Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the coronavirus pandemic, debating naming conventions like "China flu" while analyzing financial losses from canceled comedy shows and the NFL's controversial Collective Bargaining Agreement. They critique Donald Trump's airport temperature refusals, debunk racial immunity myths via Rudy Gobert's infection, and speculate on WrestleMania's fanless execution in Tampa Bay. Ultimately, they argue that sports owners bear disproportionate crisis responsibility and propose simultaneous online movie releases to capture bored audiences during quarantine. [Automatically generated summary]
We were talking about this on the Corona report that we've been doing.
We need a name for that shit, bro.
I don't know, but like how we can't believe that Iran got the son.
I mean, the easiest thing to do is get a COVID mask for your wife, right?
But they have a mask already.
I don't understand how anybody out there ever got it.
You know?
You think that Islam changes what type of face structure it is?
It becomes a COVID mask.
What do you mean?
Because right now it's like a lot of people.
We're calling it COVID.
Stop doing this fucking cuck shit.
It's China flu.
Okay.
Or yellow fever.
I'm just going.
They already had one.
Yo, somebody called it.
Somebody tweeted me Kamika Sneeze.
Kami-Ka sneeze.
Good.
That's good.
That's good.
But seriously, what's this COVID shit?
It's coronavirus.
I'll be using them interchangeably.
It's just two syllables versus three.
I just hate that.
Like, own it.
If you did it, you got it, bro.
Like.
You're talking about the beer company?
What?
The beer company.
Oh, I'm talking about the virus.
Like, China, you did it.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I don't understand why we can't just say, like, you got it.
You sell fucked up shit in your mouth.
The China bug.
The China bug.
Right.
Go.
Chinese dragon.
The Chinese dragon, dude.
You're breathing that hot fire.
Okay, but go on.
I don't remember what I was saying.
What was I saying?
I don't know.
The point is, we're here, everybody.
What's up?
Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2.
Yep, yep.
Akash has been on flights.
You're touching Eden's mask.
Eden has been DJing like a fucking retard.
Eden threw it at me.
Get it off of you.
Y'all, y'all.
Are you guys from Florida?
You reacting a lot.
Look, we're going to get it, yo.
No, we're not.
I think that, I think we could possibly not get it.
Here's the thing.
I'm not getting it.
Yeah, I really don't think I'm going to get it.
You, I'm not so certain.
Yeah, me neither.
What you gonna do?
And I got asthma.
It's gonna be rough for your boy.
It's bad for me.
It's gonna be rough for your boy.
You may need a respirator.
What can you do?
Okay, so let's just have a little check-in with everybody because right now people have been hearing from Alex and myself, but they haven't heard from you.
Yeah.
You decided to do shows up in Montreal against my.
You didn't have to.
Comedy is not a real job.
You never have to do it.
I texted my agent on Wednesday.
Who's also my agent?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's why.
That's the same thing that my brother does.
But that's why I don't want to look like an asshole because my brother goes, I was talking to my mom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not, but I'm talking to everybody.
Okay.
I'm texting our agent on Wednesday.
Yeah.
And I'm like, yo, do I got to do this fucking show?
It's a college.
The college had shut down the night before.
Should have gone.
It's a three-hour drive.
And he's like, I think you should do it.
So what I'm going to say, I don't got specials for seven figures.
So I was like, all right, I'll do that.
That makes two of us.
Yeah, I mean, life is a leverage game.
My leverage is: you don't make much money off me.
So you think I should do the shows.
I'll do the shows.
All right, fine.
I think it's a good point in time to tell everybody, real quick, that all of my shows for March and April are going to be rescheduled, possibly May as well.
We just have to look at how we're doing.
And including those shows is unfortunately the special.
I'm very bummed.
April 11th and 12th, I was incredibly excited to go do it.
But we all have the responsibility, a social responsibility in this fucking thing.
And you can't be out there, you know, basically trying to get groups of people to gather and eventually share the coronavirus with each other.
So we are rescheduling those things.
Once we have the rescheduled dates, I'll post them all.
I have our agent working on that right now.
Akash has already received a bunch of rescheduled dates, so I'm going to have a separate conversation with my agent about the order of priority in this relationship over here.
Okay?
Oh, man.
But in all seriousness, I think my venues just have a lot more availability to begin with.
It better be the reason.
Hey, DJ, there better be the reason.
Okay.
I've got my, whatever this is, my Italian mobster fingers going.
It better be the reason.
Okay.
Anyway, so yeah.
So besides that, everything's okay.
Wifey's okay.
Wife is good.
We're quarantined up.
So she's not going to work.
She's working from home.
Only place we're coming is here.
She's doing classes still?
Nah, rap.
Rap ski.
Okay, good.
Very good.
How has it been all that time at home together?
He hasn't been home.
He's been in Montreal.
Yeah, I got back yet.
He's got back.
Hasn't started yet.
Hasn't started yet.
This week, Akash, you're going to love it.
You know what else getting postponed?
A little wedding.
Okay, that's what Corona is going to explode.
How's quarantine going for you?
Son, I've been in the studio 10 hours a day, son.
I ain't playing no games.
I got a motorcycle.
Oh, God.
You know what I mean?
I got a legit.
Alex and I got motorcycles so we could get here even.
How's this relationship going in the quarantine?
Oh, me and Al?
Yeah.
Actually, we've never been better.
Son.
We just got to get Mark out of here.
I think that's really the key to all of our success as a couple is just getting Mark out.
Mark divides your attention.
Now you got to please two people.
Exactly.
You're not built for polygamy, yo.
I'm not built for polygamy.
I just want to be a one-man man.
Yeah.
I'm a one-man man.
It's amazing Al and I don't have more conflicts.
Yeah, why don't y'all?
I don't know, man.
I love Al.
It's a weird love triangle we got that works.
No, you know why?
Because you got your girl that you'd be spending all your time with.
You don't got no time for me no more.
That's true.
I hope you both get coronavirus and you fucking wheezing in bed next to each other.
That's what I said.
He got it.
Son, look at his posture.
The way he's touching his thigh.
No, I'm just gay.
That's it.
Oh my God.
I was walking around to West Village wondering why so many coronas was walking around.
Son.
Do you know what I mean?
Dude, the rainbow flag, the corona flag.
Anyway, guys, yeah, so shit has been okay with me and my lady.
We've been good, actually, to be honest.
No fights whatsoever.
I'm saving a lot of money in this whole Corona situation and losing a lot of money.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm still losing.
Where are you saving?
We don't have date night anymore.
It's perfect.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, that's nice.
Yeah, yeah, it is good.
It is good.
I mean, we've created our own date night.
We were talking about this on the quarantine pod, but I think that's really important.
I think everybody should do that.
Absolutely.
Like, create fun things that you can do with your girl, your friends, your roommates, whatever it is.
Don't just like fall into the trap of this.
What's the trap?
Netflix?
The trap is do nothing.
You could do Netflix, but have there be a goal.
The trap is, I'm not going to change what I wear.
The trap is, I'm not going to get dressed up.
I'm not going to shower.
I'm not going to shit.
I'm not going to do any of these things.
And that is, I guarantee, it's going to happen to people.
And that's when you start getting depressed.
And that's when you start breaking down.
And that's when shit starts to go bad, in my opinion.
That's like in my life outside of Corona.
I've thought about times where like that happens, like when I was off the road.
Sorry, real quick.
Where's my water glass?
Because I got something in my throat.
And I know if I cough, you guys are going to lose your minds.
I was trying to think of something un-corona related, but this is the first thing that comes to mind.
So I think the coronavirus is going to significantly lower the divorce rate.
Go on.
Now we're forced to be inside.
Now you have a bunch of millennials learning how to cook.
And cleaning.
Doing laundry.
Binging makeup tutorials so they're not ugly anymore.
Interesting.
Divorce rate is going down.
Also, you can't get divorced if you're dead.
Also, you can't afford it.
What?
If you're a man and we're about to get into a crazy recession, I don't got the money to pay or die.
Oh, yeah.
Nobody gets divorced when they're broke.
That's why I broke people stay together.
Ah.
Yeah.
It's like, what are we doing here?
We're already miserable.
Paying lawyers?
Yeah.
No.
I think it could happen.
I like the idea that we're like getting back into our instincts.
I never understood like women's rejection of like cooking or like nurturing or these types of things.
Like literally over the last, I don't know, 10 million years or 20 million years, we've carved out roles for each other.
And men, we love being taken care of.
Words.
It's the best.
It is the best thing.
You can try to point your seat out towards there.
Like I asked you before the fucking podcast started.
My man is on edge with the rolling.
Son, you're not playing games out here.
His corona's blocking his ears, son.
Everything's blocking it.
There's a lot to block my ears, bro.
Let's be real.
I got them elves.
I got them elving ears, dog.
Andrew done yelled at everybody in this podcast, and he's already planning to yell at his agent, our agent.
Oh, son.
Sometimes you got to kick shit into gear, bro.
We're not playing games out here.
It's corona season.
But what was I just saying, though?
The worst is carving out things for each other.
Taking care of your man.
Oh, generally.
Oh, yeah.
So, like, taking care, like, so my girl, she makes breakfast.
She'll just like tidy up and shit like that.
And you know what I do?
I take out the trash.
Yeah.
And I like doing that.
Yeah.
I enjoy doing that.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
You just started doing that?
Like, who the fuck was that?
Take out my own trash.
But now that it's both of our trash together.
You just started doing it.
She's still honest.
In her apartment when we were staying there, she would take out the trash.
And obviously, that worked good for me.
That worked fine.
But at the same time, come on, girl taking out the trash.
You should never want your girl taking out the trash.
Because some dude could be like, hey, can I help you with that?
And it's like, all right, that's how it starts.
As he should help.
You wild.
But I stopped that.
I cut that shit out.
My girl's taking care of the household.
She's making sure that we're cooked for, making sure that we're fed, making sure that we're clean.
You know what I mean?
So she's doing the womanly things that have existed for millions of years.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this patriarchy shit is a product of evolution.
It's not a product of men.
I truly believe this.
It's not a chart of men trying to hold down women.
It's a product of what works in a relationship over millions of years.
And then we just made it easy for women.
We're like, hey, it's easier for you if you kind of cook and clean.
You can also work.
That's great.
But don't give up the cooking and cleaning because your husband will literally love you less.
Son.
And literally.
You've been in the place for millions of years is because we've evolved to it.
That's it.
Thousands or whatever.
Slavery's been around for millions of years.
Come on, guys.
But a way you can finish.
Nazism is an institution.
But I'm not talking about rich people.
To make the actual point, I'm talking about like people who were trying to survive, they weren't like, hey, here, let's do, let me impress my girl real quick.
They're like, yo, we need to eat.
We need to live.
This is how we're going to do it.
You make the food.
You gather everything.
You take care.
I'll go kill.
I'm a hunter.
Let's go.
And that's how gender roles evolved.
For rich people, whatever.
I think what happens is real quick.
I think what happens also is there is a reward system built into the things we're supposed to do.
Okay.
You mow the lawn.
I know this sounds silly.
You mow the lawn.
Afterwards, you feel good about it, right?
Because you've just done something that has been accomplished.
Now, I'm sure there's maybe some evolutionary advantage, like clearing out your space.
Who the fuck knows, right?
But there's a reward system built in.
I truly believe there is a reward system built in when women cook food for men and give them food.
And I think there's a reward system.
I was talking to Rogan about this.
He's like, something happens when you hunt and you like kill an animal and bring it back home.
There is a fucking reward system.
You ready to hunt, huh?
Say what?
You're ready to hunt.
Son, I'm ready to hunt.
Rogan got you ready to hunt.
Son, he got me ready to hunt elk only.
But no, but seriously.
So it's like, he's like, something primal happens because I asked him why all these like rich people hunt.
I was like, what's that about?
He's like, you're trying to tap into your primal reward system, right?
So there's these things that we've built to be rewarded.
And then I think women and a lot of times men, because they like think gender roles are bad, are like shunning these rewards.
They're actively making themselves less happy.
Ladies, if you're not cooking for your men, you're actually less happy than you could be.
Yeah.
And as a man, when your woman is cooking for you in that way or tidying shit up, one of my favorite things is when I'm going to sleep at night and I take my shirt off and I just put it on the ground.
Primal Reward System00:08:01
And then I wake up in the morning and there's nothing on the ground.
That's one of my favorite things.
I literally see that and I go up to my girl.
I go, I love you.
And I give her a big old kiss.
I love you.
And one of your lady's favorite things is when she goes to a store, picks some shit out and they go to the cashier and you just pull your card out.
She don't even have to ask.
I hunted it.
