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Oct. 5, 2024 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
02:14:46
PROOF the Hurricane Response is IGNORING Whites.. Here’s the RECEIPTS

While FEMA continues to ignore the southeastern states, sometimes even going so far as to block aid.. it’s becoming increasingly obvious that they’re looking to HURT whites as much as possible and prevent voting in those states. And we have the proof — it’s even worse than you think.Show more Back again with another FRIDAY EDITION of NIGHTLY OFFENSIVE! __ ⇩SUPPORT THE SHOW⇩ ➤ JOIN CENSORED TV: Watch this FULL EPISODE ad free + EXCLUSIVE content at https://censored.tv/ promo code “OFFENSIVE” for 20% - Keep free speech media alive! ➤ JOIN THE PRIVATE LIVE COMMUNITY: https://elijahschaffer.locals.com/ ➤ NOTICER T-SHIRTS / MERCH: https://slightlyoffensive.com/ __ ⇩ SHOW SPONSORS⇩ ➤ MORNING KICK: Just a reminder the legendary Chuck Norris is a whopping 84 years old and yet has MORE energy than most of us — he discovered he could create dramatic changes to his health simply focusing on 3 things that sabotage our body as we age. Watch his method by clicking the link in the description box here: https://www.ChuckDefense.com/Offensive. ➤ THE WELLNESS COMPANY: Be prepared for what is coming next! Order your MEDICAL EMERGENCY KIT ASAP at https://www.twc.health/offensive and enter code OFFENSIVE for 10% off. The Wellness Company and their licensed doctors are medical professionals you can trust, and their medical emergency kits are the gold standard to keeping you safe! Again, that’s https://www.twc.health/offensive , promo code OFFENSIVE. ➤ FARMER BILL’S: Stick it to BlackRock by supporting American ranchers! Buy Farmer Bill's Beef & Bison Biltong 🥩 Sourced from the Grasslands of South Dakota, shipped directly to you. Try the Best Sellers Bundle to get FREE Shipping, along with a 1/2 Slab of Original Biltong and Grass-fed Tallow Balm! Use ELIJAH at https://www.farmerbillsprovisions.com for 10% off the most BASED MEAT SNACK on the market! 🇺🇸 ___ ⇩ELIJAH’S SOCIAL MEDIA ⇩ ➤ X: https://X.com/ElijahSchaffer ➤ RUMBLE: https://rumble.com/c/SlightlyOffensive ➤ INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/slightlyoffensive.tv ➤ TELEGRAM https://t.me/SlightlyOffensive ➤ GAB: https://gab.com/elijahschaffer __ ➤BOOKINGS + BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected] __ ⇩EXCELLENT RESOURCES FOR KIDS ⇩ Head to https://bit.ly/teach-freedom for a unique book series that introduces the important ideas that schools no longer teach. Show less

Participants
Main voices
e
earl gray
08:06
e
elijah schaffer
01:14:54
m
michael mendoza
21:17
Appearances
j
jared taylor
03:15
t
tim kennedy
01:06
Clips
k
kamala harris
00:20
m
mark laita
00:04
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
elijah schaffer
Well, the devastation of Hurricane Helene is astronomical to say the least.
You can go full screen to my screen here, go full screen there.
You can see a flyover by Elon Musk and his staff.
They took some helicopters to look at the damage in North Carolina so they could drop off Starlinks so people could get internet back.
The reason why I say, why do they need internet there?
Well, FEMA set up stations along the sides of the road.
And in order to find them, since they weren't easily identifiable, they said people could log on to the app, which was really beautiful and cost hundreds of millions of dollars, allegedly, to design.
The only problem is nobody has internet.
They said, well, you can also apply for disaster relief by going to where?
To their website, but nobody has internet.
You can go back to me here.
The problem with the entire government is it's a fucking mess.
It's ridiculous.
They're stopping people and arresting people for trying to help others.
We're going to debunk some of these insane cover-ups that are happening right now as the United States government is seeking not only to destroy this region to prevent them from voting in the next election, but we're going to find out their new handbook was released and we can prove to you today that the reason why they did not get help quickly is because they are white.
And it is the intentional point of the Kamala Harris regime that's currently running the United States to make whites suffer.
I know it sounds far-fetched.
No, it doesn't.
It's 2024.
We have a great show for you tonight.
It is approximately 10:43 p.m. Eastern Time in the United States.
Let's start the show.
Where are you, Mike?
unidentified
Where are you, Mike?
elijah schaffer
The more you complain about the dancing, the more I will do it.
Welcome back to Slightly Offensive: The Best Worst Show on the Internet.
I am your host, Elijah Schaefer, and we have a great show for you today.
Coming on hot, Elon Musk said something that I think we were all thinking, but I don't know if anyone knows about.
Check this out.
He wrote today: SpaceX engineers are trying to deliver Starlink terminals and supplies to devastated areas in North Carolina right now.
And FEMA is both feeling to help and won't let others help.
This is unconsciousable.
I need to go have sex with some more toxic women and make babies.
No, he didn't say that, but that's probably what he did.
They just took this video a few hours ago where you can see the level of devastation: roads, houses, electricity, water supply, and ground internet connections completely destroyed.
FEMA wouldn't let them land to deliver critical supplies.
My blood is boiling.
Speaking of three individuals who boil my blood every single day, I'd like to introduce tonight on my left.
Go ahead and introduce yourself.
What's going on?
michael mendoza
I'm Mike Mendoza, aka Mike Mendoza JPG on Twitter.
unidentified
I'm the producer of this fine program.
michael mendoza
So it's nice to be back.
And yeah, I feel like I'm in a soccer game right now.
It's like what's going on.
elijah schaffer
All right, next, please.
michael mendoza
All right.
And Earl Gray, what's up?
unidentified
Earl, what's up?
earl gray
Hey, I'm Earl Gray, and I'll be on Galaxy Gas all day.
michael mendoza
Let's go.
earl gray
In medications.
I've been mixing the two.
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
And then, of course, here, spectating, we have David White.
David White.
We have so much gas going around.
We have the air horns going.
All right.
So we're just going to jump into this.
So I'm going to bring up this footage.
Okay, this is serious.
Now, the first time we did an episode on this, we proceeded to laugh for 10 minutes about the devastation.
But my guest was Jewish.
So we're talking about subverting a tragedy.
michael mendoza
Right.
elijah schaffer
That would make sense.
You bring Jewish and women on the show, and what do you do?
You don't take serious things seriously, and you end up mocking the hurting while you yourself are in the comfort of your own homes.
That's what we do here at Slightly Offensive.
We're switching up.
No, but this devastation, you can go to a full screen here.
I kind of wanted to point out a part of this video that was the most important part.
Okay, right here.
See the roads here?
You see like some of these roads and then their actual driveways here, right here, are washed out.
So see that?
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
The main road is washed out.
And if you go ahead here, you can follow and track this main road.
And see how it just disappears right there.
It just disappears.
These are like main highways, right?
So we're talking about even if you survived, which many people did not, I think we're going to see several hundred.
It's probably the most deadly natural disaster since Hurricane Katrina, which unironically, how the tables have turned.
I want to say this.
In Katrina, we had George Bush, and so they didn't care about black people.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Famous quote from Kanye.
michael mendoza
Kanye West.
Well, I mean, I was about to say, you know, Joe Biden doesn't care about white people, which actually is true.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, we should, we should do, we should recreate that as a skit.
Write that down, Brian.
michael mendoza
Write that down, Brian.
Write that down.
Brian Dam, write that down.
elijah schaffer
No, but it's like he doesn't care about white people.
No, I told you we're going to expose that later.
But this, this devastation is really serious.
It is, um, it is intensified.
And as always, as you would expect, the government response has made it 10 times worse.
We have some crazy stuff to undergo.
But I never thought to ask you guys, do you know anyone in the area that is affected by this?
Because I do.
I know a few people.
michael mendoza
I actually do.
If anyone knows Candace Taylor, she has a little bit of a following, but I've talked with her a few times.
I've been seeing her talking about it a bit, but she's in southeastern Georgia, I believe.
I know a few people.
And, you know, I mean, I actually haven't even thought to check in yet.
I haven't talked to Candace in some time now, but I mean, hopefully, you know, thoughts and prayers to everyone who's out there right now.
But actually, what's kind of good about the new iPhone update is that now you can use it.
It's sponsored by Apple.
Yeah, no, well, no, but unironically, they have a satellite.
Like, there's this new thing that if you don't have data, if you don't have 5G connection, you can still connect via satellite if you're in like some remote area or cell phone towers have been taken out.
So hopefully, everyone upgrades the iPhone 18.
elijah schaffer
Hey, good note from slightly offensive in my producer here.
If you're a poor person living in the Blue Ridge Mountains in a financial in a financially impacted area, I hope in the last three weeks you got the latest update of iPhone in anticipation for the emergency while your iPhone's dead because you have no power.
Mike, do you have any other ideas for us tonight?
michael mendoza
That you want to suggest?
earl gray
Yeah, we should buy a star link.
michael mendoza
Why not just not get hit by the hurricane?
Did you try that?
Come on.
Did you think about that?
Come on.
Thank you.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Hey, what if you just didn't build your house next to a river?
That's like the cover.
It's like, ooh, I love the comments.
I shouldn't have built so close to the water.
That doesn't help anybody.
earl gray
Anyway, Earl, I mean, you obviously know a lot of people in America in general, but I mean, I was going to say, FEMA stands for Federal Emergency Management Management Agency.
unidentified
But what's for Emergency Management Agency?
earl gray
Am I right?
unidentified
Still on YouTube, but that doesn't matter.
elijah schaffer
All right, let's talk about this.
Before we jump into that, I just want to talk about something really important and something close to my heart.
I want to talk to you guys about something amazing.
Now, many of you know, I've been feeling a little bit low on energy, and that's why I was watching this video and I saw this good guy, the greatest Chuck Norris, which I'm a big fan of.
Always been.
He's selling water now, but he's also kicking ass.
He's over 84 years old, which is about 15 years younger than Joe Biden when he started his presidency.
Pretty good stuff.
However, he changed one thing in his life.
He changed three simple steps, but he made one major change.
And he has the information for us.
All you got to do is go down to the link below, ChuckDefense.com/slash offensive.
That's C-H-U-C-K-D-E-F-E-N-S-E dot com slash offensive.
When you go to chuckdefense.com/slash offensive, not only will you find an amazing amount of information that will impact your life, but him and his wife, it's not just him.
If your wife's been sluggish, maybe she's had children, maybe something bad has happened.
I'm telling you right now that you can get information how to improve your health and to get that energy back.
He says he feels better than he did when he was 50.
All you've got to do is click the link down below at chuckdefense.com slash offensive.
That's C-H-U-C-K-D-E-F-E-N-S-E dot com slash O-F-F-E-S-I-V-E.
Click the link.
You're not going to want to miss it.
So speaking of that, one of the things I want to talk about today is this historical thing that apparently has been happening for a long time.
Tim Kennedy on FEMA, he said this.
They are directly interrupting our ability to conduct missions.
I went to put a couple of people into a hotel last night and they have security guards at the hotel and they said, oh, we're very sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Usually I don't explode so early.
$20, please.
The entire hotel has been booked for federal employees.
And I was like, no, no, no.
I have people that I just pulled out of the mountain that are living out in the hills and there's not a place for me to put them because we have federal employees that are staying in the hotel.
This is real, a report.
And the reason why I want to talk about this is because there is an intentional move by the United States government.
And no, I'm not info wars.
I like them a lot.
We're not just like, you know, the government is stealing everyone's homes.
We will talk about that and the truth behind that.
But here's the deal: there is a decades, centuries long, but in our country, at least a century-long enactment from governments to ensure that in the middle of a catastrophe, that when the government is not helping, the media is not around so that people don't see people helping each other.
And once the government shows up a week later, they don't allow people to help each other because the media is around and they need the people to have the illusion that only the government can help.
This is a real thing.
It's not crazy.
They only want the government to help.
Because it's not because they don't want you to help them.
It's because they need you to think that you need the government.
That's a big mind control thing.
Listen to this.
Oh, is it not playing audio?
You don't have an audio playing?
I guess this video doesn't have audio.
unidentified
Okay.
michael mendoza
Well, all right.
elijah schaffer
Well, that's just, that's fine.
I guess we don't have any audio for that.
But I could probably find the NDI and see that where that's.
Hey, Brian, can you stop doing that for a second here?
Because we don't have any audio from the NDI.
So I'm going to look here for a second and see why we don't have any audio.
So, let me uh let me Brian, let me go ahead and take this.
Brian, let me take this, Brian.
Thank you, Brian.
I'm taking this.
unidentified
Hold up, Brian, stop, stop it, please.
elijah schaffer
Stop, stop, stop.
michael mendoza
Sorry, thanking and coming.
elijah schaffer
Thank you, Brian.
I appreciate it.
michael mendoza
Let's go.
elijah schaffer
Uh, I just wanted to see something in the NDIA and that's because the sound was on, now it's on, and now I've corrected it.
I don't know where you were going with the mouse.
Thank you so much.
Now it's corrected.
michael mendoza
Okay, we're back.
tim kennedy
Are they still not there anywhere?
unidentified
What do you see in Fung FEMA in the federal and the federal response, if any?
tim kennedy
I mean, they're present, they're in the way.
They are directly interrupting our ability to conduct missions and operations.
And I'm not going to disparage anybody because we are trying to work within partner relationships, both government and non-government entities within state and federal and county.
You know, we went to put a couple of people into a hotel last night, and I they have a security guard at the hotel.
They said, Oh, we're so sorry.
The entire hotel has been booked for federal employees.
And I was like, No, no, I have people that were just pulled out of a mountain that are living out in the hills, and there's not a place for me to put them because we have federal employees that are staying in the hotel.
I slept in this white car last night, I smell like foot and death right now, as does every single person on our team.
Not a single one of us slept.
We got done maybe at three o'clock the moment the sun was up and we could fly helicopters again.
We were back in the air, and we have not stopped.
And I was like on the fence about trying to get on this program or not.
I want people to understand how incredible this organization is.
Save our allies and all the work that all of these volunteers are doing.
But people, this is biblical.
elijah schaffer
Bad timing on the sound effects.
Who did that?
That was bad timing on the sound effects.
Um, do you remember when that girl was talking about a disabled kid on the news like getting hurt?
And the guy goes, Womp, womp, whoop, whoop.
Oh, yeah, did you just womp womp me?
You're talking about disabled kid like getting injured?
He goes, Yeah, I'm sorry.
earl gray
It's like I feel bad for them, but describing them as hill people and pulling them out of the mountain is, I don't know, it's making me laugh for some reason.
Honestly, I do feel bad for them.
elijah schaffer
Honestly, honestly, so here's the demarcation: this is why I think whites are different than blacks and why we get ahead: is because I'm willing to admit that in the hills, there are two types of main people.
michael mendoza
Oh, wait, is that why whites get ahead of blacks?
Just that.
elijah schaffer
Well, definitely maybe a couple letters together.
earl gray
Yes, yes, yes.
michael mendoza
They have big hairy feet.
earl gray
Why do they live in the cast spells?
elijah schaffer
No, because the Blue Ridge Mountains actually was in Texas Chainsaw.
Listen, no, there's two types of people.
I mean, serious here.
There's two types of people.
There are people who move to the Blue Ridge Mountains because they're beautiful and they want to live in West Virginia and they want to open up a skate park inside of a inside of a warehouse.
michael mendoza
So specific.
elijah schaffer
And there are those people.
And they have large pin pools.
And then there are people who live in the Blue Ridge Mountains because historically they've been there.
And as and a lot of these people, some people, of course, you know, it could be business owners or whatever, but the majority of people, like we know, that one guy that runs that copper coin.
michael mendoza
Who's the one guy?
Oh, Matthew Wright.
elijah schaffer
Matthew Wright.
Yeah, Rife.
michael mendoza
Referee technology.
elijah schaffer
Some rich people live there, but a lot of people, industry left, industry left, Opportunity left, and then now they have fentanyl.
earl gray
You know, that black guy that lives in the hills and he steals crackers.
elijah schaffer
And they've been there for a long time and they've been mostly forgotten and they're addicted to drugs and stuff.
And it's a real serious thing, and nobody cares about them because they're white.
It's the poorest white people in America live there.
And it's called the Blue Ridge Mountains.
But it's mostly called the Blue Ball Mountains.
michael mendoza
Well, yeah, especially now because your iPhone's not working.
You know, so it's just like you can't even call up your sneaky link, as the kids are calling it nowadays.
unidentified
So thoughts?
michael mendoza
Thoughts, Earl?
earl gray
Why are we with that?
