Kyle and the gang at The Babylon Bee do our Pride Month Roundup, discussing how everything is gay this month including Star Wars and Baseball. We have the rare Love Mail and listeners emailed in some Red Lobster memories and facts. This episode is brought to you by these sponsors: First Cup Coffee Company. Save 10% by using CODE 'BEE10' at checkout: http://firstcup.com Backyard Butchers. Get 20% OFF and Free Shipping: http://backyardbutchers.com/BEE My Patriot Supply. Get $200 off 3-month food kits: http://preparewithbee.com
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The Babylon Bee Podcast.
Hey, everybody, and welcome to the Babylon B podcast.
I'm Kyle.
I'm hanging out with Brandon and Travis today.
My name is Brandon, not Travis.
My name is Travis, not Brandon.
I don't know which way I pointed my head when I said their names.
It's Monday.
Oh, I hate Mondays, but you know what makes Mondays better?
Not being Monday.
It's true.
Is a Babylon B mug full of coffee.
And this one says, study finds most sin is a direct result of not having enough coffee in your system.
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Today is a special day.
It is our Pride Month Roundup, and we're very excited for this, aren't we?
I have a lot of pride in a new Star Wars show, The Acolytes.
Oh, it came out yesterday.
I haven't watched it yet.
Two episode premiere.
I'm going to watch it tonight.
I'm so excited about Star Wars.
Star Wars is great, guys.
I see you've got some Star Wars products and merchandise.
Yeah, because I have pride in Star Wars.
So have you not heard the news about the acolyte?
Hey, Dan, roll tape.
I want to ask you both because this is, I would say, arguably the gayest Star Wars.
By a considerable margin.
And why is that funny?
Are you excited about that?
Are you racing against that?
It's pretty gay.
Let's be honest.
What's your name with her?
How do you feel?
Am I gay?
No, I know you are gay, but I'm asking, are you excited about putting this?
You know, this is going to be a talking point.
Is it going to be a talking point?
I'm sure so.
Because nerds are gay.
Yeah.
Well, some nerds are very not gay and are very threatened by gay.
Well, that's true.
But in my world, nerds are gay.
Is this the fun element of?
No, I don't think so.
And yet people have told me that it's the gayest Star Wars.
And I frankly into it.
I think that Star Wars is so gay already.
Okay.
I mean, have you seen the fits?
We'd be like, look how gay this is, and then send each other a reference.
And are you telling me with a straight face that C3PO is straight?
They're a couple.
He's a girl.
That's what I think.
Oh, he is a robot.
This is more outward.
I think it's canon that R2D2 is a lesbian.
This is so incoherent on so many levels.
Ask Piloni.
Okay.
Ask Pilon.
This postmodern line, this postmodern viewpoint is so incoherent on so many levels.
She says, nerds are gay.
He says, well, nerds are not gay.
And she says, well, that's true, but nerds are gay.
And then she says, are you telling me that C-3PO is not gay?
There are a couple.
Then they said, R2-D2 is a lesbian.
Like, how does that make any sense at all?
Does this affect your excitement for the show at all, Jeff?
I might not watch it now.
I was excited about the lightsabers, but now there might be too many lightsabers.
They replaced C-3PO's arm with a rainbow arm instead of a red one.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You didn't recognize me because of my rainbow arm.
Are you going to take off your TIE Fighter shirt now?
Well, The Empire is straight, right?
Maybe The Empire did nothing wrong.
That's what I'm getting at here.
So were you guys going to watch it?
No, not at all.
And I don't even, honestly, I don't even care.
I mean, I do care, but the woke stuff is not the primary reason I don't care about it.
I don't care about it because I have lost all faith that they even know what Star Wars is anymore.
They don't.
They just throw the veneer of Star Wars, the facade of Star Wars on it, and they call it Star Wars, and they say it's been gay all along.
They dug up the rotting corpse of Star Wars and wore it like a skin suit.
It's more machine now than man.
Twisted and evil.
Evile.
Evile.
But I brought in all my Star Wars board games so we could play for Star Wars Pride.
Should we just play these games instead of podcasts?
Or we could play them on the podcast.
Ooh, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm down.
Just play Rebellion on the floor.
Nice simple game.
I think I tweeted a while back that if you had told me 10 years ago or five years ago that a new show about Obi-Wan would come out and I would not care at all.
I would not have believed you.
Did you ever finish Obi-Wan?
No, I watched one episode and I thought it was fine.
It's not worth finishing and it retcons a lot of things about.
But it was one of those things where it was fine, but there was no life to it.
There was nothing to hook me.
There was nothing I cared about.
It didn't feel like Star Wars to me.
