Kirk Cameron is at The Babylon Bee again to talk about how his story hours at libraries are offering parents and children the opportunity to hear wholesome stories about the fruit of the Holy Spirit like love, joy, and peace, and how more than 50 woke libraries have told him that his book's message is not aligned with the library's values. That might explain all the drag queens everywhere! Kirk Cameron has a new children's book As You Grow: https://www.amazon.com/As-You-Grow-Kirk-Cameron/dp/1955550298/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=as+you+grow&qid=1680829560&sr=8-1#customerReviews The Babylon Bee is also talking about Trump's indictment on 34 felony charges, how the New York Times is no longer verified on Twitter, and how Dylan Mulvaney is now a Bud Light Partner. Also you can't be a mixed race character in Dungeons and Dragons any more. Not very inclusive! There's a very special Sizzler Facts this week. You don't want to miss it. Oftentimes people on the internet write stuff like that just to get you to click on something. But, that is not the case with this. You really don't want to miss it. So don't! There's also a lot of Bible devo time in this episode! Then after your spirits are lifted by the Word, we all enjoy some hate mail! In the full-length ad-free subscriber podcast, Kirk Cameron sticks around to field the hard-hitting questions The Babylon Bee can come up with and they find out which subscriber-submitted headlines make Kirk Cameron laugh! Get the full podcast by using PromoCode: 'PODCAST' to get 20% off becoming a Babylon Bee annual subscriber at: http://babylonbee.com/plans You'll also be supporting the certified team of fake news journalists you can trust here at The Babylon Bee. Another way you can support The Babylon Bee is to support the sponsors of this episode: Kyle will be at the Making The Case Conference!: http://issuesetc.org Don't have health insurance? Check out Samaritan Ministries: http://samaritanministries.org/thebabylonbee Don't trust fiat currency? Go to Allegiance Gold: http://protectwithbee.com
Hey, we've got Kurt Cameron in the studio, and he says you can have a library story hour without drag queens.
Weird.
Trump was arraigned in Manhattan on 34 felony charges, but don't worry, he can shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any voters.
We felt a great disturbance in the force this week, as if millions of blue checks suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Dungeons and Dragons has come out against mixed-race characters.
Not very tolerant and open-minded, if you ask me.
Dylan Mulvaney is a Bud Light partner now, showing that Bud Light really needs to do some market research on who buys Bud Light.
All this and more on the Babylon Bee Podcast.
Hey, everyone, you're hanging out with me, Kyle Mann, my buddy Adam Yenser, and our buddy, Kurt Cameron.
How you doing, man?
Cameron's here today.
I'm doing great.
You don't get much better than this.
I drive in traffic, and I am rewarded by hanging out with you guys at the Babylon Bee.
You always look like you're having a great time.
Yeah, enjoying life.
You know?
Did you know Ray Comfort slapped us?
He slapped you?
Yeah, you slapped him, yeah.
Oh, not him.
Yeah, he wasn't out here, but he came on to do an interview with us, and he kept saying that people needed a good slap in the face, which for such a loving guy, you know, was very weird.
Like, he kept saying it.
And then we said, do you think we need to slap in the face?
And he jumped up and walked across and slapped me and Jared.
Oh!
He actually hit us pretty good.
Yeah.
Wow.
So does that sound characteristic?
Ray gets away with a lot of just outrageous things.
I mean, the things that he says to people, you know, have you ever lied?
Have you ever stolen anything?
You ever looked at a woman with lust?
No.
Are you homosexual?
And then he'll just, he'll say things.
You just say, Ray, how do you get away with this stuff?
But he's this cute little kiwi with a beard and a funny accent, and you just can't get mad at him.
It's like, oh, you're sucky.
You just tussle his hair.
Yeah, like a little guy.
Well, that's great.
So you got any comedy shows coming up?
Yeah.
I'll be in Ohio tonight and tomorrow.
Friday at 8.45 at BB Rooner's Funny Farm in Salem.
And then Saturday at the Funny Farm in Youngstown.
Oh, right near where the train exploded.
So I'm going to bring some bottled water.
Don't drink the water when you go to Mexico and Ohio.
I got to be careful of the water.
Do you got any comedy shows coming up, Kirk?
No, I don't have any comedy shows coming up.
Although, no, I don't.
No, I don't.
You thought about booking them for a second?
No, I didn't.
I was just thinking about, you know, the news is kind of a comedy show all the time.
That's true.
Right?
And have you ever done stand-up comedy, Girl?
No.
Oh, okay.
No.
No interest.
I don't think I'd be very good at it.
Okay.
No, I like a team of like 12 writers following me around just telling me what to say.
Awesome.
Well, Kirk does do some kind of library show, but not with drag queens.
So we're going to talk about that.
The libraries are firmly opposed to how Kirk Cameron does not groom the children.
