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Nov. 1, 2022 - Babylon Bee
30:26
Nixon, Trump, and The Deep State | A Bee Interview with Monica Crowley

Monica Crowley, former Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs for the U.S. Department of the Treasury, and former policy assistant to President Nixon, stops by to talk to the Bee about President Trump, President Nixon, and how Tom Brady is on her "laminated list." Check out Monica's podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-monica-crowley-podcast/id1614718499

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Tom Brady is on my laminate.
Do you remember that episode of Friends?
They had like the celebrity outs in their relationship and the names of the celebrities that they would be allowed to have a fling with were on their laminate.
So my boyfriend, my longtime boyfriend knows Tom Brady is on my laminate.
I don't have his name laminated.
Oh, he's not on your laminate.
No, I don't do that.
I'm like monogamous.
Oh, I am too.
I'm just saying.
I am too, guys.
Richard Nixon was the most popular political figure that we've had in a really long time.
And you know, two years until Joe Biden, legitimately won with 81 million votes.
Jesus making quote.
Yeah.
I'm doing like there's no aliens.
Let the record show on to me.
the record show.
Well, thanks for coming out, Monica.
It's great to have you here.
It's so great to be here.
Thank you so much.
And it's great to see your new space where all of the magic happens.
Also, by the way, I have not been to California in many years.
So it's fascinating to be back here behind the Iron Curtain.
Really?
I mean, you've already encountered like Christian Uber drivers and stuff.
So I have to tell you guys, so I was staying in Anaheim, called an Uber to come out here to you guys, and the Uber driver pulls up and a woman gets out of the car.
She resembled a woman of the night.
I will just put it that way.
And I get in the car and I start talking with my Uber driver.
And it turns out that he is a Christian pastor and a conservative who voted for Donald Trump.
And he said, when I was walking to the car, he was doing a calculation like another hooker.
And I was like, no, no, not a hooker.
Not a hooker.
Just out here trying to save my country.
Oh, man.
Well.
I'm sorry.
My phone keeps going.
I turn this off.
So what brings you out to my phone is off now.
Continue.
What brings you out to behind the iron curtain?
Yes.
Well, I feel like I'm on like an anthropological experiment back here, although I do come from New York.
Yeah, come on.
You don't have to.
Which is also bad.
It's also bad.
But I haven't been to California and someone told me to drive through downtown LA to see how bad it actually is.
We do have a lot of problems in New York City with spiking crime and homelessness and all the social issues that the Democrats create.
They create every problem that you see in urban areas and across the country.
But someone told me that LA and San Francisco are like next level bad.
So I haven't done that yet.
And I'm not sure I want to.
I think I'll just go straight to LAX and go back to my own little on the East Coast.
But I am here to do two events at the Nixon Presidential Library and you're Belinda.
I'm doing an event with Secretary Pompeo and Ambassador O'Brien called the Nixon Seminar, which we do once a month.
We choose a topic and there are about 15 of us policy experts and we kind of kick around the topic and try to engineer some solutions in the foreign policy and national security space.
So I'm doing that one night and then I'm going to give my own address at the Nixon Library the following night.
Awesome.
Very cool.
Yeah, the homelessness thing is crazy.
And I think in LA, it's not that I don't think that the policies are any worse in LA than they are in like New York, but we have the weather thing.
So it's just so much easier.
You know, there's just these massive tent cities.
I don't know if it do they have that in New York, like you just walk down a normal street and it's just like you have to get off the sidewalk because there's just a mile long of tents.
I mean, and this is like on normal streets, like not even, it's not like a section of the city that's homeless.
It's like the whole thing.
There's some of that, but not to the extent that you have here in LA or San Francisco or Seattle or Portland, not quite like that.
Although, thanks to governors DeSantis and Abbott, who have been moving out illegal aliens from the southern border out of their states to places like New York City, there have been thousands of illegal immigrants who have been shipped to New York.
