Maya Higa joins the Fear and Wine podcast to debate generational labels, mock her basketball skills, and discuss domesticating bears for Oreo consumption. The conversation shifts to analyzing Sabrina Carpenter's "Man's Best Friend" album cover, addressing feminist critiques of its submissive imagery versus accusations of sexualization for male consumption. They recount the San Francisco Giants' hated "Crazy Crab" mascot assault and brainstorm a new "Peter the Pickle" character, ultimately highlighting how female artists face disproportionate scrutiny compared to their male counterparts regarding objectification and artistic intent. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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There are no defenses whatsoever.
Look how we just need to eliminate our entire ecosystem to make it a little bit different.
Their facial structure looks like smiling in the way that we look like smiling.
This was a very Austin show style moment.
What's up, everybody?
We're back.
Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the Fear Ann podcast, where we are joined by a very, very special guest.
My head is joining us again.
Thank you so much for being here, Miguel.
Again, we also have a full stack team.
The family is here together.
Gabe's here with Marsh is on a vacation.
Marsh is dead.
He died to self-suck.
He's still endorsing all the products that we're doing.
In fact, yeah, he's meeting with a lot of the brands that we have.
He's so zocked up right now.
Yeah, you were so insistent about firing up the pod today.
Do you have any topics you want to?
I do have a topic, but I'm not going to cover it right now.
For those of you that are on the edge of their seat about my take on the Air India disaster, we will be covering that in the Patreon.
I've been getting messages, emails, and everybody's like, cover it.
And nobody wants to cover it on their stream, which I respect.
I guess I could probably streamline it.
Austin has texted me and demanded that I cover it.
Or at first, it was like more of a gentle suggestion, like, hey, are you planning on covering the Air India disaster?
That would be quite, you know, I could come over for that.
And I was like, I was like, Austin, there's thermonuclear war that's unfolding.
I thought he could take a five-minute break.
Yeah.
And so my answer was, no, I'm not going to be covering that because no, he actually said yes and then never responded to me.
That's crazy because Hassan, I'm coming over tomorrow to do an uh to do like an animal game with Hassan, like a two truths and a lie, like just a fun like, what do you know about animals, Hassan?
He asked me to do that.
And there's like thermal nuclear wars.
Yeah.
So he's taking a break for that.
That's why would you do this to me?
I just realized this is why I said we shouldn't have my hair.
He also has a capio like this.
Yeah, he also masturbates on a laptop.
Did you know that?
I have, I know that and every one of your views.
And then he says, uh-oh, there's tummies on my tummy.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I've never said that.
Why are you acting like you were there?
Well, he's told everybody.
And then he's my fault.
And then he's on.
What?
And then he eats it.
I do it.
I'm like, yummy.
Ew.
I don't know anything.
I'm a serious political commentator, I promise.
I'm away with the local gabbado of everything.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Somebody was on CBS all of a sudden.
Thank you.
She has all the smoke.
I was on national news, everybody.
Yes.
Somebody made national news.
Georgie made national news.
Finally, someone on this podcast is on national news.
Thank you.
You're welcome for everybody.
So were you on national news?
Tell us about it.
They called you Gen Z.
They called me the Gen Z Jane Goodall.
I love that.
Are you even Gen Z?
Are you?
Yeah, the oldest Gen Z is 28.
I'm 27.
The fuck?
I didn't know that.
Wait, you mean I'm a borderline Gen Z?
You are.
Dude, you are not on the border.
You have crossed the border.
Bitch, I can't even see you.
You crossed the border.
You're so far from the border.
I just hear it.
I just paint you.
I just hear his fucking name.
That's a miracle.
The rest of us age up.
Austin shows age keeps going down.
That's crazy.
Is that crazy that Austin is?
31 years old.
I'm right there on the border.
I am.
I'm 31 years old and proud, Mr. 33.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm not Gen Z. How's that?
1990.
Yeah, you're not even fucking close.
Yeah, I'm a boomer.
That was a much of it before Will takes it away from me.
Yes, it's coming.
But Maya, I will help you.
I knew he was going to do that.
Perfect.
Nope.
Jesus Christ.
That was insane.
This one's perfect.
You didn't even try.
That was perfect.
How about this?
And perfect.
No, I'm trying to put you in the bottom.
Okay.
From Gen Z Goodall.
We one of the animals.
We interrupted her as she was telling us about her big moment on ABC News.
CBS.
I'm about a $4 bag of popcorn.
It's the best thing that's ever happened in my life.
It's so good.
It's actually, it is really good.
It's like very similar to movie theater.
Bill said he's going to take it away.
All right, Maya.
The fact that I have to be the ADHD police as the body.
I was literally one of the test kids in the nation for ADHD drugs.
And the fact that I have to reel this podcast is a joke.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
You see that?
So, Maya, you were on CNN.
Take it away now.
I was on CBS.
I said one more handful.
Cutie.
She said one more.
Don't say cutie when she's eating.
She has problems with that.
And I love horror.
You look at her hands right now and you tell me this is exceptional.
You think she has a problem with food?
Will, I don't love anything.
You bitch.
You know what you're doing.
You're using estrogen kung fu on me.
There's nothing I can say.
No, she doesn't have a problem with food, but the way she's eating reminds me of a fucking squirrel.
That's fine though.
I'm going to tell my therapist about this.
Are you going to show her how big the fucking the handful is?
Because she might also come to that same conclusion.
What do you want to talk about?
Tell us about CBS.
So I was on CBS.
Fake news.
So I was on CBS.
They came out to Alvea.
They did an interview.
They were like, they're using social media to do conservation education at Alvea Sanctuary.
It was awesome.
It was a two-minute segment.
I love that.
You know, my family and all the people over 40 in my life are stoked for me.
That's dope.
I love that.
Send us to Lake.
We'll drop a link in the description.
What are the people over 40?
Where's the bag of popcorn?
So I actually.
No, you don't need it.
Will take it away.
I want it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bitch, you want to get in my?
I want to get you in my tub.
You think I'm going to feed you?
He thinks that you're fat as well.
I don't think you're fat.
He thinks he's fat.
I am.
No, I'm fat.
Powell thinks Hassan and Cutie are fat.
I'm injured.
I'm fat and injured.
You're injured?
What the fuck did you injure?
Oh, he fakes an injury.
Because Bika, oh, now he's going to show.
Oh, God.
What did he do?
What happened?
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
The other side is worse, but you can still kind of see the.
What happened?
You're just showing tozies for nothing.
Oh, yeah.
People can't.
People on camera can't see it.
Context for everybody.
Wait, what happened?
Hassan had to fake an injury because I asked him to ball again because I came to LA and he is, again, scared to play basketball against me.
I was to save you because I saw how hard you got your shit pushed in.
Oh, that last clip.
Gabe, can you roll the clip of Maya playing basketball and getting fucking destroyed?
What cool?
You brought a clip here?
Yeah, I did.
Okay.
Maya Higa basketball fail compilation.