You hunted, yo.
When I swipe my card, I'm pulling a bone arrow.
And I'm shooting, is it shooting an arrow?
Lancing an arrow?
That's right.
I'm doing it.
Yo.
I'm in my Lord of the Rings bag.
Elven ears, bro.
I got that elveni.
Another way you can flex your masculinity, just break something and hire an editing Mexican to come fix it.
That's the thing.
Son, that is the most.
That's why I don't let men fix anything in my house when my girl's around.
You wait till she leaves?
And then you have them come in.
My girl thinks I put up the mirror.
She really thinks I put up the mirror.
I was like, don't worry, babe, I'll take care of it.
1 p.m. put up.
Someone's at work.
This whole quarantine fucking up my, what is the assistant shit?
There was a website.
Oh, Taz Rabbit.
Task Rabbit.
Man, I had a whole school of rabbits cooking shit up in my place, fixing up the toaster, fixing up the oven, all this type of stuff.
Whatever you need, I got it.
I'm a man.
You got to get her out the house so you could have somebody come install that bidet and say you did it.
Well, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to install the bidet because we're on quarantine.
So be careful, son.
You really?
Is it that crazy?
Like, it's a little bit because.
I want to see the videos you're trying to put in and shoot you in the face.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You want to do that for me?
You fuck up the water.
I just have my girl knowing I'm going to do it.
If you fuck up, the water's going to go spraying everywhere crazy.
But I got to turn off the water.
Yeah.
So you just turn it over.
But that's like even a simple task for you.
I'm not as dumb as Arkham.
That's the base.
Who's the most helpless person here?
It's close between me and Arcas.
He's close.
It's real.
Like, we be competing.
When it's technology, it's definitely you.
Technology is, but it's like, if it's technology, it's me.
But when it comes to manual things, oh, him.
Yeah, probably that guy.
It's very hard to give.
I'm really bad at simple shit.
Like, the more simple, the more nervous I get that I'm going to fuck it up.
But if you give me something hard, I'm not that bad because I'm like, ah, there's not much pressure here.
Somebody expects me to get it done.
I want you on my single, do you show this right here?
Show it.
Yeah.
Let him know.
Right here, this is how this is supposed to be.
It's embarrassing for me.
This fucking India retard, right?
Yeah.
I told him to fix the microphone stand, right?
I can't get it.
This motherfucker bent it back like one of them fat black chicks' legs.
You know, you know, when the knees go, you know, the Beyonce fans, how they go inside?
They bend back like the, what's that movie, Avatar?
They look like the M's.
They look like M's.
Yeah.
Like greater than and less than.
He bent our whole shit.
Broke our whole shit, bro.
Mad help us.
Still love you, dog.
Mad help us.
Still love you.
I want to see a video you putting up this bidet, though.
Yo, no, we're going to make that.
That's going to be interesting.
If you really are going to do this yourself, I want to see that.
Say again.
If you're going to do it yourself, I want to see this.
All right.
I got this.
Because I was a little bit more.
But I can't have my girl see it.
It is a thing that she cannot see me in these.
Maybe.
Maybe we'll put on Patreon.
Akash, you got a flagrant take?
Fuck.
I had one.
I forgot it.
We'll come back to me.
Your flagrant take is that you're dying from fucking corona.
That's what it is.
That might be.
That might be.
We literally have had nothing.
We literally have had nothing to do this week.
And we didn't have a flagrant take.
If you guys all turn off the podcast right now, I'll understand.
Let me see.
I'll completely understand if everyone here.
I have a motherfucker.
Al came through with the flagrant tick.
Akash, what would you do if you actually did it?
Oh, I had one.
Here we go.
I wrote it down.
Go.
Kobe's death is actually what made him.
Are we flagrant or not?
Can you hear me?
Can we hear me out?
You got nothing to lose.
Don't you stephano me?
Come on now.
Put up one picture with a helicopter in the background, and then this guy got to do a fucking Kobe take.
Go.
Ready?
Go.
That's what made him the greatest Laker ever.
He always said he wanted to die early, right?
I don't know that he said that, but I believe you.
You said that.
Tracy McGrady said he said he wanted to die early on the jump, I think it was.
Yeah.
So he waited until Lakers versus Clippers was at its peak.
Like the Clippers are really making a run for it.
The arena is more torn.
It's still a Lakers arena, but it's more torn than it's ever been.
Okay.
And Kobe said, fuck that.
My Lakers are going to stay on top.
And if I got to go early, if I want to go early, this is the time to do it.
Ooh.
So if so you're saying that, I mean, obviously that didn't happen, but you're saying since he died, you can't jump ship from the Lakers.
You can't jump ship from the kitchen.
That's an interesting point.
You can't jump ship.
If you are feeling torn at all, it's not even like, oh, what do I do?
If you were remotely torn, you're like, yo, fuck the Clippers.
And we're rooting for LA Torre.
Oh, you are bored now.
Come on.
You are bored now.
You got you, son.
You're my problem.
You're on board now.
You're right.
You're going to get to bully Akash.
He gets some evil out of him, bro.
He came in too nice, bro.
He was in Canada.
He sucked up some of that nice kindness.
You came in on edge.
Say, yes, motherfucker, we in a pandemics.
What are we going to do?
What do you fucking think?
You got somebody in the market.
Your immune system is shit on radio.
I'm the one that should be worried.
I'm worried for you.
I got the asthma.
You do have the asthma.
I got asthma.
Yeah.
If I got asthma, then I'm, that's a pre-configured.
So if you die, who's your mom gonna call?
Your other brother?
No.
Me.
So I gotta deal with all that.
That's a problem.
A five-minute phone call?
Son.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't speak to his own mom.
My mom called me yesterday.
Be like, yeah, we're trying to quarantine.
I was like, mom, I'm preparing for the cool quarantine pot.
I'll call you back.
Are you safe?
Are you good?
Oh, man.
I did make sure my mom was safe and good.
They're straight.
Okay.
My brother had to take Alex.
What a hero.
How the fuck you called your mom?
Who lives in the same city as you?
No, I did.
I did.
I called her.
I called her up.
I made sure it was safe.
I was like, yo, I hooked my mom up like I helped Alex with bags at the fucking jail.
I'm like, yo, you good?
I wait for Alex to lift it on his own.
And then I go, yo, you good?
You got that?
All right, you good.
Yeah, you got that.
All right, we good.
So I just hit my mom.
I said, quarantine.
You know, Al will take you up on a you good, though.
Oh, yeah.
That's why I do it.
Yeah.
No, but he'll, no, he'll say, no, no, he won't.
You too proud.
I vividly remember your bouncer story.
Was I asked Al, you good?
And Al was like, no, come over.
We got to take care of this bouncer.
I'm not getting into this club.
And then I learned from him.
You thought you were pussy, yo.
Watch your mouth, son.
Watch your mouth, son.
Yo, Al, I think Andrew just said a sucking dick.
I know, right, damn.
That's what it sounds like.
Look at this stupid fucking mic stand.
Look at that stupid that look.
Dude, this Beyonce fan leg mic stand is so crazy, bro.
Come on, I thought.
You said I deflect right now, son.
Did you say he's Arthur Fleck?
No, I said deflect.
We just deflected off that heat.
Nah, but what did happen, though?
You ran away from that white guy.
You shooting shots at everybody.
We don't care.
The one that just tossed you to the side, son.
That white guy?
I honestly, now that I think about it, I think Alex pushed me.
I don't think it was just a bouncer.
I just pushed her in front of me.
I think Al is like, I got it.
Right?
I think he's like, I got it.
And I was like, come to think of it, I don't think that, I don't think it was a bouncer saying anything.
I think it might have been me making that sound.
I was like, did I make that sound out?
Did I yelp like a little fucking Yorkie?
You know what I've been doing?
You know that prank where the guy goes and moans in people's ears?
The White Guy Pushed Me00:02:28
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been doing that to my girl out of nowhere.
You got to record that shit.
Somebody pisses her up so she'll just be picking my shit up that I'll be leaving around the whole house, trying to give her something to do.
I feel so bad for her right now.
I'm a great boyfriend.
Yo, you sound like you're at home being torture, torturous to what are you just dropping on the floor?
You're pranking her and shit.
Yo, I'll be honest, I don't know how that shit gets cleaned up, bro.
What if she has Mexicans coming?
What if she has Mexicans come while you're doing the podcast and clean up?
How many rabbits is out there?
What the fuck are you doing?
Pinche conjo de mierda!
Asiento todos los tasks.
All right.
Eden, what did he say?
Yeah, I know, right?
I said, fucking rabbits doing all the tasks.
But in all seriousness, man, I think, no, we have a great relationship.
Son, it's all about, you know, symbiosis, bro.
You know what that is.
What's symbiosis?
What's chlorophyll?
What's chlorophyll?
What's that, Ah, gosh?
Did you learn that in your Bahamian medical school?
Bahamians.
No, I couldn't get into the Bahamians.
You couldn't get into Bahamian medals.
I could have got.
No, I mean.
Yo, what is chlorophyll?
Selling plants that does photosynthesis.
I don't know.
What is it?
Yo, yo.
Is he?
Chlorophyll is how photosynthesis happens with plants.
I don't know.
I forget what it is, though.
It's like a what's photosynthesis?
It's how plants give off oxygen.
It's the feeding process of plants that gives off oxygen.
Okay.
What's a leaf?
He's stumped on that one.
Yeah, I got nothing to do.
Talk tick tock, tick tock.
Let's go.
What's a leaf?
Green substance that sticks off of a branch of a tree.
Uh-huh.
Or a plant.
What's a trunk?
Want to phone a friend?
Yeah, let me phone Alex right now.
I'm going to take these ridiculous questions for someone.
I'm just trying to see what type of scientist.
Yo, you think this guy's even a scientist?
Come on, dollar.
Yo, have I been wrong yet, Ed?
How you gonna ask Ed?
You Were Wrong About Nazis00:16:03
That's true.
He'd be Googling.
You were wrong about the Nazis.
What did I say?
Well, when you gave them that swastika sign, hey.
Hey.
They did, bro.
That's an Indian one.
We didn't donate the motherfucker.
We didn't say, hey, borrow this.
Hey, you guys.
Hitler.
Oh, Hitler.
It's good, man.
Hitler.
We're looking for something signal to help you with the other people coming around.
And if somebody asks what's happening, they're like, somebody's going to get hurt real bad.
Not somebody.
We know exactly who.
And it arrives with who.
That was good.
Yo, how did, if y'all don't know what we're talking about, the Nazis took their swastika sign from a Hindu sign.
Yeah, like prosperity, I think.
Prosperity, joy, happiness, something like that.
I don't know how they got that.
And also, how can you have like a white supremacy race when you're taking ideas from clearly non-white people?
That's a good point.
I mean, that's how you should have known the Nazi shit from the jump was bullshit.
If they didn't have the internet to tell people this is a Hindi, like the worlds are so disconnected.
You don't think Hitler knew that that was something?
Hitler knew, but America didn't know.
Say what?
America didn't know.
No, but Hitler knew.
Yeah, Hitler knew.
But people who were believing his shit didn't know.
But how do you say Hitler in an Indian accent?
Hitler.
So I hung out with Bash in Canada.
Shout out to Bash, man.
Shouts to Bash.
That's the guy who created the Discord.
Oh, I talked to the Discord, Al.
We got some questions for you.
But Bash first was telling me, like, I tried to speak Hindi to him.
He's like, oh, we got some.
He was like, yo, can you not?
Can you just speak English to me?
Your accent in Hindi is really bad.
I was like, have you heard your accent in English, motherfucker?
Would you think this shit is sexy?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Yo, Bash, you got to figure out that English, bro.
Come on, dog.
You speak English too good.
But what's this I hear about Al Midgets?
You got your fucking midgets?
I wanted to try it out.
Okay, he owned it.
I thought it was good.
All right, fair enough.
Hold on.
You've never fucked a midget?
Nah, and I want to know what it's like.
Oh, son.
Oh, you have?
Yeah.
How is it?
It's kind of like if you attach some chicken tenders to a fleshlight.
That's what it feels like, to be honest.
Son, when you do it, say again.
When'd you do it?
I was in Disney World.
You lying.
You did out of Disney World.
Yeah.
You were it?
You fucked in Disney World?
Yeah, I fucked a midget in Disney World.
Come on, It was your wife and the seven dwarves, and I took one of the dwarves.
So, you don't want to know you're not curiously?
I don't know.
I'm not sure about this story.
I'm maybe not.
But, yo, but the interesting thing about dwarves is their pussies are regular size.
That's what I want to know.
I don't believe it.
