Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, and guests dissect comedy's shifting landscape, arguing that authentic voices require performing in diverse venues rather than catering to politically aligned crowds. They critique PC culture's impact on humor while analyzing sports moments like Lamar Jackson's fourth-down gamble and Amari Cooper's elite route-running. The episode features an interview with Adam No Jumper regarding his strategy of interviewing emerging hip-hop talent over established stars, contrasting this with cynical views on modern political discourse and motivational literature. Ultimately, the discussion highlights how fragmentation in comedy mirrors broader societal divides, suggesting that genuine connection demands navigating uncomfortable truths beyond safe, echo-chamber environments. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Ray J and Flagrant Thoughts00:11:39
What up, everybody?
Flagrant 2.
Another episode, new opening.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh, Real Life Caz and Alex Media, but we don't even need to do those introductions because you click the link.
You know who the fuck we are.
Some of y'all see that we have my man Adam from No Jumper Podcast, No Jumper Productions, No Jumper Pornography, No Jumper Everything on the podcast today.
That interview starts in about an hour and change.
So if you don't give a fuck about what we got to say, you could just fast forward right to that.
But if you like to indulge in the flagrancy, we have a lot of it this week.
Trust me.
We almost hit Patreon levels.
Alex had to, Alex really had to calm us down for a moment.
He really had to reel us in.
Thank you so much.
We appreciate you.
Got you.
Without further ado, let's start the episode.
And here it is.
Flagrant 2.
Keep it tight.
What's up, everybody?
Flagrant 2 has begun.
Different intro today.
Oh, a lot of energy.
A lot of energy.
Energy is shifting.
Uh-huh.
We don't need to introduce ourselves.
You know who the fuck we are.
You clicked on the goddamn link.
That's right.
Spread these legs.
They uncrossed.
I'm not letting women bully me into taking less space.
Taking the exact amount of space God wanted me to take.
All right.
Put my dick and balls in between my legs so I could man spread.
I'm fucking ready.
I'm ready.
I'm ready for some flagrancy.
I got my take.
Ask you sit on a pillow for your hemorrhoid.
You shifted it.
We gotta be tough with a hemorrhoid pillow.
My hemi's gone, but it's so comfy, bro.
It's like, once you have the hemi pillow, once you have the hemi pillow in your life, you can't go back.
But you know what it is?
It's like a bidet.
You get me?
I'll be wiping my ass now with dry fucking toilet paper.
I'm like, yo, poor people suck.
I just took a shit, and I felt so bad that I couldn't properly clean my ass.
Yo, you know what you got to do?
Clean my ass like peasants.
Dude, it's pathetic.
I'm not Kingslanding in my ass.
You know what you got to do?
You got to spit on the toilet paper, get a little moist.
I do.
I got a lot of arms, though.
So a lot of times, my bad.
How deep you getting in your asshole.
My toilet.
No, my toilet can reach.
Right by the time I get to the wrist.
What's this in my wristwatch?
Maybe I should pull out.
That's the only reason why you got to watch.
It's a buffer.
You're like, okay, calm down.
It's only Monday.
Oh, gosh.
No, I reached the faucet, give a little dab.
Get a little dab with the toilet paper.
Boom.
Not in this bathroom, though.
You got to make them wet wipes, bro.
I'll take a little toilet paper residue if I get some extra extra cruds out of there.
Extra nuggets.
Take that backpack.
Take that shit with you.
And then it's just be drying up if you don't stick it.
I stole mad hospitals.
And then you got this dry ass fucking.
What's that?
I stole mad hospital wet wipes.
Yo, you got to do it.
Get your money.
Pay for healthcare.
Hospital quality wet wipes.
The best.
The best.
Here's my flagrant thought of the week.
It's actually a little bit old, but I'm going to run it by you guys because I don't know if we spoke about it on this podcast.
Maybe we did.
I'm not sure.
But did we talk about how in South Korea?
Okay.
So in South Korea, this doctor aborted the wrong baby.
Oh, fuck yo.
Yeah, yeah.
So it was like, it was actually kind of crazy.
Like there was two women went in.
One went in to have the baby.
The other went in to have the abortion.
And like, wait, did they do that in the same place?
Son, yeah, yeah.
At the hospital.
Are you allowed to get abortions that late?
No, no, no.
I guess it was just there.
Like one was just checking.
No, not have the baby.
Sorry.
One was there to just get her check up.
And the other one was there to get the abortion.
And the doctor aboard the run baby.
And the headline of the article was like, oh, my God, how could this happen?
And then I'm looking at like, I can see how mistakes could be made in that particular part of the world.
I'm just throwing that out there.
Hey, they can't even tell.
They can't tell.
Y'all not going to be upset at us for mixing it up no more, bro.
My man really looked at two women and was like, all right.
That works.
Fuck.
Seems this all checks out.
Yo, that was my flagrant thought of the week.
God damn.
Do I got a flavor?
My flagrant thought of the week.
God damn.
Fucking Ray J. Whoa.
What was this?
Ray J?
Proud sponsor of this podcast.
Proud sponsor of this podcast.
Still need to pay up, by the way.
Still needs a pay up, but I'm sure he will because Ray J is probably one of the greatest living black Americans.
Okay.
One of the greatest flagrants.
I would like to court.
Ray J. Let's fucking start it off.
Boom.
Someone give him a boulevard.
Let's start.
Let's start it off.
You're not a great black American unless you got a boulevard, bro.
Oh, he will.
You know, he runs Compton.
You know, it was the first blood.
He was the first blood on record.
Really?
Yes.
He was the first blood to like, he was the first singer to claim blood on record.
That's a fact.
That's an absolute fact.
Before that, Ray Jay.
Ray J. Boulevard runs right through Kim Kardashian's driveway.
Dog, think of all the greatness Ray J has given us.
Okay.
He's given us the Kardashians.
Right.
Brandy's brother, Moesha, fucking those scooters and shit.
Ray kind of had phones.
He didn't give us Moesha.
He didn't give us Moesha.
Brandy gave him Moesha.
Brandy gave us MayJ.
Yeah, Brandy really is the GOAT when you think about it.
But think about it, though.
Like, who's really lasted longer?
Who's really stayed out the public eye?
Like, Ray Jay didn't remember.
Brandy had to stay out the public eye.
Ray Jay didn't a better driver, clearly.
Bro, like, think about it.
Floyd Mayweather, you know what I'm saying?
Like, classic moments in black culture.
Wait, what happened with Floyd?
Is he a 24-7 or Ray J's singing on his piano?
Fucking weak-ass boys.
Fabulous.
No, I forgot this.
And he made fat, he pumped Fabless on the Breakfast Club, talking mad shit, and made him apologize in front of everybody.
Wait, he did?
I didn't remember this.
I don't remember that.
Dog, he caught, this is a classic moment in Breakfast.
Alex, you remember this shit?
Yeah, but I don't remember Fab apologizing.
I remember Ray J sounding like an idiot because he was coked up during the interview.
Listen, all know.
Really?
Yeah, he was crazy calling.
Oh, no.
Yo, Ray J was talking this.
Only thing I know about Ray J is his dick, bro.
I've ever seen.
I know that shit's so good.
Just him and Rick.
I just like R.
I was going to say who you, who's the most.
Honestly, Rick's dick could fit inside Ray J's dick.
Like, you want to talk about docking, bro?
Motherfucker could deep dock.
Dude, Rick's dick could fit inside Ray J's dick hole and then go to the balls.
Guaranteed.
But, bro, it's like a trombone.
I'll say all that to say.
News came out this week that Suge Knight has given all he's given his life rights to Ray J. In other words, Ray J can produce a movie, a play, whatever he wants.
Wow.
Whatever he wants.
Wow.
Sug Knight has been through so much shit, killed so many.
Well, allegedly.
If Ray J really cared about the black community, you know what he produced?
Evidence.
That's shoot.
But you don't know.
I don't know, man.
Ray J. I've never been one to doubt Ray J and his greatness.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like for almost, what, 25 years he stayed irrelevant?
My God.
He's the greatest black American.
He's one of the greatest living black Americans of our time.
Okay, give me your top five greatest black Americans.
Living black Americans.
All right, we got to go.
Barack Obama.
Okay.
Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah Winfrey.
Solid.
Tyler Perry.
Tyler Perry.
Tyler Perry's in there.
TP.
You got to put Tyler Prime.
Ty Perry in there, bro.
Okay.
Ray J. Ray J. Maya Angelou.
Above Jay.
Ah, Jay.
Ray J.
No, I'm just kidding.
Ray J did more with less.
Ray J. Ray J did more with less.
If you're going by like the Tom Brady system of like, you know, Jay-Z's like Tom Brady.
It's like, all right, you're in a great system.
Like, no.
Great artist, great wife, great fucking all this other stuff.
Ray J's the Tom Brady.
Ray J is like the Patrick Mahomes, bro.
Hold up.
Jay.
Jay is the natural ability, natural skill.
Whereas Ray J doesn't have the natural ability or skill, but has done so much because I don't even know if you can give him the Patriot system.
He kind of did it without any.
You know, he was more like Ray J. Trent Dopfer.
Real talk.
Real talk.
Ray J is the Trent Doper.
You don't know how he did it.
Don't even look at the record book.
He's got a Super Bowl under his belt, bro.
Maybe he's Eli.
He's like, maybe.
Maybe.
Yeah, dude.
He's done it with no system.
Ray Jay is no support.
No talent.
No talent.
No real talent.
When you think about it.
One wish is.
Yo, he's the Eli Manning.
Eli Manning of Black Man, bro.
Just a lesser known brother.
A lesser known brother.
May or may not be retarded.
Somehow manages to outlast.
It's like, yo, he's got his channel.
Ray J was here, yo.
He's got his moments.
It's like when you look at the Hall of Fame, you say, Eli Manning's a Hall of Famer.
The first thing you say is like, no.
And then you look at it, it's like, damn, he's really.
He might be a Hall of Famer, bro.
That's Ray J, bro.
Eli Ray J. Ray Jay Manning.
Yo, there's not a weaker voice in a hit song than him singing One Wish.
That shit was singing One Wish.
Facts.
Best friends.
Still win number one, though.
And when number one, it shit slapped.
I wish somebody else said it because it slapped so fucking hard.
Hold on, I gotta get this up.
Oh, man.
But if I get one, he's not even singing.
He's just like talking rhythmically.
What was the song with Lil Kim?
Wait a minute.
Oh, Joe made it went hard.
Are you kidding me?
He was one of the first singers on Pharrell Beat on Neptune Beats, bro.
Come on, man.
Give Ray J his props.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
It's at least 20 years old.
Still slaps.
Hold on.
We got to kind of talk through it because we don't want to get flagged.
Talk about it.
We had another joy that slapped that with that hit song.
Yo, hold up.
I hit it first.
Hold on.
I got to give credit.
I got to give credit to the Joe Budden podcast, man.
Yes.
I saw a clip on YouTube and I was howling.
It was Joe Button making fun of designer.
Remember that song, Timmy Turner?
Yeah, yeah.
But he was calling it, he was going, Willy, Willy, Willie Bonka.
He'd be making all the talk clips.
That shit had me fucking dying, bro.
Oh, my.
Bro, it's like a five to eight minute clip of him just doing him just doing Willy Wonka instead of Timmy Turner, bro.
You should probably not.
He'd be wearing the rompa or something.
Sounding just like Hookie Monster.
It's every time of Slack, though.
Yo, designer had a little bit of I love Timmy Turner.
Willy Wonka Parody Madness00:15:03
Yeah.
But after listening to that song, I'll never listen to that shit the same again, bro.
This actual song wasn't even good.
Like the double XL freestyle with no beat, and he's just sitting there by himself.
I'm like, this is fantastic.
Fire.
And then the song came out.
The song comes out.
I'm like, all right, it felt too intimate.
It was like, it's just you and Designer.
Yeah, like in a room together.
You're like, it goes in the bed.
What's going on?
Who produced this?
Okay, back to Ray J.
Yeah, Ray J the GOAT, the greatest.
All right.
Keep going.
Get another one.
Send out love Do you first?
Is this the actual?
Do you think you would pick it up from here, Alex?
No.
Oh, that's not a weird version.
That's not the real version.
Nah, you got to go to the matter of fact.
That was the one that stand out.
Do you first?
That was about eight years ago.
That sounds like I should.
Like you, though, no.
Come on, son.
Oh, you're thinking of sexy can I?
Sexy.
Sexy canna.
Yo, Ray J the best black cat ever.
Get rid of the cops, beat it.
Beat it, Opama.
Beat it, Oprah.
Oprah, you ain't got no hats.
God damn.
You ain't selling no scullies.
Vince Stables never lied, man.
He's selling sunglasses, headphones.
That bitch has an ugly Beyoncé to me.
Wow.
Wow.
Is that your flagrant thought of the week?
Yo, you know what?
Fuck Oprah, yo.
Wow.
Fuck Oprah, dog.
Okay, break it down.
You're right.
We just decide this bitch the truth and for what?
She the truth.
Just say black lady.
She the truth.
Just say black lady.
Yo, yo, go on, go on.
Convince me.
I'm not knocking you.
Just convince me.
Because right now, I'm not convinced.
You're convinced that Ray J is one of the greatest black living black Americans.
No, first of all, Ray J.
This is the greatest black Americans ever in history.
George Washington Carver.
Hold on, let's be honest.
Number one.
Yo, number one, George Washington Carver.
Peanut butter off rip.
Yo, let's be honest.
How many of y'all use peanut butter?
How versatile some of the people are.
People white people, they're racist as fuck.
We're like, nah, that motherfucker makes them good peanut butter.
Jelly shit.
Real jelly ain't shit without George Washington.
How many racist white people just having jelly sandwiches, right?
No.
How do we give him that much credit just for putting peanuts in his mouth and chewing?
It's like, oh, yo, peanuts.
Nobody else did.
That's all he said.
Nobody was that simple.
Everybody did something.
Peanut butter and jelly, son.
Peanut butter and jelly.
That's the greatest motherfucking sandwich ever.
It's so great.
Like, even the racists, when they eat it, they're like, I know what the N stands for.
He had a little for everybody.
He had a little.
Because if you think about it, it goes peanut butter.
Okay, so back to what we're talking about.
We have number one, George Washington Carver.
Boom.
Okay.
Off rip.
Number two, OJ.
Bro.
Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
Yo.
Legend.
Okay.
You got it.
Okay.
Dogs.
Number one.
George Washington Carver.
Number two, OJ.
Number three, Abraham Lincoln.
Number four, who's number four?
Abe Lincoln.
Abe Lincoln, definitely fourth greatest black man in American history.
Number four.
Brad.
Damn.
If Tiger wins one more Master, Tiger Woods wins one more movie.
You just call it Master, isn't it?
Especially in reference to Tiger.
It's Master.
Yo, son.
That's how mad and uncomfortable he said Tiger gets a master.
You relax.
I said peanut butter three times.
Peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter.
That's fucking candy man for black people, son.
He said, if Tiger Woods wins another master, I swear to God, he might be the greatest I've ever seen before.
Alex got some son of action I've never heard of in my life.
Wow.
I'm like, is that Chico Bean Bro?
Where does the accent come from, dog?
Tiger Wolves get another massive.
This mad consonants you just forgot.
He wins another massive.
What if that was like the rebranding of the tournament?
If Tiger wins another massive, we're going to be able to stay out late.
We need to go to the big house.
If Tiger wins one more massive, apparently it's only four battles of cop we have to pick the masses.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, God.
Can I give you a brown jacket?
I say what?
Some burnt Sienna.
Okay.
Oh, God.
So, and then number five, we need number five.
Greatest black man in history.
Kobe.
Kobe.
Russell Wilson.
Magic Johnson.
I'll snoop the song.
Oh, Magic Johnson.
Magic Johnson.
Boom.
Son, a black man invented peanut butter and the cure for AIDS.
Right?
A black man finally found a way to make a white woman turn into a black woman.
That's Tiger Woods.
A black man got on and left his white woman.
When you heard that a woman chased down her boyfriend and beat him with a golf club, there was a little party like Tiger dating black women again?
Come on.
That's not a white woman activity.
A white woman drowned your kid, but she's not going to chase down a car with a fucking golf club.
The bitch chased down a navigator.
You got to be fast.
That's not Nordic speed.
That's North Carolina.
I was tried shoes, bro.
That's Nolan's speech.
Damn.
That's Nolan's speech.
Okay, then number five.
Number five.
I said Snoop Dogg or Russell Wilson.
No magic.
Magic.
Okay, so we have George Washington Carver.
Number two is you said it.
OJ. George Washington Carter.
OJ.
Abraham Lincoln.
We got to get Abe out of there.
Abraham Lincoln.
We got to get Abe out black.
We don't want to retard that.
Abe's the first ally, B.
I mean, he's the first ally.
Why'd you call him a retard?
What?
Dwarfism or whatever the fuck he has.
That's retard.
Dude, you tell him that dwarfs.
He's like 6'6.
I thought you said he was retarded because he freed the slaves.
He took away our masses.
I'm with a two map.
Like the Andre the Giant.
Alex, what's happening?
Alex, what's going on?
Andre the Giant, people with that disease.
Gigantism.
That gigantism.
Gigantism.
Yes, he did.
He did have a version of Gantas.
Oh, he didn't have a sick.
Abraham Wilson was 6'6, bro.
Sonny had a version of that.
He wore the top hat.
He wasn't even that tall.
He was like 6'2 without the top hat.
All right, he had a version of that.
Flagrant thought.
That's the flagrant thought.
Fuck out of here.
All right, let's go.
What else?
Oprah and shit.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, so are we on your Oprah ain't shit?
All right, go.
That's your flagrant thought of the week.
You judge a tree by the fruit it bears.
Right.
What the fuck?
Good fruit.
All jokes aside.
Dr. Oz, from what I understand, he ain't talking about shit.
He's a little scammy.
Dr. Phil, annoying.
No real talent, not a therapist at all.
The doctor that killed Kanye Mama.
That's an Oprah wreck.
Oh, wow.
Dr. Conrad, motherfucking whatever, killed MJ.
That's an Oprah wreck.
I'm just saying at a certain point, you guys start looking at this lady like, what the fuck are you really giving us?
Oprah really just try to get Michael Jackson out of here, too, with that HBO documentary, too.
Oprah produced the fucking this bitch gotta go.
How fucking dare you?
Son, Oprah killed Emlet.
Yo, Jessica, you boring.
You gotta get out, thriller.
Just give no suspense in your show.
Fucking MJ, son.
Dude, Oprah's like white Hillary Clinton.
Yo.
She got bodies, bro.
You didn't think I had a case when I started.
I just knew in my gut I didn't like this bitch.
And I tell you now, it's facts.
But what about the school she made in Africa?
Everybody be making school.
LeBron got a school.
Big fucking deal.
LeBron made a pretty cool school.
It's a great school.
LeBron got a school in Ohio.
This bitch paid $1,000 to get a school made in Africa.
That's cheap as fuck making school in Africa.
You know what the exchange rate is on whatever the fuck currency they use?
Fucking Buffalo Hides or whatever.
Oh, man.
What kind of zebra skin y'all take for currency, huh?
That shit is dumb cheap, this bitch.
You make a compelling case, I must say.
Okay.
I don't agree with you, but I'll defend your rights.
So, Oprah's sitting in a fucking cage.
She fucking gale won't tell nobody.
You proud of who you are, Oprah.
It's 2019.
We got transes now.
Why are you so ashamed to be a little gay?
Do you think she's gay?
I don't know, probably.
What's that gale shit about?
I mean, they be fives, right?
You can't have friends.
Road dogs.
You don't think they don't think they got friends?
I just don't ever see her and Steven seem to be together.