That's great.
You play basketball, Maya?
I love basketball.
Yeah.
Me too.
Really?
No, I don't know.
I'm just trying to fit in.
I love fitting in.
That's the one.
I wonder if this is the TikTok.
Well, no, not that one.
That's not the one.
No, you should play this one.
No, no, no.
I think this is a good one.
No, no, no.
Show the one that you know.
The actual.
Wait, is it on live stream fail?
Maybe you're not doing very good news right now.
Yeah, you're bad at this.
No, yeah, no, you should watch that one too.
I think that's also a good thing.
No, it's not on LSF.
It was on Twitter, but they don't think they actually name her in it as the victim.
Damn.
It's actually.
What are you even talking about?
What clip?
The one where your ankles get busted.
I've never had my ankles busted by anybody.
I've watched it and you get flipped off in the process.
Oh, Tevin.
Yeah.
Yeah, look up Tevin.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this is.
What are you doing?
This is where he's just, he really wants to prove that.
What is he doing?
There's no game is sweating.
Gabe, forget it.
I suck that in after.
And we'll.
Yeah.
I'm going to find it and I'm going to send it.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
But you keep going.
Keep going.
No, what do you mean?
Keep going.
You're going to be on the phone.
You can only do one thing at a time.
I've never seen you multitask in your fucking life.
Keep shooting.
So look up the clip.
No.
And we'll all wait.
You're being held hostage.
No.
We're moving on.
By fucking popcorn.
Mike, give me the gun.
And you're petty grievance.
Give me the gun, Maya.
You found it.
This is the one.
We need the gun.
We need the gun.
Okay.
Context.
I was drunk here.
There's no way you're playing basketball without me.
You're so big.
I can't believe that.
It's a minute longer.
It's not about this life.
I'm telling you.
I was drunk here.
Okay, but look at that.
Okay.
Oh, what was this?
I love the game.
I love Flavi.
I'm so bad at basketball.
Come on, Nina.
This is such a waste of everybody's time.
I mean, I know.
I wish we could just get to the good part.
So far, I'm actually really good at basketball.
Domesticating Bears00:04:13
I want to find something.
Yeah.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, no.
Here it is.
Yeah.
And he flips you.
He points to you as well.
Oh.
That's my own editor.
Oh.
That was perfect.
You had this locked and loaded on your fucking TikTok page and you just hid it from us.
Anyway, it's insane.
I was on CBS.
I'm really proud of it.
Nice.
We're really proud of you too.
And we do apologize for John trying to take your moments because we could also make a highlight reel the last time I saw you play basketball.
I actually want to talk to you about something, Maya.
So you've kind of become an authority on animals on our platform.
Okay.
And usually when I have a dangerous or dumb take about animals, people will be like, Someone call my ass.
But I had this theory.
You know, tragically, the American black bear has had a lot of its endemic space encroached upon by humans in the last, you know, hundred or so years.
True, true, true, true.
It's very tragic.
And they find themselves more and more in suburban settings, eating Oreos, swimming in pools.
And I was thinking as a solution to this, we should domesticate bears the same way we domesticated dogs.
Yes.
If we start now, hundreds of years from now, our ancestors will thank us for beginning this process.
I am a brave, soothsaying future seer.
Revolutionary.
And we can start by just letting these bears in our house and giving them Oreos.
I don't think that letting bears in your house is a good idea at all.
I don't think they speed bear it.
Because of the liability, it's very dangerous to let a bear in your house.
Also, Not going to want any other animals because he's the chillest animal of all time.
I mean, I didn't say that, but Hassan has this fantasy that he can rizz up a bear.
He's so stupid.
He has this fantasy.
He can think you're a hater, and I think that I could vibe out a bear.
That's what he thinks.
We would just sit on the couch and eat popcorn.
That bear would maul you.
Yeah.
You couldn't.
Big news.
Austin.
I said I can't.
Will that topic lasted three seconds?
Wait, keep going.
Keep going.
Why is it bad?
Why is it bad to have a bear in your house?
Because one, the bear could kill you.
Two, if the bear kills you, then they have to euthanize the bear.
Right.
And then there's just not like a trial.
The nuisance bear thing is really sad.
Like, like a bear at court or what?
Like, what if it was self-defense?
Like, you go to bear court?
Yeah, actually, no, I'm on Austin's side.
Yeah, I think it's just a little unfair.
Okay, this is what happened.
Picture this.
Hassan has a bear living with him.
Yeah.
And then they're in the living room, and she's eating his popcorn.
And so he slaps out of her hand.
Yeah.
And the bear kills Hassan.
Thank God.
And then what?
So the bear just gets euthanized?
Well, I think that that would be like okay to get euthanized in that situation.
But what if let me change the situation?
Okay.
Hassan and bear sitting on the couch.
Bear reaches into Hassan's popcorn.
Hassan pulls a gun on the bear.
The bear's not going to know it's a gun.
What do you think is going to happen?
What if he knows?
What if he does?
You don't know that.
The bear hasn't had his day in court.
Yeah, and the dogs can use those little things now.
Like a bear.
Oh, see?
Why him?
And the bear pulls a gun on Hassan.
Yep.
No, no, the bear didn't pull the gun on Hassan.
That's the violence.
I thought we were having a civil debate here.
Anyways, if we start breeding the most adorable bears, right?
How many hundreds of years would it take to make them smooth?
No, I'm not in favor of that.
Wildlife wild.
No, no, I'm not in favor of breeding, but I am in favor of just like picking the chillest bears.
Let nature run its course in the same way that like, you know, maybe early on the wolves that were the dopest.
In a few hundred years, we got teacup chihuahua bears.
Dude, dogs and cats are enough, guys.
We have so many domesticated species of animals.
We got dogs.
We got cats.
Let's let the bears decide.
I'm sorry.
The bears have decided.
The bears don't want us.
But they are pudding.
Will brings up a good point, though, because like it seems like the bears are deciding to live with us.
Yes.
Breeding Chillest Bears00:02:49
Because they just keep coming down to the street.
They don't like us.
We moved in.
Yeah, we moved in and they have food.
Okay, okay.
You know what?
You make a good point.
Thank you for being a wildlife expert.
What about otters?
No, leave them alone, dude.
We don't need to domesticate anything.
How about deer?
I love deer.
Deer!
Leave the deer alone.
Deer?
Half animal inside?
I don't know how to defend you.
Okay.
Deer?
I'm going to tell you for helping you.
Compromise.
Compromise.
You've made a good point.
I no longer want to domesticate bears or otters.
What about raccoons?
Because their stock is going up tremendously.
They've been smoking crack.
Oh, my God.
I'm trying to be on your team, but there is a crack.
What if you give a crack to raccoon, to a raccoon?
Yeah, they know how to smoke crackpipe.
They probably die.
No, there's no small.
Nope.
There's cracky mix, crack smoke.
It depends on how much crack you give them, I suppose.
But raccoons are like, people do not understand.
I've done zookeeping for raccoons, and they are like insane.
