One American - Chase Geiser - Pat Dixon | Is Helen Keller Real?

Aug. 8, 2021 - One American - Chase Geiser

01:23:58

Pat Dixon | Is Helen Keller Real? | OAP #42

Chase Geiser Is Joined By Pat Dixon. Pat Dixon is a comedian and the host of NYC Crime Report NOW on Cumia Network http://CompoundMedia.com Episode Links: Chase's Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/RealChaseGeiser Pat's Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/PatDixon

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chase geiser

31:51

pat dixon

46:25

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Speaker	Time	Text
unidentified		They are easy, but because they are hard.
		Mr. Gorbachev tears down this wall.
		A date which will live in infamy.
		I still have a dream.
		Good night and good luck.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Ladies and gentlemen, it's Pat Dixon.
		Why are you a communist?
		And what are you doing on my show?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know what?
		Are you talking to Edward R. Murrow?
		Because I started to think he was a comedy.
		You know what?
		I don't think that McCarthy was wrong.
		I have nothing, man.
		I'm just talking crap.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I love it, man.
		Me too.
		So I actually know regrettably little about you.
		And I just heard you were cool.
		And word on the street is it might be true.
		And what's your story?
		What's your scoop?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, I do a show called New York City Crime Report since 2011.
		I live in New York and I am sort of a fake reporter, but a real comedian.
		I do stand up.
		I've been doing stand-up for 25 years.
		And I have, you know, that show.
		It's going on for what, it's 11th season now.
		It's just New York City crime with punchlines, you know, sort of like stories from the post in the daily news, but with jokes, actual jokes.
		And so I do that.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It's been a hell of it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It's been a good year for that then.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It has, but a lot of the stuff that they've added on has not been the interesting kind of stuff.
		You know, like we like the stuff where a guy, you know, kidnaps a kid and cuts him up and leaves his feet in the freezer for some reason.
		Or, you know, when a couple of guys are staying at the, you know, international hotel up there and the guy ends up freaking out and cutting the guy's balls off with a corkscrew, you know, and wearing them around as a bracelet.
		You know, I mean, these are stories that happen.
		So a lot of the stuff now is this gang violence has just kind of expanded.
		I mean, there's still some interesting stuff.
		Don't get me wrong.
		There's plenty, but it's not the boom time that some people might think.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Right.
		We need the bizarre behavior back.
		That's right.
		We have like the very boring, sort of passe type of evil shit going on right now.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Kind of like innovative criminals.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's like New York is going Chicago, you know, just like just trying to impress with big numbers and running up the score.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		So how'd you get into all that, man?
		Just doing comedy?
		And then somebody was like, hey, we should do a radio show.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, you know, I mean, obviously there came a point in stand-up.
		Now, when I started, it was like, oh, you're supposed to get it in front of the industry and then you get a sitcom or something like that.
		Well, that's not really the way it is anymore.
		And it has been that way for a long time.
		And it changed, you know, subtly, gradually until like, well, you know, with social media, YouTube, you have to have your own audience and you have to create a lot of stuff, you know, other than stand-up.
		You can't just do it just on stand-up anymore.
		Like, I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's, you know, it's rare.
		So, and plus, I like, do I minored in journalism or majored in journalism, you know, in college?
		I actually switched to alcoholism at some point from journalism.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Alcoholics tell more truths than journalists these days.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I mean, just like Bukowski man.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's true.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Bukowski, you know what?
		I like his novels.
		I even like his poetry, which is like a rare thing.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I love his poetry, to be honest with you.
		I actually, I'm the inverted.
		I've never read a Bukowski novel, but I have studied his poetry, not in years, but in high school, I went through a big Bukowski phase.
		I remember I was in pre-calculus and Miss Duncan was the teacher.
		And she's actually a really sweet lady, but I was a dick.
		And I was reading Bukowski in her pre-calculus class while she was teaching.
unidentified		She goes, you know, that's really rude.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I just go, it's just more interesting.
		And I got in big trouble for that.
		I feel bad about it, but at the same time, you know, I was right.
unidentified		Absolutely.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know, yeah, just tell her like it is.
		And so, you know, that's young to be into Bukowski.
		I guess it's about the right age.
		I was into Bukowski in my 20s, like early 20s and stuff.
		And, you know, that's why I started drinking wine, you know, for a little while, thinking that, well, that's what he does now.
		He drinks wine.
		So I'll just drink wine.
		I'll be fine.
		And I bought a gallon of burgundy, Ernest and Julio Gallo on Valentine's Day for myself and my wife to drink, you know, along with the dinner that I made, my first wife.
		And she didn't drink.
		So, you know, it was all for me.
		And I never drank wine again since February 14th, 1993.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Wow.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I mean, I quit that before I quit all the other stuff because I thought I was going to die the next day.
		I mean, I really did.
		That's the first time I thought a hangover might be fatal.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So you don't drink it all now?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, I haven't drank in 21 years, but tonight might be the night.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Who knows?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I guess if you always have that mentality, you're less likely to have a relapse.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I suppose, yeah.
		I mean, I don't think of it as a relapse.
		It's just changing your mind.
		You know, like it's like, I'm not saying that I've certainly taken advantage, of course, of the programs that exist and stuff like that.
		I don't really like to talk about it.
		It's not really like something to specifically mention, but I, you know, that's the way I did it.
		And I've never been happy.
		I thought I had to drink.
		You know, I thought that was like, I thought it was like buying gas for the car.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I nipped it in the butt.
		I quit drinking in 2015, I think.
		Yeah.
		Yeah, yeah, 2015.
		And I was not an alcoholic when I quit, but I knew that I was going to be.
		Just because I got some family that have alcohol problems and they slowly became alcohol problems over a couple of decades.
		And I think I was like 26, 25 at the time.
		I was like, you know what?
		I've really got it in me.
		So I probably should quit now before it gets to be a problem.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well done, man.
		Well done.
		You know, I mean, like, if the thing is, if you can just quit that, quit like that, though, and you see the sense of that.
		You probably were not an alcoholic.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, yeah, I wasn't.
		But I just, I just know that I could be.
		I've got like the spirit for it.
		You know, I'm a little bit of a cynic.
		I fucking love, I love the poets.
		And, you know, like Jim Morrison was my idol growing up, and I could just totally give it into like hedonism.
		Yeah, I could totally give into hedonism.
		And so I just decided that, listen, do I want to fucking make money and like be around for my family or do I want to live this life?
unidentified		And I just decided I was going to fucking fashion.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Are you super selfish?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I'm super selfish.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Okay.
		Well, then maybe you are an alcoholic.
		You know, Morrison was, he was like my, the Doors were my first favorite, like, you know, teenage band.
unidentified		Me too.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And I was 13, 14, got into the Doors really big.
		I mean, I probably still know them more than I know any other group.
		You know, I mean, they only have six albums, you know, so it's not too tough.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, at one point in time, I could probably type all the lyrics to every song.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know what?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		We should have we could, we could have a doors off, you know, and and uh i bet you'd win because it's been a long time.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I got burned out, but I still love the doors.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		What's your favorite door song right now?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		The changeling, and I got into that later stuff, that LA woman stuff, more later on, because I used to be into all the lizard king type shit, you know, and the order lizard king.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I can do anything.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I even had my eighth grade talent show for crying out loud.
		I did a recitation of celebration of the lizard, you know, falling on the ground.
		That's a hell of a thing for an eighth grader to do in my parachute pants.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Oh, that's awesome.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, it was fun.
		Yeah, it sort of established a reputation for me after that now that I think about it.
		But then later on, I got into more of the Roadhouse Blues type stuff, Maggie McGill, and the just, you know, the stuff that actually is pretty good.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And then there's the future's uncertain and the end is always near.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's that is a great, great line.
		You know, he had some great, great line.
		He had some dumb, dumb lines, but he had some great lines.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I fucking love Jim.
		I got into him because I watched.
		I grew up with, I was born in 90, and I had three older brothers.
		So sort of some eclectic retro influences that most people my age didn't have just because I was born, my parents were 41 when they had me.
		My oldest brother was 17 years older than me.
		So I was really not my generation.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		This is insane.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		What?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, no, my parents were like 39, 40, and 39.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And my oldest sister is 16 years older than me.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Wow, that's crazy.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So, so I'm the youngest, and I'm the youngest of three.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I don't know, a four rather.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm the youngest of four, too.
		That's wild.
		So I, uh, but they're all boys.
		But I, uh, I watched the Doors movie probably when I was too young to watch it.
		And that's when I fell in love with Jim Morrison because Val Kilmer nailed it.
		Um, and then I read No One Here Gets Out Alive, and then I started buying the poetry books, and then I listened to all the records.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No one here gets out alive is like the that's a big gateway uh book into that whole world.
		Yeah, it's very good.
		I really enjoyed that book too.
		Uh, and and the thing that got me into it wasn't the movie, it was it was earlier than that.
		It was something that came on HBO called Too Young to Die or something like that.
		Or no, it's called When the Music's Over.
		And Morrison was in that, and Lenny Bruce was in that.
		So I kind of got into Lenny Bruce too, not too long after that, especially when I started thinking about comedy rather than music.
		Realizing that, you know, with musical talent, there's really like a, I don't know, man, you have to get other people to cooperate with you and shit like that.
		There's always too much drinking involved.
		But with stand-up, you can do it, you know, because it's just you.
		And that's what sort of guided me into stand-up.
		But yeah, it was that special.
		When the music's over, I was at early death stuff.
		I don't know why that was interesting.
		Before that, it was like Barry Manilow.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, for me, it wasn't the early death stuff that I was particularly interested in necessarily.