And I don't know what all those elements are that they're missing, but I don't know.
Star Wars, as a kid, Star Wars to me was this lived in real universe with these beat up ships and desert backwater planets and gay lesbian droids.
And it's not that anymore.
Now it's, yeah.
I mean, it's one of those things.
One of those things.
I've been being served a lot of advertisements on Facebook and social media, what have you, about how fans are loving the new Acolyte series.
And it's very obviously cherry-picked.
And a lot of the comments are pointing that out.
And then there's also the contingent of people who are bashing the old school Star Wars fans and saying, you're just so set in your ways.
But I thought it was funny that one of the defenders was also defending Kenobi and the book of Boba Fett and saying, well, Book of Boba Fett was pretty good for the first half until it turned into the Mandalorian.
I was thinking, this is the exact opposite of the truth.
The only good part was the part where they introduced the Mandalorian part.
The rest of it was absolute garbage.
So it's interesting to me, too, because the red tomato score, Rotten Tomato score, like the critical acclaim is high, but like the audience score is like 58% or something like that.
People are not actually responding to it.
Well, Rotten Tomatoes, I don't believe is entirely reliable barometer of veracity of people's opinions.
A lot of times those will get flooded with trolls.
So I will trust my own intuition and say that is probably not going to be any good and probably has nothing to do with Star Wars with the exception of having glowing swords and force powers.
And whenever I click on one of those and you look at the positive reviews from actual reviewers, it's like comic book movie nerdstarwars.net.
100% review.
Slash original Star Wars fan.
I don't like woke stuff, but this is still good.
Yeah.
52.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, the marketing for it is so strange.
It's so disconnected from the majority of Star Wars fans, I would feel, that I kind of wonder if they're leaning into that.
Like, oh, people are going to want to watch it because of the controversy.
Watch the controversy.
That's what I always say.
Watch the controversy.
It's also funny because they are advertising by saying, fans love this.
And some of the comments are like, if fans love it, you don't have to say that fans love it.
They're obviously putting forward that fans, that, quote, fans love it in order to try to spread the message that fans love it.
So there was one reviewer that claims to have seen the first four episodes that claims that they are introducing themselves with non-binary pronouns by episode three.
We'll have to see if that is the case.
I haven't watched it, but I think they are also hiding the ball.
Like, I think in the first two episodes, it's probably less woke stuff and more as time will, but we'll see.
I mean, maybe I won't see because I probably am not going to watch it.
I spent four very productive hours this past weekend watching YouTuber Jenny Nicholson's review of the Star Wars Hotel.
Four hours.
A four-hour documentary on the Star Wars Galactic Star Cruiser hotel that was at Disney World and closed last year.
And it was fascinating to me.
It's totally worth watching because it's a complete train wreck of an experience that she had at this hotel.
But the most interesting thing to me was that it was very clear that Disney does not know what Star Wars is anymore.
And it's like, oh, it's aliens and they're, you know, it's like things in our world, but green people doing them.
You know, like there wasn't, this ship doesn't even look like a ship in Star Wars.
You know, it's like, I want a, I know it's supposed to be this, this galactic Star Cruiser, like luxury liner, but there's nothing that's lived in.
There's nothing that feels real.
It's just kind of like generic space thing.
And then the marketing was, she points out the marketing was very focused on everybody wants to like push the lever forward and punch it.
So it's like, that's, that's what they kept selling it on.
Like, like there was like hundreds of commercials that were like, you can punch it into hyperspace.
Punch it.
And it's, it's as if like, it's as if AI reviewed a bunch of Star Wars movies and was like, hmm, what is the one thing that everybody likes in Star Wars and wants to do?
Punching it.
Punching it, obviously.
So it was.
Every child's fantasy watching Star Wars growing up.
It reminds me of what Jordan Peterson said in our great interview where Travis interviewed him.
If you haven't seen that, go check it out.
Travisy Newvies of the World, episode one, Jordan Peterson.
Dr. Jordan Peterson, he described institutions as whale carcasses and vultures picking at the carcass, not really realizing what gave rise to the greatness that was once this behemoth.
So Star Wars, one of the greatest intellectual properties of all time, has now just become this empty shell.
And no one that is running the ship, as it were, knows why.
And they just believe that they can continue to propel this whale carcass through this ocean, but it has no life.
It's dead.
It's dead.
Let's all chant together.
Dead.
It will soon wash up on shore and then explode under the pressure of its own decomposing gases.
Gross.
Yeah, it is funny, the AI thing I was talking about, that it does feel like somebody that doesn't get it at all watched it and took notes and was like, light swords.
Space.