They're so dangerous.
They can just like rip the flesh off of your legs.
Like they're a lot and they're so messy.
Like they get in water, they get it everywhere.
Did you ever get the comment that you're keeping all the good animals for yourself?
I've said that.
And you're gatekeeping it for the common.
Yeah.
No.
You could get a cow.
Like, you could get a cat.
Get a horse.
It's too hard.
Hey, guess what?
I already own a bull.
Guys, I want to take a second.
Sorry, I'll let you have your second.
I don't know where it came from.
I don't know if you guys know this, but it's summertime.
What?
Yeah.
And in the summer, I like to get entertained.
How do you get entertained?
I like to get entertained.
Well, I'm actually going to go to the Doobie Brothers soon.
And for that, I use SeatGeek.
Have you guys heard of SeatGeek?
I did.
I was just looking for Olivia Rodrigo tickets on freaking SeatGeek because her concert's next week.
I don't have tickets.
I'm freaking out.
I'm freaking out, Will.
Well, don't freak out.
Oh, okay.
Because we're here with a special hookup.
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You can use our exclusive code to get a percentage off 10% off your tickets for Olivia Rodriguez.
Any tickets?
On SeatGeek.
Yes.
Any tickets on SeatGeek.
That's what I'm told.
That's crazy.
The code is Fear.
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That's code Fear 10.
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But no matter how many times you've bought tickets using SeatGeek before, Fear 10 is going to get you 10% off your next order.
Wow.
Wow.
Yep.
And I just want to digress.
So as you were saying, I already own a bull.
I don't know.
I didn't know.
Where do you own it?
I have a rodeo bull.
Where the fuck is your rodeo bowl, Will?
SeatGeek Ticket Code00:08:49
Where is it?
I'm not going to tell you guys.
Wait, are you hiding it?
Yeah, maybe.
Oh, my God.
I had no idea.
My family owns a rodeo bowl.
Damn, is it just out there?
What is it called?
It's got it.
What's the name?
God, it's something.
I think it's like tantrum.
It's something dope like that.
Tantrum is such a funny name.
You want ironic would name your child that.
Tantrum is a funny name for a little dog.
Yeah, I'd like that name.
But listen, I'm glad you're an animal expert, and I think everyone should listen to you.
Raccoons are not.
The best part of being an expert is defending your positions against, you know, a pretty reasonable line of questioning.
Yeah.
And raccoons, they have storms and they love trash.
But she says that you do not want them in your house.
It's not fair for them to be in your house because they want to be freaking outside.
Wait, do they?
They want to live in the water.
What if he just wants to be in the house?
Yeah.
But you chill like that.
Yeah, I feel like you're speaking for raccoons and you're not one.
I don't think you're a raccoon.
Thank you.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Second line of questioning.
Oh my God.
One animal that is domesticated has to go.
Which one?
Yeah.
You're one.
We're giving him back to the wall.
It has to go extinct?
No, we're giving him back to you.
I know your answer.
I know your answer.
We're giving him back to the wild.
Birds.
Like people with stupid ass parrots.
Oh, parrots.
That's a good answer.
Parrots are living.
Parrots are crazy.
They live so low.
They outlive their owners, right?
Yeah.
I went through a phase where I wanted a bird because I wanted one.
And I just realized that I just wouldn't.
They convinced me out of it.
I actually brought a story based on this exact topic.
It was a lead-in, right?
Because obviously we agree with you, right, guys?
We don't think.
Oh, no, I know.
We don't know the animals should be domesticated.
I have an exception for cool ones.
No, no, no.
Please, please, please, please.
Cool ones.
Are you going to talk about it?
Did you see the story that happened recently in Texas?
Oh.
Escape Zebra.
Oh, I saw this.
There was a couple in Texas that bought a zebra.
Yeah.
And they had like a waist-high fence.
Yeah.
And the zebra escaped.
Yeah, well, pulled us up.
And look at how sad he is.
Look at how sad he looks in this.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
He was in the wild for months.
He escaped.
And then they finally got him.
In Tennessee?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, Texas.
No, but the couples in Texas played.
Oh, my God.
They ran all the way to Tennessee.
So play this clip of him.
How did he eat?
I mean, that's sad.
That's kind of fucked up.
That's horrible.
Okay, don't they just run?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I need to say something.
Wait, why did they pull in one of those trailers?
Wait, just give me a second.
Give me a second.
We live in a society in which we have militarized our police force and they let a fucking zebra go across multiple state lines without catching them.
I don't think it's that's easy to catch a zebra.
They're pretty fast.
We have helicopters.
They run from lions.
How do you think a helicopter is going to catch it?
It's just in the sky.
I know, but keep track of it.
And then what?
That's so cool.
Hold on.
Imagine you're driving down.
You're driving on the highways of a fucking zebra next time.
But like, I mean, come on.
We're like, you know what I mean?
We got laser beams in our military.
We can't catch a fucking.
Can you ride a zebra?
But I wanted to tee you up.
You couldn't.
Because in this country right now, you can own zebras.
You can own kangaroos.
You can own a bunch of...
In some states, it's legal, but that doesn't mean that you should.
No, that's what I'm saying is to anybody out there who is considering buying an exotic pet, why shouldn't they?
Because it's unfair to the animal to be in captivity.
It's lame to breed animals for like lives in captivity, like exotic animals for lives in captivity.
And a lot of animals, we don't know how it affects their wild populations when they're exploited by the pet trade, and that's a huge bummer.
And then generally, we have so much knowledge about like how to take care of dogs and cats well.
And we have so many vets that are like there to take care of dogs and cats.
It's a very serious answer.
Yeah.
You can't take your zebra to Banfield.
Yeah.
No, that's a real, that's a real problem.
And so they get like subpar care and we don't know how to take care of them.
And then they get a bunch of medical issues.
I mean, what's a good way the average person can support animals, wild animals?
Bowl Vega Sanctuary.
There we go.
Yeah, like and subscribe.
Now, but we have to get to one.
I brought one more thing.
Okay.
And this is very serious.
All those previous animals were a lead up.
Because have you heard of the quoka?
No.
Please pull up the quokka.
Oh, oh, oh, poor Gabe.
I'm sorry.
I'm a dyslexic piece of shit.
So the quokka is the cutest animal ever to exist, ever.
Pull up the video, please.
And they only exist in one island, like off Australia's coast.
Have you heard of a quokka before?
Yeah, you can mute this and just, we can look at the quokka.
So they're known for being the smiling rodent.
Yeah, wait till you see their face.
They love human beings.
They are incredible.
They've driven up.
This is a crappy quokka video.
They're trying to make them look wild and not cute and amazing.
Oh, God forbid.
Get like a local news story, please, Gabe, so we can see how cute they are.
They've driven up tourism in this area.
There you go.
They're the new barrack.
So my question is this.
They're the it girls.
Invasive species are really bad.
Okay.
But I think that potentially we should eliminate one of our native species to give the quokka a chance to thrive here in the United States.
