This Debate Is For The Dogs | The Babylon Bee Podcast
Kamala Harris and two moderators finally squared off against Donald Trump and The Babylon Bee podcast is back to hit every key moment. Also, a doctor from Australia is facing losing his license because he shared Babylon Bee articles. Dr. Jereth Kok's case can be supported here: https://www.givesendgo.com/GT59 This episode is brought to you by our sponsors: Save $50 off a 4-week emergency food supply kit from My Patriot Supply: http://preparewithbee.com Get a Christian board game that is actually good by picking up Deliverance: http://playdeliverance.com
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Travis.
Why do you have me say my name, but you say Jarrett?
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And we have person.
Well, I was fooled by the disguise.
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He's a problem.
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I'm Rocco Sanchez.
It's a good name.
A rare art thief from Mexico.
Are you a rare border?
Do you steal rare art or is the thief, are you rare as a thief?
I rarely steal.
Rare.
I rarely.
I've done it twice in my life.
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I've come out of retirement for one month.
I rarely do this.
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I will this time.
I tried to steal a Banksy, but it kind of like just does graffiti everywhere.
So I had to steal a whole building.
Yes.
That's a rare, that's a rare thief.
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Crime.
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Don't have that one.
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Okay.
This episode, we are going to be talking about the Kamala Harris slash Donald Trump debate.
And we're going to have a lot of thoughts on that.
There's also a doctor who apparently lost his license for sharing Babylon B articles in Australia.
No.
What?
It's outrageous.
Really?
And did you not read the notes?
I didn't read any of that.
Yes, it's really outrageous.
But it is outrageous.
It is outrageous.
And also, Haitians are eating cats.
They're eating cats.
Dogs and cats living together so that they can hide from the Haitians.
Yes.
Mass hysteria.
It's mass hysteria.
So please stay tuned for that.
First, everybody's favorite thing in the whole world, hate mail.
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You used to be good.
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I really miss Adam Ford.
Okay, so here's the hate mail.
And what we're going to do is start with the comments.
And then we're going to see which article they're mad about.
Okay.
Oh, I'm going to say, do we get to guess?
Do we get to guess?
I don't even know because I don't read the notes before sign up for these things.
So let's find out.
The first one says, let Hustler magazine have this sewage.
Does Hustler still exist?
I don't know.
That was kind of the off-brand Playboy switch.
I think so.
Yeah.
That's the Larry Flint people versus Larry Flint, right?
Oh, you know more about this than I do.
It's just the movie, Woody Harrelson.
Travis Woodside, Hustler.
Hustler.
Yeah, Hustler.
I'm just kidding.
He doesn't know anything about it.
And then there was the other one that had like a string of lingerie as well.
Which one was that?
Oh, that was just thinking of Maxim or Maxim or is that?
Well, Maxim was like up.
Oh, okay.
I guess it was sort of a softcore porn.
I don't know anything.
For more discussion on Smutty Magazines, become a Babylon Bee subscriber and you'll hear more in the subscribe.
Yeah, we should put that on the subscriber.
Don't Google it, Homeschoolers.
No.
What's the next hate meal?
Okay, that Spitfire said, over the line, we all know your CEO hates Trump.
Okay, so we have a hint.
It's about Trump.
I'm talking about Trump.
Okay.
Sandy.
Sandy PhD, who presumably is a doctor, says, I love the BB, but this is completely tasteless and makes me angry.
Would love to see it deleted below any decent standard.
You know, you're not allowed to put PhD in your Twitter handle unless you are actually a PhD.
That's the law.
That's why I don't have one on the Twitter.
You can also make up words.
You can make up words.
Okay, we want to guess what it's about.
I think I know which one this is about.
I don't.
I have a thought.
Well, no, I don't.
I think this is.
What's your guess?
Let's say it at the same time.
Robert.
RFK Jr. Kennedy Jr.
Yeah.
That was just a little bit of a question.
I wish I had said RFK Jr. instead of Robert F. Kennedy because we literally would have said it at the same time.
That would have been amazing.
Yeah, I think it's about RFK Jr.
That's what I think, but that was a while ago.
Well, this says, say, August 20th.
Let's see what it is.
Yep.
Oh, that's the one.
The headline was, Trump adds a Kennedy and hopes he will draw all the sniper fire.
And for the blind, it shows RFK Jr. standing next to Trump.
Both in Trump's giving a thumbs up.
Both in an orange.
Look how smart I am.
They both have a lot of orange stuff.
Fantastic expression.
That Photoshop, honestly, I think, I don't know if Patina did that, but that Photoshop really sold it.
It's a good, it's a good idea.
It's quite good.
Trump's like, this is a brilliant plan.
I'm trying to thumb so.
I'm trying to figure out how they, why they thought that would be good for Hustler.
Because it's.
Because they only read the articles.
Because it's track.
I swear, I only look at it for the naked ladies.
I don't know.
Remember, that was from Morgan Mindy.
It's a good joke.
I don't.
I haven't seen Mork and Mindy in oh, many moons.
I have never seen Morkin Mindy.
Is that the one with Robert J. Robert?
Robert J. Williams.
Robin Williams.
Robin J. Williams.
Yes.
Yep.
That's the one.
So, you know, people got really mad about that article.
And I don't know if I was just like, I like dark humor too much, but I didn't really see the big deal.
I don't really like dark, edgy humor just for the sake of dark, edgy humor.