Seven, the greatest side piece?
Yeah, he's kind of a side piece.
Yeah, I mean, I like the flagrancy.
It's a good life.
She had a good show, apparently.
I never watched it.
Did you watch it?
She gave away a bunch of cars and shit.
Yo, she really did bribe people into watching that.
That's what I'm saying, yo.
I mean, just giving people cars.
I forgot who Chris rocked.
I think it was the kid to tax man off her ass.
That's why she kept shit away.
He's like, this motherfucker's after me.
Damn.
I don't.
You make a complaint.
What good fruit has this tree given us?
Mal said this about Charlemagne.
Look at the fruit that Charlemagne gave us.
He helped out Andrew.
He helped out Kaz.
Andrew helped out me.
Andrew helped out Alex.
What is Oprah?
Where's her tree?
That's an Oprah tree of success.
Catch me outside.
How's Dr. Perry?
Well, that's Dr. Pebby.
Hell yeah.
That guy ain't got no real, he's not really helping nobody.
He's not a real doctor.
I mean, Dr. Conrad Murray.
Dude in Atlanta.
Medea dude.
Tyler Perry.
That's good.
Oprah gave us Medea.
It was bad at first, but then it was a little bit.
I've been Team Tyler since the beginning.
I'm Team Titty Perry.
Don't get me twisted.
Don't get that shit twisted.
I'm Titty Perry for life.
That's what I'm saying.
That's a good contribution.
That's Oprah?
Yeah.
Why is that Oprah?
He got?
I think she helped get Obama and all that.
Like, help him start his platform.
Like, to keep it all.
She'd be helping.
Everybody says.
Did he bring on the show?
I'm talking about people she brought on the show.
Who's the fat cook, bitch?
Rachel Ray.
Big fucking deal, yo.
She don't slap like Martha Stewart.
Meal slaps.
Martha Stewart.
I got some money a big wear at home, though.
Okay, this is actually really fun.
That's great.
Okay.
Top five whites in American history.
Top five whites in American history.
Tiger Woods.
Living or dead.
Living whites.
Top five.
Top five living whites.
OJ.
Okay.
Number five, Adam Silver.
Adam Silver.
Oh, God.
He's the top five white guy.
No.
He's not a top five white guy.
China shit.
I didn't put him up before two weeks ago.
Two weeks?
Jeez.
All right.
Before this channel.
Check Adam Silver.
He had a case.
Okay.
Justin Bieber.
Oh, Beeves, yo.
Beeves.
Something the Beeves.
There it is.
Hey.
Hey.
Top five white guys.
Jimmy Ivine.
I'll put Jimmy Ivine in there.
Top five white dudes.
Jimmy Ivine, all right.
Scooter Brawn.
Cool guy.
Fuck with him.
Hey.
Hey, sexy can hit it from the front and hit it for the back and you get it like that.
Jams, man.
Come on, man.
Like, go.
Ray J is flowers, man.
Oh, what a legend.
Vince Staples never told a lie in his life, bro.
What did he say?
He has a legendary rant on Hot 97 when he was with Tyler Creator.
And Tyler was like, yo, tell him why Ray Jay is the greatest living human.
Alice, can you pull it up?
Let me tell you something about Vince Staples.
This guy is hilarious.
And I never hear a song of his.
No, me neither.
Yeah, he has a future.
He's got the gift of gab, bro.
He's hilarious.
Even though his shows, like, he is a tour.
I like his albums.
His tour is crazy.
Yeah.
He's one of those silent SoundCloud guys who tours fucking crazy.
Vince Staples not one of those guys that like even though he's on a phone for you and you're like, oh man, I got to hear everything.
Like you got to hear everything in a vacuum, like from beginning to end.
If you just play one song, it's like, I don't get it.
Most of the shit.
He liked the wire.
You just got to watch the whole shit.
Like, if you just see a random episode of the wire.
I can't wait till he gets a podcast because that shit is going to blow.
Bro, I tried to pitch him a podcast years ago.
Let's get him off.
Nah, but I heard him saying like he wants a mill to sign off rip.
That's basically what it was.
And I get it.
I'm signing bonus.
I get it.
To do a podcast.
Tell him to be a guest on this shit.
I totally get it, bro.
He knows what his worth, man.
You have his link?
A while ago, yeah.
Yeah.
He did that when I was running Stash.
He did a couple interviews with us and it was fucking hilarious.
Did some pretty good movies.
Okay, top five white guys.
Boom.
Bill Clinton, number four.
Ooh, okay.
Bill Clinton's in there.
Damn.
Prolific rape.
Prolific.
I just immediately agreed and I saw myself.
I was like, oh, man.
That's not it.
Can we talk about something?
Let's say, hypothetically speaking, he did rape all those women that accuse him, right?
Little kids, too.
Let's just say the women.
Let's not say the kids.
So it can be.
That's too much.
Walk on that lad.
So let's say hypothetically he didn't.
Do you know how fucking arrogant you got to be?
No.
To like rape three women and then be like, I think I could be president.
That's crazy.
That's so crazy.
This is next level confidence.
That's so fucking crazy.
What the fuck?
Look at our current president.
That's what he got in the playbook from.
President Confidence Levels00:10:30
Yo, bro.
I don't think Trump raped anybody.
He definitely grabbed a few titties.
You've been a doucee Palooza.
You know what I'm saying?
No, no.
That does not happen.
No, no.
I'm just saying.
That's a habit.
The reason I don't think Trump grabs, I don't think Trump raped is because he's so egregious about the other shit.
I mean, he's so.
He's smart.
He knows what not to say.
Nah, but he's out here like slapping girls' butts and shit like that.
She's fine.
This girl's a pig.
Like, you don't talk like that if you also rape.
Like, Cosby was out there, Mr. Goody Tush raping.
It's a different type of rape, though.
His rape is...
Here we go.
Defend Cosby.
I'm not defending Cosby at all.
I'm saying his rape is way fucking worse because he's the fucking slip something in your drink, put you over your shoulder.
Guys, this is not Patriot.
I just wanted to remind you guys.
Let's table some of this.
In case you guys forgot to table some of this.
Let's table some of this.
This is about to go somewhere.
Hey, keep my Oprah shit in, though.
Leave that Oprah in.
We got two white guys on my top five.
All right.
All right.
Michael McDonald, number three.
Are we still doing the top five whites?
Yeah, I'm thinking forgetting.
Pete forgetting.
You putting them top five because of one track.
One track.
He sounds like a black guy.
For 20 years of my life, I thought he was black.
I thought he was black my whole life.
I don't know who he is.
I know Michael McDonald's.
I know who he is.
I don't know any of his songs.
You only, you only know this song.
We're just doing top three whites.
Alex, flagrant though of the week, go.
Well, I was flushing that one out, but whatever.
I'll throw it out there.
So dating someone on a temporary visa is like going to the strip club.
Because when you go to the strip club, you can be like the whackest dude, but you have some badass bitch who's like catering to you and making you feel wanted and all that type of shit.
Because she wants something out of you.
So she wants something out of you.
That's what you get out of a refugee base.
Yeah.
So like a girl.
No, this temporary visa.
It's not even a refugee.
Temporary visa.
Meaning she got to go back home.
She's on the clock.
Yeah.
So it goes from hello to like, yo, let's move in together.
Like week two.
Yeah.
So, yeah, yeah.
You want to be saved.
That's why I was saying Alex is kind of like dating a girl with terminal cancer.
Wow.
Because, no, because thinking about, because like she, her visa is for three months.
Right?
Right?
Like, that's what you got.
So you're dead, unless there's a magical cure.
Yo, she's out here praying for a miracle.
You're playing for a miracle.
You know what I mean?
But like, literally, you can act however you want in that.
Like, what are you going to break up with me for the next month?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I used to love those relationships that I knew were coming to end because I didn't have to break up.
This is the best thing about when I lived in Spain.
That makes sense.
I got that shit.
Like, the world does it for you.
That makes sense.
And you approach that date and they start saying, well, maybe we should continue this.
And you'd be like, yeah, And back in the day, there was no FaceTime, nothing.
It was like you had to hit the same button three times to get to the K. You know what I mean?
So you weren't even texting that much.
So it was just like when they were gone, you're gone.
Yeah.
It's like you didn't even have to ghost.
Like the government did it for you.
The government did it for you, bro.
Fucking Pager.
Remember Pagers?
Pagers.
What a dead.
They don't know.
They wasn't outside.
They don't know them days.
We had to go find fucking public phones that Kraken just peed on.
Ken looks so African to me right now.
I can't explain it.
I think it's the posture.
You sitting up at Ministrator.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're looking mad Nigerian right now.
I don't know.
I ran into somebody at, God, I was in Macy's the other day.
I ran to a fucking jacket.
I was buying a jacket.
And somebody was like, he was working there.
I was like, yo, do you know where the fucking jackets are?
He's like, yeah, he's like, wait, you're the guy in the Andrew Schultz podcast, right?
Like, you sit in the back.
I'm like, fuck.
All right.
I got to sit up.
Let me start sitting with better postures.
And I watched some of the tapes.
I'm like, I'm always kind of lean back.
So that's, that's, that explains the.
Guys.
Sorry, guys.
Don't worry about it.
Listen, that was a little bit of flagrancy.
We need to get.
We have some very important things to discuss.
I got a couple takes that I want to share with you.
I went out, Akasha and I went to some kind of alternative venue comedy shows on Friday and Saturday.
Bomb my ass off.
That's what's up.
So, but I like to sweet round.
I like to talk about the state of comedy in that regard.
Also, Alex is flagrant.
Breaking news, in out six to eight weeks.
With fucked up knee.
They're not taking any chances.
That's all that is.
Motherfucker, too fat.
Yeah.
He loses weight.
He got to lose weight, dude.
He does not look good.
Yeah.
It's Derek Rose, man.
That's a lot of, and to be that explosive, that's a lot of weight on your knees and a lot of impact on your knees.
He jumps a fucking lot, bro.
Yeah.
That's all.
When I see him, I think of Derek Rose because, like, prime Derek Rose, the way he fucking was so herky jerky and like he was like too athletic for his body when it's like, yo, your body's not supposed to move like that.
Right.
The way you land and all that type of shit.
This is three knee injuries in a year.
That's not that's not, they're not, they're not taking any chances.
But 19, you're going to come back quick.
But look, before we go into this next stuff, I just want to throw out some dates, man.
Palm Beach improv this Saturday.
First show sold out.
We added a second show.
Get those tickets now.
Get them early.
Then we got the West Coast next week.
We'll be at Chico, California, the first, the second, and the third, Sacramento.
I think there might be a couple tickets left for the late show on the third.
Then we're coming back to the East Coast.
We got the 14th, Connecticut, Wall Street Theater.
Then we got the 16th, Boston, the Wilbert Theater.
First show sold out.
More tickets left for the second show.
And then the 22nd, New York City, Town Hall, two shows.
First one sold out.
Second one almost.
So get this.
I don't want to hear any bitching.
We're not adding no more shows.
That's it.
This is your chance for the Matador tour.
New York is happening one time in New York.
You come get those real quick.
And then we added more shows.
DandrewSchultz.com.
Go get them shits.
Akash, what you got?
Yo, the rest of the dates for this year for the Big Disse Energy Tour.
First of all, shouts to, I forgot to shout out E.J. Watson in Detroit.
He's the one that got me up there.
It was his birthday.
Okay, he's a comic.
He's about the flagrancy.
I'm supposed to shout out his podcast, but I forgot the name.
So I'll do that next week.
But dates that are coming up.
San Diego, November 7th through the 9th at the American Comedy Club.
Then the next day, I'm in Tempe, Arizona at the improv, November 10th.
Then November 14th, I'm at the Hartford Funnybone in Connecticut.
And then December 19th, 20th, and 21st, Big Dacey Energy homecoming.
I'm going to Mumbai.
Oh, what are you doing out there?
Habitat Comedy Club.
Friend of ours setting us up.
We're going to do this shit.
How'd you organize that?
So I went 6-7, I went in March, and we did some shows there, me and the Brownish guys.
And then Dushar and I are going back.
And so we got in contact with the club.
Last time the shows went well, YouTube is going well.
So they said, come back, come through headline.
Douchar is going to feature.
And he's going to replace Donish because Pakistani ass ain't allowed in the country.
Pakistanis aren't allowed in it.
No, straight up.
He can't come.
God damn.
He ain't allowed.
It's not even like, I won't let him.
It's like India's like, nah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Just because he's of Pakistani heritage or whatever?
Yeah, like that's his, that's his nationality.
Do they really get upset that we, if we call them Paki, Pakis or whatever?
Pockies?
I assume it's contextual.
Because in England, that's used in like, that's their slur.
Yeah, but it's just, I don't understand it.
Like, it's the same shit as Tranny, right?
It's like.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
I assume it's contextual.
It's like these fucking packies.
It's like, all right, it's the fucking problem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, if you're like, I love Pocky food, man.
Pocky food is the best.
I don't understand that, man.
I don't think that.
But do they take it contextually or do they get upset?
Depends probably who you're talking to.
Whatever.
Anyway, Cass.
Yes, sir.
Let me pull this up.
November 2nd, 2019, Atlanta Douce Palooza is coming through the masquerade.
Oh, man.
Shit, we got a whole gay Duce Palooza.
That's what we're doing.
Duce Palooza for everybody, baby.
Bring all your gays over here.
I fucking love it.
Oh, some Douce into those dudes' mouths.
I need to see that one right there.
That's going to be serious.
I shall not be doing that.
November 18th.
You wouldn't shoot it into a guy's mouth?
I give it to a girl and do it.
Like, Ray does that.
Like, shout out to Ray V. Let me shoot a smile.
I'll give her the gun.
Oh, she'll shoot the dudes.
You would never shoot the dude.
Nah.
Why not?
It's not that type of party.
Sorry, it's Atlanta.
It's that type of party.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, Los Angeles.
November 18th, 2019, we're taking over the palladium, Duce Palooza again.
And don't forget, December 13, 2019, we're making history in Brooklyn, New York.
Can't wait to announce that.
Also, this week I'm debuting a brand new show called Big Apple Buckets with the New York Post.
I'll be doing a New York Knicks-centered podcast with the guys of the New York Post.
Straight Knicks talk all day for 30 minutes.
The first guest, Walt Claude Frazier, two-time NBA champion, and Mark Berman of the Post, the Knicks Beat Rider.
I know you guys, I'm a huge, huge Knicks fan.
This means a whole lot to me.
So once the link is out there, please support it.
Please share it.
Whatever you got to do.
I cannot think of a more depressing podcast.
Well, listen, I'm going to keep it 100, though.
This year?
Specifically, that's what's going to make it so much fun.
You're not going to keep it 100 because you're already delusional about the Knicks.
Exactly.
So you're keeping it 100.
So everybody else is, what the fuck is this guy talking about?
No, bro.
It's preseason.
You're allowed to be delusional up until like tomorrow.
Like, you have it up until season upseason.
Obviously, we're going to support, man.
Yes, sir.
So check that shit out.
And support all this shit, man.
Cause and effect, fucking, you know, Duce Palooza, fucking everything, man.
Everything.
Good things are happening for the gang all around.
Yes, sir.
We're doing it.
We're doing it.
Comedy Room Concerns00:15:07
Okay, so I went out to these shows.
There are some very actually, there are some cool shows.
My girl Fawn runs a show.
It's like a secret show.
It's quite interesting.
I couldn't believe anybody showed up, but they just email you that day and let you know where the show is going to be.
They don't even tell you the lineup.
I think they're just like, show up and it's going to be a show.
It's called Don't Tell Comedy.
And this one was on like the what was it?
The 50th floor of some building.
You were there?
I know Rockefeller Center.
It was like basically Rockefeller Center.
It was like on like 50th floor.
And son, it felt like Spider-Man.
It was on the roof.
You could go outside and there were all the buildings around.
You know, like you see Spider-Man shooting at things and then like flying.
But like, there's, it's very rare that in your life are you on a balcony that high where you would Spider-Man.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Because when are you ever outside on the 30th floor?
Yeah.
And when you are, when are you around other buildings that are higher than that by many stories?
It's hard to Spider-Man.
Yeah.
In other words, right?
But like it was cool.
I went up.
I did the set.
And, you know, I fucked around, but I did a few jokes.
But it was interesting.
I felt like a little, you know, pullback from the audience.
And it was one of these things where it's like, yeah, it was one of these things where it's like, oh, it's interesting.
There are certain things they're just not allowing themselves to laugh at.
And then I was like, you know, maybe it's just this show.
It is what it is.
And then Saturday we went to another show hosted by Ronnie Lord.
It's in this barbershop.
It's a great idea.
I don't know, Ronnie.
And it's called Barbershop Comedy Show or something like that.
It's really cool.
They actually convert this barbershop into a show.
I mean, it's just a great idea.
Super intimate.
It's on like 2nd Street in East Village.
And bomb my ass off again in that one.
And wait, you say a little pullback in the first one.
Was it a bomb?
Was it an L?
Or was it like, yeah, it was.
I like how you call it.
A little pullback, audible groan.
There's a lady in the back layer.
So here's the thing: anything if I'm not killing, I consider a bomb.
Right.
Right.
So, like, it's, I, I, I never like, I'm never like, oh, that was okay.
Okay.
It's either kill or bomb.
Right.
So, but when I can look at a crowd and I can be like, these people acknowledge that these jokes are funny.
Right.
I don't need a crowd to tell me the jokes are funny.
I know the jokes are funny.
Yeah.
Fact.
Right now, it's about whether they'll allow themselves to laugh at an idea.
Right.
And I went in.
I'd been doing the clubs and I'd be doing our like, you know, live shows and tour.
So like, I really thought that we won the war on comedy.
I thought it was done.
Like, I mean, when I'm Rogan, I was like, no, it's over.
Like, we, we beat them.
People want real comedy now.
You know what I mean?
Like, and I, and I didn't do the alternative rooms.
And this was the first time in a while where I was like, oh, shit.
There are people that refuse to laugh unless the jokes are politically aligned with their beliefs.
Yeah.
Regardless of how funny the jokes are.
And I did a little experiment when I was at the barbershop show.
Like I really leaned into like the stuff I do is always goes against whatever we're supposed to think, right?
Like that's the fun for me in comedy.
It's easy.
Making shit funny is easy for me.
The challenge is making the shit funny that you're not supposed to.
Right.
I need to, that's the exciting thing.
That's the stakes are high.
That is like, let's, let's try to do this at the highest level.
You know, so it's like, I did a bunch of jokes.
I don't want to give them away because I'll do them part of the tour, but I did a bunch of jokes that were not at all like liberally politically aligned, like making the opposite argument, fucked up shit.
And then I have one, this part of a bit I want to give it away, but that does align politically with their beliefs.
I was like, I'm going to give this one to them right now and see how they react.
Applause break.
Laughing, support.
And I'm like, you're not clapping because of how funny this joke is, even though it's a funny joke.
You're clapping because you agree with the joke.
And then I did another joke that has two different things in it, where one group, a minority group, is made fun of at first.
And then later, whites are made fun of.
When I'm making fun of the minority, they couldn't laugh.
The second the joke transgresses white people, immediately laughing.
And I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh my God, I thought we were past this.
I thought we had beaten this down.
I thought these people didn't exist because I've been in the comedy clubs and I've been on tour, but there are still people that refuse to laugh unless it goes along with their political beliefs.
I remember you created like this kind of like, not a bubble, but you've created this.
You've been instrumental in creating this space where you don't need to appease those people.
No, 100%, right?
But it's one of those things where like it came back and I, and two things happened.
I also thought everybody was starting to do this type of comedy now, right?
Nope.
