Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the "Believe All Women" campaign, arguing white women are inherently more credible than Black men, while analyzing Joe Biden's claim that undecided Black voters lack agency. They explore historical grievances like unfulfilled land promises and modern fashion shifts where men adopt feminine trends for social reward. The hosts debate Doja Cat's racial controversies and NFL pandemic decisions before deconstructing Michael Jordan's "The Last Dance" documentary, suggesting his exclusionary narratives and potential psychopathic traits undermine his GOAT status by ignoring key contributors like Kukoc and Pippen. Ultimately, the episode posits that legacy is fragile when constructed on insecurity rather than objective truth. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Believe All Women Campaign00:14:43
What's up, everybody?
I want to start this podcast on a serious note.
And there's something that we probably neglected a little bit in the last few years of us doing this podcast, but it's the Believe All Women campaign.
And I feel like, you know, recent events have transpired in Central Park, not the other Central Park thing, but this recent Central Park thing where a woman called the police on a black guy who was bird watching, just asking her to lock up her dog or what is it?
Leash up.
Yeah, leash up her dog.
You getting a dog.
What is it?
You getting a dog.
I don't know what they're called.
I don't know.
Lock him up.
I got a crate.
I guess we're locking him up.
So, but you know, it is true.
We should, I don't know if you guys know this hashtag believe all women, but we've got to believe all women.
What is she saying that the guy did?
I mean, harassing her.
God knows what.
Like, this is cop worthy.
I got to call the cops.
This guy is attacking me.
If she says it, we've got to believe her.
You have to.
Because it's incredibly, it doesn't matter if he wasn't doing anything.
He was just bird watching.
I believe everything I hear from the masses on Twitter.
And is the quote, believe some women?
No, it's believe all women.
All women.
And first of all, this is a white woman, so they're the most believable.
So you believe them no matter what, right?
I mean, they are.
It's like white women, you believe first.
Yeah.
Right?
And then there are other races, you believe them a little bit less, obviously.
But if a white woman, a mask-yielding white woman.
Oh, she was mask yielding on her woman.
She had a mask on.
She was protecting herself.
This is the most believable.
This is the most believable.
She's going along with the guidelines, right?
She's wearing a mask.
She cares about if she's calling the cops on a black guy, it must be for something good.
Must be.
When in history has a white woman called the cops on a black guy, and it's been, you know, false.
False.
It's never happened in history.
I can't even think.
Honestly, has there been one time?
Never.
Not even a single time.
Not a single.
What's your favorite cowboy?
What's his name?
Troy Egger?
No.
Michael Irvin?
Emma Smith?
Emmett.
Emma Smith.
There's something, Emmett.
Emmett.
Oh, no, I don't know.
Anyway, that's probably nothing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But all I'm trying to say is, guys, we have to believe all women.
And it's really, it's really important.
And it starts with us.
You know, it's like, you got to believe your girl.
Yo, I got to believe my girl.
All the time.
You know?
Everything they say.
No matter what they say.
She's right.
I mean, honestly, yeah, you can't just ask a woman to leash her dog.
Like, what is that?
Yeah.
I mean, that's crazy.
That's astonishing.
That's violating.
That is rape.
That's rape culture, bro.
Honestly, that black guy was raping that white woman, bro.
Yo, you know what?
That black guy was raping that white woman, but the way that he told her to leash her dog.
Yeah.
How is that different than rape?
I don't see the difference.
He might have been.
It might have been rape in a lot of ways.
What do some black dudes call women?
Bitches.
Birds.
Oh, shit.
Maybe he...
Oh, birds.
Whoopsie.
That's why he was bird watching?
Oh, I got you.
Whoopsie.
But in all seriousness, in all seriousness, right?
He's out here bird watching.
Do you think he's just talking about her?
What's it say?
Was it actually talking about birds?
She's like, what are you doing, weirdo?
He was like, bird watching?
He was just watching her.
That is super interesting.
Okay.
I find it hard to believe he was bird watching in the park.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's be honest.
He was probably trying to rape someone.
But in that situation, I don't know if it was her, right?
I mean, I think it was.
Maybe she called the cops because she knew he was trying to rape somebody in the park.
Honestly, who asked to leash a dog?
That's just a murder.
A rapist.
A rapist type of culture.
White women have like a spider sense for black male rapists.
Yeah.
Especially in Central Park.
100.
Dog's like a weapon.
If he's saying, leash your dog, it's like, oh, put your mace away.
Exactly, because the dog could run at him, but if he's leashed, you can't.
Yeah.
I want you to be defenseless.
Yeah, put your brass knuckles in your backpack.
She's looking ahead.
That's what nobody's doing.
Nobody's looking ahead.
That's the first step.
Leash up your dog.
Tie it to a tree.
Yeah, right?
Use your sweater to leash him.
There we go.
White women know, man.
We got to trust white women.
Believe all women, bro.
You have to believe all women.
This is women.
If there's one thing that we learned from this weekend, it's believe all women.
You know what?
We should have learned it earlier.
Say again.
We should have learned it earlier.
We should have learned it earlier.
This is just confirming what we should have already known.
Why are we letting black people into the park?
Oh, my God.
Why are we doing it?
Guys, we know what could happen, right?
We know.
Like, thank God there are these white women out there.
Protecting the park.
Protecting the park.
Like, you don't need those park rangers.
You don't need park officials.
You need white women.
Honestly, give them a little goofy ass hat.
White women should have all the power.
White women should have all the power.
It's clear they know what to do with it.
They know what to do.
They don't abuse it.
How many people got raped that day?
Not her.
Not her.
That's I'll tell you that.
Just stop doing her.
One less.
One less.
Yeah, negative one rapes.
Real talk.
Wait a minute, what?
What?
How did it become negative?
Because it would have been one if she didn't.
So that's zero.
If she didn't do her civic duties.
I think one minus one is zero.
No, that's negative.
How do you get negative rapes?
It didn't go in her.
So that's zero.
Shit.
I don't want to listen to this math debate.
This is a math debate.
All I'm trying to do is.
The focus is that we got to believe all women.
We got to believe all women.
I apologize.
I'd like to apologize.
You don't want me out of all that.
I have said some chauvinistic things.
I've said some chauvinistic things, bro.
I've said some tovinistic things on this podcast.
And I really would like to say I apologize to all women.
And from now on, I'm going to believe you all no matter what you say.
All the time.
No matter what you say, I believe you.
All the time.
That's it.
I cheated on you in your dream.
I did that.
Hey, I did that.
I should be in trouble.
In your fucking dream.
Yeah.
And you're stupid ass subconscious that you can't control, idiot.
I cheated on you.
It's hilarious.
Why would you make me that in your dream?
Isn't that hilarious?
That's the best case, me.
Their fantasy is just they get to yell at you.
No, their fantasy is also my fantasy.
See how much we have in common, babe.
But I believe you.
I believe all women.
You know what?
I believe no men.
I think believe all women is not.
I don't think it's extreme enough.
I think believe no men.
I think that's the next step.
What do you think about that?
I think you're right.
Believe.
You have to.
No men.
You can't stop and believe all women.
Believe.
Understand.
No men.
Because if you're believing all women, you can't believe.
All men too.
Yeah.
And maybe you're right.
Maybe you just believe no men.
If you believe no men, no matter what women say, it's going to be believed.
Yeah.
Because you don't believe the man.
Exactly.
Now, what happens when these dykes start raping each other?
Believe both.
Now we talk.
Believe both, though.
You believe both.
What about a tranny?
Which way?
Male to female, female to male?
Male to female.
Nope.
Male to female?
Male to female don't believe.
Female to male believe.
Because that woman is still all women.
Yo, real talk.
Honestly, if a female tranny turns into a man and she says she's a man, you know what I do?
I believe her, bro.
You gotta believe all women.
You gotta believe all women.
Now, if a man turns into a woman, do we believe him?
Apparently not.
We don't believe men.
You can't believe men.
You can't believe men, bro.
All he's doing is trying to get away with lying in the future.
That's why he's doing this sexual woman so you think, oh, I should believe her.
No, he's just doing it to plot some shit.
Oh, my God.
What a scumbag.
Men never have good intentions.
Men never have pieces of shit.
Garbage.
How often do you dream about your girl cheating on you?
Never.
Never, right?
What a piece of garbage you are that you don't take your insecurities into your fucking dream world.
What a piece of shit you are.
I don't let her get good dick in my dreams.
Yo, you are one selfish piece of shit.
I'm a piece of shit that you would not let your girl that you love get some fat dick in your dreams.
For once.
One time.
Shout out with the skinny Mindy.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, gosh.
How the fuck could you do that?
How could you put her through that?
You know why?
Please tell me.
I don't know.
Because I'm a man.
And I am therefore garbage.
Oh, my God, bro.
I mean, it's just, I, I'm so bad.
You know, we all are in this room.
Honestly, believe nothing you heard on this podcast.
Believe nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I'm disgusted by us all.
The only way it would be a fact is if we had a woman come sit in this chair and she validate every single thing.
Yeah.
That's the only way it is.
So we'd like to apologize to all women for not believing y'all.
Now, this weekend really proved how important it is to believe you.
You fucking get it.
You know.
We're sorry.
Yeah.
And we're sorry about that brutal rape that you had to go through.
Oh, God.
Brutal.
Yeah.
Brutal.
Could you put a leash on your dog?
Help.
Could you please leash up your dog so I could watch the birds and not be scared?
No.
Stop.
No means no.
Real talk.
Yeah, I just.
I'm sorry we had to start the podcast off on such a serious note, man.
Usually we don't like to do it.
We like to keep things light and we like to keep things smooth over here, but some things are so serious you have to address them.
Yeah, you can't always be funny.
You can't always be funny.
You can't always be jokey.
It's not, this is not a joking matter.
When a white woman almost gets raped in Central Park and has to stop it herself, where were the men to step in?
Can I just tell you something?
She was violently raped, bro.
You know what?
When it's one black guy, that counts as five black guys.
You didn't understand that?
In the eyes of a white woman, one black guy turns into Voltron, separates into multiple guys.
That's how it works.
Central Park V. Central Park V was really one guy.
Wow.
Think about them.
What are the names of the Central Park Five?
It was John.
It was Adam.
It was Malik.
It was Alan.
And it was Lionel, right?
What does that spell?
Jamal.
Lionel was a reaching.
I was reaching for that, Alan.
I didn't even know it was going to be five lessons for Jamal.
I thought Jamal was six when I plotted it out of my head.
Believe Jamal women, bro.
Say what?
Yo, we got to believe Jamal women, bro.
I heard this lady got fired from her job.
What was her job?
Dog walker problems?
She was a sweet ass bitch.
She did her job-ass job.
She was abusing that fucking dog.
If there was one moment where the white lady and the black woman kind of got along, it was probably the way that she was abusing the fuck out of that dog.
Did you see?
I haven't watched that.
Dude, that's the most tragic part of it.
They're trying to hang the dog.
Yeah.
Like, it was fucked up.
Like, if he stepped in right there and he like beat her up a little bit to protect the dog, I think we would have been okay.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah, you always protect a dog.
Oh, boy.
You want to play it?
Yeah, play it.
Play it.
Play it.
Everything break.
Okay.
Oh, you got the whole video.
He got the minute.
He got the full minute.
Oh, yeah.
She comes.
She's dragging this guy.
Oh, she got the pre-pants.
Please don't come close to me.
Please take your phone off.
Please don't come close to me.
Please, please call the cops.
Please call the cops.
I'm going to tell them there's an African-American man threatening my life.
Please tell them whatever you like.
I mean, that's a brave black guy, dog.
I would not take those odds, bro.
The second a white lady goes to the African-American threat in my life.
He's a bird-watching black.
He knows how to handle himself.
He felt confident in that situation.
Be honest, Al.
A white lady comes to you with a cocker spaniel dog.
Look at her choking the shit out of that dog.
That's foul, huh?
She could choke the dog.
She could check.
Where's Carol Baskins?
She was projecting something when she was handling that dog.
This is what was going to happen.
There's a lynching coming.
Sorry, I can't hear you.
All right, listen, whatever.
It gets same, same old shit.
If you guys don't know what we're referencing, just look up this lady that called the cops on this black guy.
This black guy literally was just hanging out in the park and he asked the lady to put the leash on her dog.
Yeah.
I mean, you're fucking annoying with that shit.
Like, come on.
Like, if somebody doesn't have a leash on their dog, they probably know their dog is going to run around biting people.
That being said, you do have the right to ask people to put the leash on their dog.
It's literally the law.
It's the law.
It is the law.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
I get it.
Maybe it makes you feel uncomfortable.
You have the right to feel comfortable in the park alongside, you know, just as sure as you're going through all the laws.
Yeah, no, he said that if a white lady asks a black dude to put a leash on a dog, I'm like, bitch, stop it.
Yeah.
I mean, come on, white lady.
Come on.
But also, the dog could be scaring away the birds.
Like, for real.
Right.
I don't really think he's bird watching in a park.
You don't think so?
No, I don't think that we have any like amazing species of birds.
No, that's a thing.
Bird watching, and I believe it.
It's a thing.
In Central Park.
100% a thing.
Yeah.
Central Park is like an actual, it's like, there's a lot of wildlife there.
But also, this is a Harvard-educated Marvel editor or something.
He's a nerd.
I can 100% believe a nerd is watching birds in Central Park.
I almost had this happen to me.
So I was riding my bike in Central Park.
Cat calling women.
This area where people tend to bird watch.
And I had to bring back a classic.
Like somebody's like, no bike riding in this area.
And I was like, cocksuckers say what?
And I brought back a classic.
She said, what?
And I felt good and kept riding.
You know what he just did?
I don't understand what just happened.
He said, cocksuckers say what?
White Male Privilege Explained00:09:19
No, I get that.
And then she said, what?
Yeah, I get that.
And that was good.
How did that tie into bird watching?
Well, he raped her afterwards.
Exactly.
What do you think happened next?
Yo, read between the lines.
You're like, but no, bird watching is a thing because I was riding my bike and I called the bitch a cocksucker.
Bird watching.
I didn't understand how it tied together.
Yo, Arka's got a high, you know, litmus test for comedy.
Do you know what I mean?
This guy don't play around.
He don't play with your little cute little one-line.
Friends level funny.
Come here.
Friends level funny, bro.
I'm not fucking around over here, yo.
If you're not Chenandler Bing, I'm not hearing it.
Chandler Bing, dog.
The fucking goat.
So, yeah, so that's what happened in New York this week.
Everybody's going crazy on it.
What a fucking cunt, huh?
I mean, just the stupidest, whitest bitch ever.