They're against that.
They're against the rumors.
This is a grooming only show.
We're going to talk about Trump being indicted on felony charges.
We're going to talk about Dungeons and Dragons, the continuing slide into wokeness.
Dylan Mulvaney being a Bud Light partner.
Blue checks losing their blue check and more.
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Let's jump into the show.
Here we go.
Hey, Babylon Bee fans.
Join me at the 2023 Issues, etc. Making the Case Conference, Friday, June 16th, and Saturday, June 17th at Concordia University, Chicago.
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I'll see you there.
And now it's time for story time with Kirk Cameron.
We're the drag queens.
So, Kirk, you've been touring the country doing, you call it Brave Story Hours?
Brave Story Hours.
That's right.
And you're reading your new book As You Grow.
Oh, Brave, because it's Brave Books.
I get it.
Yeah, that's the publisher Brave Books.
Yes.
And we actually covered this at the Babylon Bee.
The library kids were excited to hear a story read by mysterious new drag queen Kirk Dazzle Glamaroni.
There's an actual picture of you and drag queen.
Not photoshopped.
I didn't want that photo to get out.
You found it.
That's great.
So what's your new book about?
Why read it at libraries?
What's the response been?
Let's talk about them.
So I wrote this new children's book, and it's all about teaching kids biblical wisdom and the fruit of the spirit.
You know, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness.
And I wanted to read it at public libraries because story hours are all the rage now.
And I was denied by over 50 woke libraries that previously held drag queen story hours.
So crazy.
So if you want to read about wokeness as a man with a beard in fishnet stockings and heels to little toddlers about gender and sexuality and other topics that come on, but if it's about love, joy, kindness, and loving God, it's a hard no.
And what we did was push back on this because we figured that would be the response from these libraries.
And we wrote a letter.
I gave him a free copy of the book and said, I think you'll agree these are the values we want for all of our kids.
But if you persist in the discrimination because of my sincerely held viewpoint about loving God and others, I'm prepared to exercise my constitutional rights.
We immediately got emails with links to sign up for story hours at these libraries.
And when we went to Indianapolis, which is the first one, who said that our community is not interested in your messaging, we had over 2,500 parents and children show up and overwhelm that library on all six floors, out the front door and down the street.
And it was a similar response in Scarsdale, New York, and then also in Nashville and Fayetteville and Los Angeles and other places where they said their messaging at that library and my messaging were not aligned.
Not true according to the citizens of those cities.
Yeah.
Well, and I could kind of understand if, I mean, not that it would be a good thing, but if they just didn't allow people to come in with outside beliefs or whatever to come into these libraries, it'd be one thing.
Like, well, we just don't have people do that.
Like, we have our own people do the library thing.
The fact that they allowed drag queens to do it, and then they were like, oh, you get this guy that's coming in and you're a Christian or whatever.
It's so bizarre that that point of hook.
Well, one of the interesting things that happened during this tour, and we're going to about 15, 20 cities to those public libraries before July, because we've got a big deal coming up in July.
We were in Fayetteville, Tennessee, and we went there and had about 800 moms and dads and kids standing out in the rain and the cold with umbrellas waiting to get in.
We were gathered around the flag outside the library singing the national anthem and God bless America.
We were praying in Jesus' name and we were talking about solutions to the nation's problems.
And the librarian inside was so against us being there that when we finally got in to do our work, he was kicking cabinets and having his staff play loud music and dropping books so that we couldn't continue.
And this so upset.
This is the opposite of what a librarian is supposed to do.
You're supposed to be quiet.
And he said we weren't even quieter here.
More noise, more noise.
And you know, the community got together together with the board of directors at the library and fired him.
And so that demonstrated to us once again that the perception that we're being told to swallow that libraries are woke, public schools are woke, everybody wants this stuff, and that Christianity belongs in a ghetto margin somewhere is not true.
There's millions of people out there that are saying, no, these are the values that we know lead to our blessing.
That's a fantastic point because I think they're doing that not just at libraries and schools, but the culture as a whole.
In every aspect of society, they're trying to push these woke values.
This is what America's shifting towards.
This is what it's about.
Doesn't that sound like propaganda?
That doesn't seem like a few pushing a message so consistently and so loudly that most people who just want to go along to get along and not get in trouble believe what they're told from authority figures.
That's why it's important we have a higher authority than the media and the government, and that is the word of God.
Amen.
Yeah, and we'll talk about that a little bit later with like Dylan Mulvaney and the Bud Light stuff.
But that's one of those things.
It feels so inorganic.
Like somebody's just like, this is your new role.
Yes.
When Dylan Mulvaney popped up, I'd never heard anyone who was a fan of that first.
It was immediately being pushed and these companies partnering with.
These are interesting pictures, right?
They look like drag nuns, right?
