Kevin Marcus Jr. and Al tackle global quarantine restrictions in England, criticizing impractical gathering limits while sharing anecdotes about scooter rides and 37th-floor stair sprints to avoid domestic tension. They pivot to health advice for "text neck," discuss the psychological strain of cabin fever, and debate aging versus plastic surgery, noting racial disparities in skin care. Promoting Netflix's "Tiger King," they conclude by urging listeners to try one new daily skill to combat isolation. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Red Table Cough Intro00:13:07
What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode of this unnamed show.
Today's episode is going to be coming from my man Kevin Marcus Jr.
That's the second.
The second gave us the name of our podcast today.
You know, we switch the podcast name or the show name, whatever this is.
We switch it every single day.
Today's episode is going to be Red Table Cough.
I thought that was good.
I like that.
Red Table Cough so far, that might be my favorite name.
Kung Flu Hustle was good too, but Red Table Cough, we're going to do it.
Okay, as you can tell, we got a little music going, but the music's trying to like, it's trying to play part to get with us.
The music's the only thing.
Okay, there we go.
So just vibe with us, man.
Turn up them speakers.
Turn your headphones up.
Turn your AirPods up, whatever it is.
Vibe with us.
We got this Corona.
If you've got the Rona in your system, if not, maybe you got some 1942 in your system.
That's what we're sipping on at Don Julio.
Shout to Don.
You think he died in 1942?
He was born in 1942.
I think he was born.
You think he was born?
That screen just went out.
Just want to let you know.
Screen just went dark on us.
Mark.
iPad.
You're so.
Let me tell you this, guys.
Let's start it up.
We got some conversation to make.
Let's get right into it.
The entire world is about to go into quarantine.
Okay?
So you better get your lo-fi hip-hop beats going because you're going to be doing a lot of this at the crib.
A lot of countries just gave warnings.
England, Colombia, South America, all out there saying three weeks in the crib.
They say do not leave the crib.
South Africa.
South Africa is what I meant.
Not South America, but Colombia is in South America.
Maybe that's why it made it happen.
I'm not going to lie.
The beat makes you kind of talk on beats.
This might really affect the flow of the podcast.
I might just start delivering barks.
Hit him with it.
Knees weak.
Arms is heavy.
The Rona's in my system already.
Threw up my spaghetti.
Psych, my girl can't cook.
We've been ordering in.
$500 at Whole Foods, and you still ordering out?
Son of Arugula is out the window, bro.
We not playing games, and we back.
So here's the thing, man.
England out there giving real strict rules, man.
You heard these rules, Al?
No, I haven't.
They said real strict rules.
You guys at home heard the rules?
They say you better not go outside.
You know, you're only limited to one outside exercise per day.
How often do you think we exercise, England?
Have you seen your population?
Do they look like they're out there training for marathons during Corona?
English people aren't in good shape.
We haven't seen English abs.
Anthony Joshua, a bum boxer, is one of the most famous people in all England simply because he looks good without a shirt on.
English people keep their shirts on because they know what time it is.
These are bar people, pub people.
They're not out there at the gym type people.
They're not out there doing cross fit.
They got a cross on their flag.
They still won't do it.
It's not part of the culture.
They said you can't hang out with more than two people or three people, Al.
Did you hear that?
I think it was three.
Three people.
That's what people are saying.
Who are you punishing?
My girl don't let me have more than two friends.
You think my girl let me go out and have bachelor parties every weekend.
Is that what you stopping, England?
You stopping bachelor parties every weekend?
What happened to our music, Al?
It's coming.
Oh, okay.
It just goes in and goes out.
I thought it was adjusting to my energy, man.
This is DJ.
All I'm trying to say is these rules and restrictions are absolute horseshit.
You can't say you got to stay inside no matter what.
You got to stay inside no matter what.
And then give me 10 reasons why I could go outside.
Oh, you can go outside and get groceries once a day.
I'm not an Italian grandmother.
I don't need to get fresh mozzarella and fresh tomatoes from the market every morning.
I order my shit delivery.
Who are these people that are still lining up at the grocery store?
It's available delivery everywhere, right?
