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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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The Candy Corn Controversy00:01:57
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
Take a look at this.
I have a hot take.
I have a hot take.
I actually like candy corn.
I do too!
I don't want to lose it!
You're also dressed like a candy corn.
It's so controversial to say these.
If you say that you like candy corn, people will like walk away.
It's so funny.
I just said that yesterday, and I was like, it tastes like buttery syrup to me.
How is this Buttersworth?
Melts in your mouth and has like a little crust on the outside anyway.
Dude, I'm not kidding.
I wrote out a tweet that said, guys, I kind of like candy corn and I deleted it because I, or I backspaced on it because I was like too controversial.
Cancel.
Not anymore.
Please stop that.
Don't you see my point now that if Chrissy Teigen was eating children, it would be the coolest thing about her.
Like, don't you get it now?
Don't you understand that a lot of this QAnon shit makes these people look cooler than they are?
Like, oh yeah, she's some like high priestess of the satanic religion.
She's like a dumb trash bitch who somehow figured out a way to get famous.
And she's sitting with Whitney talking about candy corn.
I mean, you know, God bless Whitney.
That Wendy Williams, what a, what a woof.
That was a big disaster that week.
And we love Whitney, but that week was a very large disaster.
Whitney subbing in for Wendy Williams, who's, I believe, in rehab or something.
Something like that, yeah.
Or and I don't, if she's not in rehab, I don't want to say she's in rehab.
And mental health relief.
Let me double check on that.
Whatever's going on with her, we wish her well.
And DeStefano went on there and he had, yeah, he had a rough go of it.
Yeah.
Whitney's Rehab and Chaos00:14:37
It's not an audience for comedy.
They don't really want jokes.
They want Wendy Williams, who is hilarious and you can't compete with Wendy Williams.
Just like the SNL audience, they don't really want comedy.
They want to hear stuff and they want to go, yeah.
Like they want to like energetically agree.
And they want, it's like a pep rally.
It's just like a pep rally for people that like are not doing good and feel upset and got free tickets to a show and they want to get like, you know, pumped up.
That's what it is.
What is this?
I want to talk about this, this cool mom who's going to jail because I hate that.
I hate when a rat implicates a cool mom.
Everybody knows that when you were in high school, you were in this weird in-between between being a child and being an adult.
You got to learn how to be an adult.
And learning how to be an adult involves drinking, using drugs, and having sex.
And a lot of times you need like a safe environment or sometimes an unsafe environment to do all of those things.
That's where the cool mom becomes a thing.
Kathy Griffin used to talk about this, like how Lindsey Lohan's mom, Dina Lohan, was like, you know, one of the moms that would like, you know, do Coke with the kids and stuff, you know?
But, you know, we had families like that.
We had a woman when I grew up who had like a, you know, a big eye, one big eye and sold us all drugs.
And we loved her because it's in someone's got to treat you like an adult.
This is my point.
Somebody's got to treat you like an adult, even when you are undeserving of being treated like an adult.
This woman had the goal, the unmitigated goal to treat children like adults.
Kids that are raging hormones that need a place to do drugs and fuck each other safely in a wealthy suburban home.
This woman provided a, what, a 6,000 square foot house?
Big.
Yeah, a huge house with many different rooms and alcoves and places to go.
And she created this environment where cool kids or kids that were in the group were able to go and get really drunk, test their limits, find out how much booze was too much booze.
How are you supposed to learn this before you go to college and you look like an idiot?
You have to learn it in high school.
You have to learn how much booze is too much booze.
What drugs agree with your system?
What drugs don't?
You know, and what she did was create a vibe, truly.
And she threatened a few people because cool moms, badass bitches like this woman have to threaten the weak because the weak are would-be rats who ruin it for everybody.
And I mean, let's get into this story a little bit because as soon as I read it, I knew that a great injustice had been done.
And one of the things that you know about me is I feel comedy is a way to correct all the injustices of the world.
That's the way I feel.
I don't think it is funny or should be funny.
I think it should be about injustices and just to discuss trans people from any angle, pro, against, confused.
And you know that the Democrats are new doing, they're now doing the bill that Joe Manchin and Kristen Sonema, they're going forward with the bipartisan infrastructure bill and they're carving out money so that Dave Chappelle does five more specials all about trans people.
And I thought it was a good compromise.
I like that.
Quote here, glad she's gone.
Los Gatos reels after mom arrested for drunken teen sex parties.
Shannon O'Connor was known as the cruel, the cool but creepy mom.
Read some of this, Ben, because I read this.
I was incensed and enraged.
And I don't really have an infrastructure to go and try to help this woman, but if I did, I really would.
So O'Connor is now facing 39 criminal charges, including 12 felony counts of child endangerment.
This is more than bin Laden.
This is more than Osama bin Laden would have faced.
By the way, all of the people who've done all of the things, the destroying of people's property, the burning down of small businesses, nobody's like facing anything.
This woman is facing 39 criminal charges, 12 felony counts of child endangerment for, quote, allegedly plying teens with alcohol, getting them drunk to the point of vomiting and encouraging them to have sex.
You know what that used to be called?
Being cool.
What the fuck?
It used to be called being cool.
She's not fucking the kids.
She's not watching them fuck.
She doesn't have a Jeffrey Epstein-style surveillance system, right?
From what I understand.
She's simply creating the conditions, facilitating what may happen anyway.
Maybe she's lighting a fire under a few of their asses to get it going.
And she's being charged with...
I knew parents back in the day who would buy us alcohol.
My grandmother would buy us a bottle of vodka when we were in senior year.
What is going on here?
What are you supposed to do at a high school party?
You're supposed to get drunk.
If you're not drinking at a high school party, you're planning a school shooting.
What is wrong?
It's like the craziest thing I've ever heard.
This woman is being treated.
Now, she did chase down one of the girls and threaten her in the car.
But again, you have to keep a tight circle.
And this is the thing that there was one kid we used to hang out with where his parents, if there was a fight at the party, like his mother would start beating people.
And she'd start like, there was a kid on the ground.
She was kicking them.
They have to defend their homestead.
Because when you decide to be the parents that allow debauchery and that type of thing to go on, when you allow parties, when you allow fun, when you make room for fun, when you open the door to a good damn time, people will threaten it.