Sure, sure.
But I felt like that one was done in good enough fun that it wasn't, you know.
You know what I saw?
I think there was like an age divide where people who were a little bit older and remembered when RFK Jr.'s father got shot and they remembered JFK, all the boomers out there.
I think they were the ones who were like, whoa, too far.
You know, there's a divide too where like Gen Z is a lot more comfortable joking about 9-11 because they don't remember it or whatever.
They were like, how dare you?
You're not patriotic.
Right.
I'm cool with 9-11 jokes as long as they're funny.
They have to be funny.
It's not the dark, edgy, like, oh, ha-ha, people died.
But it's like, you can use those elements in a joke without being disrespectful, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
You can do jokes about anything.
There are lines to cross, but that was not one of them.
But jokes about something more recent, you know, something that's in our recent memory, like the Peloponnesian War, too far.
Too soon.
Like the Armenian genocide.
Too soon.
What's in the news this week?
Let's talk about the debate.
Oh.
Come, let us talk together.
Did you watch it?
No.
Oh, this is going to be great.
I was hoping nobody would ask me that.
I did so I could sound like I know what I'm talking about.
That was the first question.
You didn't miss much.
I actually, it was so stressful to watch, honestly.
Like, it was not a peaceful thing.
I was also being evacuated from my home.
That might have been part of the reason why.
I was stressed out, but it was very stressful.
I had only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before, and we worked really late on the movie.
I got home and immediately went upstairs to lie down, but it took me a little while to fall asleep.
But I was playing Deus Ex Human Revolution on my Steam Deck.
It's a good game.
And then I was also watching a baseball game on my phone.
So I had a much better time during the debate than anybody who watched the debate.
Yeah, I was like regretting doing it.
I was like, can you please watch something else?
We ended up watching, I think, Dude Perfect or something like that.
Yeah, I only watched about an hour of it.
I watched like 40 minutes this morning before doing the podcast.
And then I watched a little bit last night.
For some reason, I thought it started at 7.
And then when I got home, it was like an hour into it.
I was like, what's happening?
It seems like it was the same for the whole time.
So it really wasn't very different.
You know, Trump sort of stayed on the same topic the whole time.
It seemed like he talked about immigration every chance he got.
He hammered that pretty hard.
I don't know.
I don't think you, I don't think you missed a whole lot.
When I was, I was kind of tracking it on X, and it was like, in the beginning, everyone's like, yeah, Trump got her.
Yeah, Trump got her.
And then it's like, oh, no, Trump, what are you doing?
No, no.
So that was kind of what I.
He started out the debate pretty strong, I think.
If you listen to the Daily Wire backstage, they hammer him pretty hard about like, oh, he didn't go strong enough.
Oh, yeah.
But I think he was pretty good for about half the debate and maybe 30, 40 minutes.
But then when Kamala Harris dangles this bait about rally size, the size of the rallies and crowds, he totally takes it.
And it's in the middle of them like talking about like a bill, you know, because the Democrats like to say, oh, we had a bipartisan immigration bill and the Republicans rejected it, but it's because it had all this other stuff on it.
And the moderator said, okay, would you like to respond to why you killed that bill?
And he goes, first, I'd like to talk about the rally numbers.
And then he starts talking about, no, let it go, man.
President Trump, on that point, I want to get your response.
Well, I would like to respond.
Let me just ask, though, why did you try to kill that bill?
And successfully so, that would have put thousands of additional agents and officers on the board.
First, let me respond as to the rallies.
Talk about immigration.
It was obviously, in my mind, very clearly three to one.
They were fact-checking Donald Trump all over the place every time he would say something.
And they did not fact check Kamala on any of the lies that she told because she did.
She kept bringing up a lot of very fine people.
Yeah.
Yeah, she brought up Charlottesville.
She brought up all kinds of stuff that has been debunked.
And like, clearly.
And no one's like mentioning anything.
And I wouldn't expect them to, except that they were fact-checking Trump throughout the debate.
I think fact-checks by the moderators during a debate is a terrible idea.
That's not what a moderator is for in a debate.
You present your ideas and your facts, and people can decide if they believe it or not.
If the other person wants to cross-examine you and say, you know, that's actually false because blah, blah, blah, that's up to the candidate.
That's not up to the moderators to do that.
It is literally their job.
That's what a debate is.
That's what a debate is, right?
Right.
Like there's no, you watch a theology debate, a Christian versus an atheist, and there's no situation where a moderator's like, actually, I have here evidence that that is false.
It's like, no, that's not their job.
That's the job of the other person.
There was even that one time when he corrects Donald Trump on, because Donald Trump said something about how he had said we won by a hair or something like that, or we lost by a hair.
Like he's like, I said that sarcastically.
And the guy goes, I didn't detect any sarcasm.
I was like, what?
Not sarcastic.
Like, what is that?
You're fact-checking him on his emotions.
It was so clearly like, okay, Donald Trump, you're a terrible person.
So explain that.
And then Kamala, he's terrible, right?
Can you just say how terrible is he, Kamala, for real?
Please.
Yeah, I don't know how much it will even affect anything.
I mean, the people who agree with Trump still agree with Trump.
The people who agree with Harris still agree with Harris.
Does it hit anybody in the middle?
You know, the people that are the swing votes?
I don't know.
Maybe, maybe not.
Yeah, I don't think, I think the biggest thing is it's a missed opportunity for Trump.
