Sheltie dissects a debate clip where a fly landing on Mike Pence's head sparks theories of a Democratic drone stunt or reptilian trolling, while Kamala Harris is mocked as the reincarnation of Pence's mother for allegedly converting her deceased Hindu parent. The host critiques Harris's self-serving resume recitation and Biden-bashing, contrasting it with Pence's passive "Lego man" demeanor and suspicious red eye, suggesting the incident overshadowed policy to sell merchandise. Ultimately, the segment implies the debate was a marketing spectacle rather than a substantive political exchange. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Kamala vs Pence00:11:39
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Here is the exclusive clip.
Kamala was good.
Kamala was good, but Pence was soothing.
Yeah, man.
And Kamala, I guess I just had like loftier expectations and she didn't quite meet them.
Like there was time.
She does this like slow talking attempt at sincerity.
President Biden and I would really like.
And it's like, Joe, just talk.
Like, you don't have to feign sincerity by being.
Well, that's the thing about Pence.
The entire thing was feigning sincerity, but it seemed authentic.
Yeah, he's way better at it.
He is way better feigning sincerity.
Like he's like Ryan Secret.
You know how Ryan Secret can feign sincerity and it seems authentic?
And that's why he's the best host?
That's what makes an amazing host.
When you truly believe the words that are coming out of that person's mouth, no matter how fraudulent they are.
And I cannot tell you a time where I was like, oh, he's faking this shit.
Now, he looks like he unzips his skin at the end of the night.
Like that motherfucker.
Mad lizard.
I thought he was going to eat that fucking fly, bro.
I thought he was going to be a little bit more.
I never knew what reptilian meant until I saw this guy.
That's a reptilian motherfucker.
He was comfy under those fucking lights, bro.
Very comfy.
He's absorbing all this.
He was just laying there like fucking Josh Gadd.
You think the fly was trolling him?
He was like, yeah, you won't eat me now, bitch.
You won't eat me now.
You ate my cousins and shit backstage.
We ain't going to eat me now.
Is that guy's hair real?
I don't think so.
I think it's a weight.
I've never seen a single hair out of place.
Never out of place.
He's like a Lego man.
It's Lego.
Yeah, he looks like Eminem's dad in like 2002.
You know what I mean?
He just looks like old Slim Shady, doesn't he?
A little bit.
I wanted them to play that shit when he walks in.
Well, the real Slim Shady, please stand up.
He just walks on in.
Damn, dude.
That's crazy.
Okay.
So this fly lands on his head.
It don't move.
It doesn't matter long.
Just sits there.
It's just like his hair.
And he doesn't react at all.
He doesn't know it's there.
He has no clue it's there.
That's why I think we're asking if the hair is real, right?
Because how do you not know?
Well, I think it's easy.
There could be flies on you and you have no clue.
I guess.
I guess if it's...
I mean, like when you get a mosquito bite, you're not like, oh, there's a mosquito on my arm.
Nothing's going to happen.
And then you slap it.
I mean, like, normally if you look like you put it to our cars, dude.
What about the flies?
I'm trying my hardest not to make a fly jump.
I mean, like, half of your family got flies buzzing around it.
Obviously, they got no clue.
It's there.
I'm going to tell you something.
We know.
Yeah.
Nothing you can do.
There's nothing you could do.
So that's it.
This is easy.
I'm shocked the fly didn't go to Kamala with her Indian ass.
That's the most shocking thing.
Yo, I didn't like that she tried to convert her mom posthumously.
She's like, my mom is up in heaven watching right now.
Your mom was Hindu.
She in another life, bitch.
You better convert her after she dies.
She's the fly.
Oh, my God.
That's the most Indian way.
That's what we do, yo.
That's why we don't respond to the flies in India because that's just our cousins hanging out.
Ain't nothing but a family reunion, bro.
Hey, that's our little shitty ass uncles that try to molest us around.
Wait, y'all got molestation in it, dude?
