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March 11, 2022 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
01:49:09
Greta Thunberg POOPS Her Pants in Studio!? | Guest: John Doyle | Ep 233

As Ukraine is shelled daily with constant explosions from the Russian army, gas prices are soaring, and the future of the world seems uncertain, it's hard to determine which government is the real aggressor in this conflict. While Putin is still a bad dude, the Ukrainian president isn't some saint either. The true story of what's happening is difficult to accept, but the same media that lied to you about *******19 are the same ones crafting this narrative. John Doyle from Heck Off Commie and climate activist, Greta Thunberg, join us to weigh inShow more Thanks to Aidan our Jr. intern for playing such an influential role in this episode. Incredible acting skills ________________________________________________________________ ⇩ TODAY'S SPONSORS ⇩ MY MEDIC: You never know when you're going to need a medical kit, which is why the Slightly Offens*ve team always has one on hand. The MYFAK Pro is not your typical box of bandages, it comes with over 100 quality first aid and trauma supplies. Get yours today at https://mymedic.com/ and use promo code OFFENSIVE for 15% off and access to a FREE lifesaving online course! RAYCON: Tired of spending hours untangling headphones? Or spending hundreds on having to continuously replace your wireless pair? Head over to https://rayconglobal.com/offensive for 15% off the most high quality pair of wireless earbuds you've ever experienced. BIRCH GOLD: Inflation is already running hot…which is why we don't put our trust in fiat currency, we trust gold. Not sure how to get into investing in gold? Check out Birch Gold! Get started on protecting your savings with gold in a TAX SHLETERED account and request a free info kit from Birch Gold by texting the word "OFFENSIVE" to 9-8-9-8-9-8. ________________________________________________________________ ⇩ FOLLOW THE GUEST(S) ⇩ John Doyle YT: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnDoyle WEBSITE: https://heckoffcommie.com/ INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/johndoyle.jpg/ Chrissie Mayr YT: https://www.youtube.com/c/ChrissieMayr WEBSITE: https://www.chrissiemayr.com/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/ChrissieMayr?s=20&t=D77FRnfPHiGP3Byi3kXMYw INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/chrissiemayrpod/ ________________________________________________________________ Become a subscriber at BlazeTV https://get.blazetv.com/slightly-offensive/ use my code "ELIJAH" to get $10 off a full year ________________________________________________________________ Slightly Offens*ve Merch: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/elijah-schaffer ________________________________________________________________ DOWNLOAD AUDIO PODCAST & GIVE A 5 STAR RATING!: APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/slightly-offens-ve-uncut/id1450057169 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7jbVobnHs7q8pSRCtPmC41?si=qnIgUqbySSGdJEngV-P5Bg (also available Google Podcasts & wherever else podcasts are streamed) ______________________________________________________________ ➤BOOKINGS/INQUIRIES: [email protected] _________________________________________________________________ ⇩ SOCIAL MEDIA ⇩ ➤ ELI'S LINKTREE https://linktr.ee/elijahschaffer ➤ SAV'S LINKTREE https://linktr.ee/savsays ➤ INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/slightlyoffensive.tv ➤ PARLER https://parler.com/profile/Elijahschaffer/posts ➤ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/ElijahSchaffer ➤ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/officialslightlyoffensive _________________________________________________________________ The Idea Of A Free Society...For Kids! Head to https://teachrealprinciples.com for a unique book series that introduces the important ideas that schools no longer teach. Show less

Participants
Main voices
e
elijah schaffer
01:02:55
j
john doyle
34:09
Appearances
c
chrissie mayr
04:28
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
elijah schaffer
And today, I'm a bad guy.
I'm the bad guy.
If I just say, hey, hear Putin out, just hear him out.
But the guy who did 9-11 and invaded Iraq, he gets to dance with Putin.
I'm going to tell you what, I'm not jealous of a lot of things with women, but that woman dancing with Putin, it is a dream of mine.
I am inspired.
I am on fire.
The world is literally burning as we speak.
Not fossil fuels, that is, because no one can afford to buy them.
We have an amazing show up front for you guys.
Welcome back to Slightly Offensive, the best, worst show on Blaze TV, where we always have confetti of color blasting in our face, the wonderful 8K graphics you've come to know and love.
I'm Elijah Schaefer, your top 17 host, and I am joined by two of my favorite people in the world, the victims of vaccine damage.
John Doyle from Heck Off Commie.
Welcome back to Slightly Offensive.
john doyle
Thank you.
What was that qualifier?
The victim of vaccine damage?
elijah schaffer
It was a joke about autism.
john doyle
Oh, I see.
I see.
I wasn't vaccinated, but then it's also the whole being autistic thing.
So the joke didn't quite land.
elijah schaffer
I wasn't as a baby, like when they give you like vaccines as a baby.
john doyle
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
There's no vaccine out currently that adults are taking.
You didn't know that?
john doyle
No, I had no idea.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
There's something that people give that name to.
You know what I'm saying?
Like God, like, you know, for instance, God made the rainbow about the promise they wouldn't flood the earth and now it means gay.
And gay used to mean happy and now means gay.
Vaccine used to mean vaccine and now vaccine means whatever means gay.
john doyle
Right.
elijah schaffer
We also have my second favorite, very damaged individual who's done nothing good for society, Greta Thunberg.
Welcome back to Slightly Offensive.
unidentified
Thank you for asking me to come speak at your event.
It's smaller than I expected.
Let it be known.
I did not take a flight here.
I arrived in an emissions-free yacht.
elijah schaffer
Why is it every time I confront a woman, it's always, it's smaller than it was, than I expected?
Why is that always what they tell me?
john doyle
It's because they don't listen to you.
I mean, you advertise it such that it is known to be Elmy Krohn, and they're just not listening.
And so then when they're confronted with it, they're like, this is smaller than I expected.
unidentified
I had more people at my first climate strike walkout in front of the Swedish parliament.
elijah schaffer
You're so unnecessary.
I will say this, though.
We are happy to have you here.
I did want to bring this around because, you know, we have the autist back in the room.
I have Down syndrome.
Did you get that TikTok I sent you where her brother had autism and Down syndrome?
john doyle
Which one, Elijah?
Which one?
elijah schaffer
The one where he's like, it was like, my brother has autism and Down syndrome.
And I was like, bro, this is if we fused.
It's like, this is our offspring.
He's just sitting in bed having like a demonic possession attack.
john doyle
And I'm like, I have a policy in my household, which is I don't acknowledge any correspondence from Elijah Schaefer between the hours of like 1 a.m. and 7 a.m.
And if it was in that window, which I imagine it was, I just ignore it because it's always TikToks.
It's always like weird, obscure startup ideas.
unidentified
And it's just like, you need to go to sleep.
elijah schaffer
It's true.
Make sure you follow John at heckoffcommy.com and you make sure that you follow his channel and you can search John Doyle.
You can get a lot of updates on he's a Russia expert, woman expert, black person expert.
He's basically, there's very few things that he's not a respecter of and not an expert of.
And we have our big John Doyle respectors.
Also, Chrissy Mayer has shows coming up, Good Nights 317 in Rally, North Carolina, Wormhole 319 in Savannah, Georgia, Side Splitters 320 in Tampa, Florida, and the album live from January 6th on 315, being released on iTunes and Amazon.
And Greta, you're here to promote that you were hired or something.
unidentified
I hope that all of those shows she's able to get to without any omissions.
elijah schaffer
Or disabled admissions.
unidentified
Differently abled.
elijah schaffer
Okay, so before we jump into, before we jump into the show today, I want to give a huge shout out to our sponsor now, MyMedic, because John, I don't know if you've been aware of this, but the world isn't exactly a safe place.
And as of right now, it's very volatile and you really, it's really unsure of what's going to happen.
john doyle
Yes.
elijah schaffer
And like, and, you know, and you've talked to me, like, you know, no one starts their day thinking that, you know, something bad's going to happen.
And obviously, MyMedic, this brand, was born from a tragic car accident where one of their family members was unable to live.
They died because nobody had the ability to treat their wounds or to help them in their time of issue.
And so I know that the world's getting tough.
And I've had smaller medic packs.
Guys, I went with the full wartime.
I call this, it's not even what it's called.
This is my wartime medic pack.
I got John a pack as well down there.
I stole some ibuprofen from it, though.
John, John, I got you're more like travel-sized pack right here.
And there's just so much different things inside of it.
Show them what's inside of it, like just a million things.
john doyle
Like a dealer, no deal.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, MyFact Pro is not your typical box of bandages.
It comes with over 100 quality aid and trauma supplies, including tourniquet, chest seals, quick clot, and more.
With this kit, you'll be prepared to treat everything from basic cuts to a gunshot wound built in the U.S. and guaranteed for life.
I do not go out in the field without one now.
And honestly, the field is everywhere.
It is so insane.
Car accidents, work injuries.
Don't bet your life on it.
Go to mymedic.com and get 15% off MyFact Pro plus life-saving online courses.
Absolutely free with promo code Offensive.
Be prepared, be confident.
That's mymedic.com, M-Y-M-E-D-I-C.com, promo code offensive for 15% off the MyFact Pro.
And honestly, very, very cool.
It is actually very, very cool.
unidentified
Elijah, are there any solar panels in these packs?
elijah schaffer
No, because the brand isn't cringe and gay.
And so they are what you would call patriots and they love the country.
And so they want to save you from problems.
They're not trying to cause them.
But obviously, we're back in the studio.
And I'm really happy to have you guys here genuinely, because isn't it such a crazy time?
That's like my man can't even do a live on Instagram.
Just you know, talking about the honesty of a, of a global conflict.
unidentified
But you know, back in the old days you could just like there was a simpler times.
elijah schaffer
You invade countries without UN Security Council clearance, you bomb, you know, Eastern Europe, and then you dance with Putin and the world is just okay.
And now apparently, we're not in those times.
Putin is back to enemy number one.
America is always great, never made any mistakes, and the real enemy in the room is the e-boy, the e-celeb, who wants to live stream the truth.
john doyle
Real they, they banned me from live streaming on instagram and what you said is is so true.
I mean, this man is your friend, he fights for freedom.
Your enemies are not in Beijing, they're not in Moscow and they weren't in Baghdad.
They're in Washington Dc, they're in New York and, uh I, I. One of the things about progressivism that I really just despise is that it is so spiritually feminine.
They think that they have actually like, Progressed beyond the point of war.
And so now that they're like seeing like what actual, you know, traditional European style land invasion is, they're like, they can't even comprehend it.
They have no concept of it because Vladimir Putin is still, you know, what I guess we would call a strong man, which even that term kind of connotes like bad themes.
But it's like he says, okay, if you cross this line, I'm going to do this.
And we're like, yeah, whatever.
So we cross the line.
And then he does exactly as he said he would do.
And we're like scratching our heads like, what?
What?
Like, we literally just did the geopolitical equivalent from 1997 to now of kicking the dog, waiting for it to bite, and then shooting it.
Like that has been U.S. foreign policy for the last 30 years.
And more broadly speaking, the last 160 years, to be honest.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
And it's interesting, though, because of Greta being around here.
You know, the obvious side effect of what's going on is that we are paying higher gas prices, not just from the war.
I think the war is a proxy covering a little bit of what was going on because thank God inflation wasn't happening until the Ukraine war until two weeks ago.
We haven't seen increased prices.
But I would say the Ukraine war is exacerbating this simply because we're suddenly making deals.
You're pretty happy about this.
It's becoming more expensive, too expensive.
They're actually predicting that gas is going to reach upwards of $13.
And in Texas, they think it'll reach above $10.
chrissie mayr
Good.
All you could talk about is money and economic growth.
unidentified
I haven't heard you once bring up a natural climate solution.
elijah schaffer
Everything you say is useless.
And it's unhelpful.
It is unhelpful.
unidentified
How dare you?
elijah schaffer
Which is actually, what is it?
You were preparing for the rain?
unidentified
I'm always ready.
Our world is warming up.
chrissie mayr
200 species of animals go extinct every day.
unidentified
Every day.
elijah schaffer
This is what's so off script.
It doesn't make any sense.
john doyle
When they say when like the elites tell us that like we are cattle, you really kind of almost have to understand what they're saying.
You know, when they have their focus groups and they decide like, how are we going to create this character of Greta Thunberg?
unidentified
Thunberg.
john doyle
Tunberg.
They're like, how do we create this?
This is a little girl and she's going to talk about the weather.
And someone raised their hand.
They're like, talking about the weather, she should probably have like an umbrella or something.
Well, that's impractical, you know, getting that on play.
Oh, a raincoat.
unidentified
Perfect.
john doyle
Like, that was literally a conversation that was probably had.
So when people see her in the raincoat, they're like, oh, weather, climate.
Oh, that makes sense.
And it's just the very like simplistic sort of caricature of like what someone in her position would actually be embodying.
elijah schaffer
If we talk about the arc, what's crazy is my opinions have changed on a lot.
And this is my autism arc.
I originally was like, why did they pick an autistic girl to be the voice of the climate change movement?
Who would listen to an autistic person?
Then come around two years later.
unidentified
Everyone.
elijah schaffer
Literally, my favorite person is autistic, and that's who I get most of my information from.
And I'm so happy about it.
But I will say this: Julia Song put out a tweet.
If we can get my screen up on the computer here, you know, she kind of pointed this out, that shit is so fake that the minute an outsider took office, we got cheap gas, cheap food, became energy independent, no wars, and focus on our country's own issues.
Yes, Trump has his issues.
I'm openly willing to criticize him.
Do not know why he's continuing to push the Pfizer and Moderna cash products.
Very, very strange.
Operation Warp Speed, questionable.
His co-sponsoring of Dr. Fauci.
Although I got redeemed when I saw him say that, you know, our country is in the hands of incompetent people.
But now we have the establishment hacks get back in and we have inflation, medical tyranny, World War III, need to take a mortgage for gas.
I mean, and I think that's a good place to start.
Shit is whack.
Like things are actually pretty wild.
And it's kind of difficult to understand that we're accelerating at such a fast speed towards the deterioration of society.
I'm starting to wonder if I should think of this as good or bad.
I don't know if this is good.
Like, is it to the point where people are going to get fed up or is it just going to make life so miserable that we lose power and control and understanding and then we all die?
Or are we getting into the position where people are seeing through the smoke screen and they're beginning to understand what the world is really about?
john doyle
I think the latter, you know, we often say that things are going to have to get worse before they can get better because people need to kind of experience a greater material sense of discomfort than just like turning on the television, seeing like Black Lives Matter advertisements during the Super Bowl.
