One American - Chase Geiser - Pat Dixon | Is Helen Keller Real?

Aug. 8, 2021 - One American - Chase Geiser

01:23:58

Pat Dixon | Is Helen Keller Real? | OAP #42

Chase Geiser Is Joined By Pat Dixon. Pat Dixon is a comedian and the host of NYC Crime Report NOW on Cumia Network http://CompoundMedia.com Episode Links: Chase's Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/RealChaseGeiser Pat's Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/PatDixon

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	They are easy, but because they are hard.
	Mr. Gorbachov teared down this war.
	A date which will live intimate.
	I still have a dream.
	Good night and good luck.
	Good night and good luck.
	Ladies and gentlemen, it's Pat Dixon.
	Why are you a communist and what are you doing on my show?
	I mean, you know what?
	Are you talking to Edward Armurrow?
	Because I started to think he was a comedy.
	You know, McCarthy.
	I don't think that McCarthy was wrong.
	I don't know if man.
	I'm just talking crap.
	I love it, man.
	Me too.
	So I actually know um uh regrettably little about you.
	Uh and I just heard you were cool and word on the street as it might be true.
	And what's your story?
	What's your scoop?
	Well, I do a show called New York City Crime Report since 2011.
	I live in New York, and I am uh sort of a fake reporter, but a real comedian.
	I do stand up.
	I've been doing stand-up for 25 years, and I have uh, you know, that show.
	It's uh it's going on for what it's uh 11th season now.
	It's just New York City crime with punchlines, you know, sort of like stories from the post and the daily news, but with jokes, uh actual jokes.
	And um so I I do that hell of it, it's been a good year for that then.
	It has, but a lot of the stuff that they've added on is not been the interesting kind of stuff, you know.
	Like we like the stuff where a guy, you know, kidnaps a kid and cuts him up and leaves his feet in the freezer for some reason, or you know, when a couple of guys are staying at the uh you know, international hotel up there, and and the guy ends up freaking out and and cutting the guy's balls off with a corkscrew, you know, and wearing them around as a bracelet.
	You know, I mean, these are stories that happen.
	So a lot of the stuff now is this gang violence has just kind of expanded.
	I mean, there's still some interesting stuff.
	Don't get me wrong, there's plenty, but it's it's it's not the boom time that some people might think.
	Right.
	We need we need the bizarre behavior.
	That's right.
	Right.
	We have like the very boring sort of pass A type of evil shit going on right now.
	Yeah, we kind of like some innovative criminals.
	It's like New York is going Chicago, you know, which is like uh just trying to impress with big numbers and running up the score.
	Yeah.
	So how'd you get into all that, man?
	Just doing comedy, and then somebody was like, hey, we should do a radio show.
	Well, you know, yeah, I mean, obviously there came a point in stand-up.
	Now, when I started doing that, it was like, oh, you you're supposed to get it in front of the industry, and then you get a sitcom or something like that, you know.
	Well, that's not really the way it is anymore.
	Uh, and it hasn't been that way for a long time, and it changed, you know, subtly, gradually, until like, well, you now you know, with with social media, YouTube, you have to have your own audience and you have to create a lot of stuff, you know, other than stand up.
	You can't just do it just on stand-up anymore.
	Like, I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's you know, it's rare.
	So uh, and plus I I like do I minored in journalism or majored in journalism, you know.
	In college, I actually switched to alcoholism at some point, uh, from journalism.
	Well, alcoholics tell more truth than journalists these days, and just true.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Bukowski, you know what?
	I like his novels.
	I even like his poetry, which is like uh a rare thing.
	I love his poetry, to be honest with you.
	I actually I'm the inverted, I've never read a Bukowski novel, but I had studied his poetry, not in years, but in high school I went through a big Bukowski phase.
	I remember I was in um I was in uh pre-calculus and Miss Duncan was the teacher, and uh, she's actually a really sweet lady.
	Um, but I was a dick.
	And I was reading Backowski in her pre-calculus class while she was teaching.
	She goes, you know, that's really rude.
	I just go, it's just more interesting.
	And I got in big trouble for that.
	I feel bad about it, but at the same time, you know, I was right.
	Absolutely, you know, yeah.
	Just tell her like it is.
	Uh and and so uh, you know, be that's that's young to be into Bukowski.
	I guess it's about the right age.
	I was into Bukhaski in my 20s, like early 20s and stuff.
	And uh, you know, that's why I started drinking wine, you know, for a little while, thinking that well, that's what he does now.
	He drinks wine, so I'll just drink wine, I'll be fine.
	And I I bought a gallon of Burgundy, Ernest and Julio Gallo on Valentine's Day for myself and my wife to drink, you know, with along with the dinner that I made, my first wife.
	And she didn't drink.
	Uh, so you know, it was all for me.
	And I never drank wine again uh since February 14th, 1993.
	Wow.
	I mean, I quit that before I quit all the other stuff because I thought I was gonna die the next day.
	I mean, I really did.
	I that's the first time I thought a hangover might be fatal.
	So you don't drink it all now.
	No, I haven't drank in 21 years, but tonight might be the night.
	Yeah, who knows?
	Well, I guess if you always had that mentality, you're less likely to have relapse.
	I suppose, yeah.
	I mean, I don't think of it as a relapse, it's just changing your mind.
	Uh, you know, like uh it's like um I I'm not saying that I I I've certainly taken advantage, of course, of the the programs that exist and and stuff like that.
	I don't really like to talk about it because it's not really like something to specifically mention, but uh I you know uh that's the way I did it, and and I I've never been happier.
	I I thought I was that I had to drink, you know.
	I thought that was like um I thought it was like buying gas for the car.
	Yeah, I um I nipped it in the bud.
	I quit drinking in 2015, I think.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	2015.
	And I was not an alcoholic when I quit, but I knew that I was gonna be.
	Uh just because I it I got some family that have alcohol problems, and they slowly became alcohol problems over a couple of decades.
	And I think I was like 26, 25 at the time.
	I was like, you know what?
	I've really got it in me.
	So I probably should quit now before it gets to be a problem.
	Well done, man.
	Well done.
	You know, I mean, like if you the thing is, if you can just quit that quit like that, though, then you see the sense of that.
	You probably were not an alcoholic.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I wasn't, but uh the irony.
	I just I just know that I could be.
	I've got like the spirit for it, you know.
	I I am a I'm a little bit of a cynic.
	Um, I I fucking love I love the poets, and you know, like the Jim Morrison was my idol growing up, and I could just totally give in to like hedonism.
	Yeah, I could totally give in to hedonism.
	Yeah, and so I just decided that listen, do I want to fucking make money and like be around for my family, or do I want to live this life?
	And I just decided I was gonna fucking that one fashion no one.
	Are you super selfish?
	Yeah, I'm super selfish.
	Okay, well, then maybe you are an alcoholic.
	You know, uh Morrison was uh he was he was like my the doors were my first favorite, like uh you know, teenage band.
	Me too.
	And uh I was 13, 14, got into the doors really big.
	I mean, that I probably still know them more than I know any other group, you know.
	I mean, they only have six albums, you know, so it's not too tough.
	Yeah, at one point in time I could probably type all the lyrics to every song.
	I you know what we should have we could we could have a doors off, you know, and and uh I bet you'd win because it's been a long time.
	I got burned out, but I still love the doors.
	What's your favorite door song?
	Right now, the changeling.
	And I I got into that later stuff, that LA Woman stuff, more uh, you know, later on, because I used to be into all the lizard king type shit, you know, in the in the organs.
	I can do anything.
	Yeah, I even I had a by eighth grade talent show for crying out loud.
	I did a uh recitation of celebration of the lizard, you know, falling on the ground thing for an eighth grader to do in my parachute pants.
	But that's awesome.
	Yeah, it was fun.
	Uh yeah, I it sort of established a reputation for me after that now that I think about it.
	But but then later on, I got into more the Roadhouse Blues type stuff, Maggie McGill and uh the just you know, the stuff that actually is pretty good.
	And then there's the future's uncertain and the end is always near.
	That's that's is a great, great line.
	You know, he had some great, great lines.
	He had some dumb, dumb lines, but he had some great lines.
	Yeah, I I fucking loved him.
	I got into them because I watched um I grew up, I was born in '90, and I had three older brothers.
	So sort of some eclectic um retro uh influences that most people my age didn't have just because I was born.
	My parents were 41 when they had me.
	My oldest brother was 17 years older than me, so I was really not my generation.
	This is insane.
	What no, no, my parents were like 39, 40, and 39, and my oldest sister is 16 years older than me.
	Wow, that's crazy.
	So I'm the young and I'm the youngest of three.
	I don't know, uh, four rather.
	I'm the youngest of four, too.
	That's wild.
	So I uh but they're all boys, but I uh I watched the Doors movie probably when I was too young to watch it, and that's when I fell in love with Jim Morrison because Valkylmer nailed it.
	Um then I read No One Here Gets Out Alive, and then I started buying the poetry books, and then I listened to all the records.
	No one here gets out alive is like the it that's a big gateway uh book into that whole war.
	Yeah, it's very good.
	I really enjoyed that book too.
	Uh and and the thing that got me into it wasn't the movie, it was it was earlier than that.
	It was something that came on HBO called Too Young to Die or something like that, or no, it's called When the Music's Over.
	And and Morrison was in that, and Lenny Bruce was in that.
	So I kind of got into Lenny Bruce too, not too long after that, especially when I started thinking about comedy rather than music.
	Realizing that, you know, with musical talent, you know, you there's really like uh I don't know, man.
	You have to get other people to cooperate with you and shit like that.
	There's always too much drinking involved, but you know, with stand up, you can do it, you know, because it's just you, and that that's what sort of guided me into stand-up, but yeah, it was that special when the music's over.
	I was at early death stuff.
	I don't know why that was interesting.
	Before that, it was like very manolo.
	Yeah, for me, it was um it wasn't the early death stuff that I was particularly interested in necessarily.