No?
Everywhere, yeah, yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
Guys, you don't even gotta go to the grocery store.
Why are we putting these people at risk at the grocery store?
Let's just do all delivery, everything.
If you can get the restaurant to deliver to your crib, why can't you get the grocery store to deliver to your crib?
This is basic information, no?
Damn.
It should start that.
All the people out of work right now, they could be delivering from the grocery store.
Everybody, their new job should be delivering from the grocery store.
Every single person new job delivering from the grocery store.
Stay at home with your girl.
Go crazy like me and mine are.
We reached our limit this morning.
Yes.
Okay.
We reached our official limit.
Talk about it.
We need to put these beats in our apartment because this is way more soothing than what we were dealing with this morning.
She put on Queen.
I couldn't do it no more.
I couldn't do it no more, bro.
But I'm listening to you.
What happened?
What happened?
I'm listening to a gay ass singer from Queen sing about fat bottom girls.
Shut up.
You fraud.
You don't want no fat bottom girls, bro.
You want the fat dick dudes.
Swinging that dangle leg.
Dang a lang.
Dang a leg.
Dang a leg.
Bring out that dangle leg.
Dang a leg.
Dang a leg.
Bro, we really need to get some little, what's it called?
iPad where we could do the sound effects.
We're going to take it.
Swinging a dick.
Swinging a dick.
Talking about fat bottom girls.
Get out of here, bro.
What you do with a fat bottom girl?
Besides, learn how to put on some fucking eyeshadow.
That's the only thing you're stealing from them.
Excuse me, fat bottom girl.
How do you suck dick?
I want to get better at it.
This guy over here.
So she put on Queen.
I'm trying to get out the house.
I go, babe, this is how I knew that we reached our limit.
I go, babe, babe, where are my converse?
And this is what she says to me.
She goes, I told you last night where they were.
I told you last night where they were.
That's eight words.
That's eight words.
In the closet is three words.
You added five extra fucking words so I could feel like an idiot.
That's where we are in my relationship, bro.
You know, we got a good month to go.
At least.
Bro, they just said it's going to be till July.
In there till July.
I got to deal with this.
And my girl's smart because her apartment has the hotel windows, you know, the ones that don't open up all the way so I can't toss her ass out.
I could just throw her ass against the window and then she hits it and it falls back down.
That's the best I could do.
Lovingly.
Lovingly, of course.
Hey, babe.
How strong are those windows?
I got to act like I got to act like Tiger King, bro.
Got to answer for everything.
Have y'all, you see Tiger King yet?
Nah.
Well, I saw episode one and two, and it's like, I got a theory out there, but I'm going to save it for the first time.
You got to keep going.
Everybody at home, I saw you guys in the comments talking about you saw Tiger King.
Did I tell you?
Did I tell you?
I got to take.
Did I tell you?
Mark coming in here to get this, get this cam.
Mark.
Oh, you didn't think I knew that camera was there?
Oh, you didn't think I knew I liked it.
I like to.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm Millie over here.
Millie back to this one.
Millie over.
Millie back.
Hell, you saw me?
Bye!
Bye!
Hey, bye, Instagram live.
This will be up on YouTube.
Come kick it with us later.
YouTube.co.com/slash flagrant two.
Um, Al, were you keeping up with me with all my camera changes?
I missed a couple because you were just too smooth on me.
So, do you think you know that game that people were doing where they go like this and they go like that?
You have to look the opposite way.
No, it was a person versus another person.
You point in a direction, the camera, not the camera, the other person has to not put their head the direction you point.
Oh, so it was a game people were playing, right?
Okay, but do you think you could do that with this camera?
Oh, easy, but I only got to do it.
You know what I realized?
There was only two games.
Hey, hey, cut that!
Hey, cut that!
That's just quarantine logic, bro.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, don't worry, bro.
Don't mind yourself.
We're having a little cabin fever over here, guys.
Bro, it's son.
Nah, it's getting bad, dude.
And I'm being disrespectful, doing things I never used to do, bro.
Like, like what?
I was at, we got a delivery today, and uh, there's a knock on the door, and I said, The delivery boy is here.
