The One That Was Filmed Before Trump Was Convicted
Donald J. Trump was convicted on 34 felony counts, but we didn't know that when we recorded this on Wednesday. Still, we talk about the weird instructions Judge Merchan gave the jury, Hollywood writers blaming audiences for poor box office numbers, and the Pope apologizing for saying there was too much gay stuff in the church. A man tried to become a dog and failed and Kyle got some special salty hate mail. This episode is brought to you by My Patriot Supply: http://preparewithbee.com
The Babylon Bee Podcast Hey guys, welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
I am Jarrett Lamaster and with me is always, not always, but Travis.
Hi.
I wear my hat forwards.
And Dan.
Is that like a total slam?
Oh, sorry.
It's not the flex I think it is, but.
It is a flex.
I'm flexing right now.
Yeah.
It's good to be with you guys.
Good to be with you, too.
This is the only podcast where we talk about the news.
It's the only one.
Where in the world is Kyle right now?
Yeah, you know what?
That's a good question.
And that's why it's time to play the game.
Where in the world is Kyle?
Today's clue is this sign.
What is what in the world?
So it's on the ocean somewhere in a harbor.
And the sign is a picture of a fish with what looks like a needle poking eyes out.
And it says, please poke eyes before disposing of fish carcass.
That is your hint.
Okay, there's got to be some reason why you have to poke the eyes out.
Like somehow they're toxic or they don't.
They're not good for eyes or fish to eat.
It's bad to.
Well, because have you ever eaten a fish eyeball before?
No, but you know who does?
Eskimos.
Really?
Well, they're alive, so it's not toxic.
Yeah, apparently it's a delicacy up there.
Yes, that's right.
Kyle is in Alaska.
With the Eskimos.
With the Eskimos.
I didn't know that.
No, so where is Kyle?
You have to guess.
Just based on this clue.
Well, I know, so I've kind of got an advantage here.
Well, the joke is we all know.
That's why it's a point.
That's a pretty good joke.
It's a great joke.
All right.
Well, write us at podcast at BabylonBee.com.
Let us know where you think Kyle.
Like Carmen San Diego.
What's in the news this week?
Another day, another breaking news story buried.
They'd rather talk about anything else than what's really going on.
It's not because they don't know what's happening.
The media pundits and talking heads just don't want you paying attention.
The real stories, you have to look behind the headlines for them.
You know, the truth is being covered up.
I learned that from the X-Files.
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I'm very interested in this topic because I've been kind of like watching what's happening in the box office this whole episode.
Movies.
Movies.
And fascinating what's been going on.
No one's going to the movies.
Nobody's going to the movies.
And the Hollywood types are kind of mad about it and they're blaming audiences.
Well, of course, that's the best thing to do.
Yeah.
It's like, it's that meme of Seymour Skinner.
Am I out of touch?
No, it's the children who are wrong.
Is it me?
Yeah.
Nah, it's never been me.
Yeah, but the truth is, I'll be honest, Mad Max apparently is a really good movie.
And so the fact that you're a saga.
A Mad Max saga.
I got it wrong.
I actually am.
I'm chalking this one up to advertisement, but I, because I don't think it was advertised well.
Did you, did you go see it?
No.
But nobody did.
Nobody did.
Well, I was busy trying to get home.
It was a crazy weekend.
Well, what did you do last weekend?
Where were you?
We were up at Hume Lake kind of hanging out with the family.
Okay.
And then it was a great weekend.
On the way back, my car started acting funny.
As soon as I was about halfway home, it's about a six-hour drive.
So I ended up spending all this time in Tejon Ranch's.
What do you call those?
The discount stores, the outlet stores.
You know, you can have too much of that.
I just, there's a, you would think that you just can't get enough of outlet stores.
I mean, I don't know.
But for me, I just remember seeing the message come across from you.
You're like, I might not be there on Tuesday.
I'm still working.
I'm still on the journey.
I'm still getting there.
Yeah.
I'm still trying to get home.
I'm like, what happened to this guy?
I had forgotten that you were going on a trip.
So you're like, still on the journey.
I'm like, what journey?
Like a spirit journey?
Yeah, spiritual journey.
I'm going to find my spirit animal.
No, but we ended up, I ended up sending the family home with a really nice Uber driver that was coming down from Sacramento.
So thank God he was on the way.
Sure.
And then he ended up going, taking most of the family.
Liam and I ended up staying buying some shirts at Cotton and then heading down with the tow truck driver, who was this rock and roller man from the 80s.
Like he was like a real rock and roller.
Well, it sounds like you had your own Mad Max saga.
It was a mess.
That's why you didn't have to go see the movie.
That's true.
I actually saw the trailer for Furiosa.
I actually thought it looked pretty good.
Yeah.
I don't see it and go, ah, female protagonist woke.
Yeah, he looks fine.
I agree.
But I just, I just haven't been in a big movie mood lately.
You know, and I love the actress too that plays in Furosa.
I think she's really a tailor joy.
Yes.
I like Chris Hemsworth, even with that weird nose that he put on.
Oh, he's like a prosthetic nose.
Yeah.
The nose plays.
They had to make him ugly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How do we make Chris Hemsworth?
He's too handsome.
So like, here's a nose and a weird beard.
Yeah.
So his nose looks a little bit like my nose, actually.
So the story is that it has the worst opening for Memorial Day weekend in 30 years.
I don't know what came out 30 years ago.
Casper.
Was it Casper?
Casper?
Was that 30 years ago?
Yes.
With Christina Ricci?
Yes.
The answer is Casper.
Casper.
So it performed as good as Casper?
Or?
Well, I guess worse.
I'm sort of blown away that that was 30 years ago.
But also, yeah, but also adjusted for inflation.
You know, I mean, $32 million back then would have been that's, hey, number one at the box office.
This is great.
It did worse than Casper.
Essentially, yeah.
Wow.
Well, that's crazy because apparently from the buzz is that it's a pretty good movie and that the people should see it.
And it wasn't woke in terms of like female protagonists.
Like, you know, but I do think we are a little exhausted with the female protagonist.
Yeah, I think it's going to, it's falling in.
It's collateral damage from the fact that that's what the industry is doing.
Well, and they're making everything like these female protagonists like so invulnerable that it's uninteresting.
And so, you know, it's like Captain Marvel or something like that.
But she doesn't seem on she seems like a pretty vulnerable character.
You know, loses an arm, you know.
Ouch.
Spoilers.
Well, if you saw the first one, you know.
That's yeah, that's fair.
So she has some vulnerabilities, apparently.
Well, like an arm.
Like an arm.
She loses an arm.
Yeah.
Like her arm.
Vulnerable.
That's vulnerable.
That's like a weak point as the missing arm.
Yeah.
So here's a tweet that some writer for Jimmy Fallon put out.
He says, I think it's time to accept that a large part of the movie going public.
Flowerbed.
Yeah.
I can't say those words.
Is lame.
They're lame.
So he's blaming the audience for, and he's talking about a lot of movies are not doing well right now.
There's Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.
Yeah.
There's Furiosa.
Fall Guy, that didn't do well.
And I heard from people like, oh, it's a pretty good movie.
It's not the best, but whatever.