Everybody in the hills right now is getting blue balls.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
michael mendoza
Most important thing.
Most important thing.
elijah schaffer
I didn't mean that.
earl gray
I didn't even laugh at this.
elijah schaffer
I totally forgot what I was going to say.
And I asked.
All right.
Sorry.
By the way, that was not the intentional thing I was going to say.
I was going to say blue rims or something.
Blue rim.
michael mendoza
Whoa.
unidentified
Okay.
michael mendoza
Never getting really freaky.
elijah schaffer
No, no, no.
michael mendoza
Never getting really freaky.
elijah schaffer
No, no, the blue ridge.
unidentified
Sorry.
elijah schaffer
I was going for ridge and then I thought of rim jobs.
Then I went blue balls.
So we're going.
Okay.
But anyway.
michael mendoza
Honest mistake.
Honestly.
elijah schaffer
All I was going to say is, yes.
Like, where white people are different than blacks is like, I'll admit there's some pretty gnarly white people that live in that belt in the Appalachians.
It's a pretty gnarly set of whites.
I genuinely believe that.
It is a gnarly set of white people.
They are the people of the hills.
And that's not all of them, though.
So I'm not being racist.
Oh, all the Appalachians.
No, there's a whole thriving community.
Yeah.
But the industry did leave, and a lot of people have been left.
You never seen those people in the Appalachians.
Let me see if I can bring this up here.
michael mendoza
They have one eye.
They're like cyclops.
They have one eye and then they have the big hairy feet like hobbits.
So do you know about this?
Just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
We love our Appalachians.
So.
elijah schaffer
Do you know?
Let me see.
michael mendoza
I'm actually not super familiar with this aerial.
earl gray
I don't know anything about it.
unidentified
This is America's most inbred family.
A total 15 samples that share the same parents who were first cousins.
These are the Whitakers.
Ray, one of the brothers, only communicates and grunting.
His older sister, Lorraine, is nearly always silent and unable to formulate words.
There's their younger nephew, Timmy, and there's a sibling named Betty, who takes care of them all and is the only one out of the four that's able to communicate.
But this video posted by Mark Liotta, who goes under soft white underbelly, raised more questions as Betty revealed she was one of 15 siblings, including Ray and Lorraine.
And when asked about her family's apparent condition, she said she had no idea what could have caused it.
mark laita
But the mental disorder that Ray has, what is that from?
unidentified
I don't know.
I'm gonna watch out.
Due to the effects of inbreeding, they have eyes that look in different directions and use barking and screaming as a form of communication.
This is America's most inbred thing.
earl gray
This is a documentary on Pakistan.
elijah schaffer
Also, you may be like, you may become the Whitakers after six and a half years.
That's me, honestly.
earl gray
Eyes looking in different directions.
elijah schaffer
It is pretty crazy.
So the Whitaker family is pretty famous.
The Whitakers are an inbred family and they have been banging each other, very similar to Pakistanis.
michael mendoza
Have you ever seen the blue people who are in Kentucky?
earl gray
Although the colonial silver or whatever?
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I've seen that one guy posted who was a, he wasn't a rapist.
What was he?
That was a very bad.
He was a drug user.
And he talked about rolling, not raping, rolling at Raves.
And his skin was blue because he lives in that area.
So he turned blue.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
michael mendoza
It's a very natural.
It's a very diverse country, Earl.
I know that you've only been here for so long now, but we have blue people.
We have total freak hill people.
We have everything here.
earl gray
So we're not trying to say that those guys are the guys that got hit in the hurricane.
elijah schaffer
Those are that.
That's their area.
Yeah.
That's literally where they live.
That's them.
They got hit.
They're the ones getting, they're the ones who can't find a hotel.
My friends need to stay here.
No, but okay, but okay, but what I mean here, this is so bad.
This is inappropriate.
However, what I would like to say about this is several things.
For some reason, the quality of our videos went up somehow accidentally.
We still don't know what happened here.
michael mendoza
That's doubtful.
elijah schaffer
Secondly, the quality of the content, no.
But I want to talk about a very serious specification here.
So I was out tweeting, which is all I can do to help right now.
No, but my wife's about to have a baby.
And listen, I was out explaining in the beginning.
I go, the reason why they don't care about these people last week is because they're white.
Now, the reason why I said that was for a very particular reason.
If you can go to my screen here, full screen.
I know that FEMA has an entire page on equity.
Now, equity is not about equality.
Equity is equal outcome.
And even though there's poor whites there, I know, and I've seen it before, and I want to bring this up here.
I have a copy of this.
The handbook.
michael mendoza
Go back.
elijah schaffer
Thank you.
michael mendoza
Usually once you switch, I take it off.
elijah schaffer
I'm joking.
So imagine I fight with you like with Brian.
unidentified
Put it back on.
America.
michael mendoza
All right.
elijah schaffer
So the inclusion, diversity, equity, and accessibility in exercises, considerations, and best practices guide.
Now, this is pretty extensive document.
You're talking about more pages than American reads in a year, like 25, right?
So this is, we're not going to read this all in the show, but I want to, there was an interesting guy.
There was this nice old professor, very non-controversial guy, just your average run-of-the-mill professor.
And he actually went over this document, broke some of it down for us.
And I had read through this and it had said everything.
So I wanted to see if this was originally to see what was happening with a hurricane the other year.
But it turns out that it had said that FEMA was intentionally directing aid towards people based on their race.
And if they were white, to delay the amount of aid that you give them, which is crazy.
Take this off the screen real fast if you can.
I want to play this for you.
A professor broke this down a lot nicer than I could have.
He's a really good professor.
His name is, what is his name?
His name is Jared Taylor, Professor Jared Taylor.
He was recently invited, I think, to NYU or something like that, right, to speak and lecture in a debate.
Pretty well renowned, well-accomplished.
And he's been calling stuff like this out.
One of the first people who was canceled for nothing controversial except for just reading people's own manuals, own documents, sort of like lives of TikTok.
Yeah, right?
We can bring that up on the screen there.
He broke this down.
So they literally are targeting people or not targeting them because of the color of their skin and intentionally not responding because they don't want white people to use their funds.
I'm not joking about this.
This is absolutely important.
Listen to this.
We're going to watch a few minutes.
We'll pause it.
We'll talk to you.
It's about nine minutes, but I want to get through this, most of the video, because it's pretty amazing.
Again, Professor Jared Taylor, world-renowned thought criminal, and his only thought was telling the truth.
Listen.
jared taylor
Hurricane Helene has reached 190, making it the worst killer since Hurricane Katrina nearly 20 years ago.
Floods devastated Asheville and other towns in North Carolina, where the elevation usually keeps people safe.
Georgia and Florida also suffered terrible damage.
FEMA, the federal emergency management agency, will get Asheville back on its feet, along with all the other places that were wrecked, right?
Well, according to FEMA's guidelines, white people are last in line for relief.
Take a look at this 144-page handbook, Achieving Equitable Recovery.
The very first page says, instilling equity as a foundation of emergency management is goal one of the 2022-2026 FEMA strategic plan.
Equity means underserved groups come first because they have been systematically denied a full opportunity to participate in aspects of economic, social, and civic life.
They are black, Latino, and indigenous and Native American persons, Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders, and other persons of color, members of religious minorities, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer persons, persons with disability, persons who live in rural areas.
The only persons not included are Christian white heterosexuals who systematically deny opportunity to everyone else.
FEMA explains that the higher the number of isms you face, i.e. racism, sexism, ageism, the higher your risks before, during, and after a disaster.
This shows how different isms pile up to an alarming degree.
One-legged Muslim African lesbians are first in line for disaster relief.
I'm only half joking.
FEMA explains that equity means you have to generate a data-informed picture of recovery needs before disaster strikes.
That's because inequities that existed prior to a disaster are often exacerbated by the disaster, e.g., disparities caused by racism or poverty.
FEMA urges you to go to the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, which has already done some of the work for you.
It calculates a social vulnerability index for every American county based on socioeconomic status, household characteristics, housing type and transport access, and of course, race.
This is Bunkham County, North Carolina, where flood-stricken Asheville is located.
Here's the vulnerability of all counties.
Dark is bad, light is good.
It is critical for local officials and leaders to advance equity and recovery by leveraging available data to inform the recovery process, says FEMA.
The top two goals of equitable recovery are to address long-standing recovery issues and to correct any prior underinvestment and pre-existing inequities.
As Kamala Harris likes to say.
kamala harris
So there's a big difference between equality and equity.
Equality suggests often everybody should get the same thing.
Well, that often assumes everybody started out in the same place.
As opposed to equity, which is everyone should end up in the same place.
elijah schaffer
Okay, that's the key thing there.
Can we talk about this for a second?
So their DEI handbook, this is a pretty big thing, Mr. White.
You would know your people are constantly being attacked.
No, but I mean, like, dude, it's in plain clothes.
Like, people say, and this is why we'll talk about this, these Freudian influencers.
You know what I'm talking about?
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
These Freudian influencers, the flags in bio, is that they always tell me, you know, you've lost it.
I mentioned this all the time.
Today they were attacked me.
You've lost it.
Never debunk a single thing I'm stating.
Never say where I'm lying.
You've gone off the deep end.
I'm worried about you.
What are you worried about?
Do I have herpes or something?
Like, what are you worried about?
It's like, they always say that this is how I've always told you to recognize bad faith people.
It's called manipulation.
If you've been in a toxic relationship, basically, if you ever dated me, you would know.
I'm just kidding.
No.
But on the flip side, when you look at this, on the internet, people try to use mob mentality.
It's not just companies they cancel.
People come to you and go, like, they act like they're concerned.
Oh, Mr. White, I'm so confident.
Honestly, and they gas you up.
This is the way they do it.
They gas you up.
They go, you know, I've been really appreciated your opinions the last few years.
I've just thought they don't even say what they appreciate it because it's like people saying, I'm a big viewer of your show.
Like they never were.
They go, I've been appreciating you for many years.
And they often get the year wrong since 2014, which is like even before I got into it.
It's like, and I've just always thought you were a great source of information.
But recently, I've just been so concerned because you seem to be losing your grip.
And really, you just are critical of Israel.
Like, that's the only thing that you are.
And they're just mad.
They're mad because they disagree with you.
But the same thing goes with this too.
It's like, I've told people, I'm like, you know, they're not going to help them because they're white.
And they're like, oh, you're just insane.
You go out the deep end.
You just think people are attacking white people.
No, I don't think it.
It's a reality.
Like people, like someone's like, where's your scheduled, where's your scheduled anti-black and Indian post?
Those aren't scheduled.
Those are honestly from right here.
Those are inspiration from the front dome there.
It's a lot of Galaxy Gas has allowed me to think that quickly.
Hell yeah, brother.
But I think it's funny because that's why a lot of people like me weather cancellations and things.
It doesn't affect me because I look at this and I know there's three things that are the most important in the world.
We are a Zionist-occupied government, which is beholden to foreign wars in the Middle East.
Plus, we are occupied by the coffers of the military-industrial complex, which is beholden to any war possible.
Particularly, that's why they are easily occupied by the Zionists because they're an alignment to want more wars, whether it benefits us or not.
And three, whites are being exterminated and are being replaced by non-natives and are honestly destroying the country.
And the more diverse our countries get, the less good it gets.
And that also can be tied with Christianity and straightness.
And that's what I care about.
I've cared about that's the number one things.
And those things are true.
People say that that's extreme, that's far-right, that's terrible, that's that's antagonistic, but it's backed by data.
And we provide it on the show all the time.
And I'm not to say that doesn't mean I hate anyone, I'm not against anyone, but I'm saying people are against me.
So I have the right to defend myself.
I'm not an attacker, I'm not a terrorist, but I have the right to defend myself against people who don't want me to exist.
And that's, and you used to be an example here, but now we got, I'm trading you in for a little pump.
michael mendoza
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Give me a more of a black guy.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Well, you know, actually, we were just talking about this earlier, but was it last night or the night before Nick Fuentes was debating some liberal.
And instead of actually contending with the facts, this guy would just go into this school marm kind of like chaperone mode where he was just like, I can't believe that you would say that.
I can't believe that you would say that like Hitler wasn't such a bad guy or the Holocaust or whatever, this and that.
People don't really care so much about the facts.
They care about how they look to other people.
It's not so much about.
Whoops, okay.
elijah schaffer
So it was you being played back here.
michael mendoza
Yeah, it's not so much about like if something is true or not.
People just like it's a very feminine way of looking at anything, really.
It's just that, you know, they just don't want to actually care about telling the truth.
They just care about how they look in the social situation, how it's going to affect their social standing.
It's a very feminine way to think.
And then that's how most people, that's kind of what they've been pigeonholed into thinking.
earl gray
Well, that's exactly right.
And it's more like what it's not what you said, it's how you said it.
And if you said it in a if you said retard or you said some faggot or something like that, you said some word like that.
That's that's that's um I guess more important to them than than than what you said, which was the fact.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Well, and that's a very woman thing.
And like that's that's the feminine aspect of things where people go, oh, you know, like, and everyone knows this with girls.
It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
Because as a guy, you could literally be like, they've proven this on dating sites, by the way.
You're going to be like, I have a history of sexual domestic violence against women.
And you post it and you're a hot guy.
michael mendoza
It's like some super chat.
elijah schaffer
You get matched with a lot of women because they think that you're joking because women think that you're not a threat.
Because when they think of rapists and abusers, they think of ugly fat guys.
I'm not joking.
Women just tie that together, right?
And this is how they think.
And we know, and we know, women are the biggest abusers in relationships.
They're emotionally unstable and they tend to be the most violent, according to statistics.
But if you say that, people also say, bro, are you sexist?
Are you misogynist?
And I say this.
Why are facts labeled?
Why can't facts be facts and truth be truth?
And I think one of the most interesting things we can talk about about this idea is, you know, everyone's talking about FEMA.
I have an article I want to read to you that proves how they manipulate our minds.
But basically, my Yorkis, who is an evil guy who runs DHS, runs FEMA.
michael mendoza
Democrat.
elijah schaffer
And of course, he's a Democrat.
This is what I want you to notice.
They're all Democrats.
Mr. White, we'd agree.
They're all Democrats.
That's not even a controversial statement.
They're all Democrats.
They're registered Democrats.
They run the government.
michael mendoza
Agree?
unidentified
Conspiracy.
elijah schaffer
Let's go.
Democrats run the government right now.
earl gray
And Mayorkis is kind of like a weird sounding name.
I've never heard it before.
It's like, my sounds like from Gotham City or something, like a DC novel.
Mayorkis.
elijah schaffer
It sounds like that's me, the major like during his intro.
michael mendoza
I just earwar, yeah, right, yeah.
elijah schaffer
Wait, was that you that we were on when I had control of it, and you would introduce yourself, and I just cut you off?
michael mendoza
No, I don't think so.
Was that Megan?
elijah schaffer
No, it was somebody here.
Like, every time we'd be there, I had a guest, so we got to do that more.
I'd be like, go and introduce yourself.
michael mendoza
Talk about Kaylin.
elijah schaffer
Oh, yeah, it was Kaylin.
I had a guy on here for a wicked guest.
And every time we start the show, he would be like, first day, he was like, I was like, oh, go ahead, introduce yourself.
He goes, hi, I'm and I'd cut him off.
All right, that's enough.
That's enough.
And we'd cut him off because I was like, all right, you're done.
By like the third day, he was like, you're not, I'm not going to introduce myself, and you're just going to cut me off.
I'd go, no, dude.
Just introduce yourself.
He's like, I don't want to do it.
And I was like, just do it.
He goes, all right, I go, that's enough.
That's enough.
Yep, yep, and over there.
We don't want to hear that.
Okay, so a lot of people are making these claims, right?
Like we just saw from Jared Taylor.
People are making claims backed by, I don't know, evidence, which of course they're calling rumors now.
Which can we get back to calling rumors, rumors, not misinformation?
Something's either true or not.
michael mendoza
Right.
elijah schaffer
This missing context shit is bullshit.
unidentified
Yeah.
michael mendoza
And then there's different forms too.
It's like misinformation, disinformation, malinformation.
Like it's just like, I mean, do we do we really need three different categories?
Well, I guess four different categories, including actual information, it's kind of gotten to be a little bit too much nowadays.
Because it's like, how can you even tell someone's intent when they disseminate information?
Like, oh, it's a malinformation, which means that it was intentionally bad.
Well, isn't that misinformation or isn't that disinformation?
I just don't know the difference anymore.
elijah schaffer
It's true or not.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Or it's bullshit, which is why I have a PhD because always says I have a PhD in bullshitting, which is great.
But I will say this: bringing up some information here, basically they brought up somebody.
So like every time I look, there's a new government employee that sort of pops out of the middle of nowhere.
