Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh explore why whites struggle to dance due to cultural differences in teasing versus shielding, contrasting this with Latin American resilience. They analyze Trump's superior insult-comedy skills born from decades of mockery compared to wealthy Democrats, while debating NFL analytics involving Bill Belichick's data strategies and Tony Romo's controversial CBS contract. The hosts also dissect Zion Williamson's physicality against LeBron James and Kyrie Irving's potential impact on Kevin Durant's chemistry, ultimately questioning the value of viral sports narratives over actual playoff success. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Twenty Failed Episode Starts00:13:08
Guys, we've tried to start this episode at least 20 different times.
Okay.
I'm actually recording this intro after we recorded the entire episode, which includes at least 19 other times that we've tried to start this episode.
Maybe Eden de Turkey is going to include it.
I think he is.
Maybe little snippets.
Okay.
He's been breathing out a lot, and it's been really interesting to hear him breathe out without hearing the sound.
But it's possible.
Now we know Turkey's just fucking with us.
Anyway, we'll say this.
We got some dates coming up.
Mandy Andrew Schultz, go get them tickets.
Miami, thank you so much for selling out the shows.
Portland, we're going to be there this weekend.
We added a show Thursday.
Friday, Saturday shows are all sold out.
We added a show Thursday.
Might be some tickets left for that.
Bunch of other cities.
We're coming.
Make sure you check it out.
You know, Charlotte, I think Virginia Beach and Richmond, one of those cities sold out.
We have Reading PA come to Reading PA, formerly the poorest city in all of America.
So we are coming there.
Great thing to be known for.
And if you're surrounding Reading PA, come out to those shows.
It'd be great.
Minneapolis.
Yes.
Minneapolis, Minnesota.
We added another show there as well.
And then Tucson, come on out to Tucson.
That is the last time I'm going to be running this hour before I film the special, which is going to be in LA that next week or later that week, rather.
TheandrewSchultz.com for tickets.
We got plenty more cities.
You go there, you get the full list.
Always adding new ones.
Akash, tell them where you're going to be.
Yo, March 12th through 14th, I am coming to Montreal.
I'm going to be at the Comedy Nest.
Y'all better bring that ass through.
March 27th, I am in the den in Chicago.
Come through, Chicago.
Y'all been asking me to come out for so long.
I'm there.
Buy the fucking tickets.
Let's sell this out.
March 7th, I got my first theater gig.
Vancouver Playhouse.
Some of y'all are messaging me.
You already bought tickets.
It's so fucking dope.
Let's sell out this theater, guys.
And then we get more theaters to come.
And then we build this fucking thing out, Andrew Schultz style.
And June 12th through 14th, I am at the Comedy Loft in DC.
Also, YouTube plug.
I don't often do this, but it's so dope.
I just crossed 50,000 subs.
Started at 500 six months ago.
So that's 100x growth.
To put it in business terms, let's keep fucking going.
Yo, every Thursday, I drop a clip.
Akash Sing Comedy.
Check it out.
Yo, make sure you go check out.
We got a dope dropping in coming in from Miami.
This one was dope.
Every Thursday, we're dropping in episodes in a new city around the country.
You know the show.
If you don't know the show, go check it out.
Always starts with stand-up, and then we're out in the city traveling, eating, doing the wildest thing the city has got to do.
Mark's probably throwing up or we're torturing him.
And then we usually close it out with some stand-up as well.
And of course, unsafe sets every Monday.
We're a little late this week, but it's coming Mondays.
YouTube.com slash TheAndrew Schultz.
Now that we got our little church announcements out of the way, let's start the show.
Eden, I trust that you're going to start in a good place.
Are we recording right now?
We're recording.
Okay, because Akash goes at the beginning of this.
We're about to record the episode.
He goes, hey, can I just tell you a story, right?
And I'm thinking it's something with your mother.
Related to what we were just talking about.
We were just making horrendous jokes.
Oh, and we start now.
If you only knew what we were talking about before.
What's up?
Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Flagrant 2.
It's your boy Schultz here.
We got Akash saying Alex Media, Eden in the fucking background.
Eden De Turkey in the background.
You know what I'm saying?
Boats a little lighter.
What up, everybody?
New Flagrant 2.
It's your boy Schultz.
I'm here with Akash.
We got Alex Media, Eden De Turkey.
You know what I mean?
Let's get right into it.
Flagrant Thought of the Week.
This is our sixth time recording the intro, okay?
For reasons that we cannot share.
Private reasons.
Right?
Akash?
Well, Me Tooie reasons.
No, bro.
What's up, everybody?
Nah, we're going to do it.
What's up, everybody?
I want to leave here at 11.
For the fourth time.
For the fourth time.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
It's your boy Schultz, okay?
Akash, Alex Media, Edin De Turkey.
And that's it.
Start an episode for the fifth time, okay?
It's your boy Schultz.
Let me do that for the sixth time.
Flagrant thought of the week.
Yo, this is not really a flagrant thought in terms of funny, but I think there is something funny to it.
What's up?
So, apparently, Israel is not out of Sanya, the country.
Israel is, that being said, I think Israel is about to put an Israeli level beating on Yoel Romero.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we're going to call Yoel Palestine after Saturday.
So apparently, Israel is coming up with the vaccine for the coronavirus.
Right?
And it's interesting because there are a lot of countries, because of the way they feel about Israel and Palestine relations, they boycott any exports from Israel.
And if I'm Israel, I'm like, yo, I'm going to need y'all to keep this same energy.
Oh, 100%.
You know what I mean?
Because we got the cure.
100%.
Right?
But do they have the cure or are they just going to be a cure?
So they're going to bring the vaccine.
Give that away?
They're Jews.
Jesus.
Akash.
Jesus.
Are we flagrant one?
Jesus.
What did I miss?
Jesus.
Jesus.
Are we flagrant one?
That was just pretty accurate.
Yes.
Yes.
No, Jesus is the guy they killed.
Jesus is the guy they killed.
Jesus.
I got you.
I got you.
I had to hit you with a G, you know what I mean?
Jesus.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
I got you.
Why did they kill Jesus?
I don't know, yo.
Do you think it's because he had holes in his hands and his coins were falling through him?
And they were like, we can't have you.
I bet there's money.
We're going to save money like that.
All right, let's start over for the 15th time today.
We're starting over.
Okay, no.
But real talk.
If I'm Israel, I'm going, hold on.
So you're not going to accept our fucking olive oil?
You're not going to accept our wine, right?
And you're going to act all righteous.
Like, that's the thing about these European countries.
And shout out to FA for this shit.
Like, FA called out all these, all these European countries.
Like, oh, how dare you treat Palestine like that?
And then a boat full of refugees shows up on their shores.
And these European countries kick those fucking refugees right into the water.
Israel, how could you treat someone like that?
I'm sorry.
They coming from the Sudan?
Buy with their foot, 300-style, right into the ocean.
Point is, is like, everybody's a hypocrite, right?
Especially when you need something.
When you need some shit, we're going to see how tight your morality is.
Oh, yeah.
And if I was Israel, I'd call them on it.
I'd be like, if you accept this, you got to lift the boycott.
Lift the boycott of all of our shit.
You're going to face pressure from the world, though.
You're going to be able to stand in the face of that pressure?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
I forgot who I was talking about.
Yeah.
I mean, they don't give a fuck, but if I'm there, I'm like, yeah, we're going to cure the world and we're going to hook up everybody that got our back.
You know what I mean?
Send that shit over here first.
Real talk.
But I still want to know.
Now Akash is shell-shocked.
He can't say nothing.
What the fuck's going on?
That's why Trump is so confident.
We got to figure it out.
He's like, oh, we got the Jews.
They got it done.
I'm just saying, don't you think that, wouldn't you feel that same way?
Nobody's fucking with your shit.
They're doing boycotts and shit.
They're judging you.
Meanwhile, they're just kicking refugees right back into the fucking water.
I would just tax them.
Tax them.
Yeah.
All the motherfuckers who didn't trade with them before.
Oh, you pay him four times what everybody else pay.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I mean, if they were really smart, they'd give it away and make a point of it.
They'd go, hey, when you needed something, we got you.
We just want to run.
Like a loan, y'all.
Say what?
Like a loan.
Jesus Christ, this guy, man.
All right.
So, Corona needs to stay.
I'm not done.
Corona needs to stay.
I'm not done.
I'm not done with the intro.
I'm not done with the intro.
What's up?
It's your boy Andrew Schultz.
Okay.
I'm out here.
You know what I mean?
We got Akash Singh.
Yeah.
Okay.
We got Alex Media.
We got Edin De Turki.
All right.
We're starting the episode officially right now.
This is maybe our 20th time starting the episode.
Mark the time, Eden.
All right.
Al, you had a hot, hot, spicy take before we started the 15th version of the episode.
You know what I want to do, actually?
This is what I want to do.
Since we're officially starting now, Ed, I want you to just grab random conversations that happened until now.
It's going to be a little extra editing work, but you're Mexican.
That's true.
That's true.
No, you're not.
You're Nicaraguence.
There you go.
Yeah.
Okay.
I forgot.
I didn't.
I remembered.
I had an interesting situation today.
I was at my local diner and I was going over my Mexico City trip with some of the Mexican guys.
And one of the Mexican guys was like, oh, I'm actually not from Mexico.
I was like, really?
Where are you from?
He's like, Columbia.
And I was like, really?
And I didn't realize how racist that was that he was telling me where he was from.
And I was like, bro, are you sure, bro?
Are you sure you're not Mexican?
Do you know what you do?
You might not be from Mexico, but here you are a professional Mexican, bro.
You are working in this place filling my water.
And then he literally goes, no, no, Colombian.
He goes, Shakira, Shaquita.
And I go, bro, if I was a Mexican pretending to be Colombian, that's exactly what I was saying.
Hold on, wait a minute.
Shakira ain't Mexican.
No, fuck you.
You didn't know?
What a day.
Dude, there's a lot of shit that is being let down today, huh?
You guys will understand that when Ed and Ed's in the Ed's, we're having to be not living libo.
See?
Pull that shit out like my dick.
All right.
Now, Corona gotta stay.
That's your take, Al?
Corona gotta stay, bro.
That deep exhale was Eden realizing how much editing he's gonna have to do, bro.
You realize maybe that's what your fucking parents named you Eden for.
Editing.
Eden.
But that's Spanish.
You know how Spanish be making sure Eden, Eden, you gotta edit the thing.
You know, you gotta edit it.
You gotta edit it, right?
You know what I mean?
And Akash, they should have named you Doctor because then you might have been Doctor instead of Akasha.
I can't believe that hit, bro.
I can't believe that hit, bro.
Y'all might get this if you heard the other fucking intros to the podcast.
This intro 25.
We're not fucking around, okay?
All right, go.
Al, you got a fucking flagrant take.
So, Corona needs to stay for a little bit longer because it's taking the people I don't really care about.
Yeah.
And it just now is starting to hit Florida.
And Florida needs to go.
This is a spicy take.