It's a fun action movie.
And still, nobody went and saw it.
Why in the world?
I mean, Ryan Gosling, you would think, would draw people.
Chris Hemsworth.
I was thinking about that on the way in.
It's like all these guys in the Marvel movies drew everybody.
But when they're on their own, do they have the same star power?
That's well, because it was the characters that were drawing people.
It wasn't necessarily the actors.
Yeah, you're with the exception of Robert Dennett Jr., probably.
Yeah.
You think that he's got the star power?
Yeah.
If he was in Furiosa, do you think that people would have gone?
Yes.
I think that if he was Mad Max, people would go see it.
Who is that's true?
Who is the guy that takes the place of Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt now?
Well, I guess, yeah, I guess theoretically that would be the Ryan Gosling type, right?
Or Chris Hemsworth.
Or, well, I think Chris Hemsworth is really funny.
I don't know how well he does with like a straight, with straight drama.
He's done it.
Straight characters.
It's time that we bring back Mel Gibson.
You know, bring him out of retirement for one last go.
One last go.
He's still around.
He's still around.
I saw, you know, I'm, you know, I met Mel.
Should I say that?
I'm naming him.
Well, that's up to you.
He was extremely uninterested in me.
I like this story already.
You know, did he know what the Babylon B was?
He did, actually.
He'd heard of us.
He'd heard of us, but he was very uninterested.
He's like, oh, you're from that B website.
Yeah, there was like B or something.
There was these kids around, and he was way more interested in the kids, which then I thought to myself.
The way you're saying that is.
That sounds weird.
I didn't mean it like that.
So we haven't really quite got to the bottom of why movies are performing so terribly.
But I was reminded of this IGN article that came out a couple days ago before the movie was released.
And they said, Furiosa, why the Mad Max movies don't need Mad Max anymore.
And I'm wondering if that might be a part of this.
It's like they want to push this narrative that we don't need the titular character of the franchise.
All we need is just this bad woman to take the lead.
Sure.
And I think audience is just like, who's Furiosa?
Like, why is there a movie about this character I've never heard of?
Well, it was Charlie Stern's character.
Obviously, we know.
It's from Fury Road, right?
She's the side character in that movie.
She was a side character.
And I didn't remember her name was Furious.
That's what I'm saying.
I think nobody knows that name.
Yeah.
Everyone knows Mad Max.
I wanted to see Tom Hardy play again.
Yeah.
He didn't do enough in the first movie.
He didn't do much.
He just kind of gave a thumbs up at one point.
That's right.
He looked up.
He did this.
Yeah.
And then they waved.
Yeah.
It didn't look very angry, though.
He wasn't mad.
He's more irritable, Max.
Yeah.
I just think it's, I don't think it's the audience's fault.
I don't think it's like we're past the era of going to the movies.
Because like when Dune 2 came out, everyone went to go see that, I think.
It smashed through all these records.
Yeah, so I was going to say, oh, the industry just hasn't recovered since COVID shut everything down still.
And I think that did play a part.
Like it lost momentum.
People were so used to, hey, I'm going to the movies like every month.
Like every week.
And now they're like, well, we got out of that habit.
And I'm going to take something really good to get me out of there.
Trust me.
But you still get Top Gun Maverick did really well.
Like you said, Dune Part 2 did really well.
But again, that was a movie called Maverick about Maverick.
You mean it wasn't Furiosa?
Top Gun, a Rooster Tail.
A Maverick saga.
Yeah, a Maverick saga.
There's no Maverick.
There's no.
Yeah.
You wouldn't.
A Top Gun saga.
It just wouldn't do well.
Yeah, like, I'm not against the idea of them exploring different parts of a Mad Max universe.
But Mad Max movies do not come out that often.
They're not like, oh, we get one a year and we have this time to really explore other areas.
It's more like, oh, George Miller, his last one was what, like six years ago or something?
And it's like, oh, we're finally getting one, but no Mad Max.
It's like, no Mad Max.
What the?
Yeah.
It'd be like Indiana Jones without Indiana Jones.
Yeah.
Or you think, you think like Star Wars, for instance.
They have all these spin-offs.
But it's because all these characters are so well developed.
And over time, people have known, like, people even know Boba Fett.
Boba Fett.
Like, you know, Boba Fett.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so, I don't know.
So you can make a show about it.
Not that it was the best show that they made.
Sure.
But you can make a show about Obi-Wan Kenobi.
You can make a show about this.
You can do it.
Han Solo movie, which didn't do well.
Which, by the way, I like that movie.
I liked that movie too.
Did you?
Yeah.
Oh, that makes me, I'm glad.
Not very many people I know like that.
No, I really like it.
It's fine.
I watched it.
I just couldn't tell you what the plot was.
I don't remember.
It was about Han Solo.
Well, I know that.
Han Solo and the Khaleesi from Game of Thrones.
Okay.
Daenerys Targaryen yeah that was her character name in the Star Wars movie That's right.
That's the only character she ever plays in anything.
Speaking of movies, did you know that the Trump hush money trial is still going on?
No, I did not know that.
Well, they entered closing arguments yesterday, and today the jury has begun deliberations.
They're talking about it right now.
Didn't we have an article about this?
We had several, I think.
But our best article of the week, I think, is about this one.
Well, hold on.
We haven't gotten there yet.
We've gotten there yet.
We'll get there.
So Trump's trial has entered closing arguments, might have a verdict by Friday is the rumor.
So in this case, he's pled not guilty to 34 counts of falsifying business records, a felony.
Well, I don't think it's a felony.
I think it's a misdemeanor.
But if it's attached to other crimes, it's then a felony.
And so that's what's interesting is the news I was reading this morning is that the judge's instructions to the jury were basically like, you don't even need to agree on the other crimes.
Like you get four votes for this crime, four votes for that crime.
They can hit him with a felony for falsifying documents as long as they just kind of agree he did something fishy.
That's interesting because I don't think that's how any criminal case has ever been done.
Yeah, they're getting real fishy with the justices.
Because the whole point is it's supposed to be beyond a reasonable doubt, unanimous.
That's court cases.
That's criminal trials, not civil trials.
Innocent until proven guilty.
I was talking to a girl on the street in Washington, D.C. last week, and I asked her that.
I was like, do you think that Trump should be able to run?
And she said no.
She's like, no, anyone that's under investigation should not be able to run.
And I was like, well, what if the investigation is politically motivated?
And she was like, well, I don't know.
I just don't think we should have anyone that has that.
And I was like, but what about innocent until proven guilty?
He's not been proven guilty of anything.
And she goes, well, it's different for him.
And I said, so for him, it's guilty until proven innocent is what you're saying.
And she was like, no, I don't know.
I don't know.
And so she had no answers.
But that seems to be the case with all of this.
It's guilty until proven innocent in the case of Donald Trump because he upsets the staff's quote.
But just like in your example, I mean, that's kind of how it is with all of them.
They were like, oh, no, no, we really do believe in the rule of law and justice.
And then you break down.
Well, look what you're doing.
Like, it's different.
It's different because it's Trump.
Yeah.
It's different because we might lose power.
Yeah.
It's different because he is new Hitler.
