one character on that show.
And then out of nowhere, Arkash goes, yeah, the cute one.
And I'm about to be like, yeah, that motherfucker.
And then Arkash goes, motherfucker look just like Mark.
And I was like, Mark, bro.
Mark ain't nothing.
No fucking collarbones like that.
Look at that kid's collarbones, bro.
That's Mark.
Look at that kid.
That's a female, bro.
That's Mark.
That is me.
That's me.
Son, where's JK Rowling?
We gotta crush our marks.
Where's J.K. Rowling, son?
Nah, you ain't got like that.
You ain't got like that.
First of all, first of all, you know what, though?
Look at that brow.
Look at that brow.
He got a normal ass brow.
You know what I mean?
He's not normal.
If that was Mark, there'd be a shadow on his shoulder blades right now.
You know, damn, bro, that's not fucking Mark.
Okay?
Look at me looking up in the air.
So look smoldering right now because this whole motherfucker be looking smoldering.
I'm not feeling comfortable with this, bro.
I'm not feeling comfortable.
Serve him.
Oh, that's Mark, son.
That's wild, right?
Cross your arms a little bit.
Hold on now.
Maybe it is.
Cross your arms a little bit.
Oh, shit, bro.
Oh, shit.
What you little cute ass.
What y'all doing all these late nights, man?
Mark, bro.
You just got to raise.
I don't want pants.
Wait, is that harassment?
Anyway.
Oh, my God.
Point is, this motherfucker right here looks feminine.
Does he not?
Look at the haircut.
He's 21.
Look at the haircut.
I think you just want to fuck him, so you try to make him look feminine.
All I know is the first scene that I saw, this is what happens.
I'm watching with my girl, and we're watching the show, and he pops up, and I literally go like this.
I go, I go, son.
Hold on.
Sorry about the way this is going to be.
The first scene I saw, the first time he pops up on the screen, right?
He's all like a little confused, like little deer in the headlights, a little look.
And I just go, I just go, man, come on.
Hey, yo.
My body didn't know what to do.
So my body didn't know what to do.
Because I was like, what?
I couldn't explain it, bro.
I felt like J.K. Rowland.
That's why she's writing all those books.
Wait, why?
Little training kid right here making you feel weird.
That's the Harry Potter book.
Why?
What?
What?
Vita Kadabra, bro.
Get the fuck out of here.
I had enough of this kid.
Oh, my God.
You can't deny he's objectively cute for a boy.
He is trying to get you in now.
Have you seen Cobra Kai?
No, I haven't watched it.
Andrew want to fuck the little boy.
I don't want to fuck him.
But the motherfucker looked like a girl that's cute.
A little boy on there look hella like Mark and Andrew want to fuck up.
You don't look like Mark now.
That's kind of weird, bro.
He actually kind of does look like Mark.
I'm seeing it, bro.
I'm seeing it.
Stop doing that karate, Mark.
Mark was trying to take kickboxing classes.
I cut that shit out real quick.
I did.
I told your boy, what's his name?
The Spanish kid.
What?
Chang?
Chino, whatever.
What it?
Chang.
Chang.
That's close, bro.
What the fuck you want me to do?
Chino and Chang.
That's almost it.
You telling me that don't look like a girl, bro.
But yo, there's a girl.
Show people, Al.
There's girls.
You don't have to fuck guys that look like girls.
Yeah, but the girls are under.
Wait for it.
I've already thought it through.
I've already thought it through, Mark.
Okay.
The girls in that show are under 18.
Karee, hey, cute on it.
Look at this.
Hey, cute on Q, Sanans, do your research.
It's up to you.
They're under 18.
They're under 18.
There's some young ass girls.
The mom in that show, fine as fuck, though.
The mom gorgeous.
That little white mom right there, bro.
Be honest.
She's gorgeous.
She's a piece.
My girl was getting jealous when I was talking about that mom.
I was like, how old do you think she is?
She was like, 40.
I was like, mm-hmm.
I was like, mm-hmm.
She got the meats.
You know what I'm saying?
Taylor?
She got the meats.
Them shit slapping together in them fucking dungarees she's wearing.
Let's be serious, pushing out that little fat ass kid in that show.
You know that little fat ass kid?
That little fat ass kid didn't come out early.
You know that meat is slapping.
She out there with a cat's deli sandwich.
Okay, and i'm all for it.
Give me some rye bread and some mustard because your boy is hungry.
Okay, I had enough.
I had enough of all of you judging me and this fine ass little boy out here perking up his titties shirt off.
Yo, look at man smoldering.
Look at smoldering with the tapanga.
Tell me that's not tapanga.
It looked like Mark.
Smoldering Tapanga Shirt00:09:49
It really let's go.
Y'all are really ruining for me.
That dude was a cute ass girl until you said, look like Mark.
Now i'm repulsed to Pagnon.
Obviously quite flagrant.
But I think we can turn it up a notch.
I think we can turn the flagrancy.
I think I don't know if we're gonna get to peak just yet.
We gotta save that a little bit later.
But I think we can turn the flagrancy up just a little bit.
Al, can you roll something for us?
Is that how you pronounce?
It is the Tim.
I think the river Tims River the River Tims yeah Tims, I think son, I like Damage the Tims size, size 13.
Yo, suck that mixing of size 13, break down the river.
Bro Radcliffe came out.
He said, what'd he say?
Who gives a?
Nah, he actually was like I don't want to speak ill of her.
I of course not best rate you a millionaire.
That's what i'm saying.
Yo she he no, she changed his life.
Let me tell you, if you're Daniel Radcliffe, whatever Jk Rowling says about trannies.
Hey, I ain't got nothing.
That's what you believe about trannies.
The second you start speaking, stupefy.
You know that.
Curse, how many?
Yo y'all want to go curse for curse.
Okay, let's see what we got.
Hey, you read a book on this.
Hey, y'all want to go curse for.
Is it called the curse?
What is it called spell?
You don't want to go spell for spell.
Have you read the books?
Are you gay by birth?
No hey hey bruh, y'all want to go curse for curse.
Hey let's, let's go.
Okay ready, this is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna go around.
Okay, all right, and you keep on going until you don't have a curse.
If you are googling them curses right now, Both of y'all googling curses, yo.
Y'all out!
Nah, Alex and Mark both ferruously googling on their fucking computer.
Ridiculous!
All right, now y'all the judges now.
All the judges now.
Y'all out of the fucking game.
No.
Okay, you ready?
Let's go.
I did mine.
Super fine.
Go.
Expelliarmas.
Get the fuck out of here, yo.
You ready?
You ready?
You ready for me to body?
You ready for me to body Akash?
Let's go.
Are you ready for me to literally kill Akash?
Vida Cadabra.
Get the fuck out of here, boy.
That's the death spell.
I know that.
What you know about Expecto Patronum out there?
No!
Shit!
No!
It's over!
Yo!
No!
Why'd you have to do that, bro?
Shit, let me keep stalling.
No!
No!
Why'd you have to do that to me?
Fuck!
All right, hold up.
Hold up now.
Hold up.
All right.
Oh.
You hit me with a Patrona spell.
That's a tough one right there, Don.
I'm out, to be honest.
Oh, Don.
I just need one more to get you out of the fucking paint.
You're right.
You right.
Hold on.
I got this.
Hold on.
I got this.
No, Let me think back to all the things that they did.
You don't want to hint?
Yeah.
Nah, no, no.
I don't get no fucking hints, yo.
Fucking stay this in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, ready?
He goes, yeah.
Yeah, that would be nice.
I do want to hit.
Nah, I do want to hit.
All right, give me a hint.
No, I don't give a fucking hint.
Come on, how would you make an item fly?
Oh.
Fly arms.
I need a hair like that.
No, I got one.
Ready?
I got one.
Ready?
You ready, bitch?
Ready?
Bitch?
Let's go.
Lumos.
Oh, like this bitch off.
Like this bitch off.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
I'll just hit you with that.
Oh, my God.
Hold on, hold on.
Oh, shit.
I don't even know.
Yo.
Oh, fuck.
Go.
Oh, shit.
The same hint still goes.
How do you make some shit go float in the air?
See, I don't give a fuck.
I don't know.
That shit didn't help nobody.
Oh, fuck.
Go.
Ah, fuck.
How do you pronounce it?
Yeah, you don't know how.
Wingard and Leviosa or something like that.
That's it.
This motherfucker pulled that out of his shit.
It's a wrist, son.
You hit the fucking wrist.
Damn, bro.
Son.
I hit that shit, yo.
Hey, it actually helped.
That's literally it.
That's a great hit, yo.
That's a great hit.
That's a hit.
Hey, hold up now.
Hold up now.
Your boy still got it.
Your boy still got it, though.
Oh, shit.
Are you playing the music?
Oh, shit.
You get nostalgic.
Oh, shit.
I'm ready to.
Yo.
All right, ready?
We got it.
Okay.
I got it.
I got it.
I got you.
Y'all ready?
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Are you ready?
Because this is it.
Right here.
This is a game changer right here.
If you get one, it's over.
No, no, it's over.
I already know it's over.
Ready?
Fucking JK.
Let's go.
I don't know this bitch spells.
Ready?
All right, ready?
You ready for it or no?
You ready?
Okay, ready?
Yeah.
Dick off a body cuz.
Now I'm out, bro.
But that means we're even.
Did any of us hit?
He already did it.
He said that one?
Yeah.
I missed that one.
Where you been?
I'm out of that.
Bro, you forgot this one, bro.
I was in a moment.
Hold on.
I was going to say, Abeas Corpus.
I'll give you my next one.
Oh, fuck, dude.
That was good.
Oh, that was really good.
But we're even, though.
Whatever, dog.
I won.
No, you did it.
We said the same amount.
I ended it.
No, you didn't.
We ended it, yo.
No, we ended it even at the same level.
We both got to the same floor.
I won.
We both got to the same floor.
Nah, I got to go.
No, we both got to the same floor.
It's a stalemate.
So I could give you spells, and you have to say what the spell is.
Yo, we're done with this game, bro.
Well, we have to have a winner, though.
All right, all right, boom.
Ready?
Go.
How do you disarm your opponent?
Expel the armist.
I already said that.
Fuck out of here.
Pay attention, Barbara.
Yo, real talk.
I was searching for the Expel Yarmouth.
That's the one they say the most.
Expel the Armist, bro.
That's how motherfucking he got the Elder Monde.
You fucking losers.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you think we were done with just a couple of flagrant moments?
No, we're not.
We're not.
We got one more.
And this shit, just like everything else you've seen, fire flagrancy.
Not just one.
More than one.
Oh, you right.
You showed me some video or you retweeted some video of Matthew Stafford doing math.
He's incredible.
Come on, bro.
I don't think they're ever going to get it.
They're still making money.
You're never going to have the need to be.
Why is that not impressive?
What?
Why is that not impressive?
He guessed.
So guess.
Have you seen the video I retweeted to Matthew Stafford?
Oh, when he did the guy gives you two big-ass numbers, like 6,525 by 4,100, whatever.
I think that's what I'm saying.
And he just doesn't.
It is.
He just figured it out.
It's called multiplication.
No, no, no.
But I mean, like, how do you know people didn't?
I don't think he's just multiplying in the set.
I'm pretty sure.
Well, there's a trick.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
There's a shortcut.
Yeah.
Still impressive.
Nah, not really.
Still impressive.
You know a shortcut is not that impressive.
Son, it's impressive.
Whatever.
I'm tired of these motherfuckers, bro.