Okay.
And they're sort of attributed to correcting the record.
So FEMA, which I never considered to be one of these agencies that works on, you know, stopping rumors and bad information, popped up and decided to clear the record.
Jacqueline Rothenberg, who is a Democrat, you can bring this up.
Jacqueline Rothenberg, who is a FEMA, you can know by the gray check marks that there are many dangerous, misleading rumors spreading about Helene.
You know, when there's in the middle of a hurricane that literally potentially killed over a thousand people that has definitely killed more than they're going to report, that you want to hear about the dangers of rumors.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
You know what I mean?
Like you can't, you don't have water, and what you want to hear about is how dangerous rumors are.
michael mendoza
Or you have blacks like looting the local grocery store or something.
But, you know, rumors, that's another, that's just another Trump we can call them, maybe, you know, rumors.
Another euphemism has been added to the list, to the, to, to the ever-growing list.
earl gray
Dangerous rumors alluding this.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Yeah.
The hurricane.
elijah schaffer
Have you ever seen those rumors?
earl gray
Yeah.
There's rumors outside right now.
unidentified
They're coming in.
earl gray
They're coming back in.
elijah schaffer
Rumors are everywhere.
Okay.
unidentified
So one of the things was so she rumors have gone insane.
elijah schaffer
Right, right.
Well, she said there are many dangerous, misleading rumors spreading about Helene response, which can actively prevent survivors from getting help.
Our top priority is ensuring that disaster assistance is reaching people in need.
michael mendoza
Well, she sounds like a nice enough girl.
I mean, right?
elijah schaffer
Well, she does.
And then someone just said, for fuck's sake, put up a picture of her.
michael mendoza
Square word.
elijah schaffer
That's crazy.
michael mendoza
Look at the schnauz on that one.
elijah schaffer
My left eye started going out right now.
That's crazy.
There's just too many lights.
I've been in front of the light for two years.
unidentified
Yeah.
michael mendoza
All right.
elijah schaffer
Well, I took, I'm going to take my hat off because I think it's probably just the pressure on the head from the hat.
Just it does do that.
And that's not even a joke, by the way.
I'm not even making that up.
michael mendoza
No.
elijah schaffer
Wear a hat too long when you're on air and you have lights.
That's crazy.
michael mendoza
I would love to see the side profile on this one.
earl gray
That's somebody.
That feels like somebody that would lure you.
elijah schaffer
I attach this.
Dr. Paul Avroz, Coral Gables expert in Rhino Plasty in Miami, Florida.
It's no context needed.
I just dropped that.
michael mendoza
Do they charge like by the square like centimeter or something?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
michael mendoza
Because she might have a pretty hefty bill.
elijah schaffer
So she trained apparently in Israel for a role in government.
michael mendoza
Thank you, Jake.
Okay.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, so it was pretty interesting.
What was going on here?
So, you know, someone said Hurricane Alien Tennessee residents says FEMA is sending out text messages telling everyone do not help neighbors in need.
Let's go and let's watch this.
This is quite interesting.
She said there's rumors out.
We're going to look at their rumors, by the way, and what's wrong with them.
michael mendoza
Check this out.
unidentified
I have to just excuse my parents because we have no power.
We have no running water.
But I'm just so pissed off that I've got to make this clear.
We got a notification from Tima.
I'm guessing that's FEMA for Tennessee.
I'm not exactly sure.
I think it's supposed to be the disaster relief people.
But they were like, do not donate your time.
We don't want you to donate time unless we ask for you.
And we don't want you to donate stuff to other people.
You need to just donate money and stuff to us and get your instructions from us and listen to us.
What?
And then you say, they said yesterday, we don't go into areas that the roads are not easily accessible.
What?
You are the disaster relief people.
Like, that is your job to go into the areas that are hit by disaster and provide relief.
Not to just go to the easy area and sit and wait for the people that are in the disaster area to be able to come to you.
The roads that we do have were cleared by the locals and you have to have trucks and stuff to be able to get through there.
Like, it's just beyond me.
So, and you have us all messed up.
If you think you're going to come here and bark orders at us and then expect the people just to give you the money and us trust that you're going to try to take care of us when you not, you don't go into areas that are not easily accessible.
What?
Like, this is Cock County, girl.
So donate to our local churches because they will make sure that the people that are needed will get it.
And you need to just, while we appreciate what help you're trying to provide, I don't think you understood the assignment because it's not to just go to one location in hopes that the people in the disaster area can make it to you.
So just sit back and watch and we'll show you how it's done, but we're not going to stop.
So please and thank you.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, please and thank you.
So they actually are blocking people from helping each other.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Why are so I've mentioned the suggestion of why that's happening and that's because they don't want people to know they can help each other through their own problems.
Why do you think that's happening?
michael mendoza
Well, because they want to, well, because they want Big Daddy government to have to step in for you every single time.
jared taylor
Big D. Big D.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Big D.
michael mendoza
Yeah, right.
So, I mean, I think that's kind of what it is at the core is that they only want you to be reliant on the government, which is why, you know, they didn't want you to know about ivermectin.
They didn't want you to know about a lot of these great products that you can get in one of these little things right here from the wellness company with my camera.
Oh, yeah.
elijah schaffer
By the way, so they are blocking people.
I've been telling you guys a lot of the products that we end up pushing here are better than just products you might need.
Now, I told you this has everything you need for an infection, amoxicillin, a Z-PAC, azithromycin.
It's hard to pronounce.
Plus fluconazole, everything for infections from nasal, throat, even skin infections.
Now, these are antibiotics.
Like you can get these at the doctor.
But what happens when you can't get to the doctor?
Also, what happens if you don't have insurance or if you can't get an appointment same day?
You could literally be jeopardizing your life.
But on top of that, not only can you have the antibiotics and everything you need directly in your house, but one of the top things I can tell you is it has ivermectin, which can help fight parasites, different things.
You go, parasites?
It also can help fight COVID, other different diseases.
Why would I do that?
Why would I have that?
I don't know, because hurricanes can hit, wipe out your community.
I don't live near a river.
Well, I don't live near one either, but I still have friends here in Florida without power.
It lived in nice neighborhoods.
It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor or whatever.
You need to have an emergency medical kit in your house.
Like, there's never been a better time now than having this.
Plus, Dr. McCall and those that have worked on this have made sure that it has everything you need, plus advice.
You join a community when you get this at twc.health slash offensive.
It's absolutely amazing because Hurricane Helene has actually, you know, put people in jeopardy.
They don't have their insulin.
They don't have different medications.
But also, imagine how easy it is to get a cut, something to happen, plus to get sick.
Your immune response is down.
You're wet.
You're cold.
Many people need these kits.
Make sure that you pick yours up today at TWC.health slash offensive for $30 off.
You've got to check it out today.
TWC.h-e-l-th-h slash O-F-F-E-N-S-I-V-E.
You've got to check it out today.
michael mendoza
By the way, anyhow, TWC gang, we up.
Anyhow, chats.
I got some chats here.
elijah schaffer
Do you?
michael mendoza
Yeah, one from MV4 Vendetta, which is actually very relevant.
And I meant to bring this up earlier when you asked me that question.
MV4 Vendetta says, and by the way, I can't bring the chat to my screen.
Don't know what's going on, but it says, Elijah, please remind me why we need government again and throw the Democrat down the well so my country can be free.
A quote from Forat.
So I don't know if you want to address that one real quick before I go to the next one.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, so there was this, the throw a Democrat down the well comes from this time when hundreds of years ago when Democrats were basically rumored to be poisoning wells.
Yeah, they were poisoning the wells.
People were getting sick and they realized that there were certain Democrats poisoning wells in areas and they realized the Democrats were the real racists in that moment.
michael mendoza
Eastern European Democrats, Democrats too, which is actually the curtain code Democrats.
Yeah, which is actually the inspiration for vampires.
In case you didn't know.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, demon rats, Democrats, diplomats.
It's crazy, but it's true.
michael mendoza
And then I do have another chat here by Eli9000 and says, are any of you able to come to Damascus and help clean up?
They need clothes, socks, shoes, and food.
So I'm guessing Damascus isn't, it sounds like it would be in Georgia.
You know, I mean, I wish I could.
I have a lot of stuff going on.
And, you know, Elijah does too, actually, coming up here soon.
elijah schaffer
You know what?
I actually want to go.
michael mendoza
I'm assuming they don't mean the Damascus.
elijah schaffer
No, I actually do want to go.
But my wife is giving birth this week.
michael mendoza
Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
elijah schaffer
So unlike some commentators who need to get, you know, surgeries and different things, I'm not making any excuses.
My wife is over 40 weeks pregnant and she's supposed to give birth on Sunday.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
And so I'm currently here supporting her because I'm not going to be gone while my wife gives birth.
However, if this continues as another hurricane is hitting, I do plan on going over there.
It is remarkable what's happening and it is disgusting.
However, donating to relief, if that's you and you live there and you guys need supplies, email me and I'll send you some money because I know cash helps too.
michael mendoza
Yeah, right.
elijah schaffer
So that's actually easy.
michael mendoza
Yeah, if someone has a cash app directly, because I mean, now they're just confiscating all the relief that's trying to go into the area, which actually we can get into that in a minute.
I know that Elon was going toe-to-toe with Pete Buttplug earlier on Twitter.
I have one more chat I'm going to read because actually someone just sent this in as we were reading the other two.
It said, I went through a flood before.
The $750 is just for initial shelter.
Months later, they wrote me a check for $530 for the contents of the contents of a three-bedroom house.
If you lose your house, the max benefit is $32K.
And also, thank you, Brian, for bringing up that chat on the screen.
I don't know why it's not working on my end, but that's crazy.
So, I mean, you know, even in even in the poorest part of the country, I'd imagine that your house is probably worth more than 32K.
Actually, well, probably not in the absolute poorest parts of the country.
Maybe that's kind of close to the value of it, actually.
But still, I mean, it's insane to lose your home where you possibly raise your family.
There's a bunch of priceless memorabilia that you can never get back, electronics, all kinds of stuff.
elijah schaffer
I've had a lot of friends lose property recently.
Like when I moved to Texas, I have a good friend, a very good friend, who worked for Prague or you now.
And, you know, he's a dope dude and his house burned down.
Plus, my wife's best friend, their house burned down as well.
I've had a friend's house flood.
One of our friends that we work with very well had his house flood from a broken pipe.
And this does very costly.
You know, and the $32,000.
I mean, that's kind of crazy because honestly, $32,000 wouldn't even cover like a quarter of what it just costs to build this room out, right?
michael mendoza
Yeah, right.
elijah schaffer
I'm just saying, like, it's not the, like, when you're talking about 32 grand, like, I understand people make different amounts of money, but $32,000 is not even as much as a wedding cost.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Like, and that's something people don't understand.
The reason why I'm so raw and real about issues in the world and I don't care about offending people.
michael mendoza
Give it to me, right?
elijah schaffer
And I just take the sheath off and I just raw dog it.
I'm bareback in life is simply because I know that the illusion of help isn't real.
Like, there's no country and camaraderie that cares for you.
There's no insurance company that's going to back you up.
You got to fight for your shit.
Sometimes you got to fucking murder people.
I'm totally joking.
Well, that's a total joke.
michael mendoza
I was told nationwide is on your side.
So are you telling me that may not happen?
elijah schaffer
Sometimes you got to file insurance claims.
Other times you have to commit mass genocide in Syria, which is what the U.S. did with Israel and coalition armies.
michael mendoza
That's why they're asking for help in Damascus.
elijah schaffer
Sometimes you got to invite people to your country.
Other times you just murder women and children in Gaza.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I love how you can't say there's two genders.
I got a video deleted on Instagram for saying there's two genders, but I'm not doing that.
michael mendoza
Really?
unidentified
Nowadays.
elijah schaffer
It just happened.
michael mendoza
That's crazy.
Okay.
Wow.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
The only thing, because I looked at it, the only thing I said there was like, you know what?
And it turns out maybe you really can't defeat biology because God only made two genders and there's nothing else but male and female.
And it got deleted for hate speech against LGBTQ.
And so you can do that.
But I could post a video being like, congratulations, just murdered some Gaza children today.
You know, Shyrell Israel.
And then I could be completely fine.
So you can celebrate murdering children on the internet.
That's fine.
But you cannot.
I wonder who owns Meta.
michael mendoza
The Democrat.
elijah schaffer
The Democrat.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I don't like the Democrats.
They're always causing problems.
Speaking of somebody who's very gay, an actual homosexual, Secretary Sex Rotary.
We should call him Sex Rotary.
Can we call him Sex Rotary?
michael mendoza
That's hot.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Sex Rotary.
That made you uncomfortable.
earl gray
I heard he was fake gay.
elijah schaffer
Really?
michael mendoza
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm pretty sure he's not fake gay.
earl gray
I don't know.
Since Forever, he was trying to beef up his political profile and he was pretending to do you know what's weird when I used to touch stuff.
michael mendoza
No, that's Barack Obama.
earl gray
Is it?
michael mendoza
No.
earl gray
But he was doing crack.
unidentified
No, when I was on the Brock Obama with Dave Rubin, I used to work with him.
I was like, in the back of a limousine.
elijah schaffer
Did you?
No.
So people would get confused.
They think I was the gay guy at Blaze and he was me because they'd be like, oh, yeah, Elijah's with some gay guy.
And then they would think Dave Rubin was the straight guy and I was the gay guy.
earl gray
What?
elijah schaffer
Because Dave Rubin comes across like a straight guy.
michael mendoza
He does.
earl gray
I thought he was straight.
michael mendoza
Dave Rubin.
earl gray
Dave Rubin's gay.
unidentified
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
elijah schaffer
You went to India recently, didn't you?
earl gray
Yeah, and I met Dave Rubin.
elijah schaffer
Secretary, Secretary Pete Buttigieg, Pee-Pee-Butt, said, No one is shutting down the airspace and FAA doesn't block legitimate rescue and recovery flights.
If you're encountering a problem, give me a call.
Elon Musk said, There are hundreds of reports of FEMA FAA blocking flights.
This literally just happened.
I will follow you.
Please DM me the number to call.
Elon Musk said, still waiting.
The helicopter is trying to land to deliver critical supplies.
What's the number to call?
Thanks for helping simplify the FAA.
No, Tam.
Support flights are now underway.
Much appreciated.
Thanks for the call.
Hopefully, we can resolve this soon.
unidentified
Whatever.
elijah schaffer
Hold up.
I'm looking at this robust.
Are you saying this, man?
And hundreds of others are lying.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
So the point was: is like we're going to look at a document here where the federal government is trying to run cover.
Like, Pete Budajej wants to get on Twitter and be like, we're not blocking flights.
We'll okay your flights.
But to okay the flights, use critical thinking here.
What had to happen?
unidentified
You had to be a billionaire and call them out and then get in a DM.
elijah schaffer
That's why people wonder why I call out airlines and stuff.
It works.
michael mendoza
Oh, yeah.
elijah schaffer
People are like, oh, I don't want to hear you bitch about Uber Eats.
The other day, they reimbursed me like $5 for missing a $20 item.
And I just wrote on Twitter, you know, hey, they did this.
$25 reimbursed immediately, more than I paid for the item.
Unfortunately, companies don't like being called out publicly.
It's not about me calling them out.
It's like, dude, but that's gay because if you don't have a following, if you're not Elon Musk, then you can't get this kind of access.
And the government is the pay-for-play.
That proves it.
They care about the elites only.
And I'm not an elite, by the way.
I'm talking about Uber Eats, not the government.
So I'm an elite Uber Eats client, maybe, but you can probably, yeah.
michael mendoza
Probably.
By the way, that reminds me of Joey Manorino the other day.
He was at Burlington.
He was at Burlington Coach Factory, and the line was super long, and then there were no cashiers.
elijah schaffer
Joey's dope.
So then he's from like Spain.
Sorry.
michael mendoza
Italy.
His wife is from Spain.
But then he went on Twitter to complain about it.
And I was just like, maybe you're just at Burlington Coach Factory.
Like, I mean, it's not like Sacks Fifth Avenue.
unidentified
You know what I mean?
michael mendoza
He's like complaining online.
elijah schaffer
He's not complaining about Spirit Airlines.
When I'm saying this, it's on Delta or like American.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Or JetBlue, but not like something else.
Yeah.
It's like, you know what's crazy?
You know what a shithole Philadelphia is?
Like complaining online?
Like, shit.
I went to Philadelphia.
It was a shithole.
You're like, okay, well, Beverly Hills, sure.
Go talk about Beverly Hills Hotel, but Philadelphia Motel 6 or Super 8, I wouldn't complain.
But what do you think about that, Earl?