And so Mayor Adams, who, by the way, spends more time in nightclubs than he does at City Hall, he's literally at zero bond almost every night until like two, three o'clock in the morning.
Natalie dressed, I mean, he's got his pocket square working for him, but he's not actually working for the city of New York.
He's going to create a tense city for illegals.
And of course, NIMBY, all of the New York liberals don't want this tense city anywhere near them.
Don't put it on Fifth Avenue.
Don't put it in Central Park.
Don't put it in Brooklyn, God forbid.
So now they're going to create this tense city on an area called Randall's Island, which is an island literally in the middle of the river.
And they're going to, I guess, stick from there.
I'm serious.
It's unbelievable on the island.
You know what I found fascinating, guys, is the cognitive dissonance of liberals with this whole illegal immigration thing.
And you saw it in bold relief with the Martha's Vineyard debacle because you had all of these very wealthy, elite progressives, basically communists, who on the one hand have said, no human being is illegal.
Everybody is welcome.
But they couldn't stand to have 50 of them in their space for more than 24 hours and immediately had them shipped off to a military base.
But that cognitive dissonance has been fascinating to watch because they're so intellectually inconsistent.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, if DeSantis ships all the illegals out of Florida, then who is going to work on a farm?
Well, according to Nancy Pelosi, who the other day made exactly that point, can you imagine if a conservative made that point?
Like if I went on the air and like seriously made that, like, who's going to pick my strawberries?
Well, I mean, I'd be canceled in like two seconds.
But they just, they get away with it around the clock because they have the protection of the press.
And when you have the protection of the press, you can literally say and do anything and be fine, whether it's a politician or whether it's the late night comedy hosts or whatever.
What I love about you guys, and I'm so happy to be here, and thank you so much for having me here today because I've been a longtime fan of your work.
And what has always struck me about what you guys do and the genius of it, I mean, top line, very funny.
Every post, every skit, every book that you put out.
And I just had you guys on to talk about this, Babylon B, Guide to Democracy.
But as everywhere, everywhere.
And check out my podcast with Joel Berry that I published last week talking about it.
We had a lot of laughs, so check that out.
But as a student of communism and communism in America, the sort of the godfather of community organizing and left-wing progressive upheaval was Saul Lelinsky.
And Saul Lelinsky, one of his main pillars is mockery.
And you use mockery to humiliate the other side.
And our side just never had anybody willing and able to do it in a very effective way because there's no comeback, right?
When you mock somebody and humiliate and embarrass them because of their ludicrous positions or their ludicrous policies or whatever it might be, there really is no coming back from that, right?
You're just sort of reduced to a pile of rubble and everybody is laughing.
Well, Alinsky and the left have understood that for a long time.
And our side just never had that, never had the capability to do it until you guys came along.
So we are so grateful for you for just making us laugh, number one, but also for holding up a mirror to the other side and pointing out their absurdity and their destructive nature, but doing it with humor because you're doing what the other side has long done to our side, and we had no weapons to fight back, and you guys are giving us that.
So thank you very much.
It's very much appreciated.
You're welcome.
All modest now, Kyle, all modest.
No, you guys really are performing a tremendous service.
I mean, you're making people laugh, obviously, but it's also, it's great, fun ammunition against the other side.
And we are in this existential fight for the country.
So what you're doing is just as important, if not more, than what anybody else is doing to try to save America.
Well, that means a lot to us.
And I think it is, it's important, you know, on a few different levels.
Yes, it does hold up a mirror, it does mock the other side, but I think it also helps us to not take ourselves so seriously and be able to laugh at the darkness.
You know, we have, because you look at some of the issues we're facing, and whether we're talking about the homelessness crisis, the border crisis, all the crazy things going on in the White House.
And you can start to really freak out or despair over those things, you know, and just, and it helps us to realize that there are some things that are out of our control, but we can influence the things that are under our control at the same time and influence that discourse.
So I think it's good for our mental health or whatever you want to call it now.
Right.
And for the average person who thinks what's happening is crazy and no one else is saying that it's crazy, I think that'd be is just, okay, fine.