		It was what fascinated me about Morrison was the idea that we could use psychedelics or any drug, any substance to open your mind.
		I was like into the philosophy of it, like the enlightenment aspect of it.
		And so I was like one of the first kids to ever smoke pot at my school because I was like, no, man, this is like, I'm going to open my mind.
		It was just pot.
		But, you know, that was, I think there's something to be said for that.
		I mean, it does a trick.
		Yeah, it does a trick.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So, I mean, I know I heard Dark Side of the Moon in a different way after I got high.
		I know.
		And my brother and I sat and listened to it and giggled the whole damn time.
		We listened to that, that sort of dark-ish kind of album.
		And yeah, I smoked a lot of weed.
		And don't get me wrong, I did psychedelics and stuff like that, but I didn't.
		I don't know.
		I'm a little dubious on the doors that it opens up, but it sort of reduced everything to a genericism that I found fascinating.
		Yeah, I could get fascinated just by a stupid phrase, you know, like go to work.
		You know what I mean?
		Like, it's your work.
		And like, sort of breaking down human existence into work.
		And then you have recreation and sleep.
		And if you're a good human and you go to work, you eat, all these things that are not interesting at all.
		But they seem fascinating at the time.
		You know what I mean?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I do kind of know what you mean.
		Just the, I don't know.
		Yeah.
		The almost like the trivialness of everything, but you don't really realize it unless you take a second to look at it.
		Like, yeah, whatever you're doing, you're inherently interested in.
		I mean, it's the thing you're the most interested in while you're doing it.
		But then if you look at it, you're like, why the fuck was I interested?
		It's like when you watch porn, and as soon as you bust, you're like, why the fuck was I watching that?
		You ever had that?
		Like, what the fuck was I watching?
unidentified		Oh, sure.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know how that happens too?
unidentified		She's not nearly as hot as she was five seconds ago.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Thank God you could just close the damn thing.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You don't have to get anybody to leave.
unidentified		Oh, yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		See, I downloaded the DuckDuckGo browser on my phone or the, yeah, yeah, on my phone so that you can hit the fire button and it just all goes up in flames.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And it's a difference enough.
		I'm not quite porn on my phone young.
		You know, I mean, for me, masturbation is still an event.
		You know, we used to respect this, but, you know, like, what they start off the stuff you're interested in, actually, right?
		Like, and then, you know, and it gives you all these clips, you know, and maybe you didn't get to watch one that was the appropriate length, right?
		So you're still not finished.
		And so then it gives you eight, you know, to choose from, maybe.
		And seven of them are exactly what you just watched at different iterations.
unidentified		But one of them is like, well, give this, yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And then eventually, all right, fine.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Mother and stepdaughter, you know.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
		Especially if it's close to the holidays.
		Did you know that?
		Did you know that the steps shit blows up during holidays?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's hot.
		That's actually kind of hot.
		I don't know why, but I find that that's kind of a hot idea that that happens.
unidentified		Oh, yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But see, the thing is, I never had step family.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So like I never experienced having a crush on like somebody I was unrelated to that was like suddenly at every holiday event.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		They only make it step just so they will have a broader appeal and not, you know, truly offend all the anti-incest people, you know.
unidentified		Really?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Do you think it's actually an incest fetish and it's just as close as you can get?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, I think mother and daughter, it shouldn't be because really there's no way they can have a kid, right?
		So I mean, like, what's really wrong with it?
		I mean, if they're both of age, I guess.
		But that's that's usually they, I mean, like, they manage to sell it so quick.
		You know, whoever is seducing who says the mother seducing the daughter, they're like, come on, let's have sex.
		No, that's, you're crazy.
		You're my mother.
		And then within five minutes, it's like, yeah, lick it.
		Like, that is some fast grooming.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, really, what it is is sales training.
		Like Jordan Belfour, you know, from Wall Street, he has like the straight line sales system where you can pay like five grand or whatever and get like the workbook.
		And honestly, if you just watch enough like step fantasy porn, you should know how to convert anybody within like 30 seconds.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		If they're family, you know right where those buttons are, I guess.
		You know, you're playing on the trust.
		I guess it's a sales technique.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		The, you know, plain folks, maternal trust, like whatever it is that tell them what you're selling, why they want it, and then just execute, right?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Always be closing.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, ABC.
		So, yeah, like let's like, how would it, how would it go?
		Like, imagine, like, if there was a car salesman, right, that was trying to sell you like a Nissan Versa, you know, pretty dorky, shitty car.
		Um, and I noticed that because I had two of them.
		So, so, imagine the sales guy's trying to sell you a Nissan Versa, but he's using the step porn fantasy sales method.
		How does that go?
		You show up at the car a lot.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, you know, first of all, I got to call you by your first name the whole time, which is what they do anyway.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Right.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Find your first name and go, you know, I've watched you grow.
		You know, I've watched you.
		I see your progress, you know, and I don't want you to not know what you're doing, you know, when you get out there driving with, you know, other people, your rage.
		Yeah, yeah, yeah.
		You know how they that's usually the sales pitch is something like, uh, I can help you with your, oh, God, I hate to see you hurt.
		You know, it all comes from a can.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Do you prefer manual or automatic?
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Personally, I'm all about the, uh, I'm all about the automatic, but that doesn't translate into no stick.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I still cannot, I can't watch, I can't watch porn with any men in it, you know?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Really?
unidentified		Yep.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I go through phases.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I've probably been through every heterosexual phase under the sun.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know what?
		It's sad when I think back to all the different stages I've been through, and I know I was in them for a period of time.
		There's the Asian massage stage, you know, and the mother's stepdaughter and daughter and not her daughter.
		They say not her daughter, just in case you're going to call child protective services or something, you know, and report them.
		Or, you know, the, well, if I go through my whole list of porn genres, it's going to be a very depressing show.
		Right.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, we can just do a screen share and pull up the category section of Pornhub and basically, yes, yes, no, yes, yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Not on your life, man.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Man, this conversation's been badass in 60 years.
		We found my limits.
		We've gone from the doors to porn to car sales.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		We have broken on through to the other side.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, man.
		This is what enlightenment looks like.
		If you have ever taken acid in your life, you will break on through the other side and arrive here.
		Welcome.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		What's the worst thing you've ever watched on acid?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I have actually never taken acid before.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I have only taken shrooms.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Okay.
		Shrooms are so much better.
		I used to have so much fun taking shrooms, but I didn't take them until I was like really grown.
		I mean, like, I said I haven't drank in 21 years.
		I did take some shrooms a few years ago.
		And we used to just jump on the subway, this girl and I, and we would just laugh our asses off and talk about how we were on drugs.
		And it was a blast to take the end train from Queens into New York, into Manhattan, and just fucking follow our noses all day.
		It was the most fun.
		Not back to nature type shit, but you know, it was all right.
		Mushrooms, they never were like frightening to me or anything like that.
		Acid is pretty scary.
		You want it to be over.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, see, I would take LSD if it was the shit that they were making in the lab in the 60s.
		But today it's like, where the fuck did this come from?
		You know, like when people started taking acid, it was like the fucking lab-grade shit.
		And now it's like somebody's fucking reading the anarchist cookbook and trying to make it in their kitchen.
		And it's like, I don't know if this is going to work out.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Is that the way it is?
		I really didn't know.
		I assume that you mean like Timothy Leary type stuff that they're using in like, I don't know, army experiments to see what people can do and what they can't do.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Right.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's what I mean.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think it was, I think the acid was better 50 years ago.
unidentified		Wow.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But the leaves.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think it was, I think the acid was leaking from legitimate sources then.
		And now it's just being made illegitimately.
		And the other, it's gone the other way around with weed.
		With weed, it used to be illegitimate.
		Now it's legit.
		And that's why it's better.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So you, so legitimacy, that's important when you're talking about.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I think so, because I think what's happening is like, if you buy weed that's like from the market, like the black market, like cartel shit, for example.
		And obviously anybody can grow weed.
		So I'm not saying that all weeds cartel, but the cartel, they don't follow any like pesticide regulations.
		You know, so you're smoking like whatever the fuck they like grew.
		And I think if you buy the lab-grade shit, it's going to be better, man.
		Like when you have people that can legitimately do it and hire real scientists and they're like messing with the genes and they're trying to figure out, you know, how to breed this with this to make it have a higher THC volume and how do we, you know, mitigate the anxiety factor associated with the greater high so that you can get as high as you want without having increased anxiety.
		Like they're doing the science shit that the cartel's not doing.
		They're just like fucking spray it with Agent Orange and fucking grow it.
		I don't know.
unidentified		Wow.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Obviously not Agent Orange, but right, yeah, yeah.
		Spray it with whatever.
		Well, you know, they come up with some interesting results that way, you know, like this K2 that they have now, which is like this pot-pourri that they, it's not even weed to begin with.
		They spray it with different chemicals and they go, good luck, you know, and it gets you fucked up.
		But then they outlaw it and they have to change the chemicals.
		You can never really get used to what the hell's going on.
		I've never tried it before.
		I mean, like, I've seen people on it, though, man.
		They really are unpredictable.
		It's sort of like PCP, but I think without the strength, you know, I don't think it actually gives you the chimp strength that PCP can give you.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I've never taken PCP.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, really?
		I'm looking at you and I'm seeing a background of a lot of angel dust, man.
		I don't know.
		You seem like a real dust guy.
		And there you are.
unidentified		I didn't even know that was the name for it, man.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, I'm from the street.
		Well, no, this.
		I saw a video from Atlantic City where a guy was on PCP, gets out of his truck.
		You know, he's led him on this.
		He's led the cops on like, I don't know, 20-minute chase, gets out of the truck and just has a gun and just, you know, starts shooting.
		And the cops, you know, they're all there.
