The Babylon Bee Podcast: Right-Wing Memes and Halloween
The Babylon Bee looks into whether or not the Right can meme and also talks about celebrating pagan holidays like Halloween. There's lots of news this week like Elon Musk finalizing his purchase of Twitter, Kanye West 'going death con 3 on the Jewish people', and Alex Jones being ordered to pay $1 billion dollars for conspiracy theories. Hillary Clinton is already denying the 2024 elections, John Fetterman might have some slight brain damage, and Ted Cruz may actually be the Zodiac Killer. This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: Better Help Online Counseling PublicSq App Allegiance Gold There's Weakly News, Sizzler Facts, and articles on the Bee that are banging and bombing. Joe Biden is also warning that we're going to die unless we get a booster every year, while New York must restore with back pay all the employees they fired over the vaccine mandates.
We all know the left can't meme, but can the right?
Halloween.
Is it good?
We report.
You decide.
Elon Musk is finalizing the Twitter deal.
Save us, Elon.
You're our only hope.
Well, except for Jesus.
Is Ted Cruz the Zodiac killer?
The Babylon Bee is on the case.
Alex Jones has been sentenced to death.
Well, he's just paying a billion dollars.
All this and more on the B weekly.
And now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp.
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That's betterhelph-e-l-p.com slash Babylon B. Hey everybody, welcome to the Babylon B podcast.
It is Halloween coming up in a couple days, so you can see.
I am dressed up in my Halloween costume.
I've got my Batman costume.
The other guys were just finishing up getting ready with their Halloween costumes.
Big fun day in the Babylon Bee office.
Everyone dresses up.
It's a great time.
You guys ready?
Are you guys all?
Hey, what's this?
Were we supposed to?
You guys not?
Were we supposed to?
What is this?
Well, Halloween's like.
I just didn't.
I thought that was this weekend.
Memo.
Yeah, I didn't know we were supposed to dress up.
Oh, we're not.
Adam and I never talked about this either.
Okay, I guess we'll just let you look, you know, it looks good.
Thanks, guys.
Is this taped together here?
Yeah, thanks.
I accidentally cut my abs.
My abs.
Fighting crime?
Is that one of the form-fitting costumes?
No, they had the one with the fake muscles, but I just got the...
You didn't go for the George Clooney nipples.
No, no nipples.
Well, I have nipples, but they're not visible.
Right.
They're not visible.
I don't see his belly.
That's a great costume.
Thanks.
Yeah.
I wore my Rancho Kookamonga Jones test.
Oh, yeah, you were talking about that.
Yeah, the California's version of Punk's Tony Phil.
That's awesome.
I wore my Rick Crimes jacket.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
But it's not like a Halloween costume.
No.
It's just what I wear normally.
Well, you know, that's a thing.
If you guys didn't see our latest episode in our Californians Move to Texas series, we got Ted Cruz on.
Our big cameo.
Our big cameo appearance.
That was fun.
You could see the letter that he wrote.
And we got it signed there behind Jared's head.
Yeah, it's the Zodiac killer note.
I love that he was willing to joke about that.
Yeah, he was awesome in that sketch, and it's so fun that he has a sense of human beings.
He's a really funny actor.
Yeah.
I thought he was really good.
Well, I mean, you know.
We're not going to cast him for any other part.
Well, we wouldn't cast him as Satan.
I mean, that requires a real actor.
Just do a recurring thing where he's always the zodiac killer.
Killer and all that.
It's kind of like how Mark Hamill only ever played Mark Hamill after Star Wars.
Well, Tom Cruise only ever plays Tom Cruise.
I mean, there's a lot of guys that just play themselves.
Keanu Reeves.
There are.
Yeah, I mean, but Mark Hamill literally would only appear as like Mark himself.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Hi, I'm Mark Hamill.
Support abortion.
And he voiced your nemesis.
Yeah, and he voiced.
Oh, Joke.
That's right.
He was the joker.
Yeah, which he did a great job at.
He did.
He was fantastic.
I loved him as the joker.
Well, it is Halloween in a few days.
We'll talk about that a little bit and some crazy Halloween costumes.
And we'll talk about if Halloween's evil or not.
And also, we are going, you know, we do, we've done a couple of segments now, the left can't meme, where we look at leftist memes and see if they're funny or not.
We're going to do the right can't meme, and we're going to see.
These are bad right-wing memes.
Supposedly.
I haven't seen them.
We never see these ahead of time, so we'll see whether they make us laugh or not.
Yeah.
How cringy are they?
That's how cringy.
What level of cringe?
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They're called Instagram page.
Page profile.
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Guys, midterms is coming up, and we still have the Babylon B Guide to Democracy for you to pick up that has lots of great illustrations.
It's a lot of fun, a lot of fun to write.
And so please check that out.
It's a great gift for midterms.
You want to give someone a gift for you.
You want to give your wife or your kids or your husband something for the midterms.
It's uncles aunts.
Yeah.
You don't want to wake up on election day and your wife goes, what'd you get me?
And you're like, wow.
I forgot the day already.
I thought our midterms were in July.
Yeah, that's how did we, man, every year.
Yeah.
Well, let's check out what's in the news this week.
What's in the news this week?
So here's this story from the New York Post.
Biden gets his fifth COVID booster, says virus still threat weeks after calling the pandemic over.
It looks like he's enjoying the shot in that picture.
Is that weird?
It looks like he's like, oh, yeah, give me more of that mRNA.
I love it.
I love it.
It looks like AOC.
Sweet, sweet gene therapy, baby.
It's all that keeps me.
It's all that's keeping him going.
I did think that was AOC when I first saw this out of the picture.
But she's got a mask on.
That's why.
But it is funny that they're pushing this booster stuff still.
I even heard on CNN, I was listening to CNN on the radio this morning.
And like, even the networks that were pushing the vaccine stuff, this information's coming out now where they're like, yeah, this one isn't as effective as they said it would be.
The last one was more effective.
I don't know any do you guys know anyone who's still keeping up with like each booster that you're supposed to get?
Not that I know of, unless someone is and just isn't talking about it.
You know, I may know people that like just do their regular doctor's appointments and they're like, you should get the booster.
I'm like, okay, but I don't know anybody that's like intentionally, have you gotten your boosters?
Have you gotten them?
You know what a great way to get around the vax mandates out here would have been if you would go to your doctor with one of these with like the padded muscles and be like, hey, here we are.
Give me the COVID vaccine.
Yeah, that's good.
I said, all right, now sign my card.
And I would make him think it was really going in by doing the expression that Biden's doing.
Yeah, you'd be like, oh, I feel it.
That's good stuff.
Ow.
You can't fake it.
And then you'd look at the costume.
The next day, and it would just be acid melted away where the vaccine went in.
Like, what's in this?
Yeah.
That's funny.
Now, I think I know people that are just walking around ashamed of the fact that they were so passionate about this.
I don't know if I know people that are ashamed yet, yeah, but I definitely know people that were really passionate about it earlier.
I'm like, you have to get it.
You have to get it.
And now they're kind of like, I don't know.
Maybe I won't.
Maybe I won't.
Biden has called for everyone to get a booster once per year.
They're trying to turn this into the new flu shot thing where you get it every year.