And in that moment, I started to realize, oh, shit, this is why I have this like appreciation from people.
I never really got that.
You know, like people hit me up from YouTube or Instagram and you say, yo, thank you for doing what you're doing.
I'm like, bro, I'm just having fun doing comedy.
This is the type of comedy I love.
But they see that.
Right.
And they're like, I miss the old comic.
Now, I'm not knocking any of the comics in on the show because I didn't see them go on the show, right?
They could have been doing the exact same shit as me.
I can't say.
And I love the fact that they're doing these different shows.
I went there specifically for dropping in so I should give them some exposure.
I feel like I want to help out New York comedy scene and there should be different venues for all different types of comedy.
Like I want to help out as much as I can.
But I did have a concern.
And akash, we had discussed this before.
And the concern is there are all these young comics that are coming up in this scene.
And how can you develop an authentic voice when your audience is fraudulent?
That's borrows.
I don't think you truly can't.
Like you and I did comedy in a basement to tourists in a dungeon, right?
That we did not care about what those tourists thought.
I would specifically avoid that place.
But here's the thing.
We didn't care what the tourists thought.
So it'd be cool if we bombed.
But also, they were tourists.
They didn't have to see anybody else again.
They didn't have a social cost to laughing at a joke.
Right?
They were going back to fucking Ohio or Sweden or wherever they're from.
Right.
So they could laugh at a little more fucked up shit because they're like, I don't care if these people judge me.
But these people that are going to these shows, that's maybe part of the neighborhood.
They're going to see.
And then you look at somebody like, yo, did you laugh at that abortion joke?
What the hell is wrong with this guy?
Look at him laughing.
Right?
So it is a concern of mine for comedy moving forward because at the end of the day, we're not going to keep doing comedy if we're bombing.
At the end of the day, we want to get laughs.
We're comics.
We are insecure.
We want to be validated by our audience.
But so we will gravitate towards what works.
It takes a strong constitution to stick to your guns when you're not doing well.
Right?
And I fear that if their comics are going up in front of too many audiences that are only laughing at shit they're politically aligned with, that they'll start doing jokes that will end up getting those laughs and they won't develop an authentic comedic voice unless that is their comedic voice.
And it's like, it makes me a little concerned for comedy as it moves forward.
I'm not trying to dismiss what you're saying.
I know I can sound dismissive sometimes.
My fiancé tells me that shit all the time.
But I'll say two things.
Number one, I don't think you ever stamp out this kind of comedy.
It's not like it's a thing that goes like in the same way that you talk about how entertainment is so fragmented now and like everybody just kind of has their group in their audience.
That's what comedy is going to become.
There's going to be this group of people that goes to that thing and this group of people that goes for the flagrancy and this group of people that wants PC.
And here's the other thing I would say.
If you aren't, the cream will always rise to the top.
Yes.
I guess what it's important to note, though, this isn't the same as it's not like a basketball course where you just get to decide where you play.
Fair.
And if you want to have like a soft game, you go to the YMCA.
You want to have a tough game, you play outside and Canarsie.
I know when I was coming up, we kind of romanticized these stories, though, about like Bill Burr, who would go do the hood rooms and bomb for a long time before he finally figured it out.
You hear about these guys.
I've talked openly about how I bomb.
When we first met, I was bombing for a good year and a half straight.
Right.
Constant L's.
Right.
The ones who want to be great are like, all right, well, that's the cost.
That's fine.
I want that shit.
I want that top tier shit.
So I'll eat that cost.
Right.
But there is a difference because you didn't really have that experience.
You got to come in and you got to perform in the lantern and these types of venues, right?
To balance out the shitty ones.
What I'm saying is, is there people that on the come up of comedy, you can't just walk into the comedy cellar or New York Comedy Club and go, I'd like to go on.
You have to perform at these other things first.
And in order to get from there to the clubs, you have to succeed at there.
Before you could get past the clubs, you had to be able to do well at The Lantern, which was nice because we created our type of comedy there.
But you also had to do well in these other rooms.
Yeah, I still think, I mean, I would bomb at the Lantern when I first got there for a moment.
Sure, we all did.
I'm not saying you did.
My point is, like, this is a necessary step in getting your footing in a New York comedy scene.
And if you're just like it's always been like Knitting Factory was for a lot of new comics, they'd come and they do Knitting Factory and they do well at Knitting Factory, and then they'd get these other different places, right?
Doing well in rooms gets you more rooms.
Yeah, yeah.
If you choose to bomb to stick to your comedic laurels, you're not going to get booked on the other shit.
And if you don't get booked on the other shit, it's going to take you way longer to get to the clubs where you can actually do your shit.
So there's this weird catch-22.
It's like, okay, should I do the stuff that's not really authentic to me so I can get to the other stuff so I can eventually do me?
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, I do think this sounds weird, but your perception is a bit skewed because you got funny really fucking fast.
So you were also always able to do the flagrant shit and get laughs.
And then there were audiences even back then where they were like, you know, whatever.
I'm not going to name clubs.
I remember you telling me one show, you're like, oh, I went, there was like the hot club, the hot little room, and you're like, oh, I just bombed my ass off.
Right.
Because that was that group of people.
That group of people existed then, just like it exists now.
It might be a little more pervasive now, but not as much as you think, I don't think.
We caught it on the come up.
Now it's, I think, on the come down.
I would like to just point in.
So you're saying that you can't find your authentic voice in rooms like that.
And I would actually say the opposite.
So the PC people will find their authentic voice because they're going to perform well in front of there.
And then when they go to a room that wants like more gritty comedy, they're not going to perform well.
And now you get to learn a good crowd from a bad crowd.
Because you know how you can go in and assess the crowd.
And like you can even pick apart the crowd and see like, oh, yeah, they feel uncomfortable to laugh at this shit.
So it's like, that makes you a better comic.
Because now it's like, oh, I see the difference in terms of the people I perform in.
Right, right.
I'm still performing my same comedy in front of both different groups.
And I know what works to my group.
So you can still find your voice in front of those crowds, even if you do that.
No.
No?
No, no, you.
I don't necessarily.
No, no, you can't.
You can't.
Because you can only find your voice in front of them if your voice is consistent with them.
Because no comic, I don't care how good they are.
And again, we do romanticize those things, but no comic, I don't care how good they are.
We'll tell the same jokes for a year and continue bombing with them.
Yeah, but you're saying they only go to that room.
Remember, they're trying to get on stage everywhere.
So they're doing different rooms.
Right, right.
So my assumption is that there are a lot of rooms that are filled with those types of audience.
Yeah, you don't think there's going to be any diversity?
Like, there's not going to be any rooms that have to, to use a term I used earlier, stamp out.
Like, if you're a super woke crowd, the guy, it takes a lot of confidence to be the audience member laughing at a horrible joke in a super woke crowd.
No, no, no, I get that.
But I mean, you don't think there are any rooms that don't have woke crowds?
There's not as many rooms.
There are different scenes.
Like, for example, like Akash and I were saying we would go to the black rooms.
Yeah.
Never did I feel like I couldn't tell a certain type of joke in those rooms, right?
I felt like I could be as flagrant as I wanted.
When I would go to the to the woke rooms or what we would call like the alt rooms, the hipster rooms, I would have to be, well, I mean, I wouldn't change what I did, but I would go in there with the idea, like, they're not going to get on board with this.
This joke is critical of women.
This joke is critical of a minority group.
They won't feel comfortable doing it.
Now, if I was being critical of myself or like white people in general, yes, they would.
And I feel like most comics have a desire to be validated, and that will overrule their desire to do an authentic pit.
That's my concern.
I got you.
You see what I'm saying?
No, no, I 100% feel your concern.
There's different levels of this, Akash.
Like, obviously, I'm not saying this is the end-all be, though.
There will be no more comedy.
No, no, no.
But I feel like young comics coming up, I would really implore them, go to an open mic in Long Island.
Like, try a lot of them.
Go to places where if you are flagrant, go to places where the flagrancy can go out to Staten Island where you know they're not going to be upset about some joke.
If you stay in there, if you are one of the flagrancy, because if you stay in that scene, that need for validation that we all have in us is going to come over you.
Maybe I'm a sociopath.
Maybe I. You beat me.
He beep me too.
And that's fair.
And that's fair.
But that's not going to be everybody.
Like, maybe I don't mind having that.
Like, I also will be in front of those crowds and I'll look at them.
And if I could tell that you are trying to not laugh.
Ooh, you target them.
Yeah.
You got it.
You got to shame them.
Oh, not even shame.
Like, if I could tell you're trying to not laugh, I'm like, oh, that's good.
Oh, okay.
Right?
Because I'm not going to these rooms.
There's a lot of different tonight.
I'll call that out.
I'll be like, laughing is easy.
Try not to laugh is fucking hard.
So that's a good perspective.
Because I'll be like, you realize you're just hurting yourself, right?
Like, I'll talk to them.
But I think what I would do back then, and I still probably do it, is I would think, okay, I don't want to sacrifice my idea.
How do I get other audiences to laugh at this idea, make it palatable?
We used to always use that term, make it palatable, make it palatable.
That's the most I would do at a certain point.
This shit is art.
If you're an artist about your type of comedy, it's like, okay, I will not sacrifice this at a certain point.
Trying Not To Laugh Hard00:10:52
I agree with you completely.
And I think that what we would do is, and we would always talk about is make it silly.
The premise can be serious, but punch it silly.
And there was a time, I think, where we came up where the premises might have been a little tough.
Yeah.
You know, like, but if you, as long as you made the punchy part silly, it was okay.
And I think the growth of PC culture has kind of invaded the space of silly, even.
Well, actually, you said that to me recently, and that shifted.
That was like a big shift for me.
It's like, oh, fuck, silly.
That's a fun way to make it palatable without trying to fuck with your message or whatever you're trying to say.
That was actually a big thing that recently I was like, oh, shit, silly.
You just find your version of it.
Anytime I'm not, the joke isn't going over, it's like, oh, it's not silly.
Yeah.
It's not silly enough.
And once it's silly, you find a way to get there.
You know what I mean?
But it just, it was so fascinating to watch adults to like watch adults fight for like an idea in a place of comedy.
It was just so odd.
It's also so funny to see them be offended in the most expensive cities in the world.
Oh, dude, dude.
And like, so easy to like trigger.
Like, I would do this back in the day because there was a joke of mine that I had.
Some of you guys might be familiar with, but about the Mexians stealing the jobs.
And I was like, how do you steal a job?
I've never seen a Mexican walk into the restaurant and go, give me the dishes, right?
And like, that was the joke I would do to test an audience that I was bombing in front of.
So if I was bombing and then I did that joke and they laughed, I would go, oh, you just want jokes you agree with.
Okay.
Because to me, it was a good joke, but it was also like a liberal-leaning perspective.
100%.
And it's just fascinating to me that people could go out for a night of agreeing.
Right?
Like, isn't that odd?
I mean, I guess it's just safe.
It's safe to not laugh at that shit, man.
And to be honest, we're at a time where it is not that easy to just go out and just have a good time without being offended by something.
You know what I'm saying?
So.
It's just a lack of self-awareness that New York is this worldly city and the whole world is in New York.
No, the richest people in the whole world are in New York.
Like the richest Indians or Nigerians or whatever.
The smartest, most successful ones are in New York.
This is not a global place.
This is a global elite city.
It's not a global city.
Very true.
Very true.
Oh, man.
I want to say something, but I think I'm going to turn it into a bit.
But it's, it's, yeah, that's a great way of putting.
We're fucking spoiled, dude.
And there's a.
I always wonder, like, if I wasn't born here, how different life would be.
Different.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if I wasn't born, like, Akash, I know you weren't born here, but Andrew, you were.
Alex, you were born here as well.
It's like, I'm just spoiled by just seeing everybody.
Bro, we're so wildly spoiled.
Yeah.
It's not even funny, dude.
Yeah.
I wish I could.
I don't want to ruin this because I want to do it as part of this bit.
But like, we are so whatever.
Let's move on because I'm going to want to do it.
But yeah, It was just an interesting thing.
And then the other observation that I made was, I think that this is, we are living in the easiest time in history to have a successful restaurant.
Really?
I feel like those are easy money losers.
I have a theory.
Yes, I have a theory.
This is the thing about restaurants.
This I realize.
Is quality food is still the rarest thing in the world.
And it is so rare.
That if you have it, we will find it.
And that's why celeb endorsed restaurants never work.
Like Michael Jordan's Steakhouse.
Like, I don't give a fuck if Michael Jordan.
Is the steak good?
Like, I'll wear the sneakers that Kobe wears.
Yeah.
Because they're the same as all the other sneakers, really.
I just like Kobe.
And it's Kobe endorsing the shit he's good at.
Boom.
What the fuck does Michael Jordan know about steak?
What the fuck do you know about steak?
Literally, what could you possibly?
That's my favorite Kanye West clip of all time.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What does Lady Gaga know about steak?
I love the Gaga songs.
What the fuck does she know about cameras?
So I'm sitting down and I'm thinking about this fucking restaurant shit and I'm like, but now if your food is actually good, which is hard, now we have all these other means of communication to spread word of mouth.
Yelp.
Right?
Yelp.
Pool reviews.
All that shit.
Oh, yeah.
And now that we have...
And then Yelp is a little skewed.
Because you got to be a certain type of person.
And there's, oh, shit, on top of that, there's all these blogs and everybody that's got to churn out content.
If you have a restaurant that's remotely hot or a piece of food that's remotely hot, if people are lining up at all, they'll write about it and then the line triples.
So now check this, right?
Like you said, piece of food that's remotely hot.
Cronut.
Cronut.
Yeah, make it Instagram.
Back it up from Cronut, right?
I thought about what I would do if I was like big farm America, like, you know, these big farming conglomerates, right?
I go to one of these or a group of these elite chefs, you know, the ones that have a bunch of restaurants, and I go, fam, make a dish with Brussels Sprouts.
Because when we were growing up, Brussels Sprouts were trash, right?
Brussels Sprouts came to fucking the hot sprouts.
And Buffalo Color Frowd.
It's having a hot summer.
Son.
Oh, Brussels Sprouts is popping.
It's popping, right?
Yo, tell me if you're one of these big farm corporations.
You don't go, yo, listen, we will give you all the free produce you need, free, for all your restaurants.
Just make a dish with Brussels Sprouts.
Because in six months, every fucking TGI Fridays, all this shit.
Isn't that the way you game the system now?
Yeah.
It's like influencers, like social media influencers, but restaurant influencers.
With chefs.
Yeah.
Because they can make anything good.
I've been to these fancy restaurants.
They take a fucking turnip and make it good.
The only reason why we thought Brussels sprouts were whack is because like fucking the influencers of our time told us it was whack.
It was every TV show or cartoon.
Every fucking Brussels or Brussels Sprouts.
I'm like, oh, God.
And like, I never even ate it.
I just assumed Brussels sprouts are trash.
And I grew up and I was like, bro, this shit roasted the right ways.
Nice seasoning, hot sauce.
They're amazing.
I think a version of that is happening.
Maybe not from like big farms, but like every year there's the new craze.
It's the kale.
It's the.
So tell me if you're, oh, there's a woman supposedly called the queen of kale.
And she was the one that got kale popping.
Really?
And I'm like, I think you can manifest these crazes.
And I think if you had enough farmland where it was worth it to you to increase the amount of the nut that you sold.
It doesn't have to be leaf.
It could be, yo, almonds aren't popping.
What are we doing with almonds?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, how do we get into the food culture where you start going, oh man, I need to have those honey-glazed almonds or whatever it is.
I just think it fizzles out quick, though.
Like in the food, it's like, oh, we're on to the next thing.
Because kale came and went.
Then it was pumpkin everything.
No, because you know what happened?
It's like oat milk, everything.
Then it was turmeric, everything.
It was avocado, everything.
Like it comes, fizzles.
And then it's like, yeah, some people stick around, but then everybody's like, oh, you still on that shit?
It's like the iPhone.
So it's quick money.
So, it's not something you want to manifest because, like, you want to be in business with Brussels Sprouts forever.
Yeah.
But at least you would know how to plan for it.
True.
Like, if there's stocks in that shit, it's like, oh, you just see what the basic white bitch girl is eating right now.
It's like, oh, that's it.
Put your money in that.
Real talk.
Maybe that's the way.
So you find the pipeline of that shit.
That's what I would do.
Basic white bitch.
We got to find, we got to get a popping vegetable.
Son, and give it to that guy, Dan.
Flagrant vegetable, bro.
Yo, we got to pick one.
Squash or some shit.
Something.
And then give it to the guy, Dan.
Pumpernickel.
What's pumpernickel?
Is that good?
That's not a vegetable, son.
It's not.
It's black ass bread, bro.
I was like, oh, shit, I didn't even know that was a vegetable.
It sounded like a vegetable.
Fuck, yeah.
Let's get a fucking vegetable popping.
That shit.
The talk of the tiny beats showing up.
Yo, beets?
Yo.
Beats could easily beat beats by flagrancy.
Beats by flagrant, too, bro.
Get them shits.
Oh, I just want to confirm that this Saturday when we were out, the sleeper cells at all the Chinatowns in America, that is a true thing.
It was confirmed by a Chinese man during Andrew's set.
That shit is happening.
Be afraid.
I asked a Chinese couple in the front row.
Yep.
I said, yo, if it goes down between America and China, whose side are you on?
No hesitation.
No hesitation.
This motherfucker said China.
In a room full of Americans proudly said China.
Yeah, but it's a mobile crowd.
Of course, you're going to say that shit.
Say what?
No, no, this was at this at a comedy club.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
And then it's kind of accidentally like, oh, I've heard about has this theory that all the Chinatowns and cities are sleeper cells or whatever the case is.
And I go, is that the case?
And then he's just mad quiet.
And I was like, what?
All right.
Y'all keep playing.
Next time I get a Chinese girl, I'll be broke.
Yo, all I'm saying is.
Maybe they were right about them tournament camps back in the day.
Yo, chill out.
Don't chill out.
It's the same principle, son.
Yeah, but that's why, yo, people like you were the ones that made them.
You know what I mean?
You don't think that there was a white dude back in California, like, yo, maybe we should round up these Japanese, bro.
I think they got sleeper cells.
We're in a Japan town.
Say what?
Ain't no Japan towns.
There was probably some Japanese.
You know how scared white people must have been?
They're not even cooking the fish.
They're like, yo, something's off with these motherfuckers.
They just eating the fish right out the water.
You don't think that's going to scare a nice country white person in the 90s and cooking his food for his entire life?
Japanese people just biting fish right out the fucking pond like a merman.
Yo, they thinking they're mermaids, the Japanese, bro.
No?
Nah, bro.
Not at all.
I can see it.
I can see it.
Mermaid don't eat fish.
Aren't they like chicken wings, bro?
People.
But what the fuck, mermaids is.
What the fuck mermaids eat?
They eat jollof?
They're like fish.
They're like one with the people.
Like they speak to the fish.
They're like, they don't eat the fish.
Bigger fish eat the little fish, bro.
Nah, those are like a fish.
Yo, son.
Fish eat fish.
That's how good fish are.
Fish is delicious.
Yo, fish is so good.
Even fish eat them.
Son, if you talk to a fish about fish, I think I had that joke here a while ago, right?
Mermaid Diet Confusion00:06:22
About like.
If he asked cats, what he eats, he wouldn't be like, Akash.
Yeah, I mean, no, but I had that bit where it's like, we don't eat midgets, right?
But like, they do.
Valid.
That is valid.
I would eat Akasha if he was shut him off.
Wow.
I mean, he looks like, I mean, bro.
Hey, bro, you can get it.
Out of everybody in here, he looks like he has the most flavor.
He looks delectable.