Like there is someone who thinks like me.
That's a really important point about community, right?
And so I do my podcast and I'm building a community on that podcast.
You guys have this huge community despite being attacked and smeared and canceled and suspended and everything else that they've leveled against you.
But that just means you're over the target, right?
When you're being attacked, you're over the target and that gives you more strength.
But that sense of community, knowing that so many other people are laughing at the other side along with you and you're not alone, it really empowers a lot of people and I think gives us strength for the battles ahead.
Well, there is, yeah, and there is an element of, you know, I'm not alone, you know, that you, because it can feel like that, especially, you know, we all live in blue states and it can feel like that.
And you think all the way back to like Rush Limbaugh, you know, who it could feel like the discourse because the media was so controlled by one side.
And Limbaugh comes and people are just driving their trucks across the country or driving their cars or whatever.
And they're hearing this guy and they're like, oh my gosh, there's someone who's normal and has a sense of humor and is sane, you know?
So we're basically the new Rush Limbaugh.
Yeah.
I do know.
I worked for a guy who paid for me to get a year subscription.
Oh, really?
Because he wanted me to listen to Rush LeBall.
I was already conservative, but he was like, you need more Rush Limbaugh in your life.
Trying to reinforce your already strongly held positions.
But it's really important to have that, you know.
My boss is, he is alive, but Rush, yeah.
Russia's dead.
Russia's gone.
Yeah.
But, you know, what you guys are doing, stepping into that breach with humor is really, really important.
And you know what?
The American people who believe like we do and are traditionalists, conservatives, populists, pro-Trump or not pro-Trump, but Christians and just have a more traditional worldview, there's no place to go really for your entertainment.
If you just want straight entertainment, late night television, except for Greg Gottfeld, is just, it's not serving you.
Everything has become so political that you guys do political humor, but you do it in a really clever way.
And it's almost in a soft way.
It's not biting.
It's sarcastic, but it's done with a velvet glove.
And I think you, you know, obviously everybody attracts more bees with honey than they do with vinegar.
And that's what you do, which of course is what drives the other side crazy, and which is why they're trying to shut you down.
I think, don't you attract flies with an expression flies or bees?
Flies, but bees.
Oh, but you're bees.
So you were assistant secretary of the Department of the Treasury.
Did I get that right?
I was, yes.
That's pretty cool.
How bad is the economy right now?
And how many buckets of My Patriot Supply food reserves should I purchase?
Right.
That is a very good question, actually, because it does look like there's an impending food crisis at some point.
And I'm thinking about my Patriot Supply as well and stocking up on that because you never know.
Because all of the stuff.
All of the stuff that we thought was unthinkable, even just a handful of years ago, has come to pass.
I mean, who would have thought like a crazy novel virus would alight on the scene and then everybody would have to be locked down in their homes for months on it?
I think Fauci did, but yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Fauci had it planned for a while, I think.
But yeah, you're right.
But all of the stuff that you could never even dream of.
This is another thing, you guys.
And I'll get to your question about the economy here, but the other side never lacks for imagination.
They're always thinking about new and creative ways to destroy the country and make your life a living.
Right.
But our side has always sort of lacked that kind of imagination to try to think about what the other side might be up to, whether it's on elections or the shots for the vaccine and the rollout and the lockdowns and school closures.
And they're thinking much, much bigger and in dark, nefarious ways, but they do have imagination.
And our side doesn't take the time because we're out there working, raising our families, creating comedic genius things every day like you guys do.
We're out there doing stuff.
And so we don't necessarily have the time to just sort of sit in a think tank and think about new and creative ways to try to preempt what is going to come at us.
So do you think in terms of motive, that's what it is?
Like, do you think they're all sitting in a cigar smoke-filled room, like, how do we destroy America?
Or do you think they really believe that they're doing something good?
So I, well, I think, you know, the two aren't mutually exclusive.
I don't think you have like a cabal sitting in a smoke-filled room, although that may have been the case.
