Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Donald Trump's refusal to accept election loss, theorizing he needs a "winner" identity to protect business interests while holding 70 million people hostage. They contrast Trump's chaotic pandemic response with Biden's perceived decency, noting white suburban voters sought stability amidst culture wars. The hosts critique liberal hypocrisy regarding unity, analyze Kim Kardashian's clout-driven support for Biden, and debate whether the election celebration felt like sports fandom or genuine change. Ultimately, they suggest high-stakes comedy is declining under the new administration as comedians face fewer repercussions criticizing the left. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Trump Refuses To Acknowledge The L00:15:04
What's up everybody welcome to Flavor 2.
It's your boy Schultzy, Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon.
What's up?
And let's get started, fellas.
I got a theory.
I got a theory as to why Trump refuses to acknowledge the L. Ooh, theory.
I have a theory.
Okay, so I think, and I've asked around, like I asked a bunch of like folks in news that I know, and I tried to get like bipartisan support for this.
And they were like, look, that doesn't seem like there's anything credible that there's like actual voter fraud.
There's no question that, yes, people do fraudulent ballots.
There's no question.
And I think that's happens on both sides.
And I think it happens every single election.
Right.
Some old bitch gets the mail-in ballots.
Her husband dies.
She's like, look, nobody's going to come and check to see if he signed the shit.
I'm going to mail it in.
That happens.
Does that happen to the tune of 200,000 votes?
Very unlikely.
So, so far, no credible information to show that there is voter fraud.
That being said, Trump is continuing to go, oh, they stole this election, this, that, the other.
Here's my theory.
In order for Trump to have a career after politics, after being president, the con needs to continue.
Right?
What Trump does is I'm a winner.
I think a lot of people are realizing right now, like now that Trump has lost, they're starting to go, oh, shit, the gloss is off.
The hypnotization is out of here.
Somebody said the right word and I'm snapped out.
Like, it was cool to watch it happen.
It's no different than you see in sports.
You know, like there's a lot of LA Dodger fans that weren't a lot of LA Dodger fans six months ago.
You know what I mean?
So it's like you get on board a thing that has momentum and continues to win.
You know, Mark was saying earlier, like it happened to him with Conor McGregor.
Conor McGregor was going to fight Mayweather and Mark's not like a big boxing fan.
So he's like, he sees Conor McGregor going and knocking all these people out in MMA and doing these amazing things in MMA.
And he's like, yo, I think Conor McGregor might do it.
Then that eighth round hits.
And then the eighth round hits and then the reality happens.
And then after that, what happens to you?
Do you feel a little?
Yeah, I started backpedaling.
People are like, Mark, didn't you say he's going to win?
I was like, me?
Yeah.
No, like, I always, like, no way, of course not.
And do you feel like a little bit like duped?
Are you almost like.
Yeah, a little like.
Is it emperor's new clothes?
Yeah, a little bit.
Do you know, do you guys know what that is?
The emperor's new clothes?
Man, I'd be hearing that shit and kind of half knowing.
I think I'm going to half describe it, but it's kind of lit.
It's like, it's basically.
You see if your half match is my half match.
No one knows what it is.
No, but like, I think this dude who used to make nice ass clothes made the emperor some clothes, but they weren't even clothes.
It was nothing.
He was naked.
He was butt-ass naked, but he's like, nah, that's the shit.
And since he believed in his shit, he was Kanye.
It was Kanye with his trash ass, everything except music, right?
It's that emperor's Kanye's new album.
Kanye's new album.
Boom, done.
The one thing he usually does well, he couldn't emperor that shit, right?
But and then the king is walking all around town, dick dangling.
And then everybody got to be like, no, no, it's fire.
It's dope, whatever.
So it's like, basically, don't believe the hype, but you can get caught up in the hype.
Maybe he just had such a big dick.
You're like, this shit must be fire.
Maybe that's it.
Emperor walk around naked.
They'd be like, yo, this shit sucks, bro.
So it's possible.
So the reality is you have this situation where maybe you feel a little bit duped by Connor.
Yeah.
Right?
You're like, oh man, was I lied to?
Like, I believed in all this shit.
And I think there are a lot of these like Trump diehards that were seduced by the victory, right?
The constant victories.
And maybe now they're starting to see a little bit of that like glossy coating start to fall off.
Yeah.
Right?
Here's the thing.
This guy, Trump, needs to be the winner, the constant winner, in order for him to function outside in the regular world.
You know, he's not somebody that like people love because of his humility.
Right.
They love him because he is a winner.
And that's the identity he has chosen.
I will win the art of the deal.
I get it done.
I am victorious.
I don't lose.
So in order for him to go back out into the world and for him to exist as a successful citizen, he needs to continue this air of austerity, right?
And the only way he can do that after loss is to claim fraudulence with the loss.
Right.
The only way.
So essentially, he will bring the country closer to tearing itself in half.
in order to protect his business interests after being president.
What happened to America first?
Was Trump a big, was that his thing, America First?
Actual question.
Where the fuck have you been, bro?
Trump is Trump first to me.
It's always Trump first.
But you're familiar with the saying.
Yeah, okay.
You are.
I didn't know that was his big thing.
Is he the guy always saying that?
He'll like Cabler.
He'll like hug the American flag and say like, oh, I love America.
But his is America first.
That's his whole, that's like the slogan.
It's not only make America great again, but America first.
I'm putting America first.
We're not going to do it.
We're not going to let China take over.
We're going to get the best targets, the best.
We're going to make sure that these tariffs are evenly displayed on both sides.
You know what I mean?
So here's the situation where he's looking like he's doing this thing for the best of America.
Right now, the best thing for America would be accepting a legit loss.
From what I see, maybe new information comes out and maybe it looks like he didn't actually win.
But from what I've seen and from what I've read, there's no fraudulence, extreme fraudulence in terms of stealing an election.
I think what he's doing is I think he's trying to protect himself after the presidency.
There's one other option that I could also think, which is he's going, I'm going to hold hostage 70 million people.
He's going to try, but I think people are going to start to dwindle away.
The best analogy I could look for is like, remember how the hyenas were supporting Scar?
You know, and then the second Scar gets bodied by Simba, all the hyenas start to consume Simba.
I don't think that's the Trump dudes that are on the boat.
I don't think that's the Trump supporters that are on the bridge, but I do think that those are the conservatives that were using Trump to get their agendas.
The Marco Rubios.
The Rubios.
Mitch McConnell was brought up earlier by Robbie, or you said it.
But it was like all these other conservatives that are like, all right, this motherfucker can get shit done.
And he got 70 million people doing whatever.
We're going to use his ass to get our agendas pushed through as well.
We're going to get a new Supreme Court justice.
You know, Trump, I think, just became a fucking Republican.
Right?
This is a con.
The whole thing is a con.
Like, Trump has always been Trump, but he assumed this identity.
And then the other Republicans are like, oh, that's our horse.
All right, we're going to ride that motherfucker.
So wheels fall off.
Now the wheels have fallen off.
You're going to see those hyenas start to consume.
Myos.
I really start.
I think it's going to be.
So what's going to be an interesting thing that happens is what happens to all these people that like created their identity around him?
Not just athletes, not just celebs who have started to kind of identify around it, but like real regular folks who have really created their identity around Trumpism.
And now they're seeing that fall apart.
Like a little part of me feels for them, man.
No, I know.
No, no, no, no.
I know.
What, what, what, what?
Yo, the liberals are the worst winners, bro.
Y'all are the worst winners.
That shit bothered me, y'all.
I know, I know.
Y'all are the worst winners, man.
But it's okay.
It's okay.
Here's the thing.
The thing is that, like, this is what liberals will do.
The liberals will be like, we need unity for four years.
We need to be together.
We need acceptance, right?
And then the second you win, you're like, now fuck them Nazi.
We out the streets, no masks.
That's right.
That's right.
How dare you wear a mask?
Motherfuckers is out there partying in Washington Square Park, tongue kissing homeless people.
You had Trump rallies all on the same day all over America just for Biden.
I know that.
You don't even agree Biden.
Call me a grandma killer walking down the street.
No, not even grandma killer.
Killer.
Me and my girl walking around the street.
No masks.
Old white lady with fucking gray hair.
Any white lady lets her hair go gray.
That's a fucking.
That's a problem right there.
She's gonna be a problem, bro.
White ladies let their hair go gray.
They have given up on life.
Okay, they have one pet.
That's, here's the keys.
Baby done.
That chick is barren, you know what I mean?
Nobody, no kids, nobody to take care of.
Yeah, she just goes killers literally later that day, whoa Biden because we weren't wearing masks in public, Biden wins.
I guarantee that bitch was in Washington Square Park celebrating point.
Is what I do, irresponsible man?
It is what I do is I do feel bad for these people that have been kind of like, because what happened is, I think, Trump.
The reason why he was so exciting is because he picked a lot of targets that a lot of us, even on this podcast, could agree with.
Right, he's going after establishments that like, we've been very critical of.
Yeah, you know, like establishment Democrats that we're critical of, but also establishment Republicans.
Remember when he was doing the Republican primary and he was just calling on all these motherfuckers for not doing anything for years and endless wars and all this other shit.
We're like yeah, it is kind of up, yeah, and then you see him in office and you're like, and you see him, you see him have to deal with a real problem like Corona, like a real situation where I don't know who could handle Corona perfectly.
That's a tough thing, don't get me wrong, but like he clearly did not handle it well yeah, and you start to go, oh, this might be a little bit of a con.
You know a thought I had to that point.
You read the Godfather, you seen the movies?
Yes, remember the original Consoligiary played by Robert Duvall.
I forget his name.
You're not a wartime president, Consoliated.
Yeah, that's how I feel about Trump.
You're not a wartime president, and I don't mean literal war.
I mean, when things are good, you could keep that going, keep it going.
But then, when you're confronted with some and maybe it's not a reflection to him, maybe it's he doesn't have the political experience that another politician might to have this thing prepared and that thing prepared.
He was under prepared for Corona.
That's just a fact.
That's just what it was.
Biden, they had a tweet from like a year ago 2019, saying we're not prepared for a pandemic Trump.
I'm not saying Biden would have done a better job and I don't know that he would have.
Who knows?
I don't think Trump is a good wartime consoliated.
Yeah, there's a thing that you know, yeah, it's.
It's.
It's very tricky because there are different things that you could potentially do.
Yeah, you know, when it comes to a big problem like this right, there are one thing they're one thing, like the laws that you implement right, and there's another thing, which is the influence that you have and how you use that influence right, and it's something we've been talking about, which is like he uses influence very poorly.
Yes, we're not talking about the decisions that were made right, because we don't know what the long-term effects of those are, but the influence that man's all over the place, like and I know it's like he's joking when he says uh, drink bleach.
Well, don't joke.
Motherfuckers really want to know what we supposed to do with.
I think you're hilarious, but I don't want my president to be hilarious.
Yeah no, I want my president to be hilarious, not when it's a pandemic.
Yes, better said yeah like, if you want to talk about like, which team wins the uh, you know, college football championship and you want to give them all fast food inside the White House yeah, hilarious.
Yeah, let's talk about all day.
What's up with this pandemic fam?
Right yeah man, like just give me a straight answer.
What we got to do, you're not gonna wear the mask.
Like, what do you want to do?
Yeah, like what?
What the is going on?
This is your time to lead.
And then that monumental failure, I think, exposed him to a lot of people, Yeah, and I think by that time, a lot of people were so dug in on Trump, it was very hard for them to see objectively, like, if this is somebody that is objectively good for leadership.
And I think, and I do feel for those people, man, because I know what happens to those people if they get teased in this moment right now.
Yep.
They're going to dig in further.
And then they get, that's where the extremist shit starts.
And that's where they start hating you more.
Like, this is what liberals never understand.
Yep.
You help create the extreme Republicans.
You do more harm than good, especially when you're running it up.
Fucking, we're having parades, no masks, but you're monsters for going to a Trump rally.
You're the same motherfucker.
You're just having a post-victory rally.
I like that better.
It's like both extremes aid each other.
I think we were maybe talking about a flywheel.
Yeah.
Let's say that again.
It's a flywheel.
Yeah.
Flywheel.
What's it?
Like the one perpetuates the other and like they spin and create momentum off each other.
Right.
So it's like, is that the shit on the railway where they go like this when you're trying to get away from the train that you just robbed?
You know that in a cartoon when they go like that?
Now what you got mine?
I don't know.
What is that thing?
Also, who puts that there?
Why would that ever be there?
Like imagine if trains like slow and two guys are like in the front like they're like get a motor, bro.
Whose idea was that thing?
What a stupid thing.
Is that faster than walking?
Really?
Yeah.
Come on.
And also, why aren't you seesawing that?
Right?
Why are you going all hands?
Yeah, you're going to sit on the bottom.
You've never been to a park, see some kids, have some fun?
Yeah.
Oh, what idiots.
They made the trains.
Fucking Chinese and Irish.
Way to go, guys.
Okay, so, but back to what we're saying.
Yeah, it's like a flywheel or like I think we said on the Patreon, it was like the Matrix example.
Like the more powerful Neo gets, the more powerful Agent Smith gets.
Right.
Right.
So it's like you have this situation where the right is seeing the left's hypocrisy and now they feel justified in believing almost anything as long as it's pushing back against that left hypocrisy.
But also you have to look at this.
Like when the left sees the people on the right like creating special tax laws to just help the super rich, now you create this extremism on the left, which is like, now we're going to take everybody's money and give it to the people.
Like, I don't care.
Hey, Jeff Bezos, we're shutting down your whole business.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, the extremism begets extremism.
Every single time.
That's why I don't like the fuck your feelings rhetoric.
You know what I mean?
Like, that was like big on the right.
Like, I think Trump even got to it.
Shapiro.
Yeah, Shapiro was a bit more.
Facts, no feelings.
Yeah, exactly.
That kind of thing.
But like, I think Trump even had all that.
The guy's the most religious person we've ever seen.
And he actually goes, facts, no feelings.
That's a good idea.
That's a sentiment.
Facts, no feelings.
That's a good point.
40 years in the desert.
Probably fact.
Is faith a fact?
People live 30 years long, but no, they probably lived about 40 walking around the desert.
That's a fact.
What a fucking fraud, Ben is, right?
Dude, facts, no feelings.
Yeah.
I mean, there might be a couple slippery, a couple feelings in the religious text.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Faith is a feeling.
Faith is a feeling.
It's not a fact.
Yeah, Al?
Hypocritical.
Hot man agrees.
I'm on board.
But I think Trump even did the same shit.
Like, I think there were Trump campaign posters that said, like, fuck your feelings on it.
And I don't know if they were like official or if it was just like official, though.
It might not be official, but that shit is official.
I mean, because that's the thing is, like, that whole like, fuck your feelings rhetoric is way easier because you don't have to then like care.
You know what I mean?
Like, you can just like write it off and be like, oh, I don't even have to pay any attention to it or like invest any time.
But I don't think it's effective, even if your policy is right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's weird.
It's like there's a way to say fuck your no, there's a way to like, there's action and belief, right?
You can act as if fuck your feelings.
Yeah.
You feel away?
You feel away?
You feel away about something?
I can act, which is fuck your feelings, which is, yeah, I don't care that you feel that way.
Al, you're upset that the Yankees lost?
I don't care.
I can act that way, but I don't have to go and tell you specifically to take your feelings and go fuck them.
Also, yeah, in personal life, you can do whatever.
You could be all fuck your feelings in your regular life.
When you're the president, I don't think you can be fuck your feelings all of a sudden.
Yeah, it's like your political party.
You can and you can't, right?
Acting As If You Dont Care00:13:24
Because the tricky thing about being a president is, yes, you have to be everybody's president.
That's your motherfucking job is to be everybody's president.
He did a bad job of doing it.
Without a doubt.
And he pretty intentionally didn't do that.
Yeah, he didn't even try.
Like, that didn't even try.
Now, nobody really tries.
I think Obama actually tried, but I think he tried.
I think race had a lot to do with him trying.
I think that he was specifically going, hey, I need to make an effort to show that I'm everybody's president.
If I lean too black, people are going to go, I see he's just doing the black stuff.
Right.
But like, and maybe like wartime presidents become everybody's presidents because everybody's on the same side.
Yeah.
In like the world.
We're all on the same side.
I could be everybody's president.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But in terms of like the average president, you probably are just serving your folks.
Like maybe Reagan was probably just serving his people.
Maybe Clinton was everybody's.
I mean, the economy was good.
Yo, is that really all it takes?
Does it take a good economy and then all of a sudden you're everybody's president?
I think Trump, to a degree, like I think Trump was going to run away with this election before Corona and the impact on the economy.
People, I think, vote based on how well they're doing with this president in office.
And I don't know how else you can really do it.
Like, are we all really going to follow politics?
I didn't know shit about politics and this exposed it to me.
I was like, oh, each state gets two senators?
That's it?
That's wild.
We were just talking about this.
Robbie said something funny.
He's like, he's like, you know, we're the most politically engaged that we've ever been, and we regret it.
He goes, why do I know who the secretary of education is?
Bro, that's too much.
I've never known who the fuck that is.
And there might be that overload that we're feeling right now.
How politically engaged we are.
Like, have you ever had a friend of yours that's really into politics?
Do you have any friends that are really into politics?
Robbie's probably as close as I get.
Outside, and Robbie's a comedian, so it's like, yeah, he's curious about it, but there's also like bits that are coming out of it, right?
Like people who are not creatives that are really into politics, these are the most stressed out people you ever meet in your entire life.
Too much, yo.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you meet, you talk to these folks, you're like, yo, yo, calm down, bro.
Unplug yourself.
It's Qnon.
Yo.
You know what I'm saying?
Winner of the delegates for the thing, and we can't even sign off on it.
It's like, no one cares.
I don't know what a delegate is, bro.
We don't know what any of these fucking things are.
Unplug yourself.
It's too much stress.
It's sports, like the way people root for it.
But imagine if the Cowboys' performance impacted me directly.
You know what I mean?
How fucking stressed that would be.
It's gambling.
It's gambling on sports.
Imagine every game actually affected your bottom line.
Because these motherfuckers that work for the political parties are like, yo, if Blue is out, I'm out of a job.