The fact that the government, I mean, like, what we're seeing here, this doesn't settle me that like they're actually not doing what they're claiming that they're doing.
I think that it's like shows if you're rich and you raise some shit, they'll give you some clearance.
To me, this is what politics always has been.
I've never thought that if you're rich, you can't get special access.
Like, I never thought that.
I thought this was how it was.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Earl, thoughts?
elijah schaffer
Full standards.
earl gray
Yeah, I guess he was trying to land his helicopter to deliver aid, and then there was a problem.
They were denying him.
And then eventually he got in contact with Pete.
michael mendoza
And then, meanwhile, and then meanwhile, Pete Budajudge is trying to deliver AIDS.
earl gray
He was trying to kiss another guy.
michael mendoza
Can I get a drum, bro?
Okay, never mind.
All right.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
All right.
A little late.
unidentified
Okay.
All right.
michael mendoza
Well, okay.
So, but.
unidentified
Ladies and gentlemen, we got a homosexual politician.
michael mendoza
Man, this is crazy.
unidentified
I was trying to, I was trying to land this helicopter the other day, man, and then they wouldn't let me land.
michael mendoza
That shit crazy, bro.
elijah schaffer
And I was just thinking, you know, I fucked enough dudes in my life, and I've bought enough children from wombs I've rented.
Might as well call him that has had more children than me and give him special occupational access.
Have you ever had special occupational access to the rear end entrance of a young man?
michael mendoza
I have not, unfortunately.
I'm not, I don't live in DC.
elijah schaffer
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Pete Budig.
I need a spanking.
My name is Brian.
michael mendoza
Yeah, I was about to say, I know who needs a spanking.
elijah schaffer
Brian, spanking.
michael mendoza
Can you go to Brian Cam?
elijah schaffer
Brian Cam.
michael mendoza
All right.
Anyway.
elijah schaffer
Anyway, so that was that.
Now, on moving out, something interesting, though, in the midst of all of this, one of the reasons why people say they don't want this place to vote is, do you know that these areas were barely won by Trump by one point in the last election?
michael mendoza
No.
elijah schaffer
Wow.
If these districts weren't able to vote, that currently were wiped out, they're predominantly Republican districts.
It's like a seven to three ratio, eight to two.
So, like 80% of the districts, 70%, 80% are Republican.
If they didn't vote in the last election, Biden would have won those states by 3%, which means he would have won in a landslide, not by a small margin.
That's why people are seeing that the response might also be related to what?
Stopping white voters from voting.
michael mendoza
Exactly.
elijah schaffer
Polymarket explained this, though, that during the midst of this response that's actually affected Trump positively, Trump's odds in Pennsylvania are up 6% ahead.
Right now, in Pennsylvania, we're talking about in a swing state, he's up 6%.
So that's a huge percentage increase.
I mean, because Philadelphia, we just saw recently, is even swinging a little bit more than it has towards Trump, even though I think it's eight out of two is the same way.
I think it was 10 to 1 or 9 to 1.
What was it?
michael mendoza
I forget that.
You were there, though.
elijah schaffer
You remember that, right?
It was predominantly Democrat, but the fact that there's any Republicans inside of Philadelphia is amazing.
Mr. White was explained to me recently that there's a demographic shift in Philadelphia where certain regions of the city directly were finding out that despite the promises of Democrats over decades of false hopes and dreams, that some people are saying, look, I want to feed my kids.
The fact that the price index of food is up 18% in the following three months, meaning you're not going to be able to afford the food you can afford today, that some people are saying enough is enough.
Thank you for that.
michael mendoza
Is that right, Mr. White?
unidentified
That's it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
michael mendoza
Riveting.
Riveting stuff.
elijah schaffer
Those are really deep.
Yeah, he said it.
He said it.
He did it in three languages, too.
He did it in Chinese.
earl gray
Well, I would go one step further and say that Biden and Kamala sent that hurricane to devastate those regions so that they couldn't vote for Trump.
elijah schaffer
This is not a joke.
Let me show you this right now.
Marjorie Taylor Green, also known as what is that?
michael mendoza
What is she known as?
I don't know.
MPG, I don't know.
elijah schaffer
I don't know.
She said this.
Let me go down here.
michael mendoza
Known as Marjorie Trader Greene.
Who called her that?
I forgot who someone called her that, but that's the only other conservator term I could think of for her.
elijah schaffer
She actually posted this.
She did this.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
She said, yes, they can control the weather.
michael mendoza
Who is they?
elijah schaffer
It's ridiculous for anyone to lie and say that it can't be done.
So take that off the screen.
unidentified
Take it off.
earl gray
Cloud CD.
Ticket CD and all that kind of stuff.
michael mendoza
Who's they, though?
elijah schaffer
No, wait.
I know.
Watch.
Watch, watch this.
michael mendoza
Democrat.
Democrats.
elijah schaffer
You're too good.
Look at she recently.
She recently was nagged by the establishment political class for this.
michael mendoza
She was neged, you said.
elijah schaffer
Marjorie Taylor Green blamed wildfires on secret Jewish space lasers.
Why do we laugh at politicians who say this stuff?
I feel like we should take this very seriously.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it isn't.
elijah schaffer
It's like talking to a chef and then being like, you know, there's additives in food.
unidentified
And you go, oh, what a fucking idiot.
elijah schaffer
This guy says there's additives in food.
Well, I mean, he works professionally with food all day.
earl gray
He's a food guy.
You should know.
elijah schaffer
He does the food stuff.
I just eat the food.
He makes it.
And it's like, I don't know.
What do you think, Todd?
You think Jewish space lasers are real?
Marjorie Taylor Green?
Got a Jew here that loves Jewish space lasers.
How many do you have?
unidentified
Do I have personally?
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
unidentified
I'm working on building one.
elijah schaffer
He's building one.
michael mendoza
He's building.
elijah schaffer
He's building a Jewish space laser.
earl gray
It's called the Iron Dome.
michael mendoza
That's God.
earl gray
That's what I get every Friday night.
elijah schaffer
The question is: the face you make when you're getting in that Iron Dome.
Anyway, on the flip side, by the way, we had a nice Jewish woman here the other night.
You can meet her.
Yeah, you should meet her.
There's a lot here.
This is the most Jewish area in the country.
michael mendoza
Well, next to Brooklyn.
elijah schaffer
Hot Jewish nose job Jewish.
unidentified
Oh.
elijah schaffer
There you go.
michael mendoza
We have actually had a lot of his interest has been peaked.
elijah schaffer
It's been peaked.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
They say that a little Jew boy's nose grows two inches every time.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Another Jew gains hope.
unidentified
Yeah.
earl gray
Another Jew cuts their nose.
michael mendoza
He said that.
He said that she can schwatza his schnitzel.
elijah schaffer
They uh they circumcise the nose and the chef.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
It's a double, it's the uh circumcision of age when it's uh eight days old and 18 years old.
You get the nose done, right?
unidentified
That's right.
elijah schaffer
And they say this: white girls have uh fake tits and real noses, and Jewish girls have real tits and fake noses.
That's always the thing.
I gotta stop doing the air horns.
Okay, anyway, what do you think about what the hell is this show divulging into?
What do you think about this?
So go back to Marjorie Taylor Green there.
Isn't it kind of fun switching the show?
unidentified
It is.
michael mendoza
It is fun, actually.
elijah schaffer
You need to control everything.
michael mendoza
That's once I get screamed at.
elijah schaffer
Okay, so Marjorie Taylor green said they control the weather and she had talked about the fact that it was Jews with space lasers controlling the and this is very uninformative to the audience here, but But I think this was a node to that.
I think so.
And this is from her.
I want to show you this.
This is her official account here, by the way.
It's not parody.
michael mendoza
Yeah, probably.
Well, yeah, because there is that MTG press parody account that people fall for all the time.
elijah schaffer
She has another account.
Watch, I want to show you something.
She has another account.
michael mendoza
Well, by the way, Shane Cashman has been talking about fake clouds for a long time, and they've been gradually coming out more and more with talking about cloud seating, which is a real thing.
It's been going on for a long time.
And I think Bill Gates was the one that was talking about putting specs of metal in the sky to block out the sun.
So it's like they have ways to bring my other account here.
elijah schaffer
She follows me too.
By the way, these politicians, I'm going to remind you this.
The reason why people hate me is because you think I write crazy shit on Twitter.
Remember, Matt Gates, Marjorie Taylor Green, Thomas Nassey, like they follow me on the internet.
They follow my pages.
Some say they watch the shows.
I've had some of them on here.
It's kind of funny to me that the politicians watch this.
So when they say they, remember, I don't talk about crazy shit all the time for no other reason than the fact that I know who follows me.
And Trump Jr. follows me.
And we DM and whatever.
Someone tonight that's very prominent DM'd us.
The reason why I say this is not for any blazing.
No, but they, but I was trying to get them to admit who they was, right?
I was like, who's they?
I was like, kind of like texting, like, hey, look at they.
And then they weren't knowing who they was.
And then they blamed on someone else.
But it doesn't matter.
I won't get into that.
My point is, is that these people do DM me on the side and are like, hey, is there something to this?
And I say, yeah, it is.
We are an occupied government.
This stuff is happening.
And who are we occupied by?
unidentified
Global.
elijah schaffer
Democrats.
michael mendoza
Oh, okay.
Sorry, I have to keep up.
elijah schaffer
Chai comms.
That's China.
michael mendoza
Stupid me.
elijah schaffer
Do you know one time, though, when I was at Blaze?
I got okay.
I should make a list, not a 99 thesis, but 99 times I almost got fired.
One of the times, I should say these are all the reasons why I left there because these are true.
I was in Arizona at a resort.
And, you know, I was doing what anyone does.
you're on vacation you're having some drinks and you start ranting against the Chinese you know just a typical what year was this uh 2022.
Okay.
michael mendoza
Oh, because it's like after COVID and everything.
I can kind of see that.
okay that makes sense but i mean normally i don't go on chinese rants but well i do okay So I got a comment that I said, you know, I just really dislike the Chinese.
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
You know, I said I really dislike them.
I just find them stinky.
They fart.
They're pushy.
Oh, have you ever taken a plane to China?
I used to work there for a while.
It was terrible.
michael mendoza
And they eat a bunch of duck too and just like weird things.
Imagine the smell.
elijah schaffer
They don't do overeat eggs.
They fry their eggs in a pot of oil.
Like they throw the egg, they sousie the egg and oil.
michael mendoza
Oh, I didn't even know that.
That sounds disgusting.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, it's disgusting.
Okay.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Okay.
elijah schaffer
Try to get a five-star resort in China.
Okay.
michael mendoza
Okay.
elijah schaffer
but uh me love you no long time you know this is not a this is like think about this there's There's such a strange culture.
They can't just eat a slice of bread.
They have to eat 2,000 of something.
I'm talking about rice, right?
michael mendoza
Oh, yeah.
elijah schaffer
Like oh, I want for my meal.
I want 3 000.
michael mendoza
At first I thought he was slices of grain that they eat 2,000 slices of bread.
I'm like I really.
elijah schaffer
But yeah, and I got called in the ceo's office right, I mean I don't probably violating some contract, but I think i'm fine.
Um and uh, and it was like you know.
So you know, people say they're mad at the Chinese government, people say that they're mad at things.
But why are you mad?
Who said I really dislike the Chinese?
And I go, yeah, I mean, statistically, you know, the only Chinese that I would be talking about were ones with social media profiles and public influence, which would be people that live in cities.
And those that live in cities are 100% in exchange.
They live there for the security by being allegiant to the Communist Party.
I don't like communists.
I think the country is corrupted.
I think they're run by a dictatorial leader.
They're enemies of the United States.
And I'm not a big fan.
He goes, yeah, but why would you say the Chinese?
Because, you know, there's a Chinese guy that works at Lauder with Crowder.
And I'm like, yeah, well, he's an American, right?
He's not Asian.
I was like, but he's an American, right?
Like, he's not Chinese.
He's an American.
He's like, he said, the Chinese.
I go, I don't know.
I just think, didn't you tell me not to look at race here?
I just saw him as like a me, but drives worse, you know, half the time.
And, you know, he said that.
And I go, I go, you know, can we not like use our minds here to judge these people?
But back then, I almost got in trouble.
But I brought up this point.
I said, you know what's weird?
And I brought up tweets.
I said, I'm getting called into the office for saying that I'm not fond of the Chinese.
Check out these tweets where I said, I hate the British.
Look at these tweets where I said, you know, Italians fucking piss me off.
I said, why is it that I can talk shit working on a big network about white people?
Why is it that I can go out there and I can actually and genuinely say, I hate British people, I hate this, but then I talk about the Chinese and suddenly I'm in trouble.
Why is it that there's certain groups of people that if I say I don't like them, I'm going to get called in the office.
But if it's any group of white people, it's completely tolerated here at the big conservative networks.
And to be fair, in the conversation, it was like, fair enough.
And that's how I got out of getting fired at that time.
I go, so that, so you have to fire me for the tweets for the British and say I fired him for talking shit on the British.
But you don't care about me talking shit on white people because that's acceptable here because this institution is run by globalists.
michael mendoza
Right.
Yeah.
Well, like, and then the anti-China hate is always completely subsidized.
Like, there's a lot of media organizations that, if you're wondering why that rhetoric goes so crazy all the time and why they're always pushing that, it's probably because they're getting a big check from some kind of anti-CCP or some expat who left China and then is actively working against the government.
So just so you know, I mean, that stuff is just not organic.
People don't talk about the CCP because CCP isn't really infiltrating the government, like how some people say.
elijah schaffer
So CCP don't have it.
Not even once.
michael mendoza
Not even once.
elijah schaffer
No, but like, isn't that a good point, Mr. White?
I said, like, you know, if we're going to be consistent, this is why I don't take people seriously on the internet that act outraged by things.
If you're going to say and create standards, like in a company, they have standards.
In a company, if you're saying, you know, hey, we don't see color.
We're going to be, you know, we have HR.
We want to all be respectful to each other.
earl gray
Are they colorblind or something?
elijah schaffer
I think so.
But it's like you should hold that across the board.
But if you selectively enforce standards, it shows you have a bias.
And if you have a bias, you have an outside influence.
What does that influence?
I feel like that's fair to ask.
Why are we, we should be consistent in business practice, yes?
earl gray
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Exactly.
This guy love this guy.
No, but we should be consistent in business practice.
And I felt like when I worked in Big Con media and con Inc., whatever you want to call it, it was extremely inconsistent and it was biased.
And that's why I don't believe any of them.
It's like, and I always say this on this show directly.
I don't care if you don't get the COVID vaccine now and talk about it.
When you weren't standing up for me, when you were telling my audience that we were dopes, you know, Ben Shapiro, when you were saying these things.
michael mendoza
Get the vaccine dopes.
elijah schaffer
How's Jordan the vaccine?
Jordan Peterson.
earl gray
I went to get a coma because of the vaccine.
michael mendoza
Get the vaccine.
unidentified
I don't know.
earl gray
I don't want to.
unidentified
How's Jordan?
elijah schaffer
My daughter got plastic surgery and I went into a coma.
michael mendoza
Spot on.
Spot on.
earl gray
Does that sound like him?
elijah schaffer
Andrew Tate.
michael mendoza
Andrew Tom Taylor my daughter.
elijah schaffer
My wife looks like Eugene Carroll.
She flies on a corona.
earl gray
She flies around in Britain.
michael mendoza
Wait, who is Eugene today?
earl gray
By the way, put up Eugene Carroll.
I don't even want to do it because it seems rude.
It seems rude.
elijah schaffer
This is my phone's background picture right now.
It was from today.
unidentified
It's Dave Rubin with Jordan Peterson.
michael mendoza
My idols.
My idols.
elijah schaffer
I just love that.
earl gray
It's like, and I love that because it's like the kings.
Absolute kings.
michael mendoza
To the kings of the intellectual dark web.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, it's Charlotte.
unidentified
Dave Rubenstein and Jordan Peterstein.
elijah schaffer
I think we have a couple more.
We have another super chat.
michael mendoza
Two former Democrats.
elijah schaffer
We have two more super chats as we cut over to Rumble.
michael mendoza
Go to Rico.
Okay, we had one.
Let me filter these out real quick.
There's one for $1, and they dropped a link.
DamascusFBC.com slash online dash giving.
There's a question mark afterwards.
I'm not sure if you have to use a question mark, but damascusfbc.com slash online dash giving.
That's where you can go and you can help out some people.
This is the one way you can help.
This link will take you to the First Baptist Church of Damascus in Virginia, and you can donate there.
earl gray
They were saying donate to the churches and all that kind of stuff.
michael mendoza
Yeah, I mean, I would definitely trust the churches more, I think.
I mean, sometimes they're kind of controlled by the government themselves.
