Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Colin Kaepernick's NFL exclusion, Harvey Weinstein's sexual-favor casting system, and the Charlie's Angels reboot while debating the origins of homosexuality. They analyze Kristaps Porziņģis's Knicks struggles against Luka Dončić's Bird-like playstyle, critique Miles Garrett's helmet swing as potential assault, and weigh Kyrie Irving's impact versus Kemba Walker's energy. The episode concludes with tour announcements and ambitions to dominate their Patreon community. [Automatically generated summary]
It was the only class that I would get A's in because it wasn't personality-based.
Every other class is about your personality, your penmanship, all this kind of shit.
But math, I used to shit on my teacher before the test.
It was me and Carlos, this Dominican kid, right?
And before the test, we'd look the teacher in the eyes and be like, yo, I'm about to body your test.
Talking the most shit, going through the test, just going through the test, like 100.
We just yell out at the scores we were going to get.
Oh, man.
I was the complete fucking opposite.
You couldn't do math?
No, just like school in general.
Like, I was good in school.
Really?
Anything that had to do with like words?
Bro, you might be Sudanese or some other African, bro.
No, I was just like really good.
And like, people say I was a good bullshitter, but I was just really good with words.
You are a good bullshitter.
Alex Takes You to the Bottom00:02:31
I didn't see not one Cape Verdean out there.
Oh, fuck.
Alex taking you to the bottom.
We in Boston.
Last episode.
Last episode.
Was it Patreon?
I was wrong the whole time.
He didn't say shit to me as he walked in.
He was quiet the whole false act.
Yeah.
He was just holding on to this.
You really felt away on it.
Because it just connected.
He said, I've been full of bullshit.
And I'm like, you did bullshit.
I should have had me somewhere.
You look in the Patreon comments, looked at the Discord.
Look everywhere.
Kaz ripe with them Cape Verdeans.
Kaz said there's a lot of K Verdians in Boston.
So we were in Boston doing shows.
On the lowest of keys.
On the lowest.
Lowest, lowest, lowest of keys.
He kept saying lowest of keys.
Okay, he said low key.
There's tons, right?
Alex was asking every Indian, Pakistani, Portuguese.
Any 10.
Anybody 100 Cape Verdean.
Right?
Not a single Cape Verdean to be.
It's not a tan thing.
Did you go looking for Amber Rose?
No, no, shit.
I asked anybody.
Anybody who wasn't pale.
Okay.
He asked anybody who was in Pale.
He was all pale as fuck up there.
Gave you every spectrum of a chance.
You go to Lawrence.
I mean, you're in Boston.
You're with the white folks.
But you said they're in the business.
But yeah, but like when you're in Boston, I'm sure you're not going to be able to get it.
I know, right?
This ain't bullshit.
They make bullshit people.
They let him run New England, bro.
They're running to him.
Don't mean I was bullshit.
He's probably too busy looking for white bitches.
That's what I'm saying.
No, I was looking for the Cape Verdean, bro.
The one time he tries to not fuck a white bitch, you completely lie to him and railroad his whole shit.
Yep, and he's going to blame a black man like he always.
He's already blamed himself.
Already blamed himself on the inside.
Yo, so here's the thing.
We're driving up to Boston, right?
We first went to Connecticut to do the show in Norwalk.
That was shit.
Oh, that was a whole different thing.
But we shout to Emilio from New York Comedy Club and the Connecticut Comedy Festival.
Y'all should go check that out.
But we did this, the Norwalk, no, the Wall Street Theater, Norwalk, Connecticut.
Beautiful theater.
It was great.
So we decided to drive from Connecticut to Boston instead of either staying the night there or coming back.
Smart move.
And we got the Tesla.
Yeah, you do.
So, and by week, Alex got the Tesla, right?
You know, because of the generous employer.
But Alex got the Tesla, you know.
And now this is my first time in the Tesla on the highway, right?
Because on the Tesla on the highway, you could do autopilot.
It's called Autopilot Out?
Yeah.
You did that shit.
Okay.
When I tell you that we were passed out of sleep for minimum 30 minutes, all of us.
I'm terrified.
Driving from Connecticut to Boston00:13:26
Son.
That's terrifying, yo.
It is.
It was not terrifying until the next day when we ran into some orange cones, basically.
And then run into the cones.
Son, we are six inches away from the cones, and he takes it off all a pilot and scoots out the way.
Tesla wasn't going to get it out of the way.
We don't know that.
That's his excuse.
He's like, well, we should have hit him and then we find out.
I don't trust it.
So we could have been dead.
Y'all all asleep at the same time while she was driving?
Alex was snoring.
I have a video of Alex snoring while driving the car, right?
And then I was at the last time.
I was getting that video, bro.
And I had to get it.
I asked that millennial of you to be like, man, we might die.
Get out the camcorder.
Let's talk.
Like, let's die, bro.
Come on, bro.
This is a deep cut, yo.
Deep cut, yeah.
I thought she died of AIDS, though.
No, bro.
She died in the car.
She died because she got no AIDS.
This bitch just slid down the side of a cliff and ain't nobody come get her.
I thought she died of AIDS, bro.
Someone told me she was in the forest.
No, I know.
I confuse those little black rappers all the time, bro.
I get that mixed up.
That's our own little black rapper.
No, someone told me she was in the forest looking for AIDS medication.
Nah, nah, she was fucking with that doctor.
Dr. Sebi.
She's a big proponent of his or whatever.
And she's making a documentary.
You guys seen this, man?
Last days of left eye.
He's wild.
You've seen her.
You see the last moments she's alive.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, like shit fucking shot.
See, Dr. Sebi, it might be the greatest manipulator in history.
That motherfucker looked at people with AIDS and was like, yo, just eat carrots.
Yo, all you got to do is eat carrots, and then you're going to get rid of that AIDS.
All these gay dudes like, I've been eating carrots for so long.
No, but they probably weren't biting him.
They're probably just stuffing him in the left.
They're probably taking too long.
Over and over.
Oh, you don't.
You chewed a carrot?
I just be swallowing that joint.
I take it green part first.
Yo, Carrot is the only, only vegetable that got pubes.
That's why they love that shit.
Nah, turnips got pubes, right?
Pineapples, yo.
Pineapples and Kiwi's got pubes, though.
Pineapples, bro.
Kiwi's more of a pube than a pineapple.
I've been at this thought.
Like, imagine how hungry a motherfucker needed to be to eat a pineapple.
Yo, that's a wild thing.
The outside of a pineapple, this armor is straight.
Straight by cat's feet.
That's what cats feet look like, bro.
Nothing about this looks delicious at first glance.
But you cut that bitch open.
Oh, my God.
I was talking about pineapple.
It's like a pussy in a lot of ways.
Like the outside be looking crazy.
Tough stereotype.
But you get in there.
You gotta get in there.
This time is sweet.
You're not even worried about no unkempt fumes anymore.
You just enjoy the juiciness.
That's why it took us so long to get down there as men.
We were like, this ain't edible.
Son, the first dude to eat pussy, bro.
Yo, real talk.
When do you think pussy started getting eaten?
Because we didn't have running water until the running water.
My ducks was eating pussy.
Like out the river.
I had to take a picture.
You eat river water pussy?
You are eating river water pussy like in the Nile.
No, pussy.
Oh, sea sauce.
Son, just a little sushi.
Son, you gotta be crazy, bro.
They got the idea of sushi.
Honestly, this shit kind of slaps.
A little soy sauce, boy, that's good.
Yo, that's why sushi's always served in twos.
Just paint.
Oh, man.
No, but real talk, the bravery that human beings must have had.
Imagine that.
Tigris Euphrates.
Who's more scared?
Say what?
Who's more scared?
The first person to eat a pineapple, the first person to eat a pussy.
Wait, wait, the first person to eat a pineapple, the first person to eat a pussy.
Ooh, that's a single.
Who's the first?
Who's more scared?
Who's more?
Yo, I don't know about the first person.
Think about it.
Eat pussy.
First person to eat pussy is like, yo, I got to think about like your feelings now.
Because here's the thing.
You know, like, the first man wasn't caring about pleasing the woman.
They were just brand new.
Please do.
Yeah, like.
That's what I'm saying.
Yo, real talk.
Real talk.
We're talking history.
Yeah.
Asking is pretty goddamn use.
It's the right thing to do.
This is also a pretty recent phenomenon.
That shit is like Cole Wayne.
When we walk up into heaven, bro, when we go into heaven and we got our answers out there, like, you was asking permission for me.
Permission?
What?
That's what Black Panther's father should have said to his ass.
You know, the movie when the elders are up in the class?
They're like, fuck that pussy already, Black Panther.
What you in for?
Real talk ain't a lot of asking in the animal kingdom.
No, Pussy was bad.
Ain't a lot of first dates for lions, right?
It's a lot of meat too.
They always say it was a ticket.
The ticket always says that there's so much meat too in the animal kingdom.
There's no fucking son.
Nature is mad sexist.
That's really not on us.
Like, we get a lot of pressure for that kind of shit.
But if you see how animals are, bro, except for birds.
Like, birds are pussy, bro.
Birds are mad pussies.
Oh, feminist ass.
They really have one mate for your whole life.
Nah, but birds do that thing.
Justin was talking about.
What is it called?
Fucking fucking.
No, oh, scissoring?
Not scissoring.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's because they ain't got hands.
That's their hands, is their mouth.
What do you think they're going to do?
They're going to take their wing and grab some peanuts under their wing and fly one hand.
They got little clawy things.
They can't just drop it in.
I never even thought about that.
You could just use your claws.
Yeah, like they can't just fucking fly over.
No, but the baby don't got the teeth to chew it, I don't think.
Well, that's why birds got teeth.
Babies need Gerber, right?
Like human babies need Gerber.
You gotta match it up.
I think baby.
But that's because they don't have teeth, human babies, but no birds have teeth.
They just have a beak.
Nah, birds got teeth, right?
Like ducks got teeth.
Ducks got no teeth.
Ducks get teeth, Acrops.
Look that up.
I don't want to go against Akhos because ducks have teeth, did you just say?
Look that up.
Donald Duck don't even have teeth.
That's not teeth.
Those are teeth.
That's not teeth.
How the fuck are those not teeth?
Son.
That's not teeth.
See mad crackheads with that.
They got teeth.
That's not teeth.
Yo, I'm not gonna lie.
They got four rows of teeth.
Nah, that's teeth, bro.
They even got teeth on the tongue.
Teeth on the teeth.
And I'll be honest, I didn't even know that.
I did not know that.
Is that a duck?
That's a duck.
This is fucking terrifying.
Is that a duck?
I had no idea.
Apparently, those shits are sharp.
Take that shit out of here, baby.
That's crazy.
Apparently, a duck can bite you and fuck you up.
Apparently, they're sharp.
Yeah.
Yo, if you get fucked up, they love fucking up, bro.
Yo, you got to move.
You got to move neighborhoods, bro.
You heard Sam got fucked up by a duck?
You in the hospital laid up an ICU?
Like, what took you out, man?
Daffy took a chop out of me.
Anyway, wait, what were we talking about?
We were talking about taking pussy, taking away.
Oh, what happened for who was more scared?
Oh, who was more scared?
First person to eat a pineapple, first person.
Oh, it's got to be pussy because think about all the things that you're going through with pussy, right?
Like, one, they don't know that the menstrual cycle is like tied to like the moon, right?
We're talking about primitive man.
Yeah.
So you're just seeing these bitches bleed out their pussy once a month.
Words.
Right?
So it's like for days and low-key, you probably, like, you're probably just thinking, like, damn, yo, Ralph fucked her up.
Ralph got the hammer.
Like, matter of fact, you probably didn't think you fucked your girl good.
Remind me not to challenge Ralph for supremacy.
I got it.
That motherfucker gets harped.
When your freshman soul walks out, sees Barney Rumbles.
Like, damn, Barney, fuck you.
But you've been looking at Ralph's soft dick the rest of the day.
Like, hey, I guess he's a grower.
Because when he's soft, he's regular.
When we out hunting, this dick ain't dragging across the grass and nothing like that.
It's just regular Ralph dick.
But to play devil's advocate, a pussy can persuade you.
A pineapple just sitting there like.
No, but here's what I'm saying, though.
Pineapple, I'm sure at that point we had realized sometimes there's food inside of shit.
Like coconuts, pineapple, other fruit that you got to peel.
Fam, coconuts different because coconut falls and opens by accident.
And then you're like, yeah, but that's like that probably happened first.
That's when it's probably other fruit that you're like, yo, you peel this shit open on the inside.
Okay, screw.
So you're like, so now you're looking at a pineapple, like, what if?
If some shit's in a coconut, some shit could be inside.
Oh, my God.
This is kind of like, I think who said it.
This is like the fucking first guy.
Ain't nobody looking at a pussy, like, what if?
Yo, it tastes delicious in there.
The first person who went down probably was castrated and did it out of desperation because they don't got nothing else.
Probably.
Son, ain't no girl fucking a castrated dude back in the day.
Son.
If you castrated, you was whack.
Someone's like, it's like a horse with a broken leg.
It's like, all right, this man is useless.
Yo, shoot him in the head.
What about the dude in Game of Thrones?
Took him out back.
The dude in Game of Thrones.
He was still.
Yo, we're talking before religion.
Very wasn't getting no pussy.
No, the other dude.
No, Varus was.
We're talking about the dawn of man.
One, he was like, we're talking before clothes.
We're talking back in the day.
We're talking caveman type shit, like barely organized society.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, all your pussies covered fire a week ago.
I think Egyptians were probably in pussy.
Oh, I thought that was like, I thought that was what the Renaissance was.
The Renaissance?
Yeah.
That's what they did.
The Renaissance got nothing to do with the art.
It was just dudes out here licking boxes.
Yo, other guys are like, yo, you'll never believe this shit, bro.
Maybe that's why.
The first money, like, who gives me a fucking fucking shit?
That's why DaVinci kept inventing wings and shit.
He was like, fly me the fuck out of here.
I ain't no more goddamn pussy.
That Vitruvian man, or whatever that is, what is that thing called?
What are they called?
No, no, it's what he's doing.
He's a Vitruvian.
I don't know.
But that sketch of the guy with his arms out.
I was just his lazy ass wife on a bed waiting to get some pussy.
You see what I got to come home to every night, fellas?
