Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh address the tragic loss of friend Kaz's baby before debating authenticity after Akash's failed Amsterdam promotion. They recount a disastrous $1,000 meal at Jiro's in Tokyo, contrasting it with Japan's high suicide rates and transactional culture. The conversation shifts to conspiracy theories regarding Jeffrey Epstein, alleging CIA and Mossad involvement in controlling elites like Bill Clinton through sexual blackmail. Finally, they mock poor national anthem renditions, promote their Patreon against Netflix's dominance, and announce upcoming tour dates and Eddie Murphy content. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Somber Note for Kaz00:05:21
What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis, my assholes, water cooler commentary for your sports needs.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh.
Kaz is not with us today.
We're going to get to that in one minute.
We got Alex Media.
We got Edin Martinez on the ones and twos.
We got to start the episode on a somber note today, guys.
There is no way to set this up.
There is no way to ever preface something like this.
So we're just going to go out and just say it right away.
Kaz and his girlfriend lost their baby.
Yeah, it is absolutely tragic.
You know, when life is lost, there's really nothing you can say.
There's nothing we can say at all.
These are the moments that I feel we earn our flagrancy.
And what I mean by that is, you know, we say all these wild things and we say these wild jokes and we go really push things to the limit.
And I believe we can say this because we know deep down that we're good people and we don't have any malice or hatred for people in the world.
And these are the moments where we show that we are good people, that we care, that we've got love for the people that are close to us, for our family, for our friends.
So I spoke to Kaz today and he said it was okay to share this news with you guys.
And, you know, why don't you reach out to Kaz if it's on Instagram, if it's on Twitter, if you know him personally, just reach out to him and just show him some love, man.
Let him know that you're thinking about him, you love him, that, you know, you just think he's a great guy and you miss him.
Obviously, Kaz is going to be away from the podcast for a little bit for as long as he needs.
And we got his back 100% no matter what.
But yeah, just go show him some love, man.
I'm sure he needs some love.
And, you know, I'm sure his girl needs some love.
Just give him some good best wishes that you possibly can from the bottom of your heart, man.
And this is, like I said, this is where we earn it.
This is where we showed it.
You know, we are the good people.
We are strong people.
We are caring people.
And that's the reason why we can make these horribly fucked up jokes is because deep down when shit hits the fan, we're there for each other.
So go and really show him what the asshole army is about and show some real love, man.
Show some real life.
He deserves it right now.
And yeah.
And then when he's ready, he'll be back.
And, you know, I'm sure he'll give some perspective on this crazy experience.
I bet there's people listening right now who have gone through horribly tragic things like this.
I won't share too many details about the situation.
One, because I don't know that much about the science, I guess, about it.
But yeah, it's fucked up.
It's sad.
We debated whether putting this at the beginning of the episode or at the end of the episode.
We weren't exactly sure.
But then we just said, fuck it.
We don't want to divert from what we've always done, which is meet things head on on this podcast, whether it's with jokes, whether it's with something serious.
We want to just go right for it.
And, you know, we've got, I think, a great episode coming up today.
We got a special guest that's going to call in later, Tim Dylan, hilarious comedian.
And he's going to break down the whole Jeffrey Epstein thing to us.
You know, he's like a big time.
I don't want to call him a conspiracy theorist because that cuts the legs out from Um Durham, but he's got great perspective on the real way the world works.
Let's say that way.
And he's got a hilarious podcast y'all can check out.
So he'll be joining us a little bit later.
But besides that, I've been gone.
I missed you guys for a week.
And it's just, it is a weird transition.
I'm not going to lie.
It's a weird way to come back from a break.
None of us, I don't think, saw this coming.
I think we're all excited about a niece coming into the family, the flagrant family.
Yes.
But yeah, like Andrew said, these are the moments where we show that this is where we show that we're the good guys dressed in a flagrant outfit.
So send Kaz your love.
He specifically said, please send his girl prayers and good thoughts and love.
I mean, I'm obviously one of my best friends is going through this already, Brian, who we've spoken about on this podcast.
But like, I see this.
It's not an easy thing to go through, but we can hold him.
We can love him.
And then one thing I remember is every once in a while, just, you know, say the right thing.
Just say something.
Just tweet him.
Hey, man, love you.
That's it.
That's all you got to do.
That's it.
That means a lot to somebody, you know, going through that.
And you never know.
He might need something to kind of lift him up or make him smile throughout the day.
It's always nice knowing that you have people thinking about you.
And I think that, you know, when tragedy happens, it can be so fucking isolating, man.
That's the thing about tragedy is, you know, you're going through something by yourself, and you can't exactly go out and like relate to people about this.
And how do you act normally?
Like, even I know like my Brian even feels guilty when he feels normal.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like it's your baby.
Yeah.
How do I forget about something like that?
And you know, it takes a long time to realize that's okay to feel.
But like it's, yeah, I don't know how it's tough to function.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Isolating Moments of Tragedy00:14:50
So, I mean, Japan sucks.
Can I say one thing about that?
Can I say one thing?
About what?
Amsterdam is great.
Is that where you went?
Yeah, for the shows that you recommended me for.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
God, I'm really your guardian angel.
I know.
It's crazy.
I do so much for Akash, I forget.
That was really good.
Dude, it was great.
I loved Amsterdam.
Shorty or no?
Yeah, yeah.
She came out the next day.
She had to work.
So I went out one day, then she came out.
It was dope.
It was great.
Did assholes come out?
Some assholes?
No, I didn't.
I didn't even promote it.
I didn't promote it.
Why not?
Man, I was trying to do these videos, and then I was like, I'll promote when I get there.
And I will say this about Amsterdam.
The internet is legit.
Like, one of the things that I'm doing.
This is the laziest fucking person on the planet.
I had no idea you were at Amsterdam.
Hold on a second.
This guy couldn't post more than one video a week to Instagram.
An hour to post one video.
Wow.
At a certain point, I'm not.
I'm like.
Wait, Where?
Wait, in Amsterdam?
Yeah.
No, Amsterdam, the internet's fine.
It's bruh.
My internet was dog shit.
Wi-Fi was trash out there.
No.
You could post an Instagram video.
Stop it.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
To an Instagram.
An hour.
Yeah, bugged it.
So I get this fucking piece of shit.
A gig in Amsterdam.
Fly paid for.
They paid you, obviously.
I paid for my flight, but yeah.
They pay you to pay for your money.
I made money, though.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, I made enough money that it's fine.
I came out fine.
He didn't pay for your flight.
He said he would pay for your flight in the email.
No, no, no.
I think, because I want to go with a different email, so he just threw me a little more different airline.
So he threw me a little more money and then I paid for the flight.
But like, it was like, I came out fine.
But he did pay for your flight.
You just chose to go with a different.
So he paid for your flight.
Yeah.
He paid for most of it.
But because you decided to go the different airline.
I'm never helping this guy again, son.
This guy's the most least grateful motherfucker.
How you make it seem like he ain't paid for your flight?
I don't know.
Hold on.
I get you this gig in Amsterdam.
You don't even promote me.
Wait a minute, guys.
Guys, can we remember?
Shut the fuck up.
Guys, you don't promote the fucking gig.
Right.
Did I get you in Amsterdam?
Right.
That you don't have to do anything for.
Right.
You get, you say on the podcast that he didn't pay for your flight.
Right.
After already not promoting the gig that he paid you to do.
Right.
You say that he didn't pay for your flight.
When he did pay for your flight, you just wanted points, you cheap piece of shit.
I wanted to get out of being in trouble.
What does that mean?
I wanted to get out of getting blamed for not posting.
You didn't even post the hotel pic, like when the girls get the fly out.
Like, you don't know where they're at, but they just post the hotel pic.
You didn't even post that.
Like, I had no idea.
I forgot that you were there.
That's honestly fine with me.
No.
Shows were sold out.
He had already told me the weekend shows were sold out.
I didn't do Wednesday, Thursday.
That last second fell through.
So Friday, Saturday, shows were sold out.
So I was like, all right, I could promote.
It's taking fucking forever to upload these videos anyway.
Let me go see Amsterdam.
Had a good time.
Got recognized at the grocery store.
Yeah.
Wow, this guy.
I mean, just astonishing.
Was there no party that's like, I should promote these shows?
I think it was one of those things where it's like, you got to promote the UN Amsterdam and it felt like corny to me or like phony to me to be like trying to act like I'm more successful than I was or whatever.
And Schultz got me the shows.
It's not like I'm some famous dude.
Yeah, but nobody knew that until you fucked it up today.
Well, you the one that said you, I'm your guardian angel.
You cut it then.
I am.
So, exactly.
So I just let it sit.
No, but at the same time, you should have that, son.
Come on.
Son, like when I saw you had that video, they got 200,000 views on Instagram.
That was this shit.
I was hyped for that shit.
Yeah.
He's like, all right.
But you posted it, so you must have been posting.
I know, I know.
My girl made me do that.
She was like, you got to do something.
I was like, all right, fuck it.
I hate posting on social media.
I hate it.
I got to find someone else to help, son.
Comics, any comics, they're going to do something with this help.
Son, if you don't let people know you're popping, they ain't going to know you're popping.
Have you listened to rap?
I do be listening to it.
What kind of music you listen to, Girvanas?
I do be listening to rap.
You listening to too much white music, bro.
Rappers be popping before the album's out.
On a debut album, a rapper will go, best rapper alive.
On the debut, he wrote the song before the album was ever out.
He wasn't even a rapper.
Son, right now, Blue Face, who probably has the worst flow in the game, he's the best lyricist.
Son.
Like, come on, Akash.
I'm going to hip hop.
I'm right.
I'll get there.
Come on, son.
And boy, it's right here.
I'm saying.
You took pics.
Throw them up like, throw back Thursday, something.
You got to.
Also, the fact that the shows are sold out, it don't matter.
You didn't sell them out.
They don't got to know that.
You selling out international.
Son, he sold them shits out.
You sold them out.
You sold those shits out.
We sold them out.
What am I?
What?
I'm going to comment on the Instagram.
Son, they knew Big Dick Akash was coming to sound, son.
Come on.
No, come on.
You're right.
You're right.
You're a little bit of a snake, son.
Son.
You're right.
Smoking mirrors until it's real.
You're right.
It's fake until it's not.
Come on, son.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Big dick.
Come on, bro.
I'm tight right now.
That's beautiful.
You international sold out.
And that's not a small venue.
Tombler?
It was a Tumblr?
Was that Tumblr?
It's weird shaped how it goes back in the back.
It's an odd.
It's like a Y.
The front is sick.
Front is amazing.
It's almost like if they cut it off at the bar.
It'd be better.
Perfect.
Yeah.
But it does go back kind of.
It goes back like a wishbone.
Yes.
Exactly that.
Yes.
And you had fun and you liked the shows?
Thursday show was work that fucking worked.
I thought you said Wednesday, Thursday didn't work out.
Friday show.
Friday show.
Sorry.
Friday was work.
Yeah.
Saturday was fun.
But Friday show was like, bruh, I was up there and I understood the Dutch audience might be a little different.
A little different.
Yeah.
But the first five minutes, they are just staring.
Yeah.
Saturday, they were a little looser.
They were more fun.
Also, the host only did three minutes.
He's supposed to do 10.
Yeah.
So only did three.
So I'm in the bathroom and then he just hops off stage and then I got to like run on stage.
And that was a little weird.
The energy is a little weird.
But then they were just staring.
And then I had to work, dog.
Like my back hurt when I was gone.
Legit, my back hurt.
I was like, I got to fucking crack these people open.
His back hurt from the blue light district.
That's where it's back.
That blue light, son.
Blue light is dicks.
We learned that shit the hard way.
Oh, so y'all go together?
Son, do some assists.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember Sweden, obviously.
Sweden tends to take over a lot of the memories.
I knew it was international, but I don't remember which countries because pops out so much.
Brag about what's going on.
Right, you're right.
And I'm really honestly working at it.
I am like the fucking post.
My girl's like, you got 200,000 views.
You got to post this.
I was like, I should.
And then she was like, no, I don't say you'll do it tonight.
Do it now.
So I was like, all right, you're right.
Let me do this.
You're just posting that you're touring internationally.
It's like, so much of this shit is literally people talking and then other people talking and then other people talking.
But if you don't put it out there, nobody's going to see you.
You're absolutely right.
I just always, if it's smoke and mirrors, I'm always like, man, nah, it's not real.
Neither is comedy.
You tell the same jokes every night like that.
That's a good point.
Like you didn't.
That's you look at them in their face and you act like this is the first time you're telling the joke.
Nothing is more inauthentic.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
We're okay with it.
Yeah.
So apply that same inauthenticity.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Son, when those shows start selling out for your tour, you better let people know.
Done.
Done.
With him, with you.
I was telling you the fucking one of the GOATs early.
And I said, you need to start talking that shit.
Yo, it's true, man.
He's like, nah, you know, I was too bad.
Comedy community.
We don't really, you know, talk that shit like that.
I said, fuck it.
All right.
And then you did that shit.
No, it's true.
It is true, man.
Because you got to tell people how you feel.
I said, I'm top five alive.
And then motherfuckers started treating me like I was.
But if you don't put it in there in their head, they're not going to know.
They need to know.
Akash out here selling out international.
Selling out Amsterdam.
You know what I mean?
Traveling around with a big ass.
Fuck out of here, bro.
Now you're right.
Take the girls on vacation and shit.
Come on, son.
Nah, you're right.
Come on, bro.
I'm tight.
Lesson learned.
You got a pickle you on stage?
Huh?
Yeah.
Late post.
Yo, answering.
Thank you for the sold-out shows.
But that'd be up tonight.
Come on.
That'd be a ton.
Asshole army that's listening.
Front like you didn't hear this and just be like, yo, this is so sick.
Akash, we know y'all was killing it.
Nah, you're right.
And that's, yeah, you just got to say fuck it and just post off.
Yes, this shit is smoking mirrors till it ain't dead ass.
Look at me with his porn stash.
Smoking mirrors till it ain't, bro.
It becomes real.
Nah, you're right.
You're right.
Dead ass.
Nah, you got to work on it.
And I just fucking anything I do, just do it.
Please.
It's right here.
So humble.
I'm being dead serious.
I know, I know.
That's your whole point, though.
I know, I know.
But it's just a comment like that.
Just whatever I do, do the shit.
Yeah.
Why would you do anything different?
I don't understand why anybody would do it.
I'm not even saying this to be arrogant.
I'm saying it's right here.
Literally, just do it.
It works.
No, you're right.
You put the clip up 200,000.
I've been begging you to put clips on it.
I know.
I think he's learning the lesson.
No, I'm just saying it just took a while to get there.
It's just a while to learn a lesson.
It's like...
He'd be taking a while, man.
It'd be taking a while sometimes.
Especially with that kind of shit.
If you don't promote this show coming up on Thursday, I'm going to be Ted at you too.
What's the show coming up on Thursday?
Wow.
The Brownest.
Oh, the Brownest show.
New York Comedy Club.
8 p.m. East Village location.
4th Street, 2nd Avenue.
You do promote your shows on the podcast.
That's good.
Yes.
But now we're going to...
You got to sell the brand of Akash.
No, I'm going to start.
I'm stepping up my social.
The clips was like, let me at least do this.
Why do you feel bad doing it?
This is a great idea.
I don't know.
There's something very like it's all in my head, but there's something kind of phony about all of the like, oh, look, I'm pretending I'm more on than I am.
And there's something about me that never likes doing it.
I'm always like, nah, that's whack.
That's what I'm saying.
But it's not about being phony.
It's not about that.
Because you don't mind being phony on stage.
To me, that's like, and that's why I love crowd work.
It's like, oh, this is, and that's what I used to say.
And at a certain point, I was like, well, this is what it is.
But we talked about this.
Crowdwork is the only real moment on stage.
Everything else is crowdwork that's not crowd work.
You'll do like crowd work that you know the direction is going.
I know the direction it's going.
And then even then, I'm like, let me try to find, you try to find the way you're okay with it.
But it's still phony.