		They're lined up.
		And they shot him something like 30 times with maybe a taser with guns, you know.
		I mean, because he was at a distance and firing a gun at them.
		I mean, this was back, this was back when you could still, you know, kill a criminal, you know, and sort of like it didn't always turn into a bad thing.
		But man, I mean, the guy was walking towards them and shooting, getting he got a lot closer and he and they were just like holes, bullet holes, you know, just like he was just getting shot up until one of them got him in the knee and he finally fell down.
		It looked as if, like, oh, this guy's basically indestructible.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I think that proves that if you die, it's only because you gave up like a pussy, you know?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, absolutely.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, if you could say it's all will, bro.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So, like, everybody who's ever died just gave up.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		They just gave up.
		Yeah, they stopped fighting.
		You know, it makes you wonder about what this could do for the Olympics, too.
		You know, like the Olympics boxing on PCP.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		What do you think?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Do you think that they should just legalize all performance enhancing drugs so it's fair again?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Fuck it.
		At this point, you know, if they're going to have male weightlifters competing with the women and shit, yeah, let's just go ahead and give them PCP.
		We've spat on the flag and all that is holy at this point.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Why not?
		What if they did that as like a troll where you have, you know, a um, uh, oh, I'm trying to fucking say it the right way so I don't get banned.
		You have an XX chromosome person compete as an XY chromosome person in a weightlifting challenge, but the XX is like secretly allowed to take infinite numbers of PCP.
unidentified		So you got this girl just kicking everybody's ass.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, that would be a funny troll, man.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You lost me with all those variables, but I think I know what you're talking about.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, basically, if you had a girl compete in the mail event, oh, in the mail event, right?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, you know, the trans person didn't even win a medal in the weightlifting.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Apparently, oh, yeah, the dude.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, the dude.
		Yeah, the dude.
		I should say the person with the individual who was born with a penis.
unidentified		The XY, yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And you know what?
		I mean, this Rapinoe chick with the purple hair, I'll just say it.
		You know what?
		You win a gold medal.
		You can come back and talk shit.
		I guess, you know, if you kneel during the anthem, we got to kind of put up with that.
		You come back with a bronze medal.
		Go fuck yourself.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I agree.
		You have to win.
		That's why they should start doing the national anthem at the end of the competition.
		Because if they did it at the end of the competition, then I don't know that she would have had the ballistan kneel at the bronze.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, that's, you know what?
		You make a good point.
		I mean, she would have.
		She has no taste.
		She has no shame.
		She's just a terrible individual, like so many are today.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		They should make it an Olympic event where it's who can stand the longest for their national anthem, you know, like as an athletic endeavor.
		So it's like they just play it on repeat until somebody sits down.
		It's like four days.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Like a dance time.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		If people are just standing there shaking like these.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That would be a better tribute.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Wouldn't that be awesome to watch of like a time lapse, you know?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So many of us are moving in the background, you know, real fast.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Throw PCP into that too.
unidentified		Oh, right.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Time lapses.
		Days are going by.
		They can't eat or drink.
		They have to be fed.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		David Blaine shit.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		David Blaine.
		Yeah, you into him.
		He eats frogs or something.
		Does he actually swallow those things?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Is that something that I don't know that he eats frogs, but he does some, he does some crazy shit.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But some on Joe Rogan eating frogs.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I know you can swallow a sword, right?
		And I don't think the stuff that he does is fake.
		I think it's just unbelievable.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, he probably knows how to do some fake shit, though.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know what I mean?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I'm sure.
		His part shit stuff fake is fake.
		But I like the David Blaine street magic stuff from the 90s.
		That's like, if you watch those old tapes, those are fucking crazy.
		He's walking up to people and he's telling them how much change they have in their pocket.
		And obviously, he could be faking it for TV, but I just don't think he's faking that.
		I think he's a trickster because he's a magician, but I don't think he's like a con man where he would just fucking lie to you like that.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		How could he possibly know how much change somebody has?
unidentified		I don't know.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I don't know.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And that's a whole sexual idea, right?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But a guy like that, when he does magic in the street for white people, they don't appreciate it enough.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		The black people know how to enjoy magic.
unidentified		Yeah.
unidentified		Why the fuck did he do that?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I tell you what, man.
		One thing I appreciate about African-American culture is those motherfuckers are way more fun to hang out.
		My brother-in-law said he was recently in Mexico and they did like an ATV day.
		He's like, there was a group of black people when we showed up that were like all, you know, on vacation together at Cabo.
		And they were having more fun than anybody I've ever seen in my entire fucking life.
		Just ATVs, you know.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I bet.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Just riding around, making jokes and stuff, like busting on each other or whatever it is they do.
unidentified		Yeah.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I sound, I never sounded whiter than what I just said.
		I just realized.
		Busting on each other.
		But, you know, like white people be driving an ATV like this.
unidentified		I think that they 10 and two, honey, 10 and two.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Black people be like, you know, I think that black people enjoy comedy more.
		You know, have you ever watched, you've seen Showtime with the Apollo or the things from the Apollo, the way they enjoy comedy?
		They're like literally falling out, you know, of their seats sometimes into the aisle, running up and down the aisles, swinging on chandeliers.
		You know, they really enjoy a good laugh.
		And I noticed that when I stopped talking about race in my stand-up, I got a much better reaction from all people, but black people in particular, you know, would be more likely to tell me afterwards, really enjoyed your show, you know, and I didn't have a lot of racial material, but I would touch on it.
		And I'm still here, by the way.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		My camera just froze.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I got to reset it.
unidentified		Okay.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		But even touching on it, it's, you know, it doesn't always seem to come from a place that everybody is comfortable with.
		There's nobody more nervous than an all-white audience when it comes to anything racial.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Really?
		See, well, I don't know.
		Do you think that it's just easier for black comedians to get away with talking about it?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Listen to what you just said.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		What did you just say?
unidentified		Yes.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think it's much, much easier.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So, so, I mean, because I could fucking go to a Chappelle show and I don't think I would have any reluctance to laugh about anything he said about race.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, but I mean, an all-white audience, not a white person in the audience.
		I'm talking about like, like, if you have now, if he's talking to an all-white audience, there will never be a more giving audience, you know.
		But to a white comedian, if he's trying to talk about race, an all-white audience gets very nervous about that.
		They really do.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It is.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Unless it's a compound media audience.
		I also have a show on compound media called Crime Report, and it's just like New York City Crime Report, except it's all over the world.
		So I can talk about any state, anything.
		And basically, I just have a lot of fun with that show.
		It's live every Thursday on Compound Media.
		And it's like compound media is, I can't explain how free speech it is.
		It's like it's something that's so important and valuable right now in particular, more so now than it was even in 2015 when I became part of it.
		It's like, you know, I really do believe the media is the enemy of the people and the compound is the enemy of the media.
		So, you know, if the enemy of the of your enemy is your friend, you really need to be with compound media because there's no more truthful place than that.
		So like I completely, in giving that little promo, I lost my whole point.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, what's the what tell me a little bit about what compound media is?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Compound media is a it's a network for podcasts.
		Like it's, you know, like in a visual format.
		You know, we have a studio and, you know, like it's, it's here in New York.
		It's in Midtown.
		And we, you know, like, I guess there's probably 10 shows.
		It's four days a week.
		You know, I mean, there's so much content that you couldn't watch at all.
		There's no way you could stay caught up on all of it.
		A couple of days, a couple of the shows are four days a week.
		Are you familiar with Opie and Anthony at all?
		You ever hear of that?
		The radio legends?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That name is ringing a bell, but I'm not familiar.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, they were, they did radio in Boston and New York for a long, long time, like 20, 25 years or something like that.
		They had this huge following.
		I mean, they were guests on Letterman and stuff like that.
		And they made a lot of comedians.
		They broke a lot of comedians, probably more than any of the talk shows were doing at the time.
		Now that I think about it, talk shows kind of stopped breaking comedians once Letterman went to CBS and stuff, and everything kind of got diluted.
		So, like, you know, radio was kind of filling that gap, and they were great.
		But Opie, kind of a douchebag, and Anthony is super funny.
		So, you know, one night, Anthony was in Times Square.
		He's taking some pictures, and he got harassed by this woman.
		And then he made a bunch of comments on Twitter that got him fired.
		So he started his own network in 2015 called the Kumi Network, which is now compound media.
		He's great.
		He's a true legend.
		He's one of the funniest people I ever met.
		And without his network, I don't know where I'd be right now.
		You know what I mean?
		Because it's being linked with like-minded people is people call it tribalism.
		It's like, fuck you.
		I'm looking for anybody who agrees with a tenth of what I say.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, and anybody who calls anything tribalism is really just saying that's not my tribe.
unidentified		Yes.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You do what it's trying to do.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, if you're fighting the Native Americans in fucking, you know, 1810, right?
		And you say, fuck these guys.
		They're tribalists.
		It's like, well, yeah, but you're just part of the white tribe, right?
		Like, so, yeah, anybody who calls anything tribalism is just, it's bullshit.
		You're just, they're just saying you're not my tribe.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Can you imagine somebody like having a big problem with tribalism at that time?
		Like, that's a big problem in this country.
		Really?
		We kind of thought some of these beheadings and stuff and burning of ours.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think tribalism is insensitive to indigenous people.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It's like, fucking dicks.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's what I think is insensitive, raping my daughter and stringing her up.
		I mean, like, you know, people, Indians were violent people sometimes.
		They did some very red-on-red crime.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And, you know, like, like when Trump gets in a fist fight with Cruz, Jesus.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That happens all the time, especially at Burger King.
		You know, you see that and it goes on.
		Then Trump's.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'll give you a whopper.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'll give you a whopper.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I'll tell you something interesting.
