Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the pandemic's economic fallout, mocking a $20 Venmo request to "Vaccine" while debating pharmaceutical delays and rising childcare costs. They analyze how bailouts prop up failing businesses like airlines through stock buybacks rather than aiding workers, contrasting Trump's offensive economic focus with his defensive neglect of preparedness. The hosts predict older populations fleeing cities to avoid contagion, likening the virus to a wartime threat, and conclude that societal shifts regarding borders and independence are accelerating as capitalism adapts to this new crisis. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
Naming the Quarantine Chronicles00:02:54
What's up, people?
Welcome to another episode of We Don't Have a Name for This.
Okay, Corona Side Chat.
Some people are calling it the Quarantine Chronicles.
I don't know what it is.
We haven't named it yet.
We'll name it at a later date.
And I just hope you guys are having the Kawaran time of your life.
You see what we did there?
The buns keep running.
The buns keep running over here, baby.
It's Alex Media's birthday, so make sure you wish him a happy birthday.
Happy birthday, Al.
Alex Media with two exes on all socials.
Thank you.
Let's get right into it, man.
People are trying to make money off the Rona.
I got a Venmo request for $20 from Vaccine.
Yeah.
Some people are trying to profit off our dire need of a vaccine.
And I'm not just talking about the pharmaceutical companies that do that every day.
I'm talking about regular human beings are trying to profit.
And I will be honest with you, I sent that Venmo request for $20.
I still haven't paid Eden from three weeks ago for doing all the podcasts that we do, but I immediately sent that Venmo request because we all got to do our part.
I don't know if they got the vaccine.
You just funded terrorism.
That's exactly what I did not do.
Okay.
I'm trying to stop this bioterrorism.
But people at home, let me tell you something.
A great question that everybody's been asking is: where is the vaccine?
Okay.
I was doing a little reading, and it turns out some people believe they have it.
And by people, and I'm not talking about like 4chan or like these, you know, Reddit nerds.
I'm talking about actual pharmacies or like not pharmacy, pharmaceutical companies.
They believe they have the vaccine.
Here's the problem.
I know what everybody's watching right now.
I know you guys at home are watching right now.
You're like, okay, they have the vaccine.
Why don't they just give it to us?
I'll tell you why.
They don't know the long-term effects.
What if they give the vaccine to everybody and then two months later, we all die from it?
Now you gave the entire world a death sentence.
Only one or two percent of us was going to die from Corona.
Now all of us are dead.
So that's the tricky thing with vaccines, right?
You don't know the long-term effects.
Usually, I think they create a vaccine and then it's at least a year, right?
They test it on animals and they start testing on humans.
They've jumped right to the humans.
And obviously, we're all thinking the same thing right now.
It's like, yo, if one of these old people are going to die, you might as well just hit them off with the vaccine.
If they die from it, we know it kills them.
If they don't die from it, we know it's good.
And I completely agree.
But these pharmaceutical companies, they're not feeling that way.
But yeah, they're rushing to human tests and they're actually paying people.
They're paying people a pretty good penny.
Yeah, they're paying people like $450 to do it.
And honestly, probably a lot of people would have done that before this week.
All the politicians started saying, yo, we could give you $1,000, $2,000.
They're like, oh, I'm good.
I'm good on that injection.
I'm going to chill at home.
Testing on Humans Immediately00:05:04
Play 2K or UFC's fight night, whatever that shit was.
That game is amazing, by the way.
You guys should check that game out.
Intense.
Not an ad.
But here's the thing: so, a lot of people have been asking about what are the effects of this, right?
What are there going to be the effects on relationships?
You see a lot of like people posting about relationship problems.
Will it ruin marriages?
I don't think it's going to ruin marriages at all.
I actually think it's going to make marriages 10 times better.
I'll tell you why.
Man, there's something in our composition that makes us think whatever we do is the hardest thing.
Okay?
Whatever we do is the hardest.
Our wife could never possibly understand how hard our job is.
I have a friend.
He literally watches basketball for a living.
This guy thinks he has the hardest fucking job on the planet.
Guys, I can't talk.