Yeah, but you find, you find your, oh, okay, I can justify this way of doing it.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I don't need to justify.
For me, I. For me.
Yeah.
But what I'm saying is, like, if that's not phony to you, there's a reason.
Because I don't think the issue is phony.
I think the issue is insecurity, right?
Oh, yeah.
That was the other part is you're very vulnerable when you're doing that shit.
And especially if I already feel like, yo, this is kind of phony.
That's not phony.
Get out of the phony thing.
You're right, but that's in my head of like.
The phony is the protective thing, right?
I don't want to be vulnerable, so I'm going to call it phony because it's like what comics do.
Like when somebody's popping, they're like, oh, that motherfucker's a hack.
That motherfucker was like, every shitty comic, every comic that's broke has called every successful comic a hack.
Yeah.
That's, and that's not, like, the clips was pure, I don't want to be vulnerable.
Like, what if this shit ain't good?
What if it's, what if, here's the real shit.
Here's the real shit.
I don't know if it's good.
What if everybody else confirms my deepest fear that it's not good?
Now we're talking.
That's the real thing.
Now we're talking.
You nice.
No, you right.
You are nice.
You're right.
Son.
You're right.
Akash Singh is nice.
You're right.
You wanted the nicest, bro.
I appreciate that.
I don't even like you that much outside of your talent.
No, like, obviously I love you like my brother, but you're not so much fun that if you weren't talented, I would want to be around you.
That's actually a compliment.
Not taking it as a compliment.
Take it as a high school.
You're so good at comedy and you so funny at just being funny that I tolerate how wildly boring you are.
That's a good point, too.
To hang out with like on the road.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I don't be going out.
Son, you know the reason why I don't take you on the road?
I'll tell you why the reason why.
No, no, it has nothing to do with that.
Because I know if I take you, you're not going to go be as great as you are.
Oh, interesting.
What do you mean?
You aren't going to be as great as you can be.
If you're on the road with me and we're having a fucking time of our lives and it's just this international tour and we're selling out these theaters and all that kind of shit, some part of you, like anybody in that situation, would be like, yo, this is enough.
We got it.
We're making money.
We're living our dream.
But I know how great you could be.
And I can't let you not be that great as your friend who loves you.
So it's like, I've told this to Alex.
I'm surprised you said it on air.
I can't.
I only say it because I know this is for me to share with the people how great you are to me.
No, no, no.
I don't take any of this personally.
You should take it as the most love.
Yeah.
Love Beyond Ego and Garlic00:14:54
The easiest.
Yeah, I don't take this as like, whatever, as negative.
But I will say this.
It would bother me opening for you because it would, in my mind, again, confirm that fear that like, this is what I am.
I'm this guy's opener.
So I would actually probably that would be.
Everybody's going to be so.
How much pride, son?
Son, his ego is astronomical.
No, no, no.
But all ego is.
Well, hold that.
Hear that.
Hear this.
All ego based in fear, right?
So that fear is, I'm not that good.
This confirms that I'm not that good.
Yes.
That's what I'm saying.
Not I got too much pride to be his whatever, but there's like, this confirms that fear of mine that like, oh, fuck, this is how good I am.
I'm Andrew's opener.
That's just how good I am.
And that's where it stops.
And that's why I also never pressed to open for you or whatever.
Because it's like, nah, that's too real.
That's ego too.
And ego's all based in fear.
Get rid of that shit.
Yo, it's 100% what I'm working on, but it is all based in fear.
And the fear is just something you face.
You're going to work on it.
You facing.
Hey, that's the clips, the first step.
We worked on it.
Done.
First step.
Just worked on it.
Moving on.
Ready for some Tony Robbins?
You see that Tony Robbins clap?
We out of here.
Maybe I should.
Yo, Tony Robbins got the weirdest clap, bro.
He does this shit where he goes.
He does it.
He has his hands wide open like that.
He shakes it and like weird.
And then you get it up.
Look how he's retarding out here clapping, bro.
And this guy, this guy, low-key genius.
Is he gay?
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
He got mad at me too.
Oh, Warren?
Yeah.
You respect him more now.
So.
So.
Yeah, real talk.
So it's like.
He's masculine.
And me too is masculine.
Right?
So, no, we're getting on some good shit.
We're getting on some good shit.
Right?
So eventually, and I know this is tough to talk about, but the way I dream about these things is everybody that is operating within this umbrella that we're building out creates their audiences and everybody has their following.
And then we start doing these massive tours that Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan, when they go do shows together.
Chappelle and Rock do shows together and all these different people come together and do shows.
But, and that's just the dream.
That's the most fun in the whole world.
That's at the other.
But at least the design for me is I needed, I need you to go out and do it.
And then you did it.
You booked your fucking tour.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
But get rid of that fucking ego, like open it for me or something like that.
You know how long I was with Charlemagne and like every single person, Charlemagne's co-host, this, that, the other.
I was like, yeah, it was close.
Awesome.
You know how awesome it is?
To be sure.
You know what I mean?
It was like, I understood everybody is going to have somebody that is going to be their leverage point.
Right.
And if you don't have that, that's the problem.
You're not nice.
You're not nice.
Nobody sees nothing in you.
There's a lot of motherfuckers that won't get that opportunity.
We got a lot of friends that don't get that opportunity.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So it's like you take that opportunity and then you lean into it and run with it.
And then when it's time for you to fucking do your thing, you do your thing as well.
But don't like.
Look, if you had asked me to open for you, I'd have said yes.
I know.
Are you making this about me not wanting to do it?
I'd have still said yes, swallow your ego.
I know, but I guess what I'm saying is don't even, I don't even want you to have that tiny little even shred of insecurity about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, bro.
Like, you nice, bro.
Why don't you ask him?
What?
It's open.
I don't want to ask this guy for anything because he's already done so much.
You can ask me for anything.
But I know you'll do it when you can anyway.
But whatever you need, you can ask.
That's what I'm saying.
Next year, we're doing the special.
Yes.
Yeah.
What about this year?
This year, I'm going on tour working on the special.
Fat ass up, son.
Fuck you.
What are you trying to fuck you trying to do, son?
Fuck you.
Listen.
I was trying.
Listen, I'm Tony Robbins.
All right?
You're not Tony Robbins.
Why you not opening up for Alex, Ed?
What's your deal?
I didn't ask him yet.
Yo, man, you so nice, Akash.
Come on, bro.
That's all I'm trying.
That's all I want to get out of it.
Nah, but real talk, you just, the fear, you got to, like, somehow get rid of it.
And I've done it.
I remember when I first started going on the road with you, and you're like, yo, you're my guy.
You got to act like you're my guy.
And so I was afraid to ask the venues, like, oh, is it okay if I put the camera here or is it okay if I can go to the sound?
Now I walk in these fucking venues.
I'm like, where's the sound guy?
I need a blah, blah, blah.
Accord.
I need this.
Yeah, like, and it's, it's just because it's like, all right, you know what?
I do good work and people appreciate it.
And now I'm feel more confident about the work that I'm doing.
And it's like, fuck that fear of shit.
We all have it.
That's human, bro.
Yeah.
But you're here for a reason, dog.
You're not here just because you're my brother and I love you.
Like, I want to do shows with you because I think you bring out the funniest version of me.
That's a huge skill.
You know how many people make you less funny?
Do you know what I'm saying?
You know how many people you hang around, you're like, man, I feel less funny.
Yeah, 100%.
Do you know what I mean?
We're not going to go there.
We're not going to go there.
I think we all know what we all thinking about in our own lives and ourselves, but we're not going to go there.
You know what I mean?
We happy.
Everything's happy.
So.
Stop it.
You're crazy.
I think we all.
Yeah, I think.
Get out of here.
Yeah, we out.
We are.
We move it.
But yeah, like I.
No, and that's where putting up the clips has been good.
And then because it confirmed that you the shit.
And you went through this too, though.
The industry, even more from me than you.
Like, I didn't have an agent until like three months ago.
So it's like, you just get no after no after no.
That party that's afraid is like, oh, shit, maybe it's not.
But then when you take it to the people like you did and you get love, you're like, oh, okay, I was right.
I actually, okay, there is funny here.
Yes.
Yeah.
Motherfucker, what are you fixing, Eden?
No, I want to.
I don't know.
All right.
Yes, and that's another reason why, like you just said, why giving it to the people is it confirms it, man.
At the end of the day, we, listen, if we 100% believed that we were funny, 100%, we wouldn't do comedy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That little insecurity in us is the reason why we write a good fucking joke, got a good idea.
So that shit is fuel.
Don't lose that.
No.
Okay.
Don't lose that.
Like when you hang out, when I hang out, I'm not going to name names, but when I'm around someone like the GOATs, like there's some insecurity there.
Like some of the funniest people you could think of, you can feel it.
And on some level, maybe it's like a letdown because you're like, you're a superstar.
The only time I've ever heard you talk is when your perfectly crafted specials were out.
Yeah.
And then you see them like being normal and like kind of like thinking about something and like saying it.
I'm uncomfortable and awkward.
I think we're thinking about certain people.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, but then you go, oh, shit, that's the superpower.
That's the thing.
That's it.
That's a good point.
Now, it either, like we were talking about.
Insecurity is a fire, right?
It either is the furnace that heats the whole building up or it's the thing that burns the whole thing down, right?
That's what they said about the white guy that played for Duke.
What's that white guy that played for Duke?
Yeah, that's what Coach K said about Christian Leightner.
He's like, the fire in him is either the furnace that heats the whole building or it's the fire that burns it down.
Right.
Let that shit heat the whole building, bro.
Yeah.
You got to keep it in check.
Let it rip.
Let it rip.
Yeah.
You right.
What?
You're yelling so loud.
Yeah, I'm yell.
Oh, I forgot you got the headphones on.
My bad.
My bad, everybody at home.
I just need Akash to feel himself today, man.
I need you to feel yourself today, man.
And don't be fucking afraid to ask me for nothing.
Who else I'm going to give it to?
I don't like none of these comics.
You know what I mean?
I got to help him because I love comedy, you know what I mean?
But I know they were all talking mad shit before we got shit moving.
Let me tell you something.
You right.
I know.
And you know what?
It's one of the funniest things.
It's like, I don't care because I understand why this shit was talked about.
I got to forgive you for me.
Not you, but for the people who talk shit.
Right.
I got to.
It's funny getting texts from people.
I know used to talk shit.
Man, I love everything you're doing.
It's so inspiring.
It's like, my man, thanks, bro.
I didn't know thanks, but thanks, brother.
Yeah.
Thank you, brother.
Because I don't harbor none of that shit.
I don't harbor.
You know what I mean?
What is it?
Why harbor it?
Why?
What does it do?
No, that's a perspective of success.
Man, fuck all these motherfuckers, bro.
You want to know some shit?
We love everybody.
All right.
They'll love.
I love everybody.
When you see me talk shit about anybody.
Fuck these guys.
I don't like these guys.
I'm sarcastic.
You know what I mean?
But like, look, man, that's all I'm saying.
We had a fucking, we had a cool week.
We had a cool week.
It's good to be back, man.
It is good to be back.
It's good to be back.
You want to talk about Japan?
Yes.
Let me tell you something about this fucking place, bro.
This is the most fascinating and intriguing and sad place on the fucking planet.
It is, you will have the best of multiple things that you ever had in your entire life there.
Such as, I had the best steak I've ever had in my entire life there.
Not even close.
Not even close.
The best steak I've ever had in my entire life there.
Not even close.
Was it a place that was recommended or you stumbled upon it?
My shorty was figuring all these things out.
Right.
We go to this steak place.
They don't talk to each other in Japan.
Like nobody talks.
It's like everybody's by themselves.
Like, first of all, after you were in Japan for a week, you completely understand how they were willing to fly the planes into Pearl Harbor, right?
It's like, like, people can't wait to die there.
They can't wait to commit suicide.
They have suicide force.
Son, they have the forest.
They got fly the planes into Pearl Harbor.
They have Hari Kari, this thing where you cut your stomach open, take out all your intestines.
Like, they have, son, they got all the different types.
You know how like Jordan Colorways?
That's what they got for suicide, son.
They got tons of different types.
You drop every Saturday at 11 a.m.
That's the new shit.
That's the new shit, right?
Jump in front of the subway, love committing suicide, right?
They love it.
It's their favorite thing, right?
It is a wild place.
Son, we were at this steak spot, right?
The guy cuts, I don't know, one of these vegetables.
Zucchini.
Garlic.
Okay.
Yeah.
You know that one?
It's like kind of a vegetable.
I don't even think you can eat it like that, but it's more like a spice or something, right?
Yeah.
But it's a vegetable like when it's in its entirety.
Do y'all know what I'm talking about or no?
Yo, real talk?
Yeah.
Is that a vegetable?
Yeah, it's a vegetable, I'm pretty sure.
It is.
Okay, okay, yeah.
I don't know.
So it's big.
Son, my man took it out, right?
Started chopping that shit up, right?
And it's a flat table like this, but it's made out of metal.
It's like a grill, but it's not a grill.
It's like where they put the hamburgers at at McDonald's.
You know what I'm talking about?
The flat stainless steel count.
Stainless steel.
Hot.
Put some oil down.
Cuts the garlic real thin.
He starts making chips out of the garlic.
Wow.
Right?
Takes his beef, Kobe beef, Wagyu, Kobe beef.
They let the cows listen to classical music.
They like feed the cows beard.
Dark life as a whole thing.
I think they jerk them off.
I just made that up.
Oh, and they look at it.
I'm like, I'm like, what?
Son, they massage them, son.
They do crazy shit to these cows.
Dude, Hindus would really love this up until the end.
We get really into that shit.
Up until they pull out that fucking machete.
We'd be like, what's going on now?
Wait a minute.
And that's where they probably got it from.
Right?
The Buddhism got there from India.
Yeah.
Right?
And it was like, by the time they got there, like, fuck it, we hungry, son.
I ain't going to meditate all day and not have a burger after this shit.
I've been thinking about this burger all fucking day.
Give me some garlic chips.
So you take the garlic chip, you take a little wasabi.
They teach you how to have every bite.
Right.
Everything's like a little wasabi, garlic chip on top.
You take that.
It is the best steak you've had.
It's butter.
Right.
It is butter.
Okay.
Best steak I ever had.
You ready for this one?
I couldn't, I didn't even have the heart to admit it, but I'll fucking say it right now.
You ready?
Best pizza I've ever had.
Oh my God.
Son.
Almost.
Get the fuck out of here.
Son.
How?
Yo, turn his mic aside.
How?
Son.
Aka sang the nicest comic in New York.
Aka sing the nicest comic in New York, yo.
Real talk.
Let's go.
Okay.
Son, get the fuck out.
Look, look.
No bullshit.
It was bare minimum top three, and I'm only saying it because they're Asian.
And I can't tell them that they could make a pizza good.
I can't fast.
If it was an Italian making that pizza, I'd go, you made the best pizza I've ever had in my entire life.
Unfamil am I wanted to do?
Best Pizza and Sushi Dreams00:15:46
It's so good.
Yeah, you gotta, you gotta, come on, okay.
Okay, we're gonna get into, we're gonna get into it.
We're gonna get into the experience of eating the pizza.
Okay, let me tell you.
Shorty suggests pizza.
What's your first thought?
Shorty suggests, first of all, she suggests I suggest it because I haven't been eating fish.
I ain't gonna eat another fish in my entire life.
Okay.
Okay, if you think that Americans are the reason why there's no more fish in the sea, go to Japan.
They're eating all the fish.
Everything is fish.
Breakfast, fish.
Two different types of fish.
That's no.
Lunch, fish.
Dinner, fish.
All they're eating is fish.
It's constant.
That's why they want to kill themselves.
Real talk also, it's redundancy.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like you eat fish, I want to kill myself.
If I had to eat another fish, they want to kill themselves because mercury poisoning.
I don't know what that means, but mercury's in the fish.
And if you eat a mercury.
Mercury's in a thermometer, stupid.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
That's where they get the mercury from the thermometers from fish.
Nah, the other way around.
Fish aren't supposed to have mercury, but water's polluted so they get mercury in them.