The duck.
No, because there is some important shit.
Now he's impressed the fucking football player does have to do math better than him.
That's what I'm saying.
Y'all think they should.
That's why he's.
They should impress me.
You can't do math.
Not like that.
25 times three.
God, you got that shit quick.
This motherfucker is age on, bro.
You are fucking Ajong.
All right, let me do some more Matthew, right?
Yeah.
All right, ready?
76 divided by four.
19.
I'm still figuring it out.
No, that's it.
That's it.
Yeah.
There was 80 divided by four would be 20.
Take away four more.
That's what I did.
That was fucking good.
All right, last one.
Mad pressure right now.
You ready?
Man pressure.
It's going down.
This one's going down, right?
This is for your Indianness.
Okay, man.
You're not Indian.
If you get this wrong, you're Bangladesh.
All right, for real.
You're Bangladesh if you get this wrong.
Bangladesh.
You're Bangladesh.
Let's go.
Okay, ready?
All right.
224.
No, sorry.
244 squared.
Ooh, fuck, yo.
Stupid fucking idiot.
Fucking retard.
Dude, you don't know this already?
I know this shit.
This is mad easy.
Dumb fuck.
12.
Damn, son.
Come on, bro.
244.
That's the square root, yo.
And it's the square root of 144.
I know what you would think.
Damn it, I knew what he was doing.
I was like, please, he got taken down.
Please, he's not taking it.
I should have corrected you because he's not.
You got him wrong twice.
I knew he was taking 144.
I knew it.
You meant square root and he met 144.
You Bangladeshi.
I call him retarded match.
I knew.
Oh, is that your kidney?
This ain't easy, yo.
Hey, yo, this is how stupid I am.
I went 224.
Square Root Math Fail00:11:53
No, no, no.
244.
I was like, oh, I got him.
Oh, I got him.
I got this thumb motherfucker.
No way he could come for me on 244.
Bro.
Bro.
And then I started thinking in my head.
I was like, wait, sometimes 12.
I started doing the short math of it.
I was like, I don't know if it got that.
I don't know if it gets that far.
What's 244?
What is that one?
How the fuck were you going to calculate that one?
Dude, he was going.
This hell working.
That shit was like, dude, bro.
Square, though.
Yeah.
That's 244 times 244.
Oh, that's easy.
863, 0.29.
What's that?
Let's go.
Next segment.
Come on, Jay Cutler.
Psoriasis.
Psoriasis.
P.
Okay.
You thought you were going to get me out of here?
No, that shit's like pterodactyl.
How you spell pterodactyl?
What?
Pterodactyl, bro.
All right, fair enough.
Pneumonia.
Pneumonia as well.
P.E.F. I got this.
You can't.
You'll never sign a letter to me.
That's facts.
You'll never sign a letter to me.
Give me any word.
Go.
Definitely.
Give him homonyms.
A man can't do a homonym.
Say what?
Hominym.
Bro, because he's homophobic?
Homonym?
Yeah.
You want me to spell that?
No, just if you give him like the same, like there and there, he's always going to miss you.
I can do that.
I can spell all the there's.
Well, how do you use them?
Does that far smell or not?
I put some stank on it.
It spelled definitely, bro.
Definitely.
D-E-F.
I-N.
I-T-E-L-Y.
Whoa, that's it.
I'm one of the best spellers that's ever existed.
And as an Indian, you should take that as an insult.
I do.
So let's go.
Battle.
Spell off.
Go.
Let's go.
Give us a word.
All right.
I just spelled definitely.
Akash goes next.
Go.
Okay.
Akash, ready?
Yeah.
Your word is handkerchief.
H-A-N-D-K-E-R-C-H-I-E-F.
That's correct.
Oh.
Suck my fucking dick, bro.
I miss no beat.
All right.
Andrew.
Andrew.
All right, go.
Your word is ingenious.
Ingenious.
I-N.
Genius.
G-E-N-I-O-U-S.
Ingenius.
Oh, there's no O?
There's no O.
Yes.
I wouldn't have got that right either.
Thank God, yo.
Yay, shit, man.
Akash got to get one, go.
Akash.
Yeah.
Your word to spell is diarrhea.
Ah, fuck.
You're done.
You're done.
D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A.
Suck my fucking dick.
That's correct.
Yo, suck my fucking dick.
We out of here, dog.
Get the star in this dick.
Stop.
Good thing, good thing, good thing, get her.
Jai ho.
Hey, bro.
Give me another word, bro.
You can't be afraid.
It's a rap, yo.
No, I can't go.
I can't even spell the fucking words from my language.
Go.
You wouldn't have got diarrhea either.
Nah, I would have got that one.
I was here, yo.
That was a good one.
That was easy, though.
Everybody can do diarrhea, go.
Meniscus.
Language of origin?
Ask for language of origin, bro.
I'm telling you.
God, the language of orange pieces of shit.
Oh, this might be like Latin or some shit like that, probably.
I don't know.
I'm looking to the fucking smart guy.
Say it again.
Meniscus.
Say it in a sentence.
I tore my meniscus.
Say it again.
Your word is meniscus.
That's a sentence.
P?
M?
M-I.
We're all.
Is it M-E?
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Akash with the steel?
Okay.
Language of Oregon, Origin?
French.
Okay.
Well, you already got it because I said it.
M-E-N-I-S-C-U-S.
That's right.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
All right, go.
As soon as you said I, though, I said he was wrong.
Go.
All right.
Wait, whose word is this?
Is this Akash?
No, Akash has got me.
So is this yours?
Yeah.
All right.
Pharaoh.
Put your phone down, son.
Pharaoh.
That's a tough one.
P-H-A-R.
A-O-H.
That's correct.
Wow.
That was impressive.
I'd have fucked that up.
Back like he never left.
I'd have fucked that up, yo.
I think we're tired right now.
Tired?
Fuck out.
No, we are tired.
Get out of here.
Let's go.
Hey, my son.
Okay, can you see?
Let's go.
Stars and bars, bitch.
All right.
Akash.
Yo, I don't like this.
I'm winning.
Fuck out of here.
Spell dilate.
Ooh.
Dilate.
D-I-L-A-T-E.
Ding, ding, ding.
My everyone.
They got natural talent at this shit, bro.
I know.
I'm just thinking of all the words I spell wrong.
Hey.
Hey, out here.
Yo, do y'all write the answers on your hands?
That's why you dance like this?
Both sides, though.
Both sides.
That's why we twist.
That's why we gotta twist.
They be cheating, bro.
All right, all right, go.
Give me a word.
Bro, you just don't want it?
Son, give me the word, bro.
I got this shit.
All right.
Go.
Intelligence.
Ah, fuck out of here, yo.
I. N-T-E-L-L-I-G-E-N-C-E.
Intelligence.
That's correct.
Got him!
Gotten!
Yeah, just like the retard.
That's how you spell it.
Go, go, go.
Go, Al.
Come on, Pharaoh.
You'd have fucked up Pharaoh real talk.
Go, Al.
Don't be soft on him, bro.
Dilate wasn't easy.
You fucked up Dili.
I honestly dilate was very impressive.
You fucked up Doc.
I spelled that shit two words.
What did I?
This word.
Gobbledy Gook.
Gobbledy Gook.
That's a real word.
That's a real word.
That's a white people word.
Say it.
Spell it again.
Say it again.
Gobbledy gook.
Gobbledegook.
First of all, there's a racial slur in the back half of that.
I don't even want to say it.
That's why Al had to go to the fucking computer.
All right.
Say gobbledy transly Korean.
Spell gobbledy Korean then.
All right, go.
All right.
G-O-B-B-E.
G-O-B-B.
Uh-huh.
Gobbledy.
L-E.
D-Y.
D-I?
D-E-O.
You know which letter you fucked up?
What?
The B.
No, no, no, no.
I'll win.
I'm winning.
Another bullshit ass word.
Give me one more word for me to win.
I got to steal.
I got to steal.
Son, fuck out of here.
Go, go.
Word?
No, no, I just spelled it with the B. Go.
It won't work.
It doesn't work.
Go, go.
I'll try to body Akasha dispelling.
Give me one more word.
God damn.
If you really want to make this infuriating for me, give him aunt or some shit like that.
Give him a good.
Give me a word.
Nausea.
Nausea.
It's only six letters.
What the fuck you doing, yo?
I was trying to taunt him.
Stupid.
Actually, that's helpful.
That's incredibly helpful, yo.
Fuck.
Unless I was, that was uh, unless I was trying to, unless maybe I was trying to trick you.
Have you considered that so mad?
Right now, I think possibly i'm trying n a u s s oh, wait a minute.
N?
A u s 1s e a.
God damn it.
That's correct.
Now it's really tied.
Yo, I was really.
If he didn't give him six letters, he'd have that up.
That's a good ass point, bro.
That's how he did.
I'll let him give you one more.
So you now it's fully tied.
I was really fully tied.
You got one chance.
Yeah okay, all right Al, you got one.
Nah, you get something.
Water man nervous right now okay um okay, I mean, if we really want to go for it I mean there's, there's hard ones go for it with drew.
If you go for it with me, all right, I think this one will be as difficult as the other one.
So that way we'll keep it even.
Okay, the word is Nigger.
For the record, how many letters I didn't know.
Okay, I did not say that word, even though Al tried to match my voice.
Ruin my whole career before I even started.
Geez, Patreon bruh, you already gave me a racist term, al.
Okay, i'm trying to find like a like some of this a little wild.
I'm upset about that.
Six letters oh, here we go, infuriating daiquiri.
I don't even drink.
Come on, d-a.
You got daiquiri d-a-i-q-u-i-r-i.
I'm serious.
Y'all wow, all y'all, need to suck my dick, all of y'all.
I think it's like in the blood.
Real hate on my jeans, son.
It's really aggressive like.
It's like watching a black guy run fast and i'm like yeah, obviously he runs fast.
Yes, they're jumping holy, but when you see him do it, you go.
Oh, my god, you knew there was an eye in the first part of daiquiri.
I don't even drink bro, but you've ordered a lot of virgin daiquiris, though, be honest, never off a menu.
I'll be going off menu for that because it's.
So gay.
It's not even on there.
Facts, they trying to get me a margarita, like I don't know.
Last one, go give me one.
If I get this, I win.
All right, then we gotta really get a.
We gotta get like a good one.
Al, look with me.
Are you going through something?
Yeah, i'm looking for them.
All right, hit me go go, son go okay go, come on yo, let's go.
Son nah spell the words all right, sacrilegious sacrilegious sac, religious s-a-c-r-i, r-e-l.
So I got y'all.
You know what the status.
He was so disgusted by how bad your spelling was, he couldn't even trick.
The word was sacrificed.
The word was sacrificed religious.
Spelling Sacrifice Rage00:06:44
Come on.
Come on, say C-R-E-E-R.
That's second off.
You put Riri in the words.
You Chinese-sounding motherfucker.
You're placing L's with R's.
What did I do?
I assassinated all.
Oh, it's only one.
I did Sacrament.
So, yo, you have to steal for the winner.
All right, let me see if I can get this.
Holy fuck.
Fucking happy.
That's hilarious.
S-A-C-R-I-L-I-G-O-U-S.
Fuck!
Stupid.
Wow, son.
I guess Saturday just wins by default.
What is it?
Just give it to me.
That's it.
All right, let's wrap it up.
It was S-A-C-R-I-L-E-G-I-O.
I would have known that.
I almost had to blow up this fucking matcha store.