And you may have little meetings here and there.
But I think it's, it is a much, when, I mean, you're sort of alluding to a conspiracy.
I think it's bigger than that.
Like, I think what you're seeing now is a tipping point in America and the West, but it's been underway for a really long time.
So this started as a KGB operation in the 1930s, where the United States and the Soviet Union were looking at each other.
And the KGB said, okay, we clearly have to destroy America if we're going to conquer the world with communism, Marxism, both economic and cultural Marxism.
So how do we do that?
So in the 30s, they sort of came at the United States in a full frontal way.
And obviously at the time, our country was very strong and durable with a durable constitution.
And then World War II happened and we were essentially on the same side to defeat Hitler.
But then after World War II, the KGB said, we got to come up with a better strategy to defeat the United States.
And they came up with destroying us from within.
So what they did starting in the 1950s is they infiltrated the United States with all these leftists who were sympathetic to the Soviet Union and communism, Marxism.
And they grabbed control over the major pillars of American society and life.
They took control of the news media.
They took control over academia starting at the college level and now it's all the way down to nursery school.
And they took control over the culture.
movies, television, music.
And this was a long-term project for them.
I always use the analogy of termites in a house.
I don't know if you guys have ever had termites, but termites will infiltrate the structure and they start eating away at the foundation.
They start just chipping away, but it's a long-term project.
So to the naked eye, the house looks fine until one day it just collapses on itself.
And I'm afraid that this is where we are in America today, where we are at that tipping point where the whole thing is starting to collapse.
Because, yeah, it started out of the Soviet Union, then the Soviet Union collapsed, and then the CCP out of China and other entities that wanted to see us destroyed took over that long-term project.
And they had a lot of lead time because the universities were infiltrated, schools, the culture, Hollywood, you know, we're sitting out here in California.
All of it was already deeply entrenched.
And then they accelerated it and accelerated it to the point where we are now, where we're looking at an overwhelming of the system in order to collapse it.
And it could go like that.
So when you talk about the My Patriot Supply, I mean, it literally could happen in the blink of an eye.
The way the COVID lockdowns happened, like literally overnight, the unthinkable could happen.
And that's why what you guys are doing is so important.
I mean, we need all hands on deck doing what we all do, bringing all of our talents to try to save America.
When you were in public.
I know this is a comedy show, and I'm sorry.
Next time when I come, I want to do puppies and rainbows.
Next time when I come, I want to talk like, you know, Tom Brady and Giselle or, you know, I'm Tom Brady.
I do, but did you want to pick up on that?
And then we can talk Tom Brady and Giselle.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I wasn't going to ask about Tom Brady.
You could ask me.
She never answered my economy question.
Oh, I'll get to that too.
I'm sorry.
You have two questions.
Tom Brady and economy.
I think they're related.
But not Tom Brady, though.
No one cares about Tom Brady.
Oh, I care about Tom Brady.
Don't insult our guests.
Tom Brady is on my laminate.
Tom Brady is on my laminate.
Do you know what that is?
I don't know what that is.
Do you remember that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel, they had like the celebrity outs in their relationship and the names of the celebrities that they would be allowed to have a fling with were on their laminate.
So my boyfriend, my longtime boyfriend knows Tom Brady is on my laminate.
So now, ladies, start your engines because I guess they're getting a divorce, but y'all are going to have to walk over me to get to Tom Brady.
Yeah, I don't have his name laminated or anything.
Oh, he's not on your laminate.
No, I don't do that.
I'm like monogamous.
Oh, I am too.
I'm just saying.
I am too, guys.
I'm not a lady of the night.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think, but she's blushing, Kyle.
I know.
My question was about public affairs and if you had to lie to the world about the economy when you were in public affairs.
We're back to seriousness.
Yeah, did you just spin it or did you lie and what's happening right now?
Did you lie?
Did I lie?
No, I did not lie in my job.
Did you lie?
No, so I served two years as assistant secretary of the treasury in the Trump administration, the adventure of a lifetime and the honor of a lifetime to serve the American people and the country I love.
