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July 12, 2022 - Babylon Bee
29:36
Prime Time With Walking Satire Machine Alex Stein

The Babylon Bee spends prime time with Alex Stein, notable Blaze TV contributor and host of The Conspiracy Castle podcast. We learn behind the scenes info on his work posing as a far left madman at city council meetings and the importance of getting involved in local government. And did you know life isn't worth living without the love of a cat? You will!

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Time Text
Welcome everyone to the Babylon Bee interview show and our beautiful new set.
Today we get to talk to Alex Stein.
A cat is like a beautiful woman, like a supermodel.
You have to romance it.
You have to give it treats.
You have to pet it gently.
You have to give it just enough attention where the cat knows that you like it, but not too much attention.
You have to romance the cat.
And once you do, and you can attest to this, Kyle, a cat gives you the type of love that a dog cannot give.
Am I wrong?
I'll agree with that.
I was a little uncomfortable with some of the language he used.
Well, check out his YouTube channel also, and you can see some of his videos where he goes out and does crazy weird, plays character bits.
But yeah, here we go.
So welcome, Alex Stein, and go check out all his stuff on the internet.
Welcome, everyone, to the Babylon Bee interview show.
Yeah.
And this is our brand new podcast space, the very first interview in our new studio.
Welcome, Alex Stein.
You are our guinea pig today.
Well, you know what?
I really appreciate it.
And I just want to start off by kissing your guys Derier.
The Babylon Bee is a great satire site.
And that's what we need in this day and age.
Literally, there's a huge void in comedy.
And you guys inspired me because you have that Andy Kaufman-esque, is this real?
Is this fake?
And I think you guys do it in a journalistic style.
I try to do it in like a culture jamming style because seriously, humor is dead, you know?
And so like the only way to, I think, be humorous is to kind of blend the line of reality and fiction.
Well, I wouldn't dare compare us to Andy Kaufman.
I never thought of that comparison before.
Kind of.
I mean, you guys are like, we're also like Andy Kaufman in that many of us have day jobs in case this doesn't work.
And I like that he worked at a diner.
Well, that's also another thing, you know, about Andy Kaufman.
I mean, he's a weird guy.
He's like my comedic idol.
I'm not as good as Andy Kaufman by any means.
He could do like the brilliant Elvis impression.
But like I talk about, you know, the culture jamming, that's what I do.
I mean, I guess you'll talk about it a little bit.
But I think that's what Babylon Bee does.
You take like the most absurd aspects of our culture and you kind of just shine a light on it.
And then people have to be like, is this real?
You know, just that's what that's what we have to do in this day and age of political correctness.
There's no humor left.
They're afraid to talk about all these subjects.
Yeah.
Well, the Kauffman thing is like being willing to be the butt of your own joke as well.
And I think we've tried to do that.
Like we try to have a good level of that versus just smacking your political opponent in the face all the time.
Like humor for the sake of humor versus like always trying to own the lip.
I mean, we own the libs 95% of the time, but the other 5%, we're willing to.
You have to be self-deprecating.
Come on.
That's the whole point of comedy.
Any comedian, and that's why, like, I'm not even trying to call him out, but Brendan Schaub, I don't bring him up at the beginning of this article, but he gets crushed on the internet because he can't take a joke.
I don't know if you're that familiar with him.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Okay, well, he's like the buddies of Joe Rogan, and he has this comedy special that got like reamed with all these other comedians.
I'm just saying certain comedians, they call themselves comedians, you have to be the butt of the joke sometime.
I mean, even Louis C.K., Tay Chappelle, I mean, they're not necessarily the butt of the joke all the time, but you kind of have to have that self-deprecating, you know.
And you get the sense that they can take a joke and, you know, in fairness, they kind of go after both sides.
They're not people who are on the right, but they'll go after the left.
Sometimes they're on either side.
And I think that self-deprecating is what's missing on both sides in a lot of political comedy now.
Because everybody is trying to make a point, it doesn't really have a fun, sort of self-deprecating, we're all in this, we can all laugh together feel to it anymore.