I got to go watch the Orlando Magic play the Knicks.
I mean, that might be worse than dying from coronavirus watching that game.
That being said, it's not the hardest thing.
I literally call my boy today, right?
I'm like, hey, how are you doing?
He picks up.
He's exhausted.
He's groggy.
He's like, man, man, this shit is rough.
And I'm like, what, the quarantines, you know, got you down?
He goes, nah, man, these kids.
This guy just hadn't taken care of his kids yet.
He literally worked every day of the three years they've been on this planet.
So he just hadn't babysat his kids for an extended period of time.
He's like, son, this is breaking me down.
I cannot handle this shit anymore.
Taking kids is taking care of kids is stressful.
He literally goes to me, he goes, Yo, this is going to change the markets.
Because my nanny is looking me in the face and seeing me struggle.
And she's going, ooh, I'm about to get a raise when this shit is over.
You're not going to praise Gouge now, but if you're a nanny or a babysitter, the people that are paying you, those parents or the kids you watch, are finding out exactly how valuable you are right now.
So the second this whole shit is over, be good during this shit.
Everybody's stressed financially.
Everybody's strapped.
But the second those folks start to make money again, let them know: hey, inflation, baby, we're going to have to boost them prices up.
Okay?
You can't be out here doing the same work for the same amount of money as inflation goes up.
Okay.
Only strippers would be dumb enough to do that.
Strippers still dancing for $1.
$1.
Come on, yo.
Come on, yo.
At least step it up to Portland with the $2 situation.
Yeah, Portland was slick.
They literally took out $2 bills so we could tip the strippers, which I was too high to even tip any of them.
I got so like, whatever.
We didn't tip a dollar.
So, but it's an interesting thing what's going on when you see what happens with this corona.
Now, I find it very funny how much can change in a month, right?
Literally, if we go back a month ago, everybody thinks back a month ago when times were normal, times were regular.
I mean, people are dying in China, but we've never cared about that.
So we just completely ignored it, right?
A month ago, people were saying, How dare Trump build a wall?
Brexit.
What are you talking about?
Brexit?
We're the European Union.
We're all these countries together, right?
Now, close the borders, admit nobody in, nobody out.
How dare you even think about letting anybody in or out of your country?
What are you fucking crazy?
Right?
A month ago, guns killed people.
How could we even have guns?
Now there are lines around the block, hipsters buying guns on fucking electric bicycles.
Who would ride an electric bicycle?
Get a motorcycle like a man.
That's an inside joke.
Some of you might understand.
All this like independent women shit, that's out the window.
No woman wants to be independent during a quarantine.
You want that quarantine, babe.
Be honest.
Yep.
You won't be lonely.
Ain't no to the left, to the left.
Is what can I do?
Can I make you some breakfast?
Can I help you out?
Is there anything I can do to provide?
Do you know how to cut hair?
Yo, real talk.
Women, I know there's a lot of women out there that know how to cook.
I know there's a lot of women out there that know how to clean it, and you guys are killing it during this little quarantine situation that we got going on.
But if you could also cut hair, we might have to risk it on some barbers, bro.
I'm getting a little wolfie out here.
Al, how are you doing?
That's why I'm behind the camera.
You're lucky, right?
I got to be out here in the front where they just see me turn into the fucking wolf, man.
No, this is going to be bad.
But yeah, man, it's a different time.
It's a different time.
A lot can change.
And maybe America, maybe we all needed this, or maybe the first world, the second world, whatever it is.
Maybe we all needed this kind of like reckoning.
We needed this like realization.
You know, we've been living in this completely false dream world for so long.
We just got comfortable.
Yeah.
And I'm liking it, so you know what?
There is a difference, but it's like we were before what it was while I try to explain to people is like we were peeing on ourselves, right?
And when you piss your pants, it's actually warm as long as you're pissing.
But when you run out of pee, it gets cold and uncomfortable.
And that's what happened.
America's Needed Reckoning00:15:12
We ran out of P, right?
And now we're just sitting here in these soggy, dripping fucking pants, and we're miserable.
And we're doing everything we can to dry up those pants.