Like you really, like I can still go and like get coffee without having to really look over my shoulder.
And even back when I lived in Michigan and more diverse areas, this was still more or less the case.
So we really have never experienced in this country, except for maybe the Great Depression, like a sense of like true, you know, hard times.
Like we live in the most decadent society in the history of the world and that's what's made us weak.
So I'm optimistic in the sense that like in the long run, this is what is necessary.
You know, the same way that China has what they refer to as their century of humiliation, literally 100 years of just humiliation.
This is what has compelled these people to sort of have this almost spiteful attitude of like, we're going to prove to the world that we are a respected and noble people.
Same way with Russia and Vladimir Putin in particular.
I mean, this is a guy who was in the KGB.
He watches the USSR collapse on the world stage in the late 80s and early 90s.
He refers to this still to this day as the greatest geopolitical disaster in the history or in the 20th century rather.
And it's like, this is a guy who basically stood back and stood by, so to speak, and waited for his moment to sort of reclaim the glory of like, you know, his empire, I guess you would say, and the Russian people.
And I think that's like what he's doing now.
So the United States, we just haven't had that position yet.
We haven't really suffered major defeats, which is why it's not simping for Vladimir Putin.
It's not that we're even pro-Putin.
It's just that we understand that we are occupied by a hostile and illegitimate regime.
And anything that embarrasses and destabilizes that regime on the world stage is a net good for American patriots.
Like this is a necessary step.
You know, they often, these WEF people, they borrow a term from Hegel, which is a historical necessity when they write about their big plans to engineer society.
And they say that these certain things are just historical necessities.
Well, the destabilization of the American empire, the globalist American empire, is a historical necessity to truly make America great again.
And that, in my opinion, is the most brilliant presidential campaign slogan in this country's history, like make America great again.
It's vague.
No one quite knows what it means.
It's open to interpretation.
Yet any American knows that it is true, that we are less great than we used to be.
Maybe we don't know why.
Maybe we don't know what caused that, but we all know it's true.
And more importantly, we know that it doesn't have to be that way.
But it is that way because of the establishment.
elijah schaffer
Well, I want to play a game with you guys for a second.
It's called, who was in office?
Okay, so we're going to, I'm going to give you two scenarios here, and we're going to try to figure out what the similarities might be.
If you go to my screen, Patrick DeHaan, the gas buddy guy, who apparently we have people who literally just follow gas.
That's what they do.
Breaking, according to gas buddy data, so I guess according to Patrick's own data, the U.S. national average has just set an all-new time record.
This is, by the way, already outdated, a 410 cents and 4 point, an extra extra decimal per gallon, eclipsing 2008's record of $4.10 a gallon.
The higher prices this time will likely stay around for longer.
So we have 2022 and 2008, the most extreme gas prices.
We're in the middle of global conflicts.
Remember, the people in 2008 started wars in Yemen and in Libya.
And also, I think there was, I think we, where else was there some strikes?
Somalia, they did strikes.
There was quite a few.
I think there was eight different places.
unidentified
I did many strikes.
Remember, I walked out of school.
elijah schaffer
You've been saying that.
We know.
It's what, five years now?
How are you 17 for five years?
You're like one of those characters from Family Guy, where it's like, you've never aged.
Like the South Park kids, are they always in like third or fourth grade?
How is Ike still in kindergarten or preschool?
I don't know.
How are you?
Like, you're still a child.
And by the way, I saw that singing competition.
Oof.
unidentified
I have a message for world leaders.
elijah schaffer
Go ahead.
Take it.
Ruin my show.
unidentified
Every Friday, we will be doing Fridays for Future.
chrissie mayr
It's a protest against the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.
And by the way, we have set off an irreversible chain reaction beyond human control.
How many in this room can say they've cut their emissions in half?
elijah schaffer
Is this your UN?
Did you literally just recycle your UN speech before the show?
unidentified
My feelings have not changed.
john doyle
I would just like to, if I may shamelessly plug, that same time in the parking lot across the street, we will be hosting a rally Fridays for Freedom of Western Civilization, and we will be there rallying supports and stuff for Vladimir Putin.
unidentified
How dare you?
elijah schaffer
It's true.
It's actually true.
And it's not a joke.
But I'm just going to say the game, we're going to start here.
Who was in office in 2008?
Who is in office now where we're seeing the exact same globalist plan to delegitimize the peace on the earth and to bring about an unsustainable way to access beef, to access gas?
Isn't it so weird that, by the way, everything climate change they say they got to get rid of, suddenly when they're in power, they're unaffordable and you can't actually buy it.
Let's start with Greta.
What do you think?
Who was in power, 2008, 2022?
unidentified
I believe that was, are you talking about this country?
elijah schaffer
Yes, Greta.
unidentified
Yes.
That was Mr. and Mrs. Michelle Obama.
john doyle
Mrs. Obama.
That's ambitious.
I don't know.
elijah schaffer
Dude, she comes out dick swinging every time I see her.
john doyle
That's a dude.
That's a literal dude.
elijah schaffer
I got to say this.
It is.
Someone asked me like, oh, you're working out now.
Who's your motivation?
I just follow Michelle Obama fan accounts and I'm like, I want those shoulders.
If I can get as broad of shoulders of that and like those kind of biceps, I could take a lot of people out.
john doyle
Find me a picture of Michelle Obama pregnant.
I'll give you $10,000.
You can't.
You literally cannot.
It doesn't exist.
elijah schaffer
What about Michelle Obama when she's younger?
john doyle
I mean, but even then, you know, it gets kind of tricky.
I don't know.
I'm not making any claims.
All I know is that it looks like a dude.
elijah schaffer
It does.
Okay, it legitimately does.
And they always choose ugly people.
Their site is always, always ugly.
But I do know that they've been asking Biden about what's going on to explain what's happening.
And of course, we have video two, which we'll get ready here in a second, is a real video.
This is like not even doctored, by the way.
And I want to say that because fact checkers keep taking my, they think the things I post aren't serious.
People on the internet think that I'm joking.
I'm not.
I'm a very serious person.
Everything I do is real and nothing is double speak.
You guys would know that.
You've been around here long enough.
We are a very legitimate show, very high quality, a lot of money spent.
And we're very, very happy to have this kind of access to footage.
But basically, they filmed him as they were asking him questions to explain anything that's going on in the economy.
And I believe, Greta, you provided this video for us.
Let's play video number two.
unidentified
What?
This is not the video I sent.
How dare you?
I sent a better.
This is not what I emailed you.
elijah schaffer
I would like to get that off the screen.
Because I'm trying to have a serious show.
And you just, everything you've brought to the table, your scripts, your videos, it's all shit.
It's not good.
It's not good.
It doesn't add to the show.
It's not good.
john doyle
It's just bad.
elijah schaffer
It's just objectively, it's awkward and it's not good.
john doyle
The same way, I think it was Joseph DeMaster said that every country has the government it deserves.
Every country probably also has the podcast, the political podcast that it deserves.
I mean, the country's a joke, so why would this show be serious, you know?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, no, why would it?
But that's why we've answered the call and everyone knows that Slightly Offensive gained a huge reputation for like basically being possibly the most legitimate and serious show in the history of shows ever.
But it's also, by the way, I love how this phrase, it's bad and it's going to get worse.
Just so you know, when the Biden administration banned the imports of Russian oil and gas, I love when they show pictures of Russia and they're like, Russia lost Pornhub.
Russia lost McDonald's.
Coco Chanel won't sell clothes.
They can't buy Louis Vuitton purses.
Russia's in downfall.
A very Western capitalistic, and I would say like the crony capitalistic type of even approach of like materialism, even immorality.
Like, wow, what are you going to do without porn, Big Macs?
john doyle
And we're owning Sugar water, you don't get e-dopamine from porn, haha.
And like overnight, it's going to become like Wakanda in Russia.
It's just going to be this completely hyper-advanced society.
It's kind of like when you criticize women and then they're just like, well, we're not going to have sex with you because you said that we shouldn't vote.
And it's just like, okay, like that, what bearing does this have on like my day-to-day life?
The same way.
Well, you're not going to get to watch Marvel movies because you're trying to take ethnically Russian people and integrate them back into your country.
And it's like, who cares?
elijah schaffer
No, and you know, and that's going to say, like, I love this wording that's going on here.
It says here in this article specifically that the Biden administration is set to ban imports of Russian oil and gas.
Now, they did this already, and they actually did ban them $700 million a day.
And this is where our country's gotten to.
It's like we were already paying higher at the pump, and it's accelerating because we did this without calculating deals with our foreign enemies.
And by the way, we're not moral because we're trying to, you know, compensate, which I look, I know what it's like to have to compensate for things.
You know what I mean?
Like when you're lacking and you, and you need to, yeah, and you need to just get it.
Okay.
I get it.
We've talked about this.
We've got it on the table.
But I will say that Biden is like, yeah, here, here you go, guys.
We're going to punish Putin legitimately by making life more expensive for us.
And it's your moral duty.
It's your moral obligation.
Like you watching this right now, you need to pay more.
And I watched videos of people that are, you know, live on fixed incomes that are out there saying, I cannot afford to get to work.
Not everyone's lived in California where they're used to this kind of stuff.
This is like a lot of people live in other states because they can't afford it.
I mean, I paid $4.23 for a gallon of gas in my car.
And I got to say this.
I don't regret buying a V8.
I don't regret it.
I like to go fast.
Boy, fast equals good.
Right?
Right.
Am I right?
john doyle
Yes.
unidentified
But think about all the carbon.
elijah schaffer
John is FaceTiming somebody.
unidentified
Elijah, why don't you ride a bicycle?
elijah schaffer
No, well, let's just say this.
I can't ride a bike, but I also want to say like it makes me upset because at the same time, in every single moment where we're told, hey, here's what's going on in the world.
Here's what's going on in the world.
We end up footing the bill.
We end up paying the cost.
We spent trillions of dollars, which we haven't even paid off.
We haven't even paid off our debt for the Iraq and the Afghanistan war.
And almost every conservative that I've talked to, like, I literally, they're like, well, they, you know, Ukraine doesn't deserve to be invaded.
Have you never read a book?
Like, I don't mean to be rude here.
It's like, it's like the Ukrainian people are victims.
So are the Russian people.
The Russian people, the Ukrainian people, Western people are victims of our own regime.
john doyle
Above all else, American people are victims.
Like, I'm so tired of this, like, oh, well, we got to go fight these people.
Well, we got to fight these people.
Like, you know, I'm from Detroit, which is, of course, why I'm a black person expert.
And I can go down to Hart Plaza in Detroit and read a plaque of the founding colonies of Detroit in 1701.
And I can see two or three of my ancestors' names on that plaque that arrived with Cadillac and like settled the city, the city that now exists in a country that is younger than it.
And now there are a lot of Ukrainian immigrants who arrived here after World War II, and they're marching around in downtown Detroit, demanding that America gets involved in a war to settle their ethnic grudges.
And it's like, okay, how American really are you?
You know, you're American when you want to ditch your country and you want to come over here because you want to participate in our materially decadent society, or maybe you want to, you know, just get away from your country for whatever reason.
But then the second it's time to like put boots on the ground, your allegiance switches back very quickly.
So it's not that America is really your country.
It's you're just kind of dwelling here, but you identify more with like your Ukrainian, which isn't even a real country.
Sorry, you're like Ukrainian side or whatever.
And it just is really upsetting to me how America always has to be the country that like justifies its own existence.
Like it is given.
It is for granted that Ukraine has a right to exist and they have sovereignty and everything.
But we have to actually like make arguments as to why America should exist or maybe at least not like disappear so quickly.
Like, hey, maybe we should cut immigration from 3 million a year down to like maybe half a million, 1 million.
And people are like, are you crazy?
We're a nation of immigrants.
And it's like our entire ethos is basically like set up to implode on itself.
And I think it's just disgusting for people to want to come over here, live here for like one generation, and then try to take money and lives out of American households to go fight in wars in countries that Americans can't even identify on maps, which partially is because, yeah, we're bad at geography.
We don't even teach it.
But also because it doesn't have any bearing on us.
We have no legitimate interest over there, but they're going to do that because they want to settle their ethnic grudges against Russians.
elijah schaffer
Why don't we teach geography?
Because I took geography in ninth grade and we did a lot of that, but I went to private school for those years.
And I noticed that basically most Americans couldn't even tell you what the states are on a map.
Like besides maybe like Texas and California, at the very most, it's like there seems to be a very odd element of isolation and protectionism and meaning keep Americans focused in America, but without informing them about anything in the world.
So it's an uninformed protectionism, which is basically protecting Americans from knowing the truth about what's really going on in the world.
So we lied to daily.
john doyle
Literally, like all of this stuff happened recently enough to where my dad can go, oh yeah, I remember reading about that in the newspaper.
Like that is how recent this is, but it's all been memory hold.
Like in 1991 with the collapse of the USSR or 1997, when NATO starts expanding eastward, they start integrating all of the Baltic states into NATO, which they promised Putin they would not do.
This is all very recent.
But literally, if you stopped the average American and asked them what's going on right now between Ukraine and Russia, they would tell you something approximating the caliber of Kamala Harris's answer, which is there's a big country called Russia and a little country called Ukraine, which isn't even a little country, by the way.
And then it just swallowed it up.
Like it's this very just childlike Saturday morning cartoon conception of geopolitics because they don't understand.
They literally, even in 2018, when Ukraine said, okay, we're done with the strategic pact with Russia, we want to join NATO, 2014, the Obama administration legitimately staged a color revolution soft coup in a pro-Russian government in Kiev to install a pro-Western, basically puppet state.
And it's like, all of this has happened so recently and we just have no knowledge of it.
So American education, you know, the right always attacks it like, oh, it's indoctrinating people to be communist.
True, but it's also generally designed to keep people stupid.
I mean, history is so important, but all we learn is World War II, civil rights, slavery.
That is the entire American history education.
And then like founding fathers, but that is it.
There is nothing else.
And it certainly doesn't transcend beyond our borders.
We, well, it does in Europe with the whole World War II thing because that's the worst thing to ever happen.
But other than that, we have no historical knowledge.
And so that paves the way for a population that buys in to what they do know, which is the Saturday morning cartoons, the Marvel movies, where there's just a bad guy and he just, he's just gone crazy.