We just got back from Florida.
I thought you really enjoyed Florida.
I enjoy the climate.
Bro.
You've been texting me three times today, yo.
Corona.
Corona's taking out side chicks.
That's hilarious, bro.
That was my take.
That was hilarious.
Corona, you got to hope Corona's taking out your side shit.
Oh, wow.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Okay.
I hear you.
So Florida got to go for you.
You're not into Florida.
No, I love Florida.
I think you're into Miami, low-key.
I think you like it.
Yeah, Miami's a little different.
But like the rest of the B-City, dope, especially coming from New York, this miserable ass.
We're literally on an island.
I know.
You ain't going to have literally.
You're going to the beach.
You're right.
You're right.
Not that much.
Actually, I grew up at the beach.
What am I talking about?
No, I'm capping.
Fire island.
I was capping like I was poor.
What's that called?
Being white.
What's the opposite of capping?
What?
Like, capping is like you're front, right?
Yeah.
Like, you got more than you do.
Yeah.
But what if you're front, like you got less than you do?
White cap.
That's hipstering.
Yeah.
That's hip.
What would hipsters weigh?
Well, what would hipsters wear?
What type of hat would they wear?
The little beanies.
Beret.
You'd be beanie.
I was bereting.
They don't wear berets?
Yeah, well, what's hipstery?
What's like a beanie?
The beanie hanging off the head, like halfway to toboggan?
Ain't that what it's called with the ears?
And the fucky thing?
Yo, yo, Akash, chill out, son.
Yo, you need to chill out.
Hey, bro.
What?
Hey, bro.
Hey, bro, you need to chill out, bro.
Don't just say toboggan, bro.
He just said one of his cousins' names and expects us to.
CBD Tinctures and Hipster Hats00:04:22
Yo, Al on fire.
Take 28, yo.
He really is, bro.
So are his girls' respiratory systems.
Fucking coronavirus be here, bro.
Damn, Arkash, if you were a doctor, maybe you could help cure that.
Yo, toboggan hat, one of the vast arrays of words used to describe a knit hat.
Nah.
Ain't nobody say grab your toboggan.
It's cold outside.
Bro, they say it down south.
Nah.
Nah, son.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Hey, hey, make sure you grab a pistol and throw on a toboggan just engage.
It's a little chilly out there.
Toboggan, bro.
You want me to believe people in Texas are saying tobogginess?
Most fucking farmers I know have been like, get your toboggan.
And then you're the difference between a toboggan and a beanie.
And I actually don't remember what it was.
They're calling you toboggan, dog.
That's Trinidadian toboggan.
There we go.
Ain't that him?
Hey, he's from one of those.
Yo.
Akash want to be right so bad.
He sent a picture to the group chat.
Toboggan.
All right, guys.
Let's take a break for a second, pay some bills here.
You know, my favorite CBD company, CBD company, the asshole Army Flavor 2.
Raddix Remedies, man.
I love this Raddix Remedies.
Shout out to the dude in Miami show who came through with the pre-rolls.
We appreciated that.
Definitely smoked them up in the green room and a little bit after.
But Raddick's Remedy has this cool thing that I haven't really spoken to you guys about, but it's besides just the flower that they can send you, the pre-roll joints, et cetera.
It looks just like we, when Akash smokes it with us, we all get high for some fucking reason.
But they also have this thing called Neuro Root.
Now, Neuroroot, I'm going to get a little sciencey with you for a second, which I don't really understand, but we're going to get back to the goods in a second.
Basically, what it does is it proves mood, memory, cognitive function.
It has this thing called choline in it.
Choline is the same ingredient that's in Alpha Brain from Onit.
Maybe some of you guys listen to Joe Rogan podcast and you heard of the alpha brain product that Onit provides.
And the reason why this is a little bit different is because the choline is administered with the CBD, right?
So it's kind of piggybacking on the CBD.
So instead of digesting it and eating it and it goes through your stomach, it attaches itself with the CBD to those receptors that are in your brain.
So it works like an hour and 15 minutes quicker than the on it stuff works, right?
Because the on it, you're going to have to digest in your stomach, right?
So, they have some like super scientists in Texas.
I could have been doctor with that.
Say what?
I could have been a doctor.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
You need it.
You were off it.
So, this choline, if it's something that you're interested in, maybe you want higher brain function.
Maybe you want to make your mother proud.
Maybe you want to, you know, do anything.
I don't know.
Not be a comedian.
Maybe you want to leave a family legacy, right?
I could have done it.
It was all right there.
Anyway, so Neuroroot, make sure you go check that along with all the other, you know, CBD products that they have.
Again, I love the pre-rolls.
They're fantastic.
For those of you guys having trouble sleeping, they have some melatonin-based things.
Be careful with that melatonin.
But if you need to just knock out, you get them gummies.
They also got some pills.
They are CBD and melatonin.
If you just want to roll your own shit, man, just get some of that flour.
You know, Raddix Remedy is rocking with us.
They have this thing called tincture, right?
Tincture is just a stupid sciencey name for drops.
Just call it drops.
You just take the drops, put it under your tongue, and then boom, you're done.
You don't have to eat candy.
You don't have to smoke anything.
You get the same effects.
Get that good night of sleep.
Get all those amazing things that can happen from the CBD.
That's raddixremedies.com.
Use our promo code flagrant.
Go to radicsremedies.com/slash flagrant.
Our promo code is flagrant.
You always get that discount.
They got some cool monthly boxes that you could get as well.
They're the only CBD company in the country that's sending you flour every month.
They're not sending you fucking vases or sunglasses or like a mug.
They're sending you the actual weed-looking thing every single month.
So go check that out.
Fuck with our boys over there at the Raddix Remedies.
Catching Chickens and Fish00:07:11
Shout out to y'all.
Now let's get back to the show.
I don't know how much of this episode y'all know, okay?
I don't know how much of this episode because it's up to Eden, right?
How much he's going to include.
But it's up to Eden and Alex.
It's up to Eden and Alex and Akash and Andrew how much he includes.
You overruled that motherfucker within the same sentence, yo.
It's up to Eden.
You gave it all to him and then you heard Alex go, and you were like, Al, I didn't want to override Al.
I felt bad.
I felt bad.
You know what I mean?
So, I did feel bad, bro.
I don't want to take away responsibility.
You know what I mean?
You got it.
Yeah.
Eden is your slave, bro.
You use him as it feel nice.
You did it, man.
Anyway.
Oh, God.
Corona.
So yo, we be traveling a yacht a lot, yo.
That thought has crossed my mind.
All of us be hitting planes every week.
Bruh.
Bruh.
Eden just swam to get here, son.
Fucking river clean.
For real, dog.
Can turkeys even fly?
Or are turkeys kind of like penguins?
I think they fly a little bit, right?
Can turkeys fly?
Son, this motherfucker think he can catch a chicken.
He thinks it's easy to catch a chicken.
Can I clarify where this comes from?
They can fly?
Shit.
They ain't be using that.
I mean, like, let's go.
You know what I mean?
It seems like a lot more walking.
But as far as catching a chicken, 100% I could catch a chicken.
There's no catch a chicken.
Bro, Alex.
Tell us the context because right now I'm without.
The context was, what was the context?
You were hooking up with an ugly girl.
No.
I mean, you were hooking up with an ugly girl, right?
That was it on the road after.
After that, you called her a chicken.
I called her a chicken.
So, why do you think I called her a chicken?
I don't know.
Fuck.
Because she can't fly.
But you said you don't eat.
You don't eat pussy food.
Oh, yeah.
It's a weak animal, bro.
I'm trying to not eat weak animals no more.
Son, this guy, son, son.
You are what you eat.
This guy has one Joe Rogan, and he's like, He's like, Son, let me tell you something, man.
One Joe Rogan's what got in the studio.
So he better.
A lot can change.
So, look, dude, that was it.
Come on, son.
You're not a doctor, son.
You're not a doctor, bro.
You're not a doctor.
Ah, gosh.
Stop it.
Come on, son.
Stop it.
Cause your muscle, yo.
Where's Kaz?
You know, it's getting wild right now.
You know, it's getting wild.
I might start drinking.
Okay.
The thing was this.
I don't want to eat weak shit.
All right.
Joe told me he eats.
What's that shit he always eats?
Deer and felt.
Elk.
Elk.
What's felt?
Felt the shit you touch.
Oh, yeah.
It's like velvet.
Pool table.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, elk.
Man, I thought he was eating felt for the longest, bro.
I'm not going to lie, dude.
I might even have said that publicly.
I'd be like, yeah, he's jalapenos and felt, bro.
That's his diet.
That's how he gets down.
So he eats elk, and I'm like, yeah, why you eat the elk?
And he's like, bro, it's like eating an athlete.
He hunted himself, though.
Yes, he hunted his head.
But he also said that elk, they'll run uphill away from wolves.
Uphill.
They're just straight.
It's like LeBron.
It's like eating LeBron.
Yeah.
Right?
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm saying, if you had to eat a human, right?
You can eat Mama June or you're going to eat LeBron.
I even settled for some LeBron veal.
Get Bronnie out there.
You know what I mean?
Let's go.
It's going to be a lot easier to eat Dwayne Wade's daughter.
I said daughter.
I'm accurate.
I said hateful.
Yo, Mark opened the show in Miami.
He goes, What the fuck did y'all do to Dwayne Wade's kid?
Me and Al backstage, like, whoa.
We literally did a Scooby-Doo.
It was crazy.
That shit was good.
So funny.
All right.
So if you just eat athletic animals, fish, you ever, I'll tell you one thing I can't catch with my hands.
A fish.
A fish.
I don't think you catch a chicken with your hands, G. Straight up.
Bro.
We should get this challenge going.
Can I show you?
Can I show you how?
Catch.
You can say the same thing about an elk.
No.
Catch.
You can't catch an elk.
They run away from wolves.
You're not a wolf.
You're not even a doctor.
Yo.
You can't catch no chicken.
Yo.
You can't catch a chicken, you got no lateral movement.
Can I tell you something?
Can I tell you something?
Sure.
I could catch two chickens at the same time.
That's how much I believe in it.
Also, what you mean I got no lateral movement?
How do you know about my lateral?
You don't got no lateral movement.
Cross you the fuck up.
Get the fuck out of here.
I got cross you the fuck up.
We got a new one-on-one game.
We gotta get going now.
That's what it is.
That's what it's come to.
That's what it's come to.
Son, son.
He could play a little bit.
Did I not cross you up?
You could play a little bully ball.
I crossed you up.
Remember when I crossed you up?
You said the N-word with R at the end?
You remember that?
That's how nice I crossed you.
I crossed you, and then I heard the N-word of the R at the end.
And I looked back because you were way far back.
And I looked back and I was like, I didn't say it.
And you were like, nah, it was on me.
And then, do you remember that?
So who's this nigga with the handles?
For real, bro.
For real.
Nah, that never happened.
Come on, son.
No lie to people.
What happened?
Yo, you got to be able to do it.