But other than that, I don't think we have any...
I read the other one, I think, that you're referring to.
But yeah, I would definitely encourage people to donate if you can.
If you can't make it out there, if you can't make it to the soup kitchen or whatever.
elijah schaffer
So check this out, guys.
By the way, something very important.
Many of you guys know that I've been actually pushing this amazing product called Bill Tong.
It's like beef turkey, but with an extra layer of fat.
It is also nutritious, delicious, high-protein.
But the reason why I chose this brand, I've been eating it for a long time.
You haven't tried it yet, have you?
Here's some.
Oh, we only have this.
Try the bison chili Bill Tong.
So he'll try it there while I'm talking.
You can just, you know, you can try it.
Just try it.
So basically what this is, they have bison and beef.
It's nitrate free.
It is grass-fed.
Keep showing them.
Show him chew that thing.
unidentified
It is.
elijah schaffer
It is.
michael mendoza
Can we zoom in on him, actually?
elijah schaffer
I can't naturally do it.
michael mendoza
Brian, can we zoom in?
Can we get that?
elijah schaffer
Can we get ASMR?
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Try this.
michael mendoza
Can we get some good masticulation?
Is that the word for chewing?
Masticulating.
elijah schaffer
Masticating.
michael mendoza
Masticate.
elijah schaffer
We're actually all out of the beef because we ate it all.
The beef is my favorite.
The bison's my second favorite, but there's only two, so that's good.
I like the beef chili.
Isn't it good, though?
That's bison.
Have you ever had a bison before?
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
You've had bison?
What do you think about this one?
unidentified
It's really good.
michael mendoza
Let's go.
elijah schaffer
Thank you.
That's the correct answer.
But not only is it this, but it doesn't have any of the crap in it they put in this stuff.
It doesn't have sugar.
So this stuff is like, it doesn't allow this gross sugar.
This is just pure meat and protein.
Here, Todd, try some too.
This is Bison Bill Tong.
Here.
Try that.
It's really good.
It's amazing, and it's delicious, nutritious.
Right now, you can get 10% off of promo code Elijah, E-L-I-J-A-H at farmerbillsprovisions.com.
That's F-A-R-M-E-R-B-I-L-L-S-P-R-O-V-I-S-I-O-N-S dot com.
Get 10% off of promo code Elijah today.
Again, farmerbillsprovisions.com.
Get amazing products that are healthy, nutritious, delicious right to your door from a company that supports small farms, is grass-fed, doesn't have hormones or antibiotics and all this other crap in it.
If you've been looking for a quick snack, get it there today.
Anyways, to the rest of you guys who are watching this, thank you for watching.
Don't forget, we are live right now on censor.tv, promo code offensive.
You can get 20% off the membership.
Plus, we're on locals and we're on Rumble.
We're going to do the rest of the show there.
So we have a second half of the show as we always do.
If you're watching on YouTube, make sure you head over there right now because we go on a small break.
We'll do super chats as well at the end.
It's absolutely imperative that you leave YouTube right now, head over to Rumble or to locals, but particularly get a censored membership.
We're going on a four-minute break.
Go wipe the lotion off your hands.
We know you've been gooning a little too hard tonight, boys.
We'll see you in a second.
Be right back.
Let's trigger the music.
unidentified
Thank you.
elijah schaffer
back, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Elijah Schaefer, and this is Gay Fridays.
michael mendoza
Well, we have the boys together.
elijah schaffer
Thank you.
So, interestingly enough, if you don't know about this, cosmetic surgery is a real problem.
It's actually up to 1.5 million procedures in 2023.
That's up 5% from 2022.
Just mute that there.
I muted you.
You're good.
You can eat.
Up to 2022.
Now, the top five procedures include liposuction, breast augmentation, which I've gotten, tummy tuck, breast lift, eyelid surgery, minimally invasive procedures, lip filler, et cetera, 25 million 2023.
The global cosmetic surgery and procedure market size was estimated at a USD $112.08 billion, which is bigger, I think, than the GDP of a lot of countries in 2022 and is anticipated to grow at a compound annual growth at CAGR, a 14.7% from 2023 to 2030.
Now, 24% of the general population reported having bad, having had some form of cosmetic procedure.
The percentage increased to 40% when only looking at respondents who make more than $150K annually.
So this is kind of an interesting start here.
We're going to talk about plastic surgery a little bit.
I don't know why, except for the fact that I wanted to start talking about more variety of topics for the second half of the show, rather than just looking at like Indians falling out of windows.
Hoover posted on the Discord.
Was that a black person?
unidentified
What was that?
michael mendoza
No, I think it was a Haitian, I think, wasn't it?
Because it was in Springfield.
unidentified
Springfield.
elijah schaffer
Was that right?
Black person falling out of a window.
And I just thought, well, please, please don't.
But someone literally posted in the Discord a black woman hanging on the window, falling out and dying and said, me trying to get everyone to leave a like and a subscribe.
Yeah, you're muted.
There you go.
Like and subscribe on the video.
I don't even know what it said.
But I was thinking a lot about this recently.
So much so that I feel like cosmetic surgeries are a topic of discussion that I feel like we can bring up, especially with the boys, about A, whether they're necessary, B, whether the results are better or worse than the original.
Let's start with an example of contention.
A video is going viral right now, posted from the ROTC crew.
Royce posted this online about whether this girl looks better or worse.
We have Todd here too, by the way, is the peanut gallery today.
Todd is the original producer of the show and also did all my good street videos.
So if you want more street videos, Todd wouldn't mind more work.
And you should let us know in the comments if you want those, because Todd wouldn't mind producing more of those.
But we're going to play this.
So this girl, let's start.
Let's get autistic about all these clips.
Let's start by looking at who she is.
Bring her full screen here for a second.
All right.
Starting with Mr. White.
Sorry, Mr. White.
One through 10.
Five being marriage material if they have a good personality.
Ten being they have no personality and their entire job is just their looks.
One being the Whitaker family.
michael mendoza
Okay.
elijah schaffer
That's a good scale, right?
No one knows what the scale is.
Five is marriage quality if they had a good personality.
You said two?
unidentified
Two and a half.
michael mendoza
Wait, hold on.
elijah schaffer
She's close to the Whitakers?
michael mendoza
Go to this code there.
Yeah, that's a little bold.
Okay, so basically 10's hot, one's not hot.
Let's just say that.
elijah schaffer
I was going to say at least a five there.
michael mendoza
Yeah, let me get a good look again.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, you know if she has a good personality.
I said, she could be someone's wife and she could probably make cute kids.
unidentified
Would you say that's before any rules?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, before any work.
Yeah, I'd say a five.
I would say at least five.
I would say a rule six at a city four or five.
unidentified
She's a five, but you can add two or three points or subtract two or three based on her personality.
michael mendoza
Okay, he said that he said that she's a five, but she can have at least two or three based compared to the same.
elijah schaffer
To me, she's an average-looking girl on the prettier average, meaning like she at least does her hair nice.
Her eyelashes are creepy.
michael mendoza
Yeah, her eyelashes are really bad.
That's the thing.
elijah schaffer
I thought they could comb my hair.
They're comb.
Yeah, but here's the point.
That's also bad angle, bad lighting.
To me, she's a pretty girl.
That's just, I think she's pretty.
If she had a nice personality, if she was ugly, she would be ugly.
I mean, she had a bad personality, she'd be ugly.
That's my point.
Like, if she was really cool and sweet and nice and like, you know, cute, then she could be a cute girl.
That's my, I think guys are unrealistic on shows.
I think most guys I know have girls that look like this.
That's the key thing.
Unless you're like Andy Kate or something.
earl gray
Have you ever seen the film Shock's Tail?
She's like a fish from one of the girls.
michael mendoza
I know what you're talking about.
Well, it's because the eyelashes, because they're so, like, spread out.
Like, it's just, like.
earl gray
It's like the, yeah.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
It's like she couldn't afford the full set, so she just opted for it.
earl gray
Oh my gosh, guys.
Let's get autistic.
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
I said, let's get autistic.
Don't get retarded and fucking gay.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
unidentified
All right.
All right.
elijah schaffer
So shit.
Even I'm like, I'm a sexist misogynist.
And even I'm like, holy shit, relax.
All right.
I'm just kidding.
unidentified
I wasn't.
elijah schaffer
Fucking rip her a new one, boys.
michael mendoza
not but uh check this out all right Now she looks like Madonna.
So now we have a lot of people.
elijah schaffer
Here's after Filler and Bo talks.
But the question is, is she getting more dick after this?
michael mendoza
Probably.
elijah schaffer
I think so, though.
michael mendoza
Probably.
elijah schaffer
I think because I, okay, so this is the discussion I wanted to talk about is whether it makes a woman look more beautiful or more like she wants to get dicked down because guys will fuck a doorknob if it's shaped right, you know?
So my point is, is like, you know, like we like, I prefer to not rate girls on, I have a reverse scale.
It's not a one through 10 in that they get hotter the higher they are.
It's a one through 10 how many drinks I need to fuck.
And if I was younger and single.
But the point of the matter is, is like, if I need zero, you're the hottest on that scale, right?
So what we go through is zero through 10 in my brain, a zero through 10.
One is like, you know, okay, whatever.
Just, you know, need to get in the mood.
Two, probably just means you're normal.
Now we're getting more into the average around three or four, right?
You're like getting to the mood.
You have three or four drinks.
You're good to go.
But five is like, okay, once you had five drinks, you're like getting on the buzzed level.
And so you could kind of hit a lot of tail at that point.
My point about this, and okay, no, everyone, you're so vulgar on your show.
You're so crass.
All right.
Am I wrong, though?
No.
Again, when a girl looks like this to me, I look at a girl like this and I know she's a 304.
She's a whore.
I know that first.
A girl wouldn't do that to herself unless she's trying to get dicked down.
And she felt like she was ugly and she wasn't getting dick.
That's 100% true.
Am I wrong on that?
unidentified
Before the Botox than she was originally.
elijah schaffer
So you think she's uglier here than here?
earl gray
But she didn't have makeup before.
I feel like that's a deciding factor.
michael mendoza
Yeah, that's another thing, too, is the makeup.
elijah schaffer
I mean, I feel like she clammed up in this.
michael mendoza
I feel like she didn't really change.
She went from a seven to a seven, but just now with makeup, and now she's more of like a bimbo seven.
Whereas like before.
earl gray
She blew up her lips a little bit.
michael mendoza
She was like a homely seven before.
Now she's like a bimbo seven.
elijah schaffer
But she's a seven to you?
michael mendoza
I think so.
Yeah.
earl gray
She's just exactly the same as right now.
michael mendoza
Yeah, exactly.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Brown people have a mistake on whites.
Every race has a problem.
It's true, though.
I was not updating hot Hispanics, but they were normal.
michael mendoza
Interracial, yeah.
elijah schaffer
Interracial.
Have you ever seen white guys marry ugly white Asian chicks?
You ever seen that?
That's the thing.
michael mendoza
Well, yeah, and it's, and then the other way around, okay.
So if you're in like the Bay Area in California, all you see is like hot Asian girls with like random software developer white guys.
elijah schaffer
Okay, this is going to be very crass.
My wife is watching the show right now.
She's watching it when she's texting me.
But the thing is, is about this is like as a guy, my point is, is what this, what it did to her, it did nothing to her beauty.
It made her look more sexually available.
unidentified
That's exactly right.
elijah schaffer
And I guess if that's what you're thinking about, is like, because it's kind of like boob jobs.
Like some girls, you know, like it depends, right?
So it's like, it depends.
Like a boob job could do no difference to your attractiveness, depending on how you dress.
But if you get a boob job and start dressing like a slut, maybe it doesn't make you look hotter, but it makes you look more sexually open.
So if what you're looking for is sex, then this girl's going to be hotter.
Because this girl looks like she could be like just an average like city girl who's at you know leading worship at church and looks like a lesbian, this girl.
You know a lot of lesbian looking women in that, yeah.
And then this girl looks like she lived in Miami for six months exactly, you know.
Yeah, she'll get a lot of attention from dudes who just want to bang.
michael mendoza
No, she looks like a sex doll.
unidentified
Yeah, makes her more attractive, a hundred percent agreed.
earl gray
Yeah, maybe she asked the chat which they prefer, one or two.
I think number one just looks like number two without the makeup on.
That's all that it looks like to me.
elijah schaffer
Someone said, good to go okay, uh.
Someone said this is a Simp show.
Imagine where.
michael mendoza
Imagine thinking this is a Simp show, the first time like we've ever talked about like women in a somewhat positive way ever.
elijah schaffer
Someone said, humongous and Elijah is a 10 for Mike.
michael mendoza
That's sweet.
elijah schaffer
Oh, it's evil, it's diabolical.
michael mendoza
I saw a white dude with an Asian and five Mongrels tonight abomination.
Someone says, what's up?
elijah schaffer
Joel Davis, she is the same doctor as Elijah's.
Yeah, i've gotten some, uh plastic surgery done before, it's true.
Someone said, downgrade uh, ninjas will still hit.
We haven't seen a full body shot.
That's what I was gonna say here is, is it actually doesn't matter?
My point is like if she had a rocking body with that face and you saw it from far away, you're gonna hit, especially if you had a few drinks.
But on the flip side uh, i'm just saying like it's really dumb.
So here's what I think, a lot of listening to men talk about women is like like I have a decent car right, I drive a TOY TO Dotson uh, from like 1983.
michael mendoza
That's impressive.
It's two makes in the same car.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I drive a Dotson and it was hit by a trash truck.
No, I do.
I drive a Dotson.
But I'll see people talking about my car on the internet because some reason it picks up what I'm saying.
And I see a lot of people arguing about cars.
Here's a good example.
It's like, oh, like you just have an F80 M5 or something like that.
And it goes, dude, Ferraris are better.
And someone goes, Cool, man, show me your M5.
Like, you know, there's a lot of people that debate cars that are like, dude, this car is better and that car's better.
It's like, well, show me the car.
You're judging my car.
Now show me the car that you've got.
So a lot of guys get like this with women in cars where it's like, dude, that's not even the best way you could have your car.
It's like, and then I like the humble comments.
They're so funny to me.
It's like, bro, you know, the new Ferrari is so ugly.
I really think they could have done away with those doors, which is why I opted with a 1994 Honda Civic.
michael mendoza
It's like the joke.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, like I didn't like the new Ferrari.
So I did a 30-year-old Honda Civic.
But I feel like with girls, it's the same way.
Like, most guys are just lonely.
And if a girl will touch your Willie, then you might feel silly.
But also, moving on the other end of it, a lot of guys, if a girl's just into you and genuine and authentic, a lot of guys will get with girls that they're not, you know, super stoked about or whatever because they're just happy to have a companion and a friend.
Things are getting pretty desperate today, not because guys need sex, but because they just want back a mate or a friend.
And I feel like I meet a lot of guys today who lower their standards on looks in order to end up with someone that they want to be with.
But I say this, it's not the bad side.
That's why I'm not fully against plastic surgery because I think some people could use it, particularly the head of FEMA.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Well, especially, especially Korean girls, it's like kind of like a necessity in South Korea.
Like every girl gets the double eyelid.
I mean, if you're into that type of thing, if you're into Asian girls, it's like every girl gets that double eyelid surgery and they, and it's a night and day difference.
And so common over there.
But then it's funny because then they have kids and then they come out not looking like them because they have these big anime eyes.
So it's more common over there.
It's like a culture thing.
All right.
elijah schaffer
Well, here's the flip side on that.
Again, so she's a man.
michael mendoza
And Koreans are all gay.
elijah schaffer
No, that was a dude.
michael mendoza
Oh, okay.
elijah schaffer
So everyone's gay here.
That was a transgender.
michael mendoza
Well, that was the case before.
So nothing's changed.
elijah schaffer
I'm totally joking.
That wasn't a transgender.
You would believe me for a second there, though.
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
Speaking of that, somebody else with Botox.
So let's talk about Botox.
This is an interesting conversation I think is really funny.
This was a viral video going around for a while.
And there's a lot of people getting onto the grift of health and wellness, right?
You got the health people all about, you know, eating carnivore and all that stuff, right?
And maybe it's true.
I don't really think it's true.
I think it's just that you're eating a high-protein diet that's low in processed food and other things.
So you're essentially eating keto, but also you're just eating protein.
So you're not eating carbs and you're not eating a lot.
And so you're going to lose weight naturally.
It's just a calorie deficit.
It's the only one that makes you lose weight, but you might lose stubborn fat because you're not eating processed food.
Call it a carnivore diet, whatever you want.
It's just the way God made you.
However, a lot of girls that are into health and wellness and are skinny and are fuckable are also really into Botox.
This is a real thing, right?