It blows my mind that like when he went downstairs to pick up the Chick-fil-A, that driver probably woke up this morning and got dressed and ate some food and he drove and there was all these other people in traffic and all of these rational adults, purportedly, half of them probably actually think that the world's problems are caused by bad guys who are crazy.
They're just insane.
And me driving my toy out of Camry, I know better than them.
And if I were in charge of Russia, well, this wouldn't be happening.
It's like the hubris is just disgusting to me.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
And I also think that there's an element of this that people don't think about, which is what is our culture and our identity?
What is our inheritance as a people, ultimately speaking?
Like, okay, yes, you know, Russia, being Eurocentric, it is in different ways.
It's ideologically, you know, juxtaposed to Western Europe, especially in a modern era.
But it's like, you know, we have been given a gift down from parents to children that have been preserved and fought for.
And you have to realize not only what are we inheriting, but what are we passing on to our kids?
And currently, if the West detaching itself from the East and showing its dominance is the equivalent of materialism and fast food, then what is it that we've preserved and what is it that we're passing down?
And when the East is like, it's not like, hey, when we're going out from them, their birth rates are falling.
Like we're detaching.
They're not going to have kids anymore.
They're not going to have hospitals.
They're not going to be able to survive or whatever.
It's just like they can't wear designer clothing and have gay parades.
I don't know if we're really preserving something great, which is my interesting critiques on conservatism that we disagree on sometimes is that I want to live in a world where there is something great to preserve.
It just seems at the point of implosion, perhaps, because it's so been so far gone.
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unidentified
Hopefully.
elijah schaffer
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No, but I'm going to say it's like, aren't you guys glad, you know, when all this being said, that you're paying more at the pump?
That's the motive.
It's like, you're just to be happy that you're paying more for gas because it's helping the cross-dressing, allegedly bisexual, which I'm not shaming him.
There's a lot of, a lot of promiscuity in the leadership.
But an actor, like a literal actor, a scam actor, country that is run by the U.S. illegitimate regime.
And of course, you should feel bad for the Ukrainian people.
I do, that they were duped into trying to join the West and thinking they could join NATO without a cataclysmic war.
The fact that they were deceived, it's like, don't you feel bad?
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Oh, the government lied to its people and they ended up in a war that they thought wasn't going to happen because their government lied to them with state-run media.
Oh, yes, I do feel bad knowing Ukrainians.
It is horrible.
I feel bad for the Russian soldiers invading Ukraine.
I feel bad for the Russian and Ukrainian soldiers fighting Russia.
It's a shitty situation and it's not good.
But it's like also in the end, it's not our problem anymore.
We need to let it go.
And Russia's been very clear on its terms.
And it's like, in the meantime, all this is going to do is going to completely destabilize the world.
And it makes me wonder if they're glad about that, if they're happy about this.
john doyle
Yeah.
And it's like us taking this position on the conflict doesn't mean we're apathetic or that we don't understand it's bad.
But, you know, my mom always used to tell us this growing up.
She used to say that you have to guard your heart, which I think is derived from Proverbs.
And it's like, you do.
You have to guard your heart because ultimately it's not facts and logic which compel you to take action.
It's like emotion, right?
It's like consciously choosing to care about something.
And if you are allowing yourself to have an unguarded heart where anybody that shows you a sad piece of video or a sad photograph can compel you to take action for whichever cause they like, that's a problem.
So it's not that we're watching the same footage you are and we're just saying, oh, I don't care about that.
It's like we do care, but you really do have something of an emotional bandwidth that you can spend.
And they would like you to just sit there and stare at the screen all day and look at all the sad things happening and literally like suck your life force out of you.
But you just can't allow for that to happen because they're trying to manipulate you, which is why if you turn on CNN, or actually Fox News is the real perpetrator of this, you will see just quintessential wartime propaganda.
But if you look at like Vladimir Putin's position, he can articulate it in two minutes.
He can cite the history, like the history.
And I mean, it all makes perfect sense, but we don't have that case because we're in the wrong.
And if we start asking questions about why we're actually over there, that opens up cans of worms about, you know, our intelligence operations in Ukraine, different things going on there.
We just don't want to do that.
So that's why we have to run the propaganda.
Well, it's just bad things happening, and he's just a madman and he wants to blow up the whole world.
And the American public is basically stupid enough to buy into that.
elijah schaffer
I just want to say, choice of words, blowing up the planet.
It has come to my attention in the moment.
I don't know if I'm the only one in here, but it smells pretty bad in here.
And I just want to say, John, do you are you smelling what I'm smelling?
I'm not trying to be rude to anyone in the room.
I just.
john doyle
Yeah, I noticed that.
I thought that you want to are we cutting it or yeah, we can stop.
elijah schaffer
We can stop the film because okay.
All right, I'm not mad.
I look, I'm not mad.
Nobody's mad.
We're all humans.
We all do stuff.
We're talking about gas.
Everybody does it.
There's children's books.
Everybody poops.
I'm going to be honest.
It smells like somebody had some spillage in here.
john doyle
It's gone through here.
elijah schaffer
It smells like somebody shat their pants.
And I'm not accusing anyone.
I'm not saying anything.
And I'm going to say it is not coming from that side.
And I don't believe.
Well, I won't believe it's.
unidentified
I. Why is everyone looking at me?
elijah schaffer
Look, I don't, I don't care.
I literally don't care.
I just want to know, just admit it, it's not a big deal.
chrissie mayr
Okay, fine.
unidentified
Okay.
chrissie mayr
It was me.
unidentified
Are you happy?
Is that what you wanted to hear?
elijah schaffer
I'm just going to say that it's this is the weird thing is I literally add one thing at the beginning of the show.
I said, you can come on if you do not make this a shitty show.
And while you held up one end of the agreement like most globalists do, technically you didn't make it a shitty show, but it literally smells like you shit on the show.
unidentified
Change is coming whether you like it or not.
It appears I have exceeded my own CO2 budget.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, it's like those greenhouse gases that you're admitting might have just been a little bit more than that.
There might be a little bit of waste along with them.
And I'm just going to say, I invite you on my show.
Not only do you not perform well, but the biggest shitstorm is happening right now in your pants.
And I genuinely, it's not funny.
This isn't good.
unidentified
How dare you?
elijah schaffer
This isn't funny.
unidentified
How dare you?
elijah schaffer
Aiden, we have our junior intern here.
Can you please come here?
Can you please escort Greta out of the room, please, and just help her get cleaned up?
She wants to change the planet.
unidentified
She wants to change your carbon footprint.
elijah schaffer
She wants to change the planet, but she needs her diaper changers.
It's disgusting.
unidentified
Look at me.
elijah schaffer
It's very you're you're still plugged in with headphones.
You need to take those off, please.
You've disrupted enough.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
Thank you.
Well, that was fucking weird.
That was.
I'm so confused right now.
Okay, we'll just jump back.
We'll go right here to the we'll start right here with the transition into um what the fuck was that?
That's she shit her pants on the screen.
unidentified
I've never had that happen on the show before.
elijah schaffer
That was so crazy.
Okay, well, obviously, we'll have to cut that out.
That was weird.
Um, I'll just come in right here with green energy automation kill switch.
unidentified
Right.
elijah schaffer
Okay, so...
john doyle
I'm sorry, give me like five more seconds.
elijah schaffer
An autistic bitch shit in the studio.
Wait till I tell Tyler book that one.
Um, okay, I'll agree with you.
Okay, green energy, green energy.
Um, so, so, so, so, speaking of green energy, as we're on the topic.
Obviously, what's going on in the war that's interesting is that we are seeing this being used as a test run to shut down an entire nation's economy from the West, right?
There's a total move in a direction to remove commerce from the country.
The problem is, Russia, while their Rupal is seeing devaluation, which is normal in this kind of means when they're removing themselves from the American dollar, I love watching people say that we're spending $10 for gas, $70 for beef, acting like they're the only country's currency that's devaluing itself and losing money in the war.
Like, dog, wake up, smell the shit in the air in the studio, and understand that they're not the only country that's suffering.
And the problem is, they're just lying to us, being like, Yeah, our devaluation is out of moral superiority.
Their devaluation is because they're meanie fart faces and Putin's a bad man.
john doyle
Yeah, and they're going to totally shoot themselves in the foot because it's like what they're communicating is that if we don't like your politics or your like operations, we're going to like cut you off from the US dollar and trading with it.
Basically, the problem with that is that the value of the US dollar, because it's a fiat currency, is basically predicated upon two things: one, how much like operating volume there is, how much it's traded, and then two, the perceived, I guess, efficiency of our military.
Both of those things are not looking too good right now because they're basically telling Russia, we're cutting you off.
We're going to basically isolate you economically and purport you to be this like North Korean-esque rogue state, and we just can't control you.
But then you look at like China, they're allied, India, they're in support.
There's 3 billion people who I guess are going to start maneuvering away from trading with the U.S. dollar.
Okay, then you've got failed military operations in Afghanistan.
No one thinks our military is competent.
We're airing ads, you know.
I have two moms and blah, blah, blah.
And it's like now we're doing all this stuff in Ukraine.
We're talking about maybe a no-fly zone, maybe allowing for jets and weapons to come in.
And it's like we're flirting with the prospect of World War III because we want there to be pride parades in Kiev.
And serious countries don't really entertain things like that.
So they're going to start building or perhaps further developing infrastructure to move away from that dollar.
And America is going to learn what it's like to not be a superpower in the first time in 100 years.
We're going to have to move away from this sort of unilateral approach to a more bilateral or trilateral approach with different countries.
elijah schaffer
Almost like the trilateral commission that they've been talking about for so long and bringing us together.
And what's weird is our appeal to them, like you said, is like, well, you know, like, I love how it's like, you don't want to be a part of the West.
Right now, our battles in the West, wait, not only are we fighting Putin, by the way, this is how you know Putin's evil and we're good.
Not only are we fighting Putin, hey, what are you doing here?
unidentified
Oh, my, you know, there was a young kid out there.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, Aiden are.
Can you cut this again?
He was cleaning up.
chrissie mayr
What I think was shit.
elijah schaffer
Who?
unidentified
There's a young guy, Aiden, working here, and he's an intern.
Cleaning up what I think it smells really bad.
It smells like in this particular chair.
chrissie mayr
What is this?
elijah schaffer
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop it right now.
Was that on the chair?
chrissie mayr
Yes, that's definitely poop.
That's 100% poop.
Why is there poop in this chair?
elijah schaffer
First of all, Chris, you're on the nighttime show.
This is the wrong show.
So you were invited and you are here.
This is not okay.
First of all, you were literally eating feet.
chrissie mayr
This is 100% poop.
Confirmed.
elijah schaffer
The moral of this story, if you can go to my deadpan.
The moral of this story is that life is one bad skit.
And no matter what, in the end, no matter how hard we try, nobody's laughing and it ends with somebody eating shit.
And that's, we wanted to teach you guys that today.
And that was just a deep lesson in reality.
And we went through a lot.
I want to give a huge shout out to Chrissy Mayer, who played Greta Toonberg.
If you didn't realize this whole time, that was Chrissy Mayer, the same person.
Congratulations.
Give me some confetti.
Criticy Mayer.
Can you center yourself in your shot a little bit?
I mean, I don't, that's just, that's just, yeah, there you go.
Of course.
That was really good.
And guess what?
As John Doyle, the host of Heck Off Commie, John Doyle, congratulations, give him some confetti.
That was really good.
Excellent performance.
Really good stuff.
And I played myself as Rail.
Aiden played himself.
It was a really, really good bit.
And if you guys, I'm really, really proud of ourselves.
I promised you guys only the best of this show.
We would never bring you anything less than C-minus level comedy.
Sometimes it's at the D-list, but we still place it.
chrissie mayr
All that matters is to be tried.
elijah schaffer
No, I'm just kidding.
That wasn't a joke.
I'm just uncomfortable.
john doyle
Yeah, I'm playing a version of myself that is 10% more uncomfortable than usual.
elijah schaffer
I'm just kidding.
She literally ate feces and I'm trying to make it try not to get banned because it's gross.
She's into kinky stuff.
Well, welcome to the show, Chrissy.
And I got shows coming up.
We were talking about the fact that we are baiting Russia with the notion.
What does that taste like, by the way?
What even was that?
chrissie mayr
Actually, it's chocolate.
elijah schaffer
Okay.
chrissie mayr
Now it really looks like poop.
elijah schaffer
I'm going to be honest, I didn't know that was happening.
I did not know that was happening.
And that was the weirdest part was like she was supposed to leave and then she came back and sucked Greta Thunberg's poop off her fingers.
We promise you nothing but a serious show.
We promise you nothing but the highest quality entertainment.
She just ate eco-friendly poo.
chrissie mayr
Zero emissions, very recyclable.
elijah schaffer
Tasted like plant matter.
unidentified
It did.
elijah schaffer
And autism.
chrissie mayr
Spoke of burgers and insects.
elijah schaffer
Tasted like vaccines.
chrissie mayr
Vaccines.
elijah schaffer
No, but I want to say this.
So speaking of Autistic, Florida and Texas are finally like, hey, maybe it's not good that we chop our kids' balls off.
Maybe like the brand of the Western civilization that we're exporting to the world and we're facilitating domestically may be unattractive.
Maybe people like Putin, not only who tried to join the West but was banned, by the way, and vilified and made a villain.
Even though he is, you know, he is.
I always say this.
He is a mob leader.
But the key thing is, he's a gang member in a world of organized crime.
Like there's no such thing really as like a really good country.
Maybe the closest to that, war like you could say Switzerland until you find out they've been funding all the wars.
Both sides, by the way, look back a few wars ago.
chrissie mayr
You need a mob leader.
That's the only way you get taken seriously.
Like, look at the mob families.
Like, nobody, people were afraid to fuck with them.
elijah schaffer
I know.
You just went straight from the poop fingers to like hot takes on Putin.
Putin fingers in your mouth, Putin out the takes.
I'm really proud of that.
That was very good stuff.
John is uncomfortable, as always.
Welcome back to the show, John Doyle.
Thank you.
No, but I want to say this.
So, so obviously, these fake bills that are out there don't say gay bill.
You know, protect trans kids bill.
There's been a lot of amazing fights.
But like, if you look at this video, video number four, we can play it as B-roll if you can.
While they're saying that they want to reunite the West, we have like teachers and politicians walking through schools in Florida, in Texas, having kids in the most fake sign of reverence, being like, we just want our kids to all be homosexual.