Like, if he had been able to just shut her down, you know, then that whole narrative that she can't talk and give an interview and, you know, talk on her feet and she's just this drunk or whatever.
Right.
Like, would have, you would have been able to continue that kind of messaging.
And now it's like she looked decent.
I know.
Yes.
Yes.
In a way that was biased because of the moderators and all that, but still.
I think that it was clear that Kamala, and I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I think it's clear she got the questions beforehand.
I really do.
I don't think that's even a conspiracy theory.
Didn't they do that with Hillary Clinton?
They did it with Hillary Clinton.
And I think with her, and ABC, what is it, the director of ABC issue, I think, that did it for Hillary.
Right.
It was one of her good friends, the ABC, and the director.
Obviously, they prepped her for this, and it was all directed at Trump.
It was such a crap show.
Like, if I were a Christian, I would say the other word.
Although it did look like Trump had some good moments, like I said, like he immediately jumped in the I'm speaking.
Yeah, he did jump on that.
That was awesome.
Yeah, I'm talking now.
Yeah.
That sounds familiar.
He's like, that sounds familiar.
She should have just done stuff like that the whole debate.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I know, but she was so smarmy.
It was like three people gathered together.
We're all adults.
This guy's an idiot, obviously.
You know, that was the attitude the whole night.
Oh, it was so hard to watch.
Yeah, it was actually.
Kamala Harris was really irritating to watch.
And granted, I'm on Team Trump.
So you can tell just by looking at you.
You can tell just by looking at me.
I love the Mexicans.
I love the Mexicans.
They're the greatest people in the entire world.
People.
Good at hopping walls.
People.
I don't remember what I was talking about.
You were saying that she was.
I was very slam on Team Trump, but Kamala was really irritating.
Oh, she was really irritating because her facial expressions, the way she was playing it up, looking at him like he's retarded.
I feel like they definitely prepped her for that.
Like her whole Gen Z social media thing, like get these reaction shots because that way we're going to be able to cut them into these TikToks.
So Trump did a good job of looking mostly stoic.
There's a few times that he raises his eyebrows and sort of laughed to himself, but he didn't do anything outrageous.
They definitely prepped her for the debate for posting things on TikTok, like trying to get these little like viral reaction things.
I actually am cynical enough where I watch a Hollywood movie now or a TV show or whatever.
And I'm like, a producer came in and said, write a joke for TikTok.
Because you can just tell the way that they cut it.
Like, oh, this was just written for social media.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, so that's why we need to atomize this and make.
Yes.
It's very interesting, though.
I feel like Donald Trump, I think his poker face was pretty good.
I think overall, though, if they're going to atomize this for the right, they're going to have all kinds of good clips.
I mean, like, he said some good things.
Well, once you pull it out of the context of the debate and you're able to take Kamala, I can't even remember.
I don't know how you're supposed to say her name.
Kamala?
It's Cornelius.
Camila.
And you take her statements and then you can just juxtapose them against other things she said or against actual news stories and facts, you know, and then you're going to be like, look, she was completely wrong.
Right.
And maybe that doesn't matter for someone who never sees that, but.
I think you're right.
I think at the end of the day, this is going to be a fairly good thing for Trump.
I don't think it's going to be bad because it's very clear that ABC was biased.
And I think anybody that watched the actual debate, it was very clear.
Like there's no.
I think for independence, yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People who are firmly Democrat, they're not going to care.
They're not going to care and we're not going to care.
So it's the swing voters.
Because they're idiots.
It's the swing voters.
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So, here's the thing in the debate that kept coming up.
Trump kept talking about immigrants, and then he started talking about, they're eating our cats.
They're eating people's cats.
Dogs, dogs are being eaten.
And then Travis will now do Camela Harris's reaction.
They're eating dogs.
Oh, so what she did.
Just her expressions.
Yeah.
They're eating cats.
Dogs.
Dogs.
They're eating the birds, the geese, the wonderful geese.
Everybody loves geese.
I'll be the moderator with you.
Yeah, here we go.
The geese have been eaten.
No geese.
Nobody will have any geese anymore.
Thanksgiving.
You know, that's a thing.
Yeah.
Now you need to fact-check me.
Actually, that has been proven wrong.
We talked to the city manager and he said that's not happening.
Your face has been proven wrong.
Your face.
My face is actually, that's also wrong.
My face is correct.
This is my correct face.
I'm speaking.
That's actually wrong.
You are not speaking at that moment.
But Kamala, was he speaking or not?
Just first of all, let me just say that the economy is very important to us.
And, you know, Trump left us with a terrible economy, and that's why immigration is okay.
That was amazing.
You are beautiful.
And I'm so glad you said that.
Trump, how is she correct about it?
Save the cats.
Big fan of the cats.
That has been not much of a dog person.
He loves dogs.
I'm going to be honest with you.
They can maybe eat the dogs.
Maybe that's all right.
Okay, so, but this is a crazy story out of Springfield, Ohio, because they've actually, this is not like in any doubt, this is a true thing that they've bused 20,000 migrants into this town that's of 50,000 people, which picture that ratio.
Like you guys all live in this little tight-knit community, and now one out of every three people in the town just arrived from Haiti.
When are we going to get a new SimCity where that's one of the events that comes up?
Is that a disaster?
Like a disaster?
It's like a bus of just 20,000 migrants.
Oh, we have to house them somewhere.
