Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the "Mrs. Steal Your Girl" episode, featuring guests in costumes like an inflatable Popeye's chicken sandwich and debating racial dynamics in dating versus OnlyFans culture. They analyze Kanye West's "Jesus Is King," arguing it may drive Black Americans toward atheism, while contrasting Tyler Perry's targeted success with Jay-Z's broader appeal. The conversation shifts to NFL dominance, praising Nick Bosa and Bill Belichick's ego-free system before critiquing the Golden State Warriors' struggles without Klay Thompson and Kevin Durant. Ultimately, the hosts blend explicit comedy with cultural critiques on celebrity influence and athletic strategy. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome to House of Flagrancy00:08:17
Everybody, listen up.
I mean, you guys know what happened to me.
You know, I walked right into that pole, but the pole was bent.
Okay?
The pole should not have been bent like that.
And I got injured.
Okay?
Now, when you get injured, you should be entitled some compensation for that.
Don't get dunked on by an insurance company.
You call Morgan and Morgan, and they'll fight to get you full compensation after a car crash or other injury, for example, walking into a pole on the street.
They've recovered billions of dollars for people, and hiring them is 100% free unless you win.
Free, unless you win, free, unless you win.
Do you hear that?
It does not cost you anything to hire them unless you win.
You just visit forthepeople.com forward slash flagrant for a free case review.
I'm doing it.
I got to get my head checked.
You got it, yo.
I got to get a check for my head check.
See, he didn't learn his lesson.
They got to learn their lesson.
How are they going to treat the crown prince like that?
Anyway, this episode has been brought to you by Morgan and Morgan.
Time to get the episode started.
It's a wild one.
It's a wild.
Let's just start right now and begin.
Kaz is late.
Kaz is late again.
I don't know what.
I don't know how late you got like, and this is the best excuse that he's given by far.
Hakash, what was his excuse for being late today?
I got to put on my Halloween costume.
Yo, we literally said, how far out?
He's like, five minutes.
He was.
Matter of fact, y'all start without me.
I got to put on my Halloween costume.
This guy better walk in here as a fucking Autobot.
You better put.
Holy shit.
Here it is.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God, son.
Yo, it's actually worth it.
So, you know what?
Close the door all the way.
Close the door all the way.
I'll tell you why I'm late and upset.
No, close the door all the way.
It all fits the stereotype.
Hold on, one second.
Kaz, for those of you who can't see, Kaz is dressed as a Popeye's chicken sandwich.
This is one of the most amazing things.
This goes with the yo, you got to go in between Wheezy's buns, and then you really are a Popeye's chicken sandwich.
This is perfect, bro.
So I'm doing the fuck.
Hold on, put the CEO.
Oh, my God.
What an entertaining way.
I don't like this shit, bro.
Five minutes.
Actually, this shit's not inflating, so I'm mad as fuck.
So I'm just so funny, bro.
All right, open up the top part a little bit.
Dude.
It looks like a shower cap.
So Kaz is in a full chicken costume.
So it's supposed to inflate.
Right, right, right, right.
I could see out of all this shit.
Do you need me to help you blow?
Stupid.
You know, that's why you guys brought me up.
There's like a fan in here that you press and plug in.
Right.
And it inflates into a big fucking, you know.
I need you to get your face out of that fucking costume.
Yeah, this is a lot.
Fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And push that head through the hole.
Now Akash is spreading it for him.
I don't think that's coming off.
And also, we're just going to hear that thing wish the entire episode.
Babies get through wounds.
You got this shit.
Oh, God.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Wow.
And we're here.
Is there a blacker costume than the one you have on right now?
Whatever you're wearing.
Okay.
What is your costume?
You don't wear a costume.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody, slow down.
We have costumes for everybody here except myself.
I fucked up.
I apologize.
It was kind of my idea to wear the costume.
I know.
My one concern is the costume will be making too much sound.
Eden, you keep that.
Make sure you listen to that.
We are all here in costume.
Got you, buddy.
Thanks.
Akash, you are next.
Yep.
What, okay, would you like to deliver the costume?
Now, Akash doesn't look like he's in costume right now.
For everybody listening, I will describe it.
He's just wearing a black members-only jacket and black pants and black shoes and black shoes.
And then you unzip the shirt.
Okay.
Okay.
At Akash Singh.
Okay.
At Andrew Schultz.
Okay.
At Alex Media.
Okay.
At Wheezy WTF.
Oh, and at Donald Trump Jr.
Okay.
I am the IT shadow ban.
Oh, I'm not on the show.
Ed didn't get shadow banned.
Ed didn't get shadow banned.
Oh, let me see that.
I still am.
Oh, that's good, dude.
Why you had to put me by him?
By who?
Donald.
Oh, y'all are besties, yo.
Shit.
I just had to go podcast first, to be honest.
Okay.
This is great.
This is great.
Okay, this is very good.
It's a very good.
Did you do this last minute?
Oh, definitely.
I had the plan of doing it yesterday, but my back was fucked.
I couldn't even get out of bed.
So I did it today, and that's why I was late.
Okay, right now, Weezy, what do you got on?
I am an LA Rider die, bitch.
Not going to say what you think.
Cholo?
Can't use that word.
You can't say chola?
I just don't want to be problematic, but you shut the fuck up, Ceezy.
Put the fucking things in guys' asses.
You're not even going to say fucking.
But I couldn't get my accent down, which is why I didn't want to unlock it.
No, that was an exciting.
You can't do a Mexican.
I can't fucking do it.
Let me tell you guys.
I think because I grew up in Florida, like.
You look very Mexican.
Like, you're pulling it off.
I look very much Mexican.
But that has nothing to do with the sound of the accent.
No, but we don't really fucking know.
We don't need accuracy.
Andrew got this great joke he put up yesterday on Diwali.
His Indian accent is pretty good for a white dude, but it's not like...
Is it?
But my Indian accent.
But it's not good.
I didn't hear my Indian accent?
No, I just hear you.
It should have hit it.
What's my favorite fruit?
What's my favorite fruit, yo?
How.
Cool's light.
That sounds Japanese.
Yeah, that's how sounds.
Native American.
You're doing Native American.
Okay, so here's something you have to understand, Weezy.
Right now, you are in the House of Flagrancy.
That's why I went with the Mexican.
I mean, we're going to get there.
So in the House of Flagrancy, there's no such thing as woke.
There's no such thing as problematic.
There's no such thing as toxic.
There's no such thing as anything.
So in this space right here, you can operate however you'd like to operate.
What happened?
Yo, our bad shitty ass fucking system that we got over here shut down, but you know, soon we won't have to deal with these types of things.
That's all I'll say.
Back to wait.
Where were we?
We were just talking about.
About how I need to be asleep this whole episode.
Oh, yeah.
This episode is the house of flagrancy.
You are asleep, right?
This is the house of flagrancy, meaning nobody that listens to this podcast will judge you for a single thing you say because, as long as it's all in the guise of humor, because that's what this is about.
This is a conversation with your friends in front of 150,000 people.
Real quick, that's what it is.
The guise of humor means we're pretending to be funny and we're actually being hateful.
We're doing it while being funny.
To be fair, I know where I am.
Just needed to correct just so you don't get no shit on it.
I'll be honest, that first five minutes, I needed to pander to my followers, and they'd be like, okay, she's cool.
She's like, your followers can turn this shit off.
No, they can't.
They're ready for me.
Let's go back.
Anybody that's listening to this podcast right now, because Weezy is on it, we want to say you are welcome.
You're welcome to the house of flagrancy that you're in.
But you decided to click on this.
You have nothing to fucking do today.
I'm just trying to do some tour problem, okay?
We're bored at work and you want some distraction.
And we're going to distract you in the way that we know how by saying some absolutely deplorable things for the next hour and a half.
Maybe.
I'm 100% doing an accent that's going to make someone curse me out on top of the story.
Stop it.
And I want to.
I can't do it in my house.
So that being said, that being said, every time you apologize or you say problematic or toxic or something like that, I get spanked.
There is.
The Mandy Feet Incident00:12:07
What?
I'm trying to think who would administer the punishment.
All you guys are girlfriends.
Yeah, none of us can really do anything here.
It got to be Eden.
Why?
It got to be Eden.
Me and Alex are brother and sister.
Yeah, that shouldn't happen.
Honestly, I do notice you did come by yourself.
This is a great idea.
Young brother and sister like Game of Thrones.
Chola that did.
Eden hasn't slapped.
All right, you guys have something to spank me with?
No, no, no, no, because then it's like, I want you to be spanked.
I don't want.
We have to do something that you don't want.
Right.
Oh, bro, come on.
This is like when you took me to a White House and was like doing it to me on purpose.
You're just going to make it.
It was so easy to get you to the White House, by the way.
I just want to point that out.
You went to the front.
We went to the White House.
It's where the president lives.
All right.
He ain't thank you.
Like the actual White House.
I'm thinking it's like a hit.
Anyways, Kami was going up to the game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We make her put her feet on the table.
Why?
What happened?
You don't like people staring at your feet, right?
Oh, my God.
What you doing?
That woman loves her feet.
She has like a whole foot account, right?
That's not me.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
All whores don't look alike.
Rice, cats.
That's fucked up.
Mandy got a foot account.
Mandy does have a foot account.
People are really bad.
You delete Mandy's feet.
Well, they say that it's sex work, and a lot of people feel like it isn't.
I'm not going to lie.
I was looking at Mandy's feet.
Mandy got some nice feet.
Mandy Toast.
Yo, get Mandy.
Mandy's sending Chola.
Mandy has nice feet.
Bro?
Get her foot up.
I'm never sick of the top.
What you typing in?
Are you typing in Mandy's feet to cheat?
Are they gone?
Just shut the fuck up over there.
Jesus Christ.
Why would happen?
Nothing.
Nothing.
No worries.
Motherfucker be bobbling alley oops.
You don't even got to throw it.
You're getting like a soccer assist.
You two away from the fucking goal.
Listen.
What I was setting up was some commentary that I had made on Mandy's feet.
I love.
I think she has.
Look at, let's get a good foot up.
No, she had a foot account.
She has a whole foot account.
They deleted it, though.
They deleted it.
You can't just have an account full of feet.
At first, I thought it was deleted because I thought she was accepting payment.
Then we were talking about on the pod.
She's like, no, just literally pictures of my feet.
People were putting emojis.
Instagram is doing this thing where they're starting to ban people that are using like peach emojis, eggplant emojis, and drip signs.
Really?
They're going through DMs.
We had some sex workers on that were talking about it.
Because I guess feet pages are sex work.
But she's going to start an OnlyFans.
What is an OnlyFans?
It's the site that you can pay for porn on.
Yes.
Yes.
I don't know if it's all porn because I don't really think feet is too much of porn, depending on what you do with it.
I'm confused.
So there are girls that I follow that are naked and they just cover their breasts.
They have their butt cheeks showing.
That is more sexual than a foot account.
I completely agree with you, but...
What's their reasoning?
I think that maybe feet is just too weird for people.
Like, I think it just becomes too kinky.
Like, we're so used to seeing titties and ass, but you see someone with a foot page, you're like, what a whore.
Let's pause.
You know what I mean?
Feet are way more utilitarian.
But I think it's because if you're putting your feet out, it's like a for sure fetish.
Like, there's no way you can be like, nah, I'm just a cobbler.
You know what I mean?
We can't like try to make that shit not sexual.
Can we not do this, man?
Why?
Why are we doing this?
Yo, Al, you got PTSD from last time.
I have PTSD.
Why?
You hear how Mandy has amazing feet.
Stop.
I'm literally just trying to go there so this doesn't turn into a bad thing.
This is something that's not doing this.
I do not understand.
Hold on, hold on, guys.
We got to not talk over each other.
Now, this is something that's very important.
If you sign up for a foot account and you want to put your feet on the internet, you can't be upset if people want to talk about how nice your feet are.
I mean, I agree.
And I think it started from pictures like this just with toes.
And then she's like, fuck it, guys.
Love my feet.
Like, let's go hard.
And so when she started the page, I think she said it lasted five hours.
Free Mandy's feet, yo.
I looked at it.
She had one foot, like, she had one foot pig where like her foot was like kind of like crinkled.
Like, it looked like.
She had a foot to come and teach her how to scrunch them and shit.
Women, where scrunched or the thing?
Like, that's what I want to know.
Like, I don't, where's the appeal in like feet?
Like, I know you're into feet.
Yes.
It can't just be feet.
Yeah, it can.
People are going to be able to do that.
I don't know the appeal either, but the only thing I hear, two things when people leave comments about my feet is staircase toes and my arch, which I don't really get.
But staircase toe is important.
Descending toe length.
Yes, descending toe length.
Because normally, I guess, like you get the index toe, which is bigger.
Like, my middle toe is bigger than longer than my big toe.
You're whole.
So I guess nobody wants to.
Also, you probably.
My toe length is probably like the last thing that's truly about it.
Oh, he never put lotion on his feet.
He was the inspiration for that show.
He was the when I imagined when we were having the accent off and I was doing the African accent, I was imagining his feet.
When I said everything I said, I imagined Kaz's feet.
Kaz's feet are still from Africa.
Everything else from him is from Staten Island.
His feet are still from Africa.
They're still in Africa.
Dog, they are still there.
They are still fucking there.
You know what?
You know, it's exactly a year or something.
You're here right now, but your feet are actually running away from a fucking rhinoceros as we speak.
They are, bro.
It is insane.
I believe that's what made me pay for your Patreon.
That's why I don't want to support you guys.
I love you so much.
The lotion on Kaz's feet.
I was like, oh, I got feet.
That was a fantastic day, too.
I think that's probably the last time anyone or lotion of my feet.
Your girl doesn't love me.
I can't believe it.
He would never come to me.
I would have put her through that.
Why would I?
That's not a good thing.
You're a good man.
No, I'm happy to be back.
The last time I was here was traumatic.
Why?
What happened?
You got to go to like couples therapy.
I missed it.
Yo, you're the reason.
You were the catalyst behind our therapy episode.
Therapy between you and Mandy.
Yes.
And you guys are good now.
And how are the numbers on that episode, might I ask?
Pretty good, right?
I hate the oldest guy.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
The point is.
Andrew, I know how to make content.
She won't say how to make content.
Thank you, man.
Yo, thank you.
You know how to make content.
I thought my show was breaking up.
But you're so popping.
Now you're on a fucking worldwide tour.
You guys are on a tour.
Yes, you do.
Can I tell you guys?
I made a short film for Horrible Decisions to open our show, right?
And it starts with a therapy episode.
And I wanted to be the therapist in it.
She was like, no.
Why not?
Because it's fucking traumatic.
So who ended up being a therapist?
Just some random dude.
We got a Santa.
What was so traumatic about it?
I don't understand.
I think that, honestly, I'm grateful now for it.
Yeah, you've grown.
But what was traumatic about that experience is like, in the moment, I really didn't know how it would go from then on.
You know what I mean?
And what was awesome?
You thought the show was going to be over?
That's how it felt.
Like, because we were so angry.
But what it really is.
What were you angry about?
People really.
Hold on.
What were you angry about?
I don't understand.
I wasn't angry.
She was angry.
Wait, was this the whole thing with Alex?
That was the last time you were on here?
Yes, you were on here after that.
No, because what didn't you, didn't Alex.
Mandy came.
Didn't we surprise you with something?
Oh, yeah, but I was here for like 10 minutes when Alex got out of jail.
Wow, every time I'm here.
Okay, well, that counts.
I knew you were here another time.
No, I was thinking, I think what was horrible for that episode, no pun, is that I genuinely thought it happened.
And then it just seemed like this thing where I was trying to be a bitch, but I was really pissed because I thought we were besties and I thought he was a fucking liar.
And you didn't want him to lie to you.
Yeah.
To be fair, I thought it happened too because Andrew was the only one that know the joke.
Yo, his poker.
I was just like, oh, dog, your fucking poker face was so good.
And to be fair, I'm glad we have you back because we do want to say something.
What we were telling the truth.
Brad, stop.
I'm fucking seen there.
We have 17 cities to go.
I'm going to pump Mandy's feet on my page.
You're going to see no one you're going to do.
Alex the one that showed me the foot page.
Yo, fine-ass feet.
You're a petty ass nigga.
Turn that shit off right now.
Yo, we fucking pulling up that episode.
Please pull it up, Eddie.
Listen, y'all.
Y'all lived through it so y'all got through it so we can go back to the broken shit.
You know what's not funny about that?
People know me from the episode.
Like, I literally had a lot of shit.
You deserve it.
Oh, thanks.
Hold on.
I jerked off a water bottle.
Hold on.
Andrew's dick.
Hold on, I was there for that episode.
Jerking off a water bottle is shocking, right?
That's momentary content.
What we created is a conversation.
Juicy.
People like juicy, not shocking.
Exactly.
Juicy.
Oh, yeah.
Look at your face.
Look at her face.
Dude, you look like a burn victim.
What the fuck is going on in that picture right there?
I just left the gym.
Damn, look how much more wealthy you look now.
You've really glowed up since then.
Oh, and now I'm trying to get it.
This is better.
You know what?
I don't want to talk about this.
Damn.
What?
What a distress.
Stop being upset.
You got to stop yourself.
I was like low-key still trying to fuck Kaz back then.
Oh, shit.
It's on him.
It's on him.
I was just playing.
Look at how he was talking to him.
Let me tell you how my natural guilt came out.
I meet Kaz's girl while she's pregnant.
And I'm like so excited to meet her because at this point, I've known Kaz for what, two years by the time I meet his girl.
I've been told that I've been in the middle of fuck Kaz for two years or two.
Maybe six months of it.
So I give her a hug.
She's too hard.
It isn't her to know a guy for more than six months.
That's like a very hard.
I've known all of you for more than six months.