Well, that's what she told me, so I didn't feel that.
Yeah, I don't think it is.
Eddie Murphy got a joke about how he almost fucked a midget.
And what happened?
He chose a tranny instead?
Yeah.
Yeah, he didn't.
He said he didn't in the joke.
Like, that's the worst thing he fucked.
I was just helping him, Jack.
Man, what happens with famous black dudes?
They just love picking up trannies, bro.
I mean, that's the sign you made it.
Maybe they just want to sit next to somebody who will get oppressed more than them in a car.
Whoa.
You know that Curb episode where Larry picked up a hooker for the HOV lane?
So you could take the carpool lane.
You haven't seen that?
Dude, that episode freed a person on death row.
Someone was on death row for murder, and his alibi was: I was at the Yankees game, Dodgers Yankees or something.
And the police force or whoever just kept not believing him.
I think he even had his ticket stubbed.
He had all this shit.
And they just kept being like, Yeah, but how do we know you're actually there?
How do we know he didn't get that ticket stuff from somebody else?
Tries thing after thing after thing.
And then randomly, his lawyer, he remembered randomly, like, oh, they were filming something.
There's a documentary about it on Netflix, apparently.
I haven't seen it.
I read the story years ago.
But like, I remember people were filming something that day.
Can you call me through the footage?
I read an article.
Yeah, I read an article, guys.
You be reading, bro.
You be reading.
I read that article on my phone sometime.
I don't know.
I'll eat a break.
But I'm checking out five-minute reads on you.
This motherfucker signed up to the Atlantic.
Yo, speak more Spanish.
Speak more Spanish.
But the lawyer looked through footage and there was a that you randomly see that guy like he had to go get concessions or something, and they were, they weren't gonna let anybody in.
But they're like, all right fine, you can come go through.
And he like brushes by Larry David's shoulder.
So, like on a complete chance, you see him walk by Larry David they know when they're filming and insane in the episode.
In the episode he's like an.
He basically just looks like an extra, like I think he's leaving actually as Larry David or he's coming back to a seat as Larry David is leaving, something like that.
And they're like, all right fine, go back to your seat.
You're not supposed to, we're not supposed to let anybody do this, but go ahead.
So he brushes by Larry David and that's what saves his life.
How crazy is that?
Wow, that's dope, that's crazy.
I thought that they used that as an example.
Like someone was like, no, I also picked up a hooker in the HOV lane.
No no no, no.
He saved this episode, saved someone, saved a guy's life, was accused of murder on death row.
Now he could have still done it, but he also went.
No, because the exact time it happened he was at the game.
He said he was with his son, so like there's no way.
And even then they tried to make it like you could have.
It was like a an hour away where the person got killed.
They they yeah, whoa.
Yeah, that's crazy crazy um, but anyway uh, maybe Eddie was just picking up the hooker, so like look, if the cops, if we get pulled over, I want the cops to hit someone more than me this the 80s or 90s, or maybe he had alcohol or like drugs in the car.
Oh, so he was like well, this is hookole distractor, or this tram looks like you stop at trans.
Like if you're, if you're a cop and you stop someone.
They got a tranny hooker in there.
They're not gonna look for the coke right, and I don't think you get any time for trannies.
No, I don't think.
I don't think, do you?
I don't know?
Oh my gosh, how does it work?
Oh man, I don't think it's either.
Can you legally do that?
Yo, you're an idiot, i'm being serious.
Can you legally do that?
Because there's certain things you can't legally do, right?
Like what?
Well, you can't have sex with your dog.
Okay.
Okay.
I see your point.
There's a law against that?
Huh?
There's a law against that.
Well, I was young.
I think that, you know, we should forgive things that happened a long time ago.
Got you.
Okay.
We're not part of cancel culture here in the podcast.
It was also a big dog.
Yeah, you dick, you dickless dog.
And I put the ridge in that back.
But no, in all seriousness, I didn't mean it was illegal because it was a tranny.
I meant it was illegal because it was a hooker.
Hooker.
But I wonder if there's a bigger fine because it's a tranny.
Also, do you think they get in trouble for lying to the cops?
You're not cooperating.
You injured yourself.
Yeah, like the trainies, they're like, I'm a lady.
And they're like, please tell us what you are.
I'm a lady.
He's like, okay, you're lying to them.
If you're lying about something this small, who knows what else?
Who would you really laugh at?
Anyway, guys, wait, where were we with this?
We had just finished our flagrant thoughts.
Was that flagrant thought?
All right, we got somewhere.
Thank you for getting us somewhere.
Actually, that was a phenomenal flagrant thought.
Oh, gosh.
Hey, man.
You got us where we needed to be.
Okay.
We got a lot of time.
I just want to check in with everybody.
I hope everybody at home is doing okay.
You know, if you need some advice what to do in the quarantine and you need some advice about what to do, how to prepare properly, etc., just go check out the quarantine pods.
Alex and I have been dropping.
Andrew called the quarantine.
Hey, man, we knew it was going to happen.
It is inevitable.
What you see happening in Europe and Italy right now is what will happen to us.
Plan now so you don't have to plan too late.
It is way easier to do.
I ask you a question that I wanted to ask you.
I understand we're tracking like on like exactly where Italy was tracking.
But in a country that's this much bigger with this many more people, not is it as big of a deal, but I guess is it as big of a deal?
I think, I mean, if you just look at it mathematically, right?
It's the same.
But percentage-wise, like percent of population infected, percent of, and also just in terms of we have so much more space for this thing that would have to cover.
There's so many more remote areas, I would assume, here than there are.
Yeah, I don't think the remote areas will get touched as much, but we also have way more dense labels.
That's populated areas.
And that's where it fucks up.
I mean, just think about it like zombies.
Yeah.
Right?
It's just like, yeah, it's easy to be in the suburbs when a zombie apocalypse is happening.
Maybe not the suburbs, but you know, like some ranch in Joshua Tree or something.
But if you're going to be in Atlanta, if you're going to be in, dude, imagine how fast those zombies are.
They just go right through your ass.
A Kenyan zombie will never stop chasing you.
Ever, ever, ever.
You get in a fucking Honda and drive to the Congo and he'll still just be right behind you.
Dude, Jason got to be African, bro.
Do you know that Jason Voorhees?
Oh, yeah.
Because that motherfucker stamina is unbelievable.
He don't go fast, but he's just power walking behind you.
He does not stop coming.
He does not stop coming like all you Italians on free porn hub for the next month.
Yo, these guys are singing out on balconies, man.
They're doing it all right.
I think that singing shit is cute for like a week and then eventually you're like, yo, shut the fuck up.
I would have told him, shut the fuck up off right.
I think New Yorkers, we would have, if somebody was out there like, it's up to you.
Shut up, Maggie.
I think immediately, we ain't got time for that.
Put some noise, canceling headphones on, play some Call of Duty, get your life together.
But yeah, why were we saying this?
The Italy.
Oh, yeah.
We just wanted to check up on y'all.
Make sure y'all good, man.
And if it can help in any way, do that.
And I think pass it around.
I think that can always be helpful.
If the podcast, not the disease.
Yeah.
The disease is going to go no matter what.
Yeah.
You're going to get that.
No matter what.
How's everybody doing like exercise-wise, staying fit?
Since we're all like, every gym is down.
You just got to start jogging.
That's all you can do.
Yeah, well, there's like these in-home exercises that we can do.
Oh, that's right.
And I think if you get some like little weights or even those like, what are those called?
Those little rubber band things.
I think you can simulate a lot of that kind of stuff.
But for me, it's just heart rate.
I got to get my heart rate up.
Yeah.
You know, but yeah, so some interesting things happening, obviously, because of the quarantine and also the fucking coronavirus is sports are done.
Yeah.
Good thing we only focus on sports on this podcast.
I want all the listeners to complain like, y'all not doing enough sports all.
Keep that same energy, yo.
Yes.
Keep that same energy with ESPN.
Keep this when they're giving you the fucking top five best health defender list.
Them bullshit ass they are struggling for struggle.
They are struggling to keep the content up.
Top five broom handlers in Carl Height and Curling.
Nothing, yo.
Curling?
It's nothing.
Yeah, no, it's bad.
It's looking bad out there.
So ESPN, CNN, the same network right now.
All y'all doing both of you is talking about Corona.
Yes.
That's it.
You got to hope that trades happen.
You got to hope that new guys get Corona.
They're hoping every day a new NBA player gets Corona or a new NFL player gets Corona.
How is more NFL players not gotten Corona?
They're not even in the season.
I don't know.
Probably because they don't see as many people because they're about to be homeless with this shitty ass CBA they sign up.
All right, let's stop pay some bills real quick.
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Ed wants to tell me something right now.
What's up, Doug?
I actually want to give a shout out to a fan.
Oh, yeah, let's do it.
Michael hates Mike 2.
So he sent me a video.
Right.
Apparently, Raddix is down the block from him.
Oh, in Austin.
Yeah.
And he went to say, what's up?
Throw up the asshole.
And they were like, yo, let's show you some love and gave him a couple of products.
That's what I'm doing.
And let me tell you, they also sent over the beard oil for you guys for my half beard.
And that shit grows in.
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Now, let's get back to the show.
Now, they signed a new CBA.
I didn't look it over.
Akash, you've been looking it over.
Now, I've been looking it over, and I'm not the best with like the actual details.
I just know this was a shit deal.
Right.
Couple things off the bat.
Why is that shit?
I'll tell you a couple things off the bat to let you know it's not a good deal.
Is the owners were all saying what a great deal it is for the players, which is automatically, I'm a little bit suspicious.
And then it's a 10-year deal with no opt-out.
If I'm any human being and I think, you know what, I'm probably giving away too much on this deal.
Would I also say, but you can't get out of it for 10 years?
The last, they opted.
The owners opted out of the last CBA, I think, and then gave offered this one.
If they opted out, it obviously wasn't.
It wasn't like, hey, we're not being nice enough to the players.
These are NFL owners.
I think disability, they've decreased the amount of disability pay for people.
And they said, we increase your pensions for minimum salary players.
That's barely any money.
They've decreased disability pay, which is a problem in a game where you risk your life and narrowed the scope of what a disability is.
So that's a massive problem.
There's a lot of injuries that are going to be like, oh, it's not a disability anymore.
You're about low IQ.
Can that be a disability?
Bro, you know what?
You've been saying it for the longest, and I don't feel bad for the NFL players anymore.
No, they're retarded.
And here's what also is fucked, though.
A lot of them apparently initially just jumped at increased minimum salaries and they heard increased minimum.
Okay, let's do it.
I like that actually.
But then Eric Reids had an independent lawyer look at it and he pointed out all these flaws and a lot of them wanted to change their vote.
And the NFL Players Association said, no, you can't change your vote.
That's fucking foul to me.
DeMorris Smith.
And to me, he already negotiated a shitty deal.
They had 50-something percent of revenue sharing before.
Then they dropped it to 47.
And now the owners with this deal are like, oh, it's going to go up to 48.5.
What a win for you guys.
And every network is acting like it's such a great deal.
And that's another reason I don't trust any of these fucking networks.
NFL Players Are Retarded00:05:53
Networks and cahoots with the owners.
Yeah.
And I remember the initial offer was for the 17th gay.
Well, gay, gay, for the 17th game, 17th gay, if you're.
See if you can fit that mic in your mouth.
I'll fit that all the way to the wire.
All right, go on.
For the 17th game, they said, we'll pay you a per game contract.
You're going to gay again.
No, I think I said game.
Oh, you said game.
Okay.
Appreciate it.
17th, I'm a homo.
You got it.
17th, I'm homosexual.
You got to per game pay.
They just do it, but they cap it at 250.
So if you made less than 250 a game, you'll make the same amount.
If you made Russell Wilson money, $2 million a game, oh, you get $250,000 per game.
So where does all that extra money go?
They initially did away with that, and now your gay is like per game or whatever.
Now it's like, it's adjusted normally.
But just off rip, you're going to tell me that's a good deal and this is what you are offering me?
Yeah.
And you're telling me it's fair?
Like, no chance.
But you're allowed to smoke weed now.
Yeah, that's another thing these fucking retards jumped at.
What?
We can smoke weed.
Let's go.
Like, big deal, dog.
Everybody's going to be able to smoke weed in the next three years.
Yeah, I think, but I do think it's good because I think they'll be able to play through pain more.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Sure.
That you won't get punished for, but you could have got that regardless.
Do you think they would have given that?
So is it legal to smoke weed in the NFL now, or you just can't get fined for it?
If you get suspended, you can still get, you can still, if you get arrested for smoking weed, then you get suspended for getting arrested.