Yeah, well, I was just talking about how it's so crazy how Bill Maher, who's like one of the craziest liberals, you know, was defending you guys so much when you got deplatformed, talking about how, you know, the video that you got made, you know, the platform is basically making fun of the Twitter employees, you know.
But that's kind of shows you that most of your content didn't get you deplatformed.
But as soon as you actually have a joke that's like right on target, making fun of the people that shouldn't be made fun of, you're banned.
Instead of it being like kind of a, is this real or is this fake?
And this was basically, it shows you you guys just did a real, you guys just put a mirror up to what the Twitter employees were doing, going insane.
And then, oh, that's not humor to them.
Yeah, they cut you off immediately or suspended you.
Well, we found most of the stuff that gets us banned is, it's almost always an algorithm at first.
Like there's a robot that goes, you know, for whatever reason, it thinks this is hate speech.
And it's because, you know, when we write it in the satirical style, you know, we'll do something that's like, die, die, die.
But it's like we're saying that in a satirical way.
And they're like, oh, you're trying to murder this politician.
And it'll, you know, and it'll, it'll filter us out.
But then the weird thing is that it'll get reviewed by a human like inside Facebook or Twitter, you know, and they're like, and they'll confirm it.
Like, yep, this was a legit banning.
You know, like, who reads these?
You're 100% right.
I think YouTube is all artificial intelligence.
You're transcribing what you say.
But Twitter is the worst because people can report on Twitter.
And I don't know if you've ever tried to report somebody.
I haven't reported people.
I'm not like some big reporter.
But if you look at the thing now, now you can be reported for anything, for misgendering somebody.
I mean, the amount of things that you can report, it gives a human being, instead of having to worry about the artificial intelligence doing, it gives a human being like 10 million options to report people.
So I think different platforms, it's different stuff.
Like you're fighting the AI on YouTube.
I think Twitter, you're fighting like evil people that just don't like your content.
I have found YouTube isn't quite as bad.
I found like if you get one time, one of my videos got flagged, but then when I appealed it, like a human does review it.
And they were like, no, even if it's not, you know, entirely in line with their politics.
Now, I do think there are some people they still deep platform in YouTube, but it doesn't seem quite as bad as Twitter.
It's not the worst.
As long as you're not talking about medical stuff, you can get away with a lot.
But as soon as you say anything about the Fauci Auchi, you know, and we love the Fauci Auchi.
Thank you, Dr. Fauci.
You're the best doctor in the world.
You are so good.
We love you.
Especially at the Babylon B. There's a big picture of you hanging in here, but they don't want to admit that.
That's right.
It's over the urinals.
The ladies' room.
So you do this city council thing.
You go to the city council meetings.
And what are you just like an in-person troll?
Is that what this is?
Okay, well, let me tell you a little bit about Primetime 99 Alex Stein.
I'm going to give you the Cliff Note story.
So I worked for- I'm annoyed by that already.
Yeah, well, I'm annoying about Primetime 99 without.
I'm on the grind.
My high school football number is 99, and we're always on the grind.
So just real quick, so I worked for a show called Cheaters.
I signed an NDA.
We catch people cheating on their husbands and wives.
I remember that show.
Well, it's still on.
I can only say so much about it because I'm, you know.
No, this is what I want to talk about the rest of the time.
Yeah, well, we'll talk about cheaters.
So we did some stuff.
But cheaters, we do a lot of stunts, like you're running in places, you know, busting people in public.
So like, I'm used to being embarrassed and causing a scene in public.
So that's what kind of led me to this.
And what happened was, is on a serious note, the guy that was hosting the show is a guy named Clark Gable.
His grandfather was a guy, Clark Gable, from Gone with the Wind.
He was like my best friend.
When I talk about drug tolerance, this guy, like, you know, I went to LSU.
I knew people that did all kinds of drugs, had the highest drug tolerance I've ever seen.
Well, he went and bought pain pills that he thought was like Viking and or Oxcotten.
I don't know what he thought they were, but he thought they were normal pain pills.
They had fentanyl and he overdosed and died immediately.