I'm doing well.
Well, you're trying to fuck Akash's girl.
So, I mean, you weren't trying to get me to talk about it.
You were trying to fuck Akash's girl.
You were trying to fuck Akash.
Yep.
When was that?
Can you just at least let the people fucking see you?
God damn, Mandy.
I got a pipe.
Yo, I'm lazy.
Who's he all?
Yo, Mandy's feet are in everybody's brain.
I can't stop thinking about the feet.
I've got a picture of her toe.
Her toe is oiled up and it's curled like this and it looks like a youth baseball mitt.
It's a gorgeous little foot, I'm telling you.
It looks like a little youth soccer mitt.
You just want to throw softballs at that shit.
Yo, Mandy's going to get rich and quit the show because of her feet.
Seriously.
She's going to get what?
Alex Media.
I don't suppose.
Al, shut the fuck up, yo.
Ow, stop, stop.
You're ruining the flagrancy.
Wait a clip, Eddie.
Why are we so afraid of a girl that don't put no fucking money in our pocket?
No, wait, no, I didn't finish.
I thought.
So I meet Kaz's girl.
I give her a huge hug.
She's smiling because she's a sweetie.
And the first thing out of my drunk mouth at the flagrant watch party is, I know I was talking about his dick.
I didn't mean it.
She's like, oh, it's cool.
I know everything's jokes.
I'm like, well.
Okay, no, I do remember.
Yo, you're not sure.
She was cool about it because she thought I was joking.
Son, I'm scared for you.
We're about to see a chicken with his head cut off.
Ah, it's good.
That's good.
But we've all grown and become friends since, which is nice.
But you know what?
Oh, catch that up, Cassie.
Catch that up.
Because this girl lives in it right now.
She is going through it.
She absolutely is.
God damn it.
Keep flapping your rings, Can't you?
Chickens can't fly, Cass.
Chickens can't fly out of here.
You gotta buck yourself out of here, bro.
God damn.
I'm trying to go home.
Trying to get out of the coop right now.
She's about to have you in the chicken coop, man.
I love her too.
Chicken Head Cut Off00:02:47
And you guys.
I know her.
To be fair, if anyone's getting it, it has to be Akash.
I don't know what it is.
She's so fun.
One of my favorite episodes I've ever done is Akash and his girl talking about their first sexual experience.
And she wore this glittery top.
And she just felt innocent, but I could tell she kind of dressed a little whorish for horrible decisions.
No shade.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll box you right here.
Bad backing on.
We can fucking do it.
I can't even really bend my spine.
We finna fucking box yo.
So you're trying to be a girl with glitter on the regular.
Yeah.
Doesn't she sound like every douchebag?
Who's like, yo, she was feeling defense.
I was gonna say, she was trying to fuck you.
So she was breathing out of her nose and breathing oxygen and she was asking for it.
She was trying to get fucked, bro.
I hate when I'm nervous.
You saw the way she was walking left foot them, right-foot dogs?
She was really trying to get it, son.
I want to take it back now.
Every girl that says thank you to me.
I'm looking at this.
You can just compliment her like how we compliment her.
Wait, is your girlfriend white?
Say what?
Is your girlfriend wing?
Yeah, she's white.
Maybe I won't try to fuck her then.
I don't know.
Wow.
I've never had a white girl.
You've never fucked a white girl?
Euro chicks, but they don't speak English.
So it adds.
They're white, too.
That's the whitest white.
That's where we're from.
But it makes me feel like something.
I don't know.
It's just like they always have an.
They're so white.
Alex is trying to pretend they're not white.
They're not white.
They're the whitest.
They're not American white.
So what?
It is.
What's the difference?
That's my cop out for fucking white guys, too.
Come on, Fran.
All right.
What's the difference?
I have so much in common, y'all too.
I asked you a question.
That's crazy, right?
I'm not going to.
What's the difference?
I don't know.
I feel like there's just like as black Americans, like you always have this weird thing when it comes to dating a white American because you feel like they've like grown up with that innate bullshit in them, opposed to Europeans.
We started the whole thing.
Fair, but 35 years old.
Furthermore, the bullshit is that your parents are white and black.
So if there's anybody who's not that much, it doesn't really count.
You know what I'm saying?
You guys really.
How old is he?
My dad is like 78.
Israel ain't exist.
Oh, he was born in Syria.
How'd you not see that coming?
You don't even know nothing about Israel.
Because that's his nationality.
I do know about Israel.
I think it became 1948.
No, he's not.
When America said it was a country, it was a country.
He was born in Damascus in Syria, but then he's an Israeli person.
Like, I'm American.
You know what I mean?
But they don't count either, my point.
So I'm technically not white.
Look, I'm just trying to stray as far as I can from McCall Cassidy.
Explaining Non-White Identity00:15:10
Just embrace it, yo.
Yo, you gotta embrace it.
Don't be that.
Don't be that.
You're so white.
You're trying to explain how not white you are.
That is the white white kid.
That is the white white male.
I'm not apologizing.
The whitest shit is being too much of an ally.
No, no, no, because you don't even want to own your whiteness.
You're so guilty.
It is 23 and me.
What is 23 and me?
Yep.
Great point.
What is 23 in me?
It's just white people trying to not be white.
I was going to say, when I did the family tree of 23andMe, it didn't even go back.
That shit is all fearful.
I did the slab, though, and I'm your Niger's sister.
I was like.
Stop trying to fuck Cash.
Yeah, bro.
Back off.
Listen, back off.
I came here with my sexy clothes on, so she can't help it.
I get it.
Damn, I really wanted to put my titties out, too, but this costume ruined it.
All right.
So you are shit.
Shame like a chicken.
She's trying to get puffed, yo.
Honestly, most of the guys that like hit on me on Instagram are the asshole army.
So I'm trying to pander towards.
Hold on, they love you.
Stop pandering.
Me you.
They love you in this card.
Okay, it's not really pandering.
You know, Weezy's fucking an asshole.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, we did talk about this.
We had talked about it here.
No, we talked about this.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, y'all having conversations on your own.
Y'all having conversations on your own.
Hey, I'm talking about.
Hey.
What's your comment?
They got chickens and chicken heads.
He and Cas is 10 hours.
Fucking black.
Like, first off.
He literally texted me Miss You Blood the other day.
I texted her.
Because you keep trying to fuck me.
I let you know.
Hold on.
Hold on.
One at two.
What's that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One at a time.
One at a time.
Go.
Like, first off, like, I text her as like high key, like, depressing because it's like all like.
Yeah, it is.
Like, it's really sad shit most of the time.
When you text her?
Yeah, yeah.
Just emotionally connected.
Exactly.
Just very, you know.
Oh, you're trying to do that mope into the pussy thing.
No, no, Cass.
I'm doing that shit.
I'll be doing that shit with my girl.
I'm so sad, though.
That's right.
That's how they're.
I'm going through it.
I think I texted you about my sex to break up the mopiness that was going on.
Yes.
No.
Now, Cash trying to mope, so she stopped hitting on him.
Like, hey, I'm going through it.
I don't need this right now.
I got you, dog.
Thank you, bro.
Got you, bro.
This is pity party pussy.
So whenever someone gets upset, I'm like, for real.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
I'm just saying about that.
I'm just trying to laugh my way out of it.
I don't even know what my laugh sounds like right now.
I'm just like, my girl's going to listen to this.
I'm going to have to explain it.
You are sweating.
Would you really like it?
You are in a plastic jumpsuit that has zero oxygen going into it.
Oh, my God.
It is like a gym.
This man's sweating like he's on the rotisserie right now.
Oh, man.
Damn, bro.
Oh.
I need two biscuits next to him.
The asshole story.
So he's not like fucking, I don't, he doesn't really have social media, so he doesn't get the whole throw it up thing, but he's a flagrant listener.
Loves Drew, and he knew me from Flagrant.
Shout out to DM, right?
No, we met in person.
We've been cool.
We recently started fucking.
What was funny about the fucking.
Finally, though.
What?
Oh, I fucked a member of the army.
No, like, you be talking all this fuck shit, but never fucking.
Yeah.
I do, you know.
But now that you're actually fucking, I like it.
It's supportive.
Oh, my pussy.
It makes the content better.
It does.
Yeah, like nobody wants to.
Go back to your story.
Go on.
Okay.
So the first night we have sex, he fucks the dog shit out of me.
I literally call him hospital dick.
But let him know.
He fucks me like that.
Keep it tight, make him lose.
I know, I know my cat.
You actually have like a hole in here.
You need to get to that.
So he fucks me four times in one night.
And like weeks later, we started talking about that first night.
I'm like, yo, you never fuck me like that now.
And he's like, I actually fucked you on the chew.
I was about to say, I'm out there.
We're doing a blue cherry.
This will be a best talk.
Blue Chew.
And I got a lot of shit.
Let me stop.
Let me stop the podcast and say, guys, Blue Chew is one of the great supporters of this podcast.
And we've been a great supporter of Blue Chew.
Blue Chew is your one-stop shop for the hardest dick on the planet.
Okay.
For any new listeners, if you want to blow the back out, you want to go four times.
You have a woman that you want to impress.
You got a girlfriend that you want to make feel great.
You go to bluechew.com, use that offer code Flagrant, and they are going to send you your dick pills for free.
It's $5 shipment.
That's nothing.
All of us are on it.
You give that girl the time of your life.
For five bucks.
Flagrant.
Flagrant is that offer code.
You do that right now.
Bluechew.com.
Shout out to the Blue Chew people.
I'm so glad when we get females on the podcast.
Female testimonials.
Female testimony is the best testimony all day and talk about how amazing our dick is and what we do because that's what we do and what we lie about.
But when a girl comes through, especially a hospital, because we say the size is hospital dick, not the blue chew, but the rounds were very blue chew.
Wait, what's hospital?
I don't, I don't think you understand.
So the context of hospital dick, right?
When we were cool, let me just finish bluechew.com, use the offer code flagrant.
Okay, back to the bus.
So I guess a way for him to flex on his dick.
We were pretty just like friendly, but I don't know.
He told me a story about how he was trying to have sex with this girl and it wasn't working.
And then she ended up going to the hospital.
And I was like, God dang it, that hospital dick.
Who knew it?
A week later, we fucked.
So maybe that story did work.
But the quantity of time that he fucked me four times within a span of like a few hours, bro, it was too much.
But also, if you're listening, you can get the Bluetooth again.
I would agree.
Question, question, question.
Now you have all these podcasts and different shows that you go on where you're talking about sex and you're talking about these different skills that you have in the bedroom, different things you could do in the bedroom.
Do you feel a pressure to deliver when you're sleeping with someone who knows who you are?
That's actually a really good question.
We got to be funny if we meet a girl.
You better damn sure.
You know what I mean?
That was the first time I had sex with someone that knew Weezy before I could tell him.
That was a little bit of pressure.
And I was really trying to suck dick good the first time.
I'm not even going to lie.
I was thinking so hard.
You heard Kaz's laugh.
Clap, clap, clap.
Nah, everything I do is going to be hilarious, right?
Okay, I get it.
I get it.
I'll tell you one thing that I noticed.
No, because I don't know.
That's a question that I want to ask.
He's all types of birds.
None of them can fly out of him.
No, that's a good question.
That's the question I want to ask, though, because I feel like, you know, he's so fucking ridiculous in the game.
So I feel like.
Are you an Eden cousin?
I should have said, like, I came in as Eden, which would be like, why, why, why?
I'm a turkey, yo.
Do Eden look like a turkey?
I don't know if you heard that Patreon episode.
It's one of the most fun podcast episodes I've ever had.
For 45 minutes, we joked about how he looked like a turkey.
We made him lay on his back and cross his hands.
Yes, and then cross his feet and put it up on his stomach in turkey pieces.
Did you let them do that to you?
Of course.
Of course.
Come on.
It's a good man.
What are you talking about?
You've probably done that to like 40 guys.
It's like weird sex romp.
I'm not pegged the stallion.
I've only done that like twice.
Okay, but back to this.
So you were like, I got to suck dick in a way that will justify my podcast.
Yes.
Now, generally, like people have more men have told me that I suck good dick because they could tell I like doing it.
They're like, I could tell you love sucking dick.
That's when I'm like, okay, I must be like really great at this.
Plus, nobody ever wants me to stop.
But.
Y'all laughing a little too hard.
Fuck.
All right.
God damn it.
Yo, Kez, relax, bro.
I was laughing.
Crazy.
I can't get any more relaxed.
I think the reason guys love when I suck their dick, though, is because my tonsils are so big.
So I can see that.
What if we just saw his costume start to rise at the house?
Now your girlfriend is going to kill him.
That's all I'm saying.
I'm like, bro, I'm like, can I go?
Can I have a nice night at home, please?
Tonight, you'll be out.
Real talks.
You got the recording.
She would have came the fuck out.
Kez, you got to record yourself getting yelled at in that costume.
That shit is going to be so funny.
When she starts yelling at you in your costume, I need that on video, please.
Pretty, please.
So you did fucking shit.
She's going to kill it.
That's exactly what's going to happen.
That's why the bitch was talking to me in the box.
She's so fucking nice to you.
That's why she said a gift.
That's why I'm laughing extra hard.
She said a gift.
She said a gift.
She said gifts, of course.
Oh, I haven't given you guys an engagement gift yet.
I've given everybody.
Because you're not trying to fuck me.
But my girl would probably like something.
You know what I mean?
Where you at?
Weezy?
We use some free shit.
Yo, I mean, I had my wedding invite.
I was like, oh, just me.
Yeah, you, Alex, is plus one.
Oh, I just want to come to the bachelorette party, and I just want to be like, you never kissed a girl?
I'm not going to say that.
Oh, she's going to smash your girl, bro.
Dude, I'm going to go.
What if she turns a girl away from me?
We for real finna box.
This ain't a fucking thing.
Can I tell you after we did the episode, his girl was like, thank you so much for making me feel comfortable?
I was like, I would always.
That's how it starts.
That's how it starts.
I want you.
That's what you're doing first specifically.
Stop it, Kevin.
You are deep frying yourself.
What the fuck is wrong with this man?
Goodness.
Let's just get back.
This is the only time someone's ever wanted to stop talking about sucking dicks.
Yo, I just want to get to this one thing.
So, Akash, we know how protective you are of your girl.
We know how loving you are of her.
Right, right.
We know that your girl is your world.
Right.
And how do you feel?
What do you do when you see an outside threat?
When you see somebody from a completely different part of life trying to take what's yours, take the thing that you love.
Break that happy home.
My immediate thought, no bullshit, is Alex fuck Mandy, yo.
That's my immediate thought.
We want to go nuke here, bitch.
India got nukes, bitch.
India got nukes on deck.
You Pakistan, you finna get it.
Nope, nope.
When do I get to leave?
See me in the air, Nicky.
See me in the parking lot.
See me in the corner.
See me at the corner of the parking lot.
Why are you belly dancing?
That's the wrong thing.
Is that the Indian dance?
Nah, bro, that's some Middle Eastern shit.
Okay, well, I've ran away.
That's the Indian dance.
What's the Indian dance?
Right here.
I thought she was doing.
Nah, she was hitting the belly dance.
Damn, let me shake my titties for the army.
See me at the parking parking lot.
Yo, Cash trying to dance his way out of trouble.
I'm in the fucking turkey out there.
The fact that I can't even see her arms.
Let me just say that's one thing.
I am not.
I'm a very ethical person.
I will never try to get it.
Hold on, fuck up.
Wheezy, Wheezy.
Hold on.
Hold on.
One second.
Don't explain yourself.
What we need to do is after episode recaps with our significant others who are pissed at us because of what we said on the podcast.
That would make phenomenal content.
So we just send you home with a camera.
We send you home with a camera.
We send me home with a camera.
And we just see the reaction of our loved ones.
I love it.
I don't think your girl's going to be that upset now.
I'm hurting.
I think you're the only one that's upset at her.
So you would be.
It's a fact, just like Alex and Mandy's a fact.
See that's facts, Morton.
Why are you doing me in it?
I ain't doing nothing.
Now, see?
No.
Come on.
I do take everyone down with me.
We understand about that.
I don't give a fuck.
Throw it at Kaz.
He fucked.
Throw it at Kaz.
Man, I ain't gonna read it.
You really want to go to Alex.
You really want to go there now.
We got the whole shit is blowing up.
Fuck that shit.
I'll blow this whole shit the fuck up.
You want him a faithful black man, nigga.
And every time you get upset, can you just do this?
Actually, I really would like that.
Alex, go to my single.
Are you with me?
This is how you destroy minorities from the inside out.
Can I say the word problematic now?
So.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Yo, real talk?
That looks better than your real talk.
How are you going to say one way?
At least you got toenails.
Oh, no.
Why do they curve at the end?
Because there's a claw.
Why do you put them on top of the food?
There's peeps down here.
Oh, shit.
I didn't even know that.
Ed and bought us peeps.
So, what I was going to say: I'm a very ethical person.
I don't fuck guys with girlfriends.
I don't fuck women with boyfriends that won't let me fuck them, which is why your girl should know I would never do that.
But your girl, I'll know what's the difference.
You know what I'm saying?
Because if Mandy's mad at me after this pod, I'm trying to fuck your cheese.
Oh, shit.
That's my mother.
And I feel like I eat way.
I actually think I could fuck your girl better than you.
I feel like.
See, Mandy, I'm at the fucking walk around.
See me.
I'm the one.
I'm the fucking locker.
Holy fuck.
That's the wrong son.
I just feel like I have all that.
Don't tell me two things.
Hold on.
I got Scott Rebuttal.
Two things.
I'm going to tell you two things.
Number one.
Yeah, yeah.
You right?
Number two.
If you really want to play this game, I got faith in my girl.
I put a big ass ring on that finger.
But you and Mandy, I don't think you put that.
