Tim dives into a reporter’s bad trip, pointing at the void, a potential studio merger, dodging debt together and the ultimate team builder.American Royalty Tour🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/SPONSORS:Morgan & Morgan:For more information go to forthepeople.com/timHelix SleepGo to HelixSleep.com/TimD for 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows with code HELIXPARTNER20▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo...Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillonListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo...#TheTimDillonShowMerch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Santa's Tim Dillon Show Tickets00:14:48
Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas and happy new year from Santa Claus.
And what's a great present for everybody in the family is the tickets to a Tim Dylan show, maybe in Brea, California, Columbus, Ohio, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C., Northfield, Ohio, San Antonio, Texas, Dallas, Texas, Atlanta, Georgia, St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, Indiana, Boston, Massachusetts, Ledyard, Connecticut, which is the Foxwoods Casino, Chicago, Illinois, Daniel Beach, Florida, Phoenix, Arizona, Atlantic City, New Jersey.
You can go to TimDylonComedy.com and see Tim Dylan live.
And he's a good man.
I'm Santa Claus.
He's never done anything wrong.
He's gotten presents from me every year.
So I'm telling you to go and see him.
This is a paid advertisement.
I'm being paid by Tim Dylan to say this.
He's a prick.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show.
It is Christmas, and we are so happy to be here for the final episode of the year.
And we are grateful.
And this will not be a good episode to listen to because you're not going to really hear anything.
And I'm not going to, you know, this is going to be very difficult for me to speak.
Although I am, I guess I'm managing it now.
I have a beard celebrating Santa Claus, celebrating old St. Nick.
Let's see how I look.
Does it look okay?
Yeah, this is good.
Your nose is kind of gone.
My nose is gone, but that's okay.
That's okay.
Santa, Santa, would Santa, if Santa were alive today, would he support what's going on in Gaza?
Or would he not?
That's the question.
But thank God he's dead.
Thank God Santa's dead, so he doesn't have to see what is happening right now in the world.
He doesn't have to face the nightmare that other people do.
Santa Claus doesn't have to wake up and read that Matthew Perry died from a ketamine overdose in his hot tub.
Santa doesn't have to read that with Miss Claus while they have breakfast.
They have, I don't know what they'd eat for breakfast, a porridge or an oatmeal, but Santa doesn't have to say, Ho, ho, ho, get me some oatmeal.
How did Matthew Perry die?
Oh, it was ketamine overdose in his hot tub, Miss Claus.
And then Miss Claus goes, Well, a lot of the elves have been going for that ketamine therapy to kind of relive their past traumas and try to get to the other side of them.
And he goes, Well, I will, that just seems like they're using drugs.
Matthew Perry died in his hot tub from ketamine.
And Santa doesn't have to live it because he's gone.
There is no Santa Claus.
And if there was, he'd be aghast at what's going on right now.
He would have assumed, much like I did, that because Matthew Perry had a drug addiction for a very long time and it ate away a lot of his liver.
I think he was doing like 46 Viking in a day.
That's what I thought it was.
I just thought it was just one of those things.
Unfortunately, it's not one of those things.
It was a ketamine overdose in his hot tub, which sucks.
Well, Vicodin, he was using Vicodin.
He was taking up to 55 Vicodin a day.
And that does a number on your liver.
That's what I thought it was, but it was an overdose of ketamine.
Ketamine is the new it drug in Hollywood, like Ozempic.
Ozempic is the shot you take to make you less fat.
Ketamine is something else.
It's a drug, which I used to do when I was doing drugs.
We called it special K.
We did it with ecstasy, which is now called Molly.
But it's a drug that is supposed to realign the pathways in your brain.
And everyone here is always doing that.
They're always realigning the pathways in their brain.
They're taking ayahuasca.
They're on ketamine all the time.
This is everyone in LA that you speak to.
They go, I have to realign my neural pathways because reality is too bleak.
That's really what it comes.
They go, I can't deal with the reality of what's going on.
I need my brain.
This is going to be tough.
The beard.
Breathing in here.
It's hard to breathe with the beard on because I have a Santa beard on.
How did I, you know, I used to do this.
You know, I was a, I was a Santa who tried to sign people up for Obamacare.
No way.
Years ago.
This is true.
I was a Santa.
Breathe under my fucking God.
I have this cold sore.
That's also why this kind of is nice to have.
I was a Santa who signed people up for Obamacare.
I would go into bad neighborhoods and I would sign poor, low-income people up for Obamacare, dressed as Santa Claus.
And it was a job that I did.
And it was a job that I did to supplement the money while I was earning money to learn how to be a stand-up comedian.
And it was not a bad gig.
It was not a great gig because you would be in bad areas and poor people are very depressing around the holidays.