Did I tell you guys about it?
Yeah, what ended up happening with that?
Because the guy was rude to my girl.
Rude to my girl.
She was waiting outside for social distancing when two other bitches was getting their matcha.
And then the guy tried to close the fucking place.
And he's like, she's like, I've been waiting outside from before four.
So the guy was like, fine, come in.
Rolled his eyes.
Came in, made the matcha.
She said, made it hella shitty.
So I had to go the next day.
Can I be honest?
This is the whitest story I've ever heard on every level.
Oh my matcha.
The guy rolled his eyes at the girl.
Yeah.
And then she was respecting social distancing in every way.
This is the whitest story I've ever heard.
I went the next day and I had a fucking conversation with that guy.
Rolling eyes is a white hate crime.
That is.
Real talk.
Don't roll your eyes.
The dude rolling his eyes at a girl that he just met is like, come on, bro.
And then he goes to the place the next day.
I want to speak to your manager.
Nah, I spoke to him.
So what you said?
This is the whitest story.
I went with ever.
I went with her.
I said, wait outside.
I'm going to go talk to this motherfucker.
I went and I spoke to him.
I said, yo, yo, it's my girl's birthday.
Just go out there and just wave, right?
Just wave like that.
Like that.
So he waves at my girl.
I go, yo, thank you.
I appreciate it.
I buy the matcha and I was like, yup.
Did he learn a lesson?
She goes, she goes, I mean, he waved at me.
I was like, yeah, I told him to apologize.
And I was like, you got to look at that girl and be nice no matter what.
So that's what happened.
Sometimes you got to teach a lesson.
She got to know who the fucking, you know, the king of the kingdom is.
Yo, you let him know.
Son, I'm out here.
What really happened?
Nothing.
We went back.
I was a bitch.
We went back.
We got there.
I was like, I'll wait outside with the electric bike, man.
I can't let this electric bike down.
Wow, son.
You didn't even call it a motorcycle?
When you don't beat up the matcha, dude, it's a bike, bro.
It's an electric bike, bro.
Come on, Drew.
What's happening?
I've literally thought about it.
I'm like, what am I supposed to do?
I'm supposed to knock this guy out for being completely reasonable.
My girl showed up at four.
But I can't tell my girl she's wrong.
It's quarantine.
You know what I mean?
So I'm in this fucking conflict.
I'm biking hella slow trying to put all pieces together.
We get to the goddamn spot.
I would not tip him, but then I got to make fun of me for trying to punish motherfuckers doing the shit I shouldn't do already.
Yo, tipping a fucking barista infuriates me.
I gotta tip you before you do your job.
Huh?
What kind of shit is that?
The whole tip system is you do your job and then I like the service, so I tip you.
Oh, you gotta have started on tips, son.
I know.
It's about to be 10 minutes.
I'm about to go to that matcha dude and fight him for you.
This motherfucker, yo, don't roll your eyes, yo.
Hey, hey, let's you and me go talk to this guy.
Who are you rolling your eyes at, yo?
Son, usually.
That's the unnecessary part.
Can I be honest with you, though?
That's what you got to find when you're going to be.
Let me be honest with you, bro.
In that situation, you got to find anything.
Be like, hey, man, I get it.
But, like, you don't have to roll your eyes like that.
I don't know that.
I don't know how to do that.
Oh, because if someone's rude to your girl at a certain point, you can be like, I kind of get it.
You know, like, oh, there's never a point where I don't get it.
There's never a point.
I don't rudeness.
I completely understand.
Oh, man.
Physical shit, that's different.
Yeah.
But the guy is at work getting Corona every day.
He's about to close up the shop and then he sees another person outside.
That's worth the eye roll.
Nah, but that's not worth the eye roll in your girl defense.
I'm bugging.
You're bugging.
Son, you just gotta like a macho for your shorties.
Ow.
Let me tell you something.
Oh, let me tell you something.
For those listeners, Andrew just broke the mic.
I lost sleep over this, bro.
You trying to prove how tough you are nowadays?
This is what I almost did to the macho man.
Yeah, macho man.
Macha man, Randy Savage.
Much fucking rude.
I literally walked in there like, whoa!
It's the diamond wing rare.
Champagne drinking.
Social distancing.
Social distancing.
Fuck.
Son.
Hold up.
What was his line?
Oh, yeah.
What is the shit he used to say all the time?
Cream of the crop.
Oh, shit.
Hold up, son.
Yeah, let that be a warning.
He told us he was going to have his confrontation last week.
Were you here?
Yes.
He was like, I'm about to go out to beat up the matcha man.
I just rude my girl.
Can I tell you what really happened, son?
I'm winning it.
I'm going to tell you what really happened.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
Do it like Johnna.
Do you want to tell you what really happened?
I don't care if y'all judge me.
This will happen.
Do it like matcha man.
All right, let's go.
You want to know?
This is what happened.
I said, babe, hold the bike outside.
She rolls the bike outside.
I go in there, right?
I go, yo, let me get two.
And I forgot what my fucking girl wanted.
So I had to come back.
I go, babe, what you want?
And then she goes, I would like a fucking macadamia nut, a matcha, whatever.
I'm already deflated to saying macadamia and nut milk, right?
I'm already deflated to saying that.
Let me get a macadamia nut, a matcha latte.
Let me get two of them shits, right?
He goes to do it, and I'm waiting to have the confrontation when he comes back.
Right?
And no bullshit, they just started selling these like Thai vanilla peanut butter cups.
Bike Outside Incident00:03:33
So, so here's the thing.
Yo, yo, yo.
So these shits look so delicious, right?
But they're behind the counter.
Okay.
Oh, you got to ask him for one.
So I can't curse the motherfucker out and then get my Thai vanilla peanut butter cups, right?
So you just selfish ass motherfuckers.
You don't defend your girl's honor for some fucking peanut butter.
I said this.
I said it.
My girl can't hear nothing.
She's outside.
So I go like this.
So I go like this.
I go, I give her the nod, like it's about to go down.
I'm like, yo, I got to talk to you.
Them time, you're going to pity the mother cups.
It's going to be fun.
So I'm trying to like position myself.
So my girl can't see.
They move their heads alive.
I'm like, I'm going to need two of them tops.
You don't see the buttercups.
And then, you know, you go outside.
He felt bad.
He threw in some Thai vanilla peanut butter cups back for me.
Did you shake his hand at the end and make it look like you really had to.
I mean, you really patched things up.
I go out there like, babe, you can go anytime you want now.
It's not going there 401.
What if she rude to him?
What is he rude to her again?
No, no, no.
There we go.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break from this best of episodes so I can tell you about keeps from the hyenas den.
You'll see why in a few days.
But if you guys are starting to lose your hair, you don't need to.
Let me tell you something.
I'm actually a little bit upset about keeps because God really only gave me two genetic gifts.
I'm 5'7.
I'm built mad, sloppy.
I'm slow, unathletic.
But he gave me green eyes and hair, a full head of beautiful hair that I wasn't losing.
And that was going to be the only solace that I had with my low testosterone levels while all my friends with muscles were going bald.
Unfortunately, Keeps has made it preventable.
You don't need to go bald.
If you are starting to lose your hair, you just go to keeps.com.
They offer generic versions of the only two FDA-approved medications to prevent hair loss.
So if you're starting to lose your hair, know that that is a choice you are making.
You don't have to.
All you got to do is go to keeps.com slash flagrant, and you get your first month's treatment for free.
So they're making it even easier for you to not lose your hair.
I do not like the fact that they are doing this, but I'm going to help you guys out because I care about you, the fans.
Go to KEEPS.com slash flagrant and you will get one month free.
Guys, this is really simple.
If you are going bald, if you're starting to lose your hair at all and you don't do this, you're an idiot.
Andrew Schultz, co-host of mine, started to lose his hair about 10 years ago, just a little bit even.
Got on these medications and now he's good.
Full head of beautiful hair.
So guys, KEEPS.com slash flagrant.
Let's get back to the show.
It's not a problem if we do white face, though.
I love being black for that.
Taylor, look how happy the eyes are.
That's Chris Rock, though.
Taylor, you don't see the hypocrisy, Taylor.
So you can do white face.
This man can't dress up as Mr. T.
He can't be in the 18, Taylor.
His name is already Andrew.
Oh, God.
Andrew.
I like that.
Hey, hey, what you talking about, Taylor?
Oh, shit, that's Garrett Coleman.
I didn't got my black people from food.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You really sound like a black dude because I can't understand you.
Taylor Hypocrisy Talk00:11:11
Yo, when people go to the cemetery and they leave their little flowers and shit, it's touching the sea.
But like, if you're in heaven, right?
Yeah.
And you're looking down, do you think you feel different when they go to the cemetery and they go to your stone?
Or if they're in the living room, like right before they watch the game, they're like, yo, I miss you.
No, I think you feel different.
Because they're going out their way to do it.
Y'all some ladies with this effort shit.
What's everything about effort?
Like, why is the effort doesn't matter when I go to work?
Why is that not effort?
Women are always right.
What is this?
I want you to write a card.
What are you talking about?
Write a card.
But there's effort.
Yo, why?
Why?
Why women can't?
Why is it?
Somebody's fighting.
I think you're talking about.
I didn't talk about this.
I didn't talk about this.
Hey, ladies.
Hey, ladies, everybody is appreciated if you went through the effort of dreaming of me cheating on you.
Ladies, I just want to make sure when I'm talking about ladies, I'm not talking about white women.
Y'all never wrong.
But everybody else.
Everybody else, we believe you white women.
Don't worry about it.
But everybody else, ladies, listen.
So explain to me the effort shit, right?
Because like for some reason, effort, like going to work is not effort.
But like when you write a card, they're like, I just like the effort.
Or, like, oh, you went and got this specific thing, or you made me a collage, or like, you went and found like my favorite Pop-Tart.
Like, there's all these things, right?
And I'm starting to believe it's not effort, it's just inconvenience.
It's like, that's what you equate love.
It's like, is it bothersome?
Yeah, is that love being bothersome?
Can I play devil's advocate?
And I mean, devils.
If your girl orders food for you or cooks food for you, which one means more?
The exact same.
Real talk?
Whichever one tastes better.
The exact same.
Wow.
The exact same.
Matter of fact, I'm going to get fucked up for even saying it.
You want me to say it?
No, no, no.
Let me not say this the exact same dog.
If I'm being completely honest, I really love the fact that she cooks because my girl cooks all the time.
Yeah.
I love the fact that she cooks.
It's great.
The food is there, etc.
It's amazing.
Sometimes she orders in and she'll order in and she'll take it off the plate or take it out of the box and put it on the plate, Miss Doubtfire style.
Yep.
That shit is lit.
What if you eat out the box?
Do you care?
Honestly, I'm okay.
You know what it is?
It's like a struggle in America.
It's that same 100-meter dash.
If she cooks at home, Usain Bolt.
You know, if she orders in, Tim Montgomery is close.
I don't know who Tim Montgomery is.
Just another red.
It's just another thing.
No.
I like it when she cooks, but if she was like, I'd rather just order in, I'm totally cool with that.
I just like the fact that she put she like the fact that she puts what son the devil ain't always wrong.
You know what I mean?
And what do we say?
Believe all women.
Damn right.
Oh, shit.
Fuck, dude.
Gotta believe him, bro.
When they say it's the effort.
Nah, it's not the effort.
I like that.
I already believe him, bro.
Oh, God.
I almost said the thought.
