Tim covers it all this week from the Kellogg cereal strike, to a cell of serial killers across the United States. He also goes into Seattle banning halloween, Chappelle's new special (and Hannah Gadsby's retort) and why the city of Austin, TX will never stop surprising him.Bonus episodes every week:▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshowSee Tim Live on the road:▶▶ http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:🩳 UNDERWEAR:Order with PROMO CODE Tim▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/🔒 VPN:Get three months free▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon🥣 CEREAL:Use code TimDillon for free shipping!▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon🔵 BLUE CHEW :Use promo TD▶▶ https://bluechew.com/🤖 MANSCAPED:Use code TIMD▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/👨🦱 HAIR LOSS:▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon📦 SHIPPING:Enter code TIMDILLON▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/🎧 HEADPHONES:For 15% off!▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE:Use code TIM▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/🛏️ BEDS:▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon🚗 INSURANCE:▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon🚬 QUIT SMOKING:Use code TIM:▶▶ https://lucy.co💆THERAPY▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD📦 BOX OF AWESOME▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off💊 MASF SUPPLEMENTS▶▶ https://masfsupplements.com/ use code TIMD for 10% OFF🧴 DUKE CANNON DEODERANT▶▶ https://dukecannon.com/ use code DILLON for 10% off💍 NORTHBANDS RINGS▶▶ https://www.northbands.com/ use promo code TIM for 20% offCERTIFIED PIEDMONTESE BEEF▶▶ 25% OFF with discount code TIMDILLON at https://www.cpbeef.comHELLO FRESH▶▶ Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/timdillon12 for 12 free meals including free shipping!GET ACRE GOLD and start investing in physical Gold today!▶▶ https://www.GetAcreGold.com/TimDillonMAKE CRYPTO SIMPLE!▶▶ Visit https://Dchained.com/Inner-Circle and sign-up today.BIRD DOGS!▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLONDOORDASH▶▶ Download the Doordash app and enter code TIMDILLON to get 25% off.SIMPLI SAFE▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20%DRAFTKINGS▶▶ Download DraftKings app and use the code TIMDILLON to get a free shot at a one million dollar prizeCROWDHEALTH▶▶Just go to https://JoinCrowdHealth.com/fit and enter code TIMDILLON at sign up.That’s 30 days to try risk free plus the Fitness Wearable.STEVEWILLDOIT▶▶ Subscribe on Youtube to Steve's channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC55JghDUfUatuLc1wp4uGoASign up for his merch drops at https://fullsend.com/▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃:📸 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/🐦 Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!:http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows📹 Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbgListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▶▶ Ed McMahonbenavery33@gmail.comhttps://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬#TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
And when she is with us, she says some very disturbing things and then goes back to where she lives.
And that's great, but she doesn't really know what's going on.
She's kind of fuzzy.
It just seems like she's like a fuzzy photograph, right?
Her hair is never quite done.
She's just kind of laughing.
And this is why it is.
Mullen does a great impression of her.
But every now and then, she gets real fired up.
You know, when someone insults Greta Thunberg or whatever.
She gets real fired up when a white guy does something bad.
So she looked at Ted Sarandos.
She's like, fuck him.
And she literally said, she said, hey, Ted Sarandos, just a quick note to let you know that I would prefer if you didn't drag my naim into your mess.
Now I have to deal with even more of the height and anger that Dave Chappelle's fans like to unleash on me every time Gabe gets $20 million to process his emotionally stunted partial worldview.
Fuck you and your amoral algorithm cult.
I do what?
With more backbone than you?
What is that word?
I can do more S shit shits.
I could do more shits with more backbone than you.
What?
But this is what I mean.
She's not fully with us.
She's not fully with us.
And God bless her.
She's a child of God.
She goes, that's just a joke.
Definitely didn't cross it along because you just told the world there isn't one.
Gatsby captured her.
Plus, yes, I watched the whole thing.
Leave me alone.
Trans is beautiful.
Comedy is dead.
I killed it.
Those are the hashtags.
It says here she's trans as well.
I didn't know that.
Well, I didn't either.
I had no idea.
Does she talk about this in the net?
I don't think so.
I don't remember it.
Canceling Halloween In Seattle Schools00:06:25
No, right?
I don't know.
Well, I want to see them, both of them, hash it out.
You know?
Who cares about any of this?
Comedy's dumb.
Stop watching it.
Stop watching comedy specials.
Get a life.
Truly.
Stop watching comedy.
Stop watching specials.
You have horrible lives.
You have horrible lives.
People are doing so much cool shit on this planet.
Stop watching fucking anybody talk for an hour except this show because this is different.
But the others out there are wasting your time.
Not me.
Never would.
I respect you.
Stop.
Turn it off.
Turn it off and turn this on.
They're canceling Halloween in Seattle, which makes me think, or not canceling it, but there's a school in Seattle where they're banning the Halloween parade, which makes you glad I own a house in Texas because, you know, it's good to hedge your bets and you don't know what's going to happen with these people.
I don't know what's going to happen.
Seattle Elementary School cancels its annual pumpkin parade because it, quote, I don't even understand this.
Marginalizes students of color who don't celebrate Halloween.
Who are these students that do not celebrate Halloween?
I'm truly confused.
Benjamin Franklin Day Elementary School, by the way, how is that still the name of this school?
Benjamin Franklin Day Elementary School has canceled its upcoming Halloween parade because it, quote, marginalizes students of color.
Administrators claim that a number of students, especially African-American boys, do not celebrate Halloween and feel excluded.
I've never heard of this.
Have you heard of this?
You have our friends on the couch.
I've never heard that African-American boys do not celebrate Halloween.
No, never heard that.
I've never heard of that.
Unless they're Muslim, perhaps.
I guess, but I don't even know.
Are they, are they, what about all the gang initiations on Halloween?
There's tons of gang initiations on Halloween, and I think African-American boys probably participate in that, as do white boys and many young men.
So I hope we're not canceling that.
As a school with a foundational beliefs around equity for our students and families.
See, this doesn't, I don't even understand what this means here.
Let's get rid of the pumpkin parade event.
We're getting rid of the pumpkin parade and requesting that students do not come to school in costumes.
And I think part of it is that certain kids don't have money for costumes.
But that was always the way it was.
Forever, there's been Halloween parades where kids would show up and some of the kids had really cool costumes.
Some of the kids came in with costumes their parents made.
And then there was the dirty kid.
There's a kid named Ryan.
I don't want to say his name.
He was dirty, filthy.
And he would come in, white guy, Irish kid, and he would come in filthy.
And his parents would just beat him every day and night and they would piss on him.
And he never had anything.
And he would come to school.
And he always looked like high, but he was never high.
But I think he was just getting beaten so much.
And he was malnourished.
He used to eat like pixie sticks and fun dip.
You know, it was bad.
So this kid, Ryan, would come and he'd be embarrassed because he'd be like, oh, it's Halloween.
I don't walk in.
I forgot.
We're like, and it was rough.