	It was um what fascinated me about Morrison was the idea that we could use um psychedelics or any draw any substance to open your mind.
	I was like into the fill the philosophy of it, like the enlightenment aspect of it.
	I see I was like one of the first kids to ever smoke pot at my school because I was like, No, man, this is like I'm gonna open my mind.
	It was just pot.
	But you know, that was it.
	I think there's something to be said for that.
	I mean, it does a trick.
	Yeah, it does a trick.
	So I mean, I know I heard Dark Side of the Moon in a different way after I got high.
	I know my brother and I sat and listened to it and giggled the whole damn time.
	We listened to that that sort of darkish kind of album.
	And yeah, uh, I smoked a lot of weed, and now don't get me wrong, I did psychedelics and stuff like that, but I didn't uh I don't know.
	I'm I'm a little dubious on the doors that it opens up, but it's sort of reduced everything to a genericism that I found fascinating.
	Yeah, I could get fascinated just by a stupid phrase, you know, like go to work, you know what I mean?
	Like it's your work, and like sort of breaking down human existence into work and and then you have recreation and sleep, and and if you if you're a good human and you go to work, you eat all these things that are really not interesting at all, but they seem fascinating at the time.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, I do I do kind of know what you mean.
	Just the I don't know.
	Yeah, the the almost like the trivialness of of everything, but you don't really realize it unless you take a second to look at it.
	Like, yeah, uh whatever you're doing, you're inherently interested in.
	I mean, it's it's it's the thing you're the most interested in while you're doing it, but then if you look at it, you're like, why the fuck was I interested?
	It's like when you watch porn, and as soon as you bust, you're like, Why the fuck was I watching that?
	You ever had that?
	Like, what the fuck was I watching?
	Oh, sure.
	You know how that happens too.
	She's not nearly as hot as she was five seconds ago.
	Thank God you could just close the damn thing.
	You don't have to get anybody to leave, you know.
	Oh, yeah.
	See, I and I downloaded the DuckDuckGo browser on my phone, or the yeah, yeah, on my phone, so that you can hit the fire button and it just all goes up in flames, and it's uh that's the difference enough.
	I'm I'm not quite porn on my phone, young, you know.
	I mean for me, masturbation is still an event, you know.
	We used to respect us, but uh, you know, like uh what they start off with stuff you're interested in, actually, right?
	Like, and then you know, and it gives you all these clips, you know, and maybe you didn't get to watch one that was the appropriate length, right?
	So you're still not finished.
	And so then you know it gives you eight, you know, to choose from, maybe, and seven of them are exactly what you just watched at different iterations.
	But one of them is like, well, give this yeah, and then eventually, all right, fine, mother and stepdaughter, you know.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Especially if it's close to the holidays.
	Did you know that?
	Did you know that that that the steps shit blows up during holidays?
	That's hot.
	That's that's actually kind of hot.
	I don't know why, but I find that that's kind of a hot idea that that happens.
	Oh, oh, yeah.
	But see, the thing is I never had step family.
	So like I never experienced like having a crush on like somebody I was unrelated to that was like suddenly at every holiday event.
	They only make it step just so just to so they will have a broader appeal and not you know uh truly offend all the uh anti-incest people, you know.
	Really do you think it's actually an incest fetish and it's just as close as you can get?
	Well, I think mother and daughter it shouldn't be because really there's no way they can have a kid, right?
	So I mean, like, what's really wrong with it?
	I mean, if they're both of age.
	I guess I'm but that's that's usually they I mean, like they they they manage to sell it so quick, you know.
	Whoever is seducing who says the mother seducing the daughter, they're like, Come on, let's have sex.
	No, that's uh you're crazy, you're my mother, and then within five minutes, it's like, yeah, lick it.
	Like that is some fast grooming.
	Yeah, really what it is is sales training, like Jordan Belfort, you know, from Worth of Wall Street.
	He has like the straight line sales system where you can pay like five grand or whatever and get like the workbook.
	And honestly, if you just watch enough like step fantasy porn, you should know how to convert anybody within like 30 seconds.
	If they're family, you know right where those buttons are, I guess.
	You know, you're playing on the trust, but I guess it's a sales technique, the you know, playing folks, maternal trust, uh like whatever it is that you know tell them what you're selling, why they want it, and then just execute, right?
	Always be closing.
	Yeah, ABC.
	So yeah, like let's like how would it how would it go?
	Like, imagine like if there was a car salesman, right?
	That was trying to sell you like a Nissan Versa, you know, pretty dorky shitty car.
	Um, and I noticed that because I had two of them.
	So imagine the sales guy's trying to sell you a Nissan Versa, but he's using the step porn fantasy sales method.
	How does that go?
	You show up with the car lot.
	Well, you know, first of all, I gotta call you by your first name the whole time, which is what they do anyway.
	Right.
	Find your first name and go, you know, uh I've watched you grow, you know.
	I've watched you I see your your progress, you know, and I don't want you to not know what you're doing, you know, when you get out there driving with you know this is other people your age.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You know how they that's usually the sales pitch is something like uh I can help you with your problem.
	Oh god, I hate to see you hurt, you know.
	It all comes from a kid.
	Yeah.
	Personally I'm I'm all about the uh I'm all about the automatic, but that doesn't translate into no stick.
	I I still cannot I can't watch I can't watch porn with any men in it, you know.
	Really?
	Yep, yeah.
	I go through phases.
	I've probably been through every every heterosexual phase under the sun.
	You know what?
	Yeah, it's sad when when I think back to all the different stages I've been through, and I know I was in them for a period of time.
	There's the Asian massage stage, you know, and the uh the the mother's stepdaughter and daughter and not her daughter.
	They say not her daughter, just in case you're gonna call child protective services or something, you know, and report them.
	Uh or uh, you know, the uh well, I was if I go through my whole list of porn genres, it's gonna be a very depressing show.
	Right.
	Well, we can just do a screen share and pull up the category section of porn hub and basically yes, yes, yeah, no, yes, yeah.
	Not on your life, man.
	No.
	Man, this conversation's been badass sixty.
	We found my limits.
	We gone from the doors to porn just car sales.
	We have broken on through to the other side.
	Yeah, man.
	This is what enlightenment looks like.
	If you if you have ever taken acid in your life, you will break on through the other side and arrive here.
	Welcome.
	What's the uh what's the worst thing you've ever watched on acid?
	Um, I have actually never taken acid before.
	I have only taken shrooms.
	Oh, okay.
	Shrooms are so much better.
	I used to have so much fun taking shrooms.
	Uh, but I didn't take them until it was like really grown.
	I mean, like uh I said I haven't drank in 21 years.
	I did take some shrooms a few years ago, and uh we used to just jump on the subway, this girl and I, and uh we would just laugh our asses off and talk about how we were on drugs, and it was a it was a blast to take the end train from Queens into New York, uh into Manhattan and just fucking follow our noses all day.
	It was the most fun.
	Not back to nature type shit, but you know, it w it was all right.
	Uh mushrooms, they never were like frightening to me or anything like that.
	Acid was pretty scary.
	You want it to be over.
	Well, I see.
	I would I would take LSD if it was the shit that they were making in the lab in the 60s.
	But today it's like, where the fuck did this come from?
	You know, like the best.
	People started taking acid, it was like the fucking lab grade shit.
	And now it's like somebody's fucking reading the anarchist cookbook and trying to make it in their kitchen, and it's like, I don't know if this is gonna work out.
	Is that the way it is?
	I really didn't know.
	I I assume that you mean the Timothy Leary type stuff that they're using in like uh I don't know, army experiments to see what people can do and what they can't do.
	Right, yeah, that's what I mean.
	I think it was I think the acid was better 50 years ago.
	Wow, but the leadership was I think it was I think the acid was leaking from legitimate sources then and now it's just being made i uh illegitimately and the other the uh it's gone the other way around with weed with weed, it used to be illegitimate, now it's legit, and that's why it's better.
	So you so legitimacy that's important when you're talking about I think so because I think what's happening is like if you if you buy weed that's like from the market, like the black market, like cartel shit, for example, and I obviously anybody could grow weed, so I'm not saying that all weeds cartel, but the cartel they don't follow any like pesticide regulations, you know, so you're smoking like whatever the fuck they like grew, and I think if you buy the lab grade shit, it's gonna be better, man.
	Like when you have people like can legitimately do it and hire a real scientists and they're like messing with the genes and they're trying to figure out you know how to breed this with this to make it have the higher THC volume, and how do we you know mitigate the anxiety factor associated with the greater high so that you can get as high as you want without having increased anxiety, like they're doing the science shit that the cartel's not doing, they're just like fucking spray it with age and orange and fucking grow it.
	I don't know.
	Wow, obviously not agent orange, but right, yeah, yeah.
	Spray it with whatever.
	Well, you know, they they come up with some interesting results that way, you know, like this uh K2 that they have now, which is like uh this potpourri that they it's not even weed to begin with, they spray it with different chemicals and uh they go good luck, you know, and it gets you fucked up, but then they outlaw it and they have to change the chemicals.
	You can never really get used to what the hell's going on.
	I've never tried it before.
	I mean, like I've seen people on it, though.
	Man, they really are unpredictable.
	It's it's sort of like uh PCP, but I think without the strength, you know, I don't think it actually gives you the chimp strength that PCP can give you.
	I mean, you've never taken PCP.
	Oh, really?
	I'm looking at you and I'm seeing a background of a lot of angel dust, man.
	I I don't know.
	You seem like a real dust guy, and there you are.
	I didn't even know that was the name for it, man.
	Oh, I'm from the street.
	Yeah, uh well, no, this I saw a video from Atlantic City where a guy was on PCP, gets out of his truck, you know, he's led them on this, he's led the cops on like I don't know, 20 minute chase, gets out of the truck and just has a gun and just you know, starts shooting, and the cops are you know, they're all there, they're lined up, and they shot him something like 30 times with handgun or taser with guns, you know.
	I mean, because he was at a distance and firing a gun at them.
