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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Mom Love Special00:02:07
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
Giannis Papas, there's a special that is on YouTube that you have to watch.
It's going to come up right now.
The hilarious stand-up comedian, the pride of Greece, Giannis Pappas, is called Mom Love.
And it's on YouTube, and you got to watch it.
It's all about transgender people.
The whole thing.
It's an hour of your take on the trans community.
Yeah, because it's just.
Because no one else has done it yet.
Yeah, it's not.
Nobody's covered it.
So I really want to delve into it.
It's smart.
Yeah.
It's good.
And no, that's a joke.
Yeah.
It's about what is it, mom love?
What is that about?
Mom love.
And I think your fans are really going to love this special, Timothy.
Sure.
I think they're going to love it.
Absolutely.
Mom love is the last joke in the special, and it's essentially saying that underneath everything, we've gotten out of balance.
There's too much empathy.
There's too much.
You have mom love and dad love.
Mom loves you unconditionally.
Right.
Dad loves you the way you love.
Barely.
Barely.
Right.
Based on how you do.
Conditionally.
Right.
You do good.
Dad loves you a little more the way the world will love you.
And there's too much mom love.
There's too much empathy.
And like we've talked about before, Tim, empathy is infinite.
There's no end to empathy.
So dad love.
Dad love is conditioned.
It's conditional.
Like when my dad got divorced and lived with his brother for two years and called me once every two months, that's conditional love.
Conditionally.
Right.
Okay.
He loves you conditionally.
And I, yeah.
Yeah.
He loves you a little bit more now that you're doing good.
Yeah.
When you were living with Justy Dodge, not so much.
Yeah.
No.
When I was living on a couch in Hal's kitchen, he was, you know.
People said, how's your son?
He goes, I had a son.
Yeah.
He goes, wait, who?
I don't know if I have one.
Yeah.
So that's interesting.
So that's the whole special.
Conditional Dad Love00:16:20
And it's very funny.
I've seen you do the hour live.
You got to check it out.
It's on youtube.com.
YouTube network.
It's free.
Yeah.
And it's for your viewing pleasure.
It costs a share.
I'm trying to do that as an advertising byline because I'm working on my marketing.
Right.
It costs a share.
Share it.
Share it.
Share it if you like it.
Yes.
Be socialist about it.
I know some of your listeners like communism.
We run a real spectrum here.
Yeah.
It's from the hard left to the hard right.
Yeah.
And so that's good.
Those are the interesting people, though.
Those are the fun people.
Those are the fun people.
You don't want to go with the dinner with someone who's nuanced.
No, you want somebody who's really going to...
Yeah.
It's going to bring it.
Yeah.
I mean, obviously, you know, this will be, you know, everybody in America for the next few months and since this shooting in Texas is going to talk about guns.
Yeah.
This is going to be, or maybe not.
Or maybe that's over.
But it's.
It's called guns, food, and safety.
Yeah.
Guns are a they're out there.
And I think personally that even some of the kids who were killed in Texas, if you brought them back, they would still be pro-gun.
That's my position.
Like if you had, if the ghost of one of them came back, they would still be pro-gun because it's, it's, it's right.
Well, it's so.
Yeah.
In Texas and Florida, all you have to know is all you got to do is ask the guy, like, were you scared a little bit for your life?
And I was frightened that these kids were going to hurt me.
Right.
And then he stood his ground.
He stood his personal ground.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, you've been shot.
I have been shot.
I have that unique experience.
You have the unique experience of being shot.
You've told it a million times and no one cares.
So we're not going to rehash it.
No, but if you haven't been shot, I recommend it.
It's fun.
It does kind of, it wasn't bad for you.
No, luckily.
Now, the guy who shot you is doing a one-man show about shooting you.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know.
I haven't really checked it out.
I haven't gone to the limited opening, but he did a one-man show.
This is a fact.
At some point, he did a one-man show.
At some point.
This is how strong the desire is for fame in this country.
At one point, the man who shot you outside of a nightclub got on a stage and did a one-man show about the decision to shoot you.
Yeah, I don't know what it was about, but I know that it was in there somehow because that was part of the reason I think he got in trouble.
Finally, someone said, okay, we got to take your gun away and we got to put you away.
So he didn't even get caught before he did the one-man show?
No, he did the one-man show, I think, from prison, I believe.
I don't know too much about that.
Oh, because he was caught first.
Yeah, you know, I tend not to.
How do you reached out to forgive him the way the Pope has forgiven people that have tried to assassinate the Pope?
Remember when the guy shot the Pope and then the Pope forgave him?
Yeah.
Well, that happened.
Have you forgiven?
Have you reached out to this person to forgive them for shooting you?
I don't blame him, you know?
Yeah.
I don't blame him.
He was doing God's bidding.
Yeah.
But have you ever thought about him again or tried to say?
No, no.
Are you angry at him?
No.
No, I'm not angry at him.
So my whole thing is this.
Besides the fact, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have had all those fucking panic attacks and I probably would have made it in this business a long time ago.
No, I'm not mad at him.
And he was Armenian.
How the fuck can you do that to your Greek brother, you piece of shit?
But you seem to have, how bad is it getting shot?
This is my question.
I mean, truly, and this is a real thing here.
You seem okay, and it doesn't seem like it inhibits you in any other area of your life.
So are we overreacting to gun violence, perhaps?
I think it's just part of American culture, baby.
I think it's part of life.
Yeah, it's part of life.
I think it's part of life.
And I think, you know, people should start saying that.
I think politicians should start saying getting shot is part of life as opposed to keep you keep running away from it.
And I go, why don't you just kind of brand it as a uniquely kind of American experience where people have the freedom to shoot you.
You also have the freedom to maybe shoot them.
You do.
If you get a little scared.
It's a violent country.
It's a country where there's a just, there's more of a chance that you might lose your life in places that typically people don't lose their life.
Right.
You know?
It's a violent country.
You could just be looking at tomatoes, trying to pick out which ones are more ripe.
Right.
And the next thing you know, there's a war happening in Isle IV.
Right.
And you just have to be prepared.
So I think the solution is every single person.
If you take that element away, this is my concern.
It gets boring.
That's right.
Yeah.
If you take the element away of potentially a massacre in a grocery store.
You never know when the USSR in North Korea is going to attack your living room.
Right.
So you have to be armed with as many semi-automatic weapons as possible.
