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May 24, 2019 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
24:30
British Banter with Milo Yiannopolous
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Time Text
Oh my goodness, look who's arrived!
Thank you very much.
Sorry, I'm always late for everything.
It's nice to see you.
You're looking very well.
Well, yes.
I've just got back from Germany.
I was supposed to be giving a talk to the Bundestag, the German MPC.
Sorry, not Merkel.
Not anymore, alas.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, hello, sir.
Well, sir, I actually gave a very well-received talk to.
Oh, don't go and jump in the river.
Come on, it's not that bad.
You can't stay out and run away.
Well, that's a good point.
That's a good point.
No, I know.
You know what it is?
I didn't think it was a real place.
I thought he was trolling me.
It just doesn't look like the name of a real place, does it?
I didn't think it was going to be as exciting as it was either, to be honest.
It's unbelievably thrilling to see the armies of the Ramonas chanting about something they had no idea about.
Ooh!
Alright, fine, sorry.
Well, just covered my face in water.
I have, what?
You want to wave to me?
Just saying hello.
Yiannopolis is not welcome here, according to our protesters.
It's not the greatest chant for a university town.
It doesn't scan.
Obviously, none of them are in poetry class.
Too many syllables.
No, it is.
It doesn't flow off the tongue.
Tell us what's been happening today.
Well, I've been talking to the Liberal Democrats who are actually willing to.
Did you lose a bet?
No, no, I want to.
You did that by choice.
I want to talk to the Liberal Democrats because they're basically admitting they've been subverted by the socialists.
Oh, I see.
Oh, yes.
They're very much like, oh, but what about the rich?
That's not very liberal, is it?
What's the most difficult question someone's asked you today?
God, none of them have been difficult.
None of them.
Well, it's very disappointing.
Not to put Sargon's words in your mouth, but assuming you also wouldn't have to.
I'll look after that one.
But strongly restricted.
There's a small part of my brain that's just constantly looking for setups, you know.
I'm sorry.
No, filth.
Yeah, there's a small, just constantly ticking over part of my brain that just lives in the gutter.
Yeah, it's just smutty and disreputable.
And then when it bubbles up, I just am powerless to resist.
That's why we all love you, though.
No, no, no, it is.
It is.
It's Tourette's for crap gay jokes.
That's what I've got.
You know, I did actually promise him, so I'm going to suggest that Carl takes over.
I was lovely chatting to you.
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin.
Yes, darling.
Somebody wants me from France.
Oh, yes, of course.
Do you know that your newspaper, Liberation, um, oh, no, wait, are you...
Are you here?
No, no, the French newspaper Liberation today called me the pop star of hate.
Well, I actually...
Have you ever heard anything so cool?
No, I'm getting t-shirts.
It's fabulous.
I'm going to start introducing myself.
Hi, I was described by the French press as the pop star of hate.
I'll turn over to you for a while.
That's alright.
They're going to call you a Nazi, you know?
I'll see you in a second.
Right, and they're...
Have all of our protesters gone?
Oh, don't go.
Oh, come on.
I thought fascists weren't welcome here.
Oh.
Well, I guess I'll just have to interview you good people.
Who'd like to have a conversation with me?
Yeah, I'm afraid of you.
I spoke to you yesterday.
I'm going to be here for the...
Sorry, I'll touch it a bit, don't worry.
Double-sided sticky.
Oh, hang on.
Pumpkin, that hair colour isn't welcome anywhere.
You know, it's bad enough they choose these songs.
Does anyone here know what aposemitism is?
Does anyone know what this is?
So this describes a phenomenon in nature where dangerous animals are brightly coloured.
No, no, no, it's perfectly true.
So frogs, bees, wasps, things that you shouldn't touch, you know.
Come and tell us why.
Come and tell us why.
No, she can't, poor lamb.
Her brains have been sucked out by the hair dye.
Probably too busy building a wall around Exeter.
That's how I ended up like this.
Right.
This is actually my natural colour.
No, so this is Cook Think.
Well, it's not.
Do you know what?
It's actually not finished.
Because I have to do three lifts to get it to the blonde I want, and he doesn't give me the time, you know?
He doesn't.
We've got to be in such a 12 o'clock tomorrow.
We have good people to talk to, Milo.
Anyway, sorry.
Focus entirely on your own.
I'm going back because I'm in the middle of a conversation.