You got to have a listener who's got a farm in New York.
We should make this happen.
Yeah.
Anybody, and then they're going to be like, oh, it's not a wild chicken.
Wax, yo.
All right, we're going to go catch some chickens with wax.
That's not even a question.
Second of all, fish, agile as fuck, fast as fuck, sharp.
Okay, it's just a muscle.
That's all fish is, is one muscle.
Okay?
Fish, good.
How they strong.
They just pussy.
They run.
Son, fish are lip.
It's just a tricep.
That's what a fish is a quad that has a mouth and can shit.
That's what a fish is.
Which fish are we talking about?
Cod.
Cod is the gay fish, yo.
Is it?
That's what I thought.
Rainbow trout was.
Nah, nah, rainbow trout.
That shit is, that shit is all right.
Cod is the gay fish.
Nah, Cod's not gay.
God's gay.
Why is Cod?
Why is Cod gay?
I mean, come on, yo.
Cod.
Nah, dude.
Nah, nah, nah.
Rainbow trout, way gayer.
Cod, three letters.
Gay, three letters.
Three letters.
That was a reach, bro.
That was a reach.
Why Cod Is Not Gay00:16:08
Look at the concepts.
Look at COD.
That's a legit fish.
Anyway, point is any of those types of, like a fucking bull got that.
Al brought a cod to the last weekend of the shows.
Wow, Al.
You're going to take that, bro?
I have a lot of nicknames for my laptop that I bring on every weekend.
It's fucking eight.
All right.
Let's get.
There's a lot of shit that I want to get to this episode.
We have a lot of things we want to talk about.
There's one thing I did want to talk about about Miami.
And just something in general about Latin culture.
First of all, thanks to everybody who came out, man.
We had over 2,000 people come out this weekend to the shows in Miami.
It was unbelievable.
And the yo, Latin culture is so fucking dope, man.
There's just so much love in that shit.
And it made me reconsider how we see, how we see, how we judge certain behavior.
Right?
I'm sure some comic has done a joke about this, but regardless, we just talk about it.
But like, there's so much love in Latin culture that you can be like very honest in your teasing with people, but it's okay because it comes from this place of like incredible love, right?
There's so much affection, right?
Like, so your parents, the guy who worked there, Justin, who managed it up, his father does security.
His father calls Justin Gordito, right?
Which means little fat one.
Yeah.
Right?
And Justin is skinnier than me.
Right?
He lost all the weight.
He's about my size.
I would say we're about to say that.
But in no way fat.
Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no way.
No way fat.
He lost all the weight.
Dad still calls him Gordito, right?
Because he was fat at one point in time, right?
There's probably someone else in his remote family, which is Gordo, because they're just a taller version of that fat kid, right?
In like British culture, or like when I say British, I mean like what Americans learned from, you know, like white people culture, white, waspy culture, Anglo-Saxon culture.
You wouldn't just call your friend fat or little fat guy because it's way less affectionate.
The culture.
So if you said that to someone, it'd be like, yo, why are you like a black equivalent, like chubs or some shit like that?
Because I got a cousin named Golu, which is like his nickname, and that just means round because he was just always fat.
Still fat.
I think usually you get your street name if you get like a street name, usually just from your appearance.
So like the darkest guy, he's usually black.
Black Tony.
Yeah.
So it's all right, et cetera.
But there's, I've noticed that this kind of teasing and that kind of stuff permeates Latin culture, but it is completely acceptable.
And I really believe it's because it's encased in this affection.
And cultures that don't have that affection don't have the same type of teasing, right?
And it's way more rude or impolite to refer to someone that way.
And they do it with the girls as well.
And I think what happens is by the time you go to school and people are like, yo, you're fat.
And they're like, yeah, I know.
That's what my dad called, that's what they call me.
I'm Gordo.
And then they're like, oh, okay.
You're prepared for teasing.
That's why there's no Latin school shooters because there is no bullying you experience at school that's the same that you would experience from the people that love you the most.
Whereas white folks, we're out babying our kids and protecting them, telling them they're perfect and beautiful and you're the most beautiful thing in the world and nothing is wrong with you at all.
And then you go to school and someone's like, hey, you're weird looking.
And then you're like, I got to shoot that kid.
I got to fucking murder the whole school.
They can't handle it.
Yeah.
I think there is a correlation.
That and Latin people start fucking at like 12.
So there's no real like angst that's like built up.
But I truly believe that like it's a better preparation for life if you get ripped by the people that love you the most.
Because what is some stranger?
Fuck that stranger.
And like, so I'm half Puerto Rican.
I had that growing up a little bit in my culture.
And that's why when I was like feeling chubby, like I actually went online and told people like, oh, fat shame me until I get skinny.
Because that shit works.
Because you were used to it.
Yeah.
It happened.
Yeah.
That shit works.
That's how I lost weight.
Yeah.
Wow.
My uncle fat shamed all the time.
Really?
Yeah.
My uncle, who's like my father, would just like he'd see me eating food and be like, you're going to eat that?
Yeah.
And then you just make a face and you'd be like, that's too much.
So maybe.
I don't take it to heart.
It's like, it's love.
So maybe shame only works or is only effective.
It is an effective tool, but maybe it's only effective when it comes from family because you can't ignore them.
Like you can ignore people on the internet.
And I think the love has to be clear too.
I think you got to, to use your word from earlier, encase it in like, this is obviously love, but yo, you fat though.
Yeah.
Like you get a huge hug, a kiss from this person who fucking loves you.
They give you a gift.
They haven't seen you.
It's like they're telling stories.
And then they're also saying, look how fat you are.
But it's like, oh, this guy has my best interest at heart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And think about it.
You're closest friends.
Once you're closest friends, you become Latin with them.
No, that's so true.
And now it makes sense because I've had a lot of people reach out.
And Charlamagne's had a lot of people reach out like, yo, you guys fat shame me into losing weight.
But when you develop a relationship with someone on a podcast, they become almost like this friend group.
You're like talking to them essentially for four hours a week.
Interesting.
Now it makes sense.
So not all shame works.
Shame from a stranger, unaffected.
I don't care.
But shame from the closest people to you.
Shame from a stranger hurts because you don't know this dude loves you.
He's just a dude.
Yeah.
Yo, I don't know you.
You don't even know me.
You don't make fun of me?
Fuck you.
Yeah.
And I think it also helps with confidence.
Go on.
I would say the Latin culture, the very confident people.
Like they're peacocking all the time.
And they.
I think it's most confident, most insecure.
Oh, you think that's insecure shit?
It's a double-edged sword.
This is what's tricky about any of this kind of stuff.
There's always a potential downside with it.
And you got to try to figure out how to balance those two.
Yeah.
I agree with that.
I feel if you go up to Dykeman, the confidence of some of these chubby guys to get in these skinny jeans and pointy shoes, man.
Like they, they look like wrapped up sausages, but they strut down that street.
Yeah, no, no.
It is the most confident, but I also think that there is an insecurity thing as well because like there's a level of jealousy that is unbelievable in the Latin culture.
Within male-female relationships?
Male-female relationships.
Yeah.
100%.
So I think it is.
I mean, yeah.
Kids also be cheating all the time.
But yeah, sure.
I get it.
Sure, sure.
But I think that there is like an immense confidence, but they're also like getting their eyebrows done.
And you're not doing that because you're like, oh my God, my eyebrows are, I'm so perfect the way I am.
I don't need nothing.
Like there's no Latin lizzo.
No, but I think it's like somebody in their family be like, yo, your eyebrows is woofing.
So they go get them shits done.
And they don't have any shame to, as a man, they don't have any shame to go get their eyebrows.
Of course not.
Of course not.
But true confidence would be, and I'm not saying I even have this or any of us here have it, but the true confidence would be going about it like, you know, Anthony Davis.
Yeah.
Which is like, I have a unibrow and yeah, I don't give a fuck.
So I see what you're saying, but I think their culture is like confidence is also looking good.
Like if you look at any Nobel, it's like you.
So what I looked at when we were in Miami, I looked at, so America is this country of immigrants, right?
And so we're a country of poor people who just got money, right?
We knew.
We're new money.
And what do people with new money do?
Spend it.
Flex.
Right?
Miami is the America.
Of America.
Right?
So it is the people that had the least.
Not even.
It's like the, because LA, some of these other cities, New York, San Diego, those are actual new money flexes.
But if you can't afford those places, then you go to Miami.
So Miami's mad expensive too.
But not like these other cities.
But fair enough.
But I guess what I'm trying to say about Miami is that like the people coming to Miami, like the people coming to New York, they might be from Europe.
They might be from like these other, whatever, you know what I mean?
Or they might be from other parts of America.
Right?
So you have like New York migration is Maine, Ohio, Texas, right?
Miami migration is Puerto Rico, DR, Venezuela, Colombia, right?
Like, so now you have people coming from really impoverished places and then making money for the first time in their family's history.
And now they're like, oh, I'm a flex on them just like Americans did when we got here.
My mom got a mink.
My mom's Scottish, comes from nothing.
Shit neighborhood.
The second she could get a mink, she got a mink.
There's an interesting thing, and this is actually.
You feel me, though?
Yeah, no, and this got me thinking about, because I've been thinking about finances a lot.
Yeah.
There's an interesting thing that when you first get money and you didn't have it, you almost have to spend it to learn the lesson that this shit was not worth it.
You know what I mean?
Like, no money almost has to spend itself once.
That's the problem is if you're a rookie and you get a huge contract and you're an athlete and then you spend it all and you're fucked.
Yes.
You don't make it after that.
Yes.
But there's a, I'm, 2018.
I said it a thousand times.
I almost went broke.
I had to do that to learn.
Oh, that shit ain't worth it.
You got to save.
You got a plan.
You got to whatever.
And now I'm like trying to figure out how do I get the fans to understand this concept.
But when you first get money, your mom, this blows my mind.
Your mom, Scottish, white lady, nothing about that says this culture flexes.
The culture, from what you've told me, frowns on flexing.
You be anti-flex.
Yeah, yeah.
Like us.
Yeah, yeah.
She came here, got money, said, fuck it, got a mink.
Got a mink.
Everybody gets money and then blows it at first.
And then you got to do that to learn.
This was a fucking waste.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's a great point.
That is a great point.
And I think the reason why you flex initially is because you want to mask your poverty.
Like my mom, I assume, comes from dirt poor.
Like when you say the town my mom's from in Scotland to Scottish people, they go, oh, that's rough.
Really?
That's rough.
I said it to a couple people in the audience.
They're just these Scots.
They were drunk.
I was like, yeah, my mom's from the Milton.
And they sobered up like, oh, like East New York of an already tough city.
Right.
Right.
So it's like, but I think what you're doing is you're trying to cover up the poverty.
For me, I know.
Struggle.
My family went up and down with money, but for me, when I personally didn't have money, for me, it was all I'm thinking about is the shit I'm going to buy when I got money.
Like, when I have money, I'm not going to be living in this shithole apartment with mice everywhere.
Right.