Now, you're not an anti-gun nut.
No, I'm not at all.
You believe that people.
It should be a little harder to get than a Tylenol.
It might, yes.
That might help.
But the argument is that it is a little hard to get because you have to leave your house and drive somewhere.
That is the argument.
It's not, you can't postmate.
Go to postmates and try to get a gun.
You can.
Yeah, you can't.
You can't get a postmate's gun.
Well, of all the issues that I checked all the counties in Florida.
Good point.
Of all the issues we talk about on this show, I never get more hatred than when I suggest that guns should be harder to get.
This is the thing.
And again, I'm Second Amendment.
I believe you should be able to own a gun, protect yourself, things like that.
The minute I have said that guns should be a little harder to get, I get vicious hate.
And I understand it to a degree because you have people going, let's get rid of cops.
Let's get rid of any type of enforcement.
And then let's just hope that you don't get killed.
Well, that's part of the fear.
And it's an understandable fear because when you look at what the left does, they start out with, you can't say this, you can't do that.
And then they just keep going.
We should keep going.
Police reform.
And then the next thing you know, they're like, let's get rid of cops as an idea.
And you're like, so that's what people are scared of.
They're scared of that, you know, a little common sense gun control metastasizes into a complete confiscation of your weapons.
And some of the rhetoric is naive when you see it going, guns are bad.
Get rid of guns.
I mean, what's this obsession with gun?
It's like these blanket statements that place a morality on the actual object.
And it's like, no, it's not the gun.
Depends on the context whether a gun is good or bad.
So is it your contention?
Yeah.
And it's not guns that kill people.
It's lack of body armor that does.
It's, you know what it is?
Now, let me be honest about this particular shooting.
A, the cops did not go into this school for a long time.
Guy had a couple, the guy was armed.
Yes, but you know, isn't your job as a police officer to confront that which is happening in the moment?
Depends on whether it's a rival school from where your kid plays.
That's a great point.
I never thought about that.
Depends on which because it is so big there in Texas.
Huge.
I never thought about.
What football team they're going to play?
I never thought about that.
I didn't even think about that.
Is it possible these guys are going, you know what?
Maybe a few quarterbacks are getting it in there.
And our numbers are going up.
Exactly.
My question is, because a lot of people are saying, Uvaldi, school shooter, was in school for up to an hour before law enforcement broke into a room where he was barricaded and killed him.
That seems like a lot of time, Giannis.
Well, it's a lot of time, but you know.
It seems too much.
The cops probably had to ask a lot of permission from certain organizations.
Right.
You know, do we have a couple social workers here to talk to him first, find out why he did what he did?
Talk him down.
What happened?
Yeah.
What kind of institutions have failed him?
Yes.
What kind of systems?
Well, you know, the guy who killed the 10 people in Buffalo in the grocery store, the cops, then he went to go kill himself.
The cops are like, no, don't.
Yeah, yeah.
Let him do it.
Yeah, I don't know.
What are you going to do?
They're like, no, don't worry about it.
You made one mistake.
Yeah, we want to find out why you did it.
You got your whole life ahead of you.
Come here, give me a hug.
You're a good boy.
Yeah.
So to me, it feels like a quote here.
It's going to be within like 40 minutes or something, within an hour.
Texas Department of Public Safety Director Steve McGraw told CNN's Ed Lavendera at news conference, the 18-year-old shooter Salvador Lamos was in a standoff with law enforcement officers for about a half hour after firing on students and teachers, rep Tony Gonzalez.
I mean, here's the argument that pro-gun people make, and this is an interesting argument.
Guns are not new.
School shootings are new.
There is something mentally going on where we have a huge mental health crisis.
This doesn't mean you should be able to get a gun at 7-Eleven.
What I am saying is there is something going on in the culture.
I don't know what it is.
I have a few ideas.
That is, it's a coarsening potentially of the culture in the sense that we are creating perhaps more violent sociopaths now than we were then.
Yeah.
You got to get this kid into acting classes early.
That's true.
Because he posted a photo with Eyeliner and he was kind of, you know, had some issues.
He got bullied a lot.
You just got to take that sociopathy and that you got to put it in a place where he can use it and it benefits him.
That's a great point.
Acting, entertainment, politics.
Yes.
Should we be identifying sociopaths at a younger age and putting them on a path to be our leaders as opposed to killing children in a school?
They can kill children in other countries on our behalf.
Absolutely.
It's not a bad idea.
We need some youth outreach programs that identify these sociopathic traits early and then put them on the right track.
Get them into a couple of improv classes.
Or how about this?
It's like, hey, you don't feel good.
There's a place for you.
There's a place for you.
There's a place for you without empathy.
There's 100% a thing you can do.
I don't know much about this guy.
And his name is Salvador Ramos.
He was 18 years old.
Supposedly he was bullied.
He wrote three disturbing messages on Facebook just minutes before the massacre.
A massacre.
Warning of the carnage to come.
Quote, I'm going to shoot my grandmother.
Salvatore Ramos wrote about 30 minutes before his rampage on Facebook.
How many people liked that?
That sounds like something I would have written.
Nobody knows he's serious.
And no one knows you're serious.
If I saw him going to shoot my grandmother, I'd like that.
It's hilarious.
Not now.
It's not.
They just, the bots and whatever.
Writing minutes later, listen to this.
Ramos made good on his vow writing minutes later that he'd, quote, shot his grandmother.
His last message foretold of his final act of unspeakable violence.
I'm going to shoot in elementary school.
He wrote about 15 minutes before he arrived on campus.
I hate dealing with this issue in a funny way.
It is a comedy show because it is an unspeakable tragedy.
People's kids were killed.
It is the most evil act I can imagine.
It is the I think it is the most evil act out there.
It's premeditated.
It's evil.
Here's the thing.
We live in a country.
Have you seen Nikki Glazier's Instagram lives where she's going to do a song about this?
When she does a guitar?
Yeah.
That is also premeditated.
But I think this is worse.
It's evil.
Yeah.
And it is too easy to get a gun.
And this type of stuff is crazy.
So I don't want to, I'm not trying to minimize it, but it is weird to be a comic and do a show where we're having fun.
Absolutely.
We have to do our job.
I mean, it's the most horrendous thing ever.
You can't get more evil than this.
Also, you know, what happened in Buffalo, you know, just because evil.