		Man, in videos, when like when somebody gets their dress ripped off, their pants, they have no pants or underwear on, and their wig has been snatched, and they go on fighting as if they are fully clothed.
		Nothing's wrong.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yep.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		How that type of commitment is what we need.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That is just a lack of care that I aspire to.
		I think I cannot dangle like that.
		I mean, it's not men.
		It's never men.
		It's always, those are women.
		Any man ends up naked.
		He's going to leave.
unidentified		I don't know.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		If I'm in a fight and the fight's gotten to the point where my pants got ripped off, I don't think I'm done fighting.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, you just say, all right, you won.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's where we're different.
		I say, yeah, I can see it.
		I'm standing here, pantsless.
		You're the winner.
		You can be next in line.
		Because keep in mind, what you're arguing about is something that happened at a Burger King.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It was never supposed to come to this.
		I don't know what happened.
		One thing went to another.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Here we are.
		I'll go.
		Yeah, it's wild.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I guess it just winds up looking like the first fight that Adam and Eve had before the Apple.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Wow.
		That was an argument leading up to the Apple.
		I thought it was just more of a seduction.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It was an argument.
		She's like, eat this.
		He's like, no.
		She's like, eat it.
		I made it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I made it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I made it for you.
unidentified		You don't like my apples now?
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		What do you think happened?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, how does that story play out if they just actually never ate the apple?
		Because here's the thing that bothers me about it, right?
		Apparently, they couldn't sin before the apple.
		Then after the apple, it's the original sin.
		Now we're all sinful.
		Like, you couldn't sin before, then, like, how did you do the first one?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		With the tree of knowledge by eating, by disobeying God.
		He said, there's one thing, just one.
		You can do anything you want.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		One son.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Only knew how to do one sin.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You take Eve, and you don't even have to take her in private.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You stick it in her fucking cornhole, do anything you want.
unidentified		You know, you, right?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		She is yours.
		Don't eat an apple.
		All right.
unidentified		Right.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And the guy is like, this is cool.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I can deal with that.
unidentified		Yeah.
		But of course, he's like, what do you mean?
		Can't women, women are so stupid.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I've been taking care of this garden every day for millennia, and I want to eat from the tree of knowledge.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Stat, I don't see any reason.
		Who is he?
		I talked to this snake, okay.
		Very interesting ideas.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He said you've been growing a lot.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I just want to make sure you know how to eat other apples.
unidentified		Yeah, like, all right, baby.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Chomp.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, shit, my dick's out.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And why is it a snake?
		Like in the story?
		Do you think it's just because they're like a fucking slithering, like belly, like close to the dirt as possible?
		Is that the metaphor?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But they weren't at the time.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		They had legs.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		What do you mean at the time?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, at the time.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That was he was cursed.
		The snake was cursed to crawl on its belly after that.
		So prior to that, it had some other, maybe it had wheels.
		I don't know.
		It didn't.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So it was an alligator and then it became a snake.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		Maybe a monitor.
		Or, yeah, maybe a chameleon.
		I don't know.
		Any kind of a small lizard, a gecko, but it was, it was not a snake.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's interesting.
		I never thought of it like that.
		You're right.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And you got to crawl on your belly forever and you'll know when your dick's out.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And the snake was like, you dumbass, I was already doing that.
unidentified		Basically, any dude, my legs are pretty short.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		This is better.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That was the whole reason to do it, just so he could crawl on it, get rid of his fucking limbs.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Tricked you.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And then, and then that's why women have to have the pain of childbirth and having a period and everything because of that, too.
		Because he fucked them up.
		Whenever they're fucking feeling annoyed, they have to have a period.
		They should remember it's really their nature.
		Yeah, it's their fault.
		It's their nature.
		Even if they didn't have periods, they would make that same decision.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You know, and I don't think that God's punishment for men, you know, having to work by the sweat of your brow, is actually what the punishment was.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think the punishment may have been like when you're working by the sweat of your brow, your wife coming in and saying, You don't spend enough time with me.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's tolerating women.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, yeah, it's just having to deal with that.
		Because I love to work.
		I love to work, man.
		But I hate being nagged.
		He even says in the Bible in Proverbs, I think it says better to live on the corner of the roof than in the house with the nagging woman.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Does it say that in Proverbs?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, it's Proverbs or Psalms.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I can't remember which one.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's one of those.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, somebody sang it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So it's a tune.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And, you know, I'm not anti-women by any means.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think it's better to live on the corner of the roof than in the house with anybody who fucking nags.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But no, no, I mean, like, I'm anti-woman.
		I'll go ahead and say it.
		I mean, like, because I'm, I'm, I'm by nature, men are anti-women.
		You know, I mean, like, if you, if you're a man, you have some sense of logic, of reason, a desire for peace, a desire for things to just be chill.
		Good is good.
		Let's just keep it that way.
		Women are chaos storms fucking things up, taking something that's good.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You know, because they're women, or do you think it's have to do?
		It has to do with how the way our culture raises them.
		I'm not sure that.
		No, no, no, I'm not trying to like have some fucking leftist like argument with the screen.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, no, no, no, no.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You know, I didn't mean, I didn't mean to sound like that.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But like, but like, but like Viking women, I bet were pretty badass.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know, I bet you they were cunts.
unidentified		Yeah, they're probably like nightmares.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Nightmares.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Think of the Viking.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Fitting your fucking shield.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Going your own damn shield.
		Yeah, I'm out here.
		Yeah, they were bad.
		None of them have been good.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I mean, Embassy was great, Cleopatra.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Margaret Thatcher, she hell of a woman.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, look, I'm not saying women are, there's nothing good about them, but I'm just against them, you know.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I mean, just like they would be against me.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You know, if I told you you had a nice body, would you hold against me?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I was trying to look for a punchline there, too.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You ever heard that?
unidentified		Yeah, you ever heard that joke before?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yes.
		I mentioned a joke the other day to a couple of young women, younger women, you know, like if I say younger, to me, it's like 20s.
		A total girl was 24 and the other was like, I don't know, 29 or something, 30.
		And the old limerick, there once was a man from Nantucket.
		They didn't know any more of that limerick than they didn't even know what the fuck I was talking about.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		They never talking about.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You've never heard that.
		That is gone.
		Dirty limericks are a thing of the past.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Have there once was a man from Nantucket?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I have no fucking clue what that is.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, you know, just Google those words and it'll give you the whole poem, I'm sure.
		Unless Google is so fucking commie now that it doesn't even sound vaguely familiar.
		Yeah, I mean, a man from Nantucket.
		I would tell you, you want to hear the rest of the limerick?
		It's just volume.
unidentified		I got it pulled up, but I don't know if I can say it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Does it have any slurs?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, it doesn't slurs.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Okay.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I just don't want to get kicked off at you.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Why don't you say it?
		Go ahead.
		You're reading it for the first time.
		See if you find it amusing.
		Personally, I don't.
		I don't think so.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So there once was a man from Nantucket who kept all his cash in a bucket, but his daughter named Nan ran away with a man.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's not the fucking poem.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Where are you reading that?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Fucking Wikipedia, bro.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That sounds to me like some kind of commie horse shit.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That sounds like that's the 1902 Princeton Tiger written by Professor Dayton Voorhees.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So it probably is commie shit.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, you're right.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So there's like, so I can, I think they started to, I think people started to bastardize the original, and that was why it was funny.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But that's the original.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think that's the original, and then people bastardized it because he kept all his cash in a bucket.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And then what happened?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But his daughter named Nan ran away with a man.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Nan.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I don't even get it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		She took the bucket.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Oh, yeah, Nantucket.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, that's right.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Boy, that is like that's the kind of rhyme.
		Like from Bob Dylan had a song.
		I'm not, I'm not really into old Bob Dylan.
		I only like three albums that are like from in the 90s and early 2000s.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I like just the song most of the time.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's pretty much the only Bob Dylan song.
unidentified		Mostly attack.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He has high fidelity or something.
unidentified		Yeah.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He's got a song where he says, you know, I'm going to recruit an army, some tough sons of bitches.
		I'll recruit my army from the orphanages.
		I thought that was a great rhyme.
		But Nantucket, boy, that is that's right up there.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So here's one.
		There, there was a young man from Nantucket whose dick was so long he could suck it.
		He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, if my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, there you go.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's it.
		That's that's the one.
		That's the one.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That is hysterical.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's pretty funny.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		What's that fucking weasel from Star Wars?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Remember like fucking Java the Hutt's?
unidentified		You know what I'm talking about?
unidentified		No.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, Java the Hut.
		He's got like a little pet up to him, you know, and like there's a scene where like Java the Hut's like fucking grabbing ass or something and the weasel just goes, it might have been like one of the Lucas films like redos of his old movies because he kept fucking fucking them up and oh yeah.
		I think he added I don't know if he added that find it for it.
		I'll send you the like.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I love it.
		You know, I love dumb shit in those Star Wars movies because it's just it's such a blind spot.
		There's so much money being spent, you know, and then they, how can you have such a huge blind spot?
		You think we want to look at this little kid race his pod or whatever the fuck it was.
		That movie was not even the worst of those second three, I don't think.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I never like had the only thing that got better was this was the lightsaber choreography.
		Those got better every movie, even through Disney.
		But but everything else got worse.
		And it's so frustrating because it's like, imagine Picasso coming out with his fucking famous blue period, you know, paintings.
		And then like he decides he starts, you know, he wants to fucking paint like Hunter Biden.
		It's like, what the fuck happened, man?
		Like, you had it.
		You had it.
unidentified		Where'd it go?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, right.
unidentified		Yeah.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I see what you mean.
		Yeah.