Because he's Nitler.
Nitler.
Yes.
That's, that was my takeaway as well.
Neutler.
Yeah.
So, yeah, as you were saying, falsification records are just a misdemeanor.
And it's only because it's being tied to other crimes or is it like double falsification?
I don't know.
It's kind of a confusing.
If I was the jury, I'd be like, I do not understand these instructions.
Yeah.
The allegation is that he falsified business records that he could cover up payments that were going to, say, Stormy Daniels or whatever.
And it's all being tied into his campaign funds.
Right.
So the allegation is that he broke laws while trying to cover up other things that he was doing.
But what Judge Murchan is basically saying is like, if the jury doesn't agree, he's saying it's like, if you get four votes for one crime, four votes for another crime, four votes for another crime, he'll just count it all as, well, that's unanimous.
He committed a crime.
I vote for this crime.
Yeah.
Sounds like they're really just trying to sink his campaign.
Wait, you think?
Yeah.
How interesting.
He would be like a rock star, though, if he was running a presidential campaign from jail.
Like, wouldn't that be awesome?
It would be like Nelson Mandela.
Yeah.
I don't know about that.
But like, think about like when he had that mug shot that went crazy and like everyone's like, oh man, he looks like a total thug.
Yeah, like he's like thug life.
He's got the tattoos already.
Yeah, you know, part of me like wants him to be found guilty so that he'll go to jail and then still win and pardon himself and just like emerge from this prison cocoon and be like, I'm stronger than ever.
That's right.
Well, hey, if you guys didn't know, switching gears, Biden's peer that, I don't know if you know this, but he built a pier in the Gaza in Gaza.
Oh, yeah.
So he could drop off humanitarian.
Humanitarian aid that they spent something like $320 million.
Is that right?
That's a lot of money for some wood.
You could make like one Marvel movie.
Yeah, it's $320 million to build it and it is washing away.
So this is like typical, like typical government stuff, you know.
They built some.
Did Congress approve that?
They go like, yes, let's build the pier.
Let's vote bill.
I'm going to say he did an executive order.
So $320 million, though, to build a pier.
That seems expensive.
Why do we need a peer, first of all?
And it does seem expensive, $320 million.
I guess they would need a peer because they're not going to be at the border with Egypt.
They're not really letting things go through.
Yeah, but can't you just use the beach?
I mean, like, can't you just kind of put some stuff on a raft on a raft?
Well, like we stormed Normandy.
We can just take things and load them onto the beach and then take them off.
They didn't leave all those transports there.
I've also seen movies where they use parachutes and they just Operation Dumbo Drive.
That's what I was thinking.
Why did you Operation Double Drive with Dennis Leary?
Wasn't he in it?
I don't know, is he?
I thought it was Dennis Leary.
Ray Liota?
Ray Liotta.
Are they both of it?
Maybe.
We should look that up.
Yeah.
If you know, please send your emails to podcast at babylonb.com.
It was Dennis Leary.
Yeah.
So according to this, on May 17th, there were reports that the aid was coming into Gaza because of this pier.
May 21 says that none of the aid was getting to any of the population.
So all the Hamas guys were just stealing everything.
Oh, yeah.
May 25th, it gets damaged in bad weather.
And then May 28th, pieces of the pier have broken off and are floating away.
$10 million pieces of the pier.
So what is that?
Like within a week?
May 17?
Yeah.
Well, probably about 10 days, 11 days.
And we spent $320 million.
So they're saying they have to remove it and repair it elsewhere.
I guess because it's too dangerous for them to do it there.
That looks like a nice beach.
I think it's time to just, you know, let it go.
Guys are just out.
Let it go back out to sea.
$320 million, though.
That's not the common.
That's not a price for a pier.
That's like, we're talking like a hundred grand.
It's more like they got, it sounds like they got Caltrans to do it.
Because everything in Caltrans takes forever.
It's overexpensive.
Like we've been, they've been trying to build, you know, rebuild bridges along the freeway, the undisclosed freeway.
And close to where we are.
Close to where we are.
And it's been several years, years, these bridges are not finished.
You know, they built the Empire State Building in less than a year.
Did they really?
I might.
Fact check me.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll believe you.
I mean, well, they used to do everything quicker.
I mean, part of that, obviously, is safety regulations.
And some safety regulations are good.
Obviously, we don't want people flying off of girders and stuff.
But at some point, you're like, how much taking so long?
My question is, I want to see an itemized budget for that.
$320 million.
You know, it just says pure.
$320 million.
Because the Babylon Bee could have probably used that money.
I'm just saying.
I can't think of a segue.
I was like, speaking of bridges or peers, let's talk about the Pope.
Let's talk about the Pope.
He's not even Italian, but he isn't Italy.
He is in Italy.
Not at all.
We talked about the Pope last week a bit.
And our Catholic friends were not too happy about that.
And we understand.
But this time, Pope Francis has called for gays, that is, homosexuals, to be prevented from becoming seminarians, which sounds pretty normal because it's against, you know, it's against the religion.
Okay.
And the Pope, but the way the Pope said it, he said that there is too much, quote, faggoty.
Oh, boy.
But he used, he used an that's the translation.
So he used an Italian word, which I believe is pronounced Frociagine.
Frociagini.
Frociagini.
Which faggatari translates as faggotry, but it's really, it's not like a slur for them.
It's more like just saying there's too much homosexuality in the seminaries.
And you know what?
Maybe the Pope is right.
Okay, wait.
I don't want to be controversial here, but priests have been celibate for all these years.
Yes.
Maybe I shouldn't even go down this road, but that's, I mean, don't you think that's probably a fairly common?
There are like rumors of like the gay mafia that there is a cohort of gay priests that work their way up through the ranks and then they cover for each other.
And that's that's the rumor anyway.
But wasn't there okay?
So in the worlds that the Catholic Church was in, homosexuality was not accepted forever.
And so you got all these people that were going into the priesthood because there was a legitimate place for them to be celibate.
They could be part of like it's okay for me to be celibate.
No one's going to pressure me.
That's like that was a place for them to land for a long time, I feel like.
I've always assumed that many of those priests were either asexual or homosexual.
I don't know.
Boy, that's going to be, we're going to get some comments about that.
It's okay.
Well, it's okay because the Pope said it.
The Pope said it, and he's right, right?
Yeah.
He's always right.
Wow.
He's always right.
Only when he's speaking ex-cathedra.
Well, he would know more about priests than we would.
I mean, I don't know.
Yeah.
He probably knows more of them than we do.
I guess speaking of faggotry in the church.
No.
This LifeSight News has reported male drag artist dances for kids at Vatican's World Children's Day.
So this came out like the same week that he said this.
And it's like, well, I mean, granted, that's not a seminary.
Maybe he's okay with it, but clearly something's trying to infect.
So reject that culture.
So he's obviously admitting that he thinks that homosexuality is wrong on one hand.
And then on the other hand, he's going, nah, nah, it's cool.
Isn't he saying it?
Well, he's blessing people who happen to be gay, I think, technically.
But it's coming off as like, it's coming off as, oh, you're just blessing gay marriages.
Don't do that.
Well, how is that different?
What do you mean, different?