Like the Munsters in drag.
And some of them, I think they were from a group called the Hillbilly Harlots.
And they were there sort of walking the kids' views and holding up these signs about Christian hate and stuff like that.
But the parents actually turned it all around.
Many of them were homeschoolers and they use this as an object lesson for their kids to demonstrate the difference between light and dark, between like truth and error.
You know that devil we teach you about?
Here we go.
You should bring little awards like for best costume that you just give out to the protesters.
I need you guys to bear with me on this library tour.
You win best costume.
Let us know Babylon B and Kirk Cameron doing a story.
Let's go, baby.
I'm going to be totally done.
Yeah, so we got these pictures.
You can check them out if you're on the video feed there.
Are you going to keep doing this?
Yes.
Yeah, we're going to keep doing this.
We were just in New York City and we were just in Washington, D.C. Very interesting.
There are still families showing up at these libraries, even though in D.C., we were there the day before Trans Day of Vengeance.
I don't know if you heard about that.
But that, together with the tragic shooting in Nashville by that shooter, and we'll see what that manifesto says.
But these Christians that are being targeted for their beliefs and together with all of this trans anger, we're in a difficult spot.
But parents understand this is our moment as the family of faith to demonstrate what courage and hope looks like and engage a culture by standing for what's right.
And I've really been inspired by them.
And apart from the libraries that are opposed to this and resist it, have you found, I sure have found a lot of libraries that are excited to have you welcome.
Oh, yeah, there's tons of people.
Tons are saying, come to our library, come, Barlow.
We want you here.
And it's interesting that people will say that, but then sometimes the leadership in those libraries will still oppose it.
And again, that's highlighting the need that we have to engage culturally, not just say, well, we love libraries, but we need to be involved in preserving our libraries and guiding and directing our libraries by getting involved in the leadership positions.
Yeah, because there are a lot of these people that are graduating with woke, you know, liberal arts degrees from woke colleges, and then that's the jobs that they kind of gravitate towards.
Yeah.
You know, and we don't really community organizing and that kind of stuff.
Well, we're busy raising children trying to work and we want to, yeah.
I'm just kidding.
But yeah, you know, it's not something that we conservatives or Christians tend to tend to gravitate towards.
We used to, I think, in culture, but we've gotten further and further away from that.
Well, Kirk, it looks like you're doing a great job out there.
And anybody that sees a Kirk story hour, go check it out.
But we have a very special award that we want to present you with now.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
We actually presented this award live at our BeLive event last month in late February.
And now we wanted to give it to you in person.
So this is for the best Christian actor who got his start in Growing Pains and whose first name rhymes with Dirk.
It's a fiercely competitive category.
But this year, the award goes to Kirk Cameron!
What?
This is our best Christian actor who got his start on Growing Pains and whose first name rhymes with Dirk.
You know, I...
Do you have an acceptance speech you want to give?
You know, I watched this and I wondered where the award went.
And here it is now.
I thought maybe Kevin Sorbo stole it or something like that.
He tends to do that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But this is a real honor.
I mean, there's so many Christian actors who got their start on Growing Paints whose name rhymes with Dirk.
Yeah, right.
But you're the best.
But I was the best of all of all of them.
That's a good choice.
And, you know, congrats to all the nominees.
I'm deeply honored.
You know, people don't realize this, but there actually were a lot of actors who got their start on Growing Paints.
Can I list a few?
Yeah.
I mean, you've got, now I'm forgetting his name.
Kirk Cameron.
No, Leonardo DiCaprio.
Oh, okay.
We're taking that award differently.
He played like our little brother on the show.
And Brad Pitt.
And there were so many old-time famous actors that we brought back from the Love Boat and Gilligan's Island and great shows like that.
And then, you know, Hollywood's a small world.
And so a lot of the people that you see today, they're like huge stars were all on those shows back in the day, like Growing Pains, Who's the Boss, all those things.
So it's cool to have been a part of that.
Yeah, awesome.
Well, congratulations.
Thanks, man.
I will treasure this.
I can't wait to take this home to my kids.
They're going to be just like, no way, dad.
That's awesome.
That's so wonderful.
Hey, I have two questions for you.
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What's in the news this week?
Former President Trump flew to New York to appear in court facing an arraignment on 34 felony counts for alleged hush money payments to Stormy Daniels.
I hadn't heard much about this.
Yeah, this hasn't been in the news.
We're bringing it to light to our obscure story.
It's been a little bit of a circus.
They were kind of.
It really has.
I was actually surprised that he went in to be arraigned and came out and flew home before he gave his speech at Mar-a-Lago.
He did the campaign speech after that.
There's some expectation that he's going to start talking to people right outside the street.
So what's the plan with that?
What's the next step in that?
I heard that the trial is going to be sometime in December of this year.
So what happens between now and then?