		Just like, wow, you really lost the knack here, didn't you?
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, how could you come to the conclusion?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, how could you be so correct and amazing and then just proceed like to fuck it up from there?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Like, like the difference in the hustler and the color of money or whatever.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, exactly.
		Exactly.
		I actually do know that fucking cultural reference despite being on the line.
		I fucking love the hustler.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Black and white Paul Newman.
		Yeah.
		The color of money.
		He's the mentor and it's Tom Cruise and it was cute, but it wasn't the hustler.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And it's an Oscar winning performance.
		I think they gave him like a retro sort of Oscar for that, you know, because he deserves something.
		But I mean, like, Tom Cruise kind of like made that movie kind of something else.
		But what's his name?
		Scorsese, right?
		You like Taxi Driver?
		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I do like Taxi Driver.
unidentified		I do.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I don't know what you think about it, but I'll tell you the truth.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Right now, I fucking love Taxi Driver.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think you know what I think about it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I love that movie.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Okay.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I love every part of it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Are you talking to me?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
unidentified		Talking to me.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I don't see anybody else here.
		Anybody else standing here?
		And when he's buying all those guns and the gun salesman, like, that's a beautiful gun.
		That's a beautiful guy.
		Nah, that's a lovely gun.
unidentified		At this little cutie, you know, he's talking to go through all these guns and shit.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's the cast of characters is so like uh wildly kind of all over the place, but at the same time, there's only a few, you know.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		The other cabbies, I guess, you know, Sybil Shepard, uh, Albert Brooks, who is fucking who is the girl?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		What's her name?
		Not Winona Ryder, but um, she's Silence of the Lambs, yeah, yeah, Jodi Foster, Jody Foster.
		Thank you.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		My girlfriend looks just like the young prostitute, Jodi Foster.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Really?
		That's nice.
		So she looks basically like a 12-year-old girl.
unidentified		Yes, because she's 12.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		She needs a couple more summers.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		She thinks we're related.
		She thinks I'm looking after her.
		She's not that smart.
		No, she's she's older.
		She's 37, but you know, older than 12.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But considering she's closer to being 12 than Joe Biden's age, but she does look like that.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, she does look like that.
		Yeah, and Joe Biden has more of a fucking 12-year-old mentality right now.
		You know, watching him talk has become like a national pastime, isn't it?
unidentified		Because people still call it gaffes, but it's like gaffes?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, that's that's this is typical of a man with dementia.
		He's, you know, he's completely deranged.
		And, you know, I like to say, I don't know if I'm watching the White House or The Naked Gun sometimes, you know?
		I mean, like, it's just so silly.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		Yep.
		And people are like, oh, it's just fucking Republicans being, you know, dicks.
		But the truth of the matter is, I don't know a single Republican that wouldn't be begging for Barack Obama to be president over Joe Biden right now.
		Well, we basically, you think that he listens to that.
		Why would anybody listen to him, though?
		He's got no power.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He has ultimate power.
		He's he's the ultimate elite.
		He is untouchable.
		He's unassailable.
		Nobody can ever have a problem with anything he does.
		He's the most popular U.S. president.
		Take a poll and see.
		That will never end.
		He has the gold card forever, you know.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And I think that he definitely intelligence community.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think the fucking FBI and CIA run the show.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, sure.
		They do.
		Yeah.
		But he's.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Maybe Obama works for them.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		They have to fucking respect him.
		You know what I mean?
		Because he can get a lot of their shit done.
		I mean, he's proved that.
		I mean, he just like fucking goes, okay, well, here's what we're going to do.
		I don't want to feel like passing a law going through Congress and shit.
		You know, Republicans are trying to win all these congressional races and stuff and the Tea Party and all that stuff.
		And he just goes, how about some guidance?
		We'll just do some guidance.
		All right.
		In schools now, you can go to any bathroom you want.
		And if you don't, we'll just take away your federal funding.
		Same with rape in colleges.
		If you don't convict some boys of rape, then we'll take away your federal funding.
		Guidance.
		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That Title IX shit was fucked up.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, totally.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You would have been in school around that time.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I was in school around that time and I had to deal with that shit.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		To be honest, I had personal experience of being falsely accused of sexual assault.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You're joking.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Really?
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I don't really want to share details, you know, because it's not like because you're because you're a rapist.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I get it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But I mean, exactly.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But what happened was there was an accusation made by a girl who I dated on and off for about a year and a half, and it was bullshit.
		And the university recognized that it was bullshit, but it was an ordeal.
		So I'm just lucky.
		I'm lucky.
		I mean, awesome.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You mean you must have gone to like Oral Roberts University or something.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I went to Belmont University in Nashville and I was student body president.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I knew the administration and I think they just knew that it was bullshit.
unidentified		Wow.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I don't know.
		I mean, it was it, yeah.
		So like, uh, it's a big deal.
		I was lucky because I was lucky because the claim was made like a month after I graduated.
		So I wasn't even a student at the time, but I think if I had been a student at the time, it would have been a nightmare.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		They could have expelled you.
		They could have suspended you.
		They could have stopped you from graduating.
		They could have done that.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But they told me they're like, they wrote me a letter and they're like, hey, we don't think you did anything wrong.
		We're not going to, you're in good standing.
		No problem.
		Just, you know, wanted to let we had to let you know that this happened.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Thank God.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I talked to a lawyer and my lawyer was like, listen, you're just, you're a ghost.
		Just don't fucking show.
		Don't show up for a while.
		I was like, no problem.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, okay.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I mean, didn't go back to my school for any events.
		Didn't talk to anybody related to that person.
		And that was it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Low profile, huh?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I mean, how severe was the accusation?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Was it like the severest form?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Oh, my God.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Wow.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That would be anal rape.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Jump out of the bushes, violence, a weapon.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But no, she said, well, the funny thing about it is I got a fucking genetic bleeding disorder or hemophilia.
		It's the most severe bleeding disorder you have.
		I'm not forcing anybody physically to do anything.
		There's no fucking way.
		Right.
		If I got in a fist fight with you and you hit me in the stomach, a normal guy would buckle over and maybe puke.
		I would die.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's where you're wrong.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		If I punch any man in the stomach, they will die.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, okay.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Fair enough.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I'm that kind of dude.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		The point of the matter is I'm not even physically capable of doing something like that.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Wow.
		Yeah, you can't.
		You're physically incapable of raping a woman.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Without severe injury.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, for sure.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, yeah.
		I mean, I don't think I could get my dick hard, though, is what it is.
		I mean, I don't think I would be aroused by that much rejection.
		The power aspect of it doesn't appeal to me.
		I mean, power to me has to be consensually given.
		Otherwise, you're just who gives a shit.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, it's only hot if you actually close the deal.
		You know, that's what's sexy about getting laid is going out and closing the deal.
		It's like an ego thing.
		Like, hey, she wants to because I'm so fucking awesome.
		You know, that's the sexy part of it.
		But it just forces somebody to do it.
		It's like cheating.
		Like, do you actually feel good about fucking cheating in a game of Monopoly?
		Like, ha ha ha, I won because I was not actually paying the bank.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Exactly.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I was stealing properties.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I had counterfeit in my pocket.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Monopoly is a game that is so over, right?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I mean, like...
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Overrated?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Over.
		It's just over.
		It's like now they've tried to evolve it into different, you know, like you'd have, you know...
unidentified		Simpsons Monopoly.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know, the Ria...
		What's the name of this show?
		One American Monopoly or something, you know, or Simpsons Monopoly or New York City Crime Report.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Where it's all my fucking podcast guest face on the fucking squares.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm going to buy some Pat Dixon for $50.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I think you put me about, like, around those orange properties, maybe.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm feeling, like, a light blue.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Whoa!
unidentified		Wow.
unidentified		Connecticut Avenue.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I'm going to be a railroad, bro.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		There you go.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Then you're all over the board.
		Yeah.
		And, yeah, you can't improve on it, though.
		That's a problem.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I know.
		I know.
		But it's nice to have some real estate in diverse markets.
unidentified		It is.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		We'll be right back.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So where can people find you, man?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		At crimereport.nyc.
		That's a good place to go.
		So crimereport.nyc is kind of, you know, whatever.
		I want to tell you about some of the other stuff I do.
		You can find me at Compound Media.
		Subscribe on Compound Media.
		And that would be great.
		There's all kinds of different plans.
		I do a live show there.
		On Thursdays, I'm also doing a lot of live stuff.
		You don't see.
		I mean, this is live.
		That's great.
		I love live stuff.
		Anything can happen and shit.
		So there's a lot of that stuff on there.
		And it really does look, you know, it has a, you just have to just watch some clips.
		Compound Media.
		Great quality.
		I do a show called Too Woke to Fuck.
		That's like a sort of a liberal parody show.
		You know, we take woke ideas and just follow them to their logical conclusion.
		You know, myself and another guy, we kind of do characters, I guess, who believe all this shit.
		But, you know, but they're the super liberal guys in their 40s who are like, you know, trying to make it all work in their minds and stuff, you know.
		And so it's too woke to fuck.
		It's very funny.
		I mean, it's heavily edited and it's not for everybody because it's.
		little unusual sounding there's a musical element to it uh but it's uh the the number two the word woke the number two again and then f period so you know too woke to f because you can't just go ahead and say fuck on iTunes but New York City Crime Report is kind of like the thing I've been doing the longest.
		And, you know, I just did some stand-up in your town, Austin, there.
		And man, what a great town.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Hit me up next time you're in town.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'll come to your show for sure.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, we did it at the Gas Something, gas company, something gas company.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I've only been here for a year or something downtown.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Very familiar with all of that.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, it was called Vulcan Gas Company.
		Great place, great venue.