No, it's evil.
It's like this one brings out the slip, but it's like, you know, there were randomly targeted black people is horrible as well.
It's absolutely insane.
The thing is, we live in a country where we're so fame-obsessed.
And I think when these sociopaths feel like that fame is out of their reach, they go for infamy.
When something's this premeditated, there's no assassins or premeditated murderers who don't want the attention.
Right.
Attention in this country is currency.
So this guy's going like, it seems like a lot of work for me to, you know, become an actor, whatever it is.
In sports, sports.
To find myself in the business world, come up with an app.
So I'll settle for infamy.
So I'll settle for being remembered.
That's the only thing people respect in this country is how to, someone's famous.
It doesn't matter how they.
Yeah, I made the news.
Yeah.
They're looking at all these other stuff.
They're looking at our culture and going like, hey, man, people love serial killer documentaries.
They love all these people who do horrible things and then they celebrate them.
The news constantly, you know, plays into that reptilian part of our brain and scares us and does, oh, this story happened.
And they replay the horror over and over and over again, like the Will Smith slap.
You know, it's just, they, they play it over.
And so it's like, hey, man, I want to be, I want to be known for something.
It's a real nihilistic tour de force in infamy.
Onlookers urge police to charge into Texas school.
This is interesting because you have cops standing outside.
People are heckling them, going, get in there.
Yeah.
And they're not doing it.
That's like a sports fan at a game.
Like, why did you do it?
It's like, dude, you're sitting there drinking a beer.
Yeah, but I don't know why they're not going in there for an hour.
That's crazy, honest.
That is crazy.
That's crazy.
It is crazy.
That's crazy.
Quote, go in there, go in there.
Nearby women shouted at the officers soon after the attack began.
Said Juan, here's the deal.
If the cops are going to run around and go, we have the most dangerous job in the world, which is statistically not true, not even in the top 10.
It is a dangerous job, but it's not the most dangerous job in the world per capita statistically.
It's very dangerous in certain areas for sure.
If that is going to be the party line, you got to go into the school while this guy is shooting, but you can't stand outside for an hour.
That seems to be crazy.
And I know there'll be 19 cops that'll message me and go, no, you don't understand anything.
It's actually you have to wait.
You have to understand.
It's protocol.
There's things that need to be done.
But it's not, it's not protocol if it's a black kid walking down the street, but it's protocol if it's in a so my whole thing is the women are shouting at the cops.
Go in there.
Go in there.
They're shouting, upset the police officers were not moving in.
A few of the other bystanders were like, let's charge into the school.
He goes, let's just rush in because the cops aren't doing anything like they're supposed to.
More could have been done.
They were unprepared.
Minutes earlier, Carranza, this is a guy had watched the Salvador Ramos crash his truck into a ditch outside the school, grabbed his AR-15 semi-automatic rifle and shot two people outside a nearby funeral home who ran away uninjured, shot at two people.
Officials say he encountered a school district security officer outside the school, though there were conflicting reports from authorities on whether the men exchanged gunfire.
After running inside, he fired on two arriving Uvalde police officers who were outside the building, said Texas Department of Public Safety spokesperson Travis Constantine.
The police officers were injured.
Rushing Into Schools00:14:51
After entering the school, Ramos charged into one classroom and began to kill.
He barricaded himself by locking the door and just started shooting children and teachers that were inside the classroom.
Absolutely insane.
We got to take this conversation from the media and activists.
Yeah.
And it really has to, people need to sit down and find some solutions without shouting these utopian slogans at the end.
That's right.
Going like guns are evil.
We should have no guns or the other side going, don't take them.
We got to stop that.
Right.
There's no perfect solution.
There's mitigation.
Can we please get mitigation?
Can we fucking mitigate?
Can we make it a little less?
Mitigation, baby.
Yeah.
Mitigation, baby.
What a beautiful word, mitigation, because you do need to find the happy medium.
You got to mitigate.
You have to find the common ground.
You have to find the place where everybody is okay.
Yes.
And happy.
The most, you know, the best for the most.
You got to find the thing that works for everybody.
You got to find something that's a little less convenient for the Mexican cartels.
Right.
Who gets supplied with all their weapons from us?
They do buy our guns.
That's where they get.
But that's an honor.
See, it's quid pro quo.
There's something nice about.
Salvador Ramos was angry that he did not graduate.
Texas neighbors said, how dumb do you have to be to not graduate a Texas high school?
I mean, you can't graduate a Texas high school?
Yeah.
Classmates of the 18-year-old who murdered at least 19 children and two teachers are due to attend the graduation ceremony on Friday, May 27th.
Ramos' fury over his lack of academic success sparked a fight with his grandmother shortly before he shot her.
I kind of get that.
And drove to Robbie Elementary School to embark on the killing spree.
So this guy's, he's a troubled guy.
He's unhappy.
I would say so.
He's not smart.
Psychopathic.
He's psychopathic.
He's not smart.
The grandma goes, you're an idiot.
He gets upset.
Now he goes and buys the AR-15, Ben.
On his 18th birthday, he bought two of those.
And he goes, two just in case North Korea invades our home.
Yeah.
He gets two AR-15s on the 18th birthday.
He probably said to the cash register, he's probably, I'm going to need another one so I can reload when I'm shooting up the school.
And they probably went like, that's your freedom.
That's your business.
That's your business.
I'm not, that's freedom of expression.
I don't need to know all of that.
Hot on it.
You are free to be free and honest country.
I don't need to know all of that.
It's not my business.
When you walk out here with these two AR-15s, you do whatever you damn well please.
I mean, it doesn't.
Is it one of those schools where they got the transgender people reading in the library?
Well, then you need these to defend yourself against trans people.
You might need three guns.
Maybe three.
I'm not going to ask.
Maybe you're using them for a science project.
I don't need to know.
It doesn't matter.
At least one additional kid died directly because the cops were incompetent.
Somebody said when the cops come, the cops said, the cops said, yell if you need help.
And one of the persons in my class said, help.
The shooter overheard and he came in and shot her.
Oh, my God.
Yell if you need help.
Somebody yelled help.
And then the guy goes in and shoots her.
I mean, I got to be honest with you, and I'm not trying to neg the cops here, but this is not the most, this isn't a crack squad of geniuses out there.
Can we just say that?
Like in a school where it's being shut up, they go, just start yelling.
