Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Kyle Larson's N-word controversy, debating sponsor fallout and comparing it to rappers like Ludacris. They analyze Floyd Mayweather's boxing legacy, questioning if his ego allows his son to surpass him unlike LeBron James or Steph Curry. The hosts critique NYC's COVID aid distribution, attack the body positivity movement regarding obesity risks, and debate Bernie Sanders' political cowardice versus AOC's charisma-driven appeal. Finally, they explore gendered expectations in dating and politics before concluding with a sponsorship read for Raddix CBD. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Masculinity and Dessert00:07:15
They basically just said it's not masculine if a man orders dessert.
That's what that's what it all boils up.
What the fuck does dessert got to do with masculinity?
Why?
Yo, why you need something sweet, son?
You a little sweet.
This could be genius.
This could be black women trying to get black men to stop dying from heart failure and hypertension and all these things.
Maybe they just hate black lives.
Maybe they just want to keep all the cheddar bay biscuits for themselves.
You know what I mean?
Cheddar Bay son.
Hold on.
I want to go back.
Just is gay.
Is that what you guys are saying right now?
She's saying it, and I'll be ordering dessert, and it's kind of gay now that I think about it.
All right, I'm not going to say, they gave you the smallest.
No, no, What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Flagrant Sue.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here at Akash Singh, Alex Media in the building.
You know, it's a slow news day.
You know, there's absolutely nothing going on in sports when it is national breaking news that a NASCAR driver has said the N-word.
I am shocked.
And I mean that.
I'm not even bullshitting you.
I am shocked that a NASCAR driver acknowledges black people exist.
That blew my mind, yo.
This guy man progressive, if you ask me.
Son, how woke are NASCAR fans that they complained about this?
No, that's so good.
So, everybody who's listening to this right now, there's this NASCAR driver named Kyle Larson, who I just found out about today.
He's playing a NASCAR video game with tons of black people because you know that's the video game black people play during quarantine.
Is NASCAR eye racing?
And he thinks that he's, I guess, not able to be heard or in a private chat.
Because he's just talking to his teammate.
I don't know.
We just saw the video.
Yeah, so basically, I think it sounds like he doesn't think that he's live.
So he just goes, Alex, you want to hit it for us?
You can't hear me.
It's crazy.
Hey, nigga.
So he goes, and again, we're not defending this at all, but he goes, hey, you can't hear me, right?
So he assumes he can't be heard.
And then he says the word that you fucking better be positive nobody can hear you when you say it, right?
It's like you were talking to your friend on the phone or some shit like that.
Be like, yo, can you hear me?
Bitch, slut.
You just say the horrible words because you know they can't hear you, right?
Or like your girl's got her headphones in while she's clean or some shit, and you just start saying crazy shit.
Hey, ho, come here, suck my dick.
You're like, what'd you say?
Nothing.
Only this time she wasn't with headphones.
This time the whole internet.
This time, she had paused the music all of a sudden.
Unbeknownst to you.
I'm just saying, if there's one game that you would think you're safe saying the N-word on, it's an iRacing NASCAR video game.
Maybe he's trying to be more in touch with hip-hop culture and he just doesn't realize you're not supposed to announce so much.
Son, he hit the R-R.
He did it.
He hit the R, son.
Son, he leaned into the R.
He hit the R, bro.
Like, it sounded like a door was opening, right?
And effortlessly dropped that.
Oh, God.
Like, that's not his first M-word.
Do you remember your first M-word?
Yeah.
He tried to send you up.
I was made to say it.
Come on, Akash.
No, I don't remember.
Black friends were like, yo, man, you can't, you don't ever say the word.
You say everything else.
You don't make every racist joke.
You might as well just say it.
And if black people challenge you to say it and you don't say it, in my mind, I was like, Am I a pussy?
I don't know.
So they made me say it once.
And then they were like, it sounded awful.
Don't ever say it again.
They hurt my feelings.
And now I'm like, I got God.
My first N-word was with two.
No, no, let me tell you how real it is.
I've never told this story on either here or the Google Idiots.
My first N-word, I was with two of my boys, both one black, one half black, half white, right?
One of them who's doing, who just got out of a lengthy prison sentence, and the other one ended up robbing my family.
Sadiqi said so.
No, Not Sadiq.
This is my boy Alex, another kid named Wyman.
And we were hanging out at Alex's crib and they kept dropping it.
Yeah.
I didn't say it like, oh, here we go.
I literally said it in conversation.
So they kept saying it like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, this, blah, blah, blah, da, da, da.
And I remember I went, I went, yeah, these, and I said it, right?
I said, and then I went, oh my God, I cannot believe I said that.
Like, I did not have his reaction at all.
Like, I was so remorseful, but it just came out.
Like, I was around people who were just saying it, you know?
Like, I remember when I was in Spain, all of a sudden, I'd be speaking Spanish like a little better than I did the day before.
And I was like, I'm really learning this.
And that's how I felt at Alex's crush in that moment.
Bro, I felt so fucking horrible.
Yeah, you felt mad Spanish because you're saying the N-word, but it's kind of weird that you're saying it.
And, but no, but, you know, like later on, Wyman robbed my family some business.
So I think we're even.
I think that's reparations.
Yeah.
You didn't get 40 acres in a mule, but you got a little something.
How do you rob a dance studio?
Say again?
How do you rob a dance studio?
My dad and mom would like give, well, my dad would give my dad would like give my friends jobs, you know, like that look like they could learn something, learn some responsibility, this type of shit.
And so he'd give them a little jobs.
I mean, he's just the fucking best.
And so the job that he gave Wyman, I think, was he would roll up, he would count the money from the vending machine.
It's just cash right there.
Yeah.
And he just, and you know, he started to notice that shit was going.
So he set up a little sting operation.
You know, and that sucks for you, though.
You got to be the guy.
It's like, yeah, damn, sorry, my friend is stealing from you.
And you know what?
It's like, yeah, just see it fucking.
Yeah, I felt a little bad about it.
You know what I mean?
But it was like, but it was one of those things where he's like.
You're incapable of remorse, are you?
Yeah, I felt a little, I felt a little guilty.
No, no, I felt embarrassed for him, to be honest.
I felt embarrassed for Wyman.
I'd be livid at him.
Nah, I wasn't even that mad.
And my dad basically came to me.
He was like, he just called his mom.
He's like, hey, I got to tell you this.
Like, it's unfortunate.
Like, I know it's uncomfortable.
I don't want this money back.
Like, it's fucking $20, whatever the fuck it is.
Like, that's not important to me.
The White N-Word Insult00:14:43
I just want you to know.
And then we weren't really that good friends anymore.
But he was like a really great kid.
He was fucking hilarious.
And it's just, that's what I was most upset about.
That he was like, I thought this kid was like super funny and like really brave.
Yeah.
Like I really admired him.
And then he did this stupid fucking thing.
I mean, brave enough to go to jail, right?
No, no, that was the other.
That was the other friend.
No fupiquets.
What's that, huh?
We're talking about our first N-word.
Mark, what was yours?
Al, do you remember your first N-word?
That's like saying mama dada mama dada So here's the question does Kyle Larson need to be forgiven No No, his fan base doesn't care.
I'm gonna be honest keep going this is interesting.
This could be the best thing to happen to NASCAR Keep going.
There is a segment of the population that never gave a fuck about a NASCAR race.
I'm not tuning in if you pay me now.
I might hate watch to make sure this guy's losing this now.
This is the only time I've ever been remotely invested in the how a NASCAR race ends.
And it's just because I hope he loses.
Interesting.
So I'm paying some attention.
That's the first time that's ever happened in my life.
Interesting because you want him to lose.
You want him to lose.
And doesn't he already lose?
Like, I don't know about this guy.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Well, he's going to win, though, because his fan base, it's like Trump.
He's going to win.
No, no, no, but I don't know about him as a driver.
I assume I would know about him as a driver.
Oh, I assume he's not good.
Yeah, okay.
Probably not.
I wonder if sponsors drop him.
And the reason why I say is because usually sponsors will drop you if they feel like it will affect their bottom line.
Right.
But they must be going into this knowing that a lot of the fans don't really care if the driver says the N-word.
They love him more.
Right?
Like in the same way that like, you know how like a sponsor, and recently it hasn't worked out this way, but like a sponsor can sponsor a rapper, knowing full well that the rapper is going to say some crazy shit about women and crazy shit about like guns and drugs.
Yeah.
But they'll still sponsor them.
Right.
No, because they know the fans don't care if they say something about that.
Every once in a while, the non-fans catch wind of the rap lyrics.
And that's what happened with Fast and the Furious.
What's his name?
That rapper.
Move, bitch.
Get out the way.
Ludacris.
Yeah, yeah.
Remember, Ludacris lost a Pepsi deal or some shit.
There's a bunch of white ladies.
I think it was Oprah.
I think Oprah was the one.
That's why he don't like Oprah.
Yo, Oprah.
Oprah foul.
Yo, I've been fucking telling you.
Oprah foul.
Fuck Oprah.
I bet this bitch behind Corona, too.
You think?
Who's it killing more?
Black males?
No, she hate.
No, it's not.
I just said that shit.
I don't know if it's not.
The news.
Come on, let me roll, yo.
Let me be misinformed.
My bad.
My bad.
So, yeah, so I don't know if it will cost him anything.
And I don't know if, I don't know, do black people care?
Do you care that a NASCAR driver said the N-word?
This is the first time I'm hearing about it right now.
Is it the way he said it?
No, I just...
Be honest.
It's something casual.
Yeah.
It was.
If Trump called a white reporter in a press conference and there's a white reporter in front of him, he goes, and he says that, hey, I'm going to say ninja.
Okay.
Right?
If he goes, be careful y'all.
I'm not going to say ninja.
I'm going to say Carter.
Be careful now, bro.
I'm going to say it's like, hey, white Carter, what do you have to ask him?
But he said the N-word?
That would be hilarious.
It would be fucking hilarious.
Sometimes it's too funny.
It becomes too funny to be angry at.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the fact, once you throw white N-word in front of it, come on.
Come on.
You guys should be able to say that.
You could call another white person the white N-word.
Nah, because you can't, bro.
That should be fun.
You can't.
See how black people try to trick you into doing some shit?
They're not fucking you up, dog.
That's how my black friends got me saying the fucking case.
Good thing there's no funding machine.
Bro, that's a funny thing to do.
Like when we open up the studio again, people are coming back here.
Yeah.
Like have people do their confessional for their first N-word.
Their first N-word.
Because black people must know that people have said it before.
Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, like they must know.
I think you all say it because you listen to hip-hop and Alex listens.
Alex polices when we're rapping along, the Coronas Got Challenge.
Oh, yeah, he was leaning into me to make sure I don't say it.
I don't say it.
Come on, bro.
We don't say it.
I don't believe it.
We don't say it.
Mark keeps it real.
Mark says he says it.
I hope.
Yeah.
We believe that.
He's even from America.
He's from France.
They don't care.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
If you're rapping along to lyrics, it's like come on, say, you're not policing it in your life.
If I get cut off by one of y'all, like if I'm driving, bro, and I get cut off, then I won't say it.
But I'll say some other shit that like gets out the same emotion.
To them, though?
Do you drive by?
Do you look at them and see he's black and then still keep that?
I look at him, I'll be like, a bomb atomically.
I say, Sophocles, philosophies.
This fucking Socrates cut me off.
I'll say some other rap lyric that's serious.
If you want to really heard him, you look at him and be like, you black cracker.
You don't want to help.
Can you meet it?
Can you put?
Oh my God.
That's how you spotted it.
That's how you fucking game.
Finally, we got one.
Real this bad boy in.
I feel like them five white people on the boat when they catch the swordfish.
It's wicked tuna.
I feel like wicked tuna is happening.
You black cracker.
Hey, switch the camera, you black cracker.
So that hurts.
It's like a Hemingway novel, and this is Andrew's black whale.
Listen, Sandcracker, if you don't shut yourself up, Soda did it.
Well, you fucking did it, Alex.
Alex, you did it.
Holy shit.
Oh, my God.
You invented something that made white people's lives even easier.
This is like the new cotton gym.
You saved racism, Alex.
You saved it.
Oh, my God.
Black Cracker.
Sandcracker.
Dude, oh my God.
That shit is hilarious.
Sweet and sour cracker.
Yeah.
Bro, no, you got it.
What is your thing?
What is your racist?
What do you how do we be racist towards Indians?
That's how good it is to be Indian.
We can't even be racist.
I know, man.
It's great.
Oh, yeah, I don't have like a slur.
You have a slur.
What is it?
You just you call me some shit that you think I am.
Exactly.
Oh, shit.
We don't dislike Indians.
Sandcracker is about Middle Eastern people.
Indians, we like you.
Everybody likes you.
Curried cracker man.
Okay.
That's the worst thing that we call Indians is the shit that we eat.
That's delicious.
Can you have a bit about that?
Yeah.
What was it?
The worst thing you do to me is when you think I'm somebody else.
Like, that's how you think you are.
No, no, you had something about the curry, right?
It was like, that's not a diss.
It's like, you smell like curry.
It's like, yeah, curry's delicious or something like that.
I don't even remember, but yeah, way back.
Maybe it wasn't a bit.
Maybe something you said on a podcast or some shit.
But I remember saying something.
But it's true.
It's like, I can't speak for black people.
I can speak for white people.
Some of us.
We love Indians.
Yeah.
We love you.
You're well liked.
You're well liked.
You're a popular minority.
We haven't even taken the time to find ways to hurt you.
Yeah.
The most we do is.
And that's what you fucking sound like and look like.
That's what you fucking sound like and look like.
Okay?
You fucking do.
You fucking do.
The Chinese viruses fuck China.
Okay.
And Indians sound and look like this.
Dirt, dirt, dirt.
Okay.
If you want to say southern white people, go land on it or whatever like that.
That's what they fucking sound like it looked like, too.
It's a pandemic.
We don't have time for pleasantries.
It's a pandemic.
Oh, it's a pandemic.
Ow, Brian, you black cracker ass motherfucker.
Blackcracker, Al.
That's the name of this episode.
It's gotta be blackcracker.
Son, okay.
So, what is your, what were you, what are you going to call people?
You get to call people white N-word or sand N-word, and it's okay.
What are you going to call people?
You have nothing.
We don't have one.
White Curry?
Camel Jockey is like a lot.
I like it.
It's a mouthful.
What?
It's a mouthful.
Camel jockey.
It's too many syllables.
Four syllables, yo.
That's a lot, bro.
You know what?
And it kind of sounds cool.
You black camel jockey.
He's fire.
I'm telling you, it's impossible to diss Indians, bro.
You love fires.