Oh, wow.
That's even more gay.
Shit.
What the county?
I think I get it now, yo.
Because if my girl made the dinner or she bought a super expensive dinner, it's really the fact that there was dinner there when I got home.
Yeah.
It's not that she paid for it.
Right?
Right.
That makes sense.
Right.
And they would love a really nice card or like a thoughtful date where like you paid attention to a story she told you one time.
And then like there was that there.
You know.
And then so I see.
Okay.
I'm starting to understand a little bit now.
I'm 36.
I know.
I know.
I ain't going to do it.
You're a real nigga.
That's why.
No, I ain't going to do it.
I ain't going to do it.
My dad didn't do it.
There you go.
Put in effort.
My dad would, he was so thorough in his convictions, bro.
I don't think he got my mom flowers on Mother's Day one time.
Wow.
Wow.
No, really.
That just wasn't his thing.
Like, I think that just wasn't his thing.
Yeah.
But not that he didn't care, but he was just like, what's that about?
Like, I love you every single day.
Like, what's the feeling?
Whatever.
You talk about your mom.
She also seems very practical as well.
So she doesn't care.
You're shorty on the hand.
Yeah.
I think you gotta get some flowers on Mother's Day, B, even if she's not a mother.
Yeah.
Nah, nah, Now I'm fucking thinking about it.
Now I kind of understand it a little bit, huh?
Do you care about that shit?
I really think about it with just food.
With food, that shit makes sense, bro.
Yeah.
Like, if you cook for me, as opposed to getting me McDonald's.
Yo, so Mark told us the most fascinating thing before we started recording.
It's incredible.
He's a girl throughout the entire year.
That's incredible.
Takes notes on people when they're just talking about shit.
And like, if they mention something that they want.
So then anytime their birthday or holiday comes around, she can go to her notes and get all the thoughtful things that that person actually wanted.
And she has notes about his family members.
So Mark didn't even know what to get his own family.
She goes to her notes and her phone.
So Mark looks like the thoughtful guy.
That's fucking incredible.
That's incredible, son.
That's effort.
I mean, that's, yeah, that's going to make for some great presents that he gets credit for.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I think effort at work should also be calculated into the equation.
I do like the way I see you trying to fight being a better boyfriend.
I appreciate that.
But do you understand what I'm saying?
Like, effort is effort.
100%, yo.
Women have a lot more effort to give because they're not working as much.
Yeah.
And I've been thinking that all the time.
Like, you want gifts.
How about I work and you buy your own shit?
How about that?
That's not a gift?
How we just let that slide?
What'd he say?
What'd he say?
I kind of heard that.
He made a lot of sense.
No, I made actually, he said, if we're going off Andrew's point where there's like a two-year-old.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
You said fucking do that.
You said it out.
If there's a total amount of effort, shut up, say it exactly how you said it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Say it exactly how it's going to be.
I'm trying to math this shit.
Bro, I feel uncomfortable on the inside, bro.
I think I just like, I don't feel right, bro.
I feel like I just found out I'm a tranny or some shit.
God damn, that shit feels real weird inside, man.
Bro, I literally said, I literally had to stop myself before I said effort and then tried to correct it and then stop myself before I said put some thought.
Dude, this is harsh, man.
Son, if I get, I'm so gay.
If I get gifts, I literally tell her it's a thought that counts.
Dog, y'all seen the sixth sense?
Yeah.
This shit, this is what it feels like, bro.
I see women.
You know what I mean?
Like, when you feel, fuck, dog, I see him.
Dog, I really see them.
I see him, dog.
I get it.
I know.
It's horrifying, right?
It's horrifying, bro.
Also, you know, a problem with our career is that we have too much fun for it to be work.
They don't think it's working.
You got to train them to know it's work.
Wait, what?
Do, man.
You got to do it.
You got to really make them understand.
And my homie said this.
Shout out to Oni Perez with his girl.
They broke up, so maybe it was a bad idea.
But literally, every time she'd be like, oh, are you going to go out for shows?
He'd be like, no, I'm going to go out for work.
And every time it became, oh, okay, he's going out for work.
You got to understand, just as we enjoy our job, doesn't mean we don't work hard at it.
Doesn't mean it's not hard.
Doesn't mean we don't put everything into it.
Nah, this shit made easy, bro.
Your job sucks.
And all y'all stupid.
We can have fun and dance all day if we want.
Yes, it's why that's not YSM.
Cut that shit.
Cut that whole shit.
Hey, don't cut that shit.
It's going to be mad as it's.
It's going to be another designer bag sitting on this side of the room.
Couple weeks.
Oh, shit.
Nah, bro.
We had a great fucking system where we just buy the shit and that was worth it.
Yep.
Because the effort we put in, but I think back in the day, our jobs used to suck.
Yeah.
Working in factories.
Work in a factory, go to war.
You know what I'm saying?
That was effort.
Not sit in a fucking lounge chair and talk about white bitches complaining.
What'd you do at work today, man?
What was your top?
How much?
Are you crazier?
What do you do at work?
So much of my job is just complaining about her.
What'd you do at work today?
Hey, we smoked some maybe weed.
We might have soaked.
Maybe it was weed.
Maybe it wasn't.
That's what we did at work today.
Oh, man.
Jealous.
You fucking jealous.
No, but that shit is work.
That's why we can't be as good of boyfriends.
Is that it?
How my.
You're busy, yo.
What?
Busy.
You traveled before.
Oh, my God.
You travel before Corona every weekend.
Every weekend.
Every weekend I was on the road, bro.
I had to go to fucking Hawaii, hang out on the beach.
You know what I'm saying?
That was crazy out there, bro.
You should bring her back a souvenir.
Dog, I even had to go on stage for a whole hour and be showered with love, dog.
How the fuck I do that?
Hey, it's hard to be a good boyfriend when you get showered with love everywhere else.
Yo, facts.
I mean, like, I'm full.
Yo, we be lying to our girls about the effort, man.
And the work.
I really do say that shit to my girl that I'm working 60 hours a week.
I'm mostly eating granola bars.
I'm mostly eating granola bars in that room, right?
Like, that's more.
The majority of those 60 hours is granola bars, bro.
Nah, man.
Do you ever pretend that?
Nah, we're anesthesiologists out here.
Granola Bar Anesthesiologists00:15:23
Say, what?
We like anesthesiologists.
What does that mean?
Somebody said back when I was going to pretend I was going to be a doctor.
You're talking about my anesthesia.
It's five minutes of sheer.
Everybody said it's the easiest job.
He's like, it's five minutes of extreme pressure and care, and the rest of the time you're chilling.
Every surgery, though, those five minutes, you could kill somebody.
Right.
It's mad high stakes.
Our job is we are yours.
Yeah, we're like that, but clowns.
You add high stakes, short periods of time.
A lot of pressure.
Right.
But also, we're like that with no stakes.
Yeah, like we're just pressured.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're just not like, we're like toll booth operators, son.
That's really what we are.
We just sitting here all day.
Nah, bro.
Honestly, no, we're nothing like that.
We got better hours.
We're getting hot.
We're percolating.
You could feel it, right?
You could feel where we're going.
You could feel the weight.
You feel it in your blood, exactly.
But I'm not going to waste too much time with you right now.
Let's get to that next clip.
You guys remember this one.
And if you don't, oh, well, you're welcome.
Yeah, but Lizzo, right?
Don't do that.
Lizzo is beautiful.
Don't do that.
Don't do that, Force.
Don't do that.
No, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Beyonce's beautiful.
You mean like on the inside?
She's beautiful.
Lizzo is.
You mean like on the side?
Don't do that.
She's not ugly, but not objectively beautiful.
Like if we're going to say objectively beautiful.
I'm not talking about personality.
I'm literally talking about like, what is it the word I'm looking for?
When you can divide something evenly?
Attractive.
Symmetry.
Yeah, symmetry.
Attractive.
In terms of symmetry of face.
Like they say, for example, Denzel Washington, the reason why he was looked at is so beautiful is because he has perfect symmetry in his face.
You can cut his face in half and both are exactly.
I believe it.
Okay.
I believe that.
You cut Lizzo's face in half.
There's going to be an apple split as well.
No, I'm not doing this.
Nope.
I love Lizzo.
That shit going to look like a luau.
No.
There's going to be some hungry, hungry Hawaiians around that shit.
No, we're not doing that.
We're not.
Okay.
It just took me a second to get it.
I'd be slow on the jokes and shot it.
That was good.
I want to know every time we got here.
No, but there's people that out here that die to speak making anybody.
Yes, yes.
Obviously, that does happen, but I do think it's unfair that we have to only judge Lizzo based on her beauty.
Like, why can't we judge her based on her talent?
Why can't we judge her based on her personality?
She has amazing talent, too.
Honestly, she's like the Beyoncé of Big Girls.
Performance-wise.
Yeah.
Yo.
No, and again, I'm not questioning that.
I'm not questioning it, but what I'm saying is she doesn't also have to be beautiful.
We do this weird thing.
Nah, I believe that.
But we do this weird thing with women, right?
Where we go, like, when they're good at anything.
When they're good at anything, we go, and they're also beautiful because women aren't allowed to just be good at shit.
Why can't women just be good at shit?
Put on those glasses, got mad, woke.
Oh, shit.
You're looking like a king, King.
Oh, shit.
Thanks, King.
I appreciate you, King.
I appreciate you.
You know what I mean?
Y'all ain't there yet.
So do you think Lizzo sells less?
All right, Taylor.
So do you think Lizzo sells less tickets at her concert?
Because total size?
Well, they just got to buy multiple tickets.
Like, you're talking about they like take up the business.
They got to buy more.
They got to buy two seats like on an airplane.
Yeah, how does that work?
Wait, what?
Her fans?
Yeah.
Why do you think her fans are big?
You just said.
Women, are you talking about the things that cool her down or the people that are the people that are in the stadium?
They're not.
Why do you think they have to be big too?
I don't know anything about it, though.
They're not big.
I don't know.
Jeremy Lynn was killing it with the Knicks.
There was a lot of Asians in the crowd.
That's all I got to say.
I don't know anything about Lizzo's fans, but you just said she was the Beyonce of Lego.
Because Lizzo fans are a little bit more...
Oh, yeah, he's going to have what you said.
Lizzo fans have a lot of LGBTQ.
And so does Beyonce.
Okay.
And they have a lot of people.
Is that a sandwich that she likes to order LGBTQ?
I hate y'all.
Oh, my God.
Yo.
She be in the delivery like, can I get an LGBT LGBT, please?
Not laughing at this.
I'll just.
I just took a DNA to it.
Turns out, I need to lower my cholesterol.
Not laughing at this at all.
Oh, my God.
Come on, Taylor.
Because Lizzo, my girl.
Like, I love Shona.
Her music does make you feel like a bad bitch, though.
It's not.
I love Lizzo.
I love Lizzo, too.
You can love people that aren't all right looking.
Yeah.
There's more than that.
So why do you call her, why do you not think she's beautiful?
I think she's all right.
Why can't I be objectively?
What I like, though, about her because of her size or like, that's it.
Her face is all right.
Butt is all right.
Actually, no, I'm not even into the butt.
She don't got much, but it's unfortunate that women can't just be talented.
That's what I feel.
The feminist that is me, that women can't just be, yo, why can't Taylor, why can't you just be great at your job?
Why you got to be beautiful and great at your job?
Nobody goes to me, yo, Andrew, you're beautiful and you're great at your job.
I just happen to be that.