		I mean, like, it was, it was really cool.
		You know, like a great balcony and shit.
		We packed out a bunch of shows.
		People really do like to come and see a stand-up.
		A bunch of stand-ups are on the network.
		You know, Gino Biscani is one of them and Aaron Berg and Chrissy Mayer, who is, she's got a show called The West Spot, you know, so there's something for the ladies.
		Taleb Starks, his show I'm on every week as well.
		The West Spot.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		She's a doll.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, she's a peach.
		And I shouldn't say doll.
		I don't mean to diminish her.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But I think that it's got a certain American charm.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		American, you know, did we talk enough about America?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's what I'm concerned about.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm really concerned about it.
		We don't have a limited amount of time.
		We can talk as long as you want.
		I just wanted to be, I didn't want to take up your whole night, but I'm here for you.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, clearly, I got a lot of America standing here against the mirror.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Let's talk about America, bro.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		In a changing room somewhere.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, you know, America is the greatest country ever.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So it's, it's, it's the certainly has been at one point in time.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		And yeah, the greatest, it's very ambitious in its concept and stuff.
		I think the founding fathers might be surprised it's even still going at all.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I think I'm going to tweet right now that America was the greatest country of all time.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It once was.
		Yeah, it was.
		It was the greatest.
		And then for me, it ended.
		I mean, I know it ended for a lot of people at different times.
		You know, there's probably people who, like, when Kennedy got shot, maybe that's where they date it from, you know.
		But I would go with, you know, 9-11.
		We thought it was going to bring everybody together.
		And then George Bush goes, by the way, don't go.
		Don't go beating up Muslims.
		He said that really quick, though.
		Don't go beating up.
		Everybody's going to want to go commit hate crimes against Muslims.
		No, we're not.
		Why are you saying that?
		You know, you're saying it because it gives the liberals a talking point and then they can start nagging again.
		And it starts all this back and forth again.
		You know, I mean, it's just like, that's a very controversial thing to say when you think about it.
		At a time when everybody's feeling peak patriotism to say, no, no, no, don't go out there.
		And there's no reason why a Muslim woman should have to stop it.
		Just stop saying that.
		And that kicked it all off again and put us right back in the same boat.
		And then we have identity politics became the dominant narrative because we can't say shit about that.
		We can't say like, yeah, because every time 9-11 came up after that, some liberal person would go like, but it's important not to take it out on the Muslims.
unidentified		They would scold you, you know, and it pissed us off.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		We still couldn't say anything about it, really, you know, because that makes you an Islamophobe or something.
		And so that's when they started really beating us with this idea that like identity politics over everything.
		And that, you know, got kicked into high gear, but like over a period of time, Trump comes along, exposes the media.
		And once they're exposed, you know, they're like the naked person in the, in the, in, in the Burger King who wants to fight harder than ever.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I got to ask you about this because I struggle with the whole Islamophobia like criticism.
		Okay.
		So, so I am not a racist person.
		In fact, I would go so far as to say that I don't necessarily believe that race even really exists.
		Okay.
		So I don't know if we agree or disagree there.
unidentified		I don't care.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's not my point.
		My point is, like, someone calls me an Islamophobic, right?
		Someone, you're an Islamophobic.
		And I, I, and I say, okay, so do you believe in the Muslim faith?
		They say, well, I'm not a Muslim.
		Like, so, so you think everything they believe is bullshit?
		Like, otherwise, if you didn't, you would become a Muslim, right?
		They're like, well, yeah, yeah.
		So it's like, how the fuck is that not Islamophobic?
		Like, like, if you're not a Muslim, it's because you don't believe any of their shit.
unidentified		Like, if you believed it, you'd be a fucking Muslim, right?
		Yeah.
		It's that simple.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, I'm not a fucking Lutheran because I don't believe that bullshit.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, am I a Lutheranophobic?
unidentified		Like, I don't know.
unidentified		It's fucking ridiculous.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		Yeah.
		If you don't believe their shit, you're afraid of them.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I'm not necessarily even hoping.
		Just a phobic.
		Like, I'm just not part of it because I go away.
		I go a different direction.
		Like, if you see something's hydrophobic, it means water doesn't stick to it, right?
		So yeah, I'm Islamophobic.
		Like, yeah, I'm not anti-Islam.
		I'm just Islamophobic.
		Like, I'm going somewhere else.
		I'm not a fucking Muslim.
		Sorry.
unidentified		Okay.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So, yeah, your interpretation of phobic is not like it's like you said, you know, hydrophobic.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, like if I'm homophobic, if I'm homophobic, I'm not like, I'm not like, yeah, I'm not like bigoted.
		Like, I don't have a problem with gay people.
		I think they should have the same rights.
		Whatever.
		I got gay friends.
		I've even fucking fought for gay rights before.
		There's a whole story about that.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You've even talked a couple of dicks.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I mean, yeah, just, you know, you got to try it, you know, before you knock it.
		But I am homophobic in the sense that like I am certainly avoiding homosexual activity.
		You know, you don't want to be around it at all.
		I don't want to do it.
		I don't want to participate.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I won't even watch the Al Pacino movie Cruising.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Won't even watch it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Sense of a woman.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's all for me.
unidentified		Sent up a woman.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Smell pussy in here.
unidentified		Yes.
unidentified		But it's not a rat.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Remember that?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, I don't.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But great movie.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But what?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Scarface?
unidentified		No, no, no.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Sense of a woman.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Sent of a woman is a great movie.
		I saw it once and forgot all about it.
		I mean, the impression is all I remember from that.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I mean, it's a little bit sentimental, you know, but I really like the court scene in the end when he shows up to fucking back this kid.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He was about ready to he was getting thrown under the bus by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You can't handle the truth.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It's kind of like that.
		Yeah.
		But he's like, yeah, he's like, he's not a Baylor man or whatever.
		And he's like, but he's not a rat.
		That's the basic movie.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		What would you say your top five movies are?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Cool Hand Luke number one.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Great choice.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		After Cool Hand Luke, I don't fucking know.
		Man.
		That's the one.
		I mean, I like all the Tarantino movies, man.
		I'm a fucking regular plebe and that shit.
unidentified		I love them.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You think he's gotten better?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I do.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think his last movie is.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think the tech has certainly gotten better too.
		You know what I mean?
		Like, how can you really compare a movie like Pulp Fiction to the most recent movie?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Reservoir Dogs or Reservoir Dogs to Hollywood.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So the high-budget stuff.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So I think he always, I think he's probably gotten better, but he was always so good that it's almost hard to see the improvement.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know what, though?
		I have to say, watching pulp fiction now is a little bit like running your tongue over a sore tooth or something, you know, because it's just like, you can't stop with that, those dumb dialogue in pulp fiction, man.
		And some of the corny ass, you know, like when she makes the little square.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I love the way it's cut up.
		I love the way it's edited.
		It's really great.
		You know, obviously, fine classic movie.
		Does not age well when they're talking about like, I don't know, like cube dice versus crushed ice, you know?
		Oh, fuck.
		Cubes.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		Cubes are much as I the foot massage argument is the famous one, right?
		Like talking about whether or not a foot massage was enough to justify throwing the guy out the window.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
unidentified		I still think it's entertaining, man.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Fuck you.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He had a pretty good point.
unidentified		But then there's the fact that, you know, the, what do you call it?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Royale with cheese and all that shit.
		$5 milkshake.
		I got to see what a $5 milkshake tastes like.
		I got a theory about John Travolta, and not everybody goes along with this, but he's been in Hollywood and acting a long time.
		And I think that he believes he's in every movie that he's in.
		Like whatever movie he's in, he thinks that's happening.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Because he's such a serious method actor?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, because he's just a fucking, he's crazy.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think that he's crazy.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Phenomena sucked.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And he believes that he is Michael the Angel or whatever the, you know what I mean?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Like, yeah, Battlestar Galactica or whatever the fuck that was.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Hey, I'm a big Battlestar Galactica fan.
		Don't fuck with Battlestar, man.
		No, no, no.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I didn't mean that.
		Like, whatever that was, you know, it wasn't called Battlestar Galactica.
		What was the movie that he was in that was so bad that was the Scientology movie?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I didn't know that he was in a Scientology movie.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, he was in Swordfish, which was one of the stories that L. Ron Hubbard wrote, I think.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It was Phenomena.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Phenomena was a science fiction one where he was a little bit more.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Battlefield Earth.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think it was super.
		Oh, that sounds familiar.
		I don't know.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think it was Battlefield Earth.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think that was the one.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So he got one of L. Ron Hubbard's books made into a movie.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think.
		I think it was some kind of Scientology theme or something.
		I would say Jaws is my favorite movie.
		I think Jaws, it is just lean.
		There's no fat on it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Did you see the HBO Steven Spielberg doc?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It's really good.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I didn't see it.
unidentified		Man, if you have HBO, you should watch it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I got HBO Max.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, yeah, that works.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That works.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So there's a whole Steven Spielberg documentary where they're actually interviewing Steven Spielberg talking about his whole career from beginning to end.
		And he goes through like every movie and what it was like to make and all this shit.
		You'd love it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He was sort of like that 70s kind of, yeah, he invented the blockbuster, basically.
		And, you know, George Lucas is a little bit more, I don't know, like, like, you know, they, you know, that this like era of movie making was the era of the director.
		It was only for a few years, you know, like there's a movie called Raging Bulls and Easy Riders or something.
		And it's all these guys.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, fucking Sam Peck and Paw.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, those dudes are in the dock.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		Some of those guys are really interesting.
		And then some of them are just pretentious dickheads.
		You know, I mean, we see things like, man, I could make a fucking movie.
unidentified		What the hell?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know, we should make a fucking movie, Chase.