Yeah.
And then they go.
Because we're not recycling thermometers.
Something.
I don't know.
The fish are eating the thermometers.
That's a good question.
Eden, can you look up how does mercury get in the ocean?
And then that shit.
Poisoning makes you go crazy.
All right.
Well, that must be it.
Anyway.
Bro, I think you might have solved it.
Fish, fish, amazing.
Okay.
Obviously, don't worry about this heading.
Close it because it's too distracting.
We're going to get there.
You just look at it yourself.
And when we come back to you for that information, then you can talk.
Okay?
Fucking dumbass.
Stupid motherfucker.
See what I mean?
Fat fuck.
That's my new shit.
I'm going to call him fat.
We haven't done that yet.
I know.
He never once commented on his waist.
I know, but now you're going to get commented on.
You like a boy's huskies, huh?
Motherfucker look like a Mexican toadstool.
Every time you walk in the room, I hear, tent, dent, tanta, dent, tanta.
Skinny our frogs over here.
Isn't that the shit from Mario Kart at the beginning of every episode?
Tenta da tanta da tanta.
Bing.
Bing.
Shit.
Such a fat mouth.
Fucking stupid.
Fat motherfucker.
Look.
Look, look.
Hey, yeah.
Yeah.
What?
You can't say nothing, can you?
Can't say nothing.
My back, I bet you look hella like a frog.
That shit is wild.
Fucking Budweiser frog over here.
Eddie, you gotta cut some comebacks.
You know, you gotta come back.
Oh, yeah, you come back to the dessert tray, motherfucking son.
Go on, son.
Nah, now you stress, right?
You thinking?
He just typing random shit into the computer.
He didn't know what to do.
We went into his DJ posture.
You saw that shit?
He put his fucking ear in his shoulder.
You went like this.
You had your ear in your shoulder.
Look, back to these Japaneses.
Okay?
I had the best sushi I ever had in my life, right?
Obviously.
Not Jiro.
I got a bone to pick with this motherfucker.
Let me tell you something about Jiro, okay?
We should have taken that guy out in World War II.
Okay?
We missed with Jiro.
This fraud.
Okay.
Listen, for those of you guys who don't know what I'm talking about, I already spoke about on the podcast.
I dream of Jiro dreams of sushi.
Yeah.
Is the name of the thing?
It's a Netflix documentary.
He's not dreaming of sushi, let me tell you that much.
Okay?
He's dreaming of something else.
I was so excited to go to this fucking dinner.
I was geeked for you.
Son, do you know I bought a suit?
So keep in mind, son.
Keep in mind, the dinner is $1,000.
Me and my shorty, right?
I'm buying suit.
$500 each or thousand.
$500 each.
$1,000.
That's crazy, bro.
Son.
Wait till you hear about this dinner.
You're going to get an angry Kramer right now.
Ready?
Here we go.
$1,000 dinner, right?
Pre-booked.
We get it.
I'm so fucking hyped.
We start looking up the right way to eat the food, how to operate in the gym.
Okay, you gotta wear a suit?
Okay, boom, I gotta wear a suit.
I go buy a fucking suit, right?
Do they even have sizes for you in Japan?
Damn, I bought it in America.
Okay, yeah.
I was prepared.
I brought the suit over there.
I brought a new pair of shoes.
I bought the belt.
I bought the shirt.
I spent $1,000 on the suit, the whole thing.
I'm 2,000 deep for Jiro, okay?
We go to Jiro, right?
We're running late.
The shit is in the subway.
You can't even find it.
You got to go through some back entrance.
It's like you're trying to get into a nightclub in the 80s, like some real crazy shit.
We're running mad late.
Shorty got on heels and shit.
She's like, you're rushing too.
We should go this.
And I developed a cool way to tell her to shut up without saying shut up.
I just go, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
That's not nice.
It's not nice.
Shut up is like aggressive, but if you a ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, they don't really know what to do and they just stop.
Yo, the pa-pa-pa-pa-pa.
Watch the son, I had to improvise it.
We were about to be late.
You can't be late.
That's the shit my girl would do.
You cannot be fucking late to a $1,000 dinner.
Just a thousand dollars.
He needs a Japanese.
He don't have no fucking technology.
They've never been late in their whole life.
Okay?
These are very principled, formal people.
Okay?
I pull up in.
I pull up in.
Okay?
We finally get there.
Three minutes to spare.
We sit down.
Thank God we got it.
Okay.
Would you like me to take your jacket?
The girl at the door says, I didn't even get to show Jiro.
I ain't got to show him my blazer yet.
You know what I mean?
But I reluctantly give the double-breasted.
So Jiro never saw a double-breasted.
We sit down ready for sushi.
Keep in mind, I know some of you look at me right now, like, I don't know sushi at all.
I'm some white motherfucker.
I don't understand these things.
But you know what I did that day?
I went to the fish market from Jiro Dreams of sushi.
Oh.
Yeah, that morning, 6 a.m.
And you know what I did immediately after I saw the fresh tuna get caught?
I went to one of the restaurants at the old fish market that has the fresh tuna.
And I had sushi for breakfast.
I had the best sushi I ever had in my entire life.
That morning.
That morning.
The recommendation from our homeboy, Tao, that came to the podcast.
Yeah, yeah.
When I tell you this sushi was incredible, you never had it in your entire life.
And there's something different with tuna than everything else.
The fish tuna is like that steak, butter.
It is butter on rice.
You never experienced tuna.
Like the tuna we have here and the salmon.
You know how they're like almost interchangeable?
Yeah.
Tuna is so unique in texture and flavor from every other fish that you try, you see why they're obsessed with it.
I had the best sushi I ever had in my entire life.
I doubled down.
I ordered another round and I heard the Japanese guy.
I heard that was Japanese.
Honestly, Japanese, that's Italian.
The weirdest language, bro.
I'm telling you.
It's listen, of course, you think that you always think about that.
But it's more melodic.
That's how you say grand hyatt.
Right?
That's what you say?
Son, I don't speak no Japanese.
Yes, I don't speak no Japanese, but I heard little words.
You basically just say condiments.
Condiments.
Honey mustard.
Right?
Son, you walk into the restaurant.
I don't know what they're saying, but they're like, honey mustard.
Katsup, honey mustard.
Katsup, man, that's it.
You just say condiments.
They just screaming condiments.
They understand it.
I don't know what's going on.
I tried a sushi that morning.
I tried the sushi that morning.
I prepared myself a sushi.
I took a nap.
Son, I wasn't about to go to Jiro tired.
I took a nap.
I put on a suit.
Pressed.
I had that shit hanging for three days.
Put it in the shower.
I put the shirt in the shower to get the wrinkles out.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Bro, it's Jiro.
He dreams of sushi.
You snap dude.
You snap the dream of sushi.
I was dreaming of sushi too, I got it.
I was dreaming of it.
I show up to this.
I sit down.
No jacket.
I sit down.
I look up.
I see Jiro.
I'm like, wow, he looks great still.
And then I realize it was actually his son.
That's a problem.
Now, the son who was in the documentary.
I'm like, my, he's aged.
But this is still awesome that I at least get the son.
Because Jiro's 94 years old.
I was worried he wasn't even going to be there.
So I was like, boom, we got the son from the documentary.
We're good.
I look to his left.
And there's Jiro.
Word?
Jiro and his son.
I got the double whammy.
Oh, you're hyped.
I'm fucking hyped.
Can we get you something to drink?
Green tea.
I know better.
I looked at the rules.
Don't order alcohol is disrespect.
I sit down.
Shorey sits down.
Green tea.
Green tea right there.
Piping hot.
Piping hot.
You're even more excited.
I'm so excited, but it was so hot.
Ah, gosh.
I tried to drink.
I had to put it back down, let it cool off.
I had to let it cool off.
It was so piping hot.
It was piping, bro.
What was it?
Piping, bro.
Son, it was piping, right?
We get the first piece of sushi, right?
I put it in my mouth.
I take two bites.
Almost threw up on Jiro's son.
Almost threw up on Jiro's son.
The wasabi started to crawl down my nose.
Okay?
The wasabi is crawling down my nose.
I'm trying to hold it in.
And then I realize if I don't suck this back, I'm going to throw up all over Jiro's son.
So I go, I suck all the horseradish or whatever the wasabi you made out of back up into my nose.
When I tell you I almost left the restaurant to throw up, I'm being 100% honest with you.
Keep in mind, I had fresh sushi from the fish market this morning.
No issue.
This is something specific to Jiro.
Two pieces in, almost threw up.
Take another sip of the green tea, boiling hot.
Just molten lava.
Just my whole mouth is burnt.
My tongue is burnt.
Everything's burnt.
But you know what?
I'm actually grateful because now I can taste the wasabi less than my whole mouth is burnt, right?
A guy comes up.
He starts about to pour more green tea into my cup, right?
Green de tien.
Right?
I go, I go, no, no, no, thank you, no, thank you.
He looks at me in front of my shorty, in front of Jiro, in front of Jiro Jr.
And he goes, oh, it's a free.
I just paid $1,000.
You think I can't afford whatever the fuck the cost of a little extra green tea would be?
To say that to me was mind-boggling.
Mind-boggling.
No, I want to cool down.
They don't understand anything out there.
Nobody speaks English in Japan.
Go through the rest of the sushi.
Ten of them were edible.
The other 10, horrific.
Horrific.
Inedible.
You couldn't eat it.
Like, even if you could eat with the wasabi, just didn't taste good.
Did she like it?
Hated it.
Really?
Hated it.
Hated it.
So, what I don't understand is each piece was just covered with wasabi.
I thought, like, they hid it underneath.
I don't know what happened, dude.
I honestly, I don't.
Listen, I wasn't around for Pearl Harbor.
I promise you, it was not as bad as what I had to do on behalf of the Japanese.
On behalf of the Japanese.
Like, as I'm eating this, I'm like, internment camps, yes.
Round them up.
Put them in the can.
Like, why do you let this is poison?
You're poisoning a human being here.
Son, $1,000.
They just give the suicide bombers wasabis so they'd rather crash your plane than take them.
In a heartbeat.
In a heartbeat, dude.
Dude, I could not fucking believe it, bro.
Had Tal been to Jiro?
Had you heard from other people that it's not that great?
We go to a bar right afterwards.
It's called Barclay High Five, where they just make a cocktail for you based on what you like.
You just tell them a few things and they just potion up a cocktail.
It's really impressive.
And the first thing we said was, yeah, we just came from Jiro, and the guy goes, didn't like it, huh?
Wow.
Everybody that goes there afterwards says the same thing.
It's a bullshit marketing ploy.
Don't go.
Don't waste your money.
The best sushi you'll have is in Tokyo, and you can walk into any sushi restaurant and get it.
Don't waste your money on that fucking shit.
$1,000.
It's just so funny how hype you are to see this.
I was starstruck.
I was looking at his hands.
He has the most beautiful hands.
They both have such beautiful hands.
What's beautiful about them?
The only part of their body that doesn't age.
The Japanese or does those two?
Those two.
Maybe they'd be rubbing them in the wasabi.
No, son, it's not the wasabi.
It's the rice.
There's a yeast they use in the rice that this like makeup company uses to make SK2 is the name of the company.
Have you guys heard of this company?
Ask your girl about it.
I guarantee that she knows.
And they use the same property to like make your skin not age.
And I swear to God, this shit was magic.
I'm looking at two guys.
Jiro's 94.
His son looks fucking 84.
They look old as shit.
Their hands look 19.
19.
Immaculate.
Wow.
What?
You're going to have everybody just throwing rice on their face.
It's real tough, man.
That's probably what they put in Hennessy barbecue rings or whatever black people eat.
I'm just saying that's why y'all age so good.
Consuming all the Hennessy buffalo wings.
Wait, so what's the best pizza, though?
Oh, yeah, you didn't finish that one.
Pizza Strata.
Aging Well in Singapore00:03:48
But what makes it so good?
You don't even know.
You have to understand.
I don't respect your epic.
You have to understand, and that's reasonable.
What the Japanese do is they're craftsmen.
They just perfect anything.
Anything that happens, they just perfect.
Like breakdancing.
Son, breakdancing.
What's it called?
Suicide, subways, cleanliness, ice cream.
Like, it don't matter.
They're just going to find a way to perfect it.
They just stick because that's their only outlet.
They got no more outlets.
Son, we got yelled at in a bar.
My shorty and I for kissing.
Wow.
You could smoke cigarettes in a bar.
You could smoke cigarettes in a bar.
Blow cancer into someone's face.
But if you're kissing a girl, oh, no, please stop it.
The guy ran over.
The bartender ran over.
Oh, no, That's wild.
That is affectionless culture.
Everything about the culture is commodifies and transactionized, right?
So it's like, I feel like I want some affection.
I want to cuddle.
Well, you go to this cuddle bar.
I just want to talk to a girl.
You'll go to this bar where girls come over and they talk to you.
I want to come now.
You'll go to this massage place where they jerk you off and then you'll come.
Son, it is, it seems like it's great, but it's a completely inorganic form of living.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
It's unnatural.
Yeah, nobody thinks the Japanese are organic people.
I never thought of that.
Son, it is mind-boggling, but they create this perfection.
You know, so it's like one of these.
This is what it is.
Japan is like the greatest hot dog you've ever had, or the greatest sausage, greatest piece of chorizo you've ever had, right?
In that it's so amazing, but you don't want to know what went into it.
You know what I'm saying?
Like the ingredients are like, yeah, like you don't want to know the ingredients of a culture that creates these perfectionists.
Right, right, right.
You don't want to know what it takes to get to there.
Right.
Like, oh, dude, it was, I mean, like, dude, there's crazy shit about the culture.
Like, it's the only culture in the whole world where a wife can sue her husband's lover.
Oh, that's dope.
So if you're cheating, your wife can sue the woman you're cheating with.
Yeah, but what can she do to you?
I mean, she could take half of your shit too.
Oh, wow.
Or whatever it is.
But like, think about it.
At first, you're like, that's crazy.
But it's genius.
It's brilliant.
They figured out how to cut down on cheating.
Don't punish the husband.
Keep these hoes away from us.
Keep these hoes away.
I've been saying that for years.
What's that?
Just keep the hoes away, man.
There it is.
The hoes be fucking shit up.
Son, but what a genius.
So now these hoes are like, how badly do I want this dick?
Do I want this dick so badly I'll pay for it?
That's what I'm saying.
That's a brilliant idea.
There's no doubt that they're a genius about shit.
But there are parables.
Like when I start feeling bad for women, then you know I rarely feel bad for these hoes.
But then there were times there where I was like, yo, come.
Give me an example.
First of all, there's zero, like, they are the leaders in fashion for men.
Right.
Women dress like they're in a little house on a prairie.
These bitches are in stockings.
Like placid juice.
Placidic juice.
Like every store.
Butter ass-looking ass bitches.
Yes.
Making fucking wicker baskets.
Yeah.
Like literally.
No fashion at all for the chicks.
It's trash.
I watched crazy rich Asians and they was getting kind of flying.
That was Singapore, son.
Japanese Fashion and Bowing00:02:21
Yeah.
Nah, Singapore, Chinese.
You know what I mean?
They're a little different with it.
They're a little different with it.
These dudes, like the women are, they said there's a statistic that said 1% of Japanese women have orgasms.
That seems kind of high, don't it?
That's a lot.
That's some giving ass dudes.
I was like, that's about accurate.
1%.
This is not my percentage.
All right?
God damn, these guys be working.
Shit.
So, look, maybe.
All I'm saying is, like, they're mad.
The bow and shit, like, eventually, like, chill out with that shit, son.
How many times are we going to bow, bro?
Like, like, one is going to be a little bit more.
That's why Japanese dudes be all hunched over when they get old.
They've just been bowing.
They've been bowing too much, son.
Oh, you have to keep bowing?
It's not just one bow.
I cut that shit off eventually.
I hit them with that.
Like, I'll give them a little, you know, but you just bob it, son.
When like the service people in the service industry, how do I say this?
