The Bee Weekly: Ultra-MAGA Siaka and the Libertarian Zoomer
Kyle Mann is joined by The Babylon Bee's own MJ and special guest Siaka Massaquoi. The trio discuss laaaaaame Democrats, the FBI confiscating MAGA hats, Gen Z being a weird generation, and more! New editions of Bee Radio and Weakly News are here… and MJ answers questions from her Twitter followers. They all seem to like her but the rest of us have to deal with hate mail. Why do we keep getting these? You're hurting our feelings, you guys. FROWNY FACE. Siaka Massaquoi is also running for California office as representative of District 43! If you're in that area try legally voting for him. He seems cool. And he's black. Also, check out his What The Fact channel on Rumble and on Instagram. This episode is brought to you by Alliance Defending Freedom! Support the ones defending your freedom and receive a free American flag as a thank you! This episode is also brought to you by Faithful Counseling! Get the help that you need today from counselors who share your faith and your values and get 10% off! This episode is also brought to you by our friends at PublicSq who are connecting freedom-loving Americans with their local communities, reliable information, and the businesses that share their values. Now available on the App Store, Google Play, Windows, and Mac.
Biden blames inflation on ultra MAGA policies that would hurt families.
But hey, at least it's not super ultra MAGA 2 Turbo Championship edition.
People are intimidating Supreme Court justices outside their homes, just as the founding fathers intended.
Elon Musk announced he will unban Trump from Twitter.
But Trump is busy living his truth.
There's a shortage on baby formula.
Too bad women don't exist anymore, or they could just breastfeed.
The iPod is being discontinued after years of no one using it.
It now joins Microsoft Zune.
I'm too young for that.
And I heaven.
All this and more on.
The B weekly.
Here we are, everybody.
The Babylon Bee podcast.
Today I'm joined by Morgan, our social media manager.
Do you want to go by Morgan or MJ?
Do you care?
Let's go with MJ.
So we're joined by Morgan and Siaka.
There you go.
You got it.
Do you want to go by Siaka or MJ?
Let's stick with Siaka this time.
Next time I come back.
Should I try to pronounce your last name?
Are we good with Siaka?
I mean, most people don't usually just call me Siaka.
Oh, he got it.
Did I nail it?
He got it.
Siaka, Masakoy.
I got it.
You are running for state assembly in District 43 here in California.
Yes, sir.
That's a crazy blue LA County, but hey, we got to take a shot.
We got a fight, man.
That's awesome.
If someone's going to do it, it's you.
Wow.
Thank you.
Yeah, from your lips to God's ears, I like to say.
I've known you for five minutes.
This guy got it in a bag.
There it is.
There it is.
You guys heard it here first, folks, on the Babylon Bee podcast.
It's in the bag.
Yeah.
So, I mean, it's been cool and interesting to put my name in a hat.
You know, I've been kind of active anyway for the last two years, and I feel like this has been a natural progression to, you know, rallies and speaking there and joining different organizations.
So let's see what we can do to take the state back in the right direction and turn it back to the right direction.
That's awesome.
And you also do some acting and producing and small business owning.
Yeah, well, when I can, when they allow you to stay open.
Well, my trade, you know, I'm an actor by trade.
This is what I came out to do, you know, back in 2004.
I came here from Chicago and acting was the one thing I found that I enjoyed the preparation just as much as the end result.
And so I was living my dream in 2019.
You know, I actually had a play that was going to open up the week that they shut down.
And that play was for me to like reinvigorate myself with the love of acting because it was getting very business-like and audition.
You read like eight scripts, get printed, you know, you do your thing.
And this play was that play and it was getting me back in love with the arts and then, nope, shut down, right?
So, but I think it opened up and pushed me in a direction and pushed me and some friends to we make our own sketch comedy.
You know, we're joining groups now that we've established one of the founding members of Hollywood4Freedom.com, where we're organizing with other production companies around Southern California, even all the way out to some in Tennessee and then New York.
And we're building infrastructure for like-minded individuals who just want to tell good stories and doesn't want they don't want to be inundated with agenda.
Right.
When we've seen like our greatest IPs going to crap because of this, right?
So we've started this.
And I think even as bad as 2020 was for a lot of reasons, I think it propelled us to get back to that space that we really are, which are creators and get back to that creative space.
So we created that.
We've been creating sketch comedy with whatthefact.tv for the last year and a half.
And yeah, I want to continue to make movies and make films and even shoot music videos.
So it's kind of thing where it's, we have to create this because they're not doing it for us.
And what they are giving us is telling everyone to feel bad about what they believe in their heart and soul.
And I'm over it.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Well, this has been the Babylon B podcast.
Thanks for joining us, everyone.
Thanks for tuning in.
Wow, that was easy.
Sorry, guys.
No, it was great.
It's just, you know, you've given us more substance and content than we usually have on a full episode.
So I normally edit this podcast.
So yeah, you're just giving us a lot of great material.
No, yeah, well, you know, let's do it.
Maybe split it up and we'll make it like four different episodes.
No, we should get smart people more often, like people that have something to say.
I think that maybe is the key.
Yeah, maybe we can bring in some new listeners that are like, I'm here for the intellectual.
Well, we can get funny too.
It's just, we're not there yet.
We are pretty good at that.
You guys are great at that.
Yes, you guys are great at the comedy and so great that you guys will get banned on Twitter.
I think that, can we?
I want to applaud that.
Can I applaud that?
Sure.
I'll do it.
I think they're done.
They've clapped enough about it.
It was a.
Travis started to clap, and then nobody else did, and he got intimidated and got scared.
Hey, I'll lead the way.
Hey, trust me.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
Trust me, I've been out there on my own getting yelled at for the last two years.
I'm good.
So we can.
People think that because I'm the social media manager, people think that I'm the one that got the B-ban because they're like, oh, you must have posted the tweet.
And I get to be like, no, it actually wasn't me.
It was our other editor.
Oh.
Yeah.
So no one holds that against me.
It was not me.
Does the other editor still work here?
He does.
He's fantastic.
But he always tends to get us in trouble the most.
So we just need to pin things on Joel.
Well, hey, Elon's coming back.
Yeah.
Maybe he'll get us back.
Yeah, Elon's going to open the door.
Yeah.
True.
Or maybe if you get a seat on the assembly, I mean, you can put in the bill.
Yeah, once I got it.
I got to.