First of all, Andrew, people be calling you sexy and everything else like that.
Keep going, bro.
Keep going, girl.
You don't need these bifocals to know that.
Let's go.
Lizzo.
You think that she was trying to say, let's go, but then ate the TV guy.
We're not talking about Lizzo.
Come on, Al.
Are we off, Al?
Or what?
Nah, we good.
We ride off point.
That's it.
We're good.
Yo, I literally don't think there's anything wrong with Lizzo.
I just hate her.
Fantastic.
I hate this position.
Like, if everyone was fat in the world, would y'all still be saying something about her?
Yo, here's a good, here's a good example.
Go.
Make some sense of it.
I don't understand.
Del is an attractive fat.
Okay.
Lizzo's not.
Like, she's not super ugly, but she's just not in the insection.
Go wild.
Oh, Al Wood.
I love the fat white girl.
Okay, no, I'll give you another one.
Jill Scott is an attractive fat.
Now we're talking, bro.
Lizzo is not.
That's why.
Why are you saying that she's not attractive?
Hold on, hold on.
You're saying Lizzo is as attractive as Jill Scott?
Yes.
Jill, you're lying.
Yeah, you're lying.
But you're only saying that because she shakes your ass and everything else, and y'all don't want to say that.
I don't think Ruben Stuttered is sexy.
You know what I mean?
So who's a sexy fat guy?
I don't know.
Patrice wasn't sexy to me.
Yeah, but there's probably a fat guy.
The guy from day 26, he was mad fine.
Y'all not going to know.
Yeah, we're not going to know that.
Point is, point is, you can be beautiful and fat.
We're just saying, objectively speaking, Lizzo is not that beautiful.
That doesn't take away from how talented she is.
Yeah, but I think also African is a person that's judging him, too.
Like, fat isn't your type.
It could be type for someone else.
I think it's type two.
I think that's what type is.
I think that's what we need to be concerned about.
This is a health issue.
Okay.
Let's be honest.
What's more swollen?
Lizzo or Alex's foot?
I'm picking.
Well, wait, swollen?
I'm picking Alex's foot.
Wow.
You guys.
Again, and I hate that fact.
Like, I hate that these conversations come to this shit because it's like, don't you, as a woman, want to be able to just be talented and that's enough?
No.
Like, I hate it.
You want to be beautiful and talented.
I know, but it sucks that y'all want to be that.
Like, guys, we don't feel that pressure.
Like, if a guy is just talented, we're like, that's lit.
That's enough.
That's great.
But if a girl is talented and ugly, she's still tight.
She's still putting on tons of makeup, doing all this other shit.
While dudes aren't doing nothing because they're like, oh, you respect me for what I do?
Great.
Society, I don't know what that is.
Fuck that part of society.
Let these ugly bitches be talented.
That's all we're saying.
Lizo's not ugly.
Say what?
She's not ugly.
She's not saying she's ugly.
She's all right.
She's fine.
All right.
What do you give her?
On an earthquake scale.
It's on fire.
This is about as flagrant as it's going to get.
Is it?
I don't know.
Let's watch the next clip.
Out here defending pedophiles and shit.
Not pedophiles.
Not pedophiles.
That's a crazy word to put on anybody.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a crazy word.
Not pedophiles.
My motherfucker.
Motherfucker cutting it close.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, you know them races where like that, the 100-meter death or some shit where the guy leans, like he leans his chest forward so he can cross the finish line first.
That's a photo spin.
Delia at your 18th birthday.
That's what he has girls doing pictures so they can pretend they got titties.
Lean your chest forward.
Make it look like you're two years older than you are.
Brilliant.
The second a bitch takes a breath for her 18th birthday candles, the second he hears it, just go, he's right in there.
Like, hey, literally.
Make a wish.
No, no, no, I'm right here.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Y'all know he got a joke.
He comes in like Kramer on their 18th birthday.
He comes in like Kramer on their 18th birthday.
Yo, so it's like so.
So I'm going to make that edit.
Delia coming into a girl's 18th birthday like Kramer or something.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Your birthday's making me thirsty.
Oh, my God.
No, but in all seriousness, like, obviously, more information came out.
Like we were saying on the last podcast, Delia came out with some receipts.
Yep.
Came out with them receipts.
Yep.
And, you know, called out a bunch of the people that were accusing him.
And look, as far as I can tell from it, maybe there's more information that comes out.
This is what I would say.
I say we probably, not probably.
He likes banging younger chicks that are legal, barely legal.
What did we say it again?
What did Robbie say, Mark?
Yo, shout out to Robbie, man.
Robbie works on Robbie Slovak, so funny.
We're going to have him on the show, but he works on the rants with me and Mark.
And so he said this.
He goes, if 18 is barely legal, then 17 is just barely illegal.
That's so good.
So TikTok.
So, yeah, so it looks like he likes younger girls, but legally, younger girls.
You think that's why he got on Vine?
Because he got big on Vine 10 years ago.
You think he was just like, yo, where the young bitches at?
Yo, that's wild.
I hope not.
I hope not.
I really hope what, Mark.
So, but look, yeah.
And then it seemed that through all the text message correspondence, like he kind of like showed some screenshots of shorties, right?
And the girls that were accusing him and showed things that they left out of the conversation.
You know, like that one girl who started the whole thing, apparently, like, he deaded the conversation when he found out how old she was.
And then she hit him back a few years later and was like, yo, I'm 21.
Now I'm down to fuck.
Yeah.
He still didn't respond, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Still didn't respond.
And then, um, and then has a kid actually like a month later.
And then shorty goes crazy.
Yeah.
So whatever.
There's a few different ones.
That being said, there's still a couple ones that are like a little iffy.
It's a lot of smoke.
It's a lot of smoke.
And it's real close to 18.
Yeah.
So we're not going, he's a great guy.
It's weird to like wait on birthdays, but I don't like putting the pedophile word on people unless it's 100% pedophile.
You know what I mean?
If he is a pedophile, he's disciplined.
Do you know what I'm saying?
It's like diabetics.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I can't have sugar.
You know what I mean?
So, so it's like, where's the stevia?
What's the closest thing?
You know, he's just intermittent fasting.
You know what I mean?
18-year intermittent.
Give me a baby carrot.
Real talk.
So, but it's that's an important distinction.
It's not illegal.
And so far, from what we've seen.
So far.
Yeah.
It does appear he likes it right when it's ready.
He just wants it to be legal, but he don't want it to be.
You know what I mean?
Ideally, it's not.
He's the type of person, like, if the food's a little cold, they're like, yo, can you heat this up?
But it is, I don't know.
It is, it is interesting, though.
You know what I mean?
What are you thinking?
What are you thinking?
I'm wondering what else he said to you.
Did he acknowledge like he didn't really say much to me besides just me?
Because I said this.
I was like, yo, I just need to know.
I need clarity on these things right here.
Cause these are the things that look fucked up.
Yeah.
Like, the word I don't care isn't right, but like, I'm not as concerned if like you had sex with a 20-year-old and then ghosted her.
Yeah.
Like, you're an adult, grow up.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
As long as everything was consensual.
Yeah.
That's between you guys.
You figure it out.
If you think he's a douche, then you don't like him anymore.
That's fine.
Yeah.
The younger underage shit is a little bit foul.
Yeah.
But it looked like every time it was said that that person was underage so far, he deaded it.
So yeah, if you're underage and you legit got a case, you got to come forward now because if you don't, he's going to slide.
Yeah.
And also, I don't think there's any allegations that he actually had sex with anyone underage.
That's another thing.
So there's no not that I've seen.
Maybe there are.
I haven't seen them.
Yeah.
Was one thing that we were looking at today, which was tricky about the girl who was 17.
Yeah.
Right.
And like, whatever.
He says, oh, whatever.
He says, what?
That's too young or some shit.
He says, I thought you were 18, my bad.
And then you don't know when that message was sent.
But then there's another message sent, like, presumably not that long later, where he just hits her up again, which is hi.
And then ask him for her later.
Like, give me your number.
I lost your number.
Right.
I saw that one.
I don't know.
Look, the good thing is, like, he's the type of guy not going to forget your birthday.
So if there's one good quality, you got it.
You only remember two birthdays.
Your 18th, he's going to be very happy about it.
And your 19th, he's done.
You done aged out the system, bitch.
That shit is a funeral.
You try to make out with him on the 19th birthday.
He's like, oops.
She's like, I'm 19.
That eyebrow comes up.
He's on gym this time.
After you're 20, you're like, sorry, you can't compete.
Out to the pasture.
Talk.
He's giving you birthday condolences.
Sorry about that.
Eighteen Birthday Funeral00:04:20
No, but in all seriousness, it looks though he is strict about it.
Yeah.
And that is important to say.
Because if we're going to get motherfuckers out of here for being a pedophile, they got to be a pedophile.
And as far as I'm concerned, pedophiles, when you tell them you're underage, don't drop the combo.
That's when the combo begins.
And they said that he was grooming.
But how you groom someone.
If the second you know the age, you stop talking and then, when they are legal you could, and they hit you up.
You don't get them back.
He seems like he seems like this is the thing he's approached with the most intelligence, you know.
I mean like, like his jokes are never from the highest intelligence and I think he's funny yeah, and talented, but this is like it seems like he knows he's talking to them and then the second they say their age, like he doesn't ask, how old are you, does he?
Yeah, I think sometimes yeah, there's times where he asked them.
When the girl said it, he was out, because it seems like I can see how you're like, all right, if I start talking to her at 16, she's gonna be into it and then when she's 18, I can fuck legally, but she's.
I've done all the work and like it's easier to get her into it because she's 16.
Like I said, you really got talking to a 16 year old girl for two years, bro.
But that's the craziest shit to me dog, talking to a 16 year old girl for two years bro talk, you deserve that.
You know how annoying that must be.
Talking about homework and pep rally your 16 year old girl for two years.
The torture that must be, son.
The only thing weirder than wanting to have sex with 16 year old girls is wanting to talk to 16 year old girls.
This idea that grooming grooming bro, it's kind of an arrogant way to talk about it too.
Like, go make you sound like you're like a show dog.
I was being groomed.
I was like some of these girls are like, bitch, you were getting cut, you ain't that?
You ain't that good on a leash?
Obviously right, you're getting trimmed a little.
I don't know about grooming.
I don't think they bust out the blow dryer.
The real best in show only speaks when told to speak.
You out here out of pocket barking, bitch.
Grooming is fucked up, though.
That's really what?
Grooming is fucked up, though.
You shouldn't do that.
Yeah.
It's arrogant.
I thought Mark has something.
That sounds like Mark was setting up something right there.
No, that's me setting up my future career.
Nah, for real.
Obviously, grooming is super foul.
Definitely fucked up.
It just doesn't look like the dude was grooming.
It just looked like he liked barely legal chicks.
And a lot of motherfuckers is on barely legal internet.
It looks like he likes illegal, but he's willing to wait for barely legal.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
I don't like these comics that are like, man, this guy's so gross while they're jerking off to incest porn and fucking illegal porn all the time.
That's true.
Like, y'all got the same taste.
Hold on.
Let me decide what I say before I say it.
It is weird that that's a category.
And you know what?
Before this whole thing, we've said, I think on this podcast, like, why is that even a category?
Yeah.
Like, why would you even call it that?
Like, just you don't even got to say nothing.
Just have them look that way.
And then the people who click it don't got to feel like fucking pedophiles.
Yeah, call it like Benjamin Button porn or something.