Outsiders come in, they get too drunk, they disrespect you, they threaten to rat, and you gotta control them physically.
Many a time have I seen fights where like the parents just get involved because they have to defend their home.
The arrest comes a year after a number of Los Gatos high school students started a quote, Me Too Los Gatos movement.
Can you imagine this?
Can you imagine this, by the way?
A high school student started a Me Too Los Gatos movement complaining about, quote, rape culture at the school and staging a rally on campus.
At the time, school officials said they could do little but contact local police about activities off campus, which they said they did in the O'Connor case when a parent complained.
O'Connor, 47, was arrested in Idaho.
A message left on her cell phone Wednesday afternoon was not returned.
She and her husband, tech executive Robert Amaral, put their $4.7 million home on sale, right?
To move to Idaho with O'Connor and her three sons.
She's got three kids, a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old middle schooler.
And I think it was a 15-year-old and his friends that she was, which is a little young.
It is a little in the defense of the people, maybe overreacting.
15 is a little young.
17 senior year is a little bit more appropriate, but we had some fun junior year too.
And I guess when you start junior year, you are 15.
Okay, so she would go on Snapchat and talk to the kids and get them all to come to their house and get boozed up.
And fuck.
This is what she did.
And people have a problem with this.
I mean, again, don't people realize one sophomore girl goes, I'm glad she's gone.
It makes me feel safer.
She purchased alcohol of the teenagers' choosing.
How cool is that?
And encouraged them to have sex in her home in a rented beach house in Santa Cruz and in a cabin in Lake Tahoe.
Jesus Christ, you kids don't know how good you have it.
Don't you know that this is never going to happen again?
Nobody's ever going to buy you the alcohol you want and say, come fucking Lake Tahoe on my dime.
It will never happen again.
Yes, this bitch had some freak shit going on.
Yes, probably there was something wrong.
I don't know.
I'm not a doctor.
But just looking at this, if somebody says, come fuck at my beach house in Santa Cruz and I'll get you fucking looped up with the booze of your choice, I'm telling you right now, I know it's offensive and horrible, but wait a few years, you're going to be dying.
These same puritanical monster children are going to be at college with their pussies hanging out of a window trying to get fucked and they're assholes and dicks.
I'm not gendering this, but these same kids in a few years are just going to be, they're going to be dying the fuck in a beach house in Santa Cruz.
Now, I do understand the concern here that the parents, I get it, because it's like, is she fucking the kid?
It is weird because why is she so into it?
Which is weird.
I get it.
I understand that.
But I'm talking really more to the kids now.
If you're a parent and you're freaked out about this, I totally understand.
But to the kids right now, you're kind of being bitches about this.
Truly.
So in one case, when a girl was so drunk, she passed in and out of conscious in a bedroom.
O'Connor brought in a teenage boy who sexually assaulted her while the girl cried.
Okay, well, now this isn't good.
I don't read the whole article before I do the show.
I don't really do the whole thing.
I do cliff notes.
You know what I mean?
I don't go in and I'm, am I a prosecutor?
Am I a lawyer?
Do you think I'm a lawyer?
So now this isn't good, but this is the first I'm hearing of this.
And the girl says, quote, why did you leave me in there with him?
The girl later asked O'Connor, the complaint said, like, why, like, why did you do that?
You knew like what he was going to do with me.
First of all, too many likes.
I'm not saying it deserves sexual assault, but way too many likes.
O'Connor just laughed.
It's unclear whether any of the boys who are juveniles will face any penalty.
Some of the teenagers were so drunk, they told authorities that one nearly drowned in a hot tub and another in a bathtub.
But that's funny.
Now, the rape is not.
But I don't know.
Here's the thing.
That's one boy suffered a concussion when he fell off the back of O'Connor's car.
She'd been driving the boys around while they were drinking, allowed her son to drive in the school parking lot where the other boy was hanging on the back and lost his grip.
I mean, I mean, here's the deal.
The bitch liked to have fun.
Again, we don't, I don't, I'm not, this is no good about the sexual assault thing.
That is not good.
I didn't realize that.
I thought this was more of just kind of like, get the kids drunk and we drive around the school parking lot.
I mean, what is the woman's really psychotic because she's doing it in the school?
I mean, it's wild.
They moved there specifically because the son met a girl online playing a video game and that's why they moved to the school to encourage him to like hook up with her and the whole thing.
So it's very, it's very orchestrated and very weird and planned.
Something's wrong.
We know that.
We understand that.
But is it hack to just have the same take that everyone else is going to have, which is like, damn this woman to hell?
I'm trying.
Now she's accused of a $120,000 embezzlement scheme.
I'm trying to help you, Shannon, and you're making it hard.
They make it so hard.
You may have noticed this website has been using the nickname, quote, cool mom, correct?
I appropriated that to describe Shannon O'Connor.
And by the way, even the fucking people are saying cool mom.
The 47-year-old Los Gatos woman accused of throwing alcohol-fueled sex parties for teenagers and then moved to Idaho where she was accused of doing the same there.
But we are merely using the vernacular of the kids.
As the Mercury News reported, when the story broke, O'Connor 47 was apparently known as the cool mom since the older son was in middle school and had raised eyebrows among some parents for her chumminess with the son's friends.
You think it comes out that she was just fucking the kids?
It's very possible, yeah.
It would have come out already, probably, though.
We all feel that she's a threat to the community.
We experienced her.
I had, you know, we had People in Long Island that were fun, that parents that would allow us to drink and use drugs, and they would drink and use drugs with us, but they never really encouraged sex.
I think the worst thing that happened once was somebody I knew had sex with a girl, and the father at the house watched it.
Like my friend noticed he was just sitting in a corner watching.
But that was the worst that happened.
But nobody knew beforehand that that was going to happen.
Quote, we are very grateful that the judge decided this today and didn't prolong this.
And we got to be careful with how to title this on YouTube because they're going to give us all kinds of problems.
Yeah.
We had dinner with some YouTubers the other night, and it's all in the titles.
Los Angeles Dinner Disaster00:05:48
Nice people, huh?
Did you enjoy the dinner?
It was great.
I had fun.
I had a lot of fun.