And it's really kind of a weird thing that adults have gotten so interested in teenagers and children's sex lives.
The fact that we've normalized in society, teenagers having a sex life is also interesting.
But it's like, this is what they see.
There's no way that you can tell me that we need to fight in a war in Ukraine so that kids in Moscow can do this.
Like, I don't even, they don't even need to be doing this in America.
john doyle
Yeah.
I'm not willing to fight for that.
Nor actually am I willing to pay even 10 cents more for gas for that.
Actually, I would be willing, though, on the other hand, to fight on the opposing side and pay more for gas if that were the case, but it just isn't.
elijah schaffer
Well, like, you know, but speaking of gas, like transportation secretary, Pete, Pee-Pee-Butt, Pete Buttigieg, right?
Apparently, his husband, I think this is okay.
I could have my facts wrong, so it might not be his husband.
We'll just pretend for all intents and purposes that it is.
Oh, it is his husband.
Yeah.
Do you know that Pete Buddage, our transportation secretary, who's largely in charge of what's going on and our energy sector, the other guy too?
This is what his husband is up to.
Have you seen this, guys?
No.
This is literally what this is what our sitting members of Congress, you wonder, I'm not Congress of the State Department.
This is what they're doing.
John, I don't know if you've seen this, but this is for real.
And this is what Putin's saying, our government is promoting.
This is government officials promoting this.
Let's watch this.
All right.
john doyle
I pledge my heart.
unidentified
I pledge my heart to the rainbow.
john doyle
The not so typical gay camp.
unidentified
Oh, the not-so-typical gay camp.
elijah schaffer
One camp, one camp.
unidentified
Full of pride, full of pride, indivisible, indivisible.
elijah schaffer
Affirmation and equal rights for all.
unidentified
Affirmation and equal rights for all.
elijah schaffer
Watch your heads.
The flag wave.
chrissie mayr
This is so boring.
john doyle
Notice how the flag typically only has six stripes, too.
elijah schaffer
What do you mean?
This is not the BIPOC flag or what?
john doyle
Well, the like, yeah, the traditional pride flag only has six stripes because the rainbow has seven stripes, and the rainbow is created by God as a symbol of like beauty and his creation.
And because the devil can only pervert instead of like perpetuate beauty, that's why they have six stripes instead of seven.
And seven is, you know, God's number, six is Satan's number.
elijah schaffer
So, well, it's also just weird, too, because it's like, you know, if you have to have a flag, your own organization or your own flag for like a sort of movement like that.
Don't worry, I'm just someone's calling.
It's just producing a show.
It's not a big deal.
Just, I mean, somebody, someone like that.
john doyle
There's only the second weirdest interruption.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
unidentified
I hope that, I hope that that got cut out of the show because that was weird.
elijah schaffer
It would be embarrassing.
But I was going to say, it is so kind of weird.
It's like, yeah, we're going like, man, we're the good guys.
And that's meanwhile what, like, this is your husbands do.
This is also a weird thing.
You go to eternity leave, take shirtless pictures like you gave birth while your country has the largest backlog and supply chain crisis.
And then you're saying Russia is like so evil that they don't deserve happy meals.
And then on top of that, you're like, look at us.
Here's what a model family looks like.
And you have a gay camp for kids.
Do kids need a gay camp?
Is that a thing?
I've never heard of this till now.
I didn't even know those existed.
chrissie mayr
Nobody ever taught me how to masturbate.
I turned out great.
I'm still learning every day, to be honest.
This looks like a big, like, you watch this video.
It looks like a big, like, what do they call it?
The munchhausen by proxy.
It's like a lot of grown women taking credit for like accumulating gay kids in their lives.
Really, I think it's ultimately to feed the egos of the adults that keep this going.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, no, but do you know what I'm saying?
It's like, it's like, dude, bro, look within.
Look within.
I know there's some gay people I know that I do like, and they're normal people.
They're not gay people.
They're people who happen to have same-sex attraction.
Is there arguments to be made morally or in Christianity about this?
john doyle
Like, look at that.
elijah schaffer
Yes, but this kid is not healthy.
That is not a normal kid.
john doyle
And look at even that guy.
I mean, he's not a man who happens to be gay.
He is a gay man.
That means his entire identity revolves around the fact that he likes having anal sex.
And he is hanging out with children and he's trying to teach them about that lifestyle.
And it's dressed up with colors and they have songs and they have parades.
But fundamentally, what that is about is anal sex with other men.
That's what that is.
And the same way that a straight couple creates more straight people by having children, gay couples create more gay people by grooming children.
That's literally always the cycle.
Find me one gay person who has not been molested or have some form of adjacent mental illness or trauma.
It doesn't exist.
They even admit this themselves.
If you look on TikTok, they'll make little jokes like, you know, put a finger down if you have a good relationship with your father.
Put a finger down if you haven't been molested.
And like all the gay people do it.
And it's like a joke to them because they know it's all true.
elijah schaffer
What I think is really weird too about this is because obviously, Chrissy, you, of all people, have a lot of different friends with different backgrounds and stuff.
And I think there's a middle ground between like, obviously, what's his name?
What's the black guy from Turning Point again?
john doyle
Rob Smith.
elijah schaffer
Okay, yeah.
Rob Smith talking about like, you know, the phrase gay Christian or whatever.
You know, like if he wanted to make an argument that somebody could, you know, you know, struggle or have to work things out and love God and try to, you know, battle things.
People have their own issues.
To say that, like, you know, God is just wanting everyone to live this homosexual lifestyle, objectively untrue.
It's not in the Bible.
And it's really, it really does a disservice to certain organizations too when they let sort of like logical fallacies like that be put on the screen.
Dude, just go be gay and like just be a black guy.
You're black.
No one's like, hey, Rob's black.
It's like, you are a black guy.
If you're gay and that's what you are and that's what you accept your life, then go do it.
But why do you got to go on stage and be like, you know, black, gay Christianity?
What the hell does that even mean?
I don't, I'm even against black liberation theology, not even like that, where it's like black Christianity.
What the hell does that mean?
So it's like we serve the same God.
But in the same time with this stuff, it is interesting that our culture is like, I'm not joking.
This is why I'm bringing this up.
The argument of why Russia is bad, we can no longer say that the West is better because we don't arrest protesters that go against the regime.
It's happening in the West.
Specifically, we saw that in Canada and the U.S. helped with it.
Before you say it didn't happen in the U.S., we had arrested hairdressers like in Texas.
Okay.
We are capable of these things.
If you say it's because they're a fascist police state, have you not been living the last couple of years?
Okay.
And then if they go, oh, well, and he goes and invades countries without UN Security Council, clearance.
Okay.
Well, we do that too.
So what is, where are they bad?
They're bad because they don't have gay camps for mentally ill children.
They're bad because they don't push degeneracy and this idea.
And it's like, and we're good because we have gay black Christianity.
And it's like, which doesn't exist, by the way.
But I'm also saying like, we're basically saying you have not accepted our fallen form of Western society.
We are perversion of Christianity.
You have not accepted that.
So you are bad.
We've created our own religion of moral superiority.
When it's like, they're, I mean, they have the same problems.
Like, I want to get into this.
We talked about this off camera before, but like, Russia isn't a perfect country.
They have the same STD rates, issues with HIV, et cetera, like any country or developing or developed country.
They have the same problems.
They have humans.
They have sins.
They have issues.
But are you going to tell me that what Russia really needs right now is Pete Butigig's husband?
unidentified
Like, Russia is Tidik as you.
john doyle
He's literally kidnapping children.
Like, that's literally child sacrifice.
I feel so badly.
You know, there was a picture, not only with him, but even the way they recreate it.
I mean, he and his husband were sitting in like a bed cradling two babies.
And it's like, this is supposed to be cute and wholesome.
I feel so badly for those children because they're never going to get like a hug from their mother after like a bad day.
You know, it's one thing to make the argument, which by the way, this whole like, oh, adoption is so bad.
There are waiting.
I think the ratio is like 36 to one for couples who want to adopt to babies.
So like they're cranking these things out and they're shipping right off to like, you know, two parent households.
There's even waiting lists for children who have Down syndrome to be adopted, which isn't to say that they're less desirable, but just that, you know, comes with a higher responsibility of being a parent.
And it's like, we're giving these kids to gay couples, not because it's in their best interest, because we know it's not, but because like they want to have that experience of like, no, we're parents.
We have two dads.
And it's just like, that's just so unfair to the child.
chrissie mayr
And something deeply woke, we're inclusive.
john doyle
Yeah.
Like when I see those, those pictures, like, oh, we're a family too.
Like, they're trying to assert it, like, almost as though, like, obviously I would see a normal family.
I'd just be like, oh, it's a family, but you have to like prove it.
elijah schaffer
It's like, put it on the screen.
Put my screen on the screen.
john doyle
I'm not wrong about that.
elijah schaffer
This is really nice.
Oh.
john doyle
Look at how they're smirking.
Like, they think they're getting away with something too.
elijah schaffer
I just don't understand the hospital bed maternity photos.
unidentified
Like, here's a guy, you're like holding the baby.
elijah schaffer
I've never seen a picture of a guy laying in the bed as if he just gave birth.
I just, that's so weird.
Like, they're both laying down and I don't understand it.
It's like breaking.
Ah, dude, Pete Buttigig is so useless and adds nothing that no one knew he was gone.
Everyone's like, wait a second.
There's a giant crisis at the port of Los Angeles.
No one's heard from Pete Butiger.
It's like, what have you heard from Fauci recently?
These people just go out for weeks and you just don't know what happened to them.
That's why they're able to get plastic surgery.
Honestly, Nancy Pelosi, it's like they just go away.
You don't hear from them.
The media acts like they're not important, creates crises.
Nancy Pelosi comes back with a facelift.
I tint my eyebrows one time.
World War III starts.
john doyle
Oh, okay.
elijah schaffer
I'm sorry.
I don't have the ability to work for a corrupt institution that gives me time off so I can come back, serve the cabal, and sacrifice your kids to Mullock.
I don't have that liberty.
chrissie mayr
I think they look great.
john doyle
Yeah, if America was free to rule over the rest of the world, it would literally look like overweight, like grotesquely obese kindergarten teachers teaching little Chinese boys and little Arabic boys about anal sex and Moloch.
Like wherever the American flag flies, that is what we see at the embassies.
We see the pride flag.
We see the Black Lives Matter flag.
Like that's the end goal.
So say what you will about Vladimir Putin.
Oh, he's a dictator.
You don't live under a dictatorship.
You don't live under tyranny.
Oh, he kills journalists.
That doesn't happen here.
I mean, literally any criticism that you could have of Putin in Russia exists here in greater magnitude, except that they're materially less well off than we are.
But even that, I mean, you look at the gas prices and everything.
If gas goes up, everything is.
elijah schaffer
It's $1.80 U.S. right now per gallon in Russia.
john doyle
Yeah.
So whatever we have now to wave our finger at them, that's going to go away pretty quickly.
The bottom line is that Russia, of course, is not perfect, but at the end of the day, Russia and China are nationalist and relatively traditionalist countries.
And you'll say, well, they have higher abortion rates and they have higher HIV rates.
That's happening in spite of Russia, right?
Their government is not trying to orchestrate that from the top down like ours is.
Our government has two official policies right now.
One is official and has been for a while.
One's on the way that are some of the most like grotesque examples of tyranny I could ever imagine.
And you don't see this in Russia.
You don't see this in China.
One, it is the current position of the West, whether that's in the United States or Europe, to replace its native populations with mass immigration.
That is the official policy.
They don't have that in Russia.
So maybe they're all drunk.
Maybe they all are getting STDs, but at least they know that their descendants are more or less going to inherit the same country.
Maybe it's a crappy country, materially speaking, but it's more or less the same country.
Whereas it is the official policy of America since 1965 and of Europe, broadly speaking, to replace the native populations with mass immigration from the third world.
Secondly, the policy that's being worked on being totally implemented is where the state can say, well, you're not agreeing with your child's gender identity.
So we actually have the authority to usurp you as the parents and know what is best for the child.
And we can come and save that child.
We can come and take him out of that bad situation.
Which anytime they talk about the child consenting, obviously it's because they want to rape your kids, but it's also because they like the child can never consent because it's a child.
Something is always going to be fueling that.
And if it's not the parent, it's going to be the media.
It's going to be teachers.
Someone's always going to be talking into their ear, telling them, you know, oh, this is what you need to be doing.
So when they're saying we want the child to be able to consent, that's just them wanting control over the child to take that away from you.
And if you don't have country, you don't have land, you don't have heritage, and not even going back, you don't even have a future, you don't have forward, you don't have your descendants, what left do you have?
So yeah, Russia sucks, but you know what?
As long as they are destabilizing and serving as the biggest impediment on the global stage to a satanic evil empire that is the United States, they have my full support.
God bless Vladimir Putin.
He's literally, I'm not even kidding.
I think he's a godsend.
That is my unironic opinion.
Yeah.
And you know who else I'm reading for?
Xi Jinping.
Any criticism you have of China, same thing.
Worse in the West.
But he is a strong man.
And actually his country, you know, it was theorized that they could make them more democratic and they could make them more liberal by integrating them into the global markets throughout the 1970s through the 1990s.
Totally backfired.
There was one guy who said this would probably happen.
I think his name was Sam Huntington.
He said, no, wait a minute, what you might actually end up doing inadvertently is actually economically empowering a very hyper-masculine, hyper-traditionalist country.
And then they would actually be competing on the global stage against this more liberal, you know, gay countries.
That's literally what's happened.
So the only reason Russia is able to do what they're doing right now is because China is strong enough militarily and economically now to be able to back them up.
So, yeah, God bless China.
God bless Russia.
I don't care.
I'm tired of pretending that's not the correct take.
elijah schaffer
That was the best bit ever.
As John Doyle, John Doyle, Gimcon Fetty of Color, that was so good.
chrissie mayr
Ping pals.
elijah schaffer
That was really good.
And that was on the teleprompter.
And also, as Elijah Schaefer in shocked boomer reaction, that was like, if I'm going to do it again, like this.
john doyle
I'm going to get in trouble.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I know, but that's like, that's the shock boomer reaction when someone says something off script or on script, I should say, which we pre-wrote that to shock people to let them know what could happen if they heard the truth.
And then also, Chrissy Mayer, as Bimbo one.
chrissie mayr
Thank you.
Well, thank you.
Wow.
I've come a long way since Bimbo number three.
john doyle
You know what else I found out too to confirm that?
