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March 24, 2020 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
02:25:14
Tiger King is White Trash Game of Thrones

Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, Alex Media, and Edende Turki debate pandemic economics, Tom Brady's departure from the Patriots, and NFL kickoff safety rules before analyzing Tiger King as a "white trash" saga. They dissect Joe Exotic's manipulations, Carol Baskin's alleged crimes, and the ethics of big cat captivity, arguing that nature is inherently violent while characters like Lauren Jeffries seek distraction through extreme behavior. Ultimately, the hosts conclude that the documentary exposes dark human motivations, contrasting them with personal anecdotes about difficult pets and promoting their Patreon and Twitch channels. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
No Heat In The Studio 00:04:40
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I got Akash Singh in a building.
We got Alex Media in the building.
Edende Turki is at home.
He's on strict exile, strict shelter in home, not playing any games out there with that.
And we're here at the studio.
No heat on in the studio.
My landlord thinks he's slick.
He literally, listen, this is my suspicion.
I don't know.
I talked to you about this already.
I knew you'd have suspicions.
Oh, immediately.
I am not a very glass half full with other people person.
Like with my own life.
Isn't that interesting?
Like with like, if you're like, yo, Schultz, do you think that, you know, you could play in the NBA?
I'd be like, no, that glass is looking pretty full right about now.
I think I could figure it out.
But with anyone else, I'm like, nah, they're trying to fuck me.
They're trying to screw me or something like that, right?
I have a suspicion.
Schultz's a big conspiracy theorist, but all conspiracies, fuck him.
Yeah, exactly.
Everything is against him.
I'm the World Trade Center.
I don't care who blew me up.
I got blown up.
Surprised you got me here then.
Keep your friends close, put your enemies close.
So, but yeah, so we came in.
It was the other day.
We came in.
The heat was off.
Was it two days ago, Al?
Yeah.
So, you know, we've been coming in every day, obviously, to do this.
So the heat was off, and it was when it was fucking freezing.
Yeah.
No, it was yesterday.
I bike to work yesterday.
I have this like motorcycle that I call, was a motorized bike that I call motorcycle.
And it was pouring rain.
And I was like, the delivery guys can do it.
I can fucking do it.
It was 37 degrees.
The first decision you've ever made in your life.
I'm on the bridge.
I almost just went right off the fence.
I literally almost drove right off the bridge and just swan dove in the back.
The only thing that stopped you is that water is colder.
So the only thing that stopped me is my girl saying, you shouldn't bike in this weather.
You're going to be freezing.
So, I'm on a bike pissed off that she's right.
My fucking converse is soaked straight through.
Socks are soaked.
There's no fenders on the wheels, so the water's just coming up, hitting me in the face.
It's hitting me all over the back.
But I had to make it through despite her.
And my whole saving grace when I get to the studios, this is going to be nice and toasty because we got the New York radiators, baby.
Oh, yeah.
You remember New York?
It's too hot radiators.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
So I'm like, I'm going to lay all my clothes on the radiator.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Puerto Rican dryer.
100%.
Right out?
Oh, I know.
There we go.
So it's going to be good.
See?
And it's the best because you're sitting warm in five minutes.
Why you got a whole dryer for it, right?
So I'm like, I get, I open the door.
It's a little cold, Akash.
Right?
I'm like, that's weird.
You'd think they would turn on the heat already because I felt it when I walked in.
You felt it.
Because it's freezing on the first floor as soon as you walk in.
Keep going.
And I'm, and you're on an elevator.
You're like, he rises, though, right?
You're like, he rises.
Maybe warmer in the building.
Maybe they just shut off like the main hallway.
But each office got to have heat.
Of course.
And then I walked in.
I said to Al at least three times because I'm a bitch.
I was like, is it kind of cold?
Is it going to be?
John Dangle, you're not a bitch.
I'm like, yo, is it?
It's a little bit chilly here.
What's going on?
You're a bitch.
I got a scarf on still while we're recording this.
Okay?
So I'm going, it's a little bit fucking cold.
My feet are soaked.
Everything's soaked.
I've taken off all my clothes outside the door.
Right.
Right.
So I'm butt naked outside the door to our studio and I figure no one's coming to work today.
So I'm okay.
I'm not here yet.
No, Al was here.
Nobody's here.
It's just me.
If Al was here, we would have cuddled and kept warm.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like some real survival shit.
I got you, boo.
Al, let me in that sweatsuit.
So I go, okay, I'm going to put my stuff on the radiator, everything good.
Radiar completely off, butt naked.
Okay.
I go into the room where we have the merch.
Yeah.
I take a double XL anti-social justice warrior hoodie, put it on.
Okay.
Looking like your girlfriend.
Son, Mark said, I look like Ariana Grande.
Mark comes in.
I'm on the couch with only a sweatshirt on, nothing on my pants.
I look like you happy on a winter day when you're walking a baby dog.
And Mark walks in.
He goes, dude, why are you dressed like Ariana Grande?
I'm like, go back outside so I can put on my wet underwear.
Yo, you need fashion undies.
That's what this tells you, dog.
Oh, next season, we got to be straight because the heat is.
Survival Shit And Hoodies 00:09:33
And I understand what they did, I think.
I think they're like, nobody's coming in work because it's shelter in place.
Let's save a few bucks.
If that's the case, we better save a few bucks on our rent.
I'm such a fucking good guy, Ah gosh, that I'm like, I call him.
He's got some sad ass voice on.
He's all sad.
How you doing?
Oh, you know, it's tough times.
And I'm just like, talking about your landlord?
Yeah.
I don't give a fuck.
I know, bro.
I'm trying to not give a fuck, but it's like, he's going through it.
You know, there's businesses in the building that are probably going to fall apart, you know?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
That's how this works, yo.
It's the reset.
It's just Mother Earth going.
You know how many careers you already ended putting all your shit on YouTube?
You know how many comedians went broke because of this guy?
What do you mean?
Really?
You've shifted everything to online content.
You know how many old comedians, dinosaur-ass comedians that were fucking going city to city and just toughing it out?
We're like, well, that's it.
It's over.
I mean, I can still eke out a living, not before COVID, but they were just like, I can eat out a living, but I ain't going to make it big, man.
Ain't no, this YouTube shit is over.
Well, I mean, they can always do that.
That's business, yo.
No, they can't.
No, no.
But in all seriousness, I wasn't like actively doing that to them.
I would be actively trying to take money out of the landlord's pockets if I was like, yo, do this.
And then they made up some excuse.
They were like, oh, you know, there's a lot of smoke that's coming from the thing, blah, blah, blah.
It was like, but there was no smoke last month before the coronavirus.
Also, Trump going to give Trump giving all the big businesses like a relief.
How big?
We got to get to that.
I'm talking about this landlord.
They'll give.
When is this business big enough to get?
Never with a Republican in office.
Gee, never.
No, It's in effect right now.
I was going to speak to you after the show.
You got a few grants coming your way, buddy.
Really?
Yeah.
You have a small business loan or something like that?
We might have to tweak the numbers.
Let's talk after.
Yeah.
I was doing a little research yesterday.
Yeah.
Really?
Hey, you got an incorporation too.
Hey.
We got a couple grants coming out.
Hey, talk pretty to me.
Well, yeah, we can't talk about it out here, but yeah, shit.
Everybody, go look that up.
Yo, but you know what?
We got to stop giving out game a little bit because on the podcast, we spoke about no, not the tax thing.
Well, a couple things, right?
On when we were doing the daily, the nightly show, right?
We spoke about some little Corona hacks.
We always dropped the Corona hacks.
And one of the Corona hacks was that there are restaurants in the city that have never delivered in their history.
But now, since you can't have people there, they have to find a way to make income.
And food is a necessary item or an essential item.
Is that the term?
So they're allowing them to deliver.
So I was like, yo, Manetta Tavern, you know, that spot right next to the cellar.
It's like incredible.
And Carbone.
Carbone is this like amazing Italian spot.
You can't get a reservation.
You can't get a reservation.
Yeah.
We said they're delivering, take advantage of it.
Today or yesterday, the Business Insider wrote an article showing a line of delivery boys, delivery men, sorry, I can't say that outside of Carbone specifically.
And they're like, people are flooding Carbone for deliveries.
Now, I'm not saying this is us.
It was probably going to happen organically, but we definitely sped up the process.
A lot of our fans are in New York.
100%.
And yo, take advantage of that shit.
Spicy Rigatoni, get that Caesar salad, and you should be Gucci.
All right, shit.
Yeah.
Hey, maybe you get to go also, right?
I don't think that.
Yeah, I can't say no.
I can't say.
What if I just pretend I'm a delivery boy taking it to Jersey?
Son, I can't call them delivery boys no more after biking in the rain, bro.
Son, I was so sorry, delivery man.
I was like, do you have a case against you?
You can't talk about boys.
I couldn't do it because I was biking in the rain and I saw these delivery men.
I can't even say that word.
That's how we're delivery people.
Yo, she also got an M-word.
So I do.
So I saw them biking this way.
You know, they put the little plastic bags over their hands so their hands don't get cold.
I'm looking at these motherfuckers like, damn, I wish I had some plastic bags with pounding them.
That fucking fingernails about to fall off.
Plastic bag with the oven mitts.
Exactly.
Plastic bag over it.
Don't worry about the break.
Good money, bro.
You ain't breaking anybody on the road.
Dude, it is a nice ride.
I will say this.
It is a nice ride.
Dude, nobody's on the road.
I took the tunnel in or out of the city.
Holland?
Holland Tunnel, Lincoln Tunnel, I'm going to go.
I was like, dude, pick me up on the way.
Yo, I got you.
I picked you up before.
You just got to let me know.
Let's go.
I think they usually have me take the Lincoln, but I can switch it up.
He just saw him pull out.
He just finished that.
He's such a nice restaurant.
Oh, you passed me?
Come get me.
Yeah, but it's.
About halfway through, you get bored of that shit.
I'm not going to lie, bro.
It's nice fresh air in the beginning.
After that, you're like, yo, what we listening to, delivery men?
Yo, we had a great ride over when I picked you up.
You know what the best thing was?
And I don't mean this in like a hateful way.
It's just a testament to how long we've been friends.
We spoke about five words on a 30-minute drive to each other on the way here last week.
But there was a reason for that.
Was it?
We were writing bits.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We were writing roasted for Alex.
I didn't have that.
But still, it's also just like, it's just nice.
We could easily do that.
Yeah, that's male friendship.
And I, and I prefaced it.
I think I prefaced it when I walked in.
I was like, yo, I just want you to know I got to write something.
You didn't love the fuck.
I loved it.
I mean, I was listening to his old white man radio.
Son.
I got Dallow's old white man radio station.
Taking his old white dude.
Son.
He'd be turning around up AM station.
Son, this shit is so funny, bro.
What's wrong with it?
The feed's not as clear, but it's warmer.
You have to click every time.
It ain't even digital yet, bro.
Dude, I could not believe what he was.
Middle-aged white dudes, the ticket.
I love it.
I love that station.
That's my guys.
They got a younger guy I'm actually cool with now, but they're great.
Just middle-aged white guys from a south.
They were good.
I'm not going to lie.
I was like listening a little bit, and it fueled the racism for my jokes against Alex.
Anytime that I didn't have something to go for for Alex, I just heard one of them.
Well, problem with these defensive backs.
I think he called them defensive blacks at one point in time, then corrected himself.
They just want too much damn money.
Dancing in the end zone after intercepts.
We get it.
You got rhythm.
Guys, there's something that I really want us to all talk about, but I think we're going to have to stop for one second before I shit through my pants.
We've never recorded this early.
What?
I have to shit on like an insane level right now.
And I've been holding it in glass.
Okay.
I'll tell you a really quick story and then I've got to go shit.
Okay.
Practice on as long as you can, Alice.
I mean, a lot of follow-up questions.
Okay.
So here's the thing.
So last night, right?
Going to bed.
My shorty damn near tore each other's heads off multiple times.
Yo.
You know, it's been an interesting thing to watch.
Yo, because my girl and I don't like quibble much, but when we fight, it's a banger.
So, like, this is a weird thing where we're both trying to avoid the fucking blow-up and we're just kind of softly stepping around each other.
Yeah, but then seeing you and your girl like quibble, it was just funny to watch it.
We had a family dinner Sunday, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It felt like a family.
So, so, uh, so, uh, what's it called?
So, we're in bed last night, and uh, we started watching the outsider in HBO, which is dope.
Check that out if you guys need.
Yeah, yeah, I was telling you about it.
It's a I really feel like I want to share things to distract people with.
Like, I think I feel like it's an important thing that we could do.
I think if there's no sports to distract us, we should have a show we talk about every day.
100%.
And so, the outsider, go check it on HBO, really good.
And so far, and we're in bed, we're like cuddled up and everything like that.
And my girl knows when I fart because my whole body tenses up.
It gets rigorous, and then I fart, right?
So, she just has that lockdown, right?
So, she's like, I'll start to tense up, and she'll just go, okay.
And then I just let her rip.
So, that's fine.
That's easy, right?
Next, next is this.
Yeah, Mark's hair.
So, what happened was this: I'm in bed, right?
And I start scratching my butthole, right?
Right?
I'm scratching my butthole.
Now, I do this thing now.
A lot of people at home don't know this, but I do do this.
Akash actually knows this.
So, I scratch my butthole, right?
After I scratch my butthole, I smell it, right?
Now, here's something interesting: I try to sneak in the smell with a breath, right?
But here's the thing: you can't sniff and breathe at the same time.
Sniff is yeah, but breathing is just physically demonstrate how you so I scratch like that, and then I go, and I how do you think that's sneaking it in that nobody notices?
My girl is turned this way, okay?
I'm big spoon, she's little spoon.
So I'm like, this girl's little.
So, I went like this, right?
I scratch, scratch, scratch.
She doesn't say anything, and then I go, I went like this.
I went, I went right, and then she goes, Did you just smell your asshole?
I don't know what to say.
I literally don't know what to say.
So, this is my response.
This is my response, ready a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, all my years of comedic wit, 12 of 10, however long I've been doing a little bit.
Holy shit!
That's what I went with.
Smell Your Asshole 00:04:34
13 years, a little bit, as if she'd be like, Oh, just a little bit.
Let's go to sleep.
Wrap that shit-finger hand around me.
Let's get this spooning off.
You ever been caught by your girl in a way that you just can't get out?
You just like, I don't know how to own this weird ass thing I just can't remember any, but man, I know that feeling.
I want to hear other people that send in, like, you were doing some weird shit and your girl caught you, and you just had to sit there and own it.
Yo, what is the weirdest shit your girl caught you doing?
I remember, but I know it happened.
Yeah, were you cheating a little bit?
All right, let me go poop before I shit myself.
And then we'll keep asking you questions just to keep you here.
Go ahead, buddy.
All right, people, we're gonna take a break for a little quick second.
I'm talking to you at home right now.
Baldness is a choice.
Balding is a choice right now.
If you notice your hair is thinning, you are making a choice to go bald.
You do not have to go bald.
You can keep your hair.
I thought that my hair was thinning, I think, over 10 years ago, and I started getting on a drug that got me to keep my hair.
And the company keeps will get you on that exact same drug pill.
You get to keep your hair.
I'm telling you, there is one thing that dictates how well men age, and that is a full head of hair.
If you got a full head of hair, people are like, oh my God, he looked great for his age.
If you got no hair, be like, damn, motherfucker getting old.
Keep your fucking hair.
It is a choice now.
Go out there.
Keep it.
And the best way to do it is prevent it from leaving.
So if you notice it's thinning, if you notice it's going away, you get on it now.
Okay.
Keeps.com slash flagrant.
You can go there and go through all the steps and they'll make sure that they get you that.
You will keep your fucking hair.
I cannot stress this to you enough.
I get DMs all the time asking for the brand, ask for the company, ask for the promo code, keeps.com/slash flagrant.
That is it.
Simple as that.
Keep your fucking hair.
Okay?
As a guy, you got to do this.
If you're a girl, all right?
You got a boyfriend who might be bald, and we like to ignore.
We like to ignore it.
We like to act like it's not even happening.
It is happening.
Let them know.
Keeps.
Okay.
Keeps.com/slash flagrant.
Do it.
Make sure you treat your scalp right and keep that hair for the rest of your life.
It is inexcusable.
Inexcusable.
Honestly, the only genetic gift I got, I think, from God is he gave me a full head of hair.
And I'm a little annoyed that Keeps has made it this easy for motherfuckers to go bald.
You have done it.
So now I'm done.
My only advantage is washed.
It's nothing.
Perfect.
Anyway, go to keeps.com/slash flagrant.
Get that shit.
Keep your hair.
Okay.
We're quarantined now.
You might as well have a great head of hair fully stocked by the time we're back.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Glow up during this quarantine.
Let's get back to the show.
Okay.
I'm back.
Cleaned up.
You know what I mean?
I cleaned up.
I love it.
I wash.
I wash check.
100%.
You could even touch them.
It was good.
This is the new Andrew, yo.
No, I know.
This really changed my life.
How do you wash hands?
You know, sometimes I wonder about your technique.
Huh?
I wonder about your hand washing technique.
I wash it the way everybody washes it.
