Chris DeStefano, Yannis Pappas, and Akaash Singh dissect Kamala Harris's racial identity, Trump's election denial, and Cuomo's pandemic failures while mocking Italian cuisine. They debate cancel culture's origins with Hillary Clinton, question the Electoral College, and speculate on Biden as a "Trojan horse" for Harris amidst conspiracy theories about Nazi meth. Ultimately, the chaotic dialogue highlights how media algorithms fuel division, revealing the hosts' complex political identities within a polarized landscape where systemic racism is monetized yet persists globally. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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The Uncomfortable Truth About Voting00:14:59
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
Obviously, I'm doing this intro because Andrew Schultz and Mark Gagnon are not in the building today.
That's not true at all.
They're in the building.
They are right there.
But they're not in the podcast.
So, I, Aka Singh, along with Alec the Media, brought on maybe the most popular guests that we have.
Maybe the best guests that we have.
The wildest guests that we have.
The history hyenas, aka the on-notice boys, Chris DeStefano, Giannis Papas.
We also got F.A. doing notes.
He's not going to talk much because that shit is too sexy.
Yeah, because I'm only fucking Americans speaking here.
I'm American.
That's man progressive of you.
I don't want to hear your dumb British accent because then I'm going to get horny on the podcast.
When you met him, did he ask you for your curry recipe?
Because that's like British cuisine.
No, he's Turkish Muslim.
Wow, my enemy is sitting over there.
Yeah, he looked at me.
Your parents might have raped my ancestors.
Cuz it's what it is.
Just admit you don't like Jewish people.
Just admit you don't like Greeks.
Just say it.
I feel it.
Free, full.
Elon Omar would just come out and say, listen, I don't like Jewish people.
Elon Omar?
What's her name?
Elon Omar.
What's the girl's name for?
Elon Elon Omar's from the squad.
No, it's Elon Omar and Elan Musk.
That's all.
People have been making that mistake for a long time.
Yo, imagine, yo.
Yo, and how do you pronounce Gandhi again?
It was.
Mohamed As Gandhi.
Mohamed As Gandhi.
Yo, how funny of the character?
How funny of the character?
Do you see how he got there, though?
At first, I was offended, and I was like, I see how.
That's our accent.
That would be like me discriminating against you for calling three free.
Let me tell you something right now.
No, we just did an episode on Mohamed As Gandhi, and there is.
There's an end in there, yo.
It's Mohandas Gandhi.
Mohanda Gandhi.
We did a fucking episode on this kid.
He's got an asshole.
How am I getting disrespected?
Andrew, not even ain't here to disrespect me.
Cuz you got to check out our episode.
We did one.
We found out some uncomfortable truths.
The kid was a sick puppy.
He was talking nonsense.
He slept with 13-year-olds, and he also dressed like he was sleepwalking in a sheet.
It's what it is.
I mean, get that kid a fucking shit.
He sleepwalks and wraps a sheet around himself.
Somebody who's cold.
He made his own clothes, yo.
Yeah, the kid always had his.
Look, you say Andrew Schultz isn't here, but I don't, but I think if you were to split Andrew Schultz into two, open him up, this is what you would find.
Honestly, you might be right.
Yeah, we're Andrew Schultz.
You might be right.
Yeah, you might be right.
What a dumb gagnon.
Imagine if you're a guy and you're just gag in the first part of your last name.
What's worse is his personality kind of fits.
A gagnon.
He's a gagnon, right?
Yeah.
That's the kind of guy that would gagnon.
F.A., what's your last name?
Can you say it?
Or you got to protect your stupid identity?
Oh, shit.
F.A. don't give a fuck how he's got.
Hello.
Hello, fucking.
Gavna.
Free four.
Gavna.
Hello, ladies.
You guys couldn't.
You tried to step up at 1776.
You got fucking scored.
You got fucking smacked.
How did we get here so fast?
Try to fucking evade again.
See what happens.
Exactly.
The only thing that'll happen is Chris will first take a second and he'll say cute coat and then he'll start killing me.
The only reason you guys even won a few battles is because my ancestors, as soon as we saw those red coats, come, we got our knees and we're ready to suck cars.
But if you didn't come in with red coats, it would have been over, as you say.
Do you have a war?
Can I warp?
Cuz you're a fuzzy fucking British fuck.
You're like a werewolf.
Everyone's going to get one in there, Stefano.
After talking about home mortgages like a fucking mobster, it's like, cuz we got the fucking refi.
We got to worry about it.
Hangs up and goes, where's the werewolf?
That's the first fucking thing he says.
I've never seen a more successful, not illegal activity Italian in my life.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, cuz I'm doing it.
But listen, there's always a little bit of criminality.
Like we couldn't get a mortgage.
I'm buying a house.
Cuz I put a house on the market, sold it, now I'm buying another fucking house.
That's how I roll.
I'm Christy Chaos.
And one lender wouldn't give me a mortgage, so we got a little criminality.
We dug a little deep.
We called the Italians and we got approved for a mortgage for $100,000 more.
So if you're listening to babe, we're getting that house.
Is it Sally Guzone who?
Yeah, it's fucking Sally Guzzol from Bay Ridge.
Sally Guzone gave him the loan.
You say, babe, you living with somebody in that house?
Me and my kid's mom back together.
It's what it is.
Yo, you're getting more Puerto Rican by the day.
You got baby mama drama.
Yes, I realize that it's not safe out here to be all white in 2020, 2021, moving into entertainment that we are not well liked.
So I figured I got a Puerto Rican by my side.
I'm safe.
It's like an insurance policy.
But that's what y'all are doing with the on-notice.
It keeps you safe on cancel culture, but it does leave you in danger for a couple of shots to the ribs.
It's what it is.
I'm safe.
I'm digitally.
I'm safe in my career.
I'm not safe at home.
Physically, physically.
Basically not safe, but we got a couple extra cell phones, we're good.
Yeah, but for every yang, there's a yang.
She doesn't know.
Yo, Chris, you getting more Puerto Rican every day.
Alex got three cell phones.
He's got one that only goes to the abortion race.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Yeah.
All right.
So both you guys have kids now.
Yanni Papi, new father.
I'm a new father, yeah.
To a baby girl.
You got a baby girl.
I got a five-year-old little baby girl.
And we're not going to let her pick her gender.
I'm not even going to let her see her genitalia until she's five.
No, I said.
We're just put a little curtain here.
And I just say, you pick whatever it feels like you have is what you have.
Yeah, that's important.
I mean, listen, my advice to Yanni was just like, look, dude, I mean.
Raise it conservative.
That was the first thing.
That's what I said.
I said, take that thing down to the fucking Republican, the local office, and register.
What did I say?
I said, we need more Republicans.
I said, tell her to do what's right, November 3rd.
She was two weeks old, but it's never too early to get that little fucking nub of a hand and press the right button.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
They don't even check ID in New York.
Your baby can vote.
Can you hold your baby's finger and just check off Donnie Day?
Did y'all vote?
Yes.
No, I don't vote.
I voted.
Yeah, why not?
I never voted.
I just feel, I feel like it's actually part of my job description to not vote.
You are a guy who wouldn't vote, and I want to hear your reason that's going to make us all feel stupid and make me lash out at you.
So I want to hear this reason.
I just feel like as a comedian, it's my responsibility to be outside and just take it to whoever everyone can get it.
Like everyone can get it.
And that's what I like doing.
I hate once you start forming an opinion and following what you think your followers want you to say, you've kind of ceased being a comedian and now you're a pundit.
You're just more of a pundit.
Can't you vote and still shit on people?
No, because then it's like, it excuse my biases.
You know, I like it.
Plus, I'm in New York.
I mean, who are we kidding?
I could vote for fucking, I could vote.
The fraud voted for Donnie T 10 times.
It wasn't going to work.
This state goes blue.
That's what it is.
I voted, but I genuinely don't think that everybody should vote.
I mean, the simple fact of the matter is even me.
How the fuck do I know if it's a better deal to go in the Iran fucking nuclear deal or the Paris Climate Accord?
I don't fucking know.
Yeah, I know.
You don't deserve it because you said nuclear.
Yeah, yeah.
The nuclear.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just voted for, you know, I was just making choices.
I did what Lil Wayne told me to do.
Not only Lil Wayne, Lil Zan.
I mean, there's a lot of lils on the Trump chain.
Yeah, it became a lot of lils on the Trump chain.
I'm 5'7.
I thought about it.
Yeah.
But yeah, but I mean, it's true with the Electoral College.
I mean, the votes in New York.
If they wanted more people to vote, then they would get rid of the Electoral College.
But then I understand that, you know, one side will win all the time.
But I don't know, dude.
We're kind of just holding it.
And they can't even hand out a lollipop at the polls.
People hand it, if you stand in line for four hours, you get a sticker.
You go to the bank, they give you a fucking voice.
They don't want you to vote.
And a pen.
Can I get a pen, a pin, something, a sticker?
Why not just make voting a national holiday?
See how many people can't vote?
They don't want you to vote.
They want to put obstacles up in front of you.
But I mean, I found a way.
Yeah.
You know, I know it doesn't work anyway.
Let's get a dictatorship going now.
Yes.
That's it.
Socrates said democracy doesn't work 2,000 years ago.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just mob rule.
I mean, let's just read the Republic, son.
Yeah.
Let the people rule.
Have you met the people?
I don't want them to rule.
Yeah.
Socrates said the fatal flaw in democracy is you let the people vote.
I was like, I thought that's what a democracy was.
Said, yeah, it's stupid.
I mean, you know, we need we need like a legion like X-Men.
Like our society's back all of these lucky.
We need, we know, we need a philosopher.
We need philosopher kings, but we don't, we look in the wrong places for philosopher kings.
You can't go to Harvard for him.
You got to get like a rainman-type autistic kid who can fucking count.
All right, if we had Rainman, there would be no need for a recap.
We would fucking look at the ballots and tell you how many toothpicks were in there.
We need one of those.
Then you need like Siamese twins.
You need like a council of presidents, one autistic, one Siamese twins with two heads.
So one's conservative, one's Republican.
And then they can argue with each other and figure it out and find a compromise.
The empire is very inclusive.
I got it.
Absolutely.
Wait until you see Joe Biden's cabinet.
Are you fucking kidding me?
It's going to look like a community college.
There's going to be everybody.
I mean, you can't wait.
You're going to see fucking trans.
I mean, every single thing that needs to be represented.
Turbids.
Fucking.
I mean, it's going to be unbelievable.
There'll be one straight white guy who doesn't get to do anything.
That's Biden.
He's like the Department of Agriculture or some gay shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Biden is the one straight white male who likes kids, who's allowed to, and everything else.
And then everybody else is not going to go to whites.
How do you think that's better?
How do you, I mean, you're, you're on the map now.
Yeah.
Kamala.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your peoples are on the map.
She was the first African American Jamaican Indian.
She didn't seem proud to be an Indian until she ran.
Yeah.
I get why it's important.
So I'm not going to say too much publicly, but I did peep.
You got proud when our vote could help you win a lot.
Let me ask you this, Sakasha.
What do you think of this?
Why is it always the same story?
Why is it always, you know, Kamala Harris, Ocasio-Cortez, Elon Omar, why do they always date white people?
I knew you.
You know what?
Why is it always white?
You know what I think it is?
What is it?
You know what I think it is?
You are overcompensating for your guilt that you have dating this other person, marrying this other person that doesn't look like you.
So you can't handle, you're like, yo, I'm proud of who I am, but I love this person who doesn't look like me.
So I overcompensate with pride, and this is offensive to me, and that's offensive to me.
And you're raising a fist in the air because you have to overcompensate.
God.
I think that's what it is.
I think that's accurate.
That's why I'm happy.
Yo, I got a brown woman at home.
She's a pain in the ass.
I love her with all my heart, but I'm not going to fight for all brown people.
I get it.
You know what I mean?
You can't offend me.
You can't.
There's nothing.
I'm good here.
I'm comfy with my brownness.
So, you know, Chris can say whatever the fuck he says.
I'm not laughing.
I'm comfy with saying the word comfy.
I like that about you.
Because I love saying comfy wumpy.
Did you hop on elephants?
Did you get married yet?
No, we got to get out of here.
You guys getting on elephants?
Eliot got pushed because of the corona.
Because of COVID, yeah.
You guys getting on elephants in the whole thing?
You know what?
I don't want to do animals.
You know why?
Because we could get a horse.
Yeah.
But my girl is a PETA and I'm like, I'm cheap.
So I was thinking, I don't want to get a horse because then everybody would know I'm too poor to have an elephant.
Got it.
And I don't need that in my wedding.
You know what I mean?
I think I'm fucking Lancelot walking in there.
And everybody's just like, look at this middle-class motherfucker.
Can't even get an elephant.
So I think I'm going to just go animal list.
Are you guys going to get married in the motherland?
We're thinking about it, actually.
Right.
I'm dead ass started.
Say queens.
Yo, fuck you.
Jackson Heights.
Don't disrespect me like that.
Or the valley.
I mean, let's be, let's, you know, because there's Indians everywhere.
Yeah, or you're everywhere.
Yeah, I mean, you guys are fucking everywhere.
You could go to Sunny Val, and that's also kind of the motherland.
Have you ever done Sunny Val?
Or like going to the Rooster Tea Feathers?
No.
It's all Indians.
The first show I sold out was Rooster Teeth Feathers.
That's how I knew that.
I didn't have Indians here.
Actually, it was no room anywhere.
Yo, I love Indian people because.
Or you could, the motherland could be a fucking hospital.
I mean, it's all Indian doctors.
They're everywhere.
Babe, you know what?
When's the last time you had a white doctor in New York City?
I don't want a white doctor.
The guy who trusted the guy that just coming out with the vaccine, I believe, for Pfizer is an Indian cat.
Yeah.
Indians are fucking crushing it, dude.
The Turkish.
Oh, the Turkish?
Oh, like, what the fuck, F.A. What's the last time you told me?
Now, are you going to take it that we just got info that the vaccine is made by the Turks?
Yeah, but the CEO is Greek.
So, yeah, work for me, bitch.
That's what it is.
Yeah, CEO of Pfizer is Greek.
It was a German woman and a Turkish guy, and they're at the same time.
You know what's interesting about those are two fucking people that enslaved us.
So, work for us.
You know what's interesting about you as a Greek is you get really upset that everybody that conquered you, meanwhile, you conquered the entire fucking Europe.
Well, Macedonia.
And you're just like, yeah, you know, we did good things there.
But the Turks, fuck them.
Yeah, well, Macedonians would say that he was Macedonian.
He wasn't Greek, but Greeks would say that he was Greek.