And this is a guy that's not like some rookie 12-year-old kid, you know, at a story.
This story goes all over the place.
No, just wait.
It started.
Started with the money.
Clark Gable and then a fan.
So let me tell you something.
I'll finish the story.
So the host, he died of a fentanyl overdose, which is being rushed to the border.
Nobody's talking about the border crisis and all the drugs, 108,000 overdose deaths in America, record number.
But what I'm saying is he dies of a drug overdose 2019.
2020, they say, Alex, you're going to be the next host of cheaters.
So then when it came to hiring me, they hired like a 52-year-old DJ named Peter Guns that was, I forget what rap group he was in.
So I was like really disheartened and they wanted me to continue working on the show.
I said, F that, and I created my own podcast.
And that's when I started going to city council meetings and I started going very seriously, very earnestly, just being like, they close like the public restrooms at the park.
I'd be like, how does this stop the spread?
Like using a porter potty is not better than using, you know, the normal bathroom.
There's like this 81-year-old guy with a colosomy bag that said his name is Rudy.
He's like, I'm not going to use the park anymore.
I can't change my colosomy bag in a porter party.
So I was dead serious.
It's like, why will you shut this down?
Blah, I gave them all these facts and all this stuff.
And they looked at me like I was an idiot conspiracy theorist.
And they weren't wrong, but that's what they looked at me like.
Then I realized the next time I went and spoke there a month later, I said, I was like, I'm going to joke with them.
And we have a guy in Dallas named Eric Johnson.
I said, and this is like when the vaccine, you know, they're trying to pump up the vaccine.
I go, you know, Eric Johnson, what would help get the vaccine to people is you need to go in the gay community and give Eric Johnson's free Johnson to Johnson.
The gay community would love the double entendre.
And since you're the first openly gay mayor of Dallas, people would really like it.
He's not.
He's married, happily with a kid.
And he was shook.
You know, I could just tell by his reaction.
I was like, wow, this is what I need to do.
I got to joke.
And so that is what opened up Pandora's box.
And since then, I've been going there and just astroturfing as a crazy liberal or whatever the Ukrainian agenda is, whatever the agenda is, the mainstream media is pushing out.
I just go there and I try to act like I'm a lunatic pushing it.
So that's the story.
That's how we got here at the Babylon B prime time.
They're laughing at me.
Kyle Adams laughing.
That's what I want.
I want them laughing.
I want you guys having a good time.
I got a lot of energy.
I bring it.
You know what I mean?
This is it.
Prime time.
We're prime timing.
So your career was launched by the pandemic.
So you're happy that the pandemic happened.
No, no.
Just like you're happy that Clark Gable died.
No, see, I'm not.
I'm not.
And dude, gosh, I hate always having to bring this up.
Dude, my mom died of COVID-19.
Really?
Yeah, no, it's really, it's really bad.
She was given.
I retracted my joke.
Yeah, no, no, it's okay.
She was given Rim Desivir, and it's really sad.
And like, and they said they weren't going to do it.
And I'm actually suing Baylor Hospital right now with my attorney, John Gross.
So that's a whole thing.
And so the pandemic sucks, dude.
The pandemic, I would trade all the little bit of success that I've had.
It's like now I'm a Blaze TV contributor and I'm, you know, potentially going to have a show there starting soon.
And there's just a lot of opportunities that are knocking on my door now.
I would all trade them to go back because the lockdowns and, you know, we can only say so much for YouTube, but that is basically what my mom just shut down.
She didn't do anything.
She always wore a mask.
She didn't go out.
She just, and all of those lockdowns, if she would have continued living her life normal, I don't think this would have happened.
So when people say that, oh, Alex, you benefited from the pandemic.
No, I didn't benefit one thing.
I mean, now that I have some notoriety, I should have been creating my own podcast 10 years ago.
Instead of being on cheaters, producing those episodes, I should have been doing this a long time ago.
Kind of like when you started in 2016 or when, you know, the Babylon B started, I know you were working a day job and you kind of just started it because, you know, I was reading about it.
Like you just, you know, you were interested in it.