I just want to let you know.
What an analogy.
There's a lot of things drying up.
Dude, I'm telling you, there's a lot of things drying up.
Everybody thinks it's all negative.
It's not all negative.
Do you know what I mean?
You're getting cameos for the low.
Ooh.
Yeah.
You think the stock market's low?
You think the Dow Jones is low?
Go check out Cameo, bro.
Your favorite artist from the 90s?
$10 a pop, guaranteed.
Go check out what 98 Degrees is doing on Cameo.
You have Nick Lachey say whatever you want to you for $5 guarantee.
Go look at, listen, I'm not on Cameo, but go look at the prices of Cameo and see how those have fluctuated.
I guarantee that that bottoms out before the stock market.
Cameo is going to be serious.
If you don't know what Cameo is, good time.
So, all right, let's talk about the economy for a second because there's a lot of conversations about like what's happened to the economy and these bailouts and people want to give every American $1,000 or $2,000 or, you know, are we in a recession?
All these different things.
So let's talk about it just in its most basic terms, right?
And I wrote this down just so I could be extra clear about it.
But the way capitalism works, and especially our economy works in its most basic terms, is we buy goods or services, and then the people who receive that income then spend it on other goods and services.
Okay.
So when there is no money, all of that grinds to a halt.
For example, right?
Let's say the people get laid off from their restaurant job.
Okay.
They no longer have money to purchase goods and services, right?
They no longer have money to go to a restaurant, right?
That restaurant no longer has income from people purchasing things in the restaurant, right?
So the restaurant can't function.
The people can't function.
The restaurant has a loan from a bank that has got to pay back.
But now it has no money coming in.
So it can't pay back that loan.
The people maybe have a loan for their home, the apartment that they live in, right?
They no longer have any wages coming in, so they can't pay that loan back, right?
Now the banks don't have any money coming in.
Now, when you and I go to the bank and we try to take some money out, the bank goes, oh shit, we don't have your money.
We go, why not?
He goes, oh, the way that we operate as a bank is we lend out your money to other people, make a little bit of profit on it.
And well, those people didn't pay back the money.
We went back.
The whole economy falls apart.
That is worst case scenario.
That's not going to happen.
But the way that they're trying to avoid it is with this bailout talk or this $1,000, $2,000 to every American talk, right?
What a bailout is, is essentially you give the money to the business and then that trickles down, right?
So you give the money to the guy who owns the restaurant and then he pays all his employees.
And then those employees have money to go purchase goods and services, right?
The other way to do it, the Andrew Yang model, which a lot of politicians are adopting right now, is give the money directly to the people, right?
And that will hopefully help consumerism a bit.
So now every American has another $1,000, $2,000.
And what do they do with that?
They go to the restaurant.
They buy some goods and services at the restaurant.
Now the restaurant gets to stay open and the people get to purchase things, but also get to pay for their rent.
So that's what people are trying to avoid by these either bailouts or giving the money to the people.
So you basically bail out the businesses or bail out the people.
I doubt that they'll do both, but who knows?
It could be that dire.
And, you know, we'll see where people go from here, man.
One of the things that's really interesting that could happen to this is long-term business effects, though.
We've been living so good that we never considered anything like this could possibly happen.
And that's why you have all these businesses that operate on the margins is what it's called, right?
You have all these businesses that are basically month to month.
Like Al used to run a restaurant or social media for a restaurant, right?
And the restaurant went down, but that restaurant was probably operating month to month.
So if they had a good month, they were good.
They had a bad month, they were bad.
Yeah.
Right.
And if you have a couple of bad months, you out the game.
Exactly.
Right.
And a lot of these businesses that are open today are going to be out the game after a couple bad months if they don't get some bailouts, right?
What's going to happen in the future is this.
A guy who has $3 million to invest in something is going to go to have a meeting with somebody and the guy's like, hey, listen, I want to open up a restaurant and we'll probably profit this much, but it'll be a cool place.
But, you know, we're not going to make too much money, but we'll make probably 10, 20% or something like that.
And then the guy will go, well, what do you plan on doing in case there's like a flu epidemic?