	I mean, this was back.
	This was back when you could still you know kill a criminal, yeah, and sort of like it didn't always turn into a bad thing, but man, I mean, the guy was walking towards them and shooting, getting he got a lot closer, and he and they were just like holes bullet holes, you know, just like he was just getting shot up and took one of them got him in the knee and he finally fell down.
	It looked as if like, oh, this guy's basically indestructible.
	Well, I think that proves that if you die, it's only because you you gave up like a pussy, you know.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Like if you could say it's all will, bro.
	So, like everybody who's ever died just gave up.
	They just gave up, yeah.
	They stopped fighting.
	You know, that makes you wonder about what this could do for the Olympics, too.
	You know, like PC in the Olympics boxing on PCP.
	What do you think?
	Do you think that they should just legalize all performance enhancing drugs so it's fair again?
	Fuck it.
	At this point, you know, if they're gonna have male weightlifters competing with the women and shit, yeah.
	Let's just go ahead and give them PCP.
	We spat on the flag and all that is holy at this point.
	Why not?
	What if they did that as like a troll where you have you know a uh um uh oh I'm trying to fucking say it the right way so I don't get banned.
	You have an XX chromosome person compete as an XY chromosome person in a weightlifting challenge, but the XX is like secretly allowed to take infinite numbers of PCP.
	So you got this girl just kicking everybody's ass.
	Yeah, that would be a funny troll, man.
	You lost me with all those variables, but I think I know what you're talking about.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, basically if you had a girl compete in the male event.
	Oh, in the male event, right?
	Yeah, but it was loaded up.
	Yeah, the trans person didn't even uh win a medal in the weightlifting.
	Apparently they still, yeah, the dude.
	I should say the person with a the individual who was born with a penis.
	The X, the XY, yeah.
	Uh and you know what?
	I mean, this rapino chick with the purple hair.
	I'll just say it.
	You know what?
	You win a gold medal, you can come back and talk shit.
	I guess, you know, if you kneel uh during the anthem, we gotta kind of put up with that.
	You come back with a bronze medal, go fuck yourself.
	Yeah, I agree.
	You have to win.
	That's why they should start doing the national anthem at the end of the competition.
	Yeah, because if it if they did it at the end of the competition, then I don't know that she would have had the balls to kneel at the bronze.
	Yeah, that's you know what?
	You make a good point.
	I mean, she would have, she has no taste, she has no shame.
	She's uh she's just a terrible individual, like so many are today.
	They should make it an Olympic event where um it's uh who who can stand the longest for their national anthem, you know, like as an athletic endeavor.
	So it's like they just play it on repeat until somebody sits down.
	It's like four days.
	Like a dance time there, just yeah, people are just standing there just like shaking like these plays.
	That would be a better tribute.
	Wouldn't that be awesome to watch with like a time lapse, you know?
	So many of them are moving in the background, you know, real fast.
	Broke PCP into that too.
	Oh, right.
	Time lapse days are going by, and they can't eat or drink, they have to be fed.
	David Blade shit, yeah.
	David Blaine.
	Yeah, you into him, he eats frogs or something.
	Does he actually swallow those things?
	Is that something he does?
	I can't even.
	I don't know that he eats frogs, but he does some he does some some crazy shit.
	But he's on Joe Rogan eating frogs.
	I know you can swallow a sword, right?
	And um uh I don't think the stuff that he does is fake.
	I think it's just unbelievable.
	Well, he probably knows how to do some fake shit, though.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, I'm sure his car shit stuff stuff stuff fake is fake.
	But um I like this the David Blaine Street Magic stuff from the 90s.
	That's like if you watch those old tapes, those are fucking crazy.
	He's walking up to people and he's telling them how much change they have in their pocket.
	And obviously, he could be faking it for TV, but I just don't think he's he's faking that.
	Yeah, I don't I think he's a trickster and and because he's a magician, but I don't think he's like a con man where he would just fucking lie to you like that.
	How could he possibly know how much change somebody has?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	That's the whole sexual idea, right?
	Yeah, but a guy like that, when he does magic in the street for white people, they don't appreciate it enough.
	The black people know how to enjoy magic.
	Yeah.
	Oh shit.
	They won't do that!
	Oh they're I tell you what, man.
	One thing I I appreciate about African American culture is those motherfuckers are way more fun.
	To hang out.
	Yeah, my brother-in-law, my brother-in-law said he was recently in Mexico and they they did like an A TV day.
	He's like, There was a group of black people when we showed up that were like all you know on vacation together at Cabo, and they were having more fun than anybody I've ever seen in my entire fucking life.
	Just like ATVs, you know.
	I bet, just riding around making jokes and stuff with like uh busting on each other or whatever it is they do.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I sound I never sounded whiter than what I just said.
	I just realized busting on each other, but you know, like white people be driving an A TV like this.
	I think that they uh 10 and 2, honey, 10 and 2.
	Black people be like, you know, uh I think that uh black people enjoy comedy more, you know.
	Have you ever watched uh you've seen Showtime at the Apollo or the things from the Apollo, the way they enjoy comedy, they're like literally falling out, you know, of their seats sometimes into the aisle, running up and down the aisles, uh swinging on chandeliers, you know.
	They really enjoy a good laugh.
	And uh I noticed that when I stopped talking about race and my stand-up, I got a much better reaction from all people, but you know, black people in particular, you know, would be more likely to tell me afterwards, really enjoyed your show, you know.
	And I didn't have a lot of racial material, but I would touch on it.
	And and and uh I'm still here by the way my camera just froze I gotta reset it.
	Okay, yeah, but but even touching on it it's it's uh you know it doesn't always seem to come from a place that everybody is comfortable with there's nobody more nervous than an all-white audience though when it comes from anything racial really see I well I don't know do you think that it's just easier for black comedians to get away with talking about it.
	Listen to what you just said what did you just say yes I think it's much much easier.
	Yeah yeah so so I mean because I could fucking go to a Chappelle show and I don't think I would have any reluctance to laugh about anything he said about race.
	No, but I mean an all white audience not a white person in the audience I'm talking about like if you had now if he's talking to an all-white audience there will never be a more giving audience you know but to a white comedian if he's trying to talk about race an all-white audience gets very nervous about that they really do it is ex unless it's a compound media audience.
	I also have a show on compound media called Crime Report and it's just like New York City Crime Report except it's all over the world.
	so I can talk about any state, anything.
	And basically, I just had a lot of fun with that show.
	It's live every Thursday on Compound Media.
	And it's like Compound Media is, I can't explain how free speech it is.
	It's like it's something that's so important and valuable right now in particular, more so now than it was even in 2015 when I became part of it.
	It's like, you know, I really do believe the media is the enemy of the people and the Compound is the enemy of the media.
	So, you know, if the enemy of your enemy is your friend, you really need to be with Compound Media because there's no more truthful place than that.
	So, like, I completely, in giving that little promo, I lost my whole point.
	Well, what's the, tell me a little bit about what Compound Media is.
	Compound Media is a network for podcasts.
	It's like, it's, you know, like in a visual format.
	You know, we have a studio and, you know, like it's here in New York.
	It's in Midtown and we,
	we know like I guess there's probably 10 shows it's four days a week you know I mean there's so much content that you couldn't watch at all there's no way you could stay caught up on all of it a couple of days a couple of the shows are four days a week are you familiar with uh opi and Anthony at all you ever hear of that the radio legends that that that name is familiar is ringing a bell but I I'm not familiar well that they were they did radio in in Boston and New York uh for a long long time like 20 25 years or something like that.
	They had this huge following.
	I mean, they were, you know, guests on Letterman and stuff like that.
	And they made a lot of comedians.
	They broke a lot of comedians, you know, probably more than any of the talk shows were doing at the time.
	Now that I think about it, you know, like talk shows kind of stopped breaking comedians once Letterman went to CBS and stuff and everything kind of got diluted.
	So, like, you know, radio was kind of filling that gap and they were great.
	But Opie, kind of a douchebag, and Anthony is super funny.
	So, uh you know one night Anthony was in Times Square he's taking some pictures and uh he got harassed by this woman and then he made a bunch of comments on Twitter that got him fired.
	So he uh started his own network in 2015 called uh the Kumia Network which is now you know compound media he's great he's a true legend he's one of the funniest people I ever uh met and without his network I don't know where I'd be right now you know I mean because it's being linked with like minded people is people call it tribalism it's like fuck you I'm I'm looking for anybody who agrees with a tenth of what I say.
	Well and anybody who calls anything tribalism is really just saying that's not my tribe yeah when you do it is tribal like if you're if you're fighting like the Native Americans and fucking you know 1810 right and you say fuck these guys they're tribalists like well yeah but you're just part of the white tribe right like so yeah anybody who calls anything tribalism is just it's bullshit you're they're just saying you're not my tribe somebody like having a big problem with tribalism at that time.
	Like, um, that's a big problem in this country.
	Really, I we kind of thought some of these beheadings and stuff and burning of our sake tribalism is insensitive to indigenous people.
	It's like fucking dicks.
	I think it's incident raping my daughter and uh stringing her up from like you know, people Indians were violent people sometimes.
	They did some very and toward each other.
	There's a lot of a lot of red on red crime, and uh you know, like like when Trump gets in a fist fight with Cruz, Jesus that happens all the time, especially like at Burger King, you know, you see that, and it goes on.
	Then Trump's Trump's wife.
	I give you a whopper, I'll give you a whopper.
	I'll tell you something interesting.
	Man, in videos when like when somebody gets their dress ripped off, their pants, they have no pants or underwear on, and their wig has been snatched, and they go on fighting as if they are fully clothed, nothing's wrong.
	Yep.
	How that type of commitment is what we need.
	That is just a lack of care that I aspire to.
	I think I mean I can't, I cannot dangle like that.
	I mean, it's not men, it's never men.
	It's it's it's always those are women.
	Any man ends up naked, he's gonna like leave.
	I don't know.