You get, you, you, like, you do the whole, you get the fingers and all that, get the thumbs.
No.
I use, I wash the part that I use.
Which is what?
Well, so I wipe usually with these two fingers.
I knew that.
So I just go like that.
And I just, I put some soap on those fingers and I go like that.
And then I'm good.
But I don't have to wipe these.
You fingering your own asshole?
No, I'm like more like Spider-Man.
You wash with just two fingers?
I think I wipe like that.
How do you guys wipe?
Maybe these three?
How do you wipe?
I use all four.
Like, get a good amount of circumstances on the paper.
Yeah, you got a big old black ass time.
I'm out here with this.
I'm out of this little Caucasian booty.
I can get him with two fingers.
You're strong ass hands.
I'm surprised you don't clef your asshole, dude.
I gotta watch out.
You too, dog.
That's why I switched to a bidet.
You were just hooking yourself with the bidet up yet, yo.
Say what?
You hooked your bidet up yet.
Man, can I just live my quarantine without touching it?
Security.
I missed you, out gosh.
I missed you, dude.
No, but in all seriousness, we moved to my girl's crib.
Economy Panic And Bidets 00:06:28
Yeah.
So now there's no bidet.
The bidet is over at my crib.
You install it at your crib or it's just at your crib uninstalled.
This is infrared.
Flake Warden.
Politicians warning.
Hey, bruh.
You know what I mean?
The heater works in the building, but there's some smoke.
So we're trying to figure it out.
Yo, some real shit before we get into the to the regular flagrancy.
You know, we've been talking so much about corona and like the things that are happening and kind of like trying to prepare people for little stuff that's going down.
And I think the next big wave, this is my prediction.
The next big wave will be, and I think it starts this week, are people getting laid off work.
I think that companies are going to start to call.
I'm going to be honest, you started that sentence like you had a fucking tip for all of us.
Like, yo, the next big technology that you guys need to invest in.
No, no, no.
Yo, let's ride this wave, yo.
No, well, and then that should turn into a tidal wave, a fucking tsunami killing all of us.
Well, I mean, if you want to take advantage of something like that, if you're a guy who puts some money in the market, like you do, I'll go.
So the market is extremely affected by employment rates.
Yeah.
And what everybody's waiting for, apparently, is for the employment rate to come out.
Now, if you notice Trump, Trump's been trying to say, well, once you did your two weeks, you go back to work.
He wants everybody back to work because he knows once the employment rate comes out, the market's going to fucking dive.
And that's when it really starts happening because what is the market, right?
The market is, in a lot of ways, judging people's ability to consume, right?
I can consume a stock.
I'm literally betting that that stock is going to go up because people are going to consume it.
Yeah.
Right?
If people are unemployed, what can they not do?
Spend.
Can't spend nothing.
If they're not working for a company, that company cannot produce production consumption.
That's what runs the economy.
So with unemployment high, meaning a lot of people are unemployed, you're going to see, and I think this is the week they lay people off.
The big dip seems to come when there's panic.
And that's why every time they do a stimulus, I know it's not going to work.
I don't know the economics of it necessarily, but I'm skeptical that it will work.
I can explain.
Because I'm like, you're not going to get rid of people's panic.
So here's the thing: in order for the economy to function, you can't just give people money.
That's not what makes it fun.
Didn't it work in 08, though?
Because what happened in 08?
They built a business, not people.
What happened in 08?
They built out businesses.
Right.
And those businesses pay employees.
Yeah.
Those employees go buy pizza.
But most of his stimulus plans are for businesses, though.
Sure, sure.
There's two ways to go about it, right?
You either bail out the business or you bail out the employees.
You trickle down or you trickle up.
Exactly.
Right?
But either way, the goal is not to throw some money in your pocket.
The goal is actually to hand you money that you then spend.
It's like when you get paid at a casino.
You know what a casino gets or like a casino gives you chips because you're a high roller.
You know what you're doing with them chips?
Right, right, right.
Like whenever you work as a comic at a casino, they can't wait to pay you because they know the second you're off fucking stage.
Do you think you think Rich Walls, when he gets on stage, is going back to the hotel room?
No, I want some action.
You pair of shortens.
We're the Jordans.
Right?
Love you.
He just came out a re-release.
It's a good price on Shakti.
He's the best, dude.
He literally is.
How much fun did we have at the Patrice?
So that's their thing.
They're like, yo, let's give some money.
Let's throw some money at this problem.
That worked in 08.
Right.
It can't work now because even if you give me money.
I'm not spending it.
Because I'm sheltered.
Interesting.
So even if you bail out the businesses, what are they going to do?
They can't hire anybody.
They can't even hire nobody.
It's like all these businesses, and I'm sure, you know, like, I'm sure your girl has to go through it.
All of our girls have to do their work in the corporate world.
Got to go through it.
It's like, literally, they're just calling clients and going, so what do you want to do?
And they're going, well, we don't know what to do.
Okay, we'll call you next week.
Yeah.
My girl's lucky in that it's healthcare advertising.
So it's like marketing for whatever, but healthcare.
Everybody wants medicine right now.
Give me everything.
100%.
Knock on wood.
She's good.
But yeah, I've always just thought what's going to make people panic.
And if the unemployment number is high, people are going to panic.
And if you have stimulus, but we still feel like we can't go outside, people are still going to sell.
Because once you think we're fucked, you're selling and let me make what I can.
And then if you lose a few dollars, you're like, all right, I'll sell it for the, and that's what drives the price down and down and down.
Yeah.
I think, like you said, JFK, if they shut down JFK and then the news circulates and everybody's melting down, let's just sell and get what we can.
That's the big sell-off.
Unemployment numbers high.
Fuck it.
Sell.
Let's get what we can.
I heard a different, another theory also, and I think you touched on this, which is like instead of trying to predict the bottom, just put slowly.
Slowly.
Yeah.
Just do a trail.
Yeah.
And you know that it's going down.
You're putting, let's say you have 10,000 total and you're putting in a thousand every week.
Yeah.
You know that it's going to go down on that first thousand and you're going to lose some money, but eventually it's going to come up.
But that last thousand that you hit before it comes up, you might make, I mean, who knows what the stock is, but that's what you're going to make all your money on, right?
You can't chase the perfection of putting all your money in.
It's the lowest moment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you never, that's just not worth the risk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So just keep putting in slowly.
Slowly, yeah.
And I'm talking shit like I've done it.
I haven't done it.
I've put in, invested in my Roth IRA, and then I'm going to move that money around and then I'm going to put more money in, more money in.
But like, I'm not putting in, I'm not dumping in money.
You should have a, I saw one guy said, have a one-year emergency fund, meaning like we scale back everything, not fucking the cell phone, whatever.
Like this is to survive one-year survival fund.
And then if you have money left, you can invest.
Yeah, yeah.
I always try to, that's always been my strategy.
It's like, how do we, how do I operate for a year paying everybody, paying myself.
Right.
And now, you know, I got a girlfriend.
That's more responsibility.
Yeah.
Because at the end of the day, it's like, we could act like that's the thing.
And like times like this, you realize like the value of gender roles.
Oh, yeah.
Because it's like, we could act like, oh, we're equals and we both have a responsibility to provide.
It's like, I have a responsibility to provide.
Emergency Fund Strategies 00:02:50
Yeah.
And then you have a responsibility to provide until you don't.
Yeah.
And then I do.
Right.
That's just how.
Right.
It's not like I can stop providing.
That's modern day gender roles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, we both get jobs, but I better not lose mine.
You know what I mean?
You can lose yours.
If you lose yours, I just got to work harder.
You know what it is?
You know how like a car can drive with three wheels?
Yeah.
We're three wheels.
And your girl's the fourth wheel, right?
And it's like, it's nicer.
But we're going to get there.
You know, we have a tricycle.
Yeah, exactly.
We're a tricycle.
You add another wheel.
That's great.
We good now.
We good.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
Your girl's like the bumpers in the bowling alley.
People bowl before bumpers.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And then I'll work harder if I get my, if you lose your job, I'll work harder.
And then I come home and you don't have a job, so cook something.
Yeah, it's like I'm tired from all this work.
It's like, if your girl loses her job, it's like, all right, we're going to figure this out.
And if I lose my job, it's like, all right, I'm going to figure this out.
I got to figure this out.
Don't worry, I'm going to figure this out, man.
It's a lot of, it's a lot of I when it's on us.
It's a lot of we when it's on us.
We got to do that shit so then we'd be like, all right, what are we cooking for dinner tonight?
Damn, did we do laundry yet?
Oh, we got to clean up, huh?
Yeah, this house hold dirty.
We should clean this shit while I'm at work.
Hey, while I'm at work, why don't we clean this apart?
Oh, fuck.
So, yeah.
Anyway, we hope everybody's good at home, man.
We hope that you guys work everything out.
Hopefully, your business take care of you.
And, you know, if not, I'm sure there's like packages when you get laid off, right?
You get some unemployment.
They're going to have to do something.
Yeah, I mean, this is going to be, this is weird.
This is weird.
I think the next, yeah, the next couple of weeks are going to be like really telling as far as where the economy goes.
You can't stop it for a week straight.
Think about it.
We've only really been quarantined for a week, right?
Yeah.
Full quarantine.
And really just New York.
A lot of the country is like kind of in it, kind of not, whatever.
New York and San Fran are the most locked down.
Dallas just did, what is it, stay at home or whatever they call it?
Shelter at home.
Yeah, yeah.
But that's, I think, an effect today.
But it's gonna, it's, we don't know.
And Al and I were just debating off the podcast.
He said somebody said the only way to make this actually go away is everybody is fully locked in their house for two weeks.
And I just don't think that's possible today.
No, it's not possible because they keep giving us outs.
But, I mean, that's the only way we can get rid of it, like right now.
Yeah.
We stayed in for two weeks, all the surfaces, it would die.
What's your joke?
I see your joke face right now.
Yo, that was so fucking demeaning, son.
Al was disgusted with you.
I'm around this motherfucker so much.
Belichick And Brady Debates 00:15:50
I see what it's like.
I did have a joke, though.
I did have a joke.
That's why I wasn't even angry at him.
What's your little fucking joke?
Where's your little wise crack?
Wise crack.
I'm like, his girl sensitive's body tense up and shit.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
But it is true.
I did have a joke, Al.
My joke was like, you know how they've been keep on allowing us to exercise?
Yeah.
Like, everybody's like, you got to stay inside, but you can exercise.
Like, you think they're worried that like Americans are already so fat that if they keep us inside, keep us inside, we'll just start dying, dude.
We'll just start game over.
Just obesity guarantee.
Imagine like we're moving around on an everyday basis.
Oh, yeah.
If you're just at home.
Yeah, that's nuts, dude.
It might be a rap.
Yeah, you're teetering already.
I mean, there's already people so unhealthy.
Yeah, think how many people walk side to side.
The Zions?
Son, have you seen that meme with the penguin walking?
And they're like, Zion, Zion walking back for a timeout?
Oh, my God.
No, I never seen that.
Anyway, so weirdly enough, some very interesting things have happened this week in the athletic world that Akash is going to help break down.
But remember last week, we were all like, what the fuck is going on with Tom Brady?
Why is he going to the Buccaneers?
You know, we had our theories, et cetera.
Well, this week, a report was dropped, and it basically explained the saga leading up to now.
So it explains, it's an ESPN article.
It's a pretty long read.
Yeah.
The long and short of it is everybody that kind of sensed this for the past five years and has been whispering, I don't think Tom Brady's happy.
I don't think he's happy.
They were right.
He kind of started to go away from the Belichick method and lean into his own TB12 thing.
What is that?
You know, the TB12 method about pliability and he had his trainer.
And there was this article that came out like two years ago where he would have his trainer in the facility a bunch.
Guerreros or something?
Alexis Guerreros, I think was his name.
And people.
Oh, isn't that our friend?
Oh, yeah, maybe it was Alex Guerreros or Alexis Guerrero, yeah.
I don't know what it's like.
How's Alexis?
Cooligans.
What's up?
But he had a trainer that he would bring in that was his TB12 guy.
And then it kind of started to cause a division in the locker room.
Belichick sent him home.
There was some tension there.
Brady, essentially, long and short, didn't feel appreciated.
He felt like I don't like that Belichick is just kind of like...
Undermining.
He treats me like every other player, essentially.
Oh, he wanted to be treated nicely.
Yeah, he's not even trying to undermine you like, hey, if you're good, just let you know you're not as good as you think.
The second you're not of use to me, we will get rid of you.
His dad had a quote that was something like, the second they find a quarterback as good as Brady for a dollar cheaper, they're done with Brady.
And that's kind of...
Brady's dad had it.
Yeah, Brady's dad said something like that.
And Brady kind of felt the same way.
And like, he felt like when it was Deflate Gate, everybody just had him take the fucking fall.
Belichick wasn't really with him standing by him in the news conference, whatever.
Like all these little things added up where Brady's like, yo, these guys don't appreciate me.
And he was just unhappier and unhappier over time.
He wanted a longer-term deal, like now, in his last couple of contracts, extensions, and all that.
And Belichick was just like.
My understanding was that, just from reading a little excerpts of it, was that he didn't ask for the long-term deal, that he was specifically going for the one-year deals to have like leverage in the offseason.
My understanding, and I would have to reread it now because maybe I misunderstood.
But my understanding was he wanted to retire a Patriot, but they wouldn't really commit to him until he was 45, which is how long he wants to play.
And that was just like, yo, you don't think I'm going to do it?
You don't appreciate what I've done.
I'm down to retire a Patriot.
But then it just got as they would have like two-year deals with little opt-outs or whatever.
But it was always the idea that we're not fully committing to you.
We're ready to move on when we need to, essentially.
And Brady, at a certain point, got he just so fucking like upset at Belichick.
Well, there's one big moment.
Go ahead.
The big moment is it happened prior to the Garoppolo trade.
So, you know, when Jimmy Garoppolo got traded to the 49ers, right?
You remember in this, Alex?
Yeah.
Everybody at home, I'm sure you guys remember Jimmy Garoppolo.
There was a lot of tension between Belichick and Brady.
Right.
And, you know, Belichick was, and, well, Brady was basically like, yo, what's the deal?
What's going on here?
I think Brady was coming off of injury.
No, I think he was coming off of Deflate Gate.
Garoppolo played that year.
The injury was like 2008, 2007, something like that.
Matt Castle started that year.
They went 114.
Okay, so maybe it was Deflate Gate, but there was three quarterbacks that they had.
They were all solid quarterbacks.
There was Jacoby Brady.
They're all starters now.
There is Jimmy Garoppolo.
And the whole league, they traded, I think, Jacoby, or they let Jacoby go to the Colts.
And then Jimmy Garoppolo was like, everybody in the league is like, yo, this is a starting quarterback.
This before, obviously, the 49ers, where we show that he might be limited.
Everybody was really excited about him.
He's a number one.
And I guess he was playing some games.
He was fucking balling his ass off.
Balling.
And Belichick really liked him.
And Belichick preferred him to Brady.
And Brady was not fucking having it.
Brady was upset.
And Brady kind of put his foot down.
It was like, hey, listen, you're not going to have this other quarterback here.
I'm the quarterback of the team.
And Belichick calls up the 49ers to make a trade and offers Brady to the 49ers.
Did you not read this part?
No.
I did not see this part.
That's the big thing.
So he calls up the 49ers and offers Brady.
The 49ers are like, what?
Yeah.
Are you serious?
Kraft gets wind of it, shuts it down.
Right.
I had heard that.
After that, dead.
But that was the first.
So when he was like, make a decision, and the decision is me, Belichick was like, no, it's not.
Yeah.
And then offers Brady the fucking 49ers, and Kraft has to stop it.
And the 49ers jam or whoever the fuck was on the other line was like, wait, did I hear this right?
They got at least one, if not two Super Bowls after that.
Two.
They went to it.
Yeah.
They went to two.
So they got at least, they won at least one.
They'd gone to two.
They might have had the fifth.
He might have got his fifth ring after Deflate Gate.
I'm not completely positive.
But so Belichick would have been wrong there.
My kind of view on it with Brady is like, what do you think got you the dynasty?
Bill doing this.
Why would you think it's going to stop for you?
It's good and ugly because you have an ego and he has an ego.
And I see emotionally how you're hurt.
But in the back of your mind, you got to know.
Oh, this is great.
You know, when you fuck up and you're upset, I was here Friday.
We were talking out some shit.
My car got towed and I'm upset.
Why the fuck is New York City towing?
You're giving reprieve for all these people, blah, blah, blah.
Why are you still towing me?
I know in the back of my mind, this is my fault.
This is what it is.
I know the deal.
The truth, Tom Brady got to know in the back of his mind is this is what got you the dynasty.
Bill Belichick doesn't love anyone.
He's not going to love you when the time comes.
And that is a tough pill to swallow, but it got you a fucking dynasty.
The greatest dynasty ever.
And it might not have been that without you.
Cool, accept that.
But just you, that's Peyton Manning.
Just a great quarterback, that's Peyton Manning.
Peyton Manning having all these offensive weapons, throwing these touchdowns.
Two Super Bowls.
And one of them he got fucking carried to when he was washed.
That's the Broncos.
That's the Broncos.
Oh, my God, man.