Come on, bro.
I don't get it.
You can't be calling no grown-ass man boy.
It don't matter how short the Mexican.
Okay, a little Afrikaan American.
What?
I mean, what?
Is he African?
No, he was Mexican.
Oh, but you can't call him boy, bro.
Especially bad, though.
It's not a deadline.
No, no, you can't call a black person boy.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
That's if it was a black delivery guy, that would have been bad.
That'd be fucked up.
Mexican, it's like if he had, if he was young in the face, if he's young in the face, it's fine.
Maybe that's it.
But still, delivery boy, bust boy, bro.
It's like I biked here in the fucking rain, Al.
It was one of the most miserable experiences I've ever had in my entire life.
Son, I saw the bike sitting outside the studio.
I just started laughing.
It was so bad, Al.
I know he was so.
Can I tell you?
Can I tell you?
Yeah, what's up?
Here's the thing: Mark offered to give me a ride.
You didn't know about this.
Mark offered to give me a ride to the studio in a car.
It was raining outside, but my girl and I had just got in a fight over where my sneakers were.
Okay, so I'm trying to make a point.
I can't go.
I'm out of here.
And then Mark's like, I could pick you up in 45 minutes.
Now I just got to sit on a fucking couch like an idiot for 45 minutes.
My girl coming in, like, well, if you had all this time, you could probably look for your converse.
Why are you asking me, bothering me?
Okay.
So I was like, I'm going to make a point.
I take the bike.
I get the fuck out of there.
Motorcycle.
Ah, motorcycle.
Touching your face.
Stop touching your face.
Anyway, so boom.
I really sincerely hope I'm yeah, yeah.
I was butt-ass naked when he walked in.
I looked like a Boston Terrier.
I just had a sweatshirt on.
Oh, Mark came in.
He goes, Why are you dressed like Ariana Grande?
So, so we'll send a picture.
We'll put a picture somewhere.
So I basically was like, fucking, I'm out.
I get onto the bike.
I hit the rain.
My motorcycle or motorized scooter or motorized bicycle, whatever you want to call it, my motorcycle doesn't have any of those fenders that block the rain.
So the tire is just picking up water and throwing it into my face the entire half-hour ride here.
Yo, I told you.
Son.
I told you.
I hit one puddle and my face was covered in corona.
That's right.
Two days ago, I walked in here disheveled.
Like, I literally thought there was something wrong, bro.
I thought something bad happened.
I thought you lost a relative.
Like the way you looked at me.
And Al just goes, man, I got it.
I go, what happened?
He goes, I hit a puddle.
The whole puddle hit me in the face.
Went on my mouth.
I think I got the Rona.
Yep.
The whole rest of the ride, I didn't move a muscle on my face.
Even that tight?
I was just like, I wish they could suck.
I was just tight.
Yeah.
Hey, man.
You survived, bro.
Nah, it's getting rough, though.
It's getting rough at home.
It's getting a little rough.
It's a little crimp.
What happened?
What happened?
Al said he walked the stairs twice today.
Al lives on the 37th floor.
You gotta walk the stairs.
If you go down and come back up and you go, I'm not ready to go and suck.
I was like, I'm gonna do this set alone.
Little crap.
Son, son, go to the wide.
This is literally how we gotta fight at home now.
You know what, babe?
I'm working out.
Ain't no fucking room in the house to fight.
How do people used to fight?
Bro, how do these Nordic people do it?
How do people that gotta stay inside all year round?
These people who, when it's winter, it's dark 24 hours a day.
How do these Nordic people do it?
Maybe that's why they hate black people in Sweden because they're so angry at dark in general.
They're like, how dare you come in duty here during the summer?
Excuse me, stop bringing dark and coming in the summer.
Alexi.
Suck.
Alexey, with two exes.
So I had a lot of...
It's so weird.
I still have people asking me about Sweden.
Tell me what happened in the Sweden.
So they're like, yo, how was it in prison?
Nordic Darkness and Anger00:03:50
And I'm like, a lot like it is right now.
So you feel in prison?
Yes.
Like back in Sweden.
What?