Right, okay, I'll test it later.
This is a useful word for you to know, aposemitism.
And this is why bees and wasps are like yellow and black, and certain poisonous frogs are like bright colours.
And social justice warriors have unwittingly imitated this law of nature, which is about the only natural thing about them.
So this is how you can always tell with the purple and the rainbow hair and all the rest of it.
It's nature's way of saying run.
I'll be back.
And people wonder why I brought him, honestly.
How have you managed to find a poodle already, Maida?
I'm not that gay.
Hey, you've got your audience.
When people look at me, they don't know I'm gay.
I know.
That's what we tell you.
God, he's going to be insufferable at dinner now.
Stop!
Stop it.
I hate attention.
Right, would anyone like to talk to me and Milo?
Yes, I'm back now.
He is back.
After talking to the dirty smear merchants.
No, I was.
Yes, and then you seem to be on a roll, so I went for a wander.
Alright, so there's a gentleman with a feminist hat.
I'd like to ask you about feminism, sir.
Well, that didn't last very long, did it?
Are there any feminists left?
I know, and nobody is.
You can picture me with Mike.
Right, okay.
Well, next time you've got a feminist infestation, you know who to call.
Of course, of course.
Any of the anarchists left around?
We can talk about how anarchy isn't going to solve any problems.
Oh, why not?
Why are you so angry?
Why are you so angry?
You seem really angry.
Okay, mum.
Come on, let's have a bit of a bounce.
Come on, it'll be fun.
Come on.
Sorry?
Same here.
Another one of our friendly neighbourhood lefties has been very polite and genteel and kind.
Wow, my glasses are really.
It was the Liberal Democrat who was very angry.
Can we get a round of applause for the hero of the Liberal Democrats over there?
Bravo for that fantastic argument, sir.
It's the second time.
And the thing is, one of us knows who you are, so we'll send the police round for assaulting one of our speakers.
Oh, it's the second time I've been covered in chocolate this week.
This smells better than the last one.
I was going to say you've probably had worse, but you know, I didn't want to.
I didn't want to leave this one with you.
You don't need to.
I got this.
I need to get this picture.
No, I want you to take the picture when I'm still, you know, sodden.
Right.
Oh, just see, I've got.
You see, I've already, I want to thank that young man, and I hope that he sees this video because I'm already getting offers to lick it off.
Would you like to talk, sir?
Yes, please come over.
Colin says, let Milo take over and give him a call.
Right.
Right, Milo.
Can you do me a favour?
Can you talk to some people for a minute?
I need to make a phone call.
Yeah, sure.
Why?
Have you just been deselected?
Well, we'll find out, won't we?
Oh, but I mean, it was inevitable.
You had a good run.
Honestly, I can't believe I stuck it out as long as I did it.
No, I mean, any one of them?
I'm sure it's nothing.
Okay, do you want to wait five minutes?
I'm sure it's okay.
It's alright.
My channel's probably kicking down too.
Really?
No, I'll find out in a second.
We've got a matching phone cover.
I'll take over.
What?
We've got a matching phone cover.
Look.
It's sort of a gay skate.
You know, this is the problem, though.
I tried, but I failed.
I fell slightly short.
Because this was tomorrow's shirt, and I had tomorrow's phone cover on today.
You know, and that's that's that's yeah, look.
Over-committing, you see.
That's prediction.
You predicted this.
No, no, no.
I've just, I'm just tired, and I sort of woke up.
Do I look gay to you?
You're two years too late.
Right.
Does anybody have a question?
Sometimes as a journalist, you know, as a writer, which I used to be, you will read a phrase or you'll hear it and you'll be like, bastard, I wish I'd come up with that.
And the only one that I've encountered recently, aside from Popstar of Hate, is...
Which is an excellent one.
Were you here when I said...
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it was excellent.
It's so great, and it's in the headline.
Everything about it is wonderful.
Thank you, Guardian.
No, no, it was liberation.
Oh, sorry, right.
It was in French.
It was like le pop star duen or something.
Hate, is this really word in a weird word in French?
It's like H-A-I-N-E.
It's like, ha.
It's like, he's the pop star of eh.
Yeah, I don't respect the French language either.
No, I really don't.
Get a hard consonant.
Honestly, it's not that hard.
Just do it.
Just do it.
See what happens.
Just give me a tick.
You might not lose the next war.