I just had this feeling.
I was like, I don't think no Russian ever called me incel.
No Russian ever called me a threat to democracy, a white nationalist.
They never tried to get the federal intelligence to come after me for going to a school board meeting.
So I just kind of had this feeling.
And then I looked and I saw that they had seized some officers' manuals from Russian military and printed in the manual.
It says literally, the Russian army is the last stand against a global satanic empire.
chrissie mayr
Wow.
john doyle
They know this too.
That makes me so happy.
So, yeah.
elijah schaffer
Well, it is a take that's a little too hot for Cheetos, but I will say that, but I understand.
And I would take a little bit of a backward poll from saying, I don't know if it's that God bless them, but I think it's made the best man win.
Meaning, I trust God for the future of the world and I trust his plan.
And I know that part of his plan ends up being that the one world government succeeds and that there is this universality.
And I understand this.
People go, why would that be part of his plan?
Well, it's because it's the final judgment.
Just like the wickedness, when he flooded the world, he wouldn't flood the world again.
It's like it progressively gets wicked that once they do this, which by the way, it appears, which we'll go over next week, the new WEF's plan for the Mark of the Beast that they release.
Amazing.
You'll probably be around for that.
It's so good.
john doyle
You know, actually, you should have me on You Are Here Live so I can argue with the super chatters about the Russia thing because I think they're not going to like that.
And I should be there to defend myself in person, I believe.
elijah schaffer
Since not really reading the super chats anymore.
john doyle
Oh, really?
elijah schaffer
We're not doing it much.
john doyle
Oh, well, Eden.
chrissie mayr
Yeah, you guys didn't read them any other.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I'm not going to get into it.
I don't know.
That's all I was going to say.
But I will say that we do read some.
I read them though when I get home.
I do.
I genuinely do read them.
And I was reading them last night and I read every super chat and I laugh because you guys are so funny.
But I'm not doing as much on show.
john doyle
Is that unreasonable?
I take on the Russia-China.
elijah schaffer
It's not.
And I'm not saying that because look at this.
Just look at this.
You weigh in.
You weigh in.
So it's like, obviously, we're like taking the example here of like Russia-Ukraine war, Netflix, TikTok shutdown operations in Russia.
Like this is like a ward.
Well, yeah.
So it is, right?
chrissie mayr
Yeah.
It's like they're going to just focus.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
chrissie mayr
Can they shut down TikTok in this country?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, that's what it's like.
It's like, maybe we should do it here.
But at the same time, look, at the same time, we're like, man, we're moral.
This is what we tell the U.S.
It's like, we're moral.
Look what we're doing.
We're shutting down Netflix because Netflix is, you know, what defines Western civilization.
At the same time, we are literally right here.
Netflix asks a judge to block prosecution over controversial cuties film.
Specifically, if we can go to my screen, this is from theblaze.com, which by the way, John, I've heard great things about this news site.
I just saw, heard of it the other day.
Not getting paid to plug it.
I just like theblaze.com apparently has great news stories for all ages, for people who love America.
Theblaze.com.
This was not an ad.
I've heard, you've liked theblaze.com.
john doyle
Yeah.
I was paid by Bang Energy to not plug them, though.
elijah schaffer
No, but attorneys for Netflix filed a complaint in federal court arguing the prosecution accusing them spreading child P, CP, over their film cuties would be a violation of the First Amendment right.
john doyle
Thanks, liberals.
Thanks, Enlightenment.
We have the First Amendment in the Constitution, and now they're using that.
You know, they expand it on free expression.
Now it's like literally an argument for like CP.
elijah schaffer
Literally.
john doyle
This country's so sick.
And see, that's the other thing.
unidentified
It's like, oh, but come on, John, where's your patriotism?
john doyle
It's like this country in its current form, again, has been orchestrated from the top down to become the sickest, most disgusting country.
It is an abomination.
This country is fat.
It is sick.
It is killing itself.
And like anything that serves as a challenge to that power structure that has destroyed the most like wonderful and glorious nation to ever exist.
Yeah, I'm going to root for.
It could be actually, no, I'm not going to say that, but you get what I'm saying.
You know, I don't, it's just like the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
And I think it really is that simple.
elijah schaffer
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John, I'm going to say this though.
Like you were saying, it is also hard to, in the midst of this, I don't know if people know this.
It's not talked about as much, but we are completely ignoring the fact that there are neo-Nazi, which is different than Nazi, by the way.
Neo-Nazis are pagan for the most part, and they have an ideology that sort of has a disregard for human life in some ways.
In some countries, there are all tons of different groups.
There's tons of different groups.
But specifically, the Aza Battalion in Russia, in Ukraine, there is a certain understanding where a lot of them use pagan symbolism.
They're not necessarily the same thing as people who believe in God.
There's kind of a lot of offshoots of these more like far right or extreme right groups.
I don't think there's anything I've heard about more other than men being the cause of problem and patriarchy of like how the greatest threat to civilization are specifically neo-Nazis, neo-Nazis, the gayk, white nationalists, I condemn them all, like Trump said after Charlottesville.
I would say that I have not heard anything more in the last four or five years before COVID than just like, this is the problem is white nationalists.
It's white supremacists.
It's neo-Nazis.
Am I wrong?
Am I the only one who's hearing that?
chrissie mayr
Yeah, they wanted to associate all that with Trump and anybody who voted for him, anybody who was there on January 6th.
It's just anything they want to shut down.
They'll slap with one of those labels.
unidentified
Well, yeah.
elijah schaffer
And what's crazy, what's crazy is, is if you see this image here, this is absolutely insane.
So Getty images.
Very authoritative bank of photos, John.
Ukrainian servicemen helped evacuate civilians near Irpin, Ukraine.
Three civilians were killed as Russian mortar rounds landed, striking a route used by civilians fleeing southeast towards, as we're going to, we thought, as John has corrected me, it's not Kiev, it's Kiev.
It is Kiev.
Yeah.
And we see this, and it's like, yes, there's the green hat, and there's a Ukrainian soldier.
They got the flag on their jacket.
I had the flag in my bio.
I have every flag, actually, John, in my bio now.
I have a Russia flag, Ukraine flag, Israel flag, Germany flag.
I just, I think I'm gonna add the gay flag and the anti-gay flag two together.
john doyle
I mean, you gotta get both sides.
elijah schaffer
That's what I'm saying.
I want to always have both sides.
Both sides are always saying, hey, you gotta listen to both sides.
No one's ever right in the world.
It's come on.
Have you heard of the other side?
But also in Ukraine, definitely they're right.
But in other things, like on sexuality and nationalism and immigration, it's kind of like a, it's too confusing to understand who's right and wrong.
But in Ukraine, not in between masturbation, I'm a Zelensky sexual.
It's like, you should not only like his policies, which you don't know what they are.
And we won't talk about the fact that he wants free abortion, the fact that he wants to legalize prostitution, bring drugs in the country, gambling, et cetera.
And also, they push for the split of the Orthodox Church, actually fighting a religious war and secularizing their own church.
Anyway, on the side note from that, which is really cool, I'm from the West.
I love that.
I'm wearing my Gucci shoes and stuff, and I'm eating burgers.
America.
There's something interesting that you noticed, John, on his outfit.
There's other than the Ukraine patch, there's something interesting on there.
It's a spider web or something like that.
What did you notice?
chrissie mayr
Doesn't he have a little special picture?
john doyle
Doesn't he have like a neo-Nazi symbol?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, and the only reason why you knew that is because I showed you on Wikipedia.
John, somebody doesn't know this kind of stuff, and that's fine.
And I educated him.
And I'll tell you why I educated you, though.
john doyle
Because you tweeted it out like two months ago, and then you got in trouble because you didn't know what it was.
And then you sent it to me.
And it's like, yeah, you can't do that.
unidentified
Well, yeah.
elijah schaffer
The point is, is like, okay, let's just be honest.
So I shared this meme, and apparently that's what this is behind this guy.
chrissie mayr
It's like a Keith Herring thing, doesn't it?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, like, like, honestly, what would you think this is?
Like, how would you ever associate that with like Nazism?
unidentified
No, it's like abstract art, sort of.
elijah schaffer
The face masks should have given it away to me.
But to be fair, to be fair, it is a it is COVID.
And so people wear masks, and maybe he's warning people that people could die and become skeletons.
And he's trying to grill.
I just shared this because everyone knows the McCloskeys are epic, and I just wanted to grill.
I didn't know that there was a sonorat.
I didn't know what it was.
I didn't know what it was about.
And I'm going to tell you, the internet lost their mind.
There were articles written about this.
Everyone was like, dude, even if you shared a meme by accident, this makes you a racist, anti-Semite that deserves to die.
And then the army in Ukraine literally has sonorads and swastikas on their cars.
I've seen the pictures, not from obscure websites, but from Getty.
And that's okay.
Because as long as you're a Nazi to fight Putin, you're good.
But if you share a meme on accident, you should burn in hell.
Also, maybe you can redeem yourself.
I should go start a gay camp or something.
I should go wave a flag and turn some kids into transgenders and redeem myself.
chrissie mayr
But the red and sauna red.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Hey, kids, you want to be gay?
Everyone's like, woohoo.
Hey, you want to protect your country from.
I'm going to stop there.
But I will say, John, it's the level of bullshit that I don't know what to do with this.
And, you know, you being somebody who understands this stuff more than anyone, bullshit, meaning of like people with bullshit.
I just want to know your take.
john doyle
I just think it is bullshit.
I mean, these are the people who, for the last 70 years, have constructed a propaganda apparatus that has said that there's nothing worse in the world to be than a Nazi.
Like, okay, cool.
But then they pin that on anything that is basically a challenge to the regime.
You know, if you are a nationalist, well, that's what Hitler thought too.
So you're like Hitler.
You want people's countries to base it?
Well, I guess that would be nationalism as well.
But it's just like, yeah, and that's why that exists too, because the greatest threat to the globalists is, of course, the nationalists.
And if you have nationalist countries, you can't have globalism.
That's why they don't like Putin.
That's why they don't like China.
That's why they don't like Iran, largely speaking.
Not that they're necessarily like these real Orthodox nationalists, but anything that's a threat to their global system, they're going to paint in a bad light.
And that's why, even though you have been taught from infancy that the worst thing you can be in the world is a Nazi, well, Nazis don't exist anymore.
I mean, they have no political representation.
No one takes them seriously.
There are, though, neo-Nazi militias and battalions.
And the president of Ukraine has enabled them to basically wreak havoc in the ethnically Russian parts of the country and the eastern parts because the enemy to him is Putin and is the nationalists in the country and people who are strong and resisting that system.
So just think about that.
That what they taught you was the worst thing in the world from birth.
That's not that bad in comparison to really what they hate, which is countries who want to be left alone.
And you know that better than anybody else.
If you've gone through the last two years of the American experience, you know that above all else, they hate people who want to be left alone.
You will bake the cake.
You will have your kid go to the drag queen story hour and you will die in Kiev fighting for pride parades.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, for neo-Nazis.
Are you voting for the neo-Nazis?
chrissie mayr
I don't think so.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I was going to say, I mean, I'm not going to get too into this, but it's like, it's really hard to make the justification that the good guys are Nazis.
john doyle
No, I'm inclined to agree.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
unidentified
Because Hitler guy, just a jerk.
elijah schaffer
He was mean.
john doyle
Not a fan.
elijah schaffer
He was very.
People, I'm going to teach my kids that.
So who is Hitler?
Mean meanie?
chrissie mayr
That's just a misunderstood artist.
john doyle
That is like literally how the Americans like perceive Hitler.
Like Hitler's just this mean guy.
He's just mean.
chrissie mayr
Anyone who's mean is like Hitler.
john doyle
Yeah, you're just an asshole.
elijah schaffer
I don't mean if I could summarize American history as taught into schools.
Black people.
john doyle
White people are mean.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, black people were mistreated by white people.
And then some other white people were like, we need to get rid of these dumb dummies in the South.
And we need to get, not only are the white people bad to the blackies, but they're the meat.
They're dummies.
They're dumb dumbs.
Even though they have like massive plantations and like trade and like, you know, entire commerce and sought independence, they're the dummy dum-dums.
And so we need to liberate the blacks.
Boom.
Blacks are liberated.
White, dumb guys, mad at tall guy because he hates the blackies, blows his head off.
Literally, everyone goes into cryo-sleep.
Everyone, they wake up in trenches.
There are Jews in concentration camps.
No one knows what happened, but the Antichrist came in pre-incarnate form in a man named Hitler, who you said is mean.
Mean.
And then they said for Western freedom, we will fight for them.
And they liberated them.
And then we got Israel.
And then we have a bunch of wars we lost, but we don't talk about this.
We like a couple things.
And then, and then, and then September 11th happened.
Then it was like was crazy.
Cryo-sleep again.
Cryo-sleep.
Everyone wakes up.
New York's under attack.
And then COVID happened.
chrissie mayr
Mean Middle Easterns.
No, don't think that.
That's racist.
unidentified
Yeah, no, yeah.
elijah schaffer
Muslims were bad for 2001, but then now Islamophobia is what it is.
Now we need more Muslims.
The problem was we didn't have enough Muslims.
And then COVID.
And then now Putin's bad.
That's like literally, there's like these gaps of like 40 or 50 years that explain nothing.
chrissie mayr
China releases a virus, but you can't have any bad feelings towards any Asians.
elijah schaffer
I don't think we'll remember COVID.
I don't think it'll go down the history books in like 40 years from now if people talk about it.
I think it'll be briefly mentioned in like epidemiology, but I think they'll want to can that one for a better pandemic.
So we don't think about it.
chrissie mayr
Yeah, one or more people die.
Or they're tricking people into thinking pandemics are like not that deadly.
So when they release the next one, people are caught off guard.
elijah schaffer
White man, bad.
You need mask.
Pooh, kill Putin.
Graham called for the assassination of someone on Twitter and didn't even get suspended for 24 hours.
john doyle
Yeah, and I got kicked off Twitter because I shared a Google Doc.
I hate this country.
This country's gay.
unidentified
Oh.
I'm feeling sad.
chrissie mayr
Hang in there, little guy.
john doyle
Okay, I'm going to internalize all of this.
elijah schaffer
Cheer up.
john doyle
Okay.
I know I'm normally a chipper young man.
I'll try to rejuvenate that.
elijah schaffer
You and I have the same problem where we run on e-boy hours.