He was obviously Greek, Hellenic culture.
But he was kind of like Alexander the Great was one, you know, he conquered, but then his philosophy was like to intermarry and he wanted to like spread the values and live the people.
He's like, hey, he's white shit, to be honest.
He's called colonialism.
And then you have to conquer and then be like, hey, let's build the McDonald's here.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's some white shit.
Stop being honest.
There's ketchup.
Babe, you know what something we learned about the Gandhi episode we just did on History Hyenas is that hyenas is great.
History Hyenas, baby.
At the end of Gandhi's life, like more than 50% of the country didn't like him.
Did you know that?
We always think of like Gandhi's the peaceful disabler, but most at the end of his life, right when he got killed, most of the country was like, fuck you, because he was telling everyone, Pakistan will not, it will not secede.
It will be one wholesome India.
Trust me, trust the guys.
And then when Pakistan got its way in its own Muslim country, the Indian people were like, you told us to listen to you, and now this.
Well, also, I didn't realize that.
He was also, he wanted to get rid of England, obviously, and, you know, so he could liberate his people and have independence.
And then when the British left, it left that power vacuum.
And that's when the Hindus and the Muslims really started killing each other.
And Hinduvat.
You know Hinduvat?
No about what Hinduvat?
I'm going to be honest.
I don't like what's happening right now.
I'm just not schooling you on your history.
I'm trying to tell you.
I just want to tell you because people are always first to, you know, yell and look at me and say, oh, look at you, you fucking Hitler youth head.
Hinduvat, a humongous section of India in the late 1930s, early 40s, supported fascism, supported Hitler.
Just FYI.
Just there you go.
Bang.
Yeah.
So I'm not, you know, my people didn't.
Just a little uncomfortable truth.
We love the juice on History Hyenas.
He fucked his 17-year-old niece.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
Well, he didn't fuck his life.
We don't know that he fucked her.
But he would lay butt naked with her and not let anyone else.
And you would get hard.
And the harder fathers into ashram, they weren't allowed to lay with their wives.
Only Gandhi could be with them.
Because he knew his wife won't fuck them.
No.
He influenced a lot of people.
He didn't like sleeping naked.
You don't want to sleep in a sheet.
You're already wearing a sheet all day.
That's just two sheets.
Who wants to do that?
He had a bed full of double bed.
That's double bed linens.
He had a bed full of 13-year-old children.
He influenced a lot of people.
He influenced Martin Luther King, and it looks like he also influenced Michael Jackson a little bit.
It's what?
Yeah, his ideas definitely kept going.
They outlived him.
From yeah, everybody.
From Martin Luther King to the subway guy.
Tell me that ain't prolific.
Tell me that ain't prolific, though.
It's telling me that ain't prolific.
I'm not.
No, no, we're not hating, but what we like to do on hyenas is just try to be the truth.
Is where it's just like, not everybody you think is a saint is a saint, and that's okay.
Like, like, everybody's got good and bad parts.
It's like, because when you go back through history and you want to cancel everyone, it's like, you know, like, for example, we just were talking about this a couple weeks ago.
Not Every Saint Is Real00:05:11
They want to take down Ulysses S. Grant's statue because he's his name too, Ulysses.
Ulysses S. Grant.
They want to take down his statues.
Now, these fucking Antifa fucking Democrat fucks want to take down his statue because he was anti-Semitic at one point in his life because his father was killed by a Jewish person.
But then towards his life, in Graticor of his life, when he became presidency, he still to this day elected the most Jewish members to a presidential cabinet because he, you know, atoned for his sins and said, I'm sorry I shouldn't have acted that way.
And then all he did was try to make his life better and say, I now support the Jews and accept the Jews, but yet still a statue.
You say two things.
One, I don't know anybody that knows more than you and then sounds like they know less than you.
Yeah, exactly.
Because when he became the presidency, is what you said?
Yes, Grant.
Yeah.
Also, you know what he needs?
He needs a movie.
Yeah.
Schindler, you can say the same thing about Schindler.
Oh, he wasn't doing anything early in the war to save Jews, to save his people.
He only atoned later.
Yeah.
He just needs a movie.
That's actually funny.
Like, yeah, in order for America to know what's going on, he needs a movie.
You need an hour and a half three-dimensional view.
Ulysses says Grant has a three-hour documentary.
That's awesome.
Not a documentary.
He needs a fucking rock playing.
He needs McConaughey to get in there.
Exactly.
He'd be a great Ulysses.
But then it's just interesting how Grant, they want to cancel him and they want to cancel George Washington.
But then somebody like Agandi is like, all these things are fine and great, but then he sleeps, you turn the blind eye to sleeping with kids.
You know what I mean?
And I'm not saying, but I'm of the mind.
I'm going to do that for sure.
But I'm of the mind of it's just one part of him.
He way outnumbered the great, and Gandhi should be celebrated.
I don't want to cancel him.
What sucks is I could try to defend Gandhi, but there's no way to do that.
I don't want to defend society without sounding like a fucking maniac.
Well, which is crazy.
In his defense, we don't know what happened in the bed.
He did admit that he got hard.
So that's the creepy thing.
He said, I got hard and he was laying with him.
And he was mad at himself.
And also that he chose 13-year-olds because what he was doing is he was trying to tempt, he was trying to tempt himself to see if he could keep his resolve.
I'm going to say it.
You know what?
Fuck it.
I'm going to say it.
Say it.
I get it.
Whoa.
Yeah.
You should have censored sitting in here for us.
I said I get it a little too quick.
Yeah, you said I get it.
I thought he was going to say something else.
Yeah, but that's just dangerous.
That's what's dangerous about you is because you're like a quarter listening to everything.
Oh my God.
Whenever I do a podcast with him, if like anyone can come on and just say something and you'll just go, yeah.
I don't think he slept with anybody and there's no actual, we're probably going to edit this.
There's no actual way to defend it without sounding like you're enabling pedophilia, which I would never.
I just think back then, pedophilia wasn't the same age as it is now.
Right, right.
Do you know a Kama Sutra?
Are you good at it?
I'm going to be honest.
I'm worse at sex than anything I'm bad at.
Yeah.
That's like a fucking waste of height.
That's like when you see a tall guy and you ask him if he plays basketball and he says no, he doesn't.
You ask an Indian kid, do you know Kama Sutra and he says no?
It's like, what's the fucking point of being if you don't know how to fuck good?
You know, you know how you know Indians aren't good to fuck?
You ever seen the Kama Sutra with them?
The positions ain't no.
Dude, they know how to fuck, dude.
They do yoga and fuck.
They don't even fucking stroke.
They vibrate like this.
They just hold each other and fucking vibrate.
I'm telling you, I've been doing yoga by Adrian on YouTube.
Yeah.
And you fucked your yoga instructor.
It's what it is.
Edit that part out.
Yeah.
And so, but since I've been doing yoga by Adrian, just like to fuck a lot of things, it's what it is.
Because I'm a horned up kid, but I haven't had sex with anyone but my kids.
Absolutely.
Eight months.
This is old.
Yeah.
It's what it is.
I got a couple of blowjobs, but it's not sex.
That's what it is.
Those are the rules.
Those are the rules.
No, those are the fucking rules.
It hits the ground for a couple seconds.
Okay, let us start the yoga by Adrian point over without.
Yeah, you don't have to edit it.
I'm kidding.
Keep it all in.
I'm Chris.
I'm all in.
Just joking.
It doesn't say it's true.
We don't know.
It's what it is.
I got grease ball lawyers, grease ball mortgage guys.
I get out of trouble.
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Sheath Underwear Promo Code00:14:47
Let's get back to the show.
It's true.
I mean, that's the fucking world we live in now.
We're comedians.
We got to watch what I say.
Fucking, I went to watch an old video of mine yesterday.
It had a sanction on it by YouTube.
And then I scrolled and watched a beheading video with a fucking Colgate commercial in front of it.
That's the fucking world we live in.
This is the 10-year anniversary of Mauricia yesterday.
It is a 10-year anniversary.
It is to this day.
If you guys haven't seen Giannis Papa's Mauricia, just look it up.
It's to this day one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen in my life.
But do you think I could ever, I couldn't even put that on the internet today?
You know what I mean?
They would take it on the internet.
They would demonetize it.
They would get it on the internet.
I wouldn't even be able to get it on the internet.
I think if you were our age or like near that, you will watch that and still think it's funny.
I think if you grew up with cancel culture, you won't understand 10 years ago things were done, right?
Because there's going to be, there's going to be eventually what's going to have to happen is you're going to have to have one thing like a Netflix, you know, whatever for everybody else and Disney Plus and Hulu and all that.
And then one for the canceled.
Like a comedy dark web.
It's going to just have to exist because we're going to have to exist on the comedy dark web.
We're going to have to.
Because there's no way.
Patreon is a step in that direction.
And it's too popular.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like, it's just too popular.
Even, I'm not going to get political, but let's just say you look at people.
And you look at it by the voting, the voting.
70 million people voted the other way.
Yeah.
And I bet you a lot of them don't.
You mean the right way?
Yeah, onto the right.
Right wing.
That's what I mean.
The right wing way?
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like somebody has to serve.
How do you point to the right?
You go like that?
Nobody's serving this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
I mean, Roseanne, when Roseanne came on, it was like it was doing like pre-cable internet numbers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it wasn't very funny.
So she's very funny, but it was serving those people.
That's why I got 12 million viewers.
The numbers weren't bananas.
They were bananas.
Yeah.
12, 15, 20 million people watching.
It's like pre-cable numbers.
So whether you like it or not, this country, Money Talks, at some point, somebody's going to serve those people besides Andrew Schultz and us.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
I mean, you know.
They don't need to.
We're doing all right without them getting in our market.
We're cornering this pretty well.
I know.
Dude, I'm telling you, I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
Like, I mean, the success you guys have on Patreon and doing your own thing, it's like, what better way to have it where it's like, you're only known to your fans.
You guys are making money hand over fist.
You can say and do whatever you want.
I mean, what would you give that up for?
For a sitcom on NBC?
No way.
First of all, and I also lose money.
And it's this fucking thing.
It's like, if you have a podcast, all of a sudden you're Republican or like you're fucking alt-right because you make your own fucking money.
What is a fucking Republican comedian?
That's why I don't vote.
It's like, why am I a Republican comedian?
You know, why am I, I mean, when did that, when did this become like there's these fucking left, I'm a left-wing comedian?
Then you're not a fucking comedian.
If you're a left-wing comedian, you're not a fucking comedian.
Put on a fucking suit, hand out some pamphlets, and fucking run for office, you bitch.
You're always on the morally correct side.
You're not a comedian.
You're not a fucking comedian.
I'm not an activist.
What class clown do you remember who said the right things in class to make you laugh?
The reason we watched.
Danna Gatsby.
I'm going to be honest.
The new one wasn't bad, but the old one I couldn't get through.
It was just a good thing.
No, no, no.
I just did a corny joke.
I've never seen anything.
Fair enough.
But I would love to watch her.
And she seems like a nice guy.
Put his finger up.
I mean, we're putting that fucking kid to work.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, the lights are flickered.
They've been doing that.
We're putting you to work.
I'm kidding around.
But see, I should be able to say that and not have anybody be upset about it.
I was just kidding around.
I don't know.
The guy.
Yeah, by the way she looks and dressed.
I would think she would think that it was accomplished.
It's a fucking mission accomplished.
Like, yeah, thank you.
Mission accomplished.
She can hit me all she wants.
She doesn't care about me.
I'm a peon.
I mean, I don't know what she's going for, but it definitely looks like she's going for guy.
Whatever, dude.
You know what I've noticed is liberal people will love anything offensive or like uncomfortable if it's like they know it's scripted, like the office.
Sure.
Liberals love the office.
It's wildly offensive.
But because it's fake, it's scripted.
They're okay with it.
Sure.
The second it's a stand-up, it becomes real to them.
That's why I think they can't handle stand-ups.
Right.
I think they're just like, no, this is real.
But for me.
They can't separate themselves from comedy.
Right.
But that's what I'm saying.
And they also are retroactively making rules and changing goal lines constantly.
So I don't like that at all.
That's why I think this space, we control every aspect of it, which is the best.
If you don't like it, don't listen.
Like, dude, we talk about it all the time.
Like a guy like Shane Gillis, him getting canceled and getting into his own podcast Patreon space did more for his career than SNL.
If he was an SNL cast member, you wouldn't have to do it.
What it just came in was best thing to happen.
I don't even know any cast members' names.
No, I mean, look, I understand SNL, it serves a purpose for its people.
I get the people that like it like it.
I totally get that.
But it's just like if you want to sell tickets and make money and be on the internet, then it's like, yeah, that's just not the speed of it.
You're not going to sell tickets off that show anymore.
It's just not going to happen.
Let me ask you guys a question.
When do you, because it's a 10, like it.
Because your baby's beautiful.
Thank you.
She's a good person.
I love Pays Fred.
She's a cute kid.
I got a cute kid.
Thank God my baby's not a dog show.
Thank God.
Thank God.
And she's got two eyes because Niani only has one eye, so we're nervous.
Yeah, and my only job.
She's got two separated, beautiful eyes.
She looks like your wife.
Thank God.
I mean, what would you do if your baby came out and looked like Maurice?
I think I'm, yeah, I might as well just try to shove it back up there and say, shut up and watch it.
Yeah.
Thank God, my only job, I think, is to hug my baby little girl just as many times as I can so she doesn't come out.
I'm not sure.
I know.
No, because it's a joke.
Honestly, let me give you some fatherly advice.
I'm doing the opposite.
I'm hoping and praying my kid's a fat lesbian.
Because it's just as a father, it just takes a little pressure off.
If she's just fat and just goes a little gay, you don't got to worry about some fucking guy coming in and just going to treat her like shit.
So I think you want to go fat lesbian.
I know.
I'm just, I'm saying that was the joke.
I want my baby to be whatever.
First thing we're going to do is sit her down, tell her about tolerance, and tell her her to choose.
It's up to her.
I support it.
It's just, I put myself on notice for saying that.
I put it on the bottom.
On notice.
Notice.
I apologize.
Per executive.
I'm sorry.
Did you watch the onnotice boys video, Alex?
No, I didn't.
He's too fucking busy.
Schultz got up editing five.
He's out of time.
Yeah.
It was there.
I'm glad you said it.
And not me.
The joke was there.
So the time is marked.
The joke was there.
Sorry.
No, I was going to tell you.
No offense, Alex.
I'm just going to say that.
No, the joke was there.
Yeah, you can do it.
He's gaming.
It's a Schultz joke.
But we're joking.