He looks glad, bro.
He's nice and blind and shit.
I'm going to be glad, son.
He marinating.
He's been marinating on the car, son.
Alex, you're too like you too much seasoning.
That's like fucking heart palpitations and shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Akash, perfect amount of spice.
Tastiness.
Throw that man on a fucking Foreman grill.
Foreman grow.
Guys, let me tell you this.
Yeah.
A game is 10 times more exciting when you're putting money on it.
That's a fact.
Where you've been putting money down for years or you're ready to play for the first time.
My bookie is your best bet this season.
I'm going to tell you why.
Hell yeah.
There's a bunch of other things to say, but this is the reason.
They're matching your initial investment up to $1,000.
That's the reason.
That's crazy.
Yes, you could do parlays, Akash, you know, where you bet on a bunch of games and increase the amount that you could win.
But you don't even have to worry about that because they're matching your money.
I cannot tell you this more than this one way.
You're getting free money to gamble with.
You put some money in, they match it.
It's as simple as that.
Free money to gamble with.
You go to mybookie.ag, you get that free money to gamble with because nobody is going to give you more ways to win than them.
You can bet on the first half of the game, but on the second half of the game.
You lose on the first, you make it up on the second.
Simple as that.
You got pro football, college football, major league baseball, both hockey and basketball around the corner.
Now it's time to get in the action, okay?
You want to support your team this season?
Don't just sit on the sidelines.
You go to mybookie.ag.
You join right now, my bookie's going to double that deposit.
You just got to use the code Flagrant.
MyBookie.ag, use the code Flagrant.
Go there.
You play.
You win.
You get paid.
Real talk.
There's only one way to make baseball exciting.
Exactly.
Gamble.
Gamble on that shit.
That's the only way.
Yeah.
You a Yankees fan?
I don't really give a fuck, but you know what I mean?
Gamble on the one side.
I watched them games.
They out.
Yeah, they out, bro.
I watched the entire fucking game, bro.
It was so boring.
Literally, there were two plays that made me scream, and they were the last two plays in the last inning.
DJ LeMayju ties it up.
Altube hits a walk off.
The entire eight innings before that shit, I'm sitting there fighting sleep.
I literally had to get up and go to a bar to watch the game.
I'm like, I'm going to fall asleep on the couch if I watch this here.
So I went to the bar down the street, sitting there fucking nervous as shit.
As soon as LeMayju ties it up, I'm like, all right, boom, we in here.
Go in the extra innings, got my drink here, yada, yada.
Very next inning, he hits the walk off, and that's the fucking game.
That's baseball.
The most boring, most popular fucking sport.
I just got bored right now listening to you talk about that.
I see it.
I'm trying to hype it up and shit.
I'm like, yeah, nah.
I'm talking about baseball.
I just went on a 30-minute rant about comedy I thought was pretty boring.
But hearing you talk about baseball for 30 seconds even put my own boring conversation in perspective.
That's for all the people that say we don't talk baseball.
There it is.
That's the reason.
That's why.
You said DJ LeMayhu, and I almost fell asleep halfway through his neck.
There was something about huge that sounded like it's sucking me.
I'm just, I'm done.
What are you talking about now?
Did exciting sports happen?
Basketball season this week.
We got basketball back, but more importantly, I saw a crazy news story.
Akash, did you hear about them Indians that they put the cardboard boxes on their heads so they didn't cheat during the test?
There's an Indian school where the kids had to have a cardboard box with a hole cut out in the front when they're taking the test so they didn't look over at each other's tests.
Is that a common thing?
Not that I know of, but good for them.
And you can't just all be cheating off the smartest kids in the school.
They're all the smartest.
So who's cheating on who?
Bro, everybody probably cheating off everybody.
They're all going for them hundreds.
You just write the answers inside the cardboard box.
That's what you lit.
I'm pretty sure they put the box, right?
They don't let you bring your own box from home.
I thought they would let you bring your own box.
I thought they would let you bring your own box.
So, wait, you just got to bring your bed?
Kids, we would like if you bring your bed to school for test tomorrow.
Everybody's going to be testing their bed.
Relax, y'all.
Oh, shit.
I thought that was crazy, man.
I took a little screenshot of it.
Yeah, I was about to say, can I see it?
I got you.
That's all I'll show you.
Yo, while we're pulling this up, did you guys watch the video I sent you of the Tom Brady massage parlor shit?
No, what was that?
Bruh, it's a clip from this.
Holy shit.
That's great.
That's what's up, man.
Let me take those motherfuckers cheat.
Yeah, be doctors.
Nobody wants to, I don't even want to be smart that.
There's a clip.
There's a clip I sent y'all.
It's a little excerpt from this new Paul Rudd TV show, I think.
His life sucks or whatever white people think.
And he drives through.
Ain't that every white show?
My life is just good.
That's every liberal white person show.
Yeah.
This is so funny.
Go on on this.
This is so great.
Every white person TV show is, oh, my life is only good.
Why can't it be great?
And it's like, bruh, this is very low stakes.
I'm going to be honest.
Top boy, I just started watching motherfuckers getting marked out with guns in England.
I don't even know how they got the guns.
They all have to share one.
It's quite adorable.
And Paul Rudd is like, oh, I only make $60,000 a year.
Oh.
I'm not talking about all white people.
I'm not talking about the fucking coal miners in West Virginia.
I'm talking about these fucking liberal cucks who are like, no, this is art.
Nah, man, that shit is boring, yo.
That's all I got.
American Privilege Percentages00:04:36
I just didn't want to interrupt.
Where's going?
It's like, there's this funny thing that I see often shared, and it's something like, you know, not going for your dreams.
And it's like, it's not going for your dreams and risking it all.
And instead just sitting at your job and then going home to your house and just eating with your family.
That is the real nightmare or something like that.
You know what I mean?
I'm not wording it right, but essentially the idea that you got to go.
Like white people are, we're so good at just regular life that being regular is a nightmare.
Oh yeah, man.
It's just a fucking, it's the worst thing in the world.
No, but like the golden handcuffs.
Like my mom even described this to me once.
She was like, you know, I had this job and I had my health care and I had my benefits and I had that.
But those are the golden pancuffs, you know, because that's what they do.
They get you to stay there with those golden handcuffs because they don't want you to go out there and be great.
And it's like, you know how many people would love.
Lock me up.
Lock and me.
Like that's the dream to be handcuffed to that life.
Oh man.
I get so fucking tired of these shows.
That's what Louis was.
That's why I didn't fuck with Louie.
I'm like, you're just a white dude who's complaining that he's 10 pounds overweight, but keeps eating.
Like, uh, yeah.
Fuck is a big deal here.
Dude, there is something about it.
Like, like, I understand, like, I'm a white guy, right?
So I have this privilege, right?
But I've always thought about this.
So let's say I have this privilege.
Let's say, Kaz, let's say my life is be generous.
How many times better than you just because of the color of my skin?
Oh, off-rip.
Are we doing like multiples or percentages?
Percentages.
Let's say 50%.
Yeah, well, yeah, it's like 65% better.
Sure, whatever you want.
I could have said any number.
I'm 65% better than you, right?
Can you reword that?
It's not weird.
I'm 100% better than his class.
My life, my privilege is.
Thank you.
I was looking for that synonym.
So my life is 65%.
65% more of a person.
Listen, so let's say I'm two-fifths better than you, right?
That's not looking far.
I know.
So what if he chose the exact amount?
It turned out to be two-fifths.
But let's just say that, right?
Whatever amount you say.
I don't view things like that.
No, I'm just saying.
It's just hypothetical.
It's just hypothetical.
I don't feel that either.
Look, we're just throwing it out to appease whoever's listening.
It doesn't matter.
Even if my life is better, I was talking to Alex and Weezy about this.
I don't see myself as more privileged than anybody.
Even if I am, I can't go through life and treat you equally if I see myself as better.
So I purposely refuse to lean into that so I don't feel pity in my interactions with you or Alex or Akash or anything like that.
And I think that's one of the reasons why it's, I think our interactions are quite trusted when I say these things because it doesn't seem like I'm speaking down to whatever.
Anyway, so 65%, right?
I'm 65% more, right?
But both of us are 10,000% better than somebody living in like a forest in Cambodia.
Oh, 1,000%.
Right?
So my percentage better than you is like 0.000001% when it compares to the person at the bottom.
So while we're complaining about who's in the 99th percentile and the 98th percent, that's the argument in America.
100%.
98 and 99th percentile.
And we're like, oh my God, you have it so better.
And oh my God, it feels so bad.
You got so worse.
And literally, the majority of the world is like, I'll take anything.
Yes.
Give me anything.
I used to say this with Occupy Wall Street.
It's like, bro, if you're American, you are the 1%.
Yes.
American privilege.
Fuck white, black, whatever privilege.
American privilege is the overwhelming privilege.
American poor is adorable.
Do you know what I mean?
You know, like, American poor.
I live in the projects, and we can only buy Jordans three times a year.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Real talk.
When you compare our poor to other people's poor.
Go drink the water in India from the projects.
You think your water's bad?
Go drink that water.
See how your body handles it.
Just drink it.
If you can get it.
Yo, this is my favorite thing.
They were peeing in the elevator.
Elite Athlete Suspicion00:17:31
You haven't.
Elevator?
Yo?
What do you mean, elevate?
You got floors in your building?
Wait, your building is made of a substance that can sustain multiple floors?
Like, this crate, a hurricane's not going to wash your whole shit up?
Like, we're all so fucking lucky, dude.
100%.
100%.
Grand scheme of things, absolutely.
And I understand.
I'll never trade American poor for like Nigeria poor.
Bruh.
Ever.
But at the same time, you guys got it pretty fucking good.
So do we.
The point is, all we know is what we see, right?
So I completely understand everybody complaining about what they see.
And I completely understand like cul-de-sac whites complaining about things in their life because they don't see the poverty that's in the hood, right?
And that's why they make shows about how Paul Rudd's life is okay because they're so blinded to what goes on in Far Rock, what goes on in part of Staten Island, that these white people truly have no fucking clue about what goes on with poor whites in middle America.
They don't even know, right?
That's my issue is more of the people who seem to like cling on to it, these fucking liberal white fans that think they're open-minded.
And you're like, you think you're open-minded and you think that's a terrible life?
Like you got no global perspective if that's what you think.
And that's why we see so many of those shows because that's more of the population than people who are actually.
The thing is, nobody wants to be able to do that.
I think there's more poor white people who don't give a fuck about it.
I think there's more poor whites, but the people in like LA and New York are so are so like what is the word detached?
They're so detached from that reality that they keep on making their shows where they work in like an advertising firm and they like have like brunch all the time.
And the people in the middle of America are like, what are you talking about?
Are we supposed to relate to this?
There's a reason Roseanne slapped some fat bitch.
You know how many fat bitches there are?
Poor fat bitches?
Poor fat bitches?
They eat corn products all day?
That's why Duck Duck Dynasty is.
Did you call it Duck Duck Dynasty?
There's only one duck out there.
That's Duck Duck.
Duck Duck Goose.
Duck Duck Dynasty.
We'll have the fucking smarts of preschoolers who play Duck Duck Goose all day.
And they had the fucking game on Smash.
That's a fucking joke they said.
It relates to the country's name.
More of the country than the Duck Dynasty dude, they canceled him or whatever.
And they're like, oh my gosh, you believe he said this about black people.
They're like, yeah.
Have you seen the fucking show?
They're like, what do you think he thought?
I haven't even seen the show.
It's called Duck Dynasty.
He got rich by fucking.
Who do you think he's trying to camouflage himself from?
What the fuck?
Did you think he had these fucking.
Did you think he had these like really far thinking ideals nuanced ideologies on the race relations?
The motherfucker got rich off of ducks.
You don't know shit.
Anyway, the scene in the show, to get back to the point is he's going to a massage.
No, I brought it up, but he's going to one of these happy ending massage parlors and he's like contemplating like, ugh, am I really going to do this?
And then he's about to pull out.
And then Tom Brady walks out of the massage parlor.
And then he's got a car waiting for him.
And then Paul Rudd is like, what the fuck?
And he turns around and says to Tom Brady, I don't know.
Tom Brady says something like, this is great.
And then Paul Rudd said, is this your first time?
And then Tom Brady just looks at him like, come on.
And then he gets into his SUV and drives off.
Brady was apparently like upset that people thought he was making fun of Robert Kraft, but there's no other fucking reason that you're doing this unless it's the craziest coincidence in the world that you filmed it a year ago and Robert Kraft is getting hand jobs at Agents of Orchid or whatever the fuck.
So funny.
What do you think happened?
I mean, he did it to take a little shot at Kraft having his fun.
No, I thought Kraft was his bull.
Boy, I think he's just like, fuck it.
This is funny.
I thought it was just like, hey, man.
And if you talk to like... I said it on the text thread so you can find it, Alex, if you don't mind.
And if you talk to anybody who's been around Brady, same thing with like Peyton Manning and like all these like quarterbacks, whatever, like that's his humor.
Like if you told anybody, like, oh, like, Brady's a great fucking guy.
Like, he's this, people think, like, Brady's this, like, fucking very stoic, fucking super competitive.
Like, yo, he's a bro, dude.
Like, he went to Michigan.
He chugs beers faster than anybody could humanly do.
Like, and everybody's around him.
Like, you'll never catch him doing that because he's the consummate pro and he says everything he's supposed to say when the camera's in front of his face.
But anybody who knows him personally says, like, yeah, like, he's a riot to be around.
He's always got jokes.
Same thing with Peyton Manning.
Same thing with a lot of these fucking dudes.
How else are you going to fucking connect to 70 other people on a team every single day?
That's a good ass point.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you got to be some sort of.
So we're not getting real Brady.
No, no, we don't get real Brady.
Hell no.
We don't get real Brady.
We'll never get real Brady.
You'll never see that popping out.
Like, the only time you see a little real Brady is when you see him talking shit to the cornerbacks pregame.
Oh, yeah.
I love that shit.
Yo, I love it.
See him on the sidelines, like hyping up the fucking fans and shit.
40 years old, still just chirping.
This one right here?
Yeah.
Down there, go down.
There we go.
Hell yeah.
All right, let me say it's 41 seconds.
Are we allowed to play this?
Yeah.
He's pulling into tall rows.
He's got glasses on.
On.
He's apparently unhappy.
He's pulling in a top happy spa.
And he's just like, nah, he's shaking his head.
Like, nah, I'm not going to do it.
The fucking cat in the window.
He's just about to pull out.
He's reversing.
And then out walks the God.
Takes a deep breath in, looks relieved.
Walks to his car.
That's great.
That is great.
That's great.
First time.
I love Paul Rudd.
So Brady asked Paul Rudd first time, and then Paul Rudd says, uh-huh, you.
And then Brady just looks at him and smiles and gets in the car.
Great.
It's great.
He's got to lean into that.
I'm pretty sure he ran it by Kraft first.
Of course, I think so.
Yeah, yeah.
Good for Kraft then.
Yeah.
These billionaires don't give a fuck.
That's how good it is to be real.
We don't even talk about it.
He's like, I got off and now let me make fun of it.
He really did.
I got off and then I got off.
That's how you get off.
Okay, what else?
What else?
Oh, so this Al Sean Jeffrey thing, this story just broke as we're about to start recording.
But this is very funny.
Last week, there was a source criticizing Doug Peterson, an anonymous source to Josina Anderson, criticizing Carson Wentz, saying basically Wentz and Peterson just kind of go for the big play too often and they could check down every once in a while.
And then like a couple other little criticisms.
Check down means throw to the people always trying to throw deep.
There's a running back.
There's a tight end who are running shorter routes.
You look for the deep ball first and if that's not there, you check down and you throw it to one of these underneath routes or eight yards, whatever.
Why won't they do it?
Is it ego?
What is the I don't know why?
And it doesn't seem like, I mean, I watched the Cowboys game.
They seemed to be throwing a lot of the game last night.
It seemed like a lot of 10-yard routes, eight-yard routes, whatever.
But this was just a player that was criticizing that was anonymous.
Al Sean Jeffrey, I think, was like, he's the guy that somebody said was Al Shawn Jeffrey.
And apparently he's been saying, like, I have no idea who it is.
We got to find this guy.
It could be any number of people.
And then somebody just outed him.
Josina Anderson says, whoever outed Al Sean Jeffrey, I forget his name, that guy has zero knowledge of my sources.
But she also didn't say it wasn't Al Shawn Jeffrey.
She just says he has zero clue of who I spoke to.
That's not saying it wasn't Alsha Jeffrey.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's like a tricky wording, I think.
So it's quite possibly Al Shawn Jeffrey, which is so funny.
What about Nelson Aguilar?
It could be Aguilar.
And I don't know if you watched the game.
There was a deep.
That's the clip I wanted to bring up.
So yeah, it's 30 to 10.
Eagles got the ball with 11 minutes left in the fourth quarter.
Wentz throws a deep ball to Nelson Aguilar, who has his cornerback beat.
Easy.
Easy.
And if he just extends his arms at all, it seems like he's going to catch it.
He pulls back.
He chicken-armed it.
Did you watch it?
He goes like this.
Like he thought a safety was coming, but nobody's there.
I think that's what it was.
I think it looks as if he goes out, and then I think he caught something in his peripheral, and then he pulled back, and then he realized a fraction of a second later that it wasn't a safety.
He just caught part of the helmet or caught something on the sidelines, whatever.
And then he just let his arms go because he's like, I fucked up.
But it looked as if he quit on the play.
But he's always been, he's already been dropping all those balls.
And then that guy had that amazing Twitter.
By the way, that video, whatever.
I wasn't homeless.
Yeah, he looked like he was homeless.
Whatever that video was, I don't believe this motherfucker was.
How come there's no video of you catching babies?
This is the audio clip of the guy saying, like, they were having to throw babies out of the fire escape.
We caught him.
We're not like Aguilar or whatever his name is.
We caught the babies.
I hope if somebody was there, they would also try to catch the babies, not just videotaping.
But there's just nothing.
Like, I don't know.
That's kind of.
Babies are just getting thrown off of balconies and you're just catching all of it.
Also, how many babies?
Like, is this like a Latina neighborhood?
Like, what, like, are you going to have multiple babies in one apartment?
One family with multiple babies?
Physically, that doesn't even make sense.
Yeah, I don't think I believe this clip.
It makes sense.
It makes sense.
That he was catching multiple babies and then just multiple families.
So all these families agreed to have babies at the exact same fucking time.
They're all throwing.
None of them made it out and carried a baby out.
They always threw him to one or two guys.
Hey.
Got to have a plan, bro.
No, no.
Now that you bring this up, this is quite interesting.
How are there multiple babies on the floor?
I know for a fact.
I've known lots of people who've had families where it's like their brothers and sisters, whatever, all of it.
Not Nigeria.
I thought you were going to say, I know multiple people who have caught babies.
I was going to get cash out of the room.
No, I'm just saying, like, it's perfectly logical to have like brothers and sisters who have kids that all live into the same building.
Okay, but all of them throwing their baby out the window to one or two guys.
Like, none of them are like, nah, I got this, man.
Instead of throwing my child, I'll just carry him down the steps because I got to get out.
Listen, if there's a blazing fire there, you probably don't think the best.
I don't know.
I just think it's a little suspicious.
There's no footage of this whatsoever.
In a world where everything else gets caught on camera.
My shit's on fire, bro.
Like, and there's babies flying.
Everything is fine.
Maybe some people were like, yo, let's try to help these people.
You know how many deaths are you?
There was one guy.
Yeah.
That's what most people do, and it's fucked up.
But the reality is, most people, instead of saving, will just start taping.
Well, I'm sure if you look hard enough, there's some sort of video there.
Nothing exists.