And so like, the level of energy that I have every day is sometimes so fluctuating that I almost feel like a different human being.
And maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about.
We're just like, I don't, I feel like disassociated from my body.
While we made this entire episode, I haven't even been here.
I'm not even here.
john doyle
Cryosleep.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, but I will say this.
Antonio Garcia Martinez has let us know the ultimate psyop that the Ukraine business is really revealing who's an independent thinker and who's just an asshole contrarian, meaning anybody who doesn't believe the CIA state propaganda is now the asshole contrary.
If you disagree, you're an asshole.
chrissie mayr
You're an asshole.
john doyle
I've never been called an asshole by like, like, I've never been like pumping gas and I accidentally like spill gas on another guy's shoe and he's like, hey, man, you're an asshole.
Like, it's always like some girl who's mad at me for, frankly, probably a good reason.
chrissie mayr
Asshole is a girl word.
john doyle
Yeah, it's just like not a masculine word.
You're just an asshole.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Just be like, I'm not going to say any words.
I don't want to waste time censoring right now what I was about to say.
But I was going to say just too, they act like, by the way, a little education, they act like we've not been warned.
And I want to watch these two videos.
These are not even people I disagree with.
When I say Noam Chomsky, do you like Noam Chomsky?
Are you a big fan?
john doyle
Oh, I have so much.
Well, not so much, but I have something to say about that.
elijah schaffer
Okay, so I'm not playing these people as a fan.
My point is that people that I may not even agree with politically and people that I've had issues with are kind of like, it's at the point sometimes when I'm agreeing with my political enemies that maybe I'm closer to the truth on some of these global conflicts.
Not American conflicts, but I think there is like a general understanding on like the far right, far left of like corporate power is an issue.
How we get there and what the solution is is different.
But in the end, it's like there's an under, there's some things that we do unite on.
There really are.
Some things like of seeing the common problem, but not knowing how to get there.
Noam Chomsky actually warned us against that.
This would happen in Ukraine recently.
Can we play video six?
And listen to this.
We're going to watch also Russian-American journalist Vladimir Posner in 2018 after warning us as well this was about to happen.
But of course, we can't listen to them because, you know, Biden's crackpipe regime is exactly what we should listen to.
Let's play video six.
unidentified
The idea that Ukraine might join a Western military alliance would be quite unacceptable to any Russian leader.
This goes back to 1990 when the Soviet Union collapsed.
There was a question as to what would happen with NATO.
Gorbachev agreed to allow Germany to be unified and to join NATO.
It's a pretty remarkable concession.
With a quid pro quo, that NATO would not expand one inch to the east.
That was the phrase that was used.
So Russia has been provoked.
Well, what happened?
NATO instantly moved to East Germany.
Then Clinton came along, expanded NATO right to the borders of Russia.
Now, there are the new Ukrainian government, the government after the overthrow of the preceding one, the parliament voted, I think, 300 to 8 or something like that to move to join NATO.
But you can understand why they would want to join NATO.
You can see why Petro Poroshenko's government would probably see that it's protecting his country.
No, no, it's not protecting.
Crimea was taken away after the overthrow of the government, right?
And he's not protecting Ukraine, is threatening Ukraine with major war.
That's not protection.
The point is, this is a serious strategic threat to Russia, which any Russian leader would have to react to.
That's well understood.
john doyle
Yeah, so, I mean, going right to you, literally virtually everything he just said there is correct in terms of the timeline.
There's two other pieces of information that I think substantiate this well, one of which being that in 1997, Joe Biden, of all people, was giving a press conference or something where he said that the only thing that would compel Vladimir Putin to strike erratically at the West would be something like advancement of NATO within the Baltic states.
And that's exactly what happened.
I mean, like he said, one inch eastward, not one.
That was the policy.
We violated that.
And even, you know, Putin asked Bill Clinton if he could join NATO.
And Bill Clinton literally like laughed in his face.
Like, are you kidding?
elijah schaffer
Bush too, I believe.
john doyle
Yeah, literally when they were dancing with the implication is obviously that NATO was something to fight the USSR.
The USSR collapses.
Okay, then why is NATO still around?
Why are they integrating all these formerly Soviet states into their alliances?
Because they want to destabilize Russia.
They want to take down Russia.
They want regime change in Russia.
Now they can say the quiet part loud, right?
That's what people say.
You've got Graham on Twitter calling for the assassination, Hannity on Fox News calling for the assassination of Putin.
It's like, why?
Why do they want Russia taken out?
Do we really need them for our economy?
Do we want cheap oil?
We were energy independent.
Why do we want Russia taken out?
Literally because they are an impediment to the globalist American empire.
It is quite simply that simple.
chrissie mayr
Quite simple.
john doyle
Oh, also on Noam Chomsky, if I may.
Noam Chomsky.
I don't know how familiar you are with him.
He's actually a pretty smart guy.
He's a leftist.
And he's one of these guys that leftist college students, if they think that they're intelligent, they'll tell you, read Chomsky.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, and they always quote him because his name just sounds Chomsky has.
john doyle
Chomsky writes, yeah.
elijah schaffer
I'm really into anyone that tells you, they're like, I'm really into philosophy.
I'm like, oh, fucking, well, we know that you have.
Okay.
john doyle
This is like this is the just epitome of why it should be illegal to be a libtard because these people will read his book, Manufacturing Consent, which talks all about how the media will create crises within the population to get them to support a government narrative.
And they use this for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
These people will go on and on on Twitter whenever Trump does anything.
Read manufacturing consent.
Read manufacturing consent.
You go to their profile, Black Lives Matter.
He, him.
unidentified
Like, Nibba, you are the manufactured consent.
john doyle
Like, it's you.
chrissie mayr
Can you say nib?
elijah schaffer
Nibba like a nibblet.
john doyle
What's up, nibba?
chrissie mayr
Like a cocoa nib.
unidentified
Nibba.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, that's all white people have to say.
Nibaronian cheese.
Give me that pizza.
unidentified
Slap it on.
elijah schaffer
Put some barbecue sauce.
chrissie mayr
Nibba with a not with a hard R.
john doyle
Yeah, you can't say nib, you know, not with a hard R, but Nibba is totally fine.
elijah schaffer
No, yeah.
Well, that's actually true.
john doyle
We got the AP fact check from Elijah.
unidentified
Yeah.
john doyle
That is true.
chrissie mayr
That is zero.
john doyle
Zero Pinocchios.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, I want to play another video too because we always try to, you know, listen to this.
We have, again, journalist, Russian-American journalist Vladimir Pozner.
So when people are like, oh, he's Russian bias.
It's like, well, there's the American bias.
He's both.
john doyle
Oh, can I get mad about that too?
unidentified
Yeah.
john doyle
Bias.
I hate that word.
And it comes from that same impression that you did earlier with the guy who's always like, I'm smarter than both sides.
Hey, hey, they can't both be.
elijah schaffer
Everyone's got to be a little wrong.
Zelensky's got some points.
It's like, it's somewhere in the middle.
john doyle
This whole idea of like, I need to find an unbiased source.
That doesn't exist.
Like, bias, if I think the sky is blue, that by definition is a bias.
Bias literally just means having an opinion.
I want a source that doesn't have an opinion.
That's literally impossible.
And it's like this sort of like prideful idea of like, I'm above ideology and I'm above having an opinion.
I'm reasonable.
I'm going to read the facts and make up my own mind.
chrissie mayr
It's ultimate NPC.
It's like, what do you want to bot?
Like, who are you going to listen to then?
john doyle
So true.
elijah schaffer
No, and it is absolutely amazing.
By the way, I also found out I might need to start a proxy with you because I think there's this, they just started this thing called super follows on Twitter.
I got accepted today.
unidentified
Wow.
elijah schaffer
Where people become super followers, but then I get separate alerts for like $199 a month.
You need to make, not you.
Your friend needs to make an alt account and then we need to sign up for $1.99 a month.
I'll even pay for it so that I just get updates whenever that account posts and I just retweet those tweets.
john doyle
I have so much fun on Twitter.
elijah schaffer
The super follows?
No, you don't.
Your friends do.
john doyle
Oh, my friends.
My friends who have more followers on their alt accounts than I am.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
I was going to say, but let's listen to this too.
He warned us as early as 2018 that this was coming if the U.S., again, I want to point that out.
He's like, well, isn't this sad what's happening to Ukrainians?
Yeah, it is sad.
America caused this.
And it's not because Putin, I have a little different stance than John.
And I don't think he's a good guy.
I think he's a serious leader.
I think he's understanding what's going on.
Don't think that his vision for the world may be any different in some ways than the West in terms of this fascist sort of police state authoritarianism.
I don't know if he has any other option in terms of the way that he is.
john doyle
He's not really a good guy either, necessarily.
unidentified
Right.
elijah schaffer
Okay, well, I'm just saying, like, I, well, you're saying the savior, but I know you're kind of being facetious, but also not, but also it was a bit and it was a script, so it doesn't matter what you said.
john doyle
I think a bad empire destroying an evil empire is on the net good.
elijah schaffer
Okay, so I like that take.
I'm just going to say, though, that this is where it comes out: is like this person was warning us.
Let's go to play video number seven.
unidentified
Mexico.
Well, the United States has a pretty large border with Mexico.
Now, imagine that you have a revolution in Mexico.
That's not that hard to imagine.
And imagine that the government that comes to power is not a big fan of the United States of America.
And I think that too is not difficult to imagine.
But since it's a little bit afraid of Big Brother, it asks the Russians to send over three or four or five divisions to be placed on the U.S.-Mexican border.
Think the U.S. would accept that?
So, why would the Russians accept this?
That's what it's really all about.
Does there have to be a compromise?
In my opinion, yes.
And the compromise has to be that Ukraine, guaranteed, will not become a member of NATO.
And then the compromise is that the Russians get out.
john doyle
Everything you said there again is completely correct.
Like, literally, what Putin is even saying now is if Ukraine agrees to be neutral, like it would be over.
And that's why it didn't happen when Trump was in office.
You know, people say it didn't happen because Trump was a serious leader.
True.
However, it was also because he told Putin, like, yeah, don't worry about Ukraine and NATO.
Like, this isn't going to be a problem.
It's only when you have a more establishment leadership that's trying to really expand NATO.
Because, again, the establishment wants the collapse of Russia above all else.
And it's like, this was the whole thing with the Cuban Missile Crisis.
The USSR was moving missiles into Cuba that could reach the United States.
This is now such a huge event.
We all learn about it in our history.
It's like considered to be the defining moment of the Kennedy presidency, other than when his head did that weird thing.
And it's like, now that's what we're trying to do to Russia.
And we think that we're the victim somehow or that Ukraine is the victim.
Ukraine is the victim in the sense that they are Ukrainian people are the victim.
Their government has become a puppet state for the globalist American empire.
elijah schaffer
And by the way, and I want to caveat that, I'm saying they are partly to blame, meaning just like Americans who are victims, but also partly to blame, meaning they have bought a lot of the propaganda and they've also done a very common mistake that the West has lied to them about like, you too can be can be Denmark.
You're just, it's just because if you just accept our gay parades, you'll be like, it'll be like living in Denmark in Odessa.
And it's like, it's just not going to be like that.
And you're talking about Russia also is not a first world country.
It's a second world country according to their own standard of living because they've come out of a collapse of an empirical collapse, right?
And they've had massive sanctions and whatnot.
So it's like there was never an option for Ukraine to join the West.
This was not on the table.
This was a non-card.
And the West is like, it's an option.
And it's like, this is like, it's like literally the equivalent.
And they're like, oops.
And then they tell the Ukrainian people, look, it's Putin's fault.
And it's like, and they believe it.
I know some Ukrainians.
I had someone call me the other night who's like, I don't like your take on Ukraine.
And I talked and we talked it out.
And it was like, how does this not make sense?
I'm not blaming the Ukrainians.
I'm blaming Zelensky's regime.
I'm blaming the United States, the CIA.
I'm blaming Graham, specifically McCain.
I'm not blaming the people.
chrissie mayr
Yeah, why do you even have to say that?
elijah schaffer
Yeah, are people like, that's why I'm not, I'm not mad at that.
I'm not mad at that gay kid in the video with the orange hair.
I'm not like, fuck you.
I'm mad at you, you little homo.
I'm not thinking like that.
It's like, I know that kid is probably the product of growing up in an unbalanced home.
Probably had, like you said, something issues happen as a kid.
Now he's being put in a gay camp with Pete Butige's husband, which is worse, arguably, than being involved in a war.
chrissie mayr
Invalidate it.
Keep it going.
elijah schaffer
But I meant like, so it's like, yeah, so my war isn't with that kid, right?
My wars with Pete Butige's husband and Pete Butige and the ones that are like the system that made this well not just the system, even the people.
It's like, it's like, I'm not against the Ukrainians and I'm not even like, I just get this.
And that's why I'm not against Putin.
I'm not pro-Putin.
I'm just like, these are clearly, this is something that could have been prevented.
We didn't, we, we stoked it.
And then we are like, ooh, it's because Putin's just evil.
When meanwhile, it's like as if the last 20 years of history, 30 years, didn't happen.
chrissie mayr
Yeah, you're not looking at Putin in a vacuum.
You're not like just, you know, you have to take into consideration everything leading up to it.
elijah schaffer
You're like, Crimea, why did he take Crimea?
He needed to keep control of the ports, Baltic Sea.
He needed, he needed to keep power.
And the way that they were moving to kind of shut off Russia, it's like he had to take it.
Is it good?
I don't like it.
I don't like there was a war and invasion and annexation.
No one wants this shit to happen.
But it's like, we can't walk around like we're the good guys when really we're just pushing the globalist agenda.
john doyle
Yeah, this is the best.
chrissie mayr
No, it's the Crimea River, Elijah.
unidentified
Okay.
elijah schaffer
Crimea.
john doyle
I like to tell, you know, liberal types this a lot.
Like, you know, if you had a debate with Vladimir Putin, he would embarrass you.
Like, you know that, right?
Like, you would not beat this man in a debate on geopolitics.
And they, it kind of like their eyes gloss over for a second when you tell them that.
And it like really kind of they understand that, you know, in their language of like, oh, debate me, debate me.
Let's debate about it.
And they kind of do understand that that is the case because, you know, they kind of have this character, right?
This, this image of what they think Putin is or Trump is or whoever.
And they think, oh, I'm so much smarter than them, blah, blah.
You think about it, like, okay, if you're sitting down over coffee and you're talking about this, like, are you going to beat him in a debate?