It was very sad.
But then, like, the teachers would give him like a pumpkin mask so he could do the parade with everybody else.
So this poor kid who smelled like beer piss from a bar and who was still bloody from the parents just kicking the shit out of him would just put on a pumpkin mask and walk why if you cancel it, his life's not going to get better.
That's my point.
His life doesn't get better.
Ryan's parents don't decide to love him.
They don't even know the parade's happening.
They don't give a shit.
So he would be sad, kind of.
He would be sad.
I remember we went to his house once to smoke cigarettes.
And he goes, my house is kind of messy.
And I was like, but I hang out at Rosie's, the crack house, three doors down from him.
He goes, right, right.
I'm like, I don't care.
We don't care.
But we went in there and you could see just cereal and bed, just cigarettes, like ashtrays overflowing with cigarettes.
Like he had a bad life.
Certain kids have a bad life.
It's very, very hard, you know?
And he was the type of kid who they're talking about, like not, not, you know, privileged, didn't have parents that cared, and didn't show up with the uniform.
You know, like, I mean, I'm sorry, with the Halloween costume.
He didn't have.
So the teachers would like give him, because they had those little pumpkin masks.
They were plastic and they would, they would go on.
With the one string?
Yeah, it was one string.
It was not a lot.
It wasn't good.
But then there was like, there was a girl who was like 600 pounds.
They dressed her as a princess.
Like her parents brought her in and she was just like walking around as a princess.
And then like most of the kids had masks, right?
Cool kids have masks.
Like Freddy Krueger, like fuck it.
Yeah, we're going to kill you.
It's Halloween.
And then like the fat girl, like the real fat one, her name was Jennifer.
She would go like this.
Like she would just do this every day with her head.
I don't know why.
It might have been a thing, but she would go like this every day.
I know what you mean.
She would just do this every single day like this.
And they put her in a princess outfit and she would walk like this.
And then Ryan, who smelled like piss, would have his little thing.
It was nice is my point.
It was a nice day.
And you can't ruin this.
It's not, you can't take this away for kids.
Not everybody, it's insane.
Everyone celebrates Halloween.
Halloween is about eating candy and fucking smashing fucking car windows or throwing eggs, shaving cream, vandalism.
The idea that you would just vandalize things.
It's a beautiful idea.
And these are people that are pro-vandalism.
They love it.
Vandalism Starts With Halloween Chaos00:15:18
Well, where do you think people get the itch?
It starts with Halloween.
They don't just get into Antifa.
You start with Halloween.
You do a few, you know, a couple of eggs, a little shaving cream on the stop sign.
And then you, you know, you graduate to, you know, federal banks in Portland.
But I don't understand why they're taking this away.
Is there any reasoning for this at all?
Is there any reasoning?
They decided to cancel the event this year because it'd be upsetting for children who can't afford a costume.
That's awesome.
But then just buy them costumes.
You cheap fucks.
Why not buy them costumes?
Well, also, they cite the loud noise levels and crowds are triggering for some children.
Well, that I agree with.
I don't like the noise.
Get rid of it.
I do agree with that.
I don't like the noise at all.
That's a very good point.
All right.
Well, we'll have to skip it this year.
Moving on, we have a feel-good story.
That's a very good point.
I didn't realize that.
They yell and scream.
It is disgusting.
We have a feel-good story now coming out of Austin, Texas.
Now, we try to find these stories.
God help us, because as you know, things in the country are not good.
Inflation, the price of a McGriddle now is, what, $38?
One McGriddle, $38.
It's bad.
And the government just keeps telling you that if you complain about inflation, you're a Nazi white supremacist.
And the press secretary is always like, what is it?
I'm sorry that your gun is costing you too much money this month.
You're like, well, I'm kind of, you know, the chicken wings are, they've gone up.
My family likes chicken wings.
But the price of everything is going up.
Food and gas and the supply chains are broken down.
Quote, almost everything a person needs to buy is more expensive.
Blame the pandemic.
The supply chains have broken down.
We have all kinds of chaos.
Now, can you play the video of this woman?
Let's play this woman who's being interviewed outside a grocery store.
There's nothing better than when you get a person outside of a grocery store to give an opinion.
Quote, everything has gone sky high from groceries to gas.
Prices skyrocketing and could get worse.
Here we go.
More than expected on everything from food to housing to gas.
At this point, it is very hard to ignore.
Everywhere we go, things are more expensive.
So how much more can prices go up?
And what's causing this rapid inflation?
Tonight, Christina Rex set out to get some answers.
Prices are ridiculous.
The meat is above and beyond.
All right, it's gone sky high.
Everything has gone sky high, and it's extremely sad.
Have you ever seen too many?
The meat is above and beyond.
And my husband likes me.
And I'm making meat, and I've made him meat for my entire life.
I brown it with butter in a pan.
And it's sky high now.
We eat six pounds of meat a week, and now I can't afford it.
And I made a salad the other day, and my husband grabbed me by the throat, and he took my head, and he mushed it.
You ever mushed someone?
He mushed my face.
He didn't hit me, but he mushed me.
He mushed me into the wall.
And he said, you better find a way to make this work.
It's sky high.
Well, this woman, I mean, again, they're outside of a store called Market Basket.
God help us.
But it's sad because, you know, people need the, you know, groceries and they're too expensive now.
And, you know, it's very unfortunate.
All this stuff is going on.
And this is the result of a breakdown in the supply chain.
There's other people saying, blaming the pandemic.
They're saying the simplest explanation is everyone has been cooped up for a year and not spending as much as they ordinarily would.
And now we all decided at the same time we wanted to go out and spend money on things.
Said Tony Cookson, co-director of the Center for Research on Consumer Financial Decision Making.
Quote, when we all decide to do that at the same time, the issue is the economy needs to provide us with all those goods.
We don't have unlimited capacity to do that.
Well, then there's also the thing we have less people working.
You have a lot of people now.
And this is probably a good thing in the long term.
They have more leverage.
Workers have more leverage.
And they're striking now because there are less workers.
And Kellogg's, you hear about this?
They are striking at Kellogg.
Now, I don't know the specifics of this.
I can't imagine I'm going to side with Kellogg's, but the workers want benefits.
They want retirement packages.
They want days off.
And Kellogg's Cereal is basically coming out and saying, fuck you.
We'll move the jobs to Mexico.
And then denying it.
They're saying, we didn't say that.
Find Ben the statement from Kellogg's Cereal.
Kellogg's put out a statement.
There's people standing in the rain.
I believe it's in Omaha, Nebraska.
And they're protesting and they're saying, we want better hours.
We want more money.
We want better benefits.
And then Kellogg's has a counterpoint to all that.
And they put out a video where they were just basically like, what you need to do is keep your mouth shut.
Is this it right here?
I believe so.
Battle Creek, Michigan.
Kellogg Company today is publicly addressing the terms of its master labor contract negotiation.
So they're sending out Chris Bonner.
Chris Bonner, I guess, is an executive at, is that her?