This shit right here.
This bitch in a perfect circle.
Real talk, bro.
That eating pussy shit, man.
What about the first guy who ate ass?
No, Yeah, but that's documented, though.
I know it's documented, but like, this is another thing.
Eating ass can't be that old.
Wait, how's that documented?
Eating ass started in the 90s.
Eating ass gotta be.
No, no, no.
That was the first time I saw an ass.
First human being to eat.
Ow, Eat up.
Ow, ow, shit.
That's the first guy.
I gotta get a lot of credit, yo.
Stop it, stop.
Stop it.
Stop.
He's a great best.
It was the first time I could see him.
Wow.
Stop it.
No, I gotta reward that sentence.
You heard the sentence?
I heard the sentence.
Great sentence.
Stop it word.
The eating ass.
Listen, gay guys have been doing that shit for forever.
That's the thing.
When did straight start doing it?
I don't know.
But we have to acknowledge the role of fucking plumbing in all this.
Like, in terms of exploring your sexuality.
Yes.
Plumbing.
You know?
Because there are countries right now that they shouldn't be eating pussy or eating ass.
Real talk.
Yeah.
Like.
That's a healthy.
That's a health hazard.
You out there in Mozambique?
Son.
Son.
Eating ass?
Son.
Son.
Desert ass.
You running with zebras and shit all day.
And then you're like, I think I'm going to eat some ass.
You got to be crazy.
No plumbing, no toilets like that.
Son.
Yikes.
Low-keto.
That ass might be cleaner because they don't have enough food to shit.
That is true.
They're probably not.
Awesome.
They all got totally.
They're not eating.
That ass clean, bro.
You don't ain't got no preservatives in their diet.
They got nothing to preserve.
Because there's nothing to preserve.
They die.
They be speaking.
They know you have to die.
You got 20, 25 years max.
Fruits and berries.
Ass probably used to be a little bit more.
Because they got no toilet paper.
They also be washing their asses.
So it could be a cleaner ass.
Third world ass could be cleaner.
Third world ass is first world asshole.
This is first ass is first world asshole.
What does that mean?
I miss it.
If you're in a third world country, you in a third world, but that asshole clean.
Like the asshole's cleaner.
First world asshole could be cleaner.
It's like Whole Foods ass.
And they're not white people.
They're not even using toilet paper.
They're using like cloths and shit.
They're like water, bro.
No, but they're also using some cloths that they wash.
They're using stuff that is biodegradable.
It's not just right back to the earth.
Son, maybe they use hand.
I thought it just water.
It might stick a little bit.
You went to Minnesota, right?
You hung out with, what's his name?
Abdi.
And he took you to the Ethiopian spot or whatever.
If you use a restroom, they all got the fucking bucket that you fill up with water and then pour it.
It looks like something you garden plants with.
And you somehow clean your ass with that after you wipe.
That's disgusting.
That's what they be doing, though.
You need to keep that shit in Somalia, bro.
Kaz, I'm sorry.
This is the lie.
Somalia.
I say Ethiopian.
But isn't it crazy that third world asshole is cleaner than Kaz's?
Why is that?
Why you don't look like that?
NFL Collusion and Video Rights00:15:04
Remember with the Patreon?
With the way he works.
Oh, you went back forward?
No.
No, he only wipes.
I just wipe him drop.
I don't look back.
Like, once I feel it's drama, I'm like, all right.
You had a whole 20-minute conversation.
Did you forget that?
I blocked it out.
Yeah.
Most people moved on with me.
I do, Alex.
Most people listen to it.
I was like, oh, okay.
I apologize.
You didn't advance, though.
You decided to bring something up from the past, right?
And make it present again.
I pussied.
I pussied it out.
Yo, just get this fucking safe energy, bro.
I still got...
Just keep the same energy.
I play this revenge game so good.
I'm so patient.
I'm like a monk.
I love you, Kevin.
I got you.
It's going to be great.
Black love.
Don't black love me now, motherfucker.
It's flagrant, though.
Yeah, hey, man.
Hey, white people are right.
If you just let them do their own thing, they'll kill each other.
We figured this shit out years ago.
I'm like, I'm like, oh, you just found out?
God damn.
This week it was rough.
That's what the NFL said.
They were like, just give him a fucking try and he'll fuck it up.
Yeah, bitch.
Just give it to him.
He'll find a way.
He will find a way to fuck it up.
Not even him.
Isn't it crazy that the black leader right now, like the guy fighting for equality and fighting for justice and fighting for sacrifice and all those things?
Was put there by two white people.
Oh, adopted?
Yeah.
We're everywhere, baby.
I would say so, yes.
I think you're there's a leaderboard.
Yes, I think you guys are in the lead.
I don't think anyone disputes that.
That's why white people got to be careful with that guilt shit.
Exactly.
Overthrowing yourselves.
Nah, fuck him out.
So, all right.
Do we want to talk about this cap shit in a non-serious way, please?
I really want to talk about it.
I mean, for those who.
You know what?
You know what?
Fuck Cap for taking all the shine away from Lamar Jackson.
Like, just back off.
You got two black quarterbacks that are going to be MVP this year.
At least two that are going for MVP.
Top four is all black.
Top four is all the quarterbacks.
It's the greatest time in history for black quarterbacks.
And then you got to make this whole fucking, this whole song and dance about the tryout.
And I want to bring my receivers.
And to be fair, the NFL did give them all white receivers, which I thought was a little biased.
But you have to do this whole thing in a high school and you don't want to do it.
It's like right now, you could either go for it and do the thing that the NFL had asked to do and prove that you're great and let them put out whatever videos you want along with your videos.
Or you could do the PR stunt, which I think there's many levels to this.
There's many levels because I heard, well, go, go.
I think it was a PR stunt on all accounts.
Like, I think it was just a colossal fuck up on the NFL, on Kaepernick's side.
Like, literally everybody involved.
The only people, and in the long run, in the most fucked up way, the only people who truly won was the NFL.
They got what they wanted.
This dude is never going to be back in the league.
He's never going to be back in the league.
They got him once.
Break down what happened.
Or we don't even break down what happened.
Let's just pick it up from the beginning of this year.
Once Kaepernick signed that collusion agreement, pretty much saying, like, you know, yes, we'll pay you this amount of money, but you can't say this.
You got to say that to NDA, whatever.
I think all hope of him ever being on the team should have been lost right then and there.
Because it's like, no matter what, you won that battle, but the NFL is eventually going to win the war if you want to work for them again.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's not going to, they're not just going to, you could work with them even if they fuck with you.
Yeah.
You can work with the NFL.
You're not going to make them all fuckers bow twice.
You're not going to make them kiss your ass two times.
Right.
They already took their L in the beginning of the year.
Right.
So once the NFL just all of a sudden is like, oh, Saturday, we're doing this workout.
No, we can't change it.
No, we can't be on a Tuesday.
You have reason to believe shit's going to be fishy, right?
So after that, once you're doing the, once everything's set up and you got the 25 teams there, the NFL, which they smartly did, was like, yo, we're going to put, we're going to give you every single opportunity to get you on the team.
We're going to leak the news.
We're going to put on ESPN.
We're going to have Stephen A talk about it.
Say, hey, if he does what's done, if he plays the game, he'll be on the team in two weeks.
Don't think that was not planned.
Don't think that was just somebody.
Oh, I just heard like somebody who knew some shit was like, yo, we're going to get him to sign this shit.
Because if shit goes wrong, he doesn't get signed, whatever, if he just plays the rest of these games and doesn't come back.
We don't want to take another L.
That being said, Cap's team is also smart.
They saw that provision in the contract.
What was the provision?
Do you understand?
So the prison.
I don't understand that.
Usually, for most, you know, combines.
It's a liability waiver.
Yeah, you signed up.
They added something to the liability waiver that a demonified, I think the term is.
Yeah, so basically, it's the same thing any NFL player will sue.
He basically, no, no, no.
Allegedly, and we don't know if this is true, but this is what Capside is saying: is that they added something to the liability waiver.
That is true.
That said that Cap couldn't sue the NFL for a conspiracy to not hire him.
Yeah, if he got injured at the facility, if he stunk it up at the workout and no team signs him, he can't say, oh, they didn't sign me because ABCD or whatever.
All this shit.
I thought it also said that he can't sue him for past stuff as well.
Anything from the end of the collusion to now.
The end of the collusion settlement to now.
So anything from February this year to Saturday, anything that happened in between that he couldn't do.
That's reasonable.
That's completely reasonable.
But you can understand why he didn't trust him when it came to the...
Well, you got to give away sued.
Like, what can you sue for once you've already sued and won?
Well, there was a lot of things.
But if you're Kaepernick, you're like, there are two things.
There were two things, right?
There were two things that he was suing for.
One, he got paid for, and another thing that was still unsettled.
I don't think he got paid for the collusion to keep him out of the league.
I think there was something else that he got paid for.
I think he did.
I thought they settled on all that.
They just settled.
And that's why I thought he wouldn't play again.
But if you're Kaepernick, like, you totally understand why.
Hey, you know what?
Nobody knows.
And you know why nobody knows?
Because Kaepernick won't do a single fucking interview.
This is your fault.
You know, I'm pro cap and I really want to see him.
We've all been pro-cap.
We all want him to get an opportunity.
But you're fucking up yourself by not talking.
Go fucking talk.
Tell us what you want.
Tell us what the problems are.
Tell us how we can make things better.
You talk all this shit like you want the media there and the media needs to be important and the media is important to you, but you've never interviewed a single interview with him.
That's the only thing I think he kind of fucked up on.
Like, I didn't have a problem with him doing the workout, the high school, and I had a problem with all that shit.
But guarantee the same people the access you were going to guarantee to the NFL.
Like, if these motherfuckers want to interview you, they want to see where your head's at.
Don't just make a statement and dip.
You know what I mean?
Like, if you really are serious about playing in the NFL, and that's why I'm thinking, like, okay, like, maybe he's not serious about NFL.
Don't threaten.
And he shouldn't want to.
He wasn't threatening.
He had the Kunta Kinte t-shirt on.
But he should have.
He's like, they've been keeping me out of the league.
Don't be scared.
Go tell your owner.
It's like, bro, this is the golden platter.
This is the opportunity.
And if you play well, at bare minimum, it proves collusion.
Yeah.
If you play well, that's where he got the win.
And everybody sees that you play well, it proves that they're not picking you up for that reason.
You gave them an excuse to not give you up with your attitude and politicizing the whole event.
But that's where he got his win, though.
By streaming the workout, he proved anybody with two eyes knows like, okay, this motherfucker should be on the roster.
It's not like...
Did he?
Yes.
I've only seen one deep throw, and it's a great deep throw, but it's also one deep throw, no pads, fly route.
And it's perfectly thrown.
But that's the only highlight I'm seeing cut up.
Like, why isn't this guy on our team?
But I watched the whole workout.
I was home.
I saw the link go up.
Whatever.
I was like, fuck it.
I'm going to watch this shit.
He looked like he looked exactly how he looked before he left.
Like, the accuracy isn't crazy, but does he have a cannon?
Does he have strength?
Can he move?
He looked a little bigger, like a little stronger.
Like, he's got a little deep throw.
The only throw I've seen.
And that one was.
His deep passes weren't super accurate, but the ones out there circulating are the ones that looked really good.
His thing was...
That's not good.
I think one of the, yeah, like he had the slow.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, the deep routes weren't that big.
That's potentially complete.
That's fine.
It's a good throw.
But the thing was, I think what he was worried about was if he signs over all the rest of the throw.
This is a perfect throw.
Yeah, that's a perfect throw.
Yeah, that's a dime.
But he didn't want the NFL to see footage and be like, and just cut up all his worst shit and send that to everybody.
Which is smart.
Which is smart.
But the more he's worried about it, it's like, yo, there's just way too much distrust on either side.
He shouldn't want to play in the NFL.
The NFL has every right to not want him in the NFL.
They're both just too far gone at this point.
If a team picks him up, I'd be happy about it.
I don't see it happening.
But it's just like, too much shit has happened in the past three years.
I mean, look, I've never played quarterback.
I've never done it in high school.
I mean, a little in like college, like intermural type shit.
Throwing a wide open bomb is not the whole thing.
That's what I'm saying.
Johnny Manzel's pro day was fantastic.
And I'm not, Johnny Manzel got drafted, so I guess you could say so should Cap get signed.
But Johnny Manzel flamed out.
And I liked Johnny Manzel.
He had a fucking terrible, like, he had a great pro day.
Teddy Bridgewater had a not-so-great pro day.
He's pretty good.
So, like, these don't tell you shit.
It's no line coming at you.
No pads.
You're just running a fly route.
That's all I'm seeing.
1,000% agree.
I want 1,000% agree.
How easy, for example, how easy is throwing that fly route?
Is it akin to just shooting an NBA three?
No, I mean, like, you don't want, like, if you got a fast receiver, you don't want him to slow down.
He's getting it in stride.
He had one guy in stride.
The other two, he didn't really hit in stride.
Well, I guess two out of the three kind of.
Just real quick.
And that's the footage he chose to share.
Yeah.
And that's.
If the footage you chose to share is one where a guy had to do like almost a 360 to catch the pass.
Yeah.
And another one that was decent.
And then the bomb.
Like, those are the only three that you could pick out from the whole backup.
That stream isn't like what he put out.
That was the local NBC channel.
So all this shit was out there for everybody.
That was his only thing.
And I think his whole point, I honestly don't think he was trying to get the pressure.
When he says, I want transparency, that's what he means.
Yeah, exactly.
I think the only thing was he wants to show people like, hey, I'm not in the league.
It's not because of my ability.
I think that's the only thing he was trying to prove.
I really don't think he was trying to get on that.
It hasn't been proven to me that he has ability from that right there.
You just threw a wide open straight pass.
No workout with that.
That's one pass.
He was throwing the ball for 40 minutes.
But it's hard to say that from any pro day.
That's kind of my point.
This wasn't going to show us much.
One thing you could say, and even the pro-cap people showing up, I would have been like, yo, back up.
Because the point for a lot of people that I do think it's like a collusion thing or whatever, but you can also say, look, he's good.
He's just not good enough for that sideshow that he brings.
Same thing they said about Tim Tebow.
He's a better quarterback than Tebow, but Tebow wasn't remotely controversial.