Yeah, sure.
We got mad rapes.
I got molestation, too.
Wow, dude.
Even in the past life, dude, you got fucking uncles sucking you?
The mosquitoes.
Just when you thought your uncle was dead and he couldn't suck you any longer, there he is buzzing around your ear.
Yo, that's like the perfect next life for a molester, huh?
Yes.
Mosquito.
Whoa, dude.
Just walking around low-key, sucking on everybody's necks.
Yeah, that's what God thinks.
He's like, oh, you're a molester.
I'm making you a mosquito.
And you're like, gotcha.
You fell into my trap.
Not as all-annoying as you thought, I think.
All right, so does this actually help Pence win the debate?
Why?
Because what is it?
What do they say?
You know, there's no such thing as bad PR or NEPR as good PR.
What is the term?
There's some term about.
Yeah, yeah.
All publicity is good publicity.
All publicity is good publicity.
There was once the Brooklyn Dodgers, before the Dodgers were in LA, they were in Brooklyn, and the guy who made the stadium told them purposely to misspell Dodgers.
Right.
Because he knew that it would be the first page on every newspaper and it was going to get the publicity.
So what I think often happens with these events is the person that controls the internet, the person that controls the memes coming out of it, actually ends up winning because they control the conversation.
You know, there was, I forget exactly who, but it was might have been Eliza Schlesinger.
I'm not exactly sure, but like it was back when America's favorite comic, whatever that stuff.
Yeah, lots of comic standing show was going on.
I think they kept trying to vote her out.
Yeah.
And then she would go to the do the stand-up to save herself every week.
Yeah.
And then she would get, I guess, saved by the audience.
And what ended up happening?
The audience kept falling in love with her.
Right.
Because they got to see more of her.
Yeah.
Right.
So like when Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and them did the Kentecloth, they won the internet with that.
Even if it was stupid, they still won the internet.
They controlled the conversation.
They controlled the news cycle.
People were only talking about them.
They weren't talking about anything else that was happening, nothing that Trump was doing, nothing that any of the Republicans were doing.
The internet cycle was consumed by that one source.
And right now it's consumed.
The second I saw the fly there, I'm sure you guys thought the exact same thing.
This is every meme.
Oh, yeah.
That's it.
This is every meme.
Everybody's going to be talking about it.
So nothing that Kamala talked about, no side eye, no quick retort, no funny reaction that she gave, that she gave, what's his face, Pence, is going to be the thing that proliferates the internet.
None of Pence's like ducked questions, nothing.
None of Pence's ducked questions, nothing.
It's only Pence.
So it could lose.
It could be a loss for Pence, right?
Because maybe some of his good responses don't get any traction.
But nothing of Kamala's gets traction.
And if you thought Kamala did exceptionally well in the debate, you should be bummed about this because now the focus is fly swatters instead of the bomb-ass answers Kamala was given.
The only thing I don't think it actually helps Pence because he came off a little bit aggressive by like how Trump came off at the end of his debate.
He's like, hey, kill a fly.
How could you say that's a surprise?
This is a kind man, a kind Christian man.
He actually seemed incredibly passive because of that fly.
Come on, Tony.
Yo, remember when the bird landed on Bernie's?
Thank you, Vice President Pence, like a thousand times just to get him to shut the fuck up.
Who said that?
Carol Baskin?
I keep calling her Carol Basket, but that bitch looked like Carol Baskin.
Yeah, it was funny.
Okay, so you were saying?
Oh, no, I'm just saying he came across very aggressive.
So that like we would have more sympathy about the fly landing on somebody's head and they didn't know about it if we liked them.
But because like he came off aggressive, it's like, oh, I don't really have too much sympathy for you because you were over talking or the whole thing.
I also think it's a stereotype of flies.
What you mean?
It's reflective of our relationship with insects.
We don't fuck with insects at all.
Remember when the bird landed on Bernie's podium when he was giving a speech?
And everybody was like, it was a dove sent from God because Bernie's here to save us.