Is she an executive?
It says Kellogg Company spokesperson.
This is the person who's in the middle of the day.
She's the spokesperson.
She's going to soften the message because the guy, you can't bring out like Mr. Kellogg.
He'll be like, fuck these commie faggots.
You can't do that.
You can't do that.
Put the hoses on them.
Turn the hose.
She's like, let's talk about building a family.
Turn the hoses on.
In my day, we had dogs.
We took hoses and sprayed them.
So this is Chris Bonner.
She's the spokesperson for the Kellogg's cereal company that is trying very hard to retain the slave labor.
We value all our employees.
I believe their efforts.
First of all, could anyone look, couldn't they have gotten anyone else to do this than this Karen?
Look at this woman.
This woman could not effectively communicate anything.
They have billions of dollars and they can't get anyone better than her.
We value all of our employees.
Let's continue this.
Especially during this global pandemic.
We are deeply concerned that the union at our four U.S. cereal plants has decided to strike and what that means for our employees.
Being away from work puts our people and their families in a difficult position and can create financial hardships.
And pay them.
Our number one priority is to get back to the negotiations table and reach a contract so our employees can get back to their jobs and their lives.
No, Kellogg's Kellogg's defense, the contract that Kellogg offered was very fair.
You were allowed to use the bathroom twice a week.
This was a fair cut.
This is not a bad deal.
It was a 16-hour day with two breaks.
Every eight hours, you would take a break.
The break was supervised.
You would take a supervised break.
And you would take a break, which I think is nice, at your station.
Because when you go outside, they have found, they've done a lot of studies that going outside has all kinds of effects on the worker.
They see the blue sky, and they get very distracted and it's very triggering.
So they have the break at the station, and you have the break, and you stand there silently, and it's a supervised break because they, again, don't want anyone going outside or making a phone call or calling home or doing anything that could distract them.
And every eight hours, you get one of these breaks.
Twice a week, you're allowed to leave your station and use the restroom for number two.
Number one is a catheter.
So whatever you're doing, as you're toasting the, I don't know what the hell they're doing, the special K. As you're toasting the cornflakes, oh, that's General Mills.
Kellogg's is what?
Cornflakes.
I think it's Cornflakes.
No, it might be General Mills.
You don't think.
Find out.
We're slandering a company.
Let's at least slander the right one.
Hold on, hold on.
Here, I'm on their foods and brands.
Here we go.
Kellogg's Cornflakes.
Yeah, cornflakes and all kinds of stuff.
So as you're toasting the cornflakes, you will use the rest.
you will have a catheter, meaning you will pee and then there'll be a colostomy bag on your leg of your, of your, you know, of your, what's the word for piss?
Urine or whatever, of your urine on the leg.
And it's not a big deal.
Now, in terms of a vacation, in terms of a vacation, they're offering a vacation at a Kellogg's approved facility, which will be very similar to a resort.
But you will work during the vacation because it gives you pride.
It gives you dignity.
Going to a resort is undignified, but going to a specialized Kellogg's and where you will work eight hour days as opposed to 16, and you will then spend time with your family.
And they're throwing in frosted mini wheats for the children at the Kellogg's themed resort.
It'll have a pool.
It'll have fun history of Kellogg's stuff on the walls and frosted mini wheats for your children.
If your children get sick from eating corn pops or egg a waffles or any of their products, Fruit Loops, I love how they have Kashi.
Like they don't even, you know.
But if your kids get sick, they will allow you an hour to take your child to the doctor.
Now, they're not going to pay for it, but if you can find the money to get your kid to the doctor, you can leave the facility for one hour.
At one hour and one minute, you will forfeit your pay for the week.
I don't think these are bad terms.
Let's continue with this woman because I think she's fair.
Concerned that the union struck without allowing members to vote on the company's October 1st offer.
Kellogg's proposals have been grossly misrepresented by the union in statements to their membership and to media.
And we want our employees to have all the information they need.
This is what they're doing.
This is the real thing they're offering.
9% wage increase for legacy employees.
We don't even know what that means.
9% pathway to full legacy rate and significant increases for transitional employees, which means the entire company.
Transitional employees, like everyone.
No change to employees' current health care plans.
Enhanced interrogation.
No, I'm kidding.
Enhanced retirement benefits for transitional employees.
Increased pension multiplier.
No proposals related to continuous crew or alternative work schedules.
One week paid time off at vacation rate.
One week.
Not bad.
Not bad.
One week paid time off, which you can spend going to the doctor with your kids.
Because let's finish this woman.
Need to make informed decisions for themselves and their families.
Let's start with what we are not doing.
Kellogg is not asking employees to give up health care, retirement benefits, or holiday and vacation pay.
Right.
The fact is we're proud that most employees working under this contract have industry-leading pay and benefits and all have above-market wages in retirement.
The grain in the middle.
In fact, the average 2020 earnings for the majority of our hourly serial employees was $120,000 per year.
And more than a third earned between $120,000.
The math, the math done to get to that.
We're all supposed to believe that a bunch of people making $120K a year are incensed, which is a complete, that's a complete lie.
She goes, the average 2020 earnings for our hourly Kellogg serial employees, meaning they're averaging like five people who've been there forever who they actually pay with everyone out.
But there's no way that's the case.
There's no way that a bunch of people are making $120,000 a year in the Kellogg's factory and they're all striking right now.
There's just such a lie.
Can you imagine that?
Yeah, in Kansas making $120 an hour.
Our average hourly employee earns $5 million a year.
We have industry-leading pay.
That can't be true.
$8,000 and $200,000.
Most also have unparalleled, no-cost, comprehensive health insurance, meaning they pay nothing for their health care.
No premiums, no deductibles, nothing.
But that's going to be a good idea.
Less senior employees have the same health insurance plan that all our salaried employees have, except they pay much lower employee contributions than the rest of us.
A construct that I work on with the union.
So why are they doing this?
Are they sociopaths?
What are they doing?
Why are they doing it?
Have they lost their minds?
I don't.
You know?
What are they doing?
Free health care, $120,000 a year?
Sounds great.
What are you talking about?
Let's go to the employee.
Can we get a Kellogg employee who's probably just going to be full of scabs and bleeding?
Let's find an employee.
Just some Vietnam veteran sitting there in a wheelchair, just fucking bleeding, screaming about Rice Krispie treats.
One of them has to be on YouTube, right?
There's got to be a Kellogg employee explaining what's going on.
We got, you know, unless Kellogg strike.
Yeah.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
Well, this morning, Kellogg is no longer making cereal.
Workers have voted to strike last night.
This strike went into effect at midnight after the union's five-year contract with the company expired.
News8 State and White is live outside the Battle Creek Kellogg facility now with a deeper look into this dispute.
Emily Donovan, good morning.
Members of the union voted on this strike yesterday after negotiations between them and Kellogg went through.
You could see that we have buses of employees coming here this morning and the members of the strike are not letting up.
The contract for all facilities expired at midnight and there is no new one in place.