Healthy girls.
And they're getting it as young.
I was in a lifetime today with, or Earl wasn't there, and there's a big banner.
They just fixed their blue screens of death, by the way, from that cyber attack.
michael mendoza
Oh, did they?
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
But it said, mobile Botox straight to your home.
In-home visits, like over 2,500 people in your area.
And if you know where I live, it makes complete sense why that exists.
Because this area was, they almost called it Botox.
That's honestly what they almost called it.
I have thought that Botox is an interesting topic because they say that it's important for women to get it to stop aging.
Now, you tell me, go full screen here what you think about.
This is the Botox Clinic.
michael mendoza
Nikki, how old are you and how many units of Botox do you have?
elijah schaffer
Wait, wait, wait.
Guess.
How old is she?
Everyone, Mike.
michael mendoza
I'm going to guess 23.
elijah schaffer
Go ahead.
unidentified
34.
earl gray
You see the full screen?
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Bring it up.
We don't see it on the screen.
What, Earl?
unidentified
Uh 30.
elijah schaffer
I would say late 20s because I'm, I mean, these are obviously Botox people.
unidentified
Do I really have to answer home?
michael mendoza
Yeah, I am 41.
earl gray
What did she say?
31.
elijah schaffer
Okay.
michael mendoza
31.
elijah schaffer
It's late 20s, so it's not bad.
Late 20s, early 30s, still.
unidentified
32 units.
Emma, how old are you?
michael mendoza
22.
Too late.
I missed it.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I could believe that.
She just looks like a units of Botox do you have?
unidentified
32.
Jody, how old?
elijah schaffer
All right.
How old is she?
earl gray
Todd, what did you say?
elijah schaffer
Is that the same shirt?
earl gray
No, no.
These are all different things.
elijah schaffer
Do you want to be on camera?
35.
earl gray
I would say 35.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35?
What do you say, Mike?
michael mendoza
Yeah, I'd probably say about what.
Well, just to one up, I'll say 36.
elijah schaffer
White?
michael mendoza
Dude, the price is right.
Exactly.
elijah schaffer
32.
unidentified
How old are you?
55.
earl gray
Oh, oh, what did she say?
55?
michael mendoza
She's wow.
Good for her.
earl gray
She said 55?
michael mendoza
Yeah, right?
earl gray
Wow.
unidentified
55.
elijah schaffer
Okay, so can we say this?
So I'm not trying to prove a point by the segment, by the way.
I'm actually trying to have an open discussion on this.
I'm not here with an agenda.
For this person, clearly they've had work done and it's done well for them.
And we have to give 55.
unidentified
Come on, we were all 20 years off.
elijah schaffer
No, but she looks, yeah, but that could be natural too, right?
Like some people just age.
michael mendoza
Well, I mean, yeah, she works at like a med spa.
I'm pretty sure she's had a little bit of a lot of stuff.
elijah schaffer
I think we've got med spas, like abortion clinics.
We have like big names for this stuff.
michael mendoza
That's what they do it, right?
Or like aesthetician, I guess is the official name for it, right?
elijah schaffer
Okay, check this out.
Check this out.
unidentified
Okay.
And how many units of Botox do you have?
michael mendoza
64.
earl gray
Whoa.
And the eyes, you can tell.
michael mendoza
A lot of upkeep there.
elijah schaffer
So that's crazy.
unidentified
Lauren, how old are you?
michael mendoza
She looks like 27.
Old as dirt.
Yeah, I'll say 44 on this one.
elijah schaffer
No, she's not old.
She was in her mid to late 20s.
michael mendoza
I just can't be the last one.
earl gray
She's 55.
unidentified
24.
elijah schaffer
Mid to late 20s.
There you go.
michael mendoza
That's rough.
earl gray
Wow.
michael mendoza
So we're kind of all over.
elijah schaffer
Do you guys have the chat open so people can tell me what they think?
Because people are guessing the chat.
I don't like that I can't read it on my computer.
michael mendoza
I'll read them off.
I'll read them off the next one.
elijah schaffer
No, yeah, just, I mean, got white.
Earl, are you reading the chat?
You can see what people are saying now?
earl gray
No, I don't know.
michael mendoza
Any hard chat?
elijah schaffer
Okay.
michael mendoza
And how many units of Botox do you have?
I have 104.
unidentified
I have 40.
elijah schaffer
Oh, wow.
Bitch, just kill yourself.
Just don't do that.
Don't kill yourself.
It was a joke.
unidentified
She's going to tell you where it's at.
My master is a 64 on my face.
elijah schaffer
Wow, we couldn't realize your face was fucked up.
earl gray
Wait.
elijah schaffer
Okay, so she's got a young child.
Yeah, what are you saying?
Honestly, 23.
earl gray
No, she's got a kid, and he looks about half black.
unidentified
Doesn't matter.
earl gray
35.
unidentified
24.
Yeah, I would say 35.
michael mendoza
Yeah, I'll say 28.
elijah schaffer
Extra points for kid not being black.
earl gray
Yeah.
Somebody says 84, 32, 28.
elijah schaffer
They're behind us at this point, though.
They're like a couple seconds ago.
michael mendoza
Someone said 14, 88, 80.
I don't think that's even possible.
earl gray
I'm saying late 20s, basically.
michael mendoza
Jess, how old are you?
unidentified
I'm 34.
Okay.
michael mendoza
Okay.
elijah schaffer
She has a youthful look, though.
earl gray
I said 35.
michael mendoza
She has a youthful glow.
She looks like a cartoon.
She looks like a bitch.
elijah schaffer
Imagine having a mom who works at a med spawn thinks she's doing something.
Like, how about just being with his father?
I mean, that's a good.
I'm just saying, you know?
michael mendoza
Yeah.
earl gray
I don't know her story, so I don't.
I'm not trying to judge.
unidentified
I do.
michael mendoza
So Earl doesn't judge.
unidentified
I do.
earl gray
No, I'm not trying to get a job.
Earl is a kid.
I'm not trying to judge.
elijah schaffer
This is what I said about that.
Yeah, Earl's still trying to hit.
unidentified
And how many units of Botox do you have?
I have 34 units.
earl gray
Oh, oh.
Oh, okay.
Wait, let's wait.
elijah schaffer
She looks older than she is for sure because she's just ugly.
earl gray
That looks more like 50 to me.
42.
Tell by the arms that you know it's slimming out a bit.
Oh, yeah, even close to 60.
michael mendoza
The hands and the arms.
unidentified
Yeah, I'll say somebody says 65.
elijah schaffer
42.
michael mendoza
I'll say 48.5 on this one.
elijah schaffer
42.
unidentified
Dr. Coos, how old are you?
michael mendoza
44.
elijah schaffer
Oh, I was close.
I said 42.
What did you say?
michael mendoza
That's been 45.
elijah schaffer
Okay, well, I was under, so I was closer.
michael mendoza
That's close to what I got so far.
But and how many units of Botox do you have?
unidentified
76.
earl gray
She looks like a lot of people.
unidentified
Why do you see that woman who's just ugly and assume she's old because she's ugly?
earl gray
All right.
This guy says 13 and dawn.
elijah schaffer
All right, so you got Michael Jackson here reincarnated.
Here we go.
How old are you?
How old is this?
michael mendoza
Jimona.
elijah schaffer
This woman's in her late 30s to mid-30s.
unidentified
Oh, she's 20.
earl gray
She's 20s.
She's in her 20s.
elijah schaffer
28.
earl gray
20.
I'm going to go with Todd on this one.
elijah schaffer
That haircut is a woman who's in her mid-30s.
That's a weird haircut for a woman in her 20s.
michael mendoza
I'll say 32.
elijah schaffer
33 to 37.
earl gray
25.
michael mendoza
Kayla, how old are you?
unidentified
34.
elijah schaffer
I was right.
The haircut is what you have to look at.
It's like girls that don't, that girls that do that haircut, that's like a woman from my age.
That's my era.
That's from high school.
That's the emo shit.
That is.
They did it on the side with the comb, with the bangs, and they used to have like bangs in front.
I know.
Girls in high school had that, so they're my age.
earl gray
Shit.
elijah schaffer
She's either a senior.
She's in my age bracket.
She would literally have been in school with me.
earl gray
All right.
michael mendoza
And how many units of Botox do you have?
unidentified
I have 28 in my face, and I have 25 in each.
earl gray
Do those lips work though, girl?
elijah schaffer
That's honestly what men are thinking.
Like, but do the lips work, though?
michael mendoza
Wait, she has Botox in her shoulders?
earl gray
Yeah, what does that mean?
elijah schaffer
It means she's a whore everywhere.
michael mendoza
Wow.
elijah schaffer
Anyway.
unidentified
That's her peas muscles to help.
michael mendoza
In her tracks.
earl gray
Oh, she's a little.
michael mendoza
Oh, shit.
earl gray
She's ageless.
unidentified
Dude.
michael mendoza
Dude.
earl gray
She's been around since the dark ages.
unidentified
The dark age of DVD.
elijah schaffer
She is an NPC peasant in some sort of a medieval game.
michael mendoza
Yeah, she's in Skyrim.
earl gray
She crawled out of a swamp.
unidentified
She's the new quest manager of the Assassin's Creed.
michael mendoza
Hello, Traveler.
Hello, Traveler.
elijah schaffer
Take this with you.
michael mendoza
She does look like an average British woman.
earl gray
You have to go to a swamp to talk to her.
elijah schaffer
She has a gravity astronomist study the gravity field around her forehead.
earl gray
Dude, that forehead is insane.
elijah schaffer
Things levitate there.
michael mendoza
Yeah, she got some freaking dome on her.
elijah schaffer
What are we?
She's in her 20s for sure.
Because she's just ugly.
earl gray
She works at HR.
I would say.
elijah schaffer
She got me fired from Blaze.
earl gray
Nah, it's going to be early 30s.
unidentified
Look at that hair.
That's what that looks.
elijah schaffer
That looks like an HR manager, right?
earl gray
But I don't know how the heck that's going to be.
elijah schaffer
Oh, somebody got you fired.
She's not like somebody getting fired.
Like someone says, you're fired.
There's a mega person.
michael mendoza
Yeah, I'll say 64, but I'm just talking about the circumference of her forehead.
elijah schaffer
That's a person.
No, that's an HR manager who walks and says, Excuse me, Michael, can you please come into my office?
unidentified
Right?
elijah schaffer
They talk like this.
Michael, could you please come into my office?
Go to us on the screen here.
If Mike is short for Michael, what is Bike short for?
earl gray
Bikel.
michael mendoza
Bikel.
unidentified
Yeah.
michael mendoza
Obviously.
Come on.
elijah schaffer
Do you ride a bike?
I do.
No, but I was going to say, like, that is a woman.
I've been fired by her several times in my life, right?
We just don't have any room left.
unidentified
I've crashed her head.
earl gray
How about that?
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
Let's see.
michael mendoza
Imagine the head buttons.
earl gray
But at the beginning, what it was that she was saying?
32 in bees.
They're saying stuff about her head.
michael mendoza
Someone said, just stick your face in a beehive.
It's cheaper.
elijah schaffer
All right, here we go.
unidentified
That's what me getting.
Stephanie, how old are you?
23.
Oh, I told you.
earl gray
What did she say?
elijah schaffer
23.
Switch between us and this.
earl gray
I said 30.
elijah schaffer
No, I honestly.
earl gray
That's crazy.
elijah schaffer
23.
But here's the thing is I said that in her 20s because I know what this is.
She works for Turning Point.
unidentified
So I've seen these girls.
elijah schaffer
I worked around them, man.
I worked around them.
You know, I put them on my shows and different things.
And it's like, they're like fours and threes, and people get into them, you know, because they, because in politics, you can girls get into politics because they're too ugly for Hollywood.
And they get on.
That's why they complain to HR and shit.
I've dealt with this my entire life.
She's that young, and she was very, very ugly.
She was molested.
unidentified
In a fire, in a fire.
elijah schaffer
They put her face out.
Unfortunately, she was lit on fire as a child.
I put her face out with an axe.
michael mendoza
She needed to get photographed.
Someone said that there is no smoke shows at this clinic.
Do we agree with that?
I think that there were one or two.
unidentified
No, I don't know.
michael mendoza
I thought there was one or two.
I think all the smokes are.
elijah schaffer
Wait, I bet you've gone to their Instagrams.
They would all look like smoke shows.
Except for the stroke.
earl gray
We're getting some real life.
elijah schaffer
No, I know.
Yeah, we're getting real life.
Real girls do not look like girls on Instagram.
So, like, if you see, would you agree, Mr. White?
Royal girls look very different.
Yeah.
Okay.
unidentified
And how many units of Botox?
Yeah.
60.
60.
earl gray
Christian Howard.
She's got to be older.
elijah schaffer
33.
34.
She had a stroke, too.
earl gray
Watch out for the chat.
michael mendoza
Also, the hair.
Just like how we talked about earlier.
Yeah, probably 34, I'd say.
unidentified
37.
earl gray
I would say 40s.
elijah schaffer
She's not a natural blonde.
Her hair is too thin.
Maybe 40s.
Blondes have thicker hair.
earl gray
Her arms are.
elijah schaffer
You can always tell they're fake.
earl gray
Seems like an older person.
unidentified
I'm 49.
tim kennedy
Oh, got it.
unidentified
All right.
And how many units of Botox do you have?
I have 56.
elijah schaffer
But you know what?
She looks great for a 41-year-old girl.
Honestly.
michael mendoza
Yeah, she's not bad.
earl gray
Everyone's saying 40 in the chat.
elijah schaffer
And her nose is not done yet.
You can tell because it dips down here.
She's still got a real.
It's like one of the only girls with a real nose.
No, that's not a real nose.
unidentified
I'm sorry.
elijah schaffer
It dips in the bottom.
That's pretty real.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
earl gray
It's pinched.
elijah schaffer
No, it is.
earl gray
It's pinched.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, but girls have thin nose and her.
A girl would not get her nose done and not brought up.
It would be brought up.
It's more pointy.
No, it's not done.
Okay.
She is the most normal-looking woman.
michael mendoza
21.
earl gray
That's the HR manager right there.
elijah schaffer
Where are we at?
Bring us on screen here.
What are we at?
Where are we?
She actually probably owns the clinic.
And she's like, I fucking sell shit to these.
These women are my colleagues.
earl gray
I need to see it.
elijah schaffer
Full screen.
michael mendoza
All right.
elijah schaffer
I would say this.
earl gray
She could be late 30s.
elijah schaffer
Early 40s.
earl gray
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Early 40s.
earl gray
I'm going to go late 30s.
elijah schaffer
Can I say this real fast?
Here's the deal.
So this is actually a very personal statement, but like click out.
If I, like, let's say my wife died, any guy watching this, and I had to remarried in my 40s or something.
I'm a 31 now or something like that to raise my kids or something.
I would much more be looking for a woman like this who looked like a normal, wholesome woman than like a girl who looked like she had Botox and nose jobs because those women are soulless.
And that's the problem with women with too much.
You can kind of tell how much personality they have by how much work they have done.
That's why I said it's hard because to me, this is the personal preference.
And I have a friend from Australia who was here who really loves the fucking cut up, botched look.
But here's the deal.
Not you, no.
But a friend.
earl gray
I know your friend.
elijah schaffer
That loves the cut up bonus.
michael mendoza
She loves Mr. Wayne.
elijah schaffer
Is that guys like it because it makes the girl seem sexually available, makes them seem easier.
So it makes you think you're going to get action and you can get aroused or fucking turned on.
But when you're talking about like you live in the real world, you know that girls that typically look like they'll just simply are sex objects or turn you on typically make bad partners, typically make bad lovers.
Oh, wow, it's so big.
Can I hold it?
That's like how they are.
They're not involved.
You want normal looking people because those kind of girls are looking for one thing.
They're looking for money, provision, but not relationship or not like dynamic.
So you're not going to find a good mom for your kid, right?
I'm just saying, like, I and like, so when you look for a more normal-looking girl, this girl to me is what I would consider to be a more again, I'm going to get thrown off now.
If she is in her early 30s, I take everything back.
But if she's in her early 40s, if she's in her early 40s and up, that's what a beautiful woman should look like when she's like in her 40s and stuff.
Like normal person.
earl gray
Aging, Grace.
michael mendoza
Well, this is correct.
elijah schaffer
I just feel like that's what you would look for if you were looking to remarry.
earl gray
Chat is mostly saying 50 to 60 for this lady.
50 to 60, that's what they're mostly saying.
michael mendoza
This would be your choice.
Death Beholding in the chat says, I also choose Elijah's dead wife.
So that's just their personal preference.
There's some necrophilics in the chat.