Don't even mention age.
Just show the young-looking bitch.
And then you can be like, oh, I guess she's legal.
Instead of going, hey, you're a creep, click.
Right?
You said you were like, if you click on that, it's you want to see younger people.
It's just, that's the only legal way of seeing what looks like younger people.
It's minimum wage.
That was what we said about it.
It's like minimum wage.
Like, they want to pay you nothing.
They want you to be a slave.
You think Ronald McDonald don't want you to be a slave?
Yeah.
Ronald McDonald?
Ronald McAdunder?
R.I.P., R.I.P. They're closing the one on 42nd Street.
No, they're not.
Where the dykes are going to throw hamburgers at each other?
No, Westport.
They still got West Fort.
Oh, pew.
Thank God, bro.
If you don't think women could throw, son, go to the West Fort McDonald's, bro.
Anyway, so just to, what is it?
You know, add some closure to this, to this shit.
So far from what we've seen, I can't say that Dalia knowingly entered into relationships illegally.
Minimum Wage Slavery00:15:03
Yeah.
I can't say that he likes younger girls.
There are lots of guys out there that like younger girls.
You know, there's a lot of guys out there dating 18 to 22.
Okay.
Yeah.
There is.
Yeah.
You know?
So what you smiling about.
Is this a big gauge gap between both of our girls and us?
You know what I mean?
Like.
Son, my girl's 14 years old.
You know what I'm saying?
My girl's.
My girl's 26.
Now.
You know what I mean?
22 when we started dating.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
But girls age quick like milk.
You know what I mean?
Like milk would be good on a Tuesday and then Wednesday, you take a sniff, you'd be like, what the fuck is this?
God damn.
God damn.
What percent old is this?
This should feel like 99% old.
Here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay.
We're coming down.
We're coming down.
We're almost there.
We're almost at the pinnacle of the year.
We are almost at the most flagrant moment of all of 2020.
But before we get there, we have to see the runner-up.
The penultimate moment.
The penultimate moment.
Looting in Minneapolis, or as Charlemagne calls it, Minneapolis.
That shit was hilarious.
Yeah, he kept calling it Minneapolis.
And I know someone's going to cut footage of him saying, man, it's foul what's happening in Minneapolis.
And it's just me going, I'm not laughing at the looting and the destruction.
I'm laughing at him calling it Minneapolis.
Now, obviously a lot of crazy shit going on with all the looting.
Question.
If you loot and you bring home food for your family.
Yeah.
Does your girl consider that effort?
Hey, hey, let me tell you something.
Is that effort?
Because that's effort.
She's probably going to be like, I mean, there's TVs at Target too.
You couldn't grab the TV while you're at it.
Yo, I'm all about effort, bro.
I really understand effort now.
They were making some effort in Minneapolis.
Did y'all see the effort?
Yo, that shit is effort.
What do they always complain about?
Modern day hunting.
Say what?
That's modern-day hunting.
That's modern-day hunting.
And, bro, what do people in Minneapolis always complain about?
How cold it is, right?
Everything on fire, right?
That's got to increase the temperature a little tiny bit, right?
Minneapolis must at least have gone up a few degrees.
Hey.
Yo, let's be honest.
How soon into the looted, because we all know we're all looting.
How soon into the looting are you looting?
Like, is it...
My only concern is I could get fucked up.
There is no, I'm not going to pretend there's any moral like, well, I'm not paying for things.
My concern is I might get got if I walk out with something too nice.
Can I say something?
Can I say something about this?
What's interesting?
When it's Black Friday, they got fights.
Yeah.
But looting?
Man, people aren't going to be able to do it.
People think about everybody.
Hey, looting.
Having a good time, sharing.
Looting is civil unrest, really.
Unrest, they breaking shit, but it's a little civil.
It's civil units.
Is that your Dyson?
All right, you got that.
Isn't it more in stock in the back?
You check the back?
Hey.
You're talking to them like infants.
Hey, you got somebody in there like this.
One flat screen per person.
They're following the arrows still on the ray.
They're going along with everything.
Son, everything's been working out.
Looting is a trick.
This shit is supermarket sweeps.
Do you remember Supermarket Sweeps?
Do you remember Supermarket Sweeps?
That shit was so lit.
I didn't give a fuck about groceries, but I was like, everything's free.
All right, if you're looting, what do you go get?
That's okay.
So first off, how soon into the looting are you jumping in?
We all know we're jumping in.
I got to see people that look weaker than me looting and be like, all right, cool.
Okay.
First woman to go in.
You're going in?
Not the first woman.
It'd be one of these big-ass Samoan bitches.
You got that.
I'm not ready yet.
A little Chinese girl going in there.
Hey, bitch.
I'm ready.
All right.
How soon into looting are you joining Lunic?
And all right, go.
So the group has to be big.
You got to be big because if the group's too small.
Yeah, if the group is too small.
Then you can still get got.
Okay.
I know.
Mark.
I think it depends on the time of day.
That would dictate.
Daylight.
Daylight?
Full daylight.
Actually, I only loot during the daylight.
I don't feel comfortable at night.
That's more scary.
Only loot during daylight.
100%.
Daylight.
And low-key, I'm walking in there and I'm going, hey, what's going on there?
Hey!
Start picking stuff off the ground.
Hey, hey, where is this supposed to go?
Hey, we all clean up in there.
Yo, they're going to follow you like they follow that motherfucker at AutoZone.
Are you a cop?
Tell me not a cop!
We're going to get into that little auto zone shit.
I would get a shopping cart.
You would get a shopping cart.
You wouldn't do it with the shopping cart.
Would you carry around a broom so you could act as if you're cleaning it up if the cops come in?
Yeah, I would put on a red, a red polo.
Y'all are fine.
I'm worried about y'all when cops aren't there.
Say again.
But here's the thing.
If you, this is what happens with looting, which is why it's so beautiful.
If I'm carrying some shit you want, and then you take it from me, right?
I know where I got it.
I know where I listen.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm not even going to have a, it's not even going to be a big deal.
You got this one, bro.
I'm going back to it.
Go to the source.
I'm going to the source.
You got the PlayStation 2, first of all.
Are there any men?
PS5 was out right now.
They are lucky.
Whoa.
Yo, if you work in one of these places, you're better off looting at the place you work.
100%.
Because you know where everything is.
Where everything is.
And when the cops show up, you go, man, isn't this crazy?
That's exactly what I was going to say.
I was like, I'll look for a uniform or whatever store I'm in.
Throw that bitch on and be like, son, I was just working.
I was always in my shift.
It's four in the morning.
You're like, yeah, night shift.
Also, do greeters stop working?
It's just your job to greet.
You got security.
What stores do you shop at, son?
Walmart got greeted.
Walmart got greeters.
That's all I know.
Really?
I've never really been together.
I'm not afraid of Walmart, too.
Ain't no Walmart greeter working.
No, but think about it.
You got to do your job still.
Your job isn't to protect the stores.
Maybe at Walmart, they still make you do your job, but I'm not going to be able to do that.
Well, I can't do it.
You're going to be at Walmart, bro.
Welcome me.
Welcome me.
You think that's why they started looting?
Say what?
They walked into Target and they were like, nothing?
Son.
Yeah.
We can't get fair just anyway.
I think they started looting for a different reason, Mark.
Following the news at all.
It might have been that.
No justice, no greets.
No justice.
No greets.
But for real, think about it.
Looting.
Looting is kind of how humans operate with nature.
It's actually in our DNA.
It's the most important thing.
When you come across a tree with mad oranges in it, you take them shits.
As many as you can carry.
No checkout.
Yeah, we call it harvesting.
Harvesting.
That's all people are doing is harvesting.
This is harvesting.
They're harvesting Target.
First of all, don't name your store that if you don't want to be the first place we go.
That's a good ass point, yo.
They're targeting us.
No shit.
The logo's a bullseye.
Of course you're going to get it first.
Yo, black people are probably just going there to talk about how they felt.
Yeah.
We're better to talk about how we feel like Targets than Target.
Than Target.
You think the black people are going to go to KKK, Mark?
What's all the other stores?
I guarantee you this motherfucker is protecting Kmart right now.
They're not going to let it happen.
Ain't no blue light special over here, yo.
What's a blue light?
The cops!
I'm telling you.
Kmar was fucking thirsty.
Kmart knew it the whole fucking time.
The angle supermarket sweeps us.
Yo.
We're not supposed to have this much fun about what's happening in Minneapolis.
So now what are you guys getting?
Say again?
What do you guys take?
Where am I going?
First thing?
Yeah, what's first thing?
Candy.
There is a hierarchy of shit that you're going to take inside the store.
Are you calling your mom and be like, mom, do you need anything?
Yeah, 100%.
You have to.
You are.
Yeah.
You have to.
But then you can miss out on a lot of the good shit.
You call her on the way, yo.
Plan ahead a little bit.
No, no, no, no.
A loot does not happen like, yo, we about to loot.
You're protesting.
Somebody busts open a window.
A few people go in there.
They start grabbing shit.
And you're like, well, I don't want to be.
The motherfucker ain't got shit.
Hey, look, you can.
Yeah, like, you can't do multiple stores.
It's one store.
Yeah, we in there.
You got this shit out.
This is Black Friday for real.
We planning this out.
There's no planning.
There's no planning.
You have to plan now so that when it happens, like, that's the move.
That's the move.
Flat screen TVs.
I'm going to let my mom know in advance.
Hey, crazy.
That's like you make, you get 800 bucks, maybe?
And you have to carry this giant.
Okay, what's more valuable?
I would get as many SD cards as possible.
SD cards?
They're so cheap nowadays.
No, they're mad expensive.
You get the big ones where it's like 200 gigs.
Okay, that's behind the case.
All right, he made one of them smart answers.
Because I know when I was on supermarket sweeps, I wasn't on it, but I was imagining it.
I'm like, I'm getting all that fucking Captain Crunch.
Do you know what I'm saying?
I was like, I'm going to get all that Captain Crunch.
And then these bitches out here, they get steaks and all that kind of shit that causes way more.
So SD cards is good.
What's something else that's expensive?
That's and portable.
And little.
And little.
I'm going immediately to the jewelry store.
That's that's good.
Yeah, farm's jewelry section.
No, no, no.
Loser, keep it.
What are you talking about?
We're not talking about it.
This is almost real Sterling Silver.
Are we only talking Target?
I thought we talked at any store.
Nah, it's whatever's being looted.
Currently, I think it's just a department store or something like that, like a mall.
What's being looted?
Okay, okay.
So I see people trying to break into the cash registers with sledgehammers.
I ain't got no $50, bro.
You have $50.
He pays cash at Target.
That's mad luck.
Mexicans, that's it.
Yeah, wait, what?
Mexicans be paying cash everywhere, yo.
They get paid in cash, bro.
Hey, they pay cash.
That's what I'm saying.
They don't got that W2.
W dos.
All right.
All right.
I'm trying to think of what I would get.
Fuck, what's the most expensive thing?
I'd tell you.
I'm not trying to come up crazy on money.
Get you a little camera.
I don't think camcorder.
Oh, maybe you could like break the thing.
A lot of shit they keep in the back.
The SD card is behind the fucking case.
And it gets super easy to steal cameras, bro.
You could break the case, but you're not going to find cameras.
Like, even the cameras they put out in the spot, I don't know if those are legit.
No, but they all in a bat.
That's right.
They're all in the bat.
So you can't get.
Are we going straight to the back?
We go in the back, son.