They're just not testing for it.
And you won't get punished if you test positively for marijuana, actually.
That's what it is.
We'll do drug tests.
If you test positively for marijuana, no suspension.
Maybe you can get fined.
I don't even know about that.
I guess what I'm saying is, can they smoke weed or not?
Yes.
If they're smoking weed in their house or in states where it's legal, you're good.
But the team itself, like, I don't think the Patriots are going to let them smoke weed.
I think if a player gets tested, not like in the locker room.
Oh, they're just not going to test.
They do drug tests, but if you get test positive for, if you test positive for cocaine, that's a problem.
Yeah.
If you test positive for marijuana, no suspension.
Yeah.
That's fine.
That's the amendment they made.
Okay.
Fair enough.
That's reasonable.
It's reasonable.
Yeah, there's one thing that I put together based on this last week.
And that is that athletes don't get paid enough.
Yeah.
When you take away sports, you see how responsible they are for the distraction that we need on a day-to-day basis.
Yeah.
It is mind-boggling.
So we look and we're like, oh my God, getting LeBron making $30 million a year.
He's making too much money.
No, he's not.
He's making too little money.
Think about how boring our fucking life.
People were watching a marble race on Twitter.
Did you guys see that?
No.
And it was scintillating.
Dude, they just let these marbles go down this track.
I watched two minutes of it straight because there's nothing to fucking watch.
There's nothing competitive.
There's nothing.
And LeBron is.
There's a lot of other things you could have watched other than the difference between, that's 90 seconds.
The difference between that and LeBron is the Marble Race is two minutes.
The playoff game is two hours.
And the drama that goes around it, right?
The conversations, the hypotheticals, all these types of things.
It is just.
If you think athletes make too much money, explain all the people that make their living talking about athletes.
Like there's an entire ESPN was at one point an empire built on talking about athletes.
Yes.
I bet the head of ESPN made more than LeBron's salary.
Oh, for sure.
100%.
As he should.
He has to make much tougher decisions.
I'm not saying what's right or wrong.
No, but we're saying athletes can get paid more.
I'm not saying ESPN gets paid too much.
We can pay athletes more.
Right, right, right.
We could just based on how important they are.
But I think sometimes you need to like remove somebody to see how they're important they are to you.
You know what I mean?
It's like breaking up with a girl.
Like those, that first week, you see what they really supplied you in your life and how they made you feel.
And I think we're feeling that now with like sports.
Like, yeah, we knew we loved it, but I don't think we realize how much we loved it.
And yeah, I don't know.
Maybe we'll have a different perspective moving on.
Maybe we'll come back and we'll be like way more on the player side than the owner's side.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I was on the player's side for the longer, but like just this.
I respect owners only because I understand what it is to like put up money for shit.
And it is different.
It's like, I think at the end of the day, not everybody wants to put up a billion dollars.
And not everybody wants to be on the hook for payment.
And not everybody wants that responsibility.
It's easy to be like, I deserve more money.
But right now, we're right now we're in the situation of a perfect situation.
When a pandemic happens or some kind of like, you know, international tragedy, those owners, I mean, they might not be on the hook for everything, but they're still on the hook.
Like those owners got to do the right thing and pay their staff and they got to take care of all these things.
So it's like the players, some of them are stepping up and doing that, but that's not their responsibility.
Yeah.
Right.
If you're an owner, that's your responsibility.
So it's like, yeah, maybe these owners are making all this money and stuff like that.
But if shit hits the fan, they got a lot of people to pay while they're not making any money.
Yes.
And people need to put that in perspective because while it looks like you were out there getting fat, you could get real slim real quick when you're not still generating revenue and you've got 10,000 people to pay.
So I don't begrudge any side of any deal for trying to get the best deal ever.
I don't think anybody's self.
That's what we all do.
That's what you're supposed to do.
Try to win the deal.
I think the difference is you employ a few people.
You have already told, even on the podcast, I think like, I've set aside money that if shit gets slim, I can still take care of them.
These are my people.
There's a heart to it.
And you're fired.
Alex, he takes care of you.
I mean, he takes care of the person he loves.
Yes.
Owners, the NFL owners don't seem to do that at all.
They don't seem to give a fuck.
NBA owners kind of give a fuck.
NFL owners don't give a half a fuck.
Owners Don't Give A Fuck00:02:05
And that's kind of a problem.
But also, I'm blaming the players right now.
And the NFL PA in particular.
Y'all are fucking losers, man.
Y'all wouldn't let them revote.
If the deal sucks, let them revote.
Yeah.
I mean, that's also on the NFL players for just having such like a retarded deal.
But when you're, you know, when you just don't have a lot of guys who are educating.
And yeah, you trust your unions.
You trust like there's a lot of agents.
There are a lot of contracts we'll sign that we just kind of trust our agents.
That's our rep. Yeah, if he says it's a good deal, we don't know all the fucking mumbo jumbo of it.
And I get it.
I mean, I hate reading contracts, so I can't imagine a guy who can't read so yeah, what he goes through.
Like, imagine a guy who's just illiterate.
Can you imagine trying to understand a 200-page document with CTE?
Bro, come on, DeBric-Ashaw Ferguson.
You think he could read?
You know what I mean?
Parents can barely write.
You got an apostrophe in the immediately the beginning of your word.
You're not French.
You know what I mean?
Debrico Shaw?
Come on.
But yeah, that was one thing I thought was people getting it tough, man.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
Teach y'all a little something about wearing a shirt and not looking like an asshole.
Okay?
An asshole in a bad way.
I mean, we could always keep a tie on this show and look like an asshole in a good way, of course.
But you're out here, you're wearing these button-down shirts.
I understand.
You want to look business cash.
I understand.
You got to impress your girlfriend's father and mother or something.
You want to look professional, but you don't want to be all tucked in.
Maybe you don't own a belt that you're proud of.
You have it untucked, but you're wearing shirts that are button-downs.
They're not meant to be worn untucked.
Well, if there was only a company that could be worn untucked, I don't know what sound effect that was, but we're going to keep on rolling regardless.
Untuck it.
Untuck it is a company.
It makes button-down shirts to be worn untucked.
So you don't look like an idiot when you have it untucked.
Fit your body perfectly.
They're cut to hang appropriately when untucked.
Look Business Cash00:06:53
You can be business cash whenever you want.
Okay.
You can go out there in the world without a nice belt.
I mean, honestly, who has a nice belt?
I've got this Army, Navy surplus plastic-looking leather.
It's horrible, but I dropped my shirt over it and I'm good to go.
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And let's get back to business.
Hoes are getting hit hard.
These horse.
Why do hoes get hit on?
Dude, imagine you're a stripper.
Imagine you're a sugar baby.
So sugar daddy has a sugar baby.
Yeah.
Like that's over.
Sugar babies can't get taken out to dinner no more.
Sugar babies can't get taken to the island on vacation.
Sugar babies can't get taken to the game and sit courtside.
Like all these bitches that made their money based on being fucked, right?
In certain ways, or at least like being around people that were fucking.
Like there are tons of these girls that make their money.
People don't realize this shit.
Thoughts are going to take it on a fucking head.
And I actually don't feel bad.
All these girls did.
Ain't they been doing that?
They take it.
So all these girls, right?
They that like go out to the club to pay their rent.
Yeah.
Right?
So they'll do like these model houses, right?
Where like 15 girls live in one apartment and they all have like roommates and shit.
And they got to go to the club two to three nights a week.
And that's their trade.
So they pretend to be a model during the week or try to be a model during the week, but their rent is paid by going to the club at night.
Well, the club's close.
You think those promoters are going to keep spending $10,000 a month on those apartments that you guys are living in?
Fuck.
The club's close.
You're close.
Right?
You want to go to those promoter dinners?
Ain't no more promoter dinners because the restaurants are closed.
Right?
You remember how you talked about in Chernobyl?
The dudes just took over because so many guys died.
The ones that were left were getting all the baddest bitches.
Talking about Russia after World War II.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's about to be the same situation because there's suddenly a flood of hoes looking for dudes to take care of them.
Oh, yeah.
Not that many rich dudes, especially because a recession is coming that can take care of you.
That's interesting.
So if you know you're one of 60, 15 side chicks, you just got to put up with that.
Yo, honestly, the level of pussy that you're getting right now, if you're a single guy, it's about to go way up.
It's about to skyrocket because all those dudes, all those finance dudes that were spending all the money and having four or five like dime piece chicks in their little rotation, they're broke now.
All their money was in the market.
That's gone.
So those girls aren't getting supported by them.
So they got to go.
And they got to drop their standards down.
Matter of fact, you're going to drop your standards down to a dude who's got guaranteed income.
You work for the state.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay.
Policemen, firemen, garbage men.
Hey, they need it.
They deserve it.
No, they deserve this.
They deserve it.
Okay.
Because they out there in the streets still, Al, you don't work for the state no more.
I'm just saying.
You work for the Schultz.
I'm happy for my people.
But real talk.
Old Color motherfuckers are about to get some shit.
I really believe that they're going to step it up because those are the dudes are going to be guaranteed.
Those are the dudes that health insurance is unwavering.
Those are the dudes that are going to have that check no matter what.
They never live too far above their means.
There's a lot of motherfuckers living way above their means, and now their means is getting questionable.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
So those girls are going to have to go somewhere.
They want to be taken care of still.
They're going to have to adjust their lifestyle.
You know what I mean?
You're going from red bottoms to flip-flops, bitch.
You want to be flippity-flopping them, bitch.
Red bottom to flat-bottom, bitch.
That's what it is, bitch.
Do you know what I mean?
Red bottom to apple bottom.
Nelly, bring it back.
Nelly was talking about bringing back apple bottles.
This is the time.
It might really be the time.
They're on clearance right now.
The hoes or the jeans.
Hey, everything's on sale.
It is true, man.
It is true.
I mean, hookers, how could you make your living as an escort right now?
Well, I mean, they're probably still kicking everybody's home.
So you just.
But you got Corona.
They don't care.
You're a hooker.
You think they care about Corona, son?
No, I don't think they care, but the person that they're fucking might, because the person that they're fucking, first of all, they're not going to fuck at home.
Like, think about it.
If you're a high-class hooker, right?
Let me hit you with this.
You're a high-class hooker.
You're not fucking in your crib because your wife and kids are in a crib.
You on business all the time.
That's where you're not going to get it.
You turn the tricks or get the tricks or whatever the world.
Why aren't you fucking a hotel?
Ain't no hotels.
Shut down.
Hotels are shut down?
They got to.
Nobody's traveling.
They got to shut down.
100%.
So now these high-class hookers are staying in their nice spot that they can afford by fucking a few times a week.
You got to understand, like, if you live in a life that way where you are fucking people to make enough money to pay your rent, you're not like putting money away in a 401k.
No.
Right?
You're like, I'm going to figure this shit out later.
Like a lot of strippers are, I'm going to figure this shit out later.
Some strippers put money away.
They start a business, you know?
But most are like, I'm going to figure this shit out later.
Drug dealers, I'm going to figure this shit out later.
It's going to be, it's going to be a very sticky situation for a lot of these people.
And they can't lean on the government.
If you had a job, you could lean on the government because you have proof of income.
You've been paying into some sort of job security.
Yeah.
I even asked my business manager today.
I was like, because obviously I have you guys all on a form of payroll, but you're getting paid as independent contractors.
So I can't lean on the government.
Right?
If I was paying you guys as employees, like you weren't freelance, then I could be like, hey, you know, shit is different.
Can you hook it up?
Blah, blah, blah.
And that's what a lot of these companies are going to do.
So you're going to get bailed out.
It's going to be crazy out there, man.
It's going to be, yo, if you got disposable income, dispose that shit in the market.
Just keep putting money in slowly.
I think they keep going down.
No, I wouldn't put money in yet.
Put a little money in now.
I think you keep winning.
I think you put a little money in at a time.
Because trying to time out exactly when the bottom is, you almost never win doing that.
But if you put money in now, it's at 21,000 right now as of today, or 20 even.
It's going to go up to 25.
So if you wait till it goes to like, let's say 15,000, which would be really bad, you'll make more than you would if you invested at 20.
But either way, you make money.
So just keep slowing.
You know what?
When you get in now, you could do it.
I was told, and we were talking about this when the quarantine pod, but I was told you got to look for indicators of when to get in the market.
Put Money In Slowly00:10:47
And my buddy was like, the best indicator is if JFK closes.
That will be the bottom.
Ooh.
So keep that in mind, y'all.
And again, this is coming from someone who's financially illiterate, so take it with a grain of salt.
But if JFK closes, that could be the marker.