Yeah, I'm feeding.
What?
On the vegan.
See, they don't even know Al got a vegan in the crib.
They don't even know, bruh.
Al eating straight vegetables.
She eating straight meat.
Bro, we really chilling out here, dog.
It's different.
It's different with the music.
Yo, we trying to smoke?
Dude, Mark trying to get high, bro.
Mark hasn't showered since December.
Hair sticky.
What?
Uh, so's his tummy.
Get the blicky.
All right.
All right, let's get back to it.
In all seriousness, man.
And I mean this sincerely.
I mean this 100% sincerely.
I figured out what I'm going to do during this quarantine.
Talk about it.
I want to see if everybody's down to do this as well.
How about we get rid of our fucking text neck?
Are you familiar with what text neck is, everybody at home?
Alex Media?
I have no idea.
So right now, since we're always walking around texting, right?
Yeah.
Our posture has actually shifted and our head has dropped forward.
Oh, yeah.
And our shoulders roll in.
That's been my posture since junior high school when I was chubby and had some titties.
So your titties were drawing you down?
Nah, it's like I wore a big shirt and if you lean forward, it doesn't show the points.
So my posture's been stuck like that ever since.
All right, well, we're going to fix your shitty ass posture.
So everybody at home and seriously, everybody at work.
So we're doing so much work on our laptops.
We're doing so much work curled over.
Like you see these retards at their offices.
They have like the standing desk.
They're like, I'm going to burn calories and work on reports.
I tried that for one day.
Nah.
Beat it.
Not going to happen.
Give me a comfy chair.
Okay.
But there are ways to battle it.
So I was talking to the owner of La Playa Pilates in Montecito, California.
And maybe he knows my girl.
You know what I'm saying?
God.
So we're supportive of it.
So link in the bio.
You know what I mean?
Why you trying to give me more problems?
I know, I know, I know.
My bad.
Yo, I remember when Mark was trying to give me problems at home?
Son.
We go on the fucking Instagram live for Corona's Got Talent.
Yo, pull up a joy.
So we call hot girls.
We call hot girls.
Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, Dude, if they're super hot, you get a lot of yo-yo-yo-yoin.
Oh, yeah.
Okay?
The hotter they are, the more yo-ying.
The more yo-yo-yo.
So, my girl's chilling here, and we're back there doing a Corona's Got Talent, and then Mark just goes, pull up a joint.
This fucking idiot.
It's wrong to say, because we're quarantined, Mark.
I look towards it.
I know, bro.
I know.
And then outside, I told him, I'm like, Mark, you know how you fucked up, right?
He's like, how?
And then he did his hand thing?
He did his stupid.
You know that little cat meme that's going around where the cat got his paws up like that or his fingers like that?
Little Dr. Seuss-ass motherfucker?
That's Mark.
Son, every time he...
Every time he knows he's lying, he's a dick.
What'd I do?
You know what you did, motherfucker.
He gonna learn one of these days.
Or we're gonna stein him.
Oh, I like that.
That slaps right there.
That's slap.
If you watch last year, you watch the last episode, you get it if not.
No.
Oh, oh, Al, you dropped some keys on him?
Daily New Thing Challenge00:08:16
Some keys are going right there?
Oh, yeah, that's me playing live.
Hey, but for real, here's a couple exercises we could all do.
I mean this 100% sincerely.
What I'm doing during this quarantine, I am getting rid of text neck because my posture has gotten horribly bad.
And here's number one thing we're gonna do, okay?
While sitting down, right?
We're just assuming our regular sitting posture.
I want you to put your hand like this, finger like that, on your lips and nose.
Come on, dude.
You can't tell them something to touch their face.
Nah, we're quarantined.
You could touch your face in quarantine.
And also, this works out really well because when you're telling your girl to shut the fuck up, you could also protect your neck and fix your neck, right?
So right when you're like, yo, shut the fuck up, then you work on this.
So this is how you do it, right?
You go like this.
Make sure it touches your lips and your nose.
That's difficult for me because my nose comes out so far there's actually space between my lips.
So do I have a witch chin and a big nose?
Anyway, ready?