According to the union's website, there are still some issues to resolve in the most recent offer from Kellogg, including the elimination of cost of living adjustments, the creation of permanent transitional positions, no full-time benefits for those permanent workers, an adjustment to the PTO policy, a holiday pay change, and a plan to remove all union logos from products.
We spoke with one of the strike leaders this morning.
Cereal Mascots As Political Symbols00:04:12
Everybody in this plant makes incredible sacrifices that most people wouldn't understand.
They work eight days a week, at least.
And that's months on end without a scheduled day off.
I mean, some people in the plant don't have a scheduled day off for the entire year.
So we're not willing to accept that anymore.
Union leaders also allege that the most recent contract proposal was never presented to the negotiating committee.
They say their committee is still at the table and that Kellogg sent home its negotiators before posting the current offer.
We reached out to Kellogg's office.
There's no cereal because these people want to see their kids.
How lazy are these people?
What's going to happen if someone wants cereal?
Is everyone, do people not understand morality and what's morally right and what's morally wrong?
It is not right to strike and deprive people of frosted mini wheats because you think you need to go and see your children for a day.
So there's a guy standing in a storm and this has gone viral.
Image of Kellogg's worker picketing in 3 a.m. storm goes viral.
Well, these are the things I don't.
This is like when you find a kid, you know, the drone strike, they show the kid and the drone strike, and they go, this is why we have to fight ISIS because, and you go, wife, I do like the Tony the Tiger, I'm greedy sign.
It is fun because you know what you can do here with the strike, and people lose.
You can have a lot of fun with the mascots.
You can have a lot of fun with the mascots.
Like, there should be a mini wheat with the hammer and sickle.
You know, the communist hammer and sickle.
There should be a mini wheat doing that.
Dress up a mini wheat as Joseph Stalin.
If they're not dressing up mini wheats as Joseph Stalin, the Rice Krispie, what are they?
Elves?
The Rice Krispie elves should be painted killing executives, like cutting the throats of executives.
The Fruit Loops Toucan, Toucan Sam.
Toucan Sam should have his arm around Mao Zedong.
This is fun.
This is good.
This gets people thinking because you start going, oh, this is interesting.
Even the mascots are getting involved.
A lot of the problem is, I don't care about any of those people.
You know the people with the signs?
Who gives a shit?
I don't know them.
But if all the mascots got together, the sun, Tony the Tiger, those Twinks who make Rice Krispie treats, and the Cornflakes chicken, if they all, or Rooster, he's a rooster, whatever.
His gender is none of my business.
If they all got together and explicitly, if there was artwork of them killing executives, burning their houses down, you know, that to me would be a little exciting.
I'd want to get more on board.
Yes.
You know?
Get a picture of Joseph Stalin up.
Get a picture of Stalin up.
Now let's imagine, get a nice picture of Stalin.
I like this one.
This one's good.
Make that...
Give the Raisin Brand son.
Put the Raisin Brand son as Stalin.
That's my point.
Oi, det er hjemmelaget lasagne.
Ja, men det er bare Toro, altså.
Bare Toro.
Det er jo så godt så hjemmelaget bare er mye enklere.
Fyldig saus, deilig smak, og alle liker det.
Når det er så lett å lage noe så godt, hvorfor gjør det vanskelig, he?
Toro, kjempegodt nok.
Feel-good story today kommer ut av Austin, Texas.
Austin, Texas, as you know, a place where I live.
Homeless Family Rescued From Flood00:07:46
It is a beautiful place.
It is the epicenter of comedy in America.
There's nothing funnier than Austin, Texas.
There's nothing funnier.
When you land there, it is funny.
I mean, you laugh from when your feet leave the plane to when you walk back on the plane.
It's funny.
I mean, it's just hilarious.
It's hilarious.
Even the shootings, and there's many of them, are funny.
Even the people that attack you in the street, it's funny.
They do it in a funny way.
It's funny how you get carjacked.
It's funny.
It's fun.
And every now and then, because so much of the news is sad, so much of the news is sad.
The Kellogg's company going to war with the people that make cereal.
I didn't even know you needed to.
I thought cereal just kind of happened.
But apparently there's people doing it.
It's crazy.
So this is just a feel-good story.
This is a light, fun story.
Sometimes we do things on the show that have a dark, there's a darkness to them.
This is not that.
This is light, fluffy fun.
And it's beautiful.
I want you to watch this because it is truly, it's just a great story about human beings just having fun and doing good stuff.
This is body cam video from Starflight senior flight nurse, Jennifer Roberts.
A bongo she rescued Thursday from a swollen Blanco River in San Marcus was Frank Fell.
She was so uncontrolled that I just felt it was relaxing to know they were there because up until that point, we were pretty sure we weren't going to make it.
Friday, I showed Roberts what Frank had to say.
It means a lot.
We often don't get to meet anybody after the fact or hear how people do or anything.
And so it's really nice to hear those people.
Hear those comments.
The call for Starflight to head to San Marcus came after stormwaters rushed down the Blanco River and into transient campsites.
They are now a beautiful smack.
The rivers are now biblically washing the homeless down the river in Austin.
The homeless that live on the riverbed are being washed away by the rivers.
And their homes are being washed down the rivers.
And don't think too much about that.
That's not what the story is about.
The story is about these first responders who then rescued one of the people, Frank Fell.
Frank.
I don't know what happened to the others.
I'm sure they are fine.
One of the homeless people, one or two of them were rescued.
So we're focusing on that.
We're just kind of, we don't want to get in the, we don't know what happened to the rest of them.
But there was a transient community of homeless people, but we're saying transient.
And this is just another example that we're just, we're absolutely living in hell.
That this is the idea of a feel-good story, that the river is washing away the homeless, and that first responders ended up saving one of them.
And this is a great occasion for all of us.
We should all rejoice that a first responder went and saved a homeless guy who's living down by the riverbed.
Here, let's finish this.
Into the muddy riverbank.
And it stopped raining, and we thought it was over.
And the next thing we knew, we heard a noise that we didn't know what it was.
And we looked out, it was just a wall of water coming.
When the helicopter arrived, the crew quickly realized this was not going to be a typical rescue mission.
We knew there were four people.
That's about all the information that we had.
Four people that need to be rescued.
When we got overhead, it was apparent that not only were there four people, but there was also four people with some belongings that were clearly very important to them and a dog.
And then when I got down there, I found out there was also a puppy involved.
This is that puppy alive and well.
Fuck yeah!
We're killing it!
Austin, Texas!
Austin, Texas!
How fucking cool is that?
Come live by the river, bring your pup, and it's gonna work out because this bitch may save you.
It just, it feels good.
I like when things feel good.
And this just makes me happy.
It makes me happy.
Now, I don't want to ruin this by asking what happens to the people now.
Did they go work at the Kellogg's factory?
What happens to these people?
They were returned to a new camp under the Highway 80 Bridge.
Well, it's cool.
Well, that's a happy ending.