Which that I think, you know, regardless of people's feelings one way or the other, that makes sense.
That's kind of what my doctor told me early on when I talked to him personally about whether I should get the vaccine.
He was like, you know, you had it already.
You'll have natural immunity for a while.
Eventually, this will turn into like a flu where you just, if you want, you get the vaccine every year.
Let's hope, man.
Let's hope.
I'm watching Dope Sick with Michael Keaton right now.
And just the process.
Michael Keaton?
Yeah, Michael Keaton.
Michael Keaton.
I see what you did there.
Anyway, so Dope Sick is a really good show on Hulu.
It's like the third best Batman.
Tracks the, I mean, I'll get to this eventually, but no, it tracks the process of, was it OxyCotton?
Like, how OxyCotton made it to the shelves and how it became this massive pandemic of addiction and stuff like that.
But how the FDA and all of these big pharma work together is so corrupt and so messed up that like, I don't understand.
They've just released this.
I don't understand how they got away with releasing this right now because it's so apparent that the whole process is so messed up that how do you trust anything that comes out of these people?
Like the FDA approval on something is almost like a problem.
Is the premise that it's a money grab that they're just trying to do?
It was.
Yeah, the pharmaceutical companies.
And, you know, obviously it's entertainment, so who knows like exactly.
But like these guys just went to jail.
A lot of them went to jail.
The Sickler family, like they came up with OxyCotton and the longtime release system that was supposed to make it less addictive and it didn't work and it made everybody addicted and it destroyed entire towns and cities and things like that.
So all that to say.
There's a weird disconnect where people on the left are like anti-corporations and anti-government supposedly.
And then when you get to vaccines, it's like, yeah, whatever they want.
But the company said this, so it must be true.
We better do it.
Yeah, we trust Pfizer.
It's like, why would you, why?
Why do you trust Pfizer?
I don't understand.
Why do you trust the FDA?
They lied so many times.
Yeah, so anyway, I guess you guys can figure out where I stand on this stuff.
There's also a Biden quote there.
I'm just reading this out.
It says, almost everyone who will die from COVID this year will not be up to date on their shots.
I guess he always takes a dark turn.
Like last year, it was the winter of the winter of severe illnesses.
It's like almost everyone who will die from COVID.
Well, Hillary Clinton said right-wing extremists already have a plan to literally steal the next presidential election.
Dang it, dude.
I don't understand.
Like, you're not supposed to talk about how the left be stolen.
What right-wing extremists are talking to Hillary about this?
Like, God, she's like, all my right-wing extremists are not.
That's a conspiracy theory, but they won't call it that when it's the left doing it.
Look at her face.
Look at her face.
Look at her dumb face.
What a dumb face.
So mad.
You know, she's like 75.
I can't believe that people on the left even still want to pay attention to her.
She's just such an off-putting person.
Nobody likes her.
Does anybody still want to hear this stuff?
Yeah.
She warned that the right-wing-controlled Supreme Court would ultimately grant state legislatures the power to overturn presidential elections.
Okay.
I've never heard about that before.
She said, if that happens, 2024 presidential election will not be decided by the popular vote or even by the anachronistic Electoral College, but by state legislators, adding that many of the state legislatures were under Republican control.
So she's just planting the seeds for another, like, whatever, quote-unquote, insurrection.
And, you know, justice.
And I think there's definitely like, you know, you have to walk the line because I think people should have a healthy skepticism of government and stuff like that.
But they can't just undermine our trust in like all of our institutions.
It's like, well, if a Republican gets someone on the Supreme Court, we can't trust the Supreme Court anymore.
Well, if the legislators are controlled by Republicans, we can't trust the legislator anymore.
It's ridiculous.
That's right.
Speaking of ridiculous, Elon Musk plans to close the Twitter deal on Friday.
That's today for most of the people watching this.
So he tweeted out a, I think it's a video of him going into Twitter headquarters carrying a sink.
And he says, entering Twitter headquarters, let that sink in.
Let that sink in.
And now it's in.
On this one, I would say the right can't meme.
Is this the first, is this the first of the first of the right can't meme judge?
Yeah, I feel like this isn't the best Elon Musk joke.
I do kind of appreciate the commitment to the joke.
Like he told his driver, like, I do like to get away from the people, get a sick.
Maybe he spent his $44 billion just to get this joke.
Yeah.
Just to do this joke.
So.
It's true.
All right.
Well.
But he had some good tweets there.
He said, think about who might have decided the current thing before accepting it.
Maybe it was a social media algorithm, not even people.
Who decides the current thing?
Real question.
I don't know.
Those are things to consider because I find like a lot of stuff that like I don't use Twitter much, but it seems like people I know on both sides of the political spectrum, they think whatever anyone's talking about on Twitter or whatever point of view, it's like this is what everyone's talking about.
This is the view we have to debate right now.
It is it does seem like it's orchestrated.
It seems like there's other programmers or an algorithm that can just go, this is what I want everyone to talk about.
Yeah, this is what we should focus on today.
Yeah.
That's right.
Well, let that sink in.
Yeah.
And it might be a big change for us in the next couple of weeks.
Yeah.
Possibly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Going.
We're hoping.
We have a lot of content that we can post.
Elon is our only hope.
Elon, help us.
And if anybody watched, John Fetterman and Mehmet Oz had a debate on Tuesday night in the PA gubernator, not gubernator, that's the Senate race.
Stroke became the trending term on Twitter with over 117,000 tweets talking about the debate.
But then there were 5,000 tweets trending on ableism.
Because it's ableism to point out that he couldn't get a sentence.
I mean, pointing out that he had a stroke, I guess, is I think putting him in the race for the Democrats is probably the bad thing.
It is like, I disagree with him, and I also feel bad for him.
I feel bad for him, too.
It's like, what if they put a terminal cancer patient up as their like as their candidate and they like wheel him out and you're like, honestly, I don't think that he's in any shape to be the senator.
And they're like, ableism.
Yeah.
You can't criticize.
Why are you criticizing a cancer patient?
But it's like not being able to string a sentence together is a prerequisite for being a Democratic nominee right now.
That's true.
Biden probably thought he made perfect sense.
It's like, I get it.
I get it.
So articulate.
That's making a lot of sense.
I really like him.
I like him.
Is this a Biden accent?
Is that what that is?
No.
I don't really.
No, no.
I'll have to work on that.
Thank you.
Did you see Fetterman's first statement was like, hi.
Hi, I'm John Fetterman.
Good night, everyone.
Oh, that was an interesting debate.
cringed like i was just like this is gonna go well yeah It's over.
This is going to be a long hour or two or whatever.
Made longer by the long pauses between.
Yeah, that was watching that.
Well, the New York Supreme Court judge has ordered unvaccinated New York City employees reinstated and given back pay and has ruled COVID-19 firings unconstitutional.
So we're just rolling back everything that happened in the last two weeks.
We're just undoing it.
We destroyed your lives.
Now, I read a few stories about this.
Do you guys know?
So this is for city employees, like police officers, firefighters, people that are employed by the government.
I know it's not from this ruling, but will this have any impact on schools or private businesses?
Can they cite this ruling?
I mean, you get those people challenging and say, hey, we shouldn't have been fired just because we wouldn't get this vaccine.