You know what I mean?
You don't got that rock.
Yo, I know what you're doing.
I have that rock solid foundation that I want.
The illest shit, the illest move right here would have been when he said, I put that rock on your finger if you just pulled that thing out of your pussy right now.
That would be the illest.
Oh, like I got.
Like, you already got it.
Oh, see, I'm a, like, sometimes I could be like a no-touch Les, especially with straight girls.
Because for me, I don't, like, lesbians know what to do with their hands, but straight girls, it's more about like the takedown.
Because I get this very like, oh, why do y'all like flipping people so much?
Faith in My Girl00:02:49
Huh?
I don't know.
We had a gay comic friend who used to like love sucking straight dudes' dicks.
That was like his thing to try to make him.
I think the thing to that, though, is almost like with all porn that's like, you know, you have babysitter, innocent thing.
It's like.
Sounds kind of rapey.
No, no, no, no.
It's about the, it does, but it's more so the taboo.
I'm not supposed to do this thing.
Yeah, it sounds pretty fun.
You know what I'm saying?
And I think we all have a little bit of a fetish for first time kind of thing.
Like, I've never done this before.
This is my first time.
Plus, the teaching someone how to do something, like, that shit is sexy.
That sounds fun.
When I had three sons.
You don't have that fetish.
Yeah.
Well, we don't have first-time fetish.
I think Andrew might know.
I was in a thruple.
And in that thrupple, like, I always wanted to, like, teach each other how to do things, like, teach each other how to eat pussy on the pussy or shit like that.
That to me is sexy as fuck.
So the teaching.
What happened to the thruple?
It was hard.
We all live in different cities.
Yeah, that was the hard part.
It was a long distance.
Y'all still like get up from here?
Like, from I'm seeing her this weekend.
I mean, yeah.
Al, could you bring your strong ass hands on here?
Yeah, we got to see Al and his out costume too.
Please, Al.
Oh, yo, Al is, everybody look right here.
Al is a gay black man for Halloween.
I thought we had to dress up.
Did you get extensions for today?
Al killed it too hard, to be honest.
Yeah, I'm about to say he went a little too hard, bro.
I was killmonger.
What?
Al swinging for the fences.
Asked this motherfucker about your extensions.
I don't even know any more Indian songs to say.
Highlight to the girl, highlight planes.
Something throw pieces at my name.
Right?
Isn't that?
No, M.I.A. isn't in.
You can come around.
What else do you think?
Just know I don't get mad, Alex.
So you can have your little.
I honestly thought the three of us would stick together.
This is a good thing.
That's what I thought.
You know what, Elijah?
That's what I thought.
Y'all make me side with Andrew.
I know something's wrong.
What?
What did I do?
I did nothing.
Y'all always blame me.
What the fuck did I do, bro?
You just try to shoot it everywhere.
I blame you for the reason.
I got to shoot it at my girl.
I said, fuck it.
It's over.
Wait, Akash had to defend his love, yo.
And then he started shooting everywhere.
Okay.
You single.
You ain't got nobody to fucking apologize.
Exactly, bro.
You don't go home to no arguments.
It's all good.
But she knows this whole shit is just.
Don't matter.
You're about to try to use logic.
Wait, you can do everything before.
You just killed yourself, right?
I know, right?
I'm going to show you logic.
Yeah, I appreciate you saying that shit for me, though.
You know what I mean?
I can't say it.
Blaming Andrew for Everything00:15:35
Oh, gosh.
Okay.
Whoa.
Oh, let me just catch you, Kosh.
Akash, girl, I apologize.
We are just joking.
It's supposed to be kill murder, bro.
Try to help them out.
Stop helping.
You don't need a help.
We're having fun.
All right.
This guy don't need no help.
Look at him.
I got everything going on in his life.
He's beat my ass, though.
Look for me to be in your ass.
You're famous.
Nah, she'll be jazz.
Like, if she thinks, like, if she has an inclination that, like, we did something, she'll like, she'll.
There's no way.
Right?
Right?
She turned white real quick.
I don't even know.
So watch that, man.
No, it's like, we're totally front.
We're totally chill.
Look, look, look, go through my shit.
Oh, God.
But she knows.
She knows.
Faithful man.
Yo, son, we know you're faithful.
I'm trying to blow up my arm.
No, don't.
Just let it be.
Let it be what it is.
Just let it be what it is.
So, this whole thing started from the question: do you feel a certain expectation to live up to sexually?
Oh, right, right, right.
45 minutes to get this question answered.
Because I think it's something like early on in my comedic career, right?
I felt like once I was on TV for being funny, I felt like I had to live up to that every time I met someone who would see me on TV.
I had to give them this funny moment to justify where I was in my life, right?
And I wonder since you give out all these sex tips that you're like, holy shit, I got to be the best person he's ever fucked.
I think it's simpler than that, though, like good sex.
Like, I'm a giving person, which means sex with me generally would be good.
I'm a passionate person.
I'm a giving person.
So, in turn, like that, like, even if a guy has a smaller dick, when I can tell they want me to come or they're like into the sex and not just fucking for them, it's going to be good.
Like, I think good sex is a lot simpler than we make it.
So, I don't really feel pressure for that.
It's more like sucking dick.
That to me.
You got to be good at that.
I feel like not even for you to rank that.
Yeah.
That's a skill.
Like, sex, like, it's, it's whatever.
Like, if it's good for you, it's good for me, whatever.
Like, if you come, something let's rank it.
Top five blowjobs right now.
Akash, you start.
I got a one through five.
It was that time my girl did it, the other time my girl did it, the third time my girl did it.
But like seriously, we all have a memorable moment of like good head.
And I feel like great sex like doesn't always equate to size for me.
It's more like the moment.
Where was I?
Things like that.
But belowjobs, I do put a lot of effort into because that's the only thing sometimes I feel effort with, which is hilarious because this hospital dick dude, like his face.
Like the third time that I gave him head, he was like, wow, his dick is too big to suck good.
I'm going to tell you that.
What does that mean?
Just what are you talking about?
So like, I cannot put my mouth like as far down as I want to.
Can you get your mouth over the front of it?
Yes, but like it can't go past, like I have to do waist.
You're a fucking sub-wait sandwich.
I mean, you can't get your mouth over it.
I don't know.
Can't get your mouth over the side.
But it's not an easy, like, you know, like, I can't go up and down.
Describe it, like, what is it like?
It's the width of his dick.
No, no, no shit, motherfucker.
Wouldn't you think it was a triangle?
Describe it.
Is it a trésemé shampoo?
What does it look like?
Oh, Steal it for us.
Like we're Amazon.
There's a lot of bottles here.
Yeah.
Is it the essentia one liter?
What point from essentia to Poland's?
It's skinnier than, it's a little bit more of a, no, maybe it's this width.
It's a two-hand dick.
You cannot wrap your full hand around this guy's dick.
I could, but there's like a little, it's like a C.
It's not an O, it's a C. He's throwing it up.
Actually, but I mean, I felt I had to learn how to suck his dick better.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Opposed to like the dicks before were a little more medium, so I could act like a fucking superhead.
You do have a hospital dick.
Yeah, you do.
So how do you do that?
I don't think I've ever had the whole dick in me.
How to suck his dick appropriately.
So I go by cues, which I think everybody, just men giving women head, vice versa, whoever gives who head, you got to go by the cues.
So what I learned that he liked was honestly the effort.
Like when I make a lot of noise and it hits that tonsil, then I hear the uh, you know what I mean?
I'm like, okay, that's his shit.
Also, like, he really loves eating pussy.
So as long as I sit on his face while I suck his dick, like that's really all I have to do.
It's like, I almost don't need to put it in my mouth.
Oh, you guys with 69.
More than I have with anyone in my fucking life.
Really?
Yes.
But I think...
That should be taking too much effort.
Yeah.
That's a lot of effort.
It doesn't take effort if...
I'm like one-sided.
My brain is one-sided.
So if I'm getting pleasure at one thing, I can't.
But see, when you have a dick that big, you need a lot of warm-up.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you can't just spit on the pussy.
You're 168 Chevy.
I don't know, Cars, but it sounds right.
Yada, yada.
We got to warm it up.
You can't just drive it off the lot.
I was actually just had a hot take recently that I was talking about with Mandy where I've had guys fuck the shit out of me and almost hurt more with smaller dicks than with him.
And I think it's because he knows how to fuck with his dick.
Like when you have a big dick, you know you just can't, because that's not what's going to get them off.
That's too painful.
Like he knows he's got good stroking.
But like sometimes dudes with medium dicks, I feel like try so hard to fuck the shit out of you because they're just, they think that's what you need.
They know what you have.
If you know what you have, you don't need to.
If you had a big dick, you don't need to do a lot of extra work.
You don't.
But if you're small, you need to know what works for you.
Right.
And maybe, and I think dudes with smaller dicks, like want to push it all the way in you because they think you want it deeper when like that's always not necessarily it.
Like I can't take this dude's whole dick.
Don't want to ever in life.
So you can't take the whole dick?
I don't think I've had it yet.
No.
So he has to half stroke you when he's having sex?
I think he strokes as far as the shit'll go.
If I come like two or three times, maybe the whole thing does go in.
But I know when I'm looking at him, fuck me, I'm like, okay, that's a half dick.
Maybe I don't understand how women are built, but like if a child can come out of it, can't a dick go inside of it?
Yeah, but I mean, remember, you're pushing.
It just hurts.
You're pushing for a while.
I was going to say, it's still pain, but you're pushing for a while.
So I think with dick, like it takes time until the whole thing's in.
Can't just jam it in there.
Much like when you're like eating pussy or fingering, you can't just stick your whole finger in it.
You gotta like take your time.
Everything takes time.
I think that's also the issue: rushing sex with women.
Why do you women get all this time?
Like, I don't have time, bro.
I am a busy fucking guy.
I don't have time.
How much warm-up do we need?
You don't think over like millions of years we evolved to get the pussy ready to go and then we just put it in and it's time to fit?
No, I don't think you guys have evolved to that at all, which is why a lot of women don't come.
No, you guys haven't evolved, to be perfectly honest.
In what way?
We come super quickly, evolutionarily.
Like, we just let that shit go.
Y'all the ones slowing everything down.
Yo, can we have a serious conversation here?
Like, the longer you're with your girl, do y'all not care about foreplay as much either?
I think that's people, though.
I think women do the same.
I feel like people are like, you get real practical with your sex.
Like, the longer you're in a relationship.
My girl was like, y'all been together.
I'm about to say, like, you, yo, my father, we both did like longer than you.
My girl said this.
My girl said this.
She was like, she's like, she's like, put your fingers in me.
And I was like, what about if we just put a little bit of my dick in?
And like, we'll just start with a little bit of my dick and then we'll go to the full dick.
Because I feel we get into for one.
No.
Your fingers reach.
Let me see your hand.
Yeah, your fingers are doing shit and reaching places that your dick don't.
What are you talking about?
Like, my dick goes way further than my finger.
You got dexterity.
My dick does too.
Y'all can't move the tip of your dick and curl it back.
Y'all can't curl your dick.
I didn't know your dick was a fruit roller.
No.
He could candy cane his dick.
This is why sometimes.
So lesbians have more orgasm.
Ain't nobody give a fuck about lesbians, yo.
But you're right.
Every other time I was like, yo, shut up, lesbians.
Like, we don't care.
I mean, that's how you're talking about a lesbian.
I've been waiting for somebody to say.
Have we had a lesbian on the show?
Excuse me?
We have.
You've been waiting for somebody to say what?
That's enough lesbian shit.
Bro, we barely give a fuck about one woman on this podcast.
God damn, yo.
That's a lot.
That's a fucking son.
Oh, my God, bro.
I'm holding in the words.
I don't want my spankings, but you shouldn't give a fuck.
Lesbians could teach you a lot.
I've literally taught you some of that.
What they're going to teach us how to build a deck.
What do they teach us, yo?
Real talk.
What they're going to teach us.
I keep hearing that.
Lesbians know how to eat pussy.
Me?
How to dress like me?
What you going to teach me, lesbian?
You do dress like Ellen, to be fair.
You do, bro.
I do.
You do.
In-and-out crossover labels.
What's it going to do?
Is that a sports thing?
But for real, though, like, you really think lesbians eat better pussy than fucking.
Positive shit.
How?
Men are better than everything.
Women at everything.
Everything.
Even like, you ever watch cooking channel and you see how many men are the cooking stars?
You're like, y'all ain't even good at this?
I feel like they be doing that on purpose.
What?
Gordon Ramsey knows how to cook.
That motherfucker knows how to cook.
So that's it?
That's all you see on the show?
I don't know a lot.
Listen, I know mad family.
Now, why don't you think you know famous female chefs?
Maybe because they Rachel Ray, maybe Rachel.
Can I tell you one thing about Rachel Wade, which is very interesting?
Girls, you talk about all this time we need to do for pre-sex and pre-whatever.
What is it called?
Four-play, all that kind of stuff.
Yes, you do.
What did Rachel Wade get famous with?
I don't even know.
30-minute meal.
30-minute meal, 50 minutes.
Apply that to pussy.
Apply that to pussy.
Nigga, this ain't pussy.
Like, that's fucking a casserole.
That sucks.
What are you talking about?
That sucks.
That's sufficient.
Oh, female cookie.
I didn't say that.
I said how the tables they turn.
I want to slap this shit out of you.
Yo, real talk.
That's a good ass point.
So, Rachel.
I didn't say that.
Who else good?
You got Gordon Ramsey.
You got Salt Bay.
You got Salt Bay.
You got.
How did a woman not even learn how to do that?
All this snapping you be doing, you can't drop a little salt out?
I don't know how you change your back.
Son of the fuck.
Let your shit drop.
Son, Barry.
Bobby Flay to God Fieri.
Bordane, rest in peace.
Take out that man.
Son.
Hold on.
Famous chefs.
You got Rachel Ray.
You got whoever that bitch is.
I have no idea who that is.
Nobody knows who she is.
Paul Dean, racist.
I'm going to say Paula Dean got to get out of here.
Fucking Paula Dean a little bit.
Yo, Juliana.
There's no black people up here.
Say what?
See, this is how you know this is propaganda.
How do they know black famous chefs?
What you mean?
We got Sylvia.
No, but look at him.
Amy Roots.
Emerald's literally the closest.
Melbus.
There's no bus.
Come on, son.
We got mad famous chefs.
Can I tell you I did not know the guy from Foods and Diners, the guy Fieri got was it?
I just thought.
Guy Fieri's the god, bro.
Guy Fieri's not playing around.
All I'm trying to say is how are we better than you at everything and not eating pussy?
We got to be better at eating pussy.
You know, you're not better at eating pussy.
How am I?
You can't even palm a basketball.
No.
So I'm saying if I got in there with my fingers, I'm like, I choose to invest my skills in other things.
Like, fucking dick.
No, I think we're better than that, too.
I'm not going to lie.
We're probably better.
I'm not willing to try to see, but if it was something I applied myself to, I bet I could do it better than you at it.
Yo, men are definitely better at second dick because.
Hold on, whoa, I got to hear this.
I got to hear this one out.
Alex will never talk, Zoom.
I'm definitely better at second dick because look at a guy in a relationship and look at gays in a relationship.
Go on.
Go on.
Gays be mad.
That doesn't have to do with second dick.
That's testosterone.
But men.
Also, lesbians be mad pissed.
Not for nothing.
Not for nothing, though.
Girl relationships.
Don't let me say it.
Say it.
Go ahead and tell us.
Say it.
We already know what it is.
Eden, look at that.
We know the answer.
Wait, wait, Eden, look this up.
Domestic violence rates in gay male relationships versus gay female relationships.
Shout out to Case Rosso.
He had a very funny joke about this.
Comedian Case Rosso.
Okay, now go.
Now we are more emotionally expressive people.
Therefore, lesbians are going to tend to be more, you know, volatile.
Passionate.
Violence is what I like to say.
Angry.
Toxic.
All the words you like to call niggas.
It's not that simple anymore, is it?
Okay, where are we at?
Every gay male couple I know are happiest.
Look at men.
Look at the fucking estimated, not estimate not reported for gay men of domestic abuse because it's so sample size too small.
There's nothing.
And then what about women?
What is it?
40%.
40% of women are getting beat up by their women, yo.
That's Curry percentage, right?
Me and my girl almost got in a fight, too.
You did, right?
Our man was there to break it.
Thank God.
That's why that thrupple is necessary.
And it wasn't me.
It made some sense.
Cameron broke his shit.
Damn, right.
Came in there, like, yo, stop fighting, start sucking.
We had a thrupple or something.
90% is high, right?
Son, these bitches beat each other up.
That's sexual violence versus partner violence.
Wait, what?
I hear raping?
Actual violence?
This means it's raping?
7%?
This is impressive a little bit.
Lifetime into my life.
Jesus Christ.
Yo.
God damn.
This needs to be an episode of Horrible Decisions.
I don't want to talk about rape, but this is a great topic.
These are like all-star baseball percentages right there.
These are like.
That's Steph Curry's shooting percentage.
You know what that is?
Did anything over 35%?
That's all.
White woman race.
All-star baseball percentages, and they don't know how to use a bat or a ball.
If they knew how to use a ball, they wouldn't be gay.
That was the part.
Okay.
So the point we're trying to make is, how do you know that we're not the masters at eating pussy?
Because I've, from personal experience.
You're telling me a girl ate your pussy better than a guy?
Bro, time and time again.
Seriously, sincerely.
Why would I lie?
I'm on here now.
Hold up.
You saying a girl could do this better.
Hold on.
What about true?
What if you like this?
Can I tell you the sideway eating pussy?
That's the shit.
That's why I did it.
I want to tell you guys this one pussy eating tip that will help, okay?
Can I give you my favorite one?
Yeah.