That's a happy ending.
So you're telling me the people they rescued went back under the bridge?
That's what it says.
Well, this is good.
This is beautiful.
I was thinking it was going to be something heartless, but they're back right under the bridge, which is, if you remember, where this all started.
Now, so they, what do you, do you think they give him a shower or anything, or not really?
They probably give him a new tent, right?
And then they put them back under the bridge.
What's saying here?
It's saying they returned under the bridge and these were all smashed and scattered into a muddy riverbank.
I know.
It's like, what are you going to do with them?
I mean, that's the real issue.
I'm not, I can't take them in.
But this is the question.
I hope that, but this is just going to keep happening.
It seems like it's not a great solution to just put them back under the bridge.
But what do I know?
But this is a feel-good story.
This is what I mean about the feel-good stories.
They're not going to be like they were in the old days.
No.
You know?
No, you're not going to have that.
This isn't a story about a guy who beat cancer.
This is a story about people that were living under a bridge that were saved from a flood that have then gone back to live under the bridge.
That's the story.
And they're happy.
The guy's going, thank God, we didn't know we were going to make it.
Very thankful, yeah.
He goes, we thought we weren't going to make it, but thank God that we were saved and are now being deposited back under the bridge.
And then hopefully it was a team effort, according to Roberts, who added, after they returned to Austin, they had only one quick moment to reflect on the rescue.
That's because the next call for help could be a moment away.
Well, good for her.
Good for her.
This is a great system, I think.
Because it gets, everyone can be a hero.
Yeah.
She can be a hero.
It's important.
You need heroes, and you need people to rescue people.
Austin After Hours Crime Segment00:06:18
Where is that thing you sent me about the Austin crime?
There's just after like, what is it?
After 8 p.m. in Austin, it just turns into a rapathon.
It seems to be a new segment they're doing called like Austin After Hours.
Yes, like Austin After Dark.
And that doesn't mean like, hear the fiddle player.
It means just straight up like the streets will run with blood.
I had no idea how dangerous Austin, Texas was.
It's like insanely dangerous.
After 9 p.m., the streets in Austin run with blood.
Hold on, I think our internet went down.
Well, God damn it.
The internet went down at the temporary studio.
How's it coming with our new studio, by the way?
How's the new studio coming with our idiot realtor?
Hey, guys, my wife's having a baby.
Hey, who gives a fuck?
No one cares, this big dumb idiot.
Because our business manager, who is, I want to be respectful, but he's mentally retarded.
He, every friend he has or connection he has is a bigger loser than him, amazingly.
So he sets us up with this like frat boy retard who's like, my wife's having a baby.
He shows us a unit.
Like I'm not saying you have to know who I am, but like Google me if you have a client.
I'm like, yeah, my new building, there's a lot of these whores running around.
He's like, are you single?
That could be pretty good.
Yeah.
It's like, all right, buddy, will you calm it down?
We're not playing beer pony here.
Okay.
But again, it's this frat boy kind of jovial horse shit.
So we go to a unit with this guy, right?
That's correct.
And then we find out, we say, we'll take it.
And then what does he say?
He says it's not available.
That's right.
So he's wasting our time.
He's wasting his time.
Now, do you realize how low on the totem pole you have to be to be showing office space in LA?
I mean, this is the single, this is the capital of the single family home.
If you want to make some fucking money, you go sling some bedrooms and bathrooms.
But this guy is showing office space.
No one even wants to go back into the office anymore.
And he's showing office space.
And he was recommended by our business manager.
I mean, I just don't understand.
I'm losing my patience.
We're trying to get a real studio.
Am I wrong?
No, you're right.
To lose my patience.
No, we thought we had the studio.
We thought we had it.
I'm sorry.
Should I not be talking about this publicly?
I'm not mentioning his name, but the slob who manages our money has got to stop connecting us with his near-do-well, deadbeat friends.
It's not my fault that everyone you know is the lowest person in every industry.
Can you fucking please get one decent connection that you can hook us up with?
I mean, Christ Almighty.
I mean, it's like enough already.
And him, I got to get on you because you're so sweet.
I always have to be the bad guy because these people, you're like, hi, hi, that's you.
I got to call up like a big fat cunt and scream to get something done.
Here's the Austin after hours.
Police watching late night clubs.
So this is like, again, if you're going to have a bachelorette party, go down to Austin.
This is the place.
You're going to love it, you fat bachelorette.
Don't go to Nashville.
Come down here.
This is what's waiting for you in Austin.
I will not rest until the city of Austin is condemned.
Austin After Hours patrolling.
The South Street Entertainment District has seen more violent crime in the last several months.
To learn more about what's driving it, our team went out this past weekend with APD's downtown patrol officers.
And they tell KXAN investigator Kevin Clark they're getting more calls after the bars close.
Everybody's realizing how long it was.
This is why there's violent crime.
People are realizing how bad it is and they're angry and they can't kill Elon Musk.
So they have to kill who's ever in their vicinity.
They've all been sold this bill of goods.
They go down there and they're like, it's not even fun.
It isn't fun.
And they're just all drugged up and they've got a loaded gun on them because it's America.
And they just start fucking going crazy.
Let's continue this.
And at 1.18 Saturday morning, Sergeant Garabay started running.
Yeah.
KXAN investigators right behind.
One mouse.
Three blocks from the heart of the 6th Street Entertainment District.
We got a bachelor party, Bluey!
Where thousands were gathered was a 17-year-old in critical condition.
He later died at the hospital.
Let me get some crime scene tape.
Police say it came after a gun battle between two groups, which prompted an officer to fire their own weapon.
It's a crime scene, sir.
Thank you.
For Sergeant Garabay and other downtown patrols, the night can change in an instant.
Two hours earlier, he told me this.
Based on the crowd right now, I think we're going to have a happy crowd with few disturbances.
That's my forecast for tonight.
We initially came out with police because of their concern over after-hours clubs.
One of them we told you about is Tellers, which police described as the site of violent offenses from assaults, robberies, and even shootings.
APD has written 47 crime reports tied to the Trinity Street Address so far in 2021, more than the previous three years combined.
That was a bar that typically generated a lot of calls for us after bar hours, a lot of disturbances, you know, that took place in front of their bars.
Well, whatever.
I'm not trying to, I don't care about after-hour stuff.
I'm not trying to get somebody in trouble here.
What I'm trying to say is that this city is just always on the brink.
It's always on the brink of exploding in gunfire every night.
I mean, God, we got hoodwinked.
How do we get hoodwinked like this?
You're supposed to look out for me, and you don't.
I let you down.
You let me down big time.
You should have told me.
Police At Your Wedding Ceremony00:02:12
You got excited to go back to Texas.
A little bit.
Yeah, you did.
Because people like you, down deep, you know, it's your culture.
It's not my culture.
You know?
Yeah.
It's not my culture.
It's your culture.
You know?
I'm not, you know, like, I appreciate all the cultural experiences.
I mean, you had cops at your wedding.
You had police at your wedding.