Yeah, there's a lot of stuff going on.
Yeah, if Elon doesn't do it.
We're counting on you.
Well, let's go.
Let's do it.
I'm slashing and dicing laws and bills when I go up there.
There's too many laws.
You ever feel like that?
It's like too many.
I'm a libertarian.
I feel like that every day.
Well, there you go.
Every day.
There you go.
I want a libertarian in my cabinet.
All right.
I'll think of my cabinet position.
You see?
There we go.
Let's do this.
You get a cabinet.
Yeah, well, you get people you work with.
Not necessarily a cabinet.
No, you don't get secretary of defense.
No, no, I won't get.
I get a secretary of my defense.
It's going to be a big black dude named Durrell.
I'll use that sword over there.
He's going to carry.
Durrell's going to carry the sword too.
So we already discussed this.
Well, this week on the Babylon Bee, we had a banger of the week.
Hey, Babylon B listeners, Kyle here asking you to be a flag bearer for freedom.
Right now, ADF is looking for flag bearers to help lead the fight against the Biden administration's policies and the anti-freedom attacks targeting our kids, churches, schools, women's sports, and First Amendment rights.
Your monthly gift to Alliance Defending Freedom helps protect parents and children, female athletes, churches, and everyday Americans trying to freely live out their faith.
Please support ADF today by going to adflegal.org/slash B. That's adflegal.org/slash B-E-E.
And thanks for your continued support of ADF.
You will receive a three by five-foot American flag.
With this flag, show your support for the greatest country of all time and your willingness to step up when our freedoms are under attack.
Claim your gift and help defend religious liberty and free speech today by going to adflegal.org slash be.
That's adflegal.org slash B E E. Banger of the week.
Let's check out our banger of the week.
This is our top performing article.
Buffalo hat wearing Elizabeth Warren leads insurrection against the Supreme Court.
Of course, we actually did have Elizabeth Warren out there shouting things that would have gotten Trump banned from Twitter back in the day.
I mean, we all saw the video.
Yeah, well, she didn't actually wear Buffalo.
Well, I know, I know.
That won't be Joe.
Which was great, though.
But we saw her riling everybody up.
Where's the tears?
I remember how they talked about the six and everyone.
Where's all the nothing?
She's fine.
Yeah, she's fine.
Okay.
Okay.
She's good.
Well, she's native, so I get it.
They don't want to, the indigenous people here, you know, they want to leave them alone.
The crazier one was.
We can't talk about the Trail of Tears with her.
No, it's very set.
It's about 0.000082%.
No, 0082% sensitive for her, I guess.
That's true.
That's true.
Sad, not good.
Not good.
But the crazy one was the Lori Lightfoot tweet that I, oh, I see that in the notes, but I saw that the other day.
Yeah, when she said we need to, what did she say, take up arms?
Yeah, take up arm.
Like if that can't be interpreted as to go to the other side.
And like any other, like a call to arms or something.
Yeah, this, this woman who said, good luck, you're on your own south side of Chicago, west side of Chicago, but had police officers on her block on either side to protect her house and says, well, I need to go get my hair done.
But like the shooting statistics in Chicago is just a very interesting choice of words.
I mean, it's like the it would be, if it was a movie, we would laugh at it, but it's like real lives, you know?
Like to see, and I'm from Chicago.
So I've watched this since 2010 and then turn it up and to turn it into a war zone.
It wasn't that where I grew up.
And yeah, there were bad parts and they had Cabrini Green high-rises.
But when your mayor is saying that, you know, telling councilmen that want to help their community that are afraid and being shot at, a lot of them shot and killed old ladies that have stores burned down.
It's like she's telling them to shut the up.
I'm going to be honest.
Lori Lightfoot is straight up my sleep paralysis demon.
Oh my goodness.
I'm sorry.
Like I don't want to like most appearances, but I'm so scared of her.
She looks like Peteljuice.
It's fine.
Here's the old hag sitting at the end of my bed when I wake up.
Do you just start saying the Lord's Prayer right when it happens?
That usually helps.
I'm not Catholic, but I'm doing hundreds.
Hey, it still works.
It still works.
When the demon comes in your room, just say the Lord's Prayer.
Give you a little, get you out of there.
Absolutely.
Did you guys know the tweet that got Trump banned from Twitter?
So she goes and she says the, you know, take up arms.
It's time to fight.
You know, his tweet was, the 75 million great American patriots who voted for me, America first to make America great again, will have a giant voice long into the future.
They will not be disrespected or treated unfairly in any way, shape, or form.
To all those who have asked, I will not be going to the inauguration on January 20th.
That got him banned from Twitter for glorifying violence.
Honestly, like, it was such a big deal, but I didn't even remember any part of that.
That was the tweet that they said.
And they said, well, we have to interpret this more broadly in the context of the election.
But take up arms means take up arms is fine.
That just means protest.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Love that for us.
Man, we need everyone to get out and vote.
Get out and vote.
And here in California, I'm sorry to switch, but it's like we've seen this.
Get out and vote.
And you can't be, sorry, independents.
Independent voters, you got to have to pick a side because if you don't pick a side, then you truly don't have anyone to pick in the general because the primaries are right now.
And this is when you have to get out there and vote.
Register as Republican or Dem, I don't care.
But this way you get to vote in the primaries, guys.
Like this is.
also share Babylon B articles on Twitter while we're gone to trigger a lib yes there you go but sadly some Babylon B articles didn't get shared that much like our bomb of the week bomb of the week demons of hell unanimously agree about value of gender affirming care for children it's like uh let me ask you this what consists of a bomb It like just didn't get that many shares.
So we look at the share counts and the one that didn't get very many shares.
I mean, you guys can be like pretty based, but it's ones that, you know, you don't want to share it to your great aunt.
Yeah, I was like, demons of demons.
You got gender-affirming children.
That's like, you guys, hey, I'm all about comedy.
I can see how that could be hard.
I also don't think a lot of people know what gender-affirming care is.
That's true.
It is one of those soft words to try to disguise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As we want to turn it, you're kidding.
Sometimes we just go in a little hard.
We had the Mickey Mouse and the transgender scalpel the other week.
Was that the bomb?
Wait, but that's, that's, isn't Disney doing that anyway?
Well, it was like the secret mouse scatool is the transgender surgery scalpel.
Just surprise tool that will help us later.