Yell help.
That'll be good.
I just don't think it's a job right now.
That anyone wants to do that.
That anyone wants.
Yes.
And cops are scared to do.
I agree.
Yeah, for sure.
It's like they always are, they're under the microscope.
But in Texas, that's less true.
It's less true in Texas.
It's less true in Texas.
There's not a rage against the cops in Texas.
Right.
Especially in this scenario where we need them to spring into action.
We need them to go into a school that's being shut up.
This isn't a highly controversial thing.
Right.
So that is tragic and unfortunate.
But there is somewhere to get to where maybe guns are harder to get, where an 18-year-old can't purchase two AR-15s without a waiting period or a background check or something like that.
And you need to make it universal.
The problem is, and you know, the states' rights, you know, the smaller government people, they hate the federal government, but it has to be uniform if you're going to have a country.
You can't go into, you can't have it so you go into Indiana and you can buy a resold gun at a gun show and all these loopholes and then, you know, go sell them in Chicago.
You can't go from another state and get an easy one and then travel to it.
You got to make it all the same.
Right.
You got to make it all the same because we don't have closed borders yet between our contiguous states.
Yeah.
So it's like, it's got to be the same everywhere, which small government people, states rights people hate.
So it'll always be a problem.
It'll never be solved.
It's just going to be part of our great American tradition.
Football, cheese fries, buffalo wings, and murder of children.
Yeah, so the NRA is going to gather in Houston days after the Texas school massacre, and there's going to be some protests.
People are going to be upset about this and the NRA.
Yeah, 55,000 people are showing up.
Yeah, it's a big convention in Houston for the NRA convent.
What are they going to, what are the themes this year?
They'll probably all be carrying.
It's going to be, I tell you right now, it's a tough one.
It's a tough one as a convention goes.
It's a tough one.
You know, they're going to get out.
They're going to address it.
They're going to go, people want to limit.
They're going to be like, he's a good guy with a gun.
Oh, well, that didn't work in Buffalo.
Yeah.
Because the guy had body armor.
We need more body armor.
Right.
People, we need.
Is it wrong to say kids should go to school in body armor?
Is it wrong to think that fashion designers need to up their game and start incorporating defense into their style?
Tommy Hill figure, body armor.
That's right.
Hey, Tori Birch, wake up.
Wake up.
We need military gear for most people.
Body armor, bulletproof clothing.
Body armor.
If you put kids in little bulletproof vests, then everything's fixed.
Is it not cute?
It's very cute.
If you put kids in Kevlar, is there a problem with that?
I'm seriously asking.
If we're not going to ban the gun, like how nuts will it get?
That's a solution.
That's a solution.
A lot of times the fashion is very environment specific.
You go to Miami, it's like light colors.
You live in America, it should be body armor and bulletproof.
This is interesting.
So this is a, read this tweet, Ben, for us.
So this was the gunman bought the weapons using the attack shortly after his 18th birthday, and the gun store he posted receipts from tweeted this that day.
This was their act.
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
And you see a child with an AR-15.
This is from Daniel Defense, and they've locked their account.
And they're a small weapons manufacturer out of Georgia.
The military industrial complex in our country.
Yeah.
It's a baby.
It's not a problem.
It's a baby who doesn't know anything with a gun.
With a toy in Texas.
Yeah.
An AR-15.
Yeah.
Train up a child in the way he should go.
And when he's old, he will not depart from it.
Now, notice he's not reading a book.
He's not playing sports.
Notice he's not even worshiping at a church.
He is sitting on the floor.
What is that, Ben?
Is that an AR-15?
It looks like some sort of AR-15.
He's sitting on the floor with like an assault rifle.
It's a gun that works really well.
Yeah.
Whatever it is, AR-15 or not.
Yeah.
Whatever it does.
It does it efficiently.
Whatever it is, it's efficient.
It's interesting that they tweeted that on the day an 18-year-old murdered a bunch of kids.
Yeah.
At the very least, it's a marketing snafu.
At the very least.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, they won't, the people who defend this won't say it is.
Right.
It'll all be blamed on mental health.
Right.
Mental health.
And that's not, and it's not wrong, but also those people are not saying, let's give people health care.
That's never their second point.
They never go, we got a mental health crisis.
We should have health care.
Right.
That's never point number two.
Right.
And also, it's like, you know, I used to work in that field.
You know, it's like you don't walk into a psych ward and get shot.
Right.
I mean, there's got to be a gun in their hands.
My mother is mentally ill.
She's very mentally ill.
She's never killed anyone.
Right.
So I do think that it kind of, it's a weird way.
It shits on mentally ill people to say that they're all violent murderers.
Right.
I don't believe, yes, I don't think anyone who kills someone's mentally well.
I think that, you know, but in the group of mentally ill people, there's a small percentage of them that are violent.
And, you know, people have been getting more and more violent.
It's almost like this 50-year diet of poison food, drugs, booze, high stress, paranoid media has finally gotten into people's heads.
Yeah.
And that seems to be maybe an issue.
I mean, it's like we've spent 50 years poisoning the population, getting them hooked on drugs so that they can perform their tasks at work, stressing them to the point of nervous breakdowns.
And apparently they're not able to really raise their children in a way that prevents them from mass murder.
Yeah, this is a multifaceted issue.
There's a lot of things going on.
A lot of things going on.
And even in this very reasonable podcast we're doing, the rage will not stop.
The rage in the comments will not, the first comment will be, I couldn't get through it.
Why don't they understand there are background chats?
I had to wait five minutes to get that gun.
The second comment will be like, the gun stuff wasn't so bad, but Tim, no guess.
Right, right.
No guess.
Get him out of there.
And folks, by the way, we're not doing a lot this summer.
We're not doing a lot this summer because I'm not that upset.
I don't know the gun thing.
No gas.
Here's the reality.
I don't even like them.
Devin and I come and sit here who I love.
And they don't really speak.
And that works.
And, you know, you, we like, and there's a few people we like, but it's not a guest show.
Right.
It's never going to be a guest show.
Right.
And we're never going to make it a guest show.
I love how you got this chair, though, for Ray Kumpf.
It's a Ray Kump chair.
They like Ray, and I like Ray.
You know, this is a tight squeeze.
Here's the thing.
Podcasts are kind of ending.
And this is the reality.
People have had enough.