Camel jockey assumes you own wild stock.
Yeah.
Like, imagine I call you, you fucking horse rider.
You equestrian, motherfucker.
You equestrian.
So you're wealthy.
You got to be the own equestrian.
Camels ain't cheap.
Bro, how do you offend Indians, dog?
What about Packy?
Packy Hurts.
But Packy isn't them.
Yeah, but yeah, they're not Pakistani.
It actually doesn't.
I'm just like, eh, what are you going to do?
See?
No, that's what it is.
Dot head?
Yeah.
Dot head.
No, that was good.
That one stings a little.
I see that you fucking.
But towel head is not.
That's Punjabis.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's Indians, but even then, I feel like they mean it for who is.
Yo, son, they got a towel on their head.
Like, how are you upset about that?
They mean it for who you call it?
Muslims.
Yeah, but if they mean it for Middle Eastern people.
If they did mean it for Punjabi people.
Yeah.
Can they really be that upset?
Yeah, dog.
When they get out the shower, what they draw off with?
A towel.
You saying when they don't have any towels left and they see their pug sitting right there?
It's pug, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When they see that shit sitting there and then no towels, you don't think they look at that shit and be like, ah, fuck it, and just unravel that shit and then dry off?
You know how you use the little towel when you got no towels left?
You know, use the hand towel and like slowly wash yourself down like one of them divers with the shit that absorbs everything.
Yeah, no, you just, I'm sure you just wrap it up.
No, it's unwrapped.
Yeah.
But you're not going to put it and then put it on.
It's not an acorn.
You just put on top of your head.
You're not going to wet the whole shit and then put it on your head.
You got to wrap it anyway.
It's not encased, is it?
Shut the fuck up.
What do you mean, encased?
What's going on here?
The pug.
It's called a pug, right?
It's not a beanie.
It's not like it's not a helmet.
You actually have to do the wrapping.
Correct.
So if you unraveled it, you could dry off.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know you got to push back here.
Yeah.
It's a towel.
It's a towel.
It's more like a linen, to be honest.
It's a linen.
You fancy fucking towel hat.
That's motherfucking sandcracking.
I'm not wiping on with a bed sheet.
Isn't that it?
It's more like a bed sheet.
It is a bed sheet.
If they said sheet heads.
Shitheads.
What a fucking name.
How did we miss that one?
Yo, did you have a distarbandy?
Did I say that?
No, no, no.
Destadabandi is when they is the celebration of when it happens.
Yeah, did you have one?
No, because he's not a Punjabi.
No.
Oh, my bad.
Yeah.
We learned about that.
Yeah.
From Distarabandi.
I'm getting cultured from comedy.
I was asking this dude because he had a massive fucking turban at the comedy show.
Yeah.
And he didn't know.
He's like at 12, you get your turban.
Before that, you don't have to wear one.
And so I had a little joke.
I was like, ah, you're the opposite of Drews.
It's like, you get a little more on your head.
And then I go, what is it called?
He goes, I don't know.
I don't know what the celebration is called.
Some other guy goes, destadabandi.
So that's what it is.
So at 12 years old, when your son, who's definitely going to be fully Punjabi, fully sick, you should know.
You should know that.
We're going to buy that kid a fucking sheet.
It'd be a long one, yo.
Dude, we are going to wrap him up, dude.
Like fucking luggage at the airport.
You know, that plastic shit.
Give me a long one, yo.
Say what?
It'd be a long one.
That's a process.
What?
To wrap it up?
Yeah.
Dog, I'm saying, I think dot head or towel head isn't too fucking crazy.
It don't hurt.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like...
Who gets hurt by towel head?
That's fucking pathetic.
It's, yeah.
That really you can't make it through the day.
Someone calls you a towel head when you got a fucking towel on your head.
It's like calling someone taxi driver.
I think if I was actually sick, it would bother me because it's like a religious thing.
Now you're coming to my religion and that will bother me more than.
Take that up with the guy who said put a towel on your head.
Basically.
What do I mean?
Like, it's like, it's like being upset.
Let's say calling a Jew a Yamaka head or napkin head.
Like, really?
You that upset?
Saucer head?
It's kind of funny.
Right?
Hey, tea saucer head.
Like, if you're Jewish and you're that upset when you got a tea saucer on your head.
Yeah.
I can't wait to call somebody a Jewish cracker.
So that's going to slap.
Jewish cracker.
A cracker, though.
I know.
Yeah, but what is that?
Bro, is the...
Wait, no, no, you're not allowed to use R. You got to call them a Jew.
The problem with yours is everybody kind of wants to be called it.
Yeah.
Because it's like a rite of passage.
Yeah, but once you put it in the middle of the morning, once you put what they are in front of it, now it's not cool anymore.
You think?
Call him a white N-word.
See how it hits.
Yeah, call me a white.
Yo, that's my white.
But the R then, I think, will hurt you.
All right, hit me with the R. Say it.
Say it shit like that.
I feel uncomfortable saying it with the R.
It's okay.
It's easier with it.
Roll your R, you Puerto Rican.
You white nigga.
No, that sounded fun.
You said that sound fun.
That shit sounded festive.
That sounded festive.
That shit fly.
That's not a festival.
Calling Him a White Nigga00:15:07
Oh, my God.
Afro-Latino's got to take the N-word back, bro.
That's funny.
That's good.
Yeah.
So this is my white nigga right here.
Ooh, that's right.
Yeah, bro.
That's just stone, dude.
That shit's tone.
It's not R. Use that fucking R.
And then can you call him the sand one?
Why is this hard?
It's hard, yo.
It's hard to hate.
Shut up, sand nigga.
God damn, Alex.
That shit is hard.
God damn.
She's going to take that insane cracker ass.
Son, this is too much fun.
You need a good one, bro.
I don't have one, y'all.
Towel head.
It's long, though.
Cracker towel head.
Is you white towel head?
You got a white towel head?
No, that don't hit.
We'll find white dot head.
White dot head.
None of it slaps.
Yeah, you don't have one.
If you haven't experienced good racial oppression, this game ain't for us.
But white people, we haven't experienced it.
But our shit is slap.
Because black people hate you when they thought of a cool one.
Well, you need black people that hate us.
Then they'll think of some cool shit.
That's so true.
Black people are so rhythmic.
Yeah.
Dude, they found the beautiful word.
Cracker.
Cracker ass, cracker.
That's what I found, Chris Rockbit.
Oh, my God.
Put my foot in the cracker ass, crack ass cracker.
Dude, he is one of the most hilarious black cracker comments.
Kyle Larson, thank you for providing us with this fucking amazing amazing entertainment.
Okay, guys.
Now, some other things going on.
First of all, how's everybody at home?
Y'all doing good?
You dealing with this quarantine?
Good.
everything Gucci?
I hope so.
You know, there's been a Akash sent me over this story that I thought was pretty interesting.
It was about Ellen.
Akash, you want to set this thing up?
So Ellen, everybody I know, my perception of Ellen is Ellen is the greatest.
Nicest lady, just the best, comes out on talk shows like a white Oprah, giving away shit all the time.
Everybody gets gifts.
Also, much like White Oprah, apparently not that great of a person in real life.
And I had heard this once or twice before, but I kind of just dismissed it as like, sometimes you hear these little Hollywood rumors and you don't, it's like, how seriously can I take it?
Yes.
And then someone started a thread on Twitter that was basically just, I'll donate $2 to some charity for every shitty story I get of Ellen.
Of Ellen.
Just a story of Ellen being me.
And he got like thousands of responses or something crazy like that.
What?
And then he ended up taking like 150 or something that sounded believable.
Yeah.
And some of that.
And he rounded up to 300 and then donated the $600.
Now, it's a little unfair because you're rewarding people for saying the shitty stories.
But I was speaking to certain people whose opinions I respect and they were telling me that a lot of these that he heard were absolutely true and from sources that he believes are true.
Now, it's interesting that all of a sudden that people are coming out.
And now, I think this is what happens when people are concerned that we're not going to go back to business as usual.
Like when you feel like you could use Ellen for your career, you want a writing job, et cetera, then you're with it.
But when you're like, oh, we're not going back to normal, then we might as well blow the whole thing up.
Yes.
And I think that's what's happened because you see a lot of like people in the industry, like people that are respectful, you know, like respected.
Did you hear anything beyond these stories are true?
Or.
Meaning.
Did you hear anything additionally?
Did you get any other inside info?
I just got inside info that these stories are, I can't say they're true because I'm not there, but of people we know.
So it's not some random person who was like a PA on the show.
It was like a writer or a comic that we know, both of us.
And we're like, why would she lie about that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She.
She is interesting.
Why would she lie about that?
I want to get it up because I want to read some.
Yeah, the first I heard about it was somebody, and this is actually about another guy.
He wrote for James Corden.
And then somebody was like, how was he?
He's like, nah, he's not that nice.
And the guys were like, really?
He seems so nice.
He goes, it's the same shit Ellen does.
You know, you seem really nice on camera, and then off-camera is not like that.
And then so this is what we're working with.
Yeah, go on, go, I'm going.
Yeah, but then I was just like, really?
Ellen?
And he was like, yeah, when the cameras ain't on, Ellen is...
Here are some of the things that the accusations made against Ellen.
TV writer Benjamin Simon replied to Porter's tweet with, she has a sensitive nose, so everyone must chew gum from a bowl outside her office before talking to her.
And if she thinks you smell that day, you have to go home and shower.
Reasonable.
That's fine.
I think what happens is like she's the king or queen or fucking bulldyke.
I don't know what you call her, right?
The bullcracker.
The bullcraw wheel.
She's the bullcracker, right?
Of her kingdom.
So when you have your kingdom, you decide the rules.
Yeah.
David Letterman used to have a rule, even if you're like a guest on the show, nobody walks down the hall.
Nobody's in the hall when he's walking down the hall.
That's interesting.
Which, in my mind, people were making an asshole thing, but I'm like, he probably just wants his time before the show.
You don't want people to interrupt him.
Don't interrupt him.
I want to get in the zone.
That's another thing.
It's like, what I'll try to do, and I'm sure Arkas will try to do is like, we'll make arguments for why these are reasonable.
Yeah, because I'm hearing them.
I'm like, what a fucking ass.
But sometimes there are good arguments for people acting what is perceived as a dickhead.
Now, I won't defend all these.
That's the one that I was like, I guess.
Son, the only issue I have with that is they don't, she don't make people take gum right before they enter the office of the building.
Like, you should have good breath for everybody in the building.
Like, we've all worked with people whose breath fucking stinks.
Yeah.
And then you got to talk to this guy all day.
Yeah.
Right?
There was this guy following around Charlamagne.
Remember that writer dude who wrote Gangster, American Gangster?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That old white man, were you working with us back then?
I don't think so.
So the old white guy that wrote American Gangster, he was following us, following Charlotte and Charlamagne around to write a New York Times article.
And this guy would close talk to you, and his fucking mouth stunk.
His breath stunk.
It smelled like tuna sandwiches.
It was horrendous.
And I remember this entire time going, I wish there was some way where I could force him to clean his mouth.
And I'll say this about that story.
If Diddy did that, I'd be like, that's great.
Diddy's great.
Diddy's the best.
If that's a Diddy story, I'm on board.
Yeah.
I guess we already have it in our minds.
He's kind of an asshole and he's brutally honest and all that.
But like, I'd be like, yeah, that's Diddy.
And also, she framed it like this.
She was like, everybody here deserves to work in an environment that is conducive to conversation.
So you must take a bite of this gum when you come in.
So your breath is good.
Sometimes you don't realize your breath is good, but you must do it.
And also, if you smell bad, you're not showering.
You're insulting the people who work around you.
Yep.
Easy sell.
That's easy.
I think you tell them in a nice way.
You don't force them to go home and shower.
No, you got to go.
Because that's like telling everybody in the office, hey, this person stinks today.
Go to fuck hole.
Or you can nicely bring them to the side and be like, you know, is everything okay?
And like, just what if they're going through something?
They depress or some shit like that.
Like, don't embarrass them in front of the whole staff.
That shit works, bro.
Also, sensitive nose.
It's a woman.
Like, everybody in here got a girl and they got some weird, and probably we have one too, but I'm too sexist to admit it.
They got some weird personal quirk that you're like, ah, that's just some shit she does.
I mean, she's just, she does this thing.
She hates this thing, whatever.
Like, I don't.
But you don't call her out in public?
No, I won't call my girl out, but every girl has these like idiosyncratic, like, oh, this is just a weird thing.
I'm finishing up.
Ellen got a strong ass nose.
Is what she's saying.
Ellen's thing is she got a strong ass nose.
She can't.
And if you're fucking worth, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars and motherfucker smells to you, you can send them home.
That I don't think is really nice.
Next, next, next.
A new staff member was told every day she picks someone different to really hate.
It's not your fault.
Just suck it up for the day and she'll be mean to someone else the next day.
They didn't believe it, but it ended up being entirely true.
That I can believe and I do know people like that now.
That's better than being mean to everyone.
Nah, yeah.
Like, think about it.
You're just mean to one single person at the office.
Because that's bullying.
And we won't stand for bullies on any level.
You're a bully.
You bully me all the time.
We talk about bully you, son.
I'm a bully, bro.
Nah, you're a bully.
Shut the fuck up and do the next tweet.
See what I'm talking about?
Holy moly.
Holy moly.
Bro, this guy goes on Carlos Gottalon.
He can't wait to trash motherfuckers.
They didn't even see that.
That's the best thing.
I love that shit.
No, I didn't trash anybody.
Only the guy who just said, hey, look at my weed.
I have no talent.
All right, man.
Grow up.
Brow the fuck up, dog.
I was actually going to tell you.
I was going to tell Drew needs to start fucking getting at these motherfuckers more.
Treat it like the front row at your shows.
I do.
Anybody can be the scientist, you say again?
Mark be the most vicious, yo.
Yeah.
Mark be low.
He'd be scared, bro.
He be shitting on everybody, yo.
Here's the thing.
Yeah, but he says it other than his breath in the back.
Like, they don't really hear that shit.
After they leave the chat.
Yeah.
Dude, to their face.
No, but my.
You're like Kyle Larson, bro.
My feeling of this is like, yes, I'm going to roast people and I'm going to fuck with them.
But at the same time, you got to understand.
Like, a lot of times these people, when they join the Corona's Got Talent thing, they're like, yo, man, it's so great to meet you.
I love your story.
You're in very tough confidence.
Like, nobody's a fan and respects Simon Cowell.
You know what I mean?
Like, no one looks at Simon Callie, like, you are great at what you do.
What do you do again?
Yeah, they don't love him beyond America's Got Talent.
