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Jan. 9, 2019 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
04:35
Don't Mess With This Kid

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Participants
Appearances
e
elijah schaffer
01:22
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Speaker Time Text
unidentified
I don't hate liberals.
I feel sad for them that they're mentally challenged.
I'm Chandler Crump and you're watching Slightly Offensive on Excluded Media.
elijah schaffer
To the nation that is divided over left and right, how do we all get along?
unidentified
You understand, but you don't hate, really.
That's all it takes.
Because not everyone's going to think the same, and that's exactly what I'm against.
I'm against groupthink.
People have to understand that you can't hate each other for different views.
elijah schaffer
What grade are you in?
unidentified
I'm in eighth grade.
elijah schaffer
All right, eighth grade.
You have a girlfriend?
unidentified
No.
elijah schaffer
Not yet?
unidentified
No.
elijah schaffer
Are you waiting to have a girlfriend?
unidentified
Sure, I guess.
When's the good age to get a girlfriend?
16, maybe.
elijah schaffer
16 or 20.
unidentified
20.
elijah schaffer
Alright, when you're 16, when you're 16, have you thought about the politics of whether you want a conservative girl or a liberal girl?
unidentified
It's not really about that.
It's more about being tolerant and understanding your partner and understanding that they maybe think differently than you, but that's okay.
And you guys can talk, but it shouldn't turn into an argument based on that.
And if it does, it shouldn't be a toxic one.
It should be a constructive one.
You guys should learn from each other, understand each other, and not fight toxically with each other.
It should be...
elijah schaffer
You're going to save marriages.
This man is the next Dr. Phil.
He's literally saving marriages one at a time.
If you can give advice to married people who are having trouble in their marriage, what is your advice?
unidentified
Talk, but not with slime.
Think.
elijah schaffer
With slime.
unidentified
But not with malice.
Slime, not with poison.
Talk, but not with poison.
Think, but not with malice.
elijah schaffer
Are you going to run for the presidency?
unidentified
I sure hope so one day.
elijah schaffer
This is pretty, dude.
You're smarter than me.
unidentified
They call me President Crump at my school.
elijah schaffer
Really?
unidentified
Yes.
elijah schaffer
Do you troll people?
unidentified
Oh, all the time.
I troll my liberal teachers.
They're so funny.
They try to tell me about a party switch, and because I'm worried that my liberal teachers are going to try to teach my classmates false fallacies.
And so I fight back.
I don't be respectful because I am her student and she went through years of college.
Unfortunately, it doesn't really seem like she learned anything.
But despite that, I definitely try to make sure that my student, my, not my students, my classmates aren't indoctrinated by this teacher.
So I fight back against what she says sometimes, like a party switch or that.
elijah schaffer
What do you know about the party switch?
unidentified
I know that it didn't happen.
elijah schaffer
What did she say happened?
unidentified
She said that in the 60s, the ideologies and the parties swapped.
elijah schaffer
Right.
unidentified
Swapped.
elijah schaffer
It sounds almost like someone complaining in a marriage saying, it's her fault.
You know, it's like, she's the one who's the problem.
But it's like, maybe if the Democrats looked in the mirror, they would see that they just went from physical slavery to mental slavery.
unidentified
Exactly.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Because at first, they were whipping you for not getting the cotton.
Now they're whipping you for not being a liberal.
That's exactly what they're doing.
They call you a coon.
They call you a coconut.
They call you an Oreo because you think differently than how they want you to think.
They call me white, which is a shame.
elijah schaffer
They tell me I sold out to the whites.
Do they ever tell you that too?
unidentified
Wait, what?
elijah schaffer
They tell me I sold out to the whites.
I'm a rare person of color.
We actually politically correctly call ourselves POX.
unidentified
What?
elijah schaffer
POC, bro.
unidentified
P-O-C.
I don't like that.
elijah schaffer
Oh, dude, it doesn't matter what you don't like, man.
unidentified
Remember, it's because I'm a-cause I'm a conservative.
They don't care what I say, but I don't like it.
elijah schaffer
Let white people tell you as a black person what you can think.
unidentified
Exactly.
elijah schaffer
That's what they do, legitimately, and it's not even doing it.
And you know that in eighth grade.
unidentified
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
elijah schaffer
Do you have any advice for other eighth graders who're not meme gods yet?
They haven't figured out how to be master level trolls.
They don't know what's going on.
They're not as wise as you.
Wake up, America.
Tell them right now.
unidentified
All right.
So what you do is you ignore what the people tell you.
What you do is you get on your phone, you get on your fight.
Everybody, everybody has one of these these days.
You get on your phone, you get on your computer, you get on your Apple Watch, and you look up and you do the research yourself.
And when you do the research and you find these things, you will see the truth and you will see the things that the Democrat Party has done.
You will see the thing that leftists do.
They want socialism.
They want everybody to starve on the streets because they're too lazy to do the work themselves.
Okay, so when you do this and you do the research, you'll come to find that things aren't what they seem.
Things aren't what they tell you in school, and the things they tell you in school usually just aren't correct.
You'll understand these things, and you'll become like me.
You'll think right.
and you'll want to help others, and that's what you have to do.
You have to go to the other people, and you know, once you're like me, once you're conservative or just not liberal anymore, once you can finally think, you find other people and you do the same thing.
And if you do this, it'll spread like a bug.
It'll spread like a virus, but it's a good virus.
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