I had a lot of fun.
It's good to speak to people in Los Angeles.
It really is.
I like to do these little dinner things and see where people are at.
I want to see where people's heads are at.
I think it's funny.
And here's my thing with Cool Mom.
You know, listen, as I read on, it's more complex than I had originally thought.
I thought she was just getting people boozed up and saying you guys can fuck in the house.
But she's leading people in the room.
There's people getting assaulted.
That's not good.
She's denied bail.
Now they're accusing her of a 120 grand embezzlement scheme.
What does that mean?
So $120,000 in personal charges on company credit cards belonging to her former employer.
That's a lot of booze for the kids.
I think I was reading and there's tons of articles about this.
I was reading she like got limos for the kids and there's a lot of stuff charged on.
I'm going to tell you this.
I'm going to tell you this.
Many of the kids are going to look back and say that these were the greatest times of their lives.
Not all of them, but many of them are going to look back and say, these were the days.
And it's sad.
But I remember, you know, we didn't, nobody in Long Island was a saint who was parenting us, letting us have parties.
Nobody was a saint, but here's what we were able to do.
Of course we would drink and vomit and people would have sex and there would be fights and whatever.
You know, the parents' job, I would hang out with the parents.
I was the one who hung out with the parents because I didn't want to have sex with the women.
And I enjoyed my friends and we would get drunk, but I was always curious about how much money all the parents had.
I always thought it was funny, right?
I wanted to know how much money the parents had.
So I would always talk to the parents, you know, about all kinds of things, the changing neighborhood, you know, a lot of the things that were going on.
Because I knew how to get into their circle of trust.
You know, I would just sit down in Long Island.
In Long Island, if you want to get into someone's circle of trust, you just sit down, you have a drink, you stare at them, and you go, things feel different.
Am I wrong?
And they will go on for an hour.
They'll be like, you're not wrong.
And here's why.
If this wasn't all creepy, you know, if we know that O'Connor and her two sons were found with at least 10 other teenagers in their Idaho home on the day that O'Connor was arrested two weeks ago.
So the parties likely continued there with a different group of teens.
So she, the cops roll in, and she's got 10 kids at the house partying.
And the whole reason they moved there, it says the son met someone while playing Fortnite online and they believe that O'Connor moved with her sons to Idaho in order for her son to pursue a romantic relationship with this girl.
And the mother of the girl said that O'Connor herself would lavish the girl with gifts, including roses, a $200 Tiffany necklace, and food deliveries.
Is it wrong to want the best for your children?
Is it wrong to want the best for your children?
These millennials.
Now, let's talk about this article in the New York Times.
I'm thinking of selling my car.
I don't want to drive anymore.
You know, you and Ida made a good case that you thought I was going to kill someone with my car.
And I, and because I have ridge issues and stuff, but I'd like to drive fast, but I think I'm going to get rid of it because I don't like driving.
And I'll have a car in Texas when I'm there.
But when I'm in L.A., I kind of don't want a car.
And I should start drinking again, even though it's been 12 years.
If I don't have a car, is there anything wrong with me recreationally drinking and using drugs?
What if the only thing keeping me sober was driving?
Oh, man.
Right?
Would you feel pretty stupid then, huh?
Yeah, I would.
You convinced me to get rid of my car.
But it's true.
You should drive because you're like a wage slave and I'm regal.
And a king should never drive.
He should be driven.
That's right.
But a wage slave.
And I want to get you a little box here for you to punch in and punch out.
I want to hear the sound.
By the way, the supply chain, there's ports.
We went to a crate and barrel the other day.
The people that are still left in the workforce are losing it.
This lovely woman was like, she's like, there's, there's ships in the port of Los Angeles and they have all of our stuff.
She goes, our stuff is on those ships.
She was coming apart.
Lovely woman helped us a lot, but coming apart.
And here's a headline.
It says a record number of container ships waiting to enter ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach.
There's a shortage of workers and stuff with the Coast Guard or the, what is it, the Port Authority?
I don't know.
But whatever it is, it's a massive problem where if you ordered a fucking Ottoman, it is sitting on a ship, a container ship, out on the port.
You almost want to take a boat out there and grab it and then boat back in.
But we're going to talk now about this article that I read that I thought was, the New York Times writes a lot of articles that don't need to be written.
And this is one of them.
Gen Z Nihilism Explained00:15:19
The 37-year-olds are afraid of the 23-year-olds who work for them.
Quote, 20-somethings rolling their eyes at the habits of their elders is a long-standing trend.
But many employers said there's a new boldness in the way Gen Z dictates taste.
You know, we were talking about this last night at the little dinner.
There's a nihilism.
The Gen Z people that I've spoken to, whether it's the TikTok kids or people that have helped us with things, there's a nihilism to them, which is quite productive.
And the nihilism is a reflection of they have seen so many institutions either lose credibility or outright fail in their lifetime.
So the collapse of institutional credibility, which has been so widespread, has impacted the way they look at the world.
And a lot of these kids now are self-starters.
They're independent.
They are early adapters onto things like TikTok.
They get on there.
They build things.
They don't know what they're building.
They don't know why they're building it.
Some of them might, but I think they understand that they cannot wait.
They cannot wait for any institution to give them a shot.
And I think there's something that's very positive about that, right?
I also believe there are many issues with that generation in terms of the fetishization of mental health,
of sexual politics. of many other trends that I don't see as positive as I see the fact that independence and being a self-starter and being somebody who is not reliant on these archaic systems and structures.
That is good.
But I think some of these other things are a bit childish.
But that's okay because I'm on my way out, right?
I'm 36.
I'm heading towards 37.
I'm out.
And you have to realize this, your late 30s.
It's uncomfortable to realize that you're no longer, you don't matter and the things you believe don't matter.
You will hit peak earning, I guess, in your 30s, 40s, 50s.
That seems to be, when if you can put together some type of career, that's the best years of your career.
But what does that mean?
The best years of your career, and Bill Burr talks about this.
It's like when you have a kid, you just go in a sinkhole for 18 years and you don't know what's going on.
Then you stick your head back up and you're like, wait, what happened?
The same as when you hit like a stride in your career, you're not culturally, you know, looking at everything and taking everything in.