I'm not trying to say Japanese people are like squirrels, but like they, you know, how like squirrels are like, that's how they are.
That's how Japanese people are.
Like, you're like, excuse me, or something like that.
Or you tell the cab driver, oh, sir, we're actually going to, oh, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yo, I'm telling they freak out.
Like, I see one calm, chillin'.
Like, if you think about it, think about their culture, right?
It's either work 17 hours, Tokyo, go crazy, or what's the opposite?
Is calm, water-flowing Taoist monk.
That's Japan.
Didn't know.
They need that shit.
It's one or the other, but they need it, bro.
Ah, dude.
And then Kyoto, don't ever go to Kyoto.
What's Kyoto?
Kyoto is the biggest piece of horse shit in the entire world.
Don't ever go.
I never even heard of it.
Kyoto's just city a couple hours away from Tokyo, and it's basically like Westerners.
The way we think of Japanese people, we think they're like walking around in kimonos with fucking samurai swords and shit.
So when we go to Tokyo and we don't see that, we're like, what the fuck is this?
Periods vs Samurai Swords00:06:54
I would have been disappointed, right?
So you want to see a bitch in a kimono, right?
With the sandals and like walk wobbling and shit.
And like the paper houses.
Yeah.
So like with the rice paper doors and shit.
Yeah.
So the closest city that's got that is Kyoto.
And everybody's like, oh my God, Kyoto is so awesome.
But it's no different than like when tourists come to America and they like think we're all cowboys.
Yeah.
So like they're like, oh, finally, we saw America.
You go to San Antonio.
We saw America.
It's like, what?
It ain't America.
Like, it's cowboys.
They're not even really around anymore.
Yeah.
That's Kyoto.
So don't go there.
Anyway, that's I look.
That's it.
We don't have to talk about Japan anymore.
Fascinating place.
Go check it out.
It is a fascinating place.
Go check it out.
You get the material out of it.
I don't know.
I really, at this point, I'm not exactly sure.
You got to wrap your mind around it.
I have to.
Something good will come from that, though.
Yes.
There is something good.
It just needs some time.
I need to process some time.
I did think of one joke about how nothing to do with Japan, just my shorty having her period.
And I think I can tell you in a relationship by the way you hit period.
I slapped that bee.
She was real.
Son.
You've been through it, son.
You know what?
Because we were watching Harry Potter, right?
I was just doing anything to calm her down on her.
It was like, probably.
I'm sure that did help.
That's right.
So whenever she talks, she probably wouldn't.
Let me tell y'all something.
Don't work on a period, bro.
That shit don't work on a menstrual cycle.
So I'm trying to calm her down.
She probably wasn't supposed to have a period for another week, and she was like, I had enough of this.
So it's even before the period starts.
Oh, PMS is before the period.
See, how many days are they going to be upset?
How many days y'all want to be upset?
A week with a period?
Then before the period?
And sometimes after.
That's the whole month.
Did you just now start fucking?
No.
Come on.
No, I guess I never really listened to them or something like that prior.
Or I never put together.
I remember MTV Warframe, Jocelyn Jacobs.
She told me that.
She was like, oh, the week before the period.
I didn't know that either.
I was like, the week before.
She's like, yeah, and the week of.
And sometimes the week after.
And then she goes, You basically get about one good week out of us.
And that week ain't all that great, to be honest with you.
Son, I'm watching Harry Potter and the goblet or some shit.
Right?
Goblet or something.
I don't know what it is.
I'm reading.
We're watching this stupid ass fucking movie.
This Harry Potter shit everybody loves so much.
This shit is so dumb.
Son, I love that shit.
I'm reading the books right now.
And Jordan Peterson talked about it on Rogan, which blew my mind.
You're reading the books now?
Yeah.
You couldn't be more gay, son.
Son, this is how you do it.
He's going through it, son.
He's going through it.
I made it his best.
His girl thought he was on his period, so she got him the books.
She was like, Yo, read them shits.
Calm down.
Son, here's how gay.
I made a due with my girl that if she read Rich Dad, Poor Dad, I would read the Harry Potters.
Oh, she's spending all your money.
Oh, we.
Yo, I told her I was going to do a bit about this.
We were in Amsterdam.
He's like, So you know who's going to spend your money?
We start giving her finance books.
She's going through finance books.
This is his wifey.
So it's like, let's figure this out.
If we're going to buy houses and shit, we need to do this right.
But I will say this: I made fun of her for this, and I told her it's going to go into a bit somehow.
But, you know, you pay for your shit internationally, right?
And my girl and I have been internationally probably every year.
We've been together at least once.
And I asked her to, I gave her my card.
I was like, yo, can you pay for this?
I got to do this thing.
And the way she looked at the credit card machine was like she was looking at a fucking like a fucking x-ray machine or something.
She was just like, I don't, where does the card go?
Like, she was trying to do nuclear fission, trying to pay for one thing.
And I was like, we eaten at least 100 meals.
And this lets me know you haven't paid for a single fucking one of them.
Damn, son.
Damn.
She was looking at that shit like, what?
What is it?
I don't.
Hell, they don't know, bro.
They don't know.
And then they get on that period, bro.
And you know what's funny?
I was planning on a period coming.
And I was like, yo, let me ask you something.
I was like, yo, let me just ask you something.
Like, I know when girls get on their period, right?
Because when you're on vacation, you got no respite.
Oh, it's y'all too.
Exactly.
You go fight.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So it's like, when you're on vacation, it's you guys the whole day.
So you could bottle up that period for like two hours to hang out with me.
But it cannot be bottled for 24 hours.
The period's going to leak.
Right, Akash?
So, so I knew it was coming.
So I go like this.
I was like, yo, let me ask you something.
Like, I was like, let me ask you some shit.
So, like, it's a crazy thing on your period when like it's a, you know, affects you emotionally, you're, you know, like a woman's ability to like, you know, make decisions and shit, right?
So, so, so I go, I go, check it.
So I go, I'm already laughing.
I go, I go, I'll go.
So, like, let me just ask you, like, when you're going through your period and I feel like you're making decisions that are motivated by your period, do you want me to like bring that up?
Like, what's the best way for me to say, like, this is a menstrual decision?
This is not a you decision, right?
Like, what's the best way?
Like, give me the best way to say that, right?
So, so here's me thinking, here's me thinking, you know what I mean?
Son, yeah, son, I've been there so many times.
Let me ask this question.
You wrecked your brain trying to think of a way to ask this question.
I'm like, yo, you just tell me.
Like, you tell me what you want me to say to you when you're on your period.
And you think you see it playing out so differently in your mind.
Think he's gonna get me with like, oh, I'll tell you what to say.
I've had this conversation with my brother before.
Like, I'm like, yo, I'm like, yo, when somebody, when you feel the, when you feel the, you know what I mean?
When you feel the crazy coming on, like, how do you want me to let you know?
Like, how you want me to let you know I'm sensing it so I could tell you and we could go figure this out.
We got a comic friend who's bipolar.
We tell him banana split whenever we're worried that it's safe word.
I need your period safe word.
Werewolf Movies and Full Moons00:02:27
Yeah.
Right?
You need crazy safe word.
I tried, I was a period safe word.
So I was like, yo, I was like, yo, all right, boom.
Now that you're sane, you know what I mean?
Is it with the McDonald's?
Definitely, definitely not.
Definitely not.
You can't hear it, but bad, ba-ba-ba.
I'm hating this.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm dying.
So I'm like, how do you want, you know?
And then she tells me, no, just you don't have to say you're doing this because, but you can bring it up as a suggestion.
And I listened to that because it was before the period.
They're logical beings before the period, right?
So we're watching.
Nah, son.
Nah, son.
Now, mine is logical, smart.
Like, on, you know what I mean?
Shorty, you got it.
The fucking goblet movie is on, right?
And in the goblet movie, one of the teachers is a werewolf.
And when the full moon comes every 28 days every 28 days on the full moon, right?
Every month, every literal lunar calendar, the full moon comes, and then the teacher uncontrollably turns into a savage werewolf that cannot be reasoned with at all.
A monster, if you will.
A monster, if you will.
And I'm like, this shit ain't about wolves.
This is about wombs.
This is about periods the whole time.
This is about wounds.
Wombs.
Oh, my God.
Son, the werewolf is the period the whole time.
They made it about men so that women wouldn't know that we're talking about them.
That's good.
But in reality, it's always been about women and periods.
And that's the only thing funny to happen.
That's great, though.
In Japan.
That's a great bit.
There could be something funny to it, but bro.
Oh, son.
You know how crazy it is to have that conversation when you're in a fight and you're like, yo, you realize this is not a fight tomorrow when the moon is not full?
Oh man.
Jesus Christ, I gosh.
Yo, y'all didn't know Schultz in a relationship.
He be having relationship material, dog.
This is funny.
Handling Relationship Drama00:07:38
Nah, he's nah, he's this is much more like handling it like much better and all that, but he be having material about it.
Well, we all yesterday, I saw him.
I mean, that's true.
Can I say one thing?
Can I say one thing, though?
This is how smart this fucking shorty is, right?
We're in this fight, right?
You know how the fight always becomes some other shit that I heard about the fire.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
But I got certain things that are like no-go's for me.
Like, you can't talk about career, I'm being busy, or none of this kind of shit.
I'm traveling, none of those things.
That stressed me out.
We don't even discuss those things.
And she started and she starts going, like, I understand that, but you know, there's certain times where, you know, when you feel insecure, certain things are a little bit more volatile than they are when you're not feeling insecure and you're feeling completely insane.
So, like, in those moments, what is the best way to just articulate my feelings so I could get the validation that I need to feel good?
And then realize this chick is getting me to agree to a way for her to complain.
This is a genius.
This is fucking shit.
As soon as you said it, I was like, oh, she got you.
Holy shit.
So here I am explaining to her how to complain to you.
Complain to me.
She's good.
I like this.
I like her.
She's good.
That's good.
It's good, though, because otherwise she's just going to listen.
I'm going to be honest.
If you don't give her that, it's just going to build.
Good.
Yup.
Yep.
Build it.
Build the wall.
It's good till it blows up, son.
Span one damator.
But yeah, no shit.
That shit builds.
Let me tell you something.
If you're not with a white girl, ain't no building.
That shit is all floods.
It's going to build.
Get you a proud shorty, and it's all floods.
So I saw him yesterday, and I was like, yo, I was like, oh, how's the trip?
He was like, he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, Japan was good.
I was like, no, no, no, no.
Like he went away with shorty for the first time.
How was the trip?
You're going to fight.
Yeah, like, I'm not going to lie.
It was the best trip I've ever taken in my life.
I mean that 100%.
It was by far the best trip I've ever tried.
You're going to have taken my life.
Yeah, yeah.
100%.
That's good.
It was like, it was a mind-blowing experience in a lot of ways.
Japan was unreal.
And I mean that sincerely.
And she did all the shit I don't want to do.
Like, she found the cool restaurants, the cool places.
I don't want to do that.
I'm not trying to be.
Yo, and also like she's young.
You want to do it, but you don't want to book it.
You don't want to Google it.
You want to do it.
You don't want to go through it.
Son, that's something I realize.
You need the person you're with, got to like doing the shit you hate doing.
That's your teammate.
That's how it's boom.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's got it.
They got you.
Y'all can't, bro.
So figured out all the shit, knows the dress to show to the taxi driver, so I don't got to fucking Eden.
Shut your fat ass up on your phone, son.
What the fuck, dog?
Was that your gums?
It's my knees.
Japanese people eat on their knees too.
All right.
Listen, is there anything else?
Are we just having a venting day?
Is that what's going on?
Oh, man.
Good for you.
No, if you travel, you're going to fight.
It's like you said, even living together, you go to work, you have breaks.
When you travel together, it's you.
Yeah.
It's y'all.
We did good, bro.
We had one.
It was just one the whole time.
Some button.
Last day.
Same, me and mine.
Same.
It's almost like y'all need to get it out.
So we're going to go the whole time.
Real time.
We're going to go the whole time without fucking.
Hey, you're going to get my money's worth.
No, I'm just like, Alex cannot wait to contribute right now.
I'm waiting to see about this call.
Let me see.
Oh, fuck.
I forgot.
We got advertisings.
Oh, yeah.
Let's do these mids.
We got to get these mid roles.
While you look at that up, do you guys run the red light?
What's that?
Fucking the girl in the parry.
So, you know what, man?
Son.
There's a grace period.
Yes!
Something out of here, Dodge.
So that is really the way to combat PMS.
Dead ass?
Because they be hornier too?
When they talk too much, just whip your dick up.
Just whip your dick up.
That's it.
They shut up.
She'll used to have a bit.
I don't know if you ever did it, if it was just a premise, but he said something like, they say women are horny in their periods and they get hornier as they age.
Isn't it ironic that the times they're horny are just the times we don't want to fuck them?
Oh, yeah, Are they horny or do we just not want to fuck them so they want to fuck them?
Yeah, it's like now you know what it's like to be a guy.
You want to have sex all the time when nobody wants to fuck you all the time.
Oh, man.
Yeah, there's a, yeah, okay, that's good.
That's a good thing.
Son works every time.
Yeah, but then you got to, you know, I'm sexing on her.
It's, it is a, it is a thing.
That period is a fucking thing, man.
It is.
Yeah, you just do it in the bed.
You'll do it right in the bed, huh?
After, after shower.
Why not just do it in the shower?
Nah, that's dangerous.
Like you used to slip?
Yeah.
Yeah, bro.
You're trying to break both your hips.
You crazy for that one, bro.
Yeah, really?
You got your fucking interps come on the floor like you right, bro.
I didn't even think about it.
Slippery went nutted in.
I'm so old.
I want to get like one of those things in the shower so you don't slip just for me.
Oh, that little mat shit.
For the longest.
Since I'm like 16, I threw one of those things.
Being black, too dangerous to take other chances.
I slipped one time, bro.
I would never do that shit again.
Y'all, yo, y'all.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We could just insert the ads at the end.
I know, buddy.
They're going to think we just edited that.
Nah, it's me trying to figure out how.
I'm mad proud of myself because I fuck a lot for how old I am.
Okay.
Like, I don't like fucking all the time.
Okay.
But I knew when I was on, I'm on the vacay.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's just me and Shorty.
Yeah.
She's going to expect some dick.
Yeah.
So I was trying to ration.
I actually didn't even mind Jiro.
I just pretended to be angry just so we didn't have to fuck.
Audio Mac Curation Secrets00:03:07
Fuck this, babe.
I'm on the bed.
Can't be up right now.
Mouth all hot from wasabi.
I can't do nothing.
Oh, my God.
Nah.
Oh, fuck.
But in all seriousness, man, it's like.
Y'all gotta get a different side of Shultzy, man.
I like Sprung Schultz.
I knew it was something where this motherfucker was coming in Birkenstocks.
I'm like, oh, man.
Oh, man.
He likes this one.
Did I tell them?
Did I tell the story about what we're going to do to Mark?
Yes.
So funny.
You didn't tell me.
You told me.
I'm going to say it out here because he's going to tell you.
You're not going to listen to this.
Nah.
You're not going to listen to this.
We'll tell the flagrant fans so they know to watch it.
So them white ones, though.
I ain't wearing them shits.
Yeah, they're fire, son.
Son, they're fire.
He got to be white Birkenstocks.
I guess my black skin, I'm going to look like fucking...
That's going to look hot, though.
That's going to look hot.
You buy off-whites all the time.
You got all white, off-whites.
Your girls are white.
Yeah.
You don't like all white shit.
You hear what I mean?
Why?
She's Swedish.
You know how white?
You gotta be like meatballs.
Alex is going through it, son.
My man, I'll going through it.
You going through it or what?
Real talk, man.
We could have done that.
Y'all, y'all figure out.
All right, guys, we're going to fill you in.
We got to pay bills.
All right, let's take a break for a second.
We got some bills to pay.
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Blue Chew Sponsorship Break00:09:11
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Crumble up that chew.
Sprinkle it on that toothpaste.
Start brushing those teeth.
Brush your teeth for a good 10 minutes.