Yeah, no, I'm sitting next to Kyle while he's posting that and he kept doing the voice all day and it was hilarious.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot I did that in Florida.
That's so awesome.
But that's what I'm saying.
I think you guys aren't satirical on that topic, though.
So one thing that has not bombed at the Babylon B, though, is Sizzler Facts.
Five weeks ago, we debuted a new feature to the podcast called Sizzler Facts, and it has been met with overwhelmingly positive feedback.
Here's an interesting Sizzler fact out of Stockton, California.
Captain Crabb, boiling seafood in bar, recently took over a vacant restaurant in Elk Grove, formerly occupied by, you guessed it, Sizzler.
While they do offer Louisiana-style Cajun seafood, one thing they don't offer is choices.
This has been Sea Facts.
Now it's time for B Radio with Austin Robertson.
Factually inaccurate.
Morally correct.
This is Babylon B Radio.
Our top story.
FBI agents have confronted the mob surrounding Justice Kavanaugh's home, warning them to steer clear of the house next door as a local school board member lives there.
The FBI had initially declined to investigate security risks to the Supreme Court justices as agents were busy planning how to kidnap another moderately attractive Democrat governor.
However, after being alerted of the mob's proximity to a school board member, the FBI immediately surrounded the area with snipers and dispatched several SWAT units.
At publishing time, the FBI said it would remain all hands on deck to protect the school board from dangerous parents who try to read disturbing assigned elementary curriculum at board meetings.
The FBI has also requested that calls from those annoying female gymnasts be sent to voicemail.
The U.S. House of Representatives is scheduled to vote on a health care bill that, if passed, will legalize Clinton-assisted suicide in all 50 states.
The bold new bill, which experts are calling a major win for civil rights, will award the Clinton family a veritable license to kill.
They will be legally certified to terminate the elderly, disabled, comatose, and politically inconvenient at their own discretion.
How Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
Many people don't want to be alive.
We can't force people to live, especially those who are close to exposing government secrets.
Being a whistleblower or independent journalist is an obvious cry for help.
They are literally saying, please kill us.
And who are we to tell them that they can't shoot themselves twice in the back of the head?
If the bill goes to the Senate, it will likely pass only with the help of a tiebreaking vote by VP Kamala Harris.
The VP's already voiced approval for the bill and has described suicide as a time when people kill themselves.
And that time is every day.
Republican leaders have decried the bill as the legalization of murder and a dangerous blow in the heart of democracy.
House Democrats have warned Republicans to stop the partisan rhetoric or else they might end up committing suicide.
During a press conference aimed at praising the commander-in-chief's flawless track record, Press Secretary Jen Saki begrudgingly took a question from some gloom and doom journalists describing parents' struggles in finding baby formula.
Saki Gaffaud, saying parents unable to obtain baby formula should just feed their babies a margarita and put them in a kickboxing class.
After the press conference, progressive parents who voted for Biden obediently followed Saki's advice.
A late-breaking update to this story, President Biden has announced a new plan to address the formula crisis, asking each illegal immigrant to please bring one can of formula to drop off when they cross the border.
The Border Patrol has been directed to set up donation boxes at popular crossing points.
Biden promises that any immigrant who drops off a can before entry will not be thrown into one of his cages.
As an added incentive, those who bring a can of the high-dollar Similac Pro will receive a guarantee to not be shipped to New York or D.C.
A new film in the popular James Bond franchise has reportedly been ruined by the casting of a female in the role of Agent 007 because she keeps stopping and asking for directions in the middle of car chases.
In addition to disruptive chase sequences, the female Bond will be unable to use cue gadgets and will become emotionally attached to everyone she sleeps with, causing her to hand over state secrets and act surprised when they betray her, just like Daniel Craig's James Bond did.
Amazon, which now co-owns the Bond franchise, said in a statement, quote, We have every right to take this series and make it completely unrecognizable to longtime fans.
Besides, if you hate it, that just means you hate women.
Producers say Amazon's quotas require the new film to also feature a female villain, a handicapped female Q, and a trans M. Despite not being expected for release until November, the new Bond film is already being nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars for caste diversity.
Orthodox fans celebrated Star Wars Day this week on May 11th.
They view the more popular May the 4th as a valid holiday on a heretical day.
Orthodox Star Wars Day is celebrated similarly to its May the 4th twin, but all the decorations have May the 11th Be With You printed on them.
Orthodox fans also do not recognize the prequel or sequel trilogies and consider the Expanded Universe, collection of novels under the Legends brand, as part of the Star Wars canon.
As one Orthodox fan explained, it's quite simple.
Typical Star Wars fans are on your Gregorian calendar, instituted by the Catholic Church.
We are on the Galactic Standard Calendar, the actual calendar of the Star Wars galaxy.
So the holiday occasionally lags behind the schismatic fans.
So you see, our timeline is correct.
May the 11th be with you.
When reached for comment, Lucasfilm head Kathleen Kennedy said even if Orthodox fans had a valid claim, it doesn't matter because she is Star Wars.
To accommodate people who prefer sprinkling donuts with coffee instead of fully immersing their donuts in coffee, Dunkin' Donuts has announced plans to open new donut shops and communities with a large number of practicing Presbyterians.
At publishing time, the executive team at Sprinkland Donuts had called an emergency meeting to re-evaluate the entire plan after being informed that the Greek word baptizo literally means to immerse.
Now you're up to date on the only news that matters.
Find more fake news you can trust at BabylonBee.com.
Until next time, this is Austin Robertson, the voice of the Babylon Bee.
So long.
Wow, Austin, what a great B-Radio.
And now, you guys have noticed Adam Jenser is not on the podcast right now, but we are going to bring him in for weekly news.
Here we go.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
Record low water levels in Nevada's Lake Mead have been exposing the remains of murder victims that were missing for years.
We have to fix this drought crisis now, demanded Hillary Clinton.
She kills people.
Because she kills people.
She kills people.
Pro-abortion activists have been protesting outside the private homes of conservative Supreme Court justices, including John Roberts' home in Maryland and Bratt Kavanaugh's home, the Delta Kappa Epsilon Frat House.
Because he drinks a lot of beer.
Kid parties.
Jill Biden made an unannounced trip to Kiev this week to meet with the First Lady of Ukraine.
Ukraine's First Lady begged Joe Biden to provide resources for refugees and to please get Bono to leave.
Because he's always there.
That's a really good joke, MJ.