You want to look for big markers, right?
Because if JFK closes, that means the economy in the U.S. is grinding to a halt and it's not going to turn back on until JFK opens back up.
That's a great point.
So look for the halt.
Right now, they're doing everything to not quarantine us, right?
They're like saying you can't go to bars and restaurants.
Yeah.
Right?
That's basically saying stay home.
But if they say stay home, it spooks the market.
Then everybody sells.
Everybody yanks.
Yeah.
They're like, how long am I going to have to be in here for?
Yeah.
Right?
So they're trying to do whatever they can to not spook the market right now.
JFK closes, throw a couple dollars in that bitch.
You might do all right.
Yeah.
Well, there is, even though there's no sports, there has been some interesting sports news going on.
There's a big trade in football.
Can you make any sense of this trade?
Break this.
I can't understand.
So, from what I understand, the Houston Texans, they have a wide receiver.
This is NFL football called his name is DeAndre Hopkins.
He is the best receiver in the league.
He's really fucking good.
I think they were about to have to pay him a ton of money.
Now, personally, I think franchise him.
Yeah, you franchise him.
There's solutions.
Also, if you have a young, we say wide receivers are generally useless.
And to a large degree, they are.
I think they're a little bit more valuable than when you have a younger quarterback.
They're more than more than I think.
Also, I think they're definitely more valuable than the position they traded for.
But also, when you have a young quarterback, it makes it way easier in the time while he's learning the game if he has a fucking phenomenal receiver to just throw it up to everyone.
Because he can build confidence.
And I don't understand everything yet.
And this is a nice escape hatch I have.
And then as I learn the game, I don't need this guy as much because I know what's going on.
Yeah.
So if you have Deshaun Watson, who's good and is still going to be good, it's really nice, though, to have DeAndre Hopkins.
I think that that makes perfect sense.
Let me ask you a question.
Can I finish the terms of the deal right now?
Go, They traded for a running back who, by all accounts, is washed on the.
Let me ask you a question about DeAndre before we get into Johnson.
So, yes, it helps Kyler Murray, who's the Cardinals quarterback.
Yes.
And he is coming into second year quarterback.
Okay.
Helps Kyler Murray.
Here's my issue.
What is the biggest problem with wide receivers?
They are placeable?
Divas.
Divas.
Ah, yeah.
Usually the biggest problem.
Right.
Right?
You have to deal with their attitude.
If you have a quarterback that is not good enough to get the ball to Hopkins, what ends up happening?
Hopkins might mouth off.
Mike Odiva.
Might.
So while the upside is he builds the confidence in Kyler Murray, the downside, and I'm asking.
Apparently, DeAndre Hopkins is a great leader.
Like the thing I was just reading on Twitter trade just happened is people are like the Houston Texans, people are talking to me, like, we just lost the leader.
And you don't hear about Hopkins complaining in the media.
And he didn't always have a good quarterback throwing to him.
Before Deshaun Watson, I don't even remember who the fuck they had, but their problem forever was they never had a good quarterback until Deshaun Watson.
So he never really mouthed up.
Also, how Larry Murray was the backup in the Broncos?
Case Keenum.
I think they had Keenanum.
Oh, another guy.
But they did have Case Keenum for like a bit, I think.
Brett Osweiler or whatever.
Oswiler.
Oswiler.
And he sucked.
But we thought he was good for some reason.
He looked apart.
It was like a bad one.
He looked apart.
He had a good half a year with Denver.
Got benched for Manning, and then they won the Super Bowl.
And Manning wasn't even good when he won the Super Bowl with him.
Yeah, but he could manage.
But he could manage.
But if you're not even as good as, I don't know why the Texans signed him to a deal, but they traded Deshaun DeAndre Hopkins for a second-round pick.
Yeah.
And David Johnson, who is a running back that is, by all accounts, washed.
The only position more replaceable than wide receiver is running back.
I don't like the Cowboys signing their running back, Ezekiel Elliott, to a massive deal because everybody says you don't need to pay a running back a lot or draft a running back high.
Matter of fact, the San Francisco running attack that was so good this year, no good running back, like no high-pick running backs.
They were undrafted free agents.
The Chiefs, no first-round, second-round draft picks.
I remember some saying that Miko even said is number one thing is a guy who can throw the ball.
Number two, a guy who can get to the guy who can throw the ball.
Number three, a guy who can catch the ball.
Number four, a guy who can cover the guy who can catch the ball.
That's how you get.
What about the offensive line?
Offensive line.
Oh, no.
That's number three.
Sorry.
A guy who can protect the guy who throws the ball.
Yes.
So lines first and then receiver and then corner.
I just don't think you have to be that good as a quarterback.
And again, I don't know as much as you do.
I'm not as good.
And Brian brought this up.
Another reason receivers don't have to be as good is the rules all benefit receivers, though.
Of course, yeah.
Every interference call is going the way of the receiver.
So you need a more skilled corner because he got more to work against.
No, no, I understand that with the corners.
I understand paying corners, but like my feeling is the better defensive line you have, the better corners you end up having.
Yes, absolutely.
The better offensive line, the better quarterback you end up having.
Yes.
Because at the end of the day, these are NFL quarterbacks, right?
They can make a throw.
We're not talking about some.
Ooh, can you push that in?
We're not talking about some fucking high school kids who, you know, maybe are trying to do their best to figure shit out, right?
We're talking about the cream of the crop quarterbacks in the world.
Yes.
These are the 28 teams?
32.
32 teams?
These are the best 32 quarterbacks in the world.
Yeah.
Right?
They can make an open throw.
They might not be able to do it on the scramble.
They might not be able to get outside the pocket.
Okay.
I understand that.
But if you can protect them, I think they can get the job done.
There's a lot.
It's shocking how many bad quarterbacks there are.
There's maybe 15 to 20.
But you can make them better with an offensive line.
Obviously.
So, yeah, I would say number one is quarterback, number two, defensive line, number three, offensive line.
That's when you pay.
One more thing I'll say on the quarterback thing is Aaron Rodgers is going to be successful no matter where he goes.
Yeah.
The exceptional are the exceptional.
That's it.
Yes.
That's all I'm trying to say.
If you're exceptional, you can turn a bad situation decent.
Like, to be fair to him, Chris Paul, like, he's on a team with all bums, right?
Yeah.
But he's found a way.
Yeah.
He's exceptional enough to make that team good.
Now, he's not going to win, but he's exceptional enough to get that team into play.
He can elevate everyone around.
And I think that's what an exceptional quarterback can do.
Yes.
I think you can put a bum on the Patriots and then do well.
I think you can put a bum on certain teams and do well.
I think the 49ers are a perfect example of that.
I don't know if maybe Jimmy Garoppolo is better than he played this year.
Maybe if they actually let him throw it.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Who knows?
Maybe.
But I also think you could put pretty much anyone in Garoppolo's situation.
So to that point, the best friends of a quarterback are a good offensive line and a good running game.
Because you take the pressure off the quarterback.
Because it just, he doesn't have to throw as much.
Jimmy G can make it.
Or when you do throw, it's five yards.
Yeah.
You're not doing third and long.
But when it comes to winning Super Bowl time, you need a Patty Mahomes.
You could make it to Belichick will make it to the playoffs no matter who's quarterback next year.
Yeah.
If he wants a ring, you need a good quarterback.
Okay, I'm with you on that.
And then you saw that literally in the Super Bowl because you saw Patty Mahomes take the team, put it on his back.
Yes.
They were struggling offensively, and he's like, I'm going to go out there and I'm going to make some fucking money.
They play one long throw.
He got his confidence, loosened everything up.
Done.
21 points in the fourth quarter.
Done.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So there it is.
That's fair.
If you want to make the playoffs, you could do it with a bump.
Yeah.
If you want to excel in the playoffs, you have to invest in a quarterback.
Yes.
Yes.
I guess what I would say is I think there's more longevity in that offensive and defensive line.
So those are the first things that I would invest in.
And then I would hope that we start getting quarterbacks.
Great teams, they always say build inside out.
That's exactly what you're saying.
You need a quarterback.
You don't have the quarterback.
It's all pointless.
But good offensive line, good defensive line, and then everything else.
But do you pay linebackers before DBs?
The problem with linebackers is they're kind of like running backs where they get used up very quickly because it's a lot of high-speed collisions.
Yeah, That makes sense.
So linebacker, a lot of this also comes into who can I replace easier?
A wide receiver is already, or a running back is very valuable.
A good running attack, but I can find great running backs everywhere now.
That's what people don't realize.
You have to look at NFL teams like NASCAR.
Yeah.
Right?
Like they're looking at the team as a whole car.
And you know what?
The brake pads are falling off the brake pads of those linebackers.
Yeah.
Those linebackers aren't going to last long like brake pads.
But you know what?
We can switch them out.
We can get some new ones in there.
And the Patriots and some of these other teams who have managed to be successful for a long period of time, like the Saints have managed to be successful a lot.
Nobody talks about it really, but they've managed a decent amount of success for a long period of time.
Right.
I think they found ways to replace.
You know what?
Let's take this all the way.
Go.
The engine or the lines.
You don't have a good offensive, defensive line, your car doesn't have an engine.
Done.
The quarterback is the driver.
Richard Petty or whatever, who's the guy, Jimmy Johnson who runs a NASCAR every fucking year?
Jimmy Johnson won like five years in a row.
That's your Tom Brady.
That's your Aaron Rod.
That's what happens when you have an elite machine, elite engine with an elite driver.
Yes.
There are other people that have the same engine.
Yeah.
But they aren't the same driver.
Okay, keep going.
The pit crew is the coaching staff.
They know exactly how to manage everything that's happening.
Oh, this tire blew out.
This guy got injured.
Here's how we move around it.
And they're building your car.
And they're putting everything together.
That's the coaching staff in the front office.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
You got a great engine.
Yeah, yeah.
But what are you going to do to maximize how we can make the car lighter?
How are we going to make the car more aerodynamic?
And in this, we have a budget.
It's the salary cap is like a budget for the car.
So we might have to go cheaper on brake pads.
I know they're important, but we can save a little money there because we need to put more money into the engine.
We need to pay the driver more.
It's all balance.
Imagine one of the wheels was like, you got to pay me a third of what this car.
If the manufacturer said, you got to pay this much and it's a wheel I can replace, be out.
That's a wide receiver.
Yeah.
Now, if Jimmy Johnson is like, I need to make some money, you got to pay Jimmy Johnson.
Pay that motherfucker.
You can't win without Jimmy.
Pay that motherfucker.
We can win with different wheels.
Brake pads?
Replaceable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Balance The Engine And Driver00:11:18
Right?
Steering wheel, you can get another steering wheel.
Pretty much everything replaceable except pit crew.
You better keep that crew.
If they're the engineers making that car.
Yeah.
And somehow that doesn't factor into the budget anyway.
So fuck it.
Exactly.
Keep paying them.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's really interesting.
I think people will understand how replaceable football players are if you can give them a metaphor for other shit that's replaceable.
Yeah.
Because I think we almost look at football players through the lens of other sports.
Yeah.
We're like, well, if OBJ is the LeBron of football, then why doesn't he get paid like LeBron?
LeBron, yeah.
Because ain't no LeBron.
Because OBJ's a wheel.
First of all, I don't even have a car without four good wheels.
Son, he ain't even, he's like a rear-view mirror.
Do you know what I mean?
You know how many Puerto Ricans drive without that?
Yo, you know what?
But they got a frog covering the whole thing?
You could win without OBJ.
You could win without.
Matter of fact, he's never won.
You will.
Yeah.
Matter of fact, he might be the thing that stops you from winning.
He might be.
He's the disco ball in the rearview mirror.
He's a fucking.
It's just too much attention he wants.
That's it.
Always shining like top down.
He's the nuts that hang off the license plate in the back.
You know, they always have in trucks.
It's fun, but it weighs you down.
Now, I've been very critical of Trump, the way he's bumbled this fucking coronavirus thing.
I mean, he's done an absolutely horrible job with it.
Absolutely awful.
But he did one thing that I think is hilarious.
What's that?
Because he called it the Chinese virus during a briefing today.
He called it the Chinese virus.
Is he wrong?
No, it is.
He also said the Chinese, he says the U.S. is seeing a potential recession.
No shit, Helen Keller.
I mean, you got some real fucking foresight to figure out that the U.S. is experiencing recession.
No way.
There's a potential that comics will have to move their shows because it's been happening since Friday.
Son, I just want to point out, this is so funny.
All those comics out there that have been rejecting social media, all those comics are like, I'm not a YouTube comic.
I'm not an Instagram comic.