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But I'm telling you, this new way, when you put that blue chew in that Colgate, when you put that blue chew in that Colgate, son.
You've done this.
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Yo.
When she was on El Video.
No, You can't bust that down.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
She caught that on a plane, bro.
She got that on a plane.
But real talk.
You got the business and business class.
No, no, no, no.
Though we did.
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Oh, she caught that on the floor, guys.
No, no, no.
The period.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So all I'm saying is, bro, that motherfucking blue chew, dog.
That little sprinkle?
I put some sprinkle, bro.
I put a little bit of sprinkle.
I put that sprinkle?
Hey, bro.
It sprinkled on there.
Dog.
Dog.
Brush them up.
I don't spit out.
I don't spit out the toothpaste.
That's wild.
Take it down.
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This is why I've been shaking my head no the whole time because I'm like, you're not even consuming it.
You just brushed your teeth and washed it out.
Gut it.
Why don't you just take the pill, son?
Say what?
Just take the pill.
I know.
What the fuck is wrong.
I don't know dog, I really don't know.
You know it tastes fine.
Can I be honest with y'all?
Can I be honest with y'all?
I don't know, I don't know.
Okay, if this is just me being a candid, can I be candid?
Let me be candid.
Honey mustard.
I put that shit on the fuck.
You know what it is?
Because it pill crushed a little bit.
Yeah, it crushed a little bit, because it was in in travel.
I was in travel, transit or whatever, and So I took it out and I was like, what do I do with this little crust?
And I had put that Colgate on the toothbrush.
Beautiful, like in the commercial.
You know, that little swoop.
I had that swoop, son.
And I had the swoop almost act like a little spoon.
That little swoop?
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Excuse that little skew.
Right?
You might need a little skew.
So I put that, I put that honey muster.
I put that honey muster.
I put that blue chew on there.
Honey muster.
Son.
Gutted that Colgate.
Gang, gang, bro.
It's not even a blue chew.
Bang, bang.
Bang, bang, gang, gang, Akasha.
It's not even a game.
Dude, it's not even a fucking...
I need blue chew.
You be hogging it all.
Yo, my bad, son.
You're right, son.
I'm going to give you some chew.
That's on me.
That's on me.
That's my bad.
You need one too?
No.
Shout out to the asshole who came up to me at one of my gigs, pulled out a blue chew.
He was like, yo, bro, you down for it right now?
I was like, I was really hoping he wasn't trying to fuck me.
Women, he came.
He asked me.
That's right.
You want to share a blue chew?
He wanted to share a blue chew with me.
It's like gay ecstasy.
Apparently.
Just offering you a shit.
But shout out to him.
Was he gay?
Was he straight?
I think it was mad lit.
He was very drunk.
And he was like, he was just trying to relate, connect with you.
He didn't realize how awkward that that way.
In the future, son, just throw an asshole up.
Chuck the asshole up.
Which I appreciate.
That's all you need to do, bro.
Because sharing blue chew with your boy, that's a little bit odd.
I don't know what y'all going to do when that happens.
I don't know.
Eddie got proposition.
I don't even know it.
I didn't think you were a good DJ until right now.
Yep.
Like when a motherfucker comes up to you, when your DJ is so nice that a guy doesn't want to just give you regular dick, he wants to chew you out, bro.
You know how nice you got to be a DJing, bro?
What did we say your DJ name was?
DJ Obese?
No, What did we say your DJ name was?
I don't know.
Stay in my lane.
Yeah, that was funny.
We were doing that shit.
We be bullying Eddie, bro.
I love you, though.
All right, son.
Real talk, bluechew.com, okay?
You go to bluechew.com, bluechew.com.
You use the offer code Flagrant, okay?
You're going to get it free.
Free sample.
You pay $5 shipping.
Free.
Best bonus of your fucking life.
Show your girl the night of her life.
Impress a girl you haven't slept with.
Come through with the fucking hammer.
I'm not playing around.
We've been killing it with this partnership.
The asshole army and Blue Chew has had a partnership and we've been fucking murdering it.
So go out there.
Go chew somebody out.
If you're a girl, get your man to chew you out.
You deserve it.
You part of the asshole army.
You keeping it tight.
Let him make it loose.
Simple as that.
Simple as that.
Get out there.
Live your best life.
Bluechew.com.
Offer code Flagrant.
Make it happen.
Let's get back to the show.
Yo, we got some shows coming up.
Akash, why don't you start it up?
Yo.
Talk to the people.
First of all, this Thursday, that's two days from today, me and my homies, the Brownish Comics, are at New York Comedy Club on 85 East 4th Street, 8 p.m.
Show.
Come through.
It's hysterical.
Also, I'm going to be on tour, the big Basie Energy Tour BDE in the building.
We're going to Houston September 6th, the Secret Group at 8 p.m.
September 7th, we're in Austin at the Fallout Theater at 7.
We're back there the next day at 8.30.
September 13th, we have two shows at Piano Fight in San Francisco, 8 o'clock and 10:30.
The 19th, I'm in LA at the comedy store Belly Room.
They have apparently switched their ticket service, so no matter how much I harass them, they aren't putting their tickets online.
But we're going to figure this out.
The 20th, we're in Portland at Curious Comedy at 7:30 p.m.
October 11th, Minneapolis.
Sisyphus brewing two shows, 8 and 10:30.
Come through.
I'm nice.
Get there, son.
He's nice, yo.
Don't play around.
Fuck with your boy Akash.
All right.
Guys, surprise pop-up show today.
This is coming up today at New York Comedy Club.
Schultz and Friends.
Come by tomorrow.
What do you want to come?
Are you doing anything tomorrow?
I got a few shows.
Yeah, New York Company, what time?
9:15 is the time I showed.
Put me on this show.
Where at?
New York Comedy Club?
Which one?
Oh, Gramercy.
I might be there anyway.
I got like an 840 spot there.
No, no, that's the show before.
Okay.
So you're okay.
So yeah, that's going to happen.
That's a surprise show.
Usually I don't talk about the shows I'm doing in the city unless there's like a big headline show, but there might be some tickets left for this one.
If you hear this in the morning and you're in New York City and you want to pull up, pull up.
Holla at your boys.
It's going to be a fun lineup.
Very fun lineup.
Then we got Washington, D.C. this Thursday through Sunday.
We added another show Thursday night.
It's been crazy, man.
Six shows sold out.
We add a seventh show Thursday night.
That looks like that's going to sell out soon.
So get there real quick.
Get those tickets.
DC Improv.
Then Chicago, early show sold out.
We're doing a late show as well.
Thalia Hall Theater, beautiful theater.
We've got a few tickets left for that.
Go get that one.
Sell that real quick.
Moscow.
And then we got Australia, man.
The Australia shows Sydney.
The Sydney shows sold out.
So we started releasing more tickets.
Turns out the venue has more tickets, more seats available.
So they added some seats to it.
Thank y'all so much, man.
They didn't even expect you guys to sell it out.
So we added those seats.
Those tickets are available right now on the theandreschultz.com website, links for that.
And then we're going to be in Adelaide, Perth, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne.
Go check that out, man.
Get those shows.
And then there are more shows at theandrewSchultz.com.
Very excited about some new cities that we added to the show list.
Go check that out.
We will see you soon.
Peace.
Let's get back to the show.
Okay.
Eddie, shut the fuck up, dog.
What's so funny?
All right.
Yo, real talk.
This is an interesting thing that happened to me this week.
I've had a very interesting, interesting week.
But when I was in Japan, I'm at this clothing store.
And this dude in the clothing store, we're talking.
I got some shit.
And he was like, you know, yo, I know some parties out here.
He didn't say it like that.
I don't know how he fucking said it, but he basically alluded to having some parties out here.
Shadow Banning and Protection00:08:59
He's like, let me find you on Instagram and I'll do it.
I go to type my name in Instagram and nothing pops up.
That's weird.
Every time I've had it, my name has popped up.
It's weird, right?
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, maybe it's a Japan thing, dog.
Maybe it's just Japan.
I scroll down further after typing my whole name in it.
And then when I type my name with a space, Andrew Space Schultz, I don't pop up at all.
I'm like, what the fuck?
All these other people named Andrew Schultz.
Andrew Schultz spelled wrong.
Andrew Schultz spelled with an E at the end.
All these different types of Andrew Schultz, but my name don't pop up.
I'm verified.
I got 300,000 followers or whatever.
I'm like, this is weird.
I type my actual name, my whatever, Instagram name, my name.
That shit pops up, right?
But it pops up below the scroll.
Yeah.
Right?
So if you go on Instagram, a window of names pops up and you got to scroll down on the window to find you.
Yes.
Right below it.
I'm like, that's convenient.
That's convenient that my name doesn't pop up when you first put it, but you would have to scroll down to find it because who would ever scroll down?
I was like, hmm, that's something weird.
Then I got people starting to tell me that they can't find me on Instagram.
I got people starting to tell me they can't add comments to my stories.
And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
I ask about it, and apparently I got shadow banned.
Shadow banned is Instagram's way of saying, hey, behave.
You did something that apparently users didn't like.
So we're going to punish you.
You've been a bad boy.
Right?
People like when you tote a company line.
Now, I'm not going to say, I'm not going to say that this is related.
All I'm saying is I find it convenient that the week that the week that like, you know, the most famous rapper is DMing me, the week that Kevin Hart repeats the Eddie Murphy take I had about the pay-per-view.
Verbatim.
Verbatim.
And he didn't say it as if it was his.
He was like, someone was saying.
Oh, he said that?
Yeah, he said.
Someone was saying, someone was saying about.
I would hate it.
No, no, no.
He said someone.
He didn't know who I was, but that's fine.
But like, I find it coincidental that the second I start reaching the top of the biz, I get a little spanking.
Because motherfuckers are on Instagram every single day shouting hate speech, lying fucking crosses on fire, doing racist shit, alt-right shit, anti-Semitic shit.
Like people just screaming that through the rooftops.
Wilding.
Wilding, right?
Push fighting women.
You know what I mean?
Like there's crazy shit on Instagram every single day.
Not shadowman, but all of a sudden I'm shadowman.
And I think it is a combination of an opinion that they might not like and influence.
They'll let uninfluential people say whatever.
You start to show some influence, and they're like, ooh, we gotta quiet that shit.
Yo, be careful.
Chill the fuck out.
I go, okay, that's fine.
Hopefully the shadow ban gets lifted.
If y'all know anything how to do it, someone said it might take a couple weeks.
I don't know.
If you guys know anything about it, please let me know.
It'd be nice to get rid of it.
That being said, I Instagram about it.
You guys had my back.
Everybody was reposting stories, this kind of shit.
I might be the only person that during the shadow ban increased followers.
All of a sudden, I start to realize this is not the first time it's going to happen.
I've been waiting for this.
Eventually, we're going to reach a certain level of notoriety or influence where they're going to try to clip our wings.
And the only way to navigate that, the only way where we can maintain the flagrancy and maintain our real estate in this market and what we're doing is if we have direct connection to you guys listening to the podcast.
Has to be direct.
So I hit up Akash.
I'm like, Akash, we need to get an email list going right now.
Akash sets up this email list.
You can get the link for it on the Twitter, the Flagrant2 Army, Twitter.
It's Flagrant2 Army or our Flagrant 2 Instagram.
It will be in both of the bios right there.
We'll also both tweet it out and Instagram story it.
But basically, the only way to protect the relationship we have is if we have direct connection.
Because at any point in time, Instagram could be like, bye, Schultz.
Bye, Akash.
Bye, Flagrant 2.
At any point in time, Apple or one of these companies could say, oh, you can't do that podcast anymore.
You guys say it's just wild shit.
We are at their mercy right now.
And the only way that we can maintain the relationship and what we have going is if we have direct connection.
This is not for us to.
Can I say something?
Please go.
A thought that scared me as a guy who was homeless eight months ago before we started it.
Patreon could say immediately.
Hate speech.
You're done.
You're done.
In a second.
Deplatformed.
Deplatformed.
Because they've done it to other people.
And they're doing it to me for jokes.
Think about that.
I don't do political shit on Instagram.
If you look at my Instagram, it's only jokes.
I understand deplatforming a motherfucker because they're like truly trying to put a hateful candidate in office or a hateful agenda out there.
I have jokes.
Yeah.
We're talking about deplatforming, not deplatforming, but a shadow ban because of comedy, literally everything we're fighting against.
So the only way that we can protect ourselves from these things is to set up these email lists.
You guys give us your email.
We're not trying to inundate you with fucking emails.
The last thing we want to do is even send you emails.
We just want to have a situation where we can connect with you guys.
God forbid we get taken off.
We can shoot an email to everybody, be like, yo, we just got taken off this.
We started up another account.
Go listen to the podcast right here.
We want to be able to connect with you if, God forbid, something fucked up happens, and then immediately we can shift over.
How powerful would that be if the entire asshole army could shift to another platform in a fucking day?
That's some shit they can never take away from us.
That's leverage.
That's the game.
So do us a favor, do yourselves a favor if you want to continue this.
Go connect to those email lists.
Give us your email, sign the fuck up so we have some protection in this very scary age where literally your entire platform could be taken away from you in a fucking heartbeat because we gotta maintain the level of flagrancy that we fuck with all the time or else it ain't fun for us.
And the only way we can maintain that is knowing that they can't chop our heads off at any point in time.
Right.
Simple as that.
So go do that.
Okay, I think now we should have a conversation with another person that's been shadow banned, another person that I find absolutely hilarious, another person with insider information on this whole Jeffrey Epstein thing.
We're going to call my man Tim Dylan.
I'm going to pass his phone over to Eden.
His number is, you see that on the call log right there.
And we're going to have Tim explain to us exactly what the fuck is going on with this Epstein quote-unquote suicide.
I think this is the first time in history where universally people are starting to subscribe to conspiracy theory as a real entity.
Universally.
Yeah.
Where the conspiracy makes more sense to end the story.
Yes.
Conspiracy is mainstream.
Yes.
So is it even a conspiracy?
That's a good question.
Hey, Andrew.
Yo, Tim.
Well, looks like the CIA has gotten involved.
Shut us down immediately.
There it is.
Hold on.
Let's see.
We got we got you, Tim.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, buddy.
It's all good.
Guys, everybody, this is Tim Dylan.
You, Tim Dylan, hilarious comic, amazing podcast.
Tim Dylan.
Now, is it the Tim Dylan show or is it Tim Dylan goes to hell?
Tim Dylan Show.
Okay, you've changed the name.
Yeah.
Hilarious podcast.
Tim, Tim has had quite the week because you've been somebody that's been very vocal about the Clintons' involvement in fucking underage girls.
Well, yeah, I mean, I'm a conspiracy guy.
I'm plugged in, probably to an unhealthy degree to what's going on.
But, you know, Saturday morning, I think, was my, you know, Christmas when Santa Claus, who looked a lot like Hillary Clinton, came down the chimney.
And the chimney was the air vent of a jail cell in the Metropolitan Detention Center in Lower Manhattan.
And she came in and had the milk and cookies and then strung that motherfucker up and killed.
No, it's a story that I've been following for a very long time.
Epstein Island Wealthy Guests00:03:11
And you say to yourself, when a guy like this gets caught, you go, there's no way they're going to let this go to trial.
They've got to kill him, right?
And then he gets killed.
And then, you know, you're like, this is it.
I'm right.
You know, I've been proven right.
Now, give us some backstory on Epstein and this whole situation because I think people are still trying to wrap their heads around what this is, why people want him dead.
Yeah, I, for one, know next to nothing about the whole Epstein thing.
So, yeah, Akash is a perfect example, I think, of a lot of people out there that truly just don't know much about the story.
They're just like, okay, a guy was a pedophile and they got killed.
Pedophilia is white people shit.
This is white shit.
You know, let's get real.
In his culture, they call it marriage.
Yeah, right.
In your cultures, this is not even a big deal.
You don't have to go to an island.
You just go right in the church or the temple or whatever.
Now they freed a nation like this.
Yeah, God bless you.
That's all Epstein was trying to do is free the Bahamas.
That's all he wanted.
