Well, I was about 23, 24 years old when I found out that I was pregnant.
I was in college, didn't have a job, and my boyfriend at the time, he was just constantly cheating on me.
It was a very toxic relationship.
And I came across my sister, which she was venting to me about her problems herself.
And then eventually, she I broke down to her and I started crying and I told her that I was pregnant.
Her first response was, get an abortion.
I was already like, what did you say?
That's like three months?
Three months?
A little, yeah, a little bit past three months, I believe.
So I was.
And then I went in.
I was by myself.
My mother dropped me off and no one was with me.
And I just felt very like, I felt ashamed and confused what I was doing.
But then I felt like it was already too late to come back to.
I felt like it was too late to just be like, no, I'm not going to make this decision already because I had already paid and I was already inside of the clinic and they were giving me my measurements and they did the ultrasound and everything like that.
So the doctors, when I went into the surgery, the doctors, they put IV in me and then I kind of started freaking out at that point.
But then by that time I blacked out.
I woke up.
I want to say I woke up like seconds after the surgery because the nurses were like, whoa, she woke up.
She woke up really fast.
And I woke up.
I wanted to leave and I felt empty.
I wanted the baby back in my stomach.
Like I didn't realize how much I was going to miss the feeling of being a mother at that point.
And one thing that I regret is like listening to people that just told me, oh, get an abortion.
You know, like looking back at it, one thing that I would encourage a lot of young ladies and just anyone out there that is questioning their pregnancy, don't go based off of the decision of other people.
Go based off of your decision.
And on top of that, like just be silent with the word of God.
Like always try to keep that in mind because a lot you get distracted with so many things in your life and then the enemy just brings all these different situations to your path and makes you think, well, I shouldn't have the baby because this is happening or my mom said no or my mom said I couldn't, I won't be able to do it.
And you just get all these different situations that come to you and you think it's easier to go that route instead of going the route that was in your heart.
So can you just briefly explain the situation?
I found out I was pregnant when I was 20 years old at that time.
My boyfriend, he was 23, so he was a little bit older than me.
I was very young.
I was scared.
I knew that I couldn't tell my family just because I was scared of what they would say.
In my head, I knew that there was this baby was not an option.
I decided on an abortion.
There was no changing my mind.
I made the appointment.
I did go to Planned Parenthood.
I think I paid $400 or more.
I'm not too sure.
It was a while ago.
I think I was very early on.
I want to say maybe like five weeks, six weeks.
So I found out pretty early.
So I had an option of actually doing the pill procedure.
One pill I would take there, which I took.
I swallowed it with water.
And what was kind of odd is that they made me stick out my tongue to make sure that I swallowed that pill.
So they didn't let me leave until they confirmed that I actually swallowed the first pill.
Eight hours later, I took the second pill.
And I would say within an hour of taking that second pill was when I started having very severe cramps.
I was having bad diarrhea, heavy vaginal bleeding, heavy blood clots.
It was very, very painful.
And none of this was really explained to me.
I didn't expect this to happen.
I wasn't even sure if what was happening was what was meant to happen.
I was scared.
My boyfriend, he didn't know what to do.
I was on my hands and knees hunched over and he was rubbing my back.
I was crying.
He was crying.
It was just a very, very, very tragic moment.
And it was at that point where I knew that I basically had killed my baby.
I chose to take my baby's life just because I was so scared of what my family would think or what my friends would say or how I would be looked at or how I would be judged.
Well, years passed and then with all this hidden still inside, I started going out.
I started drinking.
I started partying.
And one night, it was just overwhelming.
I don't know that feeling, the abortion, the horrific memories just kept coming to mind that night.
And my sister was there and I broke down crying to her.
And that's the moment when I finally told one person that I had an abortion years ago.
So my thing that I could tell you guys is don't be afraid.
If you have a close friend, your family members, your mom, your dad, your aunt, grandma, don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid because you'll be surprised at their reaction.