And when I read this story, one of the reasons the judge overturned it was because they found that the vaccine does not keep you from getting COVID.
All the claims that they made to try to push it, they were pretty much false.
Yeah, and they fired firefighters, police officers, and other first responders of city employees.
And they did not accept any religious exemptions, such as those who believe in stem cells for unboarded children were using the vaccine's development, other religious reasons.
So, well, that's a good development.
It is a good development.
To know who that Supreme Court judge was and if they have a history of voting conservative, or is this a yeah, or is this somebody that actually was looking at the facts and is like, all right, yeah, I think this is actually what I don't know.
Interesting to know.
It's like Oxycontin.
It's your turn to read a story, Jarek.
A bunch of lies.
Sorry about that.
And meanwhile, in the great country of China, Emperor Zhi just had his predecessor, Hu Jintao, hauled out of the CCP summit on live TV in full view of everyone.
Goodness.
This is what you do to your political opponents.
It's pretty crazy.
I mean, I don't know enough about Chinese politics to know what it means.
But they censored the live stream in China and they've censored CNN from broadcasting it in China.
But so Hu Jintao, the former president, is like sitting at a table and in the middle of this like summit, some guy comes up behind him and like taps him on the shoulder and like lifts him up to kind of get him to leave.
And it looks like he doesn't want to leave.
And he sets some paper down in front of Xi Jinping and then like pats some other guy on the shoulder and they just like escort him out.
But China is not reporting on like that this even happened.
Yeah.
So we'll never hear from him again.
Probably.
Oh, that's the other thing.
The excuse afterwards was they said he's like the official Chinese state media excuse was he wasn't feeling well and he was escorted out, but they haven't heard anything from him since then.
Because that's usually what happens when you're not feeling well.
Someone comes and tells you and tells them.
You're not feeling well.
Excuse me.
Well, maybe in clearly you're not feeling well at this time.
That's how they do things.
You know, you don't want to admit it when you're not feeling well.
Yeah.
So we have a big dust up between Kanye West and the Jews.
Can we still say Kanye?
Is that dead naming?
Because isn't he?
He's Yi now.
He's like, yay, Yi, Yee, Yay.
I say Yi.
Is it Yee or Y?
I always say Yi, but I don't know.
It's Yeezy.
But he officially changed his name.
Is it YE?
Is that pronounced Yi or Ye?
I say Ye.
I say Yi.
I think it's Yi because his album, Yeezy.
Yeah.
So if you just say Kanye, and then you would say Yay.
Oh, yay.
I'm going to go with Yi.
Nah, I get what you're saying.
So he said he was going Death Con Defcon 3.
DEF CON.
And big capital letters, Jewish people.
I like how he used Jewish people and not the Jews.
Yeah.
I got a more politically.
Yeah, no, yeah.
You're supposed to say Jewish people.
You're not supposed to say Jews like I'm not sure.
I think you just did.
I like how you said that.
You literally said Kanye West is getting canceled by the Jews.
And you said, wait, can we say Kanye West?
That's the offensive part.
That was the offensive part.
The Jews.
Kanye.
I mean, sorry, Yi West has claimed that the Jewish underground media mafia is out to get him.
Every celebrity has Jewish people on their contract.
This is not hate speech.
This is the truth.
I mean, that is, I worked it out.
That is true.
I'm not saying it's bad, but yeah.
There's still the movers and the shakers in Hollywood.
They hold a lot of people in the world.
And enterprise.
I have two minds because it's like you can definitely say, like, you can observe the facts.
Yes.
There's a lot of Jewish people.
I'm just saying it's entertainment or whatever.
And without saying, therefore, it is a massive conversation.
Therefore, I'm going to go DEF CON 3.
Well, and also on an entire people group.
You got to be careful about that, Yeezy.
Yeah, that's ended up in bad things before.
Yeah.
Yeah, we don't want to do that.
It is kind of funny, though, because he says, these people, if you say anything out of line with the agenda, then your career could be over.
What does he mean by that?
I do find what I've said before about this, and I find weird, is like, I don't agree with his take on Jewish people and that it's somehow negative for them to be.
I'm very relieved.
I'm relieved to hear that.
When these outlets like Twitter and Instagram and stuff like suspend his account, you can say things about so many other religions.
Like you can criticize Mormons.
You can criticize Scientologists.
If you posted about how Scientologists are involved in Hollywood, you wouldn't get suspended for that.
I've seen people make negative comments about Christians all over Twitter before and Facebook.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it's like they're inconsistent with, you know, you're allowed to make fun of these groups, you're allowed to criticize these groups, you're allowed to say violence about them.
Yeah, but oh, no, this group, that is cross-the line.
There is a bit of a history and a recent history with kind of linking the Jews and the people group and anti-Semitism creating what it did.
So I don't know.
I think that's the reason why.
I think it's more people are highly sensitive to what's happened in the last hundred years.
But yeah, but you're right, though.
What happened in the last hundred?
Oh, have you not heard?
I'm just kidding.
Batman.
Batman.
So, although I do not subscribe to any kind of like Jews are controlling society conspiracy theory, I do think it was funny because he said your career could be over if you criticize these people.
He was then suspended on Twitter and dropped by Antidas Gaff Footlocker, Def Jam Recordings, MRC, Film TV, Studios, CAA, Talent Agency, and various other people who partnered with him on business ventures.
That's a funny, like, satirical headline that actually happened.
Yeah.
This is what happened to Mel Gibson, too.
Now, this guy tweeted out because it's kind of funny.
Jeremy Kaufman tweeted: if you replace the word whiteness with Jewishness, pretty much every major news publication sounds exactly like Kanye.
Yeah, that's so here's some edited headlines: The Guardian: How Jewishness Poses the Greatest Threat to U.S. Democracy.
The root: Jewishness is a pandemic.
So, I guess they really published these are real headlines that said whiteness and whiteness.
Whiteness is a pandemic, I guess, was a real thing.
America's problem is Jewish people keep backing the Republican Party.
Oh my gosh.
Some of those work better than others, but I think this.
I do like the whiteness is a pandemic, was an actual headline by the root.
The sister publication of The Onion, I might add, which is nice.
The Jewishness of Wealth.
And here's a great headline from the Babylon B: Kanye incinerated by Jewish space laser.
There's a Jewish space laser blowing up.
He's wearing Adidas's right now.
Oh, he's wearing AZ's.
It must have been before he got canceled.
I think he's assuming they come confiscate all his Adidas when that happens.
I wonder.
Well, I saw that there's like a scramble to get those Zeezy shoes on eBay and online now because Chandler was just trying to buy some chandlers in the other room is trying to buy some.
That's funny.
And Alex Jones is now demanding a new trial after a judge ordered him to pay $965 million to families of Sandy Hook shooting victims who say they were targets of threats and harassment due to conspiracy theories and lies he peddled on his program.
The amount of the compensatory damages award exceeds any rational relationships to the evidence offered at trial.
Jones's lawyers, Norman Pattis, and Kevin Smith, not clerks, Kevin Smith.
I was going to say I didn't know he was into that now.
He's representing Kevin Smith.
He's representing Alex Jones.
This whole thing is crazy.