That seems important.
You know, there's this force thing.
That seems important.
And completely missed what the heart of it is all about.
I'm curious if you were to take one of these advanced AI models and gave it a prompt, write a Star Wars show, but make it gay.
How different that would be from what we are currently being served.
You know, and I wonder if you could actually get an AI model to write a Star Wars script without the gay prompt, and it would actually just be way better than what we're getting.
I think it would be better than that.
It would just be rogue one.
So I don't know.
Maybe the acolyte has something going for it.
Maybe it's fine.
I'm not going to watch it just because I don't care anymore.
But let's continue talking about gay stuff with the Babylon Bees Pride Month special.
So we're going to look at some of the things that were happening here during Prime Minister.
I don't want to look at this.
We will blur all this out for the fans.
We get to look at it, apparently.
The West Hollywood Pride Parade was going on, and the Mayor John Erickson told broadcasters his favorite part of the event so far was, I love seeing all the kids just living and being there with their parents of all shapes and sizes and just seeing them having so much fun and giving them fans and throwing candy.
Well, what's wrong with that, Kyle?
They're just kids at a parade.
So here's another pick of the parade.
Ah, this will be mostly blurred out for all of you.
They're just people with a higher than average rate of pedophilic activity handing candy to children.
Well, and they're all basically naked on a fire truck in this parade picture.
I like the dual defense that they always have for this stuff.
Like, well, it's for adults.
It's just for adults.
It's what adults want to do.
And then it's like, ah, it's great.
All the kids are here.
How wonderful.
But it's just for adults.
But all the kids are here.
It's so great.
Oh, I love to see all the kids here.
But it's just for adults.
Just putting aside like the nature of homosexuality being a sin, which it is.
Just put it aside for a minute.
Why are we like, yeah, let's do parades where we're all naked?
Yeah.
On the right thing, really.
Toys.
And bring kids.
That's just sick, bringing kids to that.
Yeah.
Agreed.
I mean, that makes it worse.
It's already sick, is my point.
Why are we just okay with that as a society?
I don't know how long we can do this segment.
I'm getting mad.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm getting angry.
Well, this is all we have for the whole show, so I hope you'll be all right.
So the Philadelphia Gay Pride Parade got held up by a free Palestine protest.
This will cheer you up, Brandon.
And there's no naked pictures on this one.
Okay.
There we go.
And this guy tweets it out.
Free Palestine protesters blocking Philly Pride Parade, 11th and Locust Streets.
But the message was clear.
We are all still voting for Biden Harris.
The USA was born out of a protest.
The way they spelled Born is like born identity.
No, that's not B-O-U.
That's a U.
No, it's not.
Nope, that's born like airborne needs a you.
Like COVID-19 is an airborne illness.
Airborne.
Matt Damon Bourne needs B-O-R.
Robert Ludlam needs you.
The bourne identity has a you, doesn't it?
No.
Yes, it needs a you.
Oh, does it?
It does?
I think it does.
Judges?
Jason Bourne.
I love this topic a lot more than what we were previously discussing.
So, what's your favorite Jason Bourne movie?
Yeah.
I like the second one.
I like the first one.
I think the first one was my favorite.
I've never finished the third one.
Okay, so I'm wrong.
Just cut the joke.
All it's missing.
No, we're keeping it in.
I liked the first one the best.
I mean, I think there's something about spy movies and superhero movies where that origin story one of the person like finding out the mystery of, oh, I'm actually the super spy thing is a really cool concept.
It was kind of the whole chase through Europe, which was really neat.
And they drove that tiny little car.
They do.
And especially the fact, I love the fact when they call in all the agents to bring Bourne in, like they call in the Italian agent and he happens to be driving by the Coliseum at that point.
They call in the, what else was there?
But they're always like next to a famous landmark whenever they're called up.
I love that.
Whenever I get called up for assignments, I'm standing in front of the Hollywood sign.
Or the Babylon beacon.
But not during the Pride Performance.
Let's not get too off topic.
Which Jason Bourne movie is the gayest?
Was there?
I don't think there was any gay stuff in the Bourne movie.
Probably the one with Carl Urban.
Maybe the later ones.
That's my favorite one.
Maybe the later ones.
I felt the second one had too much shaky can.
And I did like the third one as a satisfying conclusion.
Carl Urban, a man chasing Matt Damon, a man.
Come on, Hollywood.
Case?
Not so subtle.
I do like his conclusion here.
The message was clear.
We were all voting for Biden's.
Like, that's what.
Ignore the fact that we're ideologically each other.
I am curious, though, if you interviewed all these free Palestine people, how they believe that the Palestine people would treat the Pride Parade people.