Okay.
This is how I do it, but not a lot of people could do it like this, right?
First of all, I just rub my nose up on it.
That's it.
I rub my nose up on it like that.
You put the chin in it?
I put my chin in the butthole.
Good.
I put my nose up like that.
It's flavor save.
Yo, right here.
They were making fun of me when we were down at Palm Beach, bro.
They said I look like a witch because my nose is big.
You could have you put a mole.
Yo, but anyway, you just get in there with the nose, right?
Boom, boom, boom, with the nose, right?
Nose Blow and Flavor Save00:15:04
And then I get to the bottom of it and I just blow into it like a snapple.
Just whoo.
Do you know that if you blow into a pussy and there's no air getting out, you can kill somebody like that?
That's why she died?
Wait, what?
Seriously.
If you Google that, I don't know the name of it, but you can enclose a vagina, blow air in there, and it gets into some artery or something, and you can die that way.
It's not 100 ways to die.
Best pussy eating tip that I have.
Well, you just gave us the worst pussy eating tip ever.
Because he literally gave it to you.
I don't want nobody blowing in pussy and these bitches out here dying on his account on the episode I'm on.
And it's always some bullshit when I come here.
Yeah, it can be fatal.
Air embolism, there.
Blowing air into the vagina can be fatal as it supposedly causes an air embolism.
Yikes.
Yeah.
So, okay.
Oh, so you're like blowing it like a balloon blowing it.
But you all know what they're going to do.
Oh, sorry, but.
Oh, so the pussy eating tip, right?
Yeah.
We generally eat pussy like this, right?
So you have your two lips and you stick your tongue through it, whatever.
Yeah.
Can you give us a tip how to get out of eating pussy?
What's that?
What's a good tip?
I'll tell you both.
That's the tip we want.
So I'll tell you both for when it's like, stank, you don't want to do it and when you're into doing it.
So you have lips, right?
Yeah.
Your lips can pair with their lips.
So this is what happens.
No, I'm coming through with the smell.
Here's their lips.
What we should be doing, if you eat pussy from the side, your lips match theirs and it feels a lot better.
Plus, like generally, we don't feel men eating pussy on our labia, right?
So here you go.
Here's the labia.
You normally feel it just right here.
This feels fucking amazing because this is a place you don't get touched a lot.
Much like balls, you could say people always forget about.
Men forget to eat pussy from the side.
That shit feels good as fuck.
Also, when you're eating pussy, like touching that labia because it's never touched, it like causes crazy orgasms.
Pornhub a labia massage, give your bitch a dopa orgasm.
Ways to get out of eating pussy, if you find yourself.
Don't do none of that shit, yo.
If you find yourself.
Don't do none of that shit.
Just pay the fucking rent.
Pay the fucking rent.
I would take that over again, my pussy.
You don't have to know how many labias a girl got or nothing.
Just be responsible.
Be a man.
Be hard at work.
Lay on your back when you come home.
Let her get on top.
And when she's like, finger me a little bit, you'd be like, just put a little of my dick in.
This is why straight girls fuck me.
Say what?
This is why straight girls fuck me.
Why?
Because guys like me?
Yes.
How many things do I have to help you with?
I can't believe it's your podcast, your relationship.
Now I'm getting straight girls to fuck you because I'm so bad in bed.
You're not, oh, I'm not eating pussy.
How do you get out of eating pussy?
This is exactly how it happened.
How do you get out of it?
Saying you owe him a thank you because he's getting you more straight pussy now by talking like this.
Thank you, man.
I'm just out here throwing lobs.
I will say, more men.
You gotta be like, like, woke and not problematic because you just be missing all the jokes.
So that's why you gotta cover up with like inclusive, everybody.
First of all, I miss the job.
None of that.
I've been there.
I've been there, bro.
Like, I've been there thinking, like, oh, you know, it's problematic and da-da-da-da.
It's like, nah, it's like, if you get the joke, no problem.
That's why Andrew says some problematic shit.
I want to go to that minute on the podcast and be like, let me see what Cass is.
Because you got to be the voice of reason.
No, no.
But if you get the joke, what kills humor more than reason?
Why the chicken crossed the road?
Well, it's actually pretty hard for chicken falling across the highway.
Fuck out of here, man.
Yo, why didn't Cass cross the road?
Because he was late.
That's what.
All right, that was funny.
How to get out of eating pussy.
Okay.
So this has never really happened to me, but there has been time where like the hair is too much and I haven't wanted to eat pussy.
So using things other than you're opening your mouth.
Can I say one thing?
You're already doing too much.
Nah, when a girl is like freshly done, like I really do enjoy eating pussy in that moment.
Me too.
And I don't know how many days that shit lasts, but like that is the best.
It is the best.
But there's something to be said about eating the hairy pussy because it's pussy you're not supposed to have.
No, no, there is.
It's unprepared pussy.
It's like, oh man, when it's wax and clean, like she's like, okay, somebody's going to see this in like the next like two or three years.
This is the only time I've heard someone not appreciate super clean pussy.
No, super clean.
Trust me.
I love good prepared pussy all the time.
But I'm saying there's something to be appreciated.
From a little what much?
Don't just have a pussy.
Are you referring to my woman's designer?
No, I'm referring to you saying, I appreciate both.
You know what I mean?
I know she's a busy woman.
But see, you got relationship pussy.
No, I'm not even talking, like, when I'm single.
I'm talking about if I'm out or whatever, and like you.
Like, if you meet a girl out there, oh, like, if you know she wasn't ready, like.
Nah, not, she wasn't ready, but like, you know, your game was on that night.
Like, she probably saw you.
You probably didn't meet you.
And then when she looked like I was even planning on giving up the pussy today, but pick up the piece in it.
Pick up the piece in.
It's a great reference.
I will say there is something hot when I'm like trying not to, and I'll be like, yo, yo, I can't.
I wasn't ready.
And they'd be like, I don't give a fuck.
I'm like, night.
I'm guilty.
Okay.
Like a little me too.
That's what's up.
Oh, me one and a half.
I just had to take it there.
Me 1.25.
Oh, my fucking God.
No, I don't want you.
Yes, you do.
This is Kazan.
That Weinstein pussy.
You're like that Weinstein dick.
That Weinstein wiener.
Too far.
Say too far.
It ain't.
Whatever.
I think that.
I still like watching Payton Fools, so Weinstein jokes.
There is a.
There is something.
I guess I agree with you.
There is something to be said.
Is that how you're saying that?
Yeah, there's something to be said about, like, you know, the pussy's not all the way scorched to earth, but like, you know, you just meet her for the first time.
It's not a drop circle.
Yeah, it's not awesome.
It just doesn't look like it was all the way in the middle.
It's not your hair.
As long as it's like not in the, like, if it's at the top where I'm not going to eat it, I don't even.
I mean, not if it's like.
But like, I'm not trying to either.
If you can tell, like, nobody's been there in like fucking years.
Yeah, that's okay.
Maybe I don't want that.
It's a little something, not too.
Y'all eat period pussy?
Bro, I did that by accident the other day.
Okay, that's happened to me.
Fuck, bro.
How'd you know it was?
I guess that's my vanilla thing.
No, I mean, it's plugged up, though.
Any period, I'm just like, even if it's plugged up.
What do you mean, plugged up?
You eat through the plug?
Hold on.
You ate through the.
I didn't say I ate through a plug.
I'm just asking if you guys may be sucking.
So while it's plugged up.
No, no, no, no.
Tell, tell, tell, tell.
The most I've done is knock the pussy into her person.
None of you guys have licked the clip when it's plugged up.
No, thank you, Eden.
Guys, what is wrong with this?
Yo, y'all are whack.
Eden's fat.
He'll eat anything.
Of course he's whack.
You think he's worried about Loretta and strawberry jelly?
I am.
I mean, it's not something I regularly do, but I'm a scissoring person, so I got to get the clip wet a little bit.
Let's get out of here with that shit.
That's crazy.
You're absolutely crazy.
Weezy, you're a crazy girl.
Listen, did I really take that too far?
No, you didn't take it too far.
This guy talked about sucking dick and how men can do it better.
Ow.
What?
You're like sucking dick.
By the way, all the like dick, good sucking dick tips I get from gay dudes.
Seriously.
That's what I'm trying to do.
So for the gay dudes listening, what's a good dick sucking tip?
I was right.
For the gay dudes listening, or the women listening, too.
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Well, you know, I was looking out for occurrence.
One that I've been doing.
One that I've been doing lately that I really like is during orgasm, like when a dude is coming.
So like when a dude is coming, I like to put it all the way in my mouth.
That's the one.
And then, like, that's the one.
When I'm right about to pull this dick out of my mouth.
That's the one.
That's the fucking.
I stop right at the head.
That's the one, dude.
That is the fucking one.
Now do you believe in me, friend?
Yeah, that's the game changer.
So you get it all the way in.
They pull that out to 10 cents a day.
So that bitch is hungry.
Hungry, bro.
Once it's all the way in there, right?
And you can feel it go in your throat.
You pull out, still sucking, though, pulling the dick out of your mouth slowly.
You stop right here.
This is gross to hear you describe.
The frenilum is the skin.
The frivolum.
The frenilum is the skin that meets the head and the shaft, right?
So I stop there.
Oh, yeah.
And then I kind of like put my tongue right where the like the hole of your dick is and like almost like suck the rest of it out.
And they love that shit.
Oh my God.
That is how I've gotten my bill face.
You could have just stopped that.
That was sick to myself.
But it would feel really good.
Also, like stop use of your tongue while a dick is in your mouth.
I always have men tell me that like they love how I use my tongue.
While it's in your mouth and they're coming, you can also like move your tongue while the dick is in your mouth.
But for some reason, people just lay it flat.
Don't know why.
I'm thoroughly disgusted, yo.
I can't be because I started thinking about cum and that shit.
I have this relationship.
Fukaki is my favorite like porn.
Like I'm obsessed with, it's disgusting.
I don't know what it is.
I also think it's because it's the one thing I don't get from lesbian sex.
Like if I really wanted penetration when I fuck a girl, I could.
But like something about semen, it's like really disgusting.
You like, wait, you don't, oh, a girl can't come on you.
A lesbian can't come on you?
I mean, like, it won't look the same, the consistency, this is what's gossiping.
What if she cries on you with her bitch ass?
I'm the crier, to be honest.
Her bitch ass is fucking.
Is she a bitch for real?
She'd be out here crying like this.
Don't be talking about my husband.
They sold out of overalls.
Okay, I don't fuck those lesbians.
No shade to the ones that are there, but I like to fuck femmes.
See, but if a guy says that, they're like, oh, femmes are like the lesbians that they were molested in.
Like me.
Yeah, like little women that they're saying.
Actually, to be fair, I thought I was them until I ran to you.
Where was it, last lap?
And you're like, wow, I've never seen you in heels before.
Whoa.
Yeah.
What is that shit?
Like, the first time I see you dressed up, I was like, oh, shit.
Nah, you know, people who are born Christian, and then people who are like, what is it called?
Yeah, like the lesbians, they got saved into it.
You know what I'm talking about?
The femme ones are the ones that think they got molested into being a lesbian.
And then the ones that are born it are the ones that are like God, Andrew.
Nobody can fuck that.
But that's true.
Like, if you're a lesbian that walks around like you're in the yard and shit, like you just fucking ready.
You see?
The shoulders forward lesbians, they were born that.
That's them.
That's their lesbian.
That's what you're saying.
I just figured out pussy.
Teenboy lesbians.
Top boy.
Okay.
But I know what you're talking about.
That's definitely like a handful of women I know.
Like I've known since they were like five years old.
I was like, oh, yeah.
When they came out.
I mean, we could say the same for like men that are quote unquote more feminine, so to speak, and women are more masculine.
But like, nah, I mean, I came out the pussy liking pussy, I think.
Some of these gay dudes be acting like sissies.
Oh, God.
As long as you keep it at that word.
Whoa.
Good thing you're not here on a Wednesday.
Don't say nothing.
Don't say shit, motherfucking goddamn hell.
Sissy's a funny ass word, yo.
They're gonna take no word from me.
We gotta start calling our girlfriends sissy when they be complaining about shit.
I interviewed a cross-dresser that was called sissy, and he liked to dress up in women's clothes and like clean up their apartment.
Yo, son, we gotta call our girls sissies, bro.
Like, anytime they upset him, why are you away so much?
Shut up, sissy ass.
We should call y'all sissies.
Siss men that be crying.
She's such a sissy, bro.
Yo, sis male.
That's our word.
A sissy is our word.
Yeah, y'all are acting like some sissies right now.
Yo, stop saying that word, yo.
That's not yours.
That's problematic.
That is a little problematic, yo.
There's certain words that you, as a half-black, half-white woman cannot say.
Like what?
Tell me what I can't say, Andrew, please.
You can't say sissy.
You check a lot of boxes.
You can see it.
I can't say.
She checks all of them.
She checks all the boxes.
You can say the N-word.
I am literally the only one.
You only get the first three letters or the last three letters.
What?
Oh, the N-word.
Yeah.
Get the fuck out of here.
You only get three letters.
You get three letters.
I told Icon she can get away with it, but he refuses me.
If you want to combine the first three letters of the N-word with the last three letters of the Jewish racial slur, you got that.
What is that?
I don't know.
I actually just...
Career hands.
He said Nike.
I didn't know the Jewish racial slurs until I watched that fucking bangers today, boy.
Nike is hilarious, bro.
Holy shit.
Not a lot of people in the room.
You're the only person that can call someone a Nike, bro.
I don't want to call.
You can't call people Nikes, bro.
That's got to be your slur.
That's got to be a slur, though.
But do you get why it is?
It's like N-I and then K-E.
So from N-I from the N-word and then K-E from me.
Oh, that's fucked.
That's so good, yo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I feel bad saying it.
I'm pouring into this, bro.
I ain't saying Nike.
That's hard.
She just said the N-word, bro.
You can only go the first part that rhymes with fig, or the second part, you could do the second part where you sound like the frosted flakes.
Yo, what happened to you saying my Noah?
That's the same word hard.
Did you guys just stop saying my Noah?
Because that shit was not.
Yo, don't say that, son.
Yo, that's not your word.
Don't say that.
I don't need to.
That's not your word.
You know, white people always want to be included in something.
They're like, give us one.
So I can understand why you.
If you want to be included, we just take it.
They're fucking inclusivity anyway.
That's fucked up that you include everybody but white people.
Damn.
I don't need to include them in a place.
We're marginalized.
Why would I need to include white people in a space where they are marginalizing white people by not including them?
You are a marginalizer.
Oh my God.
You can't oppress the oppressor.
This is a very much a white woman rage that you're giving me, and I expect better from your brown ass.
White women love for the moment they could be upset about something.
I'm just pointing out hypocrisy where I see hypocrisy.
White People Want Inclusion00:07:56
You don't see none.
I see it.
Oh, I see it.
Oh, this is a little hypocritical.
Is it?
Yeah.
And also, you're a marginalizer.
Oh, my God.
Fucking stop.
Yeah, you are.
That's no problematic.
You're a marginalizer.
Don't even say this word about me because I'm trying to get unshadow banned.
Okay.
You are marginalized.
My association.
You're going to hear some guys.
My shadow banned five weeks now.
This shit ain't.
Akash on the longest shadow ban in history right now.
That's crazy.
Really?
Bro, I can't even get verified.
My agent's like, you got to try again in another month.
Oh, my God damn.
I remember when I remember when I was going to the WWE thing.
Instagram sent that shit back in 20 minutes.
Like, who are you?
Wait a minute, but you got it now?
Yeah.
You still not checked?
You can't if you're shadow banned.
Yeah.
Oh, you can't?
Because when the people put it in for us, Mandy wasn't shadow banned.
I was.
I'm like, look at this.
Yo, free Akash, son.
Free Akash.
And whatever Indian comic is hating on Akash, because we know it's you out there, motherfucker.
We know you got haters, mother.
You think it's another Indian comic?
Yeah.
The girl thinks that, and I don't, I don't.
I can see it too like organized.
Like every video I put up now, even if it's not remotely offensive.
You've been having some great ones, too.
Thank you.
That's crazy.
That's how I had to find myself.
It's come up on Google now, but it won't come up on the wait.
What happened when you surge Wheezy?
Don't worry about it.
Oh, I'm out of here.
You're not shadow banned, son.
No, but I was, though.
No, you're not.
You just want to be with the homies.
I really want to get out of this.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I really need to not be shadow banned.
So you're Army.
Oh, sliding them DMs.
You're not shadow banned.
We already got one Army member in there.
It doesn't matter.
I'm non-monogamous.
You really trying to get invaded.
Yeah.
The Army invaders.
I will say, like, that fucking watch party, it was thrown at me everywhere.
Yo, there are some people.
I went to the Discord the next day, and you were the talk of the town in that group chat.
You were not.
I swear to God.
We got to talk about that when we were at that hookah spot, and I accidentally showed my titty and it was on Discord for like 20 seconds.
Do you remember that?
Right.
Wait, wait, wait.
Was it live stream?
No, it was like a snap.
Where do we?
We went to Angeli's birthday party, right?
Okay.
So Kaz is like, yo, you heard a Discord.
I'm like, yo, I heard you.
Right.
Okay.
So he's like, yo, go in the Discord because they be talking about you.
I take Kaz's phone.
My God doing this.
You ain't got to find a coupe.
Yo, man.
Son.
You ain't going wild.
Yo, yo, yo.
Weezy's like, what the fuck do you do?
I understand why lesbians get beat up, yo.
I get it.
Bro, bruh, this has nothing to do with the business.
I did nothing wrong.
Just so we know, I did nothing wrong.
So you start the story, yo.
Moment when we smoking hookah, my nipples is all out.
We were at a party.
This is at the bowling alley for Angela's party, right?