He's making fucking more money than us.
Yeah, he's joking.
He's not noticed.
He's putting on notice.
I'm just kidding around.
He's a joke.
He's like, we're comedians.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I love you, AOC.
Yeah.
So the unnoticed boys.
So the unnoticed boys is it's a backlash against PC culture, right?
It is and it isn't.
It's just we're making a joke at one side.
We'll also come out with a sketch next week that's making fun of the other side.
Yeah, we do that.
We're not like, we're just being silly.
But the problem is, is when we've made plenty of jokes about the other side, there's no backlash.
It's just either like it or don't like it.
Anytime you attack that side, it's all backlash.
If you don't like it, they can't just keep their mouth shut where it's like either favorite it and like it or move on.
That side, you're talking about people who want politically correct things.
Yes.
Like they have to cry.
The whole country wasn't boarded up.
I'm not even sure.
Because of Trump supporters.
Now I'm going to push back a little bit because I've no, I used to love Republican audiences.
They didn't give a fuck.
Just don't talk about Jesus.
That's easy for me.
I'm religious.
I respect your religion.
We're good.
You want to talk about Jesus?
You're good.
Now, anything you say, anything that they perceive as anti-Trump, fuck this guy.
He doesn't know anything.
He's so stupid.
Trump has actually created some right-wing snowflakes, too.
That's true, too.
As funny as he is on Twitter, and as funny as it is when he shits on PC culture, he also has created some snowflake culture.
You want a moderate audience, having the centrist, that's the best, best audience, which I genuinely believe makes up the majority of our country.
Country, yeah.
I think the majority of our country are down the middle.
Like, you know, we're all down the, I mean, Yanni's liberal, but he has a gun.
You know, like, I'm, I'm, I'm more, I'm more conservative, but you know, I believe that there should be tired of border security.
It's like, so I got a fucking, you know, I got a house and a kid, but you know, I believe in a woman's right to choose.
I think I don't want children in cages, you know, but it's like, listen, if you don't got your right papers, you got to get thrown over the wall.
It's just what it is, you know.
And Yanni's a snowflake with a shotgun.
But he's got property.
Yeah.
You know, everyone's trying to put us into these monoliths, into these groups.
We're all complicated people that have opinions that run the gamut.
You know, I think as a comedian, I think for me and our podcast, History Hyenas, hyenas, hyenas, history hyenas, patreon.com/slash Bay Rich Boy.com slash Bay Rich Boys.
Yep.
We're either trying to make you laugh no matter what you believe, or we're trying to piss you off for the right reasons.
Yeah.
I mean, pissing someone off for the right reasons is a lot of times just as fulfilling as making them laugh.
The on Notice Boys sketch, if you guys watch it, or if you check it out, it's not even there's a moment.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's a moment where Giannis, I'm not giving anything away, but he kills that sketch.
Holy I saw Chris almost break.
That made me laugh harder.
Yeah.
That shit killed me.
FA, you saw it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I saw it free toys.
Yeah.
I saw it free.
It was free minutes and I saw it for free.
Free toys.
Thanks, come back.
Thanks.
Yeah.
So what kind of fucking shoes are you wearing, guy?
I mean, those things are wild.
They look like whipped cream or shit.
He saw the studio shoes.
Andrew bought a pair for everybody.
Oh, God.
Okay.
So the Fury Boy.
Looks like a baby's fucking winter jacket on his foot.
So, but with the AOC sketch, all we were trying to point out is we have no problem with AOC or the, we're just like silly.
We understand some good things are bad.
You know, like we said, we understand both sides.
We understand both sides.
But the thing that we're making fun of, which was scary, is that she tweeted out that any Trump Cincto fan, anybody that we were going to be on some kind of sicko fan.
Sick of fans, I was trying to say.
Yeah, any Trump fan.
He's got a doctorate in physical therapy, but here's the thing about a physical therapy doctorate.
You don't really got to learn how to read in order to massage people.
No, it's what it is.
Yeah, I just get in there.
It's just about making them come.
So the sketch was about just calling that lunacy out, how anybody would be on the list because of something they tweeted when the whole point of America is now freedom of speech and be in democracy and agree to disagree.
So we just thought that tweet was wild.
So we went off that.
If you're going to just write off almost half the country, that's insane.
For any one reason, that's insane.
And I think you got to understand some people might not be extreme right and they still voted for the guy.
Why?
Instead of saying, fuck you, hey, maybe if you ask why you voted that way, and then I understand you, and then I'm like, all right, but here's my point of view.
Look, we can actually meet somewhere in the middle.
One, I bet you one of the, because some members of my family did this.
One of their amazing people.
One-issue voters.
Single issue.
One issue.
Well, just how the Republicans and Democrats have chose, you know, either the pro-choice, pro-life religion thing, that makes people have to choose.
Like, people in my family are very Catholic, very religious, great people.
They believe in the, they believe that a baby's a miracle and you can't kill a life, so they will always vote Republican, always, just because of pro-choice.
Yeah.
So it's like, does that make them a horrible person?
Yeah.
No.
But there should be separation of church and state.
So that's what I'm saying.
There should be.
Yeah, it's not a religion.
It's more of a.
And that ties back into Chris's point that not everybody should be able to vote.
I think.
Yeah, I think so too.
I understand your religious.
Any one issue that trumps everything else, probably.
Yeah.
I don't think I should be able to vote.
You made a good point, though, dude.
It's like, yeah, I mean, we go, the left has become such an easy target because there's so a lot of the far left has kind of hijacked them a little bit and they've gotten so zany.
But the right is still, there's still meat on that bone because those motherfuckers will believe anything.
True.
You get on the internet and you're like, hey, you're like, hey, there's kids touched there.
I saw some kids get in touch in the basement of a Walmart at 23rd and 2nd.
There's like 15 guys going to show up in military garb and shotguns saying, where's fucking Hillary Clinton?
How did she turn into a demon?
And how are she fucking kids?
There's still to this day people that think Hillary Clinton like flavors her Pepsi with a board of fetuses.
Yeah.
I mean, you get a fucking parking ticket.
They're like, George Soros did this.
George Soros is like the fucking all-knowing evil devil can do anything.
Let me ask you guys a question.
I think, and I've said this before, I think.
You got to get more political, Akash.
I think I don't know anything.
I didn't even know every state got two centers.
Here's what I think.
I think Russell Limbaugh said this.
Politics is not a spectrum.
It's a circle.
And the extremes are the same.
And tell me if I'm wrong.
I think it's almost like, you know, how kids don't feel like they belong anywhere.
And sometimes that's how they fall into a gang.
Like they just feel love from this group of people.
So that's their family.
Do you think it's the same thing politically?
Like, what makes a person go extreme one way or the other?
I think there's a little bit of like, yeah, a little comfort in the group for sure.
It's like a group.
Hey, I belong somewhere.
Yeah, comfort in the group.
It's the same.
I think for when like a woke, a woke mob comes after you.
I think if they didn't know that there was others backing them up when those pilons happen online, they wouldn't do it.
They would be quiet.
They'd be scared to go at you if they didn't know that they had like a whole group that would also pile on and like it and retweet it.
Yeah, I mean, we're our species is shit.
Yeah.
We're shit.
Our speech, well, it's based in tribalism, our species.
That's the whole point of surviving.
It's a tribe, and people always want to go right to, oh, that's race.
No, it's not about race.
It's about like what you said.
Like you find your tribe.
You find the woke tribe or you find the conservative tribe or sometimes people do it on race or teams.
Well, the freedom of being a minority is my tribe is right there.
I don't have to look for it.
That's what's tough.
My tribe is not in Pakistan for sure.
Absolutely not.
When you said right there, you should be pointing at the trip.
They want a space for their own tribe.
How's that going, guys?
Anyway.
I think it's easy if you're a minority in the sense that, like, oh, this is my tribe.
I'm with them.
Let's roll.
Whereas for a white, straight guy in America, there is no, hey, this is what your identity is.
I remember Andrew as a comic would always be like, what do I open with?
I don't know how the fuck to open to address the audience.
Hey, this is who I am.
For me, I looked up, we went back and like studied old comics every minority comic from Chappelle, Greer Barnes.
Like I looked at special after special after special.
Patrice, I think, they pretty much always open with, in some way, I am this race.
Let's acknowledge that.
I'm different than most people.
The majority of the country, that's it.
White people don't have that thing to just latch on to.
So I think you guys are more, it's easier for you guys to fall into political extremes because it's like, oh, that's something I could latch on to.
Interesting.
That's my tribe.
You know what?
White people are not a monolith.
Absolutely not.
No group of people is a monolith, but it's easier to be monolithic if there's 3 million Indians in a country of 300 million.
Right.
That was what I was going to say.
It's easier for you to find comfort in the group.
Like Greeks.
Greeks are very insular.
They stick together and like Greeks stay.
They're very, they make themselves a tribe.
But white people, I think, especially now, has become sort of like when you see that white people phrase, it's become like a boogeyman.
It's like, you're like, white people don't know each other or care about each other at all.
More people marched, in all honesty, more people marched for George Floyd than they did for Tony Tempa at Tempa, who died the exact same way, and he was a white kid.
We've talked about that guy, and he was white.
Racism And Political Extremes00:12:27
It's like, we have had, we're a systematically racist country, but nowadays you can make an argument.
We've made a lot of progress.
We've had a black president, and now we got the first African-American vice president.
I don't care if you tell me she's Indian, she's black.
Yeah, because she says she is.
Because she says she is.
But that's the whole thing, too, where it's like, okay, I understand what people say America is such a racist place, but then the evidence really go to Europe.
Yeah, like never, never in net, not one European country has ever elected a black prime minister.
Nobody.
When a black player scores a goal in Europe, they'll still throw bananas on the field.
But wait a second.
You're forgetting one country that did.
Who?
Canada.
For one night, it was a black president.
Justin Trudeau.
Yeah, Justin Trudeau.
For one night at one party, it was the first black president of Canada.
Trudeau.
Yeah.
But so my point is sometimes like this narrative gets hijacked like anything else where we're so systemically racist of a country when the facts don't genuinely back that up.
But for me, for me, dealing with facts and emotions, there's two separate parts of the brain.
When I'm talking to someone who's emotional about things, you cannot come at them with facts.
They don't care.
You have to try to just match their emotions.
So I would never get into an argument with someone who's not being factual because I try to lead as much as I can with just facts where I'm like.
I think you have to, I think people just want them to, they want to feel acknowledged.
So if a black person is saying, yo, this country's fucked up, blah, blah, blah, there is racism.
Yo, there is absolutely racism.
Sure.
If you're going to say there's not progress, I can't agree with that because there has been progress.
Do we still have a long way to go?
Sure.
You also can't.
And Barack Obama said the exact same thing on the Marilyn podcast when he did.
Yeah, it was great.
You absolutely cannot say progress has not been made.
There is just evidence that has been made.
Do we have work to do?
Of course.
Relatively speaking, so do a lot of companies.
I'll give you evidence that it's changed.
Like, for example, like it used to be, if you said, hey, I can't catch a cab because I'm black.
I catch cabs so fucking.
It would be true.
You'd be like, you know what?
That's probably racist.
Can I tell you something, though?
Let me just say this.
Let me just say this.
Let me finish this.
You saying you can't catch a cab probably used to be true, right?
But now in 2020, if you're black and you can't catch a cab, let's be honest.
Yeah.
When's the last time you saw a white taxi driver?
It's not going to happen.
1973?
It was a movie directed by Martin Scorsese.
I don't think they exist now.
If you're not getting a cab, you got to take that up with the South Asian community.
If you're black right now, getting an Uber, you got to take that up at Metro PCI.
Yeah, you got to take that up with fucking Assange that's got nothing to do with Colby or Carter.
And that's where Kamala Harris might do the most, the most, make the most progress is we might get less anti-black.
What do you think of it?
Do you have to ever get in a cab, Alex?
But I do.
Ubers.
Kids got a Tesla.
He don't fucking take a picture.
But the thing is, yeah, it's like, to me, it's like the...
Yo, if you black, you got to get a Tesla so the cab driver can't be racist.
It's like, yo, I got artificial intelligence doing this.
Yeah, but I'm saying if the cab driver doesn't, you know, I'm not going to sip, huh?
It's probably, if the cab driver is racist, it's probably not a white guy who's being racist.
That's my point.
Yeah.
The thing is, but I think if you're black, you don't care that they're not.
Whatever race they are, that still feels racist.
But there's racism, but there's racism, but there's racism in every single race, right?
I mean, every race doesn't like another race for some reason.
Even within their own race.
That's how tribal we are.
Even Yannis sitting here right next to me.
And again, I am in no way, shape, or form diluting American slavery and how brutal it was to the African-American population.
It was horrible.
It's no way, shape, or form.
But Giannis's family, Giannis actually had someone who was enslaved in his family because when the Greeks were enslaved by the Ottomans up to the early 1900s.
So you actually have people walking around today who can look at someone who was enslaved.
But if I said that to someone in like, you know, in black America, they'd be like, fuck you.
We had it the worst.
And he had it horrible.
But my point is that so many groups of people were enslaved.
Humans, as Yannis said before, are just inevitably shitty people and will do things to fucking subjugate other groups.
And it's just gross.
But to say, you know, white people are systemically racist and destroying America in 2020, it's tough.
It's getting tougher and tougher to swallow.
But I agree with you where I'm like, hey, if this person had, you know, things go on, fine, but we're all walking bags of chemicals.
Dude, I have billions and billions of neurons in my head having different chemical reactions than you every second of the day.
So I may see things a little different than you, but it doesn't mean we're bad people if we're leading with love.
If you got to lead with love.
And also, you just look at the word slave.
It comes from the word Slav.
It was when the Ottomans were enslaving people of the Caucasus and in Slav, they were white.
And even to this day right now, there's Saudi Arabia still listening.
They're the most enslaved people ever existed in Dubai now.
I mean, Abu, what's it called?
Ali Dali?
What's the problem?
Abu Daws.
The problem with Abu.
Dubai was built.
Yeah, Doobie Bobby.
Doobie Bobby was built by South Asian quote-unquote slaves.
I mean, they were indentured servants.
It was slavery by Arab fucking Israeli.
I'm amazed we did that well there because we also went to Trinidad and you see how we built that shit.
That is shoddy work, bro.
You guys.
But I'm sure you spoke about this on, I'm sure you've spoken about this on Flagrant 2 before, where, you know, racism, it's monetized now.
There is no incentive at all for news networks to get rid of racism.
They would lose money.
They have to keep it alive.
They have to look for every story that might have the slightest hint of racism in it.
Because if they don't, who's going to they people hate watch more than anything.