I saw an interview this week where somebody asked somebody about that on the streets, and they were like, and they said, don't you, I was actually, it was a drag queen that was talking to a Palestinian protester.
And the drag queen, they, she, I don't know, I guess it's a he, right?
Probably.
Said, uh, don't you know that I would be killed over there?
And the Palestinian protester goes, oh, I didn't know that.
I think that's a thing.
I have done no research.
I personally have done no research on this, but well, before I protested for it.
So that would be a good man on the street segment we could do.
Yeah.
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In additional gay news, Ms. Rachel, a YouTube star who used to be a preschool teacher and coincidentally also a preschooler at some point.
Says a preschooler turned YouTube student.
She was once a preschooler.
That's true.
It's actually true.
So in honor of Pride Month, she posted an Instagram video where she was just like, yay, happy Pride.
I love you the way you are.
That sort of thing for all the gay kids.
Or like Ms. Gachel.
Oh.
Got her.
So Matt Walsh was livid.
Livid.
Mad about something always.
Classic Matt Walsh.
Classic Matt Walsh.
So he tweeted, Ms. Rachel is an extremely popular YouTuber who makes content for babies and toddlers.
She just posted a video celebrating Pride Month.
This is a message to conservative parents.
She doesn't want your business.
You should respond accordingly.
And a direct quote in this response video she was giving was, I'm not chasing fame or views.
Therefore, let's honor her request.
And not watch.
She's not chasing fame or views.
Do not watch Miss Rachel.
Do not let your children watch Miss Rachel.
They will become trannies.
Also, just don't let your kids on YouTube by themselves.
The only thing I let my kids watch on YouTube is Titan documentaries.
I mean, they're a little traumatized by the sinking, but they're straight.
I can also recommend the four-hour Star Wars Hotel documentary if your children are interested in that.
On a side note, have you seen her video on the, I forget which church it was, but there's a church that does Easter plays in the theme of various intellectual properties.
No, they did a Lion King, Marvel, Avengers, like Star Wars.
They've probably done Star Wars, but every year they do a very thematic Easter pageant.
And it's phenomenal.
Jenny Nicholson did a video.
Oh, I'm going to definitely watch it.
I'm very excited about that.
Yeah, so.
Back to the gay stuff.
So what I've seen stuff in things that pop up in our kids' videos.
That's on Netflix or YouTube, where it's just like all of a sudden there's some reference to something and you're like, wait, wait, wait.
The most common thing I see is evolution getting pushed.
You know, you're just, their kids are watching shows.
It's like an educational science show or whatever.
And then all of a sudden it's like, but we came from monkeys.
And they look right at the camera just say, you know, God didn't create you.
You were created.
And then the person comes off screen and then they're never seen again.
There was that one clip that Joel posted a few weeks ago.
It was, I think, I believe some sort of documentary on the origin of everything.
And the beginning opening monologue of the show was, in the beginning, there was nothing.
And then, or in the beginning, there was nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
And then something happened.
Yeah.
That's fantastic.
So no to evolution then?
It's a lie.
No.
Oh.
It is a lie.
But yeah, you see this stuff about like pronouns.
There was the recent one where the mech and that Jennifer Lopez movie had pronouns.
My pronouns are actually she has.
Why would you even program a robot to waste their time like that?
I feel we're finally at the point where sane people are starting to realize that they can have an actual influence on culture.
Last year with the boycott and target, sorry, last year with the Bud Light and Target boycotts that were actually rather effective.
And these companies actually saw a divot in their profits.
I believe this is something that we can continue to do and it doesn't harm us.
It's at most a minor inconvenience to not shop at Target for a month.
It is zero inconvenience to not drink Bud Light.
So I believe we should continue to put the pressure on.
I'm adding Miss Rachel to that list.
I think everyone should stop watching her videos.
Half the parents in America should just stop watching her videos and just see what happens.
Just see what happens.
Just switch to a nice Titan documentary.
I am proud to report that the Target in my area had no Pride display this year.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
And I live in West Hollywood, but not actually.
All right.
Well, in future in further Pride Month news, the Texas Rangers are the lone team in the MLB in MLB that does not have a Pride night.
And this person on Twitter was upset because he went on the Rangers website and they changed their banner as June started.
Their slogan for the year was run it back.
And they quietly replaced it with one of their other logos, straight up Texas.
And he says, at best, it's really unfortunate timing.
At worst, it feels antagonistic.
Good.
I like the idea that one out of 30 professional baseball teams does not celebrate your sexual preferences with a special night.
And you are antagonized by that.
The way he makes it sound too is that there's this, he's just like constantly refreshing their website to see what they're doing.