Right.
When a fly lands on Mike Pence's head, it's like, well, flies are attracted to shit.
I mean, that is the saying, flies on shit.
Yeah.
Birds probably laying on birds shit on you.
Yeah.
Fuck birds.
Yeah, catch more flies with honey.
There it is.
I like that quote.
Catch more flies with honey.
That guy's a honeypot.
Yeah.
Not that type of honeypot.
He's sweet like sugar.
There he is.
Yo, that's a good point.
We could say catch more flies with honey, but instead, we go, flies are attracted to shit because how we feel about pence.
And if his hair wasn't so golden white, we wouldn't have even seen that shit.
That motherfucker has a perfect head of hair for his age.
That's perfect.
It's incredible.
We all hope that our hair is too perfect.
It's too perfect.
So you think it's fake?
Yeah.
You think it's what?
Laid down?
I think it's a full wig.
A piece of plastic that he can clip into the hole in his head?
Yeah.
And what is it?
Why does he have a whole Lego guy?
He's fucking funny.
Like a Lego guy.
He's definitely a Lego guy.
100%.
100%.
How come you think we got a Lego vice president?
I mean, there's something off about him.
This guy is a Manchurian candidate ass type of dude.
He was fucking great.
Like somebody who's just putting the answers in his head, like they're just typing it into a computer and that shit is right here.
I was just spitting out retorts.
I was so impressed.
Like he was prepared for this shit.
I expect it from Kamala because I think my expectations are super high for her.
Because we keep hearing, yo, she's a prosecutor.
She's going to go grill him.
She's a beast.
She's used to this kind of debate in a way.
Isn't that what a prosecution is?
It's a debate.
Yep.
This guy, I'm like, to a certain extent, right?
Like speaking publicly, she's going to be able to do it.
She's going to do it comfortably.
Sure.
And make accusations, right?
And then back up those accusations.
Pence, that guy was ready, bro.
Yo, the fly proves that he didn't have a wire.
Keep going.
Because he would have been fried.
The fly would have got fried.
No, they would have told him, yo, there's a fucking fly in your head.
Get that shit up.
Oh, that's a good ass point.
That's a good ass point.
Yo, wipe your head.
There's a fucking fly.
You know what's interesting about what Pence did?
Because everybody was saying he helped his career.
Yeah.
And I didn't hear that as much about Kamala.
And what I was getting annoyed by was they always.
You say her name all Indian, bro.
Don't do that.
Did you hear him flipping the Indian restaurant?
Yeah.
He just like put all get the Indian butter chicken.
It's not called Indian butter chicken.
That's all the food in the Indian restaurant.
I was looking for a word.
I was looking for a word.
I couldn't.
Oh, that was Indian.
What's that shit?
I got the Chinese chicken broccoli.
I was looking so hard for the world.
I was like, what can it be?
All of the Indian water with ice.
Italian pizza.
Or be a better Indian word.
I could shit out.
God damn.
Oh, man.
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Now let's get back to the clip.
Anyway, so Kamala, I don't know however you fucking said it.
So what she would do is always put in her own say that's name.
Kamala.
What she would do is put her own resume points in every answer.
Oh, and I was coming up in the 70s as a prosecutor, and then I did this and I was the first person to do this.
Bitch, we're talking about abortion right now.
Like, why are you so smart?
Why?
Presidential Moments00:02:56
To me, it came across too self-serving, whereas Pence didn't do that at all.
And I looked at Pence like, this motherfucker is impressive.
But what we were saying last time we had a discussion about this shit is like, we don't know her.
We don't know what she's about.
We don't know anything about her.
She was introducing herself to the world.
And honestly, it's really important she introduces herself to the world because this is going to be her presidency if they win.
Yeah.
So I think the goal was, yo, these are my policies.
I rock with Joe, but when Joe ain't there, six months after y'all elect him, if he gets elected, this is what I'm about.