And everybody's jumping on it, and people are like, I've been anti-white woman for a long time.
You have been.
And I honestly defend white women because everybody hates them, though.
I don't think it's real.
I'll tell you why.
One, because I know what it's like when everybody's on like the I Hate White Guys train.
Yeah.
And they were too blind to realize it was going to come to them next.
Like, I used to see all these female comics go up and like hate on white guys and like who would have thunk women lack foresight?
Never would have seen that coming.
So it's like, I used to see them all go up and like they bashed the white guys.
And Burr has a great bit about it, but like they bashed the white guys like with the non-white straights.
Yeah.
Like white guys just became this like group that you kind of like bash, which is fine.
Like it's the joke is funny.
I'm all about the funniest joke.
I don't care.
But I would remember watching the white female comics up there doing it, the straight white female comics.
And I and I remember just smiling myself at the back of the dock table of the Southern Village Other Ground.
I'm like, oh, you bitches don't know it's you next.
And it's like, they're gonna get tired of us, right?
Like you get tired of white guys eventually, or you need white guys, right?
Like obviously with the corona, like we were talking about in the piece that we made, but like a white guy's gonna make the vaccine.
A white guy's gonna figure something like, you need white guys eventually.
You're gonna need us.
It's just what it is, right?
The things that white women do amazingly are extra credit, right?
Like white girls are gonna figure out how to save animals.
Carol Baskins, classic white girl.
They're gonna figure out how to save the environment.
Greta Thunberg.
Do you know what I mean?
They do the extra credit shit that like credit.
It works when everything else in society is already figured out, right?
When you need to get down to the nitty-gritty, we pay for the house, you clean it.
And they hire some Mexicans to clean it, right?
Like it's not even them that's clean and really, you know?
Yeah.
So it's like the extra credit they're phenomenal at.
So I give them a lot of credit when it comes to that.
I'm like, all right, you guys are about it.
Like you're about diversity.
They're the first ones to fuck someone of a different race.
You know what I mean?
They're really the most progressive.
When you really think about who the most progressive people on the planet are in terms of like policy and what they do, they'll adopt the kid forever.
They'll adopt you.
They'll do it.
They are all about making the world a better place.
But it works in luxury.
When shit hits the fan, when you're in a park with your dog off the leash, you know why?
Because they've always been in luxury.
But that's the thing they don't realize.
They really believe, they believe that their struggle and Harriet Tubman is the same struggle.
Like they're like, don't it suck in the underground railroad?
I've been sneaking, I've been sneaking downstairs to make breakfast.
You've been sneaking black people over to Mason Dixon.
It's the same thing, isn't it?
Like they really believe they're living in the same world.
I remember I did a show and then some white comic came up after me, female.
And first of all, I hate when comics talk about the guy who just got off stage when they got on stage if it's not like off of their joke or whatever.
But she was just like, I think if we can learn from the last comic set, it's that men have it hard.
And I wanted to be like, you're a white woman.
What do you think your life is that you can sit there and be like, oh, men have it hard.
If you're looking at any Nate McIntosh put it the best.
He said, white women are so privileged that it used to be white privilege and now it's become white male privilege.
And then female, white females are part of the minority circle.
You're so privileged, you privilege your way out of being called privileged.
I've never understood this metaphor that you've always used or this analogy.
Yeah, you're so it used to be white privilege and then all the minorities here.
Now it's just white male privilege and then white females just got down here.
We're disadvantaged.
We have, we are oppressed.
You're so privileged, you just slithered out of that and you're just like, oh no, white men.
Oh, so you're saying by not being privileged, you're privileged.
By not being called privileged and still getting all the benefits of white men?
Like what in society did white women really not get voting?
Who gives a fuck?
Grow up.
Okay.
I mean, okay, I will say this.
While we were at war, they had to play softball.
And that is like, no, no, no.
That is a huge sacrifice that they made for America, bro.
You have to understand, like, there were white guys, they were in trenches, right?
Just getting dysferenced, whatever the fuck that is.
Yeah.
Right.
And then there were women playing software.
What's worse, trench toe or turf toe?
Or turf toe.
Again, currently, bro.
That was a real thing.
But no, in all seriousness, obviously, white women have been through tons of shit.
I'm not saying that they haven't.
They've been in a...
Look, I'm not trying to discredit the things they went through, etc.
That being said, if we're looking at like the if we're ranking struggle in terms of like a 100-meter dash, right?
American struggle, whether you like to believe it or not, is no different than the final heat of the 100-meter dash.
We're all fractions of a second apart, right?
Maybe white people are Usain Bolt.
We're winning by a couple lengths, but then everybody's coming in pretty close compared to the rest of the world.
I had his exact thought last night.
Do you see what I'm saying?
With the running metaphor?
No, no, no, not running.
Just like the idea of American privilege.
It reminded me.
I was like, yo, I'm thinking about my cousins back in India who are just like poor.
Right.
But like, just to get people to understand it, I wanted them to think about that race, right?
We're all running in the front.
We're stretching out our chests across the finish line, right?
And I'm not going to push back against white privilege, right?
You are.
You saying both to use your metaphor.
You're ahead.
I am ahead, right?
I have an expectation of what it is, et cetera, of normalcy, that, this, that, the other.
That being said, if you want to compare to the world in any other place, nobody is trading places with their cousins who are from where they're originally from.
Ever.
Nobody's going back.
Correct.
Right?
Al not even going back to Puerto Rico, and that's part of America.
That's true.
You know what I'm saying?
So it's like, so everybody's that.
So what we're complaining about in America is kind of hysterical.
But that being said, you only know what you know.
So I do get it.
I do get it.
I go, you're not living in fucking Romania.
You're not living in the Congo.
You're not living in these types of places.
So of course you don't know what that struggle is like.
You have a unique experience where you get to go back to your fuck shit and see why your parents left.
Yeah.
Right.
So you have actual perspective and you complain less.
But what if someone don't even know where they're from?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I get it.
I just, it's, I don't know, there's something where it's like you tell white dudes in middle America, like, you guys don't care about us.
You're monsters because you don't get it.
And then you try to tell that same person, like, yeah, but think about people in like fucking North Korea or whatever.
And they're like, yeah, but I only know what I know.
And somehow you can't apply that logic to a white middle America privileged guy when you expect him to understand your struggle.
And he's like, well, I only know what I see.
I only know what I know.
I only know what's around me.
Yo, you know what it is?
We got to stop acting like we give a fuck about each other.
I'm so on board with that, dog.
It's my whole philosophy.
I don't ask y'all to give a fuck about India ever.
I don't want you to.
I don't give a fuck about y'all.
Damn.
Ouch.
Yeah.
Puerto Rico don't have electricity.
Have I ever asked you about that, Al?
Oh, but I don't care.
No, no, no.
I'm saying like, I'm not saying we shouldn't give a fuck about each other.
I think it's valuable to care about one another.
What I'm saying is what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, let's stop acting like we do.
The yeah, the what is it?
The high horse or whatever, standing on the pedestal.
Yeah, like nobody really cares.
Like Susan Saranin cares, but she's bored.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, all these actors act like they care about the struggle, but like you spend a month to learn an accent.
This actually ties into the Lana Del Rey situation.
What is the Lana Del Rey thing?
So last week, she made a comment like, oh, now that Doja Cat, Ariada Grande, Camilla Cabaro, Cardi B. Kalani, Nikki Binaj Beyonce, they all sing about fucking, wearing no clothes and cheating.
Can I please go back to singing about embodied feeling beautiful and being in love and all this type of shit?
So she came under criticize because everybody she listed was a minority.
She's Mexican.
No, she's Italian.
She's not.
She's Italian.
But she's half something.
No, she's Italian.
Everybody, she gets, yo, the cultural appropriation clan or whatever the fuck they call her.
We're gonna come back at this bitch at some point.
We all just decided she's Latina because it's because Grande is in there.
Grande Confidence and Money Back00:03:21
Yeah.
But she white and she be tanning.
She's grande like your fucking Starbucks.
Yeah.
She's not Grande like Corrico.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Perfect.
Oh, yeah, well, whatever.
But she came under criticism because all the other singers that she mentioned, except Ariana, are non-white.
And so she's like, bitch, you don't, you have it easy.
Every time you put a song out, even though it's about abuse or fucking killing herself or some shit like that, you'll still hit number ones and shit like that.
So it's like, why are you complaining?
And then why mention these other singers?
Like, you're trying to put yourself in with these other singers.
I didn't even know Londo Ray was putting out music.
I swear to you, I don't know who she is.
That's the thing.
It's like, why knock somebody else?
Yo, you know what it is?
This week, people got real bored.
Something happened this week.
They got real sad.
Hey, man, open it up, I think.
It happened.
I might not open it up.
Because now it's enough.
Now we're bored again.
Open it up.
Because they're like reaching into the vault.
They're reaching into the racism vault.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
They're really fine and shit.
Like, Jimmy Fallon.
They got the Fallon.
That's America's.
The Londo Ray.
I mean, the Joe Biden shit was hilarious.
We got to talk about Joe Biden shit because is mad funny to me?
Like, all right, we're going to take a break for a second, man.
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Now, let's get back to the show.
Like, first of all, okay, so many things about this.
Black Voting Leverage for Trump00:10:33
We're talking about Joe Biden breakfast club interview.
It was really just Joe Biden and Charlemagne.
Charlemagne was great.
And a phenomenal.
And Charlemagne, at the end of the video, Joe Biden goes, he goes, listen, if you're having trouble deciding between Trump or me.
Before that, Charlemagne is saying, we need to talk more because I want to know what you're going to do for our community before I decide who to vote for.
It's a lot of time left before November.
So we got to have more talks.
Right.
And then, and then Biden goes, listen, if you're having trouble deciding between Trump or me, then you ain't black.
And he smiles.
He's obviously joking around, etc.
Black Twitter goes crazy.
The black vote ain't for free.
How dare you say this?
What does Biden think we are?
You think we're completely loyal to this?
Literally, a month ago, Diddy got canceled for saying the exact same shit in the opposite direction.
Hold on.
So Diddy literally goes, yo, the black vote ain't for free.
And people are like, how could you vote Republican, Diddy?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
What are you thinking?
Why would you vote for them?
Joe Biden just repeats the same thing that people say on black Twitter every single day.
They criticize the fuck out of Kanye for voting with Trump.
They criticize the fuck out of anybody who ever said that they would consider voting Trump.
And Biden just echoes those same sentiments.
And all of a sudden, black Twitter turned into like this rational swing state where it's like, well, I'm going to vote whoever does the best thing for me, et cetera.
No, no, no.
This shit was too funny.
Let them tweet that, though, and then tweet them back.
All right, but so are you going to consider voting Republican?
They're immediately going to be like, fuck nah, man.
So it was so funny.
Shout out to him.
I love Van Lathan.
I love Van.
But Van goes, that was completely inappropriate.
He goes, some shit like this.
He goes, I was completely inappropriate with what Biden said was completely inappropriate, disrespectful.
That being said, I'm still voting blue.
It doesn't matter.
It's like, come on, bro.
Y'all are Knicks fans.
I hate when they add that line at the end.
Because they don't want to look like sellouts.
Everybody's afraid of looking like, we're all afraid of the mob.
Yeah.
But the real, it's just that one line that people had a problem with.
Like, don't tell us you're not black if you don't vote for me.
Like, that's wild, son.
Oh, that's wild.
100%.
Listen, listen.
Everything else he said, warranted.
100%.
If he left that line out, he would have been.
He's going to do that all the time.
I know.
It's going to be so good.
It's going to be hilarious.
Honestly, if I was him, I would not have apologized.
If I was Biden, I'd be like, I stand by that 100%.
If you don't think that I'm going to do more for black people than this guy, then you don't care about black people.
Being black is not at the beginning of your identity.
It's not a core value that you care about.
I would double down on that shit 100%.
I'll tell you, you wouldn't have got elected.
I mean, I'm going to be the nominee.
Yeah, I don't understand.
He's the nominee.
Are you going to vote for Trump?
Like, is there anything Biden can say on that level that's like, you ain't black if you don't do this?
We're between a rock and a hard place, man.
We don't have anybody good we want to vote for.
We elected the hard place and the rock.
So like, what do you want to do?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
These are people people voted for.
So here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
I thought that the interview from Charlotte was genius because I think he guaranteed a black vice president, nominee.
Guaranteed.
Now they have to.
It's got to be Kamala.
If she turns it down, maybe it's someone else.
But there's no way it can be not a person.
It was going to be Klobuchar or whatever her name is, I think.
Oh, that's out.
Apparently, I was very close.
Gang for this.
Done.
Done.
Because if they don't do it, then black people can front like they're going to vote for Trump.
Now, I've been saying on Brilliant Idiots for maybe the past five years, and I've gotten tons of heat, and eventually people start to understand it.
But the conversations I've been having with Charlemagne and the things that Charlemagne is starting to say now have been echoing these sentiments, which is you cannot possibly get something from somebody, politically speaking, if they already feel like they have your vote guaranteed.
All of your leverage is not guaranteeing your vote.
If you notice, Obama doesn't co-sign the front.
Obama doesn't co-sign any candidate till he knows who won the primary.
But Biden was his guy.
Obama didn't say a peep until Biden wins the primary.
He is the Democratic nominee.
Now Obama's like, okay, I got you.
Right?
It's like you need to make sure that you can play and position yourself with your leverage.
If all black people are like, yo, we might fuck with Trump.
What do you got for us?
You got a bill?
You got a strategy?
Guaranteed.
Right now, Trump and his team are working on a black strategy.
Guaranteed.
I mean, they've been doing that.
No, no, but like a specific pointed black strategy to put their foot on Biden's fucking neck.
And that would actually crush it, to be honest.
If they came out right now with a phenomenal black strategy that the black elites really believed in and thought could work, I guarantee you could see a switch.
I guarantee it.
This is an unprecedented time.
I think what we really should take away from this is that we're going to get a black vice president thanks to Andrew.
That's what I think.
Come on.
I think that's the point of this whole thing.
He does it enough.
You don't got to do it for him.
He did it.
He just did it.
I'm just saying.
I know this.
And listen.
Yo, can I tell you something?
Let's say Biden wins, right?
Yeah.
Biden's probably going to die or at least become senile.
Yeah.
Okay.
He'll be removed.
First female.
Full black.
What?
First, full black president.
Full black.
If Biden's vice president dies, but Kamala.
Oh, it's going to be Kamala, you think?
Yeah.
So it's talking about this shit ever.
I ain't going for this bitch.
Fuck out of here, bitch.
Yo, apparently, Kamala was getting stroked by famous dudes back in the day.