Sheriffs.
You had sheriffs at the wedding making sure people didn't drink too much.
That's not my culture.
It's not my culture.
There's nothing wrong with it.
I'm happy.
I enjoyed your wedding.
It was very nice.
Thank you.
It was very sweet.
Thank you.
But this is just a different way of life for me and for a lot of people that we know.
But, you know, there's something about you that you, you, you also realize that this is, you know, this is not good.
You must, you must leave.
It's horrible.
It's horrible.
It's terrible.
You know?
You have to not do this, you know?
And I know that people like you see a value in it because you're animals.
But you know what I mean?
Well, part of you wants to go back to Long Island.
Part of me wanted to go back to Texas.
That's right.
But Long Island is a beautiful place of amazing people.
That's the difference.
Do you understand the difference?
There's a huge difference between me wanting to do that and you wanting, you know?
At your wedding, a woman gave birth.
A woman gave birth.
Your sister gave birth at your wedding.
And it made people me.
It made me uncomfortable.
I'm sorry.
And no one cared.
And the baby came out bloody full of afterbirth and it just started eating a rib.
It's not right.
It's a weird life.
Steve Nelk And David Dobrik Motive00:15:22
That's all I'm saying.
It's strange.
And you made us move there because you're listening to Joe Rogan.
I had no part in this.
You said it's going to be good for your comedy career to move down there.
That's why you made us move.
You said, I'm going to do comedy at Joe Rogan's new club.
That's right.
Yeah.
I just dragged you kicking and screaming the whole way.
Wouldn't it be funny if you opened the club called Vaccines?
That would be funny.
It was just called vaccines.
You know?
That would be fun.
I'd work there.
Oi, det er hjemmelaget lasagne.
Ja, men det er bare Toro, altså.
Bare Toro.
Det er jo så godt så hjemmelaget.
Bare mye enklere.
Fyldig saus, deilig smak, og alle liker det.
Når det er så lett å lage noe så godt, hvorfor gjør det vanskelig, he?
Toro, kjempegodt nok.
We will do it.
We can't say enough great things about Steve.
Steve is a philanthropist along with his friend Takashi69.
They go around and help people.
Steve does give people money.
Steve, from Nelk.
We all know Nelk.
It's the group of pranksters that run around the country going to colleges, telling people to have fun and party and drink and jump off roofs and be cool.
The Nelk Boys.
Steve is the breakout star of the Nelk Boys.
Check out his Happy Dad Cells are available in stores in Florida, Nevada, California, and Massachusetts.
Not the brightest states, but that's where they're marketing the happy dad in states where people party, right?
Florida, Nevada, California, and Massachusetts.
They're not 50 states yet, but they're starting with the states where people are most likely to become paralyzed after a night out.
Steve is one of the most emerging, one of the biggest emerging fashion brands with full send.
Go to fullsend.com, sign up for exclusive merch drops.
Everything is currently sold out.
And if you don't want to miss it, you got to go to fullsend.com.
So, what Steve does is he sends people money because he makes money gambling or Bitcoin or something.
He does something in what does he do?
I think it's a gambling website.
He does something in Mexico.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I don't think we can talk about that part of that.
What does he do?
He tests people for AIDS down there.
I think he has AIDS tests in Mexico.
It's like the Thoranos, Elizabeth Holmes, right?
Isn't that what he's doing?
I think so.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, he's whatever he's doing.
He's donating money.
He gives money.
Some people say I need money, and he gives them money.
Don't get any ideas, people, with me, but he'll send them like $600.
He's a good person.
He's a good guy.
He is.
He drinks.
He'll drink a fish tank of booze and then grab Takashi 6.9 and then go.
They just walk into a cancer ward and make it rain.
They just make it rain in a cancer ward.
All those little bald kids with the full send hoodies.
And he's just good like that.
He's good like that.
He gave David Dobrik a Tesla.
And David Dobrik is an underprivileged guy, right?
That's right.
Because he's at a rough time.
Remember, because he tried to kill his friend now, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm not mad at him for that.
Who cares?
You threw your friend off a what do you put him on a parachute or something?
And whatever, the guy hit the water at the wrong angle.
He thought he was dead.
Shut up.
Everyone's a puss.
So Will Do It gave David Dobrik a Tesla because it's nice.
I thought it was a rape thing.
Well, no, that was before that.
Okay, gotcha.
And, you know, I don't know what's going on here.
David Dobrik is never accused of that.
He's never accused of doing anything wrong.
See, when you say things like that, that's legally actionable.
That's why you don't speak.
Some other guy, part of his crew, might have been it, something.
Right, right, right.
But I'm not, I'm not a let's blame everybody for everybody.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not into that.
I have no issues with David Dobrik.
I don't know anything about him.
I don't, I like entertainment.
And if a few people get paralyzed for entertainment, not a big deal for me.
Go to Steve Will Doit's YouTube channel right now and see what all the hubbub is about for yourself.
Steve drops new videos every single Thursday.
He loves cigarettes, but then he quits and he goes back.
So go there.
Steve Will Do It is YouTube channel.
That's S-T-E-V-E-W-I-L-L-D-O-I-T.
You got to spell it out.
Steve Will Do It on YouTube.
I think these Nelk kids are really helping out because they are teaching young people that life is about getting drunk and using drugs and having sex and partying.
And I think we've gone so far away, we've gone so far into that other thing where everybody's thinking and they're so annoying.
There's something really beautiful about the Nelk brand of how to live your life.
Nelk is a way to live your life.
It's a way to live your life.
Now, you have to stop doing that eventually because you're going to die.
You're going to die.
But the good news is, fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah, you're going to die.
So Steve will do it.
LLC.
We love him.
He's a fan of the show.
We've never met him.
We had one dinner with these people and he chose not to show up, but that's okay.
I don't know what he was doing.
Brushing his teeth or something.
I don't know, but he didn't come.
And, but it's fun.
They're a great group.
I'm a fan of the Nelk philosophy on life, which is like, hey, who cares where your shoe is?
It doesn't matter that you're failing.
That's their philosophy.
Who cares about your shoe?
Your mother's a stupid bitch.
What was she going to do with that money anyway?
She's spending the money on your college, but what was that dumb whore going to do with it?
Who cares?
Your academic advisor can go fuck himself.
That guy's a loser.
He keeps running his fucking mouth.
Maybe you'll just beat his ass.
Beat his ass, bro.
Break your academic advisor's neck if he tells you that you're the...
And fuck your doctor too, this fucking cuck who tells you that you have cancer of the liver now.
It doesn't matter.
Sometimes people throw up blood.
It's part of life.
You know?
And I think that's a decent philosophy on life.
Fuck your mom.
Fuck the cops.
You can handle it.
Seven beers deep, you can handle driving to another bar.
It's not a big deal.
You understand?
Yeah, they're very forgiving of people's past.
It's old school Christianity.
Yes.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I think of when I think of Nelk.
I'm like an old school Christianity.