That's an amazing point.
You can't be upset about the Patriot Way if you benefited from the Patriot Way.
Yeah, this is the Patriot Way.
And that's the Tom Brady way.
It's not TB12.
That's what Belichick is probably thinking.
He's like, wait, why are you getting your fucking panties in a bunch about this?
We had a sit-down every year where I said I was going to release these players and I was going to get rid of these players and trade these players.
And you were totally okay with it and on board with it.
And even if they didn't have a sit-down, you knew and you saw and you're smart and you won.
And I love Tom Brady and I hope he wins a ring with Tampa Bay.
But like, this is what it is, man.
You got to know this is what it was going to be.
It had to end like this.
And I think with time, they'll be okay because you'll realize that.
Right now, it's super fucking.
He's in the ceilings, but in the back of his mind, you got to know.
Dude, you know what?
That really makes me makes Belichick more likable.
It's like everybody asks for equality, right?
Everybody asks to be treated equal.
Everybody begs for that, right?
And then...
It's right up his alley, right?
Yeah, I know.
Likable to you.
It's true because you know what it is?
Like, we all ask for that, right?
We all ask for certain treatment, but we don't know what that treatment entails, right?
Like, we tease women all the time on the podcast, like, y'all ask for equality when it benefits you.
And then when it doesn't, you're like, no, I'm good, right?
We're just talking about right now.
And that's the situation with Tom Brady, right?
It's like you ask for, well, maybe he never asked for equality.
Maybe he wants to be treated better, but everybody in the world asks for this concept of equality.
And then when we have an actually equal system, truly equal, hey, I don't care who the fuck you are, Tom Brady or...
Whatever it takes to win.
Whatever your fucking name is, whatever it takes to win, that means we cut Tom Brady a year before he's done, and we cut the guy that you don't even know a year before he's done.
This is just the Patriot Way, and everybody falls in line.
I can sleep at night as Belichick with that.
Yeah.
And if you spell that out to your players, and I don't even know if you owe them that, but if it's known in the ethos, it's known in the culture, they shouldn't be that upset about it.
Yeah.
It's your job to play like you have two more years left because if you play like you got one, you're gone.
Yeah.
So keep that.
And you know what?
That might have been the thing that allowed Tom Brady to play in an elite level until he's 42 years old because he's always been playing like he got two more left.
Yo, that's interesting.
And hey, maybe they'd have been, maybe they'd have won for 10 years longer if they traded Garoppolo, whatever, because he had in his mind his quarterback of the future who's young.
So I could get the world for Tom Brady right now and then build around this guy who's in his early 20s and just move forward.
And now we got 15 more years.
Dude, that's a great point.
Why would I not do this?
And I love Brady, dude.
I'm a Brady fan.
Yes.
But like, that is the Patriot Way.
That is what we all fucking put them on a pedestal for.
That's what you benefited from.
I'm really surprised, though, because if the Patriot Way is like that as a player, how do you give your all?
I know you give your all to stay on, but then it's like, why would you want to be on a team that you know, like, hey, if I start to slip, I'm out of here.
It's like you kind of want a little bit of that security.
Like, yo, you know, if something happens to me, my team got me or, you know, my squad got me.
So Belichick doesn't, they don't win a ton in like the free agency game.
They don't often go out there and throw money at the best free agent and get a bunch of players.
They'll draft guys who Julian Edelman was, nobody gave a fuck about Julian Edelman.
It was actually, it was a Dallas News, Dallas Morning News writer who was like a sports guy who was cool with Belichick, and he's like got a hard-on for special teams.
And he was like, hey, Bill, and Bill loves special teams.
He's like, Bill, this guy's a good special teams player.
That's how Bill got castoffs.
So, special teams for everybody, anybody who's foreign and doesn't watch American football, that's punt return, kickoff, return, and kicking off, et cetera.
It is, I don't understand how there's like people that love special teams, why that affects the game so much, why it's so important.
I don't really understand.
Belichick is obsessed with it, so it's got to mean something in my mind.
But in my mind, I'm like, what is it?
Is it just field position?
It's field position, and then the field goal, you know, if you get two extra points a game, that can win you one.
That'll swing one or two games a season.
What do you mean about the?
So the Cowboys lost.
The Cowboys had a terrible kicker all year.
His name was Bill Maher.
He missed like 50% of his field goals, which is a terrible percentage.
You should be somewhere around 70, 80.
Right.
That's like three points a game.
They lost like four or five games by three points.
So if theoretically, now you're not going to make 100%, but if you win 100% and you get an extra three points a game or whatever it is, now you're 12 and 4 instead of 8-8.
And now you're one of the best records in the league instead of not.
It's like the free throw shooting.
It's free throw shooting.
It is exactly.
Team shoots, what is the statistic?
You know, 75% or something like that.
Yeah.
There's no close games that you don't win.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's like that.
Interesting.
Okay.
Okay.
And field position matters.
And, you know, getting a ball at the.
The field position thing is interesting.
Like if you could really maximize field position in football, especially if you're a team that has a great defense.
And this is another thing about what makes Bill Belichick so smart.
I don't think he's still doing it, but he's just always experimenting.
The NFL, the kickoffs, people get hurt very badly on kickoffs.
I don't know why.
Something about kickoffs over punts.
People, like career-ending injuries happen.
Paralysis happens the most when people get paralyzed on the field during kickoffs.
So the NFL is kind of trying to phase him out.
So they move the kickoff from the 30-yard line to the 35 so it would be more touchbacks.
Just kick it in the end zone, take it to the 25-yard line.
Belichick, instead of kicking it in the end zone, told his kickers, kick it as high as you can.
So we have more time.
So we have more time to get down there.
And if a touchback is going to give you the 25, if you kneel in the end zone, let's see if we can tag him with the 20, 18, 19, 21, 22.
Let's just get that extra five yards.
Like, that's the guy's a fucking maniac.
Yeah, yeah.
So to expect any emotion out of this guy, I just don't see how you can do that.
Yes.
And he doesn't, like, yeah, he's not.
Randy Moss went there when Randy Moss got traded to Oakland and then kind of wasn't doing anything and was just struggling.
So now we make a trade for Randy Moss.
Yeah, but you answer my question.
It's like they tend to get players who just are happy to play.
Yeah, it's not a lot of guys.
They're not going to be on a team.
Not a lot of young 20-something guys who are in line for their first huge paycheck are even ever going to the Patriots.
And then Belichick spot their gifts.
He's like, oh, yeah, I can make it.
He's a football.
Belichick is like the Tiger King.
Let's see.
He finds players that are extremely needy, right?
They're down and out.
They have no other opportunity.
He takes them in.
Yeah.
And they'll do anything he wants because Julian Edelman wasn't getting all these other opportunities from other teams.
Yeah.
Right?
It was nothing.
It was like, you don't get to play football at all.
You want to play in the NFL?
Come here.
Come over here.
Yeah.
And then you could treat them however they want because they already have it in their head: hey, I'm disposable.
So when you dispose of them, they're like, that's what's supposed to happen.
We're going to talk about this with Tiger King when Mark shows his ass up.
But the thing about.
Mark may be here already.
I just want to point that out.
We might be holding him off for specifics.
When you, this will be, again, we'll talk about it.
It might not even be Mark that we have coming in.
Might be someone else.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, man.
Never know.
Might be the star of a new Netflix show.
I mean, you never, or a current Netflix documentary.
Never know about these things on the Flagrant 2 podcast.
You know what I'm saying?
You know, Alex, I sent you a little text message.
Just wanted to check one thing.
Make sure you do that.
But anyway, go on.
When you take someone who's broken, like the Tiger King took these broken people, and then you give them something.
Yes.
Who are they loyal to?
To you.
Julian Edelman, I don't know if you remember that video from Sports Center, him and Brady were at a hockey game, and then he's putting Brady on blast, like, he's going to stay.
He's staying.
Julian Edelman had had shirts saying, stay, Tom, whatever.
He wants Tom to stay with the Patriots because he's not leaving.
Why is he not leaving?
Calm Yourself Down With Dick 00:05:34
Because he had nothing.
And then Belichick gave him something.
He was nobody.
Nobody gave a fuck about me.
Belichick gave me a career.
I'm a Super Bowl MVP maybe two times.
Yeah.
I will die for Bill Belichick.
I'm not going no fucking where.
He took a guy who didn't have a contract and made him a Super Bowl MVP.
And there's, listen, there's good undrafted free agents, but his story in particular is like nobody even thought about it.
You think Edelman would kill for Belichick?
He might, dude.
He might.
He might.
He might go to Florida for three grand.
All right, let's take a break for a second.
Pay some pills.
Guys, you need hard dicks, okay?
Especially during this quarantine time.
It's not a game out here.
Okay.
You are living with your girl, your wife, whoever it is.
You guys are with each other all the time.
Okay?
It's easy to want to fuck when you're not seeing her five days a week for 50 hours a day, barely hanging out, coming home tired, exhausted.
You guys don't do it for a few days.
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But when you are seeing each other every single day, all day, you might not have that same desire, bro.
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So you might need to spice it up because that lady, in order for her to be calm, she needs the dick.
She's not going to be calm without the dick.
It's the only thing that can calm her down.
Okay?
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The only thing that's going to calm her down is the dick.
Okay?
And you want to make sure you have the hardest, strongest dick you could possibly have to calm your girlfriend or wife down.
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Ladies, if you're listening right now, you're probably agreeing.
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Okay.
Make sure this quarantine goes as smoothly as possible.
You blue chew that thing.
Chew it out.
Do what you have to do as a man.
Treat your wife right.
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Make sure you pass this time.
Okay?
It's hard to get cardio out here.
You've got to bring the cardio to the bedroom.
Bluechew.com.
Flagrant is the code.
Now we're not done yet.
After you get that nice workout, right?
After you're doing all that lifting at home with them dumbbells, okay?
After you're stressing your body, after you're doing all those push-ups, using these muscles you've never used in your life, doing burpees, you know, doing these jumping squats, jumping lunges, all this other shit that we never did.
Those muscles are going to be sore, right?
Akash, what do we do with these sore muscles?
Yo, the best thing to do is to buy the power dot.
Power Dot.
Personal experience with this.
I think we talked about this on the podcast.
Maybe it's quarantine.
You can't work out.
I went jogging because it's the only way I could be active.
My body is not built for jogging.
No, it's not.
I haven't jogged in years.
I was so embarrassingly sore.
My calves were killing me.
I could barely walk.
Whatever, I came here.
I took the PowerDot home.
Let's go.
Super portable case.
It's like the size of a CD wallet that we used to have in middle school and put it on my calves, felt better the next day.
The PowerDot combines, and I read about this before I used it: two different technologies.
There's one called Neuromuscular Electric Stimulation, NMES, and there's one called TENS.
And TENS is what helps with recovery.
They literally, Al, I think you were saying they use it at physical therapy offices.
I looked up independent studies that says this is effective.
They combine both technologies.
So you speed up recovery, and if you speed up recovery, you improve athletic performance.
You use it in PT.
It's great to rehab from actual injuries.
They're very straightforward on how to use it.
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I got an app that you use.
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The athletes use this.
Everybody's using this.
You can't get a massage now.
All you people out there that get these professional massages or sports massages or all these types of massages, it's not happening.
The masseuses are shut down.
You can't work out those muscles that get so tense and tight after you exercise.
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Full heads of hair, hard dicks, and relaxed muscles.
That's what you get when you listen to this podcast.
And let's get back to the show.
Yeah, it's an interesting situation.
Powerdot Free Trial Offer 00:11:38
Now, I haven't seen the video, but there's another story that's going around that's that's really interesting for multiple reasons.
One, it's an NBA player getting their dick sucked on Instagram live.
Yeah.
And two, it was live.
Was it?
Yeah, it was live, right?
It was on the story.
Oh, I didn't hear about this.
Jamal Murray.
Jamal Murray.
Jamal Murray, there's a video of him getting hit.
I think he put it on his story and then he deleted it.
But like, you have to make two decisions to put it on your story.
Do you know what I mean?
It's not an accident, right?
It's like you record it, and then there's another button that you press and then it goes on your story.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's not like you can record and your thumb slips and like hits it.
You have to go, all right, that's me getting my dick sucked, and I'd like it on my story.
And it asks you, it goes, would you like to put it on your story?
Right?
Like, it's almost like Mark Zuckerberg is like, you sure you want to get your dick sucked on your story?
And then Jamal Murray said, yes.
I got to see this video.
I haven't seen the video.
I haven't.
No.
But don't you want to see that NBA dick?
Now that you mention it.
We got to see what NBA looks like.
Canadian NBA dick.
Canadian NBA.
I'm a little bit less interested.
Dude, Canadian black dick.
What is that?
Just like American white dick?
Is it wrong to think that Canadian black dick is smaller than regular black dick?
Al now that we're thinking about black dick.
It depends on what kind of Canadian you are.
If you're like the West, like you're like the West Indian Canadian, like first generation.
Some Jamaicans.
Oh, no, If you're from Jamaica.
Yeah.
Jamika.
If you have like Abbott preached from Ja May Wild, like Abba and preached.
Oh, he's Haitian, son.
Haitian is a dad.
I said, West Indian, right?
They scrubbed this shit from the internet because I can't find it.
I said West Indian.
They scrubbed it from the internet?
Yeah.
Damn, son.
That's like me washing my hands, bro.
I mean, it's getting that COVID off my face.
It's mad easy to find that, Al.
If that's the case, literally just type it in Google.
Yo, that's what I'm saying.
They scrubbed it.
I might have to make a phone call to some NBA pippers to see if we have that.
Okay, do that.
You know what I'm saying?
We might have to call the Nuggets organization and see if we can get a picture of that dang-a-lang.
The girl is sucking a dick.
Hey, I can't.
Second that thing.
Second that thing.
How fast can you say sucking a dick?
Sucking a dick.
Oh.
Son is a dick.
Yo, that's the fastest sign.
Say it again.
Second.
You got it?
Al got it.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Oh, white girl going, hey, Montana.
It says wife.
It's his wife.
Now, girls, if you want to know how to get an NBA player, watch this immediately.
If you want to know how to get an NBA, is he uncirced?
Come on, Canada.
Okay.
She is going full throat on it.
No, she got a couple.
Nah, nah, nah.
She throated that thing with no hands.
Full throat, no hands, not even directing it in a certain way.
This guy's that's a wild boy, bro.
That's a wild boy.
That's a wild boy, bro.
Run it back.
Let me take my dick off.
My dick off.
Let me take my dick off my body, bro.
I like that energy.
Yo, she knows how to do it, though.
Bop, bop.
Focus.
Bop.
She's focused.
Bop!
Bop!
Megan, eye contact.
You know what I mean?
Yo, she's looking at me, it feels like, right?
That shit got intimate.
She just moved her own hair out the way.
Let's go, Megan.
Is she a Kentucky ball player?
No, I think she's well, yeah.
Oh, she literally grabbed balls and shaft at the same time.
Whoa, that move was crazy.
Listen, I had to readjust.
Ladies, if you were listening to that, you were that John Madden thing where you go back and forth on the game film.
Let's run that back there.
Let's run that back there and get the bottom of that play.
Ladies, if you want to know how to get an NBA player, or ladies, if you're asking yourself while you're in quarantine alone why you don't have a quarantine bay and why your quarantine bay is not in the NBA, look at the way that girl sucks dick and then look at the way you suck dick.
And therein lies the answer.
Okay?
There is a distinct difference between the way girls that are alone in the quarantine suck dick and the way that girl sucks dick because she is sucking a dick.
Oh my gosh.
She's second a dick.
She's sucking a dick.
Second a dick.
You are fucking fast with it, dude.
Yo, I'm telling you, top of mind.
Doug, I almost busted watching, and that guy was just holding steady that whole time.
Head ain't nothing new for this man.
He's an NBA ball player, yo.
Oh, man.
What?
What do you mean?
I'd rate that like a six.
I mean, shut up.
Son of a six.
That was even impressive.
I'm just saying.
Al, shut the fuck up.
Have you seen superhead?
There was no basket motion.
There was no it was one basket.
She was doing single-hand baskets.
Yeah, that's that's Jamal Murray got enough baskets for everybody, man.
Come on.
It was not a six.
Exactly.
Stop it.
Hey, hey.
We've all watched porn.
Stop acting like you're the only person that's seen sucking a dicks.
Okay, and compared to regular porn, that was a six.
Bring a 10 up.
Side.
Bring a 10 up.
We go really see if there's double, almost double better.
That's crazy.
This guy's a fucking crazy person.
Like, we all haven't seen the whole same goddamn porn.
We all see the superhead shit.
Why is Andrew Dickens such a fucking pissed off?
You're trying to act like you get the best dick sucks.
Oh, I get the best dick sucks.
Sometimes your ego be coming out of some odd shit.
Yo, I don't like it, bro.
I get better dick sucks.
I didn't like that shit.
I feel like Tom Brady, bro.
I felt like Brady right there.
I'm going to Tampa.
Hey, there's one guy that knows about exploiting young Jewish people.
It's got to be Al, right?
Little scrappy white people.
I mean, get them to do what you want.
Wait, what I'll do?
White women?
I mean, it's women in this case, but.