It's weird.
You know, it's like, on the one hand, you don't want to defend Alex Jones.
On the other hand, it's like a billion dollars seems a bit like I can't stand Alex Jones.
I just, I don't liked anything he said.
I don't watch him.
Right.
The thing is, I don't think I followed this trial closely enough to know how much direct instigation did he put out there because his followers were actually going to these people's houses and like calling them and harassing them and stuff.
And yeah, I think there doesn't, there has to be penalties for that sort of behavior.
But I don't think I followed it closely enough to know how much of his like if he's just putting conspiracy theories out there, I think it's stupid, but I don't know if that's a billion dollars liability stupid.
Well, I mean, $10 million beach, maybe.
Who knows?
And the other thing is when juries award ridiculous amounts, it's either reduced later by the judge because they're like, well, there's a statute of I'm going to butcher the legal term, but there's a statute where you can't go above that.
There's a cap on damages that you can reclaim.
And the other thing is that even if there isn't a cap, it just gives Alex Jones more fuel for his appeal to go a billion dollars is ridiculous on his face giving it more absurd if they had awarded him 10 million or 50 million, it wouldn't be so absurd on its face and he wouldn't really have a chance for an appeal.
I've always wondered how this works too when you get a massive payout like this where you know Alex Jones isn't worth anywhere close to it.
Like, how do you file bankruptcy and then you just file?
Yeah, right.
I think you can't escape these.
Oh, really?
So, yeah, so it's like the rest of his life he's just paying out of his so he always has to pay more into it.
So he will never, he'll just always, all of his money will be going to well, they have, they'll have liens and like garnish his wages where like he's allowed to keep something to live off and then the rest he can always wonder that.
Well, here's our Babylon B banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
Top 10 outdated family traditions and what you can replace them with.
Here's the first one.
Old, thanking God for providing this meal.
New, thanking the government for providing this meal.
Thank you, government.
Here's the next one.
Old, taking kids to an art museum.
New, gluing kids to the wall in an art museum to protest climate change.
All right, here's one.
Old, going to church.
New, going to family-friendly drag shows.
Here's one: old, carving the turkey on Thanksgiving.
New, carving the crickets.
Old, handing over the keys to his first car.
New, handing over his government-issued public transportation card.
It's a special moment.
Old, playing out in the mud.
New, vaccinating your infant 70 times and hoping for the best.
Okay.
Old, old display.
Telling your kids not to smoke.
New, begging them to smoke so they don't vape.
Old, watching Lord of the Rings.
New, watching Rings of Power.
Sad.
Yeah.
That's a big contrast.
Old, teaching your kids they can be anything.
New, teaching your kids they are mentally ill victims.
And finally, old bedtime stories.
And new, oh no, you don't even have kids.
That's sad.
You don't have family.
That's like I woke up, it was a dream the whole time.
Yeah.
The bomb of the men.
I'm just picturing like the person reading that.
They're losing their mind and they've been like doing all this stuff with a doll.
Like you don't have kids and reality like sets in and their psychosis disappears.
Like, no, what is my life?
Shutter eyelid situation.
Wait, it was all a dream.
And we also have a bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
Dad locks himself in office after Family Asleep to listen to new Taylor Swift album.
That's a good one.
And it says in the notes here: this is another autobiographical Kyle Bomb.
This wasn't actually my headline, and I haven't listened to Taylor Swift since Reputation.
So, you know, if that were 1989 was her last great album.
Yeah, I agree.
1989 was good.
It was a good album.
Yeah, I got into it, but if it were Britney Spears, that would make sense for me.
Oh, okay.
I do like a Britney Spears album.
Yeah, I do.
I think 1989 was a great album, but I don't listen to Taylor Swift regularly since then.
Yeah, once you just did it, like, look what you made me do in those singles.
I'm not interested in that.
Yeah, Why You Gotta Be So Mean was a really good song.
That's probably it.
Remember that when she did that at the Grammys or something?
Shandler has just informed us that Taylor Swift is teasing her new album, and the male love interest in the album, I guess, is a trans man.
So it's a lady dressed like a dude.
So this is Taylor Swift is now a lesbian.
You heard it here first.
Yeah, all right.
Well, that's enough of Taylor Swifts.
Now it's time for Sizzler Facts.
Sizzler Facts.
Americans are discovering that if we want to change the nation, we have to change the way the marketplace works.
And that change starts with you, with your local communities, and with your wallet.
Be deliberate with your dollars and reject woke corporations.
Imagine a world in which every single dollar you spend would go towards companies that share your values for life, liberty, and patriotism.
Now, with the Public Square app, you can.
Public SQ, or Public Square, is an app and website that connects freedom-loving Americans to the community and companies that share their values.
Engage in a nationwide platform with the largest directory of patriotic businesses and consumers, all while accessing exclusive savings at businesses that see the world the way you do.
The marketplace is free to join for consumers and business owners alike.
To get started and shop your values, download the Public Square app from the App Store or Google Play, or click on the link in the video description.
20 weeks ago, we debuted a new feature to the podcast called Sizzler Facts.
Not many people know that John F. Kennedy was inspired to run for president in 1960, shortly after the first Sizzler restaurant opened on January 27, 1958.
After dining at the Sizzler family steakhouse in Culver City, California on vacation and getting a great meal at a great price, he knew that with the Cold War raging between the Communist Soviet Union and the United States, he could not sit this election out.
The world came the closest it has ever come to nuclear annihilation during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1963, and it might have all gone differently if John F. Kennedy were not the commander-in-chief.
So, once again, choices try to speak up for communist leadership.
I think that's a bunch of BS.
I think that's getting skeptical.
I feel like someone here isn't taking this seriously.
Now, if I'm wrong and that's real, that John F. Kennedy really went to the Sizzler in Culver City, but that sounds like you can take that to the bank, sir.
Is that real?
You can take that to the Jewish owners.
Who writes these?
I think Brandon is usually the fact-checker on these.
I'm pretty sure that is nonsense.
Yeah, I think it's nonsense that JFK decided to run for president in a Sizzler in Culver City is not true.
It's right there on Sizzler Facts.
That is not true.
That is not a true fact.
I'm just curious.
Yeah.
I don't think we should profane Sizzler facts with made-up facts.
So hopefully that's true, but I don't know.
It is true.
It's apocryphal.
This is apocryphal.
And now it's time for Sizzler comments.
Sizzler comments.
Annie has created a great new ad for Sizzler.
So this is like a follower of ours.
Oh.
Okay, we're going to watch this.
Okay.
Oh, there was me.
There's Joel.
There's Kyle.
Chandler.
Emma.
Okay.
I'm a little offended so far.
Oh, there I am.
Oh, the redwood.
That's the big redwood tree that was turned into the first Sizzler.
Sizzler table.
All the shrimp you can eat and a juicy steak to go.
There's Seth.
There's MJ.
Okay.
It's just $7.99 for limited time.
Sounds good.
Where's that lady that told us to make Reacts videos?
Well, that was something.
That was breathtaking.
Beautiful.
I enjoyed that.
Yeah, that was really cool.
Actually, very good.
Good job, Annie.
Yeah, that was a great ad for Sizzler.
I hope they actually run that on television.