He just brings a lot of fucking attention.
It's just not worth it.
And I love Tebow.
I think Tebow won, and that's all that mattered.
But yo, it's a lot of fucking attention.
And that's logically the one thing you can't say, ah, no, fuck you.
So if I'm Kaepernick, I tell my pro-capital people, yo, just don't.
I appreciate that shit.
Watch the stream.
And he's also just...
If you want to play, but if you don't want to play.
Can I ask a question?
So I haven't been keeping up at all with this.
We were away, and I didn't like.
And for anybody maybe who doesn't understand who's listening, what was the whole thing?
Like, the NFL wanted him to do these drills at their field, and then he wanted to do it on the field.
Kaz will say it better than me, but they had this facility, this time.
We're going to give you the receivers.
And they weren't giving him any real information that he could use.
Like, you're not going to know who your receivers are until you get there.
And that's like, if I have my receivers, I know their speed.
I know their timing.
I can throw a better deep ball.
If I don't know how fast you are and I throw a deep ball, I don't know if I'm hitting you in stride.
I could easily out throw you.
And that's fucked up on the NFL's part.
But also, he didn't handle it.
Real quick, the facility that they were going to use was the Atlanta Falcons facility.
So it's not like they were giving him some bullshit.
It was a state-of-the-art facility, and they were going to give him some receivers.
Now, keep this in mind.
If the NFL walks out there with four of the worst receivers in history, who does that look bad for?
Cap or the NFL?
It already looks bad.
It looks bad because they have it on a Saturday.
No, no, no.
That was his whole hang-up.
This whole hangup was like, why is it on a Tuesday when any real decision makers could be here to make a deal?
Like, the only people who are setting on a Saturday is like the third or fourth rung people.
Granted, this has never been done in the history of the NFL.
They've never had a team-wide NFL sanctioned.
We're going to have this workout for one guy unless it's like the draft combine or any of those rookie things.
That's the only time they do this.
They're doing this specifically for you.
So as fucked up as it may seem on the inside, it's still an opportunity.
Like it's still an opportunity to go there and show out and run the risk because the NFL wants this to go the way too.
They would love to just put them on the team just so we don't have to talk about this.
So to clarify, for example, Atlanta Falcons Stadium, he says he doesn't want to do it there.
He holds it at a high school.
That's why there are these two different situations.
So he holds it himself.
Himself in high school, eight teams show up.
He would have had 25 teams at the Atlanta Falcons one.
So already, now he believes that he has reasons why he should do it.
I think Kaz touched on this earlier is there's too much distrust between the NFL and CAP and CAP and the NFL.
So Cap wants to control his narrative, which I understand.
We talk about controlling narratives all the time.
Absolutely.
That being said, if you want to play for the organization, you have to prove that you're willing to do what the organization wants because that's what happens when you have a job.
When you have a job, you submit to the desires of the job.
For example, if I say, hey, Kaz, I'd love to work for you.
And you say to me, well, in order to work for me, you got to come in at 10 a.m. Monday through Friday.
I go, yes, sir, I'd love to come in at 10 a.m. because that's what I'm coming up to.
When you go on the job interview, when you say, hey, can you come on Friday for the job interview?
And then you go, no, I will hold my own job interview on Sunday in a different location.
What the fuck is an employer supposed to say?
Any other job, they'd be like, well, suck my dick.
I don't need you working for me.
And granted, I understand that completely.
The only thing is Cap is they both have their own agendas.
Of course, it's just distrust.
And the distrust is warranted because it clearly colluded to keep him out of the fucking league.
Exactly.
But like you're saying earlier, because there's so much distrust, you got to go your separate ways.
Merit-Based Casting and Distrust00:14:49
You got to.
Don't even do the whole PR rigma role.
At this point, you got to go your separate ways because it's like, dog, no matter what, they're not going to, it's not going to.
So what's the perfect end game for him?
Like, you become the GM of the Niners?
You become the GM of the Jets?
Because that's basically what you're saying.
You're going to tell the dude that, like, you're basically strip everything aside.
You think it's a meritocracy.
It's not.
At the end of the day, you're asking these guys for a paycheck.
If you're going to ask these guys for a paycheck, which is why Eric Reed was getting his shit, like he had his points, but it's like, yo, at the end of the day, you're suiting up for these motherfuckers.
You're getting a check from them.
Like, you make all the points in the world.
And then, granted, I agree on almost all of them.
At the end of the day, those are your employers.
You need that check.
100%.
And your merit is based on more than your skill.
We know that there's a lot of quarterbacks that are in this league right now who have merit outside of just quarterback and skill, right?
You were telling me about that guy who's great at watching film, Brian Hoyer or something like that.
And like he's elite at watching film.
So he offers merit to a team outside of just being able to catch guys on little fly routes, et cetera.
He provides value.
Some people in the NBA, Jawan Howard, played till he's 70 years old, practically, just because he's a great locker room guy, right?
So if you're coming to a team and let's say you have all the merit in terms of skill like Cap might have, but the show, like you were talking right there, reduces from your overall merit, that is a concern.
Yeah, you, and team chemistry is a fragile thing.
And it's like, look, if I think this guy's going to be divisive in the locker room, even if he's good, I don't want to bring him in.
Because I'm the number one guy saying that about the thing.
Every O-line, whoever, every O-line voted for Trump.
Let's be honest, right?
Every O-line in the NFL voted for Trump, right?
Did they do blocking for Cap?
Do you think they're going to take a knee?
That's what they're going to do.
They offer them a whole lot.
The second he said, Hike, they're going to take it.
I thought we'd take a niche.
He plays a hard position to gain trust for.
Like, you see that video with Dwayne Haskins during the Giant, was it Jets they were playing?
And he comes to his O-line.
He's like, yo, what do I need to do to help you guys?
I think they were getting blown out by the Jets.
He's like, what can I do to help you?
And the O-line just look at him like, he's a rookie.
He's played like, he started maybe like one and a half games already.
Yeah.
They all just look at him like, this motherfucker.
And just continue to go to talk about whatever the hell they were talking about.
Those motherfuckers got to trust you.
They don't like, if Cap goes to a team where the defensive tackle of the center and the, I don't know, the right tackle.
Yeah, yeah.
And like elementary, just don't fuck with what you believe in.
Yeah.
They might not block for you.
Like, they might put you in a position where you got hurt.
Somebody might pay this motherfucker off.
Like, all right, fuck it.
We're going to sign up.
O-line is the policeman of the team.
Yes.
And Cap does not like policemen.
Okay?
It's just very, this is mathematics.
It's mad possible that somebody's going to be like, man, yo, first game, first fucking play, just let this motherfucker through.
Fuck it.
Whatever.
Like, that shit happens to people that they do like.
Like, what happens to quarterbacks that are actually good?
Like, yo, fuck it, man.
Like, I've seen that's where Cap needs to connect with the opposing linebackers and be like, do you support a black man or do you sack one?
Like, he needs to really manipulate.
I thought you were staying with me, bro.
That's kind of a big reason why I wanted to see him in the league.
I wanted to see who to really like crack him.
Like, for fun, I would love to see him.
And I'd love to see if he's still good.
I also don't know.
And I guess it didn't cross my mind that he just actually doesn't want to play.
Because on the way up here, I was like, why does he want to play?
You're going to be a backup quarterback.
Nobody's going to sign you off rip as a starter.
You're going to make a million a year, which is not nothing.
He's going to make 10 million backup quarterbacks.
He wasn't going to get that money.
You'll get a small money.
It's not 10 million.
That's a huge contract for a backup quarterback.
That's huge.
You're going to get a couple million a year, maybe, but you already got a settlement.
You're already good with money.
You don't seem like a guy who spends on.
He's still paying you.
You still got Nike money.
You're just going to go out there and practice every day and risk CTE.
You're a fucking hero right now.
You are running this Huey P. Newton.
That's what everybody calls him.
He's our Huey.
Be Huey.
I mean, chill.
There's a much longer lifespan and life cycle than doing that than just kids.
Huey P. Newton got a much Colin Kaepernick off the field got a much better legacy than Colin Kaepernick on the field.
On the field, he had a couple of fucking amazing years and then kind of fizzled it out.
He didn't bomb.
He didn't suck, but he just became kind of an average quarterback.
Who's Huey P. Newton?
Leader of the Black Panthers, right?
Back in the 70s or 60s?
Yeah.
One of the founders.
Yeah, one of the fuckers.
One of the founders, okay.
So what was his relation to T'Chala?
How did he discover Vibranians?
I know there was.
He discovered Vibranium.
Oh, he discovered Vibranium.
Damn.
He started this thing, too.
He did.
That's a real American assistant.
He was like, yo, Wakanda.
They were just kind of like, I fucks with Wakanda.
And he's like, no, this shit is forever.
And then he threw this out.
You know what?
This kind of hot.
Damn, Huey.
He knows about branding.
This guy's the man.
I need to look him up.
Oh, he's a guru guy, bro.
All right.
All right.
We're off this cap shit.
Thank God.
I think we hopefully manage to have a little fun with it and educate the masses, if you will.
Did we even get through Flagrant Thoughts?
Did you have a Flagrant Thai?
No, we didn't do Flagrant Thoughts.
I thought you had a Flagrant Thought.
Oh, I had a Flagrant Thought that was part of the Full Sack.
Okay.
Okay, go.
What did you do yours?
Yeah, I think it was part of the Full Sack, wasn't it?
Okay.
Maybe.
So you ever watch movies in the 90s?
Disney Plus is back.
You're seeing these movies with the 90s.
And they got these movies with these hot girls.
And now I'm watching these movies like, yo, how many dicks did this girl suck to get this role?
Yeah.
And now I'm thinking the quality of hot women is just going to drop dramatically now that these people seem like these bitches on merit.
You know what I mean?
It's going to be a sad day for hot women in movies.
Jesus Christ.
Dude, there's a.
Don't anybody want to look at meritocracy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a, what's it called?
The Harvey Weinstein guy.
Harvey Weinstein?
Yeah.
The Harvey Weinstein guy.
No, no, there's a.
Dude, I don't know if I ever did this on.
I remember doing it on stage a little bit, but like, I don't know if I talk to you guys about this here, but like how he was like the Bill Belichick of movie producers.
Yeah.
Like, like that, like, you know, most directors and shit are looking for like an actress that trained at Juilliard and she had experience doing soap operas and movies abroad and on stage plays.
And Weinstein was just like, who's sucking dick?
And he all sucking dick.
Jesus Christ.
He just needs someone to fucking.
True talent.
True talent.
He got a system and he just needs players that fit the system.
He knows the system.
You're getting the Oscar.
You're getting the trophy at the end of the year.
You just need to suck the dick.
It's simple.
Wasn't everybody happier?
This dude was delivering Oscars, dude.
It's like, first round pick, I don't need those.
Give me some rig.
I'll trade back to the sixth.
Literally, what did Belichick do, right?
Belichick was like, I need a receiver.
And they're like, do you want like a 6'5 black guy with like amazing vertical leap?
He's like, no, you got any juice?
Give it us a cross-play motherfucker over here.
I can send him to a wide receiver.
You gotta play quarterback.
Got him.
Give it to me.
Julian Edelman never played receiver in his life.
Even forget that.
Edelman.
Hernandez.
Yeah.
Right.
Hogan.
Fucking Gronk.
Kowski.
Who are these people?
Wes Welker was nobody.
Welcome.
Another one.
Jesus Christ.
The only black wide receiver to...
Josh Gordon, gone.
The only black wide receiver.
Randy.
Fucking Flourish is the greatest of all time.
All time.
Randy.
He's the only one.
You couldn't stop that monster.
Harvey Weinstein traded his first.
He's like, I'll give you my first round pick for a sixth and a blowjob.
And he won, yo.
And he won, bro.
And every year, you're like, oh, no, he does it.
He was always in the mix.
We got to look at the girls that he put in movies to see if they were like noticeably less fine.
Like, he's trying to throw the sense off.
Like, he'll fuck it.
Nah, nah, that he was, like, literally, he was giving opportunities to like less beautiful girls.
No, I think he was just about, I think, I think a lot of them would have sucked dick.
And he was like, let me get the baddest bitches to give me blowjobs and I'll put them in movies and we'll make money.
He probably started with.
Yo, he worked for Miramax.
That's a startup, man.
You got to do what you got to do to survive at a startup.
You know what I mean?
Low-budget indie films.
Son.
Let me tell you, he was putting the ND.
Yo, there's a...
You heard about the Charlie's Angels bullshit?
Bro, this is so funny.
So there's a new Charlie's Angels movie that comes out.
Didn't even know.
Didn't know about it.
I had no fucking clue.
They spent $60 million making the movie.
They probably spent another $80 million promoting it.
It makes $8 million, just $8 million its first weekend.
And Elizabeth Banks is the one who wrote it and directed it, the actress.
She goes, it's a shame that men don't support female action movies.
And I mean, first of all, so many funny things about this.
It's like, first of all, why do men have to support it?
Like, make your movie for women.
You should be upset.
Women haven't supported.
Like, Fast and Furious is not for women.
We go out and support it.
It makes millions and fucking billions.
Every Marvel movie, men go out and support it.
It makes a billion dollars.
Everybody's happy.
Women don't like action movies, and that's fine.
But you made a Charlie's Angel movie, which men supported back in the day, not for the fucking action sequences, because you had three fine-ass bitches in it, and there was no Instagram or no Hooters where we could go look at these girls.
And finally, we had movies where like, okay, they're going to look hot, and then we got to watch them do some cartwheels, whatever the fuck we're going to do, and then eventually we're going to see them look hot again.
Here they always got a bitch doing cartwheels and action movies, right?
There's always like a laser scene, and they're just like, oh, how are we going to get through this laser?
He's getting junior moves, that's all they do.
And they're shooting you at their pom-poms or whatever the fuck.
They're doing that.
Hooray, hurrah.
Calling everything.
Don't support women, bro.
They support Beyonce.
Here's the thing.
They try to do a movie without Beyonce.
You can't do that.
Charlie's Angels.
If you look at the three chicks that they chose for Charlie's Angels, these three bulldykes, right?
There's no fucking movie.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Go to that image right there.
This girl's like 6'8.
How tall is it?
Son, they got Candace Parker.
She's fine.
They got...