They need to be talking about a lot.
I think this, maybe not that thing specifically, but 24-hour news is dangerous.
Sure.
Because you need to constantly feed a beast.
Sure.
Like, motherfucker, who's watching news for 24 hours a day?
3 a.m. You got news on?
We need something that makes you stick to that channel in front of the TV.
Back in the day when it's 30 minutes.
Hey, this guy got murdered.
That guy got murdered.
Like local politics.
All right, done.
Even now, and I don't know what the story is, so I may be speaking prematurely, but there's a boy who just died in Louisiana and it's horrible and he was found in a river.
And I think his face was like, it looks a little bit like Emmett Teal.
And they have it.
So Emmett Teal, of course, was a racist, horrible thing that happened where the people got away, and that's brutal.
And I would never stand for that.
But this boy, nobody knows what happened to him.
Nobody knows how it happened yet.
There's no, the police are still investigating.
They don't know.
But yet already the narrative is: look how much he looks like Emmett Teal, which is fueling people to be like racism.
Somebody did that, somebody did that.
When none of that stuff is true yet, but it's already getting in people's minds for him.
Why?
Because he looked like Emmett Teal, they put it up and because they're trying to have this subconscious racial narrative going on and a divide to jump up their numbers on the media.
That's what I believe.
Yeah, I mean, there's racism.
I mean, of course there is.
Blackness is racism.
I think actually skepticism you can have when you see some shit like that, where you are reminded and you're like, okay, I want to see what the fuck is going on because I think I know how this looks.
Yeah.
And there's a difference between that.
There's a gray space between that and this is automatically racist.
I don't need the facts.
Fuck it.
I also understand the skepticism because cops have covered up so much for the past 200 years that they're like, I'm not going to believe this shit.
You know what I think the problem is, dude?
It's dangerous when you just jump to that conclusion and then you go.
I think the problem is like when news became content and when journalists got tired and they were trying to get followers and stuff like that, they didn't really adapt to the internet and they started using the same model, that advertiser model where we got to get clicks to get paid.
And so as soon as news stopped being subscription-based news and started being like more.
It's a talk show now.
Yeah, it's a talk show.
And like I worked my show.
I had to share.
And why is Jerry the number one?
Why was Jerry Springer the number one talk show in the 90s?
Controversy, fights.
Fights.
Yeah.
Fights.
I mean, Jerry.
Yeah.
Jerry.
It's car crashes.
Even Schultz, even Schultz's YouTube numbers, when they were big jumping, a lot, if you looked at the comments, a lot of it was fighting in between about stances he was taking.
If you got people fighting in the comments, that's the key of the algorithm.
Yeah, fuck you, tech companies, and then you lecture us about morality when you've set the fucking algorithm up for people to fight.
Go fuck yourself.
You do the same thing that cable news does.
You've turned us all into fucking rubberneckers that are pulling over to look at a car crash on the side of the fucking road.
Go fuck yourself, Silicon Valley, you pieces of fucking dog shit.
From the East Coast with love, bitch.
Recount the vote.
You know, I had a show on Fusion, which was owned by ABC News, and it was a news show.
Yeah.
It was like we were trying to be like a millennial Good Morning in America.
How happy are you that you're done with that shit?
I want to know what that is.
That sounded so miserable.
Oh, it was broad.
You went to a couple increments to come back to me.
Cause, but let's be honest, you were living in Miami, you were skinny mean, and you had some pieces passing through.
I had a couple of pieces passing through the apartment.
I had floor-to-ceiling windows.
Every month you stay in Miami, one more button comes down.
That's what it is.
You are a skinny fucking mini.
You can tell how long somebody starts.
You can tell how long somebody's been in Miami by how many, every month of buttons comes down.
But here's the thing: this was their motto.
I'm pulling the curtain back a little bit so people know this is the truth.
The truth is, ABC News, best in the business.
Good morning, America.
Kelly and Michael, whoever's sitting with her now, you know, the motto really is pick a fight.
Pick a fight.
That's what gets the most attention.
That's what gets rating.
That's what they would tell us.
Pick a fight.
So that's what they're doing.
That's what they're doing.
They're picking fights.
So the problem is, you know, people see that and somehow something happened around 2012 where people started to think that it was real, that like, that like Ann Coulter really cares.
It's fucking theater.
You sit, Ann Coulter came to the stand and was laughing at fucking Joe.
I mean, it's theater.
And then she goes and writes a fucking thing and says, we're losing this country.
There's fucking Mexicans crawling in my soup.
No, there's not.
Probably both sides do this, but the biggest mistake I see the left make with this kind of shit is they always feel that fire.
I didn't know who Tommy Laron was until she was a piece and wanted to fuck her.
I would clean her out.
Oh my God.
My wife doesn't watch Flagrant 2, right?
I mean, she's a fucking piece.
She's got no fumes, no fucking faith.
If she's got a hot husband, I'm in.
You know what else too?
Social media, obviously, we know this, but it's almost like now, people, I think maybe in years from now, we may see this in a grander scale.
But I genuinely believe, like Russian bots, and you cannot count them out, that they might be fueling a healthy majority of the actual race baiting going on in the country.
I saw somebody get a black guy, I think it was Stanley from the office, the man who played Stanley from the office.
He posted DMs that he got that were racist saying the N-word and horrible things, right?
And he posted, this is the type of stuff I live with, and all those things.
And then all the comments, race, race, race.
I wouldn't put it past Russia that they created some bot to send those messages.
I know that people do do that.
I know there's disgusting racist people and all that.
I know that.
But because of how easy it is to manipulate that algorithm and how easy it is for the Russians to make these bots to fuel racism and divide us from...
Well, you can tell when you get hate fake comments because it's always the first name and then 10 numbers.
Yeah, I wouldn't discredit them at all.
But some of them look like so real where I'm like, unless it's, I've made a choice as a human being, unless I physically see it happen in my actual physical realm.
If I see it on the news or on Twitter or Instagram, I just, I discard it.
I don't let it get into my system because I'm like, you just can't tell what's been manipulated, who's telling the truth, who's not.
There's too much of it.
So I try to make my life small.
If I see something that's horrible, I try to act on it there.
Or if I see something catch my attention, I act on it there.
I'm not worried about what's going on all over the world because too much of our data is manipulated.
And I just think it's too risky now.
It's a total Enron Bernie Madoff pyramid scheme where the tech companies inflate engagement by allowing these bots and these fake accounts to increase engagement.
They're drug dealers.
To increase.
100%.
To increase engagement so they can tell their shareholders and their public owners, look at how many users are on here.
When really there's about a fraction of those users that are real and the rest of them are just digital bots or fake accounts that are there to sew Discord.
And they look the other way with that because they profit off that.
And then if you say a certain thing, they fucking flag you.
So it's like, just like a sociopath who pretends to be the opposite of what he is to cajole you, that's exactly what the tech companies are doing.
That's exactly what social justice warriors do.
They're hiding and obfuscating the fact that they're shit people and they're all about themselves by putting up this scropes, this smokescreen saying, I am here for all victims because nobody questions you if you say, hey, donate to this charity.
If you retweet a charity that says donate to this charity, I'm a good person.
Or if you point out somebody else's flaws, nobody's going to question you because they're looking at the person.
It's a fucking tactic.
Tech Companies Acting Like Sociopaths00:11:11
It's transparent.
And we should be onto it now, especially since that kid Tristan is now talking to the media.
Yeah, it's what it is.
He's pulling the curtain back on the wizard of Washington and the Wizard of Oz, a little Chinese kid that works at TikTok that's trying to destroy us.
They named it TikTok because they know the end is near.
They know America is almost over and they're just sitting there going TikTok potatoes.
Saying it in Chinese.
That's fucking that piece of shit fucking app is full of pedophiles and devil worshipers.
That little Chinese kid whoever made TikTok in the same Petri dish, they made TikTok to Wuhan Weezer and Yao Mingt.
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And also, before we get back to the show, I got a couple more shows to announce.
First of all, thank you to everybody who came out in Atlantic City.
We had so much fun.
Everybody was responsible.
Everybody was distanced properly.
Great audience.
Y'all are what a quarantine audience should be.
And I have one more show in December.
As long as we're all good and it's healthy to do the show, we will proceed.
If it's not, we won't.
But December 12th and 13th, I'm going to be at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island.
Guys, go to akashsing.com for tickets.
Hurry up, buy the tickets.
You'll get your money back.
If it's not safe, we will take care of you.
Come have some fun.
Now, let's get back to the show.
Have you fucking perused TikTok?
Yeah, I cut.
Yes, yes.
You got that perused.
No, no, I'm kidding.
No, you just got on TikTok.
You had to get a new fucking screen protector.
It's like 12-year-old girls.
Sotten out and kids with fucking face tattoos.
America is over.
The fucking show's over, baby.
Learn Chinese, and that's what it is.
It's what it is.
It's au voir.
What can you do?
Understand nobody cares about you.
The quicker you realize that anybody from Sean King to Governor Cuomo to President Trump to Barack Obama, none of them care.
They just want you to buy their books.
That's right.
All right, that's a perfect way to end that segment.
All right.
You see Trump's tweet talking about the fucking, talking about Twitter.
The only guy who really does Twitter, right, to be honest with you, is Donald Trump.
This guy's the greatest.
So you guys heard about the Moderna vaccine?
Do you believe?
Yeah, that's 95% and the other one, Fisher's 90%.
All right.
Al actually suggested we buy stocks in other vaccine companies.
I would do that.
And I was looking at AstraZeneca like a fucking retard, and then Moderna came.
Who's Moderna owned by?
I'm only doing things from Indians.
Is this Indian-owned?
We probably have a CEO of this Indian.
We don't be owning them, but we'd be CEOs like a motherfucker.
Okay.
You guys are really good at stock trading.
You guys crush that shit sitting all day.
Crush America because the best Indians, the smartest Indians come to America because it's the hardest country to get into when there's the most opportunity.
So I went to England and did some shows with a bunch of Indians and I couldn't understand why they couldn't understand my jokes.
And I was like, oh, you're the ones that were too dumb to come to America.
So we got a lot of dumb Indians too, I realized, sadly.
It's just all the smart ones are here.
So you grow up thinking we're the smartest people.
No, the geniuses are here.
Yeah.
I mean, we're, I mean, yeah, I mean, you're here.
I mean, you're not fucking, you're not doing, you're not doing math or science.
You're sitting here with fucking people.
Fucking kids making more money than all these kids.
Yeah, but we're dumb.
I mean, I'm just saying like one slip through.
You.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
The dumb one still made more than 100%.
Kamala and Johnny's on steroids.
You know, it's funny too.
It's not just the Indians.
He's totally a fucking.
I mean, that kid got juiced up.
That kid found the Guido's.
Who's your juice dealer?
Yeah.
You know what?
Nigerians.
It's unnecessary.
Nigerians.
I don't even understand.
Where'd it come from?
Why was it said?
It's clearly just a thing you've been harboring.
We're talking about Indian kids.
He's jacked.
He got kids.
He's jacked and I eat too many carbs.
Yo, do you know Nigerians also outperform white people in America?
Nigerians are great, though.
They outperform all white people.
Yeah.
So it's like the only thing they're worse at is scamming.
Their scams are married.
Like, what you getting a fucking couple thousand for a fake pool table?
Get out of here, gross.
But you know what?
Those first, that first round of Nigerian prince scams worked.
It did work.
Yeah.
A couple of grannies got hit.
A couple of grannies got hit hard.
Sending send their money to the royalty in some made-up African country.
Okay.
Here we go.
Alex, can you read this Trump tweet?
No, so Trump was just announcing that Moderna has another vaccine.
But did you see when he said they're not sending it to New York?
Right.
Because of Cuomo.
Yeah.
Like this is the president of the United States.
Here's the truth, though, Donnie T. If you don't send it to New York, I'll take my fucking car and drive to New Jersey.
And I'll just get it in Jersey.
He acted like we ain't right there.
Yeah.
No way.
I'm in Jersey.
It's right there.
Give me an hour to drive in with traffic.
I'm good.
Yeah, I'll go to Jersey.
I'll go to PA.
I'll get it, cuz.
So, Donnie T, you're going to give it to New York.
We have to close.
We got to close these gates out.
Can you imagine New Jersey started closing the borders?
How case could you be?
Oh, my God.
If the border, if you were on the wrong side of the border wall for one day, here's the thing about New Jersey, though, if they decided to do that, everybody would have a guy that could get you through the border.
Because New Jersey are fucking greasy dirtbags.
That's true.
If you just got cash, cuz if you got cash, you could do anything in Jersey.
Yeah, there's no way they could shut down the Verrazano.
I mean, the Verizados can't.
From Bay Ridge, you can fucking swim.
You can swim to Staten Island, which is basically the way you get to Jersey.
Yeah, because it's what it is.
I mean, I think that there's no way that it's going to happen.
I do think.
See, here's the thing, though, too.
Here's what it is.
We're down the middle guys.
It's like, I think Cuomo is as big of an idiot as Trump.
I think they're both equally disturbingly bad for our country, just in different ways.
What a Cuomo do that you don't like?
I mean, peddling a book in the middle of a pandemic where his choices killed thousands of elderly people.
Here's the difference, though, between him and Trump.
Yeah.
I mean, he's more of a politician about it, but he's still gross.
But let's be honest: here's the difference: Trump's a wasp, right?
So Trump could do a lot of things I hate.
And if Trump invited me over for dinner, he's not going to change my mind about me not liking him.
But Cuomo, I could hate the guy if he invites me over on a Sunday and he makes a good sauce with really Sunday dinner.
Yeah, with fresh tomatoes.
Yeah.
If Brock comes up with some fresh regote, I'll take back everything I ever said.
It just could change the whole thing if he comes over and the kid makes a mean lasagna or spaghetti.
It's awesome.
I mean, I'd like to punch his brother right in the face, though.
I mean, are you jealous of that body?
Are you seeing Andrew Cuomo's body?
Chris the Devil one the fucking motherfucker got the body out of Chris Cuomo your fucking hero for getting corona and crawling out of your basement like Ann Frank and walking into your multi-million dollar Hamptons house you're so brave you are so Brave.
Are you mad because he looks like Miami Yannis?
No, I just was mad.
I didn't get this.
He does, yeah.
He's a joint.
Yo, let me ask you a question.
Do you think when white people walk into an Indian restaurant, the waiter just shouts at the chef, chicken tikka masala?
Yo, that's so funny.
I had an Indian friend that told me that was his favorite meal, and I couldn't respect him ever again.
Yeah.
I was like, you ain't Indian.
You get the fuck out of here.