Because that's something that could happen now, coronavirus.
And then the guy will go, well, we don't make enough money to survive that.
So we just got to hope that doesn't happen.
And then the millionaire dude will go, I'm good on my money.
I'll invest in something else.
I think this could really affect mom and pop businesses long term because why would you invest, especially if you're trying to get outside money, why would you invest in one of these businesses that's barely profitable?
You know, towards the end of my parents' business, you know, they had a dance studio.
Obviously, you know that from the clip we put out.
You know what I'm saying out?
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, the corona shuffle.
What is it?
I already forgot it.
Doesn't matter.
Go check it out on Instagram.
Disdain.
Just dancing.
Social disdancing.
There we go.
Go check it out on Instagram if you know what we're talking about.
My hips really didn't lie.
Check it out.
They would throw it.
We would throw it.
But yeah, they were operating month to month towards the end of their shit.
So they could not sustain something like this.
So I think that you could see like long-term repercussions business-wise.
It could really change the way that we do business.
And no bullshit.
I think it changes the way people live.
I don't think old people will live in big cities after this if they can afford not to.
Right?
I mean, most smart old people don't.
They already move out, right?
But I've always assumed that they moved out, right?
Because of like comfort of life and lifestyle.
But I think this is one of those things where like culture was impacted by environment.
So I think like a long time ago, we're talking about maybe 100 years, 200 years, or 400 years, or whatever it is.
I think people moved out of the big city as they got older, not only because they were more like successful, but also because they were trying to avoid the plague.
They were trying to avoid the flu.
They were trying to avoid all the sicknesses that we didn't really have a way to cure back in the day.
And I think you'll start to see this happen again.
If you're old, you really want to be on a subway with some motherfucker coughing on you and playing music real loud on his speakers on his phone.
Nah.
You want to be out there in Montauk, chilling by the beach with fresh air with no corona in it.
I really think it could be something that switches the way we live.
We literally send our parents out.
And that's an interesting thing.
Like, if you don't want your parents to live with you when you get older, just move into the city.
And you really look at them.
Like, you could look them, you know, you could live with me if you want, but you could also die.
How much you love me, mom?
How much you love me, dad?
You willing to do it?
I really think it could be something that goes down.
You know, on the bailout situation, I wanted to point out there's a few businesses right now that are really having a hard time, especially like the airline industry.
Yeah.
Like they're having a tough time.
And somebody broke it down to me.
It's like that industry, as well as others, they do this thing where it's like a buyback of their stock.
So they increase the stock prices, but because they're liquid, like they have a lot of cash on hand.
So they buy their own stock and raise the prices of it.
Well, so what happens with the buyback is this.
They got the bailout, right?
And this is what happened when Obama bailed out.
No, no, no, no.
This is different.
This is a stock buyback.
Yeah, yeah.
So what happens is they use the money that they got, right?
Yeah.
From the Obama bailout.
And instead of injecting that money, let's say, into employees and that kind of stuff like that, they bought back their own stock.
Yes.
Right.
And that drives up the price.
Yes, yes, yes.
Right.
So what they're doing is a move that's only to appease shareholders, not necessarily make the business more viable.
Some people believe it does make the business more viable because if it's worth more, then the business is looked at as better and maybe more people invest in it.
You know, especially in a time of scarcity, you see one business doing well.
You're like, okay, look, I'm going to get money.
Like, if you look at the stock market right now, every business is going down except Netflix.
Right?
Of course, because everybody's streaming.
So people just dumping money in those companies that are like working.
But yeah, that's another issue.
It's like, that's one way you could potentially save your business or not.
But they're taking the hurting the worst because now their stock is worthless and all of their money was in their stock.
So not only is no one's taking flights, now your company isn't worth shit and all your money was in your company.
Now, there's a tricky thing with this, right?
Let's scroll down a little bit, but there's a tricky thing with this, right?
Is sometimes these big businesses, and again, I don't work for them, but sometimes these big businesses, they don't give a fuck because they know they're getting bailed out.
Like they're like a rich kid's, they're like a wealthy person's kid.