So Not the Bee, our sister site, collected a bunch of testimonies from residents of Springfield, Ohio about migrants eating local wildlife and pets.
So this is one of the things they were like fact-checking and Kamala was going about.
Well, and the moderator kept correcting him and saying you talked to the city manager somehow.
Yeah.
Saying, no, the city manager says that's not correct.
I still, okay, I got to say, I still have not seen direct evidence of them eating cats, people's cats and dogs.
So I don't know if that's a rumor that spun out of everything else.
But it does appear that they are at least going to the park and killing ducks and geese and then carrying them around and eating them.
Yeah.
And so, and people are complaining about pets being missing, presumably.
We don't, yeah, again, they could be missing coincidentally for other reasons.
I mean, cats, you know, 98% of the time, you don't know where they are anyway.
Yeah, they could disappear for a week and you're like, I guess I need a new cat.
And then you buy a new cat and you're like, oh, no.
Two cats.
There's a rash of missing dogs.
We don't know what it is.
It's probably not the Haitians that eat dogs.
So a lifelong resident of Springfield details how she discovered a decapitated pighead in Snyder Park and explains how the city's trying to pass it off as, oh, those are just cults.
Why would you want to pass it off?
Now we have a cult problem.
Guys, that's just the cult.
Say, just relax.
Luciferian Satan worship.
This is like, there's a, I like the idea of like, we could do like a sketch or just an article about like the city manager of Arkham just being like, or of Dunwich or something, just being like, they're just fish people, whatever.
They just worship Dagon.
It's not a big deal.
Oh, you mean of H.P. Lovecraft, yeah.
Oh, okay.
There you go.
I was thinking more along the lines of the ancient Philistine coast.
Nah, they just worship Dagon.
Yeah, not a big deal.
Dagon was used in Lovecraft.
Well, you know, at some point, the Philistines did kind of like migrate south from Greece, and then they landed in Israel.
So it was a lot similar.
I'm sure they did.
And then they went to America.
The Philistines?
The Israelites.
This lady told the city council that she is too old and weak to defend herself from all the Haitians defecating on her property.
That's poop.
When she told them to leave, they threw a mattress at her.
I have men who don't speak English in my front yard screaming at me.
I weigh 95 pounds.
I can't defend myself.
And my husband is elderly because she has Haitians taking a dump on her front yard.
Is that the lady right there?
That's her sir, yeah.
She doesn't look that elderly.
She looks frail.
She looks kind of old.
What's that shirt she's wearing?
It says, sorry, you want to do that?
You want to do what?
And that looks like it's like an old Civil War generation.
Charles Manson?
This is Charles Manson, the famous Civil War general.
This guy says he's now paying $420 a month for insuring two cars because the cost of doing business insurance company in the area has skyrocketed because the illegal Haitian immigrants don't know how to drive.
So I guess this is beyond just it's not crazy taxi over there.
They're like all smashing each other.
Yeah.
I want to go back really quick.
Her story about them throwing a mattress at her.
I'm not doubting her story, but that's the mental image.
I'm trying to figure out like she's like, get out of here.
And they're carrying a mattress already and then they're just throwing it at her.
Like, what happened?
My thought is, yeah, where did the mattress come from?
How did they throw it?
Because, I mean, I suppose you could throw it, but.
Are we sure it wasn't Mike Lindell throwing a minor pillow or a pillow?
Try this.
He's trying to help.
These are amazing pillows.
Gosh, that's so crazy.
So people are really rallying around this cat issue, though, in Springfield, Ohio.
So Mala Harris previously bragged about her policy of bringing 55,000 and then up to 100,000 Haitians, giving them temporary protective status.
And now people are responding by with AI images of Trump.
Maybe we need to go back to the future.
No, you have to go back, Marty, to the last story because they're all smashing into each other's cars and stuff.
This is kind of how all the story started.
And then you mentioned that it's crazy taxi.
Yes.
So now every time you go into town, you hear this voice over the loudspeakers.
Hey, hey, hey, are you ready to have some fun?
I got some kicking music and I'm ready to see you drive.
Get those coins out of your pocket, throw them in the machine, and let's get started.
Crazy taxi.
And then you have that music.
Yeah, So for our blind listeners, Kyle's dressed like a crazy taxi driver.
A little bit.
Hey, that's true.
You're on point.
Hey, yeah, where you want?
Where you want to go?
We didn't even plan that.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, that's interesting.
This AI photograph of Donald Trump, he's running away from two what appear to be Haitians, shirtless Haitians, and he's carrying two kittens.
And he looks like he's running pretty fast.
How do you know he's AI?
This is an AI image.
Oh, maybe this is real.
Yeah.
Looks pretty real to me.
Here's another one.
I like in Crazy Taxi how the guys are like, I need to get to the church in 30 seconds or else I'm jumping out of the car.
And then it's like you jump out of the car.
Like, you're not going to get there any sooner.
No.
But you don't get out of car and walking.
So here's Trump carrying a cat and a duck.
Very menacing Asian.
It's almost like they almost look zombie-like.
They do look like zombies.
They are going after him.
I mean, these are almost.
This one's not appropriate for this one seems.
I mean, these all these pictures seem racist to me.
Am I wrong?
I don't think it's racist because what's actually happening is that our people are actually racing over.
It's a nationality.
It's nationalityist.
Yeah.
I like that one.
He's smiling like he's pranking them.
I got the cat.
I got you, Ken.
You're good, Haitian.
You almost got me there.
I love you.
You almost got me there.
Oh, man.
I love you, good.
Such a loving president.
Now, this one I know is fake because that cat is not worried about the water.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's just sitting in the water.
And it just, he's got a Tommy gun that time.
For our blind listeners, Trump is driving a Jeep with a bunch of cats in it, and he's shooting a one-handed, some kind of one-handed assault rifle.
It looks like a Tommy gun.
But the bullet is huge.
And then he's got all the cats are like got their fists up in the air.
Like, yes.
Now, here's Trump as like a Navy SEAL.
He's saving a cat.
He's like chest high in the water.
Yep.
Wow.
Like Tears of the Sun.
He looks like he's in the movie Tears of the Sun.
Yes.
Oh, Tears of the Sun's great movie.
Starring Bruce Willis.
Bruce Willis.
I remember that one.
I miss Pruce Williams.
He got a bunch of Haitian chefs chasing after him here.
It looks like at an elementary school.
I like the show.
And he's running with Ain from Cowboy Beba.
Yeah, he's got the dog and a cat here.
And then we have Trump very solemnly walking, and the ducks are following him like he's the mother duck.
That is what's happening.
They've imprinted on him.
And then now there's a duck cat.
A duck cat.
Oh, the cats and the ducks are getting together.
It's like the old Nickelodeon show Cat Duck.
A cat duck.
Big duck cat, man.
Oh, now he's riding it.
And actually, Donald Trump Jr., who I believe is related to Donald Trump, has shared an image of Trump riding a giant cat.
I like the proportions on Trump for this one.
Yeah, he's like an animated character.
He looks a little bit like a bobblehead.
It's like almost a cheeky Trump.
Yeah, it's like a bobblehead Trump.
Rep Eric Swalwell had a meltdown, had a little bit of an explosion over the Trump protecting pet memes after the House GOP shares.
Eric Swalwell, dude.
This guy takes himself way too seriously.
I do think you kind of need to back up in that like the House GOP shared a tweet, shared an AI-generated image of Trump saving cats from Haitians, which is just hilarious in itself.
Like this is where we are.
And then Eric Swalva actually printed it out and started yelling about it.
What in the hell is this?
It's hilarious.
Chairman tweets protect our ducks and kittens in Ohio because he goes some down, goes down some crazy rabbit hole, completely debunked that aliens are eating cats.
He just called them aliens.
Jackwagon.
Are you okay, Mr. Chairman?
Because last year, for a very long time, you tweeted and promoted Kanye West as he was calling for genocide against the Jews, and you kept it up.
And now, when we have victims coming here, you're tweeting this nonsense.
I don't know why you would do this.
I hope you're okay.
I don't know if the aliens who are eating your ducks are in the room with us right now.
But Mr. Chairman, this is a serious issue.
These people have loved ones who have been lost, and you tweeted this.
Oh, my goodness.
Boy, he's really trying to kick it.
If you're arguing with a joke, you've lost.
Yes.
I think in general.
You've already lost.
Yeah, I mean, he could briefly bring it up as like, this is a little unprofessional, but he just posting it, like having a big old printout and just making a big old fuss about it was really weird.
Well, he should have gone to acting school.
I mean, as an actor.
I was like watching him.
It was not a very convincing performance, I just have to say.
Definitely not an Oscar going his way.
So here's some more election news for you.
Kamala Harris's team put out a policies page finally two months later after she was a candidate.
Here's my policies.
And someone went into the code and discovered that they literally just went into Joe Biden's page.
They just copied it and pasted it.
It still says Joe Biden and stuff in the code behind it.
That is so good.
If you go inspect it in Chrome or whatever.
That's actually really funny because last night her big point was, you know, I'm the candidate of change.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, we're not going back.
We're not going.
We need to go forward.
We need to go forward.
A new way forward, it's called, and each policy has a section that compares and contrasts her policy with Project 2025, which Trump has nothing to do with.
Yeah.
And he keeps saying, I don't even read it.
And she's looking at him in disbelief while he's saying, I've never read it.
Like, like, my handlers told me you read it.
Wow.
So the five policies, they're ending taxes on tips, $25,000 for new homebuyers, tackling inflation, support for Supreme Court overhauls, and vowing to sign Roe v. Wade and labor bills should Congress pass them.
Sounds like communism, but okay.
Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala Harris.
Big surprise.
I'm very shocked.
I thought she was.
I thought she was American.
I thought she was not a communist, and I was wrong.
No, I'm not surprised at all.
I mean, I guess I'm being.
So she wrote a letter, apparently, in which she endorsed Kamala Harris, and she signed the post.
I guess it was just a post, not a letter.
And she signed it, childless cat lady, which is a weird thing to boast about.
I know it's a hit.
It's a hit on what JD Vance has said, but hey, I'm a childless cat lady.
It's like, that's not a thing to be proud of.
Exactly.
And Elon Musk has generously volunteered.
Yeah.
What did he say?
He responded.
Taylor, you win.
I'm going to help you out.
I will give you a child.
Fine.
And guard your cats with my life.
Oh.
What?
That to me, that has a lot of under, like, that has some subtext because he has had a lot of children with a lot of women.
Is that what he's suggesting?
Or is he like, can't you take one of my kids?
I don't think he's giving her an existence.
He's existing together.
Yeah, I don't think he's giving her an existing.
He will give you a child.
Giving in this.
Like, I will know you as Adam Newman.
I mean, that's a really, it's a good joke, but that is like edgy.
That's an edgy thing to do.
That's almost like harassment.
In a funny way.
Hey, Taylor.
Yeah.
I'll give you a kid.
What?
Yeah.
Like, that's like, it seems kind of random.
You know what's funny?
It's all over the line for the Babylon beat.
You know what's funny to me, though, is like everything is so funny right now.
Like, the House GOP is sharing a picture of Trump saving cats and ducks from Haitians.
Yeah.
And everybody is so mad about how funny everything is.
Yeah.
Like this guy, Eric Swabal is like angrily talking about it.
He's tweeting like, I'll give you a kid.
That's hilarious.
No matter how you slice it.
Like the richest man in the world is publicly telling Taylor Swift, I'll impregnate you if you want.
And everybody's mad at him.
And I'm like, it's just funny.
Playing devil's advocate here.
What if I sliced it diagonally?
You said any way you slice it.
Oh, I remember when he said that now.
I think it's worth this to like.
That stumped a mudslide podcast.
Yeah.
I have nothing to say.
Don't I don't know where to go with that.
I don't even know.
I'm sorry.
Well, Taylor Swift would know.
Oh, she would know.
I guess Elon Musk knows too.
Why would she know?
You should ask her.
I don't have her number.
I guess Elon Musk probably does.
He has everyone's number.
He has a magical book with everyone's number in it, and he opens it and jumps into adventures.
He probably could, actually.
He was sitting there like this.
And he told his assistant, he's like, bring me all the numbers.
I'm sorry, which number?
All numbers.
His artificial intelligence.
I'm picturing Halo with that little lady that pops up.
Cortana.
Yeah, Cortana.
Cortana.
Don't make promises to a girl that you can't keep.
Did I quote it right?
I don't know.
I don't know what you're talking about.
That sounds appropriate for this.
Cortana said something like that because he's like, I'll get you out of here.
I don't remember.
Was it on Halo?
He's like, I'll survive or something.
And she's like, don't make promises you can't keep.
I've only played it.
It's all tragic.
I only played Halo 1 through 3 and Reach.
So if it was in 4 or 5, I had no idea.
It was either 3.
In one of them, I think it was 4-ish.
They started really going hard into Cortana's character.
Like, she became a main character and the whole thing.
Do you play as Cortana?
I do.
But not in the game.
But just in the imagination.
What else is in the news?
Let's find out.
Sony shut down Concord, which is an online-only game.
And it was known as this woke game.
This is going to be inclusive and progressive.
And there was Muslim characters and large black characters.
Yeah, and characters with their pronouns listed next to them on their profiles.
So that's the only reason we're talking about it because this isn't a video game podcast, even though we've talked about Crazy Taxi already.
It was in development for eight years.
It had a budget of approximately $100 million.
And it was live and playable for less than two weeks.
So it had to have done absolutely poor for them not to even give it a month.
Well, my guess is it's like all this stuff with the DNC getting so flowerbed.
I'm sorry, getting so upset about all of the joking.
Because it's probably just a big old meme fest.
Don't you think?
Like, look at these.
Yeah, look at these pictures.
Like, people are making jokes.
Like, that's what they're doing.
But, you know, the creators were taking it seriously and are really offended.
And they took it down.
But it's also, you know, if it was still making money, even if people were making fun of it, they would have kept it up there.
Because they're always saying, like, we're going for this new audience, like modern audiences.
You know, and if it had hit with that audience, like, maybe liberals loved it and they were all buying it and playing it.
But nobody was, even if they agreed with the politics or whatever.
That audience doesn't exist.
It doesn't actually.
Yeah.
The leftist video game audience is not real.
And because of, you know, this games as a service thing and games as subscription services and online only kind of stuff, you know, it's not like you can just leave the game up there for sale forever and maybe someday it'll make its money back.
Like you're really banking on this is going to get a huge player base.
And if you don't have a player base, nobody's going to play the game.
Yeah.
So on some of these pictures, they show the pronouns.
Undecided.
Undecided.
They go so far as to do undecided and they them.
They them, you have they them.
For this weird person with a TV head.
And obviously the buff woman is she, her.
She has a synergy shield, by the way.
That's a metaphor.
Oh my God.
And they're just ugly characters.
And this isn't like a, oh, I need beautiful women in my games.
This is just the art design is terrible.
The art design isn't very good.
Like, what is happening?
There's like a suspension of disbelief thing.
Like, we can have characters that are diverse, aliens, whatever.
I don't care.
It's a sci-fi world.
Yeah.
But like, you have this person who's 400 pounds and obese that's supposed to be charging into battle or something.
And I'm like, that doesn't make sense.
You know?
Like they need to be fit to some degree.
And then how do they hide behind things like crates?
I mean, it's also trying to hide in a cardboard box.
I feel like these kinds of games are the ultimate cloud building where you can build a fantasy world in your mind and you want to try to be someone that you're not.
So like the person you're going to choose, and I always choose, is the fittest, coolest looking character.
I'm like, I want to be the coolest person out there.
And I know.
Like a tall guy.
Like a tall guy with hair.
But you'd never choose, like, I'd never choose a character that like I wouldn't want to be in an alternate universe.
Like I, you know, okay.
I wouldn't want to be 400 pounds.
Like no matter what universe.