Happen to be gay versus gay marriage.
So he clarified later and he was saying that he authorized the priest to bless the individuals who are in these relationships, but not to bless the union.
Oh, so it's like a like post post-marriage, like these guys are already in a marriage.
They're already living together.
They're already doing.
We're going to bless.
Frochia Gine.
That's it.
Thank you.
That's a pronunciation.
We're already doing that.
And then the Pope authorized the church to bless the individual person who is committing that act, I guess.
He apologized.
Does that clarify it at all?
I don't know.
I mean, it does a little, but I mean, it also, but the doctrine related to blessings and stuff, like, I guess that they have some sort of power is like, oh, well, you can't deprive me of that blessing.
I need that.
And it's like, I understand that in that case, but also he's just, I don't know.
So blessing doesn't mean affirming.
In their eyes, it doesn't.
Oh, that's interesting.
I did not.
I'm assuming because they're still blessing.
Because every time they ask the Pope to clarify, he does say, no, I can't bless homosexual unions because that's up to God and the church.
And they don't let me do that.
I can't do that as the Pope even.
I can't bless that.
So it's interesting to me, like how woke the Pope is on other issues where it comes to climate change or open borders or socialism and workers' rights and things like that.
But then when it comes to things like gay marriage, he's like, no homo.
So weird.
Well, you know, no faggotry.
Good for him.
You don't have to bleep that out.
That's so funny, probably.
Oh, wow.
I'm singing like the Pope is really based now.
I'm like, oh, man, that's great.
Good for him.
And then he apologized.
Oh.
Wait, he apologized for that statement.
He apologized for saying the word Frochia Gine.
Fro Cia Gin.
You don't have to.
Are we going to have to apologize for that?
I'm not going to.
Not if we.
Officially apologize for saying the word Frocio Gene.
Yeah, so that's the pope news this week.
Oh man, I love talking about the pope.
Why were they mad at you last week?
Um, I don't remember, what were we talking about?
We talked about the pope last week, and we did.
We talked about oh yeah, all the papists got angry.
Well, what did we talk about?
Why did we talk about the pope?
I don't remember.
Oh, because he said, um, Most people are basically good.
That's why in the heart.
The heart is good.
There's some rogues and sinners, but the heart is basically good.
And we're like, no.
I did see a fact check on that, a community note that said he didn't say that there are some rogues and sinners.
He said we're all a little bit rogues and sinners.
But I'm like, in my mind, that doesn't make it any better.
It's like, we're mostly good.
We're a little bit sinners, but we're mostly good.
That's just Pelagianism.
It's Pelagian.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a heresy that was even before the Protestant Revolution.
That was the Reformation.
That was something that we had agreed on.
You know what I'm saying?
Pelagianism, we agreed was wrong.
Right.
Long before Luther comes along.
Well, speaking of Froggiogine.
Oh, no.
The librarian.
The librarian.
The Libertarian.
The Libertarian Convention.
I do.
The Libertarian Convention nominated their presidential, the presidential candidate and booed Donald J. Trump.
This is very interesting.
So Trump actually showed up to the convention.
Oh, did he?
Yeah.
He showed up and he kind of gave a little speech and he's like, hey, you should nominate me and the old boo.
And he's like, you can lose.
It was so good.
It was like, go ahead, get your 3% every four years.
Losers, you know?
Yeah.
Losers.
He also promised to pardon Ross Ulbricht, something libertarians advocate.
Who is Ross Ulbricht?
Ross created the Silk Road.
It was just a website that was kind of like the ultimate free market.
You can go on there and just buy, sell, do whatever you want.
But then obviously the catch with that is that people can go on there and do illegal things.
Oh.
And so he got in trouble for that.
I heard the Silk Road was actually a hotbed for human trafficking.
Oh, that doesn't sound like a good thing.
I'm sorry, that could be a, no, that doesn't sound like a good thing.
I mean, obviously that's what they went after him for.
It's like drugs, allegations of things like that.
So there's probably not so good things on there, probably.
Yeah, like, I think it's funny that he would promise to pardon him and not like Edward Snowden or Julian Assange, where he's not tied to some weird shady thing.
Yeah.
Because the Silk Road sounds kind of weird.
The Silk Road sounds...
Well, Silk Road isn't that kind of a reference to the opening of the Chinese...
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the trade route.
Yeah.
The trade route.
Yeah, we actually talked to Ross's.
We talked to Ross's mom on the podcast a long time ago, and it kind of just sounded like he's just this well-intentioned idealist.
You know, like, I just want to make the world a better place.
And I think that free markets are the way to go about that.
And so he kind of just, you know, as a young idealist, that's what he created was I'm going to make this website where everyone can freely buy and trade.
And like, I think that's what's good for humanity.
So like, I don't agree with his ideology fully.
Sure.
But I can see like how in his mind he thought he was doing something.
I could buy that.
Yeah, certainly.
And I think they threw the book at him.
They sentenced him to like 200 years in prison or something.
Wow.
So I think that's why in libertarian circles, it's a big rallying thing of like, why is he rotting in prison when who threw the book at him?
Who was it?
That really were his prosecutors.
I don't know.
I don't know where he was prosecutors.
I guess I don't know much about that.
It's like a bunch of federal laws, I'm sure.
The federal court.
The feds.
The feds got him.
Yeah, the feds have a lot of people in prison that shouldn't be in prison.
Yeah.
I was seeing a lot of comments from libertarians online where they were criticizing Trump for pandering.
It's like, oh, you're just coming here after you were president for four years and now you're promising to pardon this guy.
And it's like, well, yeah, he's trying to become president.
He wants your vote.
That's how politics works.
Yeah.
And we had a Babylon B headline that Donald Trump was booed at the Libertarian Convention for wearing deodorant.
Yeah.
So I guess a quote from it was, boo, he smells good, boo, screamed Libertarian Party member Joanna Ludkvist.
It's very pleasant smelling and I don't like it, boo.
When all these reports about the convention were going on, I told my wife, like, oh, the libertarians met and Trump showed up and he's like, oh, the first thing she said, oh, did everyone keep their clothes on this year?
Wow.
Because I guess like in the past, they've had a problem with that.
At the Libertarians.
Yeah, like there's a guy that just stripped down and just ran across the stage.
Free market.
It's a free market, free.
Everyone's being free.
Yeah.
And the libertarian candidate, Chase Oliver, is actually left.
He's a left-leaning libertarian, pro-Drag Queen Story Hour.
So that's who they nominated.
It's pro-trans, pro-BLM, and that's who they have nominated.
It's a left-leaning at lefty, like a total lefty.
So it's funny, they didn't even nominate Robert Kennedy Jr.
I thought he would probably get it.
Yeah.
Yeah, there was a movement.
They tried to get him to, I think he only got a handful of votes.
Trump got a few votes.
But this guy.
But Chase Oliver, he's the one.
And I think this has been a divisive pick.
I think the libertarians are going to split over this one.
You think so?
Well, I think there's right-leaning libertarians.
Like in the party, some of our friends who've been on the podcast before, they're connected to the Mises Institute, and there's a Mises caucus that's working in the Libertarian Party to try to take it over and make it more of a, you know, culturally right kind of party, which I think people like Ron Paul or, you know, that kind of, that kind of libertarian.