It's true.
They're always getting shot or whatever.
I mean, they're depressing people over the holidays.
Holidays are really for, you know, it's really, it's better to have rich people or rich family and friends over the holidays because they, you know, holidays are for them.
You know, like the poor people are always getting shot or sick or they're working shifts and they're complaining all the time.
And that's not, you know, it's neither here nor there, but that's why the job was tough because they would always say, you know, rich people around the holidays, they're just wearing coats and going to church and having these feasts.
So when I was a Santa in a poor neighborhood and I was poor and everybody I'm talking to is poor, nobody's happy.
We're all broke.
They're asking me questions about health care.
I didn't sign up for Obama.
I don't know.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm just sitting in a truck dressed as Santa.
And they're telling me about problems that they have.
I have problems.
It wasn't a good time in my life.
But I can't even remember.
I'm like, how did I fucking do this?
With the beard, it's terrible.
It really irritates you.
At one time, and I talked about this on the pod, there was, I did it at a Spanish chicken restaurant.
I don't know where it was.
It was on Long Island.
And there was a big chicken and Santa.
They had a big chicken and everybody wanted photos with me.
Nobody wanted photos with a chicken.
The chicken was dressed like a chicken.
He was very upset about that.
He was also signing up people for Obamacare.
What the government did to get...
No, but it's all true.
What the government did to get low-income people into Obamacare was they sent out like characters, whether it was like me, a Santa, or a chicken, or like the Kool-Aid guy.
They sent them out into the streets.
I'm not even kidding.
You can look this up, and it's probably not a bad idea.
They sent like characters out into the, they sent out like SpongeBob to try to get people to sign up for Obamacare because, you know, people don't like doctors, right?
They get creeped out by doctors.
They're creeped out by people that are wearing suits.
But like if Clifford, the big red dog or SpongeBob or, you know, I don't know, Paw Patrol goes out and goes, hey, do you want health insurance?
You might be more amenable to it.
I don't know.
But that was like a strategy that they had.
Back to Matthew Perry.
I got to take this beard off.
The culture is not that bad.
I can't deal with this hurting my face to a point where I can't even, you know, I can't even deal with it.
Matthew Perry, R.I.P., very sad.
We obviously do not, we're not making light of his death, you know, but here's what we were saying about this ketamine because everybody's doing this now.
And I, you know, as somebody who is a ex-addict, I think maybe it's not a good idea.
Maybe it's not a good idea, but maybe it is.
I don't know, but a lot of people are taking ketamine under the supervision of a doctor.
They're going to a clinic.
And I don't know.
I guess this can help with PTSD, you know, for people that have come back from war.
But it seems to be abused.
People seem to be abusing it.
Like I know a lot of people who do it.
And I go, the last thing you need to do is go and get shot up with ketamine in a clinic.
You need something else.
You don't need to do ketamine in a clinic.
That's not what it's for.
Ayahuasca is not for you having a better career.
That's not what it's for.
That's not what the Incans intended.
That's not what the Mayans, whoever the, I don't even care or know.
The ancient cultures that used ayahuasca as a spiritual experience were not intending it to be used so that you could figure out how to get on Netflix.
There's no way.
There's no possible way.
That's the intention of ayahuasca.
There's no way.
There's no way that you were supposed to go into hyperspace and ask the aliens, the entities, or for career advice.
There's no way.
It's all been completely perverted by people that in this town want to just figure out how to make life more about themselves as if it's not already about them.
So they want to do they want to make it more about themselves somehow.
Somehow, some way they go, enough of life isn't about me.
Let me really focus.
Let me take three days.
Let me go to Peru.
Let me vomit.
And let me realize that all my fears are just, they're not real.
They're holding me back.
And listen, again, this would be great if the end goal wasn't to, you know, snag a roll on Ginny in Georgia.
Like, if you were really evolving as a human being, you would leave.
You would move.
You would leave.
If ayahuasca worked, you'd come back to LA.
Walk into your house, burn it down, light it on fire, and leave the state forever if ayahuasca work.
But whatever professional grade Iowa, and I don't know who these shamans are, these con artists that are calling themselves shamans.
People are drinking this stuff every three weeks.
They're on ayahuasca, and they're more fucked than they've ever been on ayahuasca.
I don't get it.
And now people are dropping dead in their hot tubs of ketamine.
Everyone's like, no, it's good.
It rewires the neural pathways in the brain.
Because it's a lot to take.
It's a lot to take when all of the big studios go, we want a future without humans.
We want a post-human future.
It's a lot to take.
People go, fuck.
I got to take some ayahuasca to handle that.
I got to take a little ketamine to handle that.
So that's what the studios did.
They just said, hey, I talked to some of these people during this strike and they were very clear about what they want.