They should spend like $30 million and put that on the Super Bowl this year.
Yeah.
That would definitely do well.
That's going to get people to go to Sizzler.
And they should pay us for producing it.
Even though Annie made it, it was inspired by us, I feel like.
It's really, it's ours.
We get a production credit.
Yeah.
Well, this has been Sizzler Comments.
Now it is time for weekly news with Adam Jenser.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
Here's what's happening this week.
On Tuesday in Pennsylvania's Senate race, Dr. Oz debated Fat Ray Shal Ghul, who may be healthy enough to serve if he can find the Lazarus pit.
After watching the two candidates debate, Pennsylvanians unanimously voted to no longer have representation in the Senate.
Due to his recent anti-Semitic remarks, Adidas has ended their deal with Kanye West.
Nike, on the other hand, kept their deal with Michael Jordan even when he grew a Hitler mustache.
The city of San Francisco is installing a single public toilet that will take three years to build and cost $1.7 million.
Homeless people say they can't wait to poop outside the $1.7 million toilet.
A 5.1 magnitude earthquake struck the Bay Area on Tuesday.
There was no major damage, but the quake startled residents and toppled two piles of sidewalk poop.
A Cuban migrant successfully escaped to Florida in a Soviet-era biplane from the 1940s.
Under Florida law, the migrant was taken into custody, and no one can mention that the plane is by.
Mitt Romney is selling his $11 million ski resort home in Park City, Utah.
The lodge is over 8,500 square feet, making it the largest rhino refuge outside of Africa.
A wild monkey in Sri Lanka came to the funeral of a man who fed him and kissed him goodbye.
The wild bear that he fed was unable to attend but did send flowers.
Sigourney Weaver trained using Navy SEAL techniques to hold her breath underwater for over six minutes in the new avatar sequel, and audience members will have to hold their pee for over three hours to watch it.
Due to rising inflation and supply chain issues, Halloween candy is 13% more expensive than last year.
But thanks to Jeremy Boring, you don't have to spend much on the razor blades you put in it.
That's it for weekly news.
To see more, check out my YouTube channel and come see me live at the Punchline Philly November 2nd and TK's Comedy Club in Dallas, November 10th to 13th.
Well, that was really funny, Adam.
You proved that conservatives can be funny.
Did I?
Maybe with some of the jokes.
Now we're going to see if conservatives can make funny memes with can the right meme.
Can the right meme.
So like we said before, we've done the left camp meme before.
Now we cruised a Reddit page called the Right Can't Meme, and here's some of the ones that we found.
Now we're all seeing these for the first time.
Yep.
So this is from a Reddit sub.
So okay, the subreddit that pulls these are people that think the right can't meme.
So these are what they think are bad right-wing memes.
All right, so the first one is a picture of Joe Biden looking senile.
Yeah, and he's pointing and he's shouting and it says, I could get a disease tomorrow.
I could drop dead tomorrow.
Vote for me.
Oh, okay.
And then the top says, this is the top worst things to say to voters, number one.
I could get a disease tomorrow.
I could drop dead tomorrow.
Vote for me.
Yeah, I mean, that's not good.
Well, and there's kind of just what he didn't he say that he could drop dead tomorrow in a speech or something?
The problem with this is that what Joe Biden said was so ridiculous, you have to go a little further to make that funny.
Well, and it's not, apparently they said, apparently terminal illness should be held against someone.
That's the criticism of this meme.
And it's like, no, not necessarily, but maybe not.
Yeah, it's like, this is a bad meme, but that's not the right criticism.
It's probably not the right critic.
Right.
It's like, well, we're talking about the presidency, right?
So here's the next one.
Look at a healthy person.
On the left, there are those sort of classic meme drawings of a bunch of diverse people, Native Americans, Sikh people, Asian people.
And it says, this Halloween, please remember our culture is not your costume.
And then there's the white man and white woman on the other side saying, why are you speaking English using electricity, cars, planes, and computers?
That's our culture.
And they said this is what zero understanding of history leads to.
I agree.
That one's kind of dumb because inventions aren't exactly like culture.
I feel like it's very two different things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just dumb.
It's just a dumb, it's not a funny way to compare it.
But it is true, though.
I mean, let's think about it.
Okay, so let's see if I can even understand this.
Okay, so in the left mind.
Okay, this is even harder to get.
Left versus right.
In the left, it's like the way the left mind works versus the way the right mind works.
To the left mind, you've got man, man, woman, transgender, and also bad.
This kind of defies description.
So it's like word associations, how the left has contradictory, like they think words can be violence, but also violence is violence.
They think, I don't really understand.
I don't know what that's supposed to be.
And then the right is just very like logical corresponding.
Woman is woman, child is child, words are good.
Oh, I get it.
Words are good.
We got to remember this is a conservative meme.
This is a conservative meme.
These are all conservative members.
I would say this one does qualify as the right camp meme because I don't really understand all Trump to Trump.
I understand what they were going for, but I don't think it's executed well.
Fruit to orange.
They're just basically saying the left has no definitions for anything.
The right has real definitions for everything.
Yeah, so many of this just doesn't make sense.
Like a fruit is not orange.
A fruit is not an orange.
Yeah.
It's just random.
It's so weird.
I do like how they use the little NPC drawing for the left and then the peppy the frog for the right.
Yeah.
That's just they're just abusing characters.
We have definitions.
All right.
We know what language is.
So here's one.
This one makes me laugh.
This one is funny.
This is a spirit.
I photoshopped Spirit Halloween costume package, and it says it's the guy wearing a mask.
A guy wearing a really tight N95 filter mask or whatever.
And it says the name of the costume is retard.
And it says it includes one medical mask, three boosters, one virtue cape, and one sense of superiority.
I think it's a pretty funny meme.
It's actually good.
It makes me laugh and I think it's very funny, but I think it's just because the phrase makes me laugh no matter what.
It's just like you could put that on anything.
You could be making fun of someone on the right with that and I would laugh because it says that.
It is a funny thing.
I think it's funny.
I like this costume.
It's so dumb and wonderful.
Their criticism is they're still butthurt about this, which I maybe about vaccinations or I don't know.
I'm still butthurt about shutting down the locker walls.
That wasn't that long ago.
Oh, I think a lot of people are mad about that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially when none of the evidence came or masks.
It just turns out you guys were all lying for two years.
Yeah.
Who's up?
That's Europe.
So this next one, it shows like a nuclear mushroom cloud, and it says nuclear China threatens Taiwan.
Nuclear North Korea threatens South Korea.
Nuclear Russia threatens the EU and US.
And then there's the Biden sticker of him pointing and saying, I did that.
This is one of those memes that I feel like where it makes a point, but it's not like funny.
It's like something you'd see in a Twitter reply.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like trying to prove that those things are all happening while Biden's president.
It's not really super funny.
It's not very funny.
Okay.
All right.
So we're looking at a new meme that has old Hollywood.
It's the super buff.
What is it?
Is it a Shiba?
Is it a Husky or Husky or whatever?
The Shiba guy, yeah.
And then New Hollywood is like this weak, like old dog.
Docile.
Docile.
So old Hollywood is Wizard of Oz, Gone with the Wind, Jaws.
I thought that's.