And I think there's the other side of the party is not that.
And clearly they're the ones that won in getting their guy picked this year.
Yeah, it's such an interesting concept to kind of make government extremely small because then people do have the, they have the freedom to be hedonists, you know, at the, on the one side.
And on the other side, they have the, you know, the government isn't interfering with their gun control or whatever it is.
Yeah.
So, you know, it's a weird catch-22.
You kind of get both sides of the thing.
You can fall off the log either way, probably.
So, man, kind of weird.
It's a weird thing.
Speaking of falling off a log, did you know that Pixar just laid off a bunch of people?
Sad.
Oh, that's sad.
Yeah.
Because some people were probably pretty cool.
I don't know them.
But Pixar has kind of been going downhill of late.
What are the last movies that Pixar has done?
Because I don't think I've been to a single one.
Elemental?
Elemental 2.
I don't think there's an elemental 2.
Inside Out 2 they're making right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
It's not Elemental 2.
But it's such a weird, I don't know, like looking at the box office and kind of, because the other side of the distribution coin is that even if they don't do well in the box office, they can do well on VOD and like downloads and things like that.
So they might be, I don't know.
At the end of the day, they might still be making enough money to support these people.
Yeah, but I mean, they still had layoffs and you would think they would be above that because they've been so successful in the past.
Well, I think it's the sign of the times, too.
We always talk about you go woke, you go broke.
And that's probably what's happening with that.
People aren't buying because it's for kids.
They're not making movies like Toy Story or Monsters Inc anymore.
It's, you know, it's always got some kind of agenda or something they want to push, it seems like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe, maybe that's undeserved.
Maybe I just don't know.
But like when I look at movies nowadays, it's like, I'm not taking my daughter to go see that.
Yeah.
And well, I think there's a fear too.
Like they could come out with a movie that's like Inside Out 2 could be totally fine.
Yeah.
But I'm going to be like, oh, I'm not going to see that.
I don't know.
They might be, you know, I'm just a little nervous about what the content might be.
It's the same thing you were talking about.
It's like PTSD from watching all the kind of like female protagonist movies where they don't have any vulnerabilities.
It's like, I don't want to see another one like that.
So let's start telling real stories and then we can maybe trust you at the box office.
We'll put our money out.
Yeah.
That's what I think.
Speaking of money.
Yeah.
Dan.
I love this story so strong transition.
We've got some animal news this week.
There's a man who spent $14,000 to become a collie of the dog.
Money well spent.
And he changed his mind, though, after realizing that it's very difficult to walk like a dog.
I like how he had this desire, but he just didn't think it through.
He didn't count the cost.
You make it sound so casual, though, like, you know, this is kind of hard to do.
Yeah.
I think after walking like a dog for some time.
A picture of my human body is not intended to walk like a dog.
It's almost like he wasn't born with four legs.
He was born with two.
Most likely.
Yeah.
Unless he only has one.
So if he went by the dog name of Toko, I guess Toko could not even pass his agility test.
So Travis, I don't think you've seen this.
No.
Oh, have you seen this?
No, no, I can't wait.
Oh, I don't want to see this.
Watching.
Oh, it's horrifying.
Honestly, watching humans.
Oh, my gosh.
This is so good.
So there's Toko.
Oh, he looks like he's a monster.
What in the I mean, a normal, he must have a bad back.
There's a full video I can click here.
Like a normal person could potentially.
This is horrifying.
Yes, I don't like this.
So for our audio-only listeners, we're looking at a man in a dog suit and he's walking on all fours.
But it just looks like this weird.
It just looks like an obviously fake dog man.
Oh, it's horrifying.
It is like, it's a bit like a horror movie.
It is, yes.
You watch, it's a bit like a Japanese horror movie where somebody was kidnapped and they were forced to become a dog.
I like how that dog is like, you're not a dog.
Yeah.
They're like, oh my gosh, look at his legs.
Look at his back legs.
Are you seeing this?
That's why he's having a hard time.
So now he's trying to jump over a pole.
It's like a dog show agility test.
They trapped his back legs.
I'm guessing.
He's going to jump.
Oh, he's walking on his knees in the back.
That is so weird.
Yeah.
So he hit the pole.
It was at this moment that he realized I made a big mistake.
This was a bad idea to strap my feet to my butt.
That is awful.
So wait, now what's he jumping?
Do you guys remember that movie?
There was a movie called I think it's called Tusk.
Yeah.
I've never seen it.
I was kind of horrified.
No, I know.
I had it described to me and I didn't want to watch it.
Yeah.
So, yeah, Kevin Smith directed a horror movie where a man gets basically turned into a walrus.
How is he using his feet?
This is so weird.
Where are his legs?
Yeah.
So basically, no matter what obstacle he's going around, he's failing every single one.
And he's going about a minute, a mile an hour.
Like literally, he can't go faster.
Yeah.
Now, this one, he's doing like a slalom, so to speak, just going in and out.
So no jumping, but he can't bend.
So he's hitting all of the poles.
It's just sad.
I just like to think that in his mind, he was totally gung-ho.
And then he did this test and he's like, I guess I can't.
I can't be a collie after all.
I thought I could.
I thought I could do it.
You can see his arms folding like a person's arms.
And so he's obviously got human-length arms like his feet are somehow tied to his butt.
I think it's walking on his knees.
So he's like on his knees on the back and then on his hands in the front.
So my question is, what drives somebody to do something like this?
Like what is behind the desire to become a dog?
A mental disorder, obviously, Dan.
Well, I know, obviously, but I'm just, I just don't know.
I just don't get it.
Yeah.
But you mean like, why a dog?
Why not something else?
Well, no, not even that.
I'm just wondering what's what's behind this idea.
Like, I don't know, I want to escape being human.
I think there's radical escapism in all these things that we talk about.
I think it's insane that people do this.
Well, sorry, Toko.
Sorry, you didn't pass the agility test.
I hope you're a normal person now.
Hey, Travis.
Yeah.
Are you ready to get hype?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if you've seen this or not.
How do I get hype?
There is a new product coming out, and I want to share it with you.
What is it?
So do you like Legos?
Yeah.
Boy, do I. Do you like Legend of Zelda?
Absolutely.
Well, there is now the Legend of Zelda two-in-one Lego set.
It's a Deku tree where you can build both the N64 version and the Breath of the Wild version.
That looks awesome.
Wow, I'd love to get that.
I just built it with my daughter.
You know, like, probably, it's got to be like, what, 30 bucks?
No, that one's probably about 100.
Well, let's see if I can click a link here.
Maybe it'll have some description.
Here we go.
Lego.com.
Let's see what the price is.
Great Daeku.
The great Daeku tree.
Whoa.
It's only $299, Travis.
$299.
My son Owen is on Lego Ideas.
It's a website and he builds his own ideas and they're actually really cool.
But he said that the Lego Ideas website has now, they're very excited about Pride Month.
So there's a bunch of gay sets that they've done.
Interesting.
There's no pride flag on this Decule.
Pushing to the premium product.
It's a premium product.
You don't have to have the Pride stuff.