I've never in my life had Indian food.
You know, it's not Indian.
You've never in your life had Indian food?
Never, not once in my life.
But I would like to do it, though.
No, don't bother.
Really?
That's so good.
Yeah, but I don't, I hate being a horrible ambassador.
I hate being that guy.
I hate bridging gaps.
You guys over there.
I'm good over here.
We eat what we eat.
We'll go to your shitty way if you want.
You can come, but I don't know.
I only eat food that you could put on pizza.
You know what I mean?
I just want pizza.
And Yannis says, Yannis coined me.
I only eat food that's on the other side of a menu in a pizzeria.
Yeah, that's a little bit of a piece of money portolinis.
Yeah.
You know, like chicken rolls.
He thinks we're in a restaurant.
When we go to a pizza shop, he has to see the menu.
That's how fucking trashy this kid is from Ridgewood.
He walks in, he sits down.
He says, can I see your menu, please?
And what are the specials?
And the guy goes, what are you talking about?
The slices are right there.
He says, no, I want the other side.
I want to call zone.
Oh, I'm here for the pasta.
I'm here for the specials.
That's the nice of fine dining.
I take Yanni to Joe and John's Pizzeria in Ridgewood.
Yeah, we went to a fucking 99-cent pizza store and a kid asked if he could have linguini with clamps.
It's what it is.
It's fucking burrow trash.
The Indian guy behind it, no, no, no.
No credit.
Because Indian kids love making pizza for 99 cents.
They do.
Because we love value, yo.
It's actually pretty good pizza.
It is.
It's decent.
We'd be owning them in 1950.
People are awesome.
Hot women.
I like a chunky Indian woman.
And underrated.
You know, you told me that the torch we met very into chunky Indian woman.
Yeah.
So if you're out there.
Yeah.
And Kama Sutra's underrated.
I feel like you're going to just blow the fuck up.
Dude, what is up with Kama Sutra is like martial arts.
It's like fucking Brazilian jiu-jitsu fucking people.
I mean, open it up.
It's mad hard.
Them positions are mad impossible.
Yeah, but you got to earn your belt.
They had nothing to do back then except yoga.
They didn't have Bill Smith.
They didn't have shit to do, right?
They were just doing stretches.
They could do all this crazy shit.
It's the martial arts of fucking, though.
Yeah, really.
Does Karma Sutra, is it fertility based on that?
Karma Sutra is very funny.
Oh, I put an R in there.
Karma?
Keep it.
Credit Karma Sutra.
Kamal Sutra.
Keep it that way.
I like it.
Does it lead to fertility?
Is it higher fertility too?
Is that what it's about?
Orgasms.
Multiple.
Okay.
That's nothing to do with having children.
Also, there's a billion of us, so probably.
You know what I mean?
We out there fucking.
Dude, who is some more people in India or China?
Who's number one in population in India?
We're number one.
We've been number one.
They out there chopped like babies like that.
That's like the fucking Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer of making too many people.
If you ain't making iPhones in China, you could go as a kid.
We'll get rid of you.
If you're making iPhones, we got a net there.
We'll throw you back in the machine.
Do you hold hand with guys when you go to India?
I don't, but I seen it.
Yeah.
I seen it.
That's some fucking manly shit to do over there.
Are you allowed to wear socks in India or it's all open-to-euro sandals all day every day?
No.
No, if it's cold, you're wearing socks in the house.
It gets cold.
We just don't have heat or insulation in the house, typically.
So it's just cold as fuck.
Because how wobbles in India, if we walk down the street and we're not holding hands, they look at us like we're gay.
It's what it is.
Yeah, I know.
I love it.
But that's the thing.
Every culture's so different.
I like it.
I want to go to India.
How come you haven't had an Indian?
How do you jump from I've never had Indian food to I want to go to India?
I legit want to because what he's doing.
100%.
No.
The last thing this kid wants to do is gun is not that guy.
I'd like to have a layover in India.
Hey, let me tell you something.
When you're on layover, don't eat the food.
No.
Don't drink the water.
No, I'm being dead serious.
Once my daughter is like maybe 11, 12 years old, I want to, if I'm hopefully in a financial place.
Show her people poor than Puerto Rican.
Yes, I want to get her out of.
You know, because I took her, you know, her mother, her mother, you know, is Puerto Rican from Sunset Park.
And, you know, I mean, she never really saw the world.
I mean, the first time I took her to Preda Manger, she thought we were in Paris.
Why Liberals Want To Cancel You00:09:57
You know?
Holy shit!
That shit!
Take up that gap.
Y'all dust it.
Is that the alpha towel over there in Bay Ridge?
I said, no, it's just Prenda Manger on Seventh Day.
Because when she grew up in Sunset Park, was she looking at like two shiny cities on a hill with Park Slope and Bay Ridge?
Yeah.
She was like, one day that's one of them.
One day I'm going to make it.
I'm telling you, if I just keep, I'm going to find me somebody classy.
I'm just going to go to those balls and pretend to be interested in Dave Matthews and then dust it.
I got him.
That's right.
That's what it is.
So I want my daughter, you know, because, or my whole family, go out there.
So if I would love to take them to India, China, do all that stuff.
Yeah.
You know, in a few years.
So if I go shopping for your family, should I just go to Mandy's?
Yeah, just go to Michael.
Because if you come in with an outfit from Mandy's, that's what it is.
What about Rainbow?
Ain't Rainbow the Browning?
I got you, baby, some sketcher sneakers that light up.
Is that going to work?
That's all it is.
That's what we need.
Yeah.
Rainbow and Queen Helene hair gel.
Do you think maybe we could help Puerto Rico if we just sent them a bunch of sketchers to give the lights and their shoes?
The baby's outfit for it.
They got electricity now.
They love it.
You get enough light up shoes.
You can see.
Because, yeah.
And you know what?
A lot of Puerto Ricans voted Trump.
That's just the cold hard truth.
Yeah.
A lot of Puerto Ricanos I know, at least in New York, voted Donnie T.
A lot of people are trying to play that off like it's not a big deal, but we're talking about that.
I don't think that's true.
No, it's not.
I'm telling you, I think I, well, not a lot.
Definitely majority voted Biden, but I would say a higher percentage.
Growing percentage.
More people voted for Trump.
More Puerto Ricans voted for Trump this time than last time.
Every group we're talking like from like 5%.
Yeah, saying.
50%.
I mean, it's that low because Hispanic is 37.
32%.
That's why Trump won Florida is because in Miami days, Cubans flipped over to Trump.
Cubans are conservative, kids.
Cubans would vote for fucking, yeah.
If you got a business, they'll vote for you.
Yeah, that's the thing.
As soon as you say the word socialism, they just are traumatized by Castro.
100%.
Of course.
Which I understand.
Yeah.
That's what makes sense.
You can't fucking split a check with a Cuban.
You ever try to sit down and say, hey, we should all just split this?
They're like, fuck you.
You had six fries.
I had five.
I come from a communist country.
I'm paying for mine.
You pay for yours.
And then they just pull a gun out of you and say, get away from me, you commie bastard.
Yeah.
These are, don't touch my empanadas.
Yeah, don't touch my fucking traumatized.
All right.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so, so, I mean, you know, to each their own.
That's what I'm all about.
But the number the numbers went up, though.
For Trump?
For Trump, I think, what is it?
If we Google it, it's like the black people.
Everybody went up except white people.
Black went to like 80%.
I think white men take a lot of money.
More black people voted for Trump than any Republican since like they since Nixon or something.
Since they flipped.
Why is that?
Why'd you vote for Trump?
Let us know.
I didn't vote.
Just give us some insight on it.
Tesla.
Yeah.
If you got money, you're going to teach.
How funny was that when 50 Cent finally saw what the tax was going to be if he made 400 over?
He was like, that's what flip Al's vote.
Al was going to vote for Biden and then he saw what 50 Cent to eat.
How many people you think are liberal for the Graham and then in private, oh my God, I'm trying to tell you.
Fiscally conservative.
Yeah, you want to pretend because all the people that buy your shit would benefit the most if Bernie comes into power.
So on the Graham, you say we need this, but then you get in your accountant's office and you're like, how do we hide all this fucking money from the government?
Punch, if I hired Edward Snowden to get into Sean King's laptop, I bet you voted Trump because he makes money.
This is what I was going to say.
If you think electing a liberal is not going to benefit you tax-wise, a Democrat at least, you're fine.
They're going to have so many loopholes for rich people and people to vote for them.
I think no matter who's in office, like I'm going to get taxed more because of Biden.
But I was like, I don't, I guarantee you.
Because be honest, we saw your Patreon.
You guys are rich.
Hey, you know, number one.
One time white Patreon in the world, you know what I mean?
Not trying to flex too hard, but number one, you know what I'm saying?
Y'all there, though.
Y'all catching up.
Y'all made steady progress on your Patreon.
Yeah, we keep going up.
We're not here because we love you guys.
I mean, we do, but we're here because, you know, we're trying to steal a few more black kids to come to our Patreon.
It's what it is.
No.
No, well, Patreon, much like yours, well, you guys do it even more on your just public podcasts, but like we just, it's completely uncensored.
We're just going wild, but it's all comedy first.
Like we don't, everything that we do as comedians is just with the intention of the joke first.
Like we don't take any stances without a joke.
Do you do you realize how what kind of trouble our society's in when people are like screaming at comics?
Like we're in trouble.
That was like the first sign that like we're in deep trouble.
And now you can see it's kind of come to fruition how backwards everything is.
I mean, you're screaming at comics for what they say.
You know, people don't understand.
This is a big adjustment I've had to make.
And they're kind of finally seeing my point of view.
People, like, as I get older, my family, conservative Indian family, in-laws, whatever.
It's like, funny is the value.
I value funny more than almost anything.
Not everything.
You're more important, but funny is really fucking high on my list of values.
So I weigh what's funnier.
That's probably the stance I'm going to take.
The funny is my value, not the value.
Not pro-life, pro-choice.
I literally look at issues and I'm like, what's the funnier thing?
That's what I'll say publicly.
And then privately, I vote how I vote.
But we can separate, like the government separates church and state.
We separate funny from emotions and values.
Yeah, funny is the thing that matters.
I blame Hillary.
I think cancel culture started with Hillary.
That's where we all started.
That's when this whole pretend thing started.
We all had to pretend like she was a strong, self-made woman.
No, you never did.
Pretend like she wasn't a piece of shit.
Like, you know, she was accomplished.
And she was the wife of fucking Bill Clinton.
And that's how we learned her name.
And her Medicare fucking, she tried to get Medicare.
She tried to do what Obama did.
She failed.
She failed at fucking everything.
She's stuck in Syria.
She sneaks.
And then we were all, and then everyone started celebrating her.
So that's where we all, that's where the pretend started.
And then we had to pretend that women made less than men because of something other than their choices.
We had to pretend that comedians were fucking Nazis.
That's where the world started.
It's all Hillary's fault.
Lock her up.
Yeah.
Yeah, you were supposed to enjoy that channel.
He left him hanging.
I know.
He laughs at all the racist shit you say.
No, I want.
Why?
He just couldn't believe I was doing it.
Yeah.
He was like, oh, boy.
He was just so happy on the inside.
You guys so happy.
He's like, that's one that could get clipped and I won't get in trouble for it.
I think it started before that, though.
And we talked about this a bit.
I moved here in 08 for comedy from LA, which is also liberal.
But I was shocked here.
Like, I would do like these open mics or whatever.
And if I brought up race, the comics would get uncomfortable.
And I was like, what is happening?
I think the PC culture started here the second I moved here.
I saw in 2008.
I think it's been a bewilder thing.
2008.
And then it kind of infected both sides where Republicans want to cancel you for shit.
Liberals want to cancel you for shit.
Everybody's taking screenshots of everything you said.
Comics want to cancel comics now.
Now it's like, if you're a comic, you used to be worried, oh, I'd get canceled by a network.
Now you'll get canceled by your peers.
Yeah, we just fucking had this.
I mean, it was crazy, dude.
So we posted that unnoticed sketch, and then some kid that was in his promo I hired to do my promo for my special on Comedy Central size 38 Waste started calling us dumb motherfuckers and going at us.
It was crazy.
I mean, he was in the sketch and he goes, Chris DeStefano is the dumbest motherfucker I ever met.
And I just want to call him and be like, hey, bro, you know how easy it is to see that you're just upset because you're broke.
You just, you're broke.
Yeah.
You're bitter because you're broke.
I mean, is Chris DeStefano the kid who's got a doctorate in physical therapy and who's doing really good in comedy?
Is he really the dumbest motherfucker you ever met?
Yeah.
Or are you just upset because the alt scene crumbled and you're just the ship went down and you got a life vest on and you're just bobbing in the water all pissing.
Can you see how somebody would think Chris is the dumbest motherfucker?
Yeah, absolutely.
He texts, he texts, I got cast, I got cast.
He retweets the AOC sketch, which thank you, by the way.
Thank you for the views.
He goes, I got cast at hipster number one in the opening sketch of this guy's Comedy Central stand-up special and he's maybe one of the dumbest motherfuckers I've ever met in my life.
Then he goes, probably the other dumbest asshole I've ever met is this guy, Giannis.
Then he goes, these were the hipster jokes in the script they wrote in the year 2018 and he shows the script and he goes, but then they decided to go off script and improv lines like, I bet you cried about Kavanaugh and I can't tell which one is the boy.
Funny girl.
Funny.
Yeah, funny.
We were ripping these fucking idiots.
By the way, he's so fucking stupid.
Yeah.
The script that he posted was actually what Comedy Central wrote.
Yeah.
So he just cost himself a job fucking delivering mail for Comedy Central.
Hey, listen to her.
Listen to me, her, or they're not this guy.
Comedy Central doesn't have jobs like that, so he's fine.
Don't worry about it.
But to Yannis's point, it's like there's a lot of angry people because Yanni understands something too.
What something that I, you know, think is like, yes, Trump is extremely, there's being an elite, and that's entitlement, and elitism is entitlement to her, but so is being a victim.
Being a victim is also entitlement.
You're hijacking.
This kid's victimhood is entitlement.
Did we really do anything to you?
I mean, the kids did something to him.
We call it cloutivism, where it's like, you're an activist for clout.
You're a cloutivist.
So I, but also, I'm starting to realize as we go further into this, we're kind of winning this battle.
So, like, I don't want to even give this kid the energy anymore.
No, I don't do it.
If you're offended, there's people in our comments offended all the time.
Okay.
You're a small percentage of it.
Yeah, I tweeted it.
You're not as worth my energy.
I still get insecure, but you're not as worth my energy.