Yeah, I don't know who she is, but she looks good.
Listen, no.
I'm other two in the end.
I don't know.
Look at this one right here, even.
Who's this girl?
Kristen Stewart?
I never thought this bitch is cute ever.
Blow it up so I know the name.
Kristen?
Kristen?
It's Kristen Stewart.
She looks like one of the guys from One Direction.
Straight up.
This girl right here is, she's a very pretty girl, but whatever.
And then she looks like gay Hermione, you know?
I have no idea who these other two are, but I knew the Twilight bitch.
And she is tall.
Yeah.
She's like, 'Three?' Jeez.
Point is, you're looking at this, right?
Nothing about this looks like a movie to me.
This looks like a shitty cable show.
Go back to this right here.
They should have just went with Jeter's old work.
Boom.
We all would have showed up.
Yo, real tough.
Yeah.
Look how shitty that picture is, too.
That looks mad bootleg.
That don't look like a multi-million dollar movie set.
That looks like an Instagram picture.
Oh, you mean to tell me?
And the fucked up shit is like, they're like, yo, we have 43 Spider-Man movies.
First off, every Marvel movie, every act, like, you can't go from watching fucking Thanos destroy the entire planet and see an empty fucking street.
Okay, so go back.
Stay on the bottom.
How does this compare to fucking movies?
Hold on.
So go back to the other image now, Eden.
Go show the other one.
The last Charlie's Andrews movie did $260 million.
It was a reboot.
Same three chicks.
And you know who they had?
A fine-ass Asian bitch, a fine-ass white bitch, and a fine-ass lesbian.
I don't know what Drew Barrymore is, but she's in a motherfuckers love Drew Barrymore.
She's a copy.
We don't know who the fuck she was.
She was there for the blacks.
Thick white girl.
Right?
Motherfuckers knew who she was, though.
She was a star.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
You put her on her.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Thick white girl in there.
Hold on.
So this right here.
So this right here, you have something that men are going to go see.
Okay?
That's all we want.
We want hot chicks.
Back in the day, now I don't think we'll go to movies just because hot chicks because we can access them so much more.
But these are three, or at least two, very attractive women, right?
You can almost fetishize them a little bit, right?
The blonde, blue-eyed chick, the Asian girl, and again, whatever Drew Barrymore brings to the table.
I'm not really sure what she brings to the table.
I've never truly understood Drew Barrymore in my life and why we're into it.
I'm not sure.
Do you know?
She's never been attracted to that.
Drew Barrymore is the pineapple of women.
How did we get into that?
Well, this just rolls up and everyone was like, oh, she's sexy?
I'm like, what?
What are we a pineapple?
She was like, dope moves to Adam Sandler's The Love Entrance?
I'm like, you sure, Adam?
Like, this is.
You were $500 million.
That's a merit-based casting right there.
Son, this is...
Sarah Fawcett, come on, son.
That's a small time bad line.
Sarah Fawcett.
Come on, man.
This is, and this is, I don't know, 70s, 90s.
I don't know how the fuck this is.
Look at that.
Look at these fucking three white women.
I honestly do believe social media plays a huge part.
Because I remember when I used to see movies, back in the day, they would have like the little ratings on the bottom.
And underneath that, they'll be like, violence, drug use, subnudity.
If I've seen sub nudity and I'm 13 years old, I'm watching that shit immediately.
But now you're going to see that shit on your phone all the time.
Like, I'll need to.
Yeah, like, there's no thirst for me to see that shit.
God damn.
That's why Hooters sucks now.
Hooters and a bunch of fat girls in it, right?
And one It's the only people the sneakers fit.
Maybe wearing them fat girl sneakers.
You know, that chunky ass fucking skechers, bro.
And big ass white sneakers walking around in white fucking chalkboard erasers.
But all these girls are on Instagram now.
They were going to sell chicken wings.
They selling fit teeth.
But this is the only time you would see these bitches.
Now go to these girls.
One of those girls.
Akash, you'd have had the joke about you're tired of the female action movies.
Yes, 100%.
She looks like your girl, Lily Singh, bro, but like taller and better.
Ooh, which one?
Tall joy in the middle?
Yeah, she looks like a like.
Oh, she's born.
She's black?
What's her name?
She's black.
She looks like a finer little gay girl.
She's fine, though.
She's gay, right?
Who?
Lily Sing?
She's bisexual.
Who's this?
She's like, that's that YouTube girl.
Wait a minute.
She's bi?
Yeah.
That's so funny.
I'm about to say, like, is that like?
I don't know.
You thought we were going to school.
You don't look for us, yay.
All these trashing old brown people on this platform.
Netflix vs Disney Plus Shows00:14:01
Do you really believe she's bi or do you think that it is like a convenient?
It's like, I'm going to say I'm biased so that people still think I'm straight enough, but in reality, I'm actually a lesbian, but you won't support me if I'm a lesbian, so I'll say bye.
Oh, excuse me.
It's like a safe expression of yeah.
It's like when Malik Yoba was like, I'm into trans women.
It's like, no, you like cops.
You like fucking guys.
So do you think that's what she's doing?
And I know it's a hard situation because you're not.
I won't dispute any theories.
Gotcha.
I will say, no, I don't know.
This is more to your theory, maybe.
I was at first skeptical of like, is it just a nice platform to say you're gay and then get a lot of people?
Oh, you think she was you?
I was thinking that, but I do remember someone worked with her years ago before she like was on billboards.
She was still big, but before billboards, she was like the best.
And she was like, she has a very masculine energy.
I don't know if she is gay.
I'm not saying she's gay, but she just, and it's fine if she just has a very masculine energy.
I was watching some shit where like, she was doing some sketch with this dude, where like, like they were kind of like beefing and and they were like yo, you want to take it outside and and she's like, she's like you want to take it outside, like.
And then she's like, see me at the corner, the parking lot.
It was a long setup but it got there.
It got there.
So she does have that, she does have the alpha energy bro, and like she like play dudes right, like she did like the fucking Eddie Murphy thing where she like dressed up as a bunch of people yeah, so she would.
Yeah, my girl is uh, a big, she's Punjabi also very proudly, and she gets a little bothered that Lily doesn't claim that very much.
Like she claims it yeah, but not you be bi and and Punjabi um yeah young, younger kids don't really give a fuck.
I mean, our parents are our parents, but how does God feel about it?
I think he's good with it.
God is good with God is good with it.
Yeah really, i'm pretty sure.
Yeah yeah, Our uncles aren't God, but sick God, I'm pretty sure is good with God is one of them.
Very open-minded religion.
Really?
Yeah.
That's what's up.
But yeah, she looks like the Destiny's.
I mean, Charlie's Angel shit.
That was my long way.
Okay.
First gay act in history.
Keep this in mind.
You're butt fucking San's running water.
Wait, what?
Whoa, whoa.
You had movies, but you didn't have to do it.
When was it?
No, no, I'm saying, no, no, in history.
First gay act in history.
Do you know how they always go like, oh, back in the day, sexuality was so fluid, this or that, the other?
I do not think it was so fluid.
I think the reason why there is such distaste for it in the Bible and stuff.
I can't speak about Eastern philosophy or religion, but I think there's such distaste in the Abrahamic religions is because you were in the desert, right?
There's no fucking running water.
There's no toilet paper or anything like that.
You're kind of gross.
And then a guy's fucking another guy in the ass.
Don't you think it's reasonable to see them go like, hey, don't do that?
I think it happened earlier than we expected.
Because I remember men are like stupid back here, right?
Like they probably didn't give a fuck about women.
They're like, oh, this tiny thing, fuck out of here.
And they're like, how do we make more of us?
And they're probably like tested with a few dudes that first.
It was like, nothing's not working.
How come no pregnancy happened?
Yo, Kaz's logic is so fucking bad.
No, I need to take a moment.
I need to take a moment on this.
I need to take a moment on this.
Let me tell you.
Kaz's logic is, hold on, hold on.
Kaz's logic is, he's like, women are so weak, we should test on some dudes to see if they get pregnant too.
Now, now.
No, no, no.
Hold on, let me just get this out.
Let me just get this out.
No, no, that's what he was saying.
I think he's saying they want to give birth to dudes in the way to give birth to them.
No!
No!
That's what you're saying?
Exactly.
They're probably.
I'm guessing.
You know what I mean?
They didn't have menstrual shit under control.
They probably bled to death every two weeks.
I was like, oh, these women are useless.
And they were like, oh, us strong men, we need to make more of men.
How do we maybe you hit here?
Okay, so both of us.
So yes, both of our theories combined.
Okay.
That's how stupid it was, is we both misinterpreted it and we were both right.
So, so I don't think gay thoughts happen before.
Hold on, So you thinking that men, you think men are going around, right, wondering how to make other men, right?
Knowing full well they came out of a pussy, but they're like, how do you know?
Did you know that?
They have a mom.
Yeah, dog.
What do you think?
No one found that out?
I don't know.
Every day they're seeing bitches give birth to men and women.
And you think some guys...
No, that's how the first gay guy was slick.
Stop thinking about it.
The first gay guy was slick.
You're not saying early when he tricked everybody.
The first gay guy was like, yo, if you want a really strong baby, you gotta punch my shitbox in.
That's how we're gonna make strong babies, and then we can take over that other warring tribe.
And then the other guy's like, for real?
He's like, yes.
I'm willing to sacrifice.
I actually think it was starting as some dominant shit of like, I'm gonna rape you.
Alex, this is what I'm gonna do to you what I do to these useless hoes over here over there picking berries.
Oh my god.
Look how much my bitch you are.
And then they fucked him and that's how it all became a thing.
But do you think that they got hard enough to bust?
Or do you think they were just like elephant trying to get my son?
Rapists be finding a way to get hard.
Mind blowing?
That should be happening.
I don't know, dude.
I don't know.
Do you really think?
People get their kicks off of that shit.
Like, ah, stop.
That was dark.
It's true.
That's yeah.
Yeah, it's real shit.
Like people get off on like the struggle and like establishing that dominance and feeling like that.
Also, there was no lights back then, so at night, maybe you could like, right?
It's not like, it's not like set the mood with the bed light or nothing like that.
That shit was dark, b like you had, and by morning, you out.
So you're just dealing with, you know, and women were probably hairier back then.
You know, they probably had like definitely pussy hair and butthole hair, but maybe not come a long way as men.
Grooming.
We have.
They for sure were grooming back then.
I think it started with a circle jerk.
Yo, I took a stummy bear before this today.
It started with a circle jerk, son.
Because think about it.
The first guy who listen to this shit.
The first guy who jerks some fucking shit.
You empower this.
I know.
You empower this.
Your stand-up comedy has empowered this.
Hold on.
No lies.
There's a bunch of fucking guys that are sitting around with full power to rape whoever they want.
And they're like, you know what we should do?
Whack off while looking at each other.
That's logical.
You can literally take any pussy that you wanted on planet Earth.
There was no rules against it.
He's getting so irritated that you're not listening to his fucking stupid ass theory.
Go, go, go.
I didn't hear it.
Hey, guys.
Hey, guys.
Instead of fucking pussy you want.
Hey, hey, hey, if you want to not fuck the exact pussy that you want and instead stare me in the eyes and whack off onto each other, hey, yeah, that sounds good.
Why don't we invite the boys over?
Because me and you wouldn't be as much fun as if 10 of us created a fucking circle.
You think that's how the Native Americans meant making a rainbow?
Rain dance.
How was their rain dance?
They're just whacking off in a circle straight into the sky.
Letting it come down their shoulders and heads, hit them on their fucking feathers.
That's fucking good.
You deserve all of this, Alex.
Just so you deserve all of this, bro.
Green base.
All right, Al, go make your point.
Make your circle.
Make your fucking circle.
I think you covered it, huh?
Oh, my God.
I think you got it there.
Oh, my God.
God.
Damn.
Do y'all get Disney Plus yet?
Fucking love Disney Plus.
God damn it.
Love that shit, yo.
I don't know why I had to talk about it now, but I saw the moment.
Fuck it.
Oh, fuck.
Did y'all get Disney Plus yet?
Nah, I didn't get it just yet.
I'm going to need some popping shit.
I want to see that.
You got it?
Yeah, man.
Thoughts?
I thought it was cool.
I think it's great.
My girl's fucking so happy, dude.
Everybody who watched Disney...
I didn't really watch Disney growing up because I had an older brother.
So I would try to be like him.
And he had outgrown all that shit.
So it wasn't a ton of nostalgia for me, but there's definitely some great movies on there.
And I think it's a wrap for Netflix.
Yes.
I think Disney Plus, the subscribership is going to be like historic.
Like mind-blowing numbers out the gate.
Son.
I think people are going to be able to do it.
I forget how much.
What I say.
I've been told these motherfuckers this shit.
Do you know what I mean?
I think people find that.
I think people are just going to get rid of everybody.
I told these motherfuckers this shit, but it's going to happen.
It's fine.
I know that they got X-Men on there.
You could watch the X-Men for that.
Son, Darren Brand, shout out to comedian Darren Brand.
He had the funniest fucking video.
He just smoking weed talking about Disney Plus.
And it's so fucking funny.
I don't know.
He just starts watching the X-Men during the video for the last 45 seconds.
And it just, it's just funny.
Everybody check it out.
We got Darren Brand.
It's such a good thing.
Do you think in the future, like, people, like, kids will look back at the X-Men cartoons and think it's like a trans superhero group?
Like, because they were X-Men.
Better shit.
Gotta go back and grab it.
Almost went over there.
Almost caught it.
Gotta go grab it.
There you go.
I support it.
I support it.
I respect it.
I support it.
My weekend was completely lost because of that.
What you watching?
I watched fucking Smart Guy.
I watched Chippendale Rescue Rangers.
Thank you.
Smart man.
They got Dark Really.
Spider-Man.
Dark Rain Duck slapped.
I need to watch that.
It was so funny.
I watched Endgame again, cried again with my girl.
Fucking...
Remember the Titans?
All the Titans are supposed to be a bad thing.
All the sports docs that they did.
All the fucking Boy Meets World shit.
Like, that's so raven.
Like, I was, I was lost this weekend.
Yo, Disney's so brilliant, man.
They plotted this for fucking 10 years, bro.
And didn't say a word about it.
And I think you had a tweet when they bought Fox that said Disney's playing chess.