Like, she's kind of cool.
She was like fucking Montel Jordan.
She was fucking a few other famous dudes.
Let's go.
Yeah, like she's kind of cool with it.
You know what I mean?
She fucked her boss.
She wanted that power spot.
You know, she'll kill Biden.
I 100% buy that.
Well, you mean like from nagging?
Maybe.
Female vice president is a wild idea.
What do you mean?
I don't got enough women talking to me, telling me what to do, bro.
Fall the fuck back, girl.
God, dude, for a second, I thought that's what the president's wife was.
I totally forgot in that little moment of time.
I totally forgot that Pence was there.
And I was like, wait, ain't it always a female vice president?
Yo, real talk, that's what the vice president should be.
Just the wife.
Oh, bro.
And then you could divorce that bitch out of a vice president.
Every argument she brings up, bitch, you want to be a nice woman.
You want to be an ex-vice president, real quick?
She'd probably still keep the White House, though.
He's got to move into a penthouse in D.C. somewhere.
He didn't go to a hotel.
It is interesting.
We'll see what happens.
But I, I look, I love it.
You know, me, I'm going to point out hypocrisy where I see it.
But I love the fact that black people are starting to publicly recognize the power of their vote and are willing to leverage that into progress because that is what most tight-knit communities do.
And they do it on a local level because usually they don't have the numbers to influence a national election, right?
But like the Chinese community in Chinatown, I'm sure, will do whatever they can to like get, you know, congressmen or what is it called, like state assemblymen or whatever hired in their area to serve their interests.
Black people should do that shit, just like everybody else.
I 100% think every minority is perfectly great when they support themselves and they all are all about themselves and support their own businesses and all that.
And if black people realize they can swing an election like this, it might be the first step to being like, oh, we should just do everything and take over.
Real talk?
Real talk.
Think about how much political leverage black people would have if you swung the election for Trump.
Think about how much political leverage black people have if they all decide to vote Trump this election and Trump wins by that percentage point And they fully were like, listen, we're just going to the highest bidder, right?
Not to bring it back to that point.
Political bidder.
Political bidder.
It's a different one you're selling yourself.
Dude, it's a little different.
It's a little different.
It's not so bad.
It's empowering that way.
So, but like, realistically, think about that.
Like, imagine, do you know how right now, like, Wisconsin and what are the other states?
Ohio.
Yeah.
They're like certain states, the swing states in America have massive political leverage, right?
And presidents will go visit and stump in these small states that really, I don't want to say are insignificant, but have far less significance economically than New York or California or Texas or something like that, right?
But presidents will go there and beg for their votes.
Black people could potentially be that.
Yep.
Imagine that.
You would have every fucking president tap dancing, all these old white guys tap dancing for you guys for your fucking votes, especially if you knew you were swing.
If you knew black people would swing.
I think that's a problem.
They don't know that we're willing to swing.
But right now, they're not going to be able to do that.
Because who watches that?
Because you're not.
I know.
That's true.
That's what I'm saying.
It is true.
But I'm saying to do it.
They already tap dance for our vote.
So they already tap dance for our vote.
They don't.
For the primary.
Yeah, come on.
Like in South Carolina, they were shucking and jiving.
You had that guy dance at the fucking juvenile, back that ass up.
You had Biden.
He was like, his whole...
Hey, maybe Biden is wrong.
Maybe if you don't vote for Trump, you ain't black.
Maybe that's the black move is voting for Trump.
Swing that election, yo.
Real talk, bro.
Yeah, but the funniest thing that people didn't miss in that interview, Charlotte asked him about like his black agenda.
And he's like, yeah, you haven't seen my black agenda, the black manifesto.
Son, he called it the black manifesto.
The name of his black agenda rug.
It's called Lift Every Voice.
And he called it the Black Manifesto.
Like, nobody caught that.
That's so funny.
I mean, I don't think anybody knew what the fuck his black agenda was.
And what was his black agenda?
And look, here's the reality.
No black agenda is going to be good enough.
Because you want to know why?
Land Ownership in Cemeteries00:07:50
Because who said the 40 acres and a mule thing back in the day?
Shit.
First of all, let's be honest.
Back in the day, that would have been.
No, no, no.
But let's be honest.
I hear a lot of black people talking about, I want the 40 acres and a mule.
Figuratively.
Y'all don't know what to do with a mule.
The mule.
What's going to do with a mule, yo?
You don't know what to do with a mule.
How about the Pinto?
How about that instead of a mule?
You're going to make one oxtail.
You're going to call Kamala Harris Jamaican ass over.
Like, yo, how we cook up this mule back?
You're going to make one meal out of that mule and then that shit gonna be done.
You give us all mules and next milk, every white person is gonna be drinking his mule milk.
What's gonna do?
We'll find a way.
Let's be honest.
We'll find a way.
Let's be honest.
40 acres and a mule, dog.
I mean.
One mule for 40 acres?
What?
Yeah, yeah.
That's actually, that was a raw deal back then.
How you gonna get one mule to go over 40 acres?
I don't even know what's going on.
How fast black people were.
How good did they think black people were at farming?
And they're like, nah, just get one mule.
They will handle this shit.
Oh, man.
Each black person was going to get 40 acres and a mule.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
That's an amazing deal, bro.
Yeah.
We still waiting.
But who said no to wait?
What happened?
Was there like a paper or something?
People just didn't give it.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Yes.
That's why we're still waiting.
I think we're telling you.
This is how brilliant white people are marketing wise is they promised that and never gave it.
And then if you do that to somebody else, you're called an Indian giver.
How the fuck is it not a white giver?
Son, where do you think we learned it from?
Them fucking Indians, bro.
God, we talked you down up front.
Say what?
We talk you down up front and then we pay what we promised.
Not you, the Indian.
You dumbass.
You thought it was about y'all.
You thought Indian Given was you?
No, it's the feathers, bro.
What did they promise?
We sold, we got Manhattan for the fucking beads and a feather.
Yeah.
Whatever.
$5 and a fucking half a mule.
Exactly.
Right?
Half a mule.
And then they were like, oh, no, that's our land.
We buried our ancestors.
No, we give a fuck.
See what I'm saying?
Yo, that's another thing we got to talk about.
They always love to talk about, oh, this is an ancestral burial ground.
It's like back in the day, you just buried someone where they died.
Did you?
Nah, it was like a cemetery.
They didn't have no fucking cemetery.
Like they would bury all the people in the same spot.
How do you know that?
Because there'll be mad bodies in the same spot.
What you mean?
I don't, I think, because you live there.
What, you're going to take them down to the next town?
I don't think he's wrong.
I'm not sure he's wrong.
I'm just telling you that we'd have to look up.
No, no, no, but look, but before we get the facts, let's just talk.
Come on, let's have fun, right?
So, like, you're right, you're right.
So, this is what I'm trying to say: is like people act like there's some sort of ownership of land because you buried a motherfucker there.
But, like, you just buried a dude where he died or close.
Nah, it's not.
Yes, dude.
Think about how many white people died and you buried your uncle, your cousin, your grandfather in the backyard, and then you sold that land.
Well, that's no longer just one body.
It'll be a bunch of bodies.
I don't think cemeteries are some shit y'all do too.
We benefit cemeteries.
And ain't nobody building.
Matter of fact, in Manhattan, in Wall Street, there's just this random plot of land that you can't build on because it's a white cemetery.
White people are buried there.
That's different.
I'm not talking about where white people are buried, bro.
That's where ghosts come from.
You don't want to fuck with them, okay?
Ain't no black ghosts.
You know, Indian ghosts.
Bro, why did no Indian ghosts, bro?
Somebody burned the body.
Get the fuck out.
Burn the bodies.
We all cremated.
Ain't nothing to hang around.
I guess you're right.
You can't burn the soul.
Nah, man.
We just, we go to the next life.
We're chilling.
But let's talk about that because we got reincarnation.
We got the next life.
Oh, that's how you're already on it.
You're on to the next shit.
White people, we didn't think about that.
No, you didn't.
So.
You had the foresight of the other Indians on that one.
We didn't think that shit through.
What, the other Indians?
Yeah, when they were in the middle of the day.
They weren't thinking, bro.
And everybody look at the, I got to look more into these Native Americans.
They needed some Jewish lawyers to look over that contract.
Did they?
Did they?
So they helped a lot.
Land deals and you ain't had no Jewish lawyer?
Come on.
But here's the thing.
What's funny is somebody had a jokes about this where like they thought they were getting over on us.
Yeah.
So that makes them scumbags because they had no idea of ownership of land.
Yeah.
Right?
So they're like, wait a minute, these idiots are going to give us some fucking beads and a necklace to have this land that nobody's allowed to own anyway.
Haha, stupid.
Yeah.
So they thought they were ripping off us off.
So that's karma.
You got God, dummy.
Right?
On some level, you can't feel bad because they thought they were ripping.
Like, both of us walked out of that deal like fucking idiots.
Right?
Yeah, no.
You can't say I'm wrong on that one.
Okay, so then there's this thing about the burial ground.
You can't make a casino on this land because it's an ancient burial ground.
My point is, as long as there were humans living in an area, there's going to be someone buried there.
Get over that shit.
Yeah, but white people do that shit too, is my point.
But what are you talking about?
You talk about burial grounds you don't have the same rules.
We don't have cemeteries.
You don't have the same rules, bro.
It's different.
Honestly, can I be completely honest with you?
I think we should dig up all cemeteries.
I think it's a wild, like, it's wild.
I just bury shit and then just land.
Dig it up.
Dig it up.
Yeah.
It's fucking bones.
I'm not saying that we have to burn them all.
I don't know what happens, but I think it is egregious.
I think there's a lot of land being used for cemeteries.
For what?
I don't think they're keeping up with the amount of people dying.
Something seems fishy because I don't see cemeteries getting bigger.
They're not getting bigger.
The one with Queens?
Been the same size, been the same number of fucking plots, but I always see more funerals.
Here's a better question: I think they wait till all the family dies off.
And they scooped out.
You're like, oh, we got a new lot.
Dogs.
Whoa.
Think about it.
Think about it.
I think they'd see how many people come visit.
And then if you don't come visit for a couple years, bye.
Yo.
100%.
That shit is like cocoa and you got forgotten when you're in the middle.
It's a rock for you.
Come on, don't bring that movie up, man.
Yo, son, I'll watch this shit again.
It's the best movie of the millennium.
Think about this.
This shit is incredible.
Think about this.
Have you ever seen a construction site at the cemetery?
Okay, yeah.
No.
Like, think about this.
Like, you see plots of land that are unused, and it says a for sale sign.
I ain't never seen a for-sale sign at the funeral or at the cemetery.
First of all, do you buy it from the pre-people?
Who owns the cemetery?
So people own the land and decide to build a cemetery on it.
I think what kind of morbid motherfuckers would do that?
White ones.
It can't be white guys.
Wait a minute.
Do you pay rent for that spot for the rest of your life?
Buy the plot.
Pay once.
Buy the plot.
So they got land.
They're landlords.
Dummies.
You fucking dummy.
If I was them.
Wait a minute.
Can I buy someone who's dead?
What the fuck?
Where's this going?
I'm just saying, if I buy enough of the plots, can I just build a house?
Yo, real talk.
Yeah, you could.
If I bought enough plot, if I'm like, yo, my whole family's going to die, like, respect, like, let me get that shit right.
And then I buy enough, and then I could just put a little fence up so I don't got to see none of these dead fucks.
Yeah.
And I hear all that weeping.
Yeah.
Yo, when people go to the cemetery and they leave their little flowers and shit, it's touching the sea.
But like, if you're in heaven, right?
Yeah.
And you're looking down.
Do you think you feel different when they go to the cemetery and they go to your stone?
Or if they're in the living room, like right before they watch the game, they're like, yo, I miss you.
Buying Enough Burial Plots00:15:08
No, I think you feel different.
Because they're going out their way to do it.
Y'all, some ladies with this effort shit.
Why is everything about effort?
Like, why is the effort doesn't matter when I go to work?
Why is that not effort?
Women are always right.
What is this?
I want you to write a card.
What are you talking about?
Write a card.
Ain't nobody talking about it.
But there's effort.
Yo, why?
Why?
Why women can't?
Why is it fire?
No, no.
I think you didn't talk about it.
I think it was some dreams.
I think it was some dreams I had.
I didn't talk about this.
I didn't talk about this.
We didn't talk about that.
Hey, ladies.
Hey, ladies.
I just appreciate if you went through the effort of dreaming of me cheating on you.
Ladies, Lizzie, I just want to make sure that when I'm talking about ladies, I'm not talking about white women.
Y'all never wrong.
But everybody else.
Everybody else, we believe you, white women.
Don't worry about it.
But everybody else, ladies.
So explain to me the effort shit, right?
Because like for some reason, effort that like going to work is not effort.
But like when you write a card, they're like, I just like the effort.
Or like, oh, you went and got this specific thing, or you made me a collage, or like you went and found like my favorite pop-tart.
Like, there's all these things, right?
And I'm starting to believe it's not effort, it's just inconvenience.
It's like, that's what you equate love.
It's like, is it bothersome?
Yeah.
Is that love being bothersome?
Can I play devil's advocate and I mean devils if your girl orders food for you or cooks food for you, which one means more?
The exact same.
Real talk?
Whichever one tastes better.
The exact same.
Wow.
The exact matter of fact, I'm going to get fucked up for even saying it.
You want me to say it, guys?
No, no, no.
Let me not say this the exact same, dog.
If I'm being completely honest, I really, I love the fact that she cooks because my girl cooks all the time.
Yeah.
I love the fact that she cooks.
It's great.
The food is there, et cetera.
It's amazing.
Sometimes she orders in and she'll order in it.
She'll take it off the plate or take it out of the box and put it on the plate, Miss Doubtfire style.
Yep.
That shit is lit.
What if you're eating out the box?
Do you care?
Honestly, I'm okay.
You know what it is?
It's like a struggle in America.
It's that same 100-meter dash.
If she cooks at home, Usain Bolt.
You know, if she orders in, Tim Montgomery is close.
I don't know who Tim Montgomery is.
Just another record.
I like it when she cooks, but if she was like, I'd rather just order in, I'm totally cool with that.
I just like the fact that she put, she like.
I just like the fact that she puts what son.
The devil ain't always wrong.
You know what I mean?
And what do we say?
Believe all women.
Damn right.
Oh, shit.
Fuck, dude.
You gotta believe him, bro.
When they say it's the effort.
Nah, it's not the effort.
I like the...
I already believe him, bro.
Oh, God.
I almost said the thought.
Oh, wow.
That's even more gay.
Shit.