Thank you.
Wrote it myself.
I mean, Adam.
I'm Adam.
Rich Strike, the horse with the longest odds at the Kentucky Derby, came in first place, winning $1.8 million.
So now his owner can afford gas and doesn't have to ride a horse anymore.
Fred Savage was fired from the reboot of the Wonder Years due to accusations of on-set misconduct.
When he was called into human resources to discuss the accusation, Savage responded, Ew, gross.
Do we have to read the kissing parts?
Do you get that, Joe?
I don't.
Interesting.
You're a little too young.
Yeah.
He was a kid.
But I did write the joke, so.
As part of its effort to contact aliens, NASA wants to send nude pictures into space.
They hope somewhere, some advanced civilization, will see the naked pictures and finally help us define what a woman is.
Actor and PETA activist James Cromwell glued his hand to Starbucks counter to protest the high prices of vegan milk.
Cromwell was horrified to learn the glue he used was made from horses that lost to Rich Strike.
Apple announced that it is discontinuing the iPod Touch, its last remaining iPod model.
The only thing sadder than still owning an iPod Touch would be still owning a Zoom.
Okay, I do own a Zoom, and that's not funny.
What is a Zoom?
A Zoom?
Yeah, I use it.
It's an MP3 player.
What's an MP3?
Oh, man.
All right.
Celebrity chef Mario Batali was acquitted on charges that he groped a woman at his Boston restaurant.
And he didn't even have to use the Andrew Cuomo.
I'm Italian.
How could I not grope defense?
Gotta use that.
I'm Italian.
I'm Italian.
How could I not?
I must grope.
It is my faithful.
I was thinking more than New York Italian.
Okay.
Mario from Mario Brothers.
I gotta go Mario Brother.
Okay, I feel you.
That's it for the weekly news.
If you miss Adam and you didn't think I delivered these jokes well, you can go see him live this weekend at the Looney Bin in Oklahoma City.
As a Christian, you know that God is always there for you, but sometimes things in this life can get overwhelming.
It's a crazy time, especially with the pandemic and all that stuff.
It's important to speak to a counselor, but you definitely want to talk to one who shares your faith and values.
Online counseling from Faithful Counseling is there for you.
You have Christian counselors who share your faith, who can deal with crisis of faith issues, and just deal with normal stuff that every human deals with, like depression, stress, anxiety, relationships, all that kind of stuff.
You can get help on your own time and at your own pace.
You can schedule a secure video chat with a counselor.
Everything you share is confidential.
They have 3,000 U.S. licensed therapists across all 50 states.
It's secure, convenient, professional, and affordable.
Listeners get 10% off your first month at faithfulcounseling.com/slash Babylon B. Don't wait another minute.
You can get started today.
Go to faithfulcounseling.com/slash Babylon B. You're going to fill out a questionnaire and it'll help them assess your needs and get you matched with a counselor who shares your faith and a counselor that you'll love.
That's faithfulcounseling.com/slash Babylon B.
So we're going to talk to Siaka now, who's running for California District 43, like we were talking about.
California's violent crime is up by 86%.
Homicides up 46%.
Homelessness is up by 20%.
And that's because we're not spending enough on those issues.
Am I right?
Duh.
See?
Duh.
This is why I'm good at this.
There you go.
We've got the highest gas prices and the highest taxes.
And you had some crazy stories, like your home was raided by the FBI.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Why was that?
What did you do?
What did I do?
I thought nothing, but apparently they thought by just going to D.C. on January 6th, anyone who was there.
So you were at the?
I was at the new 9-11, as they like to call it, where we had a bunch of old ladies and kids and parents and uncles and dads singing a national anthem for the most part.
Did you do any face paint?
No, no.
Buffalo.
I kept it.
I had a Trump hat, which the FBI has took a picture.
Did you like an animal hat?
No, no, I went normal.
I went normal like most of us and had like the skull cap, the little scarf.
If you could take an animal hat, what animal hat would you pick?
What would I have picked for that one?
Honestly, probably a lion.
Okay, so Lion Man.
Like the cat.
Do you own any Lego models of the Capitol building?
Not anymore.
No.
No.
They took an FBI.
They came.
Yeah, they came into the house.
Have not been, like I always have, haven't been charged with anything.
This happened June 10th of last year.
Okay.
Haven't been charged with anything.
They still have my stuff.
I even posted the day of all the footage that I took on Instagram, which got down.
I got took down, especially, as well as that account that got took down.
But yeah, I'm currently, they came in there.
They took my computers, my laptop, or my computers, or my laptop, sorry.
My phones, some USB drives, which has a bunch of, which I think is kind of funny because I have a bunch of old acting photos where all my different bad headshots from like the 17 years I've been out here.
And they still have that stuff.
They actually took two of my MAGA hats.
And I said, why are you taking that?
And they're like, oh, because that's what we saw you wearing on the video.
I'm like, you mean like most people there?
Like, I don't.
Anyway.
So yeah.
Two of your MAGA hats.
How many MAGA hats do you own?
Well, I only own those two.
Oh, okay.
He said, two of like you had a message.
Oh, yeah.
Two of 28.
No, I had a, well, because one of them I got at the first rally I ever went, Trump rally went to in August of 2020.
And that was like, I was like, okay, I'll finally put one on.
I hadn't put one on at all the whole time.
So I was like, okay, let's do it.
And the other one I got the first time I went to DC for the Blexit Back to Blue event that happened, I want to say that was probably October or September, right after Trump was sick.
So I want to say it was September or something like that.
I remembered that day well.
Yeah.
The dark day.
The dark day.
When Trump was sick.
When he was sick.
And then we had, and I'm currently right now doing a class action against the FBI and the agents that came into my home illegally.
Based in red pill.
Based in red pill.
You know, if you got to do something, you got to do something because we've watched them just push people around.
So I have to ask, did they knock?
Or was this a no-knock?
No, they knocked.
They banged on the door.
So it wasn't like a KGB game.
No.
But it was close enough when you look at how the country's supposed to work.
That's polite of them to knock.
They banged on the door.
And my best friend was, he was staying in the front room with my godsons, five and seven at the time.
So he sees that and he goes out and they're all ready, locked and loaded with ARs.
And he opens the door with his hands out.
They grab him, put him against the wall.
His sons can look out the window and see this.
And where my room is is located in the back of the house.