I talk to guys in college sometimes because I want to have sex with them.
And all of them, they always say to me, like, get me FaceTime me with Steve Will Dewitt.
That's their, all they want.
That's all they want is to talk to Steve Will Dewitt.
That's literally all they want to do.
That's your entire life.
It's amazing.
He's a cool guy.
He's a very cool guy.
We haven't met him.
Hopefully we'll meet him.
Go to Steve Will Dewitt on YouTube.
We're not doing the Smiley Face Killer episode.
To interview one of these people, an academic about the smiley face killer.
He was mentally unwell, and we're not putting the episode out because maybe these kids are getting thrown into rivers.
They probably are, but God help them.
The people that are trying to figure out what's going on have been trying since 2006, and they're all frauds.
And this guy was mentally ill.
He said, Do you want to speak to my girlfriend?
She has a gift of prophecy.
We went all the way to fucking some fucking horrible town.
Ugh.
So we're not putting the episode out.
Yeah.
We're not putting it out.
Yeah, big waste of time.
It was a huge waste of time.
Which again, you did.
You got to vet these people.
You have to vet them.
We tried.
Should we play a minute of it for everyone?
I mean, I haven't mixed the episode.
I think I have it somewhere.
Let me see.
Play a minute of this mental patient that we had to suffer through.
I got it on my external.
Let me grab it.
Hold on.
We go there, and the guy's confused.
He's out of it.
The smiley face killer theory is these young athletic college-age males end up in the river.
Some of it, maybe they fell in, but they think it's some cult or something.
So we go down there to interview this old guy, and he like kind of confesses to it.
He like literally said, I predict where they're going to be, and I make sure I go to the ATM and get money out so they don't think I'm doing it.
What the fuck's this?
So let's play a minute or two of this so you can see how crazy he is so that you can understand why we can't put this out.
We're trying to do a fun Halloween episode.
Okay, so I have his audio.
So let's just play his audio.
I haven't mixed the episode.
Yeah, just go to the middle of it or something.
Okay, here we go.
After about 45 minutes, I said.
You know, people who are unemployed or in and out of work, retired, it seems to be just like any other golf.
Have you guys ever spoken to somebody who is a member of the group or an ex-member of the group or anything like that?
We have, and of course, we've certainly protected their identity.
Okay.
But they haven't.
In the past, there's.
Have you spoken to an actual ex-member of the group that's carrying these things out?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes, we have.
He's not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just get around one more time.
Yeah.
That stood out to me, especially as it started to spread out across the United States.
If I were to take the profile and you can go online, just pick any one of these young men.
He's just going into Facebook now.
We can't even, I can't even deal with it.
But we flew there to interview this guy that's been working on this case since 2006.
He would go, do you have any motive?
And he goes, we're not releasing the motive.
And I go, why are you not releasing the motive?
He goes, well, then there'll be copycat killings.
And I'm like, well, there's already copycat killings.
And what do you mean the motive, dummy?
Nobody's a copy of the fucking motive.
So he refused to talk about the motive.
Right.
The guy was a sweet man, but he's senile.
He didn't want to give away the symbols, the motive.
The whole thing's the smiley face killer.
You gave away the symbol.
But I think it's these detectives that like they fill these families with hope.
And then, because there are shady, these drownings are shady.
You know, these don't make any sense.
So these like goons from New York, the detectives, they're like, hey, your son ended up in the water.
I'm going to solve the case.
I'm going to solve the case.
I'm doing a lot of work.
I need money.
Can you give me money?
And then I'll make all the bad people pay.
And then the families like give these dirtbags money.
And then they just, like these dirtbag detectives buy Chinese food with it.
And they did a show on the Oxygen Network where they're exploiting the deaths of these people.
And they have absolutely no leads.
They have nothing going on.
And instead of like investigating it, they're just like eating egg rolls in New York.
We do the event.
Can you play the, please play.
Can we play the Oxygen Network trailer?
Yeah, absolutely.
Play the trailer for this hunk of shit that Oxygen Network did with these three goons claiming that they know about the smiley face killers.
Oh, not the Bradford.
Brett Easton Ellis also just did a horrible movie about the Smiley Face killers because that guy is the smiley face killer.
Remember when he wanted us on the podcast?
Like he said to me, like, I was like, can you do my podcast?
He goes, no, but you can do mine.
Remember that?
Yeah, you kind of big time.
And he had like 3,000 patrons, and we thought that was huge.
Yeah, fuck you.
American Psycho is good, but after that, it's been a lot of shit.
What is your Patreon?
You talk about Laurel Canyon with Lindsey Lohan?
Cut it out.
We've had enough.
Had enough of him.
Next.
This is the trailer for the fake show on Oxygen where these three detectives go around pretending they know who the smiley face killer is.
And it's like Teresa Caputo, the Long Island medium, who's pretending that she knows that the dead kid.
I mean, it's so heinous what they're doing to these parents.
They're like, we got all these leads.
We're going to make it right.
We're going to do it.
And they don't have shit.
Let's watch that.
You couldn't get to him fast enough.
It's hard to think about somebody hurting your child, but I think someone hurt him.
It's like it happened yesterday for me.
Just rip your heart out.
Hundreds of yesterday.
It's so sad.
You have these very sad parents.
Yeah.
Okay?
It's tragic.
And there's really shady circumstances with these drownings.
Enter the goon squad from New York.
Watch this.
He's heading home and heading that direction.
The $50 million question is, how did he get in the water?
This is where the dogs lost the sink.
They lost content right here.
All classified as accidental or undetermined.
When the numbers start to add and you just, you see it, something's not right.
So there is a pattern that's been growing.
It doesn't make any sense to me.
He was a champion swimmer in high school.
Nobody believes it was an accident.
Shady Circumstances In TV Show00:10:34
Nobody.
These retired NYPD detectives aren't buying it.
All we know right now is that Dakota James did not drown accidentally.
I can't tell you what happened to Luke, but I can tell you what didn't happen to Luke.
In almost all the cases, we have found Smiley Face Braffiti near the body recovery setup.
Smiley face graffiti links all our cases.
The search for truth.
He's got defensive wounds and offensive wounds from blocking and striking.
He had to have been deceased from the drugs prior to entering the water.
Could we open hundreds of cases?
This is a highly suspicious case.
Smiley face, three stars, three victims recovered, and bring justice to these families.
This is what the family wants.
They want a true investigation.
I believe that Luke was murdered.
I mean, I know I can't bring my son back, but they just really wanted justice for him.
He was never going to come back.
This is so sad.
Here's the thing.
I'm not saying these kids aren't being murdered.
I mean, what I'm saying is that these detectives have been working on this case since 2006.
They have nothing.
There's not a suspect.
There's nothing.
They have nothing except a TV show.
That's not the goal when you investigate a case is to get a TV show like fucking 10 years later, 15 years later.
The goal is to solve the crime.
Well, I think they wrote a book.
Yeah, they wrote a book and they got a TV show.
They got a real great career.