Shout out.
elijah schaffer
I meant like you would go for someone that looks like a normal human being.
This woman.
unidentified
Okay.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
I'm going to say 60.
earl gray
See where she's at.
unidentified
60?
michael mendoza
Yeah, 60.
unidentified
Yeah.
Most people say 55.
earl gray
Oh, they were right.
They were right.
michael mendoza
Dude, the shirt.
earl gray
Yeah.
michael mendoza
If you've ever been to the villages before, you see those shirts all the time.
elijah schaffer
Hey, I'm just getting older, so everyone looks hot to me now.
michael mendoza
Let's go.
elijah schaffer
Hey, she's hot for a 55-year-old.
I'm going to say that.
michael mendoza
Yeah, not bad.
elijah schaffer
I'm going to say that, honestly.
She is.
michael mendoza
She would clean up in the villages.
earl gray
She didn't get crazy work.
unidentified
So, maybe I respect a woman like that more.
elijah schaffer
And by the way, this is the key thing.
Look at your wife, future wife's mom.
Make sure she's not a fat, ugly pig.
Because honestly, this is crazy.
Two guys I know who married very hot girls and their mothers were fucking whales.
Just like beach horns, you know, alert, alert.
And they told me, no, no, no.
And I go, no, you got to look.
I go, I don't want to.
They use this excuse.
I don't want to look at the mom.
I'm not trying to sexualize her.
I go, yeah, no one is.
So thank you.
No one's sexualizing that woman.
But anyway, their moms are disgustingly fat.
The best indicator of how your wife will age is directly correlative to how their mom looks.
unidentified
True.
elijah schaffer
And they might look different because it's two different genetics.
It's the dad and stuff.
They might be completely different.
They go, my wife looks, this happens to me.
My wife looks way different than her mom.
I go, no, no.
Genetics, like metabolism, personality.
These things, you know, accumulate weight after having children.
And two of two, their wives just got fucking disgusting.
And honestly, I think about men who are married to fat chicks and obese.
How are you doing, men in the chat?
I don't want to say anything to be rude, but to me, it's that way, man.
No, no, no.
They must hate themselves.
Like, you're not turned on by your wife.
Like, don't lie to yourself.
Like, I don't know.
You're loyal because you're being a good guy and you're trying to be nice, but like, that sucks, man.
As a woman, don't get fat.
It's like, that should be illegal.
Like, for a woman to get fat.
Like, that's not true.
michael mendoza
You're going to get airworn for that one.
elijah schaffer
Not after pregnancy.
I'm not talking about normal weight.
Like, let's say her parents die and she's depressed and gains 20 pounds.
Okay, fine, whatever.
That just happens in life.
And then she loses it a year later or two years later because she's depressed, whatever.
Or she has kids and the pregnancy weight is on and she goes through that six, eight-year period with new kid, new kid, new kid, and has a hard time getting fit.
Fine, whatever.
But fat, fat.
We're like, you know, we're talking about like your legs have orbits around them.
earl gray
Fat girls are hot.
unidentified
Beast.
What are these fat girls?
michael mendoza
Also, too, just compare her.
earl gray
I like fat girls.
I don't know.
michael mendoza
Compare her to the other 55-year-old.
It's kind of a.
earl gray
I had a friend that said always look at their shoe size.
And the smaller the shoe size, the better.
I'm not going to get into that.
michael mendoza
Did he make frequent visits to Thailand?
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
michael mendoza
That's what I was saying.
They make frequent visits to Thailand.
earl gray
No, I don't want to get into it, but look at the shoe size and the small, the better.
That's basically the shoe size.
michael mendoza
Never lies.
elijah schaffer
They say Cave Exploring is the Natty Putty Cave is the tightest cave in the world unless her shoe size is lower than a five.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
That's the first thing I do as I get down there and screen.
And I go, hello, hello, hello, and see how many echoes I get back.
earl gray
I don't want to be.
Don't bind your foot, but the shoes are if you have like a really long foot, then it can indicate something else.
elijah schaffer
Like, yeah, someone said fat girls are fat.
How's your IQ, VGV 22?
Very interesting.
All right, no fat chicks ever.
I'm gonna watch another video here.
So, speaking of Botox, though, my last opinion is this on a Botox woman here.
There is a woman who took Botox too far.
And guess her age, ready?
unidentified
I wanna go mid 50s.
earl gray
She looks good, though.
Mid-50s.
elijah schaffer
Late 50s.
I think this.
There are still men who hit that, though.
michael mendoza
Yeah, I mean, like, just put your hand over that over the face.
earl gray
It's like the soul moss.
elijah schaffer
It's called a butterface, right?
Everything but her face.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
This is why we can't be a red pill podcast because we're too autistic to be actually get honest.
Not like, let her suck your dick, boy.
She could cheat on her.
unidentified
You don't know.
elijah schaffer
We're like, you know, put a bag on her head and it would work.
michael mendoza
I'd be interested to see how many units of Botox she got because it's probably in the thousands.
elijah schaffer
It has two decimals more than what we were looking at.
earl gray
You know what I'm saying?
michael mendoza
Yeah.
earl gray
She got a huge head now.
unidentified
It's crazy.
elijah schaffer
Jeez, take that off the screen.
michael mendoza
I want to see that one.
earl gray
That's freaking, man.
elijah schaffer
So, continuing on this topic.
What?
No, we don't do that.
That was totally a joke.
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
Here's a big debate.
This is also from Royce as well.
So there was this actress.
We're going to bring this up here.
michael mendoza
All right.
elijah schaffer
Let's talk about this.
So she's like a, I think she's really pretty.
I think girls look like that are nice looking.
Not, but I'm saying like she looks like a nice, pretty girl.
And I'm only, this is in the context, by the way, before I get the comment, I was like, you're married.
No, this is in the context of we're rating these people in terms of their work done.
So I'm saying she looks like a pretty girl.
She looks innocent.
Obviously, because she's a celebrity, people are going to say she's sexy and hot, but she's pretty.
And girls should just seek to be pretty, not be like, you know, sex objects.
Like, this seems like a girl who was not ruined by Hollywood, who has not molested anyone yet or been molested, maybe yet, or is still hiding it.
Yes?
michael mendoza
Yes.
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
You guys are over this segment?
All right, fine.
unidentified
No, no, no.
elijah schaffer
I didn't ride it.
unidentified
She got work done and it looks bad.
All right.
elijah schaffer
So she does look huge.
Mr. White?
michael mendoza
Oh, rating?
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
michael mendoza
Mr. White?
unidentified
Eight.
michael mendoza
Okay.
unidentified
Eight.
michael mendoza
Okay.
elijah schaffer
So we're going for a two to an eight.
michael mendoza
Earl.
earl gray
She's pretty cute.
She's a nice girl.
I'm going to say that.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would say lower than my wife.
michael mendoza
Wait, did we get a number from you, Earl?
What was your number?
earl gray
I don't know.
Six, seven.
michael mendoza
Really?
elijah schaffer
She's a good lower than my wife.
michael mendoza
Really?
So that other girl was a five, and then this girl's just one spot higher.
earl gray
I didn't say she was a five.
I didn't get it.
elijah schaffer
He's from actually a white part of the world where they have white people.
michael mendoza
Well, they have lower standards.
Got it.
elijah schaffer
No, they have white people to compare themselves to.
So they actually have hot white people.
They don't go, they actually have real white people.
michael mendoza
I mean, well, are you talking about me?
Unfortunately, I've seen the same writing.
Well, I have the same rating as him, which is like an eight.
So, you know, but then she ruined it.
earl gray
She's starved.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, we've all been starved.
earl gray
You're really a nice looking girl, though.
Like, we're not going to lie about that, I guess.
elijah schaffer
I would say this.
I don't really have a rating.
Like, I feel like I'm actually after a six, it's like a, doesn't matter to me.
Like, it's like a personality matters because it's like, yes, would a one-night stand be nice with like a 10, I'm sure, but even maybe not.
But also, like, a lot of times, these people will ruin your life.
At a certain point, they'll ruin your life.
So, if you want a girl that's not like crazy, once a girl's to me, once a girl's an eight or above, their sexuality is their entire personality.
That's my opinion.
Like, they're soulless.
So, I wouldn't put her at an eight because I put her at like a six and a half, seven.
Not because of her face, but because she seems like a sweet girl.
michael mendoza
I'm gonna get merch for the show.
Every girl is a six or a seven.
Just that's uh oh my gosh.
earl gray
Oh, okay.
So this is the next one.
elijah schaffer
That's her work she had done.
earl gray
What do we think?
elijah schaffer
That's her?
earl gray
Yeah.
michael mendoza
Yeah, it's hard to even tell.
unidentified
Like two or three years later, I guess.
michael mendoza
It's like her face was sculpted.
Like it's just like it just looks so unnatural.
elijah schaffer
She looks like Squidward.
michael mendoza
Yeah, handsome Squidward.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm going to bring that up.
elijah schaffer
Take it off the screen.
unidentified
Okay.
elijah schaffer
By the way, just so you note, I have a stream deck.
I need to get a little stream deck here that just gets me off this, like, goes back to this.
michael mendoza
So that's like a one big button that you smack.
Yeah.
No, but like, a big red button.
elijah schaffer
No, no, so I don't have to say things like that.
Or like, just with, like, I have one that's six buttons, but I just have like my shot, the screen and stuff.
So I can, like, just quickly like.
michael mendoza
I opt for the big red button that you just like.
unidentified
Show me how big that's a little bit.
michael mendoza
Like cartoon.
This thing is freaking wait with my camera.
I can't even.
It's falling apart.
unidentified
Like America.
michael mendoza
It's like it's like 20 freaking things.
Actually, that's like 24, right?
elijah schaffer
No, it has three screens worth.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
earl gray
Somebody was saying that it looks similar to Blair White.
michael mendoza
Yeah, she does.
Yeah, exactly.
elijah schaffer
Well, it is a bit of a transgender look, right?
And that is, that is, it looks like a guy.
Yeah, this is a man.
Honestly, my opinion is this looks like a transsexual.
michael mendoza
That's right.
elijah schaffer
Go to the screen.
There you go.
He's got it.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
michael mendoza
Mr. White's getting in there with the air horns now.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, it looks like a man trying to look like a woman.
Not a fan.
All right, let me look at the chat.
Take this all the screen.
michael mendoza
Take it off.
elijah schaffer
Okay.
Chat here.
Elijah looks nothing like his dad.
Thank you.
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
I don't know what that means.
Elijah checking out his stepmom.
It's not a stepmom.
You don't even know how family...
It's your mother-in-law, not your stepmom.
What the hell?
You guys don't even know what that even is.
Someone Elijah be Ion Kez's mom.
No, someone said Elijah has a granny grinder.
Ew.
unidentified
All right.
elijah schaffer
This is disgusting.
E is aroused.
No.
What the hell?
No.
My point is, I actually, that's an important thing.
I just won't, I would never marry a girl whose mom was fat and disgusting and didn't take care of herself.
Like, obviously, you don't look at a girl's mom and say, am I attracted or you go, is this someone who is, I'm repulsed by?
And if you see a person, regardless, and you're repulsed by them and they happen to be your wife's mother, don't marry the girl.
Period.
Because they're going to get fat and ugly after they have kids, period.
Just will have it.
I promise you that.
It'll happen.
All right.
michael mendoza
Someone said, I grew up in Scottsdale, Arizona.
I've been spoiled.
Have you ever been to Scottsdale before?
elijah schaffer
It's really nice.
michael mendoza
It's like nothing but MILFs over there, I remember.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, it's kind of like where we live here.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Kind of except everyone's Jewish.
elijah schaffer
Well, no.
So everyone in Scottsdale.
michael mendoza
Bigdale's Jewish area.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, Scottsdale's Jewish.
He even agreed to me.
Scottsdale's a Jewish area.
michael mendoza
I was there before I was woke on the whole Democrat question.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, well, they're very Democrats.
michael mendoza
So way before then.
unidentified
People are saying thumbs.
michael mendoza
Megan Fox's thumbs?
unidentified
Yeah, they're trying to.
elijah schaffer
Let's talk about asses.
Okay.
This is viewer discretion advised going forward.
But let me ask you guys in the chat.
One's in the chat if you're a boob guy.
Two's in the chat if you're a butt guy.
One's in the chat.
Todd, what are you?
Boob or butt or both?
Or threes if you're both.
Like, you're like a good balance.
So you're a three guy?
unidentified
No, I like a real chest.
elijah schaffer
A big butt.
earl gray
Big ass.
elijah schaffer
So you're a two guy.
michael mendoza
Mike?
I'm Hispanic.
What do you think?
elijah schaffer
Ass guy?
michael mendoza
Yeah, of course.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
It's easy.
Go ahead.
michael mendoza
Mr. White?
Probably.
unidentified
But, but disproportionate.
michael mendoza
Let's go.
elijah schaffer
I'm a boob guy.
michael mendoza
Butt men rise up.
elijah schaffer
I'm a boob.
Okay, obviously, every guy's, it's like being like, are you a vagina guy?
Or like, it's like everyone likes what they like, but I meant like, particularly, like, you could see a girl with a small butt, but she has nice tits.
It's like, yes.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Go ahead.
earl gray
50-50.
unidentified
Oh.
michael mendoza
One or the other.
Come on.
earl gray
One or the other.
I don't want to say ass.
I would say ass.
michael mendoza
You're outnumbered here, buddy.
earl gray
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I'm correct, though.
earl gray
I'm sorry.
elijah schaffer
You guys have all been jewed by porn.
michael mendoza
Isn't it?
elijah schaffer
Even the Jews have been jewed.
michael mendoza
Doesn't porn really stress boobs though?
I mean, for a long time.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, it was.
I think just recently it was proven that ass is a minority thing.
michael mendoza
Whites like white people in here, except for the Democrat we have in the room.
But there's a bunch of white people in here besides.
elijah schaffer
Dude, here's the deal, though.
That being said, here's a BBL.
So this is a butt lift.
Check this out.
unidentified
She looks so nice.
Look at that.
Look at this small waist.
Very, very small waist.
michael mendoza
Okay, you know what?
I changed my answer, actually.
By the way, I hope it's blurred enough.
I hope that rumble is not going to like this in the dock.
elijah schaffer
Who wrote the dog?
michael mendoza
Mr. White?
earl gray
Wizard Todd.
unidentified
Who created this dog?
michael mendoza
I don't even want to bring that on the screen for too long because I'm a little worried about that.
earl gray
Yeah, but it's frightening.
elijah schaffer
I'm just like.
michael mendoza
I'll do it real quick.
Okay.
All right.
Don't want to get in trouble.
elijah schaffer
You know, this is what happens.
So I don't know what to think about.
earl gray
So that's the BBL transplant, basically.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, that's a butt transplant.
unidentified
That's great.
michael mendoza
Well, there's another term for it that someone had in the chat.
It's sloppy diarrhea ass is the other term for it.
unidentified
How do they wipe?
earl gray
It's huge.
elijah schaffer
How do they wipe?
That's a real question.
How do people wipe?
michael mendoza
Back to front, probably.
Yeah.
They just like they just like reach under like this and then they go back to front.
They pull it forward.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, well, well, okay.
earl gray
Well, I think this is a floor enough to just see how big it, how big it got.
elijah schaffer
Someone said she would stab you at the BLM protest.
unidentified
You got to hose her down after it.
elijah schaffer
I think we lost like 100 viewers.
Someone's watching with their wife.
You're like, I got to take it off the screen immediately.
Someone said a car wash.
michael mendoza
Probably get those comments from the debate the other night where they're like, this is the last time I ever watched this show.
So I'm probably going to get it.
elijah schaffer
That's crazy.
michael mendoza
Bidet, yeah, definitely a bidet.
elijah schaffer
Okay, we'll see some extreme, some extreme profiling here.
How about a eyelash transplant?
Have you heard about these?
michael mendoza
Check this out.
earl gray
So this is a red.
michael mendoza
Oh, God.
earl gray
Yeah, this is a red surgery.
It's like plastic surgery.
elijah schaffer
Is she a nun or something?
michael mendoza
I don't know.
earl gray
I guess she got a forehead done as well.
michael mendoza
Did she get her eyebrows implanted too?
Because those things are like caterpillars.
They're thick.
earl gray
That's crazy.
Yeah, maybe she got a bunch of stuff done.
michael mendoza
I don't know.
elijah schaffer
You know what I find to be weird?
So I've had plastic surgery before.
michael mendoza
Okay.
Elaborate.
elijah schaffer
I had my entire neck reattached.
It literally fell off.
It's not a joke.
michael mendoza
I hate when that happens.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, well, I was beat up by black people.
michael mendoza
I hate when that happens too, actually.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, so I had necrotic flesh, but I had it reattached here.