I'm sure it's there.
Nothing exists.
Also, you're not going to drop one of the babies.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Every throw is perfect.
Yeah.
And none of these babies get hated.
Alcohol had to catch that smoke.
That's why I had to catch that smoke because I see how fucking easy it is.
These are babies.
You can't catch dead pitch.
Pitch.
Pigskin.
Anyway.
Yeah.
So apparently it's Al Sean Jeffrey that's talking shit about his own team and he got out.
And it's so funny because I just always been curious who the anonymous sources are.
And this time we found out and it's like, this is hilarious.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
Carson Wentz is kind of ass, yo.
Yo, it is.
It's kind of ass.
I always fear the Eagles.
I still don't think this season is over.
But it is.
It's the NFC leased.
Yeah, it's the NFC least horrible division.
But they look really bad right now.
I mean, oh, I thought you farted.
That was your phone.
Yeah, man.
I mean, I remember in the beginning of the season when they're talking Dak Prescott fucking contract numbers, and they're like, have that been resolved at all with Dak?
No.
But the big thing was like, he should get paid more than Carson Wentz.
His numbers are better across the board.
Immediately, I was like, yo, Dak Prescott, you're not better than Carson Wentz.
I look at the numbers and look at the win-loss percentage, and then I see last game.
Pretty much every number I've seen, Dak Prescott's a little bit better.
I'm like, oh, there you go.
I was never big on Carson Wentz.
I get caught up on the draft shit.
Like, if you're a first-round guy and then you cook in your rookie year, and then you want to see.
Oh, Carson Wentz is second year.
He was going to be MVP.
Oh, for sure.
For sure, for sure.
But, I mean, Prescott's definitely made his case that he needs to be one of the highest paid quarterbacks in the league and definitely be paid more than Carson Wentz.
Yo, did you guys see that one play?
You know, the play where Dak ran in for a touchdown?
Yeah.
If you look at the sideline camera footage of it, it's really funny because Zeke is running it out.
Yeah.
And when Zeke noticed it, did you see it?
I think I know what you're going to say.
Go ahead.
Say it, say it, say it.
When Zeke didn't get the ball, he was pissed.
Yo, dude.
It was like, what a fucking cunt.
When he noticed that he wasn't going to get the pass and that Dak was going for it, you can see him visibly put his arms down and he kind of gets like pushed out of bounds by the linebacker, whoever's like covering him.
Was it Jenkins?
Malcolm Jenkins.
But it was like, bro, you can't even be interested to see if Dak gets in.
I'm not a huge Zeke fan, man.
I don't trust the guy's character fully.
I just don't.
I just don't.
Let's say he doesn't get in.
Yeah.
Then I understand the attitude.
Because you're like, fam, just give it to me.
This is what I do.
I'll bully myself in.
But, bro, to be upset, and your team hasn't even not scored the touchdown yet.
But is that common sense?
That's insane, though.
That's complicated.
That's exciting.
You already got paid.
I doubt it, bro.
You got to get a $100 million contract.
How much more can you get paid?
So, what happens to you as like fuck being a fan?
Let's say you're the coach.
Like, is that a combo do you have?
I mean, I think some coaches would.
I don't think Garrett would, but I think, like, a hard-ass coach or whatever would at least pull him aside and be like, yo, what the fuck is it?
Because Dak is going to see that.
Like, homies is what's weird.
They're apparently like tight.
Nah, I mean.
Well, they came in the same year, right?
Dak is on record saying that's my best friend.
I don't know if that means that or not, but he said it.
Dak's always, that's the one that I give Dak.
Dak always says the right thing.
He reminds me of Russell Wilson a lot.
And Russell Wilson is cornier than Dak.
Yeah.
But like, there's a clip, there's a tweet I saw.
It's Russell Wilson saying, let's be great to every single teammate before a game.
He goes and gets every one of them five.
He goes, let's be great.
Let's be great.
Let's be great.
And it's like, that's just a fucking elite.
Dak is like that.
And I think he's cooler than Russell Wilson.
He's not as good of a quarterback, but he's cooler.
So it doesn't come across as corny, but he does the same kind of shit.
So I think him and Zeke will be fine.
But there is something about Zeke that I'm like, what is that?
Like, you already got paid.
Relax.
Is there a little.
Is there a little competition between them because they're both the same?
Would they came in the same year?
Same year.
They're both the same year.
They're fighting for who's the top dog in Dallas.
You know, the quarterback is always going to get a lot more love from the people, but you might think that you're a more skilled player.
I mean, if I guess you're more divisive in Dallas.
Quarterbacks in Dallas are always, unless you win a Super Bowl, you're not good enough.
Oh, really?
Romo still, a lot of people divided on Romo.
I didn't think he was that great.
Then I realized he just had a shitty supporting cast.
But like, Danny White, a quarterback in the 80s, really good stats, very much like Romo.
Made it to three NFC championships, never won.
Everybody in Dallas is like, whatever, yo.
So he wins chips.
Chips or nothing.
Chips or nothing.
Right now, fan base is very divided on Dak in Dallas.
Can we have a little combo about Amari Cooper?
Yo, he's saved.
Oh, he saved that man's career.
Yeah, man.
Amari Cooper was always like that dude coming out of college, too.
I remember him at college, right?
Where'd he go?
No, no, no, no.
Alabama, Alabama.
It was Alabama or Oklahoma.
It was Bama.
Pretty sure it was Alabama.
Whatever.
It was red and white.
I've never seen him in college.
Okay, and he killed it.
Don't get me killed.
But in college, you're also like, okay, you're not going against elite corners.
He had a great rookie year in Oakland.
Maybe a good second year.
And then all of a sudden, production kind of dropped off.
And then all of a sudden, we were like, Oakland is shopping him, and the Cowboys made the move.
Gruden.
Shopped everybody.
Gruden shopped all his blue chip players.
But from what I remember, like reading these Cowboys guys on Twitter or whatever, they were like, this is the kind of quarterback that Dak Prescott needs.
Really good route runner.
Can do things after.
Like Des was throw the ball up.
I'm gonna get it.
I'll go get it.
Just trust, even if I don't look fucking open, throw the ball up, I'll go get it.
Amari's like, I'm gonna be open.
And Amari's like, I'm gonna run the illest route you've ever seen.
I'll be open.
Bro, he put this one dude, Douglas, in the spin cycle.
I was watching this clip on ESPN over and over last night.
It was this quick little slant, right?
He does a fake slant.
Yes.
It's a sluggo, I think it's called.
Slant and go.
So you can't say it's a fan.
Slant and go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All of a sudden, you cut up the field and you run like a vertical go route.
Oh, he had the second, and it was almost like he was watching my man's hips.
It's like the second Douglas committed, he was gone.
Yeah, shopped it out.
And Douglas actually recovered pretty well.
I mean, for how beat he was.
There's a game in Philly last year.
I'm pretty sure Amari does, not a similar move, but some kind of move in his route.
And legit, if I'm not mistaken, legit tears Ronald Darby's ACO.
Legit Darby tears his ACO on that play.
And you don't see him like, but he goes down.
So something happens, and Amari runs an ill-ass route.
So he might have legit torn Darby's AC.
I remember what's his face did that?
DeAndre Hopkins on Real Sports?
Hard Knox.
Somebody was talking mad shit about him.
He runs his wild shit.
He's like, I do this, bro.
I do this, bro.
He runs some fucking crazy ass route.
Dude, guard him.
Lamar Jackson Spotlight00:04:21
I want to say it's Josh Norman.
I might be wrong, but it was some well-known cornerback.
Either fucked up his foot or his ACL or some shit.
And he's just literally sitting there on the floor, like grabbing his shit.
So like Cooper, totally see that happening, man.
Like he's been a baller ever since he got to the I mean he was a he was already good, but like that being an elite receiver in Dallas is like it's a different type of fucking spotlight.
He's being like a center fielder for the Yankees.
What's cool about him is he's got that Julio Jones thing where he's just quiet.
Yeah.
He's not like super and I love Dez, but Amar is the opposite in that he's like quiet.
He don't call attention to himself.
He don't like you don't see crazy Amara celebrations.
You don't hear headlines.
He's just a quiet dude.
Did you see the clip of Larry Fitzgerald and Kyler Murray talking about Julio?
No.
I love when like elite, I'll call Larry elite elite players like show love to, I just didn't want to put Kyler in there yet, but like show love to like their contemporaries.
And they were mic'd up and Larry goes, did you see Julio?
And Kyler's like, yeah, he goes, he goes, he goes, he's the best I've ever seen or something like that.
And then Kyler goes, he's massive or something like that.
Like they're just talking about how great the opposing wide receiver.
And Larry's like, yo, watch him because you're going to learn shit.
I feel like that's easier to do in football.
I love that.
You don't need to like.
You're not playing against him.
That's true.
So you can always.
You can check your ego a little.
Yeah, like they were talking about, they were saying that shit a lot about fucking the Seahawks Ravens game yesterday.
They're like, Lamar Jackson gets to watch Russell Wilson.
And then he goes out and beats him.
There's a clip you retweeted that was ill.
Son, that shit gave me goosebumps.
But the Ravens shit?
It's John Harbaugh.
Talk about it.
John Harbaugh is on the sideline.
It's fourth and they're on the eight-yard lines, fourth down, right?
Yeah, I think fourth and two, but I'm also just kind of making up a number.
Yeah, it was a goal line.
It was like fourth and like whatever it was.
It was an eight-yard run.
I think it was an eight-yard, but then whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Harbaugh's on, Harbaugh's on the sideline.
Lamar comes back to the sideline.
Harbaugh leans over to Lamar and there's like a lot of like ruckus and everything going on.
He goes, you want to go for it?
And he goes, and then like Lamar thinks he hears him, but he's not sure.
He goes, hell yeah, coach, let's go for it.
And then what I thought was really cool was he looks, I think, at his offensive lineman.
Was that it?
I think so.
He leans to somebody.
He's like, y'all want to go for it?
And they're like, yeah.
But I thought it was really cool because...
I love that dude, man.
Dude, I fucking love him.
But he did it.
It was really cool because he was like, yeah, I want to go for it.
But these are the guys that are going to make this room.
Y'all want to do this?
Yeah.
And I wonder if you're like a vet in.
Oh, it's great.
I've never seen him show that much emotion.
Oh, my God.
But I wonder if that's a fucking quarterback.
If you're a vet, if you're a vet O-lineman and like your quarterback goes, are we going to, do you want to do this?
Yeah.
I wonder if there's part of you that goes like, oh, no, no, there will be room provided now.
You put it on me.
You didn't make this decision.
We made this decision.
And it was like, oh, dude, it was so.
That's my quarterback.
That's my quarterback.
What was that?
What was that?
Aaron T.
I was crying after they lost their cowboy game.
It's like a playoff game.
I think it was against the Giants.
He's like, y'all are being too hard on Tony Romo.
He's literally crying.
In tears.
That's my quarterback.
That's my quarterback.
You've never seen this video?
No.
He's like ball.
He has sunglasses.
He's like bawling, crying over the side.
It's like Rod Tidwell and Jerry McGuire.
But I think he was full of shit.
Because he trash Romo literally.
I think that's why it made so much noise because weeks going into there, it was like Tio and Romo.
Are they getting along?
And he went like he shuts.
He's a crazy person.
But I think there's as an offensive lineman, if your quarterback looks to you like that, he's like, yo, that's my quarterback.
That's my fucking guy.
He cares about me.
He makes me a part of this shit.
It's not about him.
It's about us.
If you're like, y'all want to go for it?
Let's go for it.
Maybe.
Maybe we're reading too much into it, but that's definitely something I could see happening.
Maybe.
It was just fun.
It was just cool.
I know I don't want to go too long because we have this interview that we're adding on this on this podcast right here, my friends.
But there are bills that need to be paid.
Rapper Interview Strategy00:15:05
I feel like Akash Singh knows how to deliver this because he is the most staunch.
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There's no dumbass ads.
There's no stupid ass pop-ups.
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Like, you won't believe 10 things Kylie Jenner said to Kendall.
Fucking infuriating me that I'm reading this on a sports site.
Athletic got none of that.
The coverage goes beyond game recaps to provide smarter analysis and a deeper perspective about teams and league.
Subscribers have full access to all national and local NBA coverage plus stories, podcasts, and videos from all sports.
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That's a massive discount.
That comes out to $2.99 a month when you subscribe at theathletic.com slash flagrant2.
Again, that's theathletic.com slash flagrant2.
God, Akash, that was beautiful.
That was absolutely gorgeous.
Okay, so once again, we have an interview with Adam from No Jumper.
So that will be coming up right now.
I warned you guys about this in the beginning of the episode.
So here it comes.
And again, we recorded this last week.
So if there's anything crazy that has happened in the meantime, we did not know.
But yeah, enjoy the interview.
Thank you, new listeners who are here just to listen to this Adam No Jumper interview.
Hopefully you like the podcast.
You want to check out what we're doing.
And if not, fuck you.
It's on site.
On site.
It's on site.
All right.
Without further ado, Flagrant 2, Adam from No Jumper.
We're going to explain to you why his threesomes must be the worst possible.
Indulge.
Special guest.
Very special guest.
Special guest in the building.
Adam 22.
Also known as Adam No Jumper.
Also known as No Jumper.
Connoisseur of private Snapchat girls.
Gangster rappers.
Basically anyone with a horrible childhood.
Adam will find a way to make money off of you.
I'm guessing by them tattoos he relates.
Yeah, right?
We're going to kill it.
I managed to survive.
You come from New Hampshire.
You had a good childhood, right?
You were BMXing in those streets, in those cul-de-sacs, if you will.
For real.
And then you went to start this.
I don't even want to call it music because it's not only music, it's multimedia.
YouTubers, porn stars.
The whole nine.
Yeah.
Right?
In L.A. Adam, thank you so much for coming here.
I've done the No Jumper podcast a few times.
I always had fun out there with you.
I really thought it was a sports podcast before I went the first time.
Really?
So you thought we were going to talk about sports all the time.
That's amazing.
Son, I 100% did.
I thought the whole thing with No Jumper was, is that you were a guy like you could dunk or get to the rim, but you just couldn't pull up.
So what's the name?
Why name it that?
Just because there's that Gucci song, Bricks, where he said, I'm born like an athlete, but got no jumper.
We actually made like a list of like 100 different song lyrics that we just thought sounded tight.
And we just sort of like went through it over and over and just found that and just figured out the one that fit.
I thought it sounded like something.
And we could get the URL.
I was like, all right, let's do it.
So you were thinking, I'm always curious about people who get unaccidental success because there are people who have accidental success and then they often flame out, but there are people who have purposeful success.
And even though they may experience their fair share of problems in their career, which we know you probably have gone through, they managed to kind of reinvent and do something.
How early on do you think you understood the internet space and how lucrative it was going to be for you?
I mean, really, I have full memories of being like 14 years old with an internet connection and just not being able to go to bed until like four in the morning, even though I had school at six because I was so obsessed with the internet.
You know, it's like you kind of just are drawn towards things.
And those are the things that, you know, you should probably like listen to your body.
Like I'm sure for you, like, you don't have a hard time going to do comedy.
Love it.
You know?
Love it.
Like myself, I have a hard time going to the gym.
Yes.
I'm not an athlete.
Like, that's just not like who I really am.
Yeah.
But like for me, like doing podcasts, I'm super drawn towards it.
So I feel like I'm swimming in the right direction.
Like internet always just 100%.
Like even before I even had like the mental tools to understand that I was so drawn towards it, it was all I could think about was just, you know, writing shit online.
The communities are popping up.
I was on the show.
But did you know you were going to monetize it?
Because that's something that I've always found you did quite well.
It's like, it's not just put out the videos or do the interviews with the strippers or this type of shit.
It's like there was a moment where you were playing other people's music online.
You remember that shit?
Still do that.
Did they shut that down?
They didn't shut that down.
It's like literally like the best monetization angle we have going more or less.
So how does that work?
Do you have like a streaming deal with the podcast or live on YouTube the same way that people like play video games, except that we just play people's SoundCloud links or play their YouTube videos and give them thoughts about their shit and the chat destroys them or compliments them one or the other.
And we just sort of like, I don't know.
People go crazy for this shit.
But in terms of like monetization, to be real, I remember even because like my first big thing that I did that actually made sense as like a business online was that I started like basically the first BMX blog in 2006 called theComeUp.com.
Vlog or vlog?
It was written.
Yeah, yeah.
It was just like BMX news.
I remember that blog.
Yeah, but it was like that was kind of new because at the time, like I was just influenced by NatWright and Two Dope Boys and all these rap blogs and shit that were popping up.
And I was like, oh, I could do like a BMX version.
And that was my first inroad to doing anything that could actually be monetized.
And I was totally blind to the reality of like, oh, you can get people to give you money for banner ads on the side.
I had to figure it all out from scratch.
I was just not educated about that at all.
But you realize that there was money there.
Yeah.
Because at the time, I was playing online poker.
And man, that is really not the way of life that you want to have, bro.
It's a grind.
It's like so many hours of just sitting there.
I was pissing in this jug.
It was because you can't get up.
You got eight tables going.
It's like you got to run to the bathroom and bag.
It might take you like a solid minute and you're going to get timed out on like half of your tables.
Right.
So I would keep a jug under my table and I'll just piss in the jug.
How much money did you make online poker?
I mean, I was doing pretty good for a while for those years because those early years, like I didn't realize it, but I got into it in boom times.
Like 2003, 2004, 2005.
That was like the main time that I was really playing non-stop.
And it was stupid easy.
Like, I'm not under the illusion that I could be like a winning online poker player now because the game is so much tougher.
It's insane how much it's progressed.
But at that time, I was doing pretty good.
I was probably doing like low six figures a year, which to me, as like a 21-year-old college dropout, I was pretty fucking hyped.
But it was like that time just spent online where I was constantly looking for something to distract me online because I just wanted to like, I was just looking for different blogs and stuff because of, or just news websites, whatever, because I'm just sitting there playing poker all day and I just always want something to be able to glance over at and stuff.
And I'd be messaging people on AIM or whatever, but I would end up looking at a lot of message boards and I'd look at blogs a lot and I just sort of ended up seeing that gap in the BMX game.
And to be honest, I just like completely dominated that whole world for like 10 years.
And then at some point got kind of bored and started doing podcasts and vlogs and stuff.
And then that sort of like transitioned over to me doing all that shit with rappers.
Where the fuck do you get in go from BMX to hip-hop?
Do those worlds collide at all?
They do, just in the sense that like the average BMX kid is just out riding his bike listening to fucking rap songs in his headphones all day.
So I was always just riding BMX and making BMX videos and just whatever.
So it was like, I always just was just a rap fan as like as a young kid.
Like I was obsessed with like Snoop and Wu-Tang and everything out of New York and all this shit.
And then like, I feel like with me just having that kind of career path where I didn't really have to like ever stop just like listening to rap music 24-7.
I just like gradually got deeper and deeper into it.
And then I was just like downtown LA running a bike shop and like because we just started a bike shop there in like 2013 or whatever.
And that was, and then it just so happens that like SoundCloud rap was basically like happening all around there.
So there's just all these rappers like stopping by the shop and shit.
Downtown LA is like one of the cheapest places you can live in LA.
So it's like I was just meeting all these rappers and that just sort of like led to me doing interviews with them just because I was already doing BMX interviews and then that sort of just like snowballed.
It was kind of intentional that I wanted to start a podcast, but it being so hip-hop focused was definitely not like my original intention.
It just sort of like worked out that I knew a lot more about it than anything else.
You said you followed like Not Wrights and Two Doll Boys and like these type of like successful rap blogs before that.