What that counts?
Yo, well, I think I get it now, yo.
Because if my girl made the dinner or she bought a super expensive dinner, it's really the fact that there was dinner there when I got home.
Yeah.
It's not that she paid for it.
Right?
Right.
That makes sense.
Right.
And they would love a really nice card or like a thoughtful date where like you pay attention to a story she told you one time and then like there was that there.
You know?
And then so I see, okay, I'm starting to understand a little bit now.
Boy, I'm 36.
I know.
I know.
I ain't going to do it.
You're a real nigga.
That's why.
No, I ain't going to do it.
I ain't going to do it.
My dad didn't do it.
There you go.
Put in effort?
My dad would, he was so thorough in his convictions, bro.
I don't think he got my mom flowers on Mother's Day one time.
Wow.
Wow.
No, really?
That just wasn't his thing.
Like, I think that just wasn't his thing.
Yeah.
But not that he didn't care, but he was just like, what's that about?
Like, I love you every single day.
Like, what's your brother?
Whatever.
When you talk about your mom, she also seems very practical as well.
So she doesn't seem like she cares about that.
You're shorty on that man.
Yeah.
I think you got to get some flowers on Mother's Day, B, even if she's not a mother.
Yeah.
Nah, nah, Now I'm fucking thinking about it.
Now I kind of understand it a little bit, huh?
Do you, do you care about that shit?
I really think about it with just food, but like.
With food, that shit makes sense, bro.
Yeah.
Like, if you cook for me, as opposed to getting me McDonald's.
So Mark told us the most fascinating thing before we started recording.
All right.
His girl throughout the entire year takes notes on people when they're just talking about shit.
And like if they mention something that they want.
So then, anytime their birthday or holiday comes around, she can go to her notes and get all the thoughtful things that that person actually wanted.
And she has notes about his family members.
So, if Mark didn't even know what to get his own family, she goes to her notes and her phone.
So, Mark looks like the thoughtful guy.
That's fucking incredible.
That's incredible, son.
That's effort.
I mean, that's yeah, that's gonna make for some great presents that he gets credit for.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I think effort at work should also be calculated into the equation.
I do like the way I see you trying to fight being a better boyfriend.
I appreciate that.
But do you understand what I'm saying?
Like, effort is effort.
Like, 100%, yo.
Women have a lot more effort to give because they're not working as much.
Yeah.
And I be thinking that all the time.
Like, you want gifts.
How about I work and you buy your own shit?
How about that?
That's not a gift.
How we just let that slide.
What'd he say?
Yeah, wow.
What'd he say?
I kind of heard a lot of stuff.
I'm still trying to make.
No, I made actually.
He said, if we're going off Andrew's point where there's like a two-year-don't do that.
Don't do that.
You better fucking do that.
You sit up.
If there's a total amount of effort, shut up.
Say it exactly how you said it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to math this shit.
Bro, I feel uncomfortable on the inside, bro.
Women aren't.
I think I just like, I don't feel right, bro.
I feel like I just found out I'm a training or something.
God damn, that shit feels real weird inside, man.
Bro, I literally said, I literally had to stop myself before I said effort and then tried to correct it and then stop myself before I said put some thought.
Dude, this is harsh, man.
Son, if I get, I'm so gay.
If I get gifts, I literally tell her it's a thought that counts.
Dog, y'all seen the sixth sense?
Yeah.
This shit, this is what it feels like, bro.
I see women.
You know what I mean?
Like, when you feel, fuck, dog, I see him.
Dog, I really see them.
I see him, dog.
I get it.
It's horrifying, right?
It's horrifying, bro.
Also, you know, a problem with our career is that we have too much fun for it to be work.
They don't think it's one thing that's fun.
You got to train them to know it's work.
Wait, what?
Do, man.
You got to do it.
You got to really make them understand.
And my homie said this.
Shouts to Oni Perez with his girl.
They broke up, so maybe it was a bad idea.
But literally, every time she'd be like, oh, are you going to go out for shows?
He'd be like, no, I'm going to go out for work.
And every time it became, oh, okay, he's going out for work.
You got to understand, just as we enjoy our job, doesn't mean we don't work hard at it.
Doesn't mean it's not hard.
Doesn't mean we don't put everything into it.
Nah, this shit mad easy, bro.
This shit's so fun.
Your job sucks.
And all y'all stupid.
We can have a fun and dance all day if we want.
Hey, yes, yes.
Cut that shit.
Cut that whole shit.
Hey, don't cut that shit.
It's going to be mad as it's.
There's going to be another designer bag sitting on the side of the room right here.
Couple weeks.
Oh, shit.
Nah, bro.
We had a great fucking system where we just buy the shit and that was worth it.
Yep.
Because the effort we put in, but I think back in the day, our jobs used to suck.
Yeah.
We're going to go to factories.
Work in a factory, go to war.
You know what I'm saying?
That was effort.
Not sit in a fucking lounge chair and talk about white bitches complaining.
What'd you do at work today, man?
What was your top?
How much?
You know what's crazier?
What do you do at work?
So much of my job is just complaining about her.
Like, what'd you do at work today?
Hey, we smoked some maybe weed.
We might have sucked.
Maybe it was weak, maybe it wasn't.
That's the way that it worked today.
Oh, man.
Jealous!
You fucking jealous.
No, but that shit doesn't work.
That's why we can't be as good of boyfriends.
Is that it?
How might my money?
You busy, yo.
What?
Busy.
You travel before.
Oh, my God.
You travel before Corona every weekend.
Every weekend.
Every weekend I was on the road, bro.
I had to go to fucking Hawaii, hang out on the beach.
You know what I'm saying?
That was crazy out there, bro.
You could bring her back a souvenir.
Dog, I even had to go on stage for a whole hour and be showered with love, dog.
How the fuck could I do that?
Hey, dog, it's hard to be a good boyfriend when you get showered with love everywhere else.
Yo, facts.
I mean, like, I'm full.
Yo, we be lying to our girls about the effort, man.
And the work.
I really do say that shit to my girl that I'm working 60 hours a week.
I'm mostly eating granola bars.
I'm mostly eating granola bars in that room, right?
Like, that's more.
The majority of those 60 hours is granola bars, bro.
No, bro.
Nah, man.
Do you ever pretend to be a little bit more?
Nah, we anesthesiologists out here.
Say what?
We like anesthesiologists.
What does that mean?
Somebody said back when I was going to pretend I was going to be a doctor.
You're talking about my anesthesia.
It's five minutes of sheer.
Everybody said it's the easiest job.
He's like, it's five minutes of extreme pressure and terror.
And the rest of the time you're chilling.
Every surgery, though, those five minutes, you could kill somebody.
Right.
It's mad high stakes.
We are here saying?
Yeah, we're like that, but clowns.
You at high stakes, short periods of time.
A lot of pressure.
Right.
But also, we're like that with no stakes.
Yeah, like real pressure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're just not like, we're like toll booth operators, son.
That's really what we are.
We just sitting here all day.
Nah, bro.
Honestly.
No, we're nothing like them.
We got better hours.
That's a fact.
What were you saying?
And we're inside.
But you ever come home and like pretend to be super stressed out and like really exhausted?
Just to like give you a shot?
No, I get stressed and now I'm starting to wonder why.
Because we're putting it on ourselves.
Now, life is good, yo.
Life is good.
We out here complaining.
So you're going to start giving effort now?
Nope.
I'm not saying I'm going to start giving effort, but.
You fucked up your excuse to not give effort.
I fucked up my excuse, dude.
I did not realize.
I did not realize that I value the effort, but I'm very grateful.
I show my gratitude.
I do show my gratitude, bro.
I do.
I do.
I come home.
I give her a big kiss and I grab her butt cheeks and I open them and close them real quick.
Just go like that.
And then we have a nice dinner, man.
And I'm very grateful.
And I say thank you all the time.
That's a good point.
Sounds like an even trade.
What does effort look like for a guy?
For girls, it's really easy to do effort.
Yeah.
Like, what could a guy do that's effort?
I think it's making money.
Yeah, also remembering her stories?
That shit is hard as fuck.
What?
Remembering her stories?
Like, thinking about her story and being like, bringing that up in a dinner.
You can remember them shits?
That's a fucking miracle, though.
Yeah, it's a miracle.
That's not effort.
That's like saying, like, lifting a car is effort.
When she said, do you remember when I told you about every time I'm like, there's no fucking cancer?
How would I remember?
And then when I do, I'm just like, oh, thank God.
Oh, we're good.
I'm good for another year off of this one.
Son, I feel very uncomfortable, bro.
My whole world got flipped, turned upside down.
I'd like to take a minute.
Sit right there.
Dude, man, this is crazy.
I get it now.
Yeah, man.
But I don't want to change my ways.
You don't gotta.
I don't gotta.
No, but you also fucked up letting everybody know how easy our job is.
That was stupid.
Oh, boy.
Hope it was worth it.
Fuck.
You have five minutes of content.
I'm not going to sit here and say we got a hard job, though, bro.
Them motherfuckers have got hard jobs out.
We're Americans struggling.
That's a fair point.
Say again.
We're doing the thing where we're complaining about a great life like America's.
Yeah.
Like we just get to kick it all day.
We're like firemen, you know?
Oh, man.
No.
I don't know, man.
I don't even know where to go from here.
What else can we talk about?
Like, I'm like, I'm honestly shell-shocked from that realization.
Yo, our girls told us our jobs weren't hard.
Should have believed all women.
We should have fucking believed all women, dog.
It isn't hard.
You know what it is?
It's not hard.
How do I say this?
You know how people are like, oh my God, like doing stand-up, that's the craziest thing.
I would never want to do that.
Yeah.
Right?
That's the hardest thing in the world.
Like, every person you'll ever meet that doesn't do stand-up tells you that your job is the hardest thing in the world.
Yeah.
I would sit down with Elon Musk.
I guarantee Elon Musk would be like, I could never do stand-up.
That's the craziest thing in the world.
Yeah.
I guarantee.
I don't know if it's the hardest thing, but I think the fear factor is so great for people that they assume it's that hard.
The Hardest Job in the World00:04:28
And I think you have to calculate the fear factor.
It's almost like rock climbing, it can't be that hard because white guys do it good.
That's true.
You know, athletically, you know what I'm saying?
Like, it can't be that hard.
You know, that's the only sports white people thrive in is one black people are scared to do.
We either price you out or we extreme you out.
Yeah.
That's how pricing out is a good one, too.
Price you out, extreme you out.
Hockey lacrosse.
Anything with a horse.
Right?
Anything with a horse or a mule.
Or a mule dog.
Dude, for real.
So it's like, yeah, I just can't like.
It's like his anesthesiologist analogy.
It's high stakes when you're on, when you're on stage.
Bombing is miserable.
And bombing is hard.
That's the thing everybody does.
It's a blow at all.
Yeah, they're afraid of that public humiliation.
And yeah, so there's a fear factor that's been attached to it that we're willing to put up with.
And anesthesiologists, they're afraid they can kill every person, but really, it's just doing a math problem that they've been trained to do.
And they've done it multiple times.
But is that on the anesthesiologist?
Like, if the person dies, that's not on them.
He's just doing them the same anesthesia.
Yeah, but they just could get fucked up.
They just check exactly how much you gave them.
Was it the correct procedure and all that type of shit?
So it's like if you fuck up one mathematical equation and kill somebody and then they say that, hey, you fucked up, then that's on.
Yeah, if you make a mistake, it's a very high-stakes mistake.
Yeah.
I'm not sure.
And then they could sue.
And then you have to pay a lot.
But it's the same anesthesia, right?
I mean, yeah, different types.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Huh.
You thought it was just one drug kick.
It's just anesthesia drug.
I'm going to be honest.
I thought it was called anesthesia.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not the name of the drug?
Nah, different type.
What's the name of the drug?
Like, it's different types.
It's like propovol.
That's the one that MJ died.
Son, I was on that shit for 10 minutes.
Oh, you were?
Son, it was the best in the world.
Really?
It's the best I've ever felt in my life.
I was so happy.
That's how motherfuckers get hooked on that shit.
Imagine if you start chasing that like MJ would.
Yeah.
The only reason I'm not addicted is because I know it killed MJ.
Otherwise, I'd be like, let's keep doing this.
Yo, that's a thing.
You know, happiness is just a fucking push button.
Okay.
Oh my God.
Yikes.
Oh, God.
This is taking a turn for the worse.
I'm really going to be a little bit more.
This is rough episode.
This is a rare episode for me emotionally, man.
I was not ready for it.
All right, let's take a break for a second, pay some bills.
Guys, Father's Day is around the corner.
Ladies, Father's Day is around the corner.
This is a gift for not only your father, but your mother as well.
Okay.
Your dad probably has one of these disgusting, huge bushes that your mom's been probably having to move that hair out of the way to suck on your dad's dick.
Okay?
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She's had to move this bush right out of the way for years, for decades, actually.
Okay.
You owe it to your mother and you owe it to your father.
Maybe your dad's single.
Maybe he's out there on Tinder.
Maybe he's out there on Grinder.
We don't know what your dad's doing.
Maybe he's not getting as much head as he should because he doesn't know that in current days you had a groom down there.
You got a groom down there.
You got to make it look good.
You got to make it look big.
You got to make it look thick.
Okay.
Tuck that thing in.
We want that little fro down there, Scotty Pipps.
You want to turn that dick to Scotty Pipps.
Instead of that shit looking like a used up Brillo pad.
Yeah, you should look like Ben Wallace.
Okay.
You need to go from Ben Wallace to Scotty Pipps.
Okay.
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Plastic Surgery and Aging00:15:10
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Let's get back to the show.
Let's talk about Chloe Kardashian's new phase.
Yo, you seen this bitch?
I don't know why we're like surprised at Kardashian surgery.
Does anybody understand why that this is news every single time?
They get surgery.
They get carved up.
That's what they do.
Why is this news?
It's just shocking at first.
It's like Facebook updates.
Remember way back in the day when Facebook would change everything and you'd be like, what the fuck is this?
And then you get used to it and like that.
And then when it changed it the next time, you'd be like, what the fuck is this?
The new operating system.
That's Kardashian faces.
Yeah.
You hate it initially, but then you're like, no, that was the right thing to do.
Yeah.
And it was.
She looks like Denise Richards.
Yeah, a little bit.
A little bit.
I mean, she looks undeniably better.
Like, this is the thing we have to talk about with plastic surgery with women, right?
They have the ability, especially these girls, right?
I mean, like, their job is to be attractive and have a cool lifestyle.
It was living.
It didn't start that way.
Her job is to be the funny fat fat friend.
It was to be the funny fat friend, right?