They've had enough of the same 20 people talking about the same things.
And that's why we've never gotten into the guest model.
Nobody has anything to say that matters.
And I don't care if they do.
And that's why we've never embraced the model of guests.
And that's why we're getting into the bullet defense fashion line business.
We're going to start arming children with Kevlar vests, cute Kevlar.
Have you ever thought about doing merch like Tim Dylan's show on body armor?
Oh, but it's too expensive to produce.
And it's too expensive for people to buy.
Do you ever get sad?
Can you talk into the fucking microphone?
You, you.
It says breaking Texas DPS.
Now say there was no school police officer who encountered or engaged the mass shooter at Rob Elementary School.
The shooter was not confronted before entry, and it appears he walked into the school through an unlocked door.
We got to lock the doors.
That seems obvious to everyone involved.
The doors of a school have to be locked.
You know, I showed up at my old school.
I was with a friend.
This was years ago.
And I was, you know, I thought I'd do like a little homecoming.
Like, hey, this is where I went to school.
I thought I could walk down.
I had no idea.
And this was years ago.
I had no idea how like how shut down these schools were.
It was all locked.
I knocked on the door.
They were like, hello, excuse me.
And through the glass, I was like, yeah, I went to school here.
I'm Tim Dylan.
I was on Joe Rogan.
We talked about Bill Gates.
And they looked at me like the guy looked at me like I was crazy showing up at a school.
And now, you know, upon further reflection, I now, I get it.
It does seem crazy.
Do you think, because the lockdown is inevitably, someone will get in.
Do you think at some point what we need to do is have decoy schools like Saddam Hussein Palace's where the students are in a decoy school and then we have doubles in the other schools.
Right.
But it's going to get out which school is which.
Well, then you got to check.
You got to keep moving.
What about if we educated kids underground?
Underground would be like underground.
We have underground cities.
We have underground military bunkers.
The kids don't need sunlight.
They can certainly underground, we can recreate the conditions of UV light.
Or the military industrial complex will make a clip out of this.
Yeah.
Everyone arm up and don't leave and just let delivery people deal with it.
Yes.
Delivery people are the only brave ones now.
Yeah.
I mean, I was talking about that today.
Somebody on Instacart delivered me two candles.
They had to take that long walk from the door to their car in the Walgreens parking lot, depending on the time of day in Los Angeles.
That ain't nothing.
That's nothing.
You have no idea what could happen on your way.
I guarantee you, an Instacart or Postmates worker on the way to the car has met their end.
Yeah, or release a new virus for our own safety to get us back indoors.
You just see a burrito fall to the floor and then blood.
Yeah.
Because that people that leave their houses now really are the most brave.
Yeah.
And it's going to be.
It's the most brave people.
They're the most brave people.
They're outside.
Teachers maybe are more brave than cops now.
I mean, teachers, teaching might be a more deadly job than police.
You got to arm them.
Yeah.
You got to arm these kindergarten teachers.
Well, here's the deal in Texas.
Why didn't they have guns?
I'm not even kidding.
Like, why did they not have guns in Texas?
Like, is this all the gunman's fault?
Or can we lay a little bit of blame on the teachers who weren't carrying?
These cucks moving from California.
That's what it is.
You have a bunch of liberal teachers moving from California that don't have guns and aren't focused on the defense of the school.
And it's not just enough to have guns.
Again, I just want to focus.
Right.
We need body armor because the other guy.
And that is what's being seriously suggested.
Yeah.
Well, you need body armor because the guy's going to come, if he's got a bigger gun, he's prepared.
He's got the guy.
I watch a lot of self-defense videos.
Right.
The perp always has the advantage.
Right.
Because he's the one that comes in and goes, we're doing this.
Right.
You have to go, oh shit, we're doing this.
Because he has the element of surprise.
The element of surprise.
And he may have an AR-15.
Those things are pretty efficient.
They do their job.
So what we need is, let's plan this out.
Kids With Guns00:03:10
We need one teacher at the chalkboard, handgun maybe, ready in one hand.
Then we need another teacher.
So you're saying just a teacher pretty much all day at the ready.
Well, you don't know if the kids got a gun, so you got to have one.
You got to have a gun facing the kids.
That's right.
And then you have to have someone watching your blind spot.
So we need another teacher, a teacher's aide, if you will.
A teacher's aid.
So they don't even need a game.
Watching the door.
We just need two armed people in each classroom.
One watching the door, one watching the windows.
AR-15s drawn.
It's not a bad idea.
So we have two people in the classroom.
They each have an AR-15 out.
And it's just kind of a fun way to quiet the kids down, too.
Quiet down.
It's nap time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, the kids themselves may be armed because it's their right.
Yes.
But as long as you have an AR-15, you have the advantage because their little hands can't quite grasp or deal with the pushback of an AR-15.
Yeah, and you can take a few of them out if you need to.
But if you need to, you'll get a few.
So if we, if we, because now we're finding.
We need to live in the last scene of a Quentin Tarantino movie.
We are.
Where everyone's pointing guns at each other at all times.
We're finding the common ground here.
And this is what I want to stress.
So if you have a few people in each classroom with AR-15s, one trained on the kids, one on the door of the classroom.
And one in the teacher, because you don't know what they're going through.
Oh, it's a great point.
Yeah.
Because the teacher might flip out.
So you need one kid marshal in the class.
So a kid marshal with a gun who has a gun on the teacher.
You need two teacher's aides with AR-15s, one at the door, one at the class.
Yes.
Yes.
Interesting.
Yes.
It's not a bad idea.
And you need school uniforms, and those uniforms are body armor.
Kevlar body armor uniforms.
Yes.
AR-15 at the kids, AR-15 at the teacher, AR-15 at the door.
Problem solved.
Not a big deal.
Not a tough way to live at all.
It's fine.
It's totally comfortable.
And the most important part, reasonable.
Right.
Right.
And people in other countries would watch this and they would think it's comedy.
But what it actually is, is a good plan.
It's a great, smart, thought-out, cogent plan.
It's not a bad idea.
Not at all.
Yeah.
Otherwise, we're going to be just relying on what we're relying on now, which I guess is chance, happenstance, luck.
Yeah.
Yeah, because now it seems like a casino a little bit if you send your kids to school.
Yeah.
No, I would.
It's a little bit of a casino.
Even in supermarkets, I would feel a lot safer.