So look, you go like this, right?
We're on the close-up?
Yeah.
Go on the side so you can see the little gap.
Do I have?
I'm showing him ready.
Fuck you, Al.
So then you go like this.
Go on the side.
You like this?
Keep your finger there.
Move your head back.
Now don't double chin it.
Just move your head straight back.
And it's a reminder of how far back your neck goes.
Don't double chin.
This is double chin.
Just move your neck back like that.
And it's a reminder of how far you lean forward.
So now you're at a more neutral position.
Other thing you could do, this is what we're going to do.
We're going to bring our arms straight up without lifting our shoulders.
Okay?
So the arms come straight up.
Mark, both arms.
I know you like to do one of them.
But both arms, Mark.
Both arms go up, right?
The second your shoulders start to lift, that's where you stop.
Okay?
So you go like that.
You see my shoulders start to lift?
I'm trying to bring them down.
That's too far.
And you do that five times a day.
This thing with your nose, every time you sit down, just remind yourself to do that.
Or if you're yelling at your girlfriend, you're telling her to be quiet.
Make sure you do that as well.
And then there's one more I got to do standing on the wall.
Can you get me on the wall?
Switch to the wide Al.
Honestly, we're going to come out of this with the best fucking posture.
It's not even a game.
Everybody, beautiful, elegant, super models walking down the street.
Those are the to survive.
Okay?
You know who has super bad posture?
Old people.
They're dying anyway.
Let's do this.
Oh my God.
Okay?
Last one.
Put your back on the wall.
Okay?
Back is to the wall.
Back is to the wall, but your feet put them eight inches away from the wall.
Al, do you know how much eight inches is?
I know nine.
Okay, about eight inches from the wall, okay?
Put your butt and back on the wall and put your head on the wall as well.
Right?
This is your neutral spine.
What I just did right there, that is your neutral spine.
That's how your back should be when everything's even.
You do that five times a day.
Just anytime you're going to the bathroom, your girl's in there, you're waiting.
You walk by another room.
Do that five to ten times a day, and it will remind you where your back is supposed to be when all the posture and everything is good.
How long do you hold it?
Um, 10 seconds.
Okay.
I just made that up, but uh, I'll have the right amount tomorrow.
But hold it for 10 seconds.
It's not that hard to hold, to be honest with you.
It's really not that hard, but it's just a reminder of where you should be.
Okay, gotcha.
We'll add another one tomorrow.
But those are three things that I'm going to start doing so I could work on my posture during this quarantine, man.
I can't come out of this quarantine looking crazy.
Imagine how much time we're spending on our phone.
Imagine how much time we're spending on our laptops, looking at Netflix, looking at Hulu, looking at YouTube, all this kind of stuff.
We're going to look like Neanderthals coming out of this.
We're going to devolve.
It's going to be going backwards, the evolutionary chart.
So we can't let that happen.
We're going to come out looking like elves.
Like you in this elf shit.
Do you still finished the movie already?
Can I be honest with you?
What's up?
My posture is going to be that of a centaur.
Oh, they got good posture.
They have incredible posture.
They got a wide back.
Wide back with the fatty.
With the fatty.
Move that hair out the way.
Like a centaur.
What?
What?
Nothing wrong with a centaur.
Guitar?
Centaur.
Yo, shit.
Guitar.
Yo, Mark, chill out, bro.
Chill out.
Put your pants back on, Mark.
Why you took your pants?
Listen.
I really like this music vibe.
I'm not going to lie.
I wonder if you get distracted.
No, it is, but it's just nice.
It just creates a little vibe action with it.
That's all I'm saying.
I want to get that neck better.
I want to get everything.
Oh, you want to get that neck better?
Neck better.
We're going to work on that.
Because I'm working on one new thing a day.
I'm trying to do one new thing a day.
That was my new thing that I started today.
It's working on my posture.
Improvement.
What about you, Al?
What'd you start today?
I mean, unlike you, I'm not trying to improve my neck game, but today I tried it for the first time yesterday going upstairs.
So I live on the 37th floor.
I went up the full flight of stairs.
And then today I did it twice.
It was difficult.