They want a post-human future on earth.
That's all they want.
They're very clear about it.
They want a post-human future on earth.
That's what they want.
That's what they want.
They don't want human beings anymore.
And that's tough to hear because everybody's having the wrong fight.
Everybody's like, you're paying me $30.
I want 35.
It's like, no, We don't want you to exist.
We want you gone.
We want you out.
We want to do things completely AI generated.
We don't want you at all.
It's hard to hear.
It's hard to hear.
That's why everybody's got to go take ayahuasca.
They got to do ketamine.
One of these writers, a guy, the Hollywood Reporter, went to do ketamine and flipped out, which is a kind of, it's kind of a funny article.
When ketamine therapy visit goes horribly wrong.
So what this guy did, and this guy sounds kind of like a pussy who can't handle his drugs.
Now, that doesn't mean that this ketamine fad is good.
I know a lot of people that are doing this.
Ain't not a one of them in a place mentally that you should be.
Ain't not a one.
Not a one of those people walking around doing ketamine that I know and the tens of dozens of people I know doing ketamine are in a good place all the time.
I sought help from a ketamine clinic like Matthew Perry.
Odd way to start.
It's an interesting way to start the article, huh?
I sought help from a ketamine clinic like Matthew Perry.
The Danger of Bad Trips00:10:06
Things went wrong.
What happened was the scariest experience of my life.
Here's what happened.
The guy goes in the room.
You know, listen to this.
I was probably always going to get around to trying ketamine therapy, which I did two years ago.
I had read all the things how the animal tranquilizer and party drug can work wonders for treatment resistant depression.
How it can reset your brain.
There it is again.
How ketamine's unique disassociative effect allows the user to take a step back, get off their hamster wheel of ego-driven thinking.
By the way, everyone I know on this stuff, they're the most egomaniacal people I've ever met in my life.
All of the people on this, by the way, without exception.
It's completely about their, all the time about them.
Everybody I know who does this stuff never starts a sentence with any other except I, all of them.
So I love this idea that we're trying to get rid of your ego with this.
In LA, that's where we're trying to get rid of the ego.
Is that why these people were doing all of this?
Because they're ego.
They want to get rid of their ego.
No, they want to help themselves get more things somehow.
They think this leads to them getting more famous.
That's why they're doing it because they want to get out of their own way because people keep telling them, hey, man, everyone hates you.
You come into the Christmas party drunk.
You try to fuck someone's wife.
You're not focused.
You suck.
And that's why you're not succeeding.
You should do ketamine and figure out why you act like an asshole all the time.
So that's the group of people that are doing this.
The people are like, yeah, can you do ketamine and stop trying to fuck my wife all the time, you scumbag.
And they go, I got to reset my brain because everyone's telling them to, everyone's telling me I got to reset my brain.
I have to stop doing Coke and trying to rape children in L.A.
So they go, I'm going to go get ketamine treatment.
So listen, I showed up for my appointment, filled out forms, signed a waiver, and was ushered to a small dim room with blinds on the windows.
The room centerpiece was a cushy faux leather recliner that faced an LED TV that was mounted high on the wall.
Next to the chair was an IV stand.
The technician was a young woman.
Let's call her Sarah.
It was unclear if she had any medical credentials.
I'll stop you there, buddy.
She didn't, probably.
But she had this, I'm just going through the motions.
Do you want to order any appetizers?
Casualness made me think not.
So she's basically the ketamine waitress.
And so she gives him ketamine and he goes, I felt confused.
Why was I here again?
I started to feel like I wasn't entirely in the room or was I in the room?
And then I wasn't.
Did she give me the drug already?
So he flips out.
He has a bad trip, if you want to call it that.
He doesn't know what's going on.
It's unfortunate.
He gets paranoid.
The room was gone.
I was gone.
Typically, when you take a drug, you experience reality differently.
You feel good or bad.
And what you're seeing might not be accurate, but you were still you.
You know, this was different.
I was unconscious, technically, but in a void.
It's a K-hole.
It's a K-hole.
I've been in a K-hole.
I was 14.
You're in a cake.
You're doing drugs.
What's wrong with these people?
You're doing drugs.
These crazy people.
People are taking Kratom now.
Like, you put heroin in a smoothie.
It's heroin still.
You're doing drugs.
I don't understand what these people think is going to happen.
Because a nurse gives it to you.
They killed Michael Jackson.
They kill all of these people.
They will give you anything you want.
If you have the money, they'll give you anything you want.
They don't know if you need this therapy or not.
They don't care.
You're doing drugs.
And listen, I'm not a moralist in this regard.
I don't think you should hurt other people, but if you get, you know, something out of this positively, great.
But it's a drug.