And then, but reality is a lot of like women that don't have like a skill in entertainment, their job is to have a cool lifestyle and be attractive.
Yeah.
Right.
And the cooler the lifestyle and the more attractive, the more followers they get.
And then the more money they make, right?
Because they'll get different sponsorship opportunities.
They want to be brand ambassadors for these other companies, et cetera.
So it completely behooves them to invest in how they look if that means carving up their fucking face.
It actually makes sense.
Matter of fact, any girl who wants to be in entertainment that doesn't carve up their face is kind of a fucking idiot.
It's like a basketball player that doesn't exercise.
It's like, hey, you could jog more and then have your legs in the, you know, in the fourth quarter and then be able to score more points and then you could potentially win.
Yeah.
Or you could not.
And choosing not to to be natural, it's almost like you're a fucking idiot in their field.
Like if you're going to be a cyclist, you got to use EPO.
If you're going to be cyclist, you got to dope.
You cannot win without doping.
Even now, they try to clean up the sport.
You got to dope.
That's the name of the game.
If you're a weightlifter, you got to use steroids.
Everybody uses it.
Paying college players.
If you want to be a successful college basketball team, nine out of ten coaches pay players and the other's in last place.
That's the same.
That's perfectly right.
So it's like, of course, they're going to do it.
And to be honest, think about how quick it is for a girl.
You get a surgery on your face.
You get new tits.
You get new ass.
You're spending such a small amount of money to increase your value in your world.
Imagine you or I could spend $5,000 to be 10 times funnier.
Yeah.
10x funny.
You think men wouldn't invest in that?
You out of your fucking mind?
Yeah.
Valid.
10x funny?
Yeah.
I do think it looks a little weird.
Like the amount of her face that's missing is crazy.
Like, look how much of her face is just.
She took out all the OJ from her face.
Yeah.
But, but realistically, that was the part that should have gone.
She finally looks like Caitlin's daughter.
Yeah, she definitely looks more like a Kardashian.
You think they went to the big surgeon?
What, OJ and Caitlin and Caitlin and Chloe?
Oh, yeah.
I think they just got one for the fam.
I mean, all the teeth, everything is done.
But she looks undeniably better.
You can't deny it.
Yeah, but it still looks weird.
Like, if you see a bitch, it looks like so fake that it's weird.
So here's the thing.
I'm with you.
My line is much earlier than most dudes I'm starting to realize, but I'm with you on this.
They look weird.
Yeah.
But here's the question we need to ask ourselves.
Is weird better than ugly?
It's not, is weird better than hot because they weren't hot.
Is weird better than ugly?
And a lot of times these girls morph their face so they become weird, but the weird is actually more attractive than they were.
So they'll take the looks because at least they're getting looks.
I think the issue with that, though, is that you're neglecting that there's no negative side effects from plastic surgery.
There are none.
No, I mean, you could have like you age weird or like it costs money.
You have to like keep touching it up over time.
Why they all age weird.
Nerve loss or like, yeah, like paralysis.
Like Al's last two sentences were very funny.
You're neglecting negative side effects.
There are none.
No, I mean, what you're saying, what you're saying might be true, but like, let's be honest.
Like, I don't think a Kardashian is going to get her face paralyzed.
Like, probably not.
And in terms of like aging weird, they're going to do this as they get.
Women just get plastic surgery as they get old now.
This is the new normal.
Like, if you have enough money to afford it, you get it.
I don't think there's one woman that is aging naturally that is under 60 years old now.
Can we name one who's just like, fuck it, I'm in an age national.
So you're talking about actual going under, cutting up face, or are you talking about like Botox?
Botox included.
But isn't that crazy how we like separate that?
Like, how crazy is that that right now we're going, well, it's just Botox.
There was a time where you got Botox and it was like that was a big thing.
Right?
Right.
You're injecting a fucking poison into your face that freezes your skin.
And now it's like, oh, yeah, it's just Botox.
Dude, there are guys that do Botox.
We know one of the guys we went down at fuck.
Arizona.
Oh, my God.
I just texted him the other day.
The Arizona guy or something.
Yeah, the Arizona guy.
Oh my God.
I just had my bad.
I know you're listening.
I forgot your name.
My bad.
But Tyler?
But, and basically, he was doing Botox for dudes.
Dude, got Botox.
I don't easily remember that guy's name.
I think he's happy he don't remember.
Yeah, I know.
Maybe I shouldn't shout out.
No, but his business is flourishing because of it.
But in that case, that's just normal.
Like all of our girlfriends right now are going to expect to get tox.
100%.
You could act like your girl's not.
I would put $100,000 on that.
He's going to get it.
I'm not taking that bet.
To me, the line is like invasiveness, I guess.
Like, if it's you're fucking cutting things.
And Botox makes me a little uncomfortable because it's an injection, but it's different when it's surgery.
Yo, so here's the thing.
The better the surgery gets, the less invasive it gets.
Remember back in the day, the nose job was you chop away at the nose and hack away and all this shit.
Now they got this thing where they just squeeze, excuse me, they put filler, the same, I don't know if it's the same filler that they put in your cheeks and that kind of stuff, but they put filler and they can reshape your nose with filler.
So let's say you have like a round nose.
Yeah.
They actually fill in the top part so it looks like it's just going straight down.
So all this shit is getting way better.
Obviously, initially when plastic surgery started, I assume it started probably after one of the wars.
And this is my assumption.
It probably happened after one.
You have all these people that were like super maimed from things that happened in war and they're like trying to carve you back to life.
That's what I'm assuming.
And then eventually people are like, oh, that kind of works.
Let me do that on this.
It's going to evolve and it's going to get so, it's going to get so good that the procedure is going to be so minor.
You're like, why would I not get that?
You know what's going to end up?
So we talk about like with genetic testing or whatever, genetic modification, you can make like a super baby and we're all just going to have these babies that have the perfect genes.
Yeah.
We're just going to be able to do that retroactively with surgery, it seems like.
Yeah.
Like we can, yeah, you're already born and that technology doesn't exist to do it before.
But well, you get surgery, look however you want to look.
Yeah.
And should you?
Should you maximize your life?
Yeah.
And it's also, in a sense, so it's going to be like, well, then what?
We're all just going to end up looking great and looking the same.
And then what's.
And then it like levels shit out.
We'll find somebody, you know, some other way to create a hierarchy.
But it is interesting that you got all these naturally pretty bitches like fucking Alicia Keys going, well, let's be natural.
It's like, bitch, you look good natural.
Yeah.
Not everybody looks good natural.
Not everybody looks good without makeup.
You know what I mean?
It's like, it's like LeBron literally going, you know, guys, we should just, you know, stop lifting weights.
Or Zion going, oh, why are we doing this shit?
Why are we putting so much effort into our bodies?
It's like, yeah, you won the fucking lottery.
It's no different than like white people saying, yeah, just obey the law.
It's like white people, you get to yell at the cops as a white guy.
Nobody's going to kill you when you yell at the cops.
Not everybody else gets to do that.
That one I can't argue with.
Weightlifting and shit, though, to Mark's point, there's positive side effects only to weightlifting.
Now, when guys start using steroids and there's negative side effects with it, then we start looking at it like, bro, I don't know if you should do that.
No, you can still get hurt if you weightlift the wrong way.
But generally speaking, it's much better for you to weightlift than not weightlift.
Like if two people are living their lives, you would say, hey, man, lift weights.
True.
You're not going to say two people living their lives.
It's much healthier for you to get plastic surgery.
Like just for your body and your soul and your mind and all that shit.
All I'm saying is when hot chicks preach this natural shit, they're doing it because it benefits them.
They're like, yeah, I'm the hottest of the hot.
So let's maintain this hierarchy so I don't have to do anymore.
But if you're an ugly chick, you're like, nah, fuck it.
I'm coming for you, bitch.
Why should I live my life like this?
I wonder how she feels when she looks in the mirror now.
Like she has a completely different face.
Like you can, it looks like two separate people.
That's where plastic surgery is also scary.
It's like something you grew up with your entire life.
Now you look in the mirror and you see a different person looking back at you.
That must have been a lot of people.
And I think that's where it goes.
Here's where it is, though.
Here's what it is.
I think that women are so accustomed to how they look on Instagram and on Snapchat with the filters that their mind has started to morph to believe that's what they look like.
I truly believe that the perception of self, I'm being 100% serious.
No, it's possible.
But in my mind, logically, it's like you look in a mirror way more than you look at yourself on your phone.
You would think.
No.
Their mirror is the phone.
Their mirror is the phone.
They only look at the phone.
Their mirror is the phone.
In their fucking...
But you got to go through the process on your initial Instagram of adding the filters, right?
They're not.
So the first thing you look at is you, and then you say, okay, I make myself look like this.
I make myself look like this.
As long as you spend more time.
The filters are on already.
Like Snapchat.
Snapchat starts.
The filters on it while you're looking at the phone.
And also, think about it this way.
Why would I be looking cute as fucking myself?
Think about it.
And honestly, that's why I think people use TikTok because I think TikTok morphs your face.
I had some video that showed it, but I think TikTok actually morphs your face to make you look better looking.
So of course you're going to spend more time on this app that makes you look better than you do.
That's a hot take.
If people don't know about that shit, that's a hot take.
That's a video of a girl showing it.
Like she caught the app.
She kind of exposed the app in a weird way, but nobody's going to care.
But that's genius.
Of course it's brilliant.
Make everybody better looking.
So now you're looking at better looking people.
What, you have some facts?
No, it's like this is a similar thing that happened with like dressing rooms, like where all of a sudden they start way nicer mirrors.
Like they put slimming mirrors, the best lighting.
So you ever go to the grocery store to fruit look mad good?
Yeah.
They got the light and the water on the fruit.
Oh, the water, boy.
The water's on the fruit.
They take it to your house and it looks natural.
Dry as fuck, asbestos all over the place.
Asbestos?
I don't know.
Maybe I should.
Point is, is why wouldn't you want to look at the better looking thing?
And now it's an option.
You're going to look.
Here's where I think plastic surgery ends up a lot of times, though.
Because a lot of, well, you can say she looks better, but a lot of people, they get a little bit of plastic surgery and you're like, oh, yeah, they look better.
And then they keep getting it and getting it.
And then you're like, well, what the fuck am I looking at at a certain point?
Because if you can just constantly change things you don't like about yourself, you're going to say, oh, I'll change this thing.
And then I got to change that.
I don't like this.
I'm still not happy.
Let me change this.
It's like tattooing in a shit.
It's tattoos.
Like, tattoos are cool initially.
And then the people that keep on getting the tattoos, you're like, yo, like most people, there's a tipping point where it's like, ah, this is, what the fuck am I looking at?
I would say the Kardashians, that's one thing they do a good job of like stopping at their limit and shit.
Cause Kylie got hot and just stayed it.
I don't see her keep tweaking unless she's tweaking to just maintain the hot.
She does a great job of it.
Kim, I know, has gotten mad surgeries, but she still looks good.
Like she's over surgery done.
I understand what Al's saying.
And I can agree with Al.
It's like, I think they look as if they've had work done, but they don't look as exaggerated as some of these Hollywood types that like have turned into looking like that.
And I also think Kylie's young.
It also starts as you age and you get more and more work done.
Kylie's not going to be content when she age.
She's not going to age like that.
As she ages, she's going to get more and more work done.
Wouldn't she be 20 right now?
Right.
Of course, I'm just saying, why would you not, bro?
Like, it makes it.
But there's a tipping point where it's like, what the fuck is this?
What am I looking at?
Yeah.
All you have to make sure is at that point, you're better looking than you would be if you age naturally.
And I think there's a point where it's not.
Sometimes you stuck with it.
Sometimes.
Technically.
I think back in the day it used to be that way, but I think now it's way different.
I think you're looking at way different surgery now.
So it's like a Jennifer Anison who's probably had work for the last 20 years.
Yeah.
She's still looking good, bro.
For 50 years old or something like that.
J-Lo out here, 50 looking amazing.
Jennifer Anderson, I'm like, just get old.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
You don't think J-Lo's had work done?
J-Lo, what I'm saying, J-Lo's work?
That's the new work.
That's the new work.
When you don't look like you had work, that is the new work.
And when you're going to the best doctors that are only doing the minimal stuff to maintain what you have, it's going to continue to look natural.
And it's only going to get better from here.
By the time we're that age, you realize how fucking amazing this shit is going to be.
And I guarantee you, guys are going to do it.
Within the next five years, guys are doing Botox.
Every guy will do Botox within the next five years as they get older.
They're already doing now, but it's like under the under radical Botox.
It's not even a question.
It's not even a question.
So not even a question.
I want you to fight me on that.
No, no, no, no, it's not even a question.
Every guy will get it within five years.
But eventually.
I'm just debating, not getting it when we were in Arizona.
But you said you like the character, the cow.
I like age on my face because I think it shows character.
Like, I like laugh lines because I've laughed and I want to enjoy laughing.
100%.
That being said, if it looked like I've been giggling too much, you know what I mean?
Like, I can't be coming home.
My girl's like, I've been putting in effort today.
She's like, I can see on your face.
Selling Out and Photo Tricks00:06:41
I don't know, bro.
I think there is.
I think it's just personal preference.
Because like me, I'm still, I'm more like leaning how Akash is.
Like, I don't really like it.
Like, it's appealing to look at on Instagram, but when I see him in person, it's like, I don't really like the girl.
They're doing the fake stuff.
That's the other tricky thing with it.
It doesn't hold up in person.
My only image of Chloe Kardashian is what her family and like press and PR team puts out to me.
You know what I mean?
Like the only images I've seen of her face is like mad Photoshop.
Like who has no wrinkles on their forehead?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like it's all super Photoshop like produced.
So it's tough to know what's actually real.
Yeah.
100%.
Yeah, it makes me like uncomfortable to look at.
Like, yo, that's a lot.
Like, look how much of her face they just took off.
The surgery might be good, but it also might just be like photo tricks and shit.
It's tough to do.
It's definitely photo tricks and all that kind of shit.
It's just a different, we got to look at it different, man.
It's like, this is their business.
Their business is looking beautiful.
Yeah.
And they're going to do whatever they can to have a competitive advantage in that.
And most women, and this could be unfortunate, but most women, a significant percentage of their value as a young single woman is tied into their looks, right?
It will give them advantages, not only in terms of meeting a guy, fuck a guy, in terms of getting a job, dog.
If you're looking like a female salesperson and you're hot, guys will buy anything from you.
Son, all these medical sales chicks, all smoke shows coming in little scores.
Even like the beer and liquor distributors back when I used to manage restaurants, it would always be some hot chick and a fucking short skirt.