They finally did it.
I can't believe it.
Well, I bet he would.
I bet he was trying to see if they were going to put up a pride message or something, you know, so he can call them out.
And it is possible that these large corporations are actually just pandering to conservatives as all these other corporations are pandering to.
I'm good to be pandered, too.
But, you know, hey, we'll take it.
They're going against the grain.
They're going against the grain.
They knew there would be backlash.
And hey, good for them.
Another thing I wanted to circle back to on the Ms. Gaitel thing is you look at why are these creators who are targeting preschoolers focused on this stuff?
I mean, as Christians, obviously we believe that it's all sinful all the way through adulthood and stuff.
We don't think there should be naked praise.
Controversial.
And we think, you know, drag queens and all that stuff, that's all, you know, it's kind of sinful behavior and we're against that.
But there is a difference between adults choosing to do that stuff and pushing it on young kids.
There's another degree of sinfulness there.
We also saw it with Sesame Street this year.
Did you see Sesame Street was posting gay promotional stuff?
And I think they've done it in the past.
They've been gay for a while.
They said, no matter what, sexual orientation, we love you.
And it's like, dude, two-year-olds?
Like, it's two-year-olds watching this.
I mean, the tough thing about this is we, as Christians, we love the gays.
We love them as people, as creations of.
Brandon, I want you to look in the camera and say, I love the gays.
I'm not going to do that.
But we love gay people.
We want them to have a relationship with Christ, and we don't want to inherently upset.
And we know we do upset them, but it is done in love.
And I know that the other people would say that they're doing all this in love too because they want children to be more inclusive.
But in reality, I believe that they are, that Satan is an angel of light.
And he has allowed people to, he's changed the culture so that they believe that this is right.
And so I do not believe that everyone, everyone that supports this is in support of pedophilia.
I do not believe that everyone is in support of grooming children, but I believe that they have been tricked into believing that this is what is good.
Bamboozled.
That's the word I was searching for.
Duped.
Also that.
So for some, there are absolutely atrocious evil monsters that are a part of this movement.
And there are others that are just unfortunately blindly led sheep.
Swindled.
Swindled.
Yeah, it's a good one.
You're trying to look up synonyms?
Confounded?
No, that doesn't work.
So Call of Duty released trans flag-themed bullets for Pride Month.
Bullets?
Bullets.
That's weird.
That's weird, right?
I think that's a little weird.
I mean, it's weird to have, in general, it's like, oh, we have a video game and we're selling like DLC packs and stuff.
I get the cosmetics, but here, now the bullets you see for like two seconds when he reloads, they have a design.
That's already weird.
And now there's trans bullets.
There have been a lot of trans shooters lately, so.
Yeah, maybe they're just going for historical accuracy as the Call of Duty games are known for.
Oh, well, then that's okay.
With a full LGBTQ representation, lesbians have the highest rate of domestic abuse among a couple of people.
Call of Duty games ranked.
Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2, Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 3.
I like how we're just desperately trying not to talk about the gay stuff.
I can't really think of any other ones that I really like that much.
Call of Duty Big Red One.
No, that was only on consoles.
I've only played one Call of Duty game, and that was Modern Warfare 2, the first Modern Warfare 2, because there's two now, apparently.
Yeah.
And I only got it because everyone was playing it, and I bought it and I didn't care for it.
I enjoyed a little bit of Warzone.
I just don't like those Battle Royale games very much.
You worked on Call of Duty Big Red One?
Yeah, I was a QA test for Call of Duty.
You just played it.
It was still work, Kyle.
Are you in the credits?
Yeah.
Okay.
So if you beat Big Red One, you'll see my name in the credits.
Okay, it'll just say Travis.
It just says is that the one with Clifford?
Yeah.
Who's Clifford?
Never mind.
Mark Hamill does the voiceover work for it.
The Big Red Dog.
Oh, I get the joke now.
I don't pay attention to Clifford ever since he went gay.
I don't know if he did or not.
There's a classic kind of meme image that goes around every Pride month of the different corporate logos that change to rainbows in the U.S. version of their social accounts and do not change in the Middle East versions of their accounts.
So you see Mercedes-Benz is a rainbow, but Mercedes-Benz Middle East is not.
BMW, same thing.
Cisco, same thing.
Lenovo, same thing.
Bethesta, same thing.
That's amazing.
And someone actually replied to BMW and said, How come you don't proudly display your logo pride colors on your Middle East posts?
And they actually just admitted it.
This is an established practice at the BMW group, which also takes into consideration market-specific legal regulations and country-specific cultural aspects.
So they're actually just admitting what the meme has been showing for years.