Oh, that's that's not.
Let me go.
I mean, come on.
Wait, what are their natural predators?
No, well, they're everything.
They have no defenses.
They have no defenses whatsoever.
Look how I'm going to be able to do it.
So we just need to eliminate our entire ecosystem to make it a little bit different.
Okay, pause.
It's not like their facial structure looks like smiling in the way that we look like smiling.
Well, it's not the same.
No.
He doesn't feel anything.
It looks like us smiling.
So we want to be like, ooh, smiling.
But like, that doesn't mean that he's happy and smiling.
Number six literally says smiling.
This is cute and funny moments compilation.
Right.
What do you want?
Like sad moments?
You want to watch it?
You want to have pressure?
You want to know what doesn't have a cute and funny moments compilation?
Sharks.
Let's eliminate them from the answer to crazy.
I learned sharks are just misunderstood.
What?
Talk to them.
Are you a shark?
Did a shark tell you that?
Let me tell you, Maya, you correct me if I'm wrong because you're the expert, but sharks are actually not the enemy of the sea.
You know who are the enemy of the seas?
Orcas.
Us.
Orcas.
Oh, us.
No, us.
No.
You can talk about.
Dolphins.
What?
No.
No, invasive species.
Like zebra mussels.
We're the problem.
And guppies.
Oh, we're the problem.
I didn't think we were the race.
Oh, okay.
We're the problem.
They have laws.
They have laws.
But I thought there was a like the dolphins are more aggressive in this country.
I'm trying to set you up, but you're losing them right now.
What do you want me to say?
You can't replace, you can't take out a native species and put in an invasive species and be like, nice.
Okay, but sharks are scary.
Sharks are scary.
Sharks are scary to us.
Maybe you shouldn't be in the freaking water.
And the quokkas, well, that's why I avoid the water.
Okay, that's fine.
I'm going to be honest.
This is the first time I've allowed myself to be willfully stupid, and it's liberating.
It's fun.
It's liberating.
Welcome to the Republican Party, baby.
Yeah.
Anyway, guys, go check out Alvea Sanctuary.
Support them because they're actually doing good animal work and they don't have stupid takes like us.
Yeah, don't let Maya being a buzzkill stop you from enjoying all the good work that Alvea Sanctuary does.
She still wants the quokkas to come here.
She does.
That's crazy.
Maybe we could rescue a quokka.
Yeah, if there was one in need of rescue.
Oh, if you find a quokka in need of rescue, I will fully fund every piece of that effort.
Okay, good.
I will remember that.
I wish I had a big quokka.
At this point, I feel like we're breaching ethical boundaries.
No, you can do that.
What fun and it almost feels like we're now looking for an exotic animal to purchase.
Oh, no, this quokka's entire family was killed by a gun.
I've got a cat question for you, Maya, now that we're talking about animals.
That's crazy.
I need to transport my cats down here, but I'm wondering if I should drive them or fly them first class.
What the fuck is your cat?
Cats First Class00:14:57
I think you asked them if they like trails 18 nuts better.
No, it's 18.
Oh, no, I think.
No, they serve a meal on the plane.
I'm not going to feed them, though.
I think you should fly them and just gab them up.
That's what Gaba Pentin pennies.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to bring a nurse into my.
I'm going to go back to Oregon.
I'm going to bring a nurse into the house.
Yeah.
Get their blood work, get them a full checkup, order them some gabapentin.
Yep.
Shoot them with it.
They have to do it.
You can do oral.
Yeah, they need a checkup.
They have to do blood work.
They need a checkup.
Why do horses get all the best drugs?
I'm just, I'm not asking to answer that.
Cutie.
What?
What do you want to talk about this week?
Do you want to hop into Girly Pop Nation right now?
I feel like we've put it behind the paywall too much.
I feel like the girlies want the Girly Pop.
I don't know.
And we have grey.
Hello.
Okay.
Girl, what the fuck?
No.
It's so bad.
Girl, it's a lot for it.
Girly pop.
That was bad.
What's on Girly Pop Nation today?
Okay, we've got a few things to talk about.
We've got to talk about Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover.
My favorite.
I'm going to say 10 favorites.
No, because it's a good topic, and it's going to be very, very polarizing.
Okay, let me.
Maya's already loaded.
I'm fighting for my life over here already.
You're already loaded in one direction.
How do you feel about this album cover?
Because I have no thoughts or feelings.
I don't want to go first.
I want to go first.
Yeah, I would like a song to go first.
Wait, I haven't seen it yet, so I want to get my reaction.
Okay.
I'll give you my honest opinion.
And whatever that is, it'll be the more popular one.
Gabe, are we friends on Discord?
Are you on Marshes?
Yeah.
I'll let the man start the conversation.
Oh, great.
You didn't want to do it.
All right, I just didn't like the way you said that.
Okay, you do it.
I was being a joker.
After you, I was being a joker.
No, please, madam, you start with Sabrina Carpenter Discord.
I don't want to.
I would love for you to do what a man tells me.
I don't feel like it.
It's not my place to demand anything of you.
All right, make it.
You should go second place.
Okay, I'm going to do that because I want to.
I might want me to just pull up your work album first.
Fuck.
She's wise.
I'm back.
Sabrina Carpenter came out with a new album, and the album cover and the album art is being panned by a lot of critics.
It's quite controversial.
The reason for why it's seen is quite controversial is because, as you can see, he's about to top that guy off.
Yes, Sabrina Carpenter is.
Oh, for those of you at home listening, Sabrina Carpenter is on all.
No, I think this is a decision that she made.
It's a creative decision she made.
No, Austin, you should go first.
I should go first.
It's a creative decision that she made.
And I believe that if the album's name is man's best friend.
I didn't know that.
Oh, like the dog.
You know what?
I'm going to reconsider that.
I'm going to say that.
This bitch pivoted.
I think although she's a woman and I support women and everything that they do, I do believe that just because she's one woman doesn't mean that she should be able to say for all women.
And right here, I think that there's a lot of things that are a monolith.
What is that?
Yeah.
No.
I'm not saying that.
What I'm saying is...
That women deserve to be in a submissive position.
No, I think that if they want to be in a submissive position, they should be entitled to it.
So you like the album art.
I think that...
Because it's a woman who made this decision.
She made a creative decision to be in a submissive position.
And man's best friend.
It is a little interesting.
Are you saying women?
Are you saying that maybe Hassan's a person?
I don't think women exist to submit to men.
I really don't.
Are you saying that women and men feel like that?
That was so face.
I don't think women exist to submit to men.
She clearly has made it a central focus of her album to submit to a man who's a man.
Are you as a man criticizing a woman's artistic decisions in her own ambitious creative project?
No, absolutely not.
Because it seems like you are criticizing the choices that she's making, the creative liberties that she's taken.
If she wanted to maybe make a statement about how women are treated as objects of sexual desire, it kind of feels like my client's gay.
Thank you so much.
You can't let the record show.