I'm not going to be living on this fucking mattress on the floor.
I'm going to get this and this and this and this.
And you start spending the money before you even get it.
And then when you get it, you already know a thousand things you could buy.
Let's go.
I got the cue or whatever.
What a whores put on there for you.
I got the Amazon wishlist.
The wish list.
Yeah.
So it's like, so when I was down there in Miami, first of all, best dressed crowd I've ever seen at one of my shows.
I mean, like, usually people that come to the show, they got style, they got some kicks, et cetera.
But like when we were doing a meet and greet, I mean, like, heat.
Yeah.
Heat on the feet.
You know what I mean?
Like, it really came through.
But I also started thinking, like, okay, what if you came from this place, which you knew was pretty poor, and then you came to America and you started making money.
You're trying to cover up the fact that you're poor, maybe subconsciously, right?
You're like, I'm going to have my hair done.
When you go, you don't ever see a dude without a shape-up in Miami.
Everybody's shit is fucking on point.
The outfit is on point.
I don't care if you're going to eat at like 3 p.m.
Outfits on point, shoes, all that.
And I think what it is, same reason my mom bought the mink, and I think same reason so many immigrants do this.
It's like, yo, I don't want subconsciously, they're like, I don't want motherfuckers to know what was happening back in the day.
And I think this is a testament to white hipsterism is that it is the most privileged.
Oh, 100%.
White hipsters are trying to act poor.
To mask.
They're buying hand-me-downs to mask.
Guilt they feel.
I don't want people to know where I'm from.
Specifically, the exact same logic.
I don't want people to know where I'm from, what it's like over there.
Because then you're going to look at me different.
You're going to judge me.
So let me dress it down.
Let me hate all that shit.
Let me not me about any of it.
And it's the most arrogant fucking thing.
Right.
Here they are trying to be down or trying to be relatable.
They move into these fucking poor neighborhoods and then they start dressing poor.
I'd be insulted if I was from that poor neighborhood.
I'd be like, wait, you're trying to dress like me?
Like, imagine if somebody like, like, tried to dress like a pirate.
You know what I mean?
Like, imagine that, like, I don't know exactly why that would make sense, but like, do you know what I mean?
Like, imagine you moved into a Puerto Rican neighborhood and you just started wearing fucking green frogs on all your backpacks and shit like that.
You bought a white Honda Civic.
You know, like you really tried to fit in.
It'd be insulting a little bit.
I don't know if I would consider that insulting.
It's almost like you're moving to the neighborhoods like, all right, I'm one of the people now.
Like, you know, it's almost like embracing instead of just like, there's something like that.
Let me just flex my money in front of people, a bunch of people who don't.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
That is interesting.
And I'll accept that.
I just think it is fascinating.
I don't know if that many hipsters are aware of that, like how privileged it is to dress shitty on purpose, to like buy hand-me-downs purposely.
You can't afford clothes that haven't been worn and then specifically go to the Goodwill and buy the ones that have.
Right?
It's like you were trying to buy into a lifestyle that isn't yours.
Just like the immigrants.
Immigrants are trying to buy into a lifestyle that isn't where they came from.
Why are we obsessed with not being ourselves?
Grass is always greener.
I guess that's what it is.
You know, it's interesting too to hear Al do that, where we were like, isn't that insulting?
And I was like, no, I like it.
I remember when my roommates in college were all black dudes the last couple years.
And anytime a white guy would like code switch or whatever and try to relate to them, I was like, isn't that fucking insulting to you?
How much they're pandering?
And they were just like, nah, man, at least they're trying.
Like, interesting.
And it was, maybe it's a privilege we got to be like, yo, isn't that insulting?
And they're just like, nah, it's cool to finally see someone trying to relate to me.
That's interesting because it's better than the opposite.
But there's a fine line.
Which is racism.
Yeah, there's a fine line.
If they go too far with the pandering, then it's like, all right, come on.
I cringe when I see it.
But at the same time.
Tom Styrett.
Yeah, I was just about to.
Oh, yeah, Tom Stire doing that little dance.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Even though it looked pretty funny, though.
I mean, like, I don't know.
I don't know.
Like, do white people just never dance?
I don't get it.
White people.
A lot of these white people, especially politicians, dance like it's their first time.
Yeah.
Like, have you ever taught someone how to shoot a basketball and they just shoot it really weird?
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, you haven't ever done that.
Throwing a football the first time.
Throwing football.
It's so fucking goofy.
They dance like girls throw.
Yes.
White politicians dance like girls throw.
Just no coordination whatsoever.
But it's like, I grew up in a dance family, so it's a little bit weird for me.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, because I was around it since I'm a kid.
I see you have way more rhythm than most white people.
I thought you were going to say general.
But isn't that...
Is it weird when you guys look at this, when you see white people?
Like, are you like, explain how you don't know how to do a two-step?
No, I just talked about the white people can't dance.
No, I know there's exceptions.
Let's go why.
Like, let's dig into that.
Why can't white people dance?
White Politicians Dance Like Girls00:04:23
What does it take to dance?
Just music going, right?
No, but you have to have done it before.
That's why Toronto girls can dance.
Toronto white girls.
They grow up dancing.
Culturally, the, and this is, I guess, more white teenagers should be able to dance because we grew up, I assume in our generation, you needed to be able to know how to dance kind of at least.
To at least grind your dick up on a girl's butt.
Exactly.
Come on.
So that's why I learned how to dance.
That's why we learned how to dance.
But I don't understand why people are age who can't dance.
All white people, what are you doing?
The fucking jitterbug, the fire.
The jitterbug was fire.
Why don't white people just do the jitterbug?
Which one is that one?
It's like the swing.
No, no, no, we got to see it.
I don't know how to fucking switch.
So we got to see it, son.
I'm going to fuck up the jitterbug.
Like, for example.
So you can't be talking shit, Tip.
If you're going to do the swing, you know, shake that ass.
Back it out.
Shake that ass.
Show me what you were going to do.
So that's what I would have done with a juvenile.
I would have grabbed him by his waist and done the fucking Charleston.
Real talk.
Yeah.
That we would have respected way more.
If you did a white dance while some black song is.
And it was hot as shit as this.
They would love that shit.
Hold on.
Is this why white people can't dance?
Because they're trying to do black dances that they've never practiced.
That they've never practiced and they don't know what the fuck to do.
White people waltz.
Son, if they just don't do it.
Yo, if they did the waltz.
They just dropped that ass up.
That is on fire.
Done.
Just throw a little extra hip in it and it's a wrap.
Now it's like, oh, we fuck with you because you're doing your shit with your thing.
Tower music.
I love that.
I think that makes way more sense.
This guy's flailing on stage, not knowing what the fuck he's doing.
He's like, hey, all right.
It's just moving.
I think this is dancing.
I just don't understand it.
I don't understand how you get to that point in your life as an adult without ever practicing dance.
And now it's making sense.
He has practiced dance.
He just has never danced to that type of music.
He's a fucking 70-year-old man.
Hip-hop didn't exist when he was doing his dancing.
And if you played some white people shit, he probably would be able to do it.
Now, shall we continue?
I think we should continue because we have other bills to pay.
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DHM Detox for Alcohol Breakdown00:08:43
I love this point in elections when you see white people chucking and jiving.
Oh, it is.
It is so funny.
It is so funny, though.
Yeah, we are.
Yeah, all these motherfuckers are so.
That's why you got to love Trump.
And I know I'm going to get eye rolls for this, but like, you're already eye rolling.
No, no, but like everybody here can say how much they fucking hate Trump.
I don't care about his policies, any of that kind of shit.
I'm talking pure entertainment value.
When he did the thing where he was at the podium and he was making fun of Mike Bloomberg, and then he just shrunk at the fucking pony.
The timing was so good.
Like everything about it was so funny.
Son, he is raw entertainment.
It's undeniable raw entertainment.
He is the best insult comic of this generation.
Yeah.
Put him on the roast.
Literally.
Like, it is amazing, dude.
Think of it.
And like, when you look at these politicians, this is what fucking losers they all are.
I mean, you got to be a true, true and true loser to be a fucking politician, dude.
Because none of them have any clapbacks.
Like, and this could be, and I think that's a hard.
No, but I got a theory.
I got a theory.
Okay.
That is true.
If he is aggressive first, if he's the aggressor, he puts you on the defensive.
He's a clapback on Trump.
I have a theory, though.
And this is why.
Billionaires don't get made fun of in their life.
Interesting.
Right?
Not since that first billion.
Not since that first, not since maybe millions.
Not since that first million, maybe.
Do you know what I'm saying?
I think rich white people in general don't even got to be billionaires.
I'm rich.
Y'all make fun of me all the time.
No, but you came from New York.
Like you were, you were still like hanging out with New Yorkers in the show.
No, no, no.
I understand what you're saying.
I'm just teasing.
But like, when you're one of these guys.
Yeah.
Now, here's the difference of Trump.
Trump is made fun of every single day.
He's actually used to it.
He's actually invited it.
He's the fat Puerto Rican.
He's Gordita.
Gordito.
Pelo Ruvio.
Whatever these fucking things are.
So now he's heard all the insults, right?
He's leaned into this character that is so hatable for fucking 50 years.
Nobody paid 40 years.
It's quite possible that's who he is now.
Oh, no.
Let's say that is him.
Let's say it is him, but he's leaned into it.
He has the hair looking all stupid.
He has all that kind of shit, right?
So he's heard all the other stuff.
These billionaires, they don't want to be in entertainment.
When was the last time Elizabeth Warren?
When did Elizabeth Warren get made fun of before Pocahontas?
I never heard an Elizabeth Warren jump.
Never once.
Yeah.
Never once.
And why would you make fun of the person that's just trying to help?
Right?
All these Dems are, hey, we're just trying to help.
And she's honestly adorable, like a grandma.
I'm not going to make fun of Elizabeth Warren.
You're going to make fun of someone who literally comes to your town and says, hey, we want to pay teachers more.
Shut up, maggot, right?
You're not going to do that.
Right?
So for the first time in a billionaire's life, like Mike Bloomberg, Mike Bloomberg has probably not been made fun of or even been to his face or even been criticized to his face.
No way he's been called short by even his closest friends for 40 years.
And I do think it's a little different with him because he was mayor of New York, but I could also see potentially him just being insulated from all the insults and all that.
If you don't want to be in entertainment.
You saw him in the fucking debates.
Son.
They came at him.
He's like, this motherfucker was worth $65 billion.
Hey, shut up, bitch.
That's what I would have said.
Hey, bitch, shut up, bitch.
Stop talking shit, bitch.
I still don't hate Bloomberg.
I'm going to be honest with you.
No, no, no.
I'm not anti-Bloomberg.
What I'm trying to say is why they're so bad at the insults, right?
If you take some broke motherfucker that got nothing, he's going to be ready to go.
Yo, you know who's ready to go, honestly?
Who she don't clap back super hard, but she handles it all super well is Ocasio-Cortez.
People try to shut up.