Solve the fucking crime and they can't do it.
And you have these poor parents that are now sick of these detectives.
They're like, because they're like, hey, I got a lead.
You know, and that voice, one of them's being banged up for sexual assault or whatever.
I don't know, but the Oxygen Network, I think, parted ways with these three goons.
They said, get out of here.
Tell it walking.
Because the detectives are from New York.
They're like, I'm a New York detective.
I'm a New York detector.
I'm going to figure it out.
I'm going to figure it out.
And I don't know anything.
I don't know anything about how your son died.
But I'm here to bother you and to get on TV.
Have you heard of television?
We're going to be on TV together.
You had a horrible tragedy.
I have no career.
Those two things are beautiful.
You look at the camera and cry, and I'm going to present myself as a guy helping you when all I'm doing is wasting everybody's time.
They went on like Dr. Phil.
It's just, it's just not right to do, right?
No.
It's not right to do.
It would be like if I kept showing up to like, like someone, if I was looking up like missing kids and I kept showing up to their parents' houses and telling them that I had an idea of how it happened.
And I'm like, I got a podcast.
We're going to figure it out.
If I kept showing up, do you have any leads?
I go, no, but I think something shady happened.
They go, yeah.
We'll figure it out.
Let me get my goon squad.
Can you get the first episode up where these fucking idiots are eating bacon, egg, and cheeses?
Remember they're eating in a diner?
It's the first episode.
Greasy spoon.
Yeah, they're eating at some greasy spoon diner.
It's a real fucking food network special.
See if they have him up here.
These parents are crying.
So then they bring in the Hollywood medium, who's not the Long Island medium.
He's the gay Hollywood medium.
And then he talks to one of the parents.
It's so heinous what they are doing to these parents.
I don't think it's this clip.
Let me see.
Maybe it's this one.
No, it's the first one.
It's like the first thing in the series.
I'd like to buy it.
Sitting there and they're eating like sausage and you're like, hey, fucking the smaller fish, kill.
And I'm all for believing these people end up in the river in a very suspect way.
And I'm not dis all the things we figured out on this show and not figured out, but, you know, that we just know in general, Epstein and Johnny Gosh and all that stuff.
I'm not dismissing the idea that these kids are meeting their end, you know, in a way where you do have.
But this is the beginning.
By the way, can you imagine if your son died in a river, your son is dead.
Not someone like me who my parents want that, but like a young, hot college guy with a thick cock that you see even as his parent, you don't want to fuck him, but you're like, look at that cock, you know?
And imagine your child has been murdered.
He's dead.
These three sausage and pepper heroes show up to your house and they tell you there's a TV show about it and now you're going to crack the case wide open.
So you've got your dead child.
Your life is ruined.
Justice is in the hands of these fucking meatballs.
This is scene one in the TV show.
I would throw them in the river.
You know, the food's got to be good.
That's right.
It's a real greasy spawn.
It's a big winner.
We're talking about food.
Thank you.
All we have here is a new case to come up with.
My son is dead.
My beautiful boy is dead.
Why are you showing eggs?
Christ.
And otherwise, we wouldn't be here.
I wouldn't even have dragged you guys out first.
I thought there was something going on.
I have prepared some stuff for you guys to pause.
Ready for it.
My name is Lee Gilbertson.
I'm a professor.
I teach criminal justice.
I love puzzles.
He's a good guy.
He's a good problem to solve.
He had a hat on, a desert storm hat, but he was mentally unwell.
What do you want me to say?
He's a sweet, very sweet man.
I was listening to this sweet guy.
Thank you.
No, we love you, Lee.
He sent me a whole email.
He wants me to talk to his girlfriend.
I can't be involved.
I mean, can you imagine?
It's like, I mean, if there are people throwing people in a river, by the way, they are going to keep doing it.
I'll tell you this.
If the smiley face killer is real, they are fine.
And they are, I mean, not even a small hiccup in anything they're doing because the brain trust assembled to fight them is amazing.
But mostly it's the injustice that these families are experiencing really pisses me off.
By you guys.
What do you think?
You think that he's one of ours, Dakota?
I'm Mike Donovan.
I'm a retired NYPD detective.
When Kevin asked me to come on board with the Smiley Face killers investigation.
I want to get out of the house.
My wife's like, hey, he's doing it all the time in the house.
I said, let me go explore some families.
On oxygen network.
Well, I like the fact that homicide has not looked at this case.
I'm Anthony Duarte, a retired detective from the Bronx.
I'm devoting my retirement to working on the smiley face cases.
These kids are not just falling in rivers and drowning.
I believe there's a lot more sinisters.
They can arrest.
All right, let's get out of this.
But Christ Almighty, like, even Jeffrey Epstein got arrested.
TimDylanComedy.com.
I mean, that's really all that needs to be said.
Fucking Epstein got arrested.
You can arrest one of these fucking people throwing someone in the river.
I think some of these are legitimate instances of bad stuff happening.
Some of them aren't.
They're all mixing them all together.
It's a big mishmash, and he got a bunch of people that want to get on TV.
Not good.
TimDylanComedy.com for all live dates.
Spokane, Seattle, Portland, Indianapolis, Morgantown, Pittsburgh, Washington, New York, Atlantic City, Rochester, Iowa City, Madison, Wisconsin, Louisville, Kentucky, Los Angeles, California.
Are you guys going to come to that, LA, on the 26th at the Wiltern?
We should make them pay a scalper fee, which no one pays scalper fees.
Bakersfield, California.
That'll be fun, huh?
San Diego.
Can you buy the tickets in Bakersfield?
Please don't make me go there.
San Diego, Redding, Atlanta, Atlanta, St. Louis, Sacramento, San Fran, Garden City, Idaho, Toronto, Ontario, Ontario, Toronto.
It's a 3,000 seat theater.
We're selling it well.
It's New Year's Eve.
It's going to be fucking crazy.
It's going to be crazy.
So we're really excited about this tour.
It's going to be fun.
I'm doing an hour material that I'm probably going to tape sometime in January, and we'll see if we can put it out somewhere.
But it's a lot of fun.
TimDylonComedy.com for tickets.
Tim J Dylan, D-I-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter.
If you want to follow us, they're at BenAvery is good on Twitter and Instagram.
We have a new studio.
I mean, what is the progress?
Why don't you answer the people that are fucking sick of this shit?
We're in this goddamn TikTok studio where these fucking 15-year-olds come in here and every other podcast records out here, it's people being like, yeah, like the other night, bro.
The other night.
It's like, where is the smiley face killer?
I'm going to call them.
I'll pay for your flight.
So we're sitting here in this studio.
We're unfortunately back to step one after a month of progress.
Yeah, step one.
Which is finding another realtor.
That's right.
Yeah.
We're not even at finding a studio.
We're finding a.
Because I got all plans.
I got a whole thing I want built.
We got a whole nice thing here.
I know, I know.
If you and your wife would spend less time fucking around in Texas and more time getting it done, what are the ads?