People get to all kinds of altered states of consciousness, all kinds of ways.
Fasting, meditation, all kinds of other ways.
This is a shortcut.
You're pulling up in a valley in a strip mall.
You're sitting down.
You're getting an IV while you're in a lazy boy.
That's a shortcut to the altered states of reality you're trying to get to.
It's a drug.
All these people are like, I had no idea what's going on.
I just sat down and they shot me up with a drug and then I was high.
What's that?
This was such a disassociative state that I was disassociated from everything that I ever knew existed.
I was in space, but not outer space.
But what horrible, by the way, what horrible writing.
What terrible writing.
I was in space, but not outer space.
Nothing so neatly familiar as that.
There were colors.
Jungle Greens and Browns.
Well, that's what he doesn't like, the Browns.
Jungle Greens and Browns.
Hey, watch out, buddy.
I think the drug's starting to work.
You're getting a little honest.
All these jungle people.
I didn't know what was going on.
There was that horrid noise, that blurring Matrix phone.
I had taken a fistful of red pill.
It's so bad.
The writing, this article is so terrible.
It's so terrible.
I don't know if I even believe this person did it.
I don't know.
But this is what my recurring thought was, I'm dead and this is hell forever.
That's everybody that has a bad trip.
It's so cliche.
It's such a cliche.
This is like anyone who read any of those bad trip reports and wrote about them and just took this.
I was in that room for about 90 minutes, but that feels like lying because I know I was in that void for days.
See, this is like, I don't even know if this happened.
Like, I don't even know if this happened or if this person just took all these bad trip reports.
There used to be this website.
I forget what it was called, but it was a website and people used to write about their experiences with drugs.
Don't look for it.
It doesn't matter.
People will know who are listening to the show what it was.
And people would write about their experiences with DMT or other drugs.
And all of these are the most cliche things to say.
And that might be the case that they just happen so frequently to people that they all describe them the same way.
I don't know.
But this idea that ketamine therapy is going to help all the people that want it is crazy.
It's crazy.
It's not true.
It's a drug.
And it might work for you.
And listen, psychedelic therapies might be good.
There's a lot of evidence that these things are going to help, right?
Military people.
I'm not discounting all of this stuff.
I'm just going always, the only thing I can do is talk about personal experience.
All I can do is talk about the scores of people I know in Los Angeles on these things.
And people claim that there's benefits, but then I know a lot of these people and it doesn't seem that beneficial.
So then they contacted them.
They go, you need more ketamine.
You should come back.
You should come back.
And can anyone get this?
Can I just go in?
Can anyone go in and get ketamine therapy?
Do you need a note from your doctor?
Do you need a note?
No.
You don't need a note.
No, you just.
I don't even need a note.
I could just go in and get ketamine shot up.
Yeah, K-hole.
Yeah.
I could just go do that.
That's what we're at.
Nice.
Okay, sure.
I mean, listen, people are going to get mad at me for this.
When I told people not to smoke pot in their 30s, it was the most controversial episode I ever did.
People were so angry.
I said, marijuana is for your teenage years.
As you get older, you should use it very sparingly.
And people got so angry with me.
And they boiled over in a rage, as people often do when I'm right, which I usually am.
And I feel the same way about this shit.
It's like, are the people that really, are they utilizing it in an appropriate way?
Are these people, is this, is this being utilized in an appropriate way?
Or are a lot of people going in there?
With no clue what's going on and leaving with somehow less of a clue of what's going on.
And listen, I get it.
People are happy.
Ketamine, it is a therapy and some people like it, but you're going into a K-hole for drugs.
It's what it is.
You're disconnecting from the world with a drug.
Now, maybe it can treat other things and it might be able to.
But it's just funny.
There's this.
It's not like the idea per se is wrong.
It's the application of it.
The application that anyone can just walk in a room and do ketamine and then as much as they want and then follow their own plan seems stupid.
It seems pretty dumb.
Ho, ho, ho.
35% of all fatal accidents occur between 6 p.m. and midnight.
Why Ketamine Seems Stupid00:03:56
I see them all in my sleigh.
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Ho, ho, ho.
Sue, God, a good night's sleep as important as Santa Claus.
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Helix is all the beds in the North Pole are Helix, the little ones for the elves and one for me.
And even Miss Claus has one in her separate room.
She kind of occasionally goes in there.
She doesn't like my snoring, but that's the way marriages work.
You know, you have to make sacrifices over long periods of time and things like that.
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Oi, er hjemmelaget lasagne?
Ja, men det er bare Toro, altså.
Bare Toro?
Det er jo så godt så hjemmelaget, bare er mye enklere.
Fyldig saus, deilig smak, og alle liker det.
Når det er så lett å lage noe så godt, hvorfor gjør det vanskelig, he?