Yes.
Armed.
I would feel a lot safer if the army was there while I got lettuce.
If the military could potentially enforce a barrier around the supermarket and check people as they went in.
We need military checkpoints at Safeway.
I don't think it's a bad idea to put the military outside supermarkets.
I don't think so at all.
And you know that it will come into this conflict.
School Is A Casino00:14:34
I guess it's like the thing that a lot of people are nervous of is government overreach.
Is part of this, it doesn't seem the death and destruction of mayhem doesn't seem to bother people as much since the internet.
People have kind of been desensitized to this.
We do have a culture of people that don't really care that a bunch of kids died.
We do have a culture of people that don't really care about death.
We have made a generation of sociopaths.
And I wonder how much technology has had to do with that.
I feel like it's had a good amount to do with it.
I think also what's had something to do with it is just the sheer volume of the horror.
Of just how much it happened.
That's right.
But Trisha Neal had that joke.
You can't care about everything.
It's like putting out three podcast episodes a week.
It's like, that's a lot.
Right.
You get a little numb to it.
Right.
It's a lot.
So it's like, how many are you going to care for?
You almost have to pick and choose which one's going to get you now.
Right.
You know?
Right.
And it's just, it's.
I mean, they happen like weeks.
I think I read, I think the statistic, and Ben can look at it.
2022 so far, there's been hundreds.
How many mass shootings in 2022?
Hundreds.
Now, mass shooting is defined as, I think, anytime more than four people are shot.
214.
200 so far.
And we are in June.
We're in June.
240.
And what defines a mass shooting?
I believe it's over four people.
Over in May, yeah.
I believe it's four.
The U.S. has had May, right?
Sorry.
214 mass shootings so far this year.
And defines a mass shooting, I believe, is four people shot.
Now, I don't know if that's the case.
Look, guns are good if they're in the right hands.
They're bad if they're in the wrong hands.
We need to do something to make sure that there's less in the wrong hands and more in the right hands.
Whatever that is, have at it, America.
Four or more deaths.
I was correct.
Have at it.
More guns in better hands.
Yeah, that's it.
Right.
That's all there is to it.
It's all there is to it.
It's got to be harder than getting a prescription for, you know, whatever your doctor prescribes.
Right.
And it's.
But, you know, one of my friends, you know, little brothers came to visit my house and like, he's from the Appalachians or whatever.
And they make moonshine.
And it's a different life.
It's a different life.
It's just a different life.
Yeah.
And, you know, they find if they find a woman at the gas station, they bring her in the chainer in the back cabin.
You know what I mean?
It's a different life.
It's a different life.
Yeah.
And I thought you'd hired him to murder me.
Yeah.
No, he's not.
Yeah.
You know, it was a little terrifying.
We had dinner with David Spade.
He was like cutting into the plate.
He was like cutting into the plate.
Like David Spade was staring at him like, what the hell's going on?
He's like cutting into the plate.
But my point is, lovely kid.
My point is that it's a different life.
It's a different life.
And his first reaction after the school shooting was like, you know, they can't take my guns because they love, you know, that's the thing.
In other countries, masculinity is maybe defined by fucking a hot woman.
Yeah.
But a lot of times we now, our masculinity kind of rests on the idea that like you have a phantom war in your head that you're going to be a part of one day.
Yeah.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have guns to defend yourself.
I'm saying that like you go to Australia and you see a bunch of good-looking people on a beach fucking each other.
Yes.
They're not like, where are the AR-15s?
Yeah, but it's.
Nobody in Australia that's like drunk, hanging out in the beach.
None of them are like, hey, where are the automatic weapons to really make this a good time?
Yeah, you can't ignore the cultural component to this.
And here's the thing about Australia.
I've said before they're white mongos.
So I'm not saying let's completely emulate their mongoloids.
But, you know, it's like you see all these Hollywood people saying we got to do something, take away the guns.
We have to do some, we got to get this regulation.
And then those same people will be starring in a movie with Mark Wahlberg called Diving Gun Guy.
Right.
So it's like, it's just the movies are like, bang, Or someone will assault someone who made a joke at the Oscars and they'll applaud that person and cry for his speech.
So I respect the, I'm saying people should be able to own guns, should be able to defend themselves.
You know, I just feel like it is, it's fucking horrible that this keeps happening and it doesn't seem to show any signs of abating at all.
At all.
And it's just odd culturally that you can have movies where people are being fucking executed by the droves.
But if you show a little bit of a penis or a nipple, people, it's like outrageous.
What is that?
It's a puritanical country.
Puritanical.
It's a puritanical country.
We prefer murder to sex.
That's, well, that's, now we're getting it.
So now we're getting it.
It's weird.
Now we're getting it.
Yeah, I mean, you go watch a French movie.
They're like, fucking CD in and out.
Yeah, we really prefer murder to sex here.
We're kind of a sexless culture.
People just want to eat and kill each other.
That's what America's kind of become.
And I think we have to embrace it.
I don't think we should.
I think we should embrace.
It's what makes us unique.
It's what makes us unique.
Other countries like having sex with each other.
They like, you know, I think it's for us to just go to IHOP armed is a beautiful thing.
And our enemies, maybe it helps a little bit that they don't even consider attacking us because they're like, they're killing each other.
We don't have to invade them.
Yeah, but it is very interesting.
The component of this that's weird, psychosexual in a weird way, like where it's kind of like, you know, there is something to be said for the fact that young men in America right now are not kind of socializing.
Not all of them, but there's a sect of them that like are finding it difficult to find partners and mates.
And they're not, and it's becoming difficult.
I'm sure it's happening in other places as well.
But some of those people are grabbing weapons.
Like that is something that some of them do.
They are enraged.
I mean, again, all we heard after 9-11 was like, it's a bad idea for men in the Arab world to not be near any women and to be in these cults and to, you know, to be sexually frustrated and to be fucking, you know, like indoctrinated.
And now you start to see that we have a similar vibe going on with a lot of guys in America that for whatever reason are just like, hey, you know, I'm having more fun with a gun than a pussy.
Right.
It's not the only doctor.
Otherwise, all these school shooters would just be married men.
No, and this guy might have been, this guy might have been gay or trans or straight.
I don't think it truly matters.
There seems to be just a wider issue.
Yeah, it really is.
There is an issue where, like I said, like if you show a, you can't even show a penis.