You're not, you don't have as much time to do the things that young people do to kind of steer culture.
You just don't.
You're not tweeting about your favorite band when you're 40.
I hope not.
Some people are.
But people are now with the rapper who did the Biden, the anti-Biden rap.
You know, all of a sudden, everybody on Facebook, my aunt loves rap now.
My aunt loves rap.
She spent years talking about how it was the scourge of the inner cities.
Her words.
Now she loves rap.
But the vast majority of people aren't.
But this article in the New York Times is basically saying that like millennials, the millennial generation is like a soft generation, but they're weirdly conniving, emotionally manipulative.
They all want gold stars.
They're kind of despicable.
They are institutionalists, the millennials.
They are people that love getting pats on the back and ribbons pinned to them.
From what I, you know, and I am a millennial and I've seen the way millennials behave.
It was the generation that talked about college Aids and getting into college Ads and you got to fill out your applications and everything was just this mad dash for some type of acceptance.
It was this very visceral.
You could see it on people's faces need to be told that they were good enough and that they did the quote unquote right thing.
And it was formulaic.
And the way that we were brought up was that we were just threatened with college, threatened if you didn't go to college.
What will people think of you?
And you won't be able to find any work and you better live in fear.
It was a fear-driven culture.
And that's the millennial culture to me.
Gen Z seems a lot more nihilistic.
They don't seem to be looking for approval as much, even though as human beings, we all do.
But those are the main differences that I've noticed, you know, that they seem to be black-eyed nihilists as the Big Lebaski, right?
Isn't that the quote?
Yes, that's right.
Yeah.
I mean, These people, Gen Z, seem to be a lot more independent and they lay things on the table a little bit more than I think millennials would.
I think there may be, dare I say, less baggage with some of the, and I, again, I know highly productive people from the generation.
I don't know people that aren't doing anything.
But from this article, a lot of it is like, hey, you know, Gen Z people telling their bosses, when I'm done with my tasks, can I go?
Can I leave?
And again, is that some of that laziness?
Maybe, but I think some of it is like, you know, do you know how much wasted time that millennials wasted in offices?
You know, going out for hour and a half long lunches and going and, you know, how long it took someone to open a box of Keurig K-cups for the coffee machine and how much bullshit went on that wasn't work.
And it became like this weird environment for people to enjoy being in my suit and tie and I'm drinking coffee at the desk.
And it was this weird performative life.
And Gen Z people are kind of like, hey, man, let me out of here.
If I'm done, let me get the fuck out.
Let me leave.
Can I leave?
I did what you wanted me to do.
Let me leave.
Also, Gen Z has no respect for their bosses.
You don't have any respect for the people that are.
And now that has positives and negatives.
You don't want to completely not have respect for people, but you should never be completely bowled over or too impressed with anybody, especially if your job eventually is going to be to do what they do.
You know, you should have a, you know, pretty reasonable assessment of what they do, how they do it better than you.
And a lot of these people are noticing that these people actually don't do anything better than me.
They've just sucked off the right people.
They've played the corporate game long enough.
They have the right bullshit, fake, superficial manner about them that has allowed them to like fail upwards and ascend the corporate ladder.
So these little nihilists are coming to the office, refusing to respect these people.
And one of them, they actually, one of the young people in this article asks the team leader or the boss, the manager, to do something.
They're like, can you do it?
And like, managers hate that when they're asked to do a task.
Like a lot of these people are just completely like, they're completely shocked that they would be asked to do something.
Also, they're a lot more political, which can get annoying because they want you, you know, they want your kombucha to, you know, make a stand.
They want your kombucha, you know, to start talking about controversial political topics.
They are much more willing to do that stuff.
You know, they're calling you the kids these days, effect.
They've noticed it's been happening for a while.
Each new generation brings something a little different.
But, you know, older generations are much more likely to go, hey, let's leave politics out of things.
And kids want everything to be political, younger Gen Z people.
I don't work in an office.
And one of the reasons I don't work in an office, I've spent a lot of time in an office, just like I've spent too much time in a car.
I've spent too much time in an office.
Offices are, for the most part, not always, but you hit a wall and it's diminishing returns in an office.
And I think Gen Z is kind of realizing that.
The younger kids are realizing like, I could be out doing my own thing.
I could be on OnlyFans or I could be on Patreon or I could be on YouTube or TikTok or Twitch.
I could be on any of these platforms.
I could have an e-commerce business.
I could make shit and sell it.
I could go out and sell things.
I could do any number of jobs that don't require me to be here in this office staring at these people.
Because when you're in an office, you just end up staring at a lot of, you know, there was a woman, Doreen, we used to work with, who started in mortgages as a very sweet, nice mom.
She was like the mom of the office.
And she started as like a secretary.
And she was just a fun secretary.
She liked having a few drinks.
She'd always like, she was a sweet woman and probably still is, you know, a nice, not too far from cool mom, probably.
And as things progressed, she got into being a loan officer.
She like started to work as in the, but then by the end of it, she had to be fired for like stealing deals and it was a whole thing.
So what I'm saying is the culture can, you know, really do something to you.
So you got to watch out.
But I mean, if this is a hard article to care about either way, you know, here it goes like, yeah, some guy who owns a food business is like, he heard from junior staff asking if his company would post a black square in solidarity with the BLM movement on Instagram.
Elaine Purcell, 34, co-founder of the maternity care startup, Ula, got a slack message from one of her youngest workers after the shootings at Atlanta area spas in March asking what the team could do in solidarity with Asian Americans.
So they are more politically minded, the young people.
Yeah.
And then one of the quotes is, you talk to older people and they're like, dude, we sell tomato sauce.
We don't sell politics.
Said Mr. Kennedy, co-founder, plant people.
Then you have younger people being like, quote, these are political tomatoes.
This is a political tomato sauce.
Yeah, I mean, this is the big divide, right?
Seemingly, the millennials, one good thing about the millennials, if there are good things about the millennial generation, is that maybe they know when to shut up.
Maybe they do.
I don't even know.
I'm positing that.
And the only reason I say that is because at the end of this article, they all go on some retreat and they said the Gen Z people were much more likely to like, yeah, here we go.