So I kind of, I kind of more come out of it, right?
I'm like sleeping and I hear FBI, FBI.
And I'm like, like, what's going on?
And I'm still thinking and I'm like, you got to be kidding me.
And I open up the door.
I'm just like, you see that, that, that Call of Duty silhouette, right, of the flash and the gun.
They're like, hands in there.
All I can say was like, you know, don't shoot my dog.
Because Ginger was kind of like, what's going on?
And did they shoot your dog?
No, no.
I feel like that's the ATF that shoots a lot.
ATF shoots a lot of dogs.
It was the ATF.
No, it was just FBI.
And so they came, grabbed me.
And luckily, I decided to wear pants to go to sleep that night because they seriously, because they wouldn't let me.
Do you usually not?
Well, yeah.
I like to live free, you know?
Like, I take this freedom thing even in my sleep.
All the way.
Yeah.
So they nickcuffed me up and they took me outside.
I did nothing but sweatpants.
And I didn't see anyone else that I knew, except I saw one lady holding my five-year-old or my time four-year-old godson in her arm, you know, taking him in the car.
And it's like, what's going on?
You know, and I asked for the warrant.
They're like, well, we got to clear the house.
Then I'm like, I want to call my lawyer.
And they're like, wait, wait, one second.
And I started repeating those two, you know, requests over and over.
And by the time they clear the house, and they're like, let's get them a copy of the warrant.
And they come out with a sheet of paper.
A sheet of paper that just had like basically the top of whatever this warrant was or whatever it said, which that's illegal in itself.
You have to see what they're in there for.
Yeah.
Which they didn't have.
They had one piece of paper.
They have to have a specific thing they were looking for and all that.
So they just sat there and had this.
They had a piece of paper.
I'm like, and I'm looking at it.
I'm looking at all my stuff sitting on my dining room table.
And I'm like, what's going like what?
The dimey, you know.
They had a scrap of paper that said warrant and cranny.
I mean, honestly, it might as well have said it, you know, and I'm like, this is crazy.
Why are you taking this?
Why are you taking that?
They went into the garage and pulled out the skull caps, the Trump skull caps and scarves and took pictures of it.
I'm sure you didn't have any warning.
You could have destroyed your Lego set and laid them out so they would be stepping on all the Lego.
I would have home the loan them.
Yeah, I would have had the cans of paint ready to come right in the front.
And I have a pretty strong door because when they took me outside, I saw their battering ram thing and I was kind of like, huh, I want to, I asked them, I was like, did you guys try that to the door?
They're like, nah, we knocked first because I wanted to see.
See, they're pretty polite.
Yeah.
I'm like, he's like, this is not an arrest.
You know, the guy wanted, they wanted to arrest you, but I'm like, no, let's not arrest you.
It's not an arrest.
We just have a battering ram.
Yeah, battering ram and 12 or 14 agents with ARs pointed at you and around your around your property.
And this was like months after.
Yeah, this is June, June 10th.
And it's like, you hadn't done anything in that period.
So it seemed like there was some escalated threat.
They were just going around.
Like I was continuing to.
And when the LA Times and the Daily Mail got it and they're like, actor, conservative actor, raided by FBI, because that's what it was for.
It was to sully the name so that people, what I've heard from friends in the industry, like they say, well, you know, they want to work with you, but they're afraid of the FBI, blah, So that's what it was truly for more than anything else, right?
Because I didn't do anything.
There's nothing done than just walking around recording what I saw and trying to report on it like everyone else.
And, you know, they just had like in the papers when you go past the art, the headline of actor rated, all it said in there was like, he's best known for, you know, his speeches at Trump rallies and telling people to run for local office.
That's what you're best known for?
That's what I'm best known for.
Outside of like the acting, they're saying, so like, I'm so dangerous that all I'm telling people to do is run for local office.
At least they say like, I didn't even say fight back.
It's literally violence.
Do you feel attacked?
I feel so attacked right now.
It was wild to read these articles and then you start reading like some of the lies that had financial lies.
Like the first article said I had like multiple, like I had like $2 million.
Then the second one said it kept going up, said I had like six.
And then the last one said I had 14.
And all of them saying that I made that money doing one scene on a show years ago and the residuals build it up for it.
I'm like, $14 million.
Flowerbud.
I got to talk to my agent because you got way more than that.
Yeah.
No, yeah, right.
You know, I'm like, then SAG's been taking a lot, but it's just the lies that just came and dropped out out of that.
It was just, it was wild.
So people, if people want to vote for you, they can check you out.
Siaka4assembly.com.
Let me just kind of finish up by asking, like, why the heck are you still in California?
And, you know, I know there's a lot of people that are moving out of state and they're like, we're going to get out of this place.
What can conservatives do to fight back?
What's the case for staying here and fighting?
Well, the case is the fact that it's most people's homes, right?
They've been here for decades and generations.
It's the most beautiful state in the union.
And this whole country, what they established, how this country is established, is that we have to stand and we have to protect our area.
We have to.
And right now, a lot of conservatives, we've been asleep at the wheel here in California and across the country.
So now you have to, like I said earlier, make sure people are registered to vote, get out there for this primary because it is a top two here in California.
We can't just sit back and it's not the top Republican and Democrat anymore.
It's top two vote getters.
And people are upset right now.
So if you're not doing your part, whether you're walking the streets for a candidate, you're donating money or you're registering people to vote, then we will lose this state.
But people are here still fighting for a reason because it's the most beautiful state in the Union.
If California goes, the rest of the country goes.
This is the fifth largest economy on the planet.
So we need to fight for this for not only for ourselves in California, but for the rest of the nation.
Evil doesn't stop.
They're not going to stop because like, all right, we got California.
Good luck with in Tennessee or in Texas or in Florida.
It's like, now we got California.
What can we get?
So it's really up to us.
You can run today, but you're going to be running again tomorrow.
I like it.
I wanted, can we get the American flag behind him while this eagles screeching?
Eagles screeching, right?
building music that's really what I need to do For the day, yeah.
Well, that's awesome.
Well, you can check out his campaign, Siaka4assembly.com.
And now we're going to talk to an actual wizard.
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That's publicsq.com.
MJ.
MJ is a woman.
Oh, no.
No, no, it's true.
But who knows?
That's not what that is anymore.
It says, I just, it says MJ is a wizard, a segment with the woman.
With the woman.
With the woman who was in our second most popular sketch of all time.