What made you want to like kind of focus on the I mean because you attract a certain type of artist for your shit, right?
So I mean I was just like I was just friends with a few different people that were in that sort of like Florida like post-Raider clan era of like you know Xavier Wolf and Bones and Puya and Rob Banks and all these different types of dudes who are sort of like the predecessors to like X and Lil Pump and Smoke Perp and all that shit.
Like they sort of like were the generation of like SoundCloud rappers before that.
And I was like cool with all them.
So it just so happened that like when all these young kids start getting into the rap game, they're sort of like looking at me as like the only one that's maybe interested in interviewing them because the mainstream like rap world hadn't necessarily sort of caught up to the idea that you want to be doing content with the dope new rappers that are just now popping up.
You can probably get more views doing an interview with some kid who got face tattoos and green hair who just popped up two weeks ago that people are interested in than, you know, a fucking like I would love to do a TI interview, but I'll probably get more views doing an interview with some fucking green-haired little freak.
Because those kids that are watching don't care about TI the way they care about this green little hair.
Also there's just more supply of TI and it's new, right?
If you're a TI fan, there's a million fucking TI interviews.
He got his own podcast, you know?
I say that as someone who, like, on a personal level, I would way rather interview T.I. than, like, tomorrow's flavor of the week.
I mean, that's kind of what I was trying to get into.
I just did a panel with the Roland Loud guys with like Tarek and Zach and those dudes.
And they kind of have like a similar story where they were cool with the South Florida dudes.
And, you know, that's just who they were around.
So, you know, a lot of times that's what kind of helped them blow up.
Yeah.
But I was looking at their list of all the flyers, like everything they ever did, and like the first Rolling Loud with Schoolboy Q headlining.
And it's like not that many big artists.
It was very chill in comparison to what they've built it up to.
It's actually insane.
Now, do you, I mean, like, you know, with these artists, you know, a lot of times when they go on your show, they're kind of talking about illegal shit, like talking about stuff that would definitely get them in trouble.
Like, you don't ever feel like that's kind of like exploitive of it.
Especially these kids are barely 16, 15 years old.
I feel like for the most part, it's like we're not really putting out anything that's going to get them in trouble or whatever.
There's definitely been times.
Like, I mean, I'll give you an example.
Like, I did a vlog with Stupid Young, who's this Cambodian rapper from Long Beach, and we just went out and vlogged all day.
And like, he at one point sees like a machine gun sitting there in this fucking garage that is like broken.
It's like it's just like a machine gun that's sitting there.
I don't know.
I guess they just have machine guns, these Cambodian guys.
And so he just picks it up and points it at the camera and goes, like, whatever, like that.
He caught charge from it because he's a fucking felon and he's not allowed to be handling firearms at all, including for that second.
I would have definitely not put that in the video.
Yeah, that's what I was about to ask.
It's like, you know, if you're doing the show, like, you're very well aware of like hip-hop cops and like people that see all this shit and they know you have one of the more popular shows.
He wasn't mad about it, to be honest, because he knew that he should have been smarter to not pick that up and do it on camera, you know?
And he also knew that I would have taken it out if he had mentioned it.
You know, it's like that because that does happen.
Like just the other day, somebody said something like mildly homophobic on the podcast.
And like he hit me up afterwards and was like, yo, like, you think that shit sounded weird?
And I was, I already like removed it.
Like, I already told my guy to remove it because I was like, I know that he doesn't know how weird that sounded, and I don't feel like dragging him through that, you know?
And it's like, I feel like the main thing is like, if somebody has an open case, then it's like, you have to be really, really considerate of that, especially.
And also, it's like, if the person is not necessarily smart enough to realize the negative implications that are going to, or the ramifications that are going to have on their career, if they say a certain thing, it is kind of like on me at a certain point.
But then again, it's like, I really only interview so many, like interviewing like 16-year-old kids that just straight up don't know any better is like a small part of my thing.
It's and most like young kids like that.
It's so fucking annoying, is it?
That's what I was going to say.
That's like work.
That's what my first thought was: you said I would rather interview T.I.
And I was like, so you're interviewing these kids.
That seems like work.
Why would you do work when all we're trying to do is not work here, essentially?
Well, I mean, I just interviewed Lil Tekka, who's like a couple months ago, but he's like one of the biggest new artists of the year.
It's like my audience straight up wants me to do that interview because they want to hear what he has to say.
And they also want me to be the one to do it because I feel like if Lil Tekka goes in and does an interview with Ebro, it's going to be a lot of like.
It's very different.
Wow.
You're like a kid.
This is crazy.
Okay.
Here's another question I have.
It's like, every once in a while, you come across a teen that happens to be a superstar.
Right?
Yeah.
X being one of them.
Did you know it instantly when you're sitting down for the interview?
Did you know instantly this kid had a magnetism that few people in the world had?
Just a gravity that just brought everything around him.
My thought is, I think, knowing what I know now, I definitely think I would have been able to be smart enough to say, so you have a record deal?
You have a manager?
You got anything like going on?
And try to help lead him in the right direction.
At that time, I was still kind of too green to it that my only thought was like, oh, like he's dope.
Like, actually, I really think that kid's a star.
Like, I'm glad we did the interview.
Teen Superstar Magnetism00:04:38
I'll probably stay in touch with him.
But at that time, I like wasn't like with it enough to really try to harness it.
So you didn't know he was going to blow up.
I thought his shit was dope, but I also thought it was too abrasive and sort of like noisy to necessarily have a super mainstream audience, you know?
Because at that point, most of his shit really was in that vein.
And then all of a sudden, like a year later, he's got like a number one album that is like a fucking campfire album.
You know, it's like he completely went.
And even that, when I heard that album, I'm like, man, I'm so glad that he did this like beautiful artistic project that he's so passionate about.
But I don't know that his fans are going to want to hear this.
And they loved it.
And I was so wrong.
They loved it.
Way more than they probably would have even gravitated towards some straight hip-hop shit, to be real.
I think to follow up, maybe this is what you were asking me.
To follow up on that, when you sit down with these kids, do you feel the star quality is what I was like, are you like, oh, shit, I can just feel like an aura.
This kid is a star.
Sometimes.
Or do they just have fucking face tattoos?
And that's a weird thing.
But like, Lil Tekka is like the most ordinary looking kid with braces.
And I'm going to be real.
Like, I thought, like, oh, he's got a hit song.
That song's huge.
But I didn't know that it was going to be like top 10, like crazy, long-running hit smash song.
Yeah.
And I was also just kind of looking at him like, this kid's tight, but I didn't know.
Like, I don't really know why kids have gravitated towards him so much over the past.
Or like Polo G is another dude that I interviewed like maybe six months ago.
And his connection with the audience is insane.
Like his streaming numbers are ridiculous.
I really think he's good musically, but I mean, there's been a lot of artists that I thought were pretty fucking good musically that didn't take off.
So it's like you can have a lot of faith in somebody, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're really going to take it the whole way, you know?
And honestly, when you start like picking these dudes or like paying attention, like as an interviewer, I don't really have that much of an incentive to find out about somebody when they're 14, unless they have like a big song when they're 14.
But somebody told me they're like, yo, it's like you're a basketball scout, which is very topical for this.
But he's like, you know, because in reality, it's like you're looking at these kids to try to identify the good things about them before they've even developed it enough that it's obvious to other people.
It's like you could see a kid who's got like, you know, he's really tall and slender, muscular, he's got great ball control, whatever the fuck you guys talk about.
It's kind of like that.
With Lil Teka, it's like, I felt like he had a really, really good sense of melody.
Felt like he was just like a cool kid.
Did not know that people were going to gravitate towards like, because he doesn't have any kind of like crazy image or anything.
But you got to know with your audience and, you know, with the type of artists you attract that, you know, you're more of a, you're more than a tastemaker.
Like if somebody goes on your podcast, no matter what the fuck they're rapping about, talking about, they're going to get some sort of bump, something significant.
But I feel like I can only shed light on what they're already doing because if somebody's like hilarious and great on camera and they come do the podcast and they give a convincing endorsement of their music or whatever, then that could definitely help them blow up.
Yeah, think of it like a like a late night show where it's like, I may not know about you.
I may know that you have enough buzz to get my attention.
But like if you kill it on Leno or fucking Fallon or some shit, well not Fallon because you know, but back in the day, if you killed on Leno and Letterman, oh, okay, I'm going to go watch this guy's one hour stand-up.
I'm going to go buy this guy's album.
I'm going to go do that.
So you have to know what that sort of responsibility that you have, especially with these kids that are young.
It is a responsibility.
But I feel lucky to even get to do that interview when I have the dope new 15-year-old rapper on the podcast because it is kind of absurd for me to be talking about somebody so much younger than me and everything.
But at the same time, I'm fighting to get that fucking interview.
I'm fighting right now to get a fucking NLE Choppa interview.
And it's just like the labels just being dickheads about it.
And I talk to him and he wants to make it happen.
We're just going back and forth and shit.
He's 16, but he's like one of the dopest guys out there.
I wish I got that podcast six months ago.
If I can get it now, that's still good.
So you'll get pushback from a label?
I mean, the label just always has them on these insane schedules that they're just torn and recording or whatever.
They're against it.
Just not available.
Yeah, I would say for the most part, they're not against it.
But also I do feel like the label sometimes, like there are artists that they want to like conserve their interviewing, because the truth is, if you come out and just do 20 full-length fucking interviews, then you've blown the whole load.
There's nothing left to give you know.
But if you come out and do one dope ass podcast, that becomes like the blueprint for your career and people keep going back to it or whatever.
Or if you're like Jay-z's, like the best dude to ever market himself through interviews, because every single time he did an interview hit you some crazy shit went viral about it, like made magazine tabloid headlines and shit like that, and he even said in the song he's like, and my interviews are hotter, it's like.
Fake Gun Store Safety00:04:04
So he knew exactly what he was doing.
Yeah, and in like the late 90s, which is crazy.
Yeah, you know, there's a um, there's a video that you add out that I thought was was quite uh, hilarious and also frightening, of the guy pulling a gun on you during the interview.
Yeah, did you think when you were bmxing and then you transitioned a rap where you're like, there's no way this could be more dangerous.
Oh man, I gotta blow my nose.
You see that booger just came out my nose flashbacks probably.
Yeah no no no surprise, surprise at him.
That did take me by surprise, for real.
That was, tell me about that.
I thought that was what happened.
I thought that was staged.
No, it looked like it looked like something you was kind of doing for clout.
No, I and I get that.
It kind of looked like that to be real.
Like I don't really blame people for thinking that.
But what really happened was I was just doing that thing.
We were talking about playing music in the back of the store, just chilling, and then all of a sudden, fucking like my guy went out to get the the delivery, and then he comes back in and when the doors cracked open for a second, this fucking kid just runs in with a mask on and he fucking puts his gun in my face and says, give me all your fucking money.
Do you want to die?
Blah blah, blah.
And so my friend stands up and pulls his gun out and puts it to the fucking kid's head and doesn't shoot, but then just like smacks him in the side of the head with it and just proceeds to beat the dog shit out of him, knocks him out, and then we're like going through his pockets and shit, being like who the fuck is this kid?
We're like looking at all his shit and like uh, we had to call the cops.
The cops like tried to convince us that they didn't need to come and we were like what do you mean?
Like these lazy fucking cops were just like.
They're like.
They're like, but you, you already handled the situation and we're like yeah, we handled it, but we have an unconscious Filipino child in our store right and and like there's a gun.
Like what am I supposed to do with this gun?
I feel like, if I throw this gun away, that's definitely not a good idea.
You don't want your prints on the gun at all.
Nah, and it was a fake gun too.
It was like a prop gun.
So it was a fake gun.
Yeah, so he almost got killed for real.
Yeah, off a prank.
Yeah, did you think?
Did he say why he was doing it?
Did you get to talk to him after we don't know?
And actually the other day I went to court and was like around him.
I'm sitting like fucking three feet away from this kid and I was.
I only went into court because I actually wanted to like figure out what the fuck the deal was like, why this kid felt the need to do that because, I mean, it's a fake gun.
So it's like I guess he probably knew that.
You know he wasn't gonna like get a w in this situation, since it's like, at the end of the day, he knows there's a bunch of people there you're gonna get beat up, since you have a fake gun that you're not gonna be able to shoot.
Unless he thought he was gonna take everybody hostage, which maybe in his fucking stupid ass brain he actually did.
I mean, that's major clout points if he robs all these with a fake gun.
Yeah oh dude, imagine he had us hostage for a couple hours.
Is that right?
He robbed a bunch of mob bosses.
I think that's how he with a fake gun I don't think I don't know it's a fake gun.
I think tonight could pull down.
I gotta rewatch this.
Was that John Q?
Is that the movie?
Oh yeah, so so it's a.
It's a weird situation where like, I feel like you're one of the most accessible famous people.
Do you get in scared about that?
And but and let me just clarify to anybody listening.
You have this store still, that's on Melros.
Yeah, that you're at probably daily when you're in La yeah, you're like a white nipsey hustle.
Come see me at my stores.
I'm out here for you.
That's actually funny.
Melrose instead of Crenchon.
Bro, marrying the whole time.
That's fucking funny.
Dude, it might be it.
You're not worried that people are going to come for you.
People are going to try to rob you.
I mean, I just feel like I refuse to really fundamentally change my lifestyle just because of the rare occasion that somebody's going to want to do something to me.
So at the store, yeah, we do have security.
And like realistically, it's like I have friends who have weapons on them and shit like that.
But I'm just not going to live my life like a fucking pussy just because of the off chance that somebody's going to want to do something to me because I'm famous or whatever.
Like I'm not, I just don't fucking care.
Like I'll handle that situation if it happens.
You know, it's like, I've been walking around in the city all day taking pictures.
Ryan Holiday Philosophy Reads00:06:52
Like me and Dave were just talking about that.
Like ain't nobody going to do anything?
There ain't no tough dudes out here.
We're walking around Times Square.
Like what the fuck?
People are selling CDs and shit.
You know, it's like, we're in Central Park and shit.
It's like, it's not like I'm walking around fucking it out in the most populated place in the world.
But I'm going to be real with you.
Like my whole 20s was spent like fucking riding my bike in like Brownsville and fucking all these different parts of New York and shit.
And like as a kid, like we were always in terrible neighborhoods with expensive camera equipment and just kind of got some like weird level of respect from the average dude who's in the projects that they're not going to take this camera from.
You would wait for you to fall off the bike and then they'd rob you.
Listen, I know plenty of people got robbed.
So it's not like it doesn't happen.
But it just never happened to me.
And I never fucking walked around like, oh, I'm going to just completely avoid this situation because it's risky.
Like, fuck that.
I'm going to just fucking live my life.
And if I get my shit took or if somebody want to beat me up, it's like, all right, you caught me slipping.
Now back to like your content a little bit.
Like you call, like a lot of people call you a culture vulture.
I was one of them for a long time.
And you know, you said like, you know, you're, you, you want to interview like the TIs of the world, like the people, like the music that you listen to yourself.
So like you had this audience.
You have, you've built up this massive fan base.
Like if these are the people that you want to talk to, why not just talk to them instead of, you know, doing this?
I do it all.
Okay.
I mean, I like interviews.
I know you interview like people from all walks of life as well.
To me, it's like I can interview Selena Powell and get a bunch of crazy ass ratchet stories about her robbing rappers and shit.
And then I can interview fucking, you know, I had Tray the Truth on the other day.
And I had Ryan Holiday who's like, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Fire author.
He's yeah, I had him on the other day.
I like him a lot.
He's like one of my favorite people for sure.
You don't think it's.
You kind of look like a bizarre version of him.
We just had him.
We just had no mids.
And I thought he was an interesting guy.
He's a good guy.
He's one of these guys that kind of takes Eastern philosophy and blends it into inspirational literature.
Who's the guy that was another guy that did that like 10 years ago?
All of them.
Malcolm Gladwell.
Caldwell.
What's it called?
What the fuck?
Your mom used to read him, I think.
Deepak Chopra.
No, the guy who has a book where he fuck is always in the title in some way.
Oh, fuck.
I know.
Charlamagne posted a book like this.
Yeah, we had him on as well.
Sudden Art and I. Subtle Art and I'm not sure.
There's another one.
I forget his name.
He had him on the podcast, too.
Great guys.
Nice guy.
Ryan, nice guy.
My one hesitation with Ryan was when I saw him wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt.
He was talking about that with me.
He said it was his favorite band for like 20 years.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Which is good because I don't want to see Ryan Holiday rock in an ironic band shirt.
Like when Aziz had the Metallica shirt on.
A couple of specials.
Like, really, bro.
I need you to name six.
Listen, like, you're allowed to rock that once in a while.
I'm with it.
But if it was part of, like, I'm going to the breakfast club and Brilliant Idiots and I want to have a look that is endearing to this audience.
This is a marketing guy.
You know, that's his background before the literature.
And I'm like, is he really about this?
Or did he notice a white space in the market?
And he's smart enough to seize it and give these people the inspiration and motivation that they need in a digestible form based on this Eastern philosophy.
Because my favorite thing about the Eastern philosophy motivation shit is we really act like in the East, they're all calm and chilling.
It's like, ask the Chinese if the Japanese were really calm when they raped them and killed them.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I don't know if the whole East is really the most easy place.
Like, rape is pretty popular in Addis.
But you know what I mean?
I don't think they're out here just meditating all the time.
Ryan Holiday's whole thing is that he just will straight up hit you with anecdotes about fucking JFK and then about some band and then about something that some stoic philosopher said is that he basically will just like decide that this is the point he wants to make and then he compiles like evidence of this from like a period of thousands and thousands of years.
And that is what I find kind of interesting about it just because he's got a very orderly brain that he's sort of organized.
I was unimpressed, bro.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
We were in the home, bro.
It's not hard to say because I know how much Charlotte loves him and he's a sweet guy, but I'm sitting there with him and it's like, are you really gonna tell me to focus on the now?
Right.
You really, you needed a whole book to say focus on the now.
You're not wrong.
And don't get me wrong.
Like, there's value to a messenger, meaning the way, here's a perfect example: the way X communicated to his fan base was different than the way you could be able to communicate to his fans, or I could communicate to his fans.
Same thing with Pac, and the same thing with, you know, Jay, the same thing with Jordan Peterson, the same thing with maybe Sam Harris a little bit, though he's kind of whatever.
But like, there's ways that people communicate, and there are mouths that need to be fed with that information.
I just, when I sat down, I wasn't blown away like I have been when I sat down with certain people.
No, but I get it that you're such a sarcastic piece of shit that it's impossible for you, and I'm completely in the same boat.
It's impossible for you to imagine making a book and putting it out there with the book being just completely sincere, positive motivation and inspiration for people who maybe don't have their lives together.
Because I don't really understand where you're coming from because I'm somebody who really kind of has my life together and I don't really need any motivational fucking books.
And when I'm reading Ryan Holiday shit, it's like I understand it's kind of aimed at a different audience in a lot of ways.
You read it, you motherfucker, you narcissistic fuck.
You read it so you could go, I do be doing all this.
I do be thinking of myself every day.
That's right.
And I do be grateful and shit.
I don't really know how this life works.
But there was a time period in my life where I straight up needed to hear that kind of shit.
And I'm also going to say, like, his new book is called The Stillness.
Yeah, we had him on.
And a lot of it is sort of emphasizing, like, you know, you don't need to be on Twitter 24-7.
Think about like what you actually allocate time and your brain towards.
And I mean, even as much as that is a fucking dead horse that's kind of being beaten, it's like, it is still a point that needs to be made because even the most basic, like, positive advice, we still kind of need it, no matter how completely blackened our souls are.
You are, you're like, if Ryan Holliday is the angel on the shoulder, and then you're the fucking devil of the world.