Yeah, they're like, You have an opportunity for me.
I want to use you.
I'm saying you're the one who could get away with it.
Or maybe Alex.
But I do need fucking with them.
And also, it's hard if, like, somebody's singing and they're nervous and it's like, I want to be like, yo, I don't want to shit on this person, but a guy who's like, hey, bro, I love you.
Look at my weed.
They get it.
Fuck yourself, yo.
Nah, they get it.
These people get it.
The other thing is, like, I truly want people to do their best.
Yeah.
So if I started out trashing them, 100%.
Boom.
But if their shit sucks, then we go after it.
Yeah.
You know, unless it's a delusional girl and she's just singing crazy, then that's just fun to watch.
So everyone request to come on Corona's Got Talent.
Okay.
I worked Real Food Daily, served her at brunch.
She wrote a letter to the owner and complained about my chip nail polish.
Not that it was on her plate, but just that it was on my hand.
I had worked till closing the night before, and this was the next morning.
I almost got fired.
A letter's crazy.
Writing a letter, the level of white woman that is to write a letter?
That's wild, yo.
Yeah, she's wild, yo.
Writing a letter?
Motherfuckers, when they get to the bottom of the city, I have another food one.
She polices her crew's lunch orders.
Nobody allowed to eat fish.
They would come hide on our stage to eat when they wanted to be away from her.
Yo, oh, that's great.
You still feel these are reasonable?
Say what?
You still standing by their reasonable.
Nobody wants to smell fish all day, bro.
This guy.
If you don't have to.
If you don't have to.
Fish is fantastic.
Now, if you got 150 people, if you coming into my office and you got to chew gum, cool.
I'm talking to five people a day.
150 people on the show and none of them can eat.
This one's fire right here.
An old friend worked on her lot, smiled and said good afternoon to her one day, and she became unhinged.
Who do you think you are?
You don't look at me, yada, yada, yada.
Yeah, that's that's that bitch is real, bro.
Ellen is not fucking around, bro.
Come on.
Yo, come on, yo.
Yo, where's the one?
There was one foul ass one where somebody's gonna go into another job and then Ellen like begs them, like, yo, please stay.
Don't take this job.
They go to Ellen respectfully and like, yo, I'm gonna take this other job.
It's a great opportunity, whatever.
Ellen's like, please, I need you.
Please, you gotta stay with me, whatever.
Fire the bitch a week later.
No, it's there somewhere.
I don't see it.
Let me see if I can find it.
Maybe it's in the first and more, but that's wild.
But you know what?
This is what it's like when you have a girlfriend.
This is what I think a lot of people don't realize, right?
It's like, we're shocked.
We're shocked that a woman is capable of these things.
And under normal circumstances, you should be shocked, right?
But then you realize that she's a bull.
She's a bullcracker.
She's a bullcracker, right?
And when you're a bullcracker, you have to deal with a woman.
And she flips bitches, right?
I don't think Portia Rossi was also a bullcracker.
I think we're just assuming that though, because she was cute.
Are you assuming that because you're pretty?
100%.
I don't believe in beautiful lesbians, bro.
I don't believe in beautiful bullcrackers, bro.
I don't think they exist.
For real.
So I heard that like beautiful bullcracker?
I heard this like 10 years ago from another Alex Rico with.
He was like, they're all bi.
Every pretty lesbian is bisexual.
If you're a beautiful lesbian, I see that disproven.
Yeah, if you're a beautiful bullcracker.
Gorgeous bullcracker.
Gorgeous, beautiful bullcracker is fun too.
But if you're like a bad bitch, beautiful bullcracker.
There's no way you're 100% lesbian.
I can't buy that.
If you're a bad bitch, beautiful bullcracker.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't be.
If you're a beautiful, bad bitch, bullcracker.
Son, there's no way.
There's no way.
You know what Ellen is?
She's just Macaulay Culkey from Home Alone grown up.
Like if Macaulay Culkin, what's his name?
Macaulay Culkin.
Yeah, what's the character's name?
Kevin McAllister.
She's Kevin McAllister.
I don't even know that cracker's name, yo.
Son, I did not know that cracker's name.
But I think that, yeah, I think she's just the grown-up version of that.
And that's fine.
And she's a fucking bitch.
But you know what?
That's what it is.
That's when you have to deal with some annoying wife all day.
That's going to wear on you.
If you have to go home and deal with your annoying wife, who probably has shitty ass breath, okay?
Probably loves eating fish.
All she's doing is correcting the wife shit at home at work.
So she don't got to deal with that at work.
You got to blame Portia DeRossi.
Portia?
Is that her name?
Yeah.
I got to see this bitch.
Yeah.
She's pretty.
She's pretty.
She's a pretty bullcracker.
She's a pretty bullcracker.
Yo.
What?
I'm trying to find this story.
I can't find it, but it was there somewhere.
This funny bitch.
Yeah, she's an arrested developer.
Yeah, she is.
What?
I didn't know she was lesbian.
She didn't give me lesbian vibes when I watched it.
I don't think she is.
She's been married to the dude.
There you go.
And then another one she had, and Hesch.
Another one she flipped.
Ellen flips bitches, bro.
Nah, Ellen may be Tiger King.
She's the fucking Joe exotic.
She's Tiger Exotic.
She's fucking Joe exotic.
She's not a lesbian, son.
She's no, no, Ellen's lesbian.
Finding the Bullcracker Story00:02:24
No, no, no.
This girl, Portia.
Neither of them are lesbian.
Wow.
Yes.
Wow.
It all makes sense.
It all makes sense now.
So you're dealing also.
Ellen is stressed because she knows she has that she has a woman at home that really isn't into her.
Yeah.
She's into the lifestyle.
She's into the power.
She's into the opportunity that Ellen can give you.
But she's not really into you.
So you're stressed.
That hurts you.
That's Joe exotic.
Yeah.
This shit makes all of sense.
That's it.
Yo, she, yo, she offs herself, son.
No, she's not going to off herself.
But you never know.
Yeah, real talk.
I'm looking for a story.
I just try to pop in and contribute.
You know what I mean?
That's all.
Anyway, all right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second, pay some bills here.
Now, look, you're inside.
You haven't had a haircut.
Your hair's growing.
All right.
Maybe some of you guys are realizing that that hair is thinning.
Maybe you were moving so fast that you didn't realize that you were thinning before, but you've had a lot more time to look in the mirror and you're like, damn, some of my shit is going.
Well, guess what?
You don't have to lose it all.
That's right.
Matter of fact, you can even have some of it grow back.
You do it with keeps.
Okay.
I've been on the active ingredient that's in keeps for probably 10 years right now.
Full head of hair, baby.
All right.
I noticed some thinning.
I was like, I got to get ahead of this.
The best way to do it, I promise you the best way to do it is to do it before it's gone.
Okay.
It's not going to take a bald head and grow hair back.
Sorry, you're fucked.
That being said, it will maintain everything you do have and in some cases, grow back hair that was gone.
That's what happened for me.
It grew back.
So you want to catch it before it's gone.
You catch it in its early stages and then you don't have to go bald.
Simple as that.
Simple as that.
I bullshit you not.
I did it and it fucking worked for me.
And my hair grew back thicker.
It was nuts.
So keeps.com.
Okay.
Keeps.com/slash flagrant.
Use flagrant.
You can get a program to make sure your hair grows back to keep everything you have.
The number one indicator for a guy aging well is hair.
Simple as that.
You don't have your hair.
People don't say you look good for your age.
You do have your hair.
They say you look amazing for your age.
Simple as that.
Number one indicator.
LeBron's Head Coaching Path00:13:22
Keeps.com slash flagrant.
You can get a program starting for $10 a month.
And for a limited time, you can get your first month free.
So go to keeps.com.
That's K-E-E-P-S.com slash flagrant.
Get ahead of this shit right now while you're in quarantine.
You're not doing anything.
You might as well start.
You might as well start growing your fucking hair back.
You might as well get that mop back on your head.
Keep it sexy so you're ready to go post-quarantine.
Matter of fact, that's a great idea right there.
Get through that awkward stage where you're growing out your hair while you're not seeing anybody.
Come out looking fresh.
Keeps.com slash filet rain.
Go get that right now.
Let's get back to the show.
Next, let's talk about something else.
Who fucking cares?
What else do we got?
You think, oh, Floyd, I want to know your take on Floyd saying he wants to be not only a boxing trainer.
Yeah.
TBE.
He wants to be the best.
The boxing trainer.
The best ever.
The best ever boxing trainer.
So being the best ever boxing trainer requires some luck because you have to have the best ever boxer.
Nobody can take someone who's trash and then turn them into the best ever.
Right.
Right.
So Roger Mayweather, his uncle who trained him for the majority of his career, might go down as one of the best trainers ever because he trained the best fighter ever.
Yeah.
You know?
And so you need some luck.
You need to spot some talent and you also need to be able to like nurture that talent and make sure that these other promoters don't steal them from you, et cetera.
I don't think that he's going to want to put in that work and I don't think he's going to want to put in that effort.
And I also don't think that he's going to find an athlete that is as dedicated as Floyd was.
Yeah.
So like the thing about, the thing about Floyd is he had unbelievable skills, but he wasn't so athletic that he can't teach it.
Like for example, if Vince Carter, maybe that's a bad example.
Let's name him an athletic freak.
This is a better example.
Shaq.
Yeah.
Shaq can't teach anyone how to play basketball.
Right.
Because Shaq had something that no one else has.
Right.
And that's how he dominated basketball.
While he did have a nice touch and all these things, at the end of the day, he's 300 pounds and he can bounce around as tippy toes.
Yeah.
Nobody else can do that.
Mad light footed, can dance his ass off.
Unbelievable.
Hakeem Malajwan can teach you how to play basketball.
Charles Barkley can teach you how to play basketball.
Unbelievably athletic, but he's 6'4 ⁇ and he's getting rebounding titles.
He can teach you things.
That's why they say point guards make the best coaches, right?
Because they're the smallest guy on the fucking floor.
They have to learn how to play this game up here.
TJ McConnell is going to make a great coach one day.
Trash NBA player or decent NBA player, but coach, he'll be unbelievable.
So I think Floyd, in my opinion, knows the game of boxing so fucking well that he can teach someone to be a great boxer.
And the reason I say that is not because of his physical ability.
It's because he didn't have a single hole in his game.
And when you don't have a hole in your game at all, you've studied the game well.
So the defense was impenetrable.
He had a counter to anything that you could possibly throw at him.
I think he can teach that to someone.
Is he going to get lucky enough to have a generational talent under him during that reign as a trainer?
I don't know.
We'll see.
I don't think he's going to have the patience for it.
Yo, one, I don't know if he's going to have patience.
Two, I don't know if a generational talent of a boxer is going to be willing to swallow their ego to be trained by someone more famous than them.
Yeah.
That is rare.
You're the up-and-coming boxer.
You're Javante Davis.
Javante Davis wants to be the man.
But when you're with Floyd, you're not the man.
Right.
And I don't know if a young boxer can handle that.
Two things.
One, to your point, to that point.
Somebody said this about racing and boxing, like foot racing, like running, are the two most, the two sports that require the most confidence.
I have to know I'm going to knock this motherfucker out.
There cannot be a shadow of a doubt.
Otherwise, it's over.
Same with a foot race.
I have to know I'm faster than this guy.
Why does the foot race do that?
I feel like it's just the same, like track star mentality of just like he was, just like there.
It's just you.
It's an individual sport yeah, and it's just the most primal shit.
Running and fighting are the two most primal things.
I don't know about that running thing, but go and make your point.
I don't want to interrupt.
If you're a boxer, you have to have an ego.
You have to.
This is a primal thing.
I'm literally trying to survive out here, yeah.
So if you need an ego, you probably won't be able to swallow your ego for Floyd because you need that ego yeah, whereas a basketball player, you're one of 12, one of 14, whatever.
There's a coach, always okay, I can defer to my coach, I can swallow my ego, I'll get my time on the floor, or whatever.
I think it's different if you're a boxer, because it's just you yeah, and it's the shit that requires the most ego.
Yeah, like if I think I could knock a motherfucker out.
You know how fucking egotistical that is, how confident that is.
Yeah my, my thought was, I don't know if this is a real thing Floyd is doing or if he's just trying to shift a narrative that suddenly popped up last week with NBA Youngboy and his oh 100, 100.
Like I don't even deadbeat daddy right now.
Yeah, I don't even think this is real.
Yeah, it might not be real at all and it might be him shifting a narrative and then that's.
That's kind of smart.
But um, I mean, if he's trying to do it with his son, there's no way you, there's.
Never in history will a successful, never in history will a success a super successful, wealthy boxer's kid be greater than him never, the only time it's ever happened and not greater than him, but be as successful in their field.
The only time it's ever happened was with Layla Ali, so Muhammad Ali and then Layla, and Layla was the best female boxer at the time.
But like, how many female boxers are there?
They're not even like professional athletes, right?
Yeah, they all have like side jobs.
They work at fucking Fedex or some shit like that.
There's not.
You're not really competing against the best in the world right right, but what you have to go through as a human to go to boxing is so intense you have to have no other opportunity.
All right, you have to have nothing else in your life right, you go to boxing because you have nothing.
Greg Hardy is an MMA fighter right now.
Yeah, Greg Hardy was an Nfl star.
Yeah, now he's an MMA fighter.
Why is he that?
Because he got arrested and his career is over.
His area is over, exactly.
There's no other opportunity for that man on this planet.
Right, it is be a bouncer at a nightclub in Vegas or be in the MMA right, simple as that.
His kid, Floyd May with his kid, has tens of millions of dollars in his name already.
Probably you cannot go out there and get punched in the face and be willing to risk it all if you have that kind of money I mean your bank it makes sense that boxing would be the most like that.
But I can't think of a father son, sports parent in any sports.
Was Ken Griffey.
Ken Griffe was good, Ken Griffey senior, how good was he?
You can have Dale Curry, Steph Curry.
You can have a good player or like a pretty good role player, and then his son is a fucking star.
That happens, you're right.
You're right.
That's a great point, which is they don't have the extreme circumstances necessary to um to dedicate themselves maniacally To a sport to be great.
And it also seems like, I mean, this is going off of Zaire, Wade, and Bronny.
They don't seem, it seems like to get to the NBA at least, it's just such a fucking genetics lotto beyond everything.
Yeah.
And those guys won the lotto and their kids got great genes, but not lottery genes.
It's not lotto jeans.
Yeah.
These are mega millions.
LeBron James's.
That's one of one human beings on earth.
Yeah.
Him, Zion.
There's like a handful of those guys.
Your kid's not going to be that.
Yeah.
Your kid will be athletic as fuck.