	If I'm in a fight, and the fight's gotten to the point where my pants got ripped off, I don't think I'm done fighting.
	Well, I I you just say, all right, you won.
	That's where we're different.
	Yeah.
	I I'd say, yeah, I can see it.
	I am standing here pantsless.
	You're the winner.
	You can be next in line.
	Because keep in mind, what you're arguing about is something that happened at a burger king.
	It was never supposed to come to this.
	I don't know what happened.
	One thing led to another.
	Here we are.
	I'll go.
	Yeah, it's wild.
	I guess I guess it just winds up looking like the first fight that Adam and Eve Eve had before the before the apple.
	Wow.
	They they you that was an argument leading up to the apple?
	I thought it was just more of a seduction.
	It was an argument.
	She's like, eat this.
	He's like, No, she's like, eat it.
	I made it.
	I made it for you.
	So you don't like my apples now?
	Yeah.
	What do you think would have happened?
	Well, how is that story play out if they just actually never ate the apple?
	Because here's the thing that bothers me about it, right?
	You could they apparently they couldn't sin before the apple, then after the apple, it's the original sin.
	Now we're all sinful.
	It's like, well, if you couldn't sin before, then like how did you do the first one?
	But the tree of knowledge by eating by disobeying uh God.
	He said there's one thing, just one.
	You can do anything you want.
	One son only knew how to do one sin.
	You take Eve, and and you don't even have to take her in private.
	You stick it in her fucking uh cornhole, do anything you want, you know.
	You right, she is yours.
	Don't eat an apple, right?
	All right, right.
	I and the guy is like, this is cool.
	I can deal with that.
	Yeah, but of course, he's like, What do you mean?
	I can't women's women are so stupid.
	I've been taking care of this fucking garden every day for millennia, and I want to eat from the tree of knowledge.
	Stat I don't see any reason.
	Who is he?
	I talked to this snake.
	Okay.
	Very interesting ideas.
	He said, You've been growing a lot.
	I just want to make sure you know how to eat other apples.
	Yeah.
	He's like, all right, baby.
	Chomp.
	Oh shit, my dick's out.
	And why is it a snake?
	Like in the story.
	Do you think it's just because they're like a fucking slithering like belly, like close to the dirt as possible?
	Is that the metaphor?
	But they weren't at the time, they had legs.
	What do you mean at the time?
	Like at the time.
	That was the he was cursed.
	The snake was cursed to crawl on its belly after that.
	So prior to that, it had some other maybe it had wheels.
	I don't know.
	It didn't work.
	So it wasn't it was an alligator, and then it became a snake.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, maybe a monitor.
	Or uh, yeah, it's uh maybe a chameleon.
	I don't know, any kind of a small lizard, uh a gecko, but it was it was not a snake.
	That's interesting.
	I never thought about like that.
	You're right.
	Yeah, and you gotta crawl in your belly forever, and you'll know when your dick's out.
	And the snake was like, you dumbass, I was already doing that.
	Basically, any do I my legs are pretty short?
	This is better.
	That was the whole reason to do it, just so he could crawl on it, get rid of his fucking limbs.
	Yeah, tricked you.
	And And then and then that's why women have to have the pain of childbirth and having a period and everything because of that, too.
	Because he fucked them up.
	Whenever they're fucking feeling annoyed.
	But they have to have a period.
	They should remember.
	It's it's really their nature.
	Yeah.
	It's their fault.
	It's their nature.
	Even if they didn't have periods, they would make that same decision.
	You know, and I don't think that God's punishment uh for men, you know, having to work by the sweat of your brow is actually what the punishment was.
	I think the punishment may have been um like when you're working by the sweat of your brow, your wife like coming in and saying you you don't spend enough time with me.
	It's tolerating women.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, it's just having to deal with that.
	I love to work.
	I love to work, man, but I hate being nagged.
	He even says in the Bible in Proverbs, I think it says better to live on the ro on the corner of the roof than in the uh in the uh in the house with the nagging woman.
	Does it say that in Proverbs?
	Yeah, it's Proverbs or Psalms.
	I can't remember which one.
	It's one of those, yeah.
	Somebody sang it.
	Yeah.
	So it's a tune.
	A tiny corner over the roof than in the house of the nagging woman.
	And you know, I'm I'm not I'm not anti-women by any means.
	I think it's better to live on the corner roof than in the house with anybody who fucking nags, but uh no, no, I mean, like I'm I'm anti-woman, I'll go ahead and say it.
	I mean, like, I'm I'm by nature men are anti-women, you know.
	I mean, like, uh, if you if you're a man, you have some sense of logic of reason, a desire for peace, a desire for things to just be chill.
	Good is good.
	Let's just keep it that way.
	Women are chaos, storms, fucking things up, taking something that's good, some rear, you know, because they're women, or do you think it's have to do it has to do with how the way our culture raises them?
	I I'm not sure that I no, I'm not trying to like have some fucking leftist like argument with that.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	You know, I didn't mean I didn't mean to sound like that.
	But like, but like fight, but like Viking women, I bet were pretty badass.
	You know, I bet you they were cunts.
	They're probably like nightmares.
	Nightmares.
	Think of the Viking.
	Your own damn shield.
	Yeah, I'm out here.
	Yeah, they were bad.
	They're none of them have been good.
	Well, I mean, they're there you need them.
	She was great, Cleopatra.
	Margaret Thatcher, she hell of a woman.
	No, look, I'm not saying women are there's nothing good about 'em, but I'm just and I'm just against them, you know.
	I mean, just like they would be against me.
	you know, they, if I told you you had a nice body, would you hold against me?
	Yeah, I was trying to look for a punchline there too.
	And I never heard that, yeah.
	You ever heard that joke before?
	Yes.
	I mentioned a joke the other day to a couple of young women, younger women, you know.
	Like, if I say younger, to me, it's like uh 20s.
	A twelve girl was 24, and the other was like, I don't know, 29 or something, 30.
	And and I I the old limerick, there once was a man from Nantucket.
	They didn't know any more of that limerick than they didn't even know what the fuck I was talking about.
	They never talking about.
	You've never heard that that is gone.
	Dirty limericks are a thing of the past.
	They have once was a man from Nantucket.
	I have no fucking clue what that is.
	Well, you know, just Google those words, and it'll give you the whole poem, I'm sure, unless Google is so fucking uh calm now that it doesn't even watch it sounds vaguely familiar.
	Yeah, I mean, a man from Nentucket.
	I I would tell you the rule, you want to hear the rest of the limit limerick, it's just vulnerable.
	I gotta pulled up, but I don't know if I can say it.
	No, it doesn't have slurs.
	Okay.
	I just don't want to get kicked off like you.
	Well, you say it.
	Go ahead.
	You're reading it for the first time.
	See if you find it amusing.
	Personally, I don't.
	I don't think so there, so there once was a man from Nantucket who kept all his cash in a bucket, but his daughter named Nan ran away with a man and asked for the bucket and tucket.
	That's not the fucking poem.
	Where are you reading that?
	Fucking Wikipedia, bro.
	That sounds to me like some kind of commie horse shit.
	That sounds like that's the 1902 print Princeton Tiger written by Professor Dayton Voorhees.
	So it probably is commie shit.
	Here's yeah, you're right.
	So there's like but I so I can I think they started to I think people started to bastardize the original, and that was why that it was funny.
	But that's the original.
	I think that's the original, and then people bastardized it because maybe kept all his cash in a bucket, and then what happens?
	But his daughter named Nan ran away with a man, and as for the bucket, Nantucket.
	I don't even get it.
	She took the bucket.
	Yeah, Nan Tuckett.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Boy, that is like uh that's the kind of rhyme like from like Bob Dylan had his song.
	I'm not I'm not really into old Bob Dylan.
	I only like like three albums that are like for in the 90s and early 2000s.
	Yeah, I like just mote the song most of the time.
	That's pretty much the only bob.
	Most of the attack.
	He has in high fidelity or something.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He's got a song where he says, uh, you know, I'm gonna recruit an army, some tough sons of bitches, I'll recruit my army from the orphanages.
	I thought that was a great rhyme.
	But Nantucket, boy, that is that's right up there.
	So here's here's one.
	There was a young man from Nantucket whose dick was so long he could suck it.
	He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin.
	If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it.
	Yeah, there you go.
	That's it.
	That's it.
	That's that's the one.
	That's the one.
	Is hysterical.
	It's pretty funny.
	What's that fucking weasel from Star Wars?
	You know what I'm talking about?
	No.
	Yeah, Java the Hutt.
	He's got like a little pet.
	Yeah.
	And like there's a scene where like Job of the Hutt's like fucking grabbing ass or something, and the weasel just goes, I think it might have been like one of the Lucasfilms like redoes of his old movies because he kept fucking fucking them up and added like animals and shit.
	I think he added that I don't know if he added that, but she's finding it for it.
	I'll say you'd like.
	I love it.
	You know, I I love I love dumb shit in those Star Wars movies because it's just so it's such a blind spot.
	There's so much money being spent, you know, and then they can how can you have such a huge blind spot?
	You think we want to look at this little kid, race is pod or whatever the fuck it was.
	That movie was not even the worst of those uh second three, I don't think.
	I never like the only thing that got better was this was the lightsaber choreography.
	Uh-huh.
	Those got better every movie, even through Disney, but but everything else got worse.
	And it's so frustrating because it's like, imagine Picasso coming out with his fucking famous blue period, you know, paintings, and then like he decides he starts, you know, he wants to fucking paint like Hunter Biden.
	It's like, what the fuck happened, man?
	Like you had it, you had it.
	Where'd it go?
	Oh, right.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I see what you mean.
	Yeah, just like, wow, you really lost the knack here, didn't you?
	Yeah, like how could you come to the conclude?
	Like this how could you be so correct and amazing and then just proceed like to fuck it up from there?
	Like, like the difference in the hustler and uh the color of money or whatever, you know.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Exactly.
	I actually do know that fucking cultural reference despite being in the line.