I think he just.
Yeah, I was about to say, I'll think of Super Darkness.
He just has an extreme skepticism on every single thing.
I get that.
I'm very similar.
I am required personally.
Yeah, we tend to read.
Whatever you're saying.
They got to question everything.
Everything that's like the status.
Modern days of Socrates.
Like, I had that, like, I was talking to that Weinstein guy, you know, Eric Weinstein.
Politician Roast Battles00:03:33
Awesome.
And he got the Weinstein.
No, I said, I know what I'm saying.
I was talking about that Weinstein guy.
He was auditing.
How to do auditions.
And I had a completely different perspective on how to do it.
No, so I was talking to him, and like, he got upset at me because I was like teasing him on the fighter and the kid.
But yeah, but it was like, I just love these guys.
I find them so funny.
These like free speech guys, these guys who like, like, it's all about free speech and freedom of ideas and all this kind of stuff.
But they're like very specific with the ideas that are supposed to be free.
And then I research all these guys and they all have some like billionaire backer who really tells them what the fuck to say.
And it's like, you don't have free speech.
You think Eric got one of them?
Peter Thiel.
That's daddy.
Yes, bro.
I got to look into that.
I didn't know that.
Come on, dude.
You think you really get paid to think?
This shit ain't wrong.
I mean, you think right now?
We paying Britain.
I'm saying it.
Blue Chew.com.
We're selling bonus, dog.
No, this one's a line right now.
Come on, do a line of blue chew.
Yo, but you need that for your fucking sex drive.
My dick name diesel.
No, but that's the thing that drives me insane about like, as a person who's always just been sort of paying attention to like BMA, skateboarding, music, online, that was my main thing.
I always was kind of like, you know, sort of interested in politics, but never like fully got reading CNN.com every day or whatever.
But now, I mean, sort of the whole Trump thing has sort of thrust us all into the political spectrum.
And now I pay a lot more attention to like independent sort of like, you know, political pundits on YouTube and stuff like that.
And I kind of like always assumed in my mind that like the level of discourse would be a lot higher than it is in hip-hop and stuff in terms of like intelligence and stuff.
I really do not find that at all because to be honest, like so many of these YouTube dudes who just talk about politics make fucking videos every day talking about the exact same shit and how the Democrats are fucking the internet.
You understand when you're talking to hip-hop people, you're typically, you especially are interviewing people who are successful at a thing.
When you're talking to political pundits, you're talking to critics who have never made a thing.
They're just watching and having an opinion and calling themselves a pundit on YouTube where there's no need for any, I'm a pundit on where the fuck I want to be on YouTube.
The people I know who like write about music are like a million times more interesting than like anyone that I know who talks about politics.
It's just such a boring fucking conversation.
For the average person, they're just like incentivized to make videos over and over and over saying the same shit.
I would guess the level of discourse intelligence-wise has plummeted since Trump got in office.
Because now all you got to do is say, oh, he's so hateful.
How can he say this?
Oh, he's the guy that speaks for us on both sides.
It's just the dumbest people saying the most obvious things.
It's obvious.
Yeah, it's awful.
Yeah, but you got to admit the way the politicians talk to each other now is kind of lit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They are going in.
Like, it's bars.
In a lot of ways, he's a lot of people.
The only way politics looks a lot more entertaining.
Way more entertaining.
Dude, somebody said, like, the way we're going to decide a president this year, next year, is like, whoa, roast battle.
Yeah, roast battle.
Like, whatever has like the best Twitter clapbacks and shit.
Like, I'm not going to sit through two hours of a debate with Kamala Harris makes fun of Trump.
Like, oh, shit.
That's what we want.
I'm waiting for when he calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas to her face.
Yo, that's Warren for me.
That's not Elizabeth Warren.
That's Warren G. That's Warren G?
That's Warren G.
I want him to show up to the debate with the same amount of necklaces and shells that the colonizers gave the Native Americans from Manhattan.
Presidential Twitter Clapbacks00:15:11
And that's the shit that fucks me up because it's like...
Just gives her a feather.
You can't play his game, bro.
But they try to.
That's what I'm saying.
You're trying to outline insult motherfuckers.
Did you see Trump?
I think Lauren could get in there better than the rest of us.
But did you see what?
Yo, so she had an interesting thing.
That's so low with it.
That I got.
He'll cook.
Nah, nah, he's not getting anything.
You think right now with this whole China ordeal?
No, Andrea ain't cooking nothing.
You think right now with this whole China ordeal, we're ready for Andrew Yang to be president?
That's a good point.
China bodying the NBA, China body in LeBron, trying to body in all of our heroes.
That's something we could talk about.
Yo, real talk.
F.A. said something real funny.
Was like, he was like, I bet you the most searched porn topic is like Chinese on black.
Probably doesn't make sure that he is.
I never see this, to be honest.
If I walk outside, I'm on black, an Asian dude holding hands with a black chick.
Don't you think that we would all be like, oh, yeah, every time that's what sensei, bro?
Damn.
Braun had a rough week.
No, we're not.
We're not going to talk.
We'll talk about it.
We'll talk about that later with people who know about sports.
So we have a oh, no, we come hard at Bronnie.
But that's his.
You can't just NBA chill.
Oh, no.
Nah.
We go hard.
We go very hard.
But it's just one of those discussions where since you don't give a fuck about basketball, it doesn't matter.
No, you're right.
And I'd rather talk to you about this pornography thing that you do because you're in pornography.
We just had Jessa Rhodes on last week.
Do you know her?
I do.
Yeah.
She's like.
Yo, she's very cool.
I don't know her people, but I've seen her.
I haven't seen much work.
I still haven't seen the work.
Is she very good?
I think she's how is she rated amongst the porn community?
I don't know about her rating, but I think she's well respected in the field.
She's an artist?
A lot of these girls really do take a lot of pride in their fucking like that.
They should.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
They absolutely should.
They're super competitive with it.
And I'll hear them talk about other girls and be like, oh, I can't believe she got this award.
She doesn't even know how to fuck.
Okay, question.
I need you to shed some light on this situation.
We had a porn star on here named Sylvia Sage, right?
She spoke about another porn star on a podcast and said that porn star had kids.
Okay.
I'm not going to mention her name.
That porn star reaches out to me and I get this long DM.
Like, you know, she mistakenly said that I had kids.
How could she do this?
You know, like, you don't understand the people that follow us.
They could put my kids in danger.
Can you please edit the podcast and get that out of here?
You know, I hope that you put my kids' safety in front of your thirst for clicks or views or whatever.
I write back, hey, absolutely.
No, Fuckers.
I was going through my head just responding like, nah.
Like, you're right.
I do need these clicks.
So I write back, I go, because I had a little theory, right?
I write back, I go, hey, absolutely.
Tell me what times in the podcast you would like taken down, and I'll do it right away.
She sees the DM, never writes back.
I knew if she had to do even the tiniest bit of work to protect her kids, whatever bullshit fucking reason that she gave, that she wasn't going to do it.
Never heard back from her again.
My theory is it had nothing to do with her kid's safety.
It's that she doesn't want her fans knowing that she has kids because let's be honest, nobody's, no one's like, I want the porn star with a family.
I want a monster who's breastfed and squeezed babies out.
The fans like the idea of the girl just being a total hoe, but I mean, at the same time, I know girls, you ever seen Britanya 187 on Instagram?
Yes, she got the stupid fatty, but she's been with the same guy for 10 years, and she's got two kids.
And it's so crazy because she has the hoeiest Instagram I've ever seen.
It's wild.
And then she'll just be like walking around a resort with her kids.
Amber Rose.
It's interesting because to me, I almost feel like my, like, it's weird.
Like, maybe you should have two different Instagrams for that.
But I respect the fact that she actually just rocks with it on both ends, you know?
But I mean, this girl also like ate a cum hot dog on a private snap.
Yeah.
You know, if that's side by side with the kids, I'm not going to be able to do that.
That's why.
Hold on, hold on.
If you had to eat cum, Wouldn't you prefer it to be mixed with a hot dog instead of just take it straight to your mouth and swallow?
What about a Caesar side salad where you don't really know?
You don't really know.
I like how you made a side salads like the small portion of the shit.
I thought I threw him as a big ass sandwich, yo.
I feel like if you had a banana split sitting right here and I nutting in it, you would not know.
I would not know.
Because it's so good that you just restore us.
You never see Waiting?
Remember that movie, Waiting?
Dude, there's no way a cook is whacking off into food.
Because that takes a few minutes.
And you're in public, there's like waiters coming in.
Like, where's my mother?
Some motherfuckers are warmed up already.
I don't think it happens that often.
No, I don't know.
I feel like you would have joked.
But I feel like, you know, if I jerked off on that cliff bar, you'd know that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Honestly, I might not.
You've earned it.
Honestly, I have my mother.
It looks jerked off on already.
It's glazed.
Give it a shot.
Look, my point is, there's probably something else going on that she cared about.
She gave me this whole fucking sob story about her kids to guilt me into it.
But if she really cared about her kids, wouldn't she look at the podcast and looked at the Times?
That's crazy to me.
Right?
She just didn't even take the extra effort.
You make it out like it's such a big deal.
You know her, by the way.
For real?
But don't say.
But you know her, and you could probably put it together.
Kids.
Damn, I don't even remember.
I don't remember either.
We'll talk after because I don't want to give any more shine.
They probably don't tell me they got kids either.
Oh, so you might not know.
I don't know.
I probably know.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
So your girl does all this private Snapchat shit.
She lets you fuck other people, right?
Here's the thing.
You guys fuck people together.
She's into it.
Doesn't that take away some of the fun?
Like, way to ruin a threesome, you being all willing and like getting equal value out of this as me.
Wouldn't you rather her like reluctantly eat the pussy and it's just something that you get to do, not her like completely ignore you while she's eating the girl's pussy?
Listen, we've done threesomes.
Yeah, She got to eat pussy with her fucking, with her, with her nose pitched and just the tip of her tongue.
Like that, like she's testing if a battery got juice.
That would be hot.
Like that little kid with the pole that his tongue gets stuck on.
What is that?
Christmas Carol or some shit?
Christmas story.
Christmas story.
Doesn't it fuck it up a little bit?
But listen, I've done threesomes with her where she was like maybe not that excited about it.
I was just kind of like, oh, go hook up with her or whatever.
It's not really worth doing it unless the girl's like sincerely excited about it.
Because if they're sort of like reluctantly doing it, it's just not like the kind of thing.
It's not going to work.
Not the kind of thing you want to do reluctantly.
Yeah.
Never want to have sex reluctantly.
No.
That's never fun.
Yeah, yeah.
If you're not 100% sold on the idea, for sure, yeah.
Adam with some bars.
It's the kind of thing where you just fuck girls who are reluctant.
Like if the other girls literally make them jokes.
Did you read that in Brian Holliday's latest book?
No, but the thing for me is that it's like my girl will do it since she can tell I want to do it, but just she'll just do it because she's just mad.
She's doing it for you.
Yeah.
Like how we fuck our girls.
That's not really great.
Y'all really need some dick again.
Didn't we just fuck?
Didn't we?
This is how I always feel.
Didn't we just fuck?
We just fucked.
Didn't we?
How the hell could you fuck?
Like, I'll be honest, if when I was younger, I would have envied your sexual lifestyle.
That shit gives me crippling anxiety.
Last week when you're talking about it, he told me once a week.
Now I'm up to two, bro.
Shouts a blue choice.
Yo, boy.
Blue choose double your sexual appetite.
Go!
Yo, Andrew's so busy, he probably makes sure he does both in one night.
He's like, I gotta.
I'm gonna knock this out.
It's Monday.
Monday's for dick.
You never nut twice in a night?
Nah, nah.
For sure.
Nah, nah, nah.
I know I'm mad.
That's stupid.
Why?
Because I just nutted.
Yeah.
That's end of story.
Did she nut?
He nuts.
It don't matter, bro.
That's her job, really.
I really do feel like if she doesn't nut, yeah, you have a gripe.
But if I nutted, right?
And you nutted, what's the deal?
What are we trying to achieve?
What is going on?
We're trying to set personal records out here?
But what?
It's like saying that you can only have so much fun, though.
And I totally understand.
Let me ask you a question.
I can't only have so much fun.
You just have dinner, right?
And then you're like, your girl's like, let's go have dinner again.
What are you going to say?
Honestly, I have to space the intercourse out around my meals and my weed smoking because I don't really want to be dumb high.
Maybe I do.
Or bloated and full.
Definitely that.
Definitely don't want to be full.
Bloated and full.
It's just not.
Hunger fucks are the best.
How old are you?
35.
No, your girl.
How old are you?
She's 28, but I'm 35.
It's just crazy this life that we fucking carved out for ourselves.
I just heard a 35-year-old man be like, I have to space my intercourse around meals and weeds.
Usually I'm like, I want to see how your whiteboard looks at home.
My dad heard that he jumped out a fucking window.
This is the field I entered.
You want to hear like the ultimate thing?
He had a 15-year-old son.
He had a mortgage.
He had 20 at 35.
He's thinking about college tuition.
I got to space out my pussy.
I'm really going to space it out.
Around weed and junk food.
I just realized I must have left out my mom about this entire conversation.
The stress.
The stress levels.
That's why you okay getting a gun pulled on you.
You're like, I deserve this.
Probably thinking about Andrew saying he gets anxiety about fucking.
He's like, you don't.
No anxiety.
Yo, this is the thing.
I got to smoke weed later.
Like, I'm at work, like, chilling, like, on stream for like eight hours, smoking hellaweed.
And then I get home and my girl's been on cam for two hours, fingering herself and like getting all turned on.
She got her makeup done.
She got lingerie on.
And then I come home and I'm like a fucking just skeleton of a man.
I lay down.
She's all like, and I'm like, you know, I got to like just either force my way through or have this weird moment where I'm like, but hey, I was not ready for it.
That's the thing.
It's like when like soldiers came back from war back in the day in like World War II and like the second they get back, the wife's all horny.
It's like, all my friends died.
Like, can you not consider I have no fucking friends left anymore?
Yo, that's fucked up.
You come home from war and she's not going to let you fuck.
No, she is.
She wants to fuck.
A lot of what she wants to do.
But you're not trying to fuck because your friends are dead.
Oh, no.
I'm still trying to fuck.
He's true.
I got like a million friends that died.
I'm still fucking.
I'm not going to let that buy me.
It doesn't kill somebody.
That shit kills me too, though.
There was what's up.
I'm not going to say his name.
There's a rapper who I was supposed to do.
No, how soon after X died did you fuck?
It's like an hour.
That's the homie, but I'm not going to let him ruin my fucking life.
No, I'm just kidding.
It probably was at least a day or two.
I'm not lying.
There was this kid, though.
He didn't want that Dina Hitchhiker.
There was this.
He said he couldn't do the podcast a month after X died because X died.
I'm like, you never even met him.
You never even met him.
And like, we're like partying.
I'm like with his friends, like partying like a week later.
And like, we're talking about it still.
Like, man, that shit sucks.
But everything.
But it's like, your life keeps moving on.
And it's like, this kid is just a fan.
And he said he couldn't do the interview a month afterwards.
Can you say?
No.
I don't say his name because it's so fucking lame.
He's got to deny it.
Say it, though.
I've seen that shit.
It wasn't even him who said it.
It was his manager.
I'm like, so you told your manager that?
Or maybe his manager said it to get him out of it?
Yeah, that could be possible.
But at the end of the day, too, it's like an interview that if I did it, it's like, whatever, who cares?
So then drop that name, bro.
Nah.
All right, fine.
All right, fine.
Plus, those are the guys who get the most sensitive.
Because I feel bad for him that it's like he was that hurt by a rapper that he didn't even know dying.
It's kind of sad.
So I feel bad for him, though.
He's living in the power of now.
Yo, yeah, let's make it.
Let's do this promo code No Jumper 22 or something.
I don't know.
I forgot.
Flavor 2.
Does that part roll in?
There's got to be a point of diminishing returns with the sex life.
Oh, yeah.
Does it lose its fucking luster?
Like, I know it looks cool and everything like that.
And I'm sure the first few years it was fun.
But eventually, like, when you have the porn stars and shit come over and hang out, like, after you guys fuck, you guys got to like talk and shit a little bit.
That's why I got the girl there.
So she does all the talking for you.
Philby's here.
Lenna's smart.
Lenna's smart and she's interesting.
And I've enjoyed my interactions with Lenna.
I appreciate that.
How could she?
A lot of people don't give her the benefit of the doubt that she has something going on upstairs.
Of course, because they just graduated college, unlike myself.
Oh, damn.
Oh, bro.
Damn, we got a smart one.
That's what's up.
Damn, wait a waste of a degree.
She could have been on camp in college.
She wasted four years of her prime, son.
What the fuck?
She's Shane Badier out here?
She went to school for like a year.
She was like child nurturing her.
She went from barely legal to very legal.
That's the whole thing.
But like, her job.
She wouldn't even be able to use it now because it's like to work with kids and shit.
What was her?
Oh, she was going to be a teacher.
She had to deal with autistic kids and shit like that.
Well, now she gets to talk to porn stars.
And she got it on so this is autistic adults.
Wait a minute.
You don't think you're Asperger's.
No, but she's like, she thinks I have like that I'm autistic.
Asperger's is like the light autism.
It's like Coke Zero of this.
No, it's Coke Zero.
It's the next level of Mark Zuckerberg shit.
Yeah.
No, no, it's under.
Autism is worse.
Asperger's is functional.
Well, I'm on the spectrum.
That's all I'm saying.
You really think?
No.
I don't know.
I got a weird time relating to other human beings.
I feel like I definitely got a weird divide between my ability to communicate with people.
I don't know.
I got to look into them.
You literally, you can't be socially awkward.
Yeah, what happened to socially awkward?
Yeah, what is that?
I think that's a lot of me Asperger's.
I think I lack empathy.
Like, I think if I saw somebody get hit by a car and die, that is just, I'm not even going to be thinking about it.
You'd be busy jerking off trying to find out what's going on.
You literally just talked about somebody died and fucking like an hour later.
Asperger's Functional Autism00:04:08
Like, I think, I think it's all right.
That's my favorite thing, like, back when Facebook was popping.
I guess you see it a little bit with Instagram.
Was I would see how long people would put the dead person's picture as their Avvi.
And I would time how long it took for them to not give a fuck about that person anymore.
Yeah.
Like, it was just, it was so beautiful because you have to make a decision.
What's the acceptable time limit on that?
No, time to do that with the stand with.
Like, the flag, the rainbow flag, Abby.
Yeah.
How do you give a fuck about that?
New Rick Ross album cover.
I think me and everybody else at MMG will make that our profile photo.
No, I'm just kidding.
I hate when rappers do that.
But all their friends do it too.
It's still mad people to have like the thug album cover for their purchase, their picture, because they like hung out with the Wale album.
That's my thing.
Yeah, that's one of my best lit.
But that's his boy.
He loves it.
I was seen him the other day.
He goes, you're my, hey, how's my favorite asshole doing?
I'm like, damn, I'm like, you're an asshole.
So I should appreciate it.
Wait, why is Wale an asshole?
Tell us some good shit.
Not even like, I think he's an asshole.
He's just kind of, you know, he's got a fucking personality that I'm sure a lot of people will call him an asshole.
So him saying that to me, I was like, damn, that's what I'm saying.
Is he a cool?
No, I think Wally's a well, Wale gets a bad rap, honestly, for being like just because he's always kind of been the sort of dude who would just like rant about being underappreciated on Twitter and like that sort of thing that's like kind of like going to make you not seem as likable, I feel like.
But I think that actually, to be real, I feel like people don't even look at Wally like an unlikable dude anymore.