Somebody, Emily Fletcher, who runs Ziva Meditation, noticed at her company retreat, the junior people were the ones who were most comfortable stretching the bounds of what's considered professional conversation.
This became apparent when the staff participated in an exercise she calls the Suffy Awards, sitting around the campfire and sharing personal sources of suffering from last year.
By the way, who's doing that?
The Suffe Awards.
Sitting around a campfire and sharing personal stories of suffering from last year.
This is a perfect example of what millennials do.
They go, we want to hear about all your suffering and we're going to award you based on who suffered the most.
It makes everything this weird game.
Everything this weird need to win.
It's odd to earn recognition.
Your suffering should earn you recognition.
Okay.
So she said about Gen Z, quote, they celebrate human emotion instead of having an outdated framework of what corporate should be.
Her company culture has relaxed even more.
But here, go up there.
Go up for a second.
Ms. Fletcher said, getting the most vulnerable by speaking about partners cheating on them.
So these kids were speaking at the Suffey Awards about partners cheating on them or about the loneliness of a solo quarantine.
This is maybe where you go, just shut up.
Truly, they'll use it against you.
They're going to use it against you.
all the things you're admitting to them at the Suffy Awards.
Why are you, why?
I would not go.
If they're like, we're doing a retreat, we're going to sit around a campfire.
It's like, this is why I've never, even when I was in sales, I wanted to stay away from corporate America because when people start saying we're going to a campfire, I'm like, no, we're not.
We are not doing that.
Yeah, we're going to sit around and tell each other.
No, corporate friendship building exercises, not for me.
Truly not for me.
And this is where I kind of draw the line.
This is why I could never function in like a corporate company other than Spotify.
Because if Spotify were to hand me money, then I would absolutely go sit by a fire and talk about all of my problems.
But yeah, I mean, it's interesting to see what the future, please, what is this?
What keeps going on here?
Is Ina.
What?
About what?
I'm not sure.
I can check.
She wanted to pick up your odometer.
We're not there.
Tell her to get it tomorrow.
Christ almighty.
Fuck.
Enough.
But it's interesting.
I spoke to Anakashin about this a lot about the kind of millennial narcissism and the idea that everybody needs to get a medal.
Unlike me, I deserve it.
I get nothing.
I deserve all the medals and I'm given nothing.
So here's the Facebook shit.
Now they're changing their name to Meta.
I'm old enough to remember when Facebook was, you know, college kids trying to get laid.
By the way, if Facebook was still functioning like that, we wouldn't need Cool Mom to be driving kids around, getting them slammed.
But because Facebook is no longer functioning as a dating app for children, it is now functioning as a place for elderly people to scream into the void, to post pictures of their dead dogs, to talk about their knee operations, and to start, you know, these long threads where people are trying to educate each other on all manner of topics.
Selling Maids on Facebook00:14:50
And they think the problem with Facebook is misinformation.
All social media is misinformation, whether it's Russia or your mother-in-law.
Everybody on Facebook is lying.
And so you have a whistleblower and this bitch comes out and Facebook is now changing their name to Meta, which is weird.
There's a restaurant in Long Island I like did that.
Still good restaurant.
Facebook fails to moderate harmful content in developing countries.
What did this whistleblower do?
Why is she what is the big deal here?
Basically, she's saying that they're focusing, they care more about profit than the safety of their users.
So they allow hateful content and hate groups and people like that to spread tons of misinformation that gets people.
But those are their users.
Hate groups are your users.
If someone's starting a hate group on your platform, they are a user.
Are they not?
Quote, Facebook was aware that maids were being sold on its platform.
Internal documents show that Facebook admitted it was, quote, under-enforcing on confirmed abusive activity when it failed to take action after Filipina maids complained of being abused and sold on the platform, according to the Associated Press.
Quote, in our investigation, domestic workers frequently complained to their recruitment agencies of being locked up in their homes, starved, forced to extend their contracts indefinitely, unpaid, and repeatedly sold to other employers without their consent.
One Facebook document read.
In response, agencies commonly told them to be more agreeable.
That's not horrible advice.
So what is it?
Is it Facebook's fault that people are using Facebook to buy and sell maids?
Yeah, and like the January 6th stuff.
Should I post a status right now?
Anybody want a maid?
I'm going to post a status and see if it gets taken down.
Let's test this right now.
I'm going to do it to see if it actually works here.
Okay.
I'm posting a status right now.
What's on your mind?
Does anyone want a maid?
I have one chained up in my chained up in my basement.
She will work.
You can hit her.
And then under it, I'm going to write test.
See that?
Does anyone want a maid?
I have one chained up in my basement.
She will work.
You can hit her.
Test.
Post.
Let's see what happens.
Okay.
I was unaware of this, that people were buying and selling maids.
Is this only in the Philippines?
Yeah, so they're really bad at managing things in other countries because they can't speak the language very well.
So then there's like hate groups in like India against like Muslim people.
If you are determined to sell a maid, aren't you going to sell a maid?
I mean, this is the reality.
How many roadblocks do we have to put up before people realize that if you were what do you mean that AI struggles with non-English languages?
Isn't this a highly sophisticated artificial intelligence system?
For like English, yeah.
They can't understand Filipino?
Apparently not.
It says they support 50 languages when in reality, most of those languages get a tiny fraction of the safety systems that English gets.
So they kind of with the other countries, they just kind of let them run amok.
Is the status okay?
Did they take it down?
It's still up.
Nice.
See, maybe this is a problem.
The Wi-Fi is not good here.
I have five likes.
Does anyone want a maid?
I have one chained up in my basement.
She will work.
You can hit her.
See, look, like Myanmar, they couldn't identify hate speech in Ethiopian languages.
So there was no safeguards for those countries.
Well, what are they doing that's so bad?
I don't care about hate speech.
I'm more concerned with the selling of the maids.
Well, yeah, that's the worst thing to me.
Don't you think the maids are like, can we stop focusing on the hate speech?
I'm in a closet.
I'm getting hit with a broom.
Doesn't that make more sense?
Yeah.
Facebook's algorithm mistakenly banned a hashtag referencing the quote Al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem's old city because it thought it represented the militant group Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, who are we like.
We are like them.
An armed offshoot is a secular Fatah party document.