I thought that said Juice.
The whole meme.
That's New Hollywood.
It's always been Hollywood.
Never stopped.
Casablanca, The Godfather, Forrest Gump, Indiana Jones, Diehard.
The new Hollywood is Bros, She-Hulk, Gabuz Lightyear, Lesbian Velma, the Cuties, Woman King, Black Little Mermaid, and Female Ghostbusters.
I mean, there's a couple things in there that are just frustrating that they keep.
Gabuz Lightyear makes me laugh.
I think the meme overall is stupid, but there's little things in it that make me laugh independent of the meme.
I think if I were going to do this meme, I would do the same thing on the left, and then on the right, like just say Gabuz Lightyear.
I think it's just like you don't need just listening.
Probably just one of them.
Cuties would work too.
Yeah, I feel like is it the cuties?
No, it's cuties.
No, no, you saw that one.
Like the Star Wars.
Like, I love that movie.
It's cute.
I've watched it over and over.
Right.
All right.
No.
The next one, we got some men meat packing.
And it says, you will eat the steaks.
You will drive your gas guzzler.
You will heat your home.
You will use cash notes.
You will travel at your leisure and you will dissipate the globalists.
I don't understand this one at all.
I think they're trying to parody like the you will eat the bugs.
You will live in the pod.
You will own nothing and you won't be happy.
I don't think I know that one.
It's like language from the World Economic Forum because they said something like, you will own nothing in 2030 and you will be happy.
Oh, I don't know about that.
So they're saying like, no, you will instead eat the steaks.
But I don't feel like anyone's forcing you to eat steaks.
No, we agree.
We definitely agree with it.
But they're saying this is it's kind of a positive meme.
Like they're saying it's good.
You can go eat meat and you can drive a car, but it's worded very weird with the you will.
It sounds like they're authoritarian.
You will disobey.
Okay.
You will eat it.
You will like it.
Here it says what the left wants men to be like.
And it's a sort of transgender elfish looking man.
He's holding a sign that says, refugees welcome here.
Top of his body's like twice as big as his.
He does look like Santa's little helper, doesn't he?
It looks like a.
I feel like there's, is it a satyr?
There's some sort of mythical like a little fawn.
He's got a bigger goat's legs.
Like he'll come up to you with panpipes, you know?
Yeah, but Satyrs had large anyway.
I don't know if I have the right one, but I feel like there's some little mythical creature that looks like a fairy.
It's like a fawn.
It looks like a fawn.
And then it says what conservatives want men to be like, and it's the badass guy from 300.
Yeah, Gerard Butler.
When he got the abs.
I get it.
This one makes me laugh just because of how that guy looks.
But I don't know that the meme is super.
It could have been done a lot better.
It doesn't make me laugh.
Yeah.
Well, actually, I think the irony too is that, you know, 300 is my seriously homoerotic.
I think it does make a valid.
It does make a 300, actually.
Oh, have you not?
No.
Now that I know it's homoerotic, I'm going home to watch it.
Well, it's just that it's a bunch of double motors.
I'm just laden cuties, and then I'm going to decide which I like more.
It's mostly naked dudes.
And the cuties or the homoeroticism.
Mostly naked dudes, like in leather undies.
Like that's the entire movie.
So I'm just saying.
Well, and the Spartans, weren't they like gay?
No, no, no, they weren't.
So the Spartans were not gay.
The Athenians were.
There's actually a joke about it in 300.
Okay.
We're not those Athenian boys.
I do think I mean, I don't think it's the strongest meme, but it does make a point that the left does seem to want to emasculate men.
I think he's very weakened version of masculinity.
I think it'd be funny.
I get what they're saying.
And the right is much more into traditional positive masculine.
I think it'd be funnier if you flipped it around and you were like in the days.
Because you want the funny thing to come last.
And that guy is the funny guy.
If I saw 300 guy first and then him, I'd be like, oh, that's hilarious.
Yeah, that is funny.
But again, they could have chosen almost anybody, and they chose the guy without his shirt on walking around in his undies.
So anyway, here's the next one.
There's a picture of a fairly large fellow.
It looks like he's at maybe a sporting event and has a shirt on that says, it's okay to be white.
Less than 1% of white households own USL own slaves, but every slave, ship, and auction was owned by the Jews.
Why is this the Jewish episode?
Why did that happen?
Also, why did that guy choose to wear that?
That's Photoshop.
I feel like the caption is Photoshop, because that's like such a clear, that's like such clear text for that guy's gut.
Yeah, I feel like that is a really man.
Yeah.
That's okay.
Yeah, that's, I agree with him.
I do like the caption.
I do like the caption that the Redditor put, behold the master race.
It's actually pretty funny.
Yeah.
All right.
Here is one from the Daily Wire, actually.
And Daily Wire tweets out the only Dr. Seuss book that will survive.
And it's a photoshopped cover of One Fish, Two Fish, Redfish, Blue Fish.
And it says Latinx fish, tanfish, feminine fish, and non-binary fish.
I feel like in order for this one to work, they had to make it rhyme.
Like, you got to keep some context of the original.
I get what they're going for, but I feel like it's funnier.
It's a bit of a strange premise, too.
Like, I don't think that's a very good meme.
No, it sucks.
All right.
What do we got next?
So this is from Prager You.
When someone says socialism works, and it's the it clown saying to see you in your dreams.
It just doesn't laugh, but I also don't understand it.
Okay, so there's they're saying socialism works in your dreams.
A fantasy.
But that doesn't really work.
Not with the items.
Not with Pennywise.
Yeah, Pennywise.
Yeah, kind of.
That adds this whole other element to it.
That's like, are we saying, what do we say?
It just makes me laugh because of how weird it is.
That's the best one so far.
All right, what do we got?
On the original it clown is so scary.
Okay.
Oh, they have a Kevin Sorbo.
This is exciting.
Okay, breaking news.
The federal government now recommends that you wear a blindfold along with your face mask to protect you from seeing what's really going on.
I think that there's something to that joke.
Yeah.
I think it's a good point-taken kind of meme.
Right.
Like, point taken.
Yeah.
So here's what the liberal criticism.
Yeah.
Here's what the liberal Redditor said.
We don't even know who Kevin Sorbo is.
Well, I found out.
His immune system isn't as strong as Hercules, despite what he may think.
I think that's way less funny than the actual meme shared by Kevin Sorbo.
And also, they absolutely knew who Kevin Sorbo was.
They were just trying to say.
I don't even know who he is.
I don't even know who he is.
Here's one with Skeletor sitting at the classic Steven Crowder table.
That's who that is, right?
And it says, saying I identify as is the same thing as saying I pretend to be, change my mind.
I like that one.
I like the absurdity of Skeletor.
Yeah.
I think it's another one.
I think the point makes sense.
But I feel like I've seen that one with someone other than Skeletor.
That's been done a billion times.
But as far as a joke, I like Skeletor saying that.
But here's the liberal criticism.
They said for those keeping score at home, they one, willingly associated far-right personality Steven Crowder with an evil skeleton.
And two, included one of the internet's oldest and gayest memes.
Wait does OP secretly support LGBTQIA individuals?
OP.
These people are way less.
These people are way less funny.