Yo.
Yo, I like this parlay.
If Democrats don't like this parlay, it's a rap for me.
Yeah.
So I do think that for the average American that all of a sudden got like super involved, and I don't think we got involved because we were actually interested.
I think we got involved because polarization, right?
Like both sides hated the other so much that they wanted evidence to justify the hate.
You see what I'm saying?
Oh, I hate Trump so much.
I'm going to find out who the Secretary of Education is and find out what her principles are and how fucked up that is so I could use it as a haymaker against Trump.
When if you had an average kind of moderate president, I guarantee with Biden, I'm not going to know a single person in the cabinet.
I already gave up caring.
I ain't going to know anybody.
I barely know.
That is one thing, though, that Trump, all the people he picked, he was just picking stars.
You know what I mean?
Like he was just throwing like people in the cabinet that people knew.
You know what I mean?
Like he threw like Omarosa in there for a little bit.
She was in the cabinet?
Wasn't she?
She was in the city.
Omarosa.
That sounds like a video.
She wasn't in the cabinet.
I think she was part of his staff.
Staff or something?
Yeah, but she wasn't like Secretary of Defense.
Oh, yeah, maybe.
I would put a black bitch in there as Secretary of Defense.
Let's be honest, bro.
No, Afghanistan.
No.
Putin with the trifling ass.
He was just throwing Matt Black.
Tell me what to wear.
Go on.
He was just putting people in there that people knew, though.
You know what I mean?
Like the reason we know them is because like it's like his kids or whatever.
I don't know who Betsy DeVoes is, bro.
Let's be honest.
Like, we don't know these motherfuckers.
I think part of it, maybe part of it is that they were like famous within their industries.
I think he did put like a lot of heads of industry in power positions.
Yeah.
He put a lot of people that was running against him.
Interesting, like kind of just took all the losers.
Ben Carson.
Chris Christie got a spot.
Oh, and you know why that's kind of interesting?
Is you don't have to feel you don't have to look at them as threats.
I think if you're concerned that like other people will get some sort of notoriety around you and that makes you insecure, as if you could lose your spotlight because of it, you're not going to put motherfuckers around you that you haven't already beaten.
Yeah.
You don't want the toughest of competition.
I also don't think it's that uncommon, though.
Like, I think Biden's pulling like...
I guess Barack did that with Hillary Rice, Secretary of State.
Yeah, I think that's a little bit what the parties do.
Like you lose in the Democratic primary.
We're going to take care of you.
They just scoop you up.
I'm pretty sure it's smart because it unifies everybody.
That's right.
You're familiar with these people.
Yeah.
And he's like, Bernie's a guy.
And now if Biden gets Bernie position somewhere, whatever the case is.
Right.
And it kind of unifies the party because it throws a bone to all the people that supported Boudigej or Bernie, whoever these people are.
It is different with Trump, though, because of how wild he was during the primaries, calling everyone names and little Marco Rubio and all that shit.
Nah, but fucking right now, Kamala.
What do you mean?
Basically, called Biden for sexual harassment.
So that's the other thing that's interesting is like, they asked Kamala, they're like, yo, do you believe Biden's accuser?
And she was like, yeah.
I mean, not that much.
You don't believe what I said.
I believe she wants him.
I believe she's a lying ass bitch.
I believe she's a lot.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
You didn't let me finish my sentence.
These sluts is out there.
I'm trying to lock them up.
It's not often you see everybody's price.
Like you see a person's price right in front of your face.
We saw her price.
Vice presidency.
Rape is fine.
Yeah.
But what does that say about us?
Like, what does that say about the average American?
Because I don't think anybody was voting for Biden.
It's fair to say that, right?
Right.
There are very few people.
He's a likable guy, but I'm not passionate about Biden.
Do you think it's fair to say this about him?
That he's a decent guy.
Decent.
He comes across as decent, right?
And it's like, and I don't know if this is a reflection of Trump's being such a wild boy that we wanted something calm, but I think there was something in Biden where it's like, there was the thing where he was kissing a retard.
My father died like that.
And that shit was touching.
And I think even with the sniffing of kids stuff, I really think that he's just this kind of grandpa.
Like, I don't think that he's creepy with kids.
It looks creepy as fuck when you just put all the videos together.
Don't get me wrong.
And it's like, low-key, I'm just like, you ain't got to sniff my kid or whatever.
But I think if you know him well, you're probably going, nah, he's just a grandpa.
This guy's 80 fucking years old.
Losing his mind.
Even if he's losing his mind, like, I just think, whatever, there's like a decency to him.
Right.
I don't know why we got on a decency tip.
What was it?
Kamala's price.
Talking about everybody has a price.
Yeah.
So what is the America's price?
So like it was a rejection.
So I think a lot of this was a rejection of like, or not even a rejection, like a reflection of like what we actually wanted.
Right.
Right.
And it's just like, maybe we kind of wanted like a return to homeostasis.
Like we could act.
Most Americans could go out there and act like, yeah, we want to fight the power.
And yeah, we're tired of these establishment Republicans and Democrats because Trump is a real outsider, right?
With the Bushes and the Clintons and the Obamas and all the deep state controlling all this shit.
And I think a lot of Americans have four years of the deep state under quotes not controlling shit.
And they saw like the type of division that was stoked because of it.
And they're like, man, deep state kind of lip, bro.
Like, I like what they were doing these last few hundred years, man.
Yeah, I wonder if it's like finding out that America is actually kind of fucked up in like geopolitical sense.
You know what I mean?
Like, you like to believe that America's like the best, so we're like the good guys were always on the right side of every dispute.
And then you find out we're like bankrupt in countries and shit.
Yeah, like, ah, like Nicaraguan revolution and like some coup d'etats here and there.
You're like, why'd you even tell me that?
Yeah, maybe it's not perfect.
And it's like that, where it's like, we're all super politically activated.
And then, as soon as we're all like, have our hearts in the politics, we're like, I just want to go back to liking my parents' bliss.
Go with Pants in the Matrix, buddy.
Take me to a steakhouse by my vote, dog.
I'll fucking regret taking this red pill.
We all got red pilled, and now we regret it.
Trump is the red pill.
And you know what we talked about on the Patreon?
Sorry, sorry, just on that real quick, just on that point, is that like it is interesting.
The reason Trump was able to come to power, I think, is because so many people felt like their lives were awful.
Yeah.
Right.
And they were like, it can't get worse than where we're at right now.
And I think, judging by the votes, more people went, I guess he can.
Right?
You can't deny.
Don't get me wrong.
70 million supported him.
There's no question.
It's the most votes of a sitting president ever.
Yeah.
But 85, 90, or something like that.
I think it was 90 million.
85 million, maybe almost 90 million were like, nah, we're not running this shit back.
Yeah.
The most popular votes ever.
Most popular votes ever.
For both candidates, though, I think if Trump won, he would have had the most ever also.
He would have.
You were saying before I cut you.
We talked about this in the Patreon, but the thing that lost Trump the vote, because he gained pretty much everywhere else, every other demographic, but white people, I think specifically white suburban people, were done.
And why do you move out to the suburbs?
Yep.
Stability, quiet, peace, calm.
Stop shaking shit up.
I'm done being in a city.
I just want calmness.
I think four years of Trump, they were like, yo, I'm out.
I think what it was is, and I wonder if maybe we had this conversation on Patreon, but you know, we've been very critical of like Democratic strategy, right?
Yes.
We've come on this podcast and we've said, these guys are fucking idiots.
They can't get a candidate.
They can't get anything through.
They can't do anything.
They got these four chicks, the squad out here yapping about taking millions of dollars away from people or not letting Amazon go around.
Alex, you're okay.
Everything good over there?
You look concerned.
I thought we lost the card.
It doesn't matter.
So listen, we just had to replug everything in.
I'm on edge.
Democratic strategy.
Democratic strategy, right?
So for what was the point I was trying to make?
Maybe we said this on the Patreon, but I think some of the white suburban people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we talk about Democratic strategists as absolutely abysmal.
They can't get a decent candidate.
They don't really stand for anything.
What the hell is going on in the world?
Right.
If their strategy was to make being a Trump supporter so fucking radioactive that the average suburbanite moderate, the person who's not that politically engaged, we're not talking about the people who are going to take down of Arizona, right?
We're talking about the moderate, the person in that cul-de-sac.
That the moderate is going, I can't take this stress.
I just want an easy life.
I got tennis practice with friends.
I got to whisper about my political conversations.
I'm not having any political talks with my black friends because they think that I'm a closet Trump supporter.
I'm doing like if that stress was too high for them, because their life is going to be good no matter what, they're not the coal miner.
They're not the fracker, right?
They're not the person who has a farming job that might be going away because we're buying, you know, soybeans, whatever the fuck from other countries.
The moderate that voted for Trump before because of the culture war, right?
The vote of the moderate that's doing okay, that was like, I just don't want you to tell me what words I can or can't say.
Democrats, fuck you.
I'm going to vote for the Trump guy.
Their life got too fucking hot.
And when it got too fucking hot, they were like, I can't take this shit anymore.
Yeah.
And that's who lost because he went up in all minorities.
Yeah.
All minorities were like, nah, this guy kind of popping.
Yeah.
I mean, he hates me.
But I'll take that.
At least a lot of people hate me.
Let's be honest about it.
Nah, I don't think you think Trump hates minorities.
No, I don't think Trump hates anybody.
I think he does play on that to get a certain fan base.
And again, I don't think every Trump supporter is a racist.
I don't.
That's idiotic.
I will say, if you're racist, you're probably not voting for Biden and Kamley.
That's an interesting point.
Whoa, old Biden, you'd be like, that's old Biden.
Yo, old Kamala, even.
Like, lock them back.
I'm pretty sure that Richard Spencer, he like, I don't know if it's like a publicity stunt or what the purpose of it was.
Yeah.
But he like publicly advocated for Biden.
What are you doing?
He wants attention.
Yeah, I think he probably did that.
He just wants attention, man.
But all these people are like, oh, no, Richard Spencer said it.
So that means Biden's the real racist.
I'm like, all right.
Also, that could be like a that must be him doing like a political movie.
I think it was a strategy move also.
Also, strategy, like make Biden look radioactive.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So real talk, my take on it, I really think he lost the election to the infection and the divisiveness that was going on in the country.
And the divisiveness was heightened by not the coronavirus, but by the reaction to the virus.
Having everybody at home, not able to go to work.
George Floyd while we're all at home.
George Floyd is while we're at home, right?
We have literally nothing to do.
So we start getting more politically active because, yo, give me something to root for.
This virus fucked them up.
But how interesting is it?
It's not the actual death toll.
Political Divisiveness During Lockdown00:03:12
I don't think it is.
It's the downtime.
Human beings.
Circumstances.
The circumstances.
Human beings, we are not built for downtime.
No.
It's like, that's why motherfuckers got to meditate, dude.
You know what I mean?
Like, you can't, you should be able to just sit down and relax.
But that's so hard for humans that we got to go just focus on your breathing.
Why?
Why can't I just sit down?
Because our brains will go to a million different other places.
Even sitting there and focusing on your breathing, you get distracted.
This brain is not meant to relax.
People spend hundreds of dollars going to a fucking retreat, a quiet retreat.
To not talk.
People spend paying money.
Not be entertained.
Just get married.
This is easy, bro.
Just get married.
It's very simple.
Get in one fight.
You won't want to talk for the whole night.
No, I'm in my head.
But what I would say, close that fridge loud.
See what the fuck happened.
It's going down.
I'm not playing, bro.
I've spent tens of thousands of dollars just to shut my mind off.
It don't work.
Nothing.
It keeps going.
This shit is dangerous, yo.
Even when you go to sleep, dreaming.
Dreaming.
About all these things that shit.
This motherfucker don't quiet down ever.
Bro, isn't that the worst when you wake up after a stressful night of sleeping and you're like, come home, bro?
Even in my sleep.
The fuck is going on out there?
Dude, maybe that's why girls get upset at us.
Like when we cheat on them in their dreams.
Because it's like, they already got to worry about us cheating on that at all.
Finally, after a long day of thinking about why we're out there dicking down, they go to sleep.
And what are we doing?
Dicking down.
Oh, fuck y'all.
Bro, I almost got caught.
I almost got caught in my dreams.
Jesus.
I almost got caught in this.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I need to get y'all some food at a discount.
Simple as that.
Okay.
Let's just be honest about what these things are.
All right.
There's a million different apps that you can get food delivered to your home with.
Okay.
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And you're going to get a little money back.
Okay.
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You know, a lot of these places got delivery fees.
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How could you not do that?
How could you not do that?
DoorDash.
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I'm telling you, DoorDash is the one that you use, and you get free money.
How could you not do it?
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Don't forget, Flagrant.
Get that $5 off.
Let's get back to the show.
Bro, I almost got caught.
I almost got caught in my dream.
I almost got caught in my dream.
What did you say the wrong name out loud?
No.
You're like, Stevens.
DoorDash Free Money Hack00:15:25
Basically.
That was off the spot.
So we might, I don't know.
I might have to massage this part of how I said it.
But basically, I woke up and the dream was weird because I dreamed I was with someone else, but I cheated on my wife with my current wife.
So you were married to someone else, but you cheated on them with your wife.
With my girl, yeah.
That's the game.
It's my dream.
It's my dream.
Try to get Brownie.
You're on a fight, bro.
It's my dream.
So this is what's fucked up.
The table in the wife's ghetto ass situation we got over here.
This is the fucked up part.
Is I woke up.
I told her that.
I was like, isn't that a weird dream?
She goes, oh, yeah, it is weird.
Did you like it?
Like, was it hot?
I was like, wait, was what part hot?
Cheating hot.
So I was like, so she's basically trying to be like.
No, you said up either way.
You can't answer that.
Yeah, that's God.
She was like, all right, so like, if I say yes, then cheating's hot.
And if I say no, then being with her wasn't hot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I just went back to sleep.
I tried to recite it.
This is the right way to do it.
I'm still sleeping out tonight.
I'm sleepwalking.
I don't know.
Yeah, you gotta be like, yo, I just hooked your girl up to talk about cheating in the night.
No, wake up.
I had a bad dream.
Hey, babe.
Babe.
No, I've never woken her up.
That's the thing.
I don't know if she sleeps because she's just always awake.
Remember when my girl said that shit to me?
Babe, wake up and help me sleep.
Oh, yeah.
That's crazy ass chick.
Bro, she said some crazy shit to me this week.
Bro, we're talking about like we were watching this, some like chess movie on Netflix, the new series, some chick is good at chess.
Gambit, Queen.
You seen that shit?
No, bro.
Absolutely not.
What?
Yo, nerd.
First of all, you know what's fucked up?
I was going to give y'all the alley ooh later to do it, right?
I was going to give you guys the alley oo to do it later.
Y'all really fucked up guys.
I would call them how much of a dirty.
No, no, no, no.
I know this.
I can't even allow it to happen.
This is how upset I am.
Listen, man.
We're doing this shit the other day.
We're doing it the other day.
This is really good.
This is really cool.
Just calm down.
We're doing this shit.
Don't pull out a lightsaber on us right now, bro.
Please.
We're doing this shit the other day, right?
I'm here, y'all.
I gotta go.
I'm here.
Yeah, you dropped your retators.
Hold on, wait.
They gotta stop the podcast.
So I was gonna give them the perfect opportunity to do this game.
I think they found it anyway.
They didn't find it in it, but they don't realize.
Like, I had this shit set up a day in advance.
Like, I had tweeted yesterday about the Avengers, how like the timeline don't make any sense in Avengers.
And I'm starting out this like Avengers conversation.
And I'm about to have that conversation on the pod, right?
Which is the alley you for them to just hammer me for this, like, nerd shit.
Like, Mark wasn't allowed to watch movies when he was younger, right?
So, like, we make fun of him all the time for not watching movies.
So, he's tried to create a way where he could make us look like nerds for watching movies.
So, we're talking about Batman, and like, he's just sitting there like an idiot because he doesn't know what Batman is.
He has no clue what anything.
And he goes, you got fucking dorks.
Look at you like that.
And it's way funnier to know about that.
It's so funny.
That's right.
It's funny.
And then somehow, when all of us are into Marvel movies, I just became the one that's into it.
Right?
Al is like, yeah, when you watching Marvel.
Al said he watches fucking Marvel three once a week.
You say you watch Endgame or something.
I'm going to jump shit real quick.
He's a racist.
He's a twee.
Look at that fucking nerd over there.
Hiding his comic books.
Deleting his Netflix cube.
Fuck that loser.
So, but y'all jump too fucking quick, man.
Nah, we'll bring it back.
Don't worry.
Anyway, Queen's Candidate.
Did y'all watch Queen's?
You watched it?
No, I did not.
Anyway, we started watching this shit.
It's probably on my schedule of things today.
You got to watch it.
I have to do when I get home.
It looked pretty good.
It's probably a homework assignment.
So we go and watch this.
We started watching this thing, and the girl's a redhead, right?
Yeah.
And my girl started telling me how she was in some other movie and then she was blonde and she was like way prettier or not.
And I was like, yo, be honest, if we knew we were going to have a red-headed kid, would you abort it?
Right?
Just joking, right?
I'm joking.
Listen, gingers.
Guys, that's crazy.
Yeah.
Come on.
Is that why?
Is that why you got these red-headed chicks pregnant?
Son.
You got these little Blake Griffins walking about?
That's true.
I'm scooping out Sansa Starks for the last fucking five years of his life.
Anyway, so we're in there.
And I'm like, nah, I'm just joking.
Obviously, you don't do that.
And redheads, don't be all fucking upset about this and go back in your fucking caves.
You little monsters.
So we would sunless caves.
The only place that they can exist.
Yo, that's why it's sunless, bro.
You abort all of them.
No sons.
You know what I mean?
It's okay.
Fucking nerd.
Fucking dork.
I got to make an abortion joke.
I appreciate the abortion.
You got to appreciate comedy, dude.
You got to fucking comment.
That's what I do.
I'm laughing.
Look, so look, don't let anybody shame you for joy, bro.
Motherfuckers out here shaming people for joy.
Stop having so much fun.