Why is there such a taboo about a penis?
You can't show a vagina.
Like, why?
Right.
What's the big deal?
Right.
But you can show murder without.
Well, you could also show like cuties in Netflix doc.
You have young girls twerking.
Yeah.
So in America, you can get away with it if it's pedophilia.
Pedophilia or murder.
People in America hate appropriate age sex.
Right.
They hate it.
They don't like consensus.
They hate it.
It's either violence or fucking children.
That's all that they can handle.
Yes.
Or a Big Mac.
Yes.
Yeah, but appropriate age sex is just grotesque.
Yeah, it's weird.
For people in America, there's no taboo.
It's not fun.
It's our puritanical roots.
There's something there a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah, it really is.
And that's why the people that rebel against it are like in San Francisco dressed up as leather dogs, being walked down the street and a leash.
And you go, well, that's really not the answer either.
It's just all a country of extremes.
It's a country of extremes.
You go, why can't you just like, why can't you have regular sex that's, you know, somewhat irregular instead of just having to dress up like a dog and be walked down the street and pissed and shit on and whipped and beaten to get hot?
I mean, people can't get off now unless a woman's being waterboarded, choked, thrown down the stairs.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, you're kicking her in the face.
Like, sex now has gotten incredibly violent just so people can come.
And you wonder, yeah, in France or any of these places, you will see people just fucking.
But America, it's like people need to get choked.
They need to have their head through the wall.
It's just, yeah, it just makes you real cynical about humanity that it's one of the few things we have that is good for you to come.
Right.
There's no consequences.
Right.
It's not like doing drugs wherein you.
Well, now at Roe v. Wade, there's going to be some consequences.
There's some consequences.
No, there's going to be some consequences.
But it's also women.
What do you have better to do than have the baby?
You know what I mean?
Like, truly, like, the reality is you think my mother didn't want an abortion?
You don't think she knew she had a fat, gay cocaine addict inside of her?
Yeah.
Here's the reality.
I was born and she ignored me and took me to Wendy's.
And that's what you do as a parent.
You just take your kid to Wendy's.
We're going to wrap it up in a little bit here, but I think we've kind of solved it.
I think we solved it, dude.
Body armor fashion lines.
We got to arm up.
We got to have these schools completely armed, everyone armed all the time, including the kids, watching each other, taking all these factors into account.
And then you need surveillance systems, too.
You need surveillance at all times.
Yeah.
At all times.
Yeah.
And that'll keep everyone free.
Well, at least it'll give pedophiles some jobs where they're doing some good.
Why not?
Watch the kids.
Here's a crazy idea.
Pedophiles outside the schools with guns.
The pedophiles care about the kids.
Nobody loves them more.
The pedophiles care about the kids.
They can protect the schools with guns.
Nobody is going to care for the well-being.
What about an army of pedophiles around the school with guns?
I love it.
Solved.
Give pedophiles guns.
Let them arm the schools.
Yeah, and maybe we go back to castles where there's like a boat around.
It's not a bad idea to just have a, like put schools in places geographically that are harder to get to.
So all the kids are in school.
You bring the drawbridge up.
Right.
Lava all over.
I think the honest answer is also like, why have schools when you could just send kids to workhouses and work?
That's probably why this is happening.
There was no shootings when there were workhouses in London.
Let's get these kids back to work cleaning chimneys at four.
It's a good idea.
I mean, again, folks, this is, you know, it's a, you know, it's an issue, but it's not that big of a deal.
It's not a big deal.
It's not as big of a deal as a lot of other things.
Yes, there's a lot of other problems that are a bigger deal.
What did Ricky Gervais say?
There's all kinds of problems.
What did Ricky Gervais say is a big, big problem?
I don't think it's a big, you know, listen, people are going to die.
Yeah.
And some of them are going to be young.
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
There's nothing you can do.
Are you going to ban child death?
It's really not as big of a deal as are you going to ban child death?
You can't ban child death.
Yeah.
And, you know, it's like we're all really more concerned about what's going to happen in this verdict with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
What's the bigger deal?
What's the bigger deal?
That's right.
What do people care about more really?
Yeah.
I think they care more about that.
Well, it's more fun.
It's more fun.
This is very depressing with the kids and the people always getting shot.
It's very depressing.
Yeah, it is fun.
Fake depression.
We needed it.
I called it.
I called it months ago.
I said we needed a trial to get us out of this.
I said maybe Kanye would like kill Kim and Pete or something.
I said we needed a trial to get us out of the COVID malaise, and it was Depp Heard.
And I didn't even know Amber Heard breaks down on stand.
I'm getting thousands of death threats.
And he is shedged more.
But, you know, I said we needed a trial.
I was correct.
We absolutely need a trial.
We need trials on every channel.
We need prank shows on every channel.
Yeah.
And we need people inside.
Please don't leave your house ever at all.
Just watch this new form of entertainment.
It's great because it's like soccer.
There's very few commercial breaks.
It goes for 20 hours.
Yeah, this is the longest trial.
It's correct.
I mean, this shooting will be out of the news in an hour.
This won't even be relevant when it's released on Saturday in two days.
This episode won't be, there'll be another shooting by then.
But this Depp Heard thing has gone on for as long as I can remember.
I think it's six weeks.
I feel like I've grown up with these people.
I care more about them than I do my own family.
And it's not even close.
I care more about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp than these kids that got shot because I've been with them longer.
It's just on more.
It's great.
Yeah.
And I mean, it's just, it's just what it is.
And it's the only thing left, really, that hasn't been done.
Right.
It's like trials for celebrities that are real.
That are drug addicts that beat each other up.
Yeah.
For your entertainment.
And you know what's fun about it?
They're rich.
So there's butlers and maids and nannies and assistants and like weird types of things.
And there's Coachella in the hills and Australia.
And we're in Italy or whatever they're doing.
And it's fun to hear about somebody getting beaten in a nice area.
For once.
It's a good time to be a body language expert.
Yeah.
They're doing real well.
They're doing real well.
They're providing a lot of commentary for this.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, folks, we've come up with the solutions.
I don't know what you want me to do.
I mean, you know, unfortunately, this is what happens.
You can homeschool your kids and you can shoot them.
Yeah.
Don't go out.
But it's not just school, so don't go outside.
Well, you don't need to.
Yeah, you need to.