Jeffrey Epstein is a very wealthy guy.
He is a resident of Manhattan.
He acquired his money in a very interesting, shady way.
Basically, this guy that owned Victoria's Secret named Les Wexner.
He's the owner of Victoria's Secret, gave Jeffrey Epstein a lot of his money to manage because he said, you know, him and Epstein met.
He seemed to like Epstein and he gave him a lot of money, including a townhouse in New York City worth about $70 million that Epstein lived in.
A little suspicious, right?
A little bit, you think?
Yeah.
I mean, listen, this has got to be a real good friend to be giving somebody a $70 million count.
So immediately you think, like, what are those two guys bonding over, right?
Like, what are they both into?
Sports?
Probably not.
So he meets Epstein.
They start to make a lot of money.
Epstein also has this island in the Virgin Islands called Little St. James, which is, he owns it.
It's a private island where he has a mansion, a pool, a temple on the island, or a building that looks like a temple.
And, you know, Jeffrey Epstein invited people to this island.
He was a socialite.
He threw lavish parties.
And at these parties, he had underage girls performing sexual acts on wealthy, powerful people.
And I don't mean like wealthy people like they own a BMW.
I mean like billionaires, ex-presidents, prime ministers.
These were all in Jeffrey Epstein's orbit.
And Jeffrey Epstein met all those people because he had a friend named Gislaine Maxwell.
Gislaine Maxwell is a UK socialite whose father was a media mogul.
CIA Blackmailing Powerful People00:04:43
He owned newspapers like Rupert Murdoch.
He was the Rupert Murdoch of the UK before Rupert Murdoch.
Correct.
So he owns, and he was also an asset of Israeli intelligence, widely believed.
There's books written about this.
Seymour Hirsch, who's a great journalist, wrote a book where they say, you know, Robert Maxwell is an asset of the massage.
So for people that don't understand what that is, basically, when you have a spy agency like the Mossad or the CIA, they need people to help them.
Okay?
These people don't necessarily work at the CIA, but they are useful for the CIA.
They can provide the Mossad with information.
They can put information in their newspapers that the Mossad might think is beneficial for Israel or whatever.
So they usually like to have powerful people as their assets, as people that they can use as a way to disseminate information or collect information because that's what these agencies basically do.
Okay.
So his daughter, yeah.
How do you now, how would an agency get powerful people like that to do their bidding?
Well, great question.
And how they do that in many cases is they compromise or blackmail those people.
So that's what agents do.
A spy, the job of a spy is to get information.
And the job of a spy that's in the field, let's say, you're a field agent.
You're out there.
You're trying to recruit people to give you information.
You have to have leverage over them.
Otherwise, why would you give you information?
Right.
So one of the ways that they've been doing that is sexual blackmail, setting you up in what's often called like a honeypot, where you're, yes, maybe you're cheating on your wife.
Maybe you're cheating on your wife with a prostitute who's a male or transgender or underage.
Whatever the case is, they allow these things to happen.
They organize these things and then they get, you know, recording equipment, video equipment.
And, you know, Jeffrey Epstein, in his house in Manhattan, they found two-way mirrors, recording equipment, video equipment.
Probably all coincidence, right?
Probably all coincidence that he was gifted a $70 million townhouse that just happened to have CIA-level recording equipment.
Probably coincidence.
But so basically, and listen, if you are having sex with somebody who's underage and there's proof of that, you are now owned.
You're owned.
So the reality is you give whatever information that is required of you.
You do the bidding of whoever has that information.
Whoever has that tape owns you.
Now, Tim, being owned isn't all bad because sometimes being owned allows you to rise to power because you have the backing of these very powerful owners, right?
Because they know you do what they own.
And these exactly like Akash said, why would you let somebody get power and influence if you didn't control them?
Right.
And this has been going on forever.
And by the way, this wasn't even the CIA and the Mossad and MICS, all these intelligence agencies, they actually didn't pioneer this technique.
It was pioneered by the mafia.
Right.
So organized crime has been doing this stuff for a lot longer, probably than the CIA.
So the reality is a lot of the stuff that intelligence agencies do is borrowed from the mob.
Right.
Because it's an effective form of blackmail.
And who wants to be exposed?
And especially when the cost of not being exposed, when the cost of not being exposed is quite low.
Hey, do you want to be president one day?
Yeah.
Well, we'll help you do that.
And here's the other thing.
So the people are like, people listening might be like, well, why does the CIA care?
Why did the CIA go into all these trouble to get information?
This, that, and the other thing.
Here's one of the reasons.
The CIA is not only an organization that is, you know, spying on other countries to make sure that they're not trying to do us harm.
Okay.
The CIA, for a very long time, has been in bed with big money.
Major corporations, they want certain political realities, okay?
Clinton Abuse Conspiracy Theories00:13:31
Right.
And if you're a billionaire, you are not going to trust that the Congress or the Senate is going to necessarily do the right thing by you.
And if they do the wrong thing by you, they're going to lose you.
billions of dollars, which is no good.
So what you do is you try to basically fix the game as much as you can.
You try to buy all the politicians you can by donating to their campaign.
And when that fails, organizations like the CIA help you control those people to the degree that they can.
It's been going on for a very long time.
And that is why you have the Central Intelligence Agency or the Mossad or MI6 or French intelligence, whoever these people are, they are doing the bidding of very wealthy, powerful people.
And that is why they're basically allowing some of this really heinous behavior to go on, like the abuse of underage women and men.
So my understanding, and maybe this is a conspiracy theory, but do you guys remember when those pictures of Mike Pence when he was younger in a gay bar popped up?
No.
I've heard something about that.
I didn't see them, but.
And people are like, oh, it was Photoshopped.
It was Photoshopped or whatever.
Now, regardless if it's Photoshopped or not, there's a perfect example when you're sitting there, you're like, how the fuck does a guy like Mike Pence end up becoming vice president of the United States of America?
Well, I'll tell you.
Right.
Oh, did you show the picture?
Yeah.
So it's like, I'll tell you how he gets that.
It's you have this, you have this wild card, Trump, that's running for president.
So you need somebody close that can kind of have some, you can have some doorway to Trump in some way.
I don't believe Mike Pence ever had no fucking six-pack like that.
Fans, I can see it.
You think Mike Pence has had a body like that?
Bro, he bikes, bro.
He's on the bike.
Yeah.
I mean, you look at, if you, if you look at Bill Clinton, who was the governor of Arkansas and then became the president, you're like, Arkansas is a state with what, four million people?
Like, who gives away?
So there's a perfect example, right, Tim?
I was talking to my buddy, right?
The first, when you talk to people who do not believe in conspiracies at all, the first thing they'll say about this Epstein thing is they'll be like, why would a billionaire or why would a super successful person, a billionaire, et cetera, go to this island and not assume that they were going to be honeypotted or trapped, right?
And I think that.
And basically what I thought of is they're not, Epstein and them are not trapping the elite.
They're trapping the government.
No, they are.
They are.
The elite, listen, the elite traps, the elite know it's never going to come out.
Here's the thing.
The elite know that they're potentially being trapped, but it's mutually assured destruction, meaning that everybody, including Epstein, is trapped.
Everybody has information that can get released.
So what happens?
Nobody gets released.
Right.
What I'm saying with a guy like, for example, Clinton and that kind of shit, Clinton is going there before he's the president, right?
No.
He's going there as an ex-president.
No, Listen, they are, all of these guys are being black.
They could have information on Trump.
Like, it is very possible Trump, there's some information that somebody has on Trump.
Like, listen, all of these guys, but here's the deal.
The information never comes out as long as everybody plays the law.
Why?
Because they run the world.
Jeffrey Epstein's dead.
So it doesn't matter.
It's like there is no justice.
There is no day in court.
There is no comeuppance.
None of it.
Like, so, yeah, these people know.
And by the way, some of them don't know that they're being, but they're not, they probably aren't shocked to know that there's recordings and videos of the things they've done.
But they know as long as they keep doing what they're doing, that information is never going through.
So if you're somebody who's going to fuck an underage kid, you're going to expect that that's going to come with some hazards, right?
So if you engage in any type of risky behavior, there are workplace hazards.
If you do drugs, you know that you could OD.
If you drive fast, you crash.
If you fuck kids on an island, you know somebody might find out you're doing it and hold it over your head.
But you want to fuck the kids.
You want to do the drugs.
You want to drive the Ferrari.
Successful people, a lot of them have very deviant sexual appetites.
And bro, it's impulsive.
They might be like, yeah, I shouldn't fuck this kid because I'm probably going to regret it.
But they act on impulse.
These people are on the spectrum of sociopath in many cases.
And what happens?
Does it ever come out?
Not really.
Look how close it got.
This guy was in a maximum security prison in lower Manhattan a few weeks away from his trial or months away from his trial.
And he was on suicide watch.
They took him off suicide watch.
They move a few hours before he dies.
They move his roommate out and they either allow him to commit suicide or kill him.
Either one doesn't really matter.
But guess what?
There is no fucking testimony.
Nobody's getting anything.
So what happens?
No consequence.
So what happens?
What do you think happens next?
You know, I hate to be cynical, but be cynical.
You know, football starts.
We all start to lose interest.
The ball comes around.
You know, I mean, no one's going to care.
Jeffrey Epstein was the only person named in the indictment.
They're not going to indict Gislane Maxwell.
She's a British citizen.
She's intelligent.
I mean, you've got to remember, this is not the first time Epstein was arrested.
He was arrested for molesting a 14-year-old who was covered up.
Alexander Akasa, who was the Secretary of Labor under Trump, who just stepped down, arranged a plea deal for Epstein where Epstein served basically a year in a minimum security prison in Florida and was allowed to go home five days a week and probably look at child porn or whatever he's doing.
He could go home to work, quote unquote, work five days a week.
This was a deal he got, and he didn't have to inform on any of his co-conspirators.
But then people at the Miami Media Herald, certain reporters, they started kicking up interest in the story.
Some of the victims were like, listen, we were never informed of this agreement.
We never would have went along with it.
So he was rearrested.
And then he was, you know, he could have informed on very powerful people.
We're talking about prime ministers of countries, ex-presidents, billionaires.
These people can get any.
And when they killed him or allowed him to kill himself, what they're really sending the message, they're saying, we will never, ever, ever allow this information to get out.
And here's why.
Because if you realize that there's elements of the government that are depraved enough to allow the abuse of children to continue so that they can get information, then every single conspiracy theory immediately comes believable.
Then you look at 9-11.
Then you look at everything because you go, if they're going to let them fuck kids on an island, what aren't they willing to do?
Wow.
Wow.
So it's bigger than just this.
It's bigger than this.
It's so much bigger than this, dude.
It is the key that will unlock everything, and it will make people question everything.
And then everyone will go, wait a minute.
If they're willing to do that, there's nothing they're not willing to do.
We're all being lied to on a daily basis all the fucking time.
Why are we at war in five, seven countries?
You know, let's investigate all of these things.
Boston bombing, like, who are these people and who's running us?
Who's ruling us?
And they don't want that to happen.
And in order for that not to happen, they stack bodies.
They've got to stack bodies.
The illusion of democracy and freedom goes away if this comes out.
I think this is the biggest deal of anything coming out because it's the most heinous thing you can imagine.
The abuse of children to most people, even cynical people, even people that think politicians suck and they're all bought.
But the systemic, by the way, not random, the systemic abuse of children, torture of children, because that's what you're doing when you make somebody have sex over and over with somebody they don't want to.
The fact that anyone would go, the fact that people that were presidents, the fact that people that were prime ministers would participate in that, or even at the very best, I mean, the very best case, know what's happening and do nothing, that would shake us to the core.
Do you think that Bill Clinton fucked those girls?
I mean, do I think Bill Clinton is asking for ID?
Probably not.
And do I think that Bill Clinton, I mean, he's been credibly accused of rape.
He's a sexual deviant.
I mean, this is a guy that his entire career has been, you know, sidelined by complaints from women that he harassed them.
And you've got to remember, the Clintons tried to destroy these women that told, you know, authorities about Bill, told the press about Bill.
Kathleen Willie, Jennifer Flatt, like the Clintons had an organized, dedicated campaign to destroy the lives of these women so that they were turned into national mockery.
They could never work again.
I mean, these are not people that have any problem with destroying people.
You think the Clintons got some bodies?
Yeah, but I don't think it's the Clints.
I think the Clintons work for people.
The Clintons are functioning.
The Bushes are functioning.
This is what really fucks people up that are into conspiracies.
They don't really get there.
The Clintons and the Bushes are the servants.
They're the public face.
The real people behind them, billionaire families, the Bronxmans, people that know the DuPont, people that no one's ever fucking barely heard of.
These are the people that pull the major strings.
They decide if the Bushes and the Clintons have the resources to run in these races.
These are the people that are really calling the shots.
And the Bill and Hillary's, you know, George Bush and George H.W. Bush and his son, these are people that are, they're wealthy, but they're not nearly as wealthy.
You've got to remember, the Bushers are not as old money as some of the other families that they represent.
The Bushes started making money in the early 1900s.
We're talking about people that have been wealthy for centuries and centuries.
Do they hide their money?
Is there a reason we don't hear they do pawns on the world's wealthiest list or whatever?
We hear Bill Gates, we hear Jeff Bezos.
You would think they would be the ones pulling crazy strings.
Well, there's a lot of hidden money out there.
There's a lot of families.
To feed into conspiracy theory, are they basically hiding their money because they don't want that publicity?
And saying, like, look, I don't want to be one of the richest people.
I don't want to.
I mean, I think you could find them.
I think you could find them on a lot of those lists.
I think there's a lot of intermarriage, so names might have been changed.
But I mean, when you talk about conspiracy theories, none of that's conspiratorial.
I mean, the idea that they choose who runs the country is not really a conspiracy.
I mean, go look at the donor lists of any of the major candidates who ever become president.
They're all there.
I mean, it's pretty well verifiable.
Who did Obama work for?
Everyone.
I mean, every single family I mentioned.
I mean, Barack Obama was, you know, a great friend to Wall Street, a great friend to the military-industrial complex.
We were in seven wars.
We knocked over Libya.
We were in Syria.
You know, Obama was torturing Chelsea Mann, and he was prosecuting whistleblowers.
He had the CIA running an illegal drone war, you know, dropping fucking bombs on Akasha's family.
I mean, this is really, I mean, Akasha's cousin is playing soccer, and he looks up in the sky, he sees a flying death machine, you know, but no one cares because Obama went on Allen and danced.
They're actually my family's enemies, just so you know.
Just want a point of clarification.
That's it.
I mean, that's, listen, you're all the same to me, but I appreciate it.
I'm a white guy from Long Island.
There's only so much I can understand.
He believes in conspiracy, but not Indian and Pakistani differences.
Yeah, I don't believe in differences in brown.
Bro, this is so crazy.
So you think nothing ends up happening?
We all forget about it, and the world goes back to being run as it is.
Dude, I got to be honest.
I'm already tired of talking about that.
Really?
Well, here's the thing.
You start to realize people that get into conspiracies in the beginning think it's like a hit show that has a series finale, and that series finale is going to have all the things they want to happen.
Alan Dulles Architect of History00:03:21
That's really good.
So it's lost.
But what it really is, they think it's lost.
Here's what it really is: it's a soap opera that goes on for 20 years, and you age out of watching.
You give up.
You don't care anymore.
You just go.
You know, my grandmother used to watch General Hospital every single day, and then eventually she was like, oh, it's the same storyline over and over.
It's a loop.
You've got to realize, dude, the news is on loop right now.
Have you ever gone to see a movie?
And before the movie, you have all the ads play, and then they're on a loop.
You know, you get back to the first ad, and then that's the news right now.
It's like school shooting, celebrity does something culturally insensitive.
Trump says something racist.
Shooting in Walmart, back to a celebrity, back to some picture of horrible ICE potential.
Like the news for the last 24 months has been one big loop.
Yeah, even if we did find out, what could we actually do?
That's my question.
That's part of why I don't care.
What are you really going to do?
I mean, the people that designed this system, man, God, they did it.