If you're going to criticize comedy, do it in a funny way and be funnier than the comedy you're trying to criticize.
Let's all laugh together.
Now here's our 61st meme.
I think it's Adams.
This is from Imran Khalid, some account.
It says best question mark.
And then there's the sort of crying NPC guy wearing a rainbow hat.
And he says, love is love.
Why don't you support us?
And there's an Arab guy saying, water is water.
Why don't you drink from the toilet?
I don't understand, but sometimes there's just phrases in them that make me laugh.
And the idea of the- I think it's comparison between real sex and art, you know.
I get it.
Love is love.
It's criticizing the ridiculous thing of love is love.
Why don't you drink from the toilet?
Yeah.
It's just done such so handsome.
It's comparing gay sex to toilet water.
There's a reason that it's done so hand-visitedly that it makes crack up.
It is, it made me laugh, yeah.
There's reasons.
What do we got next?
My favorite.
So five stars made me laugh.
This one is a picture.
It's a cartoon of.
Oh, this is a Ben Garrison political cartoon.
Yeah, fossil fuel car in the back.
It's like a muscle car.
The one in the front is a green energy car.
It's like a little Volkswagen.
And the muscle car is saying to the green energy car, you'll never be a real car.
And the charging station is closed due to a power outage.
The green car is obviously not getting what it needs.
And it's called, altogether, the transitioning.
This is a very strange.
Yeah, I don't really.
It doesn't make a ton of sense.
Is Ben Garrison cheating?
This might be cheating.
All right.
Next one is another Ben Garrison cartoon.
And we have a flower lady spanking Greta Thunberg.
Mother Earth, actually.
Oh, yeah.
Mother Earth is spanking Greta Thunberg.
And she says, you little brat, it's called weather.
It's the four seasons.
CO2 is good for the planet.
You can't fool Mother Nature.
Now stop bothering people.
And Greta Thunberg says, how did you?
How to dare you?
And the criticism is Ben Garrison is a disgusting freak.
Yeah, there's a lot of things about this that are just disturbing to look at.
I've never been a huge fan of political cartoons.
I'm not a fan of that.
All right, what's our next one?
We got more Ben Garrison.
Here's another Ben Garrison.
These defy description.
I can't even describe it.
I don't know what's going on here.
It's a house divided, and then one half of the house has like Marxism and abortion, and the other side has like Patriots and Trump.
And it says 4th of July 2022.
He's the same car.
It makes sense.
And there's the weak effeminate plug-in electric car compared to a big, badly pickup truck or SUV on the other side.
It's just a mess.
Well, they also put the visual mess.
The missile on the left, the wokeism on the left.
Oh, and then Biden is sitting in the middle looking scared at his desk, it looks like.
I always like how low political cartoonists think of their audience.
They always have to label what they're doing.
They label things as like you have a guy who's clearly a transgender, like it's like two gender characters, and they're like, this is a male, this is a female.
I know that.
They label everything, yeah.
And there's an eagle labeled liberty and a missile labeled war.
And a big truck labeled and everything is just so clearly labeled.
Like you don't need to do that.
It's like they know no one will understand the symbolism, so they have to explain it.
All right, what's our next meeting?
It is complex.
Oh, I like this one.
Okay, so this one is AOC making an AOC face.
And she says, hope I never have twins.
I can't imagine being pregnant for 18 months.
And this is their criticism.
They said, meme, format, staple, AOC with her mouth open.
All right, what's the next one?
That's not bad.
The next one.
That was pretty funny.
Oh, that's it.
Finally, we're done.
Dang.
So, yeah, those are pretty bad.
A couple made me laugh.
Yeah.
But yeah, the right can be just as bad as comedy as the left is.
Well, yeah.
I mean, all right, we are now going to move into our Halloween celebration where we were all supposed to be in costume, but, you know.
We didn't get that note.
Treasure in heaven is great, but it's not going to buy you a tank of gas.
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It's time for Halloween.
You guys don't have any history with Halloween.
I...
We celebrated Halloween growing up.
It was never one of those weird religious things we weren't allowed to do.
I loved Halloween.
I've always loved Halloween, and I always do view it as, you know, it's like it's just like a seasonal holiday.
I don't really look at it as having some religious, you know, under no.
I mean, the scripture even talks about that, where you're not supposed to let people tell you not to celebrate new moon celebrations.
So Halloween is like sacrifice to an idol.
Yeah, but I think as long as you're not celebrating it in a pagan way, as long as you're not doing it to celebrate paganism or something, we're celebrating.
What is it called?
Samane or Samine or whatever.
The original kind of thing.
Yeah.
That's, I mean, we grew up doing it.
I loved it.
I love dressing up and all that stuff.
Actually, my kids are all dressing up.
And like our church had like Halloween with the youth group and stuff like that.
Harvest.
It's always like harvest, harvesting.
Hallelujah party.
Hallelujah party.
And I always like that Reformation Day and all sorts of things.
Reformation Day is great afterwards.
Yeah, I think my strongest memory of Halloween as a kid is from that Disney from Fantasia.
It's like that weird.
Remember that weird one where the big demon guys over the town?
And I remember thinking, is this what Halloween is?
And like all the spirits come out to play.
It's always been one of my favorite holidays.
I like this whole time of year.
I just like fall.
I like haunted houses.
I like so much fun.
Pumpkin carving.
I love.
Yeah.
The eating with friends.
Yeah, all that.
Dressing up, putting up my demonic altar.
Sacrificing chickens.
Pumpkins.
And pumpkins too.
And I always liked dressing up in a really intricate costume.
I had like every other year was like a good costume and then like a terrible costume.
And I was always really ambitious with my costumes.
Like I'd tell my mom I want to be something crazy, you know, that I saw in a cartoon or something.
And she would try to like sew something together.
So I wanted to be Yako one year from the anime.
But they didn't sell that costume.
So we like tried to make it.
And then I ended up just having black paint all over my face.
And you were in blackface as Yako?
No.
Well, it was black and then a white, like white.
Yeah.
Because they had like the white.
Nobody knew what I was.
I see.
My parents made one of my brothers a really cool Ninja Turtles costume one day.
Oh, yeah.
They went and made like an elaborate shell and like the trash can lid.
I think it was a trash can lid, but there was like padding, so it had more of the shape.
You couldn't tell that it was.
Yeah, it looked really good.
I always thought like sleds, like those disc sleds were good shells.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think as a kid, I was much more into the costume part.
As an adult, I like pumpkin carving a lot, so I get more into the pumpkin carving.
I'll go to a costume party, but I'm always very last minute.
I'm always like, I'll just throw something together.
Yeah.
I love pumpkin carving too.
And as an adult with my kids, since I have four boys, instead of getting a knife out now, I use this multi-tool.
Do you guys know the multi-tools that you just, you know, it just, it goes really fast and you can just plug it into things.
Oh, really?
So it takes me, like, it literally takes me.
I do the elaborate ones where you like poke the, you transfer the pattern onto the pumpkin and then use little small knives.
I like those.
I always love it because I make the six-year-old will draw something and I'll have to cut it out.
And it's like, it's really fun.
Yeah.
I do start to get at this time of year.
I do start to get the hanker into like watch a scary movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Turn on a fire with the little gas thing.