That's all I'm saying.
They didn't even fight the war.
Oof.
Oof.
If you sit down at the beginning of the game and knock your king over from the start, you can't reasonably be said to have lost a game of chess.
That's true, right?
I was going to compliment you.
Dirty, dirty smear merchants is very beautiful.
It's lovely.
It just literally off the top of my head.
Dirty, dirty smear merchants.
It's very British.
It doesn't work in America, but it's lovely.
You know what?
It was Dankula.
He used the word dirty a lot the night before when he was insulting people.
I thought that's got a great moral dimension, hasn't it?
Oh, yeah.
Why do you think the Catholic Church used it for so long?
Exactly.
No, no, no, no, that's exactly it.
Dirty.
These dirty, dirty girls.
No, no, that's exactly how he was saying it.
You know, that's dirty.
And I can't believe the accent, but it was like, it was just like, oof, that's got an extra punch to it when you say that.
So you know why it works especially effectively with conservatives is because we have a more sensitive disgust reflex.
Have you seen that research?
I've read Jonathan Haidt's research into the five moral tastes.
Right, so I mean, some of this is a little bit overblown and over abstracted, but it does seem to be true that people who vote right-wing have a bit more of an easily triggered disgust reflex.
This is an evolutionary thing to keep us well.
You know, like as when you smell rotten food, you know, you involuntary shudder.
Well, conservatives have that happens to conservatives sooner than it happens to liberals, which is perhaps one of the reasons why they don't shower very often.
Well, change their t-shirts.
Why they look and smell as they do.
It may be that they're just not disgusted by unhygienic conditions like we are.
So If food is going off, we will typically, generally, be much more bothered by it sooner than our housemate who votes labor.
Isn't that interesting?
That is interesting.
And it makes me think that maybe I was a Labour voter in a past life, so I'm not that bothered about it either.
But no, but what's interesting...
I mean, in a sane world, you're still centre-left.
Well, yes, I am.
In a reasonable, sane universe, you're still centre-left.
Yes, but that universe is.
We just don't live in that world.
Long gone, yeah.
But it's really interesting because the flip side was the sort of left-wingers seem to have essentially boiled down the morality.
John Stuart Mill's harm principle.
This is what Jonathan Haidt was saying.
If there's no obvious harm, they think there can be no harm from it, and so they don't care, which is why they don't change their clothes, even though they might get disease.
You know, it's very interesting how it's immediate.
I think that's a principle they hold their enemies to and that they use rhetorically.
I don't think it's something they believe in because they're quite into unintended consequences.
I mean, they're the ones who invent, you know, they're the ones who, for instance, innovated this way of objecting to things because the unintended future possible consequences might disproportionately affect one group.
Like cracking down on drugs is racist because more black people get arrested.
That's a left-wing thing.
It is, but I'm not sure that's really done out of a moral desire.
I think that's more ideological.
Ideological tactics.
That's just, they just put that on.
Because knowing it's bullshit.
They really put the cart before a horse on that, because I think the sort of like.
I mean, I'd say the liberal way of looking at it is procedural.
To get to a desirable end, you have to go through a desirable procedure.
You can't just define a desirable end and then make up any procedure you like.
That's how you're doing.
Because the ends don't justify the means.
Precisely communism.
Precisely.
Well, I never got any traction for.
I don't know if they did it or not, because I don't care because I'm not here anymore.
But I'm just kidding.
I'm here supporting him because I care very much.
Did you take him literally?
I did.
Seriously, but not literally.
Yes, yes.
That's a good way of putting it, actually.
Well, it's not my way of putting it.
This is what I think The Atlantic said.
Trump supporters take him seriously but not literally.
And the problem with the press is that the press takes him literally but not seriously.
Very true.
And yeah.
No, sorry.
Menthol cigarettes.
The EU was thinking at least a few years ago of banning menthol cigarettes.
I never really got a coherent answer as to why.
I think some people said because they're like gateway cigarettes and all the rest of it.
But at least where I live in the States, only one group smokes menthol cigarettes.
And who are they?
And that's because black people.
Because menthol cigarettes weren't selling very well.
It's amazing, like the number of things that you think are sort of mystical and tangible handed down to us from mythology, but it were just invented by advertisers.
Like diamonds, for instance.
Oh, smoking itself.
Yeah, diamonds had no value at all until somebody just spent lots and lots of money associating it with weddings.
