Methylene blue will give you more energy! It’s neuroprotective! Your skin will never look better! Your bunghole will never be bluer!This week, Derek investigates one of biohacking’s hottest trends: a textile dye that does, in fact, have medical applications—just not the ones optimizers are promoting, and optimizing. He’ll look into this organic compound’s history, how it’s being marketed by the butter coffee guy, and finally, reading from Aubrey Marcus’s latest newsletter on blue buttholes.Show NotesSo You Want to Pop Into a Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber to Rid Yourself of Wrinkles?Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy: Get the FactsWhen Medicines Go Rogue, Part 1: Methylene Blue
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Thank you.
This brings us to the inspiration for today's episode, Aubrey Marcus.
He recently sent out a newsletter with the subject, My Blue Butthole Biohacking Blunder.
So I thought I'd read it to you in full to see what happens when you want to biohack with methylene blue.
To his credit, it is a cautionary tale, but really it only just brings you to a different sales funnel.
Okay, here we go.
There I was, complaining about my energy.
I just can't seem to get my body sufficiently charged to accomplish what I want.
So I went for a shortcut.
I ordered some methylene blue from Dr. Conover.
Methylene blue is all the rage in biohacking circles as it increases available ATP, cellular energy.
I received two delivery mechanisms, sublingual and an anal suppository.
Coincidentally, Kyle Kingsbury, who is getting new teeth to improve his jaw position, just completely dyed his falsies smurf blue using a sublingual trosh.
So I... I opted for my butt.
I figured there was no one who would care if my asshole looked like I got sodomized by a fake Smurf.
Okay, aren't all Smurfs fake?
It's a fucking cartoon.
You could have just said you got sodomized by a Smurf, or you could have not tried to have been a comedian and spared us this entire newsletter.
But I started this, so let's keep going.
I dropped my shorts right in the kitchen and uncomfortably inserted the blue bullet into my bunghole.
Violana actually walked in on me and has been impersonating the face I was making to all of our friends.
In any case, within 30 minutes, I rushed to the bathroom.
Now, for dinner the night before, I ate some spicy-ass Shakira green curry.
So when the diarrhea came, I was melting the toilet bowl with boiling liquid blue plasma.
This was unpleasant.
Julian and Matthew often talk about apophenia, the tendency to perceive meaningful patterns between unrelated things.
Now, I eat green curry pretty regularly.
My wife is half Thai.
It doesn't result in diarrhea.
So that's some real unconscious bias right there.
Maybe the diarrhea is because you stuck a fucking methylene blue suppository up your ass and one of the side effects is gastrointestinal distress, as I read earlier.
It's like the time your Austin buddy, Preston Smiles, blamed his severe COVID symptoms on eating one thing with sugar.
You guys are clueless.
Alright, anyway, let's continue.
But whatever.
Ultimately, not a big deal.
Except, the process had done some damage.
Somehow, the combination of methylene blue and green curry triggered a massive inflammatory reaction in my colon that lasted the better part of a week.
It was all of the symptoms of IBS or colitis.
Urgency, gas, diarrhea, and pretty much constant inflammation.