And I've had also too, like here, I grew up with a giant mole like right here.
They removed it so I could shave growing up when I was like seven, eight.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
It's still a scar tissue, but like I never found that's like two.
That's all like technically like pop like plastic surgery, but I find it be kind of strange because, you know, like you can do things.
I think the most I'd ever do is if my hair started falling out like drastically and I needed like a hair transplant, I would do that in Turkey.
I would do that like Joe Biden did or fresh and fit different people.
Like I would do that kind of stuff, but I don't think I would do anything other than a hair transplant.
I would do for my own hair like that cosmetically.
But like, I'm not going to go in even now and like go get a hair transplant because I have a big forehead or like I'm not going to go sculpt my jaw.
Like, honestly, if you're a guy and you just, you know, got your, like, like, I have lived demon stuff, but like, if I was just disciplined and didn't make excuses and like stopped eating processed sugar and stuff, the condition would go away.
And everyone in the world is like, is like, oh, well, you know, I could have a miracle fixed.
It's like, well, you could fix it too by just being disciplined.
And everyone's like, but I don't want to be disciplined.
And so my opinion is it's like, look, I could be 10 times better looking to like not better looking, sorry, better feeling, but like 10 times in better shape, like overall, right?
Not like better looking.
Like that's genetics.
But like I could like be premiere of what I could be by just being disciplined.
Have you ever seen a good hair transplant?
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Like where it looks really good.
I know a lot of people do good ones.
Yeah.
michael mendoza
We should pull up some in Turkey they go hard.
In Turkey they're doing it.
elijah schaffer
I have a lot of family members, people that have gotten that, you can't tell.
You're talking about hair plugs from in the 80s or something like, nah, dude, they're like, they're like 20 grand and they look like you've paid 20 grand.
No, they do a good job because what they do is, is the key thing is they don't try to make it look like you are not thing hair.
Like, they, they, no, I'm saying they, no, but they like, so like, for instance, if mine went back, they're not going to go put my hairline down here.
They're going to put it back to where it is.
unidentified
That'd be awesome if they did put it like way down.
earl gray
They're not going to be really low headline.
elijah schaffer
But they're not, you know, it's not really a big noise.
michael mendoza
They have a one head instead of a forehead.
elijah schaffer
But they're not going to put it down here and then make it thick.
They're going to just put it like a little bit where it's at and then just fill in.
earl gray
Like I said, and where it comes back here, basically.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
elijah schaffer
So like I have a forehead.
I have a big forehead.
earl gray
What am I saying?
Devil's dog's peak.
michael mendoza
Widow peak.
earl gray
Yeah, I have a big forehead.
Whatever's cutting down.
elijah schaffer
Whatever.
But like, but they don't.
So like in like 10 years of my hair thinned out, they would put it back to this, not change the shape.
That's what they did before.
They would change the shape of your head.
And now they're like about like just making it look like you're like 30, not like you're 12.
Like, so like the whole point of hair transpose to make it look like you're like kind of like aging and kind of thin.
And I think that's how it works.
It's like a woman getting a tit job going up one or two sizes from like a B to a D, but not from like an A to an F, you know?
You can see when it's like an A to an F, then you have like round, you can see the bags, you know?
You can see them.
michael mendoza
Oh, yeah.
No, I saw like a, I saw like a woman who was probably in like her late 60s and she just had like perfectly symmetrical tits.
Like it was just like a perfect scarf.
elijah schaffer
It's very gross.
michael mendoza
It's weird.
It's just like doesn't look natural at all.
unidentified
What was that?
michael mendoza
What would you say?
unidentified
Go in through the armpits.
earl gray
Yeah.
michael mendoza
For what?
unidentified
For the scar.
michael mendoza
Oh, for breast implants.
Oh, interesting.
Okay.
elijah schaffer
And then they put it in the armor fluid or what?
unidentified
Oh, they just stuff it in through the armpit and there's no scar underneath.
michael mendoza
Oh, interesting.
unidentified
Tell a girl, say, dance for me, girl, dance for me when you're out.
earl gray
So check their armpits.
That's what Todd's saying.
michael mendoza
All the silicone comes out.
elijah schaffer
Do you shave your armpit hair?
michael mendoza
Do I?
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
michael mendoza
No.
elijah schaffer
Okay.
I heard the rumor on the street.
michael mendoza
Oh, well, no.
All right, just checking.
No, that's my rectal area.
earl gray
Hair transparency is very different from eyelash transparents, which we were looking at, which just seems wild.
elijah schaffer
Someone told me I seem like a guy who bleaches my asshole.
What does that even mean?
michael mendoza
Gay.
unidentified
Oh.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
Gay dudes.
earl gray
Gay guys do it.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I don't know what that meant.
I was like, what does that even mean?
Have you ever seen your asshole?
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
So I read a meme that said this.
It said, wait, things that seem gay aren't.
michael mendoza
By the way, Tom.
elijah schaffer
Seeing your own butthole in the mirror.
unidentified
I read that.
elijah schaffer
I was like, it says things that seem gay but aren't.
Seeing your own butthole.
That's a true thing.
When you see your own butthole, you go, is this wrong?
michael mendoza
Have you seen your butthole, Mr. White?
elijah schaffer
I've seen mine.
unidentified
I have seen it.
michael mendoza
Yeah, I've seen it.
elijah schaffer
Everybody's seen their butthole.
Don't even, everyone's in their butthole.
My point is that when you see your butt, you go, I don't know if I should be looking at this.
You know what I mean?
Like, you ever feel that?
You go, is this okay?
michael mendoza
The forbidden fruit, if you will.
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
I'm like, I don't feel like I was not thinking the forbidden fruit.
Holy shit.
michael mendoza
Holy shit, all right.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
michael mendoza
Hole of shit.
elijah schaffer
Jeez.
earl gray
Who's that black scientist that keeps kissing himself?
Oh, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
michael mendoza
Yeah, yeah, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
earl gray
Oh, yeah.
michael mendoza
He always makes that tweet where he's just like.
earl gray
Yeah, he keeps posting this tweet where he's like, if you kiss yourself in the mirror, it's like, I don't know.
I don't know what he tweeted, but it's like you're kissing yourself a thousand times.
michael mendoza
I forgot.
But yeah, yeah, yeah.
earl gray
It's always about him kissing himself.
michael mendoza
He's made that tweet like a dozen times.
elijah schaffer
Earl Gay stash is right.
unidentified
Yo.
earl gray
Hey, fuck.
michael mendoza
Big shout out.
elijah schaffer
Someone said I trim my armpit.
I don't have a lot.
Someone said they trim the armpit here.
I don't have like a lot, though.
Like, I just like have like normal.
michael mendoza
See, like, I have like I have about that too.
Like, yeah.
elijah schaffer
Normal.
I don't have like a ton of artists.
earl gray
Who trims it, though?
elijah schaffer
If you had a lot, then I'm sure it's coarse.
I don't have coarse hair.
My hair is too small.
earl gray
You a Mediterranean or something.
elijah schaffer
Well, no, my hair is soft.
Like, I have soft hair.
I don't have hard hair.
So I don't know what the point of that is.
michael mendoza
Could you imagine how itchy it would be if you shaved your armpit and then like once it came back after like a week or two, it would just be unbearable.
earl gray
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Someone said if you follow your butthole with your eyes, it tracks you.
That's crazy.
unidentified
Okay.
earl gray
All right.
elijah schaffer
We're going to leave that in the past.
michael mendoza
You have to be very flexible to do that.
elijah schaffer
A couple things here I want to play here.
earl gray
Let's see that.
elijah schaffer
Let me play this real quick.
michael mendoza
Someone said that's not this is a widow speak.
Someone said that's not a widow speak.
This is a widow speak.
earl gray
Well, what's the tunas that's going to be?
So speaking of BBLs up here is where you're going to be.
unidentified
Speaking of BBLs.
michael mendoza
Yeah, I think he might know.
Oh, God.
I don't know what.
I can't see the screen from here, but what do we got here?
unidentified
Full screen.
michael mendoza
I love the Knight Rider music.
elijah schaffer
Appropriate One thing I find very odd about this is how does that even happen?
michael mendoza
Yeah, it seems like the weight is distributing itself in a very odd way.
elijah schaffer
You know, black women.
That's it.
That's why I'm black women.
michael mendoza
Yeah, black women.
elijah schaffer
Nothing else.
Black woman.
michael mendoza
And that's a show.
earl gray
Well, she doesn't know.
We argue towards the end.
elijah schaffer
We argued towards the end, Tom.
michael mendoza
Black women.
earl gray
You can take that off.
elijah schaffer
I have two more things to show people.
earl gray
But I like to see that.
elijah schaffer
They said it's super fupa.
michael mendoza
Super fupa.
elijah schaffer
Let me go to this real fast.
unidentified
Hold up.
elijah schaffer
So, by the way, this is Kamala Harris's stepdaughter who lives at her house.
This is her stepdaughter.
Watch this.
unidentified
Oh, my God.
Are you Ella Mha?
Yeah.
What song are you listening to right now?
Well, I'm wearing a Torrey Birch top, a Torrey Birch skirt, Torrey Birch Hill loafers, and obviously the Tori Birch cure bag.
Thanks.
Have a good one.
Wait, what?
elijah schaffer
Next clip here.
earl gray
What?
Who is she?
I didn't.
michael mendoza
Oh, that's Kamala Harris's.
elijah schaffer
Kamala Harris's stepdaughter is her Jewish husband's daughter.
She's a Democrat.
earl gray
She's a Democrat.
elijah schaffer
She's a Democrat husband's daughter.
michael mendoza
It passes down through the bloodline.
unidentified
You know that?
michael mendoza
You know that?
earl gray
Through the mother, they've been the dicks.
michael mendoza
It's matrilineal.
elijah schaffer
Finish that democracy all the time.
earl gray
Oh, she looks good.
She looks really good.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, she looks like a bitch that would fuck up my order at Starbucks.
You know, Barack Obama posted this happy anniversary, Michelle Obama, 32 years together.
Couldn't have asked for a better partner and friend to go through life with.
It went pretty viral.
This post.
The person said, you know, she getting that thing sucked.
michael mendoza
Wait, there was one more tweet as you got to pull up on this one, too.
unidentified
Take that off.
michael mendoza
I'll let you pull it up.
Take it off.
Because it was really good.
elijah schaffer
Wait, wait, wait.
Where was it?
michael mendoza
Maybe I didn't put it on there.
Oh, no, it's in the DM thread.
unidentified
Someone said, she getting that thing brought quad.
michael mendoza
Oh, man.
You snort?
Is that you?
elijah schaffer
It was cocaine.
michael mendoza
Oh, it was.
unidentified
All right.
michael mendoza
Back off.
I was about to call him Dave Smith, but it's Dave White.
David White, Mr. David White.
elijah schaffer
Also, on the end of things here, this is pretty crazy.
I'll end on this story, actually.
It's pretty remarkable.
New York Post reported that go full screen there.
I've had sex with 480 people this year, but I'm very picky.
I make men fill out an application form.
This top story coming from the New York Elab.
michael mendoza
Sounds like it's like getting a job at Walmart then because they have to accept anyone.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, so I had sex with 480 people this year, but I'm very picky.
I make men fill out a form.
So this is her.
We don't want to sport.
earl gray
So that's more than one a day.
elijah schaffer
Check that out.
michael mendoza
Well, there's 500 days in a year, so no.
elijah schaffer
She's hot, though.
michael mendoza
Yeah.
No, she's not bad.
elijah schaffer
She's got a weird head, but you know, there's those alien girls always have boyfriends, you know?
Why does the girls with alien foreheads have the biggest slots?
michael mendoza
How does she even have time to do this photo shoot when she's getting railed 1.0346 times a day?
earl gray
Yeah.
michael mendoza
I'm sure I got probably a real 20s.
elijah schaffer
Mr. White, can you read that, please?
unidentified
Content creator dubbed Australia's most sexually active woman is on a mission to sleep with 600 people in 2024, but she isn't letting just anyone into her bedroom.
Annie Knight first made headlines last year after declaring that she wanted to have sex with 300 people in 2023.
After achieving that goal, the Amorous Aussie upped the ante in 2024, setting her sights on sleeping with 600 people before December 31st, but the ambitious new number hasn't led to a drop in her standards.
I'm very picky, the 26-year-old OnlyFans insisted in a new interview with Need to Know.
I have an application system.
Knight says she's already had sex with 480 people this year, meaning that she still has 120 lovers to bed before New Year's Eve.
That's crazy.
earl gray
But she has a few more months to get that in.
michael mendoza
Yes.
earl gray
120.
elijah schaffer
So that's more than two a day sometimes.
unidentified
Three a day.
earl gray
You know what it is?
elijah schaffer
She's doing orgies some night and having like 12 guys bang her in one night.
michael mendoza
That's what's happening.
elijah schaffer
She's not having sex every day.
She's doing a lot of orgies.
Yeah, yeah.
earl gray
She had it all in one day.
unidentified
Towards the end of the year, she'll lower her standards.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I agree.
earl gray
I appreciate those numbers.
elijah schaffer
All right, wrapping up.
Do you have any super chat, sir?
michael mendoza
I do not think that anything else has rolled in.
No, there's nothing else.
Okay, okay, okay.
elijah schaffer
There is.
earl gray
Send her to India.
elijah schaffer
Shout out.
Give me a second.
I have something here.
michael mendoza
Oh, on locals.
elijah schaffer
No, did you read the one that said she is a walking sexual assault case?
michael mendoza
Oh, the one from 45 minutes ago?
No, I didn't read that one.
elijah schaffer
Eli is saying this is the one way you can help.
Link is there.
michael mendoza
I read that one.
elijah schaffer
How about the one that they give me a check at $530?
michael mendoza
I read that one too.
elijah schaffer
Okay.
Hold up.
Can you fill time for a second?
michael mendoza
No.
Actually, Earl?
earl gray
Well, he was talking about how they all look like aliens, and I think it's because of the plastic surgery because they widen their eyes and they shape their foreheads.
unidentified
Right?
earl gray
Yeah, and they shape their jaws, and then they turn out to be some alien-looking girl, and then they all turn into some type of alien.
So when you bust up your nose, shorten your forehead, widen your eyes, you turn into an alien.
That's how it happens.
michael mendoza
Yeah, well, we have too many.
Yeah, we have too many illegal aliens in this country already.
Marcelo.
earl gray
Here's Local.
Don't turn yourself off.
elijah schaffer
He doesn't care about locals.
That's personal.
michael mendoza
That's true.
elijah schaffer
No, someone will be on local.
Dude, you have no idea.
earl gray
We're reading it.
We're locals right now.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, we're reading it right now.
Okay.
So, by the way, if you see the whole chat, let me get out of this for a second.
michael mendoza
What's up, locals?
elijah schaffer
Locals, not on.
michael mendoza
Go and sub on locals.
elijah schaffer
I guess Locals was not on.
michael mendoza
Oh, interesting.
earl gray
I don't know if it adds to the chat.
elijah schaffer
Oh, this one?
michael mendoza
Nice.
I might have to scroll a little bit lower on that picture.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, some people are blessed with pretty sizable pieces there.
Not all of us are.
michael mendoza
Thank you, Elijah.
elijah schaffer
Thank you.
That's me.
I'm the one blessed with the sizable piece.
I'm the guy in the middle.
Shout out to Kaz and everyone there.
Anyway, thank you so much again for watching.
Don't forget, if you watch the show, don't forget to support directly at Censored.
These are brand new computers.
I never even signed into anything here.
That's why I wasn't signed in.
I was like, where's all our Earl?
michael mendoza
Fill time?
earl gray
Yeah, they got alien heads because they're okay anyway.
michael mendoza
Mr. White.
Okay, never mind.
All right.
Okay.
elijah schaffer
Anyway, shout out though to those on censored.tv.
We are getting the studio running.
We're the only show that would build a studio as we're working in it, so things don't work half the time.
But the majority of people build a studio after or before they move into it, right?
They move in and they move in like six months later, a year later, but we move into it immediately.
Thank you so much again for supporting us.
Mike Mendoza, the Mike Mendoza show, has a lot to say here.
Close us out, Mike.
michael mendoza
Yep, that's me.
Mike Mendoza JPG.
Follow me on Twitter.
And Mr. Earl Gray, could you fill time, please?
earl gray
Yeah, you don't need to follow me anywhere.
I'm going to be at this trip club after this.
Come join me.
michael mendoza
Every single night.
earl gray
Mr. White.
unidentified
Not tonight.
michael mendoza
Mr. White, not tonight.
earl gray
He hit it.
elijah schaffer
Anyway, have a good rest of the week, as always.
And may God bless the United States of America.
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