Everybody else is playing checkers.
And then I was like, oh, Disney Plus.
They got the shit.
Son, they even got another shit that I was thinking that the streaming thing should do.
This is kind of dope.
So you could look up, and I'm fucking stoked they did.
You can look up any movie, right?
If Disney Plus don't have it, but one of their other services that are connected does, it will recommend that service and where you can watch it.
Wow.
So let's say you want to watch Bad Boys 2.
And Disney's like, ah, we don't have that, but it is on Hulu.
And Hulu is available for $1.99 a month more.
And it's like, whereas Netflix, you just type in Akash Singh stand-up special.
And it's like, sorry, nothing.
Would you enjoy this?
Yeah.
We have Russell Peters back to India.
We have Joint Luck Club if you're interested.
There's never some shit I'd be remotely interested in.
Drew.
The best.
That's Google.
What?
If you Google anything, it does that.
No, but he's saying they take you to their other properties.
Yeah, Google does that.
So whenever you pull up a movie, it'll show you all the places you can get it on which streaming service.
You just click it.
But it's not all owned by Google.
His point is Disney Plus, Disney owns Hulu.
Disney owns whatever other service.
They're not going to send you to Netflix.
They're not going to send you to Amazon.
They're going to send you to Hulu or ESPN Plus or whatever.
One of their properties that they own.
So ready?
So none of the energy.
Here's the question.
Ready?
When you go home to watch something, right?
Yeah.
Do you type it into Google?
Yes.
So you go home.
Because I pull it up on my laptop.
You type it into Google, and then you just press play, and then it brings you to Netflix.
What do you think most of humans do?
I mean, what do you think most of humans humans do?
That's what I do.
Listen, that's what I just said.
We know what you do.
But we also know you think homosexuality was invented from a circle turk.
So you're going a little different ways with shit.
You think most of you.
You started because of plumbing.
100% plumbing did a huge part.
Huge part.
Watching that area.
They were fucking way before plumbing.
Yeah, but begrudgingly.
It became out in the open after plumbing.
Like, motherfuckers were just like, they had them.
So I think majority of people turn on Netflix, right?
And then they start searching for things on Netflix.
And that's why there's the paralysis of analysis, they say.
Like, you just keep looking for more videos.
You keep looking for more shit, but you never find anything.
Like, so many people are stuck on the search, right?
So I'm not saying that you may have found a more effective way, right?
That's possible.
But the majority of people type it in, it's not there, and then they're done.
Disney Plus has somewhat solved that option by taking you to wherever it is.
And since they have so much real estate in the market, they can take you to another one of their properties that they actually own.
No, I feel like Netflix can't do it.
You know what I'm saying?
Disney's so ahead of the game, bro.
They had the show.
This is the show on Disney Plus called The World, according to Jeff Goldblum, right?
Yeah.
And the first episode is about sneakers.
And they show you, they show Jeff Goldblum going to the Adidas Headquarters their secret innovation headquarters where they literally fucking study brain waves to know if you like something, if you loathe something, like to get actual real feedback for all their products, right?
Adidas Brain Wave Testing00:03:52
So they've basically figured out a way to quantify how to cause motherfuckers to camp out in front of sneaker stores and have mass hysteria for uh, this for Adidas, but i'm i'm sure NIKE, i'm sure all these people have this technology.
They literally give you glasses right, put glasses on your face and once you hold the sneakers, they have like nine or 15 different fucking emotions, like happiness sadness contempt um, displeasure.
You know all this other and like every time he thought about, they're like yo act like you don't like it, like you would like stare at it, make a face and like the fucking shit would go up.
And he's like a pair of glasses that they have and they're doing this with sneakers.
Why doesn't it work for any of their sneakers?
And nobody lining up for Adidas.
Are you kidding me?
That's Yeezy, it's Adidas.
You think Adidas don't have the technology?
Be like yo, come on.
Why didn't they do it before Kanya?
If you don't need Kanya, you don't pay him dog.
True false, they got, they got.
There's a reason why they, those three stripes, ain't on the fucking Yeezy.
They got Beyonce too.
They got IVY PARK.
That didn't even regard.
That wouldn't have anything to do with their brain.
The study, like signing Beyonce doesn't have anything to do with.
We're still, mind you, this is just Adidas.
Like clearly, but this technology exists for shit is what i'm saying.
I think, and this is my, this is just my theory.
I think that human beings don't really know what they like, but they know what they're influenced by.
So like, if somebody is influential enough, he can get people to wear sneakers that we all thought were ugly.
Like Dad's sneakers are popping right, but there was a time where we all thought they were absolutely ugly, we would never wear them, they were just for like, football coaches.
And then Yeezy comes, then you know what's face comes around and the fashion industry comes around.
They're like, nah, this is the type of sneaker we're gonna wear and we still need somebody in that, in that green room, to be like, we need somebody that can push that influence.
Like we have the technology, we have everything we need, but we still need that person to put it on, somebody to make.
Because, even if we just said it, you're like, that's not Adidas, that's Yeezy.
No, that's Adidas.
I guess what i'm saying is the more important person in the interaction.
Like you can get people to wear anything.
Like all of us wore baggy jeans.
Now we think that's stupid.
Now we wear skinny jeans.
In the next five years we'll probably wear baggy jeans again and we'll think skinny jeans are stupid right.
So like what we like is complete manipulatable.
Of course they will.
It's completely manipulatable.
It's based on influencer and someone with enough power and equity in the fashion space or the music space or look at how music has even changed, you know will shift all of our ideas and focus to accept things that we thought weren't good.
So while it's definitely a cool technology to see if we like anything, that thing in our head that tells us to like it is useless in my opinion.
The only thing you can really trust is like food and taste buds, like it don't matter how cool someone says some shit is, it's hard to get motherfuckers to like it if their flavor doesn't get it.
Yeah, you know what I mean, but I still think there's.
There's still that thing where, even if you see something like I know, I know there's some shit that I I knew that was the shoes, The shoes I have on right now, I probably wouldn't have wearing these like five or six years ago.
But now I'm like, oh yeah, you know, this goes with this.
Like, I could get away with that.
Like, these are some Adidas shits, but I forgot what they're actually called.
But put them up here.
But I wouldn't have worn these like five, six years ago.
Like, I'd need like, I would need like, oh, these fucking, you know, some signature athlete behind it, like Jordan's, Durant, whatever.
But now it's like, you know, there's just something in you where like you don't, you're not even, you're not even conscious of why you like the shit.
It's like, oh yeah, this will work.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I get it.
Like, we're talking about, I'm talking about like hysteria.
I'm talking about people like, yo, I have to have these.
I have to be the first one with them.
I have to, you know what I'm saying?
Like, that's probably where your theory comes in.
Where it's like, this guy's an influencer.
Like, these people who get these sneakers are influencers.
They need to get that before everybody else does.
And I don't know.
And when they do, they make it cool.
Kanye's Unmastered Album Logic00:06:24
It was really fucking interesting to me, man.
Why do you guys think retros work?
Nostalgia.
Yeah.
Because when shit is baked into your memories, right?
Like, that's like the best way to influence people, right?
Disney Plus.
Like, there's Disney Plus, exactly.
Of course.
So there's like with food, this is something.
I was talking to Tim Dylan about this, and his uncle works with all these restaurants in the city.
Tim's the guy to talk to about Puff Take.
He really understands.
He understands the food game itself.
And he was like, his uncle would taste certain meals and be like, this tastes like spring.
Meaning like you're in the mood to have it in spring.
Whereas like a hot cocoa or something like that, that's like a fall winter type thing, right?
So, and the reason why those things exist, because when you eat it or when you smell it or when you taste it, it reminds you of these events that happen in your life.
Like there's a lot of... Pumpkin shit is always in the fall.
Always in the fall.
Right?
And it's like, there's a place called Clinton Street Bakery in New York.
It's a very renowned bakery that has these pancakes.
And their line is out for two hours.
Two-hour wait, no matter when you want to go on a weekend.
And I've tried the pancakes.
I'm like, why are they so good?
I asked him why they're so good.
He goes, you know what it is?
They crust up on the sides.
And I go, so what does that have to do?
He goes, remember when your parents made you pancakes as a kid?
And there was all that butter in the tray.
So the pancake edges crusted up?
He goes, you just think you're with your parents eating pancakes.
It taps into that childlike.
Clinton Street Bakery is what it's called?
Yeah, yeah, it slaps.
But two-hour weight.
It's insane.
It's like right off of Delancey, right?
Delancey or Houston.
Houston and Clint.
And the Asians found it.
And once the Asian tourists find it, crap.
Supreme for breakfast.
Just like Asians.
Imagine loving a brand you couldn't pronounce.
How fucking difficult that's going to be.
No, but for real.
Imagine like...
Wait, how does it sound?
Supreme.
Supreme.
Can they say the R's?
No, it's Walk and Wool for Rock and Roll.
City Walk.
Supreme.
No, that sounds like speech mathematicism.
Nah, I mean, I'm thinking South Park was like, shitty walk.
Ever episode of South Park?
The ultimate shiny, the shitty walk, and like the shitty beef, the shitty stick, but this.
Shitty.
Built my shitty wall.
Okay.
Did you guys hear about Kanye performing in the prison?
No, I heard about Kanye and Joel Osteen.
I didn't hear about Kanye.
Ah, what's happening with that?
He was just on, he was just at Joel Olstein's church speaking about how he was the greatest musician of all time, and he's not working for the devil anymore.
Now he's on God's side or something crazy like that.
You know what's the worst part about that whole shit?
The music's good, but it don't make me feel good at all.
Kanye's music.
Like the new album, like.
Oh, Alex has a point about the new album that he wanted to get out last week that he didn't get out.
And this is actually a good point.
It's not him on fucking mushrooms.
Like his bad rest of this episode.
So, when the album first came out, and I was like, the one thing I usually look forward to in a Kanye album is the production value.
Yeah.
And I felt that this album was off.
Like, I was listening.
I hear little things that it's like, ah, it's not really mixed very well.
And then it turns out a week or two after the album came back, he remastered it because it was mixed.
And he also took out drums.
And it sounds a lot better now, actually.
Like, there's a couple songs I like now.
Yeah, no, that's what I did.
I like that.
It's good, but it just doesn't make music supposed to put the fucking unmastered album out then.
He was Russian.
He does it all the time.
He wanted to put out Drake's birthday, I think.
I think so.
Like, the first version of Life of Pablo is way different than the one that eventually came out.
Kanye got surgery again, though, straight up.
He don't look as fat.
Now he looks like Baron Davis.
Tell me he don't look like Dark Baron in them pictures.
Nah, he was fatter before, straight up.
100% fatter before.
He got the liposuction fat.
He got that dopeboy surgery fit.
Righteous and ratchet surgery.
Yeah, I mean, to be fair, it's pretty cool that he's performing out of prison.
Fuck yo.
Motherfuckers in jail and shit.
Like, that's cool.
Yo, go down here.
Go down here.
Keep going doing that.
Keep going down.
Keep going down.
I'm going to show you a picture.
Keep going down.
Keep going down.
There it is, right here.
Kim is looking amazing.
Now, why was Kim never bad?
Don't Kanye look like the cartoon character that eats the bird?
You know, the tweety bird like Sylvester the cat.
You know how the cat got the bird in his mouth and then the owner finds him?
He's like, he comes out on his tongue.
Yeah.
Don't Kanye always look like that?
Like he got caught eating some shitty shit.
Yo.
Kanye.
I don't care that he's performing at a prison.
I just think it's funny that later that day, some guy is going to get raped and the guy raping is going to be humming his favorite Kanye song.
So yeah, so your point.
So Kanye didn't use 808s in this album because 808s are devil music to him.
Oh, really?
And he said, that's why.
Like, if you listen to the song with the clips on it, you keep waiting for the beat to drop.
The beat never drops.
There's just like a constant tone in the background and just rapping.
And usually when that happens, they do that for a little while, and then you hear the that never happens in the song.
Damn, I didn't realize that.
He didn't use any 808s a whole lot.
No 808s.
That's part of the reason.
It sounds good.
It just doesn't make me feel good.
Music's supposed to make me feel good.
I just feel like I'm getting grifted every time I see him.
Yeah, like I feel like he's about to ask me to donate to some fucking, you know, like Kanye Dollar.
Yeah, like past collection play.
I just almost need the slimy motherfucker.
Watch the throne Kanye when he was just like talking his shit.
Yeah.
Like, don't, don't, the woke shit show.
Just like get back on that.
Either talk your shit or if you want to do woke.
Bro, he got to be woke.
He got a white wife.
He has to do it in a voice.
You get woke, you get a white girl.
Is she white?
She ain't Armenian.
She ain't black.
Yeah, but do we call Armenians white?
Woke White Surrogates and Beats00:02:41
Yeah, she would.
I thought so.
She is white.
Really?
She's white.
Armenians are white.
They're like the Sicilians of white.
Oh, wow.
That's well said.
Ah, okay.
Like, there's some sort of something in there, but like, not enough.
Like, you're white.
Right.
Okay.
Dutch, Irish, and Scottish, and then half.
Yeah, so white, half white, half.
Ah, she's white enough.
Yeah.
She's white enough.
I've never seen her kids' names all together like that, and it looks crazy to me.
Psalm Saint North Chicago.
Wait, she has four kids?
Yeah, two of them were, what's it called?
Surrogates?
Surrogates, yeah.
But her eggs and his sperm.
Yeah, I think hers is North and Saint Saw them in Chicago.
I think we're surgery.
I mean, can we talk about that for a second?
The fact that rich people are just having other people carry their kids for them.
That is crazy.
That's some ball and shit.
Doesn't this sound like something in a sci-fi movie?
Yeah, it is.
We're like, the poor people of the world will be used as vessels for the rich people to have more children.
Yeah, that looks crazy.
If you explain that to even our parents, that in the future, other people would house their children inside of your body so they didn't get stretch marks.
Whoa.
That's fucking insane.
I think she almost died in one of the childbirths, but I was thinking.
I think after Saint.
Yeah.
Imagine taking Ray J's pipe and not being able to push out a kid.
I thought you were going to be able to do that.
I think it would be a little easier afterwards.
He made some room in that little woof.
Ray J's the first boring company.
We're building a tunnel in LA.
Oh, man.
All right.
What else we got, boys?