She's a bartender, son.
Exactly.
Two years ago, she had Puerto Rican dudes trying to get some pussy while they're getting old-fashions.
And that is to y'all's point of like, she's fine.
She just rolls right off of her.
She makes little videos making jokes about it, whatever.
Her clapbacks are good.
She ready.
Her clapbacks are good.
But she got that from being a bartender.
Hey, let her have 40 years of not being a bartender and let her be a millionaire for 40 years.
And then Trump had a, what's that, his show?
The apprentice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was just making fun of motherfuckers all day.
So he's working on the insults.
I guess what I'm trying to say is like, when you are treated a different way by the world, like, for example, any king of any country is not going to know how to clap back.
No.
Not even have a chance because he doesn't practice it.
Hot girls don't have personalities because no one ever treats them like a person.
There was a whole school of thought, these pickup artists guys.
There was a whole school of thought.
You don't have to pretend you weren't one of them.
I was not a pickup artist.
Of course, I read the book like everybody else.
So that makes you one.
No, no, no.
You didn't read the book.
You had a top hat.
Son, I was out here getting pussy.
Don't snip over that.
I would never identify.
I'll explain why I differentiate.
I never liked the idea that there was a script that you were supposed to go off.
It felt inorganic and I didn't feel like I was getting the pussy.
But you brought him a top hat.
Of course.
100%.
I couldn't afford a chain.
You know what I mean?
Like, you get a big ass chain.
What's the difference?
I don't know.
You're peacocking.
You're trying to do something that's going to attract females.
Now, if you can't afford something expensive, like a car or a chain, you wear something weird so that girls go, wait, why you got that weird shit on?
Right?
It's just baseline.
Something you learn from human psychology.
That's got to be a topic.
You got to help the assholes out.
For sure.
You know, teaches the ways the Jedi masters.
You want to know the game.
And you know what's so fucking funny about this guy who wrote the book, The Game?
Now he's wrote a book about why that was horrible and you should be in a relationship and why it's good.
But at the end of the book, he makes that turn too.
Yeah, I guess it's kind of fun.
But it was, listen, we don't have to get back to it.
Here, you want a tip for picking up girls?
Here's the number one tip of picking up girls.
Don't walk up to a girl.
That's the number one tip.
Don't walk up to him.
Situate yourself at the bar so they have to walk by you.
Okay.
Now, just the psychology of you talking to a girl as she walks by you, it seems like she's approaching you.
When you go hunt a girl.
Oh, so you still initiate combo, but you just initially while she's walking by you.
So it's like, ah, okay.
Do you know what I mean?
I mean, it's like a million different dudes are going to walk up and try to do some shit, but if she got to go to the bathroom and you're kind of in the way of that, situate yourself correctly in the bar.
That's why like the table shit is so stupid.
Like most of the table shit removes you from where any girls are.
So now you got to have one guy rounding out.
You're peacocking, but now you've got to have a guy out there hunting the girls.
Oh, no, stopped.
The table was great.
Some guy, I got plenty of pussy back in the day because of the table.
Yeah, because you just bring them over to the table.
But back in the day, tables were different, right?
So back in the day, there was like, now we're getting a little off topic, but like back in the day, there was like seven to ten tables that surrounded the dance floor in the club, right?
Now the dance floor is way smaller and there's way more tables.
The whole nightclub industry is about tables now.
So now you could be situated four tables back where you got to walk girls through five different tables just to get to your table and you're not even close to the dance floor where the girls are and girls would never organically be hanging out by your table.
Gotcha.
If your table is not close to a place where girls are organically hanging out, you're a sucker.
Don't ever be there.
Your shit got to be right next to where the girls are so the girls can place themselves by you because you know that they'll find it.
You got the little bottle rats.
They'll see it.
And if you're having a good time, they'll be dancing by you automatically.
And hey, you want to drink?
But now they've approached you.
You've already flipped the whole psychology of the whole shit.
So what I didn't like, this is what I didn't like about the whole pickup artist thing.
And this is what we were talking about to the insult thing.
Is the whole premise of the pickup artist thing was, hey, we're going to insult girls and lower their self-esteem so that they view themselves lower than you are.
Oh, negging.
Exactly.
Negging.
Yes, exactly.
So this, this, so for example, if you walked up to them and they looked at you like you were seven, but you treat them badly enough that they start thinking they're a six, then they'll be attracted to you.
And my whole thing was, I'm better than you already.
Obama vs Trump Debate Dynamics00:02:41
So you just don't know it yet.
So I don't got to make you feel bad.
Feel as good as you want.
I want you to feel as good as you want because eventually you're going to find out who I am.
This is before I was ever on TV or anything like that.
So it's like, I'm dope.
You just don't know I'm dope yet.
So we're going to find ways to find out that I'm dope.
That's it.
And eventually you're going to do it.
But like these nerds started making fun of girls and getting pussies.
They're like, I just got to be mean to women to get pussy.
It was corny.
It was like, yo, make a girl feel dope.
As long as you got value, she'll realize.
Simple.
You know what I mean?
Like, simple as that.
Shit that works now is just be busy.
When you busy.
That's the ultimate neg.
I can't hang out.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, so that's the thing.
I think that they're not, like you said, hot girls are not used to being made fun of.
Yeah.
Politicians, rich people, go, go.
Rich people are hot girls.
Yeah.
Rich, successful people?
Hot girls.
You think Tom Crew's been made fun of recently?
Yo, I had to start the other day.
I'm like, I'm kind of hope Trump changed the law.
What law?
When he gets reelected for a third term?
Which law?
That you can only have two terms as president?
Ah, yes.
You kind of propose a FDR.
Yeah.
So Obama could run again.
Interesting.
That would be dope.
You think he would?
I would hope so.
I don't think he would.
If not him, Clinton.
Clinton, he wants that spotlight again.
Clinton's too old, man.
That motherfucker is old.
Yeah, man, heart attacks and shit.
It'd be interesting, though, Obama.
I'd like to see how Obama deals it.
Obama's just so smart.
He's like a truly intelligent, intelligent guy.
So I'm curious to see how he would handle a Trump.
And the charisma he has.
I think he'd have some nice snapbacks.
Yeah, I'm curious what he would have as far as snapbacks.
I don't know if he'd be that great in the moment, maybe, but I think that he'd be psychologically superior to Trump just in terms of how his brain works.
So I think he could take, I think he could really analyze what Trump does and have great retorts for it after the fact and then say it on a night show or say it on Twitter or a podcast or these types of things.
It'd be an interesting dynamic.
Nah, but he, because the way Obama was in the debates, like killed.
They killed him.
It was nice, bro.
I would like to see them go against him.
There was a time in the debate, one of my favorite times, the Obama debate where he was up against Romney.
I think it was Romney.
Or maybe it was Bush.
I don't know.
But Bush was talking about we need to expand our military.
Ernie Adams as a Political Coach00:13:43
You know what I mean?
Like, Obama has, I think it was Romney.
Romney has a, Obama has shrunk in our military.
You know, we only have, what'd he say?
We only have X amount of boats or some shit like that.
Right.
We only have, or we only have X amount of tanks.
You know, we should have way more tanks.
We only have X amount of tanks or something like that.
And Obama goes, well, we have less tanks for the same reason we have less military guys on horseback because that's not how war is fought anymore.
It was just like a fire line.
It's like, as technology improves, you do different things.
You use different shit.
And it was just like he understood whatever, what was going on.
But yeah, I don't know how the fuck we got to this.
Latin culture?
Yeah.
What's up, everybody?
Let's take a break, pay some bills.
Get your balls right, man.
You feel that good weather coming?
Yeah, you were nice during the summer, right?
And you had that nice coat of fur, keeping your nuts warm, maybe a little bit grown up on the shaft, had a little peat moss on your Johanneson.
Well, now things are changing.
That's right.
It's March.
It's about to be April.
Then it's going to be May.
And then it's going to be June.
And your dick is going to stink unless you take care of it and manscape it.
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You can leave a little bit, but manscape it.
Now let's get back to the show.
Shall we talk about some departas?
Yeah, what you want to talk about first?
Man, I want to have Spencer Pesinger in here.
Spencer's, he was on a podcast before, and he's got an amazing take about the Patriots and Bill Belichick and what Bill Belichick's secret weapon is.
Maybe we'll touch on it later, later in the pod, but he can really explain it way better than me.
But basically, his take was, and he listens to the pod.
Thanks for coming out to the show, Spence.
And then Spencer used to play in the NFL.
And he goes, one of the reasons why Belichick is so dominant is because Belichick is two people.
Right?
And I go, what do you mean?
He goes, there's this guy that's on the staff.
He's not a coach.
He's like an assistant or something like that.
His name is Ernie Adams.
And I started to Wikipedia Ernie Adams.
You guys can Wikipedia Ernie Adams.
He's this kind of shadowy figure who's existed within football and outside of football.
He just left football randomly and started working at Wall Street.
Now, you don't get to leave football and like immediately work on Wall Street as part of an investment bank and like kill it whenever you want, unless you're kind of a special dude.
Right.
But apparently they met at the, I think Belichick's father was the coach or like a scout at the Army Academy or something like that.
I'm not exactly sure, but I'm fucking.
And so they met there when they were in like high school and became friends.
And basically he is the equivalent of Moneyball for football.
How so?
Crazy stats, data, analysis.
He's the guy that was like, we should go for it more on fourth down.
Punting is actually bad.
He's the brain in terms of.
I remember him being talked about because they were doing an analytics thing.
Yes.
Saying how many coaches embrace analytics.
And Bill Belichick was like, I don't really embrace analytics.
And then somebody was like, you got Ernie Adams.
He's like the fucking analytics.
He is analytics.
And that's why you can go from football to Wall Street.
Yeah.
Because they're like, oh, this guy understands data.
It's called Moneyball.
Moneyball.
They know exactly.
Then he went to Money Money.
Yeah.
And then he came back to Moneyball.
So apparently, and what they do is they don't market him at all.
They don't say anything.
And respect to him that he's letting Belichick get all the credit for, you know, partially his very hard work.
But they have all these innovative techniques to scout players.
They have innovative techniques for reps in practice.
For example, a DB runs way more miles in practice than a linebacker or a DN would simply because the routes are longer.
You've heard about this, right?
Nope, I just didn't make sense.
So they're like, ooh, we need to rest DBs on this day because we're actually grinding them too hard that by the end of the season, it's going to increase injury, et cetera.
So he's transitioned the NFL into a more of a data game.
And other teams are starting to pick up on it.
Obviously, Philadelphia Eagles used that guy during their Super Bowl run.
And now he's with Miami.
But there is a, he's an interesting kind of shadowy figure that I think plays a much bigger part in the Patriots success.
And if you do remember, remember during the scandal, not this last year, I think it was a few years ago where they were recording plays?
Oh, yeah.
They're recording the practices.
Yes.
Right.
That's Spygate.
Spygate.
That footage was going back to none other than Ernie Adams.
Now, Ernie Adams is not a coach on the team, so I guess it's okay.
He's just a data guy.
Right, right, right.
I think Spencer was saying he doesn't even have an official role or title.
Like, he might just be getting brown bags of money on the side.
Yo, real talk.
If you combine that with Belichick, who's a fucking brilliant game planner, forget it.
It's over.
Like, dude, I remember he...
Maximize efficiency.
I remember Belichick's strategy against the Rams in the Super Bowl, which is like, you know, this insane offense.
How do you stop them?
And it was, oh, the coach sends signals in to Jared Goff up until like 10 seconds in.
So why don't we just give them one look, have the coach send in a play, and then we'll switch our look.
And now Jared Goff doesn't know what the fuck to do.
He can't audible.
He's not that guy.
He's been getting help from his coach.
Let's take the coach out of it.
Like, brilliant game.
That's what they did.
That's what to remove McVay.
Goff sold hard.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, because McVay would just send in signal, like, hey, this is the look they're giving you.
This is the play.
Up until they've cut off the mic communication like 15 seconds left in the game clock or what play clock or whatever.
So once they cut that communication, Belichick knows.
That's how it is across the league.
At 15 seconds, you can't talk to your quarterback anymore.
Okay, so we'll give two looks.
Oh, my.
You line up in one look, and then with 10 seconds left in the play clock, switch to another look.
And now Jared Goff got to figure that shit out in 10 seconds, and he not going to do it.
He couldn't do it with 40, 35, whatever.
This is genius.
Who is the most effective person on your team that we need to stop?
Sometimes it's the coach.
How do you remove a coach?
They literally probably sat down and had this exact conversation.
How do we remove the coach?
Well, I mean, you know, he's given plays, you know, I guess up until 15 seconds.
Wait, up until what?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Let's not show him any defense.
And then after that, leave it on golf.
The only difference is Belichick wasn't surprised by how many Belichick knows.
He's the guy.
How do we remove the coach?
Oh, they got the play clock until 15 seconds.
He's sending calls in.
So we just give him two looks.
And the defense, and Peter King said it on an interview on the ticket.
He said, from everybody he's talked to, players love Bill Belichick because they know if I trust him and do my job, which is the fucking team motto, do your job, we'll win.
That's interesting.
That is how you get players to sacrifice.
It is very hard, and I understand it from a player's perspective.
It's very hard to sacrifice if it's not successful.
It's very hard to tell someone, hey, do your job if it doesn't work out.
Eventually, you start having that OBJ thing where you go, well, why don't you let me do me?
And maybe we could win.
You have the Terrell Owens, Chad Ojosinko.
Why don't you let me do me?
And then we can win.
You have the wide receiver complex.
Let's just call it that.
Literally.
We have the wide receiver.
Well, if I get mine, then we could, let me just score.
That's what I do is score.
That is interesting.
But if you know that exactly what you do will let your team win and you trust that man, all of a sudden you get in line.
Everybody falls in line.
And I think that's what made Brady the perfect third part of this triumvirate, whatever you want to call it, because Brady is the best player in the league, but he'll get in line.
Brady will say, okay, you're not going to surround my offense with weapons.
I trust you.
Put him on the defense.
I trust we'll win this way.
And when your leader is winning Super Bowls and trusting the coach, it's Tim Duncan and Garrett Pollock.
I was about to say Tim Duncan.
And did you see this story with Belichick?
Yo, we'll skip the combine to watch this guy.
Yeah, no, I want to get back to this in one second.
What's very interesting about this is Tim Duncan and Popovich.
Does Popovich come from a military?
I wouldn't, I don't know for a fact, but I wouldn't be surprised.
He never coached or went to or anything like that.
Can you look up Greg Popovich in military, please?
Interesting.
Because I would imagine, and maybe some of the assholes listening right now could tell us, but I remember, I would imagine that is the exact thing that they tell you in the military.
Everybody has a role here.
Everybody has a job.
You do your job.
And then together we get this shit done.
Don't go out there trying to be last action hero.
Don't be hero.
Don't play hero ball.
Don't play hero ball in the military.
Popovich served five years of required active duty in the U.S. Air Force, during which he toured Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union with the U.S. Armed Forces basketball team.
Makes perfect sense.
And if you notice, on the Spurs, there's no star.
Yeah.
Even when you had one of the greatest players in NBA history, he wasn't even really a star.
He played a role.
It was the most dominant role.
He wasn't marketed like a star.
But he wasn't marketed.
It was the spurt.
You had Manu Ginobli, who's arguably one of the best two guards in history.
If real basketball guys will go, yo, that motherfucker is one of the best ever.
Come off the bench.
Could have started and carried a lot of teams, for real.
Came off the bench.
Sacrifice for the greater good.
That military background will fucking do things, man.
It's really interesting.
That is.
And that's probably why Belichick got no problem cutting people.
Look, you're not effective anymore.
This is the military.
It's about the unit.
Let's go.
If you're the weakest link on the platoon, be out.
And we think that it's unfair when it comes to sports, but when it came to war, we'd be like, bro, you're past your prime?
You're going to get all of us killed being out there past your prime.
So if he looks at the game truly like it's life or death, you would never put someone out there that was less in their capability.
Yeah.
Hurts the whole platoon squadron, whatever.
And you could sit them down and be like, why would you think that you're more important than all these other guys?
Yeah.
If I play you and you're not as good as you used to be, you're hurting their chances at winning.
Do you want to do that?
And what he does so brilliantly, and I think we're, from what I'm hearing, everything could change.
But from what like ESPN and shit is saying, this is about to happen again, is he is brilliant at getting rid of you one year too early as opposed to one year too late.
So we could transition right now to the Brady.
Brady, he's probably, this isn't necessarily too early, but he had Jimmy G waiting to get rid of Brady too early.
Get him out early.
We'll be good.
Now, Garoppolo, I don't know what he would have been about the injury, et cetera, but like Belichick was ready.
We'll make this switch.
Kraft is the one that said, nah, Brady's the guy.
Trade Jimmy G. Belichick didn't want to.
Belichick is famous for getting rid of you one year too early instead of one year too late.
What do you think happens with Brady?
I can't see him leaving, to be honest with you, and they don't have anybody waiting in the wings to take his spot.
But all I'm hearing is like, again, on ESPN, people or sources are saying they'd be, quote, shocked if Brady stays.
I don't know how reliable that is.
Gun to my head, I think he stays.
I think it's guaranteed he stays.
You see Edelman putting that pressure on him?
That kind of makes me think he knows he's staying.
Because if that's your boy, you're not really going to do that to your boy.
Yeah, I think he's staying.
I think that they're having some fun with the media.
You know, Boston media loves to have fun.
I think he's staying.
I think that they can't sign.
Correct me if I'm wrong because the CBA isn't figured out just yet.
I don't know.
I think you can.
I think you can.
I know the Cowboys talked to Dak last week, I think.
But they haven't signed him, right?
I think the same holding pattern is happening with Dak as is for Brady.
I think.
I think I read that.
But point is.
Yeah, point is, I can't fathom that there's a world where he wouldn't just sign another one-year deal.
Maybe he wants more years, and then that's the hangup.
But if he would go to, if he'd go to Belichick and be like, yeah, let's just do one year.
Let's knock it out one more year.
Fury Wilder Fight Tactics00:06:35
I think he would take that in a heartbeat.
You don't think Belichick would take it?
Yeah, I think he might even say, give me one more year.
I'll take just one year.
I'll take less money again.
Give me weapons for fuck's sake.
Because he had nobody to throw to.
Gronk is gone.
Yeah.
Yet Edelman.
He actually had everyone to throw to, and then they got rid of all of them.
That's how fucking committed they are to the Patriot way.
I think Edelman might have been suspended for steroids this year, right?
A little bit.
But then ideally, if A.B. doesn't, I wonder how the season goes if A.B. doesn't get accused of abuse.
I mean, probably do it.
I think they would have definitely made the playoffs.
They made the playoffs.
I mean, I mean, like, go further.
The championship?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe.
We'll see.
I don't know.
What else we thinking, guys?
You heard, I mean, we spoke about a little bit about the Tyson Fury Wildery match.
Yeah.
Wilder once and enough.
He put that goofy ass video out of him.
I'm a king.
I'm your king.
Did you see that?
I didn't.
I didn't see it.
Oh, God.
It's so happy.
I want to see that.
How are black people not embarrassed by him?
Nah.
He's right now, he has enough stock for one more fight.
If he gets fucked up again, then it's like, all right, you're not our guy.
Okay.
You get him one more chance.
I mean, there's not a chance in hell.
There's just not a chance in hell.
You can't turn into a good boxer.
You're not, and this is shocking.
You're not strong enough to knock Fury out.
So what are you going to do?
You got to hope you hit him on the nose.
You get lucky.
You got to hope you drop him.
And then he's so wobbled that you can finish him within the round.
That's what you got to hope.
He took your best punch, one of the best punches ever.
Got back up, boxed his ass off.
Apparently in that round where he got knocked down, you said this, and I heard this somewhere else.
He loses the round because he gets knocked down, but after he gets knocked down and gets up, he starts winning that like that minute.
Yeah, he heard him or whatever.
That was, and apparently that, we're talking about the first fight just right now.
And apparently that round is where Fury learns how to fight Wilder.
So for the first time in that fight, he actually took it to Wilder.
Yeah, okay.
That's what I heard that too.
And then he was like, oh, shit.
That's how you beat him.
That's how you beat him.
Yeah, Teddy Atlas had a great podcast about it.
Are you still working with Teddy?
So like, Teddy, did you record that podcast where he was talking about the fight?
There's a couple.
Okay.
But so Teddy Atlas had a great podcast where he was talking about, you know, how you take out a puncher.
There are different ways.
There's one, you could try to outbox him where you stay away, but the value of being a boxer or like...
Oh, he also said you could load the gloves like Fury was doing.
Al's got this crazy theory.
Loaded gloves, huh?
You know, one is like the, what is it?
What is it called?
Like the extreme parts of Black Twitter?
Yeah.
Like it has his loaded glove theory for Fury.
It doesn't matter.
He loaded them with his fists that he then beat the shit out of Wilder.
So I would hope that that cement weighed 40 pounds so he could be like, look, I was carrying around 40 pounds and it didn't bother me at all inside the ring.
So there's a thing.
Okay, when you're fighting a puncher, you either try to outbox him.
Problem with that is when you're trying to outbox a puncher, that puncher is not afraid of your punches at all.
And they could sit down on their punches.
And that's what happened in the first fight.
Wilder sat down on those shots and then connected.
The other way to fight a puncher is make him go back.
Punchers need to set their feet in order to generate that power.
You can't just punch hard.
You need to sit down on your fucking punches to let it go.
And what Fury did is made Wilder back up to the point that he couldn't let his punches go.
And when he did, they didn't have any pop because he couldn't sit down on them.
And it's a dangerous strategy because you're basically going, okay, instead of me running away from the bear, I'm going to run directly towards the bear.
And then I'm going to hope that the bear doesn't know how to fight going back.
And it fucking worked out.
What are the chances Wilder learns how to fight going down?
No chance.
No chance.
I think he gets stronger and I think he changes up his tactic.
I think Jay tries to stand there instead of going back.
But then at that point, it doesn't become a boxing match again and Fury's a better boxer.
Yeah, there's no way.
The only way that he can win is what I said earlier.
He gets lucky, he clips him, and then he finishes him within the round.
You need to finish him within the round.
It's just not, or you have your promotional company bake the judges and you find a way where you can go 12 rounds.
But it looks like Fury can just beat the shit out of him.
There's one other thing is where you really try to work the judges and make them take away points from Fury for like holding or like leaning on you.
They took away one point during the fight.
But again, we're talking about like.
Yeah, that was a lot of that.
Yeah, you.
It was a lot of that.
Just got it.
It's a whole lot of that.
But a lot of that.
Wild King.
He's your king, bro.
Wildness came in 240, and that was too heavy, right?
That fucked him up.
230.
But he was conditioned.
I mean, who knows?
What is it?
He's carrying an extra 60 pounds into the ring.
Wilder.
20 that he gained and 40 that he chose to walk in there.
Like a weight vist.
Okay, we can talk about Tony Romo's contract.
We talk about Barry and Bernie Sanders.
Oh, yeah.
One thing, real quick, while we're talking about boxing for boxing fans out there, even if you're not a boxing fan, if you want to just see like beautiful boxing and like fighting, there's a great fight.
You can watch the highlights on DeZone.
It was Mikey Garcia versus Jesse Vargas, right?
And I'm not too familiar with Vargas, but Mikey Garcia has one of the greatest jabs I've ever seen.
So Mike Garcia, I forget what weight they're fighting around.
Maybe around like 140 or something.
And Mikey Garcia's jab, the closest thing I can liken it to, is a frog's tongue when it's snatching a mosquito out the sky.
It is, or like a snake when it lunges.
It is completely out of nowhere, right?
You'll watch him, and he goes, he doesn't have very long arms, so he gets full extension on the jab.
Body totally straightens out, and you cannot time it.
It's out of nowhere.
If you want to see what a jab does and how a jab affects a fight, you'll see him slowly break down Jesse Vargas with his jab.
Jonas Guarding LeBron in Finals00:14:15
And he beautifully follows the jab with a straight right hand.
I mean, it's gorgeous.
You just watch the highlight clip.
It's like 16 minutes or something like that.
Kind of scroll through quick.
But if you want to see a real boxing technician who also likes to brawl, go watch those two fight two guys fight on DeZone on YouTube.
You just type it in, but it's great.
Okay, what do you want to talk about next?
We could talk Hardin, Giannis.
Let's talk about it.
That's some beef.
So James Harden, my man is just sensitive to me.
I don't know.
They're doing the all-star voting.
Giannis takes a little swipe, I guess.
He drafts.
I don't even remember who he drafts over Harden, but he said.
Kimba Walker.
Kimba Walker.
I want someone on my team who's going to pass.
James Harden basically says.
Don't I average more assists than Kimba?
Yeah, and then says, basically, it's easy to score the way Giannis scores.
There's no grace to it.
He just goes in and dunks, right?
There's no skill.
No skill.
He goes, I wish I was seven foot and all I have to do is dunk.
There's no skill to that.
I have to learn how to play the game in basketball.
He's right.
Yeah.
He's 100% right.
I mean, there's far less skill to what Jonas does than to what Harden does.
Like, Harden is arguably one of the most skilled players in the history of the game.
He's 6'7, and he can, he has the ball on a string.
He can hit jumpers from anywhere.
He can finish at the rim.
He can pass beautifully.
It is unbelievable.
I mean, Jonas is, Jonas' greatest skill is being seven feet and having touch and athleticism.
Most people at that size are goofy or knock-kneed or they don't have the handle that you would require to do that.
They don't have any kind of like jumping ability.
He's like a fucking leopard out there.
Just lean and muscular and bounces.
Yeah.
It's like an elk.
It's like a fucking elk.
I'd eat him.
Put some jalapenos on that man.
Real talk.
But that's the skill.
You know what I mean?
Say again?
James Harden could just learn defense.
You know what I mean?
Like, you're so skilled at offense, you don't have to learn defense and you can still win an MVP.
But you're also not going to win a championship that way.
So I don't know.
Yeah.
The Rockets are 12-2.
He's not even their best player in the last 15, 16 games.
It's Russ.
It's Russ.
But here's the reality.
John is not going to win a championship either.
You don't think ever.
Yeah.
I mean, if he is, he's got to be the second or third option on a team.
You cannot win a championship.
I think he can do it.
I think he might do it this year.
What do you say, Shaq Kobe, the first three?
So the game was different.
And back then, bigs could be bigs, and they didn't have to do anything else.
You know, it's like the way I equate the way I equate the power forward, the old power forward now, it's almost like the old comic.
It doesn't want to learn how to cut clips or post anything.
It's just like, bro, you're a dinosaur.
The game has changed now.
Now you have to do these things.
These are requirements.
So if you're a power forward in the league, you have to be able to shoot at the three-ball.
You have to be able to dribble.
You have to be able to pass.
And Jonas can't shoot well enough consistently in order to be effective in the playoffs.
And you saw it in the all-star game in the fourth quarter, right?
The all-star game in the fourth quarter.
He just couldn't even get a shot off.
It wasn't like he was missing.
LeBron was getting shots off, but missing.
Jonas couldn't shoot the ball.
And that's what's going to happen to him in the playoffs when the buttholes get real tight, you know, and you have elite defenders playing elite defense on you.
I think they make the finals, and that could happen in the finals.
But I think they'll make the finals this year, and I think they could win.
The only person I think that can stop him is a healthy Kawhi or the Clippers in general.
LeBron not going to guard him one-on-one enough to really fuck with him.
But no one has to guard him in the playoffs is my point.
Like, just let him shoot.
You want Jonas to beat you shooting the ball.
Like, you treat him like Rondo in the playoffs.
That's what I would do.
If we lose because Jonas hits seven threes, if we lose a seven-game series because he went seven for 10, four games shooting threes, then we're supposed to lose and I can sleep fine doing that.
The question is, will he ever become an elite enough shooter where will he ever become an elite enough shooter or maybe develop an elite enough post-game which requires him to be able to shoot to where he can be effective in the playoffs?
And I don't think that he does.
I don't know if he has the touch.
I think he can.
I see where you're coming from.
I think he can.
I think he might do it this year.
We'll see.
I think it's Clippers, Lakers, and the West, and the Lakers in the finals don't scare me as much as the Clippers in the Finals.
I can see him getting to the playoffs in the East because no team is good in the East.
Like, literally, there's no good team in the East.
The Raptors are playing great, but in the playoffs.
Who do they have?
They're going to fall apart.
Like, there's nobody.
What's this for?
Kyle Lowry's asshole is going to get fucking tight.
He's going to not score calls.
Pascal's balled his ass off.
That's great.
And then, yeah, that's why I think that's great.
Fred Van Fleet is going to be your number three.
I mean, the guy's got fucking heart, don't get me wrong.
But Sixers could be salty in the playoffs, but I actually think they're going to make Skimmers go.
They're going to hoop.
You know what I mean?
In that game seven against the Raptors, Jimmy Butler was balling.
I think he's the guy in a game seven that steps up.
I don't think they have that guy.
Shake Milton, that was cute.
I don't expect that to happen too many more times.
He ain't going to do it.
76ers, they have Embiid, but Embiid doesn't have the fucking mental strength to manage himself in the playoffs.
Simmons can't shoot.
Simmons can't shoot, so you do the same thing you do to Jonas.
No, it's just going to be Bucs, Raptors.
I guess Celtics.
Celtics are sneaky.
I mean, we're not talking about Celtics, but if Jason Tatum keeps playing the way he's playing, you know what I mean?
Jalen Brown keeps hooping the way he's hooping.
That's tough.
That's tough in the playoffs.
And you have a guy that can get you two or three.
That's the thing.
Come playoffs, you need the two or three guy.
Jonas can't guarantee you it.
Jason can.
LeBron can.
Kawhi can.
PG-13 can.
You know, Jonas cannot.
I do.
And maybe it was just nobody knew how to guard him, but I remember him dismantling the Celtics a couple of games in a row in the conference.
Yeah, but did you see?
Semifinals?
Did you see what the Raptors did to them?
That was Kawhi, though.
Kawhi different.
Kawhi can do that to LeBron.
But LeBron can do that to Jonas.
That's what I'd be interested.
That would be a fun matchup to see in the finals.
LeBron versus Giannis going at it.
And you know what?
LeBron doesn't have to save himself for offense anymore because they got that fucking Unibrow guy.
That Unibrow guy can put 50 on your asshole, and he's going to put 50 on your asshole because Jonas is busy guarding LeBron.
And then if Jonas goes over to that Unibrow guy, LeBron's going to drop 50 on your asshole.
So who are you going to put on both of those guys?
To guard your asshole.
To guard your asshole.
I say leave your asshole exposed whenever you can.
But I also think the supporting cast of the Bucs, one to five, one to eight, whatever, is better than the Lakers.
After LeBron and AD, Kuzma is your third option, and I don't believe in Kuzma.
Yo, Kuzma sucks, bro.
Bro, how you got Jaden Smith's hairstyle?
Come on.
Yeah.
Aim higher, yo.
His fits.
His fits be hit or miss.
His fits be miss.
His hair sucks.
And Zion Williamson was bullying this guy.
I mean, it was sad.
It looked like a father playing his teenage kid that was talking shit in their backyard.
Well, I mean, Zion's going to look that way against a lot of players.
Yeah, but he's not going to look that way against Braun.
Nah, he backed up Braun.
There's a post-up clip of him backing up Braun.
There was a beautiful exchange at the end of the first half.
Yeah.
And it wasn't LeBron on Zion on LeBron, but he does have a clip of him backing up Braun in the post and scoring over him.
And how'd he score over him?
Just backed him up, shot it over him, turnaround jumper, little baby, kind of like the baby hooked Shaq thing used to do, the little bunny shot.
Wasn't that, but it was just power.
And how is it defended by LeBron?
Post, just one arm on him, arm bar.
Did he jump to try to block it?
I don't know if he could, man.
Zion is so quick with it.
I think Braun, you know what's interesting I think about Braun Zion.
I'm not that.
I'm not worried about it.
I think LeBron likes Zion.
I don't think he hates him, but I think this is his Kobe, if he's Jordan.
This is the guy that's the most like him since him.
And they're different games for sure.
Zion can't pass anything like, but just in terms of sheer physicality.
Game-wise, I think Luca is LeBron minus the athleticism.
Yeah.
But athletically, Zion is the closest thing we've seen to LeBron in terms of just this guy is fucking famous.
Freaking top, powerful, like shouldn't be, shouldn't have the body he has, but he has it.
And I think LeBron takes that a little bit personally in the sense of like competitively, like, I'm going to make sure everybody knows I'm still the fucking guy.
I love it.
I love it.
You see a little jab step jump three-pointer to seal the game?
Yeah.
Beautiful, dude.
I love it.
I mean, it was just great.
Do you agree with Stephen A?
He said if KD was in the game, if KD was playing, Nets would be number two in the East.
I have to assume that Kyrie would find a way to fuck it up.
Nobody KD, no Kyrie, I believe it.
I have to assume.
Yeah, especially in a weak East, man.
Holy shit.
East is weak.
But if KD was playing on any team in the East, you got to give him a shot.
But I have to assume Kyrie would find a way to fuck it up.
He would find a way to fuck up the chemistry, find a way to piss KD off, find a way to piss the other players off.
He'd find a way, like he did with the Celtics.
He would find a way.
And then how do you feel about KD possibly playing in the Olympics?
He's out for the season, but he said he wants to play in the Olympics.
I like that.
I don't mind that.
Yeah, give him some reps because you want real reps and you don't have to play him more than like 20 minutes a game because you have that 12-man roster of just savages.
And there's a weird thing that I don't know if it still happens, but out of the first two years...
Starting 2008 with the Kobe Redeem team, it elevated a bunch of people's game to play on that level.
KD, I remember, played for like the world championship team in 2010 or something and then came back kind of a different player.
There's a thing that happens with a lot of these guys where they come back better.
And that might be good for KD.
Not that he has another level he can hit, but it might be good to just knock the rust off if you haven't played all year.
Because you're with the fucking, you're with the alphas.
Like we're all working together.
Yeah.
I think it's really good for him.
So next year should be good for New York a little bit.
We'll see.
I mean, Nick's still fucked.
But, well, listen, I know we've been going for a while.
We've got some stuff to trim.
But I think that before we go, I just want to.
I want to go.
I'm sorry.
It was good.
It is his fault.
So there's something I want to touch on that's kind of crazy.
This is this Tony Romo contract.
For anybody who doesn't know who Tony Romo is, he was a quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.
He's the greatest loser in the history of sports.
Nobody has won as much while consistently losing in football as Tony Romo.
Wow, that's interesting.
You mean like lose when it matters?
They talk about it on the ticket, so it's not like I'm the first person that thought about this, but like the guy won two playoff games his entire career.
And I don't think it's his fault.
I think his supporting cast was bad, blah, blah, blah.
But this guy gets all the fucking spoils of a victor.
He's got the biggest broadcasting contract in NFL history.
He retires.
The whole city of Dallas celebrates him to no end.
He fucking starts for the Mavericks one game.
Like this guy gets celebrated and he's playing golf whenever the fuck he wants to, potentially missing games to go golf in tournaments.
Like he might not broadcast games if he's good enough to make the cut of a golf tournament that he wants to play in, which he never will be.
But if he is, he actually wins for once, they'll just let him miss a game or two.
So he's getting a $17 million a year contract to call the games for whom?
CBS with Jim Nance.
For CBS with Jim Nance.
The average player in the NFL makes $4 million a year, right?
I think we calculated that last week.
I cannot for the life of me figure out how this is worth it.
He doesn't, he's not the reason anybody watches the game.
Like most people, when they watch football, they're at a bar.
They don't even hear the volume, right?
They're busy licking buffalo sauce off their fingers.
And then they're just watching the game in between getting drunk with their buddies.
I think like a lot of football fans who are like fans, they want to hear the announcement.
Hey, great.
That's cute.
They don't want to hear it that bad.
I disagree.
I think they've run the numbers on this because they had Phil Sims, who nobody liked with Jim Nance.
Okay.
And I think they saw, they had to see some kind of bump.
And the competition in the AFC hasn't been incredible.
They think that the bump was to Romo.
They almost got paid.
Yeah.
So I know this is a little different than announcing, but it's almost like saying the TNT halftime show.
Like, I feel whatever they ask for, pay them because that, I look forward to the fucking halftime show coming on.
You talk about the inside the NBA.
Inside the NBA, yeah.
So with Romo, I've never heard of anybody talking about an announcer of a football game.
So the fact that he's...
But you have heard them talking about Romo before this?
No.
Before the contract, did you ever hear them saying Tony Romo is good?
Yes.
Yeah, like people, like people in general talk about how good he is.
I'll say.
Let's try to be objective because I think it's absolutely stupid if you're just talking about like, is this a smart or dumb thing to do?
But let's try to be objective about, let's play some money ball with this.
Every week, Tony Romo calls some play.
It ends up happening.
Somebody puts it on Twitter.
Excuse me.
It goes viral.
There's a dollar amount that you can attribute to that type of exposure in PR.
So maybe they looked at it like, wow, we're getting a million unique views or something like that a week that we wouldn't be getting.
Wow.
People are tuning into this thing.
Maybe it's worth $17 million.
I don't think it is.
I think it's an egregious waste of money.
But maybe they've run the numbers and they thought that that is his value.
Tony Romo Viral Play Predictions00:04:53
I also think I can't fathom, but and I didn't agree.
There is a weird subset of fans in every sport who shits all over all the announcers.
Unless you're really bad, I don't notice.
Like, you got to be really bad for me to be like, oh, this guy sucks.
Yeah.
But there's a lot of fans in every sport who really fucking pick apart announcers.
And a lot of those guys, for whatever reason, love Romo.
And if it comes down to Aikman and Joe Buck or Romo and Nance, there's a number of people who one guy tweeted it, and I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
And then I read his comments and a bunch of people were like, yeah, if I see Romo's doing a game, I'm going to go to that game over the NFC game.
So now when you have two games or three games going on at the same time, it's like, hey, that might be the difference maker of, oh, which one do I stay on and watch longer?
You know what?
I mean, look, I'll take the L if I'm wrong.
I just had no clue that anybody could watch football for the announcers.
I thought it was such a peripheral additive, like that people could not give a fuck.
I care about the replays way more than I care about.
Most A-teams are good.
Aikman and Buck, good.
Nance and Romo, great.
The Monday Night Team is terrible, but like typically any A-team of any sport that I watch, I'm fine with it.
When you get like the fucking BNC guys that are doing the Tampa Bay Bucks games, that's brutal.
But like, I'm with you for the most part.
That's not making me tune into a game or out of it.
Yeah.
And viewership is down.
So it's like they, anything you can to increase viewership, they probably inflated the number a little bit.
And I'm pretty sure he negotiated well.
He's like, yo, have you ever heard of any announcer being talked about as much as me?
He probably went over to Fox, went over to a few places.
Right.
Go share a number of tweets with my name in it.
He doesn't do the predicting plays as much anymore.
Something tells me teams are like, what the fuck are you doing?
Something tells me that was just like, probably they tell you a thing or two in these meetings.
And I'm sure sometimes he can just tell just by looking.
I also think one or two times he probably heard some in a meeting and then said, oh, this is going to be this play.
This is my theory at least.
And teams were like, what the fuck are you doing?
Stop it.
How about the meeting thing?
You know, they have before the game on Sunday, maybe Saturday, Friday, whatever, they'll meet with a bunch of players from both teams and talk to them.
If you ever watch a game, they're like, yeah, we talked to Romo, you know, or Tony Romo will be like, oh, yeah, we talked to Tom Brady the other day.
And he said, you know, this is a game where we want to establish the run or whatever.
They have meetings with these players.
Like, that's just a thing they've been doing for as long as I've been watching football.
And they might have been saying, hey, you know, and we might try to do this thing and this look and this look because Romo doesn't do the predicting nearly as much.
But that first weekend, he predicted play after play after play after play.
And then everybody's mind automatically, first of all, you're so much better than Phil Sims.
You're already a win.
Now you're predicting plays like fucking Nostradamus, Nostradamus.
Oh my God, this guy's amazing.
But he chilled on that.
But I think that one thing established him as like, this is a guy.
This is one of the best to do it.
And now he's chilled on that.
So I don't.
But again.
Why are we listening if he's chilled on that?
I thought that was what he does.
People still love him.
I think he did that immediately like early on and people were just like, this is a guy.
I love this guy.
And he will still give you insights, but like, he won't predict the play nearly as much now.
He developed cache that quick shit.
All right, get some money.
I'm not hating on somebody.
It doesn't make sense to me either.
I'm trying to make sense of it.
But like, I think he does make a difference if I don't care about two teams, maybe.
And if I'm like, yeah, I got nothing to do.
Let me watch football.
Maybe I'll choose the.
I just think he negotiated.
Maybe he definitely negotiated.
This is what they're going to give him.
He had leverage because ESPN wanted.
Maybe I.
Yeah, maybe I've just been conditioned by the Knicks to block out the reporters because Clyde Frazier is so fucking awful at calling the game.
Like it's just so painful to listen to him go razzled and dazzled and the neo fight and all these fucking words.
He looks like he just learned, you know.
But it's like, I do not care at all about an announcer and I never listen to an announcer what they fucking say.
Like, I care.
I think Van Gundy is great.
I think Doris Burke is great.
Yeah, Doris is good.
They're good.
But like, I could easily enjoy the game without them.
Like, I don't need the only reason I want them there is to like give me some breaking news.
Like, I don't need you to tell me what's happening.
He dribbled the ball at the court.
Thanks, Doris.
Yeah, I don't.
I'm in between you and those guys.
I really enjoy listening to Van Gundy.
I don't give a fuck if Reggie Miller is.
Van Gundy's great.
He's got just such a great personality.
I think with football, there's so much downtime that it's actually a valuable position.
With basketball, since it's like a moving sport, you're constantly in motion.
It's you have less responsibility.
You know, there's just like this, like, you could just kind of say what's happening.
You don't need to have these wild takes.
Like, I don't think Mark Jackson is that great.
Do you think he's that great?
Man, down, man, down's hot, but that's about it.
You know, there goes that man.
That's fun.
Maybe when he was hitting on somebody's wife, who was it?
LeBron's wife.
Van Gundy Football Commentary00:01:29
Oh, yeah, that was.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
God tapped that ass.
What did he say?
He didn't say something like that.
He said something wild.
Yeah, it was all.
Doris Burke had a flagrant thing.
He said, look the fucking something on.
It was like Zion or something.
We should look it up on Twitter.
Also, we need to do some commentating on our own.
Some flagrant commentary would be fun.
I think there's a Twitch thing or something we can do with that, but we need to do some flagrant commentating.
Give him a reason to care about the announces.
Yo, you're not wrong, my guy.
You're not wrong.
Yeah.
Actually, Ashol's tweeting or comment.
I'm so old.
If you use Twitch or you would like to see us on Twitch announcing games, let's see what they see what the people say.
That's a good idea.
Let's do that.
Guys, anything else before we bring this episode to a close?
No, good?
Okay.
Very curious to see how we put this episode together.
Saw that exhale?
I mean, we started the episode 15 different times in the beginning.
Yeah, it was pretty crazy.
It is very crazy.
Sometimes too flagrant, sometimes just bombing all around.