Medical sales is actually the fucking move if you're a woman who's hot because you're going to make a lot of sales because you're hot and you could potentially get you a doctor because you're hot.
You're meeting them.
So, you know what I mean?
You're hot.
You're in their face.
You're selling them shit.
It is a huge competitive advantage being attractive.
You want to get a job at a restaurant.
It's like being a respectable groupie.
An ugly chick, right?
It's hard, dog.
You're not going to be the matrix.
Do you think you're going to meet a matrix?
Yeah.
No, right?
You're not going to be the major D. You're not going to be, you might not even be a fucking waitress, dude.
It's, I do not blame girls that do it.
That's all I'm saying.
I empathize with them.
Like, it's easy to just go, oh, these girls are so fake.
It's like, yeah, well, we've created a society where they fucking have to be in order to function in front of it.
It's kind of shitty.
Yeah, I think they push that society forward also is a thing.
Yeah, but they're only going to do what we reward.
It's just like us.
It's like, we're out here in fucking skinny jeans with rips in them and all that kind of shit because that's what these girls are rewarded, right?
We wouldn't dress like that unless they reward it.
We saw a girl that we thought was hot fuck a guy that wore some stupid shit.
And then we were like, all right, I guess I got to wear that to fuck those girls.
I'm building this argument as I make it, so maybe it sucks.
Isn't there a line with us, though?
Like when Comedy Central, rest in peace, was giving specials to everybody who was like super oppressed or trans or like this thing or that thing.
We were just like, I'm not doing that.
There was a line for us where society is rewarding this type of behavior.
I'm not talking about society.
I'm talking about getting pussy.
Those are different things.
Well, with the Kardashians, it's not about getting dick.
It's about advancing in society.
I'm talking about what we wear as men, though.
Yeah, but if we're comparing it to the Kardashians, what I'm saying is, you're saying the Kardashians do this because society rewards it, not because they get better dick.
I'm saying, well, I think they do get better dick.
They do able to hook up with these celebrities and that kind of stuff and these athletes, et cetera.
That pushes forward their brand, which is built on, oh, they're hot girls.
Right.
Etc.
So, like, if the idea is society rewards this behavior, that's why they do it.
Right.
For men, there's usually a line, I think, with most men, where society rewards stuff to a certain degree, but it's like, yeah, we're not doing all that.
We got our line.
Yeah, I think everybody has a line, but I think your line moves with society.
So as society rewards certain things, you're willing to do stuff that you probably made fun of.
It's like we're all dressing in the exact same way.
And to your point, their husband is the guy that's doing everything.
He's them.
Right.
Pushing things forward.
But think about it.
Like, we're all dressing in a way that we probably used to make fun of somebody.
100%.
They're dressed like that.
So, like, look at our morals.
So they're fucking malleable as hell.
Yeah.
Like, we used to clown.
I wear a goddamn purse.
Oh, yeah, that thing.
The over-the-shoulder bag shit that my girl got me.
It's a fucking purse.
I would clown someone a month ago for that shit.
Yeah.
You know, so it's like, clearly, shit is malleable.
Clearly, it's not etched in stone.
And whatever becomes the acceptable form of dress, whatever becomes the acceptable form of attire, we're eventually going to gravitate towards it.
And depending on how, you know, strict we are with our morals, we'll like dip our toe in the water or just fucking dive in.
Yeah.
Dip a toe.
What are you smiling about?
Nothing.
What?
Nothing.
Nothing.
I don't want to talk about it on the pod.
Why?
Dip a toe in.
Oh, okay.
Dip a toe in.
That's what I say.
Dip a toe in so you know you can get out.
That's like a good segue, but I mean.
Oh, what?
He is his nail polish.
You wore Mark's got to be.
I thought you slammed your fucking pinky in a door or something like that.
I didn't know he painted.
I was just saying, like, that's how far we're willing to go, like, malleable, because we would make fun of somebody who had their nails painted.
My boy had nails painted.
I'm making fun of Mark.
Yeah.
I mean, now it's becoming a thing.
So now people do it.
And it's like, bro, when I was in college, I painted my fucking nails.
100%.
The only reason I did it is because I would be at a bar and some girl be like, why'd you paint your nails?
Gotcha, bitch.
You know what I'm saying?
That's simple.
So, of course, I'm doing it because I'm thinking it's going to get me some pussy.
I'm telling you, man, we will do whatever is rewarded by the opposite sex.
And you cannot deny that more people are going to like her pictures because of the searches she got.
Yeah, I get it.
I just, again, I say dip a toe in the water so you know you can hop out.
I say that as a joke more so, I think, because when I see this kind of shit, I'm like, man, shut the fuck up.
You missed the, I'm ready to sell out.
Yeah, I say that.
So in case I do sell out, you can't be like, what a liar.
You know what I mean?
My thing about it.
You are willing to sell it.
That means you are willing to sell out.
I'm not going to do it.
My price is, I feel like their price, you're good.
You've got whatever you need.
Like, and I guess it's all relative, but at a certain point, when I'm looking at half your face gone and bitch look like a doll, like, like, blow up dull.
I'm, wow, I don't want to go that far.
Again, we can move on.
I get it.
We're not describing whether she's gone too far or not far.
Fueling Racist Animosity00:12:21
That is not to do it.
We're describing why she's in this situation.
I get, no, I get and why we're all in this situation to a certain extent.
Yeah.
You know, it is interesting.
It's like we should really never clown anything anybody wears ever because we are a few years away from wearing it ourselves.
Yep.
Yeah.
And if you don't conform, you look even more goofy.
Yeah.
We're clowning Michael Jordan, the greatest athlete in the history for wearing baggy pants.
Yep.
Tim Duncan.
Tim Duncan, one of the greatest basketball players in history for wearing baggy pants.
Who's more comfortable?
You got your fucking kneecaps exploding out of your jeans right now.
Looking cute.
They are more comfortable than us.
When we go home, do we put on our tightest pair of jeans or what do we put on?
Sweats.
Baggy fucking pants.
And here we are criticizing motherfuckers who dress every day like we do when we want to be comfy.
Who's the fucking idiots?
Yo, I respect the guys who are just like, I wear what's comfortable.
I know millionaires who wear sweatpants all the time, just out and about, never gonna fuck about being fashionable.
Those are the winners.
They win.
We're not all them.
Fuck.
All right, let's move on.
Do we want to talk about this Doja Cat situation?
I don't even understand what a Doja Cat is.
I don't understand it.
I don't, yeah, I don't even, I don't know what's going on.
I thought it was Amanda Seals.
I had no time.
I had no clue what's happening.
What is Renaissance?
Yeah, can you just bring it up?
All right, so Doja Cat, she's some singer.
She's trending because rapper, ain't she?
Singer, rapper.
You know how they mix it up nowadays.
So she was trending because she was on some video chat site talking to racists and laughing at their racist jokes.
She talked about not wanting to be black, but at least she's thick.
And she had a song with didn't do nothing and didn't do as much.
Paul didn't do nothing.
Paul didn't do nothing.
So apparently she talked about how she used to go into these in-cell chat rooms and she's still active in one of them, like white racist dudes who nobody wants to fuck.
And they'll say all these hateful things.
And she's like, I don't know why I'm so active in it, but I am.
And like, I will find myself participating in the hate a little bit.
And then she had a song called Didn't Do Nothing, D-I-N-D-U, Nothing, N-U-F-F-I-N.
And that's apparently a term these white people, like these racist dudes will use whenever a black person gets killed by the cops.
And I guess they're saying like, oh, that's how these black people talk.
He didn't do nothing.
And it's like, that's what they used to make fun of it.
So she had that song title.
So people were jumping all over her.
And then people started defending her.
And then she came on IG and had an apology.
And it's got very confusing.
It's people trying to cancel her.
People are saying we're sorry.
Like, and it's just an odd thing.
And I don't fully get.
I know what happened, but I don't get it.
I'm 36.
So she's half Jewish, half black, or South African.
But yeah, so it's just like, as a black person, I hate saying this because it's like, yo, you're ashamed to be black and you should be proud to be whoever you are.
And so it's, I don't know if this is like a mentally ill situation or really she's just the same of her blackness, but regardless, it's like, fuck her.
Do we know how now she's just like early 20s, I believe?
I got sympathy for people trying to, especially like biracial mix, whatever, trying to figure out your identity.
I can understand how that's tough.
And if you're, I don't know, man, I got, I don't like black people listening to her.
She's 24.
She just started to get hot.
So like she first popped on the scene with like this stupid, silly song, I'm a cow, that girl.
Yeah.
And so now she has a song with Nikki Minaj.
That was like number one on Billboard like two weeks ago or some shit like that.
Okay.
She also had a tweet with the F-word in it.
So she almost got canceled like a couple years ago.
Old tweet got pulled up.
She was saying the F-word Mad Times in the tweet.
Is it possible that...
And look, I'm just thinking best case scenario for all people and playing devil's advocate.
Is it possible that she's curious about identity and she's exploring identity by going into these chat rooms and like talking to these people?
And like, do you think she's trying to understand what this hate is?
She's like laughing through racist jokes.
Right.
So she's going along with them.
Like, I think she's saying like the hard R nigga in there or allowing them to call her that in the chats and shit like that.
It's like, it's just.
seems off.
And then it's off for sure.
It's off.
And she had like one thing where she actually...
Oh, this is like her in the chat rooms.
Oh, I just watched a shower in.
Dude, ADD just DM'd me.
They don't say anything.
And I said, yeah, I learned if you sunk a dunker, you can be anybody.
I don't know what that means.
Yeah, I don't know.
Probably some racist shit, but right.
But these are the chat rooms that she was in.
But I've also heard people speculate that she was getting money from doing this.
That like there was ways that she was getting paid from some of these guys and they would hit her up and she would like, they would buy her stuff.
I'm sure.
Even if that's how you want to make money.
Right.
So, but now it's not like she's like a self-loathing black person and it's like she kind of pretends it or like does this thing just to get paid.
It's another possibility.
Not that it makes it better, but like to me, it kind of like clears up her agenda a little.
I mean, if that was what she was doing, she's taking money from white racists.
Like, isn't that good?
Yeah, but she's enabling her.
Well, by enabling their racist behavior.
Right, but they were going to be racist before that, right?
Yeah, but I mean, also, if they're giving her money, how racist are they?
This whole thing is having her.
If nobody fucks you to the point that you call yourself involuntarily celibate and a decent looking bitch, you're not cute to me, but if you're that guy, she's the fuck.
She's a goddess.
So maybe she's on there to disprove how racist they are.
But also racist people will fetishize black people.
Right.
Chappelle had that great joke where he's like, he's like, what is it?
Like slave owners fuck their slaves.
Right.
I mean, if you look at porn hub surges, like the top porn up surges, like Mississippi and Alabama or like Ebony, stuff like that.
Right, I don't know, man.
I don't really understand it.
But like, to me, she's just canceled.
I didn't care about her regardless before this, but now it's like, ah, whatever.
I don't need to ever hear your shit.
My assumption is that her fan base was never really black.
My feeling is...
I mean, when you're a pop star, you have a mix.
Right, but she's not like boosey.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, my assumption that she was kind of, she had like a Tyler the Creator kind of audience where it was like a lot of like suburban white kids and maybe some suburban black kids, but it was mostly like a suburban, like, it was almost like anti-rap, anti-R ⁇ B, her stuff.
And she was kind of like a weirdo.
I think whenever you perform high on any of these charts, the majority of your fans are white people.
Are going to be white.
It's going to be the biggest percentage.
I don't think they care about this.
And at the end of the day, they're like, yo, just keep being quirky.
She put away a huge apology twice.
Yeah.
So like one, she puts out this long written apology and then she got on a couple days later.
IG Live, talking about like, oh, I didn't show my breast because she promised to show her breast if she got a number one single.
Yeah.
So she basically was trying to take the attention off of this whole racist shit by like talking about her tits.
And it seemed to work a little bit because people aren't talking about the racist shit anymore.
Yeah, it's a big racism week, huh?
Yeah.
A lot of shit going on this week in racism.
Yeah.
What do you think that's about?
Do you think it like gets started with the Biden thing?
And then like, I wonder how the media cycle works if that's what it is.
It's like the Biden thing starts it and it's like, ooh, racism is popping.
And then all of a sudden, do we seek out all these other racist things?
Like we look at Jimmy Fallon and Blackface and Jimmy Kimmel and Blackface.
Like we take that thing from 20, 40 years ago, whatever the fuck it is.
We throw it back in.
Does it become the new trending topic, if you will?
Yeah, I don't know if it's orchestrated that much.
I kind of think it's just like, that's always going to be a hot-button topic.
No, not orchestrated, not like someone going, not like someone going, hey, let's put all these stories out the same week.
I think one thing pops.
Say again.
Like shark week.
Like shark week.
It's not dark week, but it, but it's like, I wonder if one thing pops and then all the different not only people organically are searching for other racist shit that's fucked up, but networks are also searching for other racist shit because they're like, ooh, everybody's riled up about the race stuff.
Let's double down.
Let's put it out.
You get ratings off of this.
Yeah.
Or maybe the minorities are just acting up.
I consider that.
But why?
Just be annoying and stuff, you know?
But like, what's going on?
There's got to be a reason why this week.
Why is it this?
It's a big week in outrage.
It's a big week in fake outrage.
But why?
You might have said it.
Like, motherfuckers are bored.
Motherfuckers are bored.
But I also think a story like this, this is like, it's so much drama.
It's like this person that we thought was one way and we see we there's a little investigating to be done with this.
There's like a timeline.
I sent the article I sent, I finally found one that had like the timeline of how it happened and what she said.
And it's like, you feel like you're putting something together or like unearthing little pieces at a time.
Jimmy Fallon didn't have the legs that this had because it was, oh, here's an old thing from 20 years ago.
Right.
Done.
Doja Cat.
There's always like little new pieces of information from the past being unearthed.
And it just keeps how big the Caller Daddy Barstool thing got.
Like to me, I don't really understand it.
I didn't either.
My brother was like, dude, I didn't hear about it at your podcast.
And then I started just reading about it non-stop.
Yeah.
It's just weird when there's like different, if it's a complex story, that's going to have more legs than simple Jimmy Fallon was hilarious once in his life.
Yeah.
Maybe the reason could be like if contact is like the antidote to racism, like being in contact with people of other races and like that sort of like diffuses any sort of like racial animosity.
Yeah.
The fact that people are locked in with only people that look like them and like not getting as much like interracial contact.
But you would think that would make people more racist, not seek out more racism.
Yeah, exactly.