The second time was just to pretty much just get away from people.
But yeah, like I want to put together some furniture.
Usually I hire like TaskRabbit people to do that type of stuff, but I'm going to do it myself.
Yeah, just like the learn thing.
Cook.
Like, I'm still here's something.
That cooking thing is switch meals.
So here's something that we're going to, I'm going to learn.
Me and my shorty are going to do.
We're going to learn how to make the drinks that we always get at the bar, but never have done really ourselves.
Ooh.
Like an old-fashioned.
You should learn how to make the Picante from Soho House.
Yeah.
So House Miami.
And I'll be honest with you, I'm not a big Soha.
Sohouse.
Everywhere.
All of them.
They got this.
They got it.
Okay.
So there's a drink called the Picante, right?
It's basically like a spicy margarita.
Yeah.
But it's bomb.
We might have to get that.
Yo, we might have to get that.
That's actually my favorite drink.
Yeah, you like that drink a lot.
Yeah.
You like that drink a lot.
We might have to get that.
I'm trying to do a new thing every single day.
So if you guys have recommendations of other things that we could try out, and I'm telling you, it's little shit.
But if I feel like I did a new little thing every single day, that's why we did the Corona's Got Talent yesterday.
I don't know if you guys were watching on IG Live, but we literally just did a live talent show on my IG.
And we were going to like make a fucking big sign for it and try to do a big promo release for it and all this kind of shit to like really build it up.
And I was just like, fuck it.
Let's just do it.
Let's just do it.
See if it works out, see if it's fun, see if people get involved.
And then they did.
We had a great time.
And I think we had like 15,000 people watching or something crazy like that.
That's what's up.
And that was crazy.
So I think every day I got to do a new thing.
I got to figure out what my new thing is going to be for tomorrow.
I got to think right about it.
Huh?
I got to think about it.
Yeah.
It's like, what do I want to do?
It could be, dude, learn how to fold a fitted sheet.
It could be stupid shit that I've never done in my entire life.
Fold a fitted sheet.
Fitted sheets different, right?
So the fitted sheet is the one that crinkles at the end.
That one is hard to fold.
There's a special way to fold it.
That's what I'm saying.
You didn't even know there's a special way of folding.
Some of you guys asking the same question at home.
Dummies.
Okay, you got me there.
You know what I mean?
I did not know there's a special way to fold.
There's a special way to fold.
How do you fold it?
I'm going to learn that.
That's going to be one of my things to learn.
I didn't learn it yet, but I know I'm trying to fix your neck, bro.
Next time I'll fix your mattress.
I'll fix all these things.
But I'm going to be, I'm going to be on point with it when I'm done with this shit.
I'm going to be on point with it.
And you know what?
I'm going to start doing.
I'm going to start paying attention to all the shit my girl does that she says to my girl in general.
I'm going to pay attention to my girlfriend.
No, I'm going to pay attention to all the stuff that she does that she says is really hard, but I'm never around, so I don't know how hard it is.
You know what I mean?
So now when she says it, I could be like, no, I know exactly how difficult that task that you just did is.
I know exactly how much time it takes.
Oh, you're about to be a tyrant.
Now.
Oh, I feel sorry for her right now.
No, but it's good.
I got to be there.
I got to understand.
Moisturizing Life and Soul00:07:21
I got to appreciate.
Yo, maybe I could find out how long it takes her to like do all her feminine shit, like makeup and like tweeze an eyebrow.
Like maybe I could really take this time to see how difficult it is to be a woman.
That'd be important.
Maybe I learn, you know, to have more empathy for what they got to go through, or maybe it's less.
Maybe it goes, nah, you guys were just lying about all that shit.
It don't really take that long to wash your face.
So are you going to like demonstrate it on yourself?
Say again?
Are you when you're learning, you're going to like demonstrate like you're looking to yourself?
You know what I'll do?
Maybe nah, I'm not going to touch that button.
But what I will do this, I will commit to maybe one week of doing like a face routine.
Because you know how girls are like incredibly get on that.
Well, I've been very fortunate that I've had good skin my entire life.
Son, my skin is unblemished.