Nah, but then me, you, low-key, and some other people went to Sahara afterwards.
That's it.
Yeah, Sahara East.
Sahara East.
Yeah, that's Low's fucking.
He loves me.
You fuck Low, too.
No.
Damn.
All right.
So I just flirt with everybody.
I don't know if we told a story until we get the point of friendship.
I don't know if we told a story on the podcast.
Kaz and I were supposed to do horrible decisions, and we all run a group text.
Kaz couldn't make it, and then you immediately were like, oh, Akash, you're out of here.
Let's get low on, right?
So you didn't have my number.
You couldn't make it.
No, yeah, you didn't have my number saved.
You just had a number on a group text with Low.
You send me a text at like 3:30 in the morning.
I'm in the shower.
I get a text, and my girl's in the bathroom.
I'm like, yo, can you see who texts me?
She's like, I did too.
And the text is, hey, one text.
Second text, it's Wheezy.
It's 3:30 a.m.
Me and Lobi out in the East.
Why the fuck is a Weezy text at 3:30 in the morning?
And I'm like, I don't know.
I don't know this bitch.
I need to know her number six.
See, I'm looking into my future right now after this fucking episode.
So, can you please finish the story?
Okay, so we're sitting there.
Nothing wrong.
And Kaz is, I guess, on the Discord.
He's like, yo, they talking about you again, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, who is they?
So he's in the Discord.
He's like, say something.
I grabbed Kaz's phone and I'm like making a video and I did this, right?
All I did was this, but I'm drunk.
So what happens?
A whole fucking titty comes out.
So it sends, right?
I didn't see the nipple come out.
I just pressed send.
Kaz is holding his phone.
He goes, What'd you put in there?
I was like, oh, I just flashed.
He's like, nah, your whole titties in this shit.
I'm freaking out, right?
I'm like, oh my God, help.
Niggas is in my DMs already.
Nice nips.
Wow.
Didn't think they were going to be.
We still talk about that to this day.
Like, sometimes I'll pop into the Discord.
Yo, remember that time Wheezy came on the chat and showed a titty?
I was like, bruh.
She's committed.
I need to be in it.
So whoever saw my nipples that day at the watch party let me know because I didn't pay for one fucking drink.
Matter of fact, I ordered lamb chops.
I remember the price.
They were $37 at this fucking place.
And no, I didn't pay that one.
A dude comes behind me, like, nah, I got you.
I'm like, no, dude, don't worry about it.
He's like, listen, that one titty deserves it.
So I guess the next watch party, I'm going to have to show the other one for some food.
I don't mind slutting myself out for food, to be quite honest.
Yo, Kansas, girl.
Ooh, chicken.
Listen, my girlfriend fight.
And I'm going to be right there, popping the same grave.
I'm going to be like, girl, you know.
I'm not worried about your girl.
I'm worried about Wheezy.
I'm just hoping your girl goes.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to be like, that fat ass ring on her finger, too.
Oh, no, bro.
Listen, thank you.
She's like, that was good.
All you have to give me is the, I would never ever, I'm not a behind-the-back person.
You ain't got no fucking okay, Wheezy.
But all I had to give you, you ain't getting it.
Just let her go.
Just one time.
You want to go through your whole marriage without her getting that one thing offer?
She's going to think about it for you.
My girl will never know what good sex is like.
That's on my name.
On everything I love.
My girl is going to be sexually unsatisfied until the day we die.
Yo, I'm like, I really thought he was going to get over this.
Oh, no.
Well, anyway, for the army that will be going to the watch parties, I just want you to know I know he said, I got a man, and then I'm getting blue chewed.
I am still.
You do have a man.
How do I got a man?
Because you do.
What let you know that?
Yo, yo, chill.
Yo, Kaz, you're making too much money.
I'm trying to get out of this because I'm fucking suffocating.
Yo, go to the bathroom, dog.
Anyway, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got a read.
But we're going to wrap this up and then do a reading.
So, so, yeah, here's the thing: I think you do have a boyfriend, and you're going to start treating him with respect.
Whoa, you're going to start treating him with honor.
You're going to start cherishing him.
Yeah, respect that black man.
He's a black man.
Okay, so you're going to start treating him like the king he is.
Because you know, he ain't being monogamous.
You know, where is this?
He's out here being faithful to you.
He's out here loving you.
He's out here giving you half of his dick.
Half half.
Everything.
Fucking.
Yeah.
Actually, that's really what I want.
What is that?
Half of everything.
Yeah, that's the goal.
Okay, good.
So you know what your goal is.
So go out and get it.
You're not going to get it like this.
Yeah.
You got to be faithful to that black man.
Real talk.
Be faithful, babe.
I'm not ready for a boyfriend.
Why not?
What do you mean you're not ready?
How old are you?
You already have one.
I want a primary.
I don't want a boy.
That word freaks me out.
How old are you?
I'm 28.
You got to start making these moves now.
Yeah, you're ready at that time.
But I could do that at 30.
30 comes quick.
Nah, man.
It ain't here yet, nigga.
I remember 28.
It's easier to do at 28.
You got about 84 useful periods left.
It's easy.
Sticking that.
Oh, you got an expiration date.
Actually, that's not.
Half of Everything Goal00:06:40
That's like, oh, shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yo, that Bluetooth dick.
I'm telling you, if it was raw dick, I'd have been right now pregnant.
A whole pregnant chola.
Real life.
Or a nightmare.
Real life is funny.
Weezy.
Now, you have these shows coming up as part of your tour.
I do.
I've hosted the Horrible Decisions Live show once.
That's right.
I was so excited about that.
You hosted more of that or Essence Fest?
Essence Fest, I do every year.
But this is, I did one time.
And I have to say, it was a wild show.
It was wild.
I mean, just to start.
My tip came out there.
My tip came out there.
And yeah, it did come out.
You have like heavy at the end nipples.
Your nipples kind of like hang a little.
What?
I do not have it.
Yo, call us Miller.
Funny is you on 85 South.
You know, this podcast is for this podcast.
He said this podcast for the girls whose nipples look like sorry pieces.
My nipple is actually on Instagram right now.
Your nipple is?
I have a picture where it's a little bit, but it's not, but it's see-through.
It's not like when you take your shirt off, the nipple just hangs at the end.
It's like that.
No.
You know what?
Go to a gonzo.
You know, Gonzo from Sesame Street?
Go to Gonzo.
Nah, you bugging.
That's how it looks a little bit.
My titties are better than that.
There you go.
That's it.
So that's what this is it right there.
That's a dick nipple.
That is it.
Yeah, you got that one.
So that's good.
But this is my nipple pick.
Let me see.
Yeah, but it's pushback.
If you let that go, then it's going to hang down towards the ground.
Stop it.
You know what?
Point is, the show was fucking great.
I mean that sincerely.
It was super entertaining.
You like are interacting with the people.
You're getting girls on stage.
People are like humping, doing these different sexual situations.
Both of you guys are on the mic.
You're like, you're making jokes about this shit, but you're also kind of like teaching.
You had me do this game with the people in the audience that I thought was so smart, where like you find out who the biggest hoe in the room is.
Thank you.
I came out with eight.
And it's so much fun because everybody starts standing up and you got to sit down when you haven't done a thing.
But like there is a room full.
When we were there, it was probably 350 of the horniest fucking chicks that I've ever seen.
It is insane.
Let me tell you something.
So go check out our show.
Shut up so I can promote your show.
So go out and check out these shows.
It is, where can they get tickets for this show?
Horrible Decisions.com.
The next show we have is coming next week.
We have Philly on November 6th, DC on the 8th.
Amazing.
And then Boston, 12, 12, every other major city we're going to be in in 2020, January, February.
But it's a very, it's a welcome show.
Like, Mandy and I don't just get up there and be like, oh, we're slots.
Like, it's really planned out.
But I really wanted to come on Flagrant because we have a packed room of horny bitches.
Actually, there's a video of two girls making out violently because they were so fucking horny at our show.
What is that?
Do you see these bitches?
Oh, wow.
In a meet and greet line.
That's aggressive.
I'm telling you, these girls get really horny.
We're going to have to connect the, what do you guys call yourself?
The whorehive?
The whorehive in the asshole army.
And we're going to have to do something.
That would be so fun.
I would love that.
But I want you guys that have girlfriends, especially to bring them.
We've had a lot of couples get with you.
No.
No, she got to come.
Of course.
But no, I mean, couples meet a lot of unicorns there, and a lot of people always ask me how to get a threesome started.
Horrible decisions is the perfect fucking place.
Bring your girlfriend, Akash.
That's what's going to happen.
Wheezy, what the fuck?
On what's it called?
Wheezy, what the fuck on all platforms?
Twitter, Instagram, et cetera.
You know what?
You brought me on, when you brought me, when we have you on here, we were going to do round two of this accent battle.
I think we're going to have to save that because we went on so long for this episode.
So the next time you're on, we'll have another accent off.
But if you do want to check out the accent off, there's a fun episode dropping in New York City where we're going to be able to do it.
That's very great, and I really love it.
Yeah.
It's like one of my favorite times I've ever been on YouTube because I just feel like it really shows me.
You know, everybody thinks I'm such a fucking whore, which is true, but it's like that moment in time was just absolutely fabulous.
She's good.
She's very good.
Seamless.
Except, I told you.
Alex got what?
Stop it.
What?
What happened?
I don't know.
No, he forgot.
I feel like our best one was so nervous.
And he didn't put it.
Which one was the Dominican?
I drove for the you, but you drove for the life.
The life.
That was very good looking.
Pero.
He don't put inside the movie, the Jutu.
So I don't know.
The Jutu.
Making him make it the show.
Make it the Joe.
Anyway, it's very entertaining.
We're going to have the official accent off another time, I promise.
Thank you so much for coming.
We love you.
Yay.
And check out Horrible Decisions.
Check out these live shows, guys, and let us know how they are.
You know, I've dubbed myself the asshole army princess, so I thought maybe it could be Leah, but no, we're not going to give it to a white woman.
Love Leah.
Leah hasn't been here in a while anyway.
We got to get Leah back on.
It better be me.
That's it.
We might give it to a white woman.
We can't get someone like that.
Akash got real serious, so I'll tell you something.
You think I'm out here fucking people in the asshole army to not be the princess and queen?
That's true.
You have to put in the work.
Thank you.
Put in the work.
So we're going to consider you.
There's anywhere out there that could lay the claim to fucking more assholes.
Wheezy, you did.
Take the crown.
You got it.
And I'm still looking for more.
It's light on my DMs.
Okay.
Guys, what an interview.
What an awesome time hanging.
Not even an interview, just a hang.
When weezy comes, it's a hang, just like her nipples.
But we've something amazing has managed to happen.
And honestly, I didn't know this was physically possible in podcasting.
Kaz, as you can hear, is not with us right now.
Kaz has managed to be late to an episode that he was already at.
He is late twice.
We said we're going to take a five-minute break after we talked to Wheezy.
Right.
And we don't know where the hell Kaz is going.
We went to 10.
We waited at least 10.
We did a live read.
We did a read.
We did a whole read.
That's a couple minutes.
That was a couple minutes because I messed up.
I went and got food.
Alex got a salad.
Two different blazes.
I'm almost halfway through the salad.
He's almost halfway through the salad.
I mean, Eden, did you do anything?
Kaz Late to the Hang00:02:39
Basing himself a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Made myself happy.
Hey, do you shower or do you just take that big thing and just dip it in juice and squeeze it on yourself?
You guys are ruffling some feathers.
It's good.
It's good, Eden.
It's good.
Eden, come back to getting better.
Anyway, I mean, it's just so shocking that this has happened.
I'm not even upset.
I'm impressed at this point.
This is impressive.
To be late twice to the exact same episode.
I know.
I know.
And I wanted to call him out because we made it seem like he was late just because he was putting on the costume.
He was already 15 minutes late.
He was already.
And then he said, I got to put on the costume.
Akash.
I mean, what do we do when he even comes back in?
What is the.
I don't know, man.
Make him put the costume back on.
He's out of the costume for any of you guys listening right now.
That being said, we still got some very interesting things to talk about.
Obviously, it's been a very big week, sports and non-sports related.
Did you listen to Jesus is King?
The Kanye?
I did not.
I should have.
I don't even care anymore.
I would say Kanye is maybe the worst thing that has happened to Jesus.
He's the Antichrist.
He is.
Like, who fucked over Jesus?
Judas?
Yeah.
Judas is looking at Kanye going, whoa.
Like, I know I fucked up.
But low-key, what I did created Christianity.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
What Kanye did is going to create atheism.
Like, if there is a giant move from Christianity to atheism in America amongst the black community, it might be from this album.
Oh, it's going to be.
Bro, I heard Yay or whatever the last album was, and I knew it's done.
I like that.
I like that.
Yeah, I thought you were just being contrarian.
No, I actually liked Yay.
I thought there were some good songs on it.
And I got bored.
I couldn't even listen to the whole thing.
I was like, I can't do it, man.
Dude, I wanted to like this one.
Maybe because I do have some contrarian in me.
Sure.
I really wanted to like it.
Yeah.
I was on a plane flying down to Palm Beach for shows and I was skipping songs.
Yeah.
And that's how I knew that this was bad.
Yeah.
Because if you're skipping songs about God on a plane.
On the field.
Like if there's one point where you just let that shit run to the end because you're like, God, you know, just help us.
Kanye's Contrarian Genius00:15:14
Can we land?
You know what I mean?
Like literally all you're thinking about.
And I was skipping through, so I couldn't even fucking listen on the plane.
To a first listen to skip means that shit was trash.
And he probably, how many tracks he got on this?
It was limited, right?
I think 11 or something?
I think like 10 or 11.
10 or 11.
I assume to be short.
I assumed that you would listen because he got your boys on it.
I know you were a big clips fan.
I'm a big clips fan.
I need to hear that song.
I mean, I was out of commission all day yesterday.
My back been fucked up.
I was on painkillers and whatnot.
Yeah, real talk.
But I'm going to listen at some point, but I know it's going to be trash.
I talked to my brother-in-law, future brother-in-law, big Kanye fan.
Swears he's a genius, all of that.
I asked him what he thought of this album.
He was like, I didn't get to listen to it all the way through.
Yeah.
Can we have a bunch of people?
You can't finish, bro.
I'm a comfort.
Say again?
I'm a Kanye stand.
And for the first time in my life, I don't like an album of his.
Now, first time in my life, I don't like an album.
It feels rushed.
It doesn't feel mixed, right?
It's just trash.
It's not good music.
I think we need to start having the conversation, which is what is he so great at?
Like, Kanye puts himself in the same ballpark as Steve Jobs, Da Vinci, Walt Disney, Da Vinci, right?
Like, let's use those three people, right?
Like, those three people changed the course of history with their work, right?
Like, Steve Jobs literally changed the way we listened to music.
He changed the way we talk to each other.
He changed the way we talk to each other.
He changed the way that we interact.
All these things were because of Steve Jobs, right?
Walt Disney.
This fucking thing right here changed everything.
100%, right?
Now, Walt Disney, I'm not too familiar with how cartoons and that kind of shit worked prior.
Yeah.
But I'm sure he had some instrumental cartoons as theme parks.
I was talking to my friend who was talking about an exec.
She was at some networking now.
She's a free agent, but she's like, I want to make cartoons.
I'm very interested.
If you have a cartoon, give it to me.
And he was like, why?
And she goes, theme parks.
And just that way of thinking blew my mind.
But that's Walt Disney.
Anytime you go to a fucking Amusement Wars Park, Harry Potter Park, all that shit is Disney.
All of it.
So he literally changed the way human beings interacted with the world they're in.
Yeah.
Right?
And he invented a thing.
Like, Steve Jobs invented, he didn't, he wasn't the first person to do a phone, but he invented, he invented a way the phone is used completely different.
He changed the way internet phones.
Remember Palm Trios?
Oh, bullshit.
Horrible.
Right?
I'm not too familiar with Da Vinci's shit.
I know that the guy that got his arms out, whatever.
And then I really don't know that many things.
But I know he was like an inventor, right?
I know he got that guy, right?
He may be the most brilliant guy ever.
Okay, so he's a super brilliant guy, right?
I know he was in Assassin's Creed.
Right.
I think he built some of the things for that.
One of the Ninja Turtles.
He was one of the Ninja Turtles.
This guy was a Ninja Turtle, right?
So he made a barreled cannon.
He made an animator.
He made a revolving bridge, winged flying machine, the airplane, diving equipment, self-repelling.
I mean, this guy really knew what he was doing as Da Vinci.
Now, Kanye truly hasn't invented anything.
And I've said this about him forever, but he's just taken shit that is very normal and almost corny for white people, and he's made it cool for black people.
Yeah, you cannot deny his impact on fashion, whether good or bad, is crazy.
But hold on, let's back.
All of his impact on fashion is appropriate from white people.
Sure.
He has not, I guess what I'm trying to do is like when we're talking about Da Vinci, right?
We're talking about Steve Jobs and we're talking about Walt Disney, is they've...
There's a difference between inventors and influencers.
So if you're going to call yourself one of these great minds like them, you have to invent.
Kanye is an influencer.
Black people really, or used to at least, really trusted his sense when it comes to music and fashion.
And he was able to sell them certain things that they hadn't been sold before.
But he did not invent the dad shoe.
No.
White dads have wearing that forever.
He did not invent the pink polo.
There was a reason why he was able to buy it because it was already fucking invented.
Right?
You didn't say make it pink.
You walked right into the fucking Nordstrom's.
You went right to the golf section and you started dressing like those guys.
Right?
Same thing with the baggy rip sweaters.
Nirvana had been doing that shit forever.
Soundgarden has been doing that shit forever.
Like you did nothing at all to innovate fashion.
Now, music, we can say that he is an innovator with music.