Show a lot of our fans are in Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade.
The company later apologized.
But the accidental removal of content serves as a shining example.
I love that.
Serves as a shining example for how the social media giants' algorithms can stifle political speech due to language barriers and lack of resources outside of North America.
So this whole thing's about languages.
Yeah.
Something, I smell a rat.
I don't agree with this.
This can't be about that you don't understand what can I does anyone have a maid in Filipino language in Telugu or whatever the hell they speak.
I want to beat my maid in Filipino.
Nobody understands what that is.
Hey, my maid's dead.
Anyone got another one?
So as long as I write that in non-English, I'm okay.
Something's wrong.
But what about the whistleblower?
People say she's a creep.
Because Greenwald made a point.
A lot of this seems to be like, okay, we take the power away from these tech oligopolies, but then who gets it?
The government?
Does anyone feel better with the government running the show?
You don't think they're going to ban you?
They'll ban you.
This is her, Frances Haugen.
Where's she from?
Let me see here.
I know she's in Europe right now doing this whole thing.
This woman is a.
Is she like Snowden?
Is she going to have to leave the country?
She's from Iowa City.
Is Zuckerberg going to have her whacked?
I mean, Zuck, why don't you grow some balls and have this woman killed?
Truly, let's play with this creep, this creep sad with the sweet baby rays barbecue sauce in the back.
And I said that.
This guy, he doesn't, you know, sweet baby, he doesn't know that it goes on the food.
He's just trying to like be a human being.
But hey, Zuck, why don't you grow some balls and have this whistleblower fucking whacked?
Have her killed.
Have this bitch killed.
She's fucking your shit up.
So this is a...
Stop being a fucking pussy and have her killed.
Act like a fucking boss.
Why don't you ever act like a boss?
You always go into Congress and you're always fucking pale and weird and fucking equivocating.
Get this bitch stomped out.
American History X style.
Make her bite the curb.
Remember that scene?
Bite the curb and then with the boot?
Do it to this bitch.
I want you to watch her get killed, Zuck, like Khashoggi was getting tortured and then MBS watched it.
Again, allegedly, no issues with them.
Allegedly, he was watching it.
I want Zuckerberg to watch this woman get killed.
Let's see what he has to say.
I'm on his side here a little bit.
So this is the rebrand with Meta.
So this is a sneak peek at the Facebook metaverse.
Now, Meta is going to be a better place to sell the maids.
Is that what we're...
Because they're creating a world where maids will be sold seamlessly.
Okay, here we go.
I need a maid.
Are you coming?
Yeah, she's got to find something to wear.
All right.
Perfect.
Oh, hey, Mark.
Hey, what's going on?
What's up, Ma?
Whoa, we're fighting.
Here's the deal.
That big creature is the maid.
They don't show the real maid because she's bruised and bloody.
So what Zuckerberg has done is he has an avatar for his maid so that it disguises the substantial physical damage he's done to her.
Continue.
This is brilliant.
I respect this guy.
And for anyone confused, this is through VR goggles.
Right, because if you were to look at it in actuality, you would just see a bleeding Filipino maid.
Huh?
Who made this place?
It's awesome.
Who made this place?
The maid.
What happened to the maid?
Amazing.
This is cool.
This is like VR.
Of course it's me.
Hey.
Wasn't there a maid?
I hear knocking in the garage.
What happened to the maid?
I don't know.
I think she got sick.
Hey, wait.
The maid got sick.
Let's call her.
She's not around anymore.
Stop asking questions about the fucking maid.
Hey, should we deal you in?
Sorry, I'm running late, but you've got to see what we're checking out.
There's an artist going around Soho hiding AR pieces for people to find.
Wow.
3D street artists.
There's people in the Philippines going around hiding maids.
Are you guys up on that or no?
Or are you just concerned about the augmented reality?
Wait, Jason.
How about the actual reality where maids are getting beaten at that on your website?
Is anyone concerned with that or not?
If you guys like because you guys can't decode the Filipino language.
Let's see it.
This is like after 9-11 when the CIA doesn't understand Arabic.
I'm like, no, they understand it fine when they plan the attack.
They're like, well, the CIA didn't know anything about the attack because they don't speak Arabic.
I said, I think they spoke it well when they were training the hijackers in fucking Arizona.
Anyway.
And Florida.
Contact us for brand deals.
But do you see what I mean here?
And I want to end with Brian Laundry being alive because he is alive.
Brian Laundrie is being hid by his parents.
Canal, who opened for me, showed me this video of Brian Laundry being, the parents have a flowerbed in the backyard.
And you see this video.
I urge everyone to look at it.
Under the flowerbed, there's some weird thing that happens where you see a hand kind of go up.
I think she's passing him a note.
Here's what happened.
See, look at this.
Bizarre vital conspiracy theory claims Brian Laundrie is hiding under parents' flowerbed.
Bizarre conspiracy theory says Jeffrey Epstein has an island.
Bizarre conspiracy theory.
Now, here's the deal.
Is this going to be my Sandy hook, the laundry thing, where I have to come back?
Probably.
But I'm still sticking to this.
Brian Laundry is alive because they only found his teeth.
It's very easy to get somebody's teeth out of their mouth.
I don't know that they've made a positive idea in any of the other bones.
And the parents were in the park looking for him and said to meet the cops there.
They're like, meet us there.
And that was the day they found him.
Very strange.
Can you show the actual video, Ben, and not some fucking newsweek?
Yeah, I just clicked on the link.
It's a dead link.
Hold on.
Get the video up where you can literally see something going on.
There's a flowerbed.
They're around it.
And then all of a sudden you see something.
You see a hand.
If you close up on the video, you see a hand.
Something is coming out from the side of the flowerbed.
And it looks like a hand.
You can see it right there.
See it there again.
Go back.
Watch it again.
You see something coming out.
She looks like she's doing something.
And then all of a sudden, you see a hand come up like she's doing something.
And you see a hand come up.
Something is coming up.
That's strange.
Brian Laundrie is alive.
I'm calling it right now.
Should that be our first versus game?
Is Brian Laundry alive?
That website versus the app where you can predict things that are going to happen.
And I make really good predictions.
So we're going to start doing stuff with them.
But maybe that should be one of our first games.