It won't be you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You are the freak.
You are the random mutation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's a good point.
It rarely happens.
Though you do see mediocre professionals or like college-level players producing these amazing kids.
Right.
And not all of them, but a lot of times it happens.
Joe Bean Bryant.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes, yes.
You know, Clay Thompson.
Yeah.
Steph Curry, like all these guys.
And Dell was no slouch.
He was a really good player.
But I think what happens is you pass on some good genetic material, but you also pass on work ethic and training.
And the understanding of the game.
And the understanding of the game.
And with Floyd, because his dad was a boxer.
Yeah.
The dad was a boxer.
And his dad, or his uncle is really successful.
He was like multiple, you know.
But those are the guys that also got to rely on their mind more.
Like Floyd did.
But when you're Del Curry, you got to rely on understanding the game more than a genetic freak, more than a, I don't know.
He wasn't good, but Corey McGeddy was a genetic freak.
Yes.
He didn't have to require.
Dell had to know the game, had to understand everything.
So he could pass that on to Steph.
And Steph got the resources.
And Steph can, or you know, he can craft the perfect jumper, whatever, learn how to play point guard.
And the shoes weren't too big to fill.
And the shoes weren't too big.
Sometimes the shoes are too big to fill.
And that just weighs on you.
That shadow.
You can't get out of the shadow.
Like Austin Rivers.
Yeah.
I think Doc's shoes are too big.
And I don't think they're too big as a player, but I think as a coach, they're actually too big.
And he just can't get out of that fucking shadow.
And that weighs on him psychologically.
You also need to be a little bit of a sociopath, you know, to be successful at a sport.
Yeah.
And I think that's one of the most impressive things about LeBron is that he's not that sociopathic, at least doesn't seem it.
Yeah.
You know, maybe he'd have seven rings if he was.
Yeah.
But he's so good, he can have empathy and still win.
Yeah.
That's rare, bro.
And again, I'm reading this book.
It's called The Soul of Basketball, and it goes through the 2011 season when the Mavs won the championship.
And Pat Riley does some interviews and he talks about LeBron.
He's like, don't get that shit twisted.
He wants to win more than anything.
But it seemed like Riley had trouble understanding that LeBron was like fragile in certain ways and like he couldn't really be the villain.
Whereas Kobe is just no problem being the villain.
I don't give a fuck who likes me.
Any means necessary.
LeBron wants to win, but like he was very uncomfortable being the villain.
And he also needed things his way.
He didn't like most players, he's like routine.
LeBron didn't seem to like the routine.
You know, there's another little interesting story he said.
I don't know if you remember the beginning of that year when the Heat first formed the big three, they were like losing a lot of games.
And there was one game against the Mavericks early in the year where Spolster was trying to talk to LeBron.
The coach was trying to talk to LeBron.
LeBron just like bumped his shoulder and walked past him.
Yes.
And there was this huge national story.
And LeBron was like, yo, I didn't even see him.
I don't know what the deal was, whatever.
The next day, they had a meeting, Bosch, Wade, and LeBron with Pat Riley.
And then Pat's talking to them, whatever, explaining they're saying their piece.
LeBron is looking down for the most part.
And then at the end of the meeting, he goes, Yeah, don't you ever get to itch?
And Pat's like, What itch?
And he goes, They itch to coach.
And Pat's like, guys, I'm not going to coach.
That's not going to be a thing.
And then LeBron was like, All right, fine.
And then as he gets up to walk out, he starts scratching his thigh.
Like, hey, it's itchy over here.
You need to start scratching.
And Pat still wouldn't do it.
But it's interesting, LeBron was ready to get Spo out for real, for real.
Like he's dropping his to Pat Riley.
Yeah.
Let's get this guy fired.
Yeah.
There's cool little stories like that you hear about this season.
I'm surprised Wade didn't protect him because that was always Wade's guy.
I think it was Pat's guy the most.
Who?
Spolster.
Yeah, maybe he was Pat's guy, but he was Wade's personal coach.
Like when Wade was on the team, you know, each assistant coach will usually handle a player.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he was Wade's handler.
Okay.
So I think that's how he kind of got grandfathered into that head coaching position because Wade was cool with it and he was the Don.
Right.
Right.
And, but yeah, again, he was obviously, you really earned the respect of Pat Riley because I think he started as like a tape guy.
He was like a video tape.
Yeah, some shit like that.
And I think Riley was just like, I believe in this guy.
This is the guy.
Yeah.
I don't care.
And I think Wade also wanted, at that point, it's all like they're all trying to be finicky and whatever.
And yeah.
A lot of people don't realize also that like the decisions on the team don't always get made by the coach.
The coach executes the decisions of the front office.
So if the front office says to the coach, hey, we want to double LeBron.
Yeah.
Then you double LeBron.
And the coach executes that to the player.
And that's a healthy team.
That is a healthy team.
That is a team that has culture.
Now, a team like the Dallas Mavericks, right?
Yeah.
They'll probably give the keys to what's the guy looking like Tim Carrey?
Yeah.
To Carla, right?
And they'll go, he does look like Tim Carrey.
And then they'll give the keys to the way, you can do whatever you want because we trust you.
But a brand new guy, like a Nick nurse on the Raptors, you bring him in because you trust him, but you also say, Nick, we want to do this.
And that's up to you to execute.
If the coach you trust to instill a culture, once you see that, all right, that's it.
You let him go.
But before that, this is what we, and if you're Pat Riley, this is the, and it was also with LeBron.
Like, apparently he explained to him in the meetings, this is not going to be like Cleveland.
Cleveland, apparently, he would hang out at the practice facility all day because he ran it.
Yeah.
Pat was like, you're going to do this and this and this, and then you're free to go home.
Wasting Money on Tests00:04:12
That's why LeBron.
And LeBron would go home.
Yeah.
LeBron left because he didn't get treated like a king.
Yeah.
He also won championships, I think, because he didn't get treated like a king.
100%.
I mean, how many has he won since?
One.
And they let him do whatever he wanted, and he got one.
And then...
Got the fuck out of there.
Yeah.
Okay.
What else are we talking about, boys?
What else we got?
Some news that New York is going to get 5,000 tests, COVID tests per week.
And this is from India.
So thank you, Akash.
People coming through.
Sam, we the goats, man.
You're coming through.
Wait, what's going on?
Y'all are getting 5,000 COVID tests a week to us.
50,000.
A week.
Thanks to us.
Applied from India.
Wait, wait, where does...
I hate this.
What?
Yeah, you would.
I don't get it.
Like, you got fucking babies starving on the street and you're making COVID tests.
Why don't you give some fucking rice to the boss on the street to start making COVID tests?
Can y'all send back some fucking rice, please?
Dude, countries are so odd, bro.
Like, y'all got a space program and you got little babies starving on the street.
We don't got space.
We don't got space.
We need to explore space because we got too many people.
There's no space in all of India.
You've been to India, son.
I've seen it.
Ain't no space in India, yo.
What about in the mountains?
If this room was India, there would be 14 of us in here.
Really?
Bruh, it's that fucking no space in this space.
It's just odd to me.
As an Indian, you're not upset.
As an Indian, you're not upset.
About what?
When you see the way the spending is going, like 50,000 kits that you're giving to America, you're in no position to give America anything.
Give your people shit first.
Then you give it to me.
This is healthy.
That's a PR move, yo.
Yes, PR, because we need your shit later.
You're going to get our shit.
We're going to call you.
When are we not?
You're going to call us when you need some.
Yes.
That's how the world works.
Hey, look, exactly.
You need some COVID tests?
We got you.
Throw us some.
Why do y'all have so many COVID tests?
Because we all doctors.
No, you're not.
Not there.
I feel like your doctor's here.
We probably sending them back to cousins like, hey, man, just in case, you know what I mean?
On the low, we shipping them from here.
It's a fucking triangle, you know what I mean?
But in all seriousness.
We ship them from fucking Jersey.
That don't make you get curious a little bit.
You're not like, why the fuck we got all these COVID tests?
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, they don't have them.
They making them fast.
Why are they making them?
Because that's what they pay for.
They're paying a lot.
Oh, we're paying for it.
Yeah, I don't think it's being donated.
Oh, yeah, what the fuck?
Oh, we're buying it.
The way that you said it, you said India is shipping.
I didn't believe either because we have such big hearts.
No, no, no, no.
We're buying them, but it's just that when we should be getting them from the federal government, we have to rely on India to provide them.
Who do you think is paying India?
New York.
This is New York made a deal with India directly.
New York.
Yeah.
Cuomo.
It's actually from Bloomberg.
It's a city thing.
Bloomberg.
Yo, Bloomberg is a bad thing.
I mean, the Blasio.
My bad.
The Blasio.
I'm bugging.
De Blasio.
Yeah.
De Blasio doing something.
I don't know if you read this article.
Son, I'm looking at it right now.
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio announces it will be getting tens of thousands of coronavirus testing kits from a company in Camel, India.
Camel?
Yeah, no.
I was saving that one.
It is from Camel.
Camel.
It is Camel India.
What's the name of his website?
Sandcracker.com.
Son.
Nah, just look at it.
It's trending.
Keep going.
Keep going.
It's the best, yo.
Called knew who he was talking about.
Son, I'm just reading tweets.
It's just a tweet.
There's more to this I don't fucking get.
Trending.
Maybe they're using like money and like the disaster stimulus to do it or something like that.
But I find it hard to believe.
Everybody all of a sudden has these fucking COVID tests and stuff.
I'm going to be honest, I don't think we should be.
I don't think it matters to test everybody.
I was talking to one doctor who brought up a good point.
She was like, stop wasting money on tests.
People who have it have it.
They've spread it.
Let's put all that money toward treatment for people who do have it and it's bad enough that they're in the hospital.
Nah, I like to test because then if you had it already, you got tested if you have antibodies or if you have it.
And then once you've, if you're one of those two people, you can go back and get it.
I don't want to spend too much time on this, but like to test the 10 million people in New York, if we're getting 50,000 a week is how long?
20 weeks?
Stop Testing Everyone Blindly00:11:31
Yo.
That's four or five months.
At that point, it's not worth it.
Let's talk about something that's actually important.
Okay.
NYU scientists, largest U.S. study of COVID-19.
I hate that they even call it that.
Finds obesity the single, oh, the funniest name for corona, smallcox.
Okay, NYU scientists, the largest U.S. study of smallcock finds obesity the single biggest chronic factor in New York City's hospitalizations.
Doctors at NYU Lango and Health Center, excuse me, conducted the largest study so far of U.S. hospital admissions of coronavirus focused on New York City.
They found obesity along with age was the biggest deciding factor in hospitals admissions, which may suggest the role of hyperinflammatory reactions that can happen in those with the disease.
That being said, I need all y'all fat fucks to keep that same energy.
Okay?
All right.
I want this biggest beautiful shit.
I want y'all to keep that same fucking energy with this.
Don't start losing weight now that it can kill you like we've been telling you for your entire fucking lives that being fat is not healthy and it's bad for you.
It is the number one reason that in age, you know how that people kept saying the shit that it's an old person disease only killing old people is killing fat people as well.
Okay?
So we would need Lizzo and all these motherfucking biggest beautiful bitches out here that can't tell you how good it is to be fat.
You're helping people die.
You're enabling the coronavirus.
You're basically telling people, keep smoking cigarettes during Corona.
Keep vaping during Corona.
Yeah.
Fat people aren't, they're not motivated by fear of death, though.
Otherwise, they'd have been lost weight.
So this ain't going to reach them.
I don't think that they believe fatness causes fear of death.
That's my issue with the body positivity movement is they don't equate obesity to death.
They equate obesity to the size of their bones.
This stupid thing.
We're like, I'm just big boned.
Have you ever seen a skeleton and big bones?
What?
People aren't saying that anymore.
Yes, they are.
The biggest beautiful movement is not I'm fat, or I'm not fat, I'm just big bone.
It's I'm fat and that's beautiful.
That's what Jamila Jamil.
This is the problem.
And I root for this brown girl.
They really think that's their body type.
They don't.
They do.
All their fat, they think, is attributed to being big bone.
Not just the size of their bones, but their body type.
This is how I am.
This is my body type.
I'm more predisposed to being fat.
I don't even think that they word it like that.
You're talking of retards, bro.
You're talking to people who don't understand science.
You think they are?
Just because they don't read nutrition labels doesn't mean they don't understand that.
They don't understand science, bro.
They're not like me.
They're not like me, dog.
They don't understand it.
What's that?
What is that?
Yo, dude, they don't understand science like me.
Ask me anything about science.
I know it.
I don't want to.
Any question you have.
What's the cheap and easy way to make a white bulb?
The cheapest and easiest way to make a light bulb is you rub your hands together real fast and then you touch it.
How is the internet created?
Say again.
How is the internet created?
Jews.
Okay, what else?
No, but seriously, let's get back to these fat people, right?
So the idea, now they're faced with a real, they're faced with the repercussions for their actions.
Usually fat people face a repercussion for their actions much older, right?
Like there's no body positivity amongst like seven-year-old fat people.
Because there are no seven-year-old fat.
Because they're dead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You died from being fat.
Yeah.
Right?
Simple as that, right?
So, but at a young age, there's this big is beautiful shit.
There's this, you know, whatever, my curves or my body, all this other fucking nonsense.
And then we go, hey, that's unhealthy.
And they go, you're shaming us.
Like, we're not shaming you.
We're trying to keep you alive.
Yeah.
This is called trying to keep you alive.
Right.
Okay.
Any health professional will tell you the exact same thing.
Yeah.
Now that Corona's here and it's expediting that process, are they going to keep the same energy with Big is Beautiful?
They have no energy.
That's why they're fat.
That's a good point.
You know what I mean?
That was a good joke.
Now answer my fucking question.
Okay?
You're avoiding this like a fat person at celery.
Where's the ranch dressing?
I don't think they're going to change, though.
I don't think fat people will stop being fat.
But are they going to keep the same energy during Corona?
So my question is, the information is out there saying that big is not beautiful.
Big will kill you because of Corona.
Are they going to keep telling fat people, hey, you should be big and you should be proud of how big you are?
So to me, it's about the enablers, the skinny people who are saying that.
You don't answer the question.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to fucking help you.
God damn, this motherfucker is too impatient, yo.
Yes or no.
Yo, man.
Yes or no.
Why are you so impatient?
How about you saying I'm making a bunch of people?
You're bullying.
Stop bullying me.
You're going to fucking say.
You're not bullying me.
Wait, explain why it doesn't make sense because I think it does make sense.
It's not about the bad.
I'm trying to act myself.
Andrew's acting like a fat person waiting on his food.