	I fucking love the hustler.
	Yeah, black and white Paul Newman.
	Yeah, the color of money, he's the mentor, and it's Tom Cruise, and it was cute, but it wasn't the hustler.
	And it's an Oscar-winning performance.
	I think they gave him like a retro sort of Oscar for that, you know, because he deserves something, but I mean, like Tom Cruise kind of like uh made that movie kind of something else, but uh and it was white what's his name, Scorsese, right?
	You like Taxi Driver?
	Yeah, yeah, I do like Taxi Driver.
	I do not know what you think about it, but I'll tell you the truth right now.
	I fucking love Taxi.
	I think you know what I think about it.
	I love that movie.
	Okay, yeah, I love every part of it.
	You're talking to me, yeah.
	You talking to me.
	I don't see anybody else here.
	Yeah, well standing here, and and and he's got when he's buying all those guns and the gun salesman like that's a beautiful gun.
	Nah, it's a beautiful gun.
	Nah, that's a lovely gun.
	Look at this little cutie.
	You know, he's talking to go through all these guns and shit.
	It's the cast of characters is so like uh wildly kind of all over the place, but at the same time, there's only a few, you know.
	Uh the other cabbies, I guess, you know, Sybil Shepard, uh, Albert Brooks, who was fucking who is the girl?
	What's her name?
	Not Winona writer, but um, she's Silence of the Lambs Yeah, yeah, Jody Foster.
	Jody Foster, thank you.
	I mean My girlfriend looks just like the young prostitute Jody Foster.
	Really?
	Mm-hmm.
	That's nice.
	So she looks basically like a 12-year-old girl.
	Yes.
	Because she's 12.
	She sees a couple more summers.
	She thinks we're related.
	She thinks I'm looking after her.
	She's not that smart.
	No, she's she's older.
	She's 37, but uh, you know, older than 12.
	But uh considerable.
	Yeah, yeah, way up there.
	Well, she's closer to being 12 than Joe Biden's age.
	But she does look like that.
	Yeah, she does look like that.
	Yeah, and Joe Biden has more of a fucking 12-year-old mentality right now.
	You know, watching him talk has become like uh like a national pastime, isn't it?
	Because people still they still call it gaffes, but it's like gaffes.
	No, that's that's this is typical uh of a man with dementia.
	He's you know, I mean he's completely deranged, and uh you know, I like to say I don't know if I'm watching uh the White House or the naked gun sometimes, you know.
	I mean, like it's just so silly.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And people are like, oh, it's just fucking Republicans being you know dicks, but the truth of the matter is I don't know a single Republican that wouldn't be begging for for Barack Obama to be president over Joe Biden right now.
	Well, we basically I hate Barack Obama.
	I think Barack Obama is president right now.
	I really think that he not anybody listens to fucking why would anybody listen to him though?
	He's got no power.
	He has ultimate power.
	He's he's the ultimate elite.
	He is untouchable, he's unassailable, nobody can ever have a problem with anything he does.
	He's the most popular US president, take a poll and see.
	Yeah, uh he that will never end.
	He has uh the the gold card forever, you know, and and I think that he definitely is the intelligence community.
	I think the fucking FBI and CI run the show.
	Oh, sure they do, yeah.
	But he's maybe Bobama works for them.
	Yeah, he's he they have to fucking respect him, you know.
	I mean, because he can get a lot of their shit done.
	I mean, he he's proved that.
	I mean, he just like fucking go, okay.
	Well, here's what we're gonna do.
	I'll I don't want to feel like passing a law going through Congress and shit.
	You know, Republicans are trying to win all these congressional races and stuff and the Tea Party and all that stuff, and he just goes, How about some guidance?
	We'll just do some guidance.
	All right, in schools now, uh, you can go to any bathroom you want.
	And if you don't, we'll just take away your federal funding.
	Same with rape in colleges.
	If you don't convict some boys of rape, then we'll take away your federal funding.
	Guidance.
	Yeah, that's guidance.
	That title title nine shit was fucked up.
	Yeah, totally.
	You would have been in school around that time.
	I was in school around that time, and I had to deal with that shit.
	To be honest with you, I had personal experience of being falsely accused of sexual assault.
	You're joking.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Well, I'm I I don't really want to share details, you know, because it's not like you're a rapist, I get it.
	But I mean exactly.
	But what happened was there was an accusation made by a girl who I dated on and off for about a year and a half, and it was bullshit.
	And um the university recognized that it was bullshit, but it was an ordeal.
	So I'm just lucky.
	I'm lucky.
	I mean, honestly.
	You mean you must have made it to like Oral Roberts University or something.
	Well, I went to Belmont University in Nashville and I was student body president.
	I knew the administration, and I think that they just knew that it was bullshit.
	But wow, I don't know.
	I I mean it was it yeah, so like uh it it's it's a big deal.
	Lucky because I was lucky because the claim was made like a month after I graduated.
	So I wasn't even a student at the time, but I think if I had been a student of the time, it would have been a nightmare.
	They could have expelled you, they could have suspended you, they could have stopped you from graduating, they could have done it.
	But they told they told me they're like they they wrote me a letter and they're like, hey, we didn't we don't think you did anything wrong.
	We're not gonna you're in good standing, no problem, just you know, wanted to let we had to let you know that this happened.
	Thank God you're gonna be able to do that.
	I talked to a lawyer, and my lawyer was like, listen, you're just you're a ghost, just don't fucking show don't show up for a while.
	I was like, no problem.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, didn't go back to my school for any events, didn't talk to anybody related to that person, and that was it.
	Low profile, huh?
	I mean, how severe was the accusation?
	Was it like severest form?
	Oh my god.
	Wow.
	That would that would be uh anal rape.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, and jump out of the bushes, violence, uh a weapon.
	Uh but no, she said.
	Well, and the funny thing the funny thing about it is I got a fucking genetic bleeding disorder, hemophilia.
	It's the most severe bleeding disorder you have.
	Like, I'm not like forcing anybody physically to do anything.
	Like there's there's no fucking way.
	Like If you like if I got in a fist fight with you and you hit me in the stomach, a normal guy would, you know, like buckle over and like maybe puke.
	I would die.
	That's where you're on.
	If I punch any man in the stomach, they will die.
	Yeah, okay.
	All right.
	Fair enough.
	I'm that kind of dude.
	I am the point of the of the matter is like there's I'm not like fucking I'm not uh even physically capable of doing something like that.
	Wow, yeah.
	You can't uh you're you're physically incapable of raping a woman.
	Yeah, I think I might without severe injury, yeah, for sure.
	Well, yeah, I mean, I I don't think I could get my dick hard though, is what it is.
	I mean, like, I don't think I would be aroused by that much rejection.
	I just don't uh the the power aspect of it doesn't appeal to me, you know.
	I mean, like power to me has to be uh consensually given, otherwise, you know, you're just who gives a shit.
	Yeah, it's only it's only hot if you like if you actually close the deal.
	You know, like that's the that's what's sexy about getting laid.
	It's going out and like closing the deal.
	It's like an ego thing, like, hey, she wants to because I'm so fucking awesome.
	You know, that's that's the sexy part of it.
	But it like just forces somebody to do it.
	It's like if it's like cheating.
	Like, like, do you actually feel good about fucking like cheating in a game of Monopoly?
	Like, haha, I won because I was you know, not actually paying the bank.
	Exactly.
	I was stealing properties.
	Yeah, I had counterfeit in my pocket.
	Monopoly is a game, it is so over, right?
	I mean, like uh overrated.
	Over, just over.
	It's like it's like now they they've tried to evolve it in different into different, you know, like you might like you'd have, you know, uh Simpsons Monopoly.
	What's the name of this show?
	One American uh Monopoly or something, you know, or Simpson's Monopoly, or New York City Crime Report.
	It's all my fucking podcast guest face on the fucking squares.
	Yeah, I'm gonna buy some Pat Nixon for 50.
	Yeah, I think you put me about like around those orange properties, maybe.
	I'm I'm feeling like a light blue.
	Whoa.
	Wow, I'm gonna do it.
	Yeah, I'm gonna be a railroad, bro.
	There you go.
	Yeah, then you're all over the board, and uh yeah, you can't improve on it though.
	That's probably I know, I know.
	But it's just it's nice to have some real estate and diverse markets.
	It is.
	We'll be right back.
	So where can uh where can people find you, man?
	At crime report.nyc.
	That's a good place to go.
	Crime report.nyc is kind of you know, whatever.
	I want to tell you about some of the other stuff I do.
	You can find compound media.
	Subscribe to subscribe on compound media, and that would be that would be great.
	There's all kinds of different plans.
	I do a live show there on Thursdays.
	I'm also doing a lot of live stuff.
	You don't see I mean, this is live, that's great.
	I love live stuff.
	Anything can happen and shit.
	Uh so there's a lot of that stuff on there.
	And it really does look, you know, it's it has uh you just have to just watch some clips, compound meaning it's great quality.
	Uh I do a show called Too Woke to Fuck that's like a sort of a liberal parody show, you know, where you take woke ideas and just follow them to their logical conclusion.
	Uh, you know, myself and another guy would kind of do characters, I guess, who believe all this shit, you know, but they're the super liberal guys in their 40s who are like you know, uh trying to make it all work in their in their minds and stuff, you know.
	And so uh it's it's too woke to fuck.
	It's very funny, it's it's heavily edited, and it's not for everybody, uh, because it's a little unusual sounding.
	There's a musical element to it.
	Uh, but it's uh the the number two, the word woke, the number two again, and then F period.
	So you know, two woke two F. Uh, because you can't just go ahead and say fuck on iTunes, but New York City Crime Report is kind of like the thing I've been doing the longest.
	And uh, you know, I just did some stand-up in your town, Austin there, and uh man, what a great town.
	Uh for you.
	Hit me up next time you're in town.
	I'll go, I'll come to your show for sure.
	Yeah, we did it at uh the uh I think Rogan's opening up here.
	Gas company, something gas company.