Matter of fact, let's pay some bills and then we'll come back with some hot fire.
This episode is brought to you not only by Full Sack.
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Porzingis as Finals MVP00:08:20
Okay.
I give her that back.
That being said, that being said, every once in a while, okay?
Every once in a while, I come out of retirement and I get on top and I lay that pipe and I chew it up.
I chews it up.
Okay.
It's blue chew.
We're not playing around.
We're doing exactly what we got to do.
We are delivering the dick and we are making sure that it is delivered in the most efficient, effective, titanium-hard way possible.
Bluechew.com, promo code flagrant.
Deliver that dick.
Deliver that dick.
Now, while we're waiting for Akash to come back, Kaz, we can talk about this unprecedented access that you have been given into the saddest team in NBA history, the New York Knicks.
Kaz is now part of the press.
Yeah, credentialed media.
Credentialed media at the New York Knicks facility, Madison Square Garden, and he is in the locker rooms checking out them dang-a-langs.
Do they have their dicks out in the locker room?
There were no dicks out.
There were plenty of towels there.
The showers around.
So now the showers are private.
There was a time where dicks were out.
Yeah, there was a time.
NFL locker rooms.
Dicks are out sometimes.
I mean, I guess they come in with the towel.
So I guess like for a split second, dicks may be out, but no, I wasn't in the room.
I wasn't around any dicks.
No.
Okay.
No.
But you're in the locker room.
I was in the locker room.
Yeah.
So, you know, shout out to New York Post for you guys.
If you haven't listened to the Big Apple Buckets podcast, it's a podcast due every week with the New York Knicks.
And this past week, I got to see Porzingas' grand return to Master Square Garden and kind of be behind the scenes, see all that type of stuff.
I've been to a million games, never experienced it as a member of press.
You're on the floor.
Regularly.
Yeah, like I'm on the floor in the locker room, talked to Rick Carlisle before the game, talked to Porzingas, talked to everybody.
It's a way different experience than I expected.
Now, what did Porzingas say when you spoke to him?
And what'd you ask?
So I got to talk to him a little bit about, because I talked to him after the game, because after the game, the melanos happened.
So we asked him to show, like, how do you feel?
Yada, yada.
He just had a quick thing.
He still was like, he still looked kind of rattled after the whole, like, people called him an asshole shit.
They were saying called, they was chanting, fuck Porzingas on the way out of the arena.
Like, he looked rattled.
Like, he looked like he just was, just came back from a war-torn Latvia or some shit like that.
But I asked him about that, which is cool.
Got to hang out with a lot of the Knicks before the game, during the game.
Not during the game, before the game, after the game.
And it was a pretty dope experience, man.
But like, I'm so glad I don't got to do that shit every day.
Really?
Yeah.
Why?
Why?
I could just pick and choose the games I want.
I'm only doing a podcast once a week.
So it's not like I got to be there every day doing the beat writers with beat writing shit with everybody.
And it was an Ashley Televis game.
So there was more media than normal.
It was, you know, everybody there.
And on top of that, it was Porzingis returning.
So it was too many motherfuckers.
That said, it was crazy.
Like, it was good to be back there after a win, but I really want to be there after a loss.
Like, I wish I was there Saturday just to kind of see how quickly do they move on?
Because after a Knicks loss, especially a loss like Saturday when they lose at the buzzard on some bullshit, I'm tight.
Like my girl's looking at me like, yo, why are you?
Like, it's just a game.
Like, I'm tight after that.
Like, I want to see, like, how quickly.
You understand?
There were wins.
Wins are few and far between.
Exactly.
And they were up 20 at one point.
And like, it looked like it was going to be easy.
You take such a macroscopic view with NBA because it's 82 games.
Every game, I'm like, yo, whatever.
Wins and losses.
Wins are dope.
Losses suck, but whatever.
Like, there's 82.
And I'm okay with that.
But after the Dallas game, I'm like, okay, maybe they'll get some momentum.
Dennis Smith looked good.
They still suck.
They still suck.
Okay, obviously they suck.
Can we get into Perzingis for a second here?
Does he suck?
He's, I think, still recovering, but I'll say this about Porzingis.
I'm glad the Mavs got Luca.
He not built to be a number one.
Yes.
Luca built this shit.
And I haven't got to watch a game.
I live in Dallas.
I don't have league pass.
We should still go have something.
You want in?
Let's do it.
I'm down.
But I haven't got to watch many games.
I watched him show down with LeBron.
Luca lives for the fucking spotlight.
He loves it.
Porzingis ain't about it.
He's frightened.
And he's kind of open about like he, pressure can kind of get to him and whatever.
He needs Luca.
Yeah.
He's a great.
That's ideal for a number two.
Do you think KP, Chris Abs Porzingis, will be able to reach the levels that he was at with the Knicks?
I think so.
And I think that's as good as he's going to get, though.
Which is pretty damn good.
But with a guy like Luka Donczik, it's like, I got to watch him live and live in color.
It's like, you can't rush this motherfucker.
It's like watching Aaron Rodgers play football.
It's like he's at one speed.
He's not going too fast, not going too slow.
Every pass he makes is ratting the money.
He always knows where a rebound is going to get.
You know the step back's coming.
You still can't stop it.
It's still wet.
Like it's some Larry Bird shit.
Like that motherfucker is, I hate to compare white people, but like that's who he looks like to me.
Like just a motherfucking business.
This is like somebody I trust with basketball on the ticket against say he passes like Larry Bird.
Zach Lowe.
I don't know X's and O's at basketball like y'all.
Zach Lowe said he's already probably the best passer in the league.
Yeah.
I see that.
Like that's Zach Lowe who knows basketball and is thinking about LeBron when he says that for sure.
That's what everybody said when he first, even last year, they were like the only person that those skip passes that he makes remind me of is LeBron James because he's big enough to make them and he draws enough attention where once he kicks it motherfuckers are wide the fuck open and he puts them right on the money where shooters like to get it.
And just watching that shit live in Leva Color, I'm like, he's going to win MVP one year.
If not this year, if not next year, he's getting one.
He's that fucking good.
And he's 20.
He's 20 years old.
Yeah, I think being able to shoot really changed everything, right?
Because there was never any question about his ability to get to the basket or his ability to see the floor and his ability to finish more than that.
I'm worried about it because he looked unathletic to me when he got drafted.
He looked pudgy for a bag as well.
If you think about being six, what is he, six?
Six, eight, six, eight, right?
So being in that 6'8, 6'9 range is if you can handle the ball, you can make up for a lack of athleticism, right?
And that's the thing I wasn't really concerned with.
And he isn't the most athletic, but he uses his body really well.
And he creates space.
He creates space.
He's created space very well.
But what happened is the knock on him, and I guarantee the Mavs put this out there, was that he can't shoot.
And the fact that he's lighted out, now you got to stay up on him.
Try staying up on a guy who's 6'9 at the three-point line.
He's going to go by you.
The only way to stop a guy is to sag.
Now, if you sag, he's wet in your face.
So, yeah, we're looking at built different than most Euros.
Dirk was built like most Euros mentally.
Like, he didn't care about being a star.
Luca apparently is keenly aware of when a game is on national TV.
And I heard at, like, as soon as the Lakers game was over, he was in his Twitter seeing who's talking about him, whatever.
And not in like a cancerous way, but like, oh, this is my moment.
Let's fucking go.
This is national TV.
Let's fucking go.
He was doing this shit.
No, this is Luca.
KP is not like that.
KP is very introspective, always thinking through things.
The nick game was national televised.
Well, he balled out.
He had a triple-double.
He had like 38, 10, and 11.
Oh, so good.
I think he had a good game.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know if he triple-double, but I think it was 30-something and 11.
Yeah, he definitely had a triple-double.
And on top of that, this motherfucker just was doing this in the Euro, like the EuroLeague.
The second best league in the world.
He was the equivalent of their finals MVP.
Kaz was calling for Luca to be the number one pick that entire season.
I forgot who went number one.
I think it was, was it Ayton that went number one that?
And then Bagley, and then Luca, and then was four Bomba?
Five was whoever Chicago picked, Bobby Porter Jr.
Otto Porter Jr., whatever the fuck.
And five was Trey Young.
Yeah, that was, I think we just had our.
20 and 11.
I'll take it.
Shot 20-something shots, though.
I think he was missing a lot early on, especially.
He was missing a lot.
But yeah, it's goofy-ass accents off the fucking lever.
Helmet Hits and De-escalation00:12:35
That shit looks so stupid.
You're in America, dude.
Don Chich got a V, a little V on top of it.
Porzinga's got some shit under the N for what?
Get out of here, bro.
I don't even notice that shit under the N.
That shit for something yogurt I was eating in Sweden.
I think that's called cum.
Prison cum.
Oh, God.
So let's get to Miles Garrett.
Somebody was like, that should be our new logo.
Yo, is it, is it?
Can y'all explain to me why this is that bad?
I'm in the kitchen.
Hey, a dead ass.
Why is it, man?
Yo, I have to.
Look, you're allowed to fight.
You're allowed to punch each other in the face.
You allowed to have your helmet on and someone else doesn't have an helmet on.
You can punch them in the face and you get like, what, a little penalty for roughing a passer?
And the second you take the helmet and you smash it on someone else's head, now you can't play football.
I was texting my homie, Chal Sa Bryan.
I was saying this exact thing.
Now, realistically, if he does hit Rudolph with the helmet, he really could do permanent damage.
Like, you're swinging the helmet as if it's a weapon hard.
I mean, he had him pretty dead on, yo.
Like, I think this guy cracked the chair when he, so there's a video of someone swinging a helmet at a wooden chair and he cracks the fucking chair.
Yeah.
So that's why.
You have to suspend him for the year.
But people were really, I thought, grandstanding a lot about this is an insult to the game, blah, blah, blah.
And Roy Wood, Chelsea Roy Wood, the comedian, he had a great question.
He goes, serious question.
How do we feel about headhunting in baseball?
Because it's not looked at like this.
And if your point is it could be lethal.
Completely different.
How?
Because you can't prove that someone's headhunting.
There is one purpose for swinging a helmet at someone's head, and that is to hit him in the head with a helmet.
In baseball, you throw a pitch.
You can liz it by him and be like, oh, the ball got away.
It's a pretended purpose of getting someone to swing a bat at that pitch, hopefully miss, or you get that strike.
I wouldn't say that in terms of persecution because, yeah, to persecute your prosecute, you have to like, you have to have proof that he meant to do it.
Exactly.
But we all know pitchers do it.
And the general consensus of it.
You can't prove it.
Oh, it's kind of fucked up.
You just can't prove it.
And a pitcher could go, I wanted to make it close.
I didn't want to hit him, but he was crowding the plate, and I wanted to back him up a little bit.
I truly did not mean to hit him.
There's no way you could prove that the pitcher looked at it and tried to do that.
That's fair.
But as a thing that we all know that happens in baseball, that baseball fans all know is a thing.
Nobody's like, yo, what the fuck, man?
How are we just doing that?
Like, pitchers are just throwing at people's heads.
It's fucking crazy.
We should all stop this.
I think we also acknowledge that throwing a ball that speed to an exact location is so mind-bogglingly difficult that we understand that sometimes pitches get away because people get hit by pitches without purpose, right?
100%.
This doesn't drive it.
Like a nasty curveball is supposed to look like it's about to hit you and drops.
And sometimes it doesn't drop as much.
It hits you in the elbow, right?
So like, I saw the tweet that he said, it's just not the same thing.
This is an act of aggression, which I don't even think is that bad.
But I understand that you can't have this happening in the game because it makes the game itself that's already violent look thuggish, if you will.
Pablo Torrey had a great tweet.
He said, Miles Garrett's biggest crime is not discerning the difference between consensual and non-consensual brain damage.
I was like, yeah, like, whoever's saying this is assault, I'm like, 90% of the shit that happens on the football field is assault.
Oh, it shouldn't be assault.
It should just be something that you get really fine.
This is the kind of shit I'm talking about.
This fucking cuck from the ringer.
Miles Garrett just committed actual assault on the football field.
Get him out of here for the season.
If Miles Garrett plays one more snap this season, it's a joke.
Just out of curiosity, what do you guys think about this?
And I think this is more similar because it's within football.
I think a head-on-head hit that's purposeful, right?
I think that is worse than this.
Yeah, I can quite possibly agree with it.
I think it's worse because a head-on-head hit, a head-on-head hit, and it is your choice, right?
We're talking about defenseless receiver, head-on-head hit, not like the receiver bends his head down, it's disputed.
We're talking about you, he didn't see you.
You saw him, and you went right for his head with your head when you could have gone for any other part of the body.
That is probably way more punishing than this.
Like, this guy swung a helmet full force, hit him on the head, and he didn't even fall.
He stumbled.
He moved.
If it wasn't for this dude's shoulder, number 66, he gets fucking creamed.
Oh, wait, no.
No, he hits him right on the top of the head, clean.
I think he ducks it off.
No, it hits him clean on the top of the head.
I've watched a video.
See how he braces right here?
No, boom.
Hits him on the top of the head.
Yeah, but he's clean on the top of the head.
It's the open part of the helmet that he's in.
Yeah, it's the bottom of the helmet.
Yeah, but I'm just saying that.
That's the sharp part.
If you hit him with enough force, that can kill a person.
Yeah, for sure.
The head-on-head helmet hit, it can cause concussion, but I don't think you can get it.
So this is the difference between the head-on-head, the helmet hit.
The other person's also wearing a helmet.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And if you ran full force into someone who wasn't wearing a helmet with yours, probably kill him.
Yes.
Right?
So I hear what you're saying.
This poses more danger, and it's unique in that that person is not as covered as we would allow.
That being said, we would find someone, maybe a game for head-on-head.
I don't know how did that work.
I think he's usually penalizing.
It's funny.
Money fine.
So it's just a money fine.
If it's like some perfect shit where you have a prior history, you might miss it more than one game or two.
If this doesn't happen on national TV, it's not a big deal.
Think it's a five-six game ban, maybe.
And that's like, but yeah, I just to me, it is not excusable.
I just think people acting like it's the most heinous thing they've ever seen.
I can understand in a game like this, you're completely passionate, you're a fucking lineman.
Every player beating the shit out of each other, a guy just punched you in the balls.
Now it's like, all right, let's fucking go.
You rip the helmet off, you're not thinking clearly, you have his helmet in your hand, and you just fucking swing.
To me, it's like you got to punish it, you got to sit him for the season.
But in my mind, it's also just like he lost it for a second.
We've all, anybody who's had a girlfriend has lost it for a second, you know what I mean?
So, like, it's a thing that happened, and you got to be punished.
But whoa, it was really dark.
Oh, I ain't even talk to us, Sakas.
What happened?
She ain't gonna tell me.
Nah, but I think the reason why they have to go above and beyond and treat this like it's the most heinous crime is so that way no one ever does it again.
Because had he killed him with this shit right here, now people are saying, oh, football's too dangerous of a sport.
Nobody should play it.
Like, if we saw it, Sunday at noon, I think he gets six games.
Sonic, we saw a death on national TV.
You're not that much.
Oh, oh, no, no.
This exact thing that went out, went out.
A lot of factors contributed.
He's lucky he didn't, if he connected for real, he did connect for real.
Nah, Drew Drew, I'm telling you.
Like, right now, the helmet's kind of turning.
It's kind of turning a little bit.
It's not like a direct, full, all-his might swing on it.
But I'm saying that you angled it.
If you really cognate back where you can feel somebody that lands like on the back right corner of his head pretty hard.
So that's why they got to throw the book out of him.
Shouts to who is it, Marquise Pounce?
He started kicking his ass after.
Yeah, that was funny.
Mason Rudolph's kind of a bitch, too.
Like, if you remember, like, he, let's look at proper context here.
This was like 10 seconds left in the game.
They were down three touchdowns.
The game was over.
He threw four picks already.
He just got sacked again.
He's probably like, yo, what the fuck?
The game is over.
Miles Garrett knows one speed.
He's coming.
He was former number one pick.
He does have four roughing the pass passer penalties this year.
He does have a lot of roughing the passer penalties, but he plays one speed.
So he roughs the passer with 10 seconds left when they're up three touchdowns.
Yeah, so once he's all Rudolph is trying to take off his helmet first.
Like Rudolph's trying to rip off Garrett's helmet.
Garrett pushes him down.
It's like, fuck you.
Took his helmet off, walked away.
His own teammates are trying to de-escalate the situation.
Mason Rudolph is following him, like trying to square up for some fucking reason.
And it gets cracked.
So, I mean, I get it.
Like, Rewinded just a little bit.
Hold on.
Where?
Oh, shit.
Pouncey fucked him up.
Yo, that guy, whatever that who's that receiver right there, there's a receiver that levels Rudolph or somebody levels Rudolph when he wasn't even looking, dude.
Yeah.
That's super cheap shot.
Guy already just got hit in the head with a boom.
Damn.
That shit look like hurt.
Did they get a replay in there?
Probably got a replay.
Oh, no, that is.
There's eight seconds left in the game.
Like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Go back right here.
Okay, boom.
All right.
Tackle there, right?
A little extra.
That's going to be great.
He's trying to take all his fucking helmet.
For what?
What the fuck's wrong with you?
Wasn't he trying to get it?
Dick pulls his shit off.
And his teammates are like, yo, game is over.
Chill out.
Chill.
This nigga's chasing after him.
I'm not, I'm not.
I mean, yes, he should probably level it for a while.
Boom.
He also, this is a bitch move.
When he gets the helmet swung at him, Rudolph, he starts looking around at the refs, like, yo, the fuck.
Like, you chased him down.
You got hit.
And then you start turning around with your arms raised.
And that's why I'm glad he got leveled extra.
Watch this.
Watch.
He gets up and look at this.
Immediately, arms up.
What's going on?
And then he gets knocked down, which is great.
And nobody even goes after that guy.
Pounties of G, Dog.
The Pounty Twins?
Yeah.
Bro.
Oh, there you go.
Look.
Oh, here it is.
Here it is.
Here it is.
Boom.
Oh, yeah.
He got him.
That didn't hit him.
Go ahead.
Watch it again.
It's not full.
Blank.
Are you kidding me?
Motherfuckers are.
Didn't that go like this on the wall?
This little soft dude.
He got.
He got fucking got.
He got got.
You know what you're like?
You're like one of those white people who are like, well, why was he being aggressive with the cop?
After he addressed what you are right now, well, why didn't he just show his ID?
He should have just showed his ID.
Why can't he just comply with the citizens?
He's like four foot.
Look at this.
Hey, wait, no, keep going.
I want you to stop it right.
Stop.
Oh, yeah.
He didn't hit him.
Son, I'm not saying he didn't hit him, but he could have hit him a lot harder is what I'm saying.
I guarantee you.
You have somebody holding him back, getting in the way of him.
Now you're shifting him.
We were talking about whether he hit him or not.
No, I wasn't.
No, I was saying that the way he hit him wasn't getting hit.
I thought he didn't really get hit.
I didn't say that he didn't hit him.
I thought he was hit.
I thought he hit the bottom of the umbrella that had the opening.
So look at the part that he hits him with.
Oh, my God.
No, that shit is.
Listen, as someone who gets hit in the head quite a lot accidentally, I understand a lot of padding.
He got a lot of padding, though.
But no, I thought it was the padding.
But look, it actually gets hit.
Oof.
That's like right at the edge of the fire.
Yeah, it's still a bad hit, but I mean, if you really swung, if you turn that shit the other way, you can kill him.
You probably would have killed him.
If you turn that shit the other way, Helmet, like, slow down.
He's going to be honest.
Imagine someone got killed.
That's so insane.
Then we would listen.
Then we'd be like, yo, maybe this is bad.
This is page of sport.
Honestly, three weeks I'd be out.
Three weeks.
How about that?
This is pretty rough.
If you want to see shit like this, I'd be like, I mean, that wasn't even part of the game.
Because just like wrestling, when Bret Hart died, people was watching right after.
Oh, Owen Hart, bro.
He died live?
Yeah.
On paper views.
He fell from a fucking stupid ass stunt.
The best deal that you've ever gotten on a pay-per-view.
Oh, my God.
To see a death live.
Hold on.
He fell.
What happened exactly?
It's all right.
So Owen Hart used to be this wrestler called the Blue Blazer, and he used to fly in from the ceiling for his entrance.
And so I guess he was waiting to do his entrance.
And when they, instead of lowering him in, like the hats just kind of gave way a little earlier, he fell down and hit his head on the corner of the ring post and died on the way to the hospital.
Oh my God.
Yeah, that's a head hit.
Yeah, that's a head hit.
Fuck.
Did they sue?
What happens in that situation?
Yeah, the Hart family sued WWE, I think.
And it was pretty bad.
It was like a really dark moment.
It was probably the darkest moment until the Ben Law shit happened.
That Ben was.
It was rough.
He like royal rumbled his family, dude.
Oh, my God.
I'm working with these motherfuckers this week.
God damn.
Westbrook Changes the Team00:16:01
Can we?
Jesus.
Last man in the ring, dude.
Yo.
Oh, my God.
No, but then I'm working with them this week, and we can't touch this at all.
I can't touch this out.
What y'all do?
I blame WWE.
Why'd you put that in his head?
He got to be the last one.
I got to go pee.
I feel like we said worse on this podcast.
Way worse, but they're not getting paid.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, he's the dick, not me.
Right?
Like, if we judge it morally, who's worse, me or Benoit?
He's clearly worse.
A good point.
It's a good point.
No, what do you mean, no?
Yeah, Andrew didn't.
I didn't.
That was his point.
Providing a hilarious metaphor for the way that he went about doing it.
That's all it is.
You know?
Anyway, Arkash, what else we got going on over here?
We haven't talked Mellow fully.
Kyrie versus Kemba.
While Kaz isn't here, BSK is getting a check on Kyrie so we can talk all the shit that we want about Kyrie.
So Kyrie goes down.
Nets immediately win.
Right?
Like, immediately win without him.
Boston killing it.
And two, number one seed in the league.
Oh, boy.
What are we thinking here?
How long before the league starts to understand that Kyrie Irving, as exciting as he is, as exhilarating as it is watching him score the basketball, is not a productive member of a basketball team?
I don't think it will happen because you're always going to have...
He's just this year's Mellow.
And you're always going to have people who just support Mellow for no reason.
We're never going to.
His talent is too tantalizing for us to say, you know what, this guy doesn't help you win games.
I just enjoy watching him when he loses.
Yeah.
Or just enjoy watching him, period.
Yeah, just enjoy it.
Visually, it's so fucking, the eyeball test tells me this guy's incredible.
Yes.
The scoreboard always tells me differently.
But the eyeball test tells me this guy's undeniably entertaining to watch.
He's Sean Kemp, right?
It's like, this is action.
This is fun.
I need to watch it.
But he cannot help his team win with the style that he's in the highlights era, man.
When you guys really believed you were going to get free agents, which is still funny to me.
But you were saying I would rather have Kemba than Kyrie a year ago around now.
And I agreed with you.
100%.
Most people thought we were idiots.
100%.
But 100%, just off sheer numbers, the Celtics only lost one guy.
Only gained one guy.
Two Horford.
They lost Horford.
Horford was really important.
Okay, so you could potentially put their losses to...
Oh, no, they got better.
Oh, my God.
And Horford's a team player.
The Sixes are significantly better with Horford.
So you lost one plus player, and you're better.
So Kemba's a huge plus player and or, you know who's a huge negative player?
Kyrie.
To get better after losing Al Horford, your all-star and like glue guy for that team and really incredible player.
Oh, yeah.
And Kemba, you get better when those two guys go.
You shouldn't get better if you lose Holorford alone.
Yeah.
But Kyrie is so detrimental to a team that even with the loss of Horford, Kyrie drags your team down so much that just eliminating that guy.
Not a team player.
Oh, no.
I'll be the first one to admit I stood on the Kyrie hill and was like, y'all don't know what y'all talking about.
He's this, this, that.
Like, they'll be fine.
You're going to get the Kyrie check right now.
And that is true.
I'm getting a Kyrie check.
Shout out to Nike.
But basketball-wise, it's like, dog, y'all hit the nail on the head.
Like, just watch it.
They just look different.
Like, the Celtics look like a special contender.
And the Celtics look more happy.
They look so happy.
The Celtics are loving life.
Gordon Hayward was back, and then he went down.
They kept winning.
Kyrie was so fucking up, was fucking up so bad.
Like, people thought Brad Stevens overrated with Kyrie.
I still think he's overrated.
Brad Stevens gone.
He's back to being the genius coach again.
Funny how that works.
And Kemba's playing well.
I haven't been watching many games, but Kemba is playing well.
I've watched them a lot, and the difference between Kyrie and Kemba is Kemba makes sure everybody else gets theirs the first three quarters because the fourth quarter.
Yeah, I heard that it's all Kemba.
Jason Tatum gets his.
First three quarters, Kemba taking care of everybody else.
Fourth quarter, it's my time.
We all understand that.
But the first three quarters, I'm taking Carrie.
Yeah, Jason Tatum's going to get his.
Jalen Brown's getting the best.
Everybody, get yours.
Fourth quarter.
Haywards.
It's my time, and we know that's for the best, right?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
And if you're getting the ball for three quarters, it's like, yeah, I mean, sure, this is the best player.
Let him close out.
I'm happy.
I love this.
So Kemba has a real like swag, a real like big dick energy over there.
This makes me so happy.
So Kemba and Brad Stevens and the team all understand that Kemba is the OG.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And they all fall in line with that.
Yeah.
And wow, this is interesting.
I didn't know Kemba was that guy.
I knew that.
When he came in Charlotte, I knew Kemba's clutch and I knew that he could deliver, but I didn't know that he would have the type of alpha energy to walk into an already successful playoff team, be an added piece, and then go, it's my time in the fourth.
I thought that would be Jason.
I thought Jason would be like, I'm stepping up into that role now.
But if Kemba is the guy, I mean, I think it's more of a Brad Stevens call tool, too.
He loves his guards.
He loves his point guards.
Brad loves his guards.
But at the same time, when it comes to the white boys playing so well, what's his name?
I mean, he's injured, but like all the bad.
He looked like how he looked in Utah.
So it's just like, man, a lot of people have different ways of leading, man.
Like, some people have to do it.
You know what the most important component of this podcast is?
We have fun.
Yes.
It's not works.
Punchlines or topics.
It is, let's just sit in a room and have fun, and everything else will take care of itself.
Yes.
Basketball probably ain't that different.
It's hypothesis of fun.
And them motherfuckers, if you watch Brooklyn, Brooklyn ain't having no fun.
All they were last year was fun, and it carried them to a six.
I would watch them last year.
Like, I'm not jealous of them this year.
Last year, I would watch them like, I wish my team was this fun.
Every fucking man saying that all the time.
The whole fucking bench doing the 6'9 dances.
Yeah.
Fucking Jared Dudley fucking talking shit with Benson.
Like, it was lit in there.
They were having fun.
Like, D'Angelo Russell, they lost a lot of those guys that made that team that team.
They're a different team now.
They have maybe more talent.
Holy moly.
But it's just like, oh, like chemistry and leadership and just fucking liking each other.
Kyrie people think that's just something you can sweep under.
He is a complete cancer and he has begun to erode the Brooklyn Nets from the inside out.
What a shame because they were on the perfect path to really running the East.
They built themselves the right way.
They built themselves the right way.
They had money.
That's why I didn't think they were going to be.
That's why I didn't think they were going to get Kyrie.
I was like, they couldn't.
What's wrong with D'Angelo Russell?
Yo, why not go for Kemba?
You have the money.
Or that.
Or that.
But I honestly think they just wanted to beat the Knicks.
They didn't want to be a championship team.
They wanted to be the team in New York.
They were in New York.
They wanted a team in New York.
And in order to be the team in New York, you need the stars.
But also, everybody said, go ahead.
Go no, go.
Everybody said Kyrie's the best point guard.
You take him over Kemba.
We were the only ones I know saying Kemba over Kyrie.
That's true.
Everybody else was like, nah, you take Kyrie.
As soon as they got them, they said, that's it.
It's a wrap.
They're going to win.
And granted, skill-wise, as much as I love shitting on you guys and your misery for not getting either of them, I think long-term you're going to be okay.
KD might not be the same after this Achilles.
The Knicks can't think long term, and that is one of our problems.
But I agree with you if we actually stick to the course.