Yeah, thank you.
So then people can yell at him in the comments and be like, this is a man.
You know what?
I'm going to start just yelling at you in the comments.
I'm going to start clipping shit out of context, Asana.
I'm going to make a man.
You've been doing that.
You do that every week.
No, I'm all done out of context.
Okay.
Okay.
I think Hassan should go first.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Sabrina Carpenter, for those of you at home who didn't actually hear us describe this because you're listening, Sabrina Carpenter is on her knees and a man is grabbing her hair.
She's on.
She's also touching this man's or gesturing towards this man's knee.
Okay.
You can't even see the man.
You can only see the bottom half of his body.
And a lot of people got very offended at this because of the obvious patriarchal constructs that objectify women with relentless tenacity.
And they said Sabrina Carpenter is not elevating women, but instead sexualizing herself and leaning into the objectification of women with her artistic choices.
I, as a man, of course, abide by the live and let-live strategy.
I don't personally care in terms of how she chooses to hypersexualize herself if she makes, as an adult, this decision to, you know, put herself in this situation, submissive, that's her kink, or if there's a higher point here beyond what we are immediately seeing, then it's her own choice to do so.
See, that's what I've said.
But what are the girlies?
What are the girlies?
So something interesting about the girly pops is girly pops have always had this weird thing where, you know, sometimes we decide we like someone, sometimes we decide we hate someone.
And something that people have always given Sabrina Carpenter credit for is that her sexiness is always towards like women.
Like you go to her concert and it's very sexy, but not in a I have an erection way in like a beautiful, pretty, like ooh, sleigh way instead of like a jerking off in the corner way.
I'm sorry.
But Sidney Sweeney.
Do you think that men think jerking off in the corner is sexy?
No, no, no.
I'm saying, but like if she was on stage.
She's sexy in a direction.
She's sexy in a direction, but not entertaining the male game.
Let me clarify.
She's Tumblr sexy, not porn hub sexy.
Yes.
But people say Sidney Sweeney is porn hub sexy.
That's fucked up.
I know.
So people get really mean about Sidney Sweeney and they say she panders to men.
I have a question.
Did she really, did she sell soap with a hole in it?
No, it just had bats on it.
There wasn't a hole in it.
Wait, hold on.
So is Sabrina the kind of sexy?
It's like, fuck you, I'm sexy.
This is for the girls.
Yeah.
Okay.
Until this album came out and then everyone switched up on her very suddenly.
Which IMO, I think this is my take on it.
I think too soon.
I think potentially there's a Zoom out here and it's fucking like Renee Rapp pulling her hair.
See, I agree that would be sick, but I'm almost certain that they've done the Zoom out and it's a dude.
Oh.
But I could be misinforming.
I just read that somewhere.
Oh.
It was like AI.
Can you look that up?
Like, is there a Zoom out of this album cover?
Because that would be so sick.
It would be like Renee or some or a girl or something.
Do we think that Sabrina Carpenter is trying to entertain a new market of horny men with her new album?
She could have potentially.
I mean, there's also the mental, it's like, maybe she saw everyone was saying that her sexiness was for the girls and was a little sad and wanted her sexiest to be for the men.
Maybe.
But have you considered that men are yuck?
We don't like them.
We don't.
We don't.
We're anti-men.
This is the most anti-men.
The right wing has got to be celebrating this, right?
Oh, it's a rumor.
Wow, we got fake news.
Fake news.
Maybe it is.
So there's a possibility this could be a woman.
Yeah, and it would be sick.
Because Sabrina is a bit of a queen of satire.
Oh, wait.
I'm calling it right now, Sabrina's Carpenter.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not original in my thinking.
It will be her holding her own hair.
If you look at the proportions, the man looks tiny.
His hands are small.
That's why she's dressed up.
See, I can get behind her to the man.
That's a conspiracy I can get behind.
Yeah, that'd go crazy.
And if they haven't done it, they better switch to her now.
Let me see the hand.
Zoom in on the hand.
I don't think that's her hand.
But the suit does look too big for her body.
That's not a woman's hand.
That's a man's hand.
How do you know that?
Because it's his hand.
Because I'm the one holding her hand.
That's right.
That's why I've been defending this album cover.
Obviously, there's been a lot of drama about this.
I knew that ring is cool.
I do think she should be able to do whatever she wants, though.
Yeah, I think there's a new meta happening right now.
You know, larger vision here.
2014, 2015 era, Tumblr sexuality.
A lot of people start, you know, leaning into entertaining your kinks and being proud of them, right?
And I think there was a lot of like pro-sex work commentary all over the internet as well.
We talked about this with vanilla mace.
Sorry, pause.
What?
Go back to that site.
A bitch is selling a cassette?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
That's sick.
I like it.
That's pretty cool.
All right.
Keep going.
Sorry.
Anyway, we talked about this with vanilla mace last week as well.
So it's kind of interesting that we're having this conversation again.
But I think there was a pendulum swing in the direction where it was like too much.
And I think that the next generation of Zoomers and onwards that also have been like super beamed with unlimited free, unfettered access to pornography have kind of developed an unhealthy opinion and unhealthy attitudes about sexuality.
I'm going to go to the slideshow to see if there's something we didn't cover.
Sexuality and sexualization in general.
So now the pendulum is swung in the other direction where like woke people are almost kind of prudish, where they're like, ooh, you're actually harming women by sexualizing yourself.
And that's inappropriate because you're like, you're putting women down because men think that women deserve to be servile and you're like leaning into that.
I personally don't agree with that assessment.
And I think that, you know, it was her own creative vision.
I don't fully understand what was going on.
But then again, like I said, I think she has the right to do whatever the fuck she wants.
And I don't think people should be panning her so hard for being sexy and maybe even submissive if she wants to be that way.
If you, if it makes you feel sexy, then do it.
But also, like, as a straight man.
I'm on the other end of this.
No, no, I'm on the end of I am.
Whichever one doesn't.
Whichever one doesn't get you yelling.
Where did you girls end up on this?
Everybody put a thumb out on how they feel about this.
Well, hold on.
I don't want to full throat endorse it.
I just, I want to.
Full throat.
What does that mean?
They're fucking with you.
They're fucking with you.
You've never heard the term full throat?
No.
Full-throated?
Full-throated endorsement.
Sexually.
No, no, hold on.
Well, you've heard the word full-throat.
Yes.
Yes.
You guys have never heard that?
Austin, you are in the right.
They're besmirching yourself.
Full-throated.
I thought it was like a full-throated means using a full power of one's voice, expressing something loudly with enthusiasm.
Okay, Austin.
How did you?
They're besmirching your name.
Yeah, how did you get dunked down by Austin?
He doesn't even know half the word.
Oh, I've never heard full throat.
Yeah, full throat.
That's crazy.
I assumed it was an Austin thing.
No, it's an adjective.
Pull up the slideshow real quick.
That was your homophobia.
So go to the next one.
I think my thing overall is the visceral reaction.