Where is it?
It's like working with Ellen.
I can't wait on nothing.
God damn, son.
You beautiful bitch bull die.
But go, go, go, go.
Bull bitch crack ass.
Do not call me a bullcracker.
That is my word.
No, no, but what I'm saying is it's easy to say big is beautiful when there isn't a virus that's killing you because you're big.
Yeah, the fat people aren't going to.
They're still going to say big is beautiful.
I want to know.
I was always asking.
Now I want to know what I'm saying to add to your point and make it not fall apart is maybe the people who enable fat.
Because fat people ain't going to change, son.
Yeah.
Hold on.
But we're listening before.
They're not going to listen now.
Bro, they've been ready to die.
That's the name of Piggy's first show.
No!
Ready to die because I'm fat.
That's funny.
No, look, no, no, no.
This is the thing.
They're not listening because fatness doesn't affect you now.
This is what I'm trying to get.
That's what I'm trying to get across.
They're trying to fucking listen.
I understand your point.
Okay.
Ellen out here.
Listen, listen, listen.
I get Ellen now.
I get Ellen.
Okay, right?
This white nigga, wild.
Okay.
The reason why nobody takes fatness seriously, and I do mean this sincerely, the reason why nobody takes fatness seriously is the same reason why nobody takes alcoholism seriously because it doesn't kill you now.
It's why nobody takes cigarettes seriously.
It doesn't kill you now, right?
Everybody will go, all right, in 20 years, I'll deal with my smoking cigarettes.
In 20 years, I'll deal with my whatever, right?
We agree with that.
That's fair.
It's not an immediate thing.
Whereas, like, what is something that is an immediate death?
Maybe heroin.
That's not even that immediate.
AIDS?
AIDS, yeah.
What are other things that are just like immediate?
What's more immediate than that?
Say again?
Yeah, any illness or something that we take seriously because it could kill you in the now.
Cancer.
No, that's not now.
Let's say you travel to a foreign country and you get Ebola, right?
We took Ebola really seriously.
Yeah.
Right?
Because it could kill you fucking now.
One of those things, right?
So since we can put it off, we don't take it that seriously.
Well, now it's been proven that it will kill you now.
Immediately.
Corona, because you're fat, is going to kill you.
So can you maintain a big is beautiful movement, whether it's not, whether it's the enablers or the fat people themselves, can you maintain that movement knowing that the death is now, not 20 years from now?
Yes.
How?
Because they don't think it will happen to them.
That's everybody that anything.
But now we know it does.
But they don't think it will happen to that individual person.
It can happen to other big people.
It won't happen to me.
It won't happen to me.
You know some shit can be dangerous, but you're like, yeah, it won't happen to me.
I'm fine.
Fat people in particular are the kings of it won't happen to me.
Right, but that's true.
And I understand that.
And I believe that most of them will operate like that.
But let's talk about the Jamila Jamils or whatever like that.
So that's who I think.
Now, this is what I was trying to get at.
Not only fat.
Yeah, but not only would you kill you, not obese, not obese.
These people were like big is beautiful.
They're not obese.
Maybe whatever.
It's all obese.
Now, not only could you being fat kill you.
Why do we have levels to fat?
It could kill me.
Grossy or not.
Ain't no people out here like, I'm fat.
I'm not obese.
Yes, you are.
I mean, there are levels, though.
Are there?
Yes.
There's two levels.
Nah.
You fucked a few not skinny girls, I'm assuming.
And I wasn't going, well, they weren't obese.
They were lizzos.
So when I was trying to pick up this fucking obese cracker up, bro, this fucking.
She wasn't a fat cracker.
She was a biscuit.
Cinnamon roll.
But you said you fucked a few lizos in your day.
Nah.
One lizzo.
Now, but why?
So all skinny girls in a lizzo?
They were gross.
So there's an overweight range and an obese range.
It's too many ranges.
That's what I'm saying.
It's two different ranges.
No, it's fine.
I'm just saying 85 fucked a few lizos.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For all intents and purposes, yeah.
Okay, fair.
How was that?
Say again?
How was that gushy pussy?
Honestly, it's not as wet as they claim it to be.
Like, that bitch has always got this thing with like, oh, it's tighter because it's more pushed together or whatever like that.
And it's not.
It's not.
It's the same.
It's pussy.
Pussy's pussy.
Pussy will maintain.
The head is different, though.
Say again?
The head?
Oh, yeah, that, yeah, that is.
I mean, they're trained having things in their mouth all the time.
Yeah.
I mean, no.
Nah, it is.
They're lazier.
Yeah, but there's more cushion.
They're breathing on it all heavy because they're getting tired.
Yeah, they run out of breath and shit like that.
They can't breathe out of their nose.
They're all asthmatic and shit.
It's not as good, dude.
It's not as good.
They can't beat out of their nose.
That goes away.
That goes away.
They got fucking sleep apnea, dude.
But how good would that feel on your dick, probably, Jeff?
The little, the little ball there, right?
Going on your dick.
Maybe it's possible.
But going back to the thing.
Okay, so the Jamil Jamils.
So the enablers, now you could get Corona and it could kill you, but also it's more likely to kill me.
If you being obese affects you getting corona and it spreads, now you being fat is not just a you problem.
But it doesn't affect you getting it.
You get it the same way.
It affects you when you have it.
You're not, it's not more easily transmittable if it gets worse.
It's just the same.
Yeah, it's just a virus.
Come on, son.
How are you acting like you don't know these things?
You're an idiot.
If everybody's there, that's all I'm saying is bullshit.
So I can't wait to hear Jamil Jamil tell people to go be fat right now or all these other go-be-fat activists when you know it's killing motherfuckers.
Now we finally have a bit of evidence we could throw at them, right?
Where we could go, you are trying to kill people.
The whole time we've been saying it, you're trying to kill people, but now we literally can point and go, you are trying to get people to die from coronavirus.
I guess I just feel like these people ignore logic anyway, so they're not going to start seeing it now, even if it's immediate.
Politicians Are Full of Shit00:12:36
That's the only difference I thought we were going to gang up on fat people and then y'all turn this into a goddamn fucking science election.
They know they're defending fat people.
We're saying they're going to continue being stupid.
Yeah.
Let's talk about something else, bro.
Fucking fat niggas, man.
These fucking fat crackers, bro.
All right, what else?
Yo, you hate Bernie Sanders.
I may have flipped on Bernie, yo.
Yo, Bernie is such a fucking maggot, bro.
You are such a gang.
Why are you so hyped about this?
Bro, Bernie is such.
No, no, no.
Let's start this right.
Let me tell you why.
This is what Bernie is.
Bernie got, let's just call it what the fuck it is.
And I voted for Bernie twice.
Okay.
Okay.
This is somebody who I wanted to be present because I was misled by Bernie.
I thought he was actually good.
I thought he was brave.
He is a fucking coward.
Okay.
Let's call it what it is.
I didn't vote for Bernie twice.
I voted for him once and he didn't get into the situation where I could vote for him this time.
But I was going to vote for him this time.
Right.
But basically, I put my fucking, I wanted it, right?
You let me down, dog.
So the DNC, regardless of what you want to say about the DNC, you cannot deny that they colluded to not allow him to win the primary when he was running with Hillary.
And then they did the exact same thing now.
Now, if you're listening to this right now and you're going, well, how did they collude?
They didn't have to collude that crazily, but they basically had Buddha Judge and Klobacher stop.
What's it called?
Right before Super Tuesday, they had him drop out of the election, but they had Warren stay in so that Warren would peel votes away from Bernie, but all the moderate Dems would have no competition with Biden and all the moderate Dem voters would go to Biden, giving him Super Tuesday.
They basically hand it on a platter.
So instead of dividing up those moderate Dem votes amongst those three, they all go to Biden.
He gets a big Super Tuesday, whereas Bernie has to beat out what's her face?
Elizabeth Warren.
Say again, Elizabeth Warren, right?
Now, granted, everybody's personally responsible for where they are.
Bernie is not good enough.
That is a fact.
If this is a meritocracy, he does not have the skills.
He should be a liberal arts teacher at fucking Wesley and he should not be running for president.
That's who he is.
And that's how good he is of a politician.
He is not good enough to make it.
He cannot cut it.
He's not good enough.
We like his ideas and we think we like him for who he is, but he doesn't have the skill, okay?
Right.
If this was a real meritocracy, he would fail.
Say what you want about Trump.
Trump faced similar adversity from the Republican Party.
They're not as corrupt as the Democratic Party in the way that they rig elections, but they're still corrupt, right?
Still corruption.
But he was too much of a force for them to control and he ended up winning.
Son, he overwhelmed him.
It's fucking Blitzkrieg.
He just overwhelmed it.
He overwhelmed him.
He really did.
Bernie is not as good as Trump, so he couldn't do it.
And he's also not willing to stoop as low as Trump is willing to stoop.
Yeah, Trump will get down there, boy.
Oh, he's comfy in the mud.
He's made of mud.
He is a mud person.
He's a mud person, right?
So Bernie gets raped by the DMC with the Hillary Clinton, then endorses Hillary.
Okay.
Literally, all his supporters, me, I don't know if you guys are supporting, I may have to do it.
I'm going to win.
All of us believed in him, believed in his message, right?
He hands us over to his rapists.
It's like you're the fucking, what is it in the Catholic Church?
The flower boy or some shit.
What are they called?
Altar boy.
You're the altar boy.
You get raped by the priest.
You become old enough to bring in more altar boys and then you bring in the altar boys so they can also get raped by the priest.
That happens four years ago.
We're like, there's no possible way he's going to let that happen again.
He cares too much about us.
He cares too much about the cause.
He cares too much about these people who have supported him.
They've put their hard-earned money out there, right?
Where again, he's not taking that super PAC money, right?
The average donation to Bernie Sanders is $20.
So that's poor Americans giving their last fucking $20 to this fucking pussy coward, right?
In hopes that he would help them and shed light on their causes.
And what does he do?
He gets stripped of his shit again, collusion by the same organization.
And right after they rape him again, what does he do?
Serves up his flock to the rapists again and endorses Biden.
What should he have done, though?
Yeah.
Called him out.
He should have called out the corruption.
When they cheated him with Hillary, when they, what did they do?
They shut down.
There was some weird thing that happened during the Hillary primary where they shut down his ability to email.
Something happened where they shut down his email list or something like that.
The DNC shut down so that he couldn't have access to his email list, so he couldn't reach out to his supporters.
They did all this fuck shit during the Hillary campaign.
Obviously, the super delegate shit.
He should have called out the system.
He should have called it.
He's not a Democrat.
Yeah, but he needs the proof.
He has the proof.
It's out there.
We all know the proof.
No, that's all speculation.
You can't prove that they told all these politicians, oh, drop out exactly at this time so you don't split the votes and they all go by.
You need to disprove.
You disprove Biden, though.
By the second Super Tuesday where Biden like sealed the deal, I think Warren was out at that point.
That's the only thing that I think they colluded.
This time it wasn't as obvious.
I think early on with Booty Judge, they were really trying to push this guy.
And he created the app that everybody votes on or some dumb shit like that and he wins two states.
That's wild.
But I think by the end, it was just clear Biden was going to win.
Warren dropped out and Biden then disappeared.
It was going to win because they made it that.
If Bernie, if Warren had dropped out, I think we can look up the numbers, but if Warren had dropped out, then he could have beaten Biden on Super Tuesday.
But this bitch who was just a part of the fucking establishment.
And again, I'm not angry at the idea of the establishment.
I'm angry at hypocrites and liars.
Don't act like you're fighting the system and then feed us to the system.
You're admitting that you're just a fucking distraction.
Yeah, but now that he has no clear.
Let me ask you a question.
Let me ask you a question.
Are his politics lined up with the Democratic establishment?
Not really.
Is he even a Democrat?
He doesn't claim to be.
He just has to run.
So why the fuck are you running as a Democrat?
Because that's the only way.
That's the only way you can run.
No, he has to run as an independent.
You have to blow my mind.
Why didn't he run?
2020 run as an independent.
Son.
Because I think he has a better chance getting Trump voters than he does Biden supporters.
That's like him running as a fucking communist.
Like people just are going to vote for what they feel.
Run as a communist.
Run as a communist.
And then he's not going to get no votes.
He's not going to get any votes.
People don't feel comfortable.
They vote there.
But be better.
But here's the thing.
He's not part of the party line.
He's a pro-gun guy.
Can you name Democrats so they're pro-gun?
No.
He doesn't align politically with Democrats.
Yes.
He constantly votes program.
He's in fuck.
What is he?
Where is he from?
Vermont.
It's a pro-gun state.
And he has more guns per capita than any other state in the nation.
And to the point of running independent, if you really want to, because my thing was, well, he just doesn't want to see Trump win.
I think if he ran independently, he could take out enough Trump voters that Trump might lose.
Because I think the really, the people who are like big Trump supporters are just like, yo, nobody fucking cares about us.
This guy does.
Bernie will be like, yo, I care about you.
Here's something that will actually make you money.
I actually hate the rich.
He is the rich.
He won't have a chance of winning.
Yes, he can take some votes.
But at this point, for the reason for him supporting Biden now is I just don't want to see Trump win.
That's the only thing I can say.
If you ran as independent, you could keep Trump from winning.
There you go.
Why do black people in America have no political power?
I get what you're saying.
Okay.
Why do they have no political power?
Don't vote.
No, you do vote.
You vote the same way every single time.
So you let that party, you basically, you give the party permission to do nothing for you.
Oh, yes, man.
And when one of you guys says, I'm not going to vote for this party that does nothing for you, you call him a sellout.
You call him a fucking loser.
You call him an Uncle Tom.
You call him a piece of shit.
So you're bullying each other into maintaining the status quo that does nothing for you, right?
Okay.
By what's it called?
By Bernie handing us all over to the Democratic Party.
He continues that.
If you want your ideas out there, if you want your ideas to make change, you have to maintain an option.
So then you're upset that he ran as a Democrat or that he dropped out.
Like, what are you upset about?
Both.
No, but most importantly, that he dropped out.
And most, actually, not even dropped out.
He didn't endorse Biden.
Not even dropped out.
Don't endorse Biden.
Fuck endorse him.
And call out the fuck shit.
You are 90 years old.
You're dead in a few years.
You have nothing to lose here.
Go out on your sword.
Go out on your fucking sword.
I feel the same way.
You know what Bernie is?
He's Yoel Romero in the fight with Stelebender.
This is your last chance.
Go swing for the fucking fences, bro.
I think the way he's looking at it is that if he goes out like that, then his mission is done.
He's out of.
Your mission is done.
Yeah, but now like now he's still a senator, right?
So he could still make some change.