I think his lawyers will file a lot of motions to get to get the case dismissed because it's on very shaky legal grounds.
But if it does happen in December, then I think that's part of their goal is to just have this overshadow as much of his campaign as possible.
Now, call me a conspiracy theorist, but you are a conspiracy theorist.
But if I were his political opponent, boy, this just seems like a perfect plan to get him all tied up in knots after December as we go into the year of the election.
And he might even be just viewed as a felon and a criminal while he's running for the presidency.
Yeah.
And I think that's part of their goal, but then I think that also could backfire because it's galvanizing a lot of people around.
Wasn't it Elon Musk that said, go ahead and indict him, handcuff him, and that will have him win in the landslide at the election.
Yeah, you're definitely going to fire up the fan base.
Trump fans can be a little crazy.
Yeah.
So you lock him up or you put him in handcuffs, you get a perp walk or something, and it's going to be crazy.
But I know a lot of them were hoping for that.
They were hoping he'd get handcuffed and brought into court.
And it turned out to not, it was just an appearance indictment.
But yeah, the indictment was kind of weird.
It was 34 felony counts, but it's all the same count.
And they just used every time that they thought it occurred as a separate count.
When normally you would just put those into one character.
When they said these hush money payments, the crime, it's from seven years ago.
It's from right before he ran the first time.
And if it was just a misdemeanor, which it would normally be charged as, the statute of limitations has expired.
So this judge attached it to a federal charge of campaign finance violations because they were saying he was trying to influence the election by hiding it.
So it's kind of a new crime that he invented.
But Trump is on brand.
He immediately released a t-shirt.
Oh, I got to get one of those.
Not guilty mugshot.
Got to wear it around LA and see what kind of reactions it gets.
Do you have one of these shirts?
I don't have one of these yet.
Do you own any Trump NFTs?
No.
Okay.
Do you know what an NFT is?
No, what is an NFT?
It's kind of like a digital trading card.
They sell them and they make money off of it.
It's like artwork that's supposed digital artwork that's supposed to appreciate and value almost like cryptocurrency.
Got it.
Got it.
Crypto artwork, sort of.
Got it.
Yeah.
I don't know what it is.
And Trump released drawings of him as a superhero that are supposed to be NFTs that will be worth money.
And they sold out.
They did sell a ton of them.
Yeah.
Made a lot of money on that.
So, Kirk Cameron NFTs.
Hey.
When are they halfway?
That could be the next big thing.
We'll work with you.
We'll talk after.
Okay.
We'll work with you on it.
Some blue checks on Twitter became former blue checks, as Elon Musk says you need to give him $8 a month to be verified.
One of the most high-profile ones is the New York Times lost their blue check mark, despite having 55 million subs and the 24th most followed Twitter account.
That's just funny to me.
Yeah.
And Elon, I don't even know the whole story behind this, but he changed the Twitter logo to the Dogecoin logo this week.
I know.
I saw that.
Yeah.
Twitter also changed the information when you click on a blue check.
Now you can't tell who is a legacy blue check and who bought one.
So they're hiding who's paying for it.
Yeah, who's paying for it and who earned it before that?
And they also changed the logo, as you were saying, to the Dogecoin.
Are you on Twitter much, Kirk?
I'm not on Twitter very much.
Are you smart and you just avoid all social media?
I generally avoid it personally, but I use it to get the word out.
Get the word out about events.
Yeah, stuff like that.
But you don't wake up and stuff.
I don't wake up and start scrolling though.
That's probably pretty smart.
Have you bought a blue check mark?
I actually did.
Really?
Like two weeks ago.
I wanted to tweet a quote from a C.S. Lewis book.
And when you buy Twitter Blue, you get to tweet longer than 20 characters.
So it was more for that than the blue check.
Yeah.
I have a Twitter account, but other than promoting stand-up shows, I don't interact with people on Twitter much.
You just ignore them.
Oh, what's this?
Well, Kirk, you want to read this story?
Dungeons and Dragons to remove half species from player's handbook claims the entire idea is inherently racist.
So they have characters like they have races you can be like half orcs and half elves, which are like, you know, human parent, elves, and hybrid type.
And they said, no, that's a racist concept.
I don't know what the reason is.
I don't even understand how that's a racist concept.
Yeah.
So general beings can't intermate with each other.
So lead rules designer Jeremy Crawford said, our team are game designers and storytellers.
We're not experts in culture and inclusion.
So we're focused on what damage should this creature do.
That's why everything goes through inclusion review now.
So everything in our game brings out delight.
Even reprints are going through inclusion reviews.
That's why some older books are changing too.
Frankly, we are not comfortable with any of the options that start with half.
The half construction is inherently racist.
So we simply aren't going to include it in the new player's handbook.
So in Dungeons and Dragons, Barack Obama could not exist.