And my first sketch ever with the B and one that we wrote and filmed in an hour or two.
Like two hours.
Yeah, there you go.
It was the end of the day, and we're just like, yeah, let's just whip this out really quick.
That's where the magic's made.
That's where the magic's made.
Let's watch the sketch.
Here we go.
Twitter employee under ghost therapy over Elon Musk takeover.
Dr. Pollen, I'm your two o'clock.
Oh, hey, Mandy.
Have a seat.
What can I do for you?
It's terrible.
I can't even.
I have literally lost my ability to even.
Well, let's calm down.
What was it?
Some sort of tragic loss?
Death in the family?
No one misgendered you, did they?
No, it's even worse.
Elon Musk wants to buy our company.
All right, not another one.
All right, just tell me, what is it about Elon buying Twitter that actually bothers you?
And remember, this is a safe space.
There's no judgment here.
If he buys our free speech platform, people will be able to have free speech on our platform.
Well, that's just stupid.
All right, let's get to the bottom of this.
Let's go a little bit deeper.
What exactly bothers you about somebody having free speech on our free speech platform?
If we don't have the unilateral power to ban ideas we don't like, we'd actually have to discuss and defend our ideas based on their own merit.
And what's the problem with that?
It's just everyone who disagrees with me is a Nazi.
So it's imperative that I change their mind with force and violence.
Very interesting.
Let's try something else.
I'm going to hold up some shapes and I want you to tell me exactly what you see.
Nazis, Nazis, Nazis.
That one kind of looks like a lip.
Nazis, Nazis, Adolf Hitler, Nazis.
Oh, I know that one.
It's the Hindu symbol for peace, Namaste.
Nazis, Nazis, Donald Trump.
No, wait, it's still Nazis.
Fascinating.
Now, I'm going to ask you a question.
I want you to answer honestly.
Is Elon in the room with us right now?
Yes, I see him at work.
I see him at Whole Foods.
I see him when I get into my Tesla.
Whatever.
Next.
Hey, Doc.
Why do you have these pictures of my mom?
Oh, MJ.
Who's that girl?
So funny.
Although Dan really stole the show.
absolutely that last line was it's killer that's Yeah, you got to put a button on it.
All right, so we have, so you are Gen Z, right?
You're squarely in Gen Z.
I am like the first year of Gen Z.
So you're older, an older Gen Z.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I went to Google and I typed in why does Gen Z and I let it auto fill all three.
All right.
So Siaka will take turns.
You have the notes.
Yeah, me and Siaka will take turns asking you questions about Gen Z.
So number one, why does Gen Z suck?
Go.
TikTok.
TikTok is the reason.
Fair enough.
It does brainwash them.
It's true.
Why does Gen Z not want to work?
The Gen Z answer is that we are tired of this capitalist system.
We live to work and then we die.
And I don't know.
My answer is because making internet money is really easy nowadays.
So why would anyone want to ever be in an office 40 hours a week?
That sounds more like the Gen Z answer than that's perfect.
Why does Gen Z have so much anxiety?
Probably also TikTok.
I mean, they grew up with the answer to all this.
They grew up with Instagram since they were like 10.
That's so bad for your mental health.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I would have so much anxiety if I had Instagram when I was like 10 and 11.
Trying to look cool.
Yeah, it's just like so bad for your self-confidence and body image.
I think little girls, especially, but that's very true.
And I think it's also kind of trendy to have anxiety right now, but I digress.
Mental health.
All right.
Well, we'll get to that in a second.
We got another question about that.
Oh, all right.
Come on.
Why does Gen Z hate skinny jeans?
See, I'm like on, I always liked skinny jeans because I was old enough to like wear them, but now they like mom jeans.
And I do not think they're flattering on anybody.
Like some of them are okay, but I don't know.
I'm going to keep wearing my skinny jeans till I die.
So why does Gen Z look old?
I think we have like 16 year olds trying to contour their face like a Kardashian and it's really just aging them, you know?
I don't know.
Got it, got it.
Why does Gen Z look weird?
I don't know.
Let's ask the audience.
Yeah.
Why does Gen Z love Shrek?
I love Shrek.
So why is she so?
Like, I was actually.
So I only recognize Shrek 1 and Shrek 2 as Canon.
Anything after Shrek 2 is not Canon.
But Shrek 2 has a flowerbed soundtrack.
Why does Gen Z cuff so much?
Yeah, yeah, right.
I say that word because it reminds me of the Sandlot.
I loved the Sandlot growing up, and they're always like, Bubblegum.
I'm like, yeah.
Is that really a curse word?
We wouldn't say it on our podcast, but yeah, I don't.
It's not the same as the other way that you would use that word.
Shrek is love, though.
Shrek is love.
Gen Z, you get it.
Why does Gen Z fake disorders?
Fake disorders?
I don't know.
I mean, I think mental health is like obviously very real and very important, but I haven't hardly met anyone nowadays that are like, oh, I have depression and anxiety.
I'm like, is that diagnosed or are we just, they like to self-diagnose.
And I think if you don't have something wrong with you, it's like, hmm.
So what's what?
What antidepressant are you on?
It's like, okay.
Shrek is my antidepressant.
Yeah, all you need to do is watch Shrek 2.
Sure.
But not Shrek 3.
That's not Canon.
That's not Canon.
Why does Gen Z not use capital letters, Morgan?
I'm such a hater.
So in that Twitter video.
I'm not a hater.
This came up on Google.
Really?
Yes, I didn't make these up.
I thought you totally made that up.
I don't use it for because I think it looks aesthetic and cute.
And that's a weird answer, but I'm going to tell you guys a story about MJ.
Hold on.
I gave her a video to post to Twitter, and I gave her the title.
Copy this and paste it into Twitter and tweet it out.
She went through and uncapitalized every letter of the title and took out the punctuation and then tweeted.
I'm like, you put in so much effort to look like you're not putting in effort.
Aesthetic.
For the aesthetic.
Oh, my goodness.
I can't have like my feed with like no capitals and then suddenly like boom, boom, boom, capital letter and like proper punctuation.
It'll throw people off.
They'll know I didn't write it.
They'll know how to read it finally.
That's true.
That's true.
Fair enough.
Wow.
I did not know that.
Thank you for asking that.
The only word that they capitalize is Shrek.
Only one and two.
Only can and Shrek.