What has he ever done?
What change has he ever made?
I'm just saying, like.
I think he just doesn't want to.
You go full nuclear.
Now it's go full nuclear.
Break it up.
Power is not handed over.
It is fucking taken.
Okay.
And if you want to make a change, then you actually have to put your foot down and make that shit.
And he's too pussy to put his foot down and make it.
He's too pussy to call it the powers that be.
And he's handing us right over to the same people that have been fucking over his party, fucking over poor workers, fucking over everybody.
I mean, if you really look at his political strategy, it is more aligned with Trump than the Democratic National Party.
100%.
Foreign policy-wise, foreign policy-wise, his pacifism in the rest of the world and anti-wars.
Say again?
Not healthcare.
Say again?
Healthcare aligns more with the Dems.
Economically, he's, I think, aligned very far left.
Economy is very far left.
Healthcare, he's very far left.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Economic and healthcare is very far left.
But foreign policy, and he's pro-gun.
Like, he's actually split.
I'm just saying, I hate the fact that he didn't have the balls to call out the corruption that was out there.
He just fell in line like everybody else, like a fucking sheep.
This time, I didn't think it was as corrupt as 2016.
But yeah, 2016, I could definitely see how running again Democrat in 2020, I was like, why is he doing this?
Just go independent.
Just go independent.
Matter of fact.
You still can't.
Clinton, the reason Clinton won, a lot of people think.
Of course, I can run for president if I want.
Nah, but I think there's like deadlines and shit like that.
No, because we're not even at the presidency.
We're at the primary period.
So you just run as an independent.
And again, in terms of costing Trump an election, the reason Clinton won in 92, I think, is because Ross Perot ran.
He got 20% of the vote, but most of those votes were from Republicans.
A lot of Texans I knew because business in Dallas was like, oh, I'll vote for Perot.
And listen, if he was out there as a third party, he could put pressure on the debate conversation, right?
That's true also.
When you're in the game, you could say, I want to do this for people.
And when people know that's an option, now the people, the other politicians that you're running against have to address that in some way.
They might not have to do it, but they got to address it.
When you out the game, you mean nothing and what you say means nothing.
To that point, politicians are all phony and full of shit.
If you watch a Democratic debate like on the primaries, they're talking about the most far-left shit.
You watch Republicans, they're talking about the most far-right shit.
They're trying to not only appease the fan bases, but there's far-left candidates and far-right candidates, and they bring these conversations in.
So now you got to pander to them.
When it comes national election, you're talking about some pretty moderate shit.
Nobody's that extreme all of a sudden.
I mean, Trump kind of was, but like, for the most part, historically, now all of a sudden everything gets moderated because there's no extreme candidates that are offering better alternatives.
You're forgotten in history, bro.
That's what you just did, Bernie.
His greatest contribution is going to be AOC.
Go Get Your Manscape Right Now00:03:27
Maybe, maybe.
And we'll see what happens with her.
She seems to be.
She's a star, y'all.
She's a star, but she seems to be towing a party line, right?
She's not fucking with the Mozieju girls anymore, right?
She used to be with them, the girl gang, this, that, the other.
And all of a sudden, she's not talking.
She's not talking about Biden being senile.
She's not talking about the Democratic Party.
Like, she's real quiet all of a sudden.
And I think they tapped her.
They said, hey, listen, you could have a future within the party.
Shut your fucking mouth.
Shut your fucking mouth.
Stop going on Twitter.
Stop yapping.
Stop going in front of Congress and yapping.
And you know what?
The second you give them the opportunity, all of a sudden they get real fucking quiet.
I don't know how old she is, but I feel like that might be the first female president.
Oh, come on.
All right, we're going to take a break for a second and talk about testicle hair, and it's very important.
All right.
You got to make sure those pubes are looking good.
I know you're in quarantine, but you're not Tom Hanks in this.
What is that movie?
Where he's on the island?
Castaway.
Yeah.
You're not Tom Hanks and Castaway, okay?
Get your fucking pubic hair right.
Have some respect for your girl.
Have some respect for your side chick.
Have some respect for whoever it is you're with.
And ladies, this applies to you too, okay?
You can manscaped.
I don't care.
I don't care.
It's not called womanscape.
You can manscape.
I've done it.
I've used it.
They have a brand new razor, by the way, the lawnmower 3.0.
The 3.0 kit is in the perfect package.
I'll read you what's in that, but it's got the Lawnmore 3.0 waterproof cordless body trimmer and a ton of other liquid formulations to round out your manscaping routine.
Telling you, it's as simple as this.
You shave your balls, you feel better.
Straight up.
Simple as that.
Number one.
Straight up.
Quickest thing you could do to increase self-confidence.
Trim your pubic hair.
Yeah, so line up for your nuts.
Line your fucking nuts up.
Imagine how good you feel.
You know how good you feel when you get a haircut.
I know it's been a while.
I know it's been a while since you had your haircut because you're in quarantine, but remember how great that feel when you walk out of that barbershop with all that fucking confidence?
You know how amazing a haircut makes you feel?
You could be in the barbershop with the entire barbershop making fun of you and making you feel like shit.
And when you walk out of there, you still feel great because of that fucking new haircut.
Miss it.
It is magical.
Same thing applies to your dick.
Give that shit a fucking shape up.
I've used the lawnmower.
It's perfect.
I get in tight with my balls.
I take care of all that shit.
I make care everything's good.
But then there's that patch that sits above your dick.
And a lot of times people don't touch that at all.
You got to take that down.
Take that baby down.
Okay?
Get it nice and tight.
Your dick looks bigger.
Less pubes end up in your girl's mouth.
Less of that coughing shit where she's picking stuff out of her teeth.
Have some respect.
But most importantly, you feel stronger.
You feel more powerful.
You don't feel like you're hidden in a patch of fuzz.
No, you feel like a man that's out there in the world and ready to conquer.
Go get your manscape right now.
Go to manscape.com.
Okay.
Use the code flagrant2 and you get 20% off and free shipping with flagrant two.
Do yourself a favor and always use the right tools for the job.
Manscaped.com.
Flagrant2 is a code.
Use it.
Let's get back to the show.
The Sarah Palin Vice Presidency00:15:45
Yo, I think she's a star.
Whether you don't know any of her politics.
I don't.
I don't really care.
Politics don't matter.
I just watch.
She's just a star.
Politics don't matter.
Intelligence doesn't matter.
None of these things matter.
It's likability context.
I think she's a star.
She's cute.
She is so unlikeable.
She speaks well.
What about Tulsa?
People didn't fuck with her.
They ate that.
They ate that bitch up.
And I'll vote for her because she's Hindu.
So straight up, let's go.
I don't agree with you, though.
As opposed to Indians, I'm not.
AOC, man.
Yeah.
AOC.
People, they're just like, yeah, I'm ready.
AOC, let's go.
I don't think she's likable.
Bernie Sanders was likable.
People like her.
I think there was something likable about Bernie.
To us.
Because we like don't give a fuck.
Most people don't like don't give a fuck.
We're outliers.
AOC gives a fuck.
She's cute.
She says things that people care about.
She caters well without sounding super pandery to most people.
I don't necessarily fuck with it.
I'm also sexist.
So, you know, we got to be honest about who we are at a certain point.
Yeah.
I don't know.
There's something about AOC to me, and it might be a political thing, but like, she's kind of like virtuous, like, gotcha.
That's what everybody feels.
She's see how Middle America feels.
I don't have any idea.
I thought Trump was going to get crushed in 2016.
I'm obviously out of touch with what Middle America thinks.
But I just see a star when I see her.
That's it.
Why?
It's just clear.
Like when you watch her, you're just, she's got it, whatever the fuck it is.
They always say that, and it sounds so corny, but she's got more charisma than pretty much every politician outside of Trump.
Trump got the most.
You can't deny I hate Trump or like Trump.
This is a motherfucker you're watching.
AOC is the same.
If she's on screen with three other candidates, you watching her.
If she's on stage with fucking Booty Judge and Kubitar or whatever the fuck, Elizabeth Warren, I'm watching AOC.
Son, she was a bartender.
Yeah.
That's a romantic story, yo.
So she knows how to talk to whatever crowd comes in her way.
And it's a story, too.
That's a great point, actually.
She knows how to talk to everybody.
He's a bartender, but also it's a story.
Yo, this is rags to riches.
In our president, the bitch was a bartender.
Every other president comes from money.
Barack didn't.
But outside of that, they all come from families, money, blah, blah, blah, et cetera.
She's a bartender.
There's like romance to that.
She's a woman and she's cute.
When she talks, this is what I go.
I go, I go, when Barack Obama talks, I went like this.
I went, holy fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's true.
When George Bush talked, I went, this guy.
When Trump talks, I go, this motherfucker is what, like, I smile when they talk.
Dude, FDR talks, you're into it.
Like, if you go back to speeches, Abraham Lincoln, I don't know, I don't ever heard him speak, so I can't, you know, whatever.
But it's like, there is a fucking likability to them.
When AOC talks, I literally look at the screen and I go, I hope one of the legs on her chair breaks.
It's so annoying.
She is so annoying to me.
That's right.
With Congress, like, so what did you say?
So, in 1946, your grandmother once bought a bagel at a deli.
Is she supporting the oppressive regime against Palestine?
Like, what are you fucking doing?
It's self-serving for sure.
But people love that.
Who?
People deep down loves that.
Son, that's Trump.
No.
Trump is mad self-serving.
Every comment is, I'm the best.
I do it the best.
Every politician is self-serving.
No, no, no.
What we love about Trump is not that.
What we love about Trump, regardless if you like or hate his politics, what we love about Trump is humor.
He is funny.
And he is undeniably.
Whatever he says, he owns it.
He's unapologetic.
It's the same reason why 6ix9ine is going to come back completely unscathed.
Oh, my God.
I disagree with that.
100%.
I was going to stop.
He's already doing his comeback, by the way.
6ix9ine.
Did you see he was on Tori Lane's live?
No.
And he goes, yo, let me play my new shit right now.
I'm going to snitch on you.
He's funny.
He is funny.
I think he'll get got just as a son.
You're on the wrong side, bro.
Say that.
You're on the wrong side with 6ix9ine, man.
Why?
Because he's a snitch.
I think that's.
You're acting like I care.
It's not about sides.
I'm just telling you what's going to happen in my opinion.
What I believe is people care more about humor than they care about policy.
Trump's policies are abhorrent to a lot of people, but he's so funny that people cannot stop watching him.
I don't find AOC funny.
She's never made me laugh once.
George Bush was funny.
Barack Obama was funny.
AOC is not funny to me.
She's an attractive woman.
For a politician, she might be the most attractive woman.
If she was ugly, people would be saying, shut your fat ass up.
I literally think the only reason we listen to AOC is because she's attractive and her politics align with people.
I literally think the only thing, I don't think there's anything to her outside of being attractive.
Every time I said she was a star, we listened to Kim Kardashian and her opinions on black people in jail.
I mean, because she got some mouths.
Say what?
Because she got a few of them out.
You know how many people have gotten black people out of jail?
But this bitch got a fatty.
So all of a sudden, we're like, no, you got a good point.
Yo, you're right.
But that's my point.
She's cute.
Every time I say she's a star, I say she's cute.
That's one of the first things I name, if not the first.
You never mad at one time.
I said cute.
You didn't say that one time.
No, you didn't say that one time.
Listen to this shit.
Listen to this.
You want to say cute one?
You didn't say cute that one time.
You see him trying to copyright shit.
Every time I say it, this is the shit.
I said she's cute.
I thought you were going out your way to nature.
I don't see it.
No, she didn't.
She didn't say one time that she said that.
She's cute multiple times.
I can't wait to read the it factor.
Yeah.
You're really talking like some wine stars.
I said she was cute.
Yo, I can't wait to see the comments.
Run that shit back off.
Oh, you go see these comments.
I can't wait, yo.
Listen, you didn't say it one time.
You said that she had an it factor.
You said she's good at talking, and then you said she's well-spoken.
She's cute.
She's not.
100% said she came.
Never said she's cute.
100%.
Not even once.
She said she's cute.
She's cute.
No, no.
I know.
That's what we care about.
That's all we care about.
Not all.
You know that.
That's not all.
You want to backtrack and say no.
That's not all.
I agree with you.
If she's not cute, none of it matters.
Let's say hypothetically saying you didn't say that.
What do you mean?
Hypothetically speaking, you didn't say any of that.
Let's just say that.
Hypothetically speaking, you didn't say that.
And all you said was what you said, which is she has an it factor.
Yeah.
Right?
The it factor, if she's not cute, isn't it?
Why do you think I would disagree with you and then say that she's hot?
And that's the only reason why people care.
Because you're disagreeing with me saying she is well-spoken.
She is intelligent.
She is whatever.
No, but I agree with you.
That won't matter if she's ugly.
Yeah.
But she's not ugly.
So that's why I think she's a star.
Because she's cute and got the other shit.
If she's just some cute, vapid bitch, all right, we're not voting for Kim Kardashian.
I think we could in probably like 12 years, but we're not going to vote for just a cute bitch.
But she's cute and got the other shit.
That's why I think she's a star.
I don't know her policies.
That's it.
That's why I think she got a shot.
I'll say the comments.
We'll see.
We'll see the comments.
And then if it is true that you didn't say she's cute, not even once, you probably didn't even talk about her looks at all.
Would you like to apologize?
I'll apologize in the next episode.
And when we find out that she is cute, when we find out she is cute, you're going to apologize.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Okay.
No, no.
No, for no shults apology.
It's bullshit.
Absolutely.
I'll apologize.
You almost started sounding like AOC.
If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, dog.
If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
You're going to apologize, right?
How you're going to say a shot apology is going to be, I'm sorry that you said that shit like a meek little bitch.
Yes.
It's going to be the Schultz apology.
No, sandwich and shots, bro.
I'm just telling you, dog.
Already losing confidence.
What was the other thing?
I got a question.
What?
Doesn't every female political commentator or politician have to be attractive?
Yes.
It's their funny.
Like, isn't that a non-star thing?
Yo, no.
Men have to.
Let me say this.
In life, men have to be charismatic.
Women have to be attractive.
Okay?
There is no amount of charisma that can make up for an ugly woman.
No.
Name it.
Name it.
Wendy Williams.
Who?
Wendy Williams.
What about her?
The one that gives the fries and the frosties and the spicy chicken sandwich?
What?
This red-headed lady at the restaurants, yo.
Wait, are we just talking politics?
Are we talking just like we're talking about?
You're describing to Wendy's girl, man.
That's not the same person.
Here's the thing about Wendy Williams.
She is not ugly.
Come on.
Atrocious.