Right?
I guess.
But race, but race in the books isn't, it's not, it's not like different skin colors.
It's not skin color.
It's like, it's like elves or dragonborn type characters.
They're more like creature types than they are races.
So it's even stupid to even.
Yeah.
And why would that be racist anyway?
I don't get it at all.
Yeah.
That would be a mixing of species, not just race within a species, right?
Right.
But we got people trying to do that now, becoming half reptile, though, you know, and animals, dogs, cats.
And the other thing is that the half species, they often use in the DD books and stuff to kind of comment on racism.
So there'll be like a half elf that they're like, you know, and they use it to like make social commentary in a good way.
So I don't know why you would say that this is that this is racist.
I actually saw the Dungeons and Dragons movie last week.
Oh, how is it?
I thought it was awesome.
Yeah.
It was really good.
There was no sex stuff.
There was like two cuss words in the whole movie.
They have opposite standards of what makes a good movie.
Kirk Cameron could have starred in this movie.
I could have.
Yeah.
Wow.
There was like nothing really bad, and it wasn't woke at all.
That's good.
I'm always like, okay, when are they going to drop the gay character?
Yeah.
Nothing.
Gay people do not exist in this universe.
It's an interesting tolerant universe where no mixed race people or gays exist.
Have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
I never did.
I never got into it.
I think I tried it once or twice when I was a kid.
Yeah, I've never played it a whole lot.
I've played, but not in the last six months.
It's been six months.
It's been six months.
I gave that up a long time ago, November.
I have my chip.
My six-month chip.
Well, moving into sadder news, of course, Covenant Church met on Sunday after the shootings that happened at Covenant School last Monday.
It opened up with a prelude, including the statement from Reverend Britton Wood, the world has changed since the last time that we got together on the Lord's Day, but our king still reigns.
And he said in the sermon, we're here to tell you today that God is in control.
They didn't diverge from the normal liturgy, and they only alluded to the shooting where it was relevant to a particular element of worship.
My colleague preached from Luke 24, tying it to the creation of Narnia in the magician's nephew.
We're all on the road to Emmaus together right now, and we're all longing to hear Narnia awake.
So tragic, but it's always kind of inspiring to see people come back after a tragedy like this.
It is.
This is where good theology is so important.
You know, we want to love God.
We want to love people.
But when the difficult questions arise, it's theology that gives us ground to stand on.
And the cross is the ultimate object lesson for us.
We look at that and we say, how could such an innocent man be murdered this way?
And yet, out of the tragedy and the injustice of that, God purchases the salvation of the world.
And that's where our hope is rooted, is that through all these tragedies, God will somehow, in his providence, turn this for good, and we still have reasons for courage and hope.
Absolutely.
A friend of the podcast, Doug Tenaples, said, our church is a sister church of Covenant Nashville.
The youth and surrounding communities pray and share in small groups.
So many teens are coming to Christ.
What was intended for evil, God is using for good.
Evil and death never get the final play.
That's right.
So let's all keep praying for Nashville that God will work all things together for good, even if we can't see how.
Of course, we all know Romans 8, 28.
We know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
Now let's make a joke about Dylan Mulvaney.
Yeah, let's see how this works for good.
Here's our banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
This is Beverage Pretending to Be Beer features man pretending to be woman.
This was a really strong battle.
This article did really well.
And Dylan Mulvaney has now come out as a Bud Light partner, whatever that means.
Yeah.
So I guess he got a can, a commemorative can with his face on it.
Yeah, to celebrate his 365 days of girlhood or womanhood or whatever he's claiming.
And he posted a video of it with the...
But does all these companies, I wonder, is it just that there's one woke person or a group of woke people in Budweiser's marketing department that think, oh, this is a good idea?
I wonder about that.
Because it doesn't seem like the whole company would all be like, oh, this is a good spokesperson to partner with.
You got to think all the good old boys at Budweiser probably aren't into this, and there's got to be one woke person in the PR department or something.
And then everybody's afraid to stand up to them because they know they'll be called intolerant.
Isn't that crazy?
Isn't that crazy?
But that's common.
That's common in so many industries, right?
You don't want to be the one that sticks your neck out and crosses the woke narrative line, even though everyone's probably thinking the same thing.
This is crazy.
This is nuts.
What are we doing?
Why are we doing this?
Yeah, I think at Be Live Seth and Seth's speech or something, he said something about cancel culture and that we empower cancel culture by not speaking up because everybody who did like probably the majority of people are against it, but you don't want to speak up because you don't want to be the one to stick your neck out.
Well, and my experience in Hollywood was there's people who are maybe more moderate Democrats or moderately on the left, and they go along with this stuff because even they are afraid of the backlash from the pure teeth.
There's some people, you know, that they might be, you know, traditional blue-collar kind of Democrats, you know, or that's how they were raised.