I'm okay playing as a different like character or whatever if it's like if there's a crafted narrative that's like, oh, you're, you're this, you know, it's like a teenage girl that's going through this thing and she gets superpowers.
And like there's a written story for that character.
Like it's not a building character.
It's like, it's like reading a novel from the perspective of, you know, Katniss Everdeen and Hungry Angels.
You're like, oh, I got to get inside the mind of someone else and see it.
But it's like if I'm making the character, I agree.
And this is my Dungeons and Dragons philosophy too.
It's like, I want to be a normal guy or like a strong fighter guy.
And I'm going out and encountering this weird alien world.
I don't need to be the weird alien myself.
Yeah.
I want to kill the aliens.
Yeah.
That said, when there's like a create a character option, I usually make the stupidest looking character just to make my kids laugh.
Because then they see this weird.
Like we rented Dreamlight Valley, that Disney sort of Animal Crossing type game.
You can still rent games.
From the library.
Oh.
The local library.
So we rented that.
And you can create your own character.
And they created normal girls.
And then I created this person with green skin who's morbidly obese and has red eyeballs.
And I thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
I mean, that is.
Also known as the main character of Comic.
Yeah.
The one difference is that that's not a pre-generated character that you're trying to sell.
Yeah, no, I agree with you.
I think being able to get into the mind of a different character with a crafted narrative, but increase your own.
Yeah, totally.
But I just kind of, in any kind of scenario, like with DD or anything, I'm always like, I want to be the coolest guy with an axe.
Barbarian with an axe.
That's my go-to.
That's funny.
You too?
Yeah.
Barbarian with an axe.
Yeah, I'm always, my name is always like Boron Nagora Bor.
Yeah.
And I've got an axe.
And I'm a man.
I'm not even an elf.
I don't even like to be a dark elf.
No, in the original DD, you had the classes were like human, magic user.
I think it was fighter, magic user, thief.
I might be wrong on that.
And then elf.
So they're all assumed to be humans and then elf.
And elf.
Those are the races.
Like, it wasn't a diff.
They might have had different.
But even being a Gimla.
No, not in the first one.
There was four, yeah.
Like being a dwarf, like a Gimli, like it's still a little bit of a, I guess.
Yeah, but he's, he's like, he's kind of a barbarian.
That's kind of like humanoid Scottish guy, just a short Scottish guy.
I also play as a woman about 30% of the time.
If I create a character in an RPG.
See, this is where I think this is what's happening.
It's why people are transing.
Because they're playing those guru.
Because they're playing as girls.
That's it.
I think it's getting inside people's minds.
Tomb Raider is single-handedly responsible for transing Americans.
Yeah, that's a good example.
I enjoyed playing Tomb Raider.
Yeah, Tomb Raider was cool because she could do all that cool stuff, though.
Yeah.
And actually, the newer Tomb Raiders, where they kind of made her a little more realistic, you know, she's like, they complained about it because the whole time she's like getting hit and she's like, ah, oh no.
And she's like crying when something happens.
Yeah, she gets beat up in those games.
And I'm like, well, that's kind of realistic.
Like she's kind of human and I actually enjoyed that quite a bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The new games were really good.
Yeah.
I thought they were excellent.
I stopped playing.
It's funny to me, just to jump into Travis's game corner really quick.
Travis's game corner.
It's funny to me when they do the new Tomb Raider survival trilogy is what they call it, I think.
And they're making it all realistic and down to earth in some sense, but then she can still jump farther than an Olympian long jumper, and it's normal.
I just think that's the funniest thing in the world.
There is something, and I might get this concept wrong, but there's a concept that's called like ludological consistency or something, where a lot of games have this disparity where it's like these scenes that are very real and human.
And then the character's like, oh man, I got to go, you know, do this thing.
And then they pull out their giant bazooka and they're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go kill 200 people.
You know, it's just like the Uncharted games are the worst example because they try to really humanize Nathan Drake.
Nathan Drake, yeah.
And then he's like, oh, you know, one person might die.
And he's very worried about it.
And then he goes off with his machine gun, mows down 300 people to get to the next story point.
And you're like, that's a little.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's funny.
And it's really funny in some games, too.
I think the Tomb Raider games had this issue, actually, where they make a big deal about the first time she kills someone.
It's like, oh my gosh, I did it.
I killed someone.
Okay, now to do it 300 times.
All right.
Bam, bam, bam.
I'm over it.
Yeah, this is the training.
This is training.
It's ordinary people.
But once you cross that threshold, you just start getting it.
Yeah, you just go all in, right?
Yeah, that's true.
That's what they say.
Jordan Peterson would agree.
All right, this Australian doctor is getting canceled by the government for sharing Babylon B articles and conservative content.
Dr. Jareth Koch came under investigation by the Medical Board of Australia in 2018 after two people filed anonymous complaints regarding posts he had shared on social media.
Why would they do that?
I don't know.
They learned he was under investigation nine months after the complaints were made.
And the board came through 10 years of his social media content and then hired forensic specialists to scour the internet for what he had written.
And they finally took issue with more than 80 Facebook posts, including ones from Matt Walsh, Ali Beth Stuckey, and Katie Faust.
I guess Babylon B also, while consulting with patients in 2018, he was abruptly notified that he would be immediately suspended from practice in order to protect the public interest.
Oh my God.
This is insane.
Man.
And he's a doctor.
His job isn't to, you know, teach people sweet memes.