Toro, kjempegodt nok.
Oi, her var det jo fullstendig gork.
Ja, selvfølgelig.
Kjelliks, kjelliks!
Jeg fikk veldig lyst på...
Kjeks?
Ja, kjeks, ja.
Ja, ikke sant?
Det var veldig rart.
Det var veldig rart.
Jeg må finne fra den pakken med safari.
Fra...
Kjeks å ha, til bilturen.
Men du vet hva som ser ikke dum?
Hollywood Mergers and Chaos00:14:44
The merger of Warner Brothers and Paramount.
All of these companies in the space, a lot of them have merged.
Viacom merged with CBS.
Warner Brothers and Discovery merged.
Fox and Disney merged.
And what all these, they all want each other's assets.
They all want to make these massive conglomerates.
But what happens after they all merge is that nobody really cares and they don't make any money.
This isn't like a huge generator of cash flow when these companies merge because it's all dying industries.
I mean, the streaming stuff is one thing, and that's clearly the future, but cable's done.
People are cutting cords.
No one's going back to cable TV.
No one's ever going to go back to cable.
It's never going to go back.
All these idiots that are like, no, we're actually very, we're actually pretty sure that the people that watch will continue.
That no one's going back.
Ad spending is down.
Cords are being cut.
It's done.
Over in the casket, six feet underground, done.
It's never coming back.
Broadcast TV is D-O-A dead.
It's not coming back.
TGIF's not coming back.
Boy Meets World's not coming back.
It's over.
So all of these companies they try to bundle together all this shit.
Like it's going to be better to have a big heap of shit with some good nuggets in it, some gold nuggets in the shit that people care about.
But for the most part, it's just dead and dying, dead and dying.
No one's going back.
That's the thing.
It's like you're never going to care about the Academy Awards again, ever.
No one's going to care about the Emmy Awards again, ever.
No one's going to care.
It's no red carpet.
It's not coming back.
I don't care what it doesn't matter.
In my neighborhood in LA, these dumb little buses saw off the tops and they drive people around and point out what I don't even know what.
They try to point out celebrities or where the fuck they live.
No one cares.
The only two people that people even recognize in this town are those midgets from the real estate show selling sunset and like Cruz.
You got to be the biggest celebrity in the world or the midget from selling the real estate show on Netflix with those whores.
Those are the only people that anyone realize, like, recognizes.
I've been in restaurants where those midgets walk in and people get really excited.
They're the midgets.
That's what we got now.
It's either Margot Robbie, Tom Cruise, or the little guys from the selling the horror show, whores, selling houses, whatever it is, selling pussy and the midgets.
Those are the only people that are recognized here.
No one cares about India.
What are these people?
When I pass these buses on the way to my house, it's always a confused Indian guy sitting in the back.
He doesn't quite know what's going on.
It's like a lovely black couple from Tampa who are just, they're trying, where's Jay-Z?
We know he just bought.
Where is the Beyoncé and Jay-Z?
They pray.
They were asking the guy.
He's like, they're in Malibu.
They bought something that looks like a community college library.
Are we going to see that on the tour?
We can.
It's an hour away.
Oh, all right.
So they're slightly disappointed that it's just a young kid with his family from Belgium or something.
They don't know what the hell's going on.
They're all in jackets because it's cold and rainy here.
They were sold this lie, this bill of goods, that it's like pretty and it's always beautiful and sunny.
And none of them really know what they're doing there.
They're all confused.
And they just point, they point it.
You can't see any of the houses.
They point into this tanya.
They go, and they just point into this void.
It's actually very kind of poetic and appropriate.
They point into a void.
Like in New York, when I was a tour guide, we pointed a building, Chrysler Building.
This is where they did, hey, ground zero, where they did the thing.
We always had an exact point.
In LA, you just point to a void, a big canyon, where there's just big mansions all around and you go, Mark Wahlberg.
And then the Indian guy goes, who died the badger?
You go, Mark Wahlberg.
Oh, yes, yes, Mark Wahlberg.
And then he turns around to his friend.
They nod, but there's nothing left.
There's nothing to see.
So all of these mergers, at the end of the day, they will not stem the tide of the inevitable destruction of the entire business.
The entire business is over.
Sorry to my agents and managers who are lovely people, but the entire business is going to end.
Maybe not tomorrow, but it is already over.
It is already dead.
Someone made a good point the other day.
Aquafina just doesn't have a black scent anymore.
We all knew she was a rapper.
Aquafina had a black scent.
Go see that Asian movie, the rich Asian people, whatever that crazy rich Asians.
It was lovely.
I enjoyed it.
People didn't like it, but I liked it.