		We should make a movie.
		Which, by the way, Chase Geyser, thank you.
		Sounds very much like the name of a guy who should be in broadcasting, which you are.
		But it sounds like a guy who's like the local news with Chase Geyser, you know?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
unidentified		This is Chase Geyser on otherwise known as NPR.
		Yeah.
		I'm Anita Bug, and I'm not even that hungry.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's a reference I don't get.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Anita Bug was this NPR host when I lived in Nashville and every day.
		She's like, I'm Anita Bug.
		And I was like, why are you going to eat a bug?
		Like, what the fuck?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Are you going to eat a bug?
unidentified		Yeah, I'm Anita Bug.
unidentified		I'm going to eat a bug.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's great.
		I'm going to eat a bug.
		And I'm not even that hungry.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Her name was Anita Buck.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Bug, like B-U-G-G, I think.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Her name was Bug.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Anita Buck.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And she's like, I'm an e-bug.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's really great.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I swear she's real.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm an eatabug, and I'm not even hungry.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, I mean, I can't.
		You lived in Nashville.
		Did you grow up in Tennessee?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		No, I grew up in the middle of nowhere, Illinois, and I went to Tennessee for college.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You go to false rape accusations.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Vanderbilt?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, no, you told me the college you went to.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Small Christian school down the road from Vandy.
unidentified		Okay.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I went to MTSU.
unidentified		Oh, cool.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Murphy's bro.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I grew up in Tennessee over near Chattanooga, Cleveland, Tennessee.
		I don't really go around telling people my hometown all the fucking time.
		But I'm telling you.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm down on the South, but I'm telling you, man, every dumb person I met in the South is smarter than every smart person I met in the North.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		I agree with that to a degree.
		To an extent.
		I know growing up in my town, there was a certain attitude that they had where they were sort of like, they loved to have any situation where they could feign confusion with you.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's what's so brilliant.
unidentified		What?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You need a who?
unidentified		You need a what?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Do what now?
		Do what now?
		That was a big Tennessee one.
		Do what?
		Do what now?
		They didn't hear you.
		You didn't even ask me to do something.
		Like, you said, hey, like, do you know where the wrench is?
		And I say, do what now?
unidentified		Yeah.
unidentified		Do what?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		No, don't do anything.
		Don't do anything.
		Just tell them where the wrench is.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I'm not telling you to do anything.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's kind of annoying.
unidentified		Do what?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Do what?
unidentified		No.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And they're always fixing everything.
		People come from the north, they find that funny.
		Oh, yeah.
		Fixing.
		What are you fixing?
		Stop fucking with it.
		You're going to break it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, and they use the term fixing too.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like, I'm fixing to go to the mall.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But they love fixing so much.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		They just say fixing.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I'm fixing to go to the mall.
		I'm fixing to make dinner.
		I'm fixing to lose my mind.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And reckon.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I reckon.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I reckon that's probably right.
		They do a lot of wrecking.
		It's stupid, but it's fucking charming.
		And y'all should actually be a contraction.
		It is way more efficient than you guys.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, it is.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's one step.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But it does make you sound like a dumbass.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, you all is a very natural contraction to make.
		I don't understand why that's a thing.
		You know, y'all.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I like it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Did you watch Lost, the TV show?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, but I had a con girlfriend who did.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		One of the things I hated about her.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And guess who's coming on the show?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Welcome, Miss Show.
unidentified		Wow.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I married two women named Michelle.
unidentified		You pegged it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		My first two were named Michelle.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's generational, bro.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And the third one was the third one was named Mandy.
		And yeah, it is generational because I was looking.
		I happen to be.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm not getting married if you hate women so much, dude.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		What else am I supposed to do?
unidentified		I'm trying to narrow it down to one I can deal with.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But why don't you just date somebody for a long time then instead of marrying them?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, I did.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Did you fall in love?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You fucking fall in love and then you just think I'm not.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, I'm a very romantic guy.
		I think that you don't love a woman unless you also fucking hate her.
		I mean, I just don't think that one of those emotions can exist without the other.
		I think that if you, I think you've never loved a woman if you haven't hated her fucking guts and wished she was dead even.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Man, maybe that might be the most super important thing.
		I'm not saying this because my wife does not watch this show.
		I'm not saying this just to make my wife happy, but I do not hate my wife.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Have you ever hated her, though?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Oh, yeah, for moments of rage.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, for sure, for moments, but I've never gone through an extended period where I felt hatred for her.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, I mean, hatred, I guess, is if you're going to define it super literally, you know, then maybe not.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm just making sure I understand.
		I'm sorry.
		I'm not trying to like fucking.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, no, no.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I see those moments of rage as like moments of clarity, you know, where you're like, you really discern the fact that you hate this fucking individual.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I remember one time in particular, I could tell you.
		I set my alarm for like 4:30 in the morning one time because I had so much fucking work to do the next day.
		I owned a small advertising business and I had like way too many clients and it was just insane for a while.
		And I remember the alarm went off at 4.30 in the morning and she like snapped that the alarm went off that early.
		And I just went into a rage.
		Like, do you think I want to get up at 4.30 in the morning to like make money so we can fucking buy a house and live in California where we were living at the time?
		Like, do you think I want to pay the taxes?
		Like, it was a bad argument, but that was probably the worst argument we ever had.
		But that was like, that's a specific example of the rage.
		Like, I love her and I loved her, but I never felt more hate in my life than like those, you know, 15 minutes of just like, like, you're yelling at me for waking up to fucking pay for like everything you want.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Look around you.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You see nothing but evidence of my love for you.
unidentified		Right.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Right.
		Do you think I want to wake up at 4:30?
		I'm doing this for me because I'm selfish.
		Like, are you serious?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		What a dick I am.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know what?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Snooze.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Snooze, yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		I had a similar time.
		Yeah, one time I locked my wife out because I was drunk and I passed out and she had to get a guy to like the property manager to come over with a screwdriver and undo it.
		And then she had the nerve to come wake me up.
unidentified		And I'm like, what the fuck?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You think I want to wake up right now?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Same shit.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		We're practically the same guy.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		It's just pretty.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You're what I might have been if I had to quit drinking earlier rather than when I was 30.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, maybe I made the wrong decision then because, God, do I want to be you?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, sure.
		Who wouldn't?
		Who wouldn't want all of this?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, where are you right now, man?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Are you at your house?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, I'm at home.
		This is where I live.
		This is all of it.
		This is all of it.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's awesome, bro.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You got the fucking cool backdrop with the glass and everything.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, and then I've got this, like, I got a green screen.
		Yeah.
		It doesn't get used quite enough.
		But, hey, look, you know, I love where I live, and it only costs me $2,500 a minute to live here in Manhattan.
		So that's good.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You actually do love living in New York.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I mean, I love, I used to, and now I'm kind of up in the air about it.
		You know, I mean, I like the people that I know here.
		I used to love working all the clubs.
		It was great.
		Post-COVID, it's kind of like a new card is coming up.
		I don't know.
		It's like Texas, man.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'll cook you up on Austin.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Thinking about it, I used to, I've worked Cap City was actually the last club I drank in back in 99.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		We should go back there.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		See what's up.
		I've got a picture of myself and Greg Giraldo.
		It's in it's the last week I drank and I look like I ate Greg Giraldo.
		I swear to God.
		I'm so fucking puffy and worn out.
		Oh, yeah.
		It was like, I was like a very, I mean, not that I'm like in peak condition now with my tits and everything here, but I look terrible.
		And I look very unhappy.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's kind of shit you can fucking buy in fucking Texas.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Look at that.
		That's a beauty.
		See, that's a beauty.
		You can go out and hammer nails all day with that.
		Bring it back and it'll cut straight down.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I got the dust cover with the fucking, that's a UROS flag.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'm ready for action.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's beautiful, dude.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Just fire off a couple of rounds, can you?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		No, I can't because I don't live on 10 acres, but if I lived on 10 acres, I could legally fire off my gun.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's what you need, 10 acres.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, 10 acres.
		And, you know, anywhere but Austin, you can afford to get 10 acres in Texas.
		So if you buy land with at least 10 acres, you can go in your backyard and shoot your AR-15.
		No problem.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So how is it guys like us wind up in these fucking metropolises?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I'll tell you exactly why because I told my wife I wanted to move to Texas and she said she was only leaving California if she lived in a major city.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And I said, fine, I'll move to fucking Austin, Texas.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Why not?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I mean, I guess Dallas would be the same deal, huh?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, Dallas is harder than Boston in terms of like, you know, not having to deal with like social justice bullshit, but it's way better to live in a red in a blue city in a red state than a red city, a red area of a blue state.
		You know, so like every time the mayor does something fucked up in my city, the governor corrects it.
		So it's like that'd be nice.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I live in a, I live in the bluest part of one of the bluest states.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		But New York's special because you're a comedian and there's some fucking smart people there.
		And I'm telling you something, the Democrats in New York are not pussies.
		Anybody who lives in New York, you cannot live there and be a pussy.
		You just can't fucking make it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Dude, they're totally pussies.
		They're the worst.
		They're the worst.
		They walk around with masks outdoors and they jog past you.
		I had a lady jog past me during lockdown.
		Nobody's around.
		I'm smoking a cigarette on the corner.
		This young woman jogs past with a mask on.
		What do you mean?
		The mask isn't even keeping out the cigarette smoke?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		How do you think it's keeping out fucking COVID?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Well, yeah.
		What do you think the air is like in New York City to begin with?
		There's metal shavings in it.
		People get lung cancer here earlier than they do other places.
		You're a fucking moron.
		Why are you outdoors?
		They're out with masks on.
		They are the biggest social justice idiots.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, that's true.