He's a doctor.
He's like, please let me put your arm back on.
No, you can't because you shared a Babylon B meme.
It says, including five articles from the Babylon B that he shared.
Yeah.
Wow.
One of my good friends is a surgeon, and he says that the medical complex is so woke right now.
It's like really difficult to be any kind of conservative.
It's a real issue.
And, you know, he's been sent to trainings and stuff because he's been so direct with people.
In fact, he works in OBGYN.
And so they get a lot of trans patients.
And it's like, you shouldn't be here, actually.
Right.
And he's like, you need a urologist.
Like, some guy comes in, you know, he's like, oh, I need my gynecologist.
And he's like, no, you actually need a urologist.
And they're like, how dare you?
Nice.
And he's like, well, you don't have the parts for an OBGYN.
I'm sorry.
So, but he gets in trouble all the time.
He has to really keep his head down.
Good thing he's not in Australia.
Well, and I think we're going that direction.
I think that's the point.
I think that even in the United States, it's going to be difficult to be a doctor.
It's going to be difficult to be anything direction they're going for.
We should have this guy on the beat, by the way.
We should bring him out.
Go back up.
I want to do the five posts that he shared.
Let's read.
Here's the five Babylon Bee stories that he shared.
I think one of them is a little spicy.
Okay.
So I can, you know, I'm just, it's a little spicy, but it's also making a good point.
So this is the first one.
LGT and Q, LGT, QN publicly execute the B for implying there are only two genders.
And it has the B and L G B T Q being executed by a Geezian.
It's a Geezian.
Because it means bisexual.
But yeah, it's pointing out an inconsistency, right?
And then here's Australian citizens ask Taliban to liberate their country.
During the that was during the lockdowns.
Oh, and he commented on that one.
He said, we've made the big time.
He said amen.
Finally, they made a joke about Australia.
I know.
Congressional prayer lasts two days as Democrat includes all 5,787 genders.
Yeah.
I like this guy already.
Yeah, it looks like he actually reads the articles too, which is great.
And he's like quoting the articles.
Yeah.
Instead of traditional warfare, Chinese military will now be trained to shout wrong pronouns at American troops.
He probably likes Brandon's video on that.
One of my favorite things about that article is the Photoshop.
It's very simple, but the very serious, determined Chinese and the American soldier is like, no, can't hear her.
No.
Yeah.
She-her.
It's like psychological war.
Be him.
No.
If you guys haven't seen that video, watch Kyle be that character.
Yeah, it's great.
No, no, stop.
Every time we need a kind of weenie guy.
Yeah.
I mean, I would, that's not.
I think you're just willing to do it.
They're like, oh, Kyle, you're here.
Like, why don't you play this character?
My self-esteem suffers too much to do that.
I don't understand why anybody would look at this and think that I should play it.
I'm not sure.
Yeah.
I would play the weenie.
Describe yourself for the blind listener.
I am wearing a pink bucket hat that has the signature of Fernando Tatis Jr.
And I'm wearing a green shirt that is designed to look like the board game Carcassonne.
Carcassonne.
All right, here's one more.
Nation that kills 3,000 babies a day feels morally superior to slave owners from 200 years ago.
Wow, that's making a great point.
I enjoy it.
That's very funny.
Okay.
It's very funny.
Let's do our banger of the week, huh?
Banger of the week.
All right.
Tim Waltz's dog endorses Trump.
I like that.
So this was built around the fact that Tim Waltz's family endorsed Trump.
I love it.
His whole family endorsed Trump.
It's amazing.
Waltz is for Trump, dude.
They must have awkward Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving.
I was going to say Thanksgiving's must be terrible at this house.
My guess is that he's disowned them.
That would be my guess.
Yeah, that's probably true.
Here's my only issue with this: should that have an apostrophe?
Waltz's?
Like, wouldn't the name like Waltz's be Waltz ES?
Like Waltz-ES?
You know what?
I think you're right.
Because you don't say like the Harris's would be S-E-S.
You don't.
Apostrophe implies possession or contraction, and this is neither.
Maybe they are possessing the concept of for Trump.
This is Waltz's for Trump.
Waltz is.
Not for you.
I am really.
The guy on the left there really looks like Tim Waltz.
Like that's that looks like it could be his brother.
Yeah.
Now, it could be basically a simplification of Waltz is for Trump.
That doesn't make sense.
Nebraska Waltz is for Trump.
Waltz's theory rejected.
Fact check.
This one guy named one guy named Nebraska Walls.
Nebraska Walls is for Trump.
And this whole story has been completely misinterpreted.
I think this is incredible, though.
I love that story so much.
So what's the bomb of the week?
Bomb of the week.
Yeah, bomb of the week.
Americans unanimously agree to vote for whichever candidate stops sending them campaign donation text messages.
I don't think that should have bombed.
I think.
That's pretty good because I've been getting a lot of those.
That's pretty decent.
They are.
It's relatable.
It's relatable.
It's relatable to me.
It's funny.
Yeah, I think it's funny.
Clever, witty, demure.
What a bunch of moron readers, I guess.
Subtle.
Subscribers will get to join us in the subscriber lounge right now.
You can join us, babylonbee.com/slash January 6th.
Check out the trailer, subscribe, or babylonbee.com/slash plans.
And you can join us in the subscriber lounge where we're going to talk about all kinds of spicy subjects that big tech doesn't want you to hear about.