	I've only been here for a year, so I'm very familiar with all that.
	I was called Vulcan Gas Company.
	Great place, great venue.
	I mean, like it was it was really cool.
	Uh, you know, like uh great balcony and shit.
	We packed out a bunch of shows.
	People really do like to come and see the stand-up.
	A bunch of stand-ups are on the uh network.
	Uh, you know, Gino Buscani is one of them and Aaron Berg and Chrissy Mayer, who is uh she's got a show called The Wet Spot, you know, so there's something for the ladies to leave Stark's show I'm on uh every week as well.
	The wet spot.
	Yeah, she's a dog for a show.
	Yeah, she's she's a peach.
	Uh and uh I shouldn't say doll.
	Uh that's that's I don't mean to diminish her.
	But you know, I think I think that um uh it's got a certain American charm.
	American, you know, did we talk enough about America?
	That's what I'm concerned about.
	I'm really concerned about it.
	We can talk, we all have uh we don't have um a limited amount of time.
	We can talk as long as you want.
	I just wanted to be, I didn't want to take up your whole night, but I'm here for you.
	Yeah, clearly I gotta America standing here against the mirror.
	Uh let's talk about America, bro.
	In a changing room somewhere, yeah.
	You know, America is the greatest country ever.
	So it's it's it's the well, it certainly has been at one point in time.
	Yeah, and and yeah, the the greatest uh it's very ambitious in in in its you know concept and stuff.
	I think the founding fathers might be surprised it's even still going at all.
	Yeah, I think I'm gonna tweet right now that America was the greatest country of all time.
	It once was yeah, it was it was the greatest.
	And then I for me it ended.
	I mean, I know it ended for a lot of people at different times.
	You know, there's probably people who like uh when Kennedy got shot, maybe that's where they date it from, you know.
	But I would go with uh you know 9-11, we thought it was gonna bring everybody together, and then George Bush goes, by the way, don't go about four years, don't go beating up Muslims.
	He said that really quick, though.
	Don't go beating up everybody's gonna want to go commit hate crimes against Muslims.
	No, we're not.
	Why are you saying that?
	You know, you're saying it because it gives the liberals a talking point, and then they can start nagging again, and it starts all this back and forth again, you know.
	I mean, it's just like that's a very controversial thing to say when you think about it.
	In a time when everybody's feeling peak patriotism to say, uh no, no, no, don't go out there and there's no reason why a Muslim woman should have to stop it, just stop saying that.
	And and that kicked it all off again.
	Uh and put us right back in the same boat.
	And then we have identity politics became the dominant narrative because we can't say shit about that.
	We can't say like, yeah, because every time 9-11 came up after that, some liberal person would go like, but it's important not to take it out on the Muslims, they would scold you, you know.
	And it pissed us off, but we still couldn't say anything about it, really, you know, because like that makes you an Islamophobe or something.
	And so that's when they started really beating us with this idea that like identity politics over everything.
	And that, you know, got kicked into high gear, but like over a period of time, Trump comes along, exposes the media, and once they're exposed, you know, they're like the naked person in the in the uh in in the Burger King who wants to fight harder than ever.
	I gotta ask you about this because I struggle with the whole Islamophobia like criticism.
	Okay, so I am not a racist person.
	In fact, I would go so far as to say that I don't necessarily believe that race even really exists.
	Okay, so I don't know if we agree or disagree there.
	I don't care.
	That's not my point.
	My point is like someone calls me an Islamophobic, right?
	Someone you're an Islamophobic, and I I and I say, okay, so do you believe in the Muslim faith?
	They say, Well, I'm not a Muslim.
	Like, so you think everything they believe is bullshit.
	Like, otherwise, if you didn't, you would become a Muslim, right?
	They're like, Well, yeah, yeah.
	So it's like, how the fuck is that not Islamophobic?
	Like, you like if you're not a Muslim, it's because you don't believe any of their shit.
	Like, if you believed it, you'd be a fucking Muslim, right?
	Yeah.
	Like it's that simple.
	Like, I'm not a fucking Lutheran because I don't believe that bullshit.
	Like, am I a Lutheranophobic?
	Like, I don't know.
	Fucking ridiculous.
	Yeah, I mean, we're yeah, you're all if you don't believe their shit, you're afraid of them.
	Yeah, I'm not necessarily even afraid.
	Just a phobic.
	Like, I'm just not part of it because like I go away, I go a different direction.
	Like if you say something's hydrophobic, it means water doesn't stick to it, right?
	So yeah, I'm as I'm Islamophobic.
	Like, yeah, I'm not anti-Islam.
	I'm just like I'm going somewhere else.
	I'm not a fucking Muslim.
	Sorry.
	Okay, so yeah, your interpretation of phobic is not like the it's like you said, you know, high school.
	Yeah, like if I'm homophobic, if I'm homophobic, I'm not like I'm not like yeah, I'm not like bigoted.
	Like I I don't have a problem with gay people.
	I think they should have the same rights, whatever.
	I got gay friends.
	I've even fucking fought for gay rights before.
	There's a whole story about that.
	You've even said a couple of dicks.
	I mean, yeah, yeah, just you know, you gotta try it, you know, before you knock it.
	So but I'm so but I am homophobic in the sense that like I am certainly avoiding homosexual activity.
	Like you know You don't want to be around it at all.
	I don't want to do it.
	I don't want to participate.
	So in I won't even watch the Al Pacino movie Cruising.
	Won't even watch it.
	Set of a woman j that's all for me.
	Sentible woman.
	Yeah.
	Ah smell pussy in here.
	Yes.
	But he's not a rat no I don't.
	But uh great movie.
	But uh what?
	So Scarface?
	No, Sense of a woman.
	Sentinel Woman is a great movie.
	I saw it once and forgot all about it.
	I mean the the impression is all I remember from that.
	Well I mean it's a little bit sentimental, you know, but uh I really like the court scene in the end when he shows up to fucking back this kid.
	He was about ready to he was getting thrown on the bus by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
	You can't handle the truth.
	Yeah.
	It was kind of like that, yeah.
	But he's like yeah he's like he is not a Baylor man or whatever and he's like but he's not a ratio what would you say your top five movies are Cool Han Luke number one.
	Um great choice.
	After Cool Han Luke, I don't fucking know man That's that that's the one I mean I like I like movie I like all the Tarantino movies, man.
	I'm fucking regular plebe in that shit.
	I love you think he's gotten better yeah I do.
	I think his last movie I think is I think the tech has certainly gotten better too.
	You know what I mean?
	Like how can you really compare like a movie like Pulp Fiction to the most recent War Dogs or Yeah yeah yeah or Reservoir Dogs to you know uh Hollywood so the high budget stuff yeah so I I think he always um I I think he's probably gotten better but he was always so good that it's almost hard to see the improvement.
	You know what though I have to say watching pulp fiction now is a little bit like running your tongue over a sore tooth or something, you know, 'cause it's just like you can't stop with that those d the dumb dialogue in Pulp Fiction man and some of the corny ass, you know, like when she makes the little square.
	Yeah.
	I love the way it's cut up.
	I love the way it's edited.
	It's really great.
	You know, obviously fine classic movie.
	Does not age well when they're talking about like I don't know like cube dice versus crush dice, you know oh fuck cubes yeah yeah cubes are amazing.
	Or the the foot massage arguments the famous one right like talking about whether or not a foot massage was enough to justify throwing the guy out the window.
	Yeah.
	I still think it's entertaining man.
	Would you give a man a foot massage?
	Fuck you.
	Yeah.
	He had a pretty good point.
	But then there's the you know the uh what do you call uh uh Royale cheese and all that shit and five dollar milksh I gotta see what a five dollar milkshake tastes like I got a theory about John Travolta and not everybody goes along with this but I he's been in Hollywood and acting a long time and I think that he believes he's in every movie that he's in like whatever movie he's in he thinks that's happening.
	Because he's such like a like a serious method actor no because he's just a fucking he's crazy.
	I think that he's crazy and phenomena sucked and he believes that he is Michael the angel or whatever the you know what I mean like he's phenomenal Battlestar Galactica or whatever the fuck that was I'm a big Battlestar Galactica fan.
	Don't fuck with Battlest man no no no I didn't mean that like whatever that was with the uh you know it wasn't called Battlestar Galactic what was the movie that he was in that was so bad it was the uh Scientology movie uh I didn't know that he was in a Scientology movie yeah he he well he was in Swordfish which it was one of the like yeah it was one of the stories that uh L. Ron Hubbard wrote I think you know it was phenomena which was phenomena was a science fiction one where you're battlefield earth because a super oh that sounds familiar.
	I don't know I think it was Battlefield Earth.
	I think that was the one yeah so they they he got one of Ron Hubbard's books made into a movie.
	I think I think I think it was some kind of Scientology theme or something.
	I would say Jaws is my favorite movie.
	I think Jaws it is just lean there's no fat on it did you see the HBO Steven Spielberg doc?
	It's really good.
	I didn't see it.
	Man if you have HBO you should watch it.
	I got HBO Max is that yeah yeah that works that works.
	Yeah so there's a whole Steven Spielberg documentary where it's they're actually interviewing Steven Spielberg talking about his whole career from beginning to end and he goes through like every movie and what it was like to make and all the shit.
	You'd love it.
	He was sort of like that uh seventies kind of um yeah, he he invented the blockbuster, basically, and uh you know George Lucas is a little bit more I don't know, like like the you know, they they you know that this like era of movie making was the era of the director.
	It was only for a few years, you know.
	Like there's a movie called Raging Bulls and Easy Writers or something, and it's all these guys like uh fucking uh sam pack and pa and you know uh yeah, those dudes are in the dock.
	Yeah, those good some of those guys are really interesting, and then some of them are just pretentious dickheads, you know.
	I mean, it makes you think, man, I can make a fucking movie.
	Well, what the hell?
	You know, we should make a fucking movie, Chase.
	We should make a movie.
	Which by the way, Chase Geyser, thank you.