But then this woke stuff, even some of them are like, we don't want to go that far, but they know they'll be criticized and called intolerant and torn down if they don't just keep going further and further to the left.
Absolutely.
And you know who's not afraid of cancel culture, though, is Kid Rock.
No, I'm sure he had a reasonable response to this.
He blew up a bunch of Bud Light with an MP5 submachine gun.
So I guess that's one way to handle it.
That's what I think a better way to handle it would, you know, if like he and Dylan Mulvaney could just sit down and talk about it man to man.
And now it's time for our bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
Man who exited elevator on wrong floor, forced to re-enter and complete remainder of ride in shame.
It's very relatable.
I like this one.
Yeah.
Although typically I, if I get off on the wrong floor, I just pretend to it until I pretend that I was on the right floor.
Yeah.
And I just wait for the next car.
That's what they call them.
You ever done this, Kirk?
Relatable?
This is done better.
Really?
Really relatable.
All right.
I've gotten off on the wrong floor many times.
I miss exits on the freeway all the time.
Just this morning, I missed an exit on the freeway.
My wife told me, Aren't you supposed to get off there?
I'm like, someone who's famous and is somewhat recognizable.
Do you worry more about that stuff?
Because I think, you know, if I step off an elevator and get back on, nobody's going to be careful.
And then everybody's going to go, hey, remember that time Kirk Cameron got off the elevator on the wrong floor?
Yeah, I just commit to it.
Yeah.
I just walk down the hall like I know where I'm going.
Yeah, you got to let me.
I take the stairs.
That's what it is.
All right.
Well, now it's time for Sizzler Facts.
Hey, this is a special Sizzler Facts.
Today we are celebrating one year of choices.
It has officially been a full year of the most celebrated segment in all of podcast history, Sizzler Facts.
Many members of the Sizzler Fact community have wondered why there is no intro jingle for Sizzler Facts.
The reason is simple.
There is no real reason.
However, on this very special anniversary, we threw together a really quick little jingle just to make this segment a little extra sizzling for you.
So before we read this week's Sizzler Fact, please enjoy this very new Sizzler Facts intro.
All across America, the song of freedom rings.
A song that's growing stronger every day.
It tells us where we listen to the message that it sings.
Let us lift our voices.
We can make the choices.
We will make the most of all the best.
The freedom breaks.
Jesus is the one that brings us choices.
Reaching out across the USA, get a little freedom in your life All over America, and even California, a quiet revolution has been taking place.
More and more, both parents are working and raising families.
Life seems to be moving faster than ever.
And Americans and Californians have rediscovered, are redefining what's really important in their lives.
They want quality in their personal life, in their business life, in the goods they purchase, and in the food they eat.
They want good, basic home cooking, quality food, and they want choices, variety, all at a reasonable price.
Americans and Californians want value.
Sizzler brings the choices that you've been looking for, giving you the right to choose forever by holding to traditions and changing with the times.
Changing with the times, y'all.
Choices and selections.
Choices of direction.
Choices that can let a little freedom in your life.
Sizzler is the choice of America.
Sizzler gives you choices every day.
That's the Sizzler way.
Get a little freedom.
Your life.
Sizzler Steakhouse and the Babylon Bee.
A perfect combination.
But don't just take my word for it.
Let's hear what they have to say for themselves.
Hi, I'm Kyle Mann, the editor-in-chief of the Babylon Bee, and Sizzler is the cheesy toast of my heart.
Hi, this is Travis, and I just want to say that eating at Sizzler Steakhouse is like getting hit by a bus of flavor.
Hey, I'm Brandon, and my last Sizzler steak was better than my last steak from Flemings.
This is Fettina, and as a professional nurse, I recommend the tiny Sizzler corn.
This is Dan Coates, and Sizzler has been a buffet of blessings in my life.
It's Chandler, and Sizzler is the greatest restaurant known to man.
And that's a fact.
Jared here.
And when I'm at Sizzler, all my troubles melt away.
And I even forget I'm Paul.
We don't Sizzler.
We don't Sizzler.
This is Emma, and Sizzler is a restaurant.
Sizzler is the choice of America.
Sizzler gives you choices every day.
It's forgetting to Sizzler ways.
Get a little freedom in.
Your Sizzling Your Light Sizzler.
Sizzler Facts.
Well, that was something.
That was something that was really, it makes you appreciate all that Sizzler and Sizzler facts.
Yeah, absolutely.
Kirk, would you like the honor of reading the Sizzler Fact this week?
Oh, really?
Yeah, I get to do it.
Yeah, this is.
Oh, you're a Sizzler Facts.
You get to do the special Sizzler Fact today.
Okay.
Here we go.
This week's Sizzler Fact.
Sizzler Facts is canceled.