And that's fine.
I've never been a big Kanye fan, but I can't say I hate his music.
I like tons of his songs.
He's got a lot of shit that's good.
But you know what?
He might be his brilliant, his most brilliant thing that he's ever done is saying he's a genius.
Selling his mediocrity is the most genius thing he's done.
And I don't want to say mediocrity because he's good.
He's got some fucking classics.
I'll give him elite at music.
I'll never say anything about that.
I'll give him a music.
But elite at music is different than genius.
And he's called himself genius until we believed it.
And it's the next level of what Jay-Z did.
Jay-Z would be in the GOAT conversation, but the first person that put himself there, as far as I know, was Jay-Z.
Yeah.
I wish Kaz was here because he knows music better than I do.
I remember Jay-Z saying, I'm the greatest before anybody else is saying it.
We were still big in Pac.
Jay-Z goes, who's the biggest?
Pac, Biggie, Jay, or Nas?
Yeah.
So he put himself in the middle of these four people at a time where nobody even considered him close to the greatest, right?
Really smart.
Kanye did that with his own genius.
Yes.
And he's been calling himself a genius, and I think he's so influential within a subset of people.
Most white people don't think Kanye's a genius, right?
Like this, he thinks he's a genius, and he's operating in the vacuum.
But if you ask my dad, you're like, hey, is Kanye a genius?
He'll be like, who?
Do you know what I'm saying?
He's not like literally the majority.
Asians aren't going, oh, Kanye, that guy's a genius.
Nobody in China thinks he's a genius.
Nobody in, maybe in Africa, maybe doubtfully in India.
I doubt they're going, oh my God, that Kanye guy, that guy's a fucking genius.
Like, rip clothes?
Y'all been doing that.
Right?
Like, so it's like.
That's all we got.
Those are clothes.
That's what they sell at the store.
So it's like, I think there's a situation where Kanye has convinced a small group of people that he is great.
That small group of people happens to be the most culturally influential group of people on the earth now.
Yeah.
Black Americans.
Right.
So if black Americans are supporting this thing, the rest of the people that want to be involved in cool and hip culture follow.
Yeah.
Right?
So, yes, you've done it right, but if you think Kanye convinced my dad to wear those Nike Starbucks or whatever they're called, Nike, what is it?
Yeah.
I forget what they're called.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Those old dad shoes.
Those Pete Carroll shoes.
The Pete Carroll shoes.
Like, my dad has been wearing them forever.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, if you think he convinced my dad to do it, like, I was into Nirvana way before Kanye ever thought that that was cool.
Right?
So I just think we got to call out Kanye on his genius card.
Maybe his genius is convincing people that he is.
That's what I'm saying.
That's the only genius he.
I've never bought into Kanye's a genius.
Yeah.
Really gifted musician.
Yes.
Undeniable impact on fashion.
Whether it's stolen or not, he impacted, he influenced it.
But ain't no genius.
That's a fucking lofty word to throw around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I use genius on one person, and maybe it's because I don't know music like I know comedy.
I know you don't say he's quite, you don't use it for anybody.
I use it for one comedian, that's Chappelle.
Yep.
I think the way God, and only a comedic genius.
I don't think he's, Kanye thinks he's a genius, period.
If you wanted to sell me musical genius, I could be like, all right, fine.
Chappelle's a comedic genius.
That's it.
That's the only person I see.
That's fair.
And I would agree on that.
I guess maybe there's a world where we go, yeah, Kanye is a musical genius.
Maybe.
I'll give it to him.
I'll give it to him.
What I will say is I give him tons of credit for his ability to seemingly not care what other people think and buck a trend.
Yeah.
So like, while as a white guy, I don't see it brave wearing dad shoes and these types of things.
Maybe his community would scrutinize that type of clothing so much to be able to wear it would be a brave thing to do.
Right.
Sure.
Okay.
Maybe my community is a little more accepting of clothing that's not that cool.
Yeah.
Y'all been dressing weird.
We've been dressing weird forever.
Yeah.
We invented this shit.
Yeah.
You know?
I admire that with somebody that is in a position to lose so much to like double down on his influence and then end up changing the way other people operate.
I do admire that and he needs credit for that, no doubt.
But to me, he's the ultimate influencer.
That's why him and Kim are married.
That was brilliant.
So it's just like Kanye and Kim are the same thing, but Kanye is Kim with a skill.
The knock on Kim.
That's how you say it.
I didn't figure it out.
But the knock on Kim is, what are you good at?
Well, what she's good at is influencing people.
Right.
And she knows exactly how to do it, exactly what to put in her body to make it look away so it influences people, how to operate, what part of her lifestyle she should show.
She knows what the fuck she's doing, right?
Undeniable.
Kanye is that, but also happens to be elite at music.
Right.
And if Kim was good at anything, I think that, and if she was really good at anything, let's say she was really good at fucking, let's say she was good at music.
I don't know whatever.
And then she called herself a genius, I think we'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're just good at music.
Right.
You're good at music and you got girls putting on like, you know, lipstick, but you're not a fucking, like, if anything, Kim is actually more, if we're talking genius as influencer, Kim is more of a genius because Kim has changed the way women's faces and bodies look insane.
Dude, every hot girl just looks like Kim now.
Yes.
So if you want to talk genius in the Kanye sense of it, meaning just influence and culture, to get someone to wear something is a much smaller investment than to get someone to change the way.
That's surgery.
Surgery.
If influence makes you a genius, Kanye isn't close to his genius as Kim.
Kim is the goat.
All right.
So I'm taking everything in.
Kanye is a musical genius because he changed the style of music that was popular at the time.
So as to that point, you have the Drake, you have J. Coles, you have all the people that sing-songy rap and emotional I show all sides of me rap.
808.
He made that popular.
Yeah, yeah.
So I would say in that sense, he's a musical genius and he can like really craft music.
I don't know what's going on.
Yeah, like I think he's having difficulty now making music, but we have to give him a little bit of a music.
And I think, yeah.
But we're saying, like, if anybody wants to sit here and go, he is a musical genius, you'll never see me debate that in one second.
He's not my favorite, but I love his songs, and there's like tons that I've really enjoyed.
And I think genius gets thrown around loosely, but every person.
That's my problem with that.
That's by him.
But everybody that we call a genius, they're a genius in one particular area.
Maybe not Da Vinci, but most people, it's like Tesla, he was good with fucking electricity.
This guy, who's the guy who goes to space and shit like that?
Elon Musk.
Elon Musk.
It's like, you wouldn't say he's a fashion genius.
No.
You know, so it's like, I think everybody just is a genius in whatever field that they direct that genius at.
No, I was thinking about that, but I feel like what Kanye does is still pretty narrow, even relative to them.
Like, electricity is wide-ranging.
You could do millions of things with electricity.
Rap beats is one specific thing.
I have not heard the Kanye heavy metal album that's like, holy fuck, this is incredible.
I have not heard the Kanye Symphony he wrote that's like, whoa, fuck Beethoven.
This guy's right there.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's a genius the way Beethoven is a genius.
The way Mozart is a genius.
The way Kurt Cobain was a genius.
Yeah.
But then it's a much more wide-ranging term.
Okay.
To me, then that's just in my mind, and now we're just cutting, splitting hairs.
That's brilliant.
He's a brilliant genius to me at some other level.
Like, what the fuck?
I understand what you're saying, right?
Where there is a little difference between like Kanye and Pharrell in that Pharrell would make the best songs or the best beats of the genre of hip-hop that was popular at the time.
Whereas Kanye would redefine the genre of hip-hop.
Push it forward.
Push it forward.
And did that a couple times.
And all due respect, completely off the music table, 100%.
And that also speaks to his influence, right?
It's like, oh, shit, when Kanye does something, that's the new thing.
And that he brought into fashion, right?
Yeah.
What I'm saying is the fashion thing, he didn't put a single piece of unique or original clothing out in the entire time that we saw.
I mean, like, every bit of his clothing or sneakers is a ripoff of something that already existed.
It's not like, like, Steve Jobs with the iPhone, it's like completely just he's like, oh, we don't do sneakers no more.
We do babukas.
And you're like, what is that?
You'd be like, oh, that's a new thing on your feet.
You're like, I guess we do babukas.
Like, he just made up a fucking thing.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
So I think, I think you gotta, I think you gotta separate, like, he said, I'm the greatest genius of our life till there's some interview with Big Boy.
And it's like, bro.
I don't think anybody really believes him.
Like, even in the black community, I don't know.
You know what annoyed me?
Actually, he's an all-around genius.
We only give him the musical genius thing.
And even that, it's like genius with an asterisk on it.
Nah, bro.
I think a lot of people, maybe not you, you're more rational, but a lot of people, up until about a year and a half ago, Kanye would say, just this tweet, this idiotic nonsense that was mad, like, vague.
Yeah, and we were looking at that shit.
Thoughts of the sperm of action.
We'd all freak the fuck out and be like, oh my God, Kanye's a genius.
And then he put on a red hat and everybody's like, yo, Kanye's crazy.
Like, now y'all realize it.
It took one fucking hat and now you see him for what he is.
It's just a little annoying.
Yeah.
And that was just the ultimate flex.
Yeah.
He's just going, can I make anything cool?
How powerful am I?
Yeah.
Can I do anything?
And no, he tried gospel and but the thing about gospel is you don't have to make gospel cool.
Like God is already dope.
Nah, man, if he made gospel, like if this album was good, if this album was good and you heard this, like you wanted to bump this shit in your car, because he kind of did it on the last two albums.
He had like one or two songs that had the gospel in it.
And we love those.
Trying Gospel Coolness00:04:49
I thought it was going to be a whole album of that.
Dude, that shit would have been amazing.
Hillsong.
We've had Carl Lentz in here.
Hillsong has built one of the most popular churches in the world.
It's a global church.
And the backbone of that is Christian music and rock.
It's not gospel, but it is Christian rock.
And they have these amazing fucking songs.
I listen to this.
I'm not even a super religious person.
I listen.
And so it's not like this hasn't been done.
And this church is known as the cool church.
You got hipster-looking dudes in there.
You know what I mean?
Hipster-looking chicks.
So it's not like it's not like all gospel music or all religious music is creed.
There is a cool fact.
Justin Bieber was part of the church.
No, no, no.
I get that, but I'm just saying it hasn't been done in hip-hop.
Fair, What a chance.
I'm not trying to be an asshole.
Didn't Chance kind of do that?
Nah.
Nah, he doesn't make gospel music.
I think he made songs about his wife or something.
Yeah.
Nah, he made who I love my wife.
But before that, before his wife was Jesus, all his songs were about God.
He bringing church choirs.
I don't listen to him enough.
Think about the beginning of, you don't want no problem.
In the beginning of church choir singing, he puts the organ in his shit.
Maybe.
I mean, Kanye might have tried to take it a step further, but Chance is already kind of doing that.
And the best part of the Life of Pablo intro was the Chance verse.
Yeah.
But that's one of those ones.
Like, imagine if we had a whole album of that.
Fuck, if he did.
That's what I was thinking.
Father Stretch My Hands or whatever that song is.
If there was a whole album of that, I mean, I cried listening to that song when What's Her Face sings?
Yeah.
Who's the chick that sings?
Kelly Price or something?
Yeah, that's the intro track.
I forgot what it's called.
That's how Father Stretch is.
That's the first one.
Ultra Light Beam.
I fucking cried listening to that song.
That was one of the most beautiful songs I've ever listened to.
And I'm listening to that.
And while I'm listening, I'm like, anything he wants to say about the music he makes, he's right.
This is beautiful.
And then that going right into the.
I think my Father Stretch My Hands might be a matter of money.
No, it went into the Panda shit.
Bro, the beginning of that album charged me up.
It was fucking amazing.
It was truly amazing.
I remember pulled over at a gas station in Santa Monica, California, where I was going to buy a charger, and I was bawling, crying at that.
The beauty of that song.
Amazing.
And I'm going, wow, this guy's a true skill to evoke this type of emotion through music.
100%.
Not denying it.
But the whole album wasn't that.
Yeah.
If it was, we on a dick.
Like, whoo.
That's why I thought this was going to be that.
I think we all wanted that.
I was kind of hyped for this one.
I think we all wanted that.
I was so disappointed.
In a weird way, we want him to win.
You know what Kanye is?
Kanye's like an athlete that went broke.
Well, he did.
And you're like, I hope he gets it back.
You know, like, remember when Vin Baker was working at Starbucks?
Oh, yeah.
And you're like, man, I hope he becomes a manager one day.
He's like Sean Kemp.
Sean Kemp.
You know, it's like he got fat.
He got married.
But that is married.
This is what happened.
That shit did happen.
He went broke.
He got fat.
Yeah.
All the shit that, yeah, we are rooting for it.
I'm rooting for it.
In a weird way.
Like, we're rooting for this guy who is kind of like, he is not humble in the least.
Like, he's not the guy to root for.
True.
Why are we rooting for the guy who says he's great?
Because we're watching him fall.
Even if he's acting like he's not, we're watching it.
Kanye's looking more and more like the teddy bear on his first album.
Every album.
Kanye looking like that college dropout bear.
I just, I respect anybody who just puts it out there.
Like, when you talk that shit, that appears to be a little bit more.
No, I love that, but you got to back it up.
If you don't back it up, it's high-risk, high reward.
Well, he used to back it up.
That's why we get along so well.
He always backs it up.
It is high-risk, high reward.
That's a good point.
You're fucking right.
And you know what?
That's what we loved about Connor McGregor.
Yep.
That's what we love about Floyd Mayweather is if you talk that shit and then back it up, we have a massive fucking respect for you.
Respect.
And for a long time, he would back it up.
And now he doesn't.
And that will be his fall from Grace.
His fall from Grace will be if he stops backing it up.
And the music had always been the backbone.
That's it.
There's a ref room now.
I feel like Ye, that's what it's called, right?
Ye.
We gave him a little bit of a pass, but this one's two in a row now.
It's like, oof.
We're still going to be excited for the next Kanye release.
Nah.
I might not even listen.
I didn't listen to this one.
And I felt about Ye like this.
I thought it'd be Life of Pablo was great.
I can't fuck with this.
But so I didn't listen to this one.
Maybe you're right, but I think a lot of Kanye stands.
We'll give it one more chance.
Like, I know you guys aren't like technical music-wise, but it's not even mixed well.
Like, you can, there's parts in it where, you know, when a voice is not recorded well and like the silence, you hear like the little like hissing noise, you hear that during it.
Life of Pablo Disappointment00:09:04
And I really don't think that was done intentionally.
That's not good.
I'm like, yo, it's not even mixed while he rushed this shit.
Yeah.
Didn't Charlemagne say it?
I know, I think he said in his book, Kanye needs no people.
He got too many yes men around him.
Yeah.
You would think the Kardashians, I don't know.
They don't give a fuck about men.
That's a good point.
Caitlin just straight became a woman, so they finally give a fuck about it.
Come on, man.
Just do whatever it takes for you guys to care.
That's a good point.
Please.
All right.
Well, outside of Kanye, I saw this movie on Netflix recently called Dolomite.
I've heard it's incredible.
Do I need to watch the original Dolomite before I watch this?
I didn't.
And I didn't know that this was based on a true story.
I knew, yeah, the making.
It's based on the making of Dolomite.
So Eddie Murphy stars in it.
Eddie Murphy is fucking phenomenal.
I've heard it's amazing.
Even before it came out, my friend was like, even critics love it.
It's like universal.
It's good.
He's great.
He carries the whole movie.
I heard Wesley Snipes is fantastic.
Well, he's all right.
Oh, because I was hearing from everybody he stole the movie.
He's all right.
I thought it was a little extra with it, but that's what he was.
I'm not a big Wesley fan.
No, no, no.
And he's another guy where you're rooting for.
You're like, I know you got tax problems and this kind of stuff.
I'm rooting for Wesley.
It's great to see you come back.
But it is a great fucking movie.
You guys should all go check it out.
It's on Netflix.
But most importantly, I really resonated with this movie.
What's up, man?
I really resonate.
Push it all the way close.
I really resonated with the movie because the movie is about Eddie plays this guy named Rudy Ray Moore.
Yeah.
Who invents the Dolomite character.
And the Dolomite character is this loud, vulgar, non-PC comic, and nobody's giving him a shot.
So he records his own album in his fucking apartment.
Wait, are you giving spoilers?
No, The movie is about Dolomite and the making of the movie.
So it's not the movie Dolomite.
You can go watch that somewhere.
But this is about him and developing the character.
Got it, got it, got it.
And nobody giving an opportunity and him making his own shit and him going on stage and doing it and him releasing his own shit and like him selling his own shit.
It was all about, I'm going to do it myself.
I'm going to make these things happen myself.
And what?
I thought you were so original.
Son, I did.
I'm just a fake ass dolomite, bro.
But real talk, I like, I love it.
I think the movie's called I Am Dolomite, right?
Dolomite is my name, which is dope, too.
Now that you're telling me the context, that's dope.
Right?
Yeah.
And it's just like, I'm watching this movie, and I could, I just was, I just related so much to the hustle.
I related so much to like banking on yourself, putting your own fucking money up.
Like, he didn't know, they didn't know how to make a movie.
Yeah.
None of this shit.
They didn't know how to do it.
Just like when we're on the road in Europe, we didn't know how to shoot a fucking special.
Yeah.
We just put it together.
At one point in views from Assist, we balanced a camera on the back banister of this theater with a stick of gum to level it.
Wow.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, we're just doing this shit as it comes.
You know what I mean?
And it was like watching this happen and watching this and the massive success.
And you know what?
He knew he had a market.
And all these like execs were like, wow, who are these?
You know, this is going to appeal to five blocks of people.
Like, why do you care about the masses?
And Dolomite's like, in the movie, he's like, there's those five blocks in every single town.