Dude, did you see the one part where she's, she, I mean, she, okay, before all this shit.
You good?
I mean, like, speaking about how it says right now.
He's got clean up on his mind.
Diane laughed when I saw this shit is that she goes, Before all this shit, she's like grilling Biden for like being a racist and that he has racist policies and crime bills during the Democratic primary.
That's right.
Calls him.
Bodied him.
Yeah, says, I believe all women.
He's a rapist.
And then goes into the bait and says, we were raised with the same values.
Yeah.
What?
She was hard on Biden, bro.
You got to do that.
That's the game.
It is a weird, stupid game where they all pretend they hate each other in the primary and they shit on each other.
And then as soon as the primary is over, everybody just pretends it didn't happen.
Right.
But she's not.
She's all on the same team.
So like, ah, well, whatever.
She shit on her.
It's like sports.
You talk shit to your opponent, but then if you're on the same team as him next time, it's like, oh, yeah, we're buddies there.
Yeah.
But when you're grilling them for being like a rapist or you call someone a rapist.
She's the same growing up.
Yeah, that's a little bit tricky.
It's hard to be like, I believe her and then be someone's VP.
That's wild.
She was trying to win.
That's presidential, bro.
I'm not sure.
That's what I'm saying.
That is presidential president.
That is what I wanted a president.
You want a president that will support the person.
Well, call out rapists.
I'm a QNA, all right?
You want a president that will call out rapists.
Yo, maybe she was desensitized to the rape because she's Indian.
So maybe he, maybe she was like, yo, I believe her, but like, that's what happened.
You know what?
As she's getting more successful, I do swear.
I'm just getting more Indian in her.
So maybe there's something.
I'm starting to see her as being more and more Indian.
She's Indian starting to claim her.
She's cute, yo.
Say what?
She's mad cute.
Yo, she's cute.
Again, very Indian out there.
She's mad, cute.
She's pretty, man.
She was strong right now.
She was smiling and kind of chuckling a little bit.
And then she would like, she would like, she would roll her eyes kind of when Pence was saying things that she felt were not true.
And she would do this like smiling thing like that.
Uh-uh.
Pretty ass.
She wasn't saying uh-uh, boo-boo, but it was like, uh-uh, remember when Carol Baskin calls her and goes, oh, yeah, Kamala.
Oh, I mean, Senator, whatever.
And she goes, no, no, I'm Kamala.
You're relatable.
You're relatable.
I was like, keep talking.
Okay, Kamala.
I like that.
Dude, America's progressive.
Barack?
Hussein?
Kamala?
What are these names, bro?
We doing it, yo.
You might need Mike Pence just to even shit out.
You might need one of them John Does just for balance, bro.
For balance?
Oh, gosh.
For balance.
Well, we got Kamala and Joe Biden.
Inside Nipple Debate00:02:11
What was the abortion thing that was happening?
Just any question they would ask as opposed to so many times as opposed to just answering, which always drives me crazy.
She would start with all the things she did.
What did she say about abortion?
I was just using that as an example.
Okay, but did she have something specific about it?
Because clearly she's pro-abortion.
Like she didn't even have any kids.
She went one step further than abortion, right?
Like I'm not even getting close to abortion.
That's how much I don't believe in kids.
Maybe she's pro-life.
Maybe she's so anti-abortion.
She's like, no kids, never been put in that position.
Way.
Because I was looking the other way.
I was like, based on her record, she like kids at all.
Like, she'll put them in jail and she won't even, you know what I'm saying?
She won't even put them in her jail.
She won't lock them up in her womb at all.
Nine months?
That's too short.
If I could lock this baby up inside me for life, spree strikes.
Death penalty.
Yo, do you believe in the death penalty when it comes to babies?
That's all abortion is.
If they phrase it like that, she's like, oh, of course.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This is a good point, guys.
We're getting to the bottom of this.
If a pregnant chick gets the death penalty, kid committed the crime too.
All right.