You know more about this than he does?
Then just kind of like, no, but he's mean.
He's like an asshole.
And so that's just really what it all boils down to.
chrissie mayr
Like it's not a real, like, he's not a real person.
It's just like a cartoon.
john doyle
I remember too, man, this is a sad story.
I had a Donald Trump for president pen that my friend's mom bought after he won.
And I was like, you know, brought it to school and I was all excited about my little pen.
And then I left it in one of my language arts classes in high school.
And I went to lunch and I was like, oh no, I left my pen.
Some kid's going to break it because they don't like Trump.
And I remember rushing back to the class and I ran in there and the teacher and this artsy looking girl are staring down at my pen and the teacher's laughing as this girl is literally like in this demonic episode jumping up and down screaming just screaming and like destroying this pen.
And I'm saying that.
And I'm like, oh, that was my, I like that pen.
And then she turned and she saw me and it like, it stopped being like a thing.
Like it became real to her, like this idea of like this Nazi, evil.
And then I was like, oh, wait, no, it's just John.
And I was like, come on, man.
Like, that was my pen.
And then, I'm so sorry.
I was like, it's fine.
And it's just very like it'll, when they kind of isolate us from society, pick us off social media.
It's censorship, but as a means to depersifying it, lack of accountability, lack of like depersoning us.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
john doyle
Cause like if you're dehumanizing dehumanizing us, like if you can't acknowledge my humanity, that I'm more or less just a chipper guy who wants what's best for everybody, then you can paint me as like nothing.
elijah schaffer
I don't want to break this pen.
john doyle
And it's like, come on, man.
It's not that deep.
elijah schaffer
Can we just, can we remember like horse girls and people like that in high school?
I just want to flash back of like, there was some serious mental illness in high school, but you were just forced to hang around these people.
Like, like, like a girl would like do that to you in class.
You'd be like, I just got nayed at in class.
And like, you know, like, dumped, like, you know, she was a part of NATO.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
No, but I, yeah, like, you know, there's people in school where you're like, you didn't have the mental capacity or maybe you did, but the understanding to really like know this person is mentally ill.
And then you, then you go and you see these rallies and there's somebody in like blue hair that has six genders.
You're going, well, I mean, she did think she was an animal in high school.
She just hadn't been fully indoctrinated in college yet.
But like that, the transition made total sense here because these people did exist.
They were unstable.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
And then they just got taken advantage of.
unidentified
Like, the, you know, bad behaviors went uncorrect.
elijah schaffer
No, I just remember there's always people like that.
Like, there was, we have this kid with this one character.
This is what Kez always calls him.
Kez calls him the whyata.
And there's always like this one like kid that people would mess with and like tech tech type.
john doyle
I've seen Kez do that impression, too.
elijah schaffer
Why I gotta kid.
You know, that kid is probably autistic, but also like, then you realize you grow up.
Well, those kids that got messed with were like retarded.
unidentified
Yep.
elijah schaffer
Ah, because you mean it when they're older and then they work for tech companies.
You're like, oh, they're retarded.
chrissie mayr
Or they're climate activists.
john doyle
These people, too.
This is why bullying is so important.
I unironically think that this is, I'm just now actually realizing that this is an opinion of mine as I'm saying it.
I think that the anti-bullying campaign was like a psyop.
unidentified
Oh, wait.
elijah schaffer
Dude, I'm going to say this.
We knew this in validate weakness.
No, we knew this because it started when I was, it started when I was like in my second half of high school, these anti-bullying things.
And they came in from the federal government from grants.
And they came into the schools and we started having these things.
Because before that, they used to have the anti-drunk driving, first psyop ever in the history of psyops, anti-drunk driving.
Everybody knows that drunk driving is like driving, but a video game.
Okay.
They took that away from us.
john doyle
They took an inch.
They took your freedom there.
And look what happened now.
elijah schaffer
I can't take 10 shots and drive down the road in like super warp speed mode.
You've taken my country from that.
john doyle
That's why Washington crossed the Delaware.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
It's like, yeah, you think they marched into battle without a couple shots of Russian vodka?
Come on, buddy.
You're not bringing out your musket without bringing out a handle.
Okay.
I'm just being honest.
But I will say, no, they used to have these things.
Then it started when you bullying.
And they would have these guys.
They started out with a very masculine approach to it.
We'd have it at this public school in LA.
They'd be like, all I can think of is Rex from Napoleon Dynamite.
I'm from the Octagon.
It'd be like a guy everyone can respect.
The girls see his muscles.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
Everyone, so like, this is how they psyoped us.
And it'd be like, he'd come out and be like, I'm a six heavyweight champion.
I like, I did, I did, I did a, what's he would be like, I literally did entertainment wrestling in the WWE.
I did professional wrestling.
I'm a six-time combat soldier that I fought in Kosovo.
You know who he's talking about.
He goes, and guess what?
You see me here today?
And like a picture would come on the screen in 480p.
And it's like, the person's like trying to get it to work, the kid, the student.
And he was like, that was me.
And it's like, like a picture of like a little weak kid that's like got glasses.
And he's like, when you say that the greatest fight that I ever had was in the ring, whether it was on the field or even when I had to make the decision to bomb innocent civilians for the globalist American empire, the biggest battle I had was accepting who I really was.
These muscles today.
And they would give you this great speech, like, hell yeah.
Doug, one day I'm not going to grow up to, I'm going to grow up to fight in Kosovo and I'm going to be in the WWE.
If we just stop making fun of people, all the nerds are going to become wrestlers.
And that was what it was sold as was like bullying.
Then you don't realize the whole time you grow up and you're like, oh, shit.
He always wants he's epic is because he got bullied into not being a bitch.
So like, he's like, people, he's like, dude, I'm a loser.
Something's wrong with me.
I need to not be this.
And now the world is like, you used to be, you were bullied.
And then you would tell the story.
Look, I was bullied and I took those weak things, my speech impediment, my mental illness, and I brought it for the good.
I make money off the things that you told me were going to take me down.
I became something better than what you could have ever imagined.
And now the notion is instead of being bullied, like overcome bullying and overcome your insecurities by accepting your mental illness, by just being out there.
You're not gay.
chrissie mayr
Overcoming adversity, we're staying in the university.
elijah schaffer
That's why people make fun of you.
Accept it.
Make it your identity.
john doyle
It's so spiritually feminine too.
Like the bullying that we had in my school, because of all the anti-bullying campaigns, because it's never going to go away, but it transitions from like a more traditional masculine bullying to much more feminine bullying.
So like this was always much more disturbing to me too.
Like allegedly, we would bully kids back in the day, you know, the way the boys do.
unidentified
No, no, no, no.
john doyle
When you get to high school, the way that these people would like bully other people was by like ironically like hyping them up.
So, like, there would be a kid who was like, there'd be a kid who was like weird, who, like, there was this one kid, and he would only walk backwards, and he thought that water was poison.
It was kind of base, and so he'd only drink Gatorade.
And so, people like that.
elijah schaffer
People said they were cold-blooded and wore X two sweaters a day.
And I thought maybe it was true.
john doyle
Maybe like 20 years ago, that kid would get shoved into a locker once every two weeks.
But what these kids are doing now, and that was always like the mean kids doing that.
Everyone knew, oh, those guys are just dicks.
These are like the popular kids now, but maybe we're always the mean kids.
And they're like hyping this kid, yo, what's up, Benji?
Oh my God, I love this other kid who used to just walk around with a beach ball.
He did, that was just his thing.
He thought beach balls looked cool.
chrissie mayr
Ready for summer.
Yeah.
john doyle
And people would, oh, that's so cool, bro.
Look, and like pretending to be his friend.
unidentified
And it's like, dude, that's like, that's an ironic friendship.
elijah schaffer
The you're so hot to the girl that I hate.
Oh my God, you're so cute.
You're so cute.
You are so cute.
It's the same thing.
john doyle
Yeah.
Like typically when bullying happens, it's because you're doing something that you deserve to be bullied for, frankly.
And like, it's really good to get knocked on your ass at least once in your life because it shows you like you're actually not that special.
You're not that fragile too, which is important to know.
But I don't think that all these journalists can actually hold these opinions of like, oh, you need to pay $5 for gas for democracy.
If they hadn't like gotten knocked on their ass once, like they would not have that opinion.
Like, I remember I was in the sandbox one time and I'll never forget this at my swim club.
And there was this kid and he was building, he's building a fucking igloo.
Okay.
It was a half sphere, perfect.
And I'm looking at it and I'm like, that's a nice igloo.
He's like, it's not an igloo.
And I'm like, bud, it's like a perfect half circle.
Like it's an igloo.
No, it's not.
I was like, okay, you're the boss.
And then he put like a little stick in it to make a flag at the top of the igloo.
And I poked the stick and it caused the stick to frack.
And so it made this little like hairline fracture in the perfectly like spherical and round.
And then I looked up and he had reached behind him and grabbed a tree branch, like a legitimate tree branch.
And he smacked me in the head with it.
And this kid, I was like maybe like five.
This kid was like nine.
Kind of mean, you know, but at the same time, it's like that probably stuck with me a little bit.
chrissie mayr
Bullying, it's about establishing a common sort of social contract.
Like it's, we're all in an understanding that we behave in a certain way, we don't behave in certain ways.
And that actually creates community and unity.
And now we just have so many individuals off in their little subgroups.
john doyle
Yeah.
chrissie mayr
And that's what makes them special.
john doyle
I stepped on the snake.
I violated the NAP.
I destroyed it.
elijah schaffer
I called a black guy a cotton picker in an argument and got knocked out and hospitalized against a locker.
And he quickly, he fucked around and found out.
And that's all I'm going to say.
I don't think he ever called a black person a cotton picker to their face ever again.
Even in an argument, it didn't end well for him.
Now, of course, I will say this.
No, true.
It's like I've, I honestly have my own opinions about people in the world because I've experienced diversity more than anyone has.
I'm a huge experiential person.
I have lived in it and it doesn't work.
Okay.
Like it literally doesn't work.
And I've lived just because go to LA.
Is it working?
No, it's not.
It's really not.
But there's rich people.
There's really poor people.
And we have McDonald's, but it's also bad.
But I'll say the bullying I think is really helpful too for people because that's the problem.
And this is what I've noticed is like even why Gen Z and millennials want raises fast, they want promotions fast.
The idea of a lack of adversity and thinking that adversity is bad is like that everything's about good or bad, but not what is could be good for you in a bad situation.
Like bad things can be good, even if they don't feel good.
Like God gives us, God allows us to have trials.
It literally says it's for the testing of our faith.
Because if you like, you're like, oh, I'm in this season where I feel far from God and I don't know how to follow God and I'm messing up.
And I, maybe you're watching this.
You're like, I'm just really sinning a lot.
And I'm really like, but I know the Bible and I'm far from God.
Like, what's going on?
You might be in a place of trial, of adversity, where you're really seeing that you do believe in God, but like to the point to where you are being tested, you feel far.
And it could be God allowing you to experience and see really what your life is when you're in control.
You'd be struggling with pride, with issues.
And God's like, you want to take control of your life?
Then watch what happens when I give you that room to take control of your life.
Now you have anxiety, you're depressed, you have the stuff that goes with it.
Why is everyone on anxiety pills today?
It's because they aren't living in the way God would design, designed them to live, so they're never satisfied and they're unhappy.
Why women, of all people, take the most anxiety pills of anyone?
It's because they have made their purpose working when their purpose was in the home, and you'll never be fully satisfied working.
And your purpose wasn't supposed to be work.
You're supposed to be building a home and a family and your marriage and your life.
That's different.
Men work was our purpose.
So we don't get anxiety.
We have angst or nerve because we had know that we might kill each other with competition.
But at the same time, it's different.
And I just think like the bullying thing is what it is.
People are like, what do you mean I got to earn?
I got to fight my way up the ladder.
I've got to earn and deserve respect.
Now respect is just given, not earned.
And we're all supposed to respect every lifestyle, every person, everyone's equal, every culture is the same.
Genders have equity.
All races have the same outcome.
And of course, diddly-doo dot a, we are all amazing.
And the only thing that's stopping us from finally reaching utopia at the moment, it was people not wearing masks, and now it's Putin.
chrissie mayr
Right.
And you're building a muscle.
It's like showing up to a gym, be like, well, you're not, of course, it's you have to go through something that's hard to build muscle.
And that's what life is.
elijah schaffer
Do you know?
Wait, I think, um, Joe, what I don't know if correct me the percentage.
Do you know how?
Okay, so do you know how many men are my height or taller?
unidentified
How many men are your height or your height or taller?
elijah schaffer
Like percentage-wise in the United States.
chrissie mayr
Maybe 10, 15.
Maybe literally the NBA.
elijah schaffer
It's like 6%.
chrissie mayr
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
So it's like 6%.
We live in an unlike we get at the internet.
unidentified
It's always like, I only date guys that are above like six foot or whatever.
elijah schaffer
It's like, you date six out of 100 guys.
Yeah.
No, you don't.
Also, I think we found out last night the amount of guys that can pump on the bench, 225, even for one rep. On average or among guys who work out men over 18, I think between like 18 to 49, the average, like where like you're in a sort of like a good physical shape that don't work out.
How many men in the country could one rep, just one, 225, two plates, which like standard means you're in the good physical fitness?
john doyle
Five percent.
elijah schaffer
Is that right, Joe?
Five percent?
Yeah, five percent.
john doyle
I'm a genius.
See, this is why I don't have to be six feet tall.
Women like my autistic fact.
elijah schaffer
Well, like, and so it's like people are like, I want a tall, buff guy.
That's like 2% of the population.
You better be a girl that's worth 2%.
john doyle
Yeah, and then, oh, and they're always so mediocre.
It's always the girls with the highest standard.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, that's what I mean.
It's always the fat chicks.
It's like Amy Schute.
chrissie mayr
Too much confidence.
These girls out here have too much confidence.
john doyle
You know what it is, too?
It's because they recognize what they are attracted to in men, which is like irrational self-confidence.
And because they're like so internalized or they have so much internalized feminism, instead of like doing what is attractive to men, they just try to emulate the same way they've tried to emulate, you know, masculine drive and ambition.
They try to emulate that.
So like you've got these girl bosses who are like six is on a good day and they're just like, I mean, he's going to stick to his tongue.
It's like, you're going to be alone.
And good luck.
elijah schaffer
But that's what I meant.