They spell it without the vowels out of respect.
Exactly.
S-H-R-K.
All right.
You guys are crazy.
All right.
Why is Travis?
I appreciate it.
Why does Gen Z not like side parts?
I have a side part.
They like the middle part and they say everyone looks better with a middle part, but I tried it and I looked like a young lad who likes berries and cream almost.
I'm like, this looks awful.
I kind of look like Lord Farnquad or something.
Do any of the women here have a middle part right now?
Anybody got middle parts over the Gen Zers?
I don't think there's any women younger than me, but.
She's like, do not put this on me.
I do not have a middle part.
No, I tried it.
It looked real bad.
All right.
Why does Gen Z not drink?
I know why I don't drink.
Fact check false.
I don't know why they don't drink, I guess.
Do they drink less than millennials?
Probably.
I mean, I guess weed is more legal in other states.
So if I had to guess, we just have more options.
And a lot of people don't like drinking.
Like, I don't really care for drinking because it just makes you feel awful the next day.
I was going to say they're all popping pills.
Pills instead.
It's pill popping, baby.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
No, we have diverse options.
See?
Yeah.
She's like, oh, yeah, I forgot about the pills.
She's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
That's true.
Oh, yeah.
She's like, I don't know why we don't drink pills.
That's it.
That's funny.
All right.
Why does Gen Z not like the laughing emoji?
Like the normal crying laughing?
Yeah.
Well, we like the skull emoji.
And I always have Kyle.
Yeah.
It's like dead, you know?
Like it's so funny.
I'm so dead really.
It's so funny.
It killed me.
It literally melted the flesh off my face.
I'm just a skull.
And when boomers got a hold of the laughing emoji, you know, whenever the older generations like catch on instead of doing like, you know, big LOL or whatever, then it's like, well, we got to find a new thing.
So Kyle started using the skull emoji.
So now I got to figure out what's the next emoji for me to use.
So he's your litmus test.
Yeah, I can't be using the same emojis as Kyle.
Basically, once he gets it and gets comfortable with it, you're starting to plan the momentum.
I'm going to think we're the same age.
As soon as I found something, it's out.
This is what I'm hearing.
He's like, did you guys hear of iPods?
Have you guys heard of those things?
They're amazing.
They're out.
This is the first time I've ever learned of a Zoom.
I feel like you would like Zoom.
They're so hipster, but whatever.
Why does Gen Z love the 90s?
There we go.
The 90s is like, I guess R80s, if you think about it.
I don't want to think about them.
I don't know.
They're like R80s.
It's strange because it's like some of the same fashion trends now.
So maybe that's where that is.
That's just coming back.
Mom jeans and all that comes in.
I don't know.
You know, we lived through the 90s to make the mistakes, so you guys wouldn't make those mistakes.
I feel like the 90s.
And then you guys are bringing back all the mistakes.
Like we had enough technology that you're not dying of random stuff.
You know, it's like we're medically advanced enough, but it's before everyone started getting offended about things and everyone got weird.
It just seemed like it was a happy period.
You weren't on your phone all the time because they didn't exist like that.
Yeah, nobody's like bothering you 20 years ago.
I do think there was the perfect mix of we got the internet, but we got it late enough in our development that we didn't need it to rely on it.
It was just like, oh, I'll go check my email.
That was a cool thing, but we didn't have it with us all.
You're like, I'm going to get on my bike and go to Josh's house and then just hang out all day with your friends outside.
Would love to get on like AIM.
Well, I guess that was early 2000s and go home and talk to my friends instead of being like, you have to be available.
People think you're available 24-7 all the time.
Like, just because you have the ability to contact me 24-7 does not mean I'm available.
So don't.
Tough.
All right.
We got one more question.
Last one.
All right.
Why does Gen Z say sheesh?
First of all, that's not how you say it.
It's more like sheesh.
And then you got to do this arm thing and you got to be like, sheesh.
Can you demonstrate for us?
I just want to make sure you got it.
So wait, can we do that again and then and then just cut to Siaga's reaction and play the curb your enthusiasm.
Who is this woman?
What is what is going on?
Wait, okay.
You want me to do it again?
No.
Okay, wait.
So give me the tone again.
I want to know the tone.
Sheesh.
Sheesh.
Yeah.
Now, what does this mean?
Oh, okay.
So.
You ready?
Yeah.
Sheesh.
Is that how the kids do it nowadays?
She's got a lot of kids.
Kyle, got it.
Oh, man.
You've been hanging out with the Gen Zers a lot.
Wait, let's all do it at the same time.
She backed away from the mic.
Three.
She's a good one.
That was really good.
That was really good.
All right.
Make that a gift.
Man, I'd never want to do that again.
All right.
Now that we thoroughly hate ourselves, we got a few questions from MJ from her Twitter followers.
Dogs or cats?
From Natalie.
Hi, Natalie.
Do you get any pushback for having a bad word in your Twitter header?
This is from Vintage Mom.
So my Twitter header is a screen grab of what is it called?
Tiger King.
That libertarian guy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, I'm a libertarian, so technically the feds.
And I'm like, by the way, just by saying Tiger King, you don't have to then follow up with the libertarian guy.
Okay.
Tiger King.
Yeah.
Everyone who knows the crazy thing.
Which Tiger King?
The Libertarian.
Libertarian.
Well, there was that Libertarian.
It wasn't like the Tiger King.
There was like a Libertarian campaign manager or something.
No, no, no.
There's the Tiger King.
You got it, though.
That's funny.
That's true.
But I've had like two people comment on it, but it's so based and funny that I say, mind your business and don't look at it if you're mad.
There you go.
We need you to report to HR.
Is there an HR here?
Yeah, it's in the kitchen.
I'm HR.
I am the HR.
I am HR.
You want to take this one, Siaka?
All right, yeah.
What's the first thing you're going to do when you get back in Babylon Bee Twitter account?
Yeah.
Honestly, it's going to be Seth or Kyle that probably does the first thing.
So the first thing I'm going to do is my job.
That's what we tell you.
It's my job.
Except she'll uncapitalize everything.
Uncapitalize.
I'm going to rebrand new aesthetic for the B.
It's uncapitalized.
Oh my god.
So if you guys can't understand it, she's back.
Okay.
How did you start working for the Babylon Bee?
This is from Matt Montgomery.
Well, I met Seth through Twitter, actually, and the pandemic started.