Is Brian, like, when does Brian Laundrie get found?
Because I believe that Brian Laundrie is alive.
And you know why?
His parents are from Long Island.
When he came home and he's like, I choked that bitch out.
His parents were like, I told you she was no good.
You're my beautiful baby, his mother said as he stood there and confessed to killing his girlfriend.
You're my beautiful baby.
That bitch was no good, said his father.
And they're like, get under the flower pot.
We'll drug you up, take a few of your teeth.
This will be done in no time.
He's alive.
Brian Laundrie is alive.
We are going to the UK and we're very excited about it.
We are really going.
We're not fucking around.
We're announcing these dates in the UK.
It's been a dream of mine to do comedy in the UK.
I've already done it, but it's another dream, and I'm doing it again.
I've done it in Scotland, but we're going now to London.
We're going to Ireland.
We're going to Scotland.
It's going to be big, big, baby.
January 13th, we're in Dublin.
January 15th, we're in London.
January 15th, we're in London.
January 16th, we're in London.
January 16th, we're in London.
Do you get it?
15th and 16th, we're in London.
The 13th, we're in Dublin.
No Scotland, huh?
Apparently.
I wanted to do Scotland.
We're going to do Scotland soon.
Where could they go get tickets?
Okay, so the links, we will have them Monday, November 1st at 9 a.m. local time.
Tim's Artist Pre-Sale will start on Tuesday, 11-2 at 9 a.m.
We will pump this on social media.
There's a lot of people that want to come out to the UK.
We're excited to be there.
We want to eat some of their horrible food.
The only thing good there is Indian food.
And obviously, if you spend a lot of money to go to Michelin Star restaurant, you can get good stuff.
But I mean, everything else is just dog food.
The English roast is atrocious.
Maybe change my mind, as Steven Crowder would say.
English roast sucks.
Change my mind.
It's an overcooked piece of meat with Yorkshire pudding and tasteless gravy and mushy peas.
But maybe I'm wrong.
The Price of Being Cool00:06:00
Maybe I'll go out and have an amazing one.
But the food in England is quite literally for the birds.
But we hope that doesn't influence your buying of tickets.
We're going to have a good time.
We're back on the road.
We're in Indianapolis on the 3rd.
Indiana, there are tickets left on Wednesday.
We have two shows in Pittsburgh.
We've added a second show.
Okay, Carnegie Music Hall sold out.
Our second show is going to be there.
Really, really great.
And then Washington, D.C., one of my favorite places to do comedy.
There are some tickets left on Saturday.
So that's our little run for the next week.
And then we've got, of course, a ton of other dates on the website.
But we have Indianapolis, Morgantown, West Virginia.
I can't forget that.
So Indianapolis on the third, Morgantown, West Virginia on the fourth.
Then two shows in Pittsburgh on Friday.
Finally, Saturday in Washington, D.C. Opening for me, the great Sam Talent hosting the show, Cool Mom.
We're bailing her out.
Cool mommy.
Hey, man, I don't know what to say.
It's hard to make moral judgments, but sometimes they need to happen.
You should never be facilitating sexual assault.
And she seems to have a little weird relationship with the kids where she's Snapchatting the kids.
But, you know, I do recognize the value of this human being, the wild mother, the mother who doesn't accept that she's old, who wants to get fucked up with the kids.
This is an important, you need these train wrecks in your life to teach you what you don't want to be, but also allow you to drink and use drugs.
You should go from loving these parents to thinking, oh, this is a little sad.
First year of college, you start looking back and going, yeah, it's a little sad.
But you still have fun with them.
You still drink with them because it's kind of all they have.
But you need those people.
Those parents are essential when you grow up.
You didn't have any of that.
You didn't have any of this.
No, this is essential.
If you're a human, you know, it is essential to have these kind of, you know, somebody's mother's got to be a basket case, right?
Someone's mother's got to be a basket case who's unwilling to admit that she's old and she wants to hang out and party and get fucked up and teach you that life can be fun.
Life can be fun.
Breaking the rules can be fun.
Drinking when you shouldn't, getting fucked up in a big ass house and getting your dick wet.
Now, consensually.
So I don't know what Cool Mom was doing, but I'm happy to have her on the tour.
Stay away from Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook.
You know what they're doing over there.
They're selling maids.
That's what the whole site is now.
A bunch of maids for sale.
Let's see, by the way, if this worked.
Oh, the Facebook post?
Yeah, Ben.
Thanks for paying attention.
Notifications.
70 likes and comments.
And nobody is.
No, it's not down.
So Mark Zuckerberg, I have, does anyone want a maid?
I have one chained up in my basement.
She will work.
You can hit her.
And you did that 20 minutes ago.
That's enough time to make a transaction.
I've already sold my maid.
I don't need to have it up anymore.
The buyer has already come to my house and walked out of it with a chained-up maid.
Hey, thanks, Facebook.
This is what I mean about the social media.
Mark Zuckerberg is facilitating the beatings of maids.
And Cool Mom was just trying to have a little fun in the burbs.
And yet one of them's a billionaire and one of them's in jail.
Is that okay?
Well, I think not.
All the while, Brian Laundry is alive, living very comfortably under a flower bed with his Long Island degenerate parents in Florida.
I'm the only one who's bringing this up because the New York Times is writing about pussy millennials that are scared of nihilist Gen Z Cretans.
Well, how about ditching the office anyway?
Go and do your own goddamn thing.
You don't need fucking human resources.
You don't need corporate retreats.
Get on fucking Facebook and buy and sell a maid.
And if you don't do that, you're a fucking shill.
You're a cog in the wheel.
Facebook facilitates the buying and the selling of human beings.
Chattel.
Modern day slavery.
And there's not a goddamn thing we can do about it.
There's nothing we can do about it.
So you better embrace it.
You better sell or get sold.
If you are not selling a maid on Facebook, you're a maid that's going to get sold.
And I bet that's what Cool Mom said to the kids when she locked them in a room and she told them to fuck each other's brains out.
She said, you're either a maid getting sold or you're one doing the selling.
What do you think her last words were when the cops busted in and they put her in the back of the patty wagon and drove her away?
Cool mom looked at all those kids and said, listen, this is the price of cool.