So give me the next page.
A lot of her songs are mostly about sex.
How about you don't take your fucking children to a damn show?
Use your brains here.
What?
It's wild how every pop singer write a passage is basically turned into a whore is a crazy thing to say.
I miss when pop girls didn't have to oversexualize themselves for attention.
When?
When?
Literally never.
What point in the fucking history of mankind since popular music was invented did any pop star, male or female, but especially female pop stars, did not sexualize themselves?
Yeah, he's yelling.
He's yelling.
I just don't understand it.
These guys fantasize about a nostalgic era that doesn't fucking exist.
What are we talking about?
If anything, people that say she's putting herself in a submissive position, whereas like Madonna always was more dominant, and that was a take on, you know, sexuality and gender roles, that I can understand at least.
That's a little bit more intellectual than like, these people are sexualizing themselves.
What about like a prayer?
Like a prayer or like a virgin?
Like a virgin.
No.
No.
Prayer.
Prayer.
People.
Down on my knees.
I want to take you there.
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power.
Come on.
But a lot of people allege that that's what the song means, but I heard that it's not what it means.
But that's art.
That's the whole purpose.
That's art.
It's a rumor.
It's a myth that it's about sucking dick.
That's crazy.
Is that what it says, Gabe?
It's a religious thing.
That's what I read about it because I saw a clip that they were playing like a prayer.
It's a double meaning.
It's a double entendre.
Yeah, but I think it is a double entendre.
But there's, I don't know.
I don't know.
I read.
She accidentally described sucking dick while also simultaneously.
Pull up the lyrics because I don't know if that's true.
I mean, it could be anything.
Is she a Madonna?
I don't know what she looks like.
That's crazy.
Where's the lyrics?
I mean, she doesn't look like that.
That's not like her most iconic look.
Pause, pause.
You've never seen Madonna?
I don't.
She's got a lot of things.
Okay, she is a Zoomer.
She is a Zoomer.
I will say Madonna has changed her look over the years.
That was.
Well, I don't know who that is.
She's got pretty bad plastic surgery in some of those photos.
But she has some great.
I would not know who any of those people are.
That's crazy.
Double Entendre Lyrics00:09:37
Wow.
Okay.
These are all different people.
That's all Madonna.
Really?
She changes her hair a lot.
Really?
Yeah.
That's all the same people.
Can we look at the like a prayer lyrics?
That is not all the same person.
How are you so smart and this at the same time, Maya?
Thank you for saying that.
How is this possible?
It's clearly the same woman.
I want to look at the like a prayer lyrics because I don't think it's a song about giving head.
Austin, I don't want to be this person, but many, many episodes ago, you're the one that brought this song and said it is about I know.
And then somebody told me and then I looked into it and I turned out it wasn't that way.
I closed my eyes.
Oh, God.
When you call my name, it's like a little prayer.
It could be Jesus.
I'm down on my knees.
I want to take you there.
Oh, well, okay.
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power.
I mean, she could be praying at night.
Now, I'm down on my knees.
I want to take you there.
What a double entendre.
Yes, I know what a double entendre is.
Just like a prayer, you know, I'll take you there.
I hear your voice.
It's like an angel.
Oh, yeah.
And she even says it's like an angel's.
Okay, yeah, she's giving head.
And when 50 Cent is talking about going to the candy shop, it's not actually about candy.
Okay, yeah, you're right.
She's second.
What is it about?
Ever heard of the song Laffy Taffy?
It's not.
Take that Laffy Taffy.
Anyway, back to the slideshow.
It's about.
Yeah.
Back to the slideshow.
Sorry.
So lots of the opinions are obviously.
It's ironic.
Wait, can I read this one?
Sorry to cut you off.
You guys are discussing a weirdo for defending a literal weirdo.
I'm 17 and afraid of Sabrina Carpenter where she's performing.
You guys need help.
You're afraid of Sabrina Carpenter when she's performing.
People on Twitter.
That's a little crazy.
What does that mean?
Like, what is so scary about a 5-3 woman?
Does she have Britney Spears as her icon photo, too?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, that's a little ironic, I suppose.
I can't zoom, but.
Okay, that's cool.
Yes.
Harriet.
The irony is everyone's so fucking stupid.
That's just, it just boggles my mind.
Yeah.
So, you know, obviously a lot of people, a lot of people still think it's ironic.
So go next, Gabe.
A lot of people think it's massage lyric.
A lot of people say, who cares?
I thought San would like this tweet.
My entire timeline is either people talking about Israel in Iran or Sabrina Carpenter with the exact same level of insanity, which is kind of funny.
It says intensity.
Oh, don't make fun of her.
She's dyslexic.
I'm dyslexic also.
Okay, bragging that you can read better than she can, though.
I mean, he did get her, though.
He can read better.
Okay, let's do a readoff.
I got you.
I set her up the whole beginning of the pod.
The topics she could do.
This is what I'm done.
But I, you know what?
She's wrong about the quaka.
We are getting rid of possums.
We're going to eliminate them from our ecosystem.
Puaka and possum out.
I agree.
First of all, it's opossum in North America.
Idiot.
Second of all, they are incredible.
I love them.
And that is, you are so wrong, fellas.
Can they smile?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Next.
Get me in the ear.
So she did a photo shoot with Rolling Stone, of which she was nude on the front cover, besides her hair covering her boobies.
That's a gorgeous photo.
This is a photo.
Yeah, that was in Rolling Stone.
And she pretty much just talked about like, it's always so funny to me when people complain.
They're all like, all she does is sing about this.
And those, and those are the songs that you've made popular.
Clearly, you love sex.
You're obsessed with it.
It's in my show.
There's so many more moments than Juno positions, but those are the ones you post every night and comment on.
I can't control that.
If you come to the show, you'll also hear the ballads.
You'll hear the introspective numbers.
I find irony and humor in all of that because it seems to be the reoccurring theme.
I'm not upset about it other than I feel mad pressure to be funny sometimes.
So I think it's funny that she's kind of like, okay, well, if you don't like this, then why are you consuming it?
Why is it the number one song literally always forever?
Which I, my whole take on all of this is, well, she made you talk about her.
So congratulations, Sabrina Carpenter.
Pop off.
I think it's a girly pop doing some girly pop shit, and I'm okay with it.
I think it's great.
I 100% agree with you on that.
That was my initial take, and a lot of people yelled at me when I covered it on my stream because they were like, you don't understand you're a man and you're just horny for her.
And it's like, I don't even.
But the thing is, like, no disrespect, like, it's not even floating my boy, but it's not for me.
I don't even think that it's for me.
It's not.
It doesn't, it doesn't do it for me at all.
I'm not looking at this from the perspective of like, oh, I'm horny.
That's not how I fucking consume it.
No, I still think that she's for the girls.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I see that picture, even though she's on her knees and it's called Man's Best Friend.
And I don't see like, I don't see that.
That's just not very something.
That's not something you would jerk off to is what I mean.
And man can jerk off to anything, right?