And he's just kind of like, would you like a job here?
And I'm like, yeah, I edit some videos.
So it worked out because I just got laid off from my student job on campus because school shut down.
So yeah, I worked part-time here for like almost a full year and then I came on full-time and been loving it ever since.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
They say ask him.
What does that mean?
Okay.
Ask him.
Ask him what they think about aliens.
First time I'll be listening to Babylon Bee's podcast too.
Two.
Oh, welcome, Luke.
We're so happy to have you.
I'm a big alien believer.
I love alien documentaries.
I've seen probably like all of them on Netflix and Amazon.
I'm an alien truther.
I don't know how these guys feel about it, but I'm going to speak for the Babylon Bee and say we officially endorse aliens as well.
This person actually capitalized aliens.
So are they talking about the James Cameron movie?
I haven't seen that.
That's very sad.
It's better than Shrek.
I don't know.
I'll definitely watch it, but honestly.
So we now have two questions that are similar.
These are from Gavin Doolittle and John Douglas Nelson, basically asking, well, they're not quite the same question.
John Douglas Nelson says, how can you be a libertarian and a Christian?
I feel a little heated.
Gavin Doolittle, you don't have to answer any of this.
Gavin Doolittle says, with the Babylon B being conservative, how does that mix with your personal libertarian and cat politics?
I don't know.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that's a good idea.
Yeah, I don't think the B is like as hardcore like Trump and like Republican as people think.
I know some of our jokes maybe come across that way, but everyone here is like super chill.
You know, they're very open to kind of differing ideas.
Unless it's Calvinism, then, you know, get out.
Wait, so I have a question then.
What about libertarian being a libertarian is anti-Christian or I think most people honestly are going to be like, well, libertarians are pro-choice, but I mean, libertarians are honestly pretty 50-50, pro-life, pro-choice.
I thought libertarians is like, you do what you want, leave me alone.
Yeah, that's basically that.
But if they believe in protecting personal liberties, it depends if you believe that that's a human or not.
So if you do think it's a human, then you say, yeah, rights needs to be protected.
I just think we can spread, you know, Christianity and be good to people without needing the state to force that on everybody else.
Well, because I just have no qualms with it.
They painted it as that libertarians all don't kind of have that.
Yeah, it's definitely a loaded question.
That's for sure.
All right, we cut that in post, right?
We just don't do that.
No, let's let John Nelson know that I have no qualms with libertarianism meshing with Christianity.
There you go.
Do you end the Fed or the war on drugs first?
That's a great question.
Let's see if you can get it.
I feel like the Fed, because then the war on drugs won't be funded.
There you go.
So, yeah.
Yeah, if we end the Fed, the dominoes just fall.
Will Long says, what is better, Bitcoin or guns?
Well, I haven't looked at the price of Bitcoin today.
Would you like me to tell you?
I'm very happy about that.
But I will tell you, the value of my ammo has not gone down.
So ask me again in a year, but right now I'm honestly going to go with guns.
How much ammo do you have and where specifically is it stored?
My dad would absolutely murder me if I ever did it.
If someone sent you one Bitcoin today, what would you do with it?
This is from Vlad Kostia.
Well, depending on the price of Bitcoin, I'd probably be able to get like a dollar menu on the McDonald's or something.
I guess the answer people want to hear is I would hold.
I would hold all my one Bitcoin.
It's like hold, but holdal.
Because someone misspelled it in like 2013.
And they hold on to it.
Stunks.
All words are made up.
Yeah.
Nothing really exists.
Yeah.
Except for God.
True.
There we go.
We went in there.
I like that.
You could feel it.
You could feel it in their ultimate Jesus.
Everything said, take the air out.
I've been got.
All right.
All right.
Well, let's move on to hate mail.
Hey, Babylon B listeners.
Kyle here asking you to be a flag bearer for freedom.
Right now, ADF is looking for flag bearers to help lead the fight against the Biden administration's policies and the anti-freedom attacks targeting our kids, churches, schools, women's sports, and First Amendment rights.
Your monthly gift to Alliance Defending Freedom helps protect parents and children, female athletes, churches, and everyday Americans trying to freely live out their faith.
Please support ADF today by going to adflegal.org slash B. That's adflegal.org slash BEE.
And thanks for your continued support of ADF, you will receive a three by five foot American flag.
With this flag, show your support for the greatest country of all time and your willingness to step up when our freedoms are under attack.
Claim your gift and help defend religious liberty and free speech today by going to adflegal.org slash be.
That's adflegal.org slash b e.
I really miss Adam Ford.
This is from Dink13.
LOL, I thought the always tattoo that Kyle has was just part of the parody he did about the Twitter jail.
Now we know he is a potterhead.
Yep, it's real.
For some reason, I have secondhand embarrassment for him.
LOL.
So funny.
Is that hate or kind of like a backhanded catch?
It's playful.
It's playful.
I like that.
And now here's one.
We had a joke.
Abortionists worried he may have to become one of those doctors that helps people.
And here is a comment from someone named Johannes.
As a medical student, it hurts to say, but the Hippocratic Oath is a symbol that descended from the time when morality was discussed by educated philosophers and not by a bunch of undereducated Jesus worshipers with sunburned necks.
When a woman doesn't want her fetus to eventually be born and grow up as a child, it is her decision.
And me and many other future doctors don't dare to tell her otherwise.
Gladly.
Well, sad that you support baby murder.
Let's go into the subscriber pod subscriber lounge now.
The subscriber lounge is a very fancy place and it looks awesome.
And you can only get access if you're a Babylon B subscriber.
We're going to do some bonus hate mail there, a classic story.
And subscriber headlines of the week.
And we have 10 questions.
We have 20 questions.
10 questions for both Tiaka and MJ.
So here we go.
Let's dive into the wonderful, exclusive, luxurious subscriber lounge.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
That is why I chose to unsubscribe.
It's really polite to put regards.
You know, they were saying, well, we have to spend more in order to curb inflation.
I love that TikTok.
I know that TikTok.
Isn't that sad?
Oh, no.
Now I can't like that TikTok.
Yep.
JBP.
That's what Jen's ears are calling George Peterson now.
At least she didn't add Shrek.
This concludes this week's edition of Steve Irwin Facts.
This has been another edition of the Be Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that fake news of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Actor-impeded activist Apple announced that it is discontinuing the iPod Touch, its last remaining iPod model.