With an Instacart and Postman.
Yeah.
You don't really need.
No, no, truly no.
You don't need to go outside.
You don't need to be outside.
You don't need to go.
If you go to a national park, you get abducted.
If you go to the grocery store, you may get shot in the face.
You don't need to go outside.
You have streaming services.
You have people that are willing to brave the elements to bring you nachos and they're going to get killed.
So at the end of the day, there's no real reason you need to leave your house.
It's not a big deal.
Everything should be like going to the airport.
There should be checkpoints and metal detectors.
Nobody should have their shoes on ever.
There's one safe place in America.
There's one safe place in America, and it's Austin, Texas.
Paradise.
So if you want to live in a place, where was this shooting?
How far away from Austin?
So it's 30 minutes or 90 miles west of San Antonio.
So that's about three hours, I guess.
Stay Inside Please00:04:16
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But not Google Austin shooting.
I bet nothing comes up.
Let's see.
No.
Austin.
I bet nothing comes up.
Austin's just weird at news here.
It's all going to be what happened here.
Man shot dead by officers after he allegedly pointed a gun at people from his truck.
That was 17 hours ago.
And dead after opening fire on officers from pickup truck in Southeast Austin.
This is the same thing.
Yeah.
Teen arrested after shooting death in South Austin parking lot outside LA Fitness.
That was three days ago.
Half of deadliest U.S. shootings were in Texas.
Oh, it's weird.
It's weird.
It's not great.
You know, it's weird when you go to.
It's not a great.
It's not great.
It's weird when you go to like the very like liberal, I guess, as far as gun laws go.
Like you can, meaning you can have a gun.
You go to those places, but they have signs at all the places where you go that say, don't bring your gun in here.
Right.
You're like, wait a second, I thought I was in North Carolina.
What do you mean?
I can't bring my gun to the opera.
Right.
Why can I not have my gun at the opera?
You notice that all the stores have places, no guns, no guns.
You're like, dude, aren't we in North?
What's the point of having the gun if I can't bring it inside?
Well, here's the deal.
I mean, we've been a bunch of buffoons and goofballs.
But my suggestion to everyone with children is to just fucking not get so attached.
My name is Tim Dillon.
The special that we're talking about is called Mom Love.
And we need a lot less of mom and dad love.
Giannis Poppis is on YouTube right now.
Mom Love.
It's a full hour special.
Very, very funny.
And my special coming out soon.
We just got an offer today, so it might not be on YouTube.
We'll see.
Support the sponsors of the show if you enjoy the content.
We really do appreciate it.
People get mad at the ad reads.
You go, they're not funny anymore.
Well, here's the reality, folks.
Some of these companies are just paying too much money for us to be funny, and they don't understand that if we're funnier, more people would actually buy the product.
So if these companies are listening, the reality is if we're able to do funny ads, people buy the product more.
I always fight for the funny ads.
And there are some companies that will still let us do the funny ads, but some won't.
And, you know, what do you want me to do?
Not earn money?
They won't even give us the ads.
This is how dumb people are.
People are like, isn't it enough to patreon?
And they're not Southern because the Southern people understand I should have a fiefdom.
But it's probably like people are like, don't you understand?
It's Patreon's enough.
Why do you even have ads?
I go, because we want more than less money.
It's America.
Also, dummy, if there would be no ads.
Like, for example, there would never have been ads and they won't give, I won't have ads and I won't do any of the ads.
Like, if I don't do them the way they want me to do them, I just won't have them.
Right.
Every now and then a company will let us do a funny ad.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, the problem is I've explained to these companies that funny ads are actually better because they're longer and people don't skip them and they actually buy the product.
But the problem is a lot of companies now are getting a little upset at some of these funny ads.
You know, what do you want me to do?
I don't know what to do.
But these products are still great.
What do we have?
The watch and the underwear, the underwear?
On it.
We have athletic greens.
I mean, you're not going to buy on it.
These are great companies.
On it was a supplement company started by popular podcaster Mark Maron.
These are great companies.
And I'm telling you right now, if you miss out on a box of awesome, are they still with us?
They're still with us.
Yeah, yeah.
If you miss out on a box of awesome, which is they'll give you a little wooden box with a, you know, like a pipe and a couple of sticks of dynamite.
If you miss out on that, your fault, your problem.
Giannis, are you promoting anything?
Where are you going to be?
Tell them where to find you.
God help them.
The special, please just go watch the goddamn special.
You're going to love it.
It's a good hour.
People seem to really like it.
People are enjoying it.
People, the people want it.
Writing New Acts00:01:49
Yeah.
So just go watch that and listen to my podcast.
People want it.
Long Days with Giannis Pappas.
We're putting all the links in the description.
It'll be out this Saturday.
Giannis Papas on Twitter.
Science Journalist, Heehaw, Long Days Podcast.
Go watch his special.
As always, we have a Patreon right now with Out Right Now with Sal from the Impractical Jokers, which is funny.
And what else we got cooking?
What else are you?
What are you doing there?
Oh, you're on the road.
You have dates to prepare.
I have two dates.
I have, if you haven't seen me, I'm Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
I'm at the funny boat in Richmond, Virginia.
God help me.
God help me.
And two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, one show Sunday.
I mean, who's buying tickets to this?
Are they nuts?
It's Memorial Day.
But anyway, comment will be great.
16 through the 18th, San Jose.
Absolute last dates, probably like last headlining dates for like six months minimum, probably.
And then I'll be just doing spots out there.
But, you know, get it while the get in's good, folks.
I don't know what to tell you.
Oh, I got one.
If you listen to this, I'm Saturday.
This show.
I'm in Newport, Rhode Island at the Jane Pickens Theater.
Go fly to see me in Richmond.
Jane Pickens Theater, May 28th, Newport, Rhode Island.
Part of the Rogue Island Comedy Festival.
Doug Key, great guy.
September 9th through 10th, Uncle Vinny's in Port.
Well, that's a little bit out, isn't it?
It's out there.
I'm taking a little time off.
I got to write a new act.
You got to write a new act, and you have a child.
I have a child.
And you need to train.
I need to train her in military tactical defense.
Yeah, and she's Greek.
She'll take to it.
She'll take to it very well.
She'll take to it.
She'll have AR-15 and a full beard when she's five.
Absolutely.
It's going to be her two-year-old birthday present.