Son, you look, you look very close to 40.
Nah, you crazy, bro.
You're crazy.
Regardless of my age, I don't really care about my age, bro, because I like looking how I am.
Like, I'm not one of these people that's afraid of how old I am, nor am I afraid of like the crow's feet.
You know what I mean?
Like, because I think it shows that you've laughed.
It shows that you lived.
Yeah, but you can naturally combat it with taking care of your skin.
I don't mind it.
You just said you want to learn how to do some facial cleansing situations.
Yeah, but it's not to get rid of like my life.
Yeah, but that actually helps it.
Like if you moisturize, you'll have less wrinkles.
Yeah, but you're acting like I care about that.
Like I don't care about that.
Like those things, I think, give you character.
Like when I see old people, they got their faces all pulled back and shit.
I'm like, ah, come on, man.
Stop behind me.
It's just weird.
Like, I think you got to embrace every stage of your life.
You know, so like, I think the people are like running from those things are the most miserable because they're constantly living in fear.
It's like they're being chased by time.
And I don't ever want to feel like I'm running away from time.
I want to feel like I'm kind of like walking alongside it.
Right?
Because then you'll be.
That's a good, good approach to it.
You know what I'm saying?
Because then you'll be appreciative of it.
Be like, oh, this happened.
That happened.
Except for balding.
I'm not fucking with balding.
Oh, yeah.
I ain't going to go.
I'll take pills.
No, See?
See?
You would be bullshit.
I'm not going to bald.
Fuck that.
I've been on the pills.
Son, I took a pill 10 years ago before there was any clinical studies.
They were like, it's going to keep your hair.
Gobbled it.
So they might think, I'm just trying to preserve what guy gave me.
That's it.
I'm never gonna go under the knife for no nothing, but hey, if I can do it naturally.
Who knows?
Maybe we will.
Why is plastic surgery so stigmatized?
Because then you're gonna look like the old people you just talked about.
Let me make an argument and let me completely, this is what I do all the time.
I'll be saying one shit and then I completely flip on it, right?
So check it, right?
No, I got the argument for you.
This is why plastic surgery makes sense.
Our bodies weren't designed to live this long, okay?
Okay.
They were designed to live 30, 40 years.
Okay, now we're living 100 years.
So the actual body, think of ourselves like a Jordan.
You can only wear Jordan so much before the soul gets fucked up.
Then you just swap the soul.
So maybe we need to soul swap some parts of our bodies.
Maybe we need to soul swap some skin.
Maybe we need to soul swap, you know, that shit back here that girls get super long for some reason, right?
Yeah, but if you keep the Jordan in plastic away from air and preserve it, it'll be a lot of fun.
Yeah, but that's not how you live a life, dog.
Like these people that buy the Jordans and they put them in a fucking box and leave them there forever for what?
I wear my Jordans and I'm going to wear my skin.
I'm going to live my life.
But maybe since we're living longer, we have to do certain adjustments.
Thank you for saying that.
Go along with what's happening in our life and to maintain our bodies and skin for what's happening.
So on some level, I kind of understand and I agree with the plastic surgery idea, right?
And I, and I think it's actually keeping pace with how much longer we're living.
We're outliving our shells.
So we have to maintain our shells in some way so we can both live life and have a nice shell to live it with.
Okay.
So what about living life, but naturally trying to preserve it as you go on?
I'm like, why is this natural shit?
When we got the good stuff, like, so then it don't look fake and push back.
You can just moisturize right now.
You want to study for the test.
I'm like, I'll cheat.
Because for me, the tests don't do nothing.
Like, I'll be honest with you.
I'll be honest with you.
Oh, and we're coming up on 30.
Oh, I'll be honest with you.
Okay.
We might give you a couple extra minutes because we got music.
I'll be honest with you.
That, you know, these people who like don't go out in the sun at all their entire lives?
Imagine missing the most valuable thing in human existence, the sun.
We are all particles of sun.
We are all sunlight.
What do we call the like sunbeams or whatever?
We are the product of sun.
Like, imagine missing out on the thing that you come from.
Like, what a fucking stupid idea.