Damn, Al, I didn't know that you were exploiting the Jewish community.
It's weird looking up porn in a room full of guys right now.
Especially when you're looking up best parents.
Yo, this is like an alone activity I usually like to provide.
But are you looking up?
Is it like gender?
It doesn't matter what gender?
Like, if we're really going for the best, right?
If it's a physical activity, guys are going to be the best at it.
If you really want to know the best porn, you might have to look up some dude dick sucks sucker in the dirt.
I'm going to just pull it up just to make icons.
It's mad easy for me.
I got my back to the thing.
Honestly, I support this movement, Al.
Al, Al, chill out.
Don't put no porn on the show.
Al, don't put no.
Hey, Al.
Al!
Come on!
That's black on black crime, Al.
So let me guess.
I can't even look at it on the screen.
So you only fuck white girls, but your porn is black.
I'm black gay, dog.
Hey, hey.
Oh, man.
I got to take my scarf off, dog.
I can't be able to breathe up in this bitch.
Al said we the best.
Oh, God, man.
That really made me feel uncomfortable, Al.
Oh, my God.
All right.
Fast forward.
All right.
We got it fast forward.
We already started to fast forward.
Yeah, fast forward to the next topic.
Was there something else that you truly wanted to touch on before we bring in our guests, our newly famous guests?
We should talk about the online stuff that's happening, like the social media stuff that's happening during this quarantine, like all the people going on live.
Yo, this is what the whole quarantine is going to expose, I think, is there's going to be some real fucking winners.
Yeah.
DJ D. Nice is the biggest winner in epidemic, in pandemic history.
For those of you who don't know, DJ D Nice is DJ, who's been DJing for a couple of decades, I think.
I remember hearing his name in like a tribe called Quest Songs.
Oh, wow.
Some of the D. Nice to your rescue.
This is an old school guy.
Yeah.
A guy that you would figure would have no fucking imprint on social media.
When the quarantine happens, he just says, yo, we're going to have a party.
I'm going to DJ for nine straight hours or whatever it is.
That's what he'll marathon forever.
And he just starts DJing.
And then it becomes this fucking like global movement.
I'm watching his IG live.
Jonah Hill is commenting.
Netflix is commenting.
Motherfucking, you told me Michelle Obama was in there.
Obama Oprah was in there.
He went from 400,000.
I started watching that night.
He was up to like 40,000 people were streaming or something.
He had like 400,000 followers on IG.
The next day, I checked in a million followers.
Yeah, overnight.
Doing it, killing it.
And then Quest Love appropriated the idea.
Oh, yeah.
And I started seeing him get all this love.
I'm like, yo, how's this not appropriation?
I mean, everybody started.
Like, the moment people saw that, it's like, oh, I just saw about six different lives going on at one time.
Right now, if you open Instagram, it's Mad Lives.
Yeah, lives are popping.
Yeah.
Now, I have to say, we have the hottest live, though.
We do have the hottest live.
We got the hottest live.
The talent show, Corona's got talent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Simple as that.
Yeah.
Hottest live.
You got a little comment in the somebody commenting on the IG Live.
Oh, I mean, Beebs was in there.
Yeah.
But that's regular.
That's regular, Degular.
What was the comment?
Michelle Obama when you got the Beeves.
You got the Beeves.
You ain't wrong about it, yo.
Say what?
You ain't wrong about it.
You know what I'm saying?
That's what Michelle Obama did.
I'm sorry.
That felt bad.
It's quarantine.
We can keep 100.
We can keep 100 in a quarantine now.
She got some guns, though.
She still got guns.
She ain't fucking with the Beebs.
Beebs a doya.
Yo, y'all.
Beeves is a joy.
Yo, Beeves a joint on the inside and out.
Facts.
Son.
I'm just saying, Corona's got talent, yo.
We had the stripper post popping.
That's crazy.
We had the magic show.
I'm not going to front.
The magic show was unbelievable.
I told you.
We had a dude do magic, and this guy goes to me, he goes, pick a card through the camera.
Yeah.
I go, you can see it on my live on my Instagram right now on the story while it's still up.
He goes, pick a card through the camera.
I go, all right.
I go pick a card.
You don't pick a card, obviously.
He goes, now, what is it?
I think about what the card is.
I go, nine of hearts, right?
He goes, don't say what it is, but just think about what it is.
No, no.
Matter of fact, he asked me what card it is.
He goes, now put it back in the deck.
He looks through the deck.
There's one card that's flipped over.
The fucking nine of hearts.
You don't sound impressive from here.
I got to see it on the live.
You kind of have to see it.
Because it just sounded like...
Because I'm not seeing you virtually do the card pulling.
I can't picture that.
Pick a card.
Yeah.
Say it.
Nine of Hearts.
Say any card.
Ace of Spades.
Any card.
He just did.
Ace of Spades.
He specifically.
He specifically said in the live, not the Ace of Spades.
Okay, you didn't tell me that yet.
You just said it again.
It doesn't matter.
Go on.
Okay.
Four of clubs.
Four of clubs.
Imagine I took out a deck of cards right now and I start shoving shovels, just going through the dead cards, and there's one card that's flipped over, right?
It's one card that's actually face down.
And then I pick up that card and it's the four clubs.
Don't sound that odd to me.
Yo, this is like.
Whoa, Andrew.
I give it a six.
I give it a six, yo.
You jumped off the stage and you saw.
I'm trying to make up where he lacks.
I'd give it a six.
If I had a fucking flute and a Cobra came out of a basket, this guy would lose his goddamn money.
That wasn't that impressive to me.
I wouldn't have to do that.
I don't tell people who could do that.
Four Day Workweek Ideas 00:10:33
Then all of a sudden, it's no big deal.
A fucking Cobra does what Cobras do.
There's a Cobra right here.
Instead of me falling on the ground, I'm falling outside.
I just watched a white girl take down a Cobra.
Anyway, listen.
Corona's got talent.
You know, some people appreciate magic.
Some people appreciate art.
Okay.
This guy's at home folding fucking socks with his girlfriend.
We don't give a fuck.
I'm the IG Live and asking me my talent.
Yo, you know why he's upset?
Because we had Neil Manda in there and they were going, yo, no, I got love for Neil.
He do look like this.
Someone looked like that.
Someone said he looked like shitty Akash.
Justin Neil, yo.
He looked like Akash, but he's sick.
Akashi is sick.
Oh, fuck.
All right, boom.
So let's go.
Listen, is there anything else that you wanted to discuss?
There was something else I think you said you had a good take on.
Yeah.
Oh, so the NBA, there's two NBA teams, one of whom is the Sixers.
I remember the other team, but they are cutting NBA employees to four days a week.
And then they will dock their pay accordingly.
So you're losing 20% of your check.
Does that include players or just it's like full-time employees, salary, like full-time employees that are the nine-to-five, whatever, office guys?
I think the more companies do this, this will be good in the long run.
Ooh.
Because salaries are always going to adjust up.
But if in the same way, a ton of people are working from home and a lot of offices are going to be like, oh, we could just have you work from home whenever you want.
We don't need you in the office.
And that's going to be better in the long run.
Going down to a four-day workweek, if everybody does that, a lot of companies are going to be like, hey, maybe we don't need people to come in five days a week.
And once this shit is over, there's a possibility we might start transitioning to a four-day workweek because it's like, oh, we got just as much done.
We're just not wasting fucking time anymore.
Outside of four-day workweek, how many people really need to be in the office?
Like once we realize how effective you can be from your home and how costly real estate is, I don't fucking understand why companies insist on it.
So that's the thing.
It's like you have what's called a brick or mortar, right?
Like you actually have the business has its stores like on Fifth Avenue or these type things.
A lot of these places are lost sleepers, right?
Meaning that they lose money, but you want to have a face, right?
This makes sense for retail.
It doesn't make sense for an advertising agency.
I don't understand.
You can have a small office, right?
Or you can have these workspaces, but for the most part, you can stay home, do your work at home.
And then when you're doing your work at home, you can carve out your own fucking schedule.
Take your lunch when you want to take your lunch.
You have to be on certain calls.
It's very easy.
Or decide to work in a communal workspace.
And what if, hypothetically speaking, you and all your friends work together, but you have different jobs.
So now, let's say we have corporate jobs.
You, me and Alex work for different companies, but we decide to share a workspace.
So that means we take our lunches together.
That means we go out, do a workout class, do whatever we want.
We don't have to work with the fucking dickheads that are in the office you don't get along with.
You actually work with people you like being around.
This makes perfect sense.
WeWorks apparently not doing well.
I've looked at WeWorks for the past few.
I thought I was going to win.
I was wrong about WeWorks because I was like, that's what it's going to be.
We don't need offices.
You just need a place you're going to rent out every once in a while when I got to get you together.
Well, WeWork is not working well because they put themselves out as a tech company, not a real estate company.
Oh, okay.
And I think tech companies get this crazy evaluation.
They get like a 25-to-1 evaluation.
And they really don't have any tech.
No, you're a real estate company.
You're a real estate company.
So it's like, exactly.
That's all you have is space and you rent it out.
So if they came out with their IPO, right?
And they were just like, hey, we're just a real estate company.
So it's whatever real estate is, one to one or five to one or whatever that is.
Then I think they would have done fine.
But when they said we're a tech company and then their evaluation came out way lower than they thought, they're going to get crushed.
But to me, that's what it, there's another move there where you just have office space that people will rent out for one hour, two hours at a time.
Work with the people you like.
That can be their motto.
That can be their slogan.
Work with the people you love.
Just go to you and your, I mean, you can go to work with your wife, go to work with your boys.
You could switch who you go to work with.
You could literally go, hey, what are you guys doing Wednesday?
You guys want to work together?
Yeah.
Hey, let's get the WeWork, blah, blah.
All you need is the internet connection.
Yes.
It's a great idea.
I think they just expanded too quickly.
WeWork.
They got hungry.
And the money was cheap.
They got greedy.
If you go tech to get a higher evaluation, to me, that's just, oh, you got greedy.
Yes.
You didn't want to take the long real estate road.
100%.
Some of the earlier WeWorks, like the one on like 14th Street around there.
Okay.
Like, it's always packed.
I like deal with a couple people in there.
It's always fucking packed.
And then the one in Brooklyn, Williamsburg, which is fairly new, always empty.
Yeah.
The Dumbo one.
There's like the Dumbo one.
Yeah, yeah.
They got greedy.
Yeah.
And it was easy to expand, right?
Because the economy was fucking humming and money was so cheap.
Like you could get money from anybody because they're like, yeah, I want to invest in something.
Everything's good.
But so maybe now when it downsizes, maybe now it'll work out better.
But I love the idea of fuck the office.
Do your own work on your time.
Choose the people you want to work with.
Hey, do you work better alone?
Then you just get your own little fucking cubicle.
Take it out.
And I've been weirdly optimistic about like, hey, this is all going to be for the best in the long run.
I do think some of these benefits, four-day work week might be optimistic, but work from home is going to be more of a thing.
Like in 10 years.
Workweek is sick, dude.
It could be, if they can make this we do that.
I've been wanting that for the longest.
Like, and I've worked corporate America since I was like 16, 17.
It's so easy to switch.
Add two hours a day.
I mean, think about it.
We went to school, high school, right?
Yes.
Elementary through high school, five days a week.
We get into college.
Yeah.
Immediately, we turn it into a four-day school week, right?
Most of you guys, at least that's what we did.
We went through for Tuesday, Thursday classes, and then like Monday, Wednesday labs or whatever the fuck they went, right?
So you have a Monday through Thursday thing.
It was very easy.
It was like.
We have Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but people would always try to stack so they would have one or two days off.
Always.
Sure.
So it's like, if we know how functional it is and we know how easy it is to make that shift, and we didn't think that there was any less learning per se going along, I think it really worked.
Now, the question is, what happens to those jobs that, matter of fact, yo, it might even be more functional for businesses because you go four days a week full-time and then you hire people for three day a week part-time.
And businesses can save money because you don't got to pay part-time employees benefits, health insurance, all that kind of shit.
And you know what?
Four-day a week, give me 11 hours.
Or what is it, a 40-hour work week?
10, 10 hours.
Give me 10 hours.
What they've been doing to us now is making it a kind of 50-hour workweek.
But it's like, you want me to put in 50?
I'll do four, what is that, 12-hour days?
Yeah.
I could do four eight to eights.
No, but a lot of these jobs are doing salary.
And so you can do a 10-day, 10-hour day.
It's like you still get it.
Salary, they don't pay you overtime and they'll work you harder.
And that's, it would also kind of safeguard against that if it's a four-day workweek because you can only work a person in one day so much and then expect them to come back two days.
So boom, give me four 12-hour days and then a three-day weekend every day.
Dude, that's great for comment.
Now you got people going out.
You got one extra brunch.
Right.
You got one for restaurants and shit.
You got one extra.
In terms of consumption, it's hard to consume when you're working all fucking day.
Nightlife is going to pop, dog.
Wednesday night?
Yo, if you're in college, what's the big party night?
Thursday night.
How about we just make that everywhere?
Boom.
Yeah, dude.
I think as crazy as this seems, four-hour workweek is more fun.
Now, there's certain things that need staff, right?
Banks need staff.
The post office needs staff.
Courts need staff, right?
Like, there's certain things you actually need people there five days because let's say you get arrested on Thursday.
Now you're going to spend fucking Friday, Saturday, Sunday in the tombs.
So there's certain things that might change a little bit, but the regular corporate sector, fuck yeah, dude.
Four-hour workweek.
100%.
So we go into freelance where we work seven hours a week right when every motherfucker is about to work four hours a week.
God damn.
Yeah, but we still got a nice situation.
Even though working seven days a week, it's still like you pick the hours you want to work.
We're our own boss.
While you try biking work into rain and cold.
We work as hard as we want to work.
Exactly.
This is our choice.
We could do four days a week.
100%.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
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Tiger King And Ear Piercings 00:04:31
Talking about bosses, talking about kings, talking about royalty.
You know what I mean?
We have a special guest today.
Right.
Fresh off of his Netflix series.
Right.
The Tiger King.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
We have the one and only Joe Exotic coming into the studio.
This was very difficult to get.
It's very difficult to get because he is currently incarcerated.
So we had to find a way to get him out of prison.
He snuck him out.
Snuck him out.
Do you know what I mean?
And that's where Eden is.
If anybody can sneak people across walls.
Boom.
There we go.
We got it.
You know what I'm saying?
We got one on the inside.
Tiger King.
Tiger King, can you please come join us?
Did you hear that growl just now?
I heard a growl.
Okay.
We got the Tiger King in the building.
Everybody fresh off his Netflix series and success.
Motherfucker took my shirt, son.
Yo, let the Tiger King live.
Man, broke out of prison.
He needed clothes.
Tiger King.
First of all, I want to say thank you so much for coming on the show, man.
I know you must be getting crazy amounts of media.
You got to stretch those legs out for that Prince Albs.
That Prince Albs is big tiger.
Oh, there's Prince Albert in here.
You know what I mean?
Why is your ear blue, dog?
What do you mean?
That ear is...
Something's wrong with that ear.
What do you mean?
Whoa, shit.
What's wrong?
No, no.
In all seriousness.
Yo.
Do something with Tiger King.
Yo, yo, your ear looks infected, Big.
Hold on.
It's blue, yo.
It's blue, bro.
I'm like, that's my ear piercing.
You're enough in blue, dog.
That's my ear piercing.
What's wrong?
No, no, did you really?
Now, do you know that's happening right now?
This is really bad blue.
Yo, real talk.
Did you just clip it or did you pierce it?
Get my ear piercing out.
Look at this.
Look at that.
Someone get my ear piercing out right now.
Get it out right now.
Hold on.
Come on, get it out, boy.
Yo, there's rotavirus in his head.
Okay, Tiger King.
Get both of them off, Tiger King.
Get me.
I'm both my piercings off.
Son, did you put this through your fucking ear?
I don't think so.
Bro, what the fuck?
Dude, you have a hematoma on your ear, Tiger King.
I'm really concerned about you, man.
Yes, son.
It is right away, son.
Oh, my love.
You're not having ear piercing?
I just take shit to another level.
Y'all almost, you almost sacrificed your fucking ear for this, Tiger King.
We really appreciate it.
So, Tiger King, okay.
So, you have this amazing Netflix series that's out, and you've taken some time out of your lengthy prison sentence to come in here and talk to us about what you experienced.
First of all, where did this love of Tigers come from?
Because I hated pussies, so I got into Tigers.
You know, that's kind of what happened growing up.
Dude, what a character, bro.
What a character this guy is, dude.
So you get into, you hate pussies so much, so you get into, you are a gay man.
That's true.
Yeah, a lot of people, they might not know that within the first couple episodes, but you are like super gay.
And I hope you don't think we have a problem with that because we actually work with a gay guy.
His name is Mark.
He's not here right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You work with a gay guy.
Sounds like a handsome kid.
You really like.
You really like it.
You would love this guy.
How many teeth does he have?
Say again?
How much teeth does he have?
Oh, full mouth of teeth.
Damn it.
But you can make some room.
All right, man.
So now you're known for taking guys, straight guys, and then making them gay while they're with you.
Yeah.
It's called dick flipping.
Dick flipping.