So I absolutely loved it.
But the guy who had the job before me is a very good friend.
And he, when he wanted to leave the administration, he called me up and said, are you interested?
I said, absolutely.
And so we went through the process.
And on the day I was being sworn in, I looked at Tony, my friend who was leaving the job, and I said, do not stick me with a crappy economy.
Okay.
Do not, because my job was to sell the Trump economy.
And it was booming and it was thriving pre-COVID, really.
And he said, no, the Trump economy is doing great.
You're going to be fine.
March of 2020 comes.
Monica Cry has an unprecedented lockdown to have to deal with.
So no, I never lied.
And I didn't.
I mean, there's spin, which every administration does.
And then there's outright lying, which is what the current administration is doing.
So, no, I had a great economy to sell to the American people and worked within the administration on all of the economic messaging.
But we had a great story to tell.
So no, no opening for that.
I don't know if it's because they have the coverage of the press, you know, the press covering for them, but it does feel like the lying in the Biden administration has gone to a whole other level, like where they're standing in front of you saying like the sky is not blue and waving at you.
You know, I don't know.
Like you always, you always get the feel when politicians are talking or press secretaries are talking, like you're like, okay, I know you're trying to make the administration look good.
That's your job.
But when they're just like standing there like, no, gas prices are down.
And you're like, I just filled up my car and gas prices are not down.
It's epic gaslighting.
It's crazy.
Right.
And it's don't believe your lying eyes or don't believe your grocery receipt or your gas receipt, what is right in front of you.
And that's why they're failing is because their messaging does not match with what the reality is of everybody's lived experience on the ground.
This is a horror show of an economy.
The entire Biden presidency is an historic catastrophe, but it's also all by design.
You know, it drives me crazy when I hear people talk about that this is incompetent.
You know, Biden is senile and he is mentally largely incompetent, but the people around him are not.
I mean, this is, these are really destructive policies that are being put in place on purpose in order to bring that implosion that I was talking about and accelerating it.
Because guys, remember, you know, Donald Trump was never supposed to be president.
We had eight years of Obama who started this whole process of pushing us over the edge to real neo-Marxism.
And you were supposed to have Hillary for eight years who was supposed to lock it all in.
And Trump came along, he caught them flat-footed.
He wins.
He actually starts solving America's problems, which is a big no-no for the establishment, for the regime.
You're not supposed to do that.
Supposed to keep America's problems festering forever.
He comes in, booming economy and world peace, border solved.
Like, what more do you want from an American president, right?
Blind mean tweets.
And well, mean tweets are very bad.
So let's destroy the country because we didn't like Orange Man with the mean tweets.
But literally, it was worse than that because he was an existential threat to all of them.
Therefore, he must be destroyed.
He was making them all look bad.
He was exposing the depth of corruption and rot and unwillingness to solve America's problems.
And that's why they're still at him because they want to stop him again.
But all of this is by design.
This is not like gross incompetence.
Stop excusing it or even stop excusing it based on his senility, you know, because there's a whole team around him that knows exactly what they're doing.
He's just a malleable puppet, you know, and they're pulling the strings on him and he's out there doing it, but they have to make up for the lost time under Trump.
So that's why they're moving with all deliberate speed to make up for those four years and try to lock all of this into place.
I think marionettes have strings and marionettes.
Puppets are the oh, you're right.
I stand corrected.
Thank you, Kyle.
Thank you.
That's the most important fact check that could happen.
Thank you.
And she said she never lied.
Yeah, she did.
Never lied while she was outspoken.
I am not a curse.
Spinning, Kyle.
Do you think that they're brainwashed from the CCP or being paid off?
Or do they want to just save the environment or they want to destroy the country?
That doesn't make sense.
I guess as someone who doesn't want to see my own country destroyed, it doesn't make sense to me.
But when I hear these people who say, oh, let's save the earth, but they say that to me.
And I don't think that paying a dollar and a half more for gas makes me save the earth.