You know, like those wealthy person's kids that like get in car accidents all the time.
They get DUIs, they're strung out, they get arrested, but they don't really care because they know that they're too rich to really get in trouble.
Yeah.
Right?
That's what these businesses are.
Like, that's what AT ⁇ T is.
They're like, you really going to let me fail?
Hey, you really going to let, if you let me fail, it's global economic collapse.
Like, that's what the airline industry is.
They're like, you really don't want there to be any American airlines.
And what I mean by American airlines, I don't mean that airline.
I mean all airlines that operate out of America, Delta, United, all of them.
So they're looking at the government like, hey, bruh, what?
You going to leave me in jail, ma?
You going to leave me in jail, dad?
No, cough up the bread, stupid.
That's literally how they're doing it.
So I don't think they have the same fear of failing.
Whereas if me and you got a business and it fails, you think Donald Trump's like, oh, we got to bail him out?
No.
You don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
Don't give no fucks.
I just feel sorry for the employees, the ones that are getting laid off or being forced to leave the job.
Like that shit sucks.
So that's another thing that's really interesting about employees and what's happening right now, like in like predatory hiring.
This is what's really interesting.
So there are going to be certain businesses that are going to do everything in their power to keep certain employees if they believe that they'll be able to make it through this, right?
So let's use like NBA teams as an example, right?
NBA players are all unionized and they have all these rules, et cetera.
So if the players stop getting paid, they're still locked into their team.
You can't touch them.
But the front office isn't.
So if the team shuts down for the rest of the year and they decide to not pay their front office, they essentially let them go.
So if there's a front office person, let's say a GM or a president, another team can contact them and be like, yo, the Pistons aren't paying you.
We want you next year.
We got all the money.
We'll start getting you now.
Oh, wow.
So you can see a lot of shakeups, not only in the NBA, but also a bunch of other businesses, tech businesses.
Uber is struggling.
Lyft got some money.
Lyft goes, yo, we want your CEO.
We want this.
Obviously, CEO is not going to go.
And that's why you see a lot of part-time workers getting laid off first because, unfortunately, they're the most replaceable.
They're going to do everything in their power to keep the senior execs because they're like, if we lose these guys, we actually lose the most profit-driving force in our business.
Oh, okay.
So it's a tricky thing, but that's when you see the replaceable workers go, man.
It kind of sucks.
But yeah, it kind of sucks.
We'll see what Trump has to do with it.
Trump is interesting, man.
Like, I've been watching basically him bumble this entire shit and is giving me some perspective on what he's been doing and how he's been operating and how he's been playing the game, right?
Trump is James Harden.
Okay?
Okay.
Explain it to the non-basketball fans.
So James Harden is a basketball player who's known for his like regular season prowess, right?
Like James Harden is out here flashy, putting up big numbers, doing all this kind of shit, never won a championship, right?
And that's what Trump was doing.
Trump was running on the economy.
He was like, as long as the economy's booming, I got this election.
Because at the end of the day, people vote with their pockets, right?
So I got to keep the company.
I got to keep the economy humming.
And the economy was humming, right?
Stock market was killing.
Everything was high.
He was riding high.
He could literally say whatever he want to anybody, and he didn't care.
That's offensive.
You don't really care because look at your retirement fund popping, right?
Shut up.
That's what he was looking at people.
He was looking at all these reporters talking shit to him.
And he was just like, how is your retirement, though?
Yeah.
Exactly.
You love this, right?
Here's the thing: James Harden, flashy, big numbers, just like that Trump economy, right?
How many rings he got?
Zero.
Because what wins championships?
Defense.
And Trump, just like James Harden, threw away the defense for the offense.
All offense.
Right?
Yeah.
So Trump threw away that pandemic team when he got into office.
For what reason?
Save a few million bucks.
It was a few million bucks, right?
That's what it was going to save him.
But he threw it away because he wants to have that bare bones government where it looks like, you know, there's not a lot of spending.
It's not big government, et cetera.
And I get that to a certain extent, right?
Obviously, government is not the most effective use of money, right?
That being said, he threw it away for the offense.
And when the defense was needed, it wasn't there.