Yeah.
Okay, flipping a dick.
Yeah, flipping a dick.
Flipping a dick.
Oh, gosh, how fast can you say that?
Flipping a dick.
Damn, gosh, that's good.
Okay, so how do you flip a dick?
It's a lengthy process flipping a dick.
I'll tell you what.
You got to bring him in.
You got to ask him.
First, I'll ask him, I'll say, hey, how straight are you?
Yeah.
Right?
So here, we can practice.
Is he straight or is he?
He's Indian.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
So I'll say, how straight are you?
Yeah.
Mostly straight?
Mostly straight.
All right.
Well, when you watch porn, do you want the big one or do you want the little one?
I want that big one.
So you're not that straight.
And then I fuck them.
So, yeah, that's basically it.
That's pretty much all.
That's funny because when he said that, I was like, that's a good point.
That's a good point, I guess.
Oh, yeah.
We get you hooked on meth, then you fuck them.
There's a meth thing.
Yeah, the meth thing.
Step to step.
So do you look for the guys that have meth?
Is that part of it?
Flipping A Dick Process 00:03:33
Nah, you didn't need them to want myth.
And then if they just want an interest and have a meth addiction.
That's what I meant.
Anyone can have a meth addiction.
That's the way I see it.
I'm an equal opportunist.
Do they need like a meth curiosity at least?
Nah, I don't even think so.
They need more like a tight little waistline and some big balls.
That's all they need.
Yeah.
That's what I'm looking for.
Why do you like the big balls, Tiger King?
Because, you know, they're just fun to play with.
And, you know, I remember at Travis' funeral, he used to just rub his big balls in my face.
So it just reminds me of, you know, it just reminds me of him.
Was that what you thought was most appropriate to share at his funeral of all the things that you guys did together, of all like the times you connected?
Yeah, I just wanted, I just wanted his mom.
His mom was there, so I wanted her to, you know, to hear that fun story of us.
And I also wanted her to hear my new song, Hear Kitty Kitty, that I sang at the funeral.
In the actual uniform that I wore in the music video.
So I wanted everyone to hear that.
Just in case those clips were maybe used on the news or something, then people could reference that song.
Yeah, I take a very social media approach to my content.
I make small content clips.
I subtitle them and I put them out on YouTube.
That's how I revolutionize the animal game.
Listen, sounds brilliant to me.
Anybody who would take that approach with their industry is probably a king.
You know what I'm saying?
I would call them the king myself.
So this guy is just fucking one of the greats.
Really one of the greats, you know?
And then a quarantine might happen.
You know what I mean?
And then everybody in the animal game might probably start doing what you're talking about.
This bitch Carol.
Oh, this bitch Carol down in Florida.
Tell us about this bitch Carol, man, because she seemed to be causing so many problems for you, bro.
She really bothered you.
She talked to you in a certain way.
Do you think it's because she knows she could never have you because you're not interested?
I don't know what exactly it is.
I mean, her hubby Howie is quite a looker, so I'm interested in him.
But I think, as far as Carol goes, I just think she's jealous of all the cubs that I have.
I really think that's it.
I think she's jealous of the cubs.
I think that bitch is a murderer, too.
Yeah.
She killed her husband down there in Florida.
You saw that, right?
Yeah.
She fed him to the tiger.
So I think she's just jealous of what I have.
What do you think it is?
Yeah, I think she killed her.
I think she killed her husband 100%.
I think she's jealous of you because you found a way to get your husband to kill himself.
And, you know, and like, that's a skill.
That's why you're the king.
And she's not.
She's just some, you know, cat rescue bitch.
Yeah.
Right?
That's correct.
I think that she was a fucking piece when she was younger.
She was a dime.
Yeah.
Did you think that I know that you don't look at them like that?
Yeah, I mean, I can see it.
I could definitely see it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm also pissed at her because she stole the name of our company.
What was the name of your company?
Big Cat Entertainment.
And what was the name of first?
Big Cat Rescue.
I mean, if I had to go see something.
I've seen Big Cat Entertainment, right?
I want to be entertained.
I don't want to see a cat get rescued.
Who cares about rescuing?
Yeah.
Rescue implies there's something wrong.
It's the worst part of the cat, the rescuing it.
Yeah, you don't have to judge the cat that it needs your rescue.
Yeah.
Now, can you talk with us about Doc Antle a little bit?
Because he was one of my favorite characters.
I love Doc Ansel.
Doc Antel was my mentor.
What did you like about Doc Antel?
I was like, Soul Patch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like that he called himself God.
I thought that was nice.
Yeah, Bagadabon.
Yeah, Bagavon, Doc Antel.
What is it, Bagadubon?
Bagvon, yeah.
Say it again?
Bugvan.
It's Bhagvan, is how he spelled with a V, but Von.
I think it's Bagadaban.
Southerners And Big Cat Rescue 00:15:40
Yeah, you're closer.
I think it's Bagadabon.
It's like that kid rocks on.
Bagadabon.
Bagadaboni Biddy.
The parking lot garage.
Okay, so cultured.
So Doc Antle.
Doc Antole.
Yeah, Doc Antel.
Now, did you feel while watching this documentary that the documentarian, the director of the documentarian, did you think that he liked Doc Antel or disliked Doc Anto?
What do you think that his personal opinion on Doc was?
I don't know.
I mean, Doc Antel's one of those guys.
You like him or you love him.
You know, that's what we say.
And how'd you feel?
I loved him, man.
He was my mentor.
I love that man, Doc Anto.
Did you ever think about Tom Fuck?
No, never.
No, he had all these ladies.
You know, he was able to train the tigers and train the women, right?
Is that where you learned to train your man?
Yeah, we were a little competition there, you know.
Yeah, he would get these young girls.
I would get these young boys.
Now, he didn't need meth.
Yeah, but women are easier to tame.
Ooh, interesting.
You had to compare men and women to animals that you have to tame.
What's a man and what's a woman?
Yeah, well, a man's like a tiger or a lion.
A woman's like a lemur or a snail.
Why is a woman like a snail, Tiger King?
Well, you know, if they sit there and scoot around, they'll leave a little trail.
And that way, if they try to get away, you can always follow them.
Exactly.
They're easier to follow.
Right, right, right.
I see.
Yeah, I see it, sweetheart.
Get back here.
You're in the closet again.
Now, how do you come up with the amount of money that you pay them a week?
We've noticed that the employees at these zoos got paid a very minimal, minimal wage.
I mean, you were paying your guys $150 a week.
$120 a week, yeah.
Was it $120?
Yeah.
Well, $138.67.
Ah, well, $150, I guess, minus the taxes, right?
Because you're a good law-abiding tax-paying citizen.
Yeah, obviously.
I'm not a criminal.
Yeah, I mean, I would basically just ask them, hey, how much were you making in jail?
And then I would say whatever that number is and multiply it by like 20.
And they were making like $1, and now they're making $20 a day.
So that's pretty good.
They're looking at like a raise.
Yeah, it's a huge promotion for them.
Wow.
So that's why you got people from prison?
So it's such an easy inflation?
No, of course not.
I got people in prison because I care about people and I wanted to give people a chance to bounce back and find themselves and maybe get on meth and fuck me.
So it's like dick.
Yeah, exactly.
So, yeah, I'm just, yeah, I'm trying to pull people up from their dick straps.
Any other questions for the tiger kid?
Guys, if you haven't put this together already, maybe you're listening online, but if you're watching the video, I have to be honest with you because I've always been honest with our audience, and I feel like that connectivity that we have is based on trust and truth.
We don't actually have the Tiger King here.
I know you guys were fooled.
I know you were fooled for a second.
Pretty convincing, right?
Convincing when you came in and your left earlobe was twice the size of your fucking forehead.
And we stopped the whole interview.
Dude, I don't even want to tell people what he was using.
Do you know those little key?
What are they called?
Keyrings?
Yeah.
This guy got mercury poison.
He's definitely something.
100%.
Did you not listen to the electro thing that we were talking about the other day?
That's how you get the illness.
Oh, that's the 5G.
That's the 5G.
It's going to get to your fucking ear.
So we actually have Mark Gagnon in the building.
He's joining us here.
And so it's not the Tiger King, but I do want to open this up for an interesting Tiger King discussion because I was absolutely fascinated by the doc.
Have you finished the doc?
Yes.
Okay.
Al, have you come close to finishing it?
Yeah, just about.
Now, anybody who hasn't finished the documentary, there's nothing that is ruined by us talking about this.
They tell you the ending at the beginning.
Yeah.
The documentary is not about the ending.
The documentary is about the absolute craziness that transpires over eight episodes or seven episodes, seven episodes of this show.
If you haven't watched it, you can stop this podcast right now and go watch it.
I would not be offended at all.
You'll come right back to it because you want to have a conversation about this.
There's some fascinating characters about it.
If you don't know what's going on, you will within a day.
Everybody's texting their friends.
I don't think Netflix could have picked a more perfect time to drop this.
Yeah.
Because right now we want a fantastical form of distraction.
And you cannot believe what this is is real.
You cannot believe it.
You know why I also think it's brilliant?
You know what my main gripe with it was?
What?
It's too long.
But if you're quarantined, you got nothing better than you.
Did you think it was too long?
Hold on on that for a second because I was.
It might be a personal thing where I don't like see it at all.
No, what are you talking about?
I got up to episode five.
No, I saw his face when you said, did you finish it at all?
He goes, I came close.
And then I just kind of smirked at him because I was like, I know he didn't enjoy it.
Maybe white people enjoy it more or something.
I don't know.
Oh, I have it there.
They enjoyed this shit way.
But I don't like making a murderer.
Did you notice how many black people were in the documentary?
There was one?
Yeah.
Which one?
The guy that was going to vote for Tiger King.
Oh, that blew my mind.
He could be as good as any of us.
And I think Doc Antel had a black girl or like brown girl or something.
She was some kind of.
Nah, there was a dark girl.
There's a dark girl.
They start to look darker when there's none of them around.
Everyone starts to look at it.
That's how Sicilians are like, no, we're black.
But I just don't.
Making a murderer was another like seven-part thing that I just quit on in episode three, too.
Maybe it's a white thing.
It might be because I was just like, I'm going to do this because we're talking about it.
It's the number one show on Netflix right now.
Literally number one in America.
Let's talk about it.
Let's finish it.
And it wasn't awful.
But I had to fight to get through it a little bit.
Are you fighting?
Get through this shit.
This is optimal.
I was sad when it finished.
Optimal white.
Okay, go on this talk about us.
White guys playing with guns and animals that can kill them.
Yes.
And then you have women, white women, complaining about shit that has nothing to do with them.
Like, for example, this bitch who's complaining about what this other guy's doing with fucking tigers and shit like that.
It's not saying the word rescue.
She's just mad that she couldn't be the tiger bitch in the beginning because she just didn't have that game.
So it's like, oh, now my thing is going to be rescuing tigers instead of trying to be.
We'll talk about her later, but I don't necessarily agree with that.
But continue your point.
But this is just optimal whiteness because it's just like white people whiteboarding.
Like at its most peak level.
It is peak whiteboy fun.
It's death-defying shit.
They're gay.
They're talking about shit that has nothing to do with it.
Ain't that peak white boy fun?
Guns, animals, and fucking each other.
Son, peak white boy.
You go on black Twitter right now.
We're looking at this shit.
It's like, yeah, what the fuck is that?
Can I just say something?
Al's disgusted.
I was so not a judgmental guy.
I was so mad that this was something we had to watch for this.
Like, I'm trying to stay up for this bullshit last night.
I'm trying to stay up for this bullshit last night.
I was like, I can't believe Drew is this engaged in this bullshit.
I love my people.
I know.
I love my people.
I love my culture, bro.
Yeah, bro.
It is.
First of all, I could not disagree with you more.
I think it's the best thing that's been on TV in the least 10 years.
At least 10 years.
You also love The Bachelor.
Listen.
No, Bachelor's fire, too.
So I know.
The Bachelor's fire, bro.
You don't think The Bachelor's.
What do you like on TV?
I've never watched The Bachelor.
What?
I've never watched an Abashrin.
You can start.
I'll tell you.
Yeah, you're missing out.
So let me explain why it's so fucking amazing.
Because it's wrestling, but real.
Doc Antel is a wrestling character.
The Tiger King is a wrestling character.
Carol, to a certain extent, is a wrestling character.
All these people are extreme versions of human beings that you don't get to see.
Like, you see a wildlife bitch every once in a while.
Like, one of your friends really likes animals or something like that.
Like, Whitney Cummings loves animals, right?
And, like, we talk about animals.
Even Whitney don't even like cats.
But Whitney likes animals, right?
And like, you talk to them, you tease them, et cetera.
But you never get to fully experience the extremes of this, right?
A tiger trainer, we've heard of Sig 3 and Roy and these motherfuckers, but we're not talking about someone who owns 200 fucking tigers who it costs $10,000 a month to feed them.
They don't have $10,000, so they're getting the Walmart food that falls off the back of the truck to feed them.
And the employees are also eating the same food the tigers are eating.
Like, shit is so mind-boggling about this documentary.
Oh, yeah, white trash.
It's absolutely bad.
That's what I think that minorities would like it because you get to see white people you could feel better than.
Just turn on Maury.
Say again?
Just turn on Maury.
This is Maury with Tigers.
Like, Maury with Tigers.
How can you not like that?
So that's just like, that's it.
That takes half the population off.
That's it.
I think that minorities are too homophobic to appreciate the greatness in his characters.
But what I loved about this is it showed that, like, to be honest, it showed a side of Southerners.
And I think they tried to lean into this.
But, like, there's always this idea of Southerners.
Like, they're like, you know, I'm spitting.
I'm like spitting out my fucking dip.
I don't care about anything but my freedoms.
One of your freedoms is you get to do whatever you want with your time.
And I think that the show kind of demonstrated that these hillbilly ass hick Southerners who are supposedly hanging black people from trees and beating the shit out of and murdering gay people, not only were they okay with him being gay, they actually were willing to vote for him for governor.
He came in third in the race just because he didn't give a fuck and he said what was on his mind.
And I really think that there's this fraction that's not even that small fraction of Southerners that we've been told in New York and California that they're just super racist.
They hate everybody.
It's not Christian, this, that, the other.
But they were like, okay, he's gay, but as long as you do that shit at your house and I don't got to see it, I don't give a fuck.
And they all went to his fucking Thanksgiving.
They all went to his park.
They took their kids to his park.
They knew he was gay the whole time.
And I thought it was this really interesting observation about like Southerners where you saw even those like the dudes that he was gay with, they weren't gay.
They were addicted to meth, right?
I mean, they were exploited, yeah.
And they were exploited.
But you really saw the exploitation happen on all, on all levels.
You know what this show is?
What?
It is White Trash Game of Thrones.
Oh my God.
Akash, what a fucking take.
That's what it is.
It is White Trash Game of Thrones.
This Carol bitch is Cersei.
Oh, Jess is Littlefinger.
Oh, Akash with some hot fucking takes today.
That's his name.
The guy that snitched to the feds.
That's Verus.
You know what I mean?
Trying to do the right thing.
Look kind of like a woman.
The motherfucker looked like Fortune Feimster.
I got to be.
We got a full of a side by side, please.
Tell me the same Fortune Feinster.
Put it in the podcast.
And Jeff Lowe is little finger.
Little finger.
Complete little finger.
Exploits everyone, moves from person to person like a fucking parasite.
And he will eventually get his, but it's going to take a long time.
It's going to take a while.
So I was talking to Tim Dylan about these characters because I was most fascinated in the whole Tiger King were the characters of the con artists, the Jeff Lowe types.
And I was like, explain to me what they are, right?
And Tim was kind of breaking it down.
He goes, so these people are con men.
Yeah.
And they operate on the fringes of society, right?
And they operate around pseudo-legal businesses.
So owning a zoo is legal, but breeding the cubs is obviously illegal.
And selling these tigers is illegal.
So when that is the majority of your business, and that was the only way they could make money, you can't exactly get legal money to support that.
So when you need money and you need support, you have to go through illegal means.
So what these people do who operate on these fringe businesses, the Jeff Lowe types, is they find at-risk businesses.
So just like an investment company would find an at-risk company, you know, like Mitt Romney has made all his money finding at-risk businesses or businesses that are in debt, buying them, and then flipping them around.
That's what, what is it, is a company called something capital?
Bane capital.
Bane capital, right?
Literally all Bang Capital does.
So Jeff Lowe is the illegal business side of Bay Capital, right?
He goes in with confidence.
He has maybe people who support him, right?
Oh, I got you.
I'm going to be your saving grade.
Hey, you know what, Carol?
There's a moment in the documentary where he goes, fuck, fuck you.
We're American.
We got to be free and we got to stand up for our freedoms and we're going to take you down or some shit like that.
And he pays a $35,000 something.
There's some debt that was built up.
I don't know.
He basically writes a cashier's check, comes in to save the day.
Oh, yes.
Right?
Yeah.
Takes them to Vegas and shows them all the cool Vegas shit, right?
Obviously, he's using the Tigers to get some pussy and that kind of stuff, but he's running the con there.
Oh, yeah.
And the con starts, and the way that he's going to separate him from his business is you get in enough debt where you have to sign the business over to me.