You liked it.
You're doing what you liked.
You know, you weren't like, oh, I want money.
That's exactly how I was.
I was doing this.
I had some money saved up.
I'm like, I'm not, I don't need any money.
I'm just doing this for the love of the game.
I want to try to, you know, culture jam.
I want to bring awareness to what's going on.
I want to wake people up because I think we're under constant trauma-based mind control.
And what that means is the media, CNN, whatever Brian Selter is going to say, it's always a death tracker.
It's always like negative.
The media is never going to be like positive.
And if it is positive, it's going to be like Kareem Jean Perrine or whatever her name is saying.
Inflation's good.
And, you know, it's all, it's just when they give you, whenever they tell you if it's positive, it's really not positive.
So I was just doing it to try to wake people up because so many people are under that mass formation hypnosis.
And now that I'm starting to have success, it does feel good.
People are like, oh, I want you to do a show here.
I want you to do a show here.
It is great.
I love that.
But at the same time, it's kind of sad we live in a world that's so starved for content by me doing these stupid trolls and stuff.
Oh, you're a genius.
I'm not.
I'm an idiot.
I have a mental, I was dropped on my head as a baby.
I just want that known.
So I'm not a genius.
Anybody can do this.
Babylon B, I don't know you guys, you guys, I'm sure everybody tells y'all, y'all are such geniuses.
And you're probably like, not really.
People tell us we're idiots to our okay, but you know what I mean.
Kyle, you know, you say where you dropped on your head as a baby.
They just asked, I'm just saying, it's like we're so starved for content because look at the top movies from the 90s.
It's like, you know, Pulp Fiction, Shaw Shank Redemption, you know, American Pie.
These are like, you know, some of the top movies.
And the top movies of 2021 is like Boss Baby 2, Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
So art is devolving.
So it's not only, it's almost not.
Did you enjoy Sonic the Hedgehog 2?
I didn't see it.
I didn't see it.
Did you see it?
Was it good?
No, I didn't.
I heard it was good.
I like something, but I didn't hear it was it.
Sonic the Hedgehog 1 was terrible.
I'm kidding.
I didn't see any Sonic the Hedgehog movie.
I've not.
No, I haven't seen a movie in a while.
I need to go see Top Gun.
Top Gun.
Top Gun's great.
Well, I'm about to go.
I think after this, I'm going to go to Scientology and see if I can go try to find Tom Cruise.
Okay.
So hopefully.
You're going to go into the which one?
The Celebrity Scientology?
Well, the Celebrity Center, the blue one is the one I think I can get access to.
I'm going to just try to join.
I'm going to say I saw Top.
I saw that.
Was it on Hollywood or Sunset?
Is that the there's one on?
Yeah, there's one on Hollywood or Sunset, but then there's one that's on Franklin.
Okay, that's the celebrity center.
That's the big one.
That's the one that's.
The celebrity one, I did stand-up in there one time.
They had a stand-up show in the Celebrity Scientology Center.
Shut up, Adam.
And they were all super nice, and they didn't try to recruit me.
And I was like, that's how unsuccessful I am.
Wait, you've been inside the celebrity center.
Yeah, I did stand-up there.
That's cool.
I mean, I just.
There's a comedian who's a Scientologist that I met at another show, and she booked me on their show there.
And there was some Scientologist audience members, some non-Scientologist audience members.
And I have a joke about Scientology that I did at another show, and there's Scientologists there, and they enjoyed the joke, even though it was about Scientology and started coming to other shows.
Well, everybody bashes Scientology, and I'm not a Scientologist, but it's like you look at Tom Cruise's new viral video going around talking about how antidepressants aren't great for mental health.
And if you really look at the side effects of antidepressants, like suicidal idolization, I mean, you know, cotton mouth or whatever, there's a laundry list of side effects.
And they're just anybody will prescribe you an antidepressant.
You go to any sort of doctor, like your general doctor, your psychologist.
I think he has a point.
I think we're over-medicated.
So, in that sense, of not taking so many pharmaceutical drugs, I vibe with Scientology.
