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Sept. 13, 2019 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
06:40
Alexx Got A Tesla
# wet dreams ufc social justice warriors akash antonio brown bedroom dynamics christina aguilera consent legal penalties melissandra patreon sexual assault sleepwalking

Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Antonio Brown's spitting on Melissandra, debating if it warrants jail time like physical assault. They argue that bedroom dynamics operate under unique "rules of the bet," where implicit consent in another's bed permits various acts, contrasting public violations with private permissibility. The conversation shifts to wet dreams and frustration, jokingly suggesting Brown claim sleepwalking before meeting Christina Aguilera. Ultimately, the segment challenges societal double standards regarding sexual violence while promoting a Patreon episode for non-social justice warriors. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
The Penalty for Spitting 00:02:31
What's the penalty for coming on somebody?
Bank.
Son of an issue.
I don't know what she's asking for.
That shit is mad gross, baby.
It's mad gross, but like rape?
Nah.
Nah, but that shit gotta be close.
You know what I mean?
It's gotta be close, babe.
You know the way he's sitting.
It's like, yeah, it's kind of gross, but...
Rape?
It's not rape, but it's gotta be.
Nah.
Come on.
You getting time for just a little bit of time.
How many times have you been in a room?
You ain't getting time for a little cock.
I'm even like when birds poop.
Like, if bird poop hits me, that shit feels vulnerable.
I do feel violent.
It should be.
For doing all kinds of jackets.
I lock him up in an aquarium, make him gay.
That's what Rocky did to Melissandra or whatever that other bandwidth bitch.
I know Antonio Brown is quick, but goddamn.
How quick do you have to nut for you to not know somebody's about to nut on your back?
That's how I go to the same fucking room.
Like, I know the motherfucker is fast, but goddamn.
What's the penalty for that?
Yo, what part of the sermon do you think he came at?
Do you think he was holding?
You think he was just slow beating it, waiting for the right moment?
Yo, when people are catching the Holy Ghost, he caught his.
She caught his.
Because when they were receiving communion, it's like, and here is my body.
Yeah.
You think jail time?
Probably Hail Mary.
It's like, Hail Mary.
If we don't talk, it's like it's just so gross to me.
It's not even the sexual thing of it.
It's gross.
It's gross.
You shouldn't be able to spit on somebody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's gross, bro.
Like, spitting, you could go, you could, you could, don't go to jail for spitting on someone like that.
That's my point.
Yo, I think that spitting on someone should be no different than punching them.
Like, if you can go to jail for punching someone, then you can go to jail for spit.
That's at least gross, baby.
You're at least intentionally spitting.
Not like we're yelling at each other and spit comes out, but like a...
Yeah, so then where's the fine line?
Somebody's going to be like, oh, he was talking hard and he spit on purpose or some shit like that.
That's the law.
You could probably do it.
Say what?
Could you spit on a cop?
Nah.
Exactly.
There it is.
You probably shouldn't be able to spit on a person.
It depends who you ask.
I don't know.
They're paying their way out of spitting on a cop.
Yo, but you know what's so crazy is that like you would think they'll just pay their way out of nothing on the back too.
Yeah, you can.
But like with spit, it's like it's not only with spit, it's just like almost everything physical.
Rules of the Wet Bed 00:04:05
Like the more wrong it is to do to a person in life, the hotter it is to do to a woman in bed.
Like you can't spit on a stranger, but like if you see a girl's asshole and you don't immediately spit on it, something's wrong with that.
But by that logic, what did AB do that's so bad?
Ain't that like quite the turn off?
Right.
They in bed.
By your ass.
No, no, no.
I don't think they're in bed.
The way I imagine she was on the couch just watching a sermon and he like crept up behind her.
I imagine they're both in bed.
She like this, got her feet kicked up, you know, ankles crossed.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I thought it was his scenario.
Like, she's just watching TV and he just like surprised.
No, if you're in bed, you get cumbed on.
That's part of the bet.
Yeah.
That's part of the bet.
That's part of the bet.
That's part of the rules of bed.
Anything that happens between that like eight by eight.
Yo, that's the UFC ring.
That's the ring.
Everything's legal.
Everything's legal.
Except no knees while you're on the ground.
It's literally almost everything's legal.
Like if you were in the bed, you didn't get cumbed on.
Let's be honest.
Like you're already in my house.
Like I should be able to show you my dick in my house that 100% believe that.
100% agreed, right?
It's my house, my dick.
My house, my rules, right?
All right.
A week ago, you was on my bet.
Hey.
You could have.
Yeah.
Honestly.
Honestly, you had the right to come on me if you wanted, bro.
I couldn't have really put it this way.
I'm in his bed.
What am I doing in his bed if I'm not trying to get a cum to myself?
Real talk.
Who am I to say you can't come on your own bed?
Like, let's say this.
Let's say I'm in your bed, right?
Let's say I'm in your bed and then you had a wet dream and you bust off on me a little bit without even knowing.
That's my fault.
Your fault.
That's my fault.
That is your fault.
I'm through a lot of fire.
That's your fault.
Why are you not wearing pants in bed?
Is my question for you?
Sometimes you get in the middle of a wet dream, pull your dick out.
You never had a wet dream where you pull your dick out.
And then you start beating off in your dream.
Y'all never did that?
I've never had a wet dream.
Yeah, you wet sleep jerk.
You never had a wet sleep jerk?
Son, I never had a wet dream.
Me neither.
You never had a wet dream?
Nah, ever.
Oh, I be having wet dreams every once in a while.
You start to get pent up.
Nah, because I got a shorty, but when I don't have a shorty and if I'm not fucking, like, I'll get pent up because I don't jerk off.
You only get wet dreams when you don't jerk off.
Ah, I can see that.
So it's like cup runneth over.
Yeah, cup runneth over.
So busting off in a wet dream, bro.
That shit is lit.
That shit is a lit, bro.
That isn't like...
Then you wake up and you're like, why not fuck her?
Because it's not always the best looking bitch that you dream to.
You can't control your dream.
So like sometimes, like, I've pre-cumbered in my wet dreams before.
That's embarrassing.
That's seriously.
Yeah, it's like how you let yourself down.
Like, I almost fucked up.
Right?
I almost fucked Christina Aguilera.
And I was like, damn, did I just buzz in my pants before I fuck Christina Aguilera?
I'm scared at you with disappointment last year.
And it was back when dirty, dirty, hand off my body.
Man, that was good.
AB should just say he was sleepwalking.
Son, I wish I knew that's it.
First of all, she's in my house.
Yeah, sleepwalking.
I'm sleepwalking.
I'm a God-fearing man.
You know how much I love God?
This girl was watching sermons while I was asleep, so I had to give her some sermons.
Some pre-sermons.
I had to give her some pre-sermons, son.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2.
Join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior.
Then you're just going to ruin the fun.
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