In other words, we just want your money.
We don't want to get thrown off a roof.
Next line item.
Hey, Kyle.
Oh.
Sorry.
Hey, Kyle.
You guys were both too excited to do this one.
Well, I was going to do something with it, but.
Oh, no, you go.
Okay.
We'll cut all this out.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, right.
Next item.
Sorry.
Next item.
Baseball is gay.
Moving on.
Oh.
Okay, your turn.
You can do it.
And we'll just pick the best one.
Yours is better.
I'm sure of it.
Hey, Kyle, do you like baseball?
Oh, I love baseball.
No, you don't.
It's gay.
Why doesn't he thou?
So MLB posted their annual Pride Month message and changed the logo.
And a lot of the teams follow suit and change their logo on social performance.
I actually noticed a lot of teams either didn't do it this year or did it for one day and then changed it back.
Where before it was like all month long, you were kind of assaulted every time you or every time you watch this stuff or looked at their social accounts.
So it's kind of interesting that there was a lot of pushback and this post actually got ratioed pretty hard.
People just replying like, we just want to watch sports.
And I like that this, I like that MLB's entire thing is to show sports to the audience.
That's what they do.
And the audience is standing there screaming, just show us sports.
And they're, and they don't get it.
And they're like, gay.
Is this what you want?
Gay?
Like, no, we just want baseball.
That's what we're here.
Like, whatever.
I don't care.
We're not here for politics.
Baseball.
I like that characterization, though, because it's probably very accurate.
It's like, so gay.
You're at a restaurant and you're talking to them.
Please serve me baseball with the side of more baseball.
So gay?
Gay?
Baseball?
More like gay ball.
Oh, would you like the gay combo platter?
No, I just want baseball.
I'm going to the Angels game tonight.
Oh, that's gay.
Not as gay as the Dodgers.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
You know, I'm basically just.
The Dodgers were my team.
And I'm basically like, go Rangers.
So, okay.
Free agent.
Are you signing with the Rangers or are you still a free agent fan?
If they want me for a mascot, I'll do it.
That would be fun.
You know, I was a mascot in high school.
Were you really?
For the football games?
What was the costume?
It was just him.
They just, I'm just standing there.
We were the conquistadors.
Oh.
And so I wore the like, it was kind of like one of those skirts, like Roman skirt things and combat boots.
Do you have a picture?
I'll have to go.
I'll have to see if I have one.
And then, and then it was like a giant, like anthropomorphic cartoon guy.
Oh.
Anthropomorphic is the wrong word.
So it wasn't just you wearing a conquistador.
No, it was a giant cartoon conquistador head.
And it was, his name was Don.
Anthropomorphic.
So I had a sword and I would run around and terrorize the cheerleaders and stuff.
He was an anthropomorphic human.
Yeah.
I only did it a few times.
Oh.
So it was okay.
Yeah.
Well, speaking of baseball, I went to a Quakes game last night and Tremor was there.
Oh, the mascot.
My favorite mascot.
I'll be honest.
I was like, kids, look, it's Tremor.
Like, thinking they'll get all excited.
And then he starts dancing and I'm just laughing at him.
And they're like, we're watching the game.
You were like dancing with Tremor.
Well, I didn't dance.
Come on, kids.
I don't know.
There's something about Tremor that I just find so endearing.
Let's show a picture of Tremor in honor of Pride Month, which is also a Dodgers affiliate.
So he's like a dinosaur, a lizard?
He's a dinosaur.
Okay.
He's not an alligator.
He's a dinosaur.
He has spines on his back.
I always feel like with a lot of these mascots, like, what does a lizard have to do with the quake theme of the team?
Well, I guess like Godzilla stomping.
Yeah.
Before you mentioned this, I was questioning what is a quake mascot.
Like, I was like, is it like wavy lines?
It's a tectonic plate.
It's the Richter scale or whatever that's called.
Yeah, Tremor, when he stomps on the ground, he creates quakes.
You get it?
It always feels to me like there was one costume on clearance at the costume shop.
Like, that's it.
And they're like, Tremor?
What's that?
For the abstract sex.
Do you have anything that says Tremor?
We've got a lizard.
We got a lizard.
I'll take it.
What's the Dodgers mascot?
I don't know.
The nuns of Perpetual Indulgence.
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence that got arrested for public.
Okay, Adele.
Adele yelled at an audience member for yelling, Pride sucks.
What'd she say, Travis?
She said, Don't be so expletiving ridiculous.
If you have nothing nice to say, shut up, all right?
Singer tells concertgoer at Pride.
Oh, she didn't say that part.
She's the singer.