I'm going to say, first of all, if they haven't already gotten on board, if they haven't already gotten on board, and most of them have gotten on board, people that were talking all their little shit, they're already on board.
But if they haven't, knock, knock, knock dinosaur.
It's fucking coming.
Okay?
Extinction level event for comics that don't know how to use social media or won't adopt social media, YouTube, these types of things.
It's over for you.
There's no more spots.
You're two months without spot pay, maybe longer.
Yeah.
You'll literally starve to death.
Yeah.
You'll be driving for Uber Eats or Postman.
Tim Dylan said something funny, which is like, what do you say?
Most of you comics aren't talented anyway.
This is the time to move back with your parents and get that college degree that you've shunned for so long.
And then he said, for you, the virus is the cure.
Yo, go check out Tim, man.
Tim's got a great podcast, the Tim Dillon podcast.
Funny motherfucker.
Yo, what if, you know, I was wondering?
Maybe this has been floated.
What if this whole virus is Bernie Bros trying to get their man elected?
But why would that help him?
Because he's the only one right now that seems like he has any kind of any solution in mind, which is free healthcare.
If healthcare is free, it wouldn't have been so hard to get these tests done.
All the shit that we're having trouble with.
By the way, I flew in from Canada.
First of all, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law went to India before everything got crazy, flew back the day Trump announced national emergency.
He said, We walked right off the plane.
Not just because we're U.S. citizens.
There's people behind us where they asked, are you U.S. citizens?
They said no.
And they said, all right, go ahead.
Didn't do anything.
He said, when I went to India, third world country, as soon as we got off the plane, they checked everybody's temperature just to see something.
If you have something.
When I landed from Montreal last night, not only did I not even, I didn't even go through customs.
They dropped me off in a domestic terminal and I just walked through the corner.
Well, you do customs in Canada.
But most of the time, I do customs both.
No.
When I leave India, I leave from customs.
Not when you're going Canada to U.S.
So Canada, you always do it over there.
It's just easier because they're like, well, we don't want to fly your ass back if you actually try to sneak in.
Wouldn't this be the time to do something, though?
Son, yes, you're 100% right.
And Yeah, I love it.
I mean, the checking the temperature thing, it just seems like a no-brainer.
So easy.
It's so easy.
Just check everybody's temperature.
I mean, Alex had an interesting idea about doing like private shows here.
And what we just do at the front door is we just check everybody's temperature.
If your shit is a little hot, be going fat.
Go away.
I mean, what do you think about that idea?
I think it's a great idea.
I think you almost even have to space them out in line, though.
Yeah.
Don't line up too close to each other, even.
Well, yeah, but the other thing, the problem with the checking the temperature shit is like you could have it, but not show any symptoms.
That's the scary thing.
So right now you seem somewhat normal, even though we know that you have coronavirus.
And we're going to find out a week from now when you start showing them some.
I really hope you get it first.
Sorry?
I really hope you get it first.
I'm not going to get it first.
I ride a motorcycle.
I hope somebody sneezed out the car window and she just flew right in the fucking forehead.
I'm going to have a motorcycle helmet by Wednesday.
By Wednesday?
Yeah.
Son, what the fuck?
Do you have a motorcycle or do you have a moped?
I need to mop.
I have a moped.
I have a motorcycle.
It's right out there.
You walk by it when you're leaving.
You didn't see the motorcycles when you walked out.
You ain't no motorcycle if you can walk it this far.
It has wheels, Akash.
So does a moped.
Yeah, but it's not a moped.
I have motorcycles.
You got the Mexican delivery bike.
Man, don't say that.
Much is way more fire.
Eden been on that bike.
No, Eden wrote that here.
Yo, please.
You said you're going to buy Eden a bike.
Please buy him that exact bike.
I was going to buy him the Don Quixote version.
Do you know how Don Quixote is on like a donkey?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so we're going to get like the donkey version.
You know, those little ones with the little wheels and the little CVR bikes, the Puerto Ricans were driving around.
That's what he's going to do.
Oh, please do.
Big old thighs warming it up.
But no, I want to get him a bike, bro.
Eden says he's leaving us, dog, for the coronavirus.
Yeah, he got to.
Yo, everybody, are you really going to leave us?
Are you going to keep coming and just do this?
I'll probably pass by.
Don't.
You really don't understand how this goes, bro.
Yo, yo, Eden got shit.
He got to take care of with family.
You take care of that.
I know.
I'm nobody mad at you.
No, no, we're here to support you.
We're just trying to give you the best possible situation that you want to do.
I appreciate it.
Oh, by the way, some news in San Francisco's on complete lockdown.
24-hour lockdown, bro.
Complete.
I like that.
Think of all the KY jelly they're about to go through tonight.
That's the thing that's most touches there, not Purell.
There's still Purell everywhere.
It's just KY.
Hey, can we be honest?
We want to have a flagrant thought.
When they said, what U.S. city do you think is locked down first?
Yeah.
Which one of us didn't think San Francisco?
Who?
When they said what city are you going to have the biggest problem from Wuhan?
The Wuhan virus.
Didn't we all think it's going to be San Francisco?
What the fuck is the Wuhan?
That's the fucking corona.
It's the name of the thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait a minute.
There's too many negatives in that question.
Didn't we think?
Didn't we all predict this would happen?
San Francisco be the first city to shut down.
Because there's so many Chinese.
Yes, bro.
It's a lot of Wuhans out there.
I wasn't thinking that.
Wuhans, name of probably 13 restaurants in San Francisco.
That's a fact.
Wuhan Dynasty.
Yo.
Yo.
And you know that we're stuffing those egg rolls in their mouths.
Wait, keep going about the egg rolls.
Did I miss it?
No.
I thought we were going somewhere with the egg roll.
Just because they're like dicks.
You know what I mean?
Oh, God.
Son, I fucked up.
I was like, is it caught through egg rolls?
I didn't know what was going on.
At the end of the day, the bomb is on me.
What can you do?
Brown guy's bombing again.
Now, yo, I keep calling my Muslim friends and I'm like, this is crazy, right?
And they're like, yeah, this is wild.
And I go, how does it feel about being on the other end of terrorism for once?
Is this considered terrorism?
I don't know.
It seems like it.
Is China terrorizing us?
Bio-terrorizing?
I don't know.
I mean, it doesn't seem like they mean to do it, but they're not doing much to not do it.
Right?
Like, if you keep doing these markets where you're just selling any sort of animal, it's going to keep happening, right?
That's where SARS came from, MERS came from.
All them shits came from that shit.
I feel like they're finally going to shut it down.
Can you shut down anything in China?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you shut down shit in Chinatown.
Yeah, but that's because they come here and they got freedom and they act however they want.
The Chinese government, they handle that shit in a very not freedom-like way.
They got that dictatorship.
Yeah, for sure.
I need better taste.
It's OCDS, motherfucker.
He's like, oh, it's going to bother me.
No, there's a self-portrait.
You got to take care of it.
There's a stopped weed testing in the NBA.
You guys saw this?
In the NBA.
Oh.
Did you see that?
So they said they're not going to do any weed testing during the quarantine for Corona.
It's basically Adam Silver going, all right, smoke some weed.
You're not playing ball.
Yeah.
Which I think is cool.
It's great.
Because they don't test in the summer.
No.
Like, you can smoke weed in the summer if you're an NBA player.
The least you could do is give them like reasonable shit that they can handle.
They should just let them smoke, period.
During a season, like, come on.
That's like that dinosaur mentality.
Yeah.
He's the most aggressive of all the owners.
And I heard this point on the ticket.
It seemed like all the other owners waited for Adam Silver, all the other commissioners, I mean, waited for Adam Silver to make a decision before they followed suit.
Once he said season is canceled, then NCAA said we're canceling.
Then hockey said we're canceling.
Then MLB said we're postponing.
Then.
Is WrestleMania still happening?
Yo, they've been doing wrestling without fans, and that's the weirdest shit ever.
But wait, are they going to do?
I know they've been doing like fights without fans.
I would assume so.
Is WrestleMania still going to be on or no?
I wish we had a wrestling expert.
Yeah, I wish we had a wrestling expert or maybe someone with a laptop that could look shit up.
So yeah, we're checking right now, Eden.
Thank you.
Jesus.
Yeah, I think it's good.
I think it's the right thing to do.
Just don't check.
Honestly, how much longer are we even going to check for weed?
Just let them fucking smoke weed.
That's what I'm saying.
Is it that big a deal?
So they haven't been officially folded, but they're looking to potentially do it in MT Stadium.
WrestleMania and an MP Stadium actually could work.
You think?
Because if you're at a home, it's not going to be the same.
But do you give a fuck if you're quarantined?
I will pay for whatever.
Just give me the fucking thing.
Yeah.
We were saying that on the quarantine podium, Netflix got to drop that Jordan doc sign.
Oh, ESPN.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it ESPN?
ESPN.
But I think it's through Netflix, no?
I'd be surprised if ESPN didn't go through because ESPN is a Disney company.
That's what we were saying.
So they would either go Disney Plus or just ESPN.
Pay For Whatever00:02:13
Yeah, I don't know where you got this Netflix shit.
It's not.
Can you Google that?
Thank you.
Yeah, man.
It's yeah, it's a tough situation.
I think that I think that companies should not just roll shit out.
Give something to the people.
If you got some stuff locked, if you're something like HBO and you have like four, you have some of your shows like already cooked and ready to go two years in advance, give them to the fucking people, man.
This is the time.
This is the time.
Let us binge Westworld.
Let us binge these types of things.
It's not even about letting.
Sure, let us, but also this is the best move for you.
We have nothing to do right now.
Yeah.
We will watch anything you put in front of us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
ESPN Films and Netflix chronicle Michael Jordan.
Exactly.
That's why you fucking Google shit.
You're welcome.
Right for once.
Wow.
This guy said.
10-part.
What was the guy you said who made algebra?
Huh?
The guy who made algebra and calculus wrong.
Newton is calculus, right?
Yes.
He was like, Newton made algebra.
What's the difference between algebra and calculus way harder?
What is calculus?
Son, who the fuck knows?
And it came out.
That's algebra.
Algebra already existed.
Man, what's algebra?
Two times three equals six.
X's.
Algebra's X's and Y's.
So then what's calculus?
That's like you need the formulas and all that shit.
They didn't teach that in Bermuda School of Doctors.
Bermuda School of Doctors.
They just pointed to a dick and they were like, suck that.
I don't want it.
Algebra is used in everyday life while calculus is used by gays.
While calculus is used in more complicated problems in professional fields like business, engineering, and science.
Calculus, algebra is the study of relations, and while calculus is the study of change, I still don't know what that means.
It's math shit.
I think algebra is like trans math.
That's calculus, right?
Study of change.
Yeah, calculus.
Oh, fuck that.
I get it wrong again.
Damn, Isaac Newton be hating, bro.
Fucking Isaac.
What a dork.
Algebra Is Trans Math00:02:21
Yo, did you guys discuss Rudy Gobert on the Corona pod?
No, maybe briefly.
But, yo, Rudy is a fucking do we.
Oh, can we talk about this for a second?
Because I had this theory that Rudy.
No, I had this theory that black people can't get coronavirus.
No, okay.
Go ahead.
And then Rudy Gobert and then Donovan Mitchell got the coronavirus.
People are like, that disproves your theory.
They're black.
And I'm like, no, they're on the Utah Jazz.
They're white.
You can't be full black if you're on the Utah Jazz.
Didn't someone on the Pistons get it, though?
Say again?
Someone on the Pistons got it, I think.
I don't know white or black.
Someone on the Pistons got Corona.
Yes.
Do you know what his name is?
No.
I believe it's Charlie Wood.
That's a pretty white name.
Pretty white name.
Yeah, Christian Wood.
Christian Wood.
White or black?
Dude, if that guy doesn't go into like religious porn, I don't know what to tell you.
That is the perfect name.
Christian Wood.
I was with you until you know the god Idris got it, though.
Yeah, oh, Idris got it, yo.
I don't remember my exact top five dudes, but I think I had Idris in my top five.
That is a handsome guy, bro.
He looked good with Corona, yo.
Yo, would you let him let him give me that virus?
I'll catch that bug.
Would you let him talk mad close to your face?
Hell yeah.
To the point where like your nose is touched?
Yes.
So you guys get real close.
Yeah.
And then he's like, all right, we're going to get to the bottom of this.
I got something you get to the bottom of, Idris.
This colon.
What?
Too far?
That's what Akash said when he got fucked by him.
This is a sad day for black people, for hot dudes everywhere.
Idris Alba got it, yo.
So what happens?
Would you do you really think that you would have any kind of relationship with Idris Elma?