And the five blocks were like the black neighborhood.
And he goes, there's a five blocks in Illinois and Indianapolis and LA and these things.
And it's like, it's one of those things where when you're creating and you know you have an audience and motherfucking execs might not because they're trying to pay bills.
But it's like, when I was putting out views, I was like, I know people need this.
I know they need flagrancy.
I know they need it because I'm in the streets.
I feel, I do these shows.
So it was just, it was an awesome movie.
And it just like spoke so much to like what we're doing and like our son, you know, our dolomite.
Dude, you're Dola White.
Dola White.
Dola White, son.
I got to change my fucking Twitter name to that right now, son.
Dola White is my name.
Dola White is my name.
Dola White, bro.
I got to be that is so good.
But yeah, man, please go see it, guys.
And then we'll have another discussion about it.
All right.
I'll watch it by Patreon.
I'll watch it tomorrow.
Just man of the motherfucking people.
I like those stories.
That's that Tyler Perry shit, man.
Yo, Tyler Perry.
Tyler the fucking story.
Say what you want about his movies, bro.
Can't take away that man's hustle, bro.
I always defended Tyler Perry.
I remember tweeting this years ago when I remember, was it fucking Red Tails or something?
Bullshit-ass movie came out about the Tuskegee Airmen.
And everybody's like, stop supporting these Tyler Perry movies.
No, it's not about that.
But people, like, woke black people were like, don't support this bullshit ass Tyler Perry stuff.
Go support Red Tails, directed by white-ass Steven Spielberg.
So who really are you supporting if you go see that movie instead of Tyler Perry?
I also say this: say whatever you want about him.
His hustle out hustles your hustle every fucking day of the year.
And Medea's a funny character.
Yo, and all these fucking yo, but you know, it's more funny.
I'll own up.
I was one of those people that was like, used to shade him in the beginning because I just didn't like it.
It just seemed like buffoonery and that type of shit.
It's like just seeing a dude in the dress, you're just immediately like, no, because Chappelle put that in black people's fucking stuff.
No, it was before Chappelle.
Like there's something.
No, Chappelle went on Oprah.
It was before Chappelle.
And he said some shit like, you know, even when I was looking at the colours, look at Wanda.
Let me just say, look at color.
Let me get out.
Let me get out.
So Chappelle went on Oprah.
There's a very famous recording of this.
He goes on Oprah and he's like, why is it every time we're in a comedy, we got to wear a dress?
We got to do this.
And he got in black people's heads that the white man is trying to put you in a dress to make fun.
Now, people have been in dresses for comedic effect.
It's lowbrow humor from the beginning of fucking.
Buck Bunny did it every episode of Looney Taylor.
And what?
And who is Dave Chappelle's comedic influence?
Oh, interesting.
I'm sorry.
Who is it?
Is it Bugs Bunny?
Motherfucker.
That's how he loved Bugs Bunny, bro.
That's part of the word.
He really had it.
Yeah.
Or it was Roger Rabbit, one of them.
No, no, no.
Are they the same thing?
I don't know.
Nah, Bugs Bunny is different.
Roger Rabbit's a movie.
He wasn't that funny in it.
Okay.
So that's funny.
So the point is, he got that shit in black people's heads.
Now, Tyler Perry goes, I'm making my content.
Nobody put me in the dress, but me.
I'm doing my shit in a dress.
That's true.
I'm decided to do this.
And just like Doloman, he's like, I know there's five blocks of people in every neighborhood who are going to love this shit.
And he created it for them.
And they brought him to the top.
And now he has a fucking movie studio in Atlanta that is producing not only black films, but white TV shows, black TV shows, all this other streaming shit.
And it's like, he fucking did it.
He closed his eyes to all the bullshit critics who have never done anything with their fucking lives will criticize and just went out and got it.
And now all those exact same critics are going, Tyler Perry, he's the man.
Look what he's built.
I didn't like Bugs.
I like Bugs Bunny.
I didn't like him because he wore dresses.
I like Jamie Foxx.
I didn't like him because he did Wanda.
You had a problem with Bugs Bunny wearing dresses.
No, that's not why I liked him is what I'm saying.
I'm saying I'm not saying, oh, Chappelle put it in black people's heads.
Like, no, that's not what happened.
I just never found it funny.
I was like, well, you're much, there's other shit that I found funny about him.
Like, I noticed not a fan of it.
And they give me the yucks.
But, like, I know what I found funny out of that shit.
It wasn't some Dave Chappelle putting in black people's heads that the man's trying to put you.
No, it's just like, Jamie Foxx is a funny motherfucker, bro.
Like, Wanda's the last thing I think about.
Like, Chris Walter.
Wanda was hysterical.
I'm a rocky girl.
That shit was funny.
And it's not, it doesn't.
And you're inclined to think whatever you want to say.
It's not even just the dress.
It's got to be more than, right?
Like, this ugly fucking...
Wanda's face was so ugly.
Lips out.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to rock your world.
Such a funny fucking thing to say.
Shanane wasn't funny.
I was literally just about to say, the only black man in a dress that was legitimately funny was Martinette Shanene.
Legitimately funny.
But everything else, I'm like, I just.
You like Big Mama's House?
Yeah.
That was your shit?
Yeah.
Mama's House comedy.
Yo, yo.
Breakfast, Big Mama's House.
Fucks.
The whole point of Big Mama's House is that he's dressed up.
That's the whole point.
That's the whole point of Big Mama's House is that he's dressed up.
So that's what made it especially funny.
Yo, Ms. Doubtfire wasn't funny.
Ms. Y'all really liked it.
Ms. Dalfire wasn't funny.
So it's a great movie.
I'm just saying.
I didn't think that's funny.
And then Medea wasn't.
It wasn't me, me not thinking Medea was funny and that was not being on some, oh, this is a black, strong black man trying to be a dress, yada, yada.
Nah, I just didn't think it was funny.
And Medea.
It wasn't for me.
Medea's movies.
Medea's movies, I watched a couple and I was like, this is like clearly for women.
It's too dramatic, whatever.
But whenever Medea was on the screen, that shit was funny to me.
Hello!
Man, Southern.
Yo, a lot of comedy just has to do with like juxtaposition, right?
When you take a massive black dude and then put him in a feminine little dress, it just creates comedic juxtaposition.
But still has like the fucking thug-ass.
It's like a thug-ass old lady.
Medea Movie Double Standard00:06:43
Yeah, it's funny.
Like beating up people, going to jail.
Like, this shit funny.
But wait for it.
That's another comedic juxtaposition.
Yeah, exactly.
Old lady, thug, right?
Those things aren't supposed to exist the same.
Same reason why McLovin is funny.
Nerd, acts like tough gangster.
McLovin.
That's all the hoes.
Nerd, dorky, lispy white dude.
Yes.
Talks like a gangster, right?
Anytime a comedic juxtaposition is, or anytime there's a severe juxtaposition, you're going to have a comedic effect.
Great point.
People just take that shit too further and it became like an insecurity and whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Point is, go do your fucking shit.
Fuck all these haters, man.
Bang.
You know?
Can't argue with that shit.
Just build, bro.
That's what we all got to be doing.
Listen, I don't give a fuck how you build the mansion, bro.
Build it.
Build this shit.
That's why I'm like, yo, like, just because those movies weren't for me doesn't mean I'm going to hate on the motherfucker.
Like, I'm not going to be like, yeah, I could totally give you credit for how you got there.
I mean, for what you built, but like, I don't have to be like a big fan of how you got there.
That's okay.
Like, is that not okay?
Like, is that not.
Dude, we can criticize how people got there.
We criticize Jay-Z.
Criticize people all the time.
Right?
Like, they're entertainers.
That's what we do.
We could criticize it or we don't like it.
Yeah, but I'm saying.
So, your view is nuanced.
I got no problem with, hey, good for him.
It's not for me.
That's a valid ass point.
But a lot of people were acting like what he was doing was setting black people back when in reality, he's creating black cinema with black art in a black studio that's going to make other black films.
Like, what he was doing was building something, and everybody refused to see it because people were more critical about Tyler Perry's movies than they were about Jay-Z's albums.
To play Devil's Advocate.
And Jay-Z was speaking things in several of his albums that I would say hold black people back way more than a loving grandmother.
To play Devil's Advocate there.
Yeah, I don't agree with that at all.
Really?
He was saying stuff he used to do that he doesn't do now, and now he was about his business and rising up people all around.
You're talking about two albums.
Yeah, you talk about it.
25 to a 250, 250, two, half a million.
Like, how long are you going to talk about old shit?
You're talking about two.
You don't think he's glorified at all?
If you're talking about that stuff, he was talking about the money he was making in the rap game.
That wasn't coming up.
You don't think that he had glorified the drug game after not doing it?
Yes, but he's not glorifying it saying you should do it.
He's just saying.
I think the album actually where it's the least glorified is his first one.
Maybe.
Reasonable doubt.
The Evils is like, who the fuck was this?
Yeah.
But after that, I didn't hear him doing that.
And he says this shit.
He's not trying to be conscious.
He doesn't want a message.
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.
Truth be told, lyrics sold.
Lyrically, I'd be common sense or whatever.
Oh, lyrically.
Lyrically, I would be Tyler Cooley.
Truthfully, I want to rhyme like Common Sense, but I did half a million.
I ain't been rhyming like Common Sense.
So he's saying right there, I'm not doing this conscious shit.
Yeah.
I'm not responsible.
But I wouldn't say he's hurting people.
I wouldn't say he's hurting the culture.
He's actively telling you, though, I don't give a fuck about being conscious in my art.
Yeah, but he's hurting people.
He's not a conscious comedian.
Hold on.
He's not hurting anybody.
Let's back up.
And I don't want this to sway the debate too much, but I just, these arguments are always annoying.
You think that in no way has Jay-Z glorified drug dealing in his art?
Not in a way to inspire others to do it.
I honestly don't think it was glorification.
I think he was just telling the story.
And he's talking about two albums in particular.
Talking about Reasonable Doubt, where it was literally all drug deal tales in my lifetime.
Literally all drug deal tales.
Every album from then on, you might have one or two songs where he's talking about shit he used to do.
But ever since then, it was just like, I make money, I get money, I get money.
From Hard Knock Life to Lifetime's S. Doc Carter.
American Gangster.
Well, American Gangster was quote unquote like the Frank Lucas story.
That was supposed to be the soundtrack to the album.
I'm not judging him.
I'm not judging him.
I'm not judging the song Big Pimping, right?
I'm not judging that way, you know, the way that maybe women are spoken about that.
I don't judge.
My point is, we are so quick to point a finger at Tyler Perry.
Like what he's doing is more detrimental than what Jay-Z is talking about.
I mean, like, who's Jay-Z talking about pimping?
Asian girls?
You know what I mean?
Like, nah, like, we know who's in the video.
Those black women that you love so much.
Al, where's the love for the black women?
Son, I love them.
Say what?
You don't love them?
I love them.
All right, but you allowed them to be pimped?
No.
You know what I'm saying?
It's just, you know, who got the black women's back?
Big mama or whatever fucking name is.
Big mama's saving out here.
Oh, Medea saving black women.
Medea out here saving them from the pimps.
To play devil's advocate.
Everyone girls, though.
You don't think that after hearing that over and over and over, thinking like, oh, you're sending black people, send black people out, send black people back.
You don't think the reason why he put that studio out, well, why he built towards that studio was because of the study.
Because he kept putting out Medea movies while he had the studio.
He bin had that studio.
Yeah.
House of Pain, I'm pretty sure, was filmed, pretty sure, at Tyler Perry Studios, and we're talking about 2007, 2008.
Yeah.
So, like, that's...
I started here.
Red Tails 2010, 2011.
I'm hearing this shit then.
He bin had his own studio before.
I mean, he went from if only black people watch it.
White people listen to Jay-Z's shit way more than black people.
Medea movies, only black people watch.
So they can't set a group of people back if they're the only ones watching it.
I mean, numbers-wise, that's a guess.
I'll tell you this, though.
It is 100% fact that way more white people listen to Jay-Z than black people.
No, I'm saying to say no white people watch Medea movies is just.
Okay, fine, but majority black people watch.
Would you say the majority, right?
I would say.
Same thing with Jay-Z.
I would say the majority of black people listen to Jay-Z.
But way more white people listen to Jay-Z than black people.
Not exactly.
Because of population density.
Yes, right?
And we know for a fact that those same numbers aren't reflected in Medea movies, right?
We know a much higher percentage of people that watch them are black than white.
Yeah.
That's all I'm trying to say.
Gotcha.
So he physically can't hold them black people back in the eyes of non-blacks because non-blacks aren't even watching it.
Whereas if that same thing is applied to, let's say, some gangster rap, the eyes that are on gangster rap, just because of population density and interest, are non-black.
Majority.
I don't want to get this into...
This is what happens with these conversations when we don't want to admit the truths of ours.
No, all I'm trying to explain to you is that you said that only black people watch Medea movies.
I'm like, that can't be possible.
It's majority.
It's a majority.
Yes.
Of course.
Hey, you know what?
I love Jay-Z music.
Vast majority of people that watch Passion of the Christ, Christians.
That's shocking.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, there's a reason he was playing it in those.
Yo, Mormons got a movie channel and they got a TV channel.
You know, the majority of people watch that shit?
Brady and Football Philosophy00:13:20
Mormons.
It's not, it's just what it is.
You know, it's fine.
It's just an interesting double standard.
We don't got to get too far into this.
It doesn't matter.
I don't know how we even got to this.
Point is, create your own shit.
Don't give a fuck what anybody says.
You're going to be hated if you are successful.
And if you're unsuccessful, no one will give a fuck about you.
All the criticism comes.
The same people that are critical of Jesus.
Nobody criticizes bums.
Nobody's critical of bums.
Good point.
You got to love the criticism.
You got to love.
I had to learn to love that.
Let them hate on you, Karen.
You said some ill shit one time.
You said the opposite of love isn't hate.
It's indifferent.
Yes.
That's fucking bar.
That's the worst.
Yes.
That's the worst.
I'd rather you be angry than just 100%.
100%.
100%.
Yeah.
That's a cash gem.
Yeah.
That's how I know.
I'm sure I stole it from someone.
No, it ain't.
Yeah.
It is a saying.
It is a quite popular saying.
But yeah, man, it's a look, it's a tricky situation.
I know we got some sports stuff we got to talk to.
We're at about two hours right now.
So let's get into.
A lot of the portals.
Let's get into it.
Yo, the Niners might be for real, huh?
Bro.
I didn't watch any football.
I watched.
I'm a fan of MAGA Bosa, bro.
MAGA BOSA.
MAGABOSA got one of those fucking D-line interceptions when he fucking was a Mexican trying to jump over the border, bro.
He tossed that shit right back, dog.
He'll fuck around.
He might be.
He's defensive rookie of the year already.
Already.
He might be defensive player of the year.
I mean, okay.
It was Khalil Mack for like four weeks, and then the Bears started sucking because Mr. Trubisky is like trash.
Right.
And the Bulls, Bulls, the Bears became trash.
But fucking Nick Bosa, dog.
Can y'all explain this to me, please?
Bad fucking dude.
How do the Patriots have the best defense in the league, non-stop coverage of said defense, non-stop headlines of said defense?
And I don't know a single person that plays defense for basics.
It's a great point.
Stephen Gilmore, one guy.
Break this down to me.
There's Gilmore.
Is Patrick Chung still on the team?
I don't think so, no.
But isn't it?
Because you know what the best defensive player is.
The best offensive player on the team is Bill Belichick's fucking mind.
So that's what we do.
We always give the credit to the coach and respect for the guys on that fucking team for not having the Odell Beckham Jr. egos that need to be stroked every five seconds.
We'll get to that in a little bit.
But they have arguably the most potent.
There was a statistic that came out and said that offenses would have a higher QB rating, quarterbacks would have a higher QB rating against the Patriots if they spiked the ball every single down than they would if they actually played.
That's crazy.
QB ratings against the Patriots are like 35.2 or something like that.
And if you spike every down, it's 36.9.
Some crazy.
That's crazy.
But how do we not know a lineman, a linebacker?
I mean, Gilmore's a corner, isn't he?
He's a corner.
So it's like, what the fuck is going on?
Probably because the team's just all around good.
That's what people are doing.
There's no standouts, bro.
So they're all around good.
Highlighted player because everybody's so good.
Is that possible?
They still got their boy Hightower, I think.
He's good, Dante Hightower.
They still have him?
Right.
They probably have Devin McCordy.
I think McCordy's brother now plays on the team.
These guys also, when they leave, don't tend to do much.
Remember when everyone talks about it?
The Patriots' model is to let their free agents go.
We don't give a fuck.
Remember when everyone's talking shit about Malcolm Butler not playing in the Super Bowl and shit?
I think that was a Belichick mistake, I think, to not play Butler.
Because you lost the Super Bowl and Nick Foles had like 400 yards.
But overall.
But have you heard of Malcolm Butler's?
No, that's a great point.
That's a fucking point.
Great Butler.
That's a great point.
Interesting.
So what is that?
Explain to me.
Bill Belichick's entire model, from what I understand, like they're saying, is do your job.
If I tell you what to do and you do it, we will win.
Trust everything else.
And they trust that.
That's why players, I don't know if they love Bill Belichick, but they just get it.
I heard, I think, Troy Aikman talking about it.
He was saying, like, players just know if he tells me to do something and I do it, we'll win.
There's a saying that people value security over freedom that if you could guarantee somebody's security in life, that they would hand over their freedoms, right?
And that is what people...
That's a good parallel.
Well, that's what people try to, that's what people try to do with like the guns thing, right?
Hey, if we get those guns off the streets, then you're safe, right?
Don't you want to be safe?
And you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
And then the other side goes, hey, if you want to be safe, well, here's some guns.