It sounds like you're going to make a really good Scientology.
I know.
I'm already going to join L. Ron Hubbard, Zenu.
I think Xenu, the Intergalactic Warlord.
It'll be 20 years from now.
You'll be like, as a bit, I've been a member of the Church of Scientology for 21 years.
Me and Leah Remini are going to have a fight in the streets.
Now she's going viral.
You know, she had that hit show exposing Scientology, but she's the only reason she got super successful in all of those shows was because she was a Scientologist.
So it's kind of like, I don't know.
When you turn your back on the people that helped you, I kind of don't like Leah Remini now.
You got to hand it to the Scientologists.
I think I still like Leah Reminiscence.
You do.
I don't have a strong opinion about her.
I liked the documentary.
It was cool.
The documentary, Going Clear, is great.
But then she had another show.
I mean, I'm not saying I don't like Leah Remini, but she's exactly what you said.
Well, she got all this clout from Scientology.
Now she's getting all this clout.
I don't like it.
I'm not saying I don't like her.
I'm in the middle with her.
I'm in the middle of everything.
But Leah Remini, she's just, I mean, I don't know.
She's just weird how she exploited Scientology and now she's exploiting it outside of Scientology.
So she's just, you know, she's very exploitive, I guess you'd say.
Okay, all right.
Well, let's go back to the important stuff.
Cheaters.
Tell us.
So how real was it?
Well, I can only say so much.
That's where I signed the NDA.
It was the most real show that you'll ever see on TV.
Every ounce of it was 100% real.
And the thing about cheaters, though, it's like this is really what you guys do and what we're doing is we're so starved for content.
And the show is like syndicated in like 39 countries or something.
People love to see Americans just be total white trash.
You know, I mean, there's no other way to the appeal of cops.
Exactly.
And cops got taken away, but now they're bringing patrol, PD.
I think they're rechanging the name.
They're always bringing it back because we do want to see that.
I think people want to see like other people doing worse than them.
That's why they want to see somebody get arrested because it makes them feel better about their life.
And that's kind of the vibe in California that I've seen.
So I used to live here about eight years ago.
And I feel like everybody here is kind of in a, and this is my woo-woo thing, it's kind of in a low vibrational state because there seems like there's no middle class.
Seems like everybody's either just struggling barely to make it or you're like super rich.
Vibrational state.
Is that a Scientology?
No, no, it sounds like it, but this is, but I'll get into the vibration.
So we are like bees.
We're buzzing.
We have vibrational energy.
Like fish.
Well, kind of, you're either low vibrational.
Well, say whatever.
I'm just saying you're either low vibrational or you're high.
How did you hear that bees are fish now in California?
Yeah, I saw that so they can protect them on the wildlife conservatory list or whatever.
That's the joke.
Yeah.
But this is what I'm talking about, the vibing is when you're low vibrational, you get attracted to other low vibrational people.
That's why misery loves company.
When you're high vibrational, you attract other high vibrational people.
So it just seems like California used to be this, you know, the king of the country.
This is the best place on earth.
It doesn't feel like that anymore.
You know, like think about everybody wanting to go on vacation to Los Angeles and Hollywood.
And all of a sudden, now it's like, I mean, say what you will, everybody's kind of anti-Hollywood.
And it's just weird to see how that direction, and whether it's like queuing on people saying, oh, Hollywood or pedophiles, I'm not saying that, but that's kind of like the underlying, I'm not queuing on, but I'm saying, you know, that's like the, Hollywood used to be the greatest thing ever.
Everybody idolized it.
Now it almost is like a negative connotation.
I mean, would you guys agree?
There is definitely a negative connotation to sort of being a part of Hollywood.
Hollywood, I think.
Apart from even the conspiracy theory stuff, it's just seen as being either elitist or too political or, you know, even the film industry that's staying in LA, there's film productions moving elsewhere.
It doesn't feel like the sort of central cool place to be all the time.
It used to be the coolest.
Like you look at the, because I'm a reality TV show expert, like the Hills and all these reality shows that would, you know, just like glamorize California.
Just the glamorization of California has gone away.