We like start the fire, you know.
Yeah.
So I just started the second half.
Arsonist?
Yes.
Lighting to find out how to start fires.
What do I say?
Having a fire in the fireplace.
Yeah.
And we started the second half of Stranger Things Season 4 last night by the fire.
That was great.
We're watching Dope Sick for Halloween.
It's scary.
Michael Keaton.
Michael Keaton.
Nice.
And here we have some crazy, insane Halloween costumes.
So look at this.
First one is Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy.
That's a really elaborate costume.
That's a little kid costume.
A little person.
Little guy in the back wearing the costume.
This is a woman.
This is a woman with a baby.
A baby punching through her stomach.
With a crunch.
Oh, she's pregnant.
She's a pregnant woman.
That's pretty gruesome.
It's a gruesome, yeah.
Okay, this one is...
Oh, that's from Beetlejuice.
It's like half and half.
The woman cut in half.
So her torso's on one side.
Yeah, and I remember in Beetlejuice, Michael Keaton turns and he grabs her leg.
He's waiting in a waiting room and he reaches over and he puts his hand on her knee and she like slaps him from across the, yeah.
Who did Michael Keaton play in Beetlejuice?
He played...
He played Beetlejuice.
Okay.
Yeah, you knew that.
This is father as son and son as father and son as himself.
Oh, the father and son played each other.
Oh, I see.
They dressed up as each other.
That's cute.
I guess I didn't see it a whole lot.
Yeah.
Because they didn't change their faces at all.
They just swapped clothing, it looks like, right?
Or no, they didn't.
No, they didn't even swap clothing.
Oh, that's what I'm saying.
That is the dad dressed up as the kid on the left.
Oh, so they really, oh, so they really nailed it.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, no, I get it.
I can see it now.
That's why you can't tell the difference.
Because they just did a Christmas.
They just look that.
They look that close to each other.
That's funny.
That is cool.
That's funny.
This is a space portal.
No, it's from the video game portal.
Oh, it's from Portal.
So it's like the blue portal transporting into the orange portal, but it's two people playing a guy who's cut in half by the portal.
Nice.
That's a good costume.
That's cool.
They have to stay in the same spot all night.
Yeah.
Here's a merman.
That's the little mermaid.
But it's a fat merman.
Oh, man.
That is not pleasant to look at because we please go to the house.
I know it's kind of how the left ones meant to be.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Okay.
Came in like a wrecking ball.
We have a Barbie on it.
No, that's Cyrus on the wrecking ball.
That's clever.
That's a dilly.
I like that.
That actually is really funny.
All right.
Here is.
Oh, this is from Men in Black.
Oh, yeah.
That's really elaborate.
That's cool.
The little alien controlling the guy's mind.
Someone slapped it on their face.
That's neat.
That looks cool.
That looks like it's homemade, too.
That is so disturbing.
Elaborate one of giving birth to the man's face.
I don't get it.
Like, do they walk around a party all night?
That's what I think must be hard about one.
You really.
See, that's one of the reasons I don't love costumes.
I think elaborate ones are really cool, but I hate having to wear a wig or a mask over your face.
I just get bored and tired of it.
I told my kids I'm not going to dress up this year because I dress up for a living now.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, guys.
Yeah, I hate dressing up.
I want to be myself now.
I lost her lost dog, and then it's caught in her big padded butt cheeks.
Yeah.
We assume they are padded.
Good taste.
All right, Mars attacks.
That's a good guy.
Yeah, that's solid.
You probably made that.
This is a Morton Joe from Mad Max.
That's done well.
That's done well.
I like that one.
It's like cosplay.
I mean, there's a difference.
Some of these do look like Comic-Con kind of cosplays.
Yeah, like cosplay.
Like someone went all out.
So there's Halloween and then there's the other thing.
Yeah.
Kind of a different category.
The weirdos who dress up like superheroes and stuff.
All right.
It's time for some love mail.
Muchas gracias, mi amor.
This love mail is on episode three of our Californians move to Texas, the one starring Ted Cruz.
And Max R says, in these three episodes, Steve already has a better defined character arc than most characters written by Hollywood.
Facts.
Facts.
Then Jake Mack wrote, the only thing we contribute to our salvation is the sin that makes it necessary.
Oh man, I got a whole other lesson out of this video.
Thanks, y'all.
That's a quote from John Edwards.
Okay, so the photo and the story said, what strikes me about this series and other things Babylon Bee does is that they often don't dip down into nastiness.
The California transplant character are naive, stupid at times, but also likable.
I think that's a credit to the Babylon B.
Yeah, that is what I like about the series.
We're not just making them idiots.
And we're also not making them jerks.
Yeah.
You know, maybe Texans don't hate the Californians.
No, then they're kind of welcoming them.
And also, they're not making the Texans jerks because they're obviously weirdos.
Yeah, they're kind of nice.
They're being nice to each other.
All right, so here's some hate mail.
This is on the California Moves to Texas video with Ted Cruz.
This is from Live Music.
Sad people fall for controlled opposition, which is when it is masked in comedy.
They are so very, very bought into and directly working with the scumbags of the false right.
What a sad joke.
And the Babylon B who pretended to be Christian-based continue to show their true colors.
Left-right nonsense with never taking on the big issues.
They stay stuck in the lower level divide and conquer narratives.
Nice 33 in the logo.
Oh.
And more that the uninformed would never get and are sure to mock.
Cruz, really?
Wife, as a big-time banker, he is a total sellout in so, so, so many ways.
Yet, he's a hero to those who can't or don't yet know how to think.
All right.
That's a lot.
And that comment does say it was edited.
So they actually went back and punched that up.
And that's still what we've got to do.
Is Babylong, is that a typo or is that supposed to be some sort of way of the Taiwanese version of our Babylon?
Baba Long.
Here's one from Jake Grist.
Some more hate mail.
I attempted to find humor in this, but there just wasn't any.
I don't get it.
Why is this funny?
Kirk Cameron is a lame actor.
We all know that.
Is this on the different video?
This is Kevin Sorbo lists the top Christian actors.
Denzel is a fantastic actor, as is Chris Pratt.
Is it just supposed to be funny because you want to shame a religion?
Yes, that's why it was supposed to be funny.
And it's Denzel.
Thank you very much.
Denzel.
Yeah.
But actually, Sorbs did correct himself.
I don't know if you saw that.
He said Denzel first and then Denzel the second time.
Oh, so wait, the name is, it's not Denzel Washington?
No, it is.
It is.
Sorbo is okay.
I see.
He pronounced it.
He had never heard of Denzel Washington.
He's like, who is this guy?
Well, guys, thanks for joining us.
We hope you have a happy Halloween to those who celebrate and stay in your homes and stay away from Satan to those who do not celebrate.
Thanks for watching.
We're going to move on to our subscriber portion where we have some more hate mail, I think.
Some subscriber headlines, and we're going to do some other fun stuff.
So here we go.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
Political satire says new homebuyers inexplicably ungrateful for Fed increasing the amount of their annual mortgage tax deduction.
Not smart enough for that one.
It's like the onion, but not funny or clever.
We always say it the other way.
It's like the onion, but it's funny and clever.
This has been another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee.