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Feb. 7, 2020 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
12:51
How To Slut Whisper w/ Kirill

Kirill recounts his "Slut Whisper" parties, detailing a Thanksgiving incident where he poured gravy on a woman and a Hoboken event where a man sexually assaulted a wife, leading to a liquor license revocation. He describes being banned in Halifax by misogynistic promoters and an incident involving a fan licking a bloody tampon. Discussing his relationship with a Greek woman, Kirill defends his controversial lifestyle and merchandise sales as necessary to fund their life in Los Angeles and New York City, while Akash teases that the Patreon version holds more content for non-social justice warriors. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
Gravy Party at the Club 00:06:39
Now, when you're pouring these things on fat girls, do you catch them eating them ever?
Bro, do you know how hungry I am at the club?
Like, someone brought me gravy.
Were you there, right?
Was a gravy party Thanksgiving with you?
And then we're having a fat girl.
Someone brought me gravy, and I was like, I don't even want to pour this.
I started, like, I was like, I'm starving.
And I was like drinking the gravy at the party.
That's more disgusting than pouring something on a fat woman.
Did you try it?
I can eat like a peasant any day of the week.
Yeah.
Have you ever tried pouring that on a fat girl, though?
What?
Gravy?
Yes.
Yeah.
I poured it on her, but I also.
What anoys do they make?
So I know that the clubs know what they're signing up for when they have you come through.
Not always.
Oh, really?
Yeah, because there's a lot of outside promoters and then the club finds out what they booked.
And it's just like, either I've gotten canceled.
I've had like, I love any press for this shit because it's got to be good for me.
Dude, anytime I get a party shut down, it's, hey, thank God.
I still get paid.
I don't have to go to that shitty town and I've got a press article.
It's always Canada.
Always Canada.
They one time printed Slut Whisper banned in Halifax in a newspaper.
I'm like, can you just send me that?
Oh, that's just like, that's like an.
Why were you banned?
Because I treat women like shit.
And I'm a misogynist.
Halifax is a bunch of fucking fathers who leave their wives.
Like, what are they talking about?
Wait, is it?
Yeah, that's what Nate McIntosh told me.
He's from Halifax.
Yeah, they also fucking redneck.
They're all down Canadian.
They're all town is just father.
They're Hillbillies.
Wherever he grew up, I think it's Halifax, Nova Scotia, right?
They're Hillbillies.
It's just a bunch of fucking, all my friends had no father growing up.
A bunch of no dad having ass kids.
Really?
Yeah.
That's what they get from me.
Maybe that's why they're in their own time zone, too.
Oh, really?
They're the only time zone 30 minutes ahead of New York.
Wow.
They just did 30 minutes.
They would do that.
They knew the fucking 30 minutes.
Yeah, they're like, we're ready to go.
You got to get away from your fat wife.
I'll be there anyway.
I'll be the answer.
Do you have some couples coming?
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, the wildest story is the fucking Hoboken story.
Wait, what happened in Hoboken?
That's why I almost lost my entire career before Slut Whisperer.
Whoa, go, go, I listen to this party in Hoboken.
Can you just send us voice notes as you think of crazier stories?
Next week, you're going to be like, yeah, you know what else?
Yeah, I have like PTSD.
I'm like, oh, shit, that happened.
I forgot.
I'm triggering it.
Okay, go.
To this party in Hoboken, easiest party I've ever done.
It's fucking 10 minutes from my house.
Sports part.
Tons of hot jersey girls.
Fucking, it's great.
Very slept on place.
It's fucking, it used to be good.
Not anymore.
Not after this night.
Like, this dude comes over and he's just a little like, you know, when the guy just shakes your hand a little, like, you're like, yeah, like, bro, I don't, you know, you're fine.
You could be the alpha in this situation.
Like, and he's like, it's my wife.
Can we do some shots?
And I'm like, all right, this guy's already too aggressive.
And he's at the table.
I'm like, fine, take some shots and I'll see you later.
He's like, my wife wants champagne.
I'm like, it's 9.30, sir.
Like, we're going to get to it.
Party gets fucking cracking.
Everything's good.
I stand up on the bar because like girls will jump up there and we'll pour champagne.
It's just like everyone can watch.
It's a sports bar.
This dude like clears the crowd, picks up his wife and throws her on the bar.
That's odd offer.
Takes off her clothes.
She takes off half her clothes and he starts fingering her.
Like you're a customer waiting.
You're a bartender.
She's right here, legs spread in front of you.
And you're like, all of this is happening.
And it's Hoboken, right?
Probably 50% of my fans and 50% are just like wandered into a bar in Hoboken and they're like, what did I just walk into?
Like Club shut down the next day.
Lost their liquor license, everything.
The mayor of the town said it was an abomination to human decency.
I mean, I was like, my career's over, right?
Wait, my career's over because the article the next day, sexual assault at New Jersey nightclub.
Oh, boy.
Did it say was it subheading Kerrill was here?
It was, I was in the article.
A Korill's Korill was a slot whisper party.
I don't think they mentioned my name yet.
It's all like, I'm like, all right.
I got to go in hiding.
What's going on?
It gets bad when my mom's like, why'd I hear your name on 1010 wins?
Whoa.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
And she's like, she's like, Corrille, you know, I have like a real job.
Like, I don't need people coming in and be like, we heard your son's name on 10.
Luckily, I had to sit on the information for so long because it was like.
Litigation and stuff?
No.
It's like I knew shit that no one else knew, but I wasn't going to speak out until it came out on its own.
Finally came out.
They were married.
So the sexual assault shit kind of went away, right?
It kind of became not like some guy fingered a random girl.
It's like, all right, married couple out of hand.
And then the thing that saved me and erased me from all of the stories is cop from Pennsylvania.
Whoa.
And it instantly became like indecent cop.
This is how they're acting.
Morals.
My name's gone.
It's not like, what did Korille do?
It's kind of like, hey, like, shit happened.
Dude, I had a party in Canada and this kid's like, I was too young.
I forgot.
I just remember.
I'm honestly so disappointed with what you think crazy is.
It was blue food coloring.
No, but like it's St. Patrick's.
I got a shitty memory.
I got a shitty memory.
Why didn't you just pour yellow food coloring and just make the green?
It was shit fisted.
Probably should have done that.
Just mix the two.
I also feel gay and knows how to make green out of food color.
Everybody, that's like the first time I've seen it.
I've seen you in like first grade.
Thank you for deflecting the roast.
I appreciate it.
Did you just tell us how to make green out of colors, bro?
That's the first thing you want.
You will pay for pussy.
Will you pay for dicks and buttholes for the guys?
Every day.
Shit.
He probably learned that in a painting class where he took a big pick of fucker.
Okay, go on.
Tampons.
Tampons.
So he pulled this tampon.
So I was at dinner with a bunch of fangirls because I'm like, if it's a shitty town, I don't know anyone.
And people would DM me like, hey, we're going to pregame.
I'm like, fuck it.
Let's go see how the locals do it.
And I went drinking with these girls and one of them.
We're working on red lobsters?
Dude, I don't even know.
It was in Canada.
So it's 18, a drinker, 19, a drink.
And this kid runs up to me on the street outside the club.
He's like, I just want to make it on your story.
Deflecting Roasts and Paying Up 00:06:08
And I can't get in.
Is there something we can do?
And the girls I was with, one of them at dinner mentioned she was on a period.
And I was like, will you lick her bloody tampon?
And she took it out in the parking lot and he sucked on it.
You like that suck on it.
I have the video.
Show us.
Now I don't have it in front of me, but I will get it to you.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Put that on the paper.
That's so much fun.
Like being able, that to me is way more fun than like the party because getting people to do dumb shit is hilarious.
Now, what I need to understand is how they put up with your lifestyle or how you put up with their reaction to your lifestyle.
Well, it's not easy to have a history of failed relationships.
So it obviously didn't work out.
It's hard for comics to explain their lifestyle.
Yeah.
The girls.
Really difficult.
We're out late and we're telling jokes.
We're not pouring like Thanksgiving beverages on right.
I mean, in the end, it was always like, hey, let's pay for all the nice things you have here.
So why don't we just like relax?
Like this is this is the job.
Like you knew what you were getting into, right?
Like I don't really like surprise you with it.
That works kind of like a girlfriend.
You knew what you were getting into?
That line works.
That line really works.
You say that line, and then they go, I did know.
For what I do for a living?
Yeah.
That works.
Okay.
Yeah, that's good to know.
I mean, but like, does that, I mean, that works?
That line works?
That works for you?
You knew what you were getting into?
Every line works for me.
Let me tell you something.
Do you know how much you knew what you were getting into?
What?
That doesn't work.
Do you know what my girlfriend says to me?
What if she says, when you not pour champagne on girls tonight and be like, what do you want me to do?
Let me tell you something.
They say things.
They say things like that.
Oh, I know.
And then I go, you knew what you were getting into.
I say that once.
And then my girl said this to me once.
She's like, oh, did I?
I didn't know that when you put your arm around me when we were sleeping, it would smell like shit because you were just scratching your butthole.
I don't know how to embody it.
She said, basically saying, I signed up for something else that I signed up for things I didn't know that I signed up for.
Yeah, but you can wash your hands.
I still need to pay bills.
Yeah.
But she knew she was, she didn't know that, but she knew she was dating a comic.
I was scratching my ass, to be fair.
I just didn't think that she would smell it when I put my hand around.
Is that what the fight is about?
What?
Is that what the fight is?
That's not.
If you're in the argument to that was you knew what you signed up for, like, yeah, you should have lost that one.
Okay.
You can't smell like shit, babe.
You know what I signed up for?
I don't think they smell like shit.
I did not think that they smell like shit.
I did like a little, like, I went like this and I said, your shit smells good.
Maybe to me.
Yeah, that's the point.
Yeah, but she claims it woke her up.
She claims that I went to cover that in the middle.
This is the fight she wanted to have, and she started about your career so that you would get you to wash your hands.
And you know what?
She's right about washing my hands.
And I felt like I should have washed them.
And I did agree with her on that.
Yeah.
See, if you turn this into a bit, then you could be, hey, this is for work, honey.
You're welcome.
Right.
You should have turned and be like, honey, this is, I'm just going for material here.
But here's the thing that Akash pointed out so beautifully: is that our lifestyle can often be difficult to communicate, right?
Yes.
Babe, I got to go to Honolulu with the boys this weekend.
You can't come because you have work.
I would love you to be there.
That's difficult, et cetera.
We get through it.
You are doing things that no girl would ever accept.
Right.
And then you just say, you just say, what did you say?
What was the line?
You knew what you were getting into.
You knew what you were getting into.
And then you want me to believe that a woman, a woman with a woman's brain and she's Greek.
She's Greek, right?
She's a nut.
Your girl's Greek.
Get the fuck out of here, Corrill.
You want me to believe that a Mediterranean Greek woman, here's you go, you knew what you were signing up for.
And then she goes, you're right.
I didn't think about it like that.
Yeah, Corrille.
I should have thought about it like that.
And then I would have understood it.
Thanks for clearing that up.
It kind of goes like that.
That's how it goes.
Yeah, yeah.
And then what do they do?
They just go, what?
They go back to bed?
Yeah, we're fine.
Hey, everything's good.
Hey.
Hey, girl, can you give me a little reminder?
What do you want me to do?
You knew I poured champagne.
Yeah.
You don't have this argument?
Yeah.
You're my girlfriend?
Yeah, yeah.
You be the one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
When did you meet me?
What?
Three years ago?
I met you three years ago.
That's the height of all of this, right?
The height of all of it.
What did you want to think?
I was going to stop.
I also thought you were going to keep more of your hair.
Yeah, I thought so too.
This is your fault.
Why is it my fault?
Because you're fucking giving me shit about my job.
I'm not giving a shit about your job.
When we met, you didn't say that you love me.
And you didn't say you want to share a studio apartment with me in Los Angeles along with a nice apartment in New York City.
Yeah.
How do you think I pay for that?
Buy selling shirts online and other merchandise, not pouring champagne on sluts and whores and hussies.
I don't know.
I dare you to tell me what's in line again.
You knew who he signed up for.
I dare you to tell me that, Kirill.
I dare you.
And then I would just leave and go, I got to go to work and pour champagne on whores.
So you would, you'll just leave in order.
I have to go to work.
I feel like this is an argument that happens once every three years.
Yeah.
And that's it.
And then that's it.
That's it.
It's all good.
It looks so good.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrantrue.
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