Why was she moody?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That kid was kicking.
Why she steal all that bread?
Feed the kid.
Kid was hungry, whining, bitching.
Okay?
Just suck on the under side of them tits.
Inside, under don't they have the inside of the tits?
What if that's how it works?
Like there's a nipple on the other side.
Don't they have it inside on their chest?
Yo, honey, what if that is?
Hey, Mark knows what I'm saying.
So, when kids breastfeed, obviously, when they come out of the womb, they're sucking on the nipple.
But what if there was an inside nipple?
Yeah, they just go up to the nipple.
Yeah, they just reach up to that duck and get that sucking.
Double-sided mirror, that what double-sided mirror.
It's a double-sided mirror.
You never watch a CI movie?
You're fucking a nerd.
You're a fucking idiot.
Don't know anything about titties.
Come on, bro.
You virgins.
Come on.
He makes me suck titties in the first place to get that inside city, pop up into the big part.
Yeah, it's when you get a den your car, you got to pull it out.
Come on, dude.
Flex seal.
Flex seal.
We need to interview flexiel, dude.
That's my favorite infomercial.
Oh, that guy that smacks his shit off.
Planned Drone Tape00:06:37
Oh, it's the best.
There's a hole.
He just takes a little piece of tape, slaps it on.
No more hole.
Oh, yo.
You know, that tape, that tape is ill.
Have you got that thing?
I need to buy something.
Use that for your girl?
Yeah.
Ain't no tape holding that mouth shit.
I thought you meant on a park.
That's the flex seal commercial that we all need.
Your girl's.
Listen, I need to talk to you.
Yo, flex seal, asshole army.
By the way, your contributions have been amazing.
We've been looking at all these videos.
We're looking at all these creators that are putting these videos together.
They're absolutely amazing.
But if one of you guys finds a way to do the flex seal video over the mouth of a yapping girlfriend and ladies that are making the videos, do it over the mouth of your yapping boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter.
That might win you the job, bro.
It's a might, but that might win you the job.
I want to see it.
I got to see it, bro.
I don't know if I could do it, but maybe as a joke, how much would it stick on?
Heller.
That's the thing.
It would stick on too much.
You couldn't do it as a joke to your girl.
What do you mean?
You could do a tape.
Yeah, but then it won't work.
We need a tape that you could remove the stickiness of with a push of a button.
So flex seal and then can't move and then boom, no more stick.
It just falls off.
Oh, I like that idea.
Okay.
I'm with it.
I got real serious when I asked if he ever did that to his girl.
And I don't know if he's upset or truly thinking about it.
Nah, I was in my head trying to figure out how do we make this work.
It was working.
It was funny.
We were all laughing.
No, no, I mean, how do we make this a legit invention?
An enterprise.
A business?
I'm still swift.
I started putting my engineering cap on.
All right.
But any other last day impressions from the debate?
We should talk about this.
Just Biden seemed really capitalized on the fly thing.
Oh, Biden went right to the merch store with it.
Yeah.
So like moments after the debate, they tweet, pitch in $5 to help this campaign fly.
And they got a picture of Biden looking youthful on it, like as youthful as he can look, holding the fly swatter.
And then the next day, the fly swatter goes on sale and now sold out on his website.
A $10 fly swatter?
Truth over flies is a truth over flies.
That's a file slogan.
Like they are on it, y'all.
It's almost like they planned that shit, yeah.
They planned the fly.
I think they planned the fly, bro.
What do you think?
Mechanical flies.
I think they did mechanical fly.
It's a drone, bro.
It's a drone.
Biden got access to them drones.
Okay.
It could be a drone fly, dude.
Okay.
Okay.
I think they planned it.
And this is how you know that the Democratic Party, or at least the DNC, whoever's in control of the marketing behind the Democratic Party, is absolutely trash.
Because if this happened the other way, if it was something, if something happened to Kamala and instead of Pence or whatever, like that, all of us would be on.
Nah, not Trump planned that shit.