Dude, now I'm going to start engaging in all of them once I learned that the algorithm is all about.
Yeah, it's all about hate and people arguing with each other.
I'm arguing with everybody.
I tweeted back to this kid.
I tweeted back to this kid you're on notice, and then I muted him.
I just gave him a piece of my mind because I care about truth.
No, I have a mental illness.
I got him on the podcast.
Yeah, I invited him on the podcast.
I have a mental illness.
So when you see me fucking on Twitter, I'm not fighting for anything except my mental illness.
I am mentally ill.
I can't handle Yannis' tweets, y'all.
Because every single day of my life when I'm with Giannis, my only goal for the day is somehow try to secretly get his lithium into the air conditioner vest so it calms down.
That's what I try to do: I just try to squirt a little lithium in there.
Yeah.
Yannis, pull that mic a little bit closer before you leave.
He's getting Alzheimer's is Yanni's.
Yanni Biden is a kid.
He's Yanni onset early onsets.
We call him Yanni Biden.
I mean, the kid is getting old fast.
Fighting For My Mental Illness00:07:31
He's 45 years old with a fucking newborn.
I mean, when his daughter's going to be going out of diapers and he's going to be going into them.
I mean, cuz just save the diapers because you're going to need them.
Yeah.
Old, fat, fat, fat.
Fuck.
Yeah.
I don't have to worry about defending my daughter at all because if a fight happens, it's like nobody's going to hit me.
Yeah.
I mean, it's going to be like, we're not going to hit your granddad.
You're a grandpa with glasses.
I'm her dad and her granddad at the same time.
Same damn time.
Yeah.
What it is.
It's what's going on.
It's what it is.
It's what's going on.
He's Yanni Biden.
Yeah.
What's your favorite Indian dish?
You go with Sag?
I love Sag when it's made up.
Lamb teacups.
Because I'm a fog for Sag.
Yeah.
Because can we make content where we go to an Indian restaurant and we watch you pretend to not want to crawl out of your skin to eat it?
No, let's do a thing where we go to Indian restaurants and then we have a timer on and we see how long it takes me to before I pull out a fucking bottle of grated parmesan cheese and start putting on everything.
Yo, you're going to look at it.
I had a black homie, shout out to Rel Battle, text me after the first time he had Indian food and he said, I couldn't eat it for a long time because it shit looked like vomit.
I can't even front.
And then he said it tasted great, but I was like, you know what?
I get it.
I get where you're coming from.
I don't, I'm down to try it.
I just never, you know, I was just raised at any time an Indian restaurant opens, you throw a Molotov cocktail to the window.
That's the way it was raised.
That's the neighborhood I grew up in.
Don't tell my scriptures.
That's his culture.
Don't discriminate anyway.
Don't discriminate.
No, I'm kidding.
I've just never eaten it.
I would love to try it.
I love that you have to say you're kidding.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I think I wasn't sure.
No, but the flagrant two fans are fucking, you know, right?
Yeah, forget it.
Flagrant sees on.
But I would say Indians, good Indian, like a good Indian, is up there, dude.
It's up there.
We're the greatest.
I mean, it's great cuisine.
What's number one?
Is Italian is number one?
Can we just admit that for Italian?
The Turks saying no.
What do you say?
You think Mediterranean is number one?
No, shut the fuck up.
Not better than Italian.
Not better than Italian.
What's so great about it?
It's a dry-ass chicken.
Everything you got to eat with fucking hummus.
If you don't say Italian, I'll shoot a silver bullet through your heart.
Italian.
It's a werewolf joke.
Sorry.
Italian is bombed.
Oh, I get it now.
Fucking bombed.
I get it.
I saw this.
What was it?
Nobody bet $1,000.
No, I sucked.
You're betting $9,99.
It's all good.
Yeah.
Italian food is the best.
It's just melted cheese and pasta.
Who don't like that?
Every dish.
Melted cheese.
I would say, no, I would say to you, my friend, my British friend, I would say Italians one.
Mediterranean is two.
I give Mediterranean two.
Yeah.
Mexican three.
What we do know is English food is way down on the list.
Which one?
English food is way down.
British food.
Yeah.
I mean, blood pudding.
What are you fucking vampire?
What are you guys doing?
Baked beans and toast?
Get the fuck out of here.
What am I?
Team Edward?
What the fuck are you?
I mean, is your fucking cookie based on whatever's left in the pantry?
We went to Germany.
When we went to Germany, it was a Zagat.
Fucking Zagat-rated.
Zagat.
Zagat!
You fucking Zagats!
Why don't we just start going Zagat?
That's what I said.
Oh, we say Agate.
We dropped the F.
Yeah.
So there's this Zagat-rated restaurant in Germany.
Remember, they gave us cut-up hot dogs.
I was like, what is this for my daughter?
Dude, we went to a, we were in Germany, prancing around like a couple of Zaggots.
I felt great in Germany.
Yeah, I was Zagat Heaven.
Yeah, we were just in Zagat Heaven.
We went to Austria.
We were freaking, we weren't holding hands because we're not India, but we're having a good time.
And we went to a Zaggot-rated restaurant.
They said this is a top Britain.
You know how trashy you guys are that you think like a Zagat rating is like a big fucking deal?
We are trading.
It's great mad restaurants.
It's not like a Michigan.
Have you been to Ridgewood Queen?
They're in a book with all the restaurants in the city.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm from Ridgewood because I think Chick-fil-Fila is Zagat rated.
I mean, he's fucking, he brought his passport to the Brooklyn Bridge the first time he went there.
How does that say?
How does it not?
It must be good.
It's on the Yelp.
Yeah.
It's got to be great.
So we went in there and we were like, what's the best thing on the menu?
They said, we'll bring it.
It was a hot dog with sauerkraut and applesauce that they put on the plate.
Literally, my daughter is in kindergarten and has this same lunch right now.
German food might be the worst thing.
German food is bad.
They're good at other things.
They're good at a few other things they're pretty good at.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Germans can do something else.
If you were at a restaurant, I would say have the Italians be the cooks and have the Germans be the cleaners.
Sorry.
I'm kidding.
I'm just joking.
Patreon.com/slash Payrich Boy.
Yeah, they definitely know how to keep it moving.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So how long has that table been waiting for you?
So you see what just went into oven?
If that table doesn't get its food, something else is going into Zaven.
Let me tell you something.
If you don't like that joke, but you like Borat, you're a fucking hypocrite.
You fucking hip hypocrite.
Yeah, fuck you.
You guys sound like fuck Trump.
You guys sound like too old.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch it, fucking Zagat.
You guys are becoming two old men on recliners just yelling at the TV.
Yeah, you know that.
You're becoming your grandfather's.
Every time you're on this show, you're more and more like your grandfather.
We're a couple of fucking Zagat reviews.
We're a couple of Zagat.
Because the truth is, yeah.
But then here's the thing with us: then we'll go on our own podcast and we'll go the total opposite way.
We're just in the middle.
We're chameleons.
No, no, I'm not talking about your view.
I'm just saying just the yellowing.
Oh, just a yelling yellow.
Just a yelling at everybody and anybody.
We're white.
We're white.
We have a lot of anger.
Our problem.
Sorry.
It's not about you.
It's us.
We'll work on it.
We'll work on it.
All right, guys.
Let's take a break.
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You know, what's funny with white is when your friend, I'm not even gonna get into it.
What?
Just do it.
Come on.
I mean, you know, it's fun.
It's like when your friend who's like a multi-millionaire, who's like, like, you know, and she's a minority and she tells you, she calls you like white.
She's like, that's because you're white.
Oh, yeah.
You know, no, I believe in American privilege superseding.
I believe other privilege exists, but if you're in America, you have some level of privilege.
Yeah.
And you can acknowledge that.
Yeah.
Like, I'm pretty lucky to be in this country.
Yeah.
Who sees skin more than let's be honest?
Who sees skin more than progressives?
They're always talking about it.
Whoop Fitness Tracker Discount00:03:53
Yeah.
It's like the I'm Jewish.
You know, when you meet a Jew and they always like throw in, like, they just let you know, like, by the way, I'm Jewish, you know?
Yeah.
It's like, it's like, well, I didn't ask.
You hear the disgust in Chris's voice?
Yeah.
Because it's just the transparency.
I just don't like people.
You just don't like knowing someone's voice.
Yeah, it's like, why are we?
No, not even.
No, I don't care about that.
I didn't even, I didn't.
You fucking got a ninety-five.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That's so good.
That's so good.
Holy fuck.
Oh, my God.
That's really nice and joke.
Holy fuck.
Patreon.com/slash Bayridge Boys.
Yeah.
Give me a second.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
I'm kidding.
Just kidding.
Yeah.
Chicago issue to stay at home, huh?
Yeah.
Did they really issue stay at home?
Well, there goes my shows in fucking Illinois.
I got my shows in Philly canceled.
And now those shows are still going to be.
I think it's like a request.
It's like a stay-at-home request.
You know, like, that's the thing.
That's conservatives.
They're always like, they don't believe anything.
You could show them facts and you could be like, hey, this virus is coming.
Like, fuck it.
That's not fucking virus.
You know, it's fucking, that's hell.
Change your forms.
I was trying to get it off.
He just right back.
But the voice is so funny.
Just run with it.
The voice is great.
Do it.
Yeah, no, I'm just saying that's the conservatives like they don't believe the virus is real still.
Their grandmother could be choking in front of them and saying, I can't breathe.
Like, fucking get out of here.
Get out of here.
You're a crisis corona.
That's a cold.
You got the flu.
People die of the flu.
It's the same shit.
He conceded now.
I concede.
No, he didn't.
Trump said he only wants.
Is this new?
He's not going to be able to do it.
Oh, no, because that's how voting works.
I lack evidence to support my claims and accusations.
So my followers will protest because they'll listen to my disputed claims before going research while I keep going to the golf course.
Whenever I lose, I say it's rigged.
I concede.
Oh, you got it even hacked.
This is fake.
He's either a fake tweeter or a hack.
Oh, it's Ad Donald.
How is he verified?
No, but I think that's probably fake.
That's a fake.
Yeah.
He's going to have to concede.
Even if he voted for him, he's going to have to concede and just do the right thing.
I don't think he's ever put it lost.
I just wish he would because it's like, look, for me, I'm an American first.
Like you said, the president's the president, and we just deal with that.
You got respect for the commander in chief and just move on.
I mean, Kamala won.
Just let it go.
You know how much anger he had this morning.
Kamala won.
Kamala Harris and Michelle Obama will be our president and vice president in about by March of 2021.
And that's whatever.
I like how we're supposed to pretend like Joe Biden wasn't a Trojan horse to get Kamala in there.
Yeah, he's on the runway.
He's almost dead.
Really?
He'd be looking vivacious, though.
When he ran down that fucking ramp.
He looked great.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't believe it.
What did they pump this guy full of before the speech?
About 2024, 2028, whenever AOC gets elected, then it's going to be Gulag time.
Then it's going to be breadlines.
Then just get ready.
Because then it's really over.
Don't worry about everyone worries about Biden.
No, no, no, no.
It's when AOC gets her fucking nut job.
She's got that thing that every crazy Latina woman I've ever dated has, where when you're looking at her, I'm pretty sure that's only about one crazy Latino woman.
I've been there.
I just did it an hour ago.
I know what we're doing.
I know what we're doing.
I fucking, she's got that thing.
My kids, all the girls, Latina women I dated have it.
When they're looking at you and talking to you, one of their eyes goes lazy for a second, then comes back, and AOC did it in a speech.
I saw one of her eyes drift and come back.
I said, there's your sign.
Jeff Foxworthy voice.
What does that mean when one eye goes?
I don't know, dude.
It's just something I've noticed in a lot of Puerto Rican women I've dated that it goes back and then next thing you know, the kitchen knife's out to your throat and you're giving her your phone.
I mean, because you got to start testing politicians.
Adolf Hitler.
He's 80 years old.
He's running down.
He's like, what are you on?
They were all on meth.
Yo, Biden might be on a little juice.
Yeah.
I mean, all the Nazis were high on crystal meth.
Politicians Should Get Tested Too00:12:56
Punzer chocolate.
Yeah.
Has never meth been around that long?
Yeah, they invented it.
They just caught it.
It's a long crack, dude.
It's white crack.
As a matter of fact, a lot, we did an episode about the Nazis being wild months ago, but a lot of the Nazi soldiers committed suicide after the war.
One, because of the side effects and after effects of being on Crystal Meth so long.
And two, their vision was so clouded and they were in such like a hyper-aggressive state, they couldn't believe what they did to these people.
Every single SS officer in the Holocaust camps, they all were pumping them with crystal meth.
They called it Punzer chocolate, which is like, so it was like a, you know, they called, they put in a little chocolate, but they were all fucking.
If you watch Hitler, his hands are always like this.
Yeah.
But with German chocolate, you get that coconut in it.
So you couldn't tell the difference between coconut and crystal meth.
It's sort of delicious ass coconut.
Germans make good chocolate.
They do.
Well, the Swiss.
Swiss.
They're German Swiss, right?
Germans are like weird because some of them speak French, some of them speak.
That's weird.
It's weird.
They have decent desserts and coffees.
You like.
I didn't even know what a Lincitar was until I met you.
Lincitar.
Shout out Rudy's Bakery, Ridgewood Queens.
But let me ask you a question.
Could I just take two vanilla cookies and put Welch grape, Welch grape jelly between them and squeeze them together?
And that's a Linzetart?
Yeah, I mean, I guess you fucking could.
Yeah.
Why the hell not?
Because that's what it is.
I don't know how to make a Linzetart.
Yeah.
I don't know, though.
Strudel's good too.
Apple Strudel's good.
Apple Strudel's good.
You guys are 65 years old.
You know what?
You know how fucking old you guys are right now?
Fucking Lincitar.
Not bad, huh?
Yeah, it's fucking jets.
Lindsay's good.
Yeah, the Giants are in time for first place.
They have three wins.
Yeah.
I'm a Cowboy fan, so it's the worst.
I mean, could you imagine being the I certainly, I think Stephen A. Smith said this: the NFC East is the worst division in sports history.
Yeah, it's probably true.
Easily football.
It's comical.
It's comical how bad they are that the Giants literally have three wins and are now like one game out of first.
Yeah.
Because the Eagles have a good time.
That happened for a while in basketball with the East.
Yeah.
It was like whoever they were sending to the playoffs.
It was like Lamb Smith.
They swabbed LeBron with the West was like the Harlem Globetrotters and the East was like the generals.
The generals.
We make fun of LeBron because he was in the East.
That's how he always went to the finals.
If he wasn't in the East, you know how bad those finals are?