What do you think to say?
Yeah.
We ain't no front of the store.
Okay, serious question.
When enough people commit a crime at the same time, rhyming.
Uh-huh.
Does no one get arrested?
Bro, what can you do?
I'm kind of thinking.
I mean, you could look through the footage.
They got to have all the footage.
Son.
But everyone's wearing masks.
Literally.
What?
That's my, maybe the first thing I'd get because I saw people in that store.
They didn't have a mask.
Wait, what kind of mask would you get?
Probably want to cover my face, Mark.
Are you talking about like a medical mask or like an actual robber?
I would get a robber mask so that they couldn't tell my identity.
Yeah.
But you got to go in the store.
To get the robber mask.
Robber mask.
I'd also get a sweatshirt.
What?
I'd get some clothing or apparel so that I would go in as one person and then come out as a different person.
Ooh, that's that being said.
Get the hair dye too.
Get the hair dye.
I'm switching it up.
I'm coming out of there, Joker.
You're going to use all your time dying your fucking hair?
My whole shit up.
All I got was a $5 ball of fucking hair dye.
Walking out of your PlayStation 5.
I walk out ready to go.
Let's do some looters.
Just cops at me.
Like Eminem fucking.
No, but for real, if enough people commit crime at the same time, does nobody go down?
Like, fucking Dwayne Wade's robbing this target.
What's going on?
Poor Dwayne Wade trying to have, you know, be supportive of his kid, bro.
Hey, man.
He really wasted that shit.
He wasted the whole PR move.
That got swallowed up in the new cycle, right?
Oh, my God.
That's so cool.
Can you imagine?
Dwayne Wade made himself gay to support his kid.
And nobody even cares anymore.
And there's a whole ride to Minnie Indianapolis.
Hey, we don't got time for trans rights yet, bro.
This shit really reminded us.
Y'all down the line.
We got to give rights to other people before we get to y'all.
Oh, my God.
That's true.
Yeah.
Yeah, we have to run it back.
Remind y'all.
Remind it.
Yeah, Dwayne Wade, bro.
You have to protest with fucking pink hair looking like this.
It's like, come on, y'all.
He's all fired, dog.
Oh, my God, dog.
This is crazy time.
Okay, but in all seriousness, breaking the law together.
What is the rule in that?
I don't think if there's more people breaking the law than there are cops, you all get away.
No, they just grab some, and then you just kind of like run.
You just hope that you're not one of them.
It's a raffle.
That's lit.
SD cards.
I don't know, but laptop and camera.
Running with all black people.
10 Gs for the shit.
Fuck am I just cooked?
Cal just brought up a great goddamn point.
Oh, damn.
Thank you.
You're all going to stick out in the riots.
Not stick out.
If we're running away from the cops, who do you think they're going to catch up to first?
Oh, that's a good point, bro.
I'm going to be wheezing.
Hands on my knees.
Also, Minneapolis got all these Somalis.
You know, they could fucking run in a fast pants forever.
They don't need no food.
They just keep going.
Dog, there was this one video of this Somali chick.
They threw tear gas, the can, and the Somali chick ran up, grabbed the tear gas can, and threw that shit back.
And everybody's like, oh my gosh, she's so brave.
Like, she didn't do that in her country for fucking years before she came here.
You don't think she had experience?
She went like this.
She went, tear gas number two.
Like, when I'm walking in my apartment, I smell Indian food.
That's how she responded to the tear gas.
Like, hey, man, this reminds me of childhood growing up.
Don't grab it from the top.
I didn't call my mom.
Oh, boy.
Anyway, well, I'm glad we could have some fun with that.
Hey, man, we found the fun in that.
Nah, it is kind of crazy what's going on.
So, this morning we come in, we're discussing what we're going to talk about.
Lingerie Brand Chaos00:03:24
And a little conspiracy theory pops up that maybe the fire in the riots that started in Minneapolis, the fire might have been caused by a singular person wanting to incite the riots, a white guy, right?
Now, his race is important, but also not important depending on who you want, who you think benefits the most from controlling these riots.
So, like, the assumption, I think, is what, that this is government planned.
Let's put on the Tim Foil hat.
Let's get crazy.
Let's do like what the crazy conspiracy theorist is.
The conspiracy theorists would say that the government, yes, or like local police force or like basically some sort of government authority.
What the historical precedent for it is like what they call an agent provocateur.
Okay.
And like, there's like actual verified events of this happening, like Russia, even in the US.
That's a lingerie brand, son.
Yeah, I know.
That's literally a lingerie brand.
They took it from them.
I mean, the lingerie brand took it from the name that existed.
Wow.
You ain't never bought your girl no Asian provocateur?
Nah, you buy her that Victoria's Secret, that Epstein shit?
Yeah.
Of course I do, bro.
My girl's small.
Yeah, my girl's skinny, yo.
Son, do they make kids long?
Nah, forget it.
Forget it.
And there's a reason they like their girl skinny.
You know what I mean?
All right, go on, going.
Back to Asian Provocs.
I like that you thought that I was talking about the lingerie.
The lingerie?
I thought you were talking about that linger.
I'm like, there's a story about Adam and Eve.
You're like, the lingerie brand?
Wait, they got.
Oh, no, no.
That's a sex brand.
Sex website.
They sell dildos.
You think the Bible took it from them?
You think any girl stole a dildo during that loot?
Yeah, bro.
The ones that are walking funny?
Probably.
They dumped the bag on the fucking table.
We got everything.
This big old fucking rabbit comes together.
That's probably the thing that got stolen the most because these gay bitches are going to be the most ready to loot.
They're going to be the most bold with it.
And they got the most pockets in their pants.
That's true, yo.
They're wearing fucking jean codes out there.
They're wearing jean codes with the dungarees.
You're just throwing it inside.
What are those called?
Overalls.
Dungarees.
It's so white.
So dungarees, bro.
I can't remember the last time I said that.
Dungarees, dog.
What happened to dungarees?
I honestly don't know what dungarees are.
Every legend kind of looks like Antifa a little.
Tim Duncan wears dungarees.
Look like it, yo.
Shit.
That's a brand or type of gene.
I think it's a brand, I think.
No, I think it's a thing.
Like, you're not overlooking it.
Let me tell you something.
It's a thing like with the strap.
Is dungarees a type of thing like that?
Or that's just a brand?
I think it's a type of thing like that.
Shut up.
All right, you go, Keith.
No, in all seriousness.
In all seriousness, bro.
That's the first thing I'm looting.
I'm going to the dungarees section.
I'm passing people who got PS4 as an ex-box eye.
And I'm like, look.
I'm like, y'all seen anything.
Y'all seen any dungarees, bro?
She goes, yeah, they're in the back, locked up.
We might have to bust through and get them dungarees done.
All right, go back.
Agent Provocateur.
Go.
Antifa Dungaree Confusion00:05:24
Yeah.
So it's like a legit thing, apparently, that basically the core of the definition is like, it's a person who commits or who acts to entice another person to commit an illegal or rash act or falsely implicate them by partaking in an illegal act.
And so this happened in the U.S. a couple of times.
Like they say that the FBI poses agents.
This is from Wikipedia.
FBI poses agents to disrupt civil protests and activities, including the Ku Klux Klan, the American Indian Movement, and the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee.
This is the I don't know if this is the handout in my pocket or something like that, right?
Is that what they alleged happened with that with Malcolm X?
Yeah.
I'm not sure about that.
Now, this is the same as astro turfing?
Kind of.
Astro turfing would be like implementing like information to create a movement.
Whereas this would be going into a pre-existing protest.
Real quick, a grassroots movement would be an organic, independent movement, right?
Kind of like us, right?
Organic, independent movie, pushing back against, you know, cancel culture, having fun, say what you want on fucking podcasts.
Astro turfing would be if some company like Comedy Central paid us essentially to do that, right?
Is that right?
They paid us and they like, you know, put up all the money.
They created all the systems, et cetera.
But made it look like it was organic.
Yeah, yeah, but yeah.
But they were like, don't mention us at all.
Right.
But you just keep it.
IK.
Got you, gotcha, gotcha.
But this thing actually happened in 2013.
This officer was arrested and sentenced to two years in prison for second-degree assault, coercion, riot, and criminal mischief at a motorcycle rally and literally went in, was like breaking windows and like starting all sorts of shit.
Right.
So the assumption is, and clarify, is that there's this guy, and there's a video of it.
You guys can check it out on Twitter.
Matter of fact, we can play it in a second.
Matter of fact, why don't you just play it with no audio while we're talking over it?
So this guy is seen during the day before the auto zone is on fire, obviously, leaving the auto zone.
He's got a full umbrella.
He's got a full gas mask.
He's got goggles, backpack, gloves, everything.
He's seen leaving the auto zone.
Apparently, he broke a window in the audio zone.
Later that day, the auto zone is on fire.
There's a building on fire, etc.
So people are going, why the fuck was he in there?
He doesn't seem like he's part of the protest.
The people who were protesting are trying to check him, and he's walking away from them and arguing with them.
Can't really see his identity because he got all this shit over his face.
But some people are saying maybe he put some explosive shit inside the auto zone.
Now, what is the benefit?
You guys were explaining this to me before the podcast.
But why would the government, the police force, the CIA, the FBI, whoever the fuck, why would they do this during a protest?
What would be the point of it?
So it basically would incentivize, like they're trying to incentivize people that are already angry to do violent and like To do violent criminal activities to then discredit their movement and their protests.
Right.
So it's a PR move.
It is a PR move on behalf of the government, right, or the police force or whatever it is, because you want to move or shift the conversation away from police brutality and this innocent black man that was murdered to look how hostile and violent these protesters are.
Yeah, and then you start seeing, you see all these people.
Maybe it was just hate retweets, but all these people being like, yo, I...
I accept your right to civilly protest, but when you start rioting and looting, you lose all credibility with me.
Like that exact tweet I'm seeing everywhere.
And I think it also gives the authorities a reason to go in with force.
So they can't just go in with force when people are peacefully protesting because you look like a bunch of douchebags.
You just killed a black guy, right?
Innocent black guy, choked him out to death, and then you're just going to start shooting rubber bullets at innocent protesters that are protesting something that shouldn't have happened in the first place.
The Constitution protects peaceful protests.
Peaceful protest and the right to assembly.
So how do you stop that?
So how do you stop that?
You stop it from being peaceful.
Take away that peaceful word.
And then the conversation ends up becoming more about these riots than it is about the murder of an innocent man.
And right now you see that's what's happening.
All the airwaves are, even us right now, we're discussing the riots.
We're not discussing the murder of the innocent man.
And in some people's minds, as Akash was saying, it justifies the harsh treatment of people because people who have nothing to do or know nothing about the case start saying, well, maybe this is why the police got to be so harsh because you see what they're doing.
They're looting.
They're rioting.
They're whatever.
It's really interesting.
Not to mention it also would have like it likely affects the community that's affected by the police brutality.
That's something you guys were saying earlier as well.
It takes jobs away from black people that worked at the Target or whoever it is.
You blow up the auto zone.
Who does that affect?
It doesn't affect the rich white people.
It doesn't affect the rich Indians or the rich Asians.
Nope.
It doesn't even affect the rich black people, right?
It affects the poor people, black, white, Asian, Indian, whoever, who are in that one.
People seem to riot locally.
And when you locally destroy your businesses, that fucks up your business.
And then other businesses are going to be scared to come in there.
And then if you are the powers that be, you can say, you know what?