The black scent is so severe in crazy rich Asians that even a man such as myself who does not get offended at such things was like, oh my God.
Like there's a scene where she's like, bitches.
It's so laid on, so thick.
But now she's just like, hello, I am Aquafina.
And she doesn't have a black scent.
And we all supposed to forget that she had a black scent.
This is why Hollywood doesn't work anymore.
I'm not going to live in a post-Aquafina black scent world.
That's not going to happen.
It's not going to happen.
I won't do it.
I refuse to do it.
I will not think of Aquafina as someone that speaks normally.
Her whole thing was being like, and now we just pretend it doesn't, we pretend that it never happened.
It's not coming back.
So they can merge all of these things.
And it's Big Daddy Zaz, our friend David Zazlov, who just wants, and by the way, God love this man.
All he wants to do, and people get so mad at this man.
All he's trying to do is build a company so big that no one really knows why it's failing.
That's all these guys are looking to do.
They just want to build a company that's so big that no one gets, there's what they call a diffusion of responsibility.
Google that.
Diffusion of responsibility.
What that means is that no one really knows what's going on.
Nobody knows who to blame.
Diffusion of responsibility is a socio-psychological phenomenon whereby a person is less likely to take responsibility for action or inaction when other bystanders or witnesses are present.
Considered a form of attribution.
The individual assumes that others either are responsible for taking action or have already done so.
By making these companies as big as humanly possible, no one can really know why they've all failed.
It's just spiced like, you know, the Marvels failed, that movie they did, because I think people have had enough finally.
Finally, after 15 years, I think adults in our country, and maybe this is the good side of ketamine therapy, adults don't want to watch people in costumes at the moment.
At the moment, they're not going out the way they used to to see the Marvel movies.
And, you know, I mean, nobody just, nobody will tell you why it failed.
People go, well, it's COVID.
And when it was being made, we weren't really checking in on it.
And then there's the economy.
And then there's a, it's a diffusion of responsibility.
And this is what Big Daddy Zaz wants.
Let's make it so big.
Let's get Paramount, Paramount Plus, get Yellowstone.
We'll merge it with Warner Brothers.
Warner Brothers is a little bigger than Paramount, but let's smash them together.
Let's make this motherfucker.
They know the only way they're going to survive is by being too big to fail.
Because it is written in the prophecy here.
It's done.
We know that.
We know that.
And we know that the only way to fight back is to create these massive behemoths.
What did the banks do?
What did the banks do, by the way?
The banks became so big that they could do whatever they wanted.
And the government had to keep bailing them out.
And the bank, what are you going to tell Chase?
You're going to tell Chase?
They go, fuck you.
So what?
Did a little insider trading.
So what?
It doesn't matter.
Pay the deal.
Pay the fine.
They pay the fine.
Goldman Sachs and the Treasury Department is a revolving door.
They just go to Goldman, work for a little bit, make a little money, buy a couple of houses, and go to the Treasury Department and make laws that are good for Goldman Sachs.
All these other Hollywood companies are like, yeah, we get this.
We understand.
We need the government on our side to allow us to merge and create these very, very big institutions that are too big to fail.
We can kind of do whatever we want.
We tell everybody, fuck off.
Tell everybody, fuck off.
It's going to be so big.
And people are going to go like, oh, my God, a lot of what they're making is terrible.
How are they even in business?
I'm like, because they own it all.
They own it all.
They just bought the Brooklyn Bridge.
They're going to own everything.
NBC Universal owns theme parks, television stations, stream, a movie studio.
You know they're.
They make money all over the place and they're not.
They're not relying on anyone.
Stream OF RED, they don't care if you don't watch the thing, they don't care.
They have theme parks making money which will allow them to indulge this creepy obsession they have with social justice.
They'll be able to do Emmett Till On Ice.
You know it'll just be, that's what they'll be able to do and everyone will go.
Well, that doesn't seem fun.
Who's going to see Emmett Till On Ice?
That seems odd.
That's not holiday, that's not at all.
That's not a holiday.
Escapades, you go.
No, that's important.
That's important.
And the reason that they're able to do Emmet Till On Ice the, the whole story is because the company is so fucking big that they'll put out a Yellowstone every now and then or they'll buy uh, something else.
So that's where it's at here, everybody.
The only way to survive is to get so big, so big, and they're gonna fire people when they merge, which they might.
I don't know if they will, but that's what they want to do.
They want to merge, they want to get rid of a lot of people and the company is going to get bigger by.
They want assets.
They don't care about the people.
They just want the things.
They want the mission impossible.
They want the things you have.
You know they'll get all those assets that people watch, that people like, that people enjoy, and then they get rid of all the people.
They go get, get out of here.
Get the get out of here, Fired.
Thank you, we're so excited about this merge.