Literally everything that Trump does, we're like, yo, he might have planned it.
I don't think he really got Corona.
He was just doing that.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but that's on him.
Say what?
He did that.
By him calling out everything that comes out about him as fake.
You never know what's reeling with fake.
Right, so I think he set up that, like, their marketing.
Also, this is a fucking fly.
You're talking about a fly drone?
Am I blame?
So they can sell 10,000 fly swatters.
Suck.
It's not about the fly swatters.
It's about the marketing.
It's about the principle.
I fully believe that could have happened.
No fucking chance.
What you mean?
A fly drone.
Yeah, we know Mike Pence won't swat.
That's a fly guy drone.
Have you ever been to Brookstone and they have the little, like, you can control them in the fucking mall with the little drone?
You've never been to that shit?
No, I never seen no fly size drone.
Drones.
I never seen no fly-sized drone because it's too small.
Exactly.
You don't know what to fly, what's not, bro.
You're in Jersey.
There's fucking drones everywhere.
Yeah, no wonder you've never seen it.
For real.
Get with it, dog.
Okay, fair enough.
No, no, no, no.
You need a little bit, stay a little bit more woke, bro.
Yeah.
There's fucking drones everywhere.
I'm happily sleep, yo.
Nah.
Blue pill, baby.
Oh, yeah.
You did say you took the blue pill.
Blue pill, baby.
Nah, bro.
We're going to get you red pill, dude.
Them swatters.
They should sell Bug Spray.
I feel like they make more money on that.
Bugspray would work, but you know what?
I have a little theory here.
I don't think they ever had any of those swatters.
No, you don't say.
I don't think they sold a single one.
I think they're faking that they're sold out.
Oh, oh, that.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, hey, because they don't want their drones to get destroyed.
Because they don't want their drones to get destroyed.
Think about that.
That's a lot of money.
Think about that.
A billion dollars costs a billion dollars.
Why is the bill?
A $10 fly swatter?
That's like the war in Afghanistan again.
Yeah.
You can't have that.
You can't be shooting down these helicopters with a $500 rocket launcher.
That's exactly what we're doing when we're setting up.
Why would you swat down the spy planes?
Yeah.
They're Warhawks, bro.
That's all it is.
This is Hillary Clinton, bro.
This is Hillary Clinton.
That's what she used to do to slap Bill's dick out of 14-year-olds.
Every time he started pelving thrusting at a child, stop it, Bill.
But for real, are you blue-pilled enough to get a fly swatter?
No, I ain't buying no fucking fly swatter.
I'm not a dork, but I don't think the fly was fake.
You're a coward.
I know, right?
I can't believe it.
You don't afraid of what did Penn say?
Listen, you can have your opinions, but you can't have your truths.
Yeah.
What did he say?
He's close.
He's holding us.
He said, listen here, you brown bitch.
You can think whatever you want to think, but we're sending you and your family home.
Yeah, catch more honeys being.
Did he say that?
Did he say that?
Yeah.
Listen here.
We're building a wall around that little hut you call a house.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're flying you back home.
That's all he's trying to do.
100%.
What did he say?
He said something like that.
I don't know how many syllables are in your first name, but it's too many for America.
Yeah.
Didn't he say that?
I don't know if this Mike Pence talking or Andrew Dogman.
What's going on right now?
No, it's not.
That's what he said.
What do you say?
I'm tired of sharing a microphone with a brown.
He's tired.
Who's that?
Mike Pence or me?
What is that what he said?
Did you wear deodorant today?
Huh?
Yeah.
I'm Pink Eye Pence, and I support this message.
Pink Eye Pence.
Why doesn't Trump just sell eye drops?
Wait, why?
Who was Pink Eyed up?
You didn't see Penny.
He was mad.
That pink eye was off.
Mad Pink Eye.
Yeah.
Yeah, they thought he was smoking up.
Really?
Nah, but it was only one eye.
That's pink eye.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
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