They'll fuck up their own property value 10, 15 years down the road.
We'll just buy it back super cheap, build high rises on it or whatever.
It'll just expedite gentrification.
Auto Zone Blowups00:07:47
Like, that's fine.
We'll just buy it cheaper.
So maybe we got to get information out there.
Maybe we got to get information out there about why you can't fall for this trap and how you can't.
It's not about not looting.
I like civil unrest, to be honest with you.
I mean, I think it's fucked up that there's private businesses that are being destroyed because of this.
Hopefully they have insurance and they can build all these things back up.
But I hope nobody's lives are lost or anything like that.
That being said, I like people fucking shit up to let the government know that like, hey, you can't just get away with everything.
We get angry and we break shit and you're going to have to deal with that.
So we're going to need our feelings addressed and we're going to need you to be accountable or else you're going to have to handle a lot more shit.
Oh, okay.
We lied.
There's one more.
So this is the, that was the pen penultimate.
Now penultimate moment of flagrancy.
Let's go.
Can I be honest with y'all?
When I was looking at pictures of my mom when she was younger.
Please don't.
Son.
Please don't.
Because I've seen them pictures.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Not only is my mom fine.
Like, my dad got a joy.
And my dad was handsome too.
I'm not going to lie.
He was a little stud.
Son, he was a stud muffin.
And right after I was born, my mom had the heavy tits.
Son, God had the heavy webbies.
She had the heavy webbies, dog.
She had them heavy webbies.
Son, you're nasty.
I'm just saying, objectively speaking, my mom's kiss was heavy.
Like, when you look at your parents, it's just love.
Can you look at her then?
Because I need to confirm what I'm saying.
Can't do it.
That's the shit.
She had the juggernaut.
Not the juggernauts, dude.
She did.
Gosh.
Them sweater pups.
And they were like, I know this is her.
I did.
And then I started looking at her and I was like, yo.
Does my girl kind of look like my mom a little bit back in the day?
I might have an Odaple complex.
Is it Odipole or Edible?
My mom was looking edible back in the day.
Let's go, Dad.
Let's go, dad.
You know what I mean?
Yo.
Yo.
I'm crazy.
Yes.
Akash, your mom wasn't fire, young.
You get sure where she was.
But you never saw it.
They didn't have pictures.
They just made the cameras there, sent them right over here, dog.
Mom moved here in the 70s.
No, 68 or something.
So they must have had a cam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she looks pretty.
That's my mom, but I didn't.
You know how pretty your mom was?
Your dad met her one day and said, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her.
I get it.
That's bad.
Yeah, no, I get it.
She was probably bad, but I don't.
I legit don't look at my mom and be like, oh, take a look.
Son.
At mama.
Keep it 100.
Keep it a stat.
I'm keeping it a buck.
She wasn't filling out that silk.
Son.
She wasn't.
She wasn't.
That silk wasn't busting at the seams.
You're gonna call her and ask her.
Yo, low-key, tell her to send the best pick because we know the feet are on point with that plum nail polish.
It's gone too fragrancy.
It's reached a limit.
Mom, what size bra are you?
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Wow.
Them juggernauts.
Why?
What is this for?
No, I'm just curious.
You're not going to make.
Did you get my note?
I think I thought I sent it this morning, but I didn't press the button.
What?
How can you remember?
I'm confused about that question.
Yeah, but did you send the picture of those jugs or what?
No, I didn't.
Why?
Well, why don't you send the picture over?
You want me to send a picture of my jugs?
What are you talking about?
No, we're just recording the podcast.
You're on the podcast.
Say hi to everybody on the podcast.
I'm not saying hi to anybody on the podcast.
Good night, Andrew.
No, You're saying hi.
Mom.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi, everyone.
And these creeps were asking if you had nice feet.
Oh, tremendous feet.
Tremendous feet.
No, I have a really beautiful pair of feet.
They're really lovely.
They're very strong.
I have no problems.
No bunions, no anything.
They remark about my feet, honey.
What'd you say?
They remark about how nice my feet are.
Who's they?
People, just regular people.
She knows how to send these.
You got OnlyFans?
Say that again.
What?
Do you have an OnlyFans?
Only?
No, I just said one.
I'm a dancer, so.
People see your feet and they remark at how nice they are.
Yeah.
I have a very good, good Looking too with me, Alex.
Alex, Alex.
Stop, nope.
Alex.
Nope.
Nope.
They got all uncomfortable because we were looking at pictures.
Remember the other night when we were looking at pictures?
And I was just remarking on how beautiful you were when you were younger.
No, I didn't mean like that.
Obviously, you're still beautiful, right?
But you were like, you were like a hot chick when you were younger.
Yes.
But they thought that my buddies thought you can't call your mom a hot chick when she was younger.
You were a hot chick.
I was a hot chick.
Yeah.
And then after you gave birth, you had some big old breasts.
I did gain some breasts.
Yes, I did.
A little bit.
But they went back down.
Oh, dear.
Some babies just crying their eyes out here.
Why don't you go feed that baby with those breasts?
Oh my god.
And then you do your y'all.
See where I get it from, huh?
Yo, this is the queen.
I'll tell you, you cannot phase Mama Schultz.
There's nothing you could do to phase Mama Schultz.
No, no.
But I, um, yeah, no, I was a really hot chick.
And your daddy, bro, wasn't he good looking?
Big dick.
Yes.
Oh, God.
Your father was always very nice.
At sex?
Okay, everybody, there's a reason why this moment right here was the most flagrant moment of all of 2020.
There is a reason why we left it for last.
There's a reason why it is number one.
And I could take some time here explaining why that was, or I could just show you the fucking clip.
So let's start with the match.
Would you guys, would you guys take red pill, blue pill?
Like if after you took the red pill, they were like, yo, one more shot, you can blue pill it.
That's a long silence right there.
I'm thinking about it.
The only cool thing about red pill is you get to learn shit mad easily.
Remember, Neil learned kung fu in 10 seconds.
Just shit.
Timberlands Frame Moment00:04:25
Could you learn not to dress like a shit?
I said to myself, how long before he roasts your ass?
I can't take this from Tommy Mahama over here.
Get the fuck out of here, yo.
So I got my burks, bro.
No, no, you are dressed like a hood baby.
Is he not?
You didn't have a hood baby.
But real time.
You dress like you want to fuck that hood baby.
Come on, bro.
You can't make jokes about that.
You will get delivered from fat eggs.
No, but for real, can you show your little cute ass Timberlands, bro?
Yeah, buddy.
Show his little cute ass Timberlands, son.
Bro, is this in frame?
You need to show these Timberlands in frame, bro.
Put them by the table.
Put them Timberland.
You know, they like to lift.
You got the little fucking crop Timberlands right there.
Son, take off one of your Timberlands, bro.
This shit is so adorable.
In this fucking door, I was trying to tell.
I was like, yo, take those off.
I told you, son.
What type of construction are you doing this?
A gay Z-Bow?
What the fuck do you use these for, bro?
What do you use these for?
Disappointing your father.
Those are the shit you get at Marshalls or some shit.
This shit right here, bro.
They don't even put this on a rack of Models.
They just go, like, you caught him.
You all don't care.
Okay, just like him.
You know what's bad, dude?
I bet your girl bought that, and so you're forced to.
No, she bought them shit in the shed room.
I was trying to give you the outside.
Nah, no, $29.
I said, let me try something new.
And it's not a good thing.
I know.
I see that now.
They upcharge you on them fucking galashes or whatever.
Look how hard he is to put his foot in them shits, acting like they have any framework whatsoever.
They just got no integrity, bro.
You got paper-mâché Timberlands, bro.
You got to take some risks sometimes.
Son, I hate your shoes so much, bro.
I tried to tell you to take them off, son.
You should have taken them off and you should have eaten them, bro.
But you spring roll Timberlands.
I'm not taking your fucking feet.
How you got a spring roll order on your fucking feet, bro?
I'm not even trying to.
I'm in your chest before you dump.
Oh, my God.
I'm done.
Get the fuck out of here.
I mean, this 100% seriously.
Can you roll those out and pray five times a day on that fucking Twitter?
Shut.
Whoa, God.
Do not look at the material on these fucking Timberlands.
I'm about to fill them bitches with soil and put a plant in them.
Motherfuckers.
Son, you dress like the matcha man, like you're not going to serve somebody out here.
Get out of here, yo.
Those Timberlands are never going to be worn again, bro.
I promise you.
They definitely will not.
Honestly.
Son, I would respect you more if you walk barefoot home.
Son, I lost confidence on the way up here.
I said, you know what?
I don't think this worked.
I wish I walked more in there.
How'd you lose confidence?
What happened?
Did you see a baby in a stroller with that feet?
Wearing the exact same type of Timberlands.
Same fucking bullshits.
Honestly, it looks like you left them shits in the bath too long, bro.
It looked like some dinosaur fucking.
Oh, man.
Bro, for real.
We got to retire those this podcast, and they got to be part of the background, bro.
You might want to just take those shoes down and put them on now.
We really got to, bro.
No, no, no, no.
You might want to put those on right now.
I do not know if they'll stand up straight.
I think they might just fold down.
I think we need to prop them up, bro.
I think we need to prop up those niggas.
It's like a costume boot.
It goes over your shoes.
Like the Jackson.
Where are you going, cookie?
You're going to take a shit inside of Christ's truck?
Look at him.
Look at the boots.
Look at him.
Yo, imagine he peed right on the boots.
Oh, man.
You would have to throw them out right now.
Yo, those getting thrown out.
Prop Up Costume Boots00:02:42
They would look way nicer, probably.
Those getting thrown out.
Those getting fucked up.
You know it's bad with Mark's dirty ass.
Crack it on his tail.
That's a big ass hole in his sock right now.
Mark came through with the Rip Van Winkle socks.
Nah, but for real, those Tim's, man.
I took a chance.
You know what I mean?
Everybody should try sometimes.
Al, fuck a black girl.
Mark, take a shower.
Let's try different things every once in a while.
You know what I mean?
I mean, the fact that I'm roasting you successfully while wearing these right now.
He's dressed like the boy in striped pajamas and you're over here getting fucking toasted.
I'm dressed like the boy.
He dressed like he wants to fuck me.
You think this is better for our wear?
For sure, yo.
This is how they dress.
This is rich white man attire.
You dress like a Coke half-brother.
I'm not full.
No.
I'm not all the way here.
He's got some black friends.
Oh, my God, bro.
I got sweaty, bro.
I'm literally sweaty right now.
For real.
You got to be sweating too.
I definitely am.
Yo, when you walk in them, I bet you when you walk them, they sound like water moccasins, bro.
I really believe I was trying to feel like the other Indians.
They look like motherfucker came through with the air geppettos.
All right, guys, that was the most flagrant moments of the year for 2020.
We hope you loved it.
Thank you guys so much for rocking with us.
This has been the most crazy year, obviously, you know, for all of us to exist in, but for Flagrant 2.
I mean, we grew, you know, to astronomical numbers, and that's all because of you guys.
We don't do any advertising.
We literally just try to deliver the best content we can, and you guys share it with the world.
You fucking did that.
So thank you guys so much for everything.
We are excited as hell about 2021.
We are coming back.
We are going to be stronger, bigger, better, braver, everything we possibly can be.
It's about to get crazy.
It's about to get crazy.
So we are excited to hit you guys.
First week, we will be there.
January.
We got the Patreon still going biggest comedy Patreon in the world.
We're going for biggest Patreon in the world this next year.