So, um, so listen, so we're talking about that.
Like, we're not, nah, nah, we'd obviously never do that, whatever.
And then she goes like this to me.
She says this to me, right?
She goes, like, if we had a daughter, like, how would you feel about her getting a nose job?
Oh, oh, why do you impersonate the Jewish guy the forepiece?
Why you say?
Why do you say that?
Like, I didn't pick up on that.
That's fucked up.
Why you hate Muslims and Jews, bro?
No, come on, dude.
Which side are you on?
I love Sasha Baron Cohen, bro.
Best comic in the 20th century.
Anyway, right?
So he goes, why?
So at first, I know, right?
At first, I'm going on long with it.
I'm like, nah, I mean, like, you know, we got to make sure our daughters love ourselves.
And, like, she got to love herself no matter what.
You know what I mean?
And, like, if after she loves herself, and I'm like, are you saying that my nose is going to come out of that fucking daughter?
God don't do that.
That being said, when the head does crown, I'm going to be looking for that nose to fill up like a parachute just when it pops out.
Like an umbrella.
Exactly.
You got to be careful.
That shit's going to be like a fucking Titanic going through some icebergs and shit.
So just splitting over, bro.
So I'm like, part of me, it's a real question.
I got to consider.
Because obviously, when we pick our significant others, like I'm sizing my girl up.
You know what I mean?
I'm seeing her work out and stuff like that.
I'm seeing her athletic ability, her balance, and shit.
And I'm just like, all right, we could create a nice little two guard out of us.
You know what I'm saying?
We got at least point guard, maybe two guard.
You know what I mean?
Feed it right.
Maybe we get into the three.
She's got great posture.
You know what I mean?
Good ball handling abilities.
You know what I'm saying?
We might be all right.
Wow, boys.
She's looking at me like we're about to have a pterodactyl as a kid and she wants to chop off the nose.
You got to clip the wings.
That's a little crazy.
Is that crazy, though?
Or I'm surprised you didn't go over the top, though.
Nah, I did it.
Nah, you didn't.
I did what I thought.
I haven't spent enough time with her last confidence.
I wasn't in a position of power, guys.
I just had to go with that.
I just tucked myself into my nose like a fucking Northface tote pocket.
Armadillo'd yourself.
But in all seriousness, would you allow your kid to get plastic surgery?
I started to really consider this thought.
Like with the braces, like while they're young?
Or what do you mean?
What are you talking about, Mark?
Like, braces are basically plastic surgery.
You just make your teeth a little nicer.
And while you're doing that, you're surgical, though.
Come on.
I don't think you understand what surgery is.
Bro, what is surgery?
What if you get your back fixed?
If you have like.
Yeah, they make an incision in your spine and then they go invasively and they do some shit.
And when you take out teeth, you got to make a decision.
You don't always take out teeth.
They don't take out teeth.
Sometimes, bro.
I'm talking like braces.
It's just cosmetic.
So you go in.
I know.
Braces is the best argument for it.
And then you go in and get the nose done while you're done.
You know the difference between the two.
Yeah.
That's my point.
Like, while you're getting the braces done, get the nose done too.
Yeah.
My feeling is this.
I think as a girl, there's two ways to look at it.
I don't think I'd be cool with a guy, my son, getting any sort of plastic surgery.
There you go.
I like this.
Go ahead.
Wait, I think, are we on the same page?
I think so.
Okay.
I wouldn't want my daughter getting plastic surgery because anything that she was going to change to make her life more convenient.
You know what I mean?
Like being beautiful is a convenience in life, right?
So if I can make your life more convenient, sure.
But I don't want to set up a system where you think that your body is wrong.
Yeah.
If you embrace yourself, you love yourself, you can joke around about all these things, and then you get a nose job, and then all of a sudden it's like your next level and life is more convenient for you.
Go for it.
If we have the technology, you should be allowed to like exist.
And I guess in money, you'd be about to exist in whatever form is most convenient, right?
But, dude, no.
I want you to be inspired to like succeed.
I don't want you to get by on your looks as a dude.
Also, like, dudes with small noses, I think, are gay as fuck.
I honestly think.
Oh, yeah.
I honestly think, yo, real talk.
You figure out why.
I was like, what an odd opinion to have.
I started to think about this.
Like, a dude with a little button nose, probably gay, bro.
A little nose?
Name one great man with a little nose, bro.
Every president, big nose.
Every great leader in the world, big nose.
I don't know anyone with a little nose.
I just don't know.
Take out a nose.
Take out a five.
Take out a 10.
Take out a 20.
Okay.
Reason they didn't put Harry Tubman on Bill because that nose ain't big enough.
What's a dude with a little nose?
Exactly.
I don't even remember them.
Yeah, but you don't remember them.
Regular noses and then big noses.
Big nose.
You need that big nose energy.
You need that big nose energy, bro.
You probably got a lot of energy in every inhale.
There's so much.
Exactly.
You got to take the oxygen out of the room.
When I walk in a room, they ain't a lot of oxygen.
It took my breath away, bro.
Real talk.
That's what I do.
I like how you try to rebrand big noses.
I like it.
Check this out.
The Greeks did this.
The Greeks did this with dicks, right?
They had these little ass dicks, right?
And then all of a sudden, they were like, big dicks are whack.
And that's why they started cutting dicks off of statues, all that kind of shit, right?
They never did that with noses.
They never did that with noses.
Didn't they cut off diet off?
Yo, do you think Moses' real name was Noses?
Do you think Moses?
Moses' real name might have been Noses, bro.
Real talk.
Think about that.
Him out there just sniffing the homeland in the desert for 40 years.
Hey, they are the chosen people.
They are the nosing ones.
The nosing ones, bro.
The nosing ones.
It's the nose in one.
The nosing people.
The nosing people.
Yeah, and there's actually nose discrimination like Al brought up.
Is that they go up to all these statues and chip away the nose.
Yeah.
They don't chip away the nose.
The Sphinx in ancient Egypt.
What happened to it?
Sphinx was a lion.
Bruh, it's got a human face.
Yeah, a nose face.
Nah, dog, it was a lion.
Nah, but Napoleon did that shit, right?
Because he was in your body.
You can't just leave it like that.
It's a lion, bro.
I don't know what else to tell you.
If you guys don't know the history, you don't know history.
It's a lion, bro.
That was Napoleon that his soldier shot that shit off, though, right?
Napoleon probably did that.
Yeah.
Because he had the big ass nose.
He had a big ass nose.
It's about the same size, too.
Yeah.
Al, you don't got small nostrils, bro.
Son, though.
You got some bigger snow.
You can't talk about black nose.
You got a nap bottle.
Dude, you could put in your fucking nostrils.
Oh, you said have a wide nose?
Is that what you're saying?
You're actually going to have a wide nose.
Big noses can talk about big noses, bro.
That's what it is, dog.
That's what it is, bro.
He's a nosy?
You call it an N-word?
Bro, did you just literally?
Wow, you call me the N-word.
Don't breathe out your nose, bro.
Look at them nostrils, dog.
Real talk.
Literally, look at them fucking knives.
Is that how you get knives in the club?
Oh, man.
This dork's mad that he got a big nose.
Everybody have a big nose.
Shut up.
Shut up.
The chest club.
Remember during clubbing the other day, right?
During filming, look at how big the front of Mark's head is.
During filming the other day, this guy bumped into some shit, moved a whole fucking light halfway across the room.
There are 20 people in the room watching him slam his head into this thing.
This guy didn't realize for three minutes that he moved the whole shit.
Literally, I had to tell him take off his hat.
I said, take off your hat because you're not going to feel it enough.
Do you remember you did that?
We can't, you know, we can use it.
Big head energy, dog.
Big head energy.
Imagine the amount of Vaseline they got to use.
That's all his knowledge.
I guess so, bro.
Read less.
Imagine the amount of Vaseline they got to use on his forehead if he boxed it.
Just dump that shit out.
Before the fight, they just like, oh, fucking.
They be taking that painted shit you do on the walls.
They just roll off his Vaseline.
Bro, it's like it's fucking swirly, dude.
They just dunk your head in, pull you out.
All right, get in there, champ.
Bob a weed, baby.
It's a big target, all right?
We need to have bangs for you, bro.
Oh, yeah.
We need to cut your hair, have bangs, dude.
You know, I can bounce it out.
Yeah, man.
Like it was Zoe Dijanel.
I don't know, dog.
Because you don't have a big forehead.
It just comes forward a lot.
Yeah.
It's protruding.
Yeah, a protruding forehead.
Yeah.
It's like an awning.
Yeah, you caught a little.
I look like a bodega and fucking cast a lunch or some shit.
I look like Aladdin could fall through me and be safe.
Real talk.
All right.
Does everybody feel worse about themselves?
Let's keep it moving.
Okay, so what else we got today, guys?
What else is going on?
R.I.P., Alex Trebek, the GOAT.
Yo, why?
Why is that so sad?
I was like, low-key, emotional, man.
There was this Indian dude that was on Jeopardy.
I posted this video.
This Indian dude's on Jeopardy.
And he's like, yo.
I'm just laughing at you.
Because his reaction, I've watched him watch the video.
That shit got me choking.
And he was trying to play it off like he wasn't feeling it.
Seriously, I had a different reaction.
Let me see if I'm missing something.
I saw with no sound.
Let me see what I'm saying.
My guy just hates any other Indian on TV that's not him.
Fuck that.
Who fucks Jeopardy?
Who books this thing?
It's a fucking bullshit show.
Fuck that, yo.
Hey, that's my credit.
Oh, they're all Indian?
Oh, my God.
Yo, where's Trump when you need him, bro?
Make Jeopardy great again.
What is we love you Alex Very Kim?
We turn that aluminum up a little dog cost you $19.95.
That's not the one, dude.
That's five bucks.
That's the one.
That's not the one.
That's the one I saw.
It's the one that's.
No, bro.
Watching Chappelles Reaction Closely00:15:45
Prove your smiling.
This is not the one, dog.
Let's take a look at your response.
Did you come up with the right one?
No.
What is we love you, Alex?
That's very kind.
Thank you.
Cost you $19.95.
You left with a five bucks.
Okay.
You got choked up.
Alex's reaction made me a little emotional, but what bothered me is this Indiana?
That's not it, though.
That's not it.
This thing got the right video.
The answer.
Can we get the right video?
Yeah, he's getting fake news right now, and he's not happy.
But that's not the video.
So that's not what made me sad.
I did get sad at that one when I initially watched that.
You gotta go here ago.
You gotta go.
This is it right here.
You gotta go to his Twitter.
Any family members back home cheering?
Okay, let me see.
You know, here's a true story, man.
Oh, this one's good.
I learned English because of you.
And so my grandfather, who raised me, I'm just going to get tears right now.
I used to sit on his lap and watch you every day.
So it's a pretty special moment for me, man.
Thank you very much.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
That one got me.
That one was good.
Yo, Andrew's watching this thing yesterday.
I hear the audio.
I'm like, oh, man, that's kind of sad.
And then he pretends to not be kind of crying a little bit.
He just looks up.
He's like, man, that's really sad, dude.
Fuck.
He was like, mad about it.
It's like, fuck, dude.
Man, yeah, fucked up.
I've been touching my emotions, bro.
I let them tears out, dude.
I'm a crier, my guy.
Yeah, bro.
Crying is beautiful, man.
I don't know why I'm so sad about that shit.
There's something about that guy.
He's just pure.
He's an icon.
He was pure.
He seemed calming.
There was something about his presence that was so calming.
And he was just a guy that was there.
It's like you lost a piece of your childhood a little bit.
Even if you didn't watch the show, you knew it was on.
You knew who was hosting.
You knew he was mad, calming.
Seemed like a sweet guy.
Always there.
He did that for like 30-something years, 36 years.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's not like some Mr. Rodney shit.
Killing that one thing for that long a period of time.
And like everybody respects you for it.
Like it's a dope feeling.
Yo, you know who should take his place?
Hit it.
Hit it.
Mark, because he's full of useless information.
But by the end, I was happy with his idea, right?
I would die every time.
You literally do that shit, Mark.
Real talk.
Yo, me and all my Indians hanging out?
Yeah.
Hey, chill, chill, chill.
Our information is useful.
Bro, all these Indians love Alex Trabeck.
I guess what bothers me about this kid is you wrong.
Don't try to act like, hey, let me get some sympathy points when you're wrong.
He lost, motherfucker.
That's a bug.
Don't act like I didn't notice that you lost, Indian.
This guy doing it after the intermission, it's anybody's game.
He's having a real moment.
This motherfucker trying to cover up the fact that he lost a stupid ass bow tie.
Threw a question away, could have got it right.
Didn't even.
He's like a Zane local newscaster.
Get out and get it.
He knew that he was never going to win.
He knew he wasn't going to win.
So, man, let me get some points off of it.
Fuck you.
He lost, yo.
This guy, real.
This crying-ass Indian about his grandfather, that's a real story.
Yeah, bro.
You harsh, bro.
I don't like this shit.
I paid $19.95 to say he loved Alex Trebeck.
I've been watching Jeopardy the last couple weeks.
I don't know why.
Hat Ben is on Netflix.
I'm a dork on Netflix?
Yeah, I got shit.
You chose to stream it?
Yeah, I've been streaming it, yo.
Binging.
It's crazy.
Yo, watch the chess gambit or whatever that show is.
What is it called?
Deep Blue Cass.
Ginger Chess.
I don't want to see women winning on Netflix.
You know what I mean?
Does she win?
I'm sure she does.
Spoiler.
I don't know.
She's in a dungeon with this old guy.
That's the part I got up to.
And I started beating my name.
I remember the days when this used to be a podcast where we talked about sports and like man shit.
Yeah, we got two fucking dorks over here.
I got go home and watch it.
Oh, let's talk about the Bachelorette.
Rewrongs of Jeopardy.
Yo, Are you watching reruns just so you can get the questions right?
Because you ain't got to write the first dive.
Yo, low-key, I haven't gotten that far yet, but I'm excited to.
I'm excited to know some answers.
Yeah, you're not going to take this bullying from Al, bro.
Why is that?
I don't know yet.
I'm going to figure it out.
I'm going to figure it out.
I'm going to figure what angle I'm about to go in on.
I'm not sure.
Shut up, Martin.
Shut your mouth.
He's about to turn the Newtonian.
Nukes is coming out.
Nukes is coming, maybe, for both of you.
I was about to gas you up.
No, you're not gassing nothing up.
Okay, you sit right there.
90s out.
Yo, that's what he does.
He bullies.
Fucking keys in the ignition, baby.
This is crazy.
He's been nervous.
Ben nervous.
The kids are fucking coming.
It's cooking up.
It's coming up.
Intense.
Nah.
Yo.
Can we talk about the real Ben Carson?
No, who's the real Ben Carson?
No.
That guy that you got wrong.
That guy, the guy that got dead.
So now the real Ben Carson got it.
What do you mean?
He got Corota.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, Ben Carson got it.
They tried to take out the whole Trump staff.
2% of black people.
They're going to trump today.
Tom, whatever the motherfucker's name is, head of staff.
Fat ass Chris Christie got the.
He survived, but.
Oh, did you outsee the, what's it called? Chappelle thing?
All right, guys, let's take a break right now because we need to save you some money.
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And guys, we got some show announcements.
I am at Atlantic City Comedy Club this Thursday, November 12th.
People are already buying tickets.
I'm getting the screenshots.
But if you buy now and use the promo code Flagrant, you get 20% off your purchase.
You're welcome.
Obviously, I'm going to save you guys money because I love you.
On top of that, I'm going to be at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island, December 12th and 13th.
I know we were getting some messages.
If the ticket link isn't live, I'm on their ass.
It should be live by the time this episode is up.
So, guys, go to akashing.com.
Ticket links will be there.
Bring your ass to the show.
Now, let's get back to the show.
Oh, did you outsee the, what's it called? Chappelle thing?
Yes, I did.
What did you think?
I just saw clips.
You know what?
The most interesting part was I tweeted this.
That's rough.
When you go, when it starts with an exhale, it was good.
It wasn't.
I mean, it's Chappelle, so he's on a different level, and it was fine.
But for sure.
Keep it a buck.
It was fine.
It was fine.
It's not what Chappelle normally does.
Yeah.
I left watching it and I'm like, the GOAT trophy is up for grabs.
Really?
Yeah.
He's not into by his own choice.
Yes.
I will say that.
He's not into comedy anymore.
Like, he's not trying to do.
And he even said there's a line where he resents the fact that to say what he wants to say, he has to put a punchline at the end.
You remember that?
Yes.
I feel like he resents.
Like, I'm the fucking smartest person in here.
I'm the best speaker, like you said, maybe the best public speaker in American history.
And to get you fucking morons to listen.
Storyteller.
Yeah, I have to put a punchline at the end of everything to hold your attention.
It's actually not true, though, because he didn't have any punchlines in the thing that he put on YouTube.
And I think that was the first step of like, I'm kind of done with this thing.
But I've been saying this about Chappelle for years, though.
I think that he has like ascended past stand-up.
Like, you can just talk.
Like, you're smart enough where you can just talk and we will listen.
And he's so profound.
Like, I was watching little clips from the episode of like David Letterman that he did.
Yeah.
His new show, whatever.
And he's just such an engaging speaker.
Like, even his joke about Chris Christie getting it was said.
It was something common.
I'm sure he joked around on the pod about it.
But like, he can get all the juice out of the orange.
Like, he can say, even if he has a generic joke, he will get the most juice out of that joke.
It's like Freddie Mercury getting AIDS in the 70s or whatever.
We all knew how he got it.
You know what he said?
He was just like, he has all the, like, nobody looked at Freddie Mercury getting AIDS and was like, I wonder how surprised.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then he had a fucking, what was the punchline about?
I thought you were saying that's what Chappelle is like.
No, that's what Chappelle said about.
I was only, I only saw the part about the fixings.
He goes, that's everything Corona eats.
He got all the fixings.
So he's so skilled.
He's so brilliant.
And he's so skilled.
But I think he is transcending the art.
Yeah.
And I also think, and it may be where he feels like his importance lies.
Like maybe he feels like I can make an effect on this world better if I'm not hindered by having to do punchlines.