Guns will keep you safe.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
I wonder if that Belichick Patriots system offers security.
Like, there's a confidence and calm that comes with just going, if I just go in today and I do my job.
I mean, that's the football philosophy.
That's the football philosophy.
Like, it's supposed to be fucking drumline, one band, one sound.
If the team does good, all good things will happen.
Everybody will get what the fuck they want out of life, whatever.
But at the same time, a lot of people don't want to do that shit.
You know, you got people who were the man their entire life in high school, college, whatever.
They feel like they're going to get to the NFL.
It makes sense.
Like, you go to the NFL, you see motherfuckers like, who's a shutdown cornerback?
Jalen Ramsey, all up in fucking commercials, all this other shit.
Has he won shit?
No, not really.
And some people are okay with that because not everybody's going to win shit.
I'll say two things.
First, you also have to trust that your coach will outscheme the other coach.
And if I do my job, we'll win because his scheme is better.
There's only one coach I trust with that weekend and weekend.
That's a great point.
Because if you don't trust the coach, Jason Garrett, if you do your job, you're probably eight and eight.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
So now you start going, should I change things up so that we can actually win?
Yeah, or just like, what do I fucking listen to this guy for?
You don't have no skins on the wall.
I'm not impressed with any of your schemes.
What Belichick did to the Rams, I don't know that they've recovered since.
They're 5-2 now, but they beat up on a couple scrubs last two weeks, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, also Rams.
Yeah, the Rams and somebody else in London knows trash.
There was such a great fucking chess move made by Tom Brady, man.
And I think this was this last week.
I thought it was so fucking genius.
So they let go of Josh Gordon or they put him on injury reserve.
I guess they're going to let go of him in like a week.
And they trade for Mohamed Sunu.
Right.
And Sunu wears number 12.
And upon signing and trading him, Tom Brady DMs Mohamed Sunu, wide receiver for the Falcons, and now the Patriots.
And he says, hey, I know you're number 12.
If you want the number, it's yours.
Now, we all know ain't a fucking chance in the world that Tom Brady is giving up that number.
But he's testing to see if Muhammad Sunu is willing to sacrifice for the greater good of the team.
Interesting.
I also thought it was a way of like extending an olive branch.
100% too.
He said, you're going to love me.
And I'm not even.
We both know you're not going to take the fucking number.
And it's Tom Brady, so you would never do it.
But like now, Sunu is like, oh my God, what a guy.
But he's also going, wow, he's willing to sacrifice that for my comfort.
What am I willing to sacrifice for the comfort of the team?
But it was a genius fucking manipulation tactic because you get somebody's loyalty.
Yeah, of course.
In a heartbeat.
What a brilliant thing.
And it's testing.
I mean, dog, first off, off-rip.
Yeah.
You're a wide receiver for New England pitchers.
You fall in the fucking line.
You do.
So if you're going to be the motherfucker that comes in like, yeah, I want number 12.
Really?
Okay.
The whole city will be.
Here, take it.
Boston will hate your fucking guts.
How damn it is.
You should have called us bluff.
You should have called us fucking bluff.
Like, yes, I want number 12.
You should hate that, fam.
But look, bro.
Let me get off that.
I'm such a cynic.
Do players get a cut of their jersey sales?
Yeah.
I was like, Brady has had the same jersey, same number for so long.
Let me switch it up.
Because everybody already has a Brady jersey, I imagine, in New England.
You haven't had to get a new Brady jersey in forever.
Wow, get a quick point.
Get a quick spike right there just by changing the window.
That's a possibility.
And there's the rumors that are getting louder that he might leave at the end of the year.
Brady might be out next year, bro.
Where?
Bro, I don't know.
Here's my tinfoil hat, bro.
Between Belichick, Kraft shit.
I finally got to watch Living With Myself with Paul Rudd and the Tom Brady joke.
Oh, yeah.
So in context, I could see that, you know, if Brady says it wasn't planned with the whole Massage Product joke, I get it because now I've seen the whole thing that makes sense.
But I could totally see Robert Kraft being like, yo, I'm fucking going through all this shit.
You're going to go in here and do a fucking TV show.
Right.
Some shit happened behind the scenes.
And the Patriot way, nobody knows the Patriot way more than Brady, these motherfuckers.
They ain't going to let that shit leak out.
No.
They ain't going to let that.
None of that shit go into the press.
Bill Belichick barely gets five fucking words out in every fucking press conference.
Some shit happened between those three.
And it was on some one of us got to go.
Bill ain't going.
Draft the boss is got to be you, dog.
It's got to be you.
He's 42 years old.
He probably feels like he could still go.
If you look at the way they're calling the plays, they're not really letting Brady loose like he used to.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, he's not really throwing it.
And maybe it's old age, whatever, but you can kind of tell that they'll be a little conservative, or maybe he's being conservative on purpose because, hey, he's not trying to empty the tank.
He still wants to play a couple more years.
Some shit definitely went down between them.
And I totally believe he's out of there next year.
In one way or another, by retirement or going to another team, he'll probably go.
I'm almost positive if he leaves, he goes to a team in the division.
Some shit happened, dog.
Some shit happened.
I think he goes to Buffalo.
A lot of people say in Buffalo, they're very patriot-like.
They played him the toughest this year.
Buffalo just got A.J. Green.
Good.
Buffalo did get A.J. Green.
Yeah, he got Brad.
Buffalo.
Josh Allen is not.
Bro, I watched that game hoping the Eagles lose.
I had nothing to do yesterday but watch football.
They're terrible.
Yeah.
The other team I was interested in would be the Bears.
We said this last week, I think.
Nice little defense.
Crazy defense.
Good special teams always for somehow.
I don't know how the fuck.
For some reason, I could totally see Tom Brady on the Bears.
Cold weather, he's fine with that.
Yeah, like every other team, I'm like, oh, it wouldn't look weird.
But for some reason, I think because it's like an old school, one of the original teams and shit, they got the fucking old-ass field.
He's old as fuck.
You know what'd be fun about the Bears?
You know who's in their division?
Aaron Rodgers.
Aaron Rodgers.
That duel twice a year would be fine.
Aaron is playing out of his mind, dude.
Bro, that fucking throw.
He made the best throw I've ever seen.
He's like jumping, falling to the side.
He sidearms it, and it's not even an arm.
He's a 30-yard pass.
But like, how far was it?
They started at the 10 or something like that.
It must have been like a 15 yards.
He gets blitz.
He runs back probably 15 yards.
He's probably at the 30.
So he runs back.
Let's say he's at the 20.
Yeah.
It's 10 yards into the end zone.
That's true.
It's a 30-yard sidearm flick to a point in the end zone where only the receiver could grab it.
Under this tables, the end zone.
He threw it right where that fucking mic stand is.
And that is literally the only place it could go or it's going out of bounds.
And that shit fell right into his pocket.
And I was just like, it was one of those things, like, you know, Chris Collinsworth, say whatever you want about him, being the commentator.
He's had some of these like epic, like, delayed reaction calls.
He had the same fucking call when Odell caught the catch in Dallas, where nobody really knew if it was a catch or not.
And then he just has these delayed reactions.
He's like, oh, my God.
I think that's a touchdown.
And he called it in.
And he's so whack, but he's so great for those fucking delayed reactions to these incredible plays that only happen on Sunday night football.
And holy fuck, Aaron Rodgers, man.
I know for some reason people try to kind of write him off every year with the Mahomes and the Watsons of the world.
Didn't you do that?
I did.
I was one of those guys.
I was like Mahomes.
He's accusing other people of shit.
He does all these things.
I'm not the only one.
I'm not the only one.
We all sip into Mahomes Kool-Aid and even the Watson Kool-Aid ranking up.
They're both incredible.
But fuck, Aaron Rodgers is still that man, dog.
He's still that man until proven otherwise.
We got to wrap this up soon.
LeBron's Best Team Ever00:05:45
Is there something else you really want to touch on?
Because we're way over two.
Do we need to talk about any basketball?
The Warriors are horrible.
Oh, let's talk about the Warriors being horrible real quick.
Because it's interesting.
The whole league is relishing on this.
And I guess what I'm trying to say is they had a couple horrible losses.
I think they lost by like 40 or something like that.
To the fucking Thunder.
To the Thunder.
The Rebuilding Thunder.
The Rebuilding Thunder.
So it's important to understand, right?
It's important to understand what the Warriors, right?
They've suffered a couple big losses.
So you got to ask who is supposed to defend, right?
You have no Iggy, which is really big defensively.
People like Iggy and Sean Livingston.
No Clay, which is really big defensively.
And then you have no KD, which is big offensively and defensively.
The only way that they're going to be able to compete is if they let Steph go ham.
And I think that they're going to unleash it.
Now, is he too old?
Is he too weak?
Is he able to fucking go for 40 every night?
But the only way they'll be able to beat teams is if they outscore him because they don't have the personnel to defend.
They just do not have it.
Who's going to lock down?
Steph?
Draymond is the only defender they got.
Dre's the only.
Drew is the ultra glue guy.
He's the ultra glue guy.
He will only be good on good teams.
This is totally out of reach.
He's like, if Frank Ilikino was a big man, like on a team with good players.
On a team with good players, he would put up great numbers, right?
But Draymond and Steph, Steph's game just isn't conducive to a 50-win team by himself.
Not in this league.
He's good.
When they can send two people at you every single day, he's got to go crazy.
Y'all see the quote I just sent like an hour ago to the group thread is Patrick Beverly yelling at the Warriors bench.
Y'all a little different without KD, I see.
Y'all cheated long enough.
It's okay.
Y'all had a really good run.
Back to reality.
Wow.
Thanks.
Nobody fears them at all.
Wow.
And you know what?
Why would they fear them?
They're never going to call off the dogs on these dudes.
Why would they?
They went down 50 at half.
You think they called off the dogs?
You think they had the best players?
So there's nothing to fear.
I don't know.
But you still thought the squad was good on paper.
I mean, I think we thought Clay was coming back at the all-star break.
But like, oh, D'Angelo Russell, he's solid.
Oh, they still got chemistry.
No fucking chance.
With Clay, they're interesting again because now you have a stopper and you have another guy who lights out.
And those three guys lights out is very interesting.
Should we be concerned that it's not a nine-month ACL injury, which is kind of normal for ACLs now, right?
I think they're just being actually throwing the year.
Do they have a draft pick this year if they're as bad as they're going to be able to do that?
Yeah, I think they've let go any picks.
But I think Clay's.
If I'm a betting man, I think Clay's back by March.
I mean, if they're in contention, I think he's back by March.
So here's my other question.
Whose legacy does this affect more?
Steph or LeBron's?
Son, before we answer that, your boy Jordan might have been right.
Come on, Tom.
Stop.
Stop.
Jordan said he's not a Hall of Famer yet in the season where he had to prove his Hall of Fame worthiness.
And right now they're getting bombarded.
Let's be fair.
But go on, answer that question, though, which is.
What we've always said about LeBron, and I love LeBron as much as he loves China.
Big LeBron fan.
Didn't like the move to L.A., but whatever.
Fine.
What you always said, I want to see LeBron with a true team.
He had the heat with Dwayne Wade, and then Dwayne wasn't the same after the first year.
He had the Cavs where he was, him and Kyrie and Kevin Love, and that's it.
Everybody else sucks.
He had the Cavs before with fucking Booby Gibson as the second best player.
He's never had a squad that's not even all-stars, but just good fucking players top to bottom.
Steph has had a historically good supporting cast.
Since we started looking at him as an MVP, he has had Clay Thompson, the best two-way player maybe in history.
I mean, Kawhi.
Take that back.
Kawhi.
He's top 10 two-way player in history.
Let's say this.
I'll pull back.
He's our generation's Pippin.
Okay.
In the sense of being a two-way player.
He's better, but go on.
He has Draymond Green, who's one of the all-time great blue guys, use Kaz's term.
He has Sean Livingston as his fucking backup.
Iggy, who's an all-star if he wants to be on his own team at that age, he has fucking KD come over.
A lot of help.
And he cooks everybody.
A lot of help.
Of course he cooks everybody.
I mean, he's great, but like, it's easy to cook when nobody can double you.
No.
Who are you going to double off of?
Couldn't be more right, dude.
Now he's getting doubled.
And you can probably honestly triple team him.
Yeah.
And what's he doing?
We've seen it happen before.
When the Cavs won their first title.
No.
Yeah.
When the Cavs won their first title and, you know, LeBron, it was like LeBron and fucking Matthew Del Vadova versus the world or whatever.
Oh, and they were up 2-1 against the Warriors in that playoffs.
If LeBron has Kyrie, I'm convinced there's no way they lose that series.
Yeah, I think that one team was probably LeBron's best team.
Even Miami, like top to bottom.
That was his best team that he's ever had.
Interesting.
But with the Warriors and Steph, his game just isn't conducive to take over solely by himself.
Like, yes, he has a superstar talent.
He has a superstar trait.
He has one thing that he does better than anybody in the entire world.
In history.
In history.
But the way he's built, the way he plays, how finesse his game is, it's only good for like 40 games.
He's going to run out of gas.
Ticket Scarcity Announcement00:05:00
Like, he's going to.
Motherfuckers are going to lay the wood on him for them first two, three weeks.
It's going to be.
You got to sit him a lot of games to save him.
I mean, for next year.
I think, yeah, 100% save him for next year.
Old management.
If you want him to get any wins at all, he's going to have to go for 40.
And if he's going for 40, it's going to take a heavy toll on that body, man.
He's not young.
Honestly.
Steph is 30.
He's 31 years old.
Yeah, he's 31.
So it's like, this is not a young guy.
This is 31-year-old.
History of ankle injuries.
And now you have to carry the weight of a shit team.
Whoa.
So Lois Akees, I trade D'Angelo Russell.
Immediately?
Immediately.
I didn't like that fit.
I thought it would be a cute fit.
I thought all that he was was trained bait.
Yeah, that's what I thought, too.
I didn't think they were going to keep him.
I think they need to get a 3D wing.
They need somebody to compliment Draymond.
Someone to compliment fucking Coley Stein and those guys.
That's a funny name.
That's a funny race.
Oh, man.
But yeah, I trade him.
Guys, some dates or anything like that before we run out of here?
Yes.
So look, we will be this weekend, Chico.
And we'll be there on Friday.
Chico, California.
Saturday, Sunday, Sacramento, sold out.
Thank y'all so much.
Then we're coming back.
The 14th, Connecticut, Norwalk, the Wall Street Theater.
The 16th, Boston, the Wilbur Theater.
Two shows.
Still tickets left for the second show.
And then the 22nd, New York Town Hall.
Excuse me.
New York Town Hall.
I think we have like 60 tickets left for the second show total.
Get on that immediately.
Sell that out.
And DArewSchultz.com for those tickets.
We just added Edmonton and New Orleans as well.
So those will be available at DeAndrewSchultz.com.
Matador is the pre-sale code for those.
That's only available for y'all that know about it.
So Matador, do that.
I love y'all.
And Akash, Kaz, you know, I got to run, so I'm going to let you close this up.
I love y'all.
Keep it tight.
Yes, sir.
Be good.
Atlanta, this weekend, November 2nd, we are at the Masquerade.
DJ Screaming Friends.
Oh, Duce Palooza, Masquerade.
DJ Screaming Friends, DJ Moran, DJ Princess Cuts, Susse, Sushi Siege, DJ Blackboy.
We got Pee Wee Longway and Money Man performing as well.
And Atlanta, Los Angeles, California.
That was a lot.
And you right after that, November 8th, 2019 at the Palladium.
Get your tickets on DucePalooza.com slash tickets.
We made the big announcement this past week.
Duce Palooza, Brooklyn, New York, Barclays Center, motherfucking December 13, 2019.
Get your tickets now because when I announce that fucking lineup, them tickets are going to fly out.
That's so crazy.
And shout out to everybody who tuned in the big apple buckets from New York Post, my next podcast, all my Knicks fans.
We did really good numbers the first week.
So, you know, if you subscribing to it, thank you so much.
Means a whole hell of a lot to me.
So that's all I got.
Let me see it spreading.
Yes, sir.
Let me ask you a question about Barclays.
Barclays, bro.
That first ball is fucking insane.
Second of all, how do people party?
Are they going to be in the stands?
Are they going to be on the so there'll be sections?
Well, they'll have a floor section, which is GA.
You can go wherever you want.
We'll have a stage right in the middle, and then there'll be sections within the crowd.
So, you know, if you're in section 100, there'll be a designated bar to your section so you can party in there and you can get your tickets and get your drink on and all that type of shit.
So there'll be sections, but if you get a floor seat, you can go wherever you want.
It's just like a regular.
This guy is doing stadiums for concerts with no musical talent.
It is.
That's fucking incredible, man.
It's incredible.
No, no, no.
I mean, none of you guys are musicians.
Facts.
And you're selling like fucking Ariana Grande.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, bro.
That's amazing, man.
And it's no, and I'm complimenting because you guys built it from fucking a backyard party or whatever, right?
Basement, yeah.
Basement, bro.
Incredible.
Incredible.
Thank you, man.
You're a dolomite for parties.
Guys, I am in San Diego, November 7th, 8th, and 9th at the American Comedy Club.
I am the next night at the Tempe Improv, November 10th.
November 14th, I'm also going to be in Connecticut.
So if you're closer to Andrew, go see him.
If you're closer to me, or if you try to buy tickets to Andrew's show and that shit is sold out, come see me.
And then December 19th and 20th, or sorry, December 20th and 21st, we are in Mumbai at the Habitat Comedy Club.
Buy tickets.
Hopefully, we can add a Thursday also if we keep selling tickets.
So go check that out.
HakashSing.com.
Thank you guys for listening.
Alex, Eddie, you guys have anything you want to say?