In her face.
Atrocious.
Just look at her face.
She's not ugly.
She's hideous.
How did she make her bones?
This is very important.
What medium did she come out in?
Gossip radio.
Say that again.
Gossip radio.
Say the last word.
Oh, radio.
Okay.
So, all right.
She becomes famous and wins over the hearts of the people without anybody seeing what she looks like.
Now that she has this legion of people who are so connected with her through the most powerful medium of communication, in my opinion, which is radio, because you're with people for so many hours a week, right?
They're spending 10 hours a week with her.
Okay, fine.
She's ugly.
Blah, blah, blah.
Not only that, you're their only solace before the worst part of their day.
And probably, even on the way home, I'm sitting in fucking traffic.
Oh, I got to do all this shit when I get home.
This time, this saves me from that.
This is my sanctuary.
Thank you, Hillary.
Say again?
Hillary Clinton.
Everybody liked that bitch.
That's why she lost the election.
Lost.
How you lose to Trump, bitch?
She lost to Trump, dog.
Trump is going to win it.
They don't exist if they're not.
Yeah, no, no, I know that.
We are shallow.
We're shallow as people, here's the thing.
We're shallow as people.
We're very shallow as people.
I want, especially women listening to understand this.
We're equally shallow to men as we are to women.
Just what we're shallow about changes.
Your shallowness is dependent on your value, right?
So a man doesn't have to be attractive because that's not required by women, right?
We have to be charismatic.
We have to be powerful.
We have to be strong.
We have to be successful.
But we don't have to be beautiful.
Women don't value that as much.
And with women, men value beauty.
And because of that, women value beauty.
So if a woman is going to be president or is going to be successful, whatever, she has to be beautiful and have the other things is what you were later saying about.
And for men, it's flipped.
It's what I said initially.
And for men, it's flipped.
You got to have the other shit.
Like, if you're good looking, that's great.
But the other, the charisma is the number one.
You have to be charismatic.
If you're good looking, John F. Kennedy.
Whoa, that's awesome that you're good looking.
But there's been a lot of ugly motherfucking presidents.
Oh, yeah.
Abe Lincoln had a fucking wart growing off the side of his head.
He grew a beard.
That's probably it.
Was it really?
So there he is.
He's got his hat on.
Yo, you're right.
Abe's.
He's covering his whole fucking face.
His face is possible.
That motherfucker's like, he'll sell you diamonds on 38th and 5th.
All right, Abraham.
Okay, my man.
Yeah.
That's why he had to put honest because he looked like he was going to rip your ass off.
Honest, trust me.
I'm an honest look.
He just gets home from a hard day.
President and untucks the curls.
Under the top hat as a little Yamaka.
Dude, that's why he has a top hat because the curls would go in that shit.
All right.
But speaking on beauty standards, we have down poverty beauty standards.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
And I want to get to this.
I want to get to this.
But just to clarify real quick, that's what we're saying about the looks thing.
Yeah.
Looks are valuable.
And if you overlook that, you're just not being honest with what will win an election.
George Bush was fucking charismatic, dude.
The guy had an easiness about him.
He would laugh at himself, and it was endearing.
It was fucking endearing.
It was.
Yeah.
George Bush is great.
You look back and you're like, oh, we hated this guy.
What the fuck?
What were we thinking?
I would love him back.
And to be honest, he didn't hate Bush realistically.
The policies you hated were Cheney's policies, Rumsfeld's policies.
Bush was just a guy that was up there.
He's a puppet.
He didn't know what was going on.
They're all fucking puppets.
Biden's a puppet.
If Bush had better puppeteers, we would love that motherfucker.
Yeah.
And you know what?
People did love him.
The right-wing families love, Republicans love Bush.
To this day, love Bush.
And what they do is they value the things that he provided and then ignore the things he did.
So they'll say things like, you know, after 9-11, he made sure we were safe and there wasn't another attack on U.S. soil, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They just, you know, make up their little shit.
And then the Dems will obviously go, oh, what about these pointless wars?
And yada, yeah.
Doesn't fucking matter.
That's why AOC is a chance.
And again, to your point, Coco, what's her name, Coco?
Owens, Candace.
Oh, dead.
Coke.
Whatever fucking name is.
Sanders Owens, Tommy Larin, all these girls.
Yeah, these girls.
Not Coco Puff.
I thought you're talking about the Disney movie.
What was the name for her at home?
Coco.
What was the bitch that ran for vice president with Robot Arms?
Sarah Palin.
Yeah, yeah, with Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin, right?
What is his name?
McCain.
John McCain, R.I.P. Right?
Sarah.
War Heroio.
Say what?
War Hero.
I'm not taking away from Warrior.
He has some sock and boppums.
Right?
Wasn't he sock and boppums in there?
If you had to have a sock and bopum tournament and he was in it, you don't think that he would be somewhat successful.
You think if he saw like a Korean, he'll just get activated.
And he was just ready.
Son, he was ready at any point in time.
That's at PTSD.
Anybody said fucking chicken bimbop.
Okay.
So yes, it does play a factor.
The Democrats are probably not stupid.
They know that.
Okay.
And they're like, okay, we need some pretty bitches to run this shit.
Yeah.
Simple as that.
We need some pretty, I need some nice.
And I think Palin might have won him the election if she didn't turn out to be a fucking idiot.
What happened with that?
Something weird happened.
She just knew nothing.
Like, she knew nothing.
Apparently, she started falling apart because it was all this pressure.
She wasn't ready to be vice president.
She was just a cute girl who had Republican values.
So McCain was like, we need to do something.
Let's try this girl.
He took a big risk and it failed.
But if she knew her shit, yo, he might have won that election and she would have been next in line.
She's like, let's go.
You cannot have a successful political career as a woman unless they can make a porn star version of you.
What?
Pancakes and Gay Vibes00:15:04
No, I see what he's going with it.
Lisa Ann?
Lisa Ann is famous because of Sarah Palin.
Yes.
All right.
You know, there's some bitches that look just like Kim Kardashian.
There's some chick that looked just like Megan Kelly.
There's some chick that looked just like whatever.
But if you aren't porn star a bull, forget it.
What about Elizabeth Ward?
I haven't seen that porn yet.
Exactly.
That's why this bitch is never going to be president.
You can only be so successful without it.
You can't be president without that.
It's so stupid.
Son, Nalen Palin.
Nailen Palin.
What?
I just can't get the stupidity enough.
What do you mean?
It makes sense.
You don't think they got AOC porn?
I guarantee you they got AOC porn.
Yeah, but none of these bitches won.
Say again.
None of them won.
None of them became president.
They got an AOC porn.
They do have an AOC.
Of course they got AOC porn.
Markman being onto that shit.
He said that she like he was getting ready to jerk off.
You get the exhale.
They got it, dog.
Let me see that.
Let me see.
Low-key, I kind of want to see it.
She's going for it.
What is she talking about?
There won't be any Amazon delivery over here.
She's got something else I'd love to deliver.
She's talking about a new green deal.
All right.
We went too far.
We went too long.
We got to stop soon.
We've had a passionate one today.
It's been a passionate one today.
I just felt let down by Bernie.
Yo.
Do you want to do black topics?
We could also talk about Devontae Davis reenacting.
It was really great.
I just wonder how.
Check out Tredavius White and LaShawn McCoy, two football players, talking about a guy we talked about on the podcast when he just quit at halftime.
Where he just quit on the sidelines.
They ran a player who quit at halftime.
He just retired.
Just retired.
Like during the game.
Not even.
He was supposed to go in.
He was just like, nah, I'm done.
Yeah.
I'm not going back in.
And then at halftime, he was like, I'm retired.
And they reenact it.
It's very funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not going to be doing this anymore, but y'all keep supporting the Colts, guys.
They're doing a good thing.
You know what I mean?
They're doing really good.
What was he playing for?
The Bills, right?
Bills, maybe.
I don't know.
Whoever it was.
All right, black Twitter.
Alex, what's popping up?
Yo, this was a really funny conversation on black Twitter that Alex brought to us.
Okay.
This was apparently black Twitter was debating whether or not a guy should order dessert on a first date.
Or appetizers.
I read this thread actually from the girl.
No dessert, no appetizers.
She said, I would literally rather he order two meals for himself than get dessert or appetizers.
Why?
This is women that were upset at this?
It was a woman's initial tweet, and she was like, I just don't know why a man would order dessert.
That's for me.
Dessert and appetizers is some shit a woman gets.
You as a man, you eat meals.
It's so funny.
Hey, yo.
Yo, it's so funny how puzzled the two white guys in the room are.
It makes a little sense, though, right?
Don't it make a little bit of sense?
It's for some reason to me.
It makes a lot of sense.
You got to really respect black men that they are so fucking next level at pimping women that they convince women to make the bill less.
Right?
Like you eliminated appetizers and dessert from a potential date menu.
Yeah, but we didn't convince them.
They came up with a damn thing.
And I think she's how they came up with that by themselves.
But I think she says I can order it.
What's the next thing she's going to tweet about?
A real man would cheat on his girl.
A real man go get some pussy outside the relationship.
That's what a real man would do.
No, but no, but they basically just say it's not masculine if a man orders dessert.
That's what it all boils up.
What the fuck does dessert got to do with masculinity?
Time makes sense, though.
Time makes sense.
Why?
Yo, why you need something sweet, son?
You a little sweet?
Yeah.
A little sweet.
You little dainty food eating ass bitch.
What you need?
A soup?
That's your blood on your soup before you eat it?
Let me get out of here.
The finest people on this podcast.
Indians by far the worst bodies on the planet.
We're not masculine.
That's what I'm telling you.
I can't handle no black bitch.
Hey, that was a hard bitch on our son.
Yo.
That was a hard bitch on our side.
Jesus.
Beautiful, beloved.
Sometimes belligerent.
Black bitch.
There we go.
Now that's good.
Oh, wait a minute.
This could be genius.
This could be black women trying to get black men to stop dying from heart failure and hypertension and all these things.
Yo, that might be genius.
Yo, black women, y'all are really fucking.
And the genius line is: I'd rather you order two meals because ain't nobody going to order two meals.
That's where you're like, this is wild.
I'm not spending another $20 on more endless shrimp.
You know what I mean?
It's just the endless shrimp.
We're good.
That's a genius.
Hey, shout out to black women always holding down black men, man.
They really found a way.
Or maybe they just hate black lives.
Maybe they just want to keep all the Cheddar Bay biscuits for themselves.
You know what I mean?
Cheddar Bay son.
Hold on.
I want to go back.
Just dessert free.
Is gay?
Is that what you guys are saying right now?
She's saying it.
And I'll be ordering dessert.
And it's kind of gay now that I think about it.
All right.
I'm not going to say it.
They gave you the smallest.
No, no, This bitch got on to something, yo.
All right.
Certain desserts, if you order a milkshake and it got the whipped cream on top and you eat the whipped cream like this, you know, you just suck, you just suck the whipped cream.
The whipped cream, the only way you can eat that straight is you drink the whole milkshake and then it's at the bottom and you scoop it out with a spoon.
Don't be going like this at the top of it and sucking loads of whipped cream into your fucking cheeks.
Now that's just a little gay.
That'd be me all day.
It'll be on my nose all that.
No, Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Now, but the act of eating dessert, what about a masculine dessert, an apple pie with ice cream, an apple pie a la mode?
It's a little gay.
You can't say a la mode.
You can't say a la mode.
You gotta be like, yo, let me get an apple pie.
Let me get a scuba ice cream with that bitch.
And you know what I'm thinking about?
You guys have that a la mode.
A la mode?
What man would say?
You gotta say that like this.
Can I have that a la mode?
The back of your hand gotta touch your hip when you say a la mode.
Be a whole teapot.
Hey, excuse me, Kyle.
Excuse me, Latrice.
Excuse me, Latrice.
Can I have that a la mode?
Thank you.
And then after your first bite, you gotta be like, oh, this is delicious.
Oh, when you take the first bite, roll your eyes.
Okay.
All right.
But what about if you just go straight, straight Sunday?
That's a little gay, yo.
I'm not ordering no banana splits.
Yeah, but then they like drizzle the chocolate on the side and shit like that.
That's what they do in the kitchen, bro.
You're just eating it.
Yeah, but then to eat it, you have to like what if you just got some ice cream and a little chocolate with the spoon.
So you have to like strategically put the spoon in.
It's all everything.
That's not straight apple pie or like a straight like cookie or brownie.
No ice cream, nothing, nothing creamy.
I think creaminess is very gay.
Yo, what if you do this?
Yo, creamy dance to it.
What if you go like this?
What if you take a bite of the brownie, but it's too hot, so you got to go, hop up, hop up, hop up, that shit gay, son.
You can't even handle food.
Can I have a glass of milk?
If you ever ask for a glass of milk, your fucking brownie son, end the date, babe.
You know what?
That's hilarious.
This is Andrew every day with his coffee.
He's like, oh, it's a little too hot.
It is a little too hot.
He puts it in the freezer.
I got an ice cube.
I got an ice cube in mind.
Can I tell you something else?
I'm going to make a little confession.
When we would do comedy coming up, we will always go to a diner afterward for Selka.
And I can't tell you how many times we split dessert.
Me?
Andrew, sometimes other dudes.
That's why you don't call it split dessert.
When his dudes eat dessert, you go, Should we get a dessert for the table?
You can't say in front of a waiter, yo, you want to split dessert?
Yeah, me and him are going to split dessert.
Two spoons.
You can't say that shit, bro.
Hey, we don't even need two spoons.
Nah, come on, son.
We eat it with our fish.
You ain't used two spoons.
You fucking tongue-kissing.
Yo.
You see?
You see why it's not.
I'm trying to think what dessert is not, what dessert you could eat.
That's the least gay.
You just can't.
Not on the first date.
But appetizers you could get, babe.
And then another thing I was saying.
Yo, appetizers?
Wait.
A little hummus and pita.
That wasn't that big of a deep.
Actually, no key, son.
The appetizers wasn't that big of a deal because actually it's a flex.
It's like, oh, shit, you got money because you will only get some apps and you know we're ordering.
Alex sweating just talking about food.
Isn't this crazy?
You know, this is a real topic right here, bro.
Appetizers is funny because it's not gay at all, but it's like kind of gay.
Now that I thought about it, son.
You can't eat hummus not gay.
Nah, you could.
Nah, not like that.
That's how you could eat it with the chips.
You could just like go on, son, like this.
You could take a little pizza?
Yeah.
Carol Pizza.
This is too much, Peter, for one bite.
I don't want that many carbs.
Come on, bro.
Son, why do you think gays being gay is so illegal in the Middle East?
Because that shit eating that fucking hummus, bro.