No.
You wouldn't cheat on your girl with Idris Alba.
No, But his girl in the video, maskless.
I saw that.
She don't give a fuck.
She recognizes.
She was Idris, yo.
I mean, that's a real one, right?
Like, let's be on it.
You're lucky to catch whatever Idris gives you.
Yo, I go extreme, motherfucker.
You're not playing games with these hoes.
No, son.
Can we talk what a great friend I am for what I did for your girl?
Oh, we didn't talk about this.
Idris Alba Got It00:03:19
I need, I was gonna, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I need my credit, bro.
So two things, the silence, bro.
That's how bad he felt.
So I pointed out.
I felt bad.
I pointed out what a bad friend Andrew had been.
I'm a great friend.
Actually, I felt bad because you felt bad.
I was just fucking with you.
I know.
But I had asked Andrew to connect me with this guy named Humble the Poet.
You've never happened.
I'm going to find the text message.
You've never happened.
I'm finding the text message.
Please find it.
Point is this girl.
I found out about it.
I found out about it.
You just said your girl likes him.
That's it.
No, no, no.
I asked.
You never asked.
Point is, I'll find the text.
I'll find the text.
Point is, you will find it.
I found out about this guy because from my girl, this was like, let me get to how good of a friend you are.
Humble was like the first cool sick dude she saw out there.
All right, let's take a break for a second.
And we got to give a huge shout out to, I think, a genius company, a genius idea.
It's Mac Weldon.
Now, Mac Weldon has recognized that as the industry is shifting, as clothing is shifting, as purchasing habits are shifting, people want brand loyalty.
Okay.
Right here, we got the asshole army.
We got the gang chucking it up.
Massive contingency of people.
We understand what that is.
We understand what it is.
Build a brand, build a team, build an army, right?
Mac Weldon understood that people want to purchase different things from different companies that they know fit.
For example, I like Subi jeans.
Okay.
I know my size in Subi jeans, so I just go get Subi jeans now.
It used to be that way with Levi's, then they switched to sizing, fucked everything up.
We have that kind of brand loyalty, but not with everything.
There are certain things we just need to buy and not be inconvenienced by.
And those are essentials: underwear, socks, t-shirts, hoodies, okay?
Maybe even like a spring jacket.
There's certain things we just want to trust.
They're good, and we're going to put other things over them.
They'll just be part of the outfit, but not the mainstays.
They'll basically be the essentials, the basics.
And Mac Weldon decided to build a business around those basics.
It's genius.
If you just knew that your socks and underwear would be made with premium fabrics, be comfortable as fuck, cradle those balls, cradle those toes, make sure that you were secure and you could count it every single time sizing was perfect, you would just do it, right?
That's what they did.
They solved it for you.
Don't even ever go out of the house to get your underwear, socks, t-shirts, hoodies ever again.
The essentials are solved for you.
Macweldon.com.
You go to macweldon.com, M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com.
Use our promo code flagrant.
Make sure you get that discount.
Okay.
You know, you're going to get the discount when you do with us.
Get your underwear.
Get everything that you need.
You get 20% off with that discount.
That promo code is flagrant, by the way.
Macweldon.com.
It's as simple as that.
You have all the most premium fabrics.
I can't stress this enough.
All the time you see certain companies, or even when you go to the store, you get like, you know, some of their shitty competitors and you wear it.
They're stretched out after three wears.
Not going to happen.
Premium fabric delivered right to your door.
Treat yourself right.
Treat yourself with respect.
You're going to be quarantined in your house for the next couple months.
Make sure you're walking around comfy because you need to be comfy.
Macweldon.com, promo code flagrant.
Now, let's get back to the show.
Get Your Underwear Discount00:13:03
We got a father who got a turf bug and like people always call him a terrorist and shit.
Indian Flintstones, bro.
Yabble, dabble, dabble.
In the car, instead of bare feet, he got on flip-flops.
That was good.
Oh, God.
Fuck.
So, anyway, Andrew had Humble send a video, Just Lean.
Huh?
They actually still have the same cars.
Little Rick Shaws, y'all be running around.
It sucks.
Flintstones, huh?
It's true, dog.
Anyway, go on.
So, Andrew had Humble.
My girl's a big fan of Humble.
Big fan of Humble.
This is like the first guy she saw represent her religion and culture in a cool way.
So Andrew had Humble send her a video.
I asked Humble.
Humbly, I asked Humble.
You humbly asked Humble.
Humble's not easy for you to be.
It's not easy for me to be.
And he Humble sent a video.
He did that for Humble.
And then Humble sent a video to my girl saying, Basically, Andrew's funny video.
Don't invite Andrew to the wedding.
He's a bad influence, whatever.
It was cool.
I shit on my girl loved him.
I shit on myself in the video.
Yeah.
He had a funny ass line.
Shout out to Humble.
He goes, She goes, I understand that you got to invite Andrew to your wedding because your parents don't know that Akash is a comedian and they think that he has a real job.
So if you invite a white guy, that's like his work friend.
Funny video.
He's a funny dude.
Yeah.
That was a funny dude.
And that was so cool of him to do it.
Yeah.
And he actually sent me two, man.
I just want to shout out him for how nice a guy is.
He sent me one that was like funny.
He had the punchlines and shit.
That was what I sent you.
And then he sent me another one.
He's like, hey, Justine.
Oh, sorry.
That's all right.
Yeah.
Hey, Justine, I just want to let you know you shouldn't invite Andrew to your wedding.
Have a good one.
Yeah.
She loved it, though.
She was just like, this is so dope.
That's right.
You're in great.
You're in good with us.
Hey, hey, I know.
Hey.
Hey, I know.
All right.
That's my wedding, yo.
Betch your life.
If it happens.
If.
Hey, you don't know what the Corona could do.
Corona might stick around until October.
Yo, yo, that's too real.
What?
It might be around till October.
It might be.
Yeah, I know.
That's too real of a joke, yo.
No, I'm just saying.
And keep in mind, if you get it, if you get me some Corona, I'm going to hold on to it.
I'm going to hold on to it.
Yeah, like a sourdough yeast.
I'm going to have that sourdough mash ready to bake.
Yeah.
I'm going to have that shit.
Come back and get it.
Listen.
Yeah.
I'm a religious guy.
Pray to God to protect the people I love.
I'm going to say, if I get it, please let me get it from Andrew.
To God.
Pray to God.
Man, that's foul, babe.
If I get it, let me get it from Andrew.
That means I got it first.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm praying happens.
But I don't think there's any way where I get it before you.
It's slim to none, Chancellor.
I think it's slim to none.
Slim to none.
I don't think I did because I'm tall.
I'm 6'2 ⁇ .
I'm above it.
Corona be lower, dawg.
Yeah, them Chinese just be sneezing into your belly buttons.
Think about it.
Chinese people are mad small.
Obviously, how are they going to give it to me?
That's a good point.
It's a good point.
Have you had any Asian like weight staff?
Have you?
My girl ordered Chinese food yesterday.
What is wrong with her?
She's white.
Yo, that's what they do.
They're like, I told him to go.
I didn't accept it.
They be feeling bad, though.
Nobody's white people.
I don't know what that is.
Nobody's soliciting Chinese businesses right now.
We didn't feel nothing about that.
She did.
I didn't feel nothing about that.
That delivery man came.
I said, keep it.
Keep the food.
Did you pay him?
Say what?
Did you pay him?
Hell yeah, I paid him.
Tipped him well, too, out here in the coronavirus trying to deliver the food to people.
Man, come on.
Arkash, I'm not a savage out here, but I just can't be eating a full bowl of, you know.
All right.
I'm just corona and broccoli or something.
I was looking for some.
Why can't Chinese people have their go, dog?
Like, everybody got their go.
Did we talk about this on the pod yet?
No.
Like, everybody's going to have their thing when your people do some fucked up shit, right?
Like, when brown people were blowing things up, you got some shit from it.
Of course.
Naturally.
Naturally, that's the natural course of things.
Okay.
You know, when black people, you guys are robbing everybody.
Stop at Frisk.
Right?
Stop at Frisk.
You know?
When the Charlottesville shit popped off, right?
Yeah.
I couldn't buy a Tiki torch.
I wanted to buy my.
I like my little Hawaiian-themed uh gatherings.
Yo, my man had to shave his whole head.
You remember that?
Yeah, what'd I do?
Remember, you got that low-ass bus cut right out of Charlottesville?
So you usually have a nice swoop, and then all of a sudden you showed up one day, just ha!
All the motherfuckers know which side I was on.
Yo, so you shaved your head.
Hey, when it goes down in the race war, just remember, I got a Caesar.
All right, I said, keep it light on the sides.
White people, a Caesar is a haircut that is derived from Julius Caesar and has somehow become a thing exclusive to black people.
Is that true?
I don't think so.
You heard of a Caesar?
I believe it's supposed to mimic Julius Caesar, right?
Didn't Caesar have that type?
Yeah, but you know, black people getting a Caesar?
Yeah, the Caesar, bro.
That's what we call it, but I didn't know it was called that because of him.
I ain't nobody.
What's it called?
That from Lil Caesars?
I mean, that would make more sense.
Give me that pizza pizza.
We'd be loving that pizza pizza.
Give me that hot and ready.
Let me get that hot and ready, yo.
We say everything twice.
He's like, that's funny, funny.
Yo, you stupid, stupid.
That's it.
Do that pizza pizza, dog.
What else we got, man?
What else we got in that agenda?
Let me see.
Oh, it's good to be back in this Rona.
I mean, Rona.
It's good to be back in this.
I got to get used to y'all switching spots.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Why?
Because when I talk, you start jumping to me.
Yeah.
No, no, it just feels different.
We didn't talk Tom Hanks and his wife.
They got released from the hospital.
Damn, they never had that shit.
Fuck Tom Hanks.
They never had that shit.
Fuck Tom Hanks, yo.
He just got it, son.
He just got it.
Now he's the more.
Like, we care about him more now.
Before Idris, we cared about Tom.
Now, Idris.
You don't care about Tom?
I mean, if he goes, as long as Idris is still alive.
Tom got a hood pass.
As long as Idris is still alive.
Yeah.
That's it.
Tom Good in quarantine, son.
He did the terminal.
He's comfy in the quarantine.
Son.
Terminal's fire.
Wait, what's terminal?
That movie where he was producing the illness he finna have.
Falkey and shit.
What was he doing?
Yeah.
We just wouldn't let him in.
Why wouldn't we let him in?
Son, that was the whole movie.
He just didn't have a passport.
He became countryless in that movie.
Why?
Because his country went away?
No, like went to Civil War or something like that.
And then oh, he was from Yugoslavia or something like that?
Yeah.
Some made up the country, I'm pretty sure.
So he just started working at some news.
I fuck with that.
So what happens?
What happened today?
But what happens to the wilderness?
You didn't even see it.
That's why it's trash.
But at the end of the movie, he gets to go home.
But he gets to go to America for like an hour and then he goes home.
So he experiences America.
He got exactly what he wanted and then he goes home.
And then he goes back.
And to what country?
He just goes back to the country.
I think we should have just made him work at Chibo Express.
That would have been kind of lit if he just started working at that Chibo.
Yo.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You know what Chibo Express is?
No.
Chibo Express gourmet, little shitty ass sandwiches they got and stuff like that.
Yeah, at the airport.
That little bodega that they got at the airport.
For one Indian bitch always open, but she don't do nothing.
Cordoba?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
C-I-B-O.
I never seen that one.
Yeah, that's the real thing.
Let me ask you.
I need to ask a question of Indians, Indians listening.
Yes.
Ask your auntie why she don't never do shit.
Whoa.
The girl at the Chibo Express or the Hudson News.
It's always some Indian lady.
You ask her for help, and she like, that's what's there.
And she don't ever ring nothing up.
Yeah, what does she do?
She wishes she could go back to India, probably.
There's planes there.
You're damn close, lady.
Yo, yo, that's a good question.
Do you get different service when you go into that shit?
No, Do you hit her with an auntie?
I'm no auntie makes him feel old.
It's this weird thing that started happening recently.
Don't call me ma'am.
It makes you sound.
Oh my god, that's even in your culture?
Bro, it's infiltrated everywhere.
Everywhere.
It's terrible.
So, what do you call them?
I don't know.
I try to sneak it in there that I'm Indian somewhere.
Why don't you call that bitch?
Come on, tabel dabel, banana, granola bar, or whatever you order.
Oh, fuck.
They just announced something.
Hey, hey, hey, Ed.
Did they announce to tell you to shut the fuck up?
Did they do that perhaps?
Did they make an announcement?