But I like how this is marketed.
It's billed.
It's billed as 2,500 pieces, and it's for ages 18 plus.
18 plus.
Huh.
It's like, it's not for kids.
It's not for teenagers.
You got to be an adult.
Lego has lost its way.
Yeah.
I mean, I like Legos, but like, come on.
They're pieces of plastic.
Well, the Lego Technic sets, is that right?
The ones where you're doing like a real Lamborghini with like a working engine, like our kids, my kids do that, and they're fascinating.
My kids have more Legos than any kid I've ever heard of.
And we have an entire room basically dedicated to Legos.
And they get Legos at every birthday party.
So we are surrounded by Legos.
And I'm always amazed at the detail with which Lego puts into these things now.
And it's so smooth on the outside.
They're obviously making these with computers.
Like, you know, it used to be like some guy in a room building something with like, here's some bricks.
Now it's like, you know, obviously they're shaving off all the sides and making all these different things.
They can, anyway.
Lego is, it's a fascinating toy, but they're so woke.
Yeah.
And there's, there doesn't really seem to be a these days, there's not like a huge variety of like, oh, I'll just get the cheaper sets or whatever.
That's just everything.
If a cheaper set is like 20 bucks and it's like this big For our audio only listeners, I'm holding up my hands and it's smaller than a DVD case.
I miss the old days where they had like the medieval sets, you could build a giant castle, the pirates, like they had all these different settings you could go to as a kid and explore with your imagination.
And now it's all branded stuff.
Like it's all Star Wars Legos or Pride Month Legos.
You can't just get like a generic spaceship.
It's a generic spaceship inspired by the movie The Lego movie.
Yeah.
Right.
1980 spaceship.
That's right.
That's right.
Banger of the week.
The article that did the most shares during the week.
Judge instructs jurors they need not believe Trump is guilty to convict him.
Seems like a fulfilled prophecy already.
Yes.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
Was that within a week?
Did we write that after?
No, no.
This is from May 28.
So we actually wrote this and then the judge did say almost exactly that.
Yeah.
He's like, you don't need to really be unanimous on the crime.
Just sort of in the ballpark.
Maybe if a couple of you think that that's crazy.
Yeah.
It kind of sounds like it's probably pretty open and shut that he probably falsified some kind of paperwork somewhere.
But they're trying to tie it to these bigger crimes that would make it a felony.
And so it sounds like the judge basically told him today, like, you don't have to agree on what those crimes are.
That's just so amazing.
Like, what is the precedent for that?
Like, or what will that make of our legal system going forward?
Right.
I think it'll, if he gets convicted, I think it'll get overturned so fast.
I think he'll appeal like crazy.
Yeah.
And it'll be an easy case because of things like this.
I just, I feel like they don't, they're not thinking about how they're ruining the justice system or the voting system.
They're doing all these things without thinking.
They do it all the time, too.
Like, remember when they got rid of something about the filibuster rule?
Right.
And Republicans were like, this is, you're basically going to the nuclear option and this is, you're going to end up paying for this.
Yeah.
You're going to regret it.
And then they did it anyway.
And now Republicans stonewall them all the time because the filibuster rule changed.
So.
Yeah.
We're going to use this.
Yeah.
I don't.
Yeah.
It's just a crazy thing.
Seems like, remember that you get marshmallows?
You can either get two marshmallows in 30 minutes or one marshmallow right now.
Oh, the yeah, it's like that study.
Yes.
The study.
It seems like all the people on the left are the one marshmallow right now people.
And all the people on the right are the two marshmallows later.
Do you have marshmallows on you?
I wish.
No.
Oh.
I'm sort of a one marshmallow now guy.
But I'm also conservative.
I kind of want some marshmallows.
Yeah, I do too.
You know what I'd really like?
S'mores?
Marshmallow Mays.
Marshmallow.
Yeah, it does.
Wait, what?
It's Lucky Charms.
It's an Hoff brand.
Lucky Charms.
They're the best.
There's t-shirts.
T-shirts.
Yeah.
You can get a Marshmallow Matie's t-shirt.
Bomb of the week.
Well, our bomb of the week, this is the article that didn't get as many clicks.
Major League Cricket introduces pitch clock in an attempt to reduce average game time to seven days.
It's just so.
I'm willing to bet it's, yeah, it's niche.
It's like cricket.
Yeah.
What?
That's for all of our British followers.
I bet you Kyle was at a baseball game and he was just like in his, sitting in his seat.
He's got his hot dog.
He's watching the game.
He's like, you know what really grinds my gears?
The pitch clock rule.
But I do like that idea, though, because I've watched a little bit of cricket just because it's on.
I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to understand this game.
And then I never do because you can't understand cricket.
I don't think even the players who play it understand it.
It's like playing bridge.
Yeah, but they drag.
Those games do drag.
So I do like the idea of them introducing a pitch clock meant to speed it up, but it's still only seven days.
I think it's interesting because cricket was invented by people with all kinds of time.
Like they had no, they had nothing but time.
They must have, it was like by the aristocracy in England when they literally had nothing to do.
They were just sitting around on their like butts.
Yeah.
Enlightenment invented every sport.
Yeah.
Except for business.
Not baseball, America.
Baseball.
And football.
Well, they had rugby in England.
Yeah, I guess we kind of like a bunch of rich people in England that had all this time on their hands.
Like, you know what, we need sports.
It was the kings.
Yeah.
No, it's true because they didn't have anything to do.
They're like, well, I get 10,000 pounds a year.
What am I going to do with my time?
Rugby.
I'm going to manage that village and play cricket.
Yeah.
That's for you, Pier Tej.
So we have a new thing.
Yeah, it's time for one week ago.
We debuted a brand new segment called Red Lobster Facts, which is in no way affiliated with Sizzler Facts.
It's a coincidence.
So today's Red Lobster Fact says that Red Lobster was founded by Bill Darden and Charles Woodsby in 1968, an hour south of Orlando, Florida, and was originally billed as the harbor for seafood lovers.
Then in 1970, General Mills, the company known for Weedies and Cheerios, acquired Red Lobster with its five locations.
The chain rapidly expanded to 372 restaurants by 1985, becoming the first national seafood distribution system in America.
This has been Red Lobster Facts.
Wow.
That's a great story.
I'm not sure we're going to be able to tell the story.
Yes.
I'm just saying, I'm not sure we're going to be able to top what we did with Sizzler Facts.
I'm waiting to see.
Do you think we can do a Red Lobster video?
I don't think.
Is there going to be the same passion behind?
Red Lobster Facts is just a gleam in our eye right now.
It's a twinkle in our eye.
We don't know what it will become.
Yeah, but it's hard to heights.
We do not know what it will be, but in the twinkling of an eye, it will be changed.
Hey, but it's the second week of Red Lobster Facts, and we already have Red Lobster Mail.
Wow, that was fast.
So we got a mail from Sam.
He emailed us, and he says, my favorite Red Lobster memory was that we were too poor to ever go to Red Lobster.
Sam.
That's a great email, Sam.
Thanks for sending that to us.
All right.
Do you have mail for Red Lobster Facts?
Email it to us at podcast at BabylonB.com.
Yeah.