I mean, literally anything.
And that is not, I don't, I think people that looked at that that are a part of Girly Pop Nation maybe thought, oh, this is like she's actually abandoning us and she's making this hypersexualized version specifically for male consumption.
She's leaning into the male gaze and saying like women's position is supposed to be sexualized, an object of sexual desire and submissive.
The point that she makes in the second paragraph of this article, I think is like very important though, which is she says she doesn't want to be pessimistic, but I truly feel like I've never lived in a time where women have been picked apart more and scrutinized in every capacity.
I'm not talking about just me.
I'm talking about every female artist that is making art right now.
And I do feel like in a very weird way, maybe this is like too 5D chess, but we have figured out a way to create a permission structure to just like shit on women.
But from the perspective of feminism, where people are just like taking these hyper-critical roles that they never would, that they never would with male artists.
Obviously, a part of that is because of the complicated nature of patriarchal constructs.
Objectification doesn't harm men in the same way that it does women.
People say, I'm a fucking hot bimbo all the fucking time.
That doesn't actually take away from my political commentary.
And it doesn't cause people to go, oh, I'm not going to take this person seriously.
I can be as stupid as I want.
I can be as hot as I want without people undermining my position.
Whereas for women, it's a very different dynamic.
But having said that, I do feel like people are hypercritical of not only just Sabrina Carpenter, but all other female artists in the same vein.
And it almost feels like we're re-litigating similar things that we would have done to women, but this time in a less patriarchal tone.
I think something kind of interesting is my theory is we love having a woman at the top and finding some fucking reason to hate her.
She hasn't changed anything.
Like the 180.
She is doing the same thing, you guys.
Hello.
And that's why I'm going to reveal my take that I like it.
He likes it.
And I'm doing that because I'm a brave feminist.
Now, I have a perfect question for Will and Maya.
Okay.
So she's getting accused of another thing.
Do you know the movie Lolita?
Yes.
Oh, no.
You do.
Yeah.
You do not.
How'd you know that?
Okay.
All right.
So go to the next slide.
Next.
They're saying she's in.
Oh, that's my other thing, too.
Wait, go back one more.
Is everyone being like, oh, she's, she's for the men now.
She's being sexy for the men.
She literally came out with a song called Man Child where she calls all men stupid.
Like, get up.
Shut up, ladies.
She's one of us.
Okay.
Now go next.
Oh, really?
That's funny.
Okay.
So because people are bored and looking for something to be mad about, they are saying that she copied a scene from Lolita, which is a movie about Will.
It's about underage relationships with a girl.
Yeah.
It's like a pedo movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so people are saying that she is falling into that and that she's baiting that.
And it's a reference in this.
Is one of these Sabrina Carpenter?
Yeah.
That's really unfortunate.
It is super unfortunate.
But this is my tit, my point is she literally comments.
She's like, I've never seen this movie.
It's never been on my mood board and never would be.
Number one, I have also never seen this movie.
You have never seen this movie.
It's a tough one.
That's I don't know.
I think, I think that whoever designed this shot clearly might have drawn inspiration from Lolita, but it doesn't fucking matter because it's Sabrina Carpenter and she does not look childish or like a child at all from this image.
So it's not supposed to invoke pedophilic sentiment or actually present herself as like juvenile in the way that like maybe some other people do online when they will wear braces, even though if they don't have to, you know, things of that nature and do like makeup a certain way.
She's not even doing that.
A woman wants to speak.
The Crazy Crab Mascot00:09:01
I also think, thank you, Will.
I also think like this, respectfully, men that are like, that have fantasies about underage women are not this thoughtful.
Like they're not gonna, they're not gonna like, like they're not gonna look at this and be like, oh my God, the lighting is the same.
Like she looks like this movie.
I'm not fantasizing about her being in this movie.
Like they're just gonna look up CP.
Those are really good.
I don't think you can do that either.
I think that's very illegal.
No, that's what I'm saying.
That's what they'll do.
That's what they're gonna do.
They're not gonna like look at this and be like, wow, look at this photo.
She reminds me of this movie.
Well, damn, what a good girly popularity.
Yeah, I thought you guys would like it.
I thought you guys were.
That was great.
We're gonna get yelled at a lot on TikTok because we said we didn't fucking hate.
But we were split.
Not really.
Austin hated it.
Yeah.
Austin will get celebrated by this.
No, I didn't hate it.
Well, we have two regular segments we do on this show.
We have Girly Pop Nation.
We have another one.
Do you know what the other one is?
Talking about the fap top.
Oh.
Sorry, you do that.
What is happening?
It's called America Me Up.
It's my segment.
I have to take this to Manoa.
And I brought a special one for you.
Okay.
So anyway, this segment is about America and uplifting America.
But however, I thought that this, with you on the show, I should point out a really unfortunate instance of animal violence in our country.
Great, Will.
Have you ever heard of the San Francisco Giants crazy crab?
No, I know.
So have you ever heard of a mascot?
Yes.
Okay.
Teams throughout the country have mascots, right?
And at one point in the 80s, the San Francisco Giants tried what they called an anti-mascot, which was a mascot that they created to be hated by the audience.
Enter the crazy crab.
I remember this.
Wait, I'll be honest.
I like the crazy crab.
I think it's funny.
So there's a video, but I feel bad.
The idea was that this was going to be a one-off.
They were going to bring the crab out.
The audience was going to be upset, but they were so upset that they decided to keep going.
Go to a video.
Go to the YouTube.
There's a video I'm looking for.
How do they set that precedent that people are supposed to boo?
You're going to see.
Okay.
Yes.
Who can ever forget this guy, the San Diego Chicken?
I forgot that guy.
Oh, yeah, he's silly.
But while the bird dwells in San Diego, a creature crawled to the depths of San Francisco's candlestick.
Waiting for his big chance to steal the show.
Throughout the years, baseball fans at Candlestick Park have learned to put up with a lot.
Everything from losing seasons to this cold, bone-chilling win.
Now they can handle all that.
The one thing they find it difficult to put up with is the new mascot.
They love it in Philly.
They love it in Atlanta.
Yeah, but Giants fans are different.
Must be.
They'll love it.
All those fans in Giants Land love that crazy crab.
Love that crazy crab.
This commercial was meant to be a warm introduction of one crazy crab to Giants fans everywhere.
However, the relationship has become anything but warm.
When we asked Giants fans what kind of mascot they'd like, 63% said they didn't like mascots.
Were they trying to?
The crab's kind of stupid.
I could do without him.
He's worthless.
I mean, he just comes out of you, you know, runs around, goes away.
We don't need a mascot.
So pause.
So this was their idea to introduce an anti-mascot.
Wait, so it.
But the audience isn't in on the fact that it was an anti-mascot?
No, but they bought in immediately into hating him.
Right.
But San Francisco had no idea how far the hate would go.
No.
Did they kill him?
To the point where they would launch batteries, bars of soap.
Oh my God.
Anything heavy they could launch in the field.