Giving more money to the government doesn't help the earth.
Right.
So do these people just want to help something or are they being brainwashed by it?
So I think you have a couple of different levels of people, right?
So maybe the people that you're talking to and your friends or whatever that might be on the other side and they've been seduced by environmentalism, which is really a secular religion.
So, you know, I'm a believer.
I think you guys are believers.
They may or may not believe in God, but their secular religion is the environment, Mother Earth, right?
So those groups of people have sort of been taken along with this message about saving the planet.
It gives them a cause psychologically, spiritually.
They've got a cause in front of them that they can believe in and work toward, and it gives their lives meaning, right?
And all of us look for that in different ways.
So they may be, you know, authentically concerned with the environment, authentically green.
Okay.
And I want to give them the benefit of the doubt on that.
The problem is that the group above them, the regime, and I don't just mean the Biden administration, but like the whole regime running the country and the West, the globalists, for example, they have taken that issue and used it as a huge lever to try to affect this neo-Marxist revolution that we're talking about here.
You know, Klaus Schwab and the World Economic Forum, they talk about the fourth industrial revolution, where we will all like have their tagline is by 2030, you will own nothing and be happy.
Well, in order to get us to that neo-communist state, what's the biggest lever available to them?
It's the energy sector, right?
So they can bring along these kids and others who have been like taken with the environmental message.
They can take that and get like an army of useful idiots, like yay, the environment to go along with carrying their message while they're up here affecting this massive change to all Western economies that are basically, it's basically going to deliver us China.
That is their model of like a vanguard at the top.
Of course, they're in control.
You're enslaved.
You're disarmed, right?
They want to take away all of your weapons to disarm you.
And you're going to live in this environmental surveillance state.
They've been talking about global depopulation for a long time, that the world has too many people on it.
All of this is part of a much bigger agenda.
So, if you're just talking to a friend who's like, yay, I'm green, you know, but they've got one of those like coexist bumper stickers on their car, they have no intention of coexisting with you.
They want you gone, they want you enslaved or eliminated, and that's it.
This is not a conspiracy theory.
I mean, the World Economic Forum, World Health Organization, all of these globalists, Bill Gates, they're all out there very clearly telling you what their agenda is over the next 10 or 20 years for the world.
And the energy sector is a huge, if not the biggest part of it.
So, I should buy at least five My Patriot supply buckets.
The buckets, the like a year.
Oh, yeah.
I think it's a 30-day supply.
Especially with our discount at the Babylon B promo code.
Promo code B. B-E-E.
Well, here's a headline from the Washington Post: Seven ways a recession could be good for you.
Yes.
Financially.
Yeah.
I keep seeing this on the Instagram feed too, or oh, ways to take advantage of recession or a great time to invest.
It's like great time to invest no money that I don't like, don't have.
And another from Huffington Post: could a small nuclear war reverse global warming?
Yeah.
So they have gone from inflation is great for you.
Smile as you pay extra at the grocery store to a recession is great for you.
You know, get psyched about losing your job.
And now they've bumped up to a nuclear war is great for you because it's going to control global warming.
I don't think what?
Because we're going to be in a nuclear winter and nobody is going to be able to survive it.
But do you see the messaging?
You know, and they call us the conspiracy theorists, but their whole messaging is all of this negative stuff is good for you.
Take your medicine because it's about transforming the world.
And it used to be about, you know, saving the mackerel, you know, from polluted water.
And now it's, no, we're going to reorder all of Western society to make it look more like the CCP in China.
You will have zero freedoms and you'll be happy because we're going to save a blade of grass.
And you should be thanking us for that.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
So you worked with Richard Nixon and with Donald Trump.
So which one of them would win in a cage fight?
It's a good, really good question.
Which leads me to my next question about aliens.
Oh, what you could.
You know, whatever Statutes of Limitations allows you to tell us about space aliens or illegal aliens.
Which one are we talking about?
The space kind.
It's the illegal, too.
The illegal space kind.
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