But I say, remember, I saved you last time?
Yeah.
And it's just, look, you're already transferring ownership.
Just transfer it to me.
She can't get to me.
And why would you not transfer me?
I spent that $35,000 off my pocket to help you to support yourself.
And we know when he fully, when I imagine Joe Exotic's eyes lit up and was like, this is my savior, is that phone call?
That's when it's fully set.
This is the fucking guy who stood up.
He's got money.
He's going to do everything I want.
He's on my side.
This is America.
He fucking tugs on your heartstrings, but this is America.
And you're a cunt, which is what he's been saying.
Yeah.
And your fucking bitch husband or whatever.
And then he's just like, this is the guy.
This is my savior.
And what did the people at the park start saying?
After that, it seemed like it was the Jeff show.
And Joe would do whatever Jeff wanted.
He was kissing up to Jeff, et cetera.
And what's really interesting about it is you can't feel too bad for Joe because that was Joe's plan with all the employees.
And with his husbands.
Oh, in particular.
With his husbands, with his employees.
Yeah.
And with the cats.
Yeah.
Joe is exploiting everybody.
And then as soon as he gets exploited.
So we can't feel too bad.
No.
Right.
So his whole business based on exploitation.
Yeah.
Then this guy comes and exploits him, but he's aware of it.
And that's how Jeff probably goes through his life.
He goes, well, I don't have to feel too bad taking advantage of these people who take advantage of people for a living.
They know the game.
I'm just hustling you.
Comes in, separates him, get him.
I mean, literally, the Joe Exotic got his mom to spend her last, they barely show that.
It's very, did you guys see that part?
That might have been zoned out.
So it's a very short part.
Probably the only person I felt bad for in this entire episode.
Parents of both.
Carol's parents and Joe's parents.
Well, what happened with Carol's parents?
Not Carol's parents.
Her ex-husband that she killed.
Yes.
Yes.
They got taken.
Yeah.
Completely got taken.
And I mean, so he fucks over.
He's a piece of shit guy.
They make him seem nice and charismatic.
I think they do a really good job of positioning him to be likable.
And I think you need to do that or else we won't follow him.
Joe Exotic Disappearance 00:15:36
Yeah.
But he's a piece of fucking human garbage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This guy.
And when Jeff came in and like noticed it and figured out and separated from the business was genius.
And Tim pointed out something interesting.
He goes, you could see the hustle being played again at the end with the Tim Stark guy.
Yeah.
Did you guys get to that?
He brings him in.
Yeah.
And he's like, oh, yeah, I'll set this whole thing up.
And then immediately it goes awry.
Yeah.
So that Tim Stark is the other zoo guy, and they're going to build a zoo together where they're going to move the zoo.
And Tim's like, yeah, we're going to do it.
We're going to take our thing together and he's going to provide this.
And then Tim caught up to it.
The Tim Stark guy.
Yeah.
Caught up to it.
He goes, I'm doing all the building.
I've put up all the money.
I'm providing all the animals.
He hasn't done shit.
I'm out.
I think he pulled out because he realized the hustle, but that's the fucking hustle.
He knows that he can do business with Tim Stark because Tim Stark is operating illegally already.
What are you going to do?
Rat me out?
Yeah.
You're going to say that I stole your money to the government?
Well, guess what I'll say?
All these animals you're breeding, right?
Yeah.
100%.
It's like when you accept money from the mafia and then they start stealing from you, who you go to?
Yeah.
You can't go to nobody.
It's a fat.
I would love to get like an expert.
Maybe we'll have Tim call in and talk to us about this, but like, I'd love to learn about these con men.
Yeah.
And the balls that they fucking have.
So I wonder what's your hierarchy of shittiness on the show?
Okay, what did you go for?
Well, I'm thinking like, I think Jeff was the shittiest one.
Jeff is Jeff Lowe.
Yeah.
I thought Carol was the shittiest because she positions it as an animal rescue and nothing about that seemed any different than any zoo.
Okay, go.
And so my girl's a big like animal rights person and a little bit of that is rubbed off.
I feel a little bad for the cats, but generally speaking, whatever.
I just don't like, hey, this is a rescue.
Hey, guys, come pay money to watch whatever, and then you can look at the animals.
Also, I'm making $25,000 every week on Facebook.
And it's a rescue, but in reality, it's just a zoo.
And who played their employees the least?
Oh, all their employees were paid nothing.
They're volunteers.
They're volunteers.
Carol paid the least.
Carol paid the least.
That's a cult in itself.
It is a cult.
And she looks like a cult bitch.
Oh, hey, there are cats and kittens.
This is the other thing I was going to say.
My girl hops in the middle of the middle.
So we got to start every episode.
Hey, there are cats and kittens.
My girl hops in like sees episode six or something, and she's like, what?
Big cat rescue.
I know that.
That's where there's this IG girl, Yo Ventura, who's always like petting baby tigers and shit.
And she was like, I think that's where Jo Ventura is always going to pet the tigers.
So your whole fucking point is you shouldn't be allowed to pet these animals.
But there's this IG thought who can just come in and pet them whenever she wants.
Oh, you're a PR.
You're doing the same shit, bitch.
Don't think it's different.
And we saw the videos where she used to be a breeder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was just a failed breeder.
It's like, oh, I don't know how to make this business work.
So let me just go against everybody else.
And to that point, if you noticed, and they had a little snippet of this at the end of the final episode, you know a lot about people based on their intentions when they start, right?
Like when we all start comedy, we're very pure.
Yeah.
Right?
And then certain things might get in the middle of it.
Money gets in the way.
Reality kind of gets in the way.
Reality gets in the way, whatever it is.
But when you start, you're actually really pure with comedy, right?
When Joe started, there's a little snippet.
There's an old black and white footage where he goes, he goes, you know, these animals are only supposed to be in Asia and India.
And, you know, we got to control breeding.
And, you know, There's a little snippet of him because he started pure, right?
Yeah.
And we'll get to why these people are drawn to animals in general.
But like, there was a real purity to him.
Carol started impure.
Impure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she found a mask for that impurity.
I think with Joe, it was almost like the ring.
Remember, Lord of the Rings?
Like, the more you get addicted to the ring, the more it turns into it.
And I think that's what happened.
It's like all of a sudden, you got 20 fucking tigers that need $10,000 a month worth of food.
You go, I got to find a way to feed these motherfuckers.
So you do the cub petting and then you do it more and more and it becomes more and more normalized.
Yeah, you're making a little money and why not?
And what's also interesting is they talk at the end.
Everybody could go right now.
They got information.
Joe Exotic is snitching on everybody.
Everybody's in trouble except this bitch.
She's the only one.
She's fucking Marlow in the wire.
I'm done.
I'm clean.
She's, she got it.
Like, she's a criminal.
Like, mastermind, master.
She killed her husband?
Yeah.
Yes.
That's what you guys think she did.
100% kill her husband.
100%.
You think?
Yeah, I think so.
There's no doubt in my mind that she did.
I mean, it's just so convenient.
And she benefited so greatly.
Like, she had a motive.
She had a way to do it.
And the will that said upon death or disappearance.
So the will was like, come on, son.
Come on.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
Explain that to anybody who's listening right now.
You probably explain it better.
But in her will, essentially, or the will that she had.
She was married to this guy, right?
She was married to this guy.
Married to a multi-millionaire.
Multi-millionaire, many different business ventures.
Marriage is falling apart.
But he was also interested in the animals first.
Yes.
Right.
And he liked these exotic animals, and then they both started to kind of get into it together.
And he saw it as a business with the cub breeding.
He wanted to do it in Costa Rica.
Marriage starts to fall apart.
He starts to get concerned.
He's like, yo, this bitch might kill me.
Like, I'm actually.
He starts to tell his.
Tried to file a restraining order.
He files a restraining order.
He's threatening to kill him.
And he tells his assistant, hey, if anything happens to me, release this.
Right.
And what was in there?
It was a will and testament or something like that?
Last ride.
Yeah, last rites.
Oh, no, no, no.
He goes, if anything happens to me, release this.
And it was him asking for a restraining order from his wife that was denied because you can't give a restraining order unless there's an actual threat.
She just said, I'm going to kill you.
Saying you're going to kill you is allowed because it's freedom of speech.
You're allowed to say that, right?
I didn't know that, Joe.
Oh, son.
I thought that's a cool thing.
Maybe if you watched it, you'd like it.
All of a sudden, you're fascinated by the sound.
You sounded like such a girlfriend.
Next up.
Okay?
So getting the claws out.
Give me some chocolate, babe.
So, um.
Maybe you fucking listened for once.
So, uh, uh, what's it called?
So, um, where were we?
Where were we?
The will.
Restraining order.
So the restraining order, everything like that.
Uh, the husband, right before he goes to Costa Rica, he's about to go to Costa Rica to do this like cub thing where he wants to like breed these cubs, maybe take the whole zoo and take it down there where it's much more legal or it's just not illegal yet because they don't know about fucking human beings breeding cubs.
It's a brand new country.
So she basically kills him right when he was about to separate her from all his wealth.
She kills him.
And then there's his fucking will that's in a lockbox in the assistant's office.
The assistant is not allowed access to her office.
Carol and her fucking lawyer, whoever it is, are in the office overnight.
They remove the wills.
She goes the next day.
There is no will there.
Like, this is so fucking blatant that he killed, she killed this man.
How the fuck does she get away with this?
And all of a sudden, whereas the assistant had power of attorney, that was a new document saying Carol has my power of attorney.
And power of attorney, explain what that means.
It means I can speak on your behalf whether you're there or not.
If I give you my power of attorney, you can go into my bank account and be like, hey, I have his power of attorney.
Give me all the money.
And what does the new will say?
No, it's not a new will.
Five years after someone's death, you can declare them five years after someone's disappearance, you can declare them dead.
Yeah.
Okay.
So five years and one day.
Yeah.
She says, I am the beneficiary, the sole beneficiary in this will.
She cuts his first family out.
Kids out, wife out, whatever.
Also, in the will, it said, upon my death or disappearance, all my assets go to.
It doesn't say death.
Really?
It just says disappearance.
That's the first line.
That's the craziest thing.
Because she could have faked his death or something.
Yes.
But instead, she had to fake his disappearance.
What kind of will says, if I disappear, all my assistants?
Have you ever been worried about disappearing ever in your life?
In my life, have I been worried about disappearance?
Yeah, you should have seen his reaction to magic earlier.
This guy doesn't care anything about disappearing or reappearing or guessing a goddamn card.
But seriously, it's a specific and absurd thing to say.
Yeah.
Right?
My disappearance.
Like, it's so obviously, blatantly her.
And I think the documentary tries to make it obvious and blatant.
Yeah.
And even through that, you're like, how the fuck has the FBI not investigated this at all?
The creepiest part is how rehearsed her excuses.
Oh, you remember?
So they show the clip from like the 90s, and she's like, yeah, the last thing he said to me was, get the truck ready.
And like the verb, the verbiage is exactly the same.
Yeah, get it ready early, early, early in the morning.
And then she says it like on the interview with them.
20 years later.
Yeah, she's like, yeah, he told me he was going to get up early, early, early in the morning.
And like the same exact word for word, creepy.
Bro, she's a murderer.
So she decided what her excuse was going to be, decided the verbiage, and then stuck to it completely.
It's not a memory.
It's a written, like.
Because memories change.
Yeah.
No, it's a written dialogue.
Those are the best criminals.
If your story never changes, you can't get caught.
So that's the other thing they say about like criminals, right?
It's like, or actually not criminals, about innocent people.
Innocent people don't remember what they're doing when crimes are committed.
Yeah.
Because it was a regular day.
It's a regular day.
They say innocent people are the hardest people to defend.
Because if I say, hey, what were you doing last Friday?
And you go.
At 11:30 a.m.
I don't know.
If I didn't have a specific thing, I'm like, I don't know.
So then, how the fuck do you have an alibi?
Yeah.
How the fuck you have an alibi?
And a lot of times it's not even last Friday.
A lot of times it's like, what were you doing two months ago?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you got to make some shit up that might not even be accurate.
Do you really think that if I go two months ago, what did I say to you at 11:30?
You're going to be like, oh, you said there'd be there early, early, early.
Yeah.
You're going to remember the exact sentence?
Yeah, she killed him.
That's why she's top dog out of all the.
She's number one.
Number two.
Joe.
I didn't like it.
Joe more than Jeff?
No, Jeff, Jeff more.
Jeff.
Why?
But Jeff, he was like, you knew who he was.
He was already a criminal.
He just looks like he wears affliction and shit.
Yeah, fucking hat.
He lit ugly hat.
He looks like a sketchy motherfucker.
What does Joe look normally?
Joe Exotic looks trustworthy.
I thought if I was gay, Joe could get it.
He wouldn't give it to you.
But yeah.
I got too many teeth, but I'm too tired.
Son.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Jeff.
Just Jeff.
Joe looks more friendly than Jeff.
Joe looks more friendly than Jeff.
I like Joe's limp better than Jeff's.
Jeff's walk.
But I'm saying, in terms of trustworthiness, neither one of them looks like a guy you want to do business with.
Jeff was just fucking people over left and right and left and right.
And I guess Joe was doing that too.
Maybe Jeff just had zero charisma.
So you're like, fuck this guy.
Zero charisma.
Yeah, he had zero chrism.
That's why it's like a constructor.
Because he fucked up in Vegas early.
Yeah.
Like, he had this scam going on for years.
So maybe you're right.
Maybe I was more like conned by Joe.
So I'm like, ah, he's not as bad.
Because I put him fourth.
Oh, wow.
I put it Jeff, then Doc.
Then I kind of like Doc.
I like Doc.
I like Doc, okay?
Doc is interesting.
Doc is cold.
That's the thing.
Cold and polished and broken polish.
Yo, it's almost like he was the only person that wasn't broken.
Him and Jeff also, that's another thing.
You could see how Joe was broken early on.
In episode one, Joe says the story, him coming out to his father.
His dad makes him shake his hand in front of his mom to say, when I die, you will not be at my funeral.
And that guy's broken from then on.
Most of these people were broken.
Jeff was not broken.
Doc was not broken.
Carol's just out of her fucking mind, I think.
Do you think she's broken, dude?
Oh, Carol's broken.
Remember the story?
Yeah.
I mean, I want to get into that.
Maybe we...
No, no, no.
Let's go through the rankings and then we'll get into that.
But Doc was interesting because Doc has done something, and I'm curious your take on this.
But like, you often see white people grab onto Eastern philosophy.
Yeah.
And then, well, I mean, you see you guys do it too, but like use the philosophy as a manipulation tactic.
Yeah.
Because apparently it's very effective to people who are empty.
Eastern philosophy fills fucking empty people up.
Like I remember when my brother was going through a really hard time, he got into Osho.
Yeah.
Do you remember that?
Like I think you and him were.
I only know it was Osho, but I remember he was talking to me about Hinduism stuff.
And I was Osho.
Yeah, okay, wow.
Osho is the guy who had the Wild Wild Country.
It's another one that I wasn't as into.
On Netflix, the Rajneesh people, they would all dress in the reds and pinks.
It was out in Oregon.
It's just vegans in the 70s.
But it was a whole cult.
They shot down.
Yeah, vegan.
No, that's a different one.
That was an Indian guy.
I was an Indian guy.
So, well, so was Rajneeshi.
Yeah.
So, like, he kind of tapped into this shit.
Yo, you know what it is?
And maybe it happens in India.
I don't know if it is.
But, like, maybe the type of person that comes to America is willing to do whatever the fuck it takes.
Interesting.
To win.
Is willing to sacrifice whatever he is.
Doc was born here, and he did the same thing.
Sure, because I think he's bred within it.
But like, were we having this discussion?
I can't remember.
But there's something about the people that come here.
Like, all of our parents that decided to come here, like, the immigrated here, made a choice to just leave their fucking families and never see.
Yeah, we talked about it on the podcast.
We talked about this on the podcast.
So there's a little fucking psychosis going on there, right?
Yeah.
My theory, though, because I'm watching this and I'm watching this guy like pervert my religion and whatever, and I'm thinking about Wild, Wild Country or whatever it's called.
And I'm thinking about this fucking yoga guy who's doing the hot yoga bikram and fucking everybody.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, why are these people, not the manipulators, the manipulators?
He's usually getting rejected by everybody.
That was the saddest part of the Beacon documentary.
None of these bitches will fuck him.
We're easier to rape in India, I guess.
Usually, if you're a cult leader, you go get some pussy, right?
But girl after girl is like, nah, I was like, nah.
That's insane.
Now I actually want to watch this documentary.
You got to watch this documentary.
This guy was getting rejected like an Indian.
Hey, we take what we want.
But I was wondering, why are these people, broken people, so drawn to this Eastern thing?
And the easiest thing I thought of is it's just unique here.
You have tried Western religions here, probably.
They were broken in America and it didn't take.
But here's something.
That shit didn't work.
Here's the opposite.
This will work.
This sounds great.
I think potentially in India, there's people who would be taken by a Western philosopher of this and this and this, this cult, because it's like, well, I tried the Hindu thing and the Muslim thing.
I'm still in.
I'm still broken.
Nothing has helped.
Interesting.
So this is so different.
It has to work.
Because he was really leaning on this whole shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you feel a little disgusted?
It was gross.
I mean, I didn't like maybe another reason I didn't like him.
I tried to not make that too big of an issue because, like, who am I to give that much of a fuck?
But, like, I was like, I don't like seeing this.
Like, you literally call yourself God.
That's what we call God is Book One.
Molested Horse Relationships 00:14:43
He's a legend.
He's crazy.
That guy's a legend.
It's like he's just the ultimate pimp.
So, ultimately.
He really is.
I'll give him this.
He was pimping privileged girls.
Yes.
It is.
It is a very important distinction, right?
Like, Shorty had her dad drive her to the zoo.
Like, if your dad's in your life to the point where he's dropping you off at the zoo, right?
You should be okay.
You should be good.
Like, I understand if you're on the fucking, like, on a stoop or you're on the bus corner and getting picked up by Joe, that's you have nothing left.
But this guy is taking privileged white girls, pretty much who are attractive and in good shape and then brainwashing them with this yoga shit mixed with, I guess, being around these tigers is somewhat addictive.
That's what somebody said.
They said, like, you can tell everybody once you get one in your hand, it's like, oh my God.
It's a tattoo.
I need more.
I need more.
And giving these people who are kind of bored purpose.
Like, I often notice like cult people, like the attractive, like white privileged girls that end up in cults are just kind of bored with life.
Yeah.
And remember when the girl kept saying, you just work all day?
Yeah.
Well, you can't be bored with life if I keep your ass busy for $100 a week.
Yeah, giving them purpose, right?
And it's the trueest purpose in a lot of ways.
Like, if we don't feed these tigers, they'll die.
Yeah.
Your nurturing attaps into like your need to nurture and all that shit.
You're a mother.
Yeah.
Can I ask you a question about white families?
Yes.
His father drops her off.
Yeah.
What was his advice?
Don't fall in love with him.
No, no.
Don't fuck your boss, right?
Or was it don't fall in love with your boss?
Don't fuck your boss.
I think it was don't fall in love with him.
I think it was don't fall in love with your boss.
Okay.
But then she says, like, basically, she makes it seem like you're trapped.
And I believe that as she was talking, and just now she's like, you know, you can't really get off.
You don't have time.
There's nobody to talk to.
Yeah, yeah.
Was it so normal to your dad that you didn't call for six months that he was just like, ah, she's probably having fun.
Like, if you can hear from your daughter that you dropped off.
This is why white girls fuck the Me Too movement up is because they don't understand what real rape is.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's like, the fact that this is my premise on inside jokes that we edited because we were like, yo, it's too much.
Well, now I get it after watching it.
It's like this girl, like, this girl fucked up.
My exact words.
Go find the footage we deleted.
This girl thought this was a real, like, I was punished.
I was like manipulated.
I was, I had to be here.
It's like, I don't know how I could leave.
What about when all those people drove up in cars every single day with their families?
Did you ever think about saying to one of them, could I have a ride out of here?
And then she had this justification for it.
She's like, what'd she say?
She's like, well, I mean, no cult forces you to stay.
Okay, bitch.
Then we shouldn't feel bad for them either.
She's talking about all her social ties.
I was like, what social ties?
Wait, what did she say?
She was like, yeah, she's like, they don't force you to stay.
They just make you sever all your social ties.
No, there's just a million social ties that keep you there.
And I was like, that thought crossed my mind.
I'm like, bitch, you just got there.
What is you and an Italian chick and an elephant?
That's your social circle?
You fucking idiot.
You and Babar, bitch.
You just beat it.
What the fuck are you waiting for?
Your dad's at home waiting for you.
Pick you up in the civic.
Also, if you ever had a real social life, you wouldn't be here.
It's like you never had social ties.
Like, that's why you ended up with me.
That's why I mean so much to her.
This is our only social tie.
Ah, so she first got her first social tie.
Yeah, maybe that's what it is.
I mean, I just did not feel bad at all.
And you got new titties, bitch.
The fact that, like, you got new titties, did you get them taken out immediately afterwards?
No.
I'm telling you, this guy's a legend.
This guy's a legend.
I don't, dude.
He's like Drake.
Drake Angel.
Drake.
I'm going to get you a new body.
I'm going to hide you out over here.
Nobody going to hear from you again.
Thank you.
No, but I just think privileged animal girls are a different thing.
Okay.
In general.
Like, I don't know.
Growing up, there was all these horse girls that lived around where I lived.
Do you know this prototype of a horse girl?
Does that make sense to you?
No.
Like an equestrian bitch.
Yeah.
Basically, yeah.
So it's like, they're just these girls that are obsessed with horses and like these horses become their identity.
And every single one of them without fail is a little weird.
They're a little bit off.
Yeah.
And I don't know exactly what molested.
I don't know what it is, dude.
I assume every girl that was in that documentary has had sexual trauma.
And I assume every single guy that was in that documentary has either had sexual trauma or is a drug act.
I also think, and I'm going to say this, and probably people listening will be pissed off.
If you like animals too much, you've had that.
You've either been.
You know what my next sentence is going to be?
She's been thinking a lot of girls are molested.
I'm going to be honest with you.
You're like, yo, this bitch got a fucking gazpacho soup.
I'm so glad.
Who likes a cold soup, this molested ass bitch?
I'm so glad you're a little bit more.
Low key, bro.
I'm so gazed.
Lokiba.
Lokibra, if you go to the restaurant and you go, can I have some gazpacho?
I'm looking at you like, oh, you've been finger at a young age.
Yo, that's an odd thing, baby.
I'm so glad you opened that window because that's really how I look at every person who's weird.
I was like, oh, you might have diddle.
I look at everybody like that.
Son, I think you might have got diddle.
Yo, well, yo, I was, bro.
By the girl at the pizza store when I was managing a pizza restaurant at 13 and a girl would sit on my lap and get my dick all hard.
Son, what's that?
Charlamagne talks about the best.
What's the white molestation?
You think that's molesting?
But here's the thing: I'm not in a whole documentary about fucking cats about it.
I'm dealt with my molestation like a fucking man.
A ton.
You got diddles only.
I didn't even get diddle.
I got backed up on.
Yeah, you got over the pants backed up.
Over the pants backed up.
By my boy Sandro's older sister.
Shout out to her.
Gave me some of my best boners.
To this day, I'm trying to get boners like that to this day.
But it didn't make me like animals no more.
That's why I wasn't a good moles.
If you know you got a good moles.
Yo, that's true.
Think about that.
You get fucked over so bad by humans that all of a sudden the only place that gives you unconditional love and affection is animals.
Bro, what were we talking about it?
Was it on?
Yo, okay.
I can accept that.
No, we were talking about on this.
That's the cats don't judge you.
That's why strippers and shit always love.
Go to any OnlyFans girl.
Okay.
Go to any OnlyFans.
Go to her page and look what her fucking issue is.
It's always being fucked up.
I believe it.
It's always animals.
Animal.
You be taking it mad far, though.
What are you talking about?
If you like animals, I'm going to be honest.
I think you got molested.
Yes.
Can I remove think?
When I say like animals.
No, but you got to like them crazy.
Like the obsessive, like, not just.
Don't let me get a pet.
If you just got a pet.
I need to double check.
Can I be honest with you?
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
You got done with Jeffrey Schultz.
All right.
He got a buck.
Can I ask you different animals?
Has motherfucking been molested?
Let me ask you.
You don't think he went his whole life without fucking, without getting a little dick when he was younger or something like that?
I don't even adore him.
I didn't even blame the molester.
Yeah.
He had taste.
All right.
Can I ask you?
I had the Indian meetup.
I had it coming.
Somebody's gonna get the touch real bad.
Okay, go, Mark.
I want to ask you, animals, you tell me what how much molesting you think they got to get there.
Okay, okay, go.
So, like, let's say you own a horse and you ride horses all day.
What happened to you?
I think that I think there's wealth in that identity.
That was daddy.
That's rich molestation.
You got molested by dad?
Daddy.
Okay.
But here's the connection with the horse.
You got to get the pony to make up for the molesting.
You thought my dick was big.
Benny don't seem so dramatic now.
What about what about like a big dog?
You get like a great Dane.
What happened to you then?
I think now, Great Dane is weird.
Great Dane is a specific taste.
I think if you get a protector dog that you're really close with, like Pitbull, that kind of shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think there's something there.
But again, it's the relationship with the dog.
Like, I think some girls, like, I think some white girls get a pit bull in the same way they wear like Air Force Ones.
Like, they're trying to tap into like this kind of street identity.
Broad City got they got pit bulls.
Of course, probably.
Exactly, though.
I'm assuming.
Exactly, right?
So it's like, oh, this is cool.
This is cool that I'm wearing this sneaker that really wasn't designed for me, but I'm tapping into this kind of like cool urban identity.
I'm talking about the love of the animal.
What if you got a hamster?
What happened to you?
I don't think it's possible to care about a hamster, but if you do care about a hamster, something is really awful.
I actually agree with you on the other side.
What did you have?
You got like a pinky finger?
Oh, like the amount of money.
He wants to know what the molestation was.
He wants to take it to scale.
Take it to scale.
He wants to scale.
If you want a hamster, and again, it's not about the pet you have, it's the relationship with the pet.
You love your woman.
Say again.
If you have a hamster, it had to be a woman.
What do you mean?
You got molested by a woman.
Oh, oh, that's a couple licks.
Let me think.
Did I ever want a hamster or anything like that?
You might have, dude.
Nah, but a girl got molested by a woman.
You didn't get molested, yo.
You had a great time at 13.
Hey, man, don't play down my trauma or whatever that is.
You know what I mean?
Like, a victim is a victim.
Hey, I'm out here, bro.
Stay molested.
Believe all Schultz's.
That girl's trying to act like she didn't feel my dick.
She saw that little saliva come out of me, dog.
You know what I mean?
I could have complained about getting a lap dance, too.
Bro, she's.
She's the person that would go to the strip club, be like, bro, these strewers molested me last night with their dog.
They was molested.
Oh, this hooker raped me, dog.
I paid her $300.
The bitch doesn't rape me.
She just raped me, dog.
Imagine I called that rape.
Imagine I was like, guys, rape culture.
Like, y'all be like, shut the fuck up.
But that's how I feel about some of these girls, man.
Real talk.
Dude, when you say.
Hey, you preaching in the choir, yo.
I know, bro.
You don't believe in rape.
I just don't even believe in it.
Hey, it's a billion of us.
All right.
Proof is in the pudding, guys.
Listen.
Like, is that how y'all?
We get results.
He's like, it's not a rape.
It's just a kink.
It's just what?
It's just a kink.
Get the fetish.
The tiger kink?
The tiger kink.
Okay.
No, in all seriousness, let's talk about this.
A weird relationship with an animal comes from something being empty.
You know.
Yes, there's something weird.
You know, you're taking advantage of the animal the same way that Joe is taking advantage of those.
If your closest relationships are to like buy like multiple animals and not any humans, like something's going on there.
Something's traumatic.
Right?
Because on some level, you are doing to the animal what Joe did to Travis.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, Joe said, Travis, you can't leave the zoo.
You can't do anything.
And hey, I'm going to feed you and I'm going to fill you with things that make you feel good.
Like you give your dog biscuits, you give your dog food, you rub your dog down, et cetera.
You kiss your dog.
The dog is not into humans.
It's into dogs.
Right?
And Travis wasn't into guys.
He was into girls.
But he needed to do whatever he could do to make sure he was fed.
I do feel like you're kind of taking advantage of your fucking dog, man.
Yeah, no, you're not wrong.
It's a weird relationship.
That's why.
You're not wrong.
I had a relationship.
I had a dog.
Yeah.
Did you get molested?
No, I had a dog, but I wasn't into it like that.
I was like, man, come on, bro.
Chills don't like people who are not self-sufficient.
He can't handle things that aren't self-sufficient.
Yo, that's a figure it out, yo.
I love how sufficiently selfed my girl is, bro.
Yeah, and I remember.
I didn't do anything.
I remember you had a cat for a little bit and you're like, yo, this cat is the best, takes care of himself.
My cats are horrible, dude.
They're just cold, fucking awful animals.
Yeah, but then what I did to that cat.
No, what'd you do?
It was the legit the worst cat I've ever met.
It was a bad cat.
It was so clear was Andrew's cat.
It was the biggest asshole you've ever met in your life.
Yeah.
That cat has been given away multiple times.
It was given to my girl at the time.
Yeah.
My girl and I live together.
My girl moves to California.
My ex moves to California.
I kept it.
Just on the same thing.
Biggest mistake you've ever made.
Huge mistake.
Biggest mistake you ever made in your life.
It was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life.
It was just petty.
She kept saying she was going to pick up the cat and never picked up the cat.
And I was like, the cat's mine, bitch.
Now I got this stupid ass cat, right?
Okay.
I move out.
I get my place.
I give it to my brother.
This shit is like sisterhood of traffic pants, bro.
It makes everybody's life worse.
I give it to my brother, right?
My brother and his girl got the cat.
My brother and his girl break up.
She dumbly takes the fucking cat.
And me and the rest of my family was like, whoo!
This is what an asshole this cat was.
I remember I stayed at Andrew's place once, and at the time he didn't have a bathroom door.
It was like broken or something.
If you're pissing, the cat would run into the jump into the shower and then leap at the curtain just to scare you while you're pissing.
Dead ass.
Multiple times he did it to the point where it didn't even scare me anymore.
I was like, I know what's coming, motherfucker.
Bro, when I was watching Tiger King and Doc Ansel was talking about cremating the fucking cats, I was like, I wish.
I wish.
Y'all never had this cat.
It was a fucking terrorist, this thing.
So why didn't you just keep the shower curtain open?
I didn't think about keeping the fucking shower curtain open.
Who thinks about pissing and then finding a fucking if it keeps doing that?
Just keep the shower curtain.
He's still going to be an asshole somehow.
He's going to find a way to turn it to cat.
Turn it out, motherfucker.
Try it out again.
Well, you got to pet it.
But it wouldn't even let you pet it.
It was a piece of shit, cat.
It's truly the worst animal I've ever seen in my life.
It was a bad.
It was a bad.
It was a bad cat.
Okay, here's my question.
Why is it wrong to euthanize a cat or a big cat, a tiger?
Like, if you can kill a horse when it hurts its fucking ankle in a race, why can't you just kill a cat?
They're endangered.
Yeah, but you keep making more of them.
Nature Hunting Justifications 00:02:38
One of the guys said the best.
Say again?
Illegally there.
But they're also, if they're born and raised in captivity, that's not the same as you got to like to get the numbers up in the wild is what matters.
So you got to like get the numbers or like make it to where they can go out into the wild.
Do we really want them in the wild?
I was asking myself that question.
I can ask to the people that have to live in the wild if it's not a little bit better without tigers everywhere.
I was asking myself that question.
Yeah, New York has no tigers.
And it's the best wild.
It's very easy for us to want tigers in the world.
There was this guy on Rogan, Jamie Metzel, hit a good point.
Like people nowadays talk about all the time.
He's like, oh, I just love nature.
And he goes, yeah, because we've killed all the animals that made nature suck.
Right?
You think the Aborigines run around Australia?
We're like, I love nature.
No.
Like, no, you're getting kicked in the face by kangaroos all day.
Yeah, you don't want that.
Nature's blue.
Yeah.
And then we murdered everything in nature and it got way better.
And if we start infusing these tigers and lions and shit back into nature, it could get bad again.
You know what you love about nature?
It's peaceful.
Keep going on nation.
You know when nature ain't peaceful?
When there's fucking lions and tigers and God knows what other animal coming at you.
Do caribou's ever look at peace?
These idiots bouncing around all the fucking time.
They got to evade.
Deer can't even drink water without shooting its fucking face up.
They have to drink at the fucking edge of the water because either crocodiles or lions or these types of people are going to come get them.
It is a horrible life.
A deer, they die by getting eaten.
Like, there's no deer that dies of old age.
Yeah, that's true.
Like, if you're a deer, you either get shot in the face by a hunter or you get eaten alive by a bear or some shit.
That's your whole life.
You are raised and you tell your kids, yeah, well, we get eaten.
That's what we do.
Fuck.
That's like a justification for a hunter.
They're like, well, either I'll shoot it and let it die immediately or I'll let it get eaten alive.
Legal hunting is actually good for population control and all that.
Like it's good for the ecosystem.
Yeah.
Because like sometimes we won't do that with people.
China will?
They won't allow hunting.
China's doing it right now, son.
But they're not hunting the people.
That would be fucking fun.
Son, you wild.
No, I'm just saying.
They're very densely populated places.
Just in terms of China.
Yeah.
Just in terms of entertainment, what would be more fun to hunt?
A human or an elk?
Human seems easy.
Yeah, honestly, dude, I don't think hunting would be that difficult for human beings at all.
To hunt a human?
Yeah, especially an Indian.
It's very easy to kill, yeah.
Because we don't hear as good as hell.
And you go after the calves.
You go after the young.
You don't get the full-grown ones.
You go after the ones singing on the street.
What?
Nah, but you don't shoot a baby deer.
You don't put a fucking baby deer head on your wall.