Just like James Harden in the playoffs.
When the defense was needed, it wasn't there.
You can't win a championship on step back threes.
And that's what Trump was trying to do.
Step back, paper towel, Puerto Rican.
That was his move, right?
Threw that shit away.
So now what does Trump do?
He pivots.
Are you seeing what he's doing now?
This is genius.
He's going to war with the virus.
Oh, wartime president.
Yeah.
Right?
What are they always saying now?
Wartime president, right?
He had the American flag in the past.
And why has he done it?
Because a president at war has never lost an election.
So Trump can't run on the economy anymore.
He can't run on his decorum.
That's for sure.
Right?
Nobody gives a fuck about building a wall at this point because all the borders are closed anyway.
You can't say, I'm closing the borders.
Yeah, everybody got closed borders now, stupid.
Right?
So what does he have to run on?
War.
Now, to his credit, he's not starting a war in another country.
He's pretty much anti-war.
He has had plenty of opportunities to go to war and he hasn't done it.
Going to War with Virus00:07:29
I respect that.
So he found something to go to war with that doesn't have U.S. soldiers as the casualties.
And that's the virus.
And now all the language around the virus is warlike, right?
He's even calling it the Chinese virus, right?
Because it's us versus the Chinese virus.
Right?
He's almost like adding some stakes to it, right?
I can't believe he's doubling down with that.
That's the best when he was like, yeah, the virus does not have an ethnicity.
Why are you calling a Chinese virus?
Because it's from China.
That's a good point.
It is from China.
So it is a really interesting thing that's going on.
And the war is against Corona, and he's doing that shit, man.
He's going for it.
It's a smart strategy.
I give it to him.
The smart strategy.
We'll see what happens.
I don't want to stress you guys out.
We are trying to keep this under 30 minutes.
We promised that we were going to do that.
But then we get to talking.
It's fun to cook.
But we do definitely have some good news to rock on.
We got a Corona hack for you.
Because remember, as times change, as the economy changes, as business changes, there's all these little opportunities that pop up a lot of people aren't aware of.
Okay, so here's a dope Corona hack.
My girl put me on to all these fancy restaurants, right, will go out of business if they don't continue making food.
But you can't go into their restaurant and eat, right.
So what are they doing for the first time in their history, delivery.
Oh so Maneta Tavern arguably the best burger in New York City has never delivered in their existence.
Delivering oh, you don't got to wait online, you don't got to look like a sucker when they say oh, we have no reservations tonight, they'll take it to your house.
They're your bitch.
Now okay, not only Manetta Tavern.
Um, what else was there?
Carbone, Carbone.
You get that spicy rigatoni from Carbone.
Uh, you get that.
Uh, caesar salad from Carbone.
There's a bunch of other shit, but Carbon is an amazing restaurant.
You literally cannot get a reservation, you know it.
No, i'm just saying, there you go again talking this big buddy, even though yes, it's not too crazy.
I'm talking about like, the Corona date night.
You and your girl, you get dressed up, you're staying in right, you have someone else risk Corona to get you that spicy rig, right?
Um, nami nori sushi.
That's going to be expensive, but if you're going to ball out right, think about how much money you save in staying in the house.
Right, you're not going to spend any money.
It's not like you're doing activities.
You're not even buying five dollar coffees at Starbucks because you're not leaving the house.
I really think that we're going to be on shutdown shutdown like you're not leaving.
Yeah, and here's an opportunity where some of that money that you save you get to spend it.
Splurge, have a nice one.
Just look at all the restaurants that you've wanted to eat at.
I bet you half of them have started some sort of either delivery or pickup service.
Take advantage of that.
Advantage of that.
Show us when you got it.
We love seeing your little uh, your posts with all these types of things.
Um, I know a lot of people have been doing stuff.
You've been getting hit up a lot huh al yeah yeah yeah, it's been.
Um, look it.
I understand it's a tricky time.
You know, like NEW Yorkers, they're debating whether we're gonna shut us down.
I think they're gonna shut us down entirely.
I really do feel like that's gonna happen and um, I think you just gotta be ready for it.