Now get the fuck out.
You have till five o'clock, Chuck.
Look at me.
You have till five o'clock today to clean out your desk and get out of here.
You better go to the ketamine lounge.
You better go, drive over to the ketamine thing and get your head right, reset your head chuck, you're done.
We want mission impossible.
We don't want chuck at paramount, we want mission impossible.
Now go get the ketamine therapy.
That's what's gonna happen.
That's what's gonna happen then.
And all the people that look at this and operate as I do on the outside of this are just, we're just going to watch it and observe it.
We're going to watch it and observe it with a keen interest and we go huh, huh interesting.
And I know people that work in these things that will chat occasionally about stuff and I don't know if they think i'm wrong.
They probably don't, they might disagree.
At the end of q3, Paramount Global reported long-term debt of 15.6 billion, considerably less than Warner Brothers, whose debt load stood at 43 billion.
See, that's the thing.
Now, if we go, we owe 43 billion, you owe 15.
Let's get together, get it.
This is why couples by the way with debt, like people, say that's not good when a couple has debt.
Actually it's only if one person has debt and the other person doesn't, it creates resentment.
If both people are dirtbags, as my parents were, it works fine.
It actually works better.
If both people owe a lot of money, they're able to shirk that responsibility together.
It's actually a kind of nice life.
You're dodging people all the time together.
You don't answer the phone, you don't open the mail, you have a p.O.
Box if possible so you can get presents with that debt collector.
You know you're constantly anybody who just calls your name in public, even if it means your table at Applebees is ready.
You think they're a process server and they serve you with a judgment.
But if two people have debt, it's actually nice.
Discovery is the bigger fish with a market cap of 28 billion.
Paramount has 10.3 billion.
So they want let's merge it On the flip side, Warner Brothers, Discovery, Big Daddy's As would acquire top-tier properties from Paramount Pictures like Terminator, Transformers, Mission Impossible, Top Gun, A Quiet Place, Ninja Turtles, The Godfather, Paranormal Activity, Scream, Star Trek, Warner Brothers.
Warner Brothers Pictures table includes the DC extended universe, Harry Potter, and the Lord of the Rings.
They bring a little tid table as well.
The other thing that's really rattled the town is the Israel-Gaza-Palestine question.
People are these guilds, the Writers Guild and SAG, people got in these big fights at CAH and almost lost her job.
UTA dropped Susan Sarandon.
Escaping the Killing Country00:09:17
They fired the chick from Scream.
Oh, yeah.
The thing, it's, you know, it's contentious out here.
Melissa Barrera fired from Scream seven.
Then Jenna Ortega left from Wednesday.
She left Scream.
I don't know why that was, but Jenna Ortega was, you know, probably like, hey, man, let me get out of here.
This is getting hot.
This is getting a little hot.
So the inability, it's harder and harder now to get people on the same page about anything.
It's just difficult.
There used to be a way to get people on the same page, and it was called sexual blackmail.
And it really worked.
It really, really worked.
You would photograph or videotape people having sex with underage people.
And then that would be used against them.
That was really, really an important component of getting people on.
That was how we built team building.
It's a team building exercise, isn't it?
Roll in it together.
Team building.
Here's the file.
Here's a flash drive.
What do you think?
Right, right, right.
You're with us.
That's what it used to be, blackmail, blackmail.
That's how it was done.
People are like, how did it used to be done?
Blackmail.
That was it.
That's true.
People were gay and people said, well, pretend you're not gay.
But you have to, no matter what, you got to say exactly what we want you to say.
Or we're going to talk about you sucking cock.
You go, oh, fuck.
Okay.
Or you were a pedo.
Or you were a junkie.
You go, we know you're a junkie.
We're going to tell everyone you're a junkie.
Or you say what we want you to say.
We drive the Coke right to the house.
Which would you rather?
What would you rather?
This would have never happened.
They would have never had a bitch, top tier actress, pop it off.
Rarely did that happen.
Rarely.
They had control.
It was a town based on control.
It was a system based on control.
Here's what you get.
You get sex, you get drugs, you get all these things, you get money, but you can't, you got to go along with the thing.
Whatever the thing is, whatever the thing happens to be, it is what it is.
We'll give it to you, but you got to go.
Now no one can control anybody else.
It's chaos out here.
It's chaos.
People are popping off and saying things.
Not good.
They're saying things that they feel.
They're going, I don't know.
It does seem like a lot of civilians and people are like, shut up.
But you can't get people to go.
You can't put it back in the box.
This is why this town is over for good.
You can't put it back in the box.
Sociopathy isn't new and it's not rare.
But for a while, at least in California, it was a top-down paramilitary structure where the people who were, let's say, the biggest sociopaths, the Weinsteins, people like that, were able to control the smaller, less successful sociopaths.