What's interesting about the Nets is the first time they make a non-basketball-related decision, it bites him in the ass, right?
Every decision prior to Kyrie was basketball, right?
Even KD's basketball.
Getting the cap room, getting all those picks.
Like everything after the horrible, I think it was Celtics Trailer.
Celtics trade was all basketball, right?
They make one decision based on branding of the Nets.
We want to be New York team, New York's team, so let's get these big names here that have sneaker deals, et cetera.
And that one non-basketball-related decision sends your franchise into the fucking basketball.
They're ninth in the East right now.
Purgatory.
They're not even in the public name.
In the East, yo.
Kyrie's hurt, Carrice Lavert's hurt.
Oh, Kyrie's hurt?
Oh, Jess.
Does he have a history of that?
I don't understand.
I thought Kyrie was indestructible.
Or I thought even when he plays, he's so good it doesn't matter that he gets hurt.
So I'm sure as soon as he went down, the Nets just completely tanked, right?
Listen, the good thing about this show is that I don't have to bullshit on takes.
If I have a bad take and I'm wrong about it, I'll own that shit.
I thought Kyrie was the best point guard available.
I thought he was just in a bad situation in Boston.
I thought it was fucking, why would anybody want to play in Boston?
Like, I thought, oh, it was just the city and he's going to go to a different situation.
Yo, KG loved Boston.
KG, the blackest dude the NBA's seen in 20 years.
That's facts.
That's facts.
While we're talking about shoulder injuries, before we get out of here, I think we should acknowledge new shoulder, new shoulder Paul George.
Oh, yeah.
Is going to be a problem.
Really?
Drop 37 in 20 minutes.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
With no Kawhi.
With no Kawhi.
And he's been battling these shoulder injuries for years, apparently.
And I guess he got surgery on both of them.
I'm not exactly sure.
Half the playoffs, he got scoped.
Both, yeah.
Both surgeries.
Who knows?
Maybe it doesn't keep it.
But if you have.
That team is scary.
I know that the Lakers are having some fun right now.
They're on top of the West, whatever.
Still like the Lakers, man.
But at the end of the day, you're going to have to guard Paul George and Kawhi.
And LeBron ain't going to want to lock down Kawhi.
And AD cannot lock down Paul George.
If LeBron has a crypto, it's Kawhi.
That being said, LeBron might fuck around to be MVP again this year.
He's averaging nearly a triple double.
Hey, man, that shit is all cute.
How many times has he won the MVP and the finals in the same year?
Once?
Never had a guy like Anthony Davis on his team either.
Listen, it's different now.
We can admit it's different now.
And if Kyle Kuzma can, you know, step into that third guy role, I don't know.
They need depth, man.
They need a third guy.
They need a third guy.
Kyle needs to step up, and we'll see if he's got the balls to do it.
Because at the end of the day, it really comes down to that.
It's do you feel like you could shoot the ball?
You have LeBron James on your team and Anthony Davis on your team.
You have to still feel, you have to have the NBA confidence that makes you go, I deserve the rock and I deserve to hoist it up.
And to be completely honest, like Kevin Love, say how you, regardless of how you feel about Kevin Love, Kevin Love felt when he got the ball at that three-point line.
Shooting.
Hoist.
Yeah.
Hoist.
And I think I assume that LeBron is looking at Kuzma going, you can be a version of that.
You're not going to be as lighted out as Kev, but you can be a version of that.
You nod your head.
What do you mean?
No, I'm just looking at the standings.
I had no idea the Rockets were in second place.
Oh, yeah.
I had no fucking idea.
What?
Yeah.
I mean, James Harden has been on a historic to the point where we haven't even seen Westbrook Highlights.
Think about it.
Have you guys seen Westbrook Highlights?
Yo, can we talk about it?
Go.
Can we fucking talk about it?
I've been trying to fucking change the narrative on Russell Westbrook for the past four fucking years.
Every wing player that has played with Russell Westbrook in the past four or five years has either gotten better or become an MVP candidate.
Kevin Durant, Ola Depot, Paul George, and now James Harden, who was already an MVP, is somehow playing better.
Ola Depot's name until he left, though, right?
Because I remember that being the big narrative.
Right.
Oh, Ola Depo left Russ and look how good he got.
It's when he left and went to Indiana that he got really good.
It was like, oh, he was holding Ola Depot back all of a sudden, which is ridiculous.
But the point is, the point is, he stepped up when he got away from Russ.
Yeah, had to.
But Russ's, you know what I mean?
Like, people like to look at numbers and be like, people have empty stats.
But, like, if you have a guy who can get you 10 assists and a guy who can get you 30 in his sleep, things are going to fucking work out.
Like, assist or assist our assists.
The ball is moving.
People are touching it.
You are getting people easy shots.
You are getting a guy who can get shots as difficult as possible, easy fucking shots.
And it's because of Westbrook.
Like, Westbrook has changed that team.
He's doing something that Chris Paul couldn't do, which is also not be a fucking liability on the other side.
I'm not ready to put this team in the finals at all yet, but if they made it to the finals, how much does that change the narrative on Kevin Durant?
Which team?
If the Rockets make it to the finals.
I think that Kevin's history is solidified by how horrible the Warriors are without him.
It's fair.
It's without him and Clay.
Yes, but we're going to look at this team as with Dal Katie.
I agree with if you put Clay back in the picture and there's no Iggy.
There's other things.
I think history will look back and they'll go, damn, when he's going to get a lot of money.
Yeah, that'll overwhelm the other stats.
Even though it might not be statistically accurate.
I agree.
Okay, I got you.
But it is an interesting thing going on here, which is like James Harden, in my opinion, is a more elite scorer than Kevin Durant.
Some people might not agree with me, but I feel like James is like truly unstoppable maybe for the first like 70 games of the season, 65.
And I think that he starts to gas out towards the end, and then the playoffs are like really grueling for him.
But I think he's just truly an unstoppable scorer.
You cannot stop him one-on-one.
There's nothing you can do.
And I want nothing more.
I want nothing more than a Western Conference playoff series with Kawhi Leonard and James Harden.
Paul George and Russell Westbrook.
And seeing the two of them switch around because they're going to switch around on each other.
And seeing Russell and James attack the two best defenders, arguably, in the league right now.
I mean, that is going to be fucking phenomenal.
Forget the Lakers.
Whoever they play, they play.
I don't even care.
The series for me is Rockets.
Clippers.
Clippers.
We should talk about Mello before I know that you got to run out of here.
The Clubers got six minutes.
Okay.
So real quick, Mellow's on the Portland Trailblazers.
I mean, I guess Portland has realized that this season is a wash, and we might as well get a lot of lottery pick or something like that.
So they picked up the one guy, the anchor.
And by anchor, I don't mean someone who holds your team together.
I mean someone that will drag your team to the bottom of the ocean.
Carmelo Anthony is now a Portland Trailblazer and the Trailblazers are keeping up to their name and blazing new trails.
John wants to stand to the bottom of the standings.
What's your take on that?
They're already at the bottom of the standings.
I think it's a nice move for them.
They're super thin at power forwards, which is why they picked them up.
The game's gotten a little smaller since Mello was like really killing.
Crazy Shows and Ticket Announcements00:07:26
I think he's going to do better than people expect.
Like he doesn't need to guard small forwards anymore.
He can guard motherfuckers like Draymond Green and like 6'8, 6'9 guys that aren't like seven-foot shooting power forwards.
I think he'll be all right.
Is he gonna average 20?
No.
If he could hit some open shots and play some semblance of defense, I think he'll help the Blazers a lot because it's still the dame loaded and CJ McCollum show over there.
And if he has a good attitude, I think he'll be fine.
I think it's good that he's in the Pacific Northwest, so he doesn't have a shit ton of nationally televised games to people to fucking break down his every fucking move like he did in New York and Houston.
I think it's going to work out better than people expect.
Yeah, Houston's a giant market.
I think it's actually not a bad move for the Blazers in that their season was already falling apart.
They don't seem happy.
It seemed like getting swept by the Warriors really fucked with them.
Because, like, that they thought they had a puncher's chance at Thunder Show.
I think I might have picked him.
Yeah.
Wow.
Which looks dumb as fuck now.
Katie was hurt.
You're like, yo, Stephen Dame.
Dame had been going off all playoffs.
CJ has been going off all play.
And then you get fucking swept by a KD list Warriors.
And I think they're just not the same this year.
But it's kind of unfair, though, because they got Vintage Warriors.
They lost.
Nurkic is still hurt, or Jurkich, or whatever his name is.
They didn't have him.
And they lost someone else, I think.
But then they picked up Hassan Whiteside, who I thought would be good.
He's a bummer.
He's another mellow type.
It's just like, I think he just makes your team more bomb.
And now they were four and eight when they signed Mellow.
So it's like you got to do something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
I know, Kaz, whenever you got to go, you go for it.
You got the Uber on the way.
I guess the Uber gets here.
But just before we leave, I just want to say to everybody who came out in Boston this past weekend, this is a very important weekend for me because I did two shows at the Wilbur Theater.
And the Wilbur Theater in well, Boston in general has created my favorite comics in history.
Like all my favorite comics.
Patrice O'Neill, you know, Bill Bird, Louis C.K., like Dane Cook.
I'm serious.
Like hate on him all you want to.
He's a Boston guy.
Yo, Joe Rogan.
I mean, Sarah Silverman, Jay Leno, like literally all the best comics come out of Boston.
And it's just this amazing comedy city.
It's really amazing.
And like it, it means something there to like do the Wilbur, right?
The Wilbur is that first step up into, oh, you're a theater guy.
And then to do the Wilbur twice, especially in this city has produced like these comics that like I've just been such a huge, huge fan of.
It was a true honor.
And I'm just grateful for everybody who came out.
And thank you guys so much for being there.
And yeah, I just want to say that it was just truly awesome.
And I try to reflect on these times in the moment.
And we just had some crazy, we had some crazy fucking shows, man.
We had a guy propose to his girl at the first show.
That shit was crazy.
You know how big of a fucking fan of yours you got to be?
And that's not even a joke, man.
Like, I just did this.
You think about special things.
That's so dope for someone to be like, yo, they have such a bond over Andrew Schultz that he said, this is where I want to propose.
That shit wasn't just for him.
I promise you it wasn't.
It was crazy.
That's dope, man.
I think we'll probably post the video this week.
Absolutely.
Fuck this guy's consent.
Post the video.
You already gave that shit.
Yeah, he married.
He don't get consented.
I'm going to get into it.
Anyway, so it was sick, man.
It was just so cool to do that.
And I'm excited for the New York shows.
Excuse me.
I'm excited for the New York shows this week.
Akash, you're going to be there.
Yep.
Yep.
And so, yeah, and Kaz, hopefully, Akash is going to be performing.
But, Kaz, please be there in the audience, hopefully, if you're there.
I'm actually, this weekend will be the first time I'm working with WWE again.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
I'll be in Chicago.
Oh, don't worry about it then, man.
Shout out to, you know, I want to be there.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to try and make it there in some way, shape, or form.
Still trying to figure it a way out.
But yeah, I'll be in Chicago with WWE hosting their Road to Survivor Series show with Cricket Wireless as talent for the first time.
Was Survivor Series what they called Chris Benoit family?
All right, I'll see how next week, gotcha.
You know, that's why they call the Hart family.
Yo, son.
I can't shoot, bro.
Oh, fuck shit.
Fuck shit.
Anyway.
So, yeah, man, it was just, it was just super cool.
Thank you guys so much for all y'all came out.
And we got new shows coming up.
New dates were adding to the tour every single week right now.
And then a cool little announcement coming up.
There are two cool announcements coming up.
I'm just got to wait for the right time to share them with y'all.
But two very cool things happening.
But that should be in the coming days.
But yo, DeAndrewSchultz.com, check out those tickets.
We just announced we're added Minnesota.
We're going to do the film or out there.
But we got Seattle at a second show in Seattle, Neptune Theater.
Go get that.
That's the seventh.
Then we got Salt Lake City.
We saw that first show.
So we're in a second show there as well.
That link is up.
And then we got Vancouver.
That show sold out.
They don't want to add another one.
We might do a little pop-up one on the side somewhere.
I got to talk about that because I know a lot of people have been asking tickets for that one.
And then we got Edmonton as well.
We got Louisiana.
National Schultzy.
Yo, man, we're doing it, baby.
We're doing it, man.
Yeah, so check out New Orleans.
We added that one as well.
Tickets are up.
Go get them.
I cost what you got.
And then take us out of here, bro.
December 20th and 21st, I'm in Mumbai at the Habitat Comedy Club.
Ticket link will be live on my website soon.
Then into the new year, I'm going to be in India most of December doing engagement stuff.
So we're taking a little break then.
Then the Big Daisy Energy Tour picks up in the new year.
January 9th, Hilarities in Cleveland.
Some people have already bought tickets.
Thank you guys.
Appreciate that.
January 14th, New Jersey.
I'm in New Brunswick at the Stress Factory.
That's my favorite club.
Y'all got to come through.
Mad Daisy's.
If this show ain't 60% Daisy, I might cancel that motherfucker.
When is it?
January 14th.
I'm in town.
I'm coming.
Come through, yo.
And then January 15th, I am in Philly at Helium.
Then January 28th, I am in Tacoma at the Tacoma Comedy Club in Washington.
The 29th, I am in Sacramento at the punchline.
Then the 30th or the 1st, I am in San Jose at Rooster TF.
January 14th.
January 14th, Stress Factory.
I'm in there, yo.
Let's do it.
I'm pulling up.
Let's do it.
Anyway, go get them tickets.
AkashSing.com, DeAndrewSchultz.com.
Appreciate y'all so much, man.
Keep supporting all the content that we got coming out, the dropping ins, the unsafe sets.
We got some sexy shit cooking up, man.
Can't wait to announce.
We love y'all.
Keep it tight.
Also, by the way, in case y'all were wondering, we're a top 20 Patreon in the motherfucking world, and we want to smoke with every one of them 19s.
We're telling the patrons in the episode last Friday, we let them know that we're top 20.
But we put the asshole army up against any of y'all Patreon armies, okay?
We want it all, and we're coming for it.
We're coming for that top 10, and we're coming for that top five, and then we're going number one.
All right?
Let's chop those trap house about to get chopped up.