I think it's like, it's like fueling like some racist animosity and people are starting to like point fingers and like trying to call people out and stuff.
Maybe.
It's fueling a fire.
Yeah, maybe it's possible.
I don't, I don't know.
It just seems odd.
But it has been like a lot of finger pointing and not all racist shit because even the Aisha Curry thing.
What is that?
The Aisha Curry?
Like she tweeted one time about like, oh, I like to keep myself covered and save, you know, my goodies from my loved one.
And then she gets online and posts the picture in a bikini showing her.
She's willing to lose the baby weight.
They always say that shit.
They'll be like, I want to be whatever when they're losing that weight.
And the second I get it off, it's let me show off this body.
I mean, she looks great.
Her body looks phenomenal, but it is weird.
I don't know why she feels like she needs to show that.
She's got a thing.
She's got a void.
She's got something empty.
She needs attention.
She needs attention.
If Steph had her ego, the Warriors would have fallen apart a long time ago.
That is it.
He got the ego of a great basketball wife.
She got the ego of fucking MJ.
What is Savannah James?
Does she have an Instagram?
What is she posting?
Son.
Oh, I don't.
That's the goat of basketball wives.
She is, but like, what is her?
We should look that up.
Like, what are her posts?
Is it all brawn?
Can you look up Savannah James's Instagram mark?
Yeah, that's, I don't know, man.
It's just like a weird, it's just weird.
You almost feel for Steph, right?
Oh, I 100% feel for Steph.
Yeah.
She only posts pictures of her kids.
So Savannah is only posting pictures of her kids and the family.
She's in a fucking hoodie.
You got to scroll four times just to find a picture of her.
Yeah.
It's one picture out of like 30 so far that's only her.
There's another on what seems to be.
And Aisha's posting like, you know, bikini pics and then banana bread.
And yeah, it's a lot about like.
But get it, bitch.
You cooked.
Yeah.
Drew, you're a mom.
What you want?
Credit for doing your job?
Do I take pictures of my paycheck every month?
Put it on Instagram.
Fucking stupid ass bitch.
I hate this bitch.
Steph's the quietest, most deferential, fucking great player of all time, maybe.
And you can't keep your fucking mouth shut when he loses a game.
Why do you think that he's attracted to that?
Balance.
Opposite the track.
So you think he's attracted to the fact that she has this ego?
I mean, maybe the confidence to express herself when he's more like.
But Steph is so confident.
NFL Players vs Strong Brands00:15:16
He has so confident this doesn't phase him.
It's like, yeah, whatever.
Let her do her.
I think he's confident off the court.
Like, I don't see that confidence.
Well, we don't see much of him outside of basketball to begin with, but he doesn't seem the type to put himself really out there.
I think that's a choice, but it's not based on lack of confidence.
I think it's just a choice based on like how he feels about the world.
And like, I think it also has a lot to do with his religious beliefs.
Yeah, he's a really religious guy.
Yeah, man.
That's a ground of life.
He's got to be humble.
Like, that's really important to him, like, having humility.
Why he would find her attractive.
I just don't understand.
They're like high school sweethearts or some shit.
College, I think, right?
I don't know.
I thought it was high school, but I don't know.
You can't choose who we love.
I don't get it, man.
But again, who cares?
Like, do your fucking thing.
Love who you love.
I also think she could fucking shut up sometimes.
I mean, love evolves.
Evolve into being quiet.
Yeah.
Talk after he retired.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
We got to pay some bills because, you know, we got to support the number one CBD brand for the asshole army.
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Let's get back to the show.
Oh, you brought this up, that the NFL owners want fans at the stadium.
Oh, yeah, I know Gagnon brought that up.
Yeah, you had that story about the NFL owners.
Yeah.
So they really feel that the season's going to happen.
And they think that state people are going to be in the stands.
When does the season start?
September, the week after Labor Day.
Yeah.
There'll be people in the stands.
Without doubt.
Within two months, this shit is open.
Do you think full?
Say again?
You think full?
Full.
Like, this is two months this shit is open from now.
Are we supposed to be open now?
When are we supposed to open?
I don't think any states are fully open.
Because I thought Florida was fully open, but it's a soft open.
Okay.
Yeah.
Two months.
I say two months from now, everything's open.
Now, they're going to have these stupid fucking laws that limit the amount of people that can go into like a Broadway show or limit the amount of people that can go to a stand-up show or concerts or festivals.
Restaurants, they might even be affected as well.
No, no, I'm saying currently right now.
Like as they're opening them, by the time football comes around, we're going to be golden.
100%.
Now, the tricky thing is it's state by state.
So are the LA Rams going to have an empty stadium, but the St. Louis Rams?
Fucking A's.
I'm trying to think of a place that's in Missouri because Missouri's open.
But is there another team in Missouri?
I don't think so.
What's another state that's wide open?
I don't know.
I thought Florida was wide open.
Georgia.
Georgia?
Georgia.
Okay, so the Falcons are going to have a full stadium, but the LA Rams are not.
So that could be a case.
I don't know.
It's hard to tell because that's right before flu season.
And so they're saying that it's going to be a second wave.
People might be spooked because second wave.
I don't think the second wave is going to be that crazy, but I think people will be a little spooked.
But you know what was great about this story?
The NFL owners, everybody talks about them.
They're racist.
They don't care about their black players.
They don't care about anybody.
They don't give a fuck about the fans.
They don't give a fuck about the players.
They just want to make money.
So you can judge them if you want to, but they're greedy.
And we're all greedy.
And to be honest, they're willing to give us entertainment.
So be greedy.
I'm completely okay with this.
I love the fact that they kept that same energy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I've always hated NFL owners and they fuck over the players, but now I'm like, oh, okay, they're just greedy.
Yeah.
They don't give a fuck about anybody.
Yeah.
Good for them.
Blue that.
Do they fuck over the players?
I mean, the players also allow themselves to get fucked, but like the new collective bargaining agreement they agreed to is worse than the old one that they're already getting fucked on.
And that's on the players for not going to a fucking lawyer right away and being like, hey, is this any good?
And voting.
And then the NFL Players Union is even more fucked because they wouldn't let people change their votes after they found out how shitty the deal was and a bunch of them had already voted.
Then the NFL Players Union, which there's some corrupt shit there was like, no, you can't change your votes.
But here, I guess my feeling about the players is like, if you are replaceable, that's what you get.
So it's like NFL players are the most replaceable athlete in sports.
To a degree, but not exactly.
We do not, if they were still replaceable, we would have liked the XFL.
We'd have liked the American Football League.
We would have liked the first XFL, the USFL.
We want great football.
We do not accept outside of college where we're all like.
How do you explain college?
Yeah, like you said, we're all indoctrinated into this belief that we love this school, so we watch this, and then we root for a team.
And there's still better quality in the XFL than there is in.
But maybe that's the reason why the XFL and the AFL didn't work.
Because you don't have the elites.
No, because you're not indoctrinated into the team.
Yeah, but if you're not indoctrinated on some college shit, on some passion, these are the best years of my life.
I mean, do you think that you become a Giants fan when you're six years old because of the skill?
And even then, even then, the best programs, the reason casuals watch is OSU, Alabama, whoever the fuck else I'm thinking of, Florida schools, like all these, these are the guys that are the elites that are all going to go pro and be great.
Right.
But you're going to watch those teams regardless.
We didn't, I don't ever remember watching casually an Alabama football game until Knicks Sabin got there.
And then they started getting people who were going to go pro.
I watched granted, we're going to watch the better teams.
I just think, I think you're maybe not crediting enough the indoctrination of professional sports as well.
Like you, you were, you were made a Cowboys fan.
I was made a Cowboys fan.
Just like you're made Hindu.
And I'll tell you this: when the Cowboys were really bad, I wasn't watching their games like that.
And that's natural.
I think we all do that, right?
Like as a Knicks fan, you know what I mean?
Knicks season ticket holder.
I can even go through that.
But I was made a Knicks fan.
It wasn't my choice.
Right.
Right.
And I feel like with the XFL, with these other fledgling leagues, you need to have some time to create those types of fans.
You can't just do one season, then everybody comes watch.
Because the reality is we don't watch sports for the sport.
We watch sports for identity, right?
We'll tap into the reason why we watch female soccer is because we identify with America.
The second they start playing each other within America, nobody watches, right?
We'll let the women represent America in the World Cup and then we'll watch it way more than the men because we like watching the greatness.
But I think that you can watch shittier football.
I don't think you'd be, I don't think football would be king if the talent wasn't good.
I think that it's similar to like fighting, where it's like sometimes the better fight is with the worst fighters.
You know, like you have these guys that can have like a trilogy of fights like Arturo Gotti and Mickey Ward, right?
And they can make millions of dollars in the fights because they're just fucking savage.
It's carnage.
MMA, some of the best fights are just some of the guys who aren't the best fighters.
And the best fighters make a boring fight sometimes.
Yeah, I very rarely hear about two shitty teams having a game that I needed to see.
I very rarely hear people be like, oh man, you should have watched the fucking whoever the best game.
I think that's what makes college football so exciting is because there's no defense.
There's just really poor defense.
There's just not enough talent for defensive event.
Before college was all running in defense.
Right.
But I'm saying recently, like the fact that you could watch these guys go crazy, you know, 60 to 50 the games could be, right?
I think, I think you see some, I think you say some play like that.
I just would like to see, in my opinion, the most replaceable athletes are NFL players.
One, you have to replace them a lot because the average lifespan is what?
Five years or whatever.
Like less, right?
So like three years or something like that, right?
So it's like they have to be replaced.
If they weren't replaceable, they'd be fucked.
And two, it's more an athletic-based sport and less like a specific all-around skill-based thing.
You know what I mean?
It's like I would say they're probably the most replaceable of the sports because there's just more parts.
There's 22 players on the field at a time.
Basketball, there's 10.
Hockey, there's 10.
Right.
Baseball, who cares?
And a lot of them are interchangeable, right?
Where it's like, you have a guy who played this in college and all of a sudden he comes to the league and he's like, he's a quarterback in college.
Now he's a wide receiver.
Oh, he was a linebacker in college, but now he's a line.
There's all these positions.
Oh, he's a corner, but now he's a safety.
Like, oh, he's kind of interchangeable.
It's very rare you're a point guard in college and then you become a center or even a shooting guard.
It's chess and most of your pawns.
Most of your pawns.
Yeah.
In football, you're center.
Yeah.
So I don't know, man.
I just, I just feel like these guys are going to get the shitty end of deals because the brand, the shield is so strong and the player's value isn't that strong.
Yeah, there's a few Brady's, but like, I mean, you even sit down a Brady.
Like, that's how powerful the NFL is.
You sit down the most marketable player.
You suspend him for four games for some shit every quarterback does.
That was deflate gate.
Even to that end, though, if you have a union, the whole point of the union is we stick together and do what's best for us as a league for the players.
For you to just accept the first deal.
Bad, stupid.
You're right about that.
Yeah.
100% agree with you on that.
It was stupid.
I guess I'm just saying, like, I don't know how much leverage they even fucking have.
An individual player.
Yeah, I can see your point.
You don't have much leverage.
Like, as a whole, the players, then you could maybe do something.
And if you sit, the owners are, I mean, they'll be fine.
They'll probably be better off than you because you're too stupid to manage your money.
Right.
But the owners are going to be like, yo, we are losing crazy money.
Let's go.
Crazy money.
We're by far number one.
The only thing people can do on us is gain ground right now.
Let's do something.
Let's give them something.
It's just tricky, man.
It's like when you have a sport that like really values a singular athlete like Michael Jordan or like Lance Armstrong for biking, right?
I was watching a little bit of this Lance documentary.
It was interesting.
They protected him.
Like they knew he was cheating.
He even talks about it in the documentary, right?
Right after the big cheating scandal where they like canceled this team called Festina, right?
Lance comes back after the ball surgery, right?
And he's in the Tour de France and he's actually busting everybody's ass.
And they find cortisone levels, like high cortisone levels, right?
And just so happened, the cortisone that they were using to cheat could be administered through cream, intramuscular, like spray, eye drops, like five different techniques.
They were cheating with this thing.
But because it could be used five different ways, the head of the commission, the biking commission, said, oh, he just rubbed it on his legs for chafing.
They protected him because they knew what it meant.
They were in such a vulnerable position and they had this amazing comeback story.
So they protected Lance from an American rider who they don't, we don't give a fuck.
We don't, we never give a fuck before or after Lance about the Tour de France or Viking.
But it was the biggest thing in the world.
You have this guy who's this amazing comeback story.
The sport itself was on a comeback because last year they just waxed this entire team, which was the best team for all this doping.
So now you want this one testicle guy who just had cancer to come back and bust everybody's ass in the Tour de France.
And you could risk the whole sport going through that shit again.
Or you could say, no, it was just some leg cream.
And I don't think when I saw them suspend Brady, I was like, oh, shit, the NFL don't give a fuck.
Brady?
Yeah.
Like, of all people?
Yeah.
It's kind of crazy.
And I wonder if they do that shit with tennis.
Like, I wonder if they found out that Federer was cheating or something like that.
I wonder if that's because that's all the women have.
Yo.
That's all the women have.
And she's American.
And she's black.
Yo, imagine they found out that she was using performance hands drugs or like doping or something.
I think they might protect her, yo.
Gotta.
What are we gonna do without her?
Who the fuck is another female tennis player?
That's the only time I put tennis on.
When you saw her plan, right?
She was by far the most markable for female tennis.
Yeah.
And I think that, like David Stern, let's say Jordan did have some gambling issues.
Steven Stern can't kick Jordan out the fucking league.
Nope.
He got to pull him aside and go, yo, please do us like do us a favor.
Stop this shit, please, because you're making it look bad.
But if you kick Jordan out the league, all those fucking numbers tank.
And that reflects on you, the commissioner.
Yep.
That's a tough job, yo.
Yep.
I mean, yo, ball, Goodell got balls.
Yeah.
He don't give a fuck about anything.
He really don't care.
Everybody hates him.
Fans hate him.
Players hate him.
Owners like him.
That's all that matters to him.
He's good with himself.
Did you guys see?
We got to pull this up.
This just dropped.
Yeah, this is interesting.
And it's like, well, there's a Jordan thing that we're going to talk about.
We should start to wrap this up, but there's a Jordan thing we'll talk about.
I want to preface it with something else.
It's so interesting the waves of information that are coming out based around this Jordan dock.
That's insane.
Isn't it cool?
And it's going to be cool to see because the Jordan dock, his legacy was at the highest it's been in 20 since 1997, 1998.
Like after they dropped it, yeah.
By the end of the last dance, Jordan is back, dude.
He's 100% maybe more godlike than ever.
But then you're starting to hear story by story.
And I don't think I'm curious to know how much it'll chip away because each story chips a little bit away from what he presented himself as.
Do you think that this ends up hurting his legacy?
I don't know.
And that's my question.
Is in the long run, will it chip away from it so much that you're like, he should have done this documentary differently?
That's the thing.
It's like when he initially put it out, I'm like, cemented, that's it, statue.
He's the GOAT.
Nobody could touch him.
Michael Jordan Legacy Chipped Away00:12:58
But he's put, when you say you're the GOAT, you're basically inviting the discussion from everyone else how you aren't.
And we will hear the loudest voices will be your detractors.
So when what's the motherfucker's name?
Tim Duncan goes, honestly, I was never really impressed.
I sent you this.
I meant to send you.
I think I said to Al Baxon, but it was like Tim Duncan comes out and goes, honestly, I was never really impressed by Michael Jordan, but I'm not really impressed by anybody.
Like, you never even hear that discussion if Last Dance isn't out.
Because nobody's going to Tim Duncan and saying, so what was your thoughts about Michael?
Yeah.
So he's inviting the criticism in an age where criticism is the loudest microphone no matter what.
So when this story about Scotty Pittman coming out and saying that he thought Kobe was better than Mike.
That happened before the documentary came out.
And it's also, if you watch the quote, he's like, I thought Kobe was better than him because he just worked so hard and he didn't have training.
And it's like, oh, you're saying MJ was better, but Kobe worked harder and you liked him and he didn't have a great coach, which he did.
Which he did.
Yeah.
But it is interesting to see people slowly start to chip away, man.
Yeah.
Like slowly start to chip away.
And I wonder if Jordan was better off if his legacy was actually more intact before social media.
Because social media couldn't, it couldn't do anything to disintegrate that reputation because it wasn't even in question.
It was just like, yeah, he's the GOAT, but let's not really discuss it.
Maybe LeBron's the GOAT now.
Is it LeBron?
Is he the best?
Whatever.
But you weren't really talking about what Jordan did or didn't do.
And now people are coming out and saying, nah, bro, Jordan actually wasn't that tough.
Like, I stepped to him and he didn't do shit.
See, I think if he just presented himself as I was obsessed with winning.
And if he was even remorseful, like, I was pretty hard on some teammates.
Like, you know, like, I fucked up.
If he was just more like, and not, I was hard on teammates, but I did them a favor.
They won because of me, which is true, but it was always his shade of the truth.
You're opening up the door.
And if that, sometimes he's straight up lying.
And if you do a better job of being objective and you're, you have, and this is, every goat needs somebody who's willing to push back.
And this is, again, the value of a Phil.
The director ain't Phil.
The director is going to say, oh, okay, you want us to say it like this?
Let's say it like this.
If he had a Phil Jackson type director, it'd be like, hey, man, is that true?
Are you sure you were okay with Isaiah being on the team and there was no conversation?
Because if not, it's a fucking problem.
You're going to look like an asshole.
100%.
I'm going to push back a little bit.
He didn't have that.
One lie eliminates all your truths.
It really does.
Trust is super fragile.
And that's the thing.
It's like every statement that he said in that documentary or that was even portrayed in the documentary, because now we know he put out the edit for the documentary and he co-signed everything that was out there.
This wasn't a third party, right?
With the Lance documentary, I don't think it's Lance.
I think it's someone else making it.
He just agreed to it.
But this is Jordan's doc.
So Jordan is controlling the narrative.
If one lie comes out, now we question every other truth.
We start to go, oh shit, were people really that afraid of talking shit to him and him holding a grudge?
Or were they just making that up for the documentary?
Because if they could make up the food poisoning thing, they could make up that.
Sam Smith also said he lied about something.
Did I send that story?
He said that he lied about the food poisoning and he said he lied about the seventh year.
And I knew they weren't coming back.
Yeah.
I knew that was.
We said that early in the documentary.
And then there's a scene I remember where y'all remember he's in the hotel room alone and he's like, I'm not going to miss any of this.
This, oh, like I'm just confined to my hotel room and I can't do anything.
This is my only time alone.
That moment, I remember being like, oh, he was done here.
He knew he was done.
And then he comes out and says, it's maddening I didn't get to do a seventh year.
And it's like, well, you could have played for somebody else.
You only want to play for Phil?
You didn't want to go to another team.
You could have gone to the Knicks, given the Knicks a championship, been God, God, God.
Bro, I love Michael Jordan, but I wonder if there's a lesson to be learned here, which is if you're already considered the GOAT, screaming at the top of your lungs or putting out a documentary that goes, I'm the GOAT in a biased way, in a biased way, only puts you in the situation where you could be criticized and can chip away from your GOAT status.
Yep.
I don't think he was considered the GOAT.
Like there were way more discussions of who's better, LeBron or Jordan.
Now, because of this documentary, we've all seen that, okay, no, Jordan was definitely better than LeBron.
So I think he needed this to cement himself in our generation.
I agree with that, but if it had been done more objectively, or if his only focus was, if his only focus was, I wanted to win more than everything.
Winning was the only thing that mattered, and that was it.
And it wasn't all the other shit, then we might have been like, yo, this dude was obsessed with winning in a way that LeBron isn't.
I think Akash made a great point because if he was more of an asshole in this documentary, we would believe everything that he said.
Yeah, I wanted Isaiah off the dream team.
Fuck him.
Yeah, fuck him.
Fuck him.
I didn't like him.
Fuck him.
And you know what?
The GOAT gets to do that.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if you showcase every single story, if you say every single thing that happened, matter of fact, if you even have some humility, if you're always like, you know what, I stepped to Robert Parrish, that's a big motherfucker, bro.
Hey, Steve Kerr.
Something like that.
You don't always get my way.
I mean, I ain't always, I tried to push.
Sometimes I push buttons too far.
I regret some of the things I did.
Sometimes people call me on my shit.
Son, I really think if it was, like you said, if it was just focused on how much, what he was willing to do to win, no matter what it all costs, we would look at LeBron and go, nah, he's not willing to win at all costs like Jordan.
Solidified.
But when you build yourself up into this kind of folk hero, which he did, he turned himself into one of these Wild West heroes from the movies that he loves to watch.
And we all bought it, but it was stupid that we bought it in retrospect because it's like, this can't all be true.
Son, we live in the information age.
Right now, we can go to every single person that was in that documentary and go, is this what happened?
And they had the ability, true or false, to chip away at it.
That's dangerous, bro.
I'm just saying the only people you're hearing negative things from are the B level.
Besides, this is audio of, let's play this clip.
This is audio.
I'm going to read the tweet.
Audio of Michael Jordan admitting he told Rod Thorne that he wouldn't play on the dream team if Isaiah was on it.
Let's hear it.
And this is from.
Yep.
Something's going on.
Just give me two seconds.
This is from a podcast Jordan did or an interview Jordan did a long time ago.
Right.
Right.
Years ago, maybe decades ago.
So this is a 23-second soundbite.
If we can't get the audio right, we'll just read the quote.
It's probably in the article.
Let's do it.
We got it.
Hello?
Nah, we'll insert it later.
What's going on?
I don't know.
Probably something's this quarter's breaking down or something like that.
Scroll up.
I think the article has a quote.
Rod Thorne called me.
I said, Rod, I said, Rod, I won't play if Isaiah Thomas is on the team.
He assured me, he said, you know what?
Chuck being Chuck Daly, which we also speculated, doesn't want Isaiah.
So Isaiah is not going to be a part of the team.
You called the Chuck great part of the world.
Chuck didn't want him on that fucking team.
I knew something happened there.
And if you soured with the coach that took you to two championships, you're an asshole.
You're a piece of shit, real talk.
And if Jordan said that, I didn't want him on the team.
Fuck, Larry didn't like him.
Chuck Daly, his own coach didn't want him on the team.
Why doesn't he need to be on the team?
And he was 1992, Isaiah, not 1988, Isaiah.
He's not the same player.
Why the fuck do I need him on the team?
Also, he's probably not the only person that said he didn't want him on the team.
Yeah.
A lot of people probably say they didn't want him on the team.
I think it'd be better if he was honest.
Yep.
Brutal honesty.
Let us know how fucked up you are, man.
Treat us like you treat your teammates.
There we go.
But maybe he wasn't brutally honest.
All this shit, I think, just came out of his insecurity.
Like he green lit the documentary after the after LeBron won the finals.
Yeah, apparently you hear that?
Yeah.
He green lit the after LeBron came back from 3-1.
He green lit the documentary.
Like he just felt all this insecurity and then had to like lie about it.
Like, what do you do when you're insecure?
You start like embellishing shit.
Inflating yourself.
You know, you said there's a lesson here maybe to be learned as much as we love Jordan.
I think Jordan teaches us a lot of lessons on what to do and what not to do.
He's teaching lessons all the time, whether he realizes it or not.
What to do in a lot of ways, how hard to work, all that shit, the singular focus on winning, that's all.
You can do all that.
What not to do, don't be Jordan now.
This unhappy, miserable motherfucker in a mansion, just yellow-eyed, fucking drunk all the time, smoking cigars.
Yeah.
Bro, when you are on a, like, you didn't even fact-check your own shit.
Yeah.
You didn't remember saying publicly, I don't want this guy on the team about a controversy that's existed for decades.
Yo, I'm not going to lie.
Jordan strikes me as the type of dude that believes his own lies.
Yeah.
Well, that makes perfect sense.
You know how you like saw in the documentary, he made up that LeBradford Stevens or whatever, LeBaffer Smith, whatever the fuck his name was.
Like he said something that I took it personally.
He said, good game.
And I took it personally.
What an asshole.
Yeah.
So it's like, he strikes me as the type of guy who goes, no, I don't think I ever told Rod Thorne.
And then just starts believing that he didn't tell Rod Thorne.
And he just believes whatever reality he's in because it benefits him to believe that.
That's true.
And that is like a telltale sign of a psychopath or at least sociopath.
One of those two.
You just start believing these things are real.
Yeah.
And yeah, it's kind of a shame, man.
Oh, God, imagine this actually killed his legacy.
That'd be really sad.
I don't think, I mean, I think there's always going to be, it's just going to go back and forth.
There's going to be a tipping point where it's too far.
We're hating on Jordan.
We forget he's the best.
And then I think it'll even out.
If Scotty comes out and he was like, and he starts chipping away, and he has every reason.
Yeah.
But if Scotty comes out and he starts chipping away, that's not a good look for MJ.
He's just going to look like he's hating.
Fair enough.
Because if all the goats in the dock praise Jordan godlike, that's the word I need.
If your contemporaries who are the best at that time are saying, no, you're the best, that's it.
I don't care what the other role players are saying about me.
Who are you talking about?
Like Magic, Larry.
Like they're saying he.
Yeah, but they're also guys who didn't play against LeBron.
Like there's never going to be guys who play against Brad Lee.
I'm just saying at that time, he's the greatest.
So it's like, we can't, Jordan will never play against LeBron in their prime.
So we'll never know, like, really have them head to head.
But I'm just saying, from what we saw in the dock, from what we saw in real life, and then what we see from LeBron right now, it's like Jordan's the best.
I don't deny Jordan's the best.
That's how it is.
It's like people can take all these knocks at him.
It's not going to dethrone him.
Here's what I'm saying.
I don't deny that he's the best.
And I think he is the best.
Prior to the documentary, I thought he's the best.
The documentary has solidified it in a lot of ways for me.
That being said, I think he's opened up more doors for criticism through the documentary instead of closed them.
And the idea behind the documentary, I presume, was I'm going to close all the doors.
Okay.
You're not even in this conversation, LeBron.
You're not even in this conversation, Kobe.
Nobody's in this conversation.
It's just me.
I'm the goat.
And now all of a sudden, you can see a door open over here where it's like, yeah, I mean, he was good, but he was kind of a bully.
A door opened here.
Horace Grant said, I'll fight you right now.
So if the story's coming out, he wouldn't let Horace Grant eat.
And now Horace is like, I'll fight you right the fuck now.
What are you going to do if you're Jordan?
You got to fight this guy or you look kind of like you might have been lying.
Or you have something coming out where it's like, yo, Dennis Rodman was one of the greatest basketball players to ever play basketball.
He just didn't really score the ball that much.
But the fact that he played the game the way he did it, it allowed Michael to be successful.
And then it comes out that, whoa, Scottie Pippen was actually the second best player in the NBA during Jordan's career, and he happened to be on Jordan's team.
Like, if all these things start coming out, like, whoa, that was actually the first super team.
And not only did they have a big three, they had a fourth.
Tony Ku Coach was one of the best players.
And it's like, is that the most talented team ever?
More talented than the Warriors?
All I'm saying is doors are opening out of nowhere.
All these doors are opening.
And you're like, whoa, that was not the goal of this documentary.
Yeah.
I think it could have negative effect.
Good point.
And he just took shots everywhere.
If he had done it or if someone else had done it, Ken Burns said this.
This isn't a documentary.
It's whatever.
It's bias.
It's his production company.
Yeah.
Ken Burns is a dork, but I think you might have been right.
If there was more objective, the last 40 seconds against the Jazz, incredible.
But if he doesn't also say, yeah, you know, Pip didn't do shit.
Fucking back was hurting, pussy.
You know what I mean?
And then you leave out.
Nimesh Patel brought this up.
I was talking to him yesterday.
Apparently, Ku Coach had a great game.
He had a great series that series.
Jordan doesn't mention that.
If Jordan is objective, like, yeah, man, Pip was fighting.
He was a fucking warrior, but he was in pain.
He just was limited.
Kukoach played great, but that's Ku Coach.
You know, I just, those last 40 seconds, I realized we won't win game seven.
Pip's Incredible Last 40 Seconds00:01:38
We have to win this now.
I got to go do this now.
There's a degree of humility he just spoke with.
And then you watch that 40 seconds, like, yo, this motherfucker really went and won the game.
Yeah.
Lay up, steal on the other end, win the fucking game.
Game-winning shot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kukoch had 30 points, shot 83% from the field.
I mean, insane.
Insane.
Yeah, yeah.
So if he's humble about it, yeah, I mean, yeah, Kukoch played great, but Pip, that's our guy.
He's fucking, that's my right hand.
He's hurting.
He's limited.
He's a warrior.
He's fighting.
Instead of looking at Pip all skeptical, like Pip says his back was hurting or whatever.
You know what I mean?
It's a back, big deal.
Anyway, anything else before we get out of here?
We got a long up for y'all today.
I don't believe so.
Look at the topic list.
I think we're good.
Anything else we can cover on the Petrion?
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