Totally.
Oh my God.
Thank God for LeBron.
The fucking Celtics with a rookie, Jason Tatum, going up against the Warriors?
That's not even fun.
It's not even fair.
It's barely fun the other way.
He's not fun at all with these fucking dorks.
Brad Stevens coaching them.
Yeah, buddy.
Do you think the former teammate of LeBron fucked his mom?
Delante West?
I think it's pretty proven that he had sex with Delante.
Which is fine.
What happens?
Delante West struggles with bipolarity a lot.
Yeah.
So I think he could do some crazy shit and not really be a kind of a man.
And those dudes with bipolar, they get really charming when they're on a Manic episode.
And that's when you can really seduce someone's mom to fuck her when you come and you like really bring the heat.
So he probably, that's what he probably.
Probably banged out his mom.
I mean, what can you do?
I mean, you know, he's sometimes your mom.
Yes.
He deserves Mendi A dick.
Exactly.
100%.
I got no issue with that.
What's worse?
Banging a guy's wife for his mom.
I would say bang.
Well, in your case, I would say your mom because she's in a wheelchair.
Yeah.
So she doesn't know where double whammy.
But she doesn't know where she is, so no harm, no foul.
That's right.
That's good point, too.
That's a good point.
I'm almost as old as your mom, so maybe I could date her.
That's what it is.
Yeah, I'm kind of hoping for that.
Because imagine you were my fucking stepdad.
That would make things interestant.
That's what I call a banging podcast.
That would be a fucking banging podcast.
Me and my stepdad.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would definitely rather fuck one of your moms.
No, yeah, it would be, they wouldn't even remember how bad the dick was.
I'm fine.
Right.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
I get away scot-free.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I was a kid, when I was 15, my, like in my core group of friends, one of my friends' dad started dating my mom, and it was brutal being 15 years old.
And because the dad, it was funny.
Like, who cares?
But like the mom, like every time there's like a lull in the conversation, somebody'd be like, what do you think Brian's dad's doing?
And somebody else was like, bang Chris's mom.
And there were just fucking fist fights in the back of the garage when they were passing around the weed.
They got into so many fist fights because it was like, but I got it.
As I got older, it's like, it's a great joke.
Now, when Indians get divorced, do they get on the elephants and just go the opposite direction?
That's how we don't get divorced because it's too expensive to get the elephant in.
Yeah, you're right.
We're fucking fucking elephants and then we go away from each other.
That's why we don't get divorced.
I believe this.
The wedding is so expensive.
We're like, we're not throwing this.
You guys need a whole fucking zoo at your reception hall.
Son, it's two of the four Disney kingdoms in one hotel venue.
It's fucking Animal Kingdom outside.
It's Magic Kingdom inside.
It's just too much.
And then it's the dance around the fire, right?
It's a good show.
Yeah, it's a great show.
We don't dance with you.
Number one.
But it's still fire.
But there's still fire being lit on the floor.
Yeah.
It's pretty awesome.
We got to get this.
It's not even close.
What is a Greek wedding?
You break the glass, break a plate.
What did we do?
You were at it.
I was there.
I mean, the fucking.
Yeah.
You got to cut that part out.
Yeah.
She still has my sweatshirt.
Yo, Yannis's mom.
Give back Chris's sweatshirt.
How would you do that?
Schultz was at the wedding and he wore a Don Johnson Miami suit at a black tie event.
As soon as that's when I knew, that's when I knew the monster Andrew Schultz is going to become.
And I'm not talking about career-wise.
I'm talking about just a fucking monster emotionally.
It was a black, clearly on the invitation black and white affair.
Black and white affair.
That meant the blacks were sitting over there and the whites are sitting up there.
And he showed up, yeah, in a Don Johnson checkerboard suit.
I said, this kid's an animal.
We've lost him.
Someone needs to contain this fucking virus.
Yeah, yeah.
And then he contained this virus.
He looked beautiful.
He looked sexy and sleek.
And I was just like, God damn it, Andrew.
I'm in room 421.
The Greeks dance.
We do a lot of dancing.
We throw money.
Here's the thing a lot of people don't know.
Making it rain is a Greek thing.
Indians will do that too.
You guys throw money too.
What are the chances we get invited to Schultz's wedding?
You think high or low?
I think I'm going to go low because it's probably going to be like fucking lit lit.
Like it's going to be like, let's try to imagine Schultz's wedding.
First of all, I think it's taking place in Sweden at one of those ice hotels under the water.
Right?
Alex definitely's going to be working the wedding.
100%.
The wedding will be subtitled.
That's a guarantee.
I mean, there's going to be points where Akashi is going to be sitting down with, they're going to be like podcasting the wedding while 1000%.
It's going to be fucking litty-litty.
The rock's going to be there apparently now.
Mark Gagnon's going to be your bridesmaid.
Yeah, Mark Gagnon is going to fucking throw that Florida monkey in a suit.
Yeah.
I mean, what fucking Florida trash done good is that fucking kid?
Yeah.
And here's the thing.
He got off a fucking fishing boat and hit the lottery meeting Schultz.
Here's the thing is, as I guarantee you, Andrew.
I want that fucking kid to get me a grouper right now out of the water.
Here's the thing.
Much like what's going on in Florida and Georgia and where they're ripping up the votes, Andrew is going to put us on the list and his fiancé is going to rip that up.
She is not going to let us make a listen to a one-minute podcast and say, no, I'm not having these construction workers.
I think you guys are going to be at, I don't know if you'll be at the wedding.
I think I'll be at the wedding and not at the bachelor party and maybe you guys will get my invite.
Yeah.
Because I'll go to the bachelor party.
I will be no fun on the bachelor party.
I think he knows that.
So I think he's going to be like, don't come if you're going to ruin it.
And then he knows I'm going to go out.
Outside.
You should hide because your wife is a fucking for Rome.
Peace.
And if I catch her outside, I'm throwing her in my harem.
I'm fucking catching her.
I'm on the lookout.
I'm fucking getting one of my girls' towels, throw it on my head, and proposing.
I mean, your wife is a fucking stone-cold coke.
When she comes around, I fucking grab the piece guns and I just go cut.
Mama, other times, she would be official property of the British Empire.
I mean, because they would take her for love.
You're just not big enough to protect her, I'm sorry to say.
That's why I got a gun.
Get a weapon.
When you say we're gonna wear the gun, did you see me raise my finger?
I need that gun.
Me and Chrissy are trying to figure out where you live.
I need to get out of my weapon.
What's the deal with Indian guys?
Because you're, what, 30?
36, 36.
Yeah, 36.
So if you're not married by in Indian culture, if you're a guy and you're not married by 40, are you gay?
Is that what happens?
No, no.
If you're a girl, it's a problem.
If you're a girl, they kill you or what?
No, no, you just look mad pathetic.
Got it.
I wasn't sure the actual rules.
Like Giannis' wedding because it was a girl.
I didn't know if they discard the first one as a girl because they just have to have boys and boys.
I don't know the fucking rules.
He tried to send me a goat as a present.
I want to go as a girl.
Because you send a goat to the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Son, that's a great gift.
Yeah.
Imagine I got him an actual goat.
Yeah.
Oh, he would love that.
He would love it.
He has got the property.
Your proposal was fucking sweet.
No, it was beautiful.
Yeah.
Who cut that?
Alex isn't available for fucking proposals.
Yeah, kids are cutting real time.
Andrew is just cutthroat.
It's what it is, cuz.
That's how you get to the top.
It's how you get to the top.
Yeah, that's why we're going to stay right below the top.
Yeah, we're fucking, we're just customized kids.
Yeah, we're 55th floor of a hundred-story building.
Now you keep forgetting to put the mic close to your fingers.
Because I'm the most because he's got, you're a Zagot and he's early onset.
I told you he's Yanni Sundowns, which is Alzheimer's disease joke.
Yes.
Yanni Biden's.
I'm Greek, so I'm not gay.
But if you went to the game, literally the same thing just says right there.
I'm trying to get comfortable.
Alex has got it.
Don't worry.
Just lean it on.
All right, my bad.
I'm an asshole.
Yeah, I can put it on my gut.
Okay.
This is maternity weight.
Oh, Jamel Hill, yeah.
Oh, let's check in with her.
First tweet in the NFL Combine.
Oh, what's not slavery?
Somebody tweeted, what's not slavery, but feels like slavery to you.
Jamil Hill quote tweeted.
There we go.
The NFL Combine.
Reggie Bush responded, they're not ready for this conversation.
Oh, boy.
Here's the thing.
I would agree with you, Jamel, if they weren't multi-millionaires at the end.
That's the issue I have.
You can't say that, but then also give them millions of, have millions of dollars circulating through the list.
But it does, if you were to just wake up out of a coma, if you were to wake up out of a coma or if they reanimated like a kid from the 1800s brain or whatever, like Walt Disney came back to life, and you just showed them footage of the Columbine, you would just go like, oh, so the South won the war.
That's true.
Yes, that's true.
I've never defended a Jamil Hill.
I hope the people at home got how good a joke that was.
That was a good one.
And if you want to add it out, but Akash hates me, so he's not listening.
I laughed.
You talking about the Columbine.
You just became Jerry Seinfeld.
I left.
What happened?
I left.
I left.
Mario deal.
Comedy.
Okay, yeah.
Giannis is right.
I normally never defend Jamil Hill.
I find her, I think she does this a lot, whatever.
I see what she's saying here because the tweet is, it's not, but it kind of feels like it.
No, but feels like you're right.
She's acknowledging it's not at all.
But if you're watching the NFL Combine, they're getting paid millions of dollars, probably.
But it does feel odd when they're measuring fucking hand size and how broad of the shoulder.
That's a good point.
It's just, I don't want to see that part.
I'll watch them running the drills and shit.
That part's a little uncomfortable.
They're doing basically everything they used to do except for counting teeth.
Yeah.
You see one guy go counting teeth, and that's the only difference.
I mean, everything else is settled.
Like they're checking out your speed, your prowess.
It's like, I take back what I said.
Yeah, no, it's true.
It does.
It feels like you're right.
It's not what it feels like.
You're right.
But Milhill's right.
How somebody feels that way.
Yeah.
So I'm actually defending Jamil Hill on this tweet where normally I fucking hate the fake outrage.
With this one, I do think she might also be stirring shit to feed her followers, but I do get where she's coming from.
And normally I think her shit is so fucking annoying.
It's also like it's also kind of black people's fault for being so fucking good at football.
I mean, if there was, I mean, if there was more white guys, you'd be like, Jesus, this is a very woke slavery going on right there.
But I mean, it's just black people crush fucking football.
White people are always linemen or linebackers, and they're not even quarterbacks anymore.
Those are the two.
That's it.
No, you don't want a white quarterback anymore.
I mean, Lamar, I'd rather have Lamar Jackson over anybody.
Patty Mahomes, half white.
Patty Mahomes, yeah.
He's either a tight end.
There's always a tight end or fullback.
But there's a lot of guys that break the stereotype.
I mean, Edelman is fat.
Dude, the giant, what's his name?
The giant quarterback is fast.
Oh, Danny Jones.
Danny Jones can run.
Danny Jones.
I refuse to learn his name when the season record is like this.
It's still Eli to me.
I just call him Eli.
Yeah, just call him.
So we get a red.
Eli 2.0.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I agree.
But it's weird whenever it's a receiver, it's a white receiver.
You already know he's going in the slot.
He's going to be super quick, great route runner, or a fullback.
If you're white on offense and you're not a lineman, you're a fullback or you're a slot receiver.
You're never on the outside.
Right.
You're never some giant ass Calvin Johnson target.
Now, Indians, are there any Indian athletes at all anywhere?
Cricket.
We beef cricket.
Yeah, what's his name?
Sun Dukar.
What's the guy?
Such and Then Buker, we'll fucking kill you.
We'll fucking kill you at cricket.
The Pirates, the Pirates drafted two Indian kids.
They made a movie about it.
They were like throwing rocks like 100 miles an hour.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They were like Beckham girl.
The Bended like Beckham girl.
Bended like Beckham.
We killed that.
He killed that.
She went to college for soccer.
Has there ever been an Indian professional athlete?
There are some that almost made it to the NBA.
They play in like the NBA DL.
There's one right now, Sadnam Singh.
And then there's a couple of Bilar brothers who are fucking massive, just Punjabi freaks.
And that's it.
White Receivers Never Play Outside00:13:18
Who else do we know, F.A. You're saying yes?
This is one Silka player.
There's some tennis players.
Leander Paisley.
How come every time you talk, I feel like I'm listening to a tennis match.
Hey, go.
I can see what the book is.
What set is it?
Who's winning?
Why do I feel like I'm listening to fucking Wimbledon?
Yeah, I mean, no, the kid's just got, he's got a great British voice.
Yeah, I mean, they sound educated, but he's not when he says free.
I know he's trash from Liverpool.
But see, that's the thing, though, with you guys, is I, because you, because people a lot of times question, how did this little small island country like England take over the world?
Because of your voice.
Like, if you came into my land and you was like, oh, hello, we're just here to rape your women and children and take over your life for the next 300 years.
I would say, okay.
He seems charming.
Yeah, he sounds like they sound like they know what they're talking about.
You sound professional.
You sound professional.
If you came and be like, hey, look, we're going to do it.
We're going to do a little rearrangement.
I'd be like, this guy doesn't have organization skills.
Yeah, no, he doesn't know what I'm going to do.
I'll trust him.
He could be like, I want to give you all my money.
You know what I mean?
Let you build a bridge.
No.
He'd be like, get the fuck out of here.
I don't trust this union ass bridge you're going to build.
Yeah.
No, I'm fucking.
I'm going to follow Schultz, though.
Let's talk.
Like, what conqueror would you follow?
Because I know I would get derailed with, I would have a harem and I would get derailed.
I would have to get a little bit of a hair.
You get derailed.
Yeah, because you would just want to take the women in.
You wouldn't want to smell their feet.
I smell their feet.
Big time.
Yeah.
Schultz like feet.
Akash like Steve.
It's a foot podcast.
I would go under.
I would let Akash.
I would trust Akasha's role.
I would trust Akasha's.
I think Schultz, dangerous.
Here's the thing.
Here's what we know.
I'm going to hear further with Schultz.
I'm going to trust you.
I'm going to trust you.
I think because you're not a small guy, but all the good leaders are a little small, great leaders.
George Washington is the only one.
He wasn't really that great, though.
It's more of a myth.
You brought me, you woke me up to that.
I did bring you up to that.
I hate to talk about my own countrymen, but it is the truth.
He was kind of more of a myth.
Washington real quick.