Selfishly, I wish he wouldn't.
Selfishly, I want him in the game.
Selfishly, I want the best guy in the game.
Maybe if I'm in the game.
Maybe that's what I feel.
Yeah.
Selfishly.
I'm disappointed that he just not liked it.
Yeah, I want you.
Flamethrower, special after special.
Like when I see Burr do that shit on SNL and I'm hungry for the next special, I'm like, yo, where's the bar at, bro?
Yeah.
Where the fuck is the bar at?
Because if Chappelle is doing Chappelle-esque, like, like talks that are brilliant, but also have a couple punchlines, as brilliant as they are, I'm like, I'm not competing with that stand-up-wise.
That's not the thing that makes me, because I don't want to do that at this point in my life.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
But I know how great Chappelle is at that.
So it's just like, selfishly, I want him to be in the game, but there's a part of me that goes, all right, maybe you've, maybe you're going to pass it.
You know who he is?
He's Andre 3K for comedy.
Andre 3000.
Nah, it's when Andre raps is different.
It's like, you listen to it.
It almost got born for him.
He's so fucking nice.
Like even just that little thing on the fucking John Legends song, Green Light or whatever, body's out.
He had the sorry song with a TI, body's out.
And he just barely raps because he's like, I even think he said, like, this shit ain't for me.
I'm good.
Like, it's too easy for me.
I would say he's more like Jay-Z because he's still active.
He's just doing something different.
Like, Jay-Z's still active.
Like, he'll still give you an album like 444, but it just doesn't sound like any of the music that any of the younger artists are making.
Like, he's just elevated to a point where it's like, oh, hey, my topic matter is going to be different and my beats are going to be different.
Yeah.
And I don't give a fuck.
And you're going to respect it.
And it's going to be a great movie.
Yeah.
I think he's like elevated to, he's like in the God category.
It's like you cannot deny his brilliance.
Yeah, that's true.
But he's not really competing with the ones who are still in the game.
I hear what Akash is saying in terms of like skill level.
Skill level.
Yeah.
And but I also understand where you are in terms of like subject matter.
And status.
He's already got status.
So like, I don't need to do what you do.
Y'all are trying to get where I am.
Yeah.
I'm past that.
He's off that.
He's a Jay-Z, another Jay-Z reference.
That is another thing that like a lot of comics will be critical of him for not being as jokey with the stuff that he's talking about.
He has earned that patience.
Yes.
There's not a lot of comics that can demand that patience from an audience.
Yeah.
There's very few comics that can just be up there for two minutes telling a story, and then you are hanging on every single word.
And that takes 20, 30 years of delivering super fast, if you want, slow, but no matter what, there's going to be delivery.
Him and Pryor are the only two I can think of that could do that.
And he even comes out, and this is something you don't see comics do.
He comes out and says, I'm nervous.
Believe it or not, I am nervous, even though you can't see it out here.
Comics don't do that shit.
Comics don't come out and say, Hey, I'm nervous right now, and then get into their set because you're like, Oh, the audience is going to lose faith in me.
Chappelle, we're all like, Yeah, but you're still going to deliver.
You can be nervous and you can still deliver because I know you.
You're Chappelle.
I wonder if he's just in like the Carlin phase of his career, though, like the late Carlin phase.
Where, like, if you look at Carlin's early stuff, it's like all jokes, silly observations, and then it transcends into really serious pointed takes with like punchlines every now and again.
I remember it's funny that you say that about Carlin.
We got pictures of Carlin up here in the studio certain places.
I think we have some Carlin around here.
We might need a Carlin.
Yeah, his books up there.
Oh, his books.
Brain dropping.
Brain dropping too.
I'm curious what the new generation of kids that get into stand-up comedy think of this evolved version of Chappelle.
I think it helps his legacy.
I think it helps his legacy amongst us, but I don't think it helps it amongst the new generation.
And I say that because I found Carlin after he had evolved into the final stage of Carlin.
And I didn't think he was funny.
Yeah, me neither.
I was just like, this old guy is passionate and like angry about shit, but I'm going into it with the expectation of humor.
Yeah, and he was cynical.
Yeah, he was just cynical.
He wasn't dropping any bombs, but I heard the audience laughing.
And then that cognitive distance that I was experiencing made me feel uncomfortable watching.
So I was never like ranking him super high.
And then as I got into stand-up and I started to go back to old Carlin, I start to like see him evolve into this thinker.
I was like, oh, that's why they're laughing.
Yeah.
Because they have years of Carlin with him.
It's like your best friend telling you a story about like, you know, going to Krispy Kreme or some shit like that.
You, everything that your best friend has experienced in his life gets carried into that story.
So you're dying at certain parts that might not have punchlines because it's Craig.
Yeah.
It's Craig in Krispy Kreme.
How funny would it be if that person said that to Craig?
Yeah.
It's almost our relationship with Larry David.
Like when Larry starts the awkward interaction with the person in an episode, we start laughing because we're like, oh, here Larry go.
Yeah.
Here he go.
This is going to be a thing.
The first time, though, you're like, it's just a weird, awkward old guy.
Like, what's the deal?
You got to win that trust.
And so Mike, Mike, I'm curious if the new generation of kids that just see this version of Chappelle are going to go, oh, why does everybody think he's so funny?
And then my only pushback on my own point is Carlin didn't live in the internet age.
That's what I was just about to say.
What just dropped on Netflix?
Chappelle show.
Chappelle show.
So all these young kids are going to go, maybe who are just finding out about Chappelle, maybe are seeing later specials and they're like, everybody says he's the GOAT, but I don't know.
It's whatever.
Now they go on Netflix and they see Chappelle's show.
Now they go on YouTube and they start looking at past sketches and they start looking at killing him softly.
They start looking at what was the other one?
Fuck, what's for what it's worth?
For what it's worth.
And they're like, oh, that's how you get from here to here.
Yeah.
And I wonder if they rewatch the newer Chappelle and they start going, oh, I see why everybody's laughing.
Yeah.
One thing I was confused about, he mentions that he doesn't make any money off of Chappelle's show being on all these streaming services, but then he encourages everybody to go watch the Chappelle show on Netflix.
I think he makes money by being famous.
He's in a legacy play, I think.
Like, I don't know if this is just naturally occurring or if this is an actual intentional play on his part, but I think he's pushing for legacy now.
I think he seems bitter about it.
Yeah, I think that like, I think he is bitter about it.
I think a lot of times when you do a show with Viacom, it's like a buyout, the show.
I think anything like MTV or any of that kind of stuff is like, they just go, this is ours.
I think that's what happened with Nick Cannon while in out.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Like, he didn't own the IP.
And that's why he had to leave, probably.
Boom.
Partially.
Exactly, right?
So it's like, I think with, I think with Chappelle, he's not going to get a piece of that, but he understands the significance of that.
And it's almost in a similar play to like, Chappelle don't have like, or doesn't need it, but he also doesn't have like YouTube and stuff like us.
Dave Chappelle Legacy Play00:06:22
Right?
Like, we can just put clips or whatever we want on YouTube and they can exist forever.
And that can be our library.
That's, he don't have that.
And he doesn't have the rights to post them.
So low-key, he needs them shits to exist out there.
Yeah.
And it's also a reminder to the young kids.
Yo, this is what, this is what I'm about.
This is what I did.
You're watching SNL.
You might not like it.
His last line on the SNL monologue is, thank you very much.
Good night.
I saw you tweet that.
I thought that was so great.
Bro, that's right.
Say your old tweet on it.
Dave Chappelle ends his monologue with yo, thank you guys.
Good night because he knows none of us are going to watch a single sketch.
He knows we wanted to watch him and we're done.
Get the fuck up.
And I watched sketches just because of Chappelle show.
He's in one sketch.
He's the only funny part.
And then it's all thank you.
Good night.
But he knew.
To say goodnight.
Sounds like I never repeat that.
Oh, Pete, watch again.
Good night.
Drop the mic.
That's a great point.
It was edgy.
What's that?
Well, one, his words.
He said the N word multiple times.
He said the N-word multiple times.
He cursed even a comment.
He's trying to say shit or something.
Yeah.
And he's smoking.
I'm sure every fucking fire marshal was like going having an anxiety attack.
Like he's smoking indoors.
All these people around him wearing Corona.
Yeah, I know.
During Corona, that was just like.
I'm convinced he just smokes as a fuck you.
I think so.
I think the smoke.
Just show his power.
I think it's maybe a powerful, but it's also a device.
Like any bit of distraction is helpful in stand-up.
And any bit of like attention grabbing is helpful.
Like, I remember when I was in Atlanta and like I smoked a little like joint on stage and then they told me to cut that shit out immediately.
Yeah.
Because I didn't have the clout.
Right.
Dave Chappelle yet.
You got to have the clout to have the clout.
You got to have the clout.
So it's like, but I remember like, just, I always pay attention to the audience, how they react to things.
I remember I could kind of like just like stay in moments with that.
Yeah.
Anytime you take a drag of a cigarette, nobody's bored.
They're watching the embers.
They're watching the smoke come out.
And you get to build this kind of tension.
And some comics will use like a glass of like whiskey or something for it.
There's that like Ron White is really good at that.
And all of a sudden these things become, I don't want to call them props, but they become like distraction devices that allow you to kind of like build tension and like stay in those moments.
And every moment that you can keep an audience's attention and their intrigue for the punchline without delivering the punchline gives you exponential return.
You know, so it's like watching him like pontificate on something when you smoke.
I think you're right, but this time what's interesting is he starts with a cigarette, puts it in the ashtray, doesn't go back to the rest of the monologue.
I saw him go back and take it and then puff.
I didn't, maybe I'd maybe I'm an asshole.
I didn't think he went back and puffed.
I've always thought this though, that like cigarettes and cigars and any type of like smoking apparatus is like, it's like phones before phones.
Like everyone's hanging out and talking and you wanted like a distraction to look at when no one's talking.
You want a thing to do so it's not awkward.
Yeah.
So like hanging out at like a cigar bar and everyone's like talking, all of a sudden there's a lull.
Yeah.
And then you're kind of thinking, oh, what else do I want to say?
And then you bring it back up.
Low-key, being outside or being at venue, like anytime we've went to a place where you could actually smoke inside, if you're not talking to anybody, but you're smoking a cigarette, you're supposed to be there.
Yeah.
You're still active.
If you're by yourself in a bar not smoking a cigarette, by yourself in a bar drinking could be looked at as weird.
Buyering himself in a bar smoking a cigarette.
Oh, he's waiting for someone.
Oh, he's just watching the game.
That's a great point.
Right?
Like, it just seems so normalized for whatever reason.
Yeah, maybe that's the allure on some level of like hookah, too.
It's like you're just sitting around, you're smoking.
What are we doing?
Just sitting around?
Yeah, but we're smoking hookah.
You need something for the positive conversation.
Exactly.
And it breaks it up.
Yeah, that's it.
And phones do it a little bit.
Well, phones can almost do the opposite, too.
They can appease you, but the people around you feel that disconnection.
Yeah.
Whereas the hookah or even like a smoke, if you want a cigarette?
Yeah, he's still there.
There.
He's still with us thinking, whatever.
Yeah.
You can't react.
You're in the middle of a puff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hot take SNL can be good again if they stay edgy the way this last episode.
I was one of the nerds who finished the episode and half of the sketches were very edgy as fuck.
I would rather you watch Crane's Gambit than finish that motherfucker.
I was waiting for Chappelle to be in them.
I thought he was going to be involved with him.
He was, you know, after he was in the middle of the day.
He was just in the first one and then you ain't see him again.
He did one sketch.
First sketch and he's out.
And he's out.
And the funniest part is when he said, fuck the whole sketch because he was like, this is a sketch about people, black people losing their jobs because of the unrest and the virus and everything.
And then it was Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben.
And then they're like, what about the all-state guy?
And that's Dave Chappelle.
And he talks this deep-ass voice, but he kind of laughs before he does it as if, like, I know how ridiculous it's about to sound.
You laugh because Chappelle laughed.
And then they have the Count Chocola, and they're like, what about this black guy?
And the Count just keeps being like, what?
I'm chocolate.
I'm not black.
And it's Pete.
And then Dave's just like, yeah, but look at his lips.
America, look at Pete Davidson's black ass lips.
And then you laugh because he just broke and said, fuck the whole format of the sketch.
I'm just going to laugh.
You laugh at Chappelle being Chappelle.
And I'm telling you, if it stays like that, it can be good again.
So here's a question.
And that shows Dave's brilliance in sketch.
He's fucking.
He, yo, that's the thing that people that Pete, he's going to be remembered as the greatest of all time comedically.
But it's similar, like, if you're familiar with Jim Brown, the running back, obviously, a big football fan.
Jim Brown, the running back, go.
Was a fantastic lacrosse player.
People say he's the greatest lacrosse player ever.
Better at lacrosse and football.
That's what's more dominant.
Now, granted, there's probably way more athletes in football than there are in lacrosse and blah, blah, blah.
But I think he went to BU or some shit.
Something I don't know what school he went to, but apparently he was this super dominant force in lacrosse, right?
And obviously, lacrosse isn't his popular sport, so he goes in football and becomes one of the greatest football players ever.
If Dave Chappelle stopped doing comedy after Chappelle's show, he's the best sketch comedy guy ever.
We nerd out on him because we love stand-up.
But most of America found him through sketch.
I went to Dave Chappelle's show right when Chappelle show came on.
It was mad easy to get tickets.
It's at a theater in Dallas, but like it's not sold out.
There's empty seats.
Then Chappelle show hits and it's just different.
The whole fucking vibe is different.
You remember if you're walking on a college campus and you just go, what?
Somebody would be like, okay.
And it's just Chappelle.
His influence was nuts, dog.
But it's kind of interesting to see him like dominate multiple fields.
Oh, Dad's in.
I can't write sketches for shit.
It's so different.
It's such a different muscle.
Comics Pushing Back Against Power00:08:22
It's very hard.
And it works well with his comedy because if you look at his comedy, he kind of writes sketches.
He like creates these hypotheticals and acts out the characters within them.
But what I'm curious about is like, what happens to comedy now with Biden as president?
And I think comedy, edgy comedy becomes a lot easier for people to do.
And I think you start to see programs like SNL, but also like stand-ups and a lot of people becoming edgy and pushing back because you always, as a comic, want to push back against the institution in power.
So pushing back against the institution in power when Biden is in power is going to be at least calling out the hypocrisy of that institution.
People felt uncomfortable calling out the left when Trump was in power because they thought that was an immediate indictment of being a Trumper, right?
So I think a lot of people who I think a lot of people who will all of a sudden become like maybe edgy again will do it because it's a comfortable environment to be edgy.
It's okay to be edgy because by being edgy, people aren't going to associate you with the right.
You see what I'm saying?
Like for how long did people call me fucking right wing, all right, all this other shit just because I was making jokes, pushing back against the left.
Yeah.
You know, like forever on that show.
So help me out here because to that point, a lot of that started when Barack was president.
Yeah.
I feel just the exact opposite of what you just said.
Go on.
Like if their times are more calm, you can't be as edgy because now you're standing out.
In chaos, the edginess is like, oh, but we got bigger things to worry about.
I think it always depends on like the industry you're in, right?
So like entertainment is usually pretty left-leaning.
Yeah.
Right.
And I think in a left-leaning industry, you can call out certain things that exist within. the culture, if you will, or within politics or within the world from the safety of a left-wing administration.
In other words, yo, this really fucked up what y'all are doing, but I'm glad that y'all are in charge.
Right.
When you have a situation like with Trump, right?
And you see that like gaining like steam and there's some power in there and pushing back against the left and the institutions that are kind of in control is an indictment on supporting that thing on the right.
To some people, they're afraid of that.
They're afraid of being connected to that in any single way.
I see your logic.
I just didn't, I don't know that it played out like that.
I think the anti-PC people got louder when Trump was in office because they felt more like, oh, this is, this is cool now.
We got the anti-IPC guy in office.
And I think it became, I think you helped a lot for sure.
I think this podcast helped a lot, but I think it became more okay to fight back against PC culture when the leader of the country who's been elected, popular vote, whatever, who gives a fuck, that guy got elected by a lot of people.
Right.
So clearly there's something to this.
We can get back to it.
Do you think it's fair to say that like the entertainment industry never really embraced that?
Yes.
And if you wanted to work within the entertainment industry, you probably wouldn't take hold with those to those beliefs.
I agree.
I just think it also started with Obama in office.
The entertainment industry was still going after those, picking those guys.
So I'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm asking you to help me out here because in my memory, what we were complaining about even when Obama was in office was, yo, everything is this fucking safe black guy on TV.
And then the Indian is also gay or afraid to go outside or some other like characteristic quirk that he can't just be Indian.
And they weren't telling our stories or the comics that they chose for these showcases weren't edgy.
I think it's, again, entertainment is always going to lean left.
Yeah.
When there's someone in charge who's also left, there's a little bit more license to make fun of it.
When someone is in charge that is right, especially as polarizing as Trump, and you make fun of the left, the assumption is that you're on the right.
And the right was so fucking radicalized and so radioactive that any association with that made you radioactive.
And I think people were terrified of that, especially like comics and entertainers.
You know, Chris Pratt, poor Chris Pratt, guy just wants to fucking believe in Jesus.
Now he's a Nazi who hates gays.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it was so terrifying for people that were in the entertainment industry.
Now, there's two different things we're looking at.
The YouTube world and classical entertainment.
Okay.
I have to break those up.
Like I should have clarified that.
YouTube explodes because the average person is like, yo, I still want jokes.
I don't want pandering to the entertainment industry standards.
I still want to just laugh at shit.
And sometimes the funny joke is pushing against the left, sometimes pushing against the right.
But let's just make the funniest joke.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was thinking like socially acceptable for us on the ground, not really speaking to classical entertainment.
So that's why that's not.
I should have clarified that.
I should have clarified that.
And to your point, where did you blow up?
YouTube.
Of course.
Absolutely.
So there's this.
And I think you saw like a lot of even like news organization, organization, but like, you know, seeing Crystal and Sager blow up on YouTube as well.
And them just being, you know, people who are calling out the left and the right, but kind of having a little bit more of a fair shake, if you will.
And I think that people who are trying to get deals signed by Hollywood were terrified to do anything that might have connected them with this thing that was so radioactive.
Because that thing doesn't exist anymore.
I think you're going to see a lot more like comics and like creatives going, I can make those jokes because I'm not going to be associated with MAGA.
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, Trash and Biden in the run-up to the election was really dangerous.
Now Trash and Biden's like, oh, he's not.
That he's one.
Yeah, he's just like, oh, it's fine.
You're not a Trumper because you trashed him.
Yeah, I can see it.
That's just my feeling.
I also am a little bit bummed about it because I like the HighWire act.
I like the stakes being that high.
I like touching a topic that I know that motherfuckers are terrified of touching because they could be accused of being connected to that radioactive thing.
And like for me, that makes it exciting.
And maybe this is just selfish, but if comedy gets to a point where it's just like, oh, yeah, anybody can just say the crazy shit because we feel comfortable with the institution that's in power.
And it's just like, oh, well, what's the fun?
I personally, I just don't think that will happen.
Yeah.
I think people are recognized.
It won't.
But you understand what I'm saying.
The sentiment might be a little bit more comfy.
Maybe even SNL starting to feel it a little bit.
They're like, yo, we can get a little bit more edgy because we know that this guy's in.
I wonder if they get fined, like FCC fines and shit like that.
Maybe.
I also wonder if like a post-Trump presidency affects like the culture a little bit.
Like when all of like the PC movement started occurring, probably what, like 2015, like late earlier.
I think in New York, I started seeing it 2008, 2009.
Really?
The second I moved here, I was like, whoa.
Oh, yeah.
What is this?
Yeah.
I mean, I didn't notice it until college, obviously.
So like, if that's when like it's really booming, where like pronouns and like we have to be aware of all these different like microaggressions and stuff.
If that's occurring, people have no idea what to even do with that.
Trump gets in office and is like pushing back against that.
Now are we in like a post-correction phase where people are a little more like stable as to where like they fit in that in that conversation.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
This is interesting.
We always say in this podcast, like every correction is an over correction, right?
This correction wasn't an over correction.
This election this time.
Like you could say from Obama to Trump was the over, right?
But it's not like we went from Trump to AOC or Bernie.
That would be the other over.
This, it was almost like, all right, we've been bouncing around a lot.
Let's get it back to the center.
Chill the fuck out.
It's like maybe we recognize even subconsciously our own tendency to overcorrect.
And because of that, we were just like, I'm tired of the seesaw.
Yeah.
Let's just get a little stability.
And you know what?
In four years, motherfuckers are going to be pissed off again.
Yep.
Because that's what we do.
And they go, and the same motherfuckers that are pissed off because of left-wing shit are going to be voting for another Trump as guy.
And the same motherfuckers are pissed off because of right-wing shit are going to be voting for another Bernie-S-Guy.
But I think for these four years, it's almost like a timeout.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's like, hey, deep state, ceasefire.
Can you just handle some shit so we can get a deep breath?
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's just mommy, daddy.
Yeah.
Blah, blah, blah, is bullying me.
Like, you know, when your, did your old brother ever pick on you and then your parents split you up?
Like, that's what this feels like.
Seesaw Politics And Voter Anger00:02:09
It feels like my younger brother telling mom and dad, yo, just put him in his room so I could just chill for a minute.
Yeah.
Which is why I thought it was like kind of annoying watching everyone like go out and like dancing and celebrating and stuff.
I'm like, I don't really think it's going to change anyone's day-to-day life.
Like, don't override.
It's nice seeing people happy and stuff.
Like, I went out to Washington Square Park and like saw everyone jumping around.
Yeah.
But also, I was like, I don't really think this is going to change.
Like, whose life is going to be changed from this on like actual?
Yeah.
What do you think the celebration represented?
All right, guys, we're going to break for a second because y'all are stressed out.
Okay.
I understand people are stressed out and you're not sleeping well.
And we got to fix that because you should be able to sleep.
There are ways where you can sleep better.
Okay.
Exercise really helps.
Diet really helps.
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Meditation.
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There's a company called Calm.
Some of you probably heard of it.
If you haven't heard it, I'm going to tell you a little bit about it.
But they do these guided meditations and they do these things that you can listen to that are going to put you in the right state so you can get a nice night of sleep, which is going to help with every part of your life.
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Get some sleep.
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Let's get back to the show.
What do you think the celebration represented?
Calm App For Better Sleep00:04:52
So just the sentiment of him being in office and the divisiveness.
And as a black person in America, like that's scary to me because I just don't know how far people are willing to go that dislike me.
So it's like just to have that feeling removed is coming.
And that's enough for me to celebrate.
So I think there's probably people that like definitely support.
Like I was in the West Village, right?
I'm literally sitting down with my fiancé eating brunch and I hear the horns start.
Do you guys hear the horns?
I know.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sneak was going off.
But I'm in a gay ass neighborhood and the Lesbos and the gays were celebrating, bro.
I mean, like snapping, whistling.
They were going wild and people were going for it.
Then we were in Washington Square Park a little bit and shit was popping, right?
These people were celebrating.
And I think that at least in like marginalized communities or whatever that term is, like there's probably that same sensation, which is like, all right, at least the leader, I could feel as if the leader of the country doesn't hate me.
Now, did Trump hate these different people?
I don't think so personally, but he might have created an environment that made people that hated them feel comfortable.
Yeah.
Right?
So I could see that relief.
But then you see like a lot of like white girls in college that are like going crazy.
We did it.
We did.
It's like, dude, what?
Like, that is.
It became sports.
It did become fucking sports.
It became global.
This is the World Cup.
Every four years, we all, you give a fuck about the World Cup for a little while.
That's why we're talking about the software.
No, but yo, maybe that's the thing.
It's like we never fuck with soccer because we got politics.
We don't need it.
Mad slow.
Y'all got a game.
We got life.
Yeah, nothing gets done.
Nobody ever scores.
But that's why there's one black guy on the team.
When you guys mentioned before that liberals are sore losers, I mean, sore winners.
I kind of feel that no matter which side won, both sides would have been sore.
Both sides are sore, bro.
Yeah, what I want to clarify with that is like liberals are sore winners only based on their own politics, which is we should bring everybody together.
We should unite.
This should not be divisive.
And AOC is out here like fucking stalling, trying to take down lists of people who were voting back.
So it just is hypocritical the reaction.
Yeah.
I tend to agree with a lot of liberal policies, but I hate the hypocrisy of they act like they're above all this shit and they judge people who are doing it.
They judge these guys at the Trump rallies.
They're so ignorant.
They're so stupid.
Then your guy wins and you do the same thing.
If you admit you ain't shit, fine.
But if the kind of liberal zeitgeist is, we're above all of this.
We are for unity, like Andrew said.
And then the second you get your win, you act just like them.
That bothers us.
I guess maybe I didn't see it because what I saw, and of course, I was busy this week and I really wasn't paying that much attention, but I saw Biden and Kamala's speech.
And like at that speech and the energy and the messaging they put out, I felt that that was great for the nation.
I'm not speaking about Biden or Kamala.
If Trump won and said those same things, I would have been, yo, that's great for the nation.
And there's been times where he gave a Trump gave an address and people were like, yo, this was very united.
It was one of maybe the last state of the union or something.
Even when he won, remember the stock market was plummeting as he won, and he came out and gave a speech that was pretty stable.
Pretty, I was like, okay, I'm going to give this guy a chance because his speech didn't seem crazy.
It seems pretty reasonable.
And it was comforting.
Yeah, so I just like the fact that, you know, let's promote unity.
Let's promote.
And I can understand you don't like the hypocrisy of it.
But that's the tricky thing when it comes to someone like him in my position is like I agree with the sentiment.
Yeah.
And I'm annoyed by hypocrisy.
Yeah.
And it's a fine line to articulate because I have to preface it with, yo, I'm on the same page.
We all got to come together.
We all got to do this, right?
With the criticism of, but y'all ain't living that fucking life that you say you did.
Yeah, exactly.
And I'm on the page of I agree with the sentiment and I just ignore anybody who contradicts themselves.
Sorry.
And to be fair to you, hypocrisy on either side doesn't bother you as much.
We are people who are really bothered by hypocrisy.
So it's like, look, I agree with what you want, but like this shit is not cool.
I got it.
On either side, we don't like it.
It's like division on either side.
Like this kid, Madison Cawthorn, did you see him?
He's like the youngest person to be elected to the House of Representatives.
This pretty ass kid from North Carolina.
No legs.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
He tweeted some shit.
No legs?
Yeah, they don't work.
He's like Avatar, I think.
He's like in a wheelchair.
But he posted some shit where he's like, after he won, he just tweets, Cry More Lib.
And it's like, all right, dude.
You know what I mean?
Like, you just got elected in your district or whatever, but like you're antagonizing liberals that live there.
Like, you're a politician.
Like, try to govern your entire constituency and not just people that voted for you.
Yeah.
How about take some ice cream out the freezer?
Hypocrisy On Both Sides00:03:26
Come on.
You could think of something high.
It's the higher portion.
It's the higher level.
The freezer is lower now.
Y'all fuck.
Y'all are fancy.
I forgot, dude.
Yo, my father.
I got the whole fridge this freezer.
Some ice cues, bro.
Come on.
Chase a light bulb.
You could just get it there.
I still can't get the light bulb, bro.
I need a little help for that.
What can't wheelchair people do, dude?
I mean, that's a pretty clear answer to that.
Walk, yeah.
I couldn't go with walk.
It's so obvious.
Yeah.
That's true.
Climb stairs.
Climb stairs.
Yeah, they could do that without the legs.
What's a good, like, diss on the bottom?
Yeah, I bet wheelchair people get better back than you.
I don't know, though.
If that's your only position, they perfected that.
Yeah, but the tribes got to like sit on their bony pelvis and shit.
It's probably all uncomfortable and stuff like that.
Mad, emaciated.
And also, I don't know how much of my legs I use when I'm on top.
I'm more like rocking forward.
I go on my elephant seat, bro.
That's what I look like.
I just do a plank on my elbows.
I just rock forward and back.
I almost sound like that, too.
That's me, bro.
You gotta get them knees down.
You gotta dig in, son.
Nah, bro.
Sometimes I see dudes.
Like, I'll see like.
You see dudes?
Yeah, like they're like Chippendale's dudes and shit like that doing all those moves dancing.
I'm like, am I supposed to do that?
Fuck it, bro.
Like, are people really doing that?
On their toes?
Like, no, you got to do girl push-ups, bro.
Go to the knees.
You know the ones where they like, they like, well, they'll dance on top of a girl.
They'll lay the girl down and they'll do all those like crazy moves.
Yeah, the one-handed push-up and like wave and shit.
Fuck out of here, bro.
What if I fall out?
I got to take another three minutes to get my dick back in that shit.
You know what I mean?
Come on now.
Hold on now, Beth.
Let me find it.
Start breathing real heavy.
Hold on, it done dried up on me.
Hold on, hold on.
Anywho, um, yeah, I was a wild boy the other day, son.
What'd you do?
I fucked on a heavy day.
Whoa, yeah, whoa, yeah, on your sheets, or you went into the nah.
We put some towel down in preparation.
Nah, bro, I don't do that.
I don't know why.
I don't know what got over.
It's crazy, bro.
Why not go into the shower, pipe in the shower?
It was a little celebration.
Say what?
It was a little celebration.
Well, y'all said her period.
We were celebrating that.
You would celebrate a fucking ball.
Good job, babe.
Well, saved us 315 bucks.
All right, go.
What was the celebration?
Yeah, just good things going on around it.
Okay.
Saturday celebration.
So you were feeling, you were feeling yourself, and she was on that heavy, but you just had to do it.
You were thinking about Kamala and Joe the whole time.
Hey, we're getting red out everywhere, yo.
The country went blue, but my sheets went red.
Bro.
I'm not going to lie, man.
Last time I had sex on my fiancé, period.
Is that the only way you said?
Yeah, dude.
Like Tristan?
Tristan.
Fucking Tristan.
Last time I had sex on my Fiancé's period, it was in the shower.
I saw some of that blood, bro.
Oh, no.
You don't look down.
You are.
Nah, I look down.
I felt like you did work, probably.
Son, I kind of got turnt on.
Bro, I kind of got turnt on.
It's kind of like primal.
Vaccine Efficacy Debate00:04:39
It is.
I saw that.
Everybody looked down at it.
It was hot.
And my girl got all embarrassed.
Like, she's trying to wipe the blood that's on the floor of the shower away.
And I'm like, leave it.
That's right, bro.
You in nature, man.
Yo, it's not bad that period.
Sex.
Then the second you bust, you're like, get the fuck up.
Right?
Seggy, baby, why are you bleeding everywhere?
What's happening?
Like, every time your primal sheet goes out the window, right?
I want the comforts of home and a freezer on the bottom.
Oh, fuck.
What else we got, Al?
You got some feelings?
No facts?
We got a big story, yo.
Yeah, they said, go, go.
Let's take Trump, son.
Say what?
That's what we're talking about.
They set Trump up.
Set Trump up, yo.
Set Trump up for what?
So after he loses, we got the cure.
Got the vaccine back to you.
Motherfucking Monday.
You know what that shit's about?
What'd you think?
I don't think they trusted Trump to administer it, bro.
I mean, that sincerely.
What do you mean?
Did they announce it?
I think that they announced it this way because it's probably going to take Pfizer.
Let's just tell the people.
Pfizer announced that they have a vaccine and it's 90% effective.
And stocks are skyrocketing as we speak.
Everything is up, bro.
Except Amazon, apparently.
Well, yeah, the stocks that were killed by Corona are up, and the stocks that did great during Corona are down.
So, like, Amazon thrives in Corona.
And if Corona's over, it's going to come down a little bit To a realistic number.
Amazon's obviously going to always be around.
But airplane stocks went crazy because motherfuckers are going to start traveling again because they're not terrified of the airports.
But I think what this is is because it's probably going to take them, what, like six months or something like that to get enough of these.
Yeah.
The big issue is the cool chain.
That's what they call it.
They call it like the cool chain system.
So basically, like being able to transport vaccines at scale at like super low temperatures, because they have to stay like at like and you have to do that to 300 and well, they're saying 330 million people, probably 200 million people have to take it.
Don't need specialized trucks, specialized airplanes, all this to keep it at like negative 100 degrees or whatever.
And I think the argument with kids is they might not need it, but if they can give it to people yeah, you might want your kid to have it right, but one whatever, it doesn't matter.
The point is um, if it's gonna take six or nine months to get this to everybody, maybe what they did is they held on as long as they possibly could, because they were like we don't believe Trump has the ability or the wherewithal to execute the admit, the administration of this drug.
To wait six months yeah, not even uh, wait six months, but like we don't know if he'll be able to do it.
So maybe they had it three months ago and maybe this is what Trump kept on talking about.
It's any day now, it's any day now.
And they were like need a few more minutes.
Yeah, because they're like we think you'll botch this.
You've botched Corona.
We think you'll botch this.
That's what I was talking to some of my like political folks.
They're like this has probably been ready for a while.
Right, and there's no.
I mean, if this is not a coincidence that they mentioned it the day after they confirmed the bias.
Right, because Trump might not be involved in the literal like passing out and like transportation of the drug, but he could put out a tweet like i'm not getting no vaccine or whatever.
Not only he put he could probably put that out right now and still it up maybe, but like, not only that, but like he might try to rush it.
He might go, well, who needs all the fucking cooling systems?
Let's go it out there.
He might be so anxious to get this drug to the people that he would risk the efficacy I believe the term is of the drug and that's why maybe there's some pushback.
So like I don't know, I mean, but also you look at that.
You're like oh, that's kind of foul that you play politics lives right there.
Like that's foul.
If you had this shit six months ago, somebody's mom is dead because you didn't put it out.
No no no no, I I don't think that's the case because uh, trials take a really long time.
So it's like I just think they're at the 90 effective rate because of the latest results of the trials going on.
That's what they're saying.
So, and they were just really happy to report that.
I still don't think it's ready for a distribution a monday.
A monday news break though, two days after the election, seems so blatant.
Maybe it's it's so blatant, it can't be on purpose.
But like Trump is gone saturday, the next moment you can drop news basically, hey 90, uh efficacy on this vaccine, let's go.
Also, during the debate they were like, yo Trump, you have a vaccine.
He was like, yeah, it's coming.
Like apparently really good results.
And everyone called him a liar.
Biden called him a liar in the debate.
He's like, nah, he's lying, he's not lying, turns out yeah, but what happens when you lie so much?
Yeah, the boy who cried wolf, or the girl, whoever it was, it was a girl or a boy, it was a boy, it was a boy.
Yeah, why are you scared of that wolf?
Kamala Harris Prison Reform00:03:08
Yo just run son.
Yeah, go inside, go inside.
Don't you got an inside?
You're not gonna outrun a wolf.
My gosh, come on, bro.
And wolves Wolves, don't play.
Yeah, you can only outrun bears and lions.
Yeah, outrun a bear, obviously.
Get out of here.
Lions, I'm thinking differently now.
Oh, now?
Yeah, because I've seen the side to side, but bears pigeon-toed.
I'll run out, I'll outrun anything pigeon-toed.
Also, there's been a lot of uh controversy over Taylor's claim that she ran a lot.
Oh, yeah, we're looking at when she's back.
When she's back, we're gonna have a whole conversation.
I brought that up on idiots, I brought that up on idiots, right?
Yeah, she said she ran at 11-6, right?
Someone in the flagrant.
I can't believe it because I don't know what that means.
Yo, someone in the flagrant Reddit did a whole breakdown of mile per hour, mile per hour with a bear compared, like analysis compared to DK Metcalf.
DK Metcalf is this wide receiver for the Seattle Seahawks, maybe the fastest man in the league.
Yeah, one of the fastest guys in the league.
And I think when he ran down Buddha Baker, he was running at like 22 miles per hour.
And Taylor's pace is like 24 miles per hour or some shit, man.
Get the fuck out of here.
We gotta call her on.
When she gets back, we gotta call her.
100%.
We gotta all race her.
I'll race her broken.
I'll let y'all do that.
I'll come in last to prove a point.
Because I won't be trailing her by that much.
You'll be second to last.
Control group.
Control group, bro.
YouTube top.
You couldn't even outrun a fucking Swiss prisoner or whatever, the fuck police officer.
Yeah, yeah.
Sweden.
Bobblab, bobblab.
Yeah, you die to Biden, bro.
Talk about some stormy knives or whatever.
So, what else we got, man?
Some feelings, no facts.
Did we make fun of the fact that Kim voted for I did on social, but you know, the thing is for me is like, what a fucking like, yo, stylebender commented this shit, cracked me up.
He said, uh, that's a clout trout.
Yo, clout trout.
Clout trout.
That is clout trout.
It's hilarious.
But that's what these people will do, man.
So many layers to that.
That's so good.
Yeah.
The lips.
Not only both lips.
It would be like a trout.
Yeah.
Trout snapper or something.
So the thing is, like, when your whole like life is based around clout or like likes or social media attention, you don't even realize your own hypocrisy.
So there's this picture that she posts of Biden and Kamala.
And she puts four blue hearts.
Blue hearts, mind you.
Not red hearts.
Like, you know, her ass been voting, right?
She gets behind Biden.
This is the levels of hypocrisy behind this are unbelievable.
She gets behind Biden and Kamala.
What is the one thing that she worked with Trump on?
Freeing Alex Johnson, I think it was prison reform.
Yeah, prison reform.
I want to work on prison reform, right?
Oh, that's a good point.
Kamala.
Locking motherfuckers up left and right in California for nothing, mind you.
Blocking evidence that could potentially freedom, right?
Biden, the crime bill done, getting people locked up left and right.
Matter of fact, the people that Kim is freeing are probably on some level locked up because of Biden crime bills.
How the fuck are you going to put these blue hearts now?
Kardashians Social Status Clout00:14:38
I understand if you're trying to do some like unity shit, but then you don't heart it.
You go, I understand we might have our disagreements, but I'm looking forward to working with you on crime reform, something like that.
Don't just throw these fucking hearts, not to mention your husband ran.
Your husband ran for president.
How the fuck could you possibly put that up?
Your husband ran.
And if you knew your husband ran as some massive ploy for attention, if this was just a big PR move and you knew the whole fucking time, fuck you.
Yeah.
Don't act like you're some activist out here trying to make change and you're going to let your husband potentially peel away votes from one candidate so that could either help or affect negatively a result that you wanted.
Do you see what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Like this woman, bro, so easy to hate, man.
So easy.
Like, how do you make yourself so easy to hate?
And don't get me wrong, I understand girls want to dress like them and all that kind of shit.
And they're like, fashion.
Change the world.
Fashionistas.
And low-key, like part of like Kanye's brand being so valuable.
I'm starting to think is like, is it just because these Kardashian girls have so much goddamn clout when it comes to clothing and they all put that shit on?
They made it look hot.
Like I really am starting to wonder, like, is Kanye the reason why his shit is so successful?
Or does he happen to be married to the biggest influencers on the planet, especially in the clothing department?
And they single-handedly built that shit for Kanye.
One thing I'll give Kanye is that he kind of elevated Kim's fashion game when they got together.
But their influence on fashion was still pretty big.
Years.
Like they were in high fashion.
Like he was, his sneakers were killing it before Kim.
The Yeezys, I think, were pretty big before Kim around it.
They literally owned a store that sold clothes called Dash.
That was what they did for a living.
No, I know, but I mean, like, she wasn't respected in the high fashion world.
She was still looked at as just like a video vixen or whatever the case is.
And then he got her on like the vanity fairs and those bigger type of magazines.
Fair enough, maybe.
But I think that the regular average female was looking at what she was wearing and going, I want to wear that.
And now literally all of them, if any of them wear a bag, that bag is sold out.
If any of them wear a pair of pants, those pants are sold out.
They wear sandals, those things are sold out.
Anything that they put on is gold.
It's like when a first lady wears some shit, maybe not Melania, but remember when Michelle put on a dress and that shit was off the shelves?
So I'm starting to think, like, all right, so maybe you guys are really at least partially responsible for using that.
They got to, right?
I don't know.
It's just such fraudulence.
I see that shit.
You should watch her with Dave Letterman.
Oh, yeah.
I did the first part of that.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
It's like, I think she's been doing this whole social media clout thing for so long.
She's convinced.
Like, it's not a lie anymore.
It's not bullshit.
She, Andrew Dice Clayton.
She like started to believe this character that she's put up.
Like, she actually sounds genuine about the law and getting people out.
Like, she really is about that.
She mentioned Armenia at all?
No.
Interesting, huh?
I'm telling you.
Like, these fucking frauds, son.
You know why she don't mention that shit?
Because it could hurt her.
Why?
Because it could hurt her.
How?
Maybe these people, maybe they're not enough Armenians out there.
Maybe she got a lot more Turkish fans.
Maybe she got a lot more Azerbaijani fans.
And maybe she got a lot more support for whatever, the opposite side of that cause.
And all of a sudden, you're not Armenian enough to help.
I haven't seen Kanye tweeting about that shit at all.
I'm the same.
Some shit was popping in India.
I'm tweeting.
Regardless of how much it hurts you.
Yep.
I don't know.
He didn't tweet at all about Alex Trebeck, which is kind of fucked up.
Why?
Bro, all the Indians love him.
Arkash didn't tweet once about him.
Yo.
Yo, maybe you right now.
I was trying to bail Mark out of that, but then I didn't know.
I didn't know where.
I said, yo, I was hoping my brain would click on something.
I was trying to.
I was trying to get it.
I was just waiting to see what he was doing.
I was just waiting to see what he goes with because I was just going to pile on to that.
What the fuck are you talking about for $1,000?
I was like, thank God.
We'll talk for a second.
I was like, yo, is Alex Trebeck Indian?
For a second, I really thought.
He's an Indian icon.
He's maybe an icon.
Anyway, the point is, the point is just phonies.
Can we all just like play, bro?
Why does this shit...
Why do we get caught up?
Why do we tolerate?
Why are phonies so fucking tolerable?
I don't understand why other people tolerate them.
And that's what drives me crazy.
Y'all don't see the fucking fraudulence.
Why is that cool with y'all?
And everybody else is like, yeah, it don't bother me that much.
And I think there's some fraudulence in me that I hate.
So when I see another people, I'm like, ah, fuck that guy because I hate that about myself on some deep level that I don't get yet.
But I hate fraudulence and hypocrisy.
Like, I can't do it.
I'm out.
It could possibly just be my internet feed, but it seems like there's a lot more of them than there are regular people.
And that drives me crazy.
Wait, wait, go on that.
So like all the fake, phony stage pictures, fake bodies, all that shit, like Kardashian-esque people.
I just tend to see a lot more of that being promoted and people buying into it.
Like, if you're a girl, right?
And I'm sure like we'll find a way where we should do this as well.
But if you're a girl, you shouldn't exalt the phony image of what a girl is because it only makes your life more difficult.
See what I'm saying?
Like, if you're a girl and you don't have the money to buy fake tits and you don't have the money to buy fake ass and you don't have money to buy all these like surgeries that you do on your face and like the most expensive hair extensions and all this Photoshop and all that other shit, you shouldn't put those girls on a pedestal, not pedal, peda, pedestal.
I got it.
You shouldn't put those girls on a pedestal because now your life is that much diff more difficult.
You look that much uglier.
You look that much more unacceptable.
Like if anything, you should be promoting Lizzo or these other like fat bitches out there because it just makes you look that much more beautiful.
Does that make sense?
Because it's not men that promote the Kardashians.
Yeah, we'll be like, yo, she got fat ass, but it's like, there's a million girls with fat asses on the internet.
We do not promote these women.
This is women promoting these women that we are not asking them to promote.
That's damaging their own crop.
This hurt.
Yeah.
Like to me, it's mind-boggling.
And I don't understand.
Please make sense of it for me.
And maybe, guys, we do this on some level.
I'm trying to think, how do we do this?
We like the pictures or scroll and not like them, but look at it for a really long time.
Just let me understand this out.
They're doing it because we reward it.
Yes.
In other words, like they are living up to that image because they look at what we like.
Yes.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
So men do it with hip-hop culture.
Yeah, I'm trying to understand.
Give me a second.
Because hip-hop culture is all, I have the most money.
I'm the hardest dude.
I'm the toughest motherfucker.
I'm the baddest dude on earth and rich.
All this shit.
They put a standard of what the ideal guy should be.
And then we fuck with it.
And we're like, yeah, we want to be like those guys.
And then women are like, yeah, I want you to be like those guys too because they're rich and they're bad as fuck.
And like, they'll kill a motherfucker who disrespects me.
Let's ride.
And then we're all like, you know what I mean?
Like, we're feeding into it also.
Like me, 10 years ago, I would have agreed with you, but now it's like, I don't, I don't know if the young gangster appearance rappers are that effective or that like influential as they used to be.
That's true.
I'm 36.
So Mark, I don't know, though.
I think the culture is still dictated by the influencer.
Like, I don't think that that's changed.
I think maybe the influence has changed in terms of what they're peddling.
I don't think like gangbanging and like killing people and shit is as much as a part of rap now as it was maybe 15 years ago.
Yeah.
But I do think that is it still aspirational?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, but you can aspire to have other shit.
Like maybe aspiring to have like a house with a pool is doper than aspiring to be like the most gangster dude on the block.
But those things still bleed into each other though.
So like I think like the entrepreneurial spirit is another like big cultural influencer that people are aspiring to.
But all of those goods that are like seized in that pursuit of entrepreneurship are the same thing as that.
It's like money, cars, like hot chicks.
So like those values and those goods haven't changed, but maybe like the pursuit has changed slightly.
Yeah, just because the entrepreneurial pursuit is a lot more relatable.
It's like, I know I'm not joining a gang.
Yeah.
I know I'm not going to like start hustling, selling drugs.
I could start hustling something legal.
I should start my little side businesses.
I could be like a boss or whatever, boss up.
And the outcome's the same.
But we are still raising women's standards by trying to be the richest motherfucker, the best entrepreneur, the bad person.
Yeah, and I don't know if that ever changes because it's something that's like real and accessible.
And I guess the thing that like is so shocking about the Kardashians, and maybe it kind of brings us full circle that conversation we were having earlier just about like plastic surgery in general.
It's like, yet they get to elevate their status.
Like a woman gets to elevate her social status in the world.
An unbelievable, like an unbelievable return on investment with surgery.
Yeah, beauty is currency for women.
Currency is currency for us.
Exactly.
So it's like that Chris Rock joke where he was talking about his wife.
He's like, everything you do, I could pay someone to do.
You can't pay someone to pay for shit.
Right, right.
You know what I mean?
Like, I could pay for someone to watch the kids.
I can pay for someone to make dinner.
I can pay for someone to clean the house.
I can't pay for someone to pay for shit.
Right.
And at the end of the day, the buck stops with dudes.
It's like, we can't pay for someone to pay for shit.
Right.
So girls, because of evolution, whatever we want to call it, like their value a lot of times in society, at least superficially, is going to be their looks.
And you can pay a very small amount of money to increase your looks that has an unbelievable return on that investment.
I mean, think about all the girls that we've seen.
A Kylie Jenner.
That bitch a billionaire, maybe.
She was an ugly girl.
I mean, it feels cruel even saying it.
Pre-op, Kylie, nothing, no influence whatsoever.
Did we ever finish that in terms of the plastic surgery for our kids?
Yeah.
And I think that's why we come full circle.
It's like, that's why on some level, what's most important to me is that my kid loves themselves and appreciates themselves because I think that's going to carry itself, carry itself throughout every relationship she's in, every business opportunity that she has.
Like she's got to know her value, right?
And can't just believe that she can just inject and chop away to make her worth something.
You got to be worth something before if you're a girl specifically.
But the ability for her to like up her status, $5,000 for a fucking nose job, whatever it is, and then your status is increased by double?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I think, I think the question he was asking before is like, what starts that?
Like, is that women just being like, yo, I'm going to get the nose job because it's better?
Or are they doing it to then fit into the norm of like the male gays?
I think they're doing it.
Male gays.
So yes, but at the same time, it's like, what is the norm?
I'm sure you go certain places in the world where they got some schnazelines and all of a sudden that's the norm.
Yeah, I think France did like the most popular surgeries, breast reduction, or like one of the more popular ones.
It's more breast reduction is more popular than boots.
Than breast implants.
It is the gay.
Yeah, that's a super gay punch.
It is.
No, it's not.
Can we stop it?
That's so gay.
Do they do forehead reduction?
Your head titty.
But in all seriousness.
It's not the gays.
It is, though.
In all seriousness, though, that's interesting.
It's like, maybe culturally, that's something girls got to shift.
Do girls got to make that shift?
Or is that something that we got to make that shift?
It's a chicken or egg.
It is, right?
Because if they stop fucking with it, we ain't going to stop fucking them.
Yeah.
Like, that's the thing women got to realize.
It's you the only one.
I used to try to do a joke about this, but it's like, you the only ones with a pussy.
Yeah.
It's not like we can go to something.
If women were like, nah, we're not shaving our legs anymore.
It's not like we're going to be like, all right, well, we fucking orangutan.
Like, we're going to fuck you.
Yeah.
Whatever you give us.
Yeah.
We're going to fuck you.
Guaranteed.
So you could dictate what beauty is.
We would go along with it.
Girls were shaving aside their heads for a while.
Dudes were still fucking them.
Hipster motherfuckers.
Do you know what I mean?
Girls wear these like baggy boy jeans.
We still fuck them.
They wear tight jeans.
We still fuck them.
No matter what they wear, we still gonna fuck them.
Why they put themselves through this hell?
Yeah, I don't know.
I think it's like, I think that was also part of like the nascent stages of like the body positivity movement.
It's like when it starts, they're trying to be like...
Do the right thing.
Yeah, like you love yourself and like we don't have to, you know, have all these perfect things, blah, blah, blah.
But then that just like spirals off into something different.
Everybody's got to can, what is it?
It's the same thing with like creating laws.
As like a congressman, you want to feel like you've done something to like improve your district.
So a lot of these congressmen like put up these laws like the don't rape woman law.
Right.
And it's like you get even more extreme versions of the same law.
Like we all agree, like don't rape or assault women at all.
But that's the easiest law to get passed because nobody says don't do it.
So kind of like Colorado is these like insanely strict rules about sexual assault and they define it in like the craziest ways.
Like something we might call harassment, they might actually call like assault.
Right.
And I think that's what happens in these movements.
It's like a competition for who can be the wokest.
No, I wonder if it, if it's like, if it's like the public goods dilemma, you ever heard of this?
There's like a thing that I learned at school, basically, like where if you play a game with people where you basically have like five or 10 bucks and like I'm gonna mess up the like logistics of the game, but like you can either put in five dollars or ten dollars and then whatever the pot is, it gets doubled and then everyone gets money back.
Yep.
So the best position to be in in the game, like if everyone puts in money, you get money back and then everyone, everyone's wealth increases.
That's the public good that everyone benefits from.
But if you don't put in money, your wealth goes up more than everyone else's.
So it's like you put in no sacrifice and then you get the most.
And then everyone else kind of gets privy to what's going on and then no one puts in money.
And then the public good depletes.
So I wonder if it's like that with like body positivity or like female like surgery essentially.
Yeah, where it's like, oh yeah, no, we should all love ourselves, but I ain't gonna be the one to sacrifice.
Yeah, but I ain't gonna be the first one.
So yeah, I'm gonna be the first one.
If you're gonna win it, I'm not gonna do it either.
Yeah, and then when you make that first sacrifice, you're the only bitch with hair in her legs.
You're not getting no dick.
You're not getting no attention at the club.
You're not getting anything.
You need everyone to come on board.
But then once everyone comes on board, then you can do little things to then give yourself an edge.
And then it creams back.
Human beings, we will do that.
And maybe that's the reason why you have Marxism or communism or these things don't work is because we actually in our DNA don't want to be equal completely.
We want to have hierarchies.
We want to find ways to have competitive advantages with the people we're around, or at least like until we have a major.
Competition is kind of built into our DNA, isn't it?
You want to be the person that survives.
Yeah.
So like in every species, survival of the fittest, you got to survive.
So you have to find like a system that feeds that.
Yeah.
You have to find like a system that feeds the primal urge and like, but doesn't cripple all the people in the process.
Right.
We can't kill ourselves in the process to like wanting to win.
We have to evolve past that, but it's in our DNA.
Protecting Your Daughter From Men00:16:16
It's locked in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's tricky, man.
I don't know.
I wish Taylor was here.
We could talk about it because I'm sure chicks get tired of this shit.
Lady assholes, listen, like be honest, yo.
Y'all get tired of it.
Putting off fake eyelashes every time you try to go meet a guy or some shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe that's why like, oh shit, maybe that's why like sluttiness has increased.
You want a return on your investment for the night.
It's like you put on the eyelashes, you put on the makeup, you put on these uncomfortable ass shoes and you're going to not get dicked.
You got to get your money going.
Yeah.
Imagine you did all that shit.
Like, imagine you buying a trip.
You know, you put on a flight.
You got no hotel.
You get to dinner, all this stuff.
You're like, I want some booze shit.
Even if she catfishes me, the fish is getting fried.
Right?
There's going to be, you want some sort of return, no?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I wonder if girls feel that way a little too.
Yeah.
You go out with a matching underwear and nothing happens.
Someone's seeing this underwear.
Like even when the date's over, you got to find another club.
You got to find something.
Yeah.
Do they look at it like that?
Or do they view themselves as the catch and therefore they're trying to like protect themselves from being caught?
They want to be the shiniest object, but they still want the glass case in front of it to make sure that they're not chosen.
That they are the ones that are doing the choosing.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think over time that glass shield has gone down.
I think like we're approaching a time where it's definitely not equal, but women can be as much hoes as guys can.
Like we're very close to that equal playing field.
And it's a beautiful thing.
You like that?
Do you like that?
Like, are we worried about that for kids and shit?
No.
I don't want my daughter getting just smirks because I think it's more healthy.
It's more so like how Europe is.
Like they're just so like open about sexuality where it's like, it's not taboo.
So now they don't have to, it doesn't become the thing that, oh, I can't do.
So now I want to do it.
Man, when I remember when I was in Europe, man, I was dating this girl and I went to her.
I went to go visit her in like Denmark or whatever like that.
And I was staying with her and her family.
And like I was staying with her in like her room or whatever.
I remember like looking at the pops like such a creep.
You just gonna let me smash your daughter in your house, bro.
But come on, bro.
Maybe sleep on the couch or some shit.
Maybe sleep in some other room.
I'm not gonna just dick down your daughter in our fucking house.
How old is this?
Huh?
How old?
Like 21.
You wasn't fucking at 21 in the middle of the day.
I was definitely fucking the shit out of his daughter, bro.
Don't get twisted.
No, but I'm saying you.
For America, bro.
You.
For America.
You come on, man.
In your house.
For America.
Copenhagen.
Real talk, dude.
I was playing Bruce Springsteen while I was doing that shit.
Born in the USA.
Nothing being parked out of you.
There's the hypocrisy bullshit right here.
Nah, what are you talking about?
Because you were in your parents' crib fucking.
Yeah, but you were being sneaky.
Nah, nah, nah.
He's saying it's the fact that his dad just was okay with the openness of it.
Oh, yeah, oh, you're not.
Like, you're not fucking my daughter in my house.
Make him sneak around.
But you're not fucking.
My daughter in my house, bro.
Yeah, he's fucking other people's daughters in his house.
Yeah.
He's not going to fuck.
He's not even a fucking person.
No, no, no, no.
You could live.
My son could fuck his girl in my house, but you're not going to fuck my daughter in my house, bro.
Go to your parents' house.
Like me, like, I got a relationship with her.
As a father, I got to have a relationship with your girls, my son's girl's dad.
And it's like this: like, yo, son, yo, my son is smashing your girl to fuck out.
You know, she's squealing crazy.
You know what I mean?
Oink, oink, shower time, bro.
That's no gambling.
Red wave.
Real talk.
The red wave.
It's like, yo, why don't you put some bleach on the man?
Because we need a clean.
That's what it is.
But at the same time, I'll be like, I respect if you don't want your daughter getting smithereened in your home.
Yeah.
You pay the rent there.
You pay electricity.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Smoke damage from the fucking smithereens getting.
The smithereens just getting smoked out.
Come on.
You could take some of her.
You could put her on a big with Kareem cheese after what my son's doing to it.
That's smoked.
That salmon is smoked.
You got the locks of the capers, huh?
So you're on a square daughter being smoked out.
You're okay with your daughter being smoked out as long as it's not in your house.
No, no.
My daughter is never getting smitherented out.
Even though she is, she isn't.
I'm with you 100%.
She is, but she isn't.
Like, I don't even hear about it.
Like, I'm looking at her, and I know when she's like, hey, I'm not coming home tonight.
I'm going to stay at Daryl's house or whatever.
I'm looking at her.
I'm like, listen here, bitch.
Yo, you keep that shot.
But you know, she's chicken, but you know, she's not.
Say what?
But you know she not.
I know she's going to be throwing him.
Oh my God.
I reached your limit.
I'm trying to be on production.
Mom's fall getting these goddamn ice pops ever since she was a kid giving this bitch practice.
Sammy.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
She just tearing the tops off like this foreskin on a gym.
Yeah, what?
That's how they used to circumcise them.
I don't like that.
They used to circumcise them like that.
You didn't know that?
Come on, dude.
Come on, bro.
That's that brisk.
Damn, I'm just being a wheelchair with that shit.
You never seen some Hasidic Jews, eat some ice pops, bro.
They tearing that shit off the top so quick.
Suck it real fast.
Oh, dude, they open it.
They never use a scissor, nothing.
Just get to eating, bro.
Come on.
I don't know.
But no, I'm with you, though.
I'm with you.
Come on, bro.
My daughter marries a nice guy.
They have a kid.
I'll be like, that's weird.
You adopted.
How y'all got a kid?
Yeah.
How y'all get?
Why are you pregnant?
I'm playing dumb.
How did you get pregnant?
Oh, did that guy that I've been feeding and shaking hand with bust come in you?
I'm not saying that.
What happened?
I'm not saying that.
That's horrifying.
But he's bust coming up.
Can you make it a point to let everybody know that you fuck like I fuck your daughter?
I fuck your son.
You need my approval.
I fuck your daughter.
I fuck your sister.
You need my approval.
That's you.
You're the guy.
You got to write the first.
I ain't fucking your son, bro.
You made me feel gay right now.
Let me tell you something.
That's a good question.
Let me tell you something.
If I was gay, you not fucking my son, bro.
If I had a gay son, I'd make a damn shit.
Fucking my son.
Would you let him smoke it out, though?
Oh, he is handling the basket.
Yo, let me tell you something.
I'll be knocking on the door.
I'm being, keep going.
I'll be putting on queen.
I'll be putting on all that gay shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Whatever gay music you need.
Who else?
Why?
You a gay guy.
Fat bottom girls.
Yo, turn this straight shit off.
Roxo.
Roxo.
Yo, real talk.
I'm not my son not getting smoked out, bro.
We're not going to be versatile out here, though.
You got to be a top.
In my house, it's tops only.
Yeah.
Other people's house, you get bottomed out.
I don't want to hear about it.
You know what I mean?
Can't go to the gym today.
I'm a little sore.
Shut your goddamn mouth about that shit, dude.
I don't want to hear you a little sword.
Going over speed bumps, bro.
Get bottomed out.
I don't hear, man.
You really want to hear about that speed bump?
Come on, dude.
You don't want to hear about that.
Your daughter or your son getting smoked?
Nah.
What if he's a top, but he's still getting throated?
Man, so he's sucking that.
He's sucking that.
Yeah.
So he's getting throaty.
He's getting throated.
The dangly thing.
Imagine you heard the gag reflex coming from your.
I heard my own son gag all day.
Oh, my God.
Oh, dude, that's very difficult, bro.
That's super difficult.
He's going to bust in, give him the Heimlick and shit.
You got to save your kid's life from cum that got lodged in his throat.
Imagine you busting the room.
I'm like, what's lodging his throat?
His buddy's just there cleaning come out of his dick.
We're playing Xbox or something.
Bro.
You gotta give him mouth to mouth.
Nah, you gotta just let him.
You gotta let him handle that, bro.
What if your son runs past you to go spit in the sink?
Oh, my God.
Okay, gotcha.
Nah, nah.
Nah, you're not gonna spit in my sink.
At least he's spitting.
He's not swallowing.
You're not spitting in my song.
You're gonna be sitting in the sky.
Not in my sink.
He got swallowed.
Run your ass outside.
Yeah.
Look at this.
Run your ass outside.
You're not swallowed in my sink.
Me watching.
You're not spitting in my sink either.
Stop sucking dick in my mouth.
I'm just up there.
I'm an angry dad.
Like, I don't even get my dick sucked anymore.
How you get your dick sock?
Why don't you just walk out like this?
Oh, my God.
No, like you just got a face shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, come on, bro.
Nobody talks about that part of having a gay kid.
Like, nobody ever talks about that.
Like, I'm totally fine with you being gay.
Just don't be all gay about it, dude.
In my house, like, being in love with men and wanting to love men, but I don't want you getting smoked out.
Trust us back in the old days.
Yeah, aren't there places for this?
There's got to be places for this, dude.
Come on.
It's progressive out there.
3.3 full of come in my home.
Yeah, Ray here's much less progressive.
You can't have this goddamn jelly donut walking around my house.
Come on.
Little boss and cream pie walking around.
Traveling all over the living room.
Come on, dude.
Play Hansel and Gretel all over the goddamn living room.
You've got a younger sister, dude.
What kind of example are you setting?
I thought you were going some other way.
No, I wasn't, bro.
You're crazy.
Got a younger sister, dude.
She's stuck in the dryer right now.
What are you doing?
Come on, dude.
You start a white boy and son.
I say, you get on a rock.
Who brought us there?
Nah, you brought us there.
One of y'all brought us there.
It was you.
It was one of y'all.
The Browns done brought us there.
One of y'all says some shit about, like, would you, what would you do?
Yeah, we're thinking of it.
You said that is some real weird.
No, he got us there because you said he was fucking the daughters and the sons.
Oh, yeah.
And you try to make me gay.
Yeah, I'm off the company.
That was sneaky.
I'll be alone here.
How dare you, bro?
Yo, anyway, bro.
I don't know.
That's a real tricky one, man.
It's going to be difficult for me to go through that.
Would you rather your daughter get smoked out in your home or plastic surgery?
I'm not against my daughter getting plastic surgery.
What I'm against is my daughter not loving herself.
Because I feel like I got failed as a why is she getting smoked out by some random dude in your house, though.
You didn't say random.
Ain't gonna be no random guy walks into my house.
You're not gonna fuck my daughter without saying hello to me first.
You know what I mean?
And don't be no like, hey, how you doing?
And go up to the room and smoke out my daughter.
That's disrespectful.
That's disrespectful.
You feel me?
A little bit like.
You got fucking, even if you talk to me, then you think you can just fuck my daughter.
You're the fire going on.
You're a fucking mind?
All right, all right.
So I'm the dad.
Go.
You knock at the door.
Come.
Yo, what's up?
Oh, your dad's black.
That's the first thing I'm going to say.
Go on.
Better than the dad boyfriend.
Wait a minute.
What's going on?
What's the scenario?
I'm still the dad.
I'm the dad.
You're dating my daughter.
You come.
You knock at the door.
Who am I?
No, no, but it's my house I'm worried about.
Yeah.
We're not talking about you.
I'm the dad.
Tell us how to do that.
You're the son.
Can I be someone?
No, shut up, Martin.
You're the girl.
You're the doorknob.
Someone grab him.
Okay, you go.
You go.
You said that the dude can't just come and say hi to you and go fucking.
You show up.
Okay.
All right.
I'm the kid.
I'm fucking up.
I'll show you what you can or can't do.
Hell yeah.
Yo, but wait.
What's your daughter?
Does your daughter have your nose, though?
Because it might not.
No, that hurt my feelings, bro.
That would hurt my feelings.
You're not going to get a celebrity video all over again, bro.
That one hurt my feelings.
One tear.
He's like, damn.
That shit got me choked up.
Wait, no, we're talking about post-op.
What?
Wait, he wants him to want to fuck your daughter?
My unborn daughter, bro.
This guy wants to fucking daughter.
Hey, Al, can we talk about your unborn daughter?
So which one?
I'll sing a fucking DMX video.
Letitia, Christica, Krishna.
No, no.
It all says, all right.
She got the hook nose or not.
It doesn't matter.
Beautiful young lady.
I'm coming to smash it out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
Knock, knock, knock.
Okay.
Knocks on the door.
Nah, this is my.
This motherfucker.
You just grabbed my door dick.
Grandma Door Dick and I do.
Stop it.
You did.
You just throw some at him, dog.
You did it.
Okay, go.
You know what we need is just like, we don't have a tank of water that he could be sitting on top of, but ideally, for the tank of water.
We need the Nickelodeon glue or whatever.
The slime.
The slime.
He called it glue.
Bro, how poor was Alex Clawing up?
He didn't know what slime was, bro.
You know the boogers when the boogers be going there?
Fucking Nickelodeon lights TV.
We had the hot box, man.
Sometimes, what?
Go, go, go, go.
So you knock on the door, right?
Shut up, Mark.
Good.
Welcome.
Welcome.
Alex, it's nice to meet you.
I heard a lot about you.
Nice to meet you too, Ms. Schultz.
I'm here to see Verodica.
I know who you're here to see, motherfucker.
You ain't here to see my wife, motherfucker.
You're obviously here to see my daughter.
You're a very beautiful daughter.
Thank you.
Will I be able to take her up?
Yeah, you could take her out.
She told me.
I know what's going on.
I know why you're coming.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, why don't you come into the kitchen, man?
Hang out.
Oh, this is.
Oh, no, I'm fine.
I'll just go up to your daughter's room.
You go where?
Oh, go up to your daughter's room.
How you know it's up?
You got multiple floors.
Maybe.
But how do you know her room is up?
How do you know her room is up?
Mr. Schultz, you have her in the dungeon?
Nah.
She could be on ground level.
Oh, okay.
So you don't know where the room is going to do.
Just making sure.
See, I'm already on to you, Alex.
I'm already on to you.
I'm sorry, Mr. Schultz.
It's okay.
So is your daughter available?
My daughter is available.
She'll be down in a moment, but why don't you come inside out of the rain?
You don't want to fuck up your sneakers.
You blacks love them shits, don't you?
What do you mean?
I got these plastic bags tied around my foot.
Okay.
I'm so cold in this whole fucking day.
Shut the door.
Mark, please.
Mark, please.
The doorknobs on the outside, too, Mark.
Mark's wet at it.
Mark, please.
He's so wet.
Mark, please.
What was the doorknob saying when Epstein hung on it?
It was also hanging the doorknob.
That was a catch-22.
Fuck.
All right.
So, listen, yeah.
I think, Al, the reality is with our sketch, I'm not going to be okay with a, I don't even think I want to meet my girl's boyfriend.
This is going to be uncomfortable, dude.
Why do we have to fuck?
Why can't they just be buddies?
It's so bad.
It's better.
If they're going to do it regardless, it's better to do it in an environment where you can't.
I don't subscribe to that.
It's better.
I think they're equally bad.
Yeah.
There's no better way to do it.
It's a little bad.
Yeah, that's a weird thing.
If they're hiding it, it's worse.
Because if I know what it is.
What is uncomfortable?
Because you know that my daughter is going to have the tight ass buns.
Oh, my God.
They're going to be the only guy, pussy having ass daughter.
You know, we're going to have the big box?
Is that what your daughter is going to have?
Ride a tricycle in and out of it, Al?
Is that what's going to happen?
Raj door on the front, bro.
Coming up.
Wow.
Yo, come on, bro.
Y'all are going to have the big box daughters.
Is that what you're going to have?
Storage locker, bro.
Come on, real talk.
You can't have that storage unit.
She's going to have the storage unit.
Storage wars, baby?
You want the storage wars, pussy?
Come on, dude.
How much that locker worth?
Oh, my God.
Real talk.
Seriously, Al.
I'm tapping out.
That's crazy.
Yo, I'm telling my dad.
You can't talk about your daughter's box.
My daughter is going to have the tight one, and my son is going to have the big dick.
Back it on up.
Back it on up.
Get on up because the big dick is coming.
Oh, my God.
Right this way, baby.
Real talk.
So just keep it 100, Al.
So here's what I'm doing.
You're cool, your daughter having a huge box, bro?
No, back on that.
What if she got the hollows?
She got the hollows?
What's the hollows?
I don't know, bro.
She got the hollows, bro.
No, one.
Kegel Exercises And Aorta Health00:04:34
You just inside.
You don't feel it.
You don't feel nothing.
Sleepy hollow.
She got a motherfucker on horseback with no head.
Just galloping through your doorknob.
No Johnny Depp.
Only Johnny Depps.
That's the sleepy hollow.
That's the graveyard.
Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up.
Yeah.
So is that what she got, Al?
You want the headless?
The headless horseman?
Come on, Al.
Come on.
Yo, son.
Come on, Al.
You can't have that.
Al, you can't have that.
Come on.
My daughter's box is going to be like a paper shredder, bro.
She can't even get loose leaf in there.
Slice, slice, Al.
Mark is a grandiose.
He's thought about your daughter's pussy.
He needs to be catching.
Mark, you better keep it quiet.
This is an innocent doorknob.
Come on.
I didn't do anything.
Your daughter did this to me.
This is the improv games, Mark.
You suppose he is not breaking character.
He's locked into doorknobs.
Yeah.
Yes, and your daughter's eyes.
Yes, and she's tight.
Yo, real talk.
Don't wish big pussy on your daughter, bro.
Yeah.
It's gonna be a problem.
She can meet the man of her dreams, but he don't fit.
Yeah.
You gotta hope your daughter got the time.
Yo, you gotta hope.
I hope she has a normal pussy.
Nah, you want her pussy to sound like a Thai dish.
You want like when a guy gets in there, he's like, Muscleman.
Muscleman.
Muscleman.
Penang, bening, pening.
Tum yum.
But if it's too tight, they gonna nut quick and she's never gonna be able to get off.
It is what it is, bro.
Yeah, it is what it is.
That's the casualties of a dice game.
That's what that is, bro.
Sometimes there's casualties to a dice game, bro.
Sometimes you crap out.
And that's what that is.
That is true.
Okay.
That shit is going to be tighter than a turd cutter, Alex.
That coochie is going to be tighter than a turd cutter.
Yeah.
I think we got it, guys.
Okay, fine.
The only two things we missed is fucking Rudy Giuliani in front of the four seasons.
Yo, can we talk about that shiri?
That dumb no-neck having incompoop.
This motherfucker.
So the Trump, the Trump fucking, whatever they're called, what are they called?
I know, I know.
Mark, you couldn't let me get up there with that.
That's why we were laughing, bro.
What?
He goes, yeah, anyway, we still got to talk about Ruby Boobly Bobby.
I sounded like Biden just now.
He sounded like, and I just kept it moving, too.
I was like, Rudy boobily bobbing.
He sounds like bad titles.
He's still speaking Thai.
He sounds like it's at a Thai restaurant, bro.
Come on, Al, bro.
Oh, it was that tight puss, man.
All right.
All right.
See, that type pussy have you speaking different languages, bro.
That tight puss have you different languages.
You do a little Kegel.
Son, you ever felt a Kegel on your dick vein?
Yeah.
That shit is, you got a dick aorta.
You got a dick aorta?
Y'all never felt a Kegel on your dick aorta?
You know that big vein that runs down the back that might bring the P to the end?
I'm not really sure.
Yeah.
But do you know the one I'm talking about?
Saying you said big, I didn't know.
Say you said big.
You're talking about the interstate.
I'm talking about that interstate, that 101.
Yeah, the runway, though, the runway.
Yeah.
Orange cones.
That aorta.
That's that aorta.
And the kegel gets into the finger trap.