Or if you have any questions or comments, we just won't care unless they're about Red Lobster.
Yeah.
All right.
So I guess we're going to like, there's a new section too.
We're going to talk about what we like.
It's like a fight club between two things.
That's the idea.
I thought we agreed it was a thunder club.
Is it Thunderdome?
The Thunderdome.
No, that's already taken.
The Masta Blasta.
You guys don't remember that?
No.
It's from Thunderdome.
Gladiator 2.
How about the Coliseum?
Yeah.
I call it as I See Him.
Whoa.
I did not see that.
Write to us at podcastofbabylonbee.com if you know what the name of this segment should be.
All right.
So Fight Club.
So this week it's two things enter, one leaves.
One leaves.
Which is not the rule of fight club.
The rules of this problem with the name.
That was the rule of.
The rule of fight club is you don't talk about it.
Right.
So this week, that's true.
This week, it's The Chronicles of Narnia and The Hobbit.
They both enter into this room.
One of them will murder the other and then they'll leave.
So you're not picking your favorite.
You're picking which one dies.
Which one dies?
Yeah.
Now, if The Hobbit is it, it's not connected to the rest of The Lord of the Rings then.
It's only The Hobbit.
Just the Honni.
The Chronicles of Narnia.
Oh.
Yeah, but The Chronicles of Narnia is like, how many books is it?
Seven?
Seven or seven books.
Seven.
So that's the entire franchise.
It's just bigger.
It's got a lot more reach.
It's probably got that extension.
So we are borrowing one rule from Fight Club, the third rule, which is if it's your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
So that means you go first.
It's been a long time since I've seen Fight Club, man.
I want to get back in there.
Yeah, it's very good.
Okay, well, yeah.
All right.
So I think it's easy for me.
I have an easy answer.
Okay.
The Chronicles of Narnia is going to win.
The Hobbit dies.
Oh, sad.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, Hobbit.
When I was a kid, I just liked Aslan more than I liked Bilbo Baggins.
I mean, that's fair.
And also, it's shorter.
And there's The Lord of the Rings, so you don't have to really worry about the world going away.
If you cancel The Chronicles of Narnia, then Narnia leaves, right?
I think that's a fair point.
Yeah.
I'll allow it.
So Middle-earth, standalone fantasy world.
You don't want to eliminate the entire world is what you're saying.
Yeah.
So like if you were to say, you know, maybe compare The Hobbit to the first book of the series or A Horse and His Boy or something like that.
Yeah, just A Horse and His Boy.
Then I would say get rid of The Horse and His Boy, probably.
Sure.
But I would, but.
What if we made it a straight fight between The Hobbit and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?
Oh, boy, that's a tough one.
I would probably say The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe would win.
Yeah.
Well, what do you think, Dan?
Yeah.
What do you think?
I have always had a very difficult time getting into The Chronicles of Narnia.
And I've read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
And I've read, is it The Professor?
No.
What's the first one?
Well, it's not the first one, but the one where they go back and talk about the creation of everything.
Yeah.
I was trying to think of the name of it too.
Magician's Nephew.
The Magician's Nephew.
So I've read that.
I've never been able to really get into the other books.
And maybe that's just a moral flaw in my character.
No.
Well, it's not.
Did you start them too late too?
Like, you didn't get them?
I probably read The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe when I was like 17.
Yeah, because they are more kids' books.
Not that you can't enjoy them, but certainly the writing is simpler and there's talking beavers, you know.
Nobody likes that.
No.
No adults like talking beavers.
So Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
If you read that one, I actually really like The Magician's Nephew.
If you skip The Horse and His Boy and just go straight to the other ones, like Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and then finish out the series, it's great.
What's so bad about The Horse and His Boy?
I just think get this.
There's a horse and a boy.
And a boy.
Yeah.
It's a deviation.
I just think it's sort of like off the path.
Yeah.
It's sort of a, I mean, it comes back around obviously the, is it like, it's, Is it like A Horse and His Boy, a Chronicles of Narnia tale?
It is.
It's a little bit like, it's like trying to tell The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe without, like, Peter, like without King Peter.
Uriosa, a Narnia saga.
It's so true.
It's a Narnia saga.
And it's about this horse named Bree as a war horse.
And I'm just like, eh.
So you're going with Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
I would probably pick The Hobbit just because I can't get into Chronicles of Narnia.
No.
It's a little too wacky for me.
Like it just feels like it was just like, oh, there's Santa Claus and oh, that lion's talking and oh, that beaver over there.
And there's all these mythological things from all different types of mythology coming together.
Yeah.
And I love that Tolkien just made this world where it's just cohesive and all these things seem like they fit and they have a history there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think for me, it's difficult.
It's not like just instantly reflex.
Oh, obviously this one.
But certainly if we're talking about all of the Chronicles of Narnia, I would kind of play sort of, I would met a game and just be like, oh, well, I don't want that entire franchise to disappear.
I'll sacrifice Hobbit to save the others.
But yeah, one-to-one, Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe versus The Hobbit, I probably would stick with The Hobbit.
I was talking to my son about this this weekend because you have a fight club with your son?
Well, we were discussing, he had started to read The Lord of the Rings on his own, and he's a really good storyteller.
And so I was kind of talking to him about JR Tolkien's prose because Owen was over there laughing out loud.
Like I could, he was reading and laughing out loud as he was reading.
And I was like, he's so good.
And I think that Tolkien, gosh, I don't want to be a heretic, but I think Tolkien, his prose was better.
You know, his metaphors were better.
I think Lewis was a great writer.
And if you read something like George McDonald, you really get a sense of where he came from as a writer because there's all these asides to the kids.
I mean, Tolkien does that too, but there's just sort of a, I just like his, I mean, his beauty, the beauty of the prose is, is so much better.
It flows really well.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
And I think Lewis is a great storyteller.
He's got great metaphors and allegories, but yeah, that's my thought.
C.S. Lewis or the Chronicles is probably easier to get into if you're not like a, well, I really want like a thick fantasy adventure because, you know, Santa Claus and stuff, there's more relatable things.
There's a real world and then Narnia.
So it probably just depends a little bit on what you personally can handle.
Yeah.
And maybe it's a personal taste.
Yeah.
I think it's a taste issue.
I mean, you're right.
I mean, even in his adult stuff, like that hideous strength, he brings Merlin in.
It's like, what?
Yeah, like, what's he doing there?
Like, what?
And it's the reason why Kyle hates that hideous strength.
But I love, I had a real penchant for that stuff.
I don't know.
I loved all of his stuff.
So I don't know.
Really got into it.
I definitely need to read more C.S. Lewis.
I haven't read enough.
But I did like Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
I thought it was good.
I really like that we're talking about Lewis and Tolkien now.
Like we're still talking about this.
Like this is something we bring up.
It's a testament to their long-lasting ability.
And especially us as we've talked about this a lot.
Oh, sure.
I just think it's like.
Well, long-lasting until today because we just murdered the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
It is now gone.
And now The Hobbit leaves.
Okay.
The Hobbit goes to visit Tom Bombadil.
Oh, yeah.
Tom Bombadil is not my favorite kitchen.
Well, he's not in a Hobbit.
So two to one.