And a big part of that, I think, is my dad, he's a bail bondson.
I'm a licensed bail bondson as well.
So in New York and California, they're doing bail reform.
And that's the problem is now people can get out of jail for the same form you sign to get a public defender.
You can sign and you get an ROR bond, release on own recognizance.
So if you're indigent, if you don't have money to pay for a bomb, you can get out of jail.
That's why there's a 23-year-old grad student, UCLA grad student was stabbed to death in a high-end furniture store in West Hollywood.
And the guy that stabbed her had 17 prior convictions was let out of jail.
So that's what's happening with our society is you're letting people out of jail.
And these criminals talk when they go to jails.
So they know to commit crimes in cities where they're lenient on it.
So it's like they're rotting these places, these cultural places like New York is the same place with bail reform.
California.
And all that does is that crime breeds other crime.
So we got to be not needing.
It's the vibrations.
It is low vibrational.
Just trying to get that.
That is part of it.
And California used to be so high vibrational.
Good vibrations.
Like the Beach Boys.
No, no, no, no.
Good vibrations.
Now it's like it'd be the fentanyl boys.
Now we're going to get flagged for using a music usage for DMCA takedown or what DCMA takedown, whatever that's called.
It's just not glamorized as much, Kyle.
This place used to be the mecca of cool, and it doesn't feel like that anymore.
It doesn't feel as cool and hip as it used to be.
I mean, I love California.
I do think LA has always been a little bit overrated or glamorized just in that because it's always been on TV and people have this image of what it is and it's not what it is.
It's like the taco stand at 2 a.m.
That's what's cool about LA.
Not the like sunset strip.
To me, I mean, that's.
But then you just look at this.
Look at San Francisco.
I mean, everybody's talking about there's apps on San Francisco where it tell you where there's human feces on the street because there's so many people pooping on the street.
That wasn't like this 10 years ago, 15 years ago.
I mean, and so you can just tell, and San Francisco, one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
I mean, you would never, 15 years ago, you would never say, oh, San Francisco is a hellhole.
And now literally, anybody you talk to, what do you think about San Francisco?
Oh, that place is trash.
And that's one of the coolest places in the world.
So it's not just Los Angeles.
It's like the whole entire state of California.
And you got guys like Gavin Newsom, who's the biggest creep in the world.
He cares about his haircut more than he does about his people.
You know, that's what's so sad about it is that the problem with California is how it's run.
I still think it's a beautiful state.
I still think LA and San Francisco are both really fun cities.
They have so much good there going for them.
It's just the people in position as mayors, the district attorneys, or governor, they're just handing it over to crime and homelessness and just the economic conditions are driving businesses away.
It's crazy.
Well, that's the point I was talking about, the bail reform.
I mean, that is a huge part of it.
It's just the criminality breeds more criminality, the low vibrational stuff.
Yeah.
All right, right.
So, what's your best bail bond story?
Oh, my gosh.
Okay.
So, when I was a little kid, one of my first memories is my dad wrote a bond for this Mexican mafia, like cartel guy.
Like, oh, this is what he really spoke.
Yeah, this is no listen.
So, because this is why it was really traumatizing.
And so, I'm laughing about it.
It's going to end up being a little bit more.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm laughing.
No, but this is messed up.
So, what happened was he wrote a bond for these cartel guys.
I think it was like a $250,000 bond.
So, you paid 10%.
So, they paid him $25,000 cash.
And as soon as the guy got out of jail, the cartel guy, he said, I want my money back.
I'm going to come get you.
So, my mom and I had to go to Florida.
We had to go hide in Florida for two weeks.
And my dad went hidden like California.
You know, they went to different places, so they couldn't find us.
So it's like stuff like that.
One of the earliest memories is like hiding from the Mexican mafia on a bail bond.
So, yeah, it's in it's dude.
I could have been a bail bonds, and I still have my license.
This is why the bail bond business sucks is because you're dealing with criminals and like you have to keep track of them, whether you put an ankle monitor on them or have them call in and check in.
It's like swimming in a toilet bowl.