Like the guy, James Angleton, super spy, when they started the CIA, as he was on his deathbed, Angleton had been in the rooms with Alan Dulles, all the guys that had started the CIA National Security State.
And Angleton had a great quote.
He said, listen, if you were in that room when we started this thing, he goes, you would be in a room with people you were surely convinced would end up in hell.
And then he took a drink of whiskey and he goes, and now I'm going to join them there shortly.
They know.
They know what they've been a party to.
What are your thoughts on Kissinger?
You know, Henry Kissinger is a war criminal.
He's somebody who's, you know, I mean, you know, Kissinger, Vietnam, I mean, Cambodia.
I mean, Kissinger is a very well-connected, you know, master of the universe type of guy who, you know, has really no problem with genocide.
Is he the architect of the modern world?
I think Alan Dulles is the architect of the modern world.
If I had to put it on one guy, I'd say Alan Dulles.
Really?
Alan Dulles.
Yeah, Alan Dulles was a guy who made the CIA.
And I usually don't subscribe to what they call the great man theory of history, meaning we put it all on one guy.
But I would say that Alan Dulles was an incredibly effective operator.
He was the first head of the Central Intelligence Agency.
He determined what that agency was going to be.
He determined the power and the scope of it.
And Eisenhower warned.
Eisenhower warned about the military-industrial complex.
Eisenhower warned about the CIA.
You know, we just had World War II.
We just fought Nazis.
Eisenhower was like, we shouldn't be doing this.
Kennedy warned about it in that big secret society speech.
Kennedy ended up dead.
And Alan Dulles, to me, is a guy that really designed that agency to be a secret government, not only just a spy agency, but an effective double government operating against the interests and the will of the American people.
Military Industrial Complex Warnings00:05:11
And it's been doing that for a very long time.
Against the will because it feeds the billionaires, basically, or helps the billionaires?
Yeah, I mean, I don't think anybody has an interest in a lot of what they do.
I mean, this is to help a very small segment of the population that own defense contract, you know, defense contractors, arms dealers.
The average person doesn't want to be at war in Afghanistan or doesn't benefit from that in any way.
The average person gets on a plane that ends up being flown into a building.
You know, the average person is a victim of these crimes to an extent.
Right.
Right.
I mean, the terrorist can't afford health care, can't put their kids through school because we've, you know, waged all these wars on a credit card and we've saddled the average person with an insane amount of debt, but very wealthy, well-connected people are doing great.
How do we stop it, bro?
How do we fight the system, Tim?
I mean, so this is when it gets a little bleak.
We're both shadow banners.
What are we going to do if we can't populate on the Explorer people?
By the way, if you think you're shadow banned, wait till this podcast comes out.
Here's the reality.
The only thing that would stop this, I truly believe, is some type of massive event that wakes people up.
And then the good people in these agencies, like the good people, the CIA, the FBI, because there are good people in those agencies, will have to wrest control from the dark forces, from the bad people.
And I mean, that's a question of human nature.
Like, what would inspire that?
Man, you're talking, that's philosophical, and that's a hard question to answer.
But it would have to be some massive shift in consciousness.
Well, let's hope this podcast is the catalyst for that, Tim.
I think so.
I mean, I'm confident.
I think we could change the world.
Tim, I love you.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule.
Thank you, guys.
Tim, give us your socials.
Give us everything one more time so they could go follow up.
Tim J. Dillon, D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter.
Tim Dylan Show on YouTube if you want to subscribe.
We're also on Apple Podcasts.
We're everywhere.
Wherever you get your podcast, we're out every week.
Full force.
It's a very funny show.
Every now and then we talk about, you know, some conspiracy.
Go check out Tim's Instagram.
He's got some hilarious videos that he does, these rants.
I mean, right when the Jeffrey Epstein thing first hit, Tim dressed up as a schoolgirl and twerked outside of Jeffrey Epstein's Manhattan mansion.
I don't know how you didn't get arrested for that shit.
And here's the deal.
That's probably why he killed himself.
All right, buddy, I love you, man.
All right, let it out.
Let it, buddy.
Peace.
Wild shit.
It's wild.
It's wild.
I don't get too invested because, like I said, I don't, pardon me, doesn't want to believe it because even if it's true, what can we do?
I think that you have a good perspective on that in that regard because it's like it's like scary to admit that sometimes, but if like if the problem is so massive and there's nothing that you can do about it, does it really help to just worry about it?
Yeah, and I think the idea that like your vote matters, that's like real cute, but like it don't.
So why invest?
Like my girl cares about politics.
She fucking cares.
And I'm like, yo, this makes no difference.
These are sociopaths.
They're going to do what they want.
I don't know that I get nearly as deep down the rabbit hole as some people, but like, yeah, there's definitely some ill shit going on and you're not going to stop it.
Right.
Turn off CNN.
Put on Sports Center.
It's fun.
It is fun.
At least I invested it.
It's only the distraction.
Yeah.
Give yourself some joy.
Come on, Flagrant 2.
Listen to some offensive jokes.
Yes.
Just tune out.
I barely knew anything about Epstein.
Anything.
And even little shit he was saying, I was writing down.
I was going to read it.
And then as I was writing, I was like, what's the end of me learning about Allen Dulles?
Yeah.
I'm going to become like fucking Tim torturing myself.
This guy's not happy.
He can't even button his polos.
Yeah, man.
It is.
Yeah, it is interesting.
Him saying that you just kind of grow out of the conspiracy.
That was a fucking great way to put it.
It's a soap opera.
It is that.
It's like, and maybe it is.
It's just a thing that people are bored.
They need something to distract themselves with.
And it's like, okay, I'll do this conspiracy theory.
And then, you know, maybe when your career starts to, you know, pop off, maybe, you know, Tim's killing it right now.
Maybe he's going to start leaving the conspiracy theory.
He's another Rogan Bump guy, right?
Yeah, dude.
Rogan, he did Rogan and just fucking.
He's always so fucking funny, Tim.
Yeah, dude.
He's great.
No, he's fucking great.
But, all right, listen, we've gone a long time without even discussing sports, guys.
What are we at time-wise?
Because we start almost two.
1:30 something.
Oh, that's it?
No.
No.
If anything more so, like, almost two hours.
Saudi Princes in London00:13:37
We're missing by almost two hours.
See how those are very different.
See how you gave me a 30-minute window of TV.
You shut the fuck up talking in the mic, dog.
You haven't earned grabbing the mic yet.
That's your son.
That's Alex grabbing the mic.
Wow.
So we are being harsh on you.
You got to come back or else I'm not going to be able to do it.
It's been a whole week of it.
So that I missed.
Oh, you missed us being here?
Of course.
Damn, son.
Oh, you guys.
Damn, son.
We got to teach Edin how to snap back.
I know.
What's a good, what's your go-to technique when it comes to snapping back?
I don't know.
I think you just got a rapid fire.
So whatever comes, you just go right out of it.
Just go.
Don't overthink it.
Just go.
All right.
You got to not overthink.
You just go.
Okay?
We're going to practice.
Ready?
Listen, you can't lose here.
It's just not overthink.
Just go.
Ready?
You're fat.
I'm what?
I can't hear you talking with my dick in your mouth.
Oh!
That was good.
That's a bronze response.
That was good.
That's hilarious that out of the two of us, I'm the one that has something in their mouth.
Nah, gosh, he's starving his ass off.
Oh!
That shirt don't fit me, but it definitely don't fit you, bro.
Let's go!
And it comes in with the heat.
That's all I got.
And it came with the heat, bro.
God damn, Ed.
We're proud of you.
That was good, man.
Anyway.
Now we instilled some confidence in this Beyonce-bodied Beehive body.
I disrespect Beyonce like that.
I meant Beehive.
I said Beyonce.
All right, what else we got, Archon?
Antonio Brown, dog.
Son, Antonio Motherfucker, this guy's wilding.
He really is wild.
Primadonna wide receivers are not worth it.
Put me up on this because I didn't hear it.
So Antonio Brown uses a helmet called the Shut Air Advantage.
It's over 10 years old, and there was some rule passed in the league last year that said we have to use helmets that are approved by some committee.
It's probably a bullshit committee, but you have to use helmets that are approved by them.
This helmet is too old to be approved by them.
It's not going to meet with their standards.
They let him play, him or Tom Brady, maybe both, play on outdated models last year.
This year they have to switch.
And Antonio Brown now has backtracked, but he was saying, I will retire if you don't let me wear this helmet.
And then he tried to appeal.
The appeal got denied.
And then he had a tweet like, hey, guys, it's, you know, I'm going to be there at camp.
This is a sad ruling, but whatever.
But it's like, yo, we don't even fucking need this, man.
Just shut up.
Like, are you on your period?
You're making a big deal about nothing right now.
Just let this breathe.
So what do you think this is about?
Why do you think he's become such a diva?
Does he feel scorned?
Where is this all the sudden we're seeing this side of Antonio Brown that we never saw in Pittsburgh?
No, you saw it in Pittsburgh starting a few years ago.
Once he got really good, you started to see it.
That's the reason he got shipped out of Pittsburgh.
They gave him up for like a third-round pick and a fifth-round pick.
I thought that you just saw it this last year or two.
Yeah, maybe last year or two.
I think three years ago, he got in trouble for fucking like Instagram live in the locker room after a win or something like that.
Is that that crazy?
It's just like, yo, don't let anybody know our business.
You don't need to know what I'm saying.
Fair enough.
He got in trouble for that.
It was just always a lot of like attention seeking.
Fair enough.
I don't know why, though.
Guy got great teeth.
Let those speak for you.
He does have exceptional teeth.
He's fucking incredible.
And he is an exceptional athlete, without a doubt.
You could see that.
He was like a fifth or sixth round draft pick.
So he was not.
Oh.
I think once he got a taste of the attention, he wanted it.
And then I don't know if he's a chip on a shoulder guy, but like he is a he's not supposed to be this good.
You know what I mean?
He wasn't highly touted.
He's not tall.
He's not a complete physical freak.
But like, he's an NFL player, so he is, but not relative to the rest of them.
Right.
Randy Moss, I get.
So not knowing too much about the story, like he, he comes across as just like a dumber version of Cap.
He's like, oh, the NFL is trying to make me do something.
I'm going to take the stand.
And he was hoping like people got behind him.
And he probably just got roasted.
Like, why the fuck are you taking this video?
I don't even know if it was.
And he just backtracked super quickly.
I don't know if he thought people would be on his side.
Maybe he did.
But I mean, players can get really attached to their helmet for whatever.
I mean, you're doing something at the highest level.
Like, if you're doing a special and they give you a mic without a cord, you might be like, yo.
No, I want the court.
Exactly.
But he definitely changed his helmet when he changed teams.
Same model, though.
Yeah, he's not talking about he wants to wear the Steelers helmet.
No, no, I know that.
I'm saying, I thought they'd like his lucky helmet.
They just repainted it or something.
No, no, but they got different helmets, dog.
They don't trade you and the helmet.
Son, why is he so extraordinary?
Hey, go into the range.
Take your shoulder pads.
I thought I'd never say this.
Eden, can you take the microphone from Alex and then just say anything into it?
That'd be great.
His lucky helmet?
He just got one helmet for the whole thing.
This is not rudey.
Son of you so attached to it.
He's so stupid.
That's such a stupid thing to be.
It's like, I don't know.
It fits a certain way.
It breathes.
Your head breathes a certain way.
Who knows?
At a certain point.
But like I was saying to Andrew, if they try to hand you a cordless mic at a show, you're like, whoa, what the fuck is this?
I don't like this thing.
I don't do cordless.
It feels different.
It's not what I'm used to.
I don't do cordless, bro.
All right.
What happened in Toronto?
What happened in Montreal when you went in front of 15,000 people?
A bomb.
It was the court.
Should have had a cord on that shit.
Did we get a show?
No, no, no.
The standoff is at this gala shit.
Oh, he left this part out.
No, no, no.
Son, this shit was funny, bro.
I did these guys named Preach and ABBA, guys who are funny guys from Montreal.
They did this massive show at JFL.
15,000 people outside.
Right.
I mean, it was insane.
Sea of people.
They didn't say that there were going to be families there.
This was the funniest moment for me.
Like, out there, this was the best.
So I went up and I started out with like a joke that was, I knew that with that many people, it had to be slow and obvious, kind of punchline and like time in between, couldn't be ranty.
You know, it was just like bumping up.
So I started out with that joke I used to do about the girls shave their legs, armpits, whatever.
Mustache, laugh, boom.
Yeah.
The next joke I go into the sharing a bed.
Already laughing.
Yeah.
Next joke I go into sharing a bed with a dude.
Funny joke.
Funny joke, but it's just straight cursing and talking about whatever like that.
Apparently, families are just walking away with their kids.
Yeah.
Like their kids are there and they're just the mobs.
They're just so upset.
Can I say something in Chelsea's defense, though?
Do not bring your child to the comedy show.
Yeah, but I think it was supposed to be like a family friend.
Why did they book you?
That's what I said.
That's what I said.
That's on y'all.
Y'all know what I'm tough.
Y'all know what I do.
Stop booking Andrew Dice Clay to watch your kids.
That's it.
So all I was doing was looking at the bands on stage because there was like a fucking 10-piece band.
As long as they were laughing, I was like, I'm killing.
Band was laughing.
The front ad people laughing.
It's 15,000 people.
You don't need to be.
You should have gone straight, Barney Mac.
Oh, I ain't afraid of you, motherfucker.
Kick that shit, did you?
Kick it.
What is he saying that said?
Kick it.
Kick it.
There you go.
That shit was so funny.
It was some when they told me that people were just walking away with their families, bro.
They got their kids fucking covering their ears and walking them away, bro.
I mean, yo, Canada's soft, dog.
I mean, I'd walk away with my kids too, but also they soft.
Yeah.
I mean, they would have done the same shit, but yeah, fuck them, bro.
Oh, but fuck them.
Oh, dude, it was funny, though.
Son, I'm so pissed off about this.
This one thing.
So they announced the Ruiz versus Anthony Joshua rematch.
And it's in fucking Saudi Arabia.
This is Anthony Joshua, I've been doing this.
It's a business move.
Make yourself more international.
No, it's not.
Nobody cares about the Saudi Arabia market.
This is Saudi Arabia throwing crazy money at Eddie Hearn, whoever's promoting the event.
Okay.
Because they've realized after having the WWE that these events in Saudi Arabia normalize the Saudi Arabians.
Ah, okay.
This is all the marketing idea.
That's what I said.
That's great.
All-market idea.
Right?
But the shitty thing is, it's a really cool fight, an anticipated fight.
Who the fuck wants to vacation for a weekend in Saudi Arabia?
Like, Muslims don't even want to do that.
Maybe you just want to get away from your girl.
You know what I mean?
Go to a place where she's not welcome.
Son.
Have you ever seen an Instagram thought?
They don't go to Saudi Arabia.
They go to Dubai.
You're thinking.
It's not to save shit.
Nah.
No, so here's the difference, right?
Think about how awful this fight's going to be.
Let's say you do want to go.
Guess what's not going to be allowed to be served at the fight?
Oh, alcohol.
Guess where you're not going to find anywhere?
Oh, you're not going to party.
Ain't no partying.
Ain't nothing in Saudi Arabia.
Saudi Arabia is whack.
But they put their oil, their oil, whatever it is, business on the public market.
So now they have to appease the public.
They have to seem like good guys.
That's why they started letting these bitches drive.
That's why they're trying to act like they're cool with women.
That's why they got movie theaters all of a sudden.
They just got movie theaters.
They just got movie theaters.
So now they're doing these public events.
It's all a hustle to make it look like, hey, look at how fucking cool and fun Saudi Arabia is, right?
We're just like, you invest in our oil business.
But now we lose as fucking viewers.
Like, that's a fight I would want to go to.
If that was in Vegas, I'm there.
I'm there if that's in Vegas.
Didn't you say you thought it was going to be Tijuana?
Or I was talking to the Estadio Asteco.
Oh, but you thought it was going to be a not-close fight.
You thought Ruiz is going to handle that.