Just WrestleMania will not be held in Tampa Bay.
WrestleMania not to be held in Tampa Bay.
So, will it be held at all?
It's just to its profile.
I don't know.
That's it.
That's all I get.
Whoa.
They'll probably just hold it in a smaller place so they don't have to rent out that big ass place and then do it.
Somebody was saying they watched it, and the wrestlers would still come out and like pretend the fans were there.
It was just like a really weird thing.
This is going to expose how obviously wrestling's fake, but it's going to expose how fake it is.
I think it's actually bad for the brand.
Yeah.
Super bad for the brand.
Because you're like, oh, wait a minute.
All this is choreographed.
Like, we want to believe that you're down for the count, and then our cheering for you is.
Remember when we would go, oh, call it whatever?
Yeah.
And then he would start to get energy.
Yeah.
What they do?
What did they do that?
Nobody's there.
I'm coming back, brother.
Yeah, you look like a how you coming back.
I don't think they're smart enough to adjust the performance.
They're not smart enough to adjust the performance.
This is going to be bad.
It's a bad look.
Do you know how stupid you look when you do your hair and no one's around?
Son.
They got all that fucking Vaseline in their hair for what?
Long-ass walk, nobody cheering.
You know how long you ever do a show with nobody in it and they start clapping when they hear your name and then stop clapping before you even get to the stage?
Bro, oh, yeah, that's the longest walk.
Imagine how long that shit is going to be from the top.
Yo, come on, bro.
You think they have like a laugh track or what, like a cheer track?
Yeah, I think it would sound too fake.
That'd be even worse because no one's there.
They're going to know it.
And you know no one's there.
Yeah.
Everybody knows no one's there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro.
Yeah.
That's not good.
Why don't they put like cancer kids that are about to go?
Oh my god.
No, think about it.
You got like the energy to cheer.
Say what?
Yeah, that's enough.
Mike them up.
Mike them up.
And don't put like, you know, that can't lung cancer, something like that that affects their like cheering.
The energetic cancer kids.
Yeah, like foot or knee.
ADHD kids.
Yeah.
So you pump them up with Adderall and then just sit them all around.
They're out anyway.
They're in the hospice.
You take all hospice people, give them one last exciting thing.
Undertaker comes back to life.
Something they'll never do.
You know, I think that's a great idea.
Take terminally ill people, make them be in the stands for all the days.
If your make a wish is to go to like a sporting event, well, they're all postponed.
You want to go to the Super Bowl?
How about WrestleMania?
How fucked up is that?
All these kids with the make-a-wish, bro.
Disney World make a wish.
All I want to do is see Mickey Mouse.
Duh.
Yo, can you ask for a pussy for your last wish?
Say what?
Can you ask for a pussy?
Chris Rock used to have that joke.
What did he say?
They used to talk about the Jerry Lewis telethon, and he was like, why can't we get these kids some titties?
And then he said, I've been watching the.
He said something like, What do you want, Timmy?
You want to go to Disney World?
Nah, I want some big titties in my face.
I wonder, Timmy.
Damn, Chris, you fell off, bro.
You wonder if what?
If they could, if they can ask for that, because I think you can ask for anything, right?
Yeah, but I don't know if you can get pussy.
I mean, I don't think you can ask for anything.
You can't be like, yo, let me get heroin.
And they'll be like, hey, let's do it.
Yo, morphine?
Ask For Anything00:09:20
Morphine?
Yeah, but that's probably on that shit already.
But if they're like, let down heroin, let me get crack.
Then I gotta let you crack.
Why not?
You need to hit an AR-15.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's got to be legal.
Hey, you're right about that.
You're right.
You're right.
Don't tell everyone from our guns.
Hey, hey, no, there's a murder murder out here from Texas.
You're Tex Boy.
You're right about it.
Hey, you're Tex Boy.
You read about it.
Now, do you think Texas is going to quarantine and say that people won't go to restaurants?
You think they're going to be free about that shit?
I think they're going to be the last ones to quarantine.
Okay, guys, any other things that we need to touch on?
Do we want to touch on the microphone shit?
What the Rudy Gobert with the microphone?
Oh, that's right.
That's what we were talking about.
I mean, it's just fucking, I don't know.
Listen, as a comic, I get that sometimes a joke you think is funny ends up not being funny.
Yeah.
I also don't think it mattered.
Like, if you're playing basketball, you're going to be within six feet of everyone at some point.
Yeah, Donovan Mitchell didn't get it because he was sharing a microphone.
No chance.
Yeah.
The guy from the Pistons didn't get it because of a microphone.
Right.
And Christian Wood didn't get it from the microphone.
Yeah.
100%.
Yeah, I agree.
I think that right now, there's no enemy when you have a disease.
Yeah.
Like a disease is actually very similar to the Kobe thing and the crash, where there was no enemy.
Nobody was responsible.
No one did it.
So we're like reaching out for anybody who could have been responsible.
Yeah.
There has to be some explanations.
Yes.
Oh, he's touching the microphone.
Look how careless he was.
Let's take all this anger that we have because the season is, you know, chopped.
Apparently, there's like a riff in the locker room now.
Like, are you fucking kidding me?
Like, he wanted to get the coronavirus.
Like, yeah, he was goofing around like we all goof around.
Yeah.
Like, remember, you coughed in the beginning, and then I'm saying you got the fucking virus.
We're just busting balls.
It's an unfortunate thing, and it just sucks.
But again, lay off Rudy Gobert.
I mean, there's way more reasons why you should hate Rudy Gobert besides this whole coronavirus.
100%.
I mean, his game is awful.
He looks stupid.
He walks like one of those Star Wars camels that are robots.
Why do they do all those things?
I don't know what they're saying, but they're like slow button.
Can you imagine if he got it like two weeks earlier during All-Star Weekend?
Then it would have been a fucking problem.
Yeah.
He infected one All-Star.
Big deal.
Yeah.
Fringe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Donovan Mitchell.
That was like a generous all-star.
Yeah.
He didn't even need to play in that game.
Yeah.
If he got LeBron, now it's a problem.
If LeBron gets it, now it's a problem.
Yeah.
Also, last thing.
Do they cancel the NBA season?
You think?
Because the most recent report is mid-June.
So how do you do that?
If you cancel a season, if I'm LeBron, I'm not into that because this is, I don't have a lot of years left.
I'm playing at a high level.
You're not just canceling the season and making me play a whole nother season to get a ring.
It is interesting.
I think they'll do everything they can to actually play it.
I think you play five to ten games to end the regular season just to get them back and then go whatever the seeds are, the seeds are.
I think that's a good idea.
Yeah, just have it.
There's just so much money to be made, and people are going to be starved for competition.
It's not just, here's the thing.
It's not just basketball.
It's competition.
We love competition.
It's primal.
We love it on a primal level.
I love it.
You know, it's interesting.
I was watching the UFC fight without fans.
I enjoyed it.
I thought that it would be like weird to watch without fans.
I don't know if the athletes themselves are as excited by it and maybe they won't take it as serious and maybe they won't give the same effort because they're not the same stakes at hand.
But I didn't enjoy it less.
I actually.
Did you watch it?
No, but I was going to say, watching the.
I'll tell you how I feel, even though I didn't see it at all.
Yeah, no, I didn't see that at all.
My point was that can be a sport that actually thrives during quarantine because it's literally two guys and they're coaches.
I think basketball would have been fun to see in front of it.
It'd been like watching a pickup game at the highest level.
Yeah, I just think the guys wouldn't compete as hard.
That's possible.
I think that these guys on some level, and listen, we're stand-up comics, so we know exactly what it is.
I'm not going to do the same set in front of no people.
It's just, I'm not going to have the same energy.
Granted, there's not a reaction that's necessary when you're a basketball player, but if you have an audience, you're going to operate differently.
If you had the playoffs with no fans, that'd be one thing.
Here's the problem: a basketball team is 30 fucking people.
One of them gets it.
That's the problem.
A UFC team of trainers, five people tops.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
What are they saying right now?
Make sure you're in groups less than 10.
Yeah.
UFC fits in that.
Dude, you know what else fits in that?
Tennis.
Tennis.
You could actually play a couple sports.
Yeah.
Bro, you know what?
You could easily play golf.
Yeah.
So the reason they canceled the Masters, postponed it, is a bunch of European players were calling, like, how do I get to the tournament?
You don't get there.
And you fucking deal with it.
Yeah, but then I'm just saying you lose a lot of good golfers.
You're the reason why we have fucking Corona.
We'll be totally fine.
Nobody was ever watching for Joaquin, you know, Perez or whatever the fuck these guys are, right?
We want Tiger.
We want Mickelson.
I think some of them are whatever.
Who cares?
It's golf.
Who gives a fuck?
There's, what's the name?
Roy McElroy is really good.
Nobody cares about him.
I think he's good, though.
Nobody cares.
Okay.
Sergio, whatever the fuck.
We don't care.
Yeah, Sergio Garcia.
Doesn't matter.
Yeah.
This is the Masters.
Okay.
Should be whites only.
And Tiger.
And Tiger.
Yeah.
No, in all seriousness.
I think that you could play golf.
And if you have to not make it this type of tournament, just do it.
We want to see some competition.
And let's be honest, you want to compete.
You don't want to sit in the fucking house all day.
Oh, yeah.
They're going to love it.
UFC, what I was going to say, watching the Izzy fight.
Yeah.
And I've seen this with a few of the fights I've watched.
If there's not like a ton of action and the fans start booing, it almost like for me, it's like, ah, let them fight.
Yeah, let it.
I don't want them to get in their head.
And that's what I was going to say with no audience.
If it's a high, if it was a high stakes fight and you didn't have that, I might enjoy it more.
I don't know.
But like, the booing to me, I'm always like, that becomes as much of a show almost as the fight itself.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
And UFC in general is the closest thing to a street fight.
And I've never been watching a street fight.
Like, what does the audience think?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
So go for it.
This World Star fight would be so much better if there were more people screaming World Star.
We're the Irish fans and their and their flags.
That's what I really watched the fight for.
Yeah.
No, I think you get, I think we can lean on certain sports.
Yeah.
Golf, tennis, UFC boxing.
Take away the fans.
I understand you're going to make less money, but you will gain so much viewership.
I think you were kind of saying that earlier because people are going to be drawn to some sort of elite entertainment.
Anything to distract us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If it's if it's higher quality, for sure, we're watching that.
But like, do you remember what it was like when you were a kid and you're trapped at home and you just watch TV?
Well, you're in New York, so you might not have done it this much.
Yeah.
Because you could walk around and just go do shit.
If you're a suburb kid who grew up in the 90s, you need TV.
Yeah.
Because there's nothing else to do.
Honestly, if I'm one of these like AMC movie theaters, what I do is set up a website where people could opt in, purchase.
And I understand people are going to steal it and stream it.
So what?
You got to eat that.
Eat that.
It is what it is.
It's the only way you make money.
You're not going to make money for two months.
You're just going to wait.
Matter of fact, you're capturing people.
You're going to get way better reviews for your movie.
You're capturing people when they're at their most bored.
Yes.
What I always said about podcasts is why they're so effective is because we're here for you when you're at your most bored, right?
You're in traffic right now.
You're in traffic.
I'd literally rather be doing anything else.
Boom.
I think you go out there.
I think if you're AMC, you start releasing movies at the exact same schedule time.
Just have us watch it online.
Everybody has a smart TV.
Just go for it.
You can actually re-release in the movie theaters when shit is better if you want, but people aren't going to go.
And I think you do the same thing with sports.
You just have no fans, at least in the sports where we're able to do it.
Yeah.
Can't do it in football.
Can't do it in any massive team sport.
No, but you can do it.
UFC in particular.
Yeah.
UFC in particular.
Golf, at least like all the golfers come for one tournament.
That could be dangerous.
Keep them separate.
Yeah.
I think you could do that.
You can keep them separate.
You don't even have to have them golfing together.
You could literally stagger the whole thing one per course.
You don't have to have two.
And since so many won't be able to come because they're from other parts of the world, they don't want to travel.
Yeah.
Not course.
Sorry.
One per hole.
Yeah.
Instead of doing two per hole, one per hole.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Done.
Wearing a mask.
I love it.
We just solved sports.
Guys, we brought sports back.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
We'll be back, of course.
We got the Corona Chronicles daily drop every single day.
We also have Patreon coming Friday.
So we'll be back to deliver some hot stuff for you.
And yeah, just keep it tight like you always do.
I promise we'll make sure that you can endure this quarantine in the most productive and amazing way possible.
Thank you all for fucking with us.
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You know, we're going to come with another episode every single week.