		That's true.
		But here's the thing, though, man.
		Per capita, I'm not sure.
		Because if you live anywhere with millions and millions of people, you're going to see a lot of dumbasses.
		But there is some smart person for every dumbass who's able to afford to wear a mask and run in the middle of a weekday.
		There is some smart dude busting ass surviving for that person.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And you know who that is?
		Usually they don't speak English.
		A lot of that.
		I mean, I meet a lot of people that I'm Sepatico with who are from Pakistan or whatever, because they see all this shit going on and they go, oh, yeah, governments lie to people.
		Americans don't seem to know that.
		But, yeah, they're totally lying to you, and this is bullshit, and they're making a shot our business is done.
		It's really – and so you try to – you communicate on that level as best you can.
		But you have to be careful, too, because I had a $5 bill that I found, and it said – I want to make sure I get the phrasing right.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Somebody wrote on it?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, somebody wrote on it, and it said, Alan, please save us, right?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And I was like, that's weird.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Alan Greenspan?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Alan, please save us.
		And so I was showing it to the guy at the fucking convenience store, just a friend of mine who happens to be a Muslim guy.
		I'm like, look at this.
		And then I realized it actually says, Allah, please save us.
		And I'm showing it to him like, oh, look.
		And you got to be careful with shit like that, because I think I actually awakened a sleeper cell.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Next time I saw him, he wouldn't look me in the eye.
unidentified		I mean, he changed things for the worse.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Things started to blow up.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He started taking pilot license?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He said he was getting his pilot license?
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He don't need to land.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He started watching License to Kill?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		All these things, man, happened here, like the Eric Garner thing, the chokehold they talk about.
		That wasn't a fucking chokehold.
		And trying to talk sense to any – it's interesting as a comedian, because I've kind of like stopped trying to be like – obviously, I'm not anything that I'm not.
		So I'm talking to a diverse, young audience in the village, and I'm saying, yeah, I'm like your substitute fucking teacher here or something.
		I'm the oldest, whitest person here.
		But, you know, don't throw anything.
		And you start talking to these people.
		It's like they find shit funny, but they know that they're not supposed to laugh at it.
		It's weird.
		The generation now that will actually resist laughter unless it's just like fucking they just can't help it or it hits critical mass or something.
		I mean, I wonder about this generation.
		But then again, I guess – I think the generation – I'm millennial.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think Gen Z is going to be badass, to be honest with you.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I've seen good times.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I look at my nephews.
		I look at my nephews of 15, 16, 14.
		Like they fucking worked their ass off.
		They bought their own fucking first cars.
		Shit that I didn't even do.
		And I thought that I wasn't really of my generation.
		And I just see a generation that you can't trick them because they know that so much is bullshit.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Like did you know that the Gen Z generation, like an astronomical number of them don't believe, that Helen Keller is real?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		They don't believe she's real.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		They don't believe that she was deaf and blind.
		So you tell them about Helen Keller in school and they just did like a study or something.
		I can't remember where I heard this.
		But an astronomical number of them are just like, yeah, bullshit.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's interesting.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		And I think that's awesome.
		And I believe in Helen Keller.
		Don't get me wrong.
		But they're just like, yeah, fuck you.
unidentified		No way.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I don't buy it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I don't know.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Maybe I don't believe in Helen Keller.
unidentified		You can't trick them.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Think about it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Why would I believe some movie with Melissa Gilbert?
unidentified		Is it more likely that she made it up for a fucking speaking gig at book sales?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		There are a lot of snake oil sales people in the fucking 19th century or whatever.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		She was exploited by communists.
		You know that, right?
		She was a wobbly.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I don't know shit about her.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		All I know is that.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Facts about Helen Keller.
		She was a wobbly.
		They marched her out as like, you know, power to the people communist shit.
		That's true.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		If you're fucking dumb and blind, communism, you know, might be for you.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That seems perfect, doesn't it?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You're like, oh, my God.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I know so little, but I do know the system of government that we should all be living under.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But yeah, I just think it's fascinating that Jet Z, like, apparently they, like, it was like something that happened one year where, I don't know if it was like a viral idea or something, but the teachers were like, none of my fucking students believe in Helen Keller.
		I can't, like, how the fuck can I explain it to them that Helen Keller is real?
		You know, I love that, though.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Maybe she's not, though.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
unidentified		What would you put past anybody at this point?
unidentified		What would you put past anybody?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		The fake insurrection, you know, the Capitol Police.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, so what does that say, though, about what they're going to be like in 15 years when like they start running for office and you know they're voting and they're working like I don't think they're going to be fucking critical race theory leftist pussies.
		It's the millennials that are fucking it up.
		They're the teachers now.
		They're my age.
		They're teaching.
		They're the fuck-ups.
		Gen Z is badass.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know why the millennials are so fucked up?
		It's because of the boomers.
		I'm not a boomer.
		Generation X is a very small generation, right?
		It's very elite, elite fraternity.
		And the boomers had kids and they were like, we are from the 60s.
		Oh my God, we invented America.
		We are the best things ever.
		And these are the best children ever.
		And they don't have to chew their candy.
		I'll chew it for them like a motherbird.
		And they have to wear a helmet when they ride their bike and all this shit.
		And peanut allergies and helicopter moms and all this.
		They ruined it just like that because they bought into all that stuff that's supposed to soften us up.
		And the boomers are the worst generation of people that ever existed.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yep.
		They suck.
		And you know what?
		If you think boomers are old, Joe Biden's not even a fucking boomer.
		He's from the silent generation.
		Did you know that?
		He's too old to be a fucking boomer.
		He's old enough to remember when Hitler died.
		He was born like five years after AC was invented for the car.
unidentified		This fucking guy is so fatal.
unidentified		After.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He was born in 1942, I think.
		And I think AC and Cars was like 39.
		It was invented.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Trump's pretty old too, but you never know.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But there's a big difference between 72 and 76, though.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Apparently, there is.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		My dad's 72.
		I'm sad to say it.
		But if you're 76, man, like the older you get, the more precious every minute is.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Isn't Biden 79?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, he might be now.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think he was 78 when he was elected.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		Feasibility is 79.
		So, okay.
		If he got elected for a second term, he would be 86 at the end of it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He's not going to be elected for a second term.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I don't think that's possible.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I don't even know if he was elected for the first term.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Who fucking knows?
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		No, I know.
		Obviously, he wasn't.
		You've never met a Joe Biden voter.
		Neither have I. They don't exist.
		Nobody votes.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Nobody's ever run for president three times and then won.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I mean, I don't know.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		You know, there's a lot of shit wrong with him, man.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I mean, and then the harder it is to win that fucking race.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		But he won like more votes than anybody, more than Barack Obama, more than anybody in the history of anything.
		Yeah, he's that fucking popular.
		And his poll numbers, what are they, 51%?
		And he's up there saying that, like, he doesn't know how many people there are in the country.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, here's the thing.
		I don't even think that Trump got the number of votes that he got.
		I think they had to do fake votes for Trump in order to make it look like, I think that the whole thing was just inflated.
		Like, I think that they had to fuck with the numbers enough.
unidentified		I don't know.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Maybe that doesn't add up mathematically, but I think his comment was so high just generally.
		I think he beat Biden.
		I think he beat Biden, but I don't think that's a good idea.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I think Trump won 50.
		I think he won 50 states.
		I think he literally won every state, including Delaware.
unidentified		Way.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, man.
		He won 49 states.
		I don't know why.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I think he won the same states he won in 16.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		That's what I think.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		I mean, that's more likely.
		I mean, why wouldn't he never?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I never met anybody who voted for him the first time that's like, not going to, except for Joe Walsh.
		Joe Walsh was on my podcast.
		He voted for him in 2016.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		That's strange.
		That's strange.
		Joe Walsh is an interesting guy, isn't he?
		He's like sort of a never Trumper, but he's like anti-crime.
		I don't understand.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I don't know his deal either, but I don't agree with most of his shit.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		But I also don't think that he's lying because everything he says is like totally not conducive to any sort of political gain.
unidentified		You know what I mean?
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		It's like lose lose shit all the time.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So it's like he must mean it.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He gets a tough position to take and he's taking it.
unidentified		Yeah.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		He's like, fuck Trump and fuck the Democrats.
		It's like, now no one's going to vote for you, dude.
		He's like, I don't care.
		He's the worst fucking person I ever met.
		You Democrats are all fucking communists.
		He's like, all right, all right.
		I don't care if I take away my radio show.
		Fuck you.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		He's the audience for that show.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		So I had him on the podcast for like 30 minutes.
		We talked and it was, you know, it was really, I really enjoyed talking to him.
		I think he's a good guy.
		I don't agree with him, but I think he's a good guy.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
		All right.
		Well, you obviously agree with everything I say.
unidentified		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Well, I told you we're the same guy.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So it's crazy.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		We're the youngest of four, super old fucking siblings.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Super gay.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Super gay.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Love the dick.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		You know.
		It freaking fucking camera freezes all the time.
		It's because it overheats.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		Oh, you have a nice camera, probably.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Yeah, I use the DSLR and I think it overheats after like 30 minutes.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		So I have to so I hope that all your viewers and listeners will check me out.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		I do have to go.
unidentified		Yeah.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		And I want to stay friends with you.
		You're actually like, yeah, we're going to strike.
		Yeah, that's that's uh I say that uh to not everybody actually, but uh, you know, we have a lot in common.
		And uh, it was, I really enjoyed talking to you.
		It was great, great conversation.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		I really enjoy it too, man.
chase geiser ▲ ● ▼		Real pleasure and honor to have you on.
pat dixon ▲ ● ▼		All right.
		Bye.
		All right, dude.

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