I like how she's saying something that is quite definitively not nice and telling people while saying, don't say things that are not nice.
If you don't have anything nice to say, you effing make me.
Are you, Brandon?
Are you calling Adele a hypocrite?
I am not.
Oh, no.
Okay.
It kind of sounded like you were.
Okay.
I was trying to think of a good Adele pun, but I can't think of any Adele's songs.
The only one I can think of is Hello, and I don't like that song.
I was trying to think of Adele song puns earlier.
And I said, What kind of songs do they have?
And Jordan offered, She has Hello from the Other Side.
I was like, Yeah, but I'm trying to think of puns.
He's like, Well, the song's already pretty gay.
Oh, the fan was trolling in the deep.
Oh, okay.
When the gay falls, Skyfall.
She did that song.
Well, thus concludes our coverage of Pride Month.
You have now been caught up on everything that happened in June.
So is Pride Month over?
I don't know.
I don't honestly, I'm getting the ick, as the kids say, when people even refer to June as Pride Month.
And I know we have been throughout this episode, but it's like, oh, what for Pride Month?
On Pride Month is on Pride Month.
It's not Pride Month.
It's June.
It's just what it is.
It's June.
We don't recognize it.
We don't celebrate it and honor it.
Also, I have decided I am not going to call, quote, trans people trans people or transgender because in reality, transgenderism does not exist.
So someone cannot be transgender.
I can say something along the lines of they identify as transgender, but to call someone a transgender is a lie.
And also, they're people.
They're just people.
Like, there's a more humanizing aspect to that than saying, like, I am going to completely identify you based on this thing that you're into right now.
Yeah.
You know, this mental illness or whatever.
Is Travis a straight person?
Yeah.
Hi, I'm straight Travis.
Were we going to talk about Trump?
No?
Speaking of Pride Month, Trump was convicted on 34 counts of felony counts, not related to, but he's probably a proud person.
So that's the problem.
Well, he is.
Yeah.
So he was found guilty of white-collar financial crimes related to covering up and mislabeling this $130,000 hush bunny payment to a porn star during the 2020, 2016.
I don't know, during one of the elections, the 2016 election.
How are we feeling as a society, boys?
Never vote for a president, me, boys.
Never vote for a president.
I mean, that said, I will be voting for Trump, but it's kind of like, eh.
Well, I was in before, and now I'm like, just because I hate the establishment so much.
Yeah.
It really fired me up to vote for Trump.
That's a fair point.
Because even though he did a really gross thing, the method of going after him has been also gross.
I will be voting for Barack Obama because it's Pride Month.
But when you vote, it won't be Pride Month.
Okay, I won't be voting for Barack Obama then.
Okay.
So if the election was this much, I would be, yeah, you have to vote for the Pridefulest.
I will be voting for Barack Obama, but only in the imagination.
That's my favorite thing he's ever said.
The thing with the Trump stuff is like, I'm of two minds about it.
It's like, on the one hand, I just wish there was consistency.
Like, I just wish that, you know, they went after Hillary Clinton in the same way.
They went after all these people.
You can't do that because it's unprecedented.
And Republicans cannot wield that kind of power because if we wield that kind of power, just think what the Democrats will do to us.
Yeah, like if Trump broke the law and that law was always enforced and we were always doing this kind of thing when Hillary Clinton did crimes, Obama did crime, Bush did crimes, then I would be in favor.
Like, yep, that's our guy, but he screwed up, you know, just like so many people before him.
I like what Matt Walsh said just a few minutes ago, actually, when we just talked to Matt Walsh, name drop.
But he said, if we held the standard consistency, sure, consistently, sure, let's just lock them all up.
They're all criminals.
But we don't, unfortunately, and we have a very unjust justice.
Yeah, so the hypocrisy bugs a lot of us.
And just that it's so obviously a political ploy.
You know, it's so obvious that they went after him because he's Trump and for no other reason.
And, you know, you're getting tried by a New York jury.
Is that going to be fair?
I mean, I know that's the law in terms of being tried by a jury of your peers.
But you're also allowed to request a change of venue.
You have a concern about a fair trial.
They don't even need consensus on what he's guilty of specifically.
Crazy.
Yeah, they're crazy.
Yeah, that was very strange.
The instructions to the jury were saying things like, you can all agree that there's different crimes that were the predicate crime.
But as long as you all agree that there was a crime, then you can kind of find him guilty.
You can kind of find him guilty.
If you want.
If you find it in your heart.
What does your heart tell you?
And you know it's going to get overturned on appeal, even if it goes up to the Supreme Court.