Human Or Elk To Hunt 00:15:27
It's got to be a fucking 10-point buck, like a big ass jerk.
I'm going to tell you, I take down a shack.
Yeah.
Take down wax, yo.
Dude, taking down shacks?
Shaq's head on your wall like this?
You crooked ass eyes.
Big old hog on your wall.
Would you text rubber him like the genie?
That's what I would do.
Make him Shazam?
Yeah, exactly.
Okay, so then thoughts about any final thoughts about the tiger?
Who are the best people?
Do you think?
Lauren Jeff's girlfriend.
She's brainwashed, too.
What a fucking retard that girl.
She might have been the stupidest girl.
She's a fucking idiot.
I mean, and then legend.
Absolutely everybody that got pussy.
Son, yes.
That's the only one who brainwashed women in 119.
He's like, yo, I love this.
Son.
Legend.
No, best people in it.
The one-armed Native American chick.
She looked great.
If you didn't have limbs, you were great in this game.
Oh, real talk.
That's my limb.
She was the best human being.
Yo, real talk.
So this girl loses her arm by getting bit by a tiger, gets ripped off, goes to fucking the hospital.
The whole news comes around, and then she goes, nah, fuck you guys.
I'm going back to work seven days later.
I want you to know right now.
If I lose my arm somehow on the job, a camera falls on my shit, I'm suing you for everything you have to do.
I'm not going to go, thank you.
I'm not going back to work seven days later for Joe Exotic.
You almost lost your ear, and that was your fault.
Okay, so your dumbass probably fucked your arm up in the first place.
Here's the thing about that girl.
She didn't have to lose her arm.
Yeah, they said two and a half years of reconstructive surgery, right?
Exactly.
Or we could amputate it.
And she's like, cut it off.
Cut it off because they're going to politicize me not being at the zoo to take down the zoo and take down the animals.
So I got to be in there a week later to show I still support.
He's a real ass bit.
Who's the dumb motherfucker who had bad legs and just kept walking on him until they had to cut him off?
I didn't understand that at all.
What the fuck was that about?
But he was fascinating that character with the no legs because he was highest IQ.
They were the campaign guy.
Also, no legs.
The campaign guy was great too.
Yeah, yeah.
No legs, great teeth.
This guy had fucking perfect teeth and no legs.
It's easier for him.
He's got less stuff to look after.
You're not clipping your nail, lost his feet.
But in Oklahoma, teeth don't seem to matter.
So, like, I think those are fake.
I think he had fake teeth.
Oh, because they were flawed.
Also, he's ex-military, right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So, I think, I think there was something there.
But maybe he got some like sort of stipend or some shit.
Who knows?
Or maybe he's getting military benefits because he had enough money to buy a Hummer, and everybody else was getting $100.
Even at the end of the movie, he's in this badass car flipping around.
Yeah, like he must have been getting paid more.
But he was an interesting guy, man.
Like, he was sharp and he had interesting perspective.
And, like, I was really curious about him.
Yeah.
And they didn't talk to him at all.
Remember?
Like, he was like, why?
I ran the park for 10 years.
Why would the prosecutors not talk to me?
Why do you think they avoided him?
He's too reasonable.
Maybe he would have said good things about Joe.
And if you're prosecutor, you're trying to prosecute.
Yeah, so you don't want to get anything.
He was just like, yeah, he basically was like, I know he did some things wrong, but I don't think he was behind the plot to kill or whatever.
And he was going to ride for him, bro.
He had a bullet with his name on it.
Like, he was going to, they were going to ride for each other.
You remember that part?
That was him.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
They were like, if any shit happens, we're going to kill each other.
Yeah, that's wild.
Wait, what?
You don't remember that?
No.
Maybe if you listen, Andrew.
Yeah, if you listen.
Yeah.
If you pay attention.
Yeah.
Sorry, babe.
You were thinking about getting leap dancers from girls when you were 13 all the time.
Man, she was doing it.
Boy, it was hard, bro.
No, he was like, if you, if anything happens in the zoo, we're going to kill each other.
And here's a bullet with my name on it and a bullet with Joe's name on it.
Because he was aware of all the fuck shit that was going on.
Like, if Carol tries to take us down, if whatever happens, like, we have a suicide bag.
They have a suicide pack.
But the dumbest thing about that is that both bullets were in his gun.
He's like, I saw you, Joe.
Now shoot me.
I'm like, all right.
What happens after the first shot?
Also, isn't there supposed to shoot me, Joe?
Aren't there six bullets in the chambers?
Like, how do you know which, you know what I mean?
This is just a symbolic thing, I think.
These weren't the smartest motherfuckers, bro.
So I think the most fascinating thing I took away from this was that Joe wasn't from Florida.
Because he's real Floridian.
I was shocked he saw the thing was in Oklahoma.
He wasn't from Florida.
The thing was in Oklahoma.
The farm was in Oklahoma.
It blew my mind.
And how far is Oklahoma from Florida?
It's halfway across the country.
It's one state after Texas in Texas is far from Florida.
That's a hike.
Yeah.
That's a hike.
Like the moment he started talking, I sensed he was gay and I was like, oh, he's gay and he's from Florida.
And I was shocked that I was wrong on that one.
Yeah.
Not on the gay one.
Yeah, now I'm thinking about this fucking guy in the pact.
Maybe that's how Joe manipulates.
I don't think that they gave Joe enough credit with his manipulation skill because, or they just wanted to make him seem reasonably likable.
But I think he was like a master manipulator, next level manipulator.
And I think that bullet shit was just part of it.
Yo, we're in this together, right?
Hey, we love each other, right?
We'll do anything for each other.
I would kill myself for you.
You can't fuck me over.
I would kill myself for you.
And that's why he got so tricked when Jeff was like, here's 35 grand.
Fuck you, bitch.
Remember it?
Because somebody was playing him.
Doing the same thing he did to other people.
But you would think he'd be aware of it, right?
And you think that somebody like Joe would understand who Jeff was.
Because Jeff can't, Jeff has to be known by these other characters.
He's too desperate at that point.
And nothing about what I you know what I think it is, bro.
I think that Jeff and then the other dude were working for the feds for a minute.
I think that they are like, you know how like Whitey Bulger was able to do his criminal shit even though he was an informant?
Yeah.
I think that's kind of how this operated.
I think Jeff was in with the feds and I think the other dude were in with the feds and the feds are basically like, yo, go do your shit.
But if we need to lean on you for something, we're going to lean on you for something.
Because I think Jeff, I think he wanted to kill Carol the whole time.
What's his face?
Joe.
But I don't think he was actually going to go through with it.
And I think Jeff was like, nah, we could get this done.
Because he hated Carol before.
But the reason why I don't think that because he was surprised when he went to the bank and the teller told him, like, oh, yeah, there were some feds that were asking questions.
And then he goes back to Joe.
He's like, yo, what the fuck?
Like, he looked through the books.
And now he was worried that he was going to get caught up by the feds.
And he's like, I already got a felony.
I can't get another felony.
Or the feds go to him and they say, hey, do you think he runs for governor?
He'll use some money from the park.
Well, that's the only money he's got.
All right, let him do it.
Well, then he's a good actor.
He's like very surprised.
Because Jeff got to keep the scent off of the trail, right?
He just looks so dumb.
I can't understand why you would think he's really.
I think he's a survival.
And if you're a con man, you could con.
And the guy's a con man.
That's what he does for a living.
He tricks motherfuckers.
But you don't have to be that smart to be a con man, though.
That's just like, you just have to find the one thing.
You got to find the mark.
Just the one thing, and every person who's like, someone's got to be more desperate than you are intelligent.
That's it.
And it's also a specific type of person.
Like we talked about pickup artists and you read that book.
They weren't going after every girl.
They went after, they would work with a specific type of girl that's kind of broken.
And it's just, this whole thing is just broken people exploiting broken people.
Yeah, I know that wasn't the idea with the book at all.
I'm pretty sure that was like.
Did you read it?
Yeah.
It was just like you're basically going after.
I'm just saying that book you read to me.
The book you told me about.
No, the book you practiced.
So the idea with the book was not, the idea of the book was to make every girl feel broken, not go after broken girls.
But it worked.
Like if a girl felt super validated, if you're like, oh, those shoes look comfortable.
Oh, gosh.
You think that they feel validated?
That's adorable.
No, I'm pretty sure he mentions that in the book.
That was something I remember picking up is being like, but anyway, the point is, this is broken people exploiting broken people.
Joe's broken.
His dad broke him.
That's why he felt drawn to animals in Florida.
Because it's like, oh, here's love I've never gotten.
This is great.
Whatever.
Oh, Joe spent time in Florida.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then he fled back to Florida.
So you were right.
He fled back to Pensacola at the end.
Yeah.
I'm good.
Yeah.
You know who's his most fascinating character that they barely touch upon?
The Cuban guy.
I want to see one on him.
Only him.
The guy who's the closest friends with Doc Antel, who was like a drug dealer?
He was a Cuban drug dealer who they basically made Scarface after.
That guy was dope.
Who stopped dealing drugs.
He did his time.
He beats the, I guess he guessed he wins the appeal, does 12 years, comes out, clearly has all his drug money.
Yeah.
And now he's just an exotic animal collector with a private suit that he doesn't allow people to go to.
And Miami just hanging out.
Burning $10,000 per cat a month.
I mean, with no money coming in.
With no money coming.
That's how much money he made off of the drug shit.
And what a way better story.
What's the movie?
Scarface would have been if you just kept it going.
Like, fuck, say hello to my little friend.
Show him your little friends.
Like, look at all these little friends that you have.
The snakes full of cocaine.
Just fucking swimming around.
Oh, yeah, that was dope.
They stuffed the cocaine in the snakes.
In the snakes, cut the snakes right the fuck open.
Genius.
You're wild.
It's wild.
You think he's still doing it, and that's how he's.
Yeah.
That's probably why we didn't hear more of his story.
Yeah.
But why?
If you're still doing it, you're not going to let them in.
No, because drug dealers are brazen.
They love shit.
They need that shine.
Doc calls him up and says, hey, Mario, like, these guys are making a documentary.
They're really cool for Netflix.
Come let them hang out.
So you make the place look nice and Disney World and they come in and check it out and that's it.
Did you notice how much the director hated Doc Antel?
You know, when they left it on little parts.
Explain that.
So it's like, so Doc's outside.
He's like, all right, so I'll just like open up the door and you guys can just come in and say what's up.
And then they're walking out.
They're like, I like the doc is directing us.
Like they got on some petty shit on doc.
And they did it like three more times.
Basically, before they press play on the camera, every single scene they left in what Doc would say before.
And before you start recording, you're an asshole.
Everybody's an asshole.
Before we start, I could be like, yo, we ready to go?
What if you kept in?
Are you ready to go?
I'm going to do that way.
Before every single episode.
But it was every single scene.
And the director fucking hated him.
And you know he's sitting in the edit like, how can I make this scumbag?
Can we talk about the director for a second, though?
Like, I think he started to get wrapped up in that world.
He started to like.
So there's two.
You're talking about Kirkman or the actual director of the documentary?
There's two, so maybe that's why I missed it.
The old man that looked like a detective?
Yeah, the one I think we're not seeing on videos.
Wait, which one is that?
This is Rick Kirkman, where he's like, yeah, the reality show.
It's kind of like a reality show.
Yeah, that guy.
Yeah, he also, like, got in it.
Some, where does he get his money from?
That's what I'm saying.
He's a broken con artist, too.
Oh, we were in talks with Networks to sell this shit.
He ain't talking to fucking nobody.
Then all of a sudden, Joe is like this sad guy.
He's like, you can't take my life.
He's like, well, actually, I own all the footage.
And I own your web show.
And I own everything you've ever done.
So it's like, what the fuck?
What's wrong with this guy?
Everybody who's conning everybody.
It is white trash Game of Thrones, son.
The footage destroyed.
How did they make this document?
Because he kept some of it because he burned the shit down.
Whoa.
You think it wasn't Joe?
You think it was Kirkman?
I think it was Joe.
You think it was Joe?
It makes it seem like it was Joe.
He's like, ah, let me go away when this happens.
Who benefits the most from it burning down?
Joe.
Polly Joe.
Unless Kirkman is like super in debt and he needs to recoup the money for the equipment or something like that.
Aren't you a retard to not back it up, though, for months?
He got months of footage.
There's no way he didn't back it up.
Nah.
That's why he has so much of it.
The amount that they were shooting.
Son, literally while we're shooting this right now, I texted Alex to put on the camera so we have a backup for this.
Yeah, but this is, you're talking about 20 years ago.
This is like...
No, it's not necessarily film, but it's like...
This is like five years ago.
Yeah.
I thought he was.
Nah, when they first started, they started like recording in seven, right?
Early 2000.
I think they say seven years ago.
You sure?
Yeah, he first started recording.
I think they've dig up footage from like 2004.
She married her second husband in 2004, the cuck.
Yeah.
Carol's cuck husband.
What a simp, dude.
Dude, I fucking died.
I thought he was riding with her during that time.
Oh, yeah.
He's a simp, but low-key, he's not.
Bro, he's a simp.
Not that.
Nah, he's riding this wave.
So you see his pants height, and you're like, oh, this guy's a nerd.
And you see the way he dresses on that guy.
You saw him on their wedding where he's wearing a fucking...
You see the picture where he's on his knees and she got him on a fucking leash?
He's dressed like Barney Rubble.
Because she got the money from the ex-husband.
Exactly.
He's just marrying Rich right now.
He's like, I'm going to do what you want.
Son is exploiting her.
That's the thing.
Yo, that's a great...
This is a great documentary about exploitation.
This guy was some fucking nerd, right?
Who came up on some girl who was needy, needed love, and needed a simp, someone she could feel safe with.
You think she's going to feel safe with an alpha?
She killed the last alpha, right?
She'll get left.
She needs someone that relies on her, someone that needs her for every single thing.
She needs a cat.
He used being a simp to his advantage, but he's a simp, though.
Yeah, he's a simp.
Are you a simp if you're using it to your advantage?
You're a smart simp, bro.
Smart simp.
He's a smart sim.
He's a smart simp.
It's like Michael Sarah.
He's like a simp, but he's like, oh, it's popping now to be a simp.
All right, I'm going to run with this simp shit.
But he's like through and through a simp.
I don't know, man.
Like, a simp simp would have gotten scared when there was some death threats and like, peaced out.
That motherfucker rode through the death threats, collected the money.
Like.
Jon Snow.
He was a bit of a simp.
What kind of life is this?
Jon Snow.
Nah, nah, nah.
I can't put up with that.
I'm just letting Daenerys just like tell him everything, like what to do.
But then he had a dragon pussy.
He killed the bitch.
What you talking about?
That's what I'm saying.
So smart simply.
Watch the simp motherfucker.
Watch Carol going show up missing soon.
Watch.
What kind of life is that?
That you can be in here.
Cats all over the house.
The whole fucking thing is cat furniture.
That's the life he wants.
Son, all he's seeing is 23,000 coming in from Facebook every day.
What's he doing with the money?
Buying cargo shorts?
Watch when the middle of the money.
He's mean his Docker's collection.
He looks like he works at mini golf, dude.
What's he doing with these millions of dollars?
This is her money.
Watch.
Watch and see, bro.
Watch.
It's going to be a part two.
This motherfucker's got cool.
I guess we'll watch.
This berry top cider collection is stupid.
Dude, he's killing him, bro.
The talk shoes.
My man was legit and never phased the entire time.
Cool, calm, collected.
Trying to work out the deal.
He's like, yo, deal with me.
Don't worry about her.
We can work.
Yo, you don't realize he's the biggest pimp of all?
This dude got no.
He got nothing to do with the beef.
Like, he is.
He don't give a fuck about stats.
He just wanted to smoke.
He wanted to smoke.
That's the most alpha thing.
And then he sings to her at the end after he wins the day.
Sang to her.
Like a simp?
Like a simp?
Simps don't sing.
Roasting New Patrons 00:01:15
Yeah, they do.
Serenade this bitch for you.
Serenaded this bitch.
I want to know what's going to happen with these millions of dollars because right now he ain't spending none of it.
Who?
The simp.
What you know.
You don't know that.
I look at the motherfucker.
I did look at him.
Gotta look like Rick Moranis.
And you can tell me he's fucking out here making money.
Gotta look like Egon from Ghostbusters.
And you can tell me he's out here spending all this money millions of dollars.
He's a legend.
Fucking lens crafters glasses.
He's a legend.
All right, guys.
This has been another episode of Flagrant 2, man.
Hopefully, we gave you guys some distraction, some drama, some intrigue, gave you a nice little look into the Tiger King and the world in which he lives.
We love y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
We'll see you guys on the Patreon this Friday.
Shout out to all the new patrons that just signed up.
Yo, shout out to you guys for the roast.
Great idea, Al.
Oh, yeah.
I'm glad you guys like the roast, man.
We're going to keep it up.
We're going to keep shit interesting over there on the Patreon.
So we'll cook up something fun for you guys this Friday.
And stay tuned to Twitch.
We might have that stuff coming soon.
Oh, yo, we're probably going to get a little Twitch going.
We're going to make sure you guys are thoroughly distracted during this quarantine, man.
That's on us to do that.
So peace, love.
And uh,
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