Is that what you're talking about?
What is that?
The kegel gets into the finger trap.
That kegel gets that shit locked, bro, right on that aorta.
Gets the teeth dug in.
You ever experienced that before, Al?
Ouch.
Ouch is right.
Can't bring teeth into the what?
Teeth?
You never had Kegel so tight it feels like teeth?
Nah.
Bear trap coochie?
You never had that?
You never had that?
You never had the clamps?
You never had the coochie clamps?
You never had some of that.
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah, you never had that coochie take a bite out of crime, Al?
That's how we all got circumcised.
That's how you know Mark ain't fucked yet.
Teeth Digging Into Finger Trap00:05:03
Is that really happening, though?
What the hell?
All right, guys, let's take a break right quick.
I'm going to be honest.
I am focused as fuck.
And you know why?
Because I did not do coffee this morning.
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And I'm going to tell you something.
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I'm not sleepy and I'm thinking clearly.
I know in quarantine, everybody's struggling with their energy levels.
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I don't even got a year's worth of Neuroroot.
You should definitely buy right now your supply of Neurot for free, possibly.
And all you got to do is go to Neuroroot.com slash Flagrant and use the code Flagrant.
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You could even get free stuff.
Seems like a no-brainer.
Let's get back to the show.
All right.
All right.
My bad, my bad.
So Giuliani, right?
Yeah.
How do you say that?
Boobly bobby.
Boobly bobby.
Rudy.
Giuliani.
Rudy boobly bobby.
So Rudy boobly bobbly.
He's out here, right?
Boobly bobbling.
So basically, the Trump team calls a press conference, right?
To talk about this voter fraud.
And they got new information to prove there's like some real voter fraud.
So they say it's going to be at the four seasons total landscaping.
I assume someone on the team tried to book the four seasons in Philadelphia.
And Trump tweeted that.
He said, big press conference at the four seasons.
He doesn't say total landscaping in his tweet?
Not the original.
Interesting.
So it's going to be at the four seasons.
What?
The fact that he didn't say that originally.
It's absolutely hilarious.
And instead of just going, yo, we made a mistake.
My bad.
They booked the thing.
Over the top.
Over the top.
They double down.
And it's so fucking funny.
But then another part of me is going, is this how they steal the news cycle?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, is this the whole, are they running game?
Are they like, yo, let's make this monumental fuck up?
I think somebody tweeted that the total seat, whatever, total landscaping.
Between a sex shop and something else.
Yeah, it's between a crematorium and a dildo shop is the way they got worded.
I thought that was funny, calling a sex shop a dildo shop.
Because there's no sex happening at a sex shop.
No, that's true.
It's for people who aren't having sex.
That's a good ass point.
But so they go through this press conference and they say they're a little bullshit, this, that, the other.
But I just think it's so fucking funny, but it has to be planned.
I don't think this is a mistake.
I think they do this on purpose.
No?
I don't know.
Really?
You wouldn't just cancel it?
I just think they're scrambling.
They needed to get a message out there and it's like, we can't find a new location.
This shit is already set up.
Fuck it.
Let's just go.
I mean, this is just so funny.
The team that goes there to set up a conference and they're starting to realize what's happening.
Bruh.
And now, Trump didn't go.
No.
It was just going to be his team.
Right.
I just think it's so fucking amazing.
Did you watch it?
No, I mean, I saw the clips that came out of it, but like, I didn't watch the whole thing.
Did you watch it?
Not the whole thing, just also clips, but just Rudy Giuliani.
All the things he was saying.
He got PTSD from Stop and Frisk, bro.
I was not feeling it.
He remembers that.
Yeah, that was bad days in New York.
Wait, wait, wait, was he stopping first or was that the short dude, Bloomberg?
I think it was Bloomberg.
Bloomberg was stopping first.
Giuliani was like an Italian mob he was going after, right?
No, but he cracked out on crime.
Crazy.
Oh, he did?
Yeah, super crazy.
Interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Before Giuliani was like a Trump lackey.
Yeah.
He was beloved by New York.
He was beloved outside of New York.
He fucked it up for him.
He really did.
He fucked it up.
We remembered him as the guy that fucking came, like, he handled up in 9-11.
And he was, yo, this is such a great voice for the city.
And now you look at him.
It's like, oh, this is sad.
He did like a presidential run, right?
Son, he did have a presidential run.
Low-key, he was like, you know, like the Harvey Dent character?
Now you guys can go nerd out, but like in now you guys can go at heart.
But he, you know how like Harvey Dent was like, I'm willing to do whatever it takes and I'm willing to get like killed this, that, the other.
Here we go.
They just bumped forehead.
I was like, high four.
But yeah, I think that's what Giuliani actually was.
Like that motherfucker should have got killed by the mob.
I'm shocked that he didn't get killed by the mob.
Like back when he was like a DA and the mob was like actually taking the mobile phone.
He took down the mob.
But the mob respects people doing their job.
That's right.
You're right about that.
That is an important distinction.
The mob is not angry at cops because they know they're doing something illegal and cops are trying to catch them.
I think they're like, if the cops start doing illegal shit to catch them, they're like, oh, now you're the mob.
You're breaking the law.
They don't like that.
Why are you coming to me?
They're like God just like us.
Exactly.
I think that's it.
Okay.
But we got to have like a mobster on this fucking thing.
Yeah, that'd be sick.
Giuliani Mob Connection History00:06:47
I'm fascinated with it.
Just not that same guy that tells his same fucking story over and over.
I know like the exact Michael Franchise or whatever the fuck I know exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
He got made a lot of money.
He's still hustling.
Yeah, they found a way to flip it.
Ah, dude, that's all they are, those guys.
It's the uh, the guy who wrote the CIA book, The Confessions of Economic Him.
Economic man, like he made money fucking over all these countries and getting assigned these like horrible deals.
Yeah, and now he's making money writing a book about how fucked up he is.
And that's what these mobsters are doing.
They made money ripping off all these people, and now they're making money writing books about how they ripped off all these people.
Yeah, let us make some money off you.
Come on the podcast, yo.
But just in case you're still connected, you're a great guy.
All right, what else we got, boys?
We should wrap up soon.
Did you guys see the thing about Van Jones?
Like, he mistaking me.
So the funniest part about that?
Yeah, that's it.
I mean, Beyonce from Adams.
Mary J. Blige.
And the funniest part about that shit is that everybody confuses Van Jones and Van Lathan.
Oh, yeah.
So they were going through it.
Like Van's Twitter was on fire.
And all it takes is one person tweeting, yo, how the fuck Van Lathan confuses him?
And you're not going to look up the video.
You're saying, come on, Van, you're supposed to be one of us.
He's probably the van that pops up.
You not think about multiple vans who are famous black people in entertainment.
Yeah.
That are journalists.
Yeah.
What an odd name, Van.
I don't think about that.
So you just see the first van.
Oh, it must be this guy.
Boom.
And then you see somebody tweet about it.
And then you're like, oh, this guy's a moron.
And then you tweet about that.
Poor Van.
I like saying Van having fun with it.
He leaned in.
He ended up going on the board.
That was funny.
What is the white equivalent to mixing up Mary J. Blige and Beyonce?
What do you mean the white equivalent?
Like, what would the white equivalent be like Springsteen and Bon Jovi?
Oh, I see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Springsteen and Bon Jovi in Jersey in particular, where that's like they're fucking guys.
Swear to God, not lying.
Same person in my eyes.
Swear to God.
I cannot tell you.
I know one Bon Jovi song.
Don't stop.
No, I'm sure I'm not sure.
That's Journey, I think.
That's my bad.
Oh, man.
I was on board with that shit, man.
I'm stripping your white car.
Yo.
My white car been gone, bro.
I know what you're doing, bro.
We don't have a home with a man without an island.
Yeah, living on a prayer.
Living on a prayer.
You know, the only reason I know that was you had a joke with Living on a Prayer where you're singing.
Oh, you had the black guy rapping, or you were rapping, and then a black guy looked at you, and you just started drumming right away.
That was it.
I was like, I was walking down the street rapping with my hands.
I was an old man.
Doing biggie shit.
I was like, man, fuck that.
I preach it.
Man, no, I'm reaches.
And a black dude saw me doing it, and I immediately just started airing on it.
Oh, that's funny.
Don't stop.
Leave it.
Yeah.
Only reason I know I saw him.
Low-key that's a real thing that happened.
Like, I was rapping over hands, and a dude saw me on the subway, and I got so embarrassed that I was caught doing it.
Seriously.
And I literally, I was just like, yeah, man.
Oh, he would have fucked with you crazy.
He's like, oh, shit, he's a cool white boy.
Nah, man.
I got it.
That's just when you're young and insecure.
Nah, that's true.
Oh, dude.
Oh, dude.
How many awkward interactions in your life have taken place on public transportation?
Quite a few.
I'm trying to think of it.
Like, what percentage of the awkward things that you remember?
I remember I took a picture of Anthony Weiner on the subway and I had a flash on.
No.
And I went down.
I was like, oh, fuck.
He's taking a picture.
And I went down.
He saw the flash go off.
My man was ready to kill me.
Like, jaw clenched, fucking glaring at me.
And then I'm looking at Anthony Weiner, like, am I about to get my ass beat by the guy who took a picture of his dick on the internet?
Bro, it's not the worst picture of you in his life.
That's what I was saying.
I was a little bit nervous at first, and then I was like, what?
This guy's dick is all over the place.
I can't take a picture of his face.
And I started kind of looking back, like, I mean, really?
What's going to happen?
Yeah.
I gave you good light.
Yeah.
You should be happy he got good light.
I just feel like because we grew up in this, this like very weird, this very weird thing where we are in such close proximity to all these people we don't know.
It's like it's rife for embarrassment, right?
Because you're not going to be as embarrassed if, like, if something happens in front of people you know, like, if you fall in front of your friends, you're like, ah, that's no big deal.
But if you like, trip on the subway and you got like a whole high school of kids going, that's definitely happened to me.
Yeah.
Or like, if you're wearing something stupid, like, I used to have long hair as a kid.
People used to think I was a girl and I had like the Jordans, the Jordan 11s, the pad leather ones, but I had the baby blue ones, and those like hadn't crossed over just yet, right?
So, like, this dude on the subway was like, Excuse me, ma'am, is anybody sick?
See, you can be pretty with a big nose piece of shit.
But he called me ma'am, bro, and it was like, oh, dude.
Did you shave off your head that day?
Imagine.
Imagine I just went right to the ball, dude.
But yeah, like, I'm trying to think, like, do we get more used to public humiliation because we're forced to be in these environments?
We're around like strangers more?
Like, for extended periods of time.
Yeah, like when we fall asleep on the subway, like, how many times you fell asleep looking crazy on the subway and like someone's got to wake you up because you're like leaning on them and shit.
Yeah, I've had that.
I'm just wondering if we're more accustomed to like if we're like more used to, I guess, looking stupid in front of you.
Growing up in New York, you got to get used to just always being accosted in general.
Yeah.
Homeless people.
It's always some shit going on that's going to fuck with you.
And maybe we're like, we understand the fact that like something that people see doesn't really matter because you'll never see those people again.
Yeah.
Where if you grow up in like a smaller community, like those things that happen to you, like everybody remembers they bring up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a small community.
Oh, we see each other every day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that definitely catches up to you.
I remember being like first time I came to New York being like super naive or like first time I ever traveled with my parents.
Like growing up, if anyone ever talked to you in my neighborhood, like they were like a neighbor or like a friend or something.
They got you.
Bro, I was on the subway one time.
This is like a year and a half ago and I'm sitting there and there's like street performers dancing.
He's got no shirt on.
He's like sweating, like flicking sweat on everyone.
And he comes over.
He's like, yo, can I have some water?
And I was like, yeah.
And I gave him like my water bottle.
And he like drank from the water bottle, like put his lips all over like my like reusable water bottle.
And he was like, yo, thanks, bro.
And gave it back.
And I was like, all right.
And that was it.
I just had to have this guy's gross ass water bottle mouth all over my shit.
Yeah, you're a wild boy for that.
I just thought it was like the right thing to do.
I was like, I guess you give these guys water?
I don't know.
That's wild.
I had no idea.
Oh, I got caught one time in France doing the same shit when I was really young.
We were going around and like these like North Africans.
I like having people's mouth on your body.
I know, right?
Yeah.
Which bottle are we talking about?
Fucking doorknob.
Giving Water To Strangers Wildly00:04:33
These Senegalese guys would like do this trick where they'd be like, yo, like, you want a bracelet?
Or like, oh, look at this.
Like, hold this really fast.
And it was like a piece of string.
And then you put your finger out or like they would like, you put your hand out and they'd put it on your finger.
And then they'd make a bracelet on your finger.
Oh, that's right.
And then you have to pay for the bracelet.
But really interesting hustle.
You're attached to the guy now.
Yeah.
And then he spends two minutes and he makes you this sick ass bracelet and he goes, yo, this is yours.
And I'm like, oh, thanks so much.
He's like, do you have any money for me?
And then you're like, no.
But like three times in a row, I got caught walking on the streets of France.
Like my parents are trying to move.
And I'm just getting hung up by these like Senegalese guys time.
Yeah, there's entire economies built off taking advantage of tourists that are trying to be polite.
Yeah, right?
Like the whole mixtape economy.
Oh, yeah.
Like you got, hey, man, you like rap music?
They never asked New York as anything.
They're looking for like some white dude with like clogs and socks.
You know, some German who's never seen a black guy before is going to get really excited at the Capri soccer pants.
Oh, they got the Capri soccer pants and like a skinny sneaker, like a Europeans dress.
It's over for you.
And then Thai, they literally go and ask.
Oh, target board activists.
They see they get mama for women's rights.
Yeah.
Women.
No, they're real.
My gosh, heard Lewis Reitz.
He's like, what kind of hustle is this?
Oh my God, bro.
He's got any of the same ones.
Is like, can we raise some money for my basketball team?
Oh my god, you did.
What about environment?
You thought all them shits are fake?
All in the fake.
So, so, girl, can you help us get right?
She's like, fucking hustler.
Fuck out of here, bitch.
They're trying to get out of you.
Just your name and your email.
What they're trying to get out of me, commission.
I think you work on commission.
I think you're an activist for commission.
I don't believe that shit for a second.
What money is that?
Why would you work that?
They don't even have to ask for money.
How you got an iPad?
You got a fucking slave computer?
They can give it to you.
Give me what?
I give it to the iPad, not you.
They give it to the worker.
How do you think they got the iPad?
I'm saying, I don't trust the company that's hiring all these people, having them hustle.
Don't nobody hustle that hard for fucking free for activism.
Activists got a table.
Gandhi didn't need for six years to be free, bro.
Literally, he worked so hard for activists.
You could join him if you wanted.
He's just taking a nice stroll.
You know what I mean?
That's all.
He's strolling.
What's that different than what is doing?
Yo, this guy won't give nobody money, bro.
I got got for $30 a month because I thought the kid recognized me.
And then I was like, man, fuck.
He was looking at me for a second.
I was like, what's up?
And he was like, you got a moment for kids?
I was like, shit.
I got to talk to this fucking kid.
And you gave him 30 a month.
How many fucking kids, bro?
How many Indian kids can you support for that shit?
I swear to God, you showed me the brown kids and I couldn't say no.
What kind of brown?
There was one Indian.
It was enough.
And they're not even going to the Indian.
I know, yo.
I know, but I can't say no to the Indian.
That's a good ass hustle, though.
It's a good hustle.
Just have a bunch of pictures of like poor kids of all different races and you just pull up the picture of whoever the person you're talking to.
Pick where it goes.
Yo.
Do you get to choose one?
No, no, I'm talking about a fake, like one of Akash's fake things that he.
I can't believe y'all believe those environmentalists, yo.
Son, it's real.
I knew, I knew a kid who would do it.
And he made money.
He made good money.
They all broke, bro.
They care about the environment.
Ain't nobody rich care about the environment.
That's broke people's shit, bro.
Actors, Leonardo DiCaprio.
That's your thing, man.
You don't care about the environment.
You just can't fuck 19-year-olds unless you care about something.
You know what I mean?
You need a little distraction.
Every time they're like, yo, are you 50 and fucking 19-year-olds?
He's like, yeah, but the koalas.
We got to save the koala.
Elephant seals, baby.
Come on.
You ain't getting my money, activists.
Oh, you're a crazy boy, bro.
All right, man.
Let's wrap it up, man.
This is a long episode.
We love y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
We are going to get through this next four years, the same way we got through the last four years, same way we got through the last four years of that.
Like, we're going to stop being so emotional about as long as everything's legit.
If obviously there's like some crazy fraud, then yeah, we should look into that, but I don't really think there is.
And we're going to get through it the way we always get through it.
You know, we have this way of building up elections as if they're the end of the world.
Well, so far, we've had quite a few.
World hasn't ended just yet.
Every election is the most important.
Until the next one.
Until the next one.
We're going to be okay.
You know what I mean?
Y'all are going to stop giving a fuck about elections.
Within six months, this corona shit gone.
Like, let's be honest.
This corona shit is gone.
Over.
By 2021, we're back on tour.
Everything's cool.
Everything's popping.
We're eating inside restaurants.
Everything's Gucci.
So let's get back to business.
Let's keep doing what we're doing.
Patreon Premium Content Pricing00:00:53
We love y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
And the takeover continues.
Now, guys, if this wasn't enough for you, you know, Friday, we are on Patreon, patreon.com/slash flagrant2.
We do a new episode every single Friday at Patreon.
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You get four episodes a month.
It's the best deal in the business.
Yeah, man.
You spend $5 on cups of coffee.
We out here giving you premium content for less than that.
Shit.
We might have to bump up the prices, frankly, for the motherfucking service we provide out here.
You know what I mean?
Number one comedy Patreon in the world for a reason.
Yeah, we're going to brag a little bit because when you work this hard, you got to enjoy it a bit, man.
Asshole Army, thank y'all for spreading the word, man.
Never advertise a day in our lives, you know, outside of trying to give y'all the greatest content we possibly could, man.
We're glad that you appreciate it.
So keep on spreading the word for us, man, and we will keep on delivering.