So not the end of the world, but just another step in the long collapse, in the downward trend, and the spiral towards the eventual crumbling and death of the Republic.
Be sure to like, comment, and subscribe to us on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.
I like what the Babylon Bee posts posted on the election night in 2020.
What was the exact verbiage, Kyle?
Was that the Christ is still on the throne?
Yes.
Yeah.
Early election results are in.
Christ is still on the throne.
So ultimately, I mean, through all the stress, through all the craziness, those of us who have a foundation and belief and relationship with Christ have nothing to worry about.
The world is going to be crazy around us, but we have our firm foundation on what is ahead.
And that cannot, cannot ever be changed.
And we can all take comfort on that.
That's one of the reasons Paul was able to say he's content in whatever situation he's in, because Christ is on the throne.
There's one reason I like writing comedy at the Babylon B is because we can use comedy to point out this kind of stuff, that it's not that important in the long run, you know, that we have hope way beyond this life.
That's why we can joke about things, you know?
I always feel like I read leftist comedy.
You look at stuff the Onion puts out.
You look at liberal late-night comedy, and it's so doom and gloom because they believe this is the end of the Republic.
And oh my gosh, if Trump gets elected, it's the end of the world.
And, you know, blah, blah, blah.
And we're not like that.
Like, if Biden gets elected, it's like, well.
Did you see Robert De Niro's unhinged rant about how Trump is never going to leave the White House if he gets elected?
Yeah, even though he has previously left the White House.
I don't even understand where these complaints are.
This time he won't leave.
Trust me.
I mean, I know he keeps calling the election rig, but he did leave the White House.
He's not there right now.
That we know of.
So bottom line, trust in Christ, not Robert De Niro.
Another day, another breaking news story buried.
They'd rather talk about anything else than what's really going on.
It's not because they don't know what's happening.
The media pundits and talking heads just don't want you paying attention.
The real stories, you have to look behind the headlines for them.
You know, the truth is being covered up.
I learned that from the X-Files.
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That's preparewithbee.com.
Muchas gracias.
It is time for Love Mail.
Hi guys, I'm Pat, first-time caller, long-time listener.
Just want you to know that this is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
And then Pat, he or she shares our video.
Trump perfectly describes seven historic battles.
I had to call an ambulance for my 91-year-old dad at 1 a.m. this week.
We had to wait outside the ER while the doctors worked on him.
And we watched this B video to take the pressure off.
Dad's doing okay.
Thanks.
I was concerned that the dad was in the hospital because he watched the video.
And like that's when I first read this, and it's like, this video is so funny.
So my dad's 91 years old.
I'm like, oh no.
We put someone in the hospital that was laughing very hard at this.
Thank you, Pat.
And we're glad to bring some levity to your day.
I hope your dad's doing okay.
Babylon B listeners, pray for Pat and his or her dad.
And it's nice to get love mail.
It is nice to get love mail once in a while because we get so much hate mail.
Yeah.
If you have love mail for us, send it to podcast at babylonbee.com to make us feel good.
Speaking of feeling good, it's time for Red Lobster Facts.
The most exciting segment on the podcast we have ever done better than anything, any other segment in the past.
Our Red Lobster Fact of the Day comes to us from Nathan S. Good day.
It is a fact that Red Lobster has the best cheddar biscuits with every meal.
It's the best thing about the restaurant.
Agree or disagree, Kyle.
It is the best thing about the restaurant.
I agree.
So therefore, we agree with him, and therefore it is a fact.
Although it's called Cheddar Bay Biscuits, they're called Cheddar Bay Biscuits is what they're called.
Copyright trademark.
They're supposed to be trying to avoid being sued.
You mean cheesy ocean biscuits?
So you also agree, right?
What do you imagine?
Brandon, what are your thoughts on I will not partake in this segment?
This is blasphemy.
This goes against my deeply held religious belief and that there is only one true greatest segment of the podcast.
And this isn't it.
Okay, well, this segment is over then.
It's time for Red Lobster Mail.
A new segment.
One of my favorite memories at Red Lobster is when we would go out to eat as a family on a Sunday afternoon.
We'd drive to the Red Lobster in Asheville, North Carolina.
I remember seeing the sign right there off the exit as we'd go to Carabas from Daniel Gessler.
Mr. Calabas himself.
Ah, the sign.
Ah, the signs.
Well, some great Red Lobster Mail.
These are indeed great facts and great memories about America's first national seafood distribution system, Red Lobster.
Thank you, everyone, for joining us for the super special Pride Month special.
If you want to get into the subscriber portion of the podcast with more Pride stuff, be sure to sign up at babylonbee.com slash plans and use promo code podcast to get a 20% discount.