I've seen a lot of people leaving cop cars, some of my friends' parents.
The price of being cool is leaving in a cop car.
Embrace the New Show00:08:16
Truly.
And that's what you probably mouth to the kids.
This is the price of being cool.
She said, let them say anything they want about me, but I was cool.
I let you get fucked up, didn't I?
I let you do whatever you wanted.
Let them say what they want about me.
Doesn't matter.
Because I ain't no maid.
And she got in the car.
And then they just drive her off into the metaverse.
And now Kumom will arrange child sex orgies in the metaverse.
And all will be right with the world.
It'll fix everything.
Just a bunch of avatars getting drunk and fucking in a 6,000 square foot home in Tahoe.
This is the society and world that we've created.
And this is the one that we must endure.
Goodbye until next week.
Get your maids.
Get them now.
Hello.
Colin Quinn, Tim Dylan, how are you?
Hi, Tim.
You're on my show.
You're on my podcast, and we're very excited about your new show.
Well, thank you.
Remember the first time, the last and last time I was on your podcast, about five or six years ago, I was doing my other show, and I remember distinctly saying, I'm doing you a favor, you know, here, and you know it.
And now, you might say the tables have turned.
That's how the world works.
Well, I don't know about that.
I'm very excited now.
Your last show was Red State, Blue State.
It was, I saw it.
It was hilarious.
Where are you going?
Are you going with the same idea of like, you do a brilliant job at like taking these very big ideas and making them funny?
Is that what the new show is?
Can you tell us like about the new show at all?
Well, put it this way.
If you don't like my new show, nobody will.
It discusses everything that's going on right now and then the, you know, and where it's all leading and what it all means.
That's how I feel about it.
It's funny, of course.
But I mean, that's the thing people have to remember in comedy.
Be funny at all times.
But yeah, it's the same thing, only it's obviously a different situation.
More dire, you might even say.
Me and you both know.
Every one of your projects is very ambitious.
Like everything you're like, it's everything that's going on, what it all means, and where it leads.
And most people now do a special on HBO, and they're like, what's it about?
And they're like, my mom's a drunk.
You know, like, I was poor.
It was weird.
I wore a dress to a Chick-fil-A.
Someone gave me a dirty look.
That's what my hour is about.
But I'm excited to see this.
Now, you're doing a run in New York City.
Yeah, I'm doing three weeks in New York.
And hopefully I'll be able to sneak over to the beacon and see your show.
I would love that if you can, but I figured that you were probably busy doing your show though.
I'm doing my shows, but I've had a couple of friends go see you undercover in California, and they said it's brilliant.
Well, that's very good of them.
And hilarious, by the way.
Oh, good.
Where did they go?
I think it went to not Irvine.
What's that other place?
Ontario, out in the desert.
Yes, Ontario.
Yeah.
I spent half of my set.
There was a circus next to me.
And I spent half of my set lamenting that I wasn't booked at the open-air tent circus next door because, I mean, when the world's ending, why pretend anymore?
Let's just get in the real tent.
Well, that's it.
I'm glad we have your manager and my good friend Brian will be coming.
So you let us know there'll be a ticket for you.
Where can people kind of grab tickets?
Are there tickets still available to your run or are they all sold out?
They're selling out quickly.
Just kidding.
There's plenty available.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now they can just go to ColinQuinn.com.
It's really, you know.
ColinQuinn.com to get tickets.
It's at the Lucille Lortel Theater.
It's a run from November 2nd to the 20th.
What I love about Colin is he does a run.
You do a run in one theater.
You get to know the theater.
That's what I really respect about this.
What you do is like you just put on a show.
It's like that old tradition of New York theater that I used to be a part of when I was nine years old, where you would do a run for three to four weeks in one theater in the village in like a black box theater.
That was my out-of-town run.
Yeah.
And are you touring it afterwards after New York?
People used to, you know, the out-of-town run was Philly in those days.
Right.
Right.
I reversed it.
I make the out-of-town run, New York.
Yeah, I'm going to go.
You know, I'm going to go hit all the usual suspects.
We're talking about the Wilbur.
We're talking about Steel Stacks and Bethlehem.
We're talking about, you know, all those places, you know, those, you know, those former, formerly once great, you know, Lake Erie type places.
Yes, where comedy thrives, where comedy thrives.
If there's a mobile morgue, comedy's doing well.
Yeah.
Where men built, once built this country.
That's true.
We call them birthing persons now.
We're birthing persons.
We're birthing persons.
No, those old places are great to do stand up and it's great.
I just got back from Portland and Seattle.
And yes, it's a hotbed of anarchy and crime, but there's something brilliant about just the gray, rainy, heroin-addicted atmosphere.
The crowds are really great because they really want to laugh.
But it also probably genetically reminds you of our old country.
That's right.
That's right.
You ever see train spotting?
Yeah, that is right.
That's a good point.
Have you been back?
I'm going to Dublin to perform in January.
Have you been back there recently?
The last time I was there was three years ago, and it was amazing.
I mean, and you know, Mark Norman made the observation about the crowds.
He goes, these, because they're drinking the whole time.
Yes.
And he goes, he goes, these crowds are drinking the whole time, even with doing like 9:30, 10 o'clock shots.
He goes, but they are not easy.
You live and die off every joke.
Yes.
They want to hear exactly what you're saying next.
And they're not there.
There's no momentum with the Irish people where you're like, hey, Mojuna, as you know, shit from life.
There's no, hey, hey, hey, we're going to give you a free pass because the last one was good.
It's like, no, what's this one now?
But they were great.
Nick, it's a constant reassessment of what's going on at any moment.
But I'm excited to get over there and hopefully they, you know, they enjoy it.
And I just like a nice sad place to do comedy, you know?
Yes, I agree with you.
I mean, I was on stage at the Hollywood Improv the other night and it was a fun show, but you look it out, the audience, you go, we don't need to be doing this.
No, no, you're right.
We like bleak.
Bleak to us is funny.
Yes, that's good.
Everyone, ColinQuinn.com.
This is where you're going to get tickets to Lucille Laurentel Theater.
The run is November 2nd through the 20th.
And Colin, I hope, I mean, we're on the 11th, but I hope you can get over there.