To beers, in fact.
Right.
And so menthol cigarettes weren't selling very well, and nobody really wanted to smoke them.
And the cigarette company, you know, there is an unpleasant racially charged quote out there about what the CEO of the cigarette company said.
Just sell them to.
And so they started spending money on this.
And now it's a sharp racial divide.
Well, it's obviously therefore what I smoke because I want to have something on hand when people ask you for those espresso.
You've got to remember your hot sauce in your purse, haven't you?
Right, right, right.
You know, it's like you're lining up for a club in Washington, D.C., and they're like checking through your bag.
It's like, you smoke menthol.
You know, it's like in Newport's.
So EU is thinking of banning menthol cigarettes.
And I was trying to make the case that this is, according to your own principles and definition, an egregiously racist procedure.
But it specifically affects black people.
Exactly.
Exactly.
How dare they?
They didn't get any traction.
They don't care.
They don't care about consistency.
You know that.
People didn't listen.
But right, should we take a question from you?
People thought it was silly that I wasn't being serious about it, but I was being serious about it.
Well, they are seriously hypocritical and they don't care.
I just cared about the cigarettes because I quite like them.
But anyway.
Sorry, I had to say that.
Give him a break.
He's only just started.
Nah, it's all good banter, you know.
Well, I'm in five pints in with the lads.
But we found a leaflet earlier circulating around the protesters.
I don't know.
I already saw this one.
I did not see this one.
So yeah, this is the informationer circulating around.
Use your vote to stop the far right.
Stop racist Carl Benjamin.
Exactly.
We're trying to put a sneak.
Yeah, I know it.
You hate me so much.
I hate you for many reasons.
But being white isn't one of them, don't worry.
That's a good clip.
I know.
It was lovely.
It was lovely because it was real, you know.
Use your vote in the Euro elections on the 23rd of May to stop racist Carl Benjamin in the far-right UKIP.
That's all of you.
Oh, the protests have turned up again.
There they are.
I am an alt-right blogger.
There you go.
Who says he finds racist jokes funny?
Well, sue me.
Oh, my God.
Who doesn't find jokes funny?
Honestly.
I would just like to object to you being called a blogger on the basis that I've seen no evidence whatsoever you're even literate.
I do talk into a camera.
And much circumstantial evidence that suggests the opposite.
Oh.
I've made vile comments about rape that I wouldn't even.
I mean, it wouldn't even aside.
I find it aside, right?
God go on.
I think we've all heard the arguments before.
They like to bring it up again and again.
Do you know what Joel was really interesting?
This was in the Plymouth Herald the other day.
It was just this quote.
It was, feminist protesters paint pictures of their vaginas and present them to a blogger or whatever, Carl Benjamin, who said he wouldn't even rape them.
And I'm like, what are you doing, you lunatics?
If I say that I wouldn't even rape you, you paint a picture of your vagina and go, go on, go on, I dare you.
I mean, what are you?
Are you taunting me?
I can't say the castle wouldn't be a fan of that.
That sounds a bit right there for my vagina.
Well, actually, it was quite odd-looking and higher up than it should have been.
So perhaps it was a percussion.
I mean, Photoshop is a great virtue nowadays.
It looked like some kind of 20th century.
It was pretty disgusting, but it had lots of glitter on it.
Well, that's that whole vajazzle thing, isn't it?
That whole youth thing.
How would you feel?
Okay.
How would you feel if you got a girl home?
I've never seen the Instagram posts all the.
I was going to ask you, how would you feel if you got a girl home?
Yeah.
And things were going well.
Okay, yeah.
He's familiar with the process.
And then you get to the final stage of proceedings.
And she's got purple crystals snaking up from there.
What would this?
I think she dropped some crystal method on there or something.
What the hell is going on there?
Okay.
Was that what would have happened?
But would it be?
No, I mean, I usually go for conservative-looking girls with straight hair and all any for Piercings and all.
No conservatives with curly hair, just conservatives with straight hair.
Oh.
Probably not pink hair, right?
It's okay to have preferences.
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, it might be a bit disconcerting, but I wouldn't say no.
It's like, I'm here now.
How would you, um, how do you know if you're if you're out, you know, with the lads?
Um, five points in.
Oh, you know that.
Hypothetically speaking.
Oh, yeah, of course, never would happen in the sober light of day.