I'm not saying just bake outside of your, you know, your apartment or your house or your whatever it is or bake on the beach every single day.
I mean, that's equally stupid, but like you have to live life.
Yes.
You have to smile.
You have to laugh.
Like, I know girls that they try to not laugh because they don't want to get wrinkles.
Like, that's the most stupid thing in the world.
Why miss out on joy so that you could look good?
Like, it's just, I don't know, super perplexing to me.
So we have to find some way to manage living life and the shell that we've been given not being able to live up to the standards of what we now live.
How do we manage those two things?
Maybe it's plastic surgery.
Son, I flip-flop, bro.
Son, I flip-flop.
Just give it up to me, son.
I live life.
And I naturally preserve it.
Just moisturize.
That's it.
You're black.
It doesn't count.
It doesn't count when you're black.
I don't want to hear black people give me advice on aging.
Oh, yeah.
Just moisturize.
Just rub a little chicken wing on your fucking eyelids.
Son, I took a year off of Mark's life since he started moisturizing.
This kid looks.
Moisturized?
He's not moisturizing, bro.
It's not stupid.
Mark.
Word, Mark.
So you're going to start capping right now because you thanked me after you.
Al.
I hear that.
Here that you can moisturize it more.
Nobody wants to hear black people give advice about aging.
You don't want to hear it.
Whatever, man.
You know what it is?
Trying to help you out.
I've never understood before why black people get annoyed when white people say, It's like, we're not privileged.
Now I get it.
This is the privilege argument that you're giving to me right now.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
You're privileged.
I'm going to expose a 63-year-old man, right?
You look 25 years old.
Son, it's not fair.
We don't age slower.
We just all moisturize.
Since I was a child, my mom would put loads and loads of moisturizer on my face.
I don't know why she did it, but she just did.
Was she trying to make you white?
Nah.
Maybe.
But I would walk into school being a shiny little butterball.
Right.
But that's just how we grew up.
And I'm telling you, that's the only difference.
We don't age any slower than white people.
It's just that we moisturize.
I don't know if this is true.
I think that we're going to have to leave it up to the people at home to comment on it.
How do you know?
Freestyle Music Privilege00:02:19
Hey.
Oh, we got to end up with freestyle.
Okay, ready?
What?
Okay, black people in lotion.
Skin smooth like the ocean.
I'm over here toasting to East and West Coast and going through the motions.
Oh, cool.
Go ahead.
Oh, no.
I was just assisting you because you were about to stumble.
Oh, shit, bro.
You already knew that?
I saw it.
That's how amazing black people are.
They could tell when white people are going to fuck up their raps, bro.
Before they happen, we got this.
Dude, that's crazy.
You got a spidey sense for it?
Hey, bro.
Hey, listen.
One new thing I'm also going to try: freestyling.
That was it.
I'll never do that.
That was my new thing for the day.
Just freestyle.
Don't ever put this shit on beats again.
But for real, man.
We're doing one new thing a day.
Make sure you comment on the YouTube if you got a new thing or just shoot us DMs.
If you got a new thing that you think was dope, easy to do in the crib, something you never thought about.
I don't care if it's Pilates, yoga, stretching.
Make whipped cream.
You know, you could make whipped cream yourself.
Mark astonished me yesterday.
Mark, you made whipped cream yourself?
Son, were you not here when we were having dinner?
I don't know.
I was annoyed.
Okay, okay, we'll get back to that.
But for real, let's just figure out some things that we could all do, man.
We could all assist each other in this shit.
And I think the music stays on the pod, man.
What you think, Al?
It's a vibe.
Mark, what you think?
Music stays?
All right, man.
We gave you a few extra minutes.
We appreciate y'all.
We love y'all.
Tomorrow, when we drop, we're actually going to drop the episode a little earlier and we're going to drop it as an episode of Flagrant to the podcast that I do with Akash Sang and Alex Media.
So what I want you guys to do is if you're tuning in tomorrow with us, make sure you go see Tiger King and watch all of Tiger King on Netflix right now.
It's unbelievable.
You'll love it.
A lot of you guys have already started watching it or have already seen it right now.