Even now, I'm as well turned you, bro.
That shit might turn you, dude.
You and four of your boys eating hummus together.
You both go in for a swipe and your fucking fingers touch.
Yo, you start the wrist like this, and all of a sudden that shit.
Oh, come on, dog.
Come on, dude.
But another thing that I don't know where no, but another thing that this came from nowhere: cheesecake.
All of a sudden, cheesecake is the worst dessert ever made.
Why?
I don't know.
Gay?
This is black Twitter.
It's like, if you order cheesecake, you're a disgusting human being.
Yeah, because y'all can't even have milk and shit.
You're all lactose and shit like that.
It's just not a good, it's not a good idea.
Cheesecake is delicious.
Yo, that's fucking up because y'all, Juniors is, that's some shit.
That's like Brooklyn black people's shit.
I thought Juniors was owned by Italians.
But in your, it's like a Brooklyn thing.
Right.
Yo, Juniors, that's what you're saying.
Jesus is owned by Italians.
Probably.
Ain't none of this shit owned by black people.
I really thought it was a black establishment.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Maybe it is.
Because it was in the heart of downtown before downtown was downtown.
That's probably Jewish.
I ain't giving a fuck.
Okay, any other appetizer that you could order?
What if you order a shrimp scampy?
Oh, no, what if you not order a shrimp scampy?
What is it called?
A shrimp cocktail.
Cocktail, yo?
Yeah, come on, son.
Come on.
Come on, yo.
Lettuce wraps at P.F. Changs.
Gay?
You order those with your bros, son.
Buffalo wood.
Oh, you can do Buffalo.
Nah, you can do Buffalo.
Nah.
That's chicken.
It's all over your fucking mouth.
Ain't it funny how suddenly you bring up fried chicken.
It's not gay.
Come on, son.
Ain't that sound?
Nah, fried chicken.
Gay.
Nah, there's no doubt.
You can't tell the difference between a girl sucking dick and porn and a guy eating fried chicken.
The sound.
What?
The sound?
Yo.
Black guys get as into the Popeye's chicken sandwich as any porn star does a dick.
Facts.
Take that shit right to the face.
Facts.
Stop.
You don't have chicken sandwiches.
It's so big.
Chicken sandwich was.
I just love the sauce.
Oh.
All right.
Wow.
Appetizers love gay, son.
We learn something every day, bro.
So you can't order apps or dessert.
I'm a pizza.
Okay.
All right.
Can I ask a question?
Yeah.
And I've felt very strongly about this.
I really had.
Yo.
Salted rim drinks?
Gay.
That seems a little gay.
I don't drink, but that seems gay.
Fam, how are you going to do this?
Son, that shit is wild.
Just watch it.
You do that.
Let me look at the people at home, right?
Hey, just ask me if I like my Picante.
Yo, how do you like your Picante?
Let me try it.
That's not weird.
Why would you make me do that physical act?
Are you actually supposed to lick the salt?
How are you supposed to get in your goddamn shit?
I thought it was difficult.
Oh, he'll drink.
He'll drink.
I know, right?
I thought it was like an umbrella.
You know what I mean?
That shit is just there for you.
Nah, you're supposed to lick it and then take a sip every single time.
That's wild, yo.
Son, they're fucking tricking us.
Why is this because it's got tequila in it or something?
Yeah, the salt, I guess, goes well with tequila.
But yo, even that tequila shot, I never felt comfortable doing that with the homies.
She just pour that shit in the drink, yo.
Why do we need salt?
It'll change the flavor that much.
I never do the salt shit, and now I don't even do the lime shit.
I look at you a certain way.
If you're a dude that needs a lime app, spice the lime?
Yeah.
Son, just take that shot like a man, son.
Sometimes that shot would be too.
Sometimes I take that shot like a man, son.
Yo, yo, out.
Not to make this more gay, but I can't fit the whole thing in my mouth.
What other gay shit?
Guacamole gay?
Is Guac gay?
Yeah, yo.
Come on, bro.
It's gay, yo.
Nah, son.
Make it at a table.
Yeah, I mean, that's it.
I don't know.
You know what's mad gay, though?
True rose, bro.
Oh, yo, that's the dessert that's gay.
Son, true rose, bro?
This is why it's gay.
Because the true rose, they're covering that brown sugar shit.
So, not only are you dipping it in some liquid and then eating this fucking dick-like substance, after the churros, what do you always do?
You write about it.
You're right.
You're right about it.
Son, you can't do that.
Oh, yeah, you can't.
Anything involving honey kind of gay?
It's mad sticky.
You know what I mean?
You get all over your face.
Yo, are pancakes gay?
Nah, bah.
It seems kind of it's Al can it's kind of masculine.
You know what I mean?
It's hungry Jack.
Yeah.
This might be the straightest because it's just like a fat ass that you just break it into.
Just bite.
Yak.
You know what I mean?
But you gotta, you gotta eat the full stack.
You can't individual, like, one at a time.
But portion control is gay.
Nah, I understand what he's saying.
You got to knife through all three.
So if it's three pancakes, you got to knife through all three.
You can't separate them into three different saucers that are on the plate.
Right, right.
You can eat them individually.
That shit is wild gay.
That shit is.
Wild gay.
Sucking with Enthusiasm00:07:09
Yeah, yeah.
That's super gay.
But that's why it's not dessert.
Why it's not why?
Because it's not gay.
Oh.
Oh, yo, pancake ain't on a dessert menu.
That's right.
You don't ever see pancake on a dessert menu.
It should be dessert, right?
Crepes?
Crepes are gay, dog.
That's gay pancakes.
That's gay.
Definitionally gay pancakes.
That is good.
Real chunk.
Like I said.
They call that shit mancakes.
That's how you know it's gay, dog.
Anything from Canada?
Gay.
Real.
Son, syrup comes out the wood.
It's like crazy.
It is.
It's syrup.
Fucking Mark.
Anything from Canada.
Yo, he said that whole shit up 45 seconds ago.
I don't know.
He wanted it all.
He wanted it all.
Okay, okay, hold on.
Let's think.
Okay.
All right.
Go.
Go.
Let's say you have a freaky Friday situation with a guy and a girl.
Describe Freaky Friday.
So two people switch bodies.
You got to describe it, so I don't think they can hear.
They can if you speak loud.
All right, so Freaky Friday situation.
A guy and a girl switch bodies.
Yeah.
You are now in a girl's body.
Yeah, and you suck your own dick.
Is that gay?
Hell yeah.
We're just talking about food being gay.
This is why I say anything from Canada.
Son, it was a soft, fun conversation.
It was silly.
And then you just made it real gay.
Yes.
Why?
Bringing that up is gay.
Yes.
Say what, son?
Is sucking your own dick gay?
Oh, man.
This is like a 20-minute conversation.
No, no, We're not going to have this conversation right now.
This is not going to be.
This is for Patreon.
Okay.
We're getting back to foods that are gay.
Okay.
In all seriousness.
In all seriousness.
Okay.
Is melon gay?
Ooh, fruits.
I have no problem saying it is because I don't like melon.
So get it out here.
Is it cut?
Pineapple, probably the gayest, though.
I love pineapple up there.
I love pineapple, but that shit gay, yo.
It's mad gay.
Get out the roof.
You can't get pineapple out of here.
That's not fair, dog.
Pineapple gay.
That's like the best fruit, huh?
I know, it's the best, but it's gay.
It just is.
Nah, but you don't have any points for it.
Like, listen, we're not just being homophobic here.
We need facts to back up our arguments, okay?
Oh, God.
Son, it's just too fruity.
You know what I mean?
It's mad tropical.
You got blowjobs from it, though.
Huh?
You get blowjobs.
Why?
Makes your cum taste better, which is kind of straight.
That's the gayest, yo.
No, that's the straightest part of it, because it gets your dick sucked more by girls afterwards.
By dudes, guys don't care what your cum tastes like, they just can't wait to suck it out of your dickhole.
You think some guy who's been waiting on the other side of a glory hole for fucking an hour for a dick to pop through so he could suck it is worried about the flavor to come.
Do you think a girl is going to be convinced that I ate pineapple?
My cum will taste good, or do you think a gay guy is going to be like, Yeah, great, let's go?
I don't think gay guys care about the taste to come.
I think they're just too excited to get it.
It's almost like caviar.
Sound pineapples and berries, a little gay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Berries and dogs.
That shit is berries, dog.
Yo, I'm starting to think that you're homophobic.
I really am wild.
What are they putting special K?
Say what?
Woman's ass cereal.
Special K. What are they putting that?
Red berries.
Berries.
Yeah.
That's a little gay.
Special K is not even gay.
Come on, yo.
Come on, yo.
Special K?
I don't know.
Come on.
That shit is special.
You're going to eat some cornflakes.
That shit is special.
You're going to get a special one.
Special K.
It's not fucking cornflakes, son.
It really is.
No, it's not.
It's retarded cornflakes.
That's what it is.
That's why they call it special.
Nah, that shit is corn flakes, but that's a little sweet.
Nah, nah, nah.
I'm not going to let you talk about it.
Dude, cornflakes got a fucking cock on the box.
Cornflakes, yeah.
Yeah, that shit is manly, yo.
No, what does a rooster have to do with corn?
Son, Jimmy cracked corn at the crack of the dawn.
You know what I mean?
And I don't care.
This podcast is going off the rails.
Okay.
Okay, we're done.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
Listen, I got to do a huge shout out to my guys over at Raddix, man.
Radics have been coming through.
You know, it's been a very anxious time for a lot of people.
They're still out there supplying that CBD, making sure people are calm, comfortable, cool, got something to chill out and smoke with the lady.
I know Akash was smoking with the lady a little bit.
You hit that Radix.
Took that down.
Yeah.
Took that down.
Did you do it just as high this time?
Not as high because we did two back-to-back when the first time.
We did it ourselves.
Yeah, we did one.
Felt great.
Went to sleep.
I think it was even better, though.
That gummy?
Yeah, that's good.
You told me about it.
Oh, yo, take the gummy.
Be in a dark room after.
Just kind of relax.
You will pass the fuck out.
The melatonin one.
I slept 11 hours on that.
Yeah, be careful with that shit, but it is amazing.
It is amazing, it is amazing.
Yeah, so Raddix has been dope, man.
They obviously have all the great CBD products that they've been supplying before the pandemic.
But you can get the joints that they, the pre-rolls, as they call them.
You can actually get the flour itself.
It literally looks like weed.
So if you like rolling joints yourself, you're like mixing a little in with your tobacco.
Let's say you roll your own cigarettes, mix a little CBD in there, man.
Calm yourself down.
But they also have all these other products that you can use.
They have the tincture, as it's called.
They have the drops.
They have the gummies.
Everything you could possibly imagine.
Go do it.
They have Neuroroot.
If you need to be focusing a little bit better, you need to be a little bit more sharper.
Have that brain function at the peak ability that is possible.
Make sure you get that Neuroroot.
But they also do something really cool that I thought was great and I wanted to support, which is they are creating hand sanitizer.
Okay.
The machines that make CBD are quite similar to the machines that make hand sanitizer, apparently.
So what they're doing is making hand sanitizer.
You can buy a bottle.
And for every bottle you buy, they will donate a bottle themselves to healthcare people in need.
So you are helping the people on the front line and you are making sure that you are clean at home.
Go do that.
Go support the people that need it.
Support Raddix.
That's radixremedies.com.
And as always, you get that discount.
You get 10% discount for your entire order.
If you go to raddixremedies.com/slash flagrant.
That's R-A-D-I-X Remedies, R-E-M-E-D-I-E-S dot com slash flagrant.
So go check out the boys out there.
And if you're in Austin, I don't know if their factory is open or if their store is open, but if it is, go say what up to them because they're always welcoming to the asshole army brethren.
Go out there, keep it tight, and smoke one down for us.
Support Raddix Remedies00:02:54
All right, let's get back to the show.
Okay, guys, I think we need to end this podcast before shit gets too crazy.
Is there anything else?
Anything else you want to talk about, Akash?
Well, do you guys care about Ja Roll challenging 50 Cent to an IG battle?
No, I don't care.
Oh, shouts to Reggie Conquest, our boy Reggie.
Yeah, Reggie was in a.
TSA Bay is our homie, dog.
That's like.
Who's TSA Bay?
TSA Bay.
Season 4, Insecure, the Premiere.
He's so fucking funny.
Philly comic.
We're cool with the Philly gangs, six foot-nothing gang.
But Reggie Conquest is one of the comics.
Good dude.
It's so funny to see him on Insecure, and he's hilarious on it.
I was actually really losing interest in the show.
And then this season, I think this guy might bring me back into being like.
He's on Insecure, and he has a fuck scene with Issa.
Yeah, he fucks Issa, yo.
Opening scene.
Opening scene.
Yo, multiple positions, dog.
Multiple positions.
I saw that in Twitter clip.
You see naked ass Reggie, yo.
Yeah, with his gun hanging out.
Just cracking that thing from the back.
So funny, dog.
You know what I mean?
Let's go.
Yo, shouts to Reg, dog.
He's so enthusiastic seeing your friend gay.
I mean, seeing your friend naked?
What?
Sorry.
I'm still gay right now.
You've been thinking about him in a homosexual way.
You want to treat him like a churro.
Suck that thing up.
All right, we got to do it.
You know what I mean?
I wrap this up.
All right.
Last question.
Oh, man.
No, being serious.
I'm sure we are.
Okay.
Appetizers, pretty much gay.
Dessert, pretty much gay.
Yeah.
Some fruits, gay.
Some fruits not gay.
Pancakes, definitely not gay, depending on how you eat it.
Right.
Right?
Sucking a guy's dick.
Literally, listen, listen.
Listen.
Sucking a guy's dick is your colleague.
He's not your friend.
Yo, stop.
He's your colleague.
Guys, this has been an episode.
He's your colleague.
Are you getting a promotion out of it?
No.
You don't even work with him directly.
Didn't eat a lot of pineapple.
His dick might not taste good.
Is sucking a guy's dick gay?
What do you, are you?
Is it like churros after?
Are you.
That's the only thing that makes it gay, in my opinion.
Is what you do after you suck.
If you suck it begrudgingly, then you may be just in prison.
It's not gay.
But if you suck it with enthusiasm, that's gay.
Well, we got to the bottom of it, guys.
Sucking dick in prison is actually interesting.
Is that gay or not?
We'll save it for the Patreon.
All right.
This has been another episode of Philagrant 2.
If you're still listening to this podcast, God bless you.
We went off the rails several times.
We appreciate you.
We love you.
We will see you on the Patreon, Patreon, this Friday, patreon.com slash Flagrant2.