I think he's going to handle it.
Now, here's the other thing.
Anything goes in Saudi Arabia.
Whoever's promoting that fight, which is probably Joshua's people, are paying off those judges.
And if it goes to the cards.
Oh, fuck.
Ain't no rules out there.
Yeah.
They don't let these bitches drive.
You think the judges are going to be honorable?
Fuck no.
It depends on the fight who dictates the rules.
I thought that Nevada.
They say that, but if I'm the people, the promoter gets, chooses the judges.
You got a baby bladder?
Yeah, right.
Go, go, go.
I could tell.
These motherfuckers.
Waddling in his seat, son.
The whole fucking, what's his name in every waddling?
So that's what I'm saying.
It's like on some level, you got to be pissed as a fan because you can't even take part in this fucking fight.
How much different is Saudi Arabia from Dubai, though?
Like, I really think all that places is that.
Dubai is fake.
Dubai is a fake Muslim country in a lot of ways.
Oh, word.
So what they've done is created rules about the city because they want tourism and they recognize ain't nobody want to go on vacation where they can't drink.
So what they go is, you can drink if you're in a hotel because that's international property.
So all the partying, all this shit pops off in the telly, right?
And they have these nice, extravagant hotels on some, you know, Vegas type shit.
I haven't been there, but I'm assuming that they have, you know, bars, restaurants, whatever.
So you enjoy the fuck out of your time.
You could be Western.
You're out there trying to get bitches.
But they still make the women cover up.
They're women.
If you're not Emirati, that's in the Emirates.
If you're not Emirati, you don't got to.
Son, an Instagram thought bitch can't wait to put on the fucking headscarf when they go over there.
Yeah, to show you they're there.
Yeah.
But I thought that because they're forced to.
No, they just want to show you that they're there.
You don't got to cover up if you don't want.
You can if you want to like respect their shit, but it's not necessary.
Now, when you're in Saudi Arabia, wrap it up, bitch.
Wrap it up.
Are they sending, are they like paying for Instagram thoughts in Saudi Arabia or they don't do that shit?
No, they leave Saudi Arabia to fuck the girls in Beverly Hills and do that kind of shit.
It's those Saudi princes that are the ones they get shit on a glass table.
They got all these thoughts meeting them in Dubai, this other kind of stuff.
But you're not doing that.
Those are the ones like in London with the Golden Bentley.
Yes.
They leave.
They leave out of school.
I got you.
They leave Saudi.
They go to London, floss on all the motherfuckers in London.
Just shit all over them.
They be shitting them.
Shitting on them.
And then in England, they let them do it.
I would cut that shit out.
I'm like, yo, you could come.
Don't come in a fucking gold Bugatti and just drive around.
Shit is literally.
Like, we ain't shit.
They sold them all their most valuable property and stuff like that, too.
That shit taps into my inner niggadem.
That's a part of me that's like, yo, that shit is fly as fuck.
Golden Bentleys and Stunts00:07:02
Hey, let me tell y'all something.
We ain't gonna let that shit happen in New York.
Don't come to New York with your fucking Purple Bentley or your fucking Gold Ferrari and act like you're gonna drive around the street and just stunt.
Because they ain't gonna get robbed.
Something happening.
Something happening.
We're gonna put some plantains in your fucking gas plate.
Say what?
You don't really see that here.
You're right about that.
They do come here, though.
Yeah.
Because I remember when I was out in the club scene, you'd have.
No, they come to the clubs.
They'll flaw us in the clubs.
Yeah, we're cool with that.
But you're not going to stunt on the street.
On the street?
Hey, chill out, fam.
It's like regular folks out there.
Chill out.
The club is the club.
People pay to get in.
So the shit might pop off.
I saw Penn Station.
You ain't pulling up no fucking around those goddamn goblins.
Nah, son.
Penn Station helped by the fucking escalator.
He's getting you.
He's getting you.
Zombies walking around the house.
I saw the funniest shit, son.
You know how there's this like big thing going on in Hong Kong?
There's like some controversy or some shit.
Like they don't like what China's doing to them.
Okay.
I was going to say this is another article from Homo Weekly.
Nice.
They save it.
Steven fucking Bucky's.
Hong Kong don't like what they're doing, like what China's doing.
So they've been doing all these protests for like a minute, right?
Okay.
And there was a protest.
Somebody posted a video on Twitter today, and it was a few Chinese people.
They cover their face so they don't do the Chinese government can't do the facial recognition surgery.
But a few people from Hong Kong, right?
They got the American flags wrapped around them and they got microphones and they're singing our national anthem, right?
Okay.
Trying to like show like, yo, we want democracy like America, right?
And I press play and I'm hearing the video.
All Santa Duzy!
Body dolls a lie.
Walt Ho Polly We Hair.
Proud.
Prowry Rehair at the Two Rights Ras Green Ring.
Son, I am crying, laughing at them fighting for their life, son.
Motherfucker sounds like Scooby-Doo.
I was crying.
This is it, son.
Is there a way to play it?
No, no, don't do it from here.
Do it from Twitter, B. Will we get marked if we do it from Twitter?
You might.
You never know.
Let's not even take the jail.
It's worth it, bro.
Go to Twitter.
Go to Twitter.
Can you play the audio?
Find the shit on Twitter, son.
What if we talk over it?
And then we talk over it a little bit.
But find the fucking audio, Akash.
And the Roman channel.
Stew dad.
Okay, he hit the head.
He's been practicing.
He's been watching Whitney.
Let's hear it.
Son, I'll add them slots.
All right, first of all.
All right, Anthony, obviously the best answer.
Ball handle your own business.
I mean, I'm tired when we got wars and shit.
Motherfuckers be like, oh no, we're busy making toys, you know, whatever the fuck they do, sewing North faces together and shit.
And then when you need a little fucking help, you start singing a national anthem, throwing a flag around your shoulders, freshly stitched flag.
I mean, they probably stitched them up.
Hell yeah, you got that shit from your niece.
Yo, how hard do you think they had to work on the L's and R's?
My man kind of killed that.
I think he might be a ringer.
Right?
He said gallantly.
Well, son, he said ramparts.
I could barely say that.
When the ramparts we.
Son, I don't know what a rampart is, bro.
He must have been.
Neither do I, really.
What is a rampart?
I don't know what a lot of them words mean, to be honest.
What's the Donderly?
I don't know what Donderly is.
That's not that shit as the light.
I thought Donderly plays for the Giants.
Ain't Donder Lee?
Hey, Jatavius Donderly.
Don't he play for the Giants?
What are you looking up, Eddie?
Stop looking shit up.
Nobody's more distracted than you looking shit up, looking for groupons for Burger King.
Fuck out.
Full price for you.
It took you that long to pull up the fucking national anthem lyrics.
Hold on.
Why Leigh Ann Rhymes, though?
Nah, nah, we're not listening to Leanne Rhymes' version of that cookie.
By the dawn's early light, you thought it was the Dondery.
Yo, get out of here, bro.
Bombs burst in the air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, Sada's that Star Spangled Banner Yet Wave O'er the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.
Son, that shit goes, bro.
Come on, we got our shit slaps.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, Al, you the best singer.
Oh, let that rip, son.
Let that rip, Al.
Let's see.
Let that rip, Al.
Stand up, put your hand over your chest.
Yeah, we go.
Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light?
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the peril fight.
On the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming.
Here we go.
And the rocket's red glare.
Bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh say, does that star spangled banner?
Take a deep breath, son.
Take a deep breath.
O'er the land of the free.
Get up there.
Get up there.
And the whole.
Spangled Banner Finale00:10:00
let's go.
We gotta close it out.
Just son, that's it, that's it.
Y'all want to with us?
Holler at us on the flagrant to Patreon this week we're gonna watch.
Uh, Eddie Murphy's latest, Yo, Patreon, our bad for that, man.
We were drunk.
We tried our best, bro.
We were trying to give y'all all the content.
We did try our best.
We know that y'all hated it.
That's our bet.
We're going to make it up to you, though, this Friday.
We're going to stand and deliver, we promise, but our bad, man.
We really tried our best.
We tried our best, bro.
We was a little drunk.
We were a little drunk.
I think it was bad.
Yo, that was trash.
Yo, we tried our best, bro.
People don't realize the amount of content we had to put out that week so that I could go away on vacation, man.
It was stressful, man, but we tried our fucking best, man.
We love y'all, Patreon.
Everybody get on board.
Leo Akash, anything else before we get out of here or what?
You tell me.
The WNBA fight, Kevin Durant let the Warriors off the hook.
Dak apparently wants 40 million a year, Draymond Extension.
And then nobody wants to play for Team USA.
These are the things that I had.
Man, I think we might have to.
I think we might have to continue on the Patreon and just lock this down.
Yo, if y'all got the New York Times, go check it out.
They mentioned your boy in an article, by the way.
Oh, yeah, you were supposed to get to that.
Yo, man, it was pretty cool, man.
I'll just throw it out there real quick, but it was pretty cool, man.
It was an article there talking about, you know, is Netflix the future of a stand-up?
And, you know, the headline of the article, I'll read the headline of the article real quick.
Oh, shit.
It goes, can Netflix comma, the king of stand-up specials, be dethroned?
And then go back up, go back up, go back up.
And then it says, the byline is Amazon is trying, starting with a new Jim Gaffigan set.
So is HBO, though it's more niche with acts like Julio Torres.
And don't count out YouTube.
If you go to the end of the article, got to show that full article.
Keep going, keep going, keep going.
They got the link to views from the cis.
Go up.
Go up a little bit.
Go talk about your Rogan, son.
It says, the savvy comic, Andrew Schultz, has built up a fan base outside the traditional media by putting himself in opposition to a politically correct entertainment.
Shout out to The Flagrancy.
Shout out to Flagrant 2.
But also dispensing with old hour-long show and releasing his content in multitude of bite-sized forms, appearing on the Joe Rogan podcast.
He predicted Netflix's downfall, pointing out that the streamer doesn't own many of its most popular shows like The Office or Friends.
Rogan seems skeptical, but Schultz's suggestion that the future might not be bright for the Zeitgeist defining company has moved from the margins and become common speculation among industry types.
Last month when Netflix tweeted it was sorry that Friends would leave its service in 2020, the comic retweeted with a pointed message, TikTok.
Now, what I loved about this was two things.
One, obviously, it's cool to show your parents that you're in the New York Times, especially as a New Yorker.
That's the epitome of making the first thing I did.
Show your parents, right?
Because this is what we did, right?
This is the other thing I thought was so fucking cool.
Everybody listening to this has been supportive of what we've been doing.
You should feel good about this.
The way in which we're mentioned in the article, right?
The article talks about what Amazon is doing with Jim Gaffigan, what HBO is doing with Julio Torres, and what Andrew Schultz is doing with bite-sized content.
So we're not spoken about as just comics.
We're spoken about as the HBO and the Amazon.
That's the subtle shit that to me I was so proud of.
It's like, look, what is HBO doing?
They're doing this type of special.
What is Amazon doing?
They're trying it with Jim Gaffigan.
What is Andrew Schultz doing?
He's using social media, YouTube, this, that, the other to get the content out.
And I just thought that was so fucking cool.
And I think it's really subtle and I doubt most people got it, but I think it's something Alex and you and I should be so proud of.
Everybody.
It's just like, and they didn't contact me to write the article.
They just put it out there.
I found out about it.
My agent hit me.
Wow.
So it was one of those things.
And I think people try to like pit me against Netflix because I predicted this down thing with them.
And like, here's the thing.
I don't have any stake in any of it.
Like, I put my content on Instagram.
I put my content on Twitter.
I put my content on YouTube.
I'll put my content on Netflix.
There's no enemies in business.
You put it out because they weren't fucking with you, but that ended up being good for you.
So why would you begrudge them?
Yeah, like to be petty, like that's what, who does that?
Like, that's what children do.
You know what I mean?
It's nothing about that, you know?
So for me, it's just where are the eyeballs, who's watching, and I want to put my content out because I believe if they see the content, they're going to come fuck with us.
But it is so fucking cool that.
You aren't opposed to the, you're opposed to PC culture and ruining comedy.
And that's what you're in opposition to.
That's a great way of saying it.
Exactly.
That's what we've been doing the whole time.
We love real comedy and we're going to put out real comedy.
And I think that we've affected the game enough where comics are feeling more safe putting out real comedy.
I truly believe that that was our effect on the ecosystem.
And so now we're in this fucking position, which I think is so sick, where like we get mentioned in an article like that.
Like we get mentioned in what are the new things happening in comedy?
What is HBO doing?
What is Amazon doing?
What are we doing?
Like how fucking sick is that?
Yeah.
It's fucking crazy.
Like it's just so fucking cool, man.
That's also cool.
Even if you.
There's two of us.
Three of us.
Right?
Like, I mean, shout out to Mark.
Mark is involved now.
You know, so it's like, we're being put up against these companies.
And it's like, and I was telling you guys this earlier, but like I even, you know, I spoke to YouTube and I was even like, yo, Netflix, Amazon, HBO spent millions of dollars.
Akash corrected me.
He goes, Netflix spent hundreds of millions of dollars to be mentioned in that conversation.
To be mentioned and known as legitimate places for stand-up specials.
And I had, and I spoke to my people on YouTube and I was like, I just want to let y'all know, you spent whatever it costs to host my videos to be mentioned alongside these companies.
That's the greatest bargain in history.
That's the greatest.
I legitimize your platform for stand-up.
We're doing great fucking work.
If there isn't, I don't know another David versus Goliath story out there, but we're talking about a few of us going up against the biggest, we're talking billion-dollar companies.
We're just going up against billion-dollar companies, and then we're starting to be mentioned in the same breath.
And not only that, these companies, when Netflix has a special come out, where do they put their videos out to promote the special?
YouTube?
On YouTube.
It's just crazy.
Anyway, so I think it's something that everyone listening, you know, you guys should be proud of because remember, our win is your win because without you guys sharing these videos and watching these videos, they don't even fucking exist out there.
So this is...
This is just crazy.
You know what I mean?
I mean, look, there's a video.
Like, Alex is hyped right now, but like your thumbnail is in the New York Times.
You know what I mean?
Like, this is crazy.
Anyway, we're very proud.
Y'all should be fucking proud because we're doing things that I don't think anybody in this business could conceive happening.
Like, it's just fucking nuts.
And I can't wait to the next step.
We're very close to announcing the next step where I'm very excited to share with you guys.
But we're about to change the game once again.
So I think in the next few weeks, we'll be able to give you guys details, maybe show you guys some pictures of what's about to happen.
And I'm very excited about it.
Very excited about it.
Akash, anything else?
Well, no, no, no.
Just anything we want to talk about.
No, there goes Bash, FaceTime, audio and me.
This motherfucker, don't leave me alone, dog.
I'm playing.
Bash been very helpful.
I'm fucking with you.
Actually, shout out to Bash.
Shouts to the patrons, all that.
Stories-wise, we're good.
Tours kicking off soon.
I got a show this Thursday.
We'll do dates with ads.
Oh, dates with ads.
Perfect.
Anything else?
Yeah, I think that's good, man.
Guys, that's been another episode of Flagrant 2.
This is Noisy Buckets.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
Do you know what I mean?
I do this with one of the greatest comedians working today, Akash Singh.
Absolutely brilliant comedic mind that now you guys are able to indulge in.
You know what I mean?
First clip out there.
Does 200,000 fucking views right off the jump?
You know what I mean?
That's big.
Off the jump.
I mean, that's serious work right there.
So make sure you look out for him.
Don't be the motherfucker that's late.
Get in there early.
Get on those tickets.
Those tickets are available.
That tour is up right now.
Don't say we didn't tell you so from the beginning.
All right.
Kaz, we love you.
We miss you, man.
Kaz, we love you.
We miss you.
We got your back.
You know, the asshole army got your back.
Whatever you need, you know, we're here for you, man.
So make sure you go show Kaz some love.
Make sure you go show him some love right now, man.
All right, man.
We'll see y'all Friday for Patreon.
And then we'll see y'all next week for after that.