I think that that narrative's kind of changed for him.
Well, once he went to the story on him, no, he's not indie.
I thought he got dropped.
Nah, I mean, he left.
He dropped, he got dropped from Atlantic.
He's on Warner now.
And yeah, no, I think.
He should go indie, dude.
Indy, because then it would be justified to complaining.
But I think when you have a big label and you have records and do those things.
I'm not saying it is good, but in terms of perspective, you could bitch if you have nothing.
But if you have everything that everybody has ever dreamed about and you're bitching, it's like, man, shut up.
I mean, it's weird, though.
Like, for certain artists, I would never take that.
It's a lot of work.
It's a lot of fucking effort.
Especially if you've already made it.
If you've already kind of seen this level of success.
If you come into game Indy and you stay Indy, cool.
That's good.
Like that works for some people.
But if you've already had a certain level of success, do you really want to go back to square one?
Not even at square one, you're like at square negative five.
Yeah.
You got to like do all this extra shit because a label doesn't have your help.
But no, I mean, good for him, man.
He's doing well.
I'm supposed to have his crown right now, actually, with Elliot.
Oh, he's doing that.
Yeah.
Adam, we don't want to take up all your time.
Oh, no, that's perfectly fine.
Okay, then we will.
We'll take up every single bit of your time.
The latest book that you're reading.
Oh, yeah.
That Ryan Holiday book.
You are still reading it?
Yeah, I'm like halfway done.
But besides that, oh, dude, I read that fucking new Malcolm Gladwell book that I bought at the fucking airport because it was the only thing in the whole airport.
It's kind of like a basic bitch thing to read.
But I bought it just because it was the only thing in the airport.
It wasn't like a full Hudson news.
It was like a sliver of books.
What's this one about again?
I don't be fucking wrong.
A bunch of stupid shit that he could sort of string together and make a theme out of.
It's just a lot of theories that he pawns off as like facts without that much data.
You say how Adam's critical of authors now?
I mean, he don't want to look like a bitch, don't he?
He's a guy you shitted on.
I'm more enthusiastic about Ryan Holiday than Malcolm.
But I mean, I do think that he's dope.
He's Gucci Man's favorite author.
So it's like, whatever you read that Malcolm writes, you love Gucci.
I do.
That's my Gucci.
I fuck with Malcolm.
I really like Malcolm.
You do.
We had him on the podcast.
I thought he was genuinely intelligent.
As a dude, I know he seems tight.
Right guys.
In terms of his books, he knows what he's doing.
He's like a stretch about some shit.
I don't know.
No, he knows what he's doing.
And we asked him this.
We were like, you know, I was like, how much of what you say is wrong eventually?
Right.
And he goes, yeah, some of it.
Like, we find out new research.
We find out new things.
This is not the end-all-be-all.
This is just what we put together and put in the book.
That's really cool.
And the fact that he was honest about it.
He doesn't know everything.
Yeah, but when you write a book, you're basically saying, I know everything about this.
Gucci Mane Malcolm Books00:15:21
I think what annoys me is actually the people who accept it as fact right away.
It's not him.
Like 10,000 hours.
Everybody's like, you got to get you 10,000 out.
Why is that a thing?
Because he read it in one chapter of one book.
It's a fucking retard.
It's four pages.
He came up with a thing that he could say that would actually get people excited about the idea of just working really hard at something for a really long time, which is not a camera.
I don't know.
But he actually branded it in a way that you said the 10,000 hour thing, and everybody here knows what exactly is.
It's branding.
He's got a great job with the branding.
But that's the thing.
Branding works so well with these tiny little tidbits of information.
This girl was saying to me today on a podcast that the body is 70% water.
She just says, she's like, yeah, you know, your body's 70% of water.
I'm like, get the fuck out of here.
It's like 5% water.
What could be 70% water in my body?
What the fuck?
When you're walking around, what is it?
Well, your body is like.
No, it's not.
Listen, blood has water in it, but blood is not water.
Your skin probably's got some water in it, but it's not water.
So, liquid.
So, liquid is different, and even then, my bones make up way more.
Son, that's the thing that people believe.
It's like the fact that there's 63%.
Honestly, 10% tops.
I'm in that.
I'm in that wholeheartedly.
The other thing, that there's the male G-spot is in the asshole.
Complete myth.
It's a myth.
Absolutely good on that.
But everybody says this.
They're like, the male G-spot's in the asshole.
No, gay guys made that shit up so they can stick fingers in your fucking ass.
Girls made it up so they could finger you in your ass and kind of like emasculate.
Wage gap is a myth.
I mean, yeah.
We all know that.
But I asked this doctor about it, and I was like, yo, be honest with me.
Pre-come is a myth.
But I was like, be honest with me.
Is the finger in the ass thing real?
Like, can you touch the fucking, I don't know.
Prostate the prostate.
Can you touch the prostate?
Why then you prostate the G-spot, son?
He goes, no, there's just some prostate juice that comes out of your dick.
It's not an orgasm or anything.
There's no even sperm in it.
It's a complete fucking lie.
And then he goes, some people like getting fingered in their ass, and maybe that helps them come, but it's not a button that you press.
I'm like, of course it's not.
People just, it's a 10,000 hours thing.
They just make this shit up.
It sounds good to share with your friends.
It's like how when anyone says, like, oh, this is how you make a girl orgasm.
It's every fucking girl is completely different in how they orgasm, and there's no way you could break it down that simple.
Right.
You just tell them to hold their breath forever.
And then when they go, oh, it's like, that felt good, right?
That's an orgasm.
That first breath where you didn't die.
When you're holding your piss for an hour and a half on the highway or some shit and then you finally piss, that's way better than anything.
I always god level mouth.
Ain't nothing better than 35-year-olds talking about how sexy.
Sexation.
This is such a watch.
Hell no, no.
A well-timed bathroom break.
Yo, you want to, can I give y'all a little secret that's kind of disgusting about me?
I kind of like it when someone shits in the toilet before me.
Wow.
So all right.
That was different.
Because I like the warmth.
I like the warmth, and I like the fact that the toilet seat is probably cleaned already.
So now I just got to do a little one-time.
Oh, it's all on his ass.
You assume that they're cleaning it up because it was me or not.
No, exactly.
I'm not cleaning that.
I'm sitting down.
The button can't absorb it.
It's not like your butt is water or anything like that.
Your butt is just going to move it.
First off, you're not going to know if the seat's warm until you're already sitting on it.
Yeah, but I could smell the aroma and my shit was just left in it.
I was like, fucking replacement.
When you walk into the bathroom, it smells like somebody else's shit like that.
What happened to me today?
Words of party won the wiper right here.
I made eye contact with the guy who took the shit before me.
It was actually my waiter.
I made eye contact with him.
I saw, I hope.
I didn't check.
But I went and I took that shit immediately after.
And I'm okay with that.
You don't have a bidet.
You never took shifts in Japan where the toilet seats are warm?
I didn't use the bidet.
But the toilet seats are warm.
I want the warm toilet seat for sure.
Dude, the other day I go to the use the bathroom in the hallway outside my office and it's like there's a bunch of other companies around there.
So it's like all these different companies usually stay in two bathrooms.
And all the time I will bust out of my office and just walk right up and just fucking open the handle.
But then once in a while it's locked.
So it's like, oh, and then it feels weird that you just like tried to open it that hard.
Like you try to bust in on the person.
The other day I had it happen for the first time where I just walked in.
Boom.
It wasn't locked.
Opened it right up.
Fucking dude just sitting there.
Just this white dude with his white dick.
And I'm just like, turn right the fuck around.
It's just like, I smelled his shit.
I saw his dick.
I saw his shit.
Yeah, dog.
That's better than sex.
That's better than a long held test.
How was your sex drive after that?
Turned up a notch?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck my girl for three hours on your home off that ginger cock.
Will you let these girls put anything in your asshole?
Not anything in, but the other day I got my ass laked by my girl and another girl, and it got like three million views on Twitter in a couple days.
Wait a minute, the video was on Twitter?
The fuck just happened?
I said to him, like, I got home, like, it was in my calendar, like, you have to fuck me and this other girl, like, this day or whatever.
So I show up.
As it should be.
I show up.
Because you would forget that.
And we're all just hanging out.
You have to pick up an icon.
And then I won't even slip your mouth off because it's like, I'm doing interviews.
It's like, for me to come home, you have like some 30-minute reminder, like, oh, don't forget.
I'm not going to forget to interview this 16-year-old with a face tattoo.
But these two bitches don't want to fuck me.
I'm sitting in my car listening to like a New York Times podcast.
Like rush hour traffic.
Like, wait for the threesome.
But then I got in the house and like the other girl, I just ended up joking around with her.
I'm like, yo, you guys want to go viral?
You should both eat my ass.
And then film with their iPhone and put it on Twitter.
And they just were like, oh, great.
Let's do it.
And they did it.
Man, you know the fader?
You got to know if you suggest they blocked you because of that.
Well, it was the day it came out, so I got to assume that was it.
That was important.
I'm like, damn, that's one of the most relevant musical magazine print things.
And they blocked me because I'm an assymmet.
Word to the wise buddy.
If you suggest to a porn star, hey, you should tape this sexual thing, they're probably not going to think it's a joke.
Like, if I did joke to you, it wasn't a joke to me.
Well, to them is business.
I didn't really want to get my assy.
Who's the porn star?
It was my girl and this chick, Emily Willis.
Emily Willis.
Okay.
Want to pull that up, Alec?
She was pretty good.
That was a butt eater.
I could say that she wasn't.
Now, do you let them penetrate?
No.
Do you wet wipe before?
Nah.
So you just go straight from LA traffic.
Rush hour traffic.
Rush hour traffic ass.
Nuggets in the mouth.
And then right there.
One time, this really famous porn star ate my ass in a threesome with my girl.
And I had just been taking a gnarly diarrhea shit 15 minutes before, drinking all day, that kind of shit.
This her?
This is our third from the other day.
I got a little bit disgusted by that.
So she Asian?
Asian-ish?
She does look Asian-y.
She wrote herds on her breath.
But you know what's so funny, too?
Is that she's like kind of seeing my homie who's like also a YouTuber, and she like just straight up like went over his crib right after she filmed the assy video and kicking it with this dude that I'm like legitimately friends with.
And what's even worse is that throughout that day, earlier that day, she'd been getting piped by some fucking athlete on camera for a porn.
Really?
So these girls like completely compartmentalize sex.
Like sex means nothing to them.
It's no different than shaking hands or something like that.
I mean, I think that she was fucking around with me for content.
She was getting fucked on set for content and then she was kicking it with my homie afterwards because she likes them.
But the fact that she could do all those things.
It's because she breaks it up.
Right, because the sex is sex is whatever if you are just doing it because you're filming yourself or whatever.
Like it feels very different when you're like fucking with like a camera there and stuff in the sense that it's not like if you somehow had the luckiest night of your fucking life, it's not going to happen.
But if you came home with two girls from the bar and you actually fucked, I'm just kidding.
I'm sure you do all the time.
But if you like came home and you actually had like the vibe going where they really wanted to fuck you, that's like a very like passion-driven, crazy, emotional, carnal thing.
Yeah.
When you're just like all like meeting up and it's in the Google calendar and you're like setting up lights and then you're all fucking and stuff, it feels great, but it's not like.
Can you have to take a pill for that if it's scheduled?
Be honest.
No.
But I mean, you don't just take a pill anyway?
I just experimented with bluechew.com.
Yeah.
But no, I don't do it.
Even the lights are up, the cameras, and you know you're performing.
You don't want.
No, I mean, I have a hard time not coming too fast because I'll just be like sawing away at one of them for like a minute or two, and all of a sudden I'm like, I got a nut.
And then I'm like, hold on, huh, like blowing on it.
Got to let it like cool off a little.
I'll try to do a pre-game.
I'll try to like jerk off like in the shower at the gym at noon so that I'll be like, bro.
Looks like I got this W tonight.
Really?
If you're going to fuck some random hot chick, you got to, you got to.
I don't clear the chamber.
You don't?
No.
Damn, you're a different man than me.
No, I just let her go on top.
I mean, I got a girl now, but I just let her go on top.
And then I just, I work on my breathing.
You know what I mean?
I don't let her bounce on it.
She just got to rock on it.
There are certain things I can control myself.
No bounce, just rock.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bounce will get me to nuts.
A slow long stroke.
That's when.
Wait, when you're on top?
No, if I'm on top.
Yeah.
If I'm on top, a slow, long stroke.
Yeah.
45 seconds to admit it.
I'm tapping.
But anything else, I could go for whatever.
Like flip it, turn it, whatever from the back.
Anything.
But if it's a slow, long joint, I'm not last.
You want to know one thing that's really weird that I noticed about sex?
I can last way longer in the butthole.
Yeah, because it doesn't feel good.
Well, because the butthole is a thing, and then it's sort of like an open, like, it's a football.
My girl's pussy is like tight on the whole thing.
Because it's made for dicks.
That girl we were just looking at when me and my girl did an anal threesome with her for the camera before we did the vaginal threesome.
And to be honest, like I was fucking like a pro and I didn't really.
And I think it's because it was all butt.
Yeah, it's not even close to the amount of friction.
Dude, butt stuff sucks.
I'll be honest with you.
It really sucks.
I got to fuck my girl's butt soon.
I'll fucking over one.
She's been telling me.
She really wants that, dude?
Yeah, she's pissed that I ain't done it in a while.
I'm in awe of this guy's life.
Literally just doesn't.
Are you envious of me?
It just doesn't make sense to me.
I'm just blown away that this world existed.
Like, America really is the land opportunity.
This is why your family came to rock us.
Talk, man.
Don't waste this opportunity.
Don't waste their dream, dude.
You think your dad came here so you could work for a living?
Just sweat stuff, bro.
And sleep, dude.
Oh, my God.
That's crazy.
Sleep.
No, that's the best.
You know, like, think about every time in your life, you've ever fucked a girl that you don't really give a fuck about.
Yeah.
And then you got to act for like an hour or two hours, however long, until she leaves your home.
Yes.
Like, when me and my girl have a girl over, like, there's no pretense that I have to do that.
Like, I am rolling a blunt and watching a YouTube video within like five minutes of the intercourse, and they ain't saying shit to me.
They're ignoring me.
They're having like a regular girl conversation.
They're talking about makeup and what they're going to do the next day.
Lena doesn't care.
She's faking too.
There's no way she's like inspired by those combos.
Yeah, probably.
I mean, you got to bring yourself down a notch from time to time, probably.
Because, I mean, she's doing porn with fucking 18-year-old chicks sometimes.
Yeah.
She's way smarter than talking motherfuckers.
I mean, she's 28.
There's got to be like a different level of communication at a certain point.
I think that's almost kind of.
That's why the R. Kelly shit pisses me off so much.
Why?
When she's like, remember, he's like, oh, yeah, you don't have teenage friends.
What conversation could you have with a 17-year-old dad?
I don't get that at all.
It's all fucking entertaining or beneficial to you.
That's what this guy does for a living.
No, I'm kicking it with like a bad thing.
That's like being a therapist.
Doing the interviews, like being a therapist.
You got to like come together.
What are your dreams and aspirations?
How did that make you feel?
But I can't, like, when I hang out with like a 21-year-old chick, and I'm just like, I can't do this.
You never watch Seinfeld?
Like, I'm sorry.
I'm just, I can't.
Like, I don't know.
Yeah, that's what Aziz went through, too.
That's what he put on.
Damn.
In that situation?
Dude, that was the moment that I liked Aziz more than any moment in his entire career.
Is that he was getting had to Seinfeld?
You know, I really relate to that because I love when there's a good sitcom on while I'm fucking.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I love the office.
And, like, the other day, me and my girl ended up fucking in the office was playing.
It's the perfect thing to occupy the part of my brain that kind of gets bored when you're fucking.
Real Al, that's you.
I have like Seinfeld, Office, any of those shows, and I know all the episodes.
So it's like, I'm just going through the episode while you're just time yourself.
Oh, yeah.
You're getting 22 minutes of this dick, man.
Commercial break.
No, that's really smart.
Exactly.
Because a lot of times you're fucking and you might feel like it's been a half hour, but it's been seven.
No, it's only the second commercial break.
There's at least 22 minutes.
You got to put the come and commercial, guys.
Just play it in my headphones.
You won't even know.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
I feel like there's this.
I don't know.
Sometimes when I talk to porn stars about sex, I'm like, yeah, you had some maybe fucked up shit happen in your life.
And we've all had fucked up shit happen in our life.
But I feel like they're almost like downplaying the importance of sex because it downplays the trauma of the experience that they had in their past.
Oh, shit.
That's bars, yo.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, like if you were raped, right?
And like, you got to take the power away from it.
You take the power away from it by just using that shit man casually.
They-worded the fucking dick, dude.
Wow.
I usually don't go there when I'm interviewing porn stars of like fully getting into the childhood trend.
I'm going to be honest.
We've interviewed three porn stars.
I saw three of them.
Yeah.
And I feel like it makes a really dynamic part of the interview because we could talk the fuck shit forever.
That's easy.
But like when you go from why they cut themselves to how to birdbaff, what is it called?
Bird feed.
Or docking.
Do you know what docking is?
Yeah, I dock.
What?
No, I'm just kidding.
I know what it is, though.
Such.
Such.
Oh, my God.
That's the most disturbing thing you said in the podcast.
Are you sure you know what it is?
Out of everything.
Yeah, dude.
Wow.
Demonetized.
I got one with that me and you did demonetize.
I think it was the first time that I ever got a podcast demonetized because we talked about T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-M.
What terrorism is?
Terrorism.
Porn Star Childhood Trends00:02:20
Terrorism, man.
Really?
You can't even talk about terrorism?
Dude, I feel like that's like the number one thing that will get you on YouTube.
Is that right?
They can tell that you're talking about that shit in the script.
Get the fuck out of here.
Really?
Anyway, look, Adam, thank you so much for coming by.
Man.
Please tell the people where they can find you, where they can see you.
Nojumper.com and Adam22 on social media.
I just want to say that I did an interview with Combat Jack in here many years ago.
And then I just remember that he was eating a salad, like grazing on a salad throughout the entire interview.
And I had never eaten a salad like that.
And that kind of like made me realize, oh, you don't have to just rush through a salad.
That was your takeaway.
Combat Jack touched many lives.
That dude.
I'm not going to lie.
You might be autistic, bro.
I think you confirmed it for me right now.
That's a safe bet.
That's a safe bet.
Speak to another man for an hour, the only thing pick up is how he deals with lettuce.
That was just like the physical element that impressed me.
You're a strange man.
But you know what?
I had my assumptions about you before this, but I'm glad this happened.
Appreciate it.
It's better to see people in their eyes and see what they talk about before making assumptions.
You know what?
I follow Rory on Twitter now, so I've been wondering what the fuck emotional oranges sound like.
I'm probably going to go find out tonight.
I might have to go listen to that.
I've heard the name hundreds of times and never actually listened to it.
So very girl group.
No, it's a guy and a girl.
Oh, it's a guy and a girl.
Okay.
He manages them or what?
Yeah, he manages them.
Okay.
And they're doing well.
They call him himself, yo.
They're doing well.
They're on tour and shit.
I thought that's what he called himself.
I know it was.
That's not even a shot.
I swear.
I thought that was the nickname for himself.
When he says a guy and a girl, watch the video.
I'm like, huh?
Oh, it's a group, but he manages.
Wow.
No, because that would be kind of, I mean, I don't know if he's emotional, but he got like one of the chairs.
Oh my god, man.
That is weird that it ended up.
The band name is kind of like descriptive of him.
I wonder if there's any other examples of that, you know?