Is not Dog the Bounty Hunter is friends with my dad.
I mean, we know Dog the Bounty Hunter.
So, if that says anything, you don't want to be personal friends with Dog the Bounty Hunter.
That means your life is not going in the right direction.
Now, I know you signed an NDA, but can you tell us your best cheater's bust where you kick the door down?
The best one is, and I forget what I think it was Steve Harvey that played it.
So, we caught two people there in one of these like dingy motels where they have the bathtub like next to the bed.
You know what I'm talking about?
Like a honeymoon?
I've never been in one of those, but you've seen them, right?
Sure.
So, you could, like, I guess if you're making love, you could go right into the bed.
I don't know why you'd have, I don't know, I don't know why the reason, but I really don't ever understood the layout of that, but that is a popular layout.
I don't know if it is any longer.
So, we bust in, and there's like 200 packets of like ramen noodles, and they were having sex in like a bathtub full of ramen noodles, like a bowl of soup.
Yes, and so the reason why it was so memorable is so when they got out, they're naked in these wet ramen noodles.
Part of the room is carpet, part of the room is like tile, and all the cameramen were slipping on the ramen noodles because they're so slick because they're like, you know, when the noodles have been sitting in water for forever, you know, they'd be like, They're just you know, so soft that people were just falling.
So, that was one of the most memorable ones because so many people were falling down.
I was worried somebody's gonna like bust their head open, but yeah, everybody lived.
Can you still eat ramen noodles or that ring?
Oh, I eat them more, I eat them every day.
I mean, the more attractive back, yeah, tantalizing, yeah, quite titillating.
Uh, so when it comes to comedy, are you more?
I know we talked about it a little bit earlier, but you go to these things, you do your Andy Kaufman bit or whatever, you do your council meetings.
Are you trying to like make this big point to get out there?
Are you just trying to make everybody laugh?
Well, no, it's funny you say that because like people are like, What is your motivation?
And the thing that motivates me the most, did I make you laugh on that?
Okay, I just wrong.
Wrong pipe.
This is what I'm saying.
I'm not trying to virtue signal.
My favorite thing is when somebody tells me, Oh, Alex, I went and spoke at a meeting because I saw you do it.
Because really, dude, I don't care if it's the smaller the town, the lower the parks and rec board, doesn't matter what they are.
Any politician that is in charge of things, something has a self-righteous self-importance about themselves.
And it's so stupid.
It's like you're literally voting on, you know, how far the sidewalk should be from the street or, you know, whatever little thing you're voting for.
But every single person has a self-righteousness about them.
So when people go and they stand up and they call them out, it actually affects them now because I'm like well known for doing it.
You know, they almost want to ignore me.
But I'm telling you, everybody, if you're in a little town and you're having an issue, you should go speak and say something because you don't know what the effect it could have.
And you're not going to have any effect if you do nothing, right?
If you do nothing at all, you're going to have no effect.
So if you go and actually speak up, you can invoke change.
And that's the whole point of life.
It's like life is so short.
We have all these people, these social engineers, whatever, these politicians that are all bought and sold.
And this is me getting the conspiratorial part.
We're bought and sold by multinational corporations that donate to these people.
So they're not listening to you and me because we're not donating to their campaign.
So it's the reason why Pfizer, that's the reason why Apple computers, they have all the power.
We don't really have the power.
We need to take back the power.
And the only way to do it is at the lowest forms of government talking about the district attorneys, talking about whatever issues, the homelessness, because if they actually hear you say it enough, they're like, oh, well, maybe we should fix it.
But instead, they're getting all their information from corporations that don't care about us.
You know, do you think like a real estate company cares about kicking homeless people out of places?
They don't because all they care about is making money.
So that is really what we need to do is we need to have more of a human touch instead of a corporation touch in the decision making of our cities.
Yeah, one thing that the pandemic really revealed for us was that was how important the local politics is.
Because our local sheriff where I am was like, you know, told Gavin Newsom to go F himself or whatever.
And you realize that those little things that you just kind of ignore at the bottom of the ballot, like I'll vote for president, I'll vote for congressperson.