Yeah, I mean, he wasn't that great.
So, Washington, what his peers said, you know, the Benjamin Franklin to Thomas Jefferson to Samuel Adams at the time said, what Washington's actual commander skills weren't that great.
He actually did a lot of things that cost American, that cost the Revolutionary War lives.
They lost battles because of his ineptitude and certain things on the battlefield.
What he was excellent at is doing, is seeing things as they were, not as he wishes they were.
So he would be able to retreat when the whole rally cry of the revolution was, no, advance, advance.
We're going to show the British how high and mighty we are.
He would say, you know, we're going to get crushed.
Let's retreat, save our soldiers.
Even if we look like little bitches, we'll win to fight the next day.
And that's what he was excellent at.
And that's eventually how they won.
But his actual military strategy was no bueno.
That's great, though.
That's a huge skill.
Right.
To be a realist.
No, but they're saying that's whereas Ulysses S. Grant.
No, he wasn't a realist is what he's saying.
George Washington didn't see things the way they were.
He saw them more how he wanted them to be.
No, no, Washington.
No, Washington, other generals at the time would just want to go because he would wish.
Washington would see things as they are and say, hey, we can't advance.
He saw them as they are.
Washington saw them as they are.
Washington said, we're going to lose, where his commanding generals would say, no, no, no, we can win.
He would say, no, no.
You used to tell me it was the opposite.
No, no, no.
I'm like, 100% of that.
No, he sees things as they are, not as he wishes they were.
And you used to call him Martha Washington.
I used to call him Martha Washington.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to grow my hair out like Martha Washington.
She had a nice head and tear.
Yeah, where, you know, fucking, what can you do though, babe?
I mean, everybody's flawed.
But you listen, you're measured.
You're kind of, I would trust you.
I would trust him.
And here's what's actually going to happen.
You'll never fuck anything.
You're going to get to this.
You won't fucking budge girls.
You got enough of a piece.
You're not looking for anything else.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
I'm reading a book right now called The 48 Laws of Power.
So watch out.
German kids should not be allowed to read the 48 Laws of Power.
And what Akash is.
What's law number one?
Akash is.
I forgot.
I got to reread a few pages.
But Akash, he's very good at luring.
He's very good at being kind of playing with the leader and saying, I'll do whatever you want, whatever it takes.
So he's dangling a fruit here, but the main goal is going the other way.
So what's going to happen eventually is Schultz is going to get to the zenith, have TV shows and podcasts and be worth millions and millions of dollars.
And Akash is going to come out at the moment.
And poison him and kill him.
No, well, even worse, he's going to come out.
He's going to come out with screenshotted texts from the early days.
Yeah.
And Schultz said things he wasn't supposed to say.
Either you give me half of the kingdom or I tweet this.
You're fucking shit.
And that's what it is.
So Akash knows.
He says, Abraham Lincoln said this.
I take it.
He said, he said, I take accept.
If I'm waiting for so long, how am I here right now?
No.
You don't think that's already happened?
Yeah.
I think Abraham Lincoln did.
Abraham Lincoln said, the only way to truly crush your enemies is to make them friends.
Yes.
So, and Voltaire said, Volutaire by Voltaire.
Voltaire.
Harry Potter back there.
No, his name's Voltaire, but let's just call him Volutaire.
Volitaire said, and Volutaire said, God.
Sounds like he's one of the deceptive.
Volitaire said, Voltaire said, God, he said, God, please give me the strength to deal with my friends, for I know how to deal with my enemies.
Was he sure that was Voltaire or was that Russio?
Who?
Arusio.
Or Rizzo.
What is Rousseau?
How do you pronounce Rousseau?
No, this is Voltaire.
That's Volitaire?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Napoleon Bonaparte.
Nothing scares me more than when under the body.
When Chris hits the underbite, I'm like, oh, fuck.
The jaw pops out.
I'm too close to you.
When you do the underbite, I'm like, oh, it's bad.
When the fucking climb comes out, yeah, it's bad.
Yeah.
So what can you?
I just sleep like that now because I'm having fucking wild dreams.
You're, but you're sneaky.
That's what you need in a leader.
Somebody who's not always like, you know, fucking Schultz is a great leader, but the kid's fucking standing on Egyptian pyramids talking about we're going to change the internet.
You know, he's making too much of a spectacle of himself.
Yeah.
And he's got the phone that he's wearing the multi-catalyst.
I mean, the kid, he makes a spectacle of himself.
Whereas you're fucking quiet.
You're waiting.
You're waiting.
And then boom, he's done.
Then he's going to come out, and then that's what it's going to be.
So, you know, we align ourselves with you.
Yeah, we're waiting on you.
We're betting on you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
All right.
Well, I'm betting on Schultz.
So, hey, we're all going to win.
No, we're all.
We're betting on Schultz.
We're just.
Oh, yeah.
We're just kidding, Emperor Schultz.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's take a break, guys.
And I'm going to tell you about a product we've been telling you about, but I'm also going to tell you something else.
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You are clear thinking, and honestly, it lasts for a long time.
I'm not going to be tired for at least 12 hours.
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Now, let's get back to the show.
Yeah, Mark Ann, he's pirating.
Mark Ann, you should be fucking standing outside of a 7-Eleven smoking a menthol cigarette in Florida.
From the back, that looks like Julia Roberts.
We have so much editing to do.
I've never had more editing to do.
I mean, because who's got more?
I mean, that kid's fucking curling.
His kid's hair's curly.
You told him his hair looked like Rhea Perlmutz.
Yeah, it's Rhea Perlmutt.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, the kid's a fucking new age pirate.
What can you do?
Yeah, he's a handsome, handsome.
Oh, he's a handsome hair.
If you gave that kid, that kid's look with this kid's accent, it'd be all right.
Mark Gagnon, good kid.
All right, guys.
Oh, we gotta go.
We're too long.
I apologize.
What are these pills you have?
Yeah.
What is that?
Fish food?
CBDs.
Oh, what is it?
Okay.
Our sponsor, Raddicks.
They might be reading.
Are we doing a read today?
Shout out to Raddix, yo.
They got the best CBD.
You're looking for CBD, Raddix.
Those are the guys that go to CBDs.
Yeah, yeah.
You focus CBD?
I was, yeah.
Help you sleep?
It helped me sleep a little bit.
Now weed is legal in Jersey, baby.
Come through.
It's going to be legal in New York, too.
Yeah, apparently they need the money.
So by April, it's going to be legal.
It's going to be a fucking party.
The East Coast is about to get so much less cutthroat.
Right.
And weed is legal, y'all.
It's going to be so much more relaxed.
We're not going outside.
It's cold.
All right.
Let's just enjoy life.
That's what's missing here.
You're right.
That's why the West Coast is a lot more laid-back.
Chilled out.
Weed needs to be legal on the East Coast.
Y'all need that shit.
So you can walk at a normal pace without yelling at everybody who's in your way.
I get it.
Yeah.
Both of y'all left New York.
Y'all Seinfeld did it.
No, I didn't leave New York.
What are you talking about?
You're in Staten Island.
Come on.
No, I live in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.
Where are you buying a home?
Staten Island, but it's still a barrel.
I mean, that you're buying a house in Staten Island.
That's Jersey, yo.
Is a fulfillment of it's just where you set.
That's where you wanted to go, right?
That's where I wanted to go.
I needed to go.
I was going to move on to shouting to me that he liked it.
I needed to conquer something on Pete Davidson's for once.
Oh, no, no, no.
People have time in this bitch.
That was a good one.
No, Pete.
No, no, no.
That kid always wins.
How about this?
My shows in Philly got canceled for this weekend, and because of COVID, like the weekend coming up, they got canceled because of COVID.
And I said, oh, how about let's do the shows at 4-6?
We'll do them outside.
And they said, we just booked Pete Davidson.
You can't do it.
I said, perfect.
Oh, man.
Hey, you're going to be the prince of Staten Island.
That's not bad.
That's not a bad question.
What are you going to do?
It's me, fucking Pete, San Volcano.
We all live on Staten Island.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I left.
Fair enough.
No, Staten Island is leaving New York, really.
No, it's a fucking borough.
It's part of New Jersey.
It votes right now.
Listen, here's the truth.
With all the unrest in New York and the East Coast, I just wanted to move where the police live.
I said, I'm going to the blue wall.
Yeah.
You know what's funny?
Is Staten Island actually tried to secede from New York at one point?
Really?
In action?
I didn't know that.
He wanted to be part of Jersey.
Everybody who wants to secede, just secede.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I've been saying, dude.
Portland, Oregon.
And if you think it's so bad, then fuck it, secede.
I don't know why people want to secede, though.
I mean, you can, different states have different laws.
It's kind of like that as it is already.
Because Florida is wide open right now.
Florida is open season.
Nothing.
It's a different world in Florida.
Our boy Debo, who's a friend of the podcast, he says, when I go fly down to Florida, it's like I'm going back in time to 2019.
We're in New York and Philly and the East Coast is closed.
So we already have states' rights.
It already is different.
Yo, get out of here.
Secede.
Are y'all Nets fans, by the way?
Are y'all Knicks fans?
Knicks.
How y'all feel?
Well, this talk they could get Westbrook.
Yeah.
Let's talk of that.
You guys are so broken that you're happy about a guy who never wins.
It's been a long time.
I know.
I mean, it's crazy to think about the fact it's 21 years.
Nets fans will love, love Russell Westbrook.
I love Russell Westbrook.
I don't want him on my team.
So y'all are going to love him.
Is Harden on the Nets now?
That's the top trade destination right now is the Nets.
I mean, that would be what Durant, Hardin, Kyrie.
I honestly think you've got to trade Kyrie if you get James Harden because it's just, there's too many ball dominant people.
So you got to get rid of Kyrie.
And you could probably flip him to Houston just so Houston can save some face in a trade.
But I'm curious to know how you guys feel about Brooklyn just really just taking over.
You're a Brooklyn guy.
Al, are you a Nets fan?
No, I'm a Knicks fan.
Good boy, because that's just what you grew up with.
Yeah.
How y'all feel about the Nets just bullying y'all?
It's brutal, man.
The Knicks, it's been brutal.
It's 99 really was the last team to really get excited about.
Was like LJ.
Lattrell Spreewell.
That was it, Latrelle's Freewell.
That era, and that's 21 years.
That's actually kind of wild that there's a kid walking around who's 21 years, a full-grown adult, who hasn't really had a team in New York, the biggest market besides LA, to get excited about.
It's nuts.
You're the Cowboys of basketball.
Dallas Cowboys, NFL, same thing.
Biggest team in America.
Haven't been good in 25 years.
It's what it is.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
I know.
Yeah, I don't.
It's because it's because shit rolls downhill and Dolan is the worst.
It's really Dolan is the worst.
He's almost like the statue of liberty of GMs.
He's like, give me your tired.
You're sick.
You're injured.
I mean, he'll take fucking anything.
With your career's over, you'll get a contract from fucking that kid.
You'll watch other shit.
His heart's too big.
Y'all watch soccer?
Can I fart on this podcast?
Of course.
Yeah.
That's Andrew's chair.
Fart all you want.
Yeah.
I don't watch soccer, but I would.
You know what they do in soccer?
If you're not good, they relegate you to like a shittier league.
They should do that.
They need that.
You got to hold owners accountable somehow.
If you're a sports owner and you suck, you get relegated to a shittier league.
That's your punishment.
You know what the problem is?
The problem is that the seats are just full.
Like he's got no reason.
He's got no incentive to get good because the garden sold out no matter what.
I'm going to be as willing to watch if they're playing fucking G-Leaguers.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
LeBron not coming to your city anymore.
I think, but Madison Square Garden is such a tourist destination that the people just buy the tickets and come.
You know, where the Nets, you can't fill the bar clause unless you have a good product.
No.
That's true.
Yeah.
You know?
That's true.
So the Islanders are leaving, though.
I was a big Islanders fan.
They're leaving Barbara.
LL is the most, one of the most fun.
Are they going back to Long Island?
Yeah, they're building an arena in Elmont.
I heard those are one of the most fun sporting events to go to, just Long Island Trash.
Oh, my God.
Support Us On Patreon00:02:11
They love just fucking yelling.
You've never seen, we have the ugliest fan base in sports.
I mean, the holes in Suffolk County these people would crawl out of to come to the game.
I was like, are you even human, dude?
You look like a fucking gargoyle with an Islanders jersey on.
I mean, disgusting.
Look like orcs from Lord of the Rings.
I mean, the ugliest fit you can imagine.
I mean, gross.
And you know, it's like those are the most, those are usually the most racist people, too, which is hilarious.
Yeah.
Like you go to the south and it's some dude with three teeth who's being like, wow, people are superior.
You're like, dude, you're the worst representative of the philosophy that you're espousing.
Just like the militant person dating the white dude, overcompensating.
Yeah.
You know what you are deep down inside.
So you got to believe you're superior because you're embarrassed about who you are.
That's what it is.
100%.
That's as true a thing as anyone could say.
Yo.
Yeah.
That's great.
It's a right answer, just like an Indian kid would do.
That's what we do.
That's what you do.
That's what we do.
Give you guys a problem.
You fucking solve it.
We're problem solvers.
That's what we do.
Thank you guys so much for coming on.
Plug everything you want to plug real quick, guys.
You know the history hyenas, but plug away, please.
Support these guys.
Yeah.
Just go to yannispappascomedy.com, historyhyenas.com.
Go to our channel.
If you want bonus content, if you're a fan of the podcast, we appreciate it.
We love Flagrant 2, love Akash, love fucking shows, love everybody.
Patreon.com slash BayridgeBoys.
Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
It's a second episode every week.
We do a bonus episode.
You get early access on patreon.com slash Bayridge Boys.
You get a lot of 14, which is 5-5.
You get WEPA Wednesdays, which is our morning show every Wednesday.
Live.
Live every Wednesday.
You get a bunch of shit there.
You get conspiracy cuties where we talk about conspiracies.
We do a lot on our Patreon, so it's worth the money.
For me, you could see me at chrisdcomedy.com and also at YouTube, ChrisD Comedy.
I'll start a YouTube channel.
I'm Chrissy YouTubes.
Beautiful.
And if you guys support the flagrancy, love the flagrancy, want more, $5 a month.
We'll give you a second episode every week also.
So plenty of opportunities to support the people you love who don't give a fuck about anything except you guys and making you guys happy.
If you wanted to go to that, go to patreon.com slash flagrant2, number one comedy patreon in the world, see what it's all about.
Guys, thank you so much for listening.
My name is Akash Singh, Chris DeSefano, Giannis Papas, F.A. Uli, and Alex Media.