	Sounds very much like the name of a guy who should be in broadcasting, which you are, but it sounds like a guy who's like the local news with Chase Geyser, you know.
	Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
	This is Chase Geyser on Yes Radio, otherwise known as NPR.
	Yeah.
	I'm Anita Bug, and I'm not even that hungry.
	That's a reference I don't get.
	Anita Bug was was this MPR host, and when I lived in Nashville, and every day she's like, I'm gonna need a bug.
	And I was like, why are you gonna eat a bug?
	Like, what the fuck?
	Yeah, I'm gonna need a bug.
	I'm gonna eat a bug.
	Well, that's great.
	I didn't even know I'm gonna eat a bug.
	And I'm not even that hungry.
	Her name was Anita Buck.
	Bug like B U G G, I think.
	Oh, her name was Bug.
	I need a bug.
	She's like, I'm gonna eat a bug.
	I'm used to it.
	That's really great.
	Yeah, I swear she's real.
	I'm gonna need a bug and I'm not even that hungry.
	No, I mean I can't you uh you lived in Nashville.
	Did you grow up in Tennessee?
	No, I grew up in the middle of nowhere, Illinois, and I went to Tennessee for college.
	And false rape accusations.
	Vanderbilt?
	Oh no, you told me the college you went to.
	Christian, small Christian school down the road from Bandy.
	Okay.
	I went to MTSU.
	Oh, cool.
	Murphy's borough.
	I bet.
	Yeah, I grew up in Tennessee over near Chattanooga, Cleveland, Tennessee.
	I don't really go around telling people my hometown all the fucking time.
	But I'm telling you, down on the south, but I'm telling you, man, every dumb person I met in the south is smarter than every smart person I met in the north.
	Yeah.
	I agree with that to a degree.
	I know growing up in my town, they there was a certain attitude that they had where they were sort of like they loved to have any situation where they could feign confusion with you.
	That's that's what's so brilliant.
	What?
	Huh?
	Yeah, you need a who you need what?
	Do what now?
	Do what now?
	That was a big Tennessee one.
	Do what?
	But I like they didn't hear you.
	You didn't even ask me to do something.
	Like you said, hey, like are uh uh do you know where the where the where the wrench is?
	And they say, do what now?
	Yeah, do what?
	No, don't do anything, don't do anything.
	Just tell them where the wrench is.
	I'm not telling you to do anything.
	Do what?
	Do what?
	No.
	And they're always fixing everything.
	People come from the north, they find that funny.
	Oh yeah, fixing what are you fixing?
	Stop fucking with it.
	You're gonna break it.
	Yeah.
	Well, and they use the term fixing too.
	Like, I'm fixing to go to the mall.
	Yeah, that's like they love fixing so much they just say fixing.
	I'm fixing to go to the mall.
	I'm fixing to make dinner.
	I'm uh I'm I'm fixing to lose my mind.
	And wrecking.
	I reckon I reckon that's probably right.
	They do a lot of reckoning.
	Stupid, but it's fucking charming.
	And y'all should actually be a contraction.
	It is way more efficient than you guys.
	Yeah, it is.
	It's one syllable.
	It does make you sound like a dumbass.
	If you're well, you all have a very natural contraction to make.
	I don't understand why that's a thing.
	You know, y'all.
	I like y'all.
	Did you watch Lost, the TV show?
	No, but I had a cunt girlfriend who did.
	It was one of the things I one of the things I hated about her.
	I guess she's weird.
	And guess who's coming on the show?
	Welcome, Michelle.
	Wow, I married two women named Michelle.
	You pegged it.
	My first two were named Michelle.
	Yeah.
	That's generational, bro.
	And the third one was the third one was named Mandy.
	And uh, yeah, it is generational because I was looking, I happen to be.
	What else am I supposed to do?
	I'm trying to narrow it down to one I can deal with.
	But why don't you just date somebody for a long time then it's marrying them?
	Well, I did.
	I did.
	Oh, I'm a very romantic guy.
	I think if I think that you know you don't you don't love a woman unless you also fucking hate her, you know.
	I mean, I just don't think that one of those emotions can exist without the other.
	I think that if you I think you've never loved a woman if you haven't hated her fucking guts and wish she was dead, even maybe that might be doing too fast.
	I'm not saying this because my wife does not watch the show.
	I'm not saying this just to make my wife happy, but I do not hate my wife.
	Have you ever hated her though?
	Oh, yeah, for moments of rage, yeah, for sure for moments, but I've definitely gone through an extended period where I felt hatred for her.
	Well, I mean, hatred, I guess, is if you're gonna define it uh super literally, you know, then maybe not.
	I'm just making sure I understand.
	I'm sorry, I'm not trying to like fucking no, no, no.
	I I I see those moments of rage as like moments of clarity, you know, where you're like you really discern the fact that you hate this fucking individual.
	I remember one time in particular, I could tell you.
	Yeah, I I um set my alarm for like 4 30 in the morning one time because I had so much fucking work to do the next day.
	I own a small advertising business and I had like way too many clients, and it was just insane for a while.
	And I remember the alarm went off at 4 30 in the morning, and she like snapped that the alarm went off that early.
	And I I just went into a rage.
	Like, do you think I want to get up at 4 30 in the morning to like make money so we can fucking buy a house and live in California where we're living at the time?
	Like, do you think I want to pay the taxes?
	Like, like it was a bad argument, but it that was probably the worst argument we ever had.
	But that was like that's a that's a specific example of the rage.
	Like, I love her and I loved her, but I never felt more hate in my life than like those you know, 15 minutes of just like you're yelling at me for waking up to fucking pay for like everything you want.
	Yeah, look around you.
	You see nothing but evidence of my love for you.
	Right, right.
	You think I want to wake up at 4 30?
	I'm doing this for me because I'm selfish.
	Like, are you serious?
	What a dick I am.
	You know what?
	News.
	I had a similar thing.
	So I know one time.
	So I didn't.
	Yeah, one time I locked my wife out because I was drunk and I passed out, and she had to get a guy to like uh the you know, property manager to come over with a screwdriver and undo it.
	And then she had the nerve to come wake me up.
	And I'm like, what the fuck?
	You think I want to wake up right now?
	Same shit.
	We're practically the same guy, but it's just pretty.
	You're what I might have been if I had to quit drinking uh earlier rather than when I was 30.
	But uh well, maybe I made the wrong decision then because God do I want to be you.
	Oh, sure.
	Who wouldn't?
	Who wouldn't want who wouldn't want all of this?
	Where yeah, where are you right now, man?
	Are you at your party?
	Oh, I mean, yeah, I'm at home.
	This is this is uh this is where I live.
	This is all of it.
	This is all of it.
	That's awesome, bro.
	You got the fucking cool backdrop with the glass and everything.
	Yeah, and then I've got this I got a green screen, yeah.
	It doesn't get used quite enough.
	But uh hey, look, you know, I I love where I live, and it only cost me 2500 a minute to live here in Manhattan, so that's good.
	But uh you actually do love living in New York.
	I mean I I love I I used to, and now I'm kind of uh up in the air about it.
	You know, I mean, I like the people that I know here, and I used to love working all the clubs was great.
	Post-COVID, it's kind of like a new car just coming up.
	I don't know.
	Uh, it's like Texas, man.
	I'll cook you up on Austin.
	Thinking about it.
	I used I've worked cat Cap City was uh actually the last club I drank in uh back in 99.
	We should go back there.
	Yeah, see what's up.
	I've got a picture of myself and Greg Geraldo.
	It's in it's the last week I drank, and I look like I ate Greg Geraldo.
	I swear to god, I'm I'm so fucking puffy and worn out.
	Oh, yeah.
	It was like I was like a very I mean not that I'm like in peak condition now with my tits and everything here, but I look terrible.
	And I look very unhappy.
	Look at that.
	That's a beauty.
	That that see that that's a beauty.
	You can hammer you can go out and hammer nails all day with that.
	Oh bring it back and it'll cut straight down the I got the dust cover with the fucking that's your ass flag.
	I'm ready for reaction.
	That's beautiful, dude.
	Just fire off a couple of rounds, can you?
	No, I can't because I don't live on 10 acres, but if I lived on 10 acres, I could legally Fire off my gun.
	That's what you need 10 acres.
	Yeah, 10 acres.
	And you know, and anywhere but Austin, you can afford to get 10 acres in Texas.
	So if you buy land with at least 10 acres, you can go in your backyard and shoot your AR-15.
	No problem.
	So how is it guys like us wind up in these fucking metropolis of I'll tell you exactly why?
	Because I told my wife I wanted to move to Texas, and she said she was only leaving California if she lived in a major city.
	And I said, Fine, I'll move to fucking Austin, Texas.
	Why not?
	I mean, I guess Dallas would be the same deal, huh?
	Yeah, Dallas is better than Boston in terms of like you know not having to deal with like social justice bullshit, but it's way better to live in a red in a blue city in a red state than a red city, a red area of a blue state.
	You know, so like every time the mayor does something fucked up in my city, the governor corrects it.
	So it's like yeah, I live in a blue I I live in the bluest part of of one of the bluest states.
	I'm a more but but New York's special because you're a comedian and there's some fucking smart people there.
	And I'm telling you something, the Democrats in New York are not pussies.
	Anyone who lives in New York, you cannot live there and be a pussy.
	You just can't fucking make it.
	Dude, they're totally pussies.
	They're the worst.
	They're the worst.
	They walk around with masks outdoors and they job past you.
	I had a lady jog past me during lockdown.
	Nobody's around.
	I'm smoking a cigarette on the corner.
	This young woman jogs past with a mask on.
	What do you mean?
	The mask isn't even keeping out the cigarette smoke.
	Yeah, how do you think it's keeping out fucking COVID?
	Well, yeah.
	What do you think the air is like in New York City to begin with?
	There's metal shavings in it.
	You you people get lung cancer here earlier than they do other places.
	You you're a fucking moron.
	Why are you outdoors?