Man, be prepared for it.
You know, I live in Manhattan, our studios out here in Brooklyn, and if they shut down the bridges.
They shut down the bridges.
So I gotta find a way to be out here.
I might have to get an airbnb, I might have to do one of those things, but I gotta find a way to be here.
But we made a promise to you guys.
We're gonna deliver this every single day and you know we, we intend on keeping that promise.
Man um, I know a lot of you guys have been spreading the word and and and uh and sharing these videos with your friends, and that's just so.
Dope man, means a lot to us.
You know, and um, that you would want to do that, and hopefully they're helpful to people and hopefully you get the most out of it and hopefully you run with some of this stuff man.
I shaved my balls yesterday man, and I felt like a new man.
I saved it.
I saved it because when I get a little down, I shave my balls.
But I knew I was gonna get a little bit.
I knew I was gonna get a little bit frustrated in this quarantine.
I knew I was gonna feel a little bit you know, claustrophobic held down and I waited, I waited, I waited, it happened and boom, I felt like a new man, I felt like a brand new man.
So save that ball hair.
Okay, save that ball hair, shave it up, tip top shape and feel like a new person.
Okay, and ladies, you shave every single day, so I feel like don't play around out here.
Okay, the patriarchy's back in a quarantine.
Learn how to wax at home.
Yo can't go out, real talk, But a couple, just a couple of quick tips before we go.
Go.
So I just want to say shame on you to Best Buy and Tesla and any of the other big factories and big companies that are forcing their employees to stay and work.
Like a lot of like large groups of people forced to work close inside each other or they risk their getting fired if they don't want to come into work.
It's a little bit alarming for New York because we're kind of leading the way, but it really looks like we're going to have a full, full shutdown, not leave your house.
That's the way it's heading right now, but there's no confirmation of that.
Guys, just prepare for those things.
You know, prayers out for the people in Salt Lake.
They had a huge earthquake over there, 5.7 magnitude earthquake.
They lost power.
Imagine losing power at a time like this when you're forced to be at home.
So prayers out to them.
They had an earthquake in Salt Lake?
Yeah.
Huge earthquake.
Damn.
And then just shout out to Brazil and the 1,400 prisoners you have running your streets.
Oh, that's what's up.
Them favelas about to be lit, bro.
Yo, talking about semi-legal shit.
One of the dudes hit me up from Amsterdam.
He said, so they closed all the businesses except groceries and pharmacies.
Also, you know what's man funny is we criticize companies like Tesla and Best Buy for like forcing their employees to work, but we never criticize Whole Foods.
You know what I mean?
We're like, y'all better show up.
Y'all better.
I need my fucking dried mango.
Hector.
Okay, stock them shelves, motherfucker.
If the CBS ain't stocked, like we don't give no smoke to them.
We're like, oh, y'all better get Corona because you are here to make sure I got tampons to buy my girl.
Okay?
The originals.
Unscented.
Scent cause yeast infection.
I learned.
But no, what was the point we were saying?
Damn, we over 30, man.
Fuck it.
We're going to get there.
That was the last one.
Just Brazil thing.
Oh, no, the Amsterdam shit.
So they shut down everything except like pharmacies, groceries, like what everybody's doing, you know, hospitals.
And the black market trade for weed got so crazy in three days that the government said, all right, fuck it.
We'll open up the cafes.
Oh, wow.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Like, you can do pickup, only three people at the store.
You got to wait online.
But it just got so insane in three days.
Wow.
So don't you ever say that potheads are lazy.
All right.
They got energy to get the shit that they need.
Anyway, man, we love y'all.
We appreciate y'all, man.
Thank you for spreading the word.
We hope this helps you.
And we're going to keep it up as long as we in here.
And let's build this, man.
Salute.
I know we should, you know, we should, we should take a little shot or something at the beginning.
Take a little sip on something, no matter where you are in the world, you know, because there's no rules now for drinking.
Right?
It's not like we're working.
So it's either a shot, sip of coffee, sip of tea, sip of whiskey.
It don't matter what the fuck is a sip of.
We should start the show with that, but we'll end it today.