It's like, it's like, we live in an unreasonable world where it's like, and also, and what's the problem is that algorithms reinforce that, like in TikTok.
Like, like, I see that a lot of young guys that are in the fitness community end up with a lot of body dysmorphia.
As we saw, you're going to say gay.
unidentified
Maybe.
elijah schaffer
It's like you start out, you start out working out so that you can get girls, and your timeline's just a bunch of other guys that are ripped shirtless and everyone compliment each other.
Nice physique, man.
Good form.
You got it, bro.
It's like, and the girls don't care.
No, but I meant like, legitimately speaking, just with that, is like people are like, man, that I want to look like that.
Like, bro, you're literally looking at 0.4% of the male population.
You're looking at peak male fitness, peak male physique, which some people would say would be John Doyle and myself shirtless, which is true.
john doyle
Literally the case.
elijah schaffer
But, but I will say, it's like, it's like, you know, we get reinforced.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, hey, what a healthy body looks like.
There's either just ugly, fat SJWs, and you go to the fitness talk, and it's like, it's like literally Aryan Chad Warriors, just like all over it.
And so it's like, you think you have this option of like, I get from being a fat, ugly libtard to being something like this.
And then you realize the adversity, the time, the force, the energy, the money, the tenacity, the mental fortitude it would take to go from a fat, ugly slut into one of these fitness girls that come from wealth that have even some surgeries, et cetera, is extensible.
It's so large, but you never learn that because algorithms show you both sides only, nothing in between, because no one wants to show the process.
Nobody puts up a half-assed thing on the internet.
Everything is predetermined, calculated, unless it's slightly offensive, which we know is the best naturally without any preparation ever.
You just end up in this world where it's like, we are where we are because people are just like, you know, this is people are like, I just want the war in Ukraine to end.
You think I'm going to be like, all right, I'll go home.
Round them up.
Round them up.
Like, it's like, no, what do you mean it's just going to end?
unidentified
You mean no?
elijah schaffer
Do you want them to come to terms to where they create a structure of stability in the area?
That shit doesn't end tomorrow.
john doyle
Well, Stephanie from HR thinks that everyone should just go home and be nice and take a nap.
So I don't know if Putin took that into account.
elijah schaffer
I can't believe that.
I'm really proud of you for making it through this episode.
I know you're tired today.
unidentified
You know what?
chrissie mayr
What about me?
You proud of me?
john doyle
The thing is, Job, but you got here late.
You got here late.
chrissie mayr
I drove here from Austin.
john doyle
Yeah, but you got here late.
You showed up after.
Didn't you also eat human shit?
unidentified
Wasn't that another thing that you told me to do this?
elijah schaffer
As if we were involved in the planning of this.
john doyle
Why would you ever listen to me about anything?
I'm not very intelligent.
I'm just.
elijah schaffer
Literally, I am actually retarded and we are making retard hats.
If you made it this far in the podcast, we're making re- I just at the point, I'm just wearing a hat that says retard on it because I just, it's just true.
It's just, it's just, I just let, yeah, don't blame me for anything.
It's all, it's all a joke and it's all parody and it's uh and I'm a retard.
john doyle
Yeah, life hack.
Um, if you wear a hat in the airports and on airplanes that says, please be patient, I have autism.
unidentified
That's great.
john doyle
You don't have to wear a face mask.
chrissie mayr
That's awesome.
That should be your merch.
elijah schaffer
Did you take my hat?
john doyle
I stole it straight up.
Yeah.
Because it is so good.
elijah schaffer
Yeah.
Please be patient.
I have autism is now a hat John has.
And we don't even know if John actually has autism, but it makes sense to say it because it's a good cop.
It's a good cope.
And it's also, for some reason, as we've talked about, become a positive word.
chrissie mayr
It's trendy now.
unidentified
Yeah.
elijah schaffer
It's like, it's just a weird world where it's like people are boasting.
Like I meet young guys now and then they're always like, yeah, well, I have autism.
And I'm always like, that's not something you should start a conversation out if you're asking for a job.
But I also want to say, again, as we've said, there's like autism is one of those rare things like alcoholism that could have a positive outlook.
Like it's like, wow, the most accomplished singer ever.
And she's like, I had nerves and I just was smashed drunk on the stage every day and I became the most prolific recording artist in history.
Great.
Most people that are smashed drunk every day don't become the most prolific recording artist in history.
They have cirrhosis.
So that's like the most award they get.
Autism, for the most part, is not going to be that helpful in your social life, even if you have a good job.
Look at Elon Musk.
He's divorced many times.
And I have not met anyone with a decent amount of autism that I've worked with a lot of people that ever have an ability to keep one girl for the rest of their life.
They're always having to jump around in the compartmentalize things.
It's crazy.
But that's not you because you're the first one.
You're the trad warrior.
You will survive the world.
You will repopulate the world if you have to.
john doyle
I'm just waiting.
unidentified
Yeah.
john doyle
I'm waiting to meet my epic and based trad wife.
chrissie mayr
You're so young still, though.
You've got another 10 years of dicking around.
unidentified
Well, I don't know about all that, but I just micro dicking around.
chrissie mayr
Right.
Micro, micro penising around.
john doyle
I just, I don't know.
I get baby fever like frequently.
chrissie mayr
When?
john doyle
Oh, like last night or two nights ago, maybe I saw a photo.
I think it was a comic strip actually.
And it showed like a mom and a dad taking like a baby for a walk.
And the dad was like holding the baby and he like saw, you know, flash before his eyes, like, you know, the baby stops walking or walks by herself.
And then pretty soon she's walking to the bus stop and down.
I was like going through.
And I was like, man, I want kids so bad.
That's so sweet.
elijah schaffer
To be completely honest, I have that too.
And then I'm like, and then like, I just have, I'm living my life and I'm like, I'm barely functioning.
But also, so it's like, I want a baby, but then I'm like, am I able to be a kid?
It's like you step it up.
chrissie mayr
Kids like take you where you're at.
elijah schaffer
Maybe that's what I'm missing.
Maybe I'm missing kids.
Maybe that's what I'm missing.
Maybe any fulfill your baby fever.
Kind of like a surrogate.
john doyle
No, I think that there's something the same way that worked out.
When you, when, as a man, when you like move out and you're independent, something psychologically just like activates.
And I think the same thing when you get married and when you have more people who are reliant upon you for like sustainability, something just happens and you evolve and you step it up.
And yeah, I think that I'm going to, I'm just going to keep, you know, navigating.
And the second I meet a girl who's like, you know, she's the one, I'm just going to, maybe I'll baby trap her.
chrissie mayr
And then poke holes in your own condom, you know?
john doyle
Right, right.
chrissie mayr
Mix it up.
john doyle
We don't, that's satanic.
Not that we're indulging in anything like that.
However, we still say you're not going to be able to do it.
chrissie mayr
Condoms are satanic.
john doyle
Oh, yeah.
I think that's true.
chrissie mayr
Really?
elijah schaffer
I fully disagree with condoms.
I'm going to totally condom pilled.
chrissie mayr
I've married.
elijah schaffer
No, I've never used condoms in my life.
Like, I've just, you just was like, and he's never done anything wrong.
chrissie mayr
And I've never done that.
elijah schaffer
I've never sinned.
But I will say this.
Would you, oh, well, you're the wrong person to ask.
I was like, would you wear a raincoat in the shower?
Defeats the purpose.
chrissie mayr
Kind of would.
elijah schaffer
Defeats the purpose.
unidentified
Oh.
john doyle
Let me wrap my head around that one.
chrissie mayr
A raincoat in the shower.
elijah schaffer
Would you wear a raincoat in the shower?
Defeats the purpose.
john doyle
No.
elijah schaffer
Exactly.
Why are you going to put a protective barrier to block you from the very water you want hitting your skin?
The purpose is you want the experience and you want the heat and the temperature and you want it to be wet in the shower and you're not trying to protect yourself.
There are moments for protection and it is not when you're in the shower.
There are times to bear it all for Christ.
john doyle
I want to go home.
elijah schaffer
Okay.
john doyle
Mom, I'm uncomfortable talking about college.
chrissie mayr
I'm going to bear it all for Christmas.
elijah schaffer
Okay.
On a side note, Chrissy, you had some comedy shows that are coming up over the next week.
It was always hard for me to address a woman and then use the phrase comedy.
john doyle
Yeah.
chrissie mayr
Why?
elijah schaffer
In the same sentence.
chrissie mayr
Oh, because you haven't seen that many female comics that you like.
Because you're not probably not that big of a comedy fan.
elijah schaffer
I'm totally joking.
I actually, because I know that's misogynist.
It's a misogynist.
It's more just because I don't know what women are doing at the club.
It's like, but I'm going to say, unless, of course, you're showing.
chrissie mayr
Hooking up with fans.
elijah schaffer
No, I'm just kidding.
But you know, you, I've been to your shows.
Amazing.
I love your shows.
They're actually incredible.
We love having you on the show always and forever.
Even when, you know, I would say you could work on that bit that you planned before the show.
What did you rate her bit?
chrissie mayr
The credit thing?
Well, we did it.
unidentified
It was an awkward situation all around.
elijah schaffer
It's just, would you rate?
john doyle
What would you rate it?
I thought we were cutting that apart because.
elijah schaffer
No, wait, it wasn't in the show.
john doyle
Oh.
elijah schaffer
We're going to edit after the show's done.
john doyle
We're on so many layers of irony here.
10 out of 10.
8 out of 8, mate.
unidentified
Oh, good.
elijah schaffer
No, but you do have these shows.
I'm going to read them off just so you guys know.
If you're in these states, honestly, go see her.
Go support her.
She actually is amazing.
She's such a good sport.
She is at Good Nights on 317 in Raleigh, North Carolina.
Wormhole 319, Savannah, Georgia.
Side splitters 320 in Tampa, Florida.
And her album live from January 6th on 315 iTunes and Amazon.
What is that?
chrissie mayr
Yes.
It's my debut stand-up comedy album.
Jokes about January 6th, the Biden administration, the lockdowns.
A lot of jokes just over the last 10 years from doing stand-up.
And so, yeah, I'm so excited for you guys to hear this album.
It's going to be fucking awesome.
We want to get it to number one.
So all the woke comics get upset.
elijah schaffer
And John, anything new coming out?
You have anything to promote, merch?
Anything like that?
john doyle
Yeah, you know, at some point, I think I'll put on my Russia Ukraine video.
chrissie mayr
Also, catch me on Friday Night Tights, Fridays at 4:30 p.m. Eastern.
elijah schaffer
Catch me on Slim of the Offensive.
Catch me on the show.
Just so you guys know, okay, because if you made it this far in the podcast, that means you like the show, hopefully.
If you don't like the show and you make it this far, I always just tell you, develop yourself, character development, figure out something that you do like, something that you're interested in.
Obviously, we're going through some major changes here, not only with the crew.
People are training.
We're getting back on board.
We have a lot of stuff planned for the future, and not in any bad way, but we're going to keep moving things in a positive direction.
Give us some patience, please, as we, you know, as well, I mean, what did I expect from a diversity hire?
john doyle
But I this is what, I mean, this is what I always tell my audience, and I think that you can probably echo the sentiment as well.
Please be patient.
I have autism, okay?
This is hard for me.
I'm very fixated on certain things, and sometimes it's not done correctly, and it makes me upset.
And then my mom has to come pick me up.
elijah schaffer
Well, yeah, I was going to say, is that we are developing things.
We have a lot of things in the move as well.
We got someone mystery behind the computer switching right now.
We'll figure out.
We also have mystery.
We have a couple mystery people behind the screen as well that are here to help out and take things to the next level.
But of course, like I have to move these people to Texas and stuff.
So like there's a lot of interesting parts that have put this into play.
Luckily, it's not like we have much to live up to at the show while we're like understaffed, underhanded.
There's nothing really living.
I mean, with this show, it's like, it's not like we have to, there's no shoes to fill.
In fact, it's like we're like in clogs to fill.
You know what I mean?
Not much.
john doyle
Maybe we will become the top 16.
chrissie mayr
You're in crocs.
elijah schaffer
No, but we're going to go in some pretty positive directions.
You know, HIV positive, not really, but of course the positive.
Make sure you leave a review for the show.
It's free.
It doesn't cost you anything.
And it really helps us out.
We got one review from Best Base Show on Blaze TV who said, this is by far my favorite show to hear watch in a world full of truly demonic powers and people.
The humor that brings is so much needed.
Even today, we were a little bit more serious today.
john doyle
Very serious show for very serious people.
elijah schaffer
Very serious network.
Great, honest, awesome hosts and informative guests.
It's the whole package.
Love y'all and God bless.
Remember, even if the whole package is a half a package or a quarter of a package, it's the thought that counts.
And then a great show with Dad said.
Good guests.
Big shout out to LD.
We always love him on.
Amazing person.
Absolutely incredible individual.
We love it.
And shout out to John Doyle's mom.
If she's watching, a huge shout out to you.
We love you.
You're beautiful.
You're lovely.
And we appreciate you so much.
And happy birthday again for your next one.
Anyway, make sure you sign up blazetv.com slash Elijah for $10 off a Blaze TV subscription.
They help us fight censorship directly by joining the team.
And there's two ways you can become an official SOB that is a slightly offensive backer.
Go to BlazeTV.com slash Elijah right now.
Use my promo code Elijah.
Don't sign up with the other hosts.
They don't need you.
I know I'm not technically allowed to say that anymore, but I'm just like, don't sign up.
There's hosts that are more successful than us.
Why are you giving them more money?
They're fine.
Okay.
They're fine.
Chrissy knows this.
I put you, I didn't even, what airline did we put you in to get here?
I mean, it was like.
chrissie mayr
I booked my own flight.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, there you go.
There you go.
chrissie mayr
I have a strong, independent woman.
elijah schaffer
Well, I think last time we just like put you in a box and shipped you in like a FedEx carrier.
And you were like, this is.
chrissie mayr
And there weren't enough breathing holes.
unidentified
Yeah, you're taking it.
chrissie mayr
And I think it's permanently damaged right now.
elijah schaffer
You took three days to revive you.
So I thought, you know, we need some help.
Go to BlazeTV.com slash Elijah and help us continue to upgrade our ability to buy a plane ticket for somebody.
And also go to t.me slash slightly offensive.
Don't forget to support the news show.
You are here whenever you can.
Have a great rest of the week.
John needs to go home and take a nap.
Chrissy needs to get ready for the show.
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