But see, now we've raised an entire generation of sociopaths who do not need big papa sociopath.
We've raised an entire group of people that believe they should be famous.
All these kids on the internet go, I should be famous.
For what?
Who knows?
Doesn't matter.
I should be famous because we've raised them to believe that fame in and of itself had value.
It wasn't about talent.
It wasn't about doing anything.
It wasn't about the craft of anything.
It was about fame in and of itself, fame and money.
That's what you should get.
Fame.
Fame leads to money.
Money leads to fame.
So they don't need these big institutions anymore.
They can go out and do it themselves.
They have the ingredients.
They have their phone.
They have a MacBook.
They don't need the system, the old system, where they would lock them up in a castle on the hill and go, we have the whores and the blow.
You just have to say everything we want you to say.
You can't deviate.
You cannot deviate.
We're going to put you on a morning show and we need you to say whatever.
You got to stand next to Hillary Clinton and clap awkwardly while the 10,000 maniacs play that song.
These are days.
These are days to remember.
That's what it was.
So there's no coming back here.
And that doesn't, you know, that depresses people.
Not me.
I don't care.
I don't care.
It's as good a town as any to be destroyed.
There's nothing wrong with that.
We need things to die in order for things to live.
There's nothing wrong with that either.
But this is why it's happening.
And then the people that are left here are on ketamine in the valley.
They're sitting in a chair being shot up with drugs.
Or they're going to Peru to drink ayahuasca because they cannot just admit that it's not coming back.
It's not.
Joe Rogan killed it.
He took it.
He killed it.
My episode with him is out, by the way.
The Joe Rogan experience, if you want to watch that.
There is just, there is a lot here to be thankful for because it is the holidays.
This is our final episode before the new year.
There is a lot to be thankful for.
There is truly a lot to be thankful for.
We are entering a time of utter chaos.
2024 is going to be one of the most chaotic years probably in history.
It will be the third election I'll cover on this show.
I covered Trump, covered Biden, covering maybe Trump again.
It's going to be utter chaos.
I don't think any of us are quite ready for it.
It'll be very interesting to see how this takes shape.
Colorado knocking Trump off the ballot, saying he cannot, he's not eligible to run.
Other states like California are looking into it now going, huh, what are we going to do?
And what's making it all very interesting, and this kind of ties into what we talked about before, is that everybody's off the leash now, for the most part.
Not everybody.
I mean, the media is still beholden to their paychecks.
But you can't frame anything anymore the way you could have even five years ago.
Everything is just out there.
And that's not always, you know, good.
But we're just heading into maybe the craziest year that anyone of us can picture.
Just complete, utter insanity across the board.
China, Taiwan, Russia, Ukraine, Israel, Palestine, the Biden family, Trump.
It's going to get fun and it might get ugly.
But the great, the thing you can be grateful for is that you're alive in the moment.
That's what you should be grateful for.
I know that it's not a huge thing, but it is actually the only thing and the only thing that you should care about.
You're alive in the moment to witness this, whatever it kind of will be.
A lot of people did not make it, you know, to this R.I.P. to the lesbian, the barbecue person that used to make me brisket.
She's not here.
People leave.
People go.
But there are people that are still here with us, and you are one of them.
So we appreciate that.
And I don't know what's going to happen in 2024.
It seems like it could spill over.
They keep making movies, by the way.
You know, Netflix just made this movie, Leave the World Behind.
And A24 is making this Civil War movie.
It's like, hey, guys, how about making a movie about things being okay?
How about that?
How about that?
Why don't you get out of your comfort zone and make a movie about things that are good?
It's so hack right now.
And I enjoyed the Leave the World Behind.
But as an overarching point, it is so hack right now to make a movie about society disintegrating.
Yeah, we get it.
We get it.
We're watching it.
Make something nice.
Make something nice again.
Make something about people that love each other.
Make something about a country that it's going to work.
Stop making everything about people killing each other.
We're getting enough of that.
That's coming.
We're going to see that enough.
Road Trip Comedy Tour Dates00:00:40
Escapism.
How about that?
Perhaps?
We do appreciate you guys.
We're on the road all the time and we do appreciate you guys coming out.
We've got some theater, some fun comedy clubs, trying to get clips, hunting for clips in those comedy clubs.
But we'll be a Brea, New Year's, Columbus, Bethlehem, Washington, Ohio, San Antonio, Dallas, Atlanta, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Boston, Foxwoods, Connecticut, Chicago, Danny Beach, Florida, Phoenix, Atlantic City, TimDillacomedy.com.
You can get tickets to all of those shows.
We added some casinos as well in the spring.
We will see you on Patreon and we'll see you in the new year.