Who is he?
Two to one.
Two to one.
Sorry, Aslan.
Aslan.
Well, now I feel bad because Aslan is just Jesus.
Oh, no.
No.
You killed Aslan.
You killed him on a table.
Oh, no.
Hey, you want to, let's check in with Community Notes, see how they're doing.
Yeah.
Okay.
What were you doing, Community Notes?
So there was a Twitter post, or I'm sorry, an X post from the City News of Vancouver.
And it says, May 27 marks a grim anniversary.
Three years ago, Monday, hundreds of unmarked graves were discovered at a residential school site in Kamloops, and that's in Canada.
Did you remember that controversy?
I do remember this.
Sad, right?
That's kind of what started the whole burning down all the churches, right?
They were all upset with mass graves and stuff.
Yeah, the assumption was that somehow the Catholic Church had murdered a bunch of kids.
Oh, yeah.
Like essentially Inuits or Eskimos.
Inuits.
Yeah, they were like Eskimos.
So what did community notes say about it, Jared?
Readers added context when they read it so that they thought people might want to know.
They discovered that no remains have been recovered, nor have any graves been identified at this time.
Like zero.
So they discovered that the story get picked up then.
So they discovered all these graves, and then it turns out they weren't graves.
This is wild to me because so you have a news report that we were, hey, we found all these mass graves, and then for three years, they're burning down all these churches all over the country.
And they have an article three years later on the anniversary.
Like, this is when we found all those graves three years later, retrospective.
And then the community note comes in and says the first story wasn't true.
Yeah.
So what you're doing, a retrospective on something that you did before that was fake.
But this is also a problem with Canada's news right now.
Canada's news is like it's monolithic.
There's only one story being told.
It's the government and they're trying to push a narrative.
And there's no, you can't have any other voices in Canada right now.
So literally, it's illegal.
Yeah.
Canadians, you probably can't even listen to this.
I don't know.
So my question would be: what did they find?
Like, did they find like an old graveyard, but it was just a graveyard?
You know, because churches had those.
And they're just like, oh, no.
I have no idea what they found.
It just makes me think about it.
I did.
I feel like I knew at one point, but it wasn't graves.
So no remains and no graves.
Right.
Cool.
So what was it?
Oh, what if it's like a vast cover-up?
Like they found like a time machine.
Like, oh, just say it was graves.
I like that.
I mean, hey.
We can't let the people know.
Somebody write that story.
That's a great story.
All right.
Community notes was busy this week.
We also have a story from Elizabeth Warren.
Oh, speaking of Native Americans, Indians.
Elizabeth Warren tweeted out, or sorry, she X'd out the Israeli bombing of a refugee camp inside a designated safe zone is horrific.
Israel has a duty to protect innocent civilians and Palestinians seeking shelter in Rafah having nowhere else safe to go.
And so she's going on and on.
It keeps going.
Yeah, who's the salt of Rafa must stop?
Yeah.
So, I mean, that sounds bad.
I wouldn't want to bomb a refugee camp.
It has a sign that says refugees here.
Well, and yeah, in most cases, the IDF is like, hey, we might bomb this area and you guys plug it out.
But apparently, community notes had something to say.
This year, Senator Warren voted to supply Israel with $3.8 billion of weapons and defund the UN's aid organization for Gaza.
Based.
She's playing both sides.
It seems like a political thing.
Wow.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Well, moving on, we have Hate Mail.
Oh, that's my favorite part of the podcast.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
This is a special edition of Hate Mail.
Oh, cool.
This is a little bit more salty, a little bit more vinegary.
It's related to Kyle's tweet.
Ooh, saltier than normal.
Let's look at what Kyle tweeted then.
So, Kyle tweeted out, they did a study and found that anyone who likes this flavor is a psychopath, and it's the Lays salt and vinegar chips.
So, pretty good joke, right?
He's just like, I don't like these chips.
It's just a joke, yeah.
I don't like these chips, and I'm going to make fun of people who do, right?
Yeah, and so then this guy replies, says the guy who supports Israel.
I don't know, I don't know what that means.
Yeah, what a strange concept.
Is he saying that people that support Israel are psychopaths?
Um, I guess that's what he's trying to say.
That's what he's trying to say.
I would also say Kyle has the palate of a seven-year-old.
That's true, he doesn't like weird food, he likes basically like you know, hamburgers and French fries and apples.
Like a real American.
But do you like salt and vinegar chips?
I love them, yeah.
Dan, in fact, it's making me realize that.
Are you going to go on the record right now to say that you like salt and vinegar chips?
I don't like them, but I also don't think they're weird.
I kind of get people like those that pickled vinegary flavor in different things.
I get it, it's not my thing.
I used to hate them, but then I developed a taste for them, and I don't know how.
See, but that's what happens when you grow into adulthood.
Oh, yeah, so people get past their childhood tastes.
Some people, I can see how people might like them.
I just myself have not developed that.
It's very, very political of you.
Okay, so Jared and I are psychopaths.
I guess so.
We've grown into psychopaths, and you probably support Israel.
I do kind of.
We got some more replies here.
So, New Minorian Blacksmith tweeted out rare Kyle Mann L. Very sad.
L stands for loss.
Lost.
And it looks like somebody actually took the time to email Kyle.
Oh.
And this email says, That's why Elon Musk answered you and endorsed salt and vinegar chips, you dumb flower bed to wake you up to your unfunny mistake.
You aren't a funny publication.
Every headline is a watered-down knockoff of the onion.
These people are getting strong reactions about.
I think that guy needs to go through the onion and show us how every single one of our headlines is just a watered-down onion.
It's like a one-to-one thing.
We read the onion in the morning and then we take that headline and we just edit it a little bit.
And then we publish it like it's our own.
That's exactly what we do.
Yeah, that seems like a really good thing.
I mean, it saves time.
It saves time for everybody involved.
Every single headline.
No.
But like you're saying, that's a really strong reaction to salt and vinegar chips.
Yeah.
And then some guy named Alan also said, I'm sorry, but please delete your account.
So there's a GIF.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I hate that I said that.
GIF.
Thank you.
Is JIF the peanut butter?
JIF is the peanut butter.
But supposedly, the guy who invented the word GIF says it's pronounced GIF.
And everyone just agrees that he's wrong.
That guy's full of crap.
That's interesting.
But that's John Dunver.
So there's a GIF of Jean-Luc Picard and it just with a tagline or a subtitle, please delete your account.
Delete your account.
And then here's another one.
Retro Jank said, say that out loud so it can hear what room you're in.
Seems that seems dangerous.
That is.
I wouldn't.
It seems like a threat.
Is he like near Kyle when he's posting that?
He's trying to zero in on you.
Yeah.
That's hate speech.
Kyle is in danger.
He's in danger.
And he's got a bag of salt and vinegar chips in his hand, according to this picture.
Oh, so I guess that's it, right?
That's our show.
That's our show.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks for tuning in.
We do have a subscriber portion.
Oh, we do.
Guys, uh, will stick around or become subscribers.
You can listen to the rest of this podcast and be and let it tickle your ears.
So, become a subscriber.
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It's a lot of percent for the amount that you would spend on a Starbucks.