That's important.
All the local stuff can have a huge effect.
They have the biggest effect on your everyday life.
I mean, obviously it'd be better if we had more power there versus the federal government.
We don't right now, but we can still affect things on the local level, I think.
Yeah, and I mean, you say that too.
It's like you look at society right now, especially in California.
This is what kind of bugs me, though.
It's like, you know, I just went to, we're in Dallas here doing a drag queen story time directed for children inside of a gay bar.
Like literally, they were simulating sex.
And you were one of the drag queens.
I wish.
No, I tried.
I actually tried to dance or they wouldn't let me.
I didn't have good enough makeup.
But that story was like the biggest story.
Everybody's talking about how they're sexualizing children.
It got shared, you know, like millions of hits on Twitter and everybody's talking about it.
They created legislation in Texas.
They created legislation.
DeSantis is going to create it in Florida, making it where kids can't go to a drag show.
In California, we made it mandatory.
Yeah, that guy, Weiner, he wants to make it K-12 education.
Yeah, drag queen.
So that shows you where we're at.
But this is the problem is now we're talking about this.
I don't care if you're a drag queen for adults or whatever.
But the problem, that's a big problem, the sexualization of children.
We have massive inflation.
We're giving $60 billion to the Ukraine.
And you walk around through California, it's tons of homeless people.
We're not taking care of our actual problems because everybody gets distracted.
Like, I feel almost guilty for bringing attention to this.
Not that it didn't need to bring attention because once again, they can just sweep all of our other problems just under the rug and nobody notices.
And now we're like having all this pearl clutching, oh, these transgenders are trying to transition my kid.
Yes, that is happening, but there's also XYZ that's happening too that we're not paying attention to.
Good answer.
Good answer.
I know.
I mean, I got an answer for every question.
And now you were telling me a little bit just before we started recording, you were suspended from Twitter over a tweet about this drag queen stuff, right?
Okay, so yeah, I mean, I literally just said I was, so when I was trying to get into the event, I got attacked.
Like they knocked my phone out of my hand.
I mean, physically punched in.
And so there was a video of it, somebody else posted, and I just said, you know, we got to stand up against these sick psychopaths.
And they got me for hateful conduct.
And it was a 12-hour suspension.
And so in my mind, I was like, oh, I'm going to do the Babylon B route.
I'm going to, I'm going to appeal it and not accept it.
Because as soon as you click the delete button, when you get a suspension, it even says on the tweet, you know, you admit this is hate conduct or whatever.
You know, you know, so it's an admission of guilt.
Yeah.
So I'm like, I didn't, I didn't do hateful conduct.
You know, I don't want to admit this.
So I was like, oh, I'm going to have integrity.
And then I waited five days, multiple appeals.
I did the appeal process there.
And then like you can do like through the help menu, you can, you know, send them a message.
And I didn't hear anything back.
And I had multiple, you know, people that are like tech savvy or social media savvy that said, you just got to delete the tweet because the longer you stay in the appeal process, they're less likely to overturn it because they don't want to look like they were wrong.
So they're more likely to just suspend your whole account and just say Sayonara instead of correcting their mistakes.
So then I had to delete it.
And it makes me sick because I don't, I'm not as big as you guys.
And you guys are having integrity by not deleting the tweet.
I respect that.
You have none.
Absolutely.
Yeah, zero.
I wear women's bathing suits in city council meetings.
So yeah, I don't have integrity.
But this is a hypocrite.
Yeah.
That's the thing to drag queens up wearing.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
We were dumb back in the 80s and 90s.
And I think we're just getting dumber now.
So that's why the Twitter.
Now, to be fair, now they know their teacher's sexual orientation.
Not too much attention with the cat.
You know, it's like, oh, this person, you know, I have him around my finger.
We have to romance the cat.
And once you do, and you can attest to this guy, the cat gives you the type of love that a dog cannot give.
Am I wrong?
I'll agree with that.
I was a little uncomfortable with some of the language he used.
This has been another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee.
Reminding you that someone out there knows something about Carmen.
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