In San Francisco, that sounds like a Philadelphia story.
They were pelting the crazy crab.
Now, what they didn't know is that San Francisco hired a professional interpretive dancer to bring the crazy crab to life.
And the crazy crab, play the video.
They might have the end of the crazy crab here.
Oh, why not?
San Francisco, you know, crab seems to fit.
It kind of fits in with our theme of telling people that Giants fans are different.
Underneath the orange suit lies the heart of a local San Francisco actor who enjoys giving fans a chance to vent their frustrations.
I try to make them get a little excited, you know, give off a little energy and stuff.
Any kind of energy is good, you know, so if they want to keep booing me, that's all right.
I'll just keep going out there and, you know, giving them the old moon.
Moves like that make it easy to do.
Do you see the trash lying on the field?
Not even the coach.
Hey, Frank, need me y'all, Pinch Hitterson.
I've told you no choice ever ever touch me again.
Well, you gotta give it to the little guy.
He's not easily discouraged.
I'd like to get a little respect out there, but he doesn't deserve any respect.
He holds up the game.
That guy's just really well-faced.
Eventually, you know, San Francisco fans are going to love me.
His eyelashes at the bottom of his eye.
So pause.
That'll be it.
He says, eventually San Francisco fans will love me.
Unfortunately, that year, San Francisco was one of the worst teams in baseball.
Oh, no.
And the crazy crab towards the end of the season was assaulted by two masked assailants and sent to the hospital.
Oh, no.
Like on the field?
The actor sued the team and was awarded $2,000 for medical damage.
That's it.
That's it.
Oh, yes, this is fine.
And never took the field again.
And it is heavily speculated that the two people that beat the shit out of the crazy crab were two Padres players, two teams from another base.
Was this in front of a crowd or was it not offline?
Like off outside of a game?
I believe so.
Like in an alley?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's crazy.
So they knew who the crab man was and they still beat his eyes.
They beat the shit out of him.
So sad.
And so the crazy crab was retired and never seen again.
Wow.
And he is remembered as the most reviled mascot in professional sports.
They should bring him back.
They should bring him back.
They should bring him back for like one night and one night only.
So that they can beat the shit out of him.
Yeah.
No.
I liked him.
I thought he was cute.
One of the things I noticed when we watch older videos like this is like how in shape the average sports fan is in the stadium as opposed to like what that would look like now in a moment.
What happened?
Well, anyway, that was this week's America Me Up.
Thank you.
I hope you enjoyed it.
I loved it.
I would like to see him come back.
Yeah, let's start a petition.
Bring back the crazy crab.
Bring back the crazy crab for one night and one night only.
Once a year.
Why don't we get a fear and mascot?
Oh, I like that.
What do you think?
Ready?
Close your eyes.
Stream of thought.
What is our mascot?
Go.
La boo-boo.
A pickle.
Okay.
Let's walk on that.
No, keep the eyes closed.
A pickle and what's he doing?
He's wearing a hat.
What's the hat say?
It says fear and.
And what else is he doing?
He's wearing sunglasses.
Oh, he's a cool pickle.
He's got a big smile, too.
I don't want him on the bottom.
He's the fear and pickle.
What's his name?
Fast!
Spin it out!
Peter!
Peter Pickle?
The Fear Ann mascot.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're having an art competition.
Yeah, Peter the Pickle.
Bring him a speedo.
Oh, threw that one in.
Okay.
What do you think?
I don't like him.
Well, until anybody else comes up with a better idea.
Love that craziness.
Girly pop.
No, girl's over.
You can't believe that.
Okay, Peter the Pickle.
I love it.
I think so.
What's your idea for a mascot?
What do you think?
That's it.
Peter the Pickle.
That's a pickle.
With a hat that says Fear Ann, glasses, and a not a jockstrap, but a pickle.
I feel like, why does he, why does he sound like a sex criminal pickle?
That's crazy.
Are you really doing that to our mascot?
Does he have legs?
There's already allegations about a mascot.
You got milk, Doug.
Does anybody else have anything else they want to talk about?
Well, I do, but it's going to be at the Patreon.
Oh, it's Air India.
The Air India disaster.
Does anybody else have anything that's not a horrible disaster that they want to talk about?
This city's crazy.
Okay.
I'm just going to talk about it.
I moved here finally after three years of traveling back and forth once a week.
Who can see you less now?
You never, I text you all the time and you don't ever respond.
No, because you text me about coming on the show to talk about Air India.
Well, regardless, he hasn't been responding as much.
Air India Disaster00:02:45
He's been busy.
I understand.
People have lives.
But anyway, this city is crazy.
have been going out till like three or four in the morning every night.
What?
Yes, I didn't realize that there's something going on all the time here.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm having the time of my life.
I've been meeting people.
I was out in Silver Lake last night.
I've been meeting local.
I went to a local bar and hung out with like the LA Angelinos.
I've been going to not, and I'm not just doing West Hollywood.
I'm doing Silver Lake.
I'm going to pregames.
He's on his Los Angeles tour.
Yeah, I went to some pool parties.
That's great.
I'm meeting so many people.
I hung out with a fantastic drag queen.
Shout out to Luscious Massacre.
Oh, Luscious Massacre.
Don't do it, little girl.
If you know who she is, we want to have her on the podcast.
But this city, I didn't realize.
You guys tried to tell me, but living here is completely different.
Yes.
It's completely different.
I don't go anywhere.
You're saying it's better than a Portland suburb.
Yes.
Well, something to do every night.
Austin's having the time of his life, and we are at time.
We're going to learn more about his new life on the Patreon episode as well as his opinions on airplane crashes.
And guys, it is a rare pleasure that we get to uplift a creator in our space that is actually doing something meaningful.
So if you have a passion for animals, taking care of animals, or you just want to be informed, make sure you tune into Maya's content and support it with your time and dollars.
Wow.
Well, thank you.
Thank you, Maya, for joining us.
Thank you.
I wouldn't even go that far.
No, that's way too confrontational.
You need to come up with your quick thing.
So my quick thing, I've used this many, many times, is when you're like walking down the street and a guy, like a guy will say, where you going with all that ass?
Or something like that?
I always, always reply, what are you making that please?
I get hit on.
Look at me.
She does.
I saw the clip.
I saw the clip on your TikTok.
You were getting hit on.
She's going to roll down there.
We're going to hit it.
Where you going on at ass?
That's all I have, Will.
It's all I've got.
You got a lot.
And I get it a lot.
Last time when we're just driving by, they're like, oh, yeah, I could get lost in those blue eyes.
That only happened one time, but it's usually about my butt.
But wait, wait, people are telling you, like, ah, Hoochie, mama, look at all that ass.
Yes, yes, she's a hot woman.
I walk right here.
Why are they laughing at her?
I'm not laughing.
I'm not laughing at her.
You got a fat ass, cutie.
People like that.
Where are you going with that fat ass?
So just people on the street say stuff like, where are you going with that dump truck ass?