	They're out with masks on, they are uh the biggest social justice idiots.
	Yeah, that's true.
	That's true.
	But here's the thing though, man.
	Per capita, per capita, I'm not sure.
	Because like if you live anywhere with millions and millions of people, you're gonna see a lot of dumbasses.
	But there's some there is some smart person for every dumbass, you know, who's able to afford to wear a mask and run in the middle of a weekday.
	There is some smart dude busting ass surviving for that person, right?
	You know, you know, and you know who that is usually, they don't speak English.
	I know, you know, a lot of that.
	I mean, I I I meet a lot of people that I'm sympathetical with who are from you know Pakistan or whatever, you know, because they see all this shit going on and they go, Oh yeah, governments lie to people.
	Americans don't seem to know that, but yeah, they're totally lying to you, and this is bullshit, and they're making us shut our businesses down.
	Yeah, it it's it's really and so you try to you you communicate on that level as best you can, you know, but you have to be careful too.
	Because I had a five dollar bill that I found, and it said uh I mean, I want to make sure I get the phrase.
	Yeah, somebody wrote on it, and it said uh Alan, please save us, right?
	And I was like, that's weird, you know.
	Alan Greenspan?
	Alan, please save us.
	And so I was showing it to the guy at the fucking uh convenience store, you know, just a friend of mine who happens to be a Muslim guy.
	I'm like, look at this.
	And then I realized it actually says Allah please save us.
	Oh, yeah.
	And I'm showing it to him, like, oh look.
	And uh you gotta be careful with shit like that, because I think I actually uh awakened to sleep yourself.
	Next time I saw him, he wouldn't look me in the eye.
	I mean, change things for the worse.
	Things started to blow up.
	Started taking pilot license, dude.
	He said he was getting his pilot license.
	Uh yeah, it's don't need to land.
	You know, you start watching license to kill.
	All these things, man, happened here, like you know, the Eric Garner thing, the chokehold they talk about.
	That wasn't a fucking chokehold.
	And and trying to talk sense in it's interesting as a comedian because I've kind of like stopped trying to be like uh obviously I'm not anything that I'm not.
	So I'm talking to a diverse young audience in the village, and I'm saying, yeah, I'm like your substitute fucking teacher here or something.
	I'm the oldest whitest person here, but you know, uh don't throw anything, and uh you start talking to these people.
	It's like they they find shit funny, but they know that they're not supposed to laugh at it.
	It's it's weird.
	The generation now that will actually resist laughter unless it's just like fucking they just can't help it or it hits critical mass or something.
	I mean, I I I wonder about this generation, but then again, I guess over.
	I think the generation I'm millennial, I think Gen Z is gonna be badass to be honest with you.
	Yeah, I've seen good.
	I look at my nephews.
	I look at my nephews, they're 15, 16, 14, like they fucking worked their ass off.
	They bought their own fucking first cars.
	Shit that not I didn't even do.
	And I thought that I wasn't really of my generation.
	And um, and I just see a generation that you can't trick them because they know that so much is bullshit.
	Yeah, like did you know that the Gen Z generation, like an astronomical number of them don't believe uh that Helen Keller is real?
	They don't believe she's real.
	They don't they don't believe that she was deaf and blind.
	So you tell them about how Helen Keller in school, and they just did like a study or something.
	I can't remember where I heard this, but uh an astronomical number number of them are just like, yeah, bullshit.
	That's interesting, and I think that's awesome.
	And I believe in Helen Keller.
	Don't get me wrong, but they're just like, yeah, fuck you.
	No way.
	I don't buy it.
	I don't know.
	Maybe I don't believe in Helen Keller.
	No, no, think about it.
	Why would I why would I believe some movie with Melissa Gilbert?
	Is it more likely that she made it up or a fucking speaking gig at book sales?
	There are a lot of snake oil salespeople in the fucking 19th century or whatever.
	She was exploited by communists, you know that, right?
	She was a wobbly.
	I don't know shit about her.
	All I know is that facts about Helen Keller, she was a wobbly.
	They used they they marched her out as like, you know, power to the people, communist shit.
	That's true.
	If you're fucking dumb and blind, communism, you know, might be for you.
	That seems perfect, doesn't it?
	You're like, oh my god.
	Yeah, I know.
	But I do know the system of government that we should all be living under.
	But yeah, but I just think it's fascinating.
	The Jet Z. Like apparently they like it.
	It was like something that happened one year where I don't know if it was like a viral idea or something, but the teachers were like, none of my fucking students believe in Helen Keller.
	I can't, like, how the fuck can I explain it to him that Helen Keller's real?
	You know I love that though.
	Maybe she's not though.
	Yeah, what would you cast anybody at this point?
	What would you put past anybody?
	The fake insurrection, you know, the capital police.
	Yeah.
	So what does that say though about what they're gonna be like in 15 years when like they start running for office and you know they're voting and they're working?
	Like, I don't think they're gonna be fucking critical race theory leftist pussies.
	It's the millennials that are fucking it up.
	They're the teachers now.
	They're my age, they're teaching, they're in the fuckups.
	Gen Z is badass.
	You know why the millennials are so fucked up is because of the boomers.
	Well, I'm not a boomer.
	Generation X is a very small generation, right?
	It's very elite elite fraternity.
	And and and the the boomers had kids, and they were like, We are from the 60s.
	Oh my god, we invented America.
	We are the best things ever, and these are the best children ever, and they don't have to chew their candy, I'll chew it for them like a mother bird, and they have to wear a helmet when they ride their bike and all this shit, and and and and peanut allergies and helicopter moms and all this.
	They ruined it just like that because they bought into all that stuff that's supposed to soften us up, and and the boomers are the worst generation of people that ever existed.
	Yep, they suck.
	And you know what?
	If you think boomers are old, Joe Biden's not even a fucking boomer.
	He's from the silent generation.
	Do you know that?
	He's too old to be a fucking boomer.
	He's old enough to remember when Hitler died.
	He was born like five years after AC was invented for the car.
	This fucking guy is so fucking after it.
	After he was born in 1942, I think, and I think AC in cars was like 39 that was invented.
	Trump's pretty old too, but you never know it.
	But there's a big difference between 72 and 76, though.
	Apparently there is my dad's 72.
	I'm sad to say it.
	But if you're 76, man, like the older you get, the more precious every minute is.
	Like, isn't Biden 79?
	Well, you might be now.
	I think he was 78 when he was elected.
	So yeah, feasible he's 79.
	So okay.
	If he got elected, if he got elected for a second term, he would be 86 at the end of it.
	He's not gonna be elected for a second term.
	I don't think that's possible.
	I don't even know if he was elected for the first term.
	Who fucking knows?
	No, I know he's obviously he wasn't.
	You've never met a Joe Biden voter, neither have I. They don't exist.
	Nobody voted.
	Nobody's ever run for president three times and then one.
	I mean, I mean, I don't know.
	You know, there's a lot of shit wrong with him, man.
	I mean, and then you lose the harder it is to win that fucking race.
	But he won like more votes than anybody more than Barack Obama, more than anybody in the history of anything.
	Yeah, he's that fucking popular.
	And they tell his poll numbers, what are they 51%?
	And he's up there saying that like uh he doesn't know how many people there are in the country.
	Well, and here's the thing.
	I don't even think that Trump got the number of votes that he got.
	I think they had to do fake votes for Trump in order to make it look like I I think that the whole thing was just inflated.
	Like I think that they had to like fuck with the numbers enough.
	I don't know.
	Maybe that doesn't add up in m mathematically, but I think that I think the comment was so high just generally.
	I think he got I think he beat Biden.
	I think he beat Biden, but I don't think I think he won 50 states.
	I think he literally won every state, including Delaware.
	Way you think he's yeah, he won 49 states.
	I think he won the same states he won in 16.
	That's what I think.
	Yeah, well, I mean, that's that's more likely.
	I mean, why would you?
	I never met anybody who voted for him the first time that's like not going to, except for Joe Walsh.
	Joe Walsh was on my podcast.
	He voted for him in 2016 and didn't vote.
	That's strange.
	That's strange.
	Joe Walsh is an interesting guy, isn't he?
	He's like sort of a never Trumper, but he's like anti-crime.
	I don't I don't I don't understand his whole thing.
	Yeah, I don't know his deal either.
	But I I I I don't agree with like most of his shit, but I I also don't think that he's lying because everything he says is like totally not conducive to any sort of political game.
	Like you know what I mean?
	It's like lose lose shit all the time.
	So it's like you must mean it.
	Yeah, he gets a tough position to take, and he's taking it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He's like, fuck Trump and front and fuck the Democrats.
	It's like now no one's gonna vote for you, dude.
	He's like, I don't care.
	He's the worst fucking person I ever met.
	You Democrats are all fucking communists.
	He's like, all right, all right.
	I don't care if they take away my radio show.
	Fuck you.
	Yeah, he's the audience for that show.
	Yeah, and so I had him on uh on the podcast for like 30 minutes.
	We talked, and it was uh it, you know, it was really I really enjoyed talking to him.
	I think he's a good guy.
	I don't agree with him, but I think he's a good guy.
	Yeah, all right.
	Well, you obviously agree with everything I say.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, I told you we were the same guy.
	So it's crazy.
	We're the youngest of four, uh super old fucking uh siblings.
	Super gay, love the dick.
	You know?
	The fucking camera freezes all the time.
	It's because it overheats.
	Oh, you have a nice camera, probably, yeah.
	Yeah, I use a DSLR and I think it overheats after like 30 minutes.
	So I have to read.
	So I I I hope that all your your viewers and listeners will check check me out.
	I do have to go.
	Yeah, and now but I want to stay friends with you.
	You're actually like uh yeah, that's that's uh I I say that uh to to not everybody, actually.
	But uh you know, we have a lot in common, and uh it was I really enjoyed talking to you.
	It was great, great conversation.
	I really enjoy it too, man.
	Real pleasure and honor to have you on.
	All right, bye.
	All right, dude.

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