This has been Sizzler Facts.
Wow, way to bring down the room, Kirk.
No, are we canceling it, I guess?
This is the last.
Wow.
Wow.
That's kind of a donor.
Interesting.
All right, well now it's time for weekly news with Adam Jenser.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
A Russian officer who recently defected said Vladimir Putin is now paranoid, lives in a bunker, and is terrified of COVID.
He's basically become pandemic era Joe Biden.
In a new interview, Bill Clinton said he regrets convincing Ukraine to disarm and that Russia probably wouldn't have invaded if Ukraine still had nuclear weapons.
The reporter then said, oh no, that's not the news story we want your expertise on.
Donald Trump was charged on Tuesday with 34 felonies related to hush money payments to cover his alleged affairs with porn star Stormy Daniels and Playboy model Karen McDougall.
Honestly, I'm tired of doing dirty jokes about this story, so I'll just report the facts.
All of these charges against Trump rest on the key witness, Mr. Mr. Pecker.
While discussing his plans for the future of Apple, CEO Tim Cook said, we don't want people using our phones too much, to which the CEO of Android responded, hey, that's our business model.
According to Forbes New Rankings, Elon Musk has fallen to the second richest man in the world behind Bernard Arnold.
Elon was then spotted panhandling in a Walmart parking lot.
A new analysis of 40 years of research found that moderate drinking provides no health benefits whatsoever.
So I guess I'll try heavy drinking instead.
According to a new report, CNN's Don Lemon once sent a threatening text message to a female coworker that said, now you've crossed the line and you're going to pay for it.
The line she reportedly crossed was turning 40.
Another female coworker described Don Lemon as rude, dismissive, and really unfamiliar with the news content being discussed, which can't be true.
He was literally texting with Jussie Smollett as the Jussie Smollett news was happening.
The Columbia chapter of the National Lawyer Guild complained that by letting students meet with Justice Brett Kavanaugh, they were normalizing white supremacist patriarchal violence in the law.
But Kavanaugh insists he didn't even talk about law.
They just played Flip Cup and pounded some beers.
In a new documentary, Pope Francis described sex as one of the most beautiful things that God has given to the human person.
He then added, I mean, just look at these pictures.
That's it for weekly news.
To see more, check out my YouTube channel and come see me live.
I'll be at the Funny Farm in Ohio April 7th and at the Comedy Chateau in North Hollywood April 14th.
Hey, thanks, Adam Jenser.
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Hey, Mr. Postman, what's in the mailbag?
Now it's time for a question from our mailbag.
Oh, this is a long question.
Babylon Bee, I was so happy to hear Jared Adam and Kyle talk about their Bible reading, and the short discussion was one of the best things I have gotten out of subscribing.
I think I like the discussion so much because it was low-key Christian leadership by example, and nobody had to preach about the poor state of biblical literacy in America.
Our Christians who wonder why their growth is stalled when they never read their Bibles.
I encourage you to get out from behind the paywall.
To finish up, I wanted to pass along two resources that have increased my joy in reading the Bible.
First, a chronological Bible helped me put so many world events in context.
And I especially like it when I get to the Gospels and see how the writer emphasized different things about the same events in the life of Jesus.
Second, the Bible Project has done so much to fill in the historical and cultural context of every book in the Bible.
Did you have any idea that the Bible wasn't written specifically for English-speaking Americans in the 21st century?
In Christ, Jared No, also known as Holy Diver.
So, Kyle, Adam, and Kirk Cameron, what have you been reading in the Bible lately?
What is God saying to you?
Oh, someone wrote that.
I think he didn't write that.
Kirk, you get to preach now.
Well, he just said that that's what he appreciated.
He's like, no, we're not preaching.
Sure, you get it.
You know, to be honest, yesterday I was sitting around my campfire in the backyard, and I was reading Psalms 145 to 150.
That's the end of the book of Psalms.
And the theme is of praise, praising God.
All his works praise him.
His character praises.
Let everything that has birth praise.
Praise the Lord.
Yeah.
And what I really thought was so striking about it is that often we think of praise as something like, oh, Lord, I got a raise today.
Or, oh, Lord, I'm still healthy today.
I praise you for the good things that you're sending my way.
But the psalmist there is praising God for just his character, no matter what comes his way, praises him for his works, not just the good things that are enjoyable, but for everything because he's the blessed controller of all things, working it all for good, even the bad stuff.
And so the theme is praise God.
And that's really the legacy that I want to leave to my kids.
We often think of leaving a legacy of having done great things or even obedience to God.
But I'm thinking, no, I want to leave a legacy of praise to God, to my children, so that they can say, you know, even when these difficult things happened, Dad continued to praise God.
Why?
Not because it was easy, but because he believes in the character of God and that everything he does, he does well.