No.
And how would you identify if a woman was conservative, you know, in a crowd?
Do they have any tells?
Do they have any signs?
You're like, oh, she's one of them.
Shooting fascist bigot company.
Oh, sorry to swear.
I know that's not right at all.
But as long as we're not shooting that shite, they're usually more sensible.
You know, that's just the general.
It's quite a low bar, isn't it?
But unfortunately, half the female population still fail to clear it.
I don't know.
So at this point, I'm thinking that what you're saying is that this was a great advertisement and you're voting for me.
No, I thought it was quite funny because they have a few quotes like that.
He called a disabled person a Asian woman a chenk.
This is all quotes, so I'm not saying this.
But there's no references, it's just quote works.
That coins as evidence nowadays, I guess.
You know, quote marks.
What I really want out of my political passion is that you can't do that.
Well, it takes you to some reference now as well.
No, no, no, I don't even have a political career.
You're not going to have a government data or are you quoting a think tank?
So, yeah, but this is really interesting.
We lead a violent far-right street protests alongside Tommy Robinson.
It's like, well, it's not us being violent.
We actually have to ask the cops to come down because they're the ones who are attacking us.
It's rather ironic that this is the same thing.
That's why I have the violent listeners.
This is why I have problems on American college campuses now because we will apply for a permit's license to wherever it's like, oh, yeah, we're not sure that this is a good use of college funds because your events turn violent.
Turn violent?
They just happen.
It's not some abstract passive thing that happens.
Your students who you have indoctrinated in conspiracy theories and garbage and told that violence is an appropriate response to ideas you don't like show up and beat people up.
My events don't turn violent.
And this is, this is...
I'm only three points in.
I'm still unsteady on my feet.
It's because I'm not used to drinking beer.
The problem with this stuff is it's like the state creating it in universities, and then the police want to charge me $40,000 for security for a speech where the products of government-funded education are beating up taxpaying citizens, and another branch of government wants to charge you to keep you safe from their own projects.
Because it's a popular police.
The police are paid by taxpayers already, and they're asking you for extra money.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
That's a bit of a money joke.
Ask me.
Imagine that that's exactly how we feel about it.
We're just like this.
Imagine.
Because this is what happens.
Imagine, right?
You're standing opposite a crowd of people and they're all threatening to beat you up.
And the police say, don't worry, we'll intervene.
But could you just take this invoice first?
No, that's right, and they'll defend you, and then the next day be like, oh, you're seeing good to hear.
Here's a check by the way.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
They won't agree to defend you until you pay.
Melbourne police in Australia say I owe them $50,000.
And what happened at the speech in Melbourne is that the police refused, they had a stand-down order.
So they were literally told by their police chief not to police, and I got a bill for $50,000 for it.
So obviously I didn't pay it.
Well, obviously.
But the police chief is giving them stand-down orders with the result that these left-wing protesters were doing like strafing runs, running along the line for.
There's a very long line for tickets because I'm very popular.
And there's a huge long line for tickets.
And they were like running along and just punching people like this.
You know, like, just like these cowardly little figures.
It's like punch, run, punch, run, punch, run.
Oh, dear.
And the police just wouldn't go anywhere near them or touch them.
And then eventually, of course, it devolved into pandemonium.
Man, I'll tell you what, right?
I cannot wait until things get bad enough until you feel the need to run for office.
I really can't.
That's going to be the best.
I would vote for you in a heartbeat.
Yeah, I would too.
No, my grand decided I'm not allowed to be a politician, so I'm afraid I can't do that.
Does she make all your major decisions for you?
Just the one he said you could be a fucking school shooter just as long as you're not a politician.
I'm like, oh, well.
But you know.
Never say never, I guess.
Dylan Roof, fine.
Tony Blair, not fine.
Oh, I can't put this up now, can I?
Jesus Christ.
It's good to see you.
But, right, well, thank you for giving me this very, very persuasive pamphlet.
Keep the leaflet.
I certainly will.
Yeah, put it up on the channel and all the evidence against you, I guess.
As little as it is.
Oh, sorry about it.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, thank you very much for coming down.
And where are you guys drinking?
You're just in the pub over there, right?
Ignore them.
We'll be going to a weather spins, not old timers.
God forbid.
Right, well, I think that's going to be the last one we're going to do.
So we're going to go get a beer as well.
Hey, good day.
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