And that's just been having an impact on me.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, when I started trying to read through the Bible again, like a little under a year ago, it was doing like a psalm and a proverb and a New Testament.
Yeah, a little bit of everything, but the Psalms are just something you can read every morning.
Yeah.
And then to think of those things being set to music and sung as psalms, some of them war songs, is just amazing.
I know people have done some projects where they set all the psalms to music.
There's been different ones of those psalters and stuff.
I've never really tried to go through and like sing through some of those.
I know some like Chris Tomlin will steal a line from it and put it into a model.
Other than that, I haven't done too much of that.
Right.
You know, maybe we could get like ChatGPT to like put something together for all of the songs.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Put it to music.
To set the Psalms to music.
Yeah.
And then you guys could sing those here on the Babylon B.
It would be awesome.
Yeah.
Does ChatGPT set things to music?
It probably could.
Can it write music?
Can it do anything?
I think you can't.
It's kind of scary.
Do you guys even write your own jokes here at the Babylon B?
No.
You guys are probably just using ChatGPT.
I give up on writing a long time ago.
Have you seen our AOC article generator?
We have an AOC article generator that's built on ChatGPT where it generates the headline and the whole article.
That's awesome.
Yeah, check that out.
I started reading the book of Ezekiel this week.
Yeah.
So I didn't understand anything.
Okay.
But I think that's cool.
You know, like when he's seen the vision of the crazy wheel thing and it's flying around, flying all over the earth and all this.
Yeah.
Realizing how small we are and how big God is and how holy he is.
It's just crazy.
Yeah.
One of my joys over the last five years of reading the Bible is, so I became a Christian when I was 17.
So it's been like 35 years now.
And when I first started reading the Bible, I studied at, I had a John MacArthur study Bible.
And so, you know, John will take, you know, 10 years just to get through the book of John in the Bible, right?
Because he's going one, two verses per Sunday, which never gave me the big meta narrative of the entire scripture.
And so now that I've had so many little Bible verses studied in my brain and I'm stepping back to look and reading faster and more in one sitting, I'm getting more of the narrative.
And all of a sudden, all this stuff is popping into my mind.
I've got like this mental con a mental concordance now to where I read something here in Matthew 24 and boom, I'm going back to Isaiah and Ezekiel.
I'm thinking, oh, that sounds like this, that sounds like that.
And then symbolism starts to make sense and that begins to give context to weird passages and define them.
And I'm thinking, this is really cool.
It just gets better and better reading the Bible.
Yeah.
Get Bible pilled.
People.
Yeah, you saturate your mind with enough scripture and it becomes like a sponge full of water.
All you have to do is just touch it and it just oozes out over the sides.
And it's really, really a cool thing.
Well, that was uplifting and encouraging.
Now it's time for hate mail.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
This is from Frida's boss on Twitter.
And they shared our article, which was, Judge for Trump trial revealed to be a kangaroo in a powdered wig.
And this person says, I'll never get over the fact that the Babylon Bee is supposed to be funny.
I don't get it.
It's like a six-year-old making a joke.
They just say the two things they can think of in as quick succession as possible.
I mean, I think it's.
So what was the two things we thought of there, a kangaroo and a powdered wig?
And we just mashed them down.
I think the joke is that a kangaroo is wearing a wig.
Yeah.
It's just kind of whether or not you like Trump.
It's a good visual.
Here's one from Eastern Towhey fan page.
The article was, Chiropractor promises he'll have you good as new after 328 more visits.
And this person wrote, Heartbreaking, worst news satire site you know just made a good post.
Sort of hate.
I always like those when they're like, I hate you guys.
Yeah, that's a funny thing.
That was funny.
Wait till she sees the kangaroo in the powdered wig.
She'll like two posts from us.
All right, everyone.
Thank you for watching.
Stay tuned if you're your subscriber.
Thanks for coming in, Kirk.
This is my pleasure.
Yeah, it's awesome having you here.
Thanks for the award.
Yeah, that's great, man.
So we're going to keep chatting with Kirk behind the paywall for a few minutes.
Stay tuned if you're a subscriber.
We have a second set of 10 questions for Kirk Cameron, plus extra special questions because we get to talk to Kirk Cameron.
And we're going to see which subscriber headlines of the week make Kirk Cameron laugh.
Use promo code podcast if you want to join us for 20% off.
And let's do it.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
Oh, we got a few bonus questions for Kirk.
Is Hillary Clinton the Antichrist?
How old is the earth?
Kevin Sorbo put out a new Left Behind movie.
Who did it better, you or him?
What is your favorite dinosaur?
Ooh.
You are given a gospel tract and Ray Comfort.
You can go back in time and convert any three people to Christianity.
Finally, 10, you get to heaven.
What's the first question you are asking God?
This has been another edition of the Babylon Bee Podcast from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that fake news of the people, by the people,