Duck Killin' And Gospel Preachin': The Phil Robertson Interview
Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle go on a roller coaster ride of an interview with outspoken Christian and duck hunter Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame. He was quarantining before it was cool and he gives life lessons and gospel witness in this whirlwind episode. They discuss free toilet paper you find in the woods, what the apostle Paul says about killing millions of ducks, and how sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll don't satisfy. You can watch Phil's new show In The Woods With Phil on Blaze TV. Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak! Topics Discussed Having a camera crew living with your family Being explicitly Christian in a public sphere Living off in the woods all by yourself- quarantining before it was cool Free toilet paper in the woods Coming to Jesus and living by the good book Phil's mouth is Noah's ark filled with two of every animal Why we kill ducks and not geese Putting down the pudding and picking up popcorn This episode is available to watch in full for everyone as a celebration of the launch of our video podcasts. Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
So my father watched the show religiously called Duck Dynasty.
And we have gotten in contact with the patriarch of that family, Phil Robertson.
So, hi, Phil.
Thanks for joining us.
Hey, no problem.
Boys, y'all have entered a zone, and the zone you've entered is the art and science of doing nothing.
I like that.
That's where we are, boys.
Check this out.
We got a text that God talking through the Apostle Paul, make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.
Now, this is pandemic or no pandemic.
Make it your ambition to live a quiet life.
That's me.
To mind your own business.
That's me.
To work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life will win the respect of outsiders.
Check this out.
So that you will not be dependent on anybody.
Well, I implemented that about 40 years ago, and I've seen floods come, droughts come, fires burning up the country.
I've seen pandemics, you know, pestilence, plagues, and I've watched this whole thing unfold on what happens when you live on planet Earth.
So all I'm telling y'all is, is I kind of withdrew.
You know, they got this episode we do, this TV show in the woods with Phil.
I just think it's safer.
And this morning we got up and I went over and ran a hoop net.
I had made the net.
I caught the fish in it.
I have fried catfish coming for supper.
You're like, so you're pretty well self-contained down there in the woods.
That is correct.
So how many animals do you eat while they're still alive?
I have a 22-rifle right close to me at all times.
These days, since we still have the eunuch, he works for me.
He's a eunuch.
He renounced marriage, which is pretty smart because the Bible says that people who marry will face many troubles in this life.
Are you boys married?
Yes, both of you.
Amen.
We can confirm that.
Well, here's what it says.
That's at 1 Corinthians, you know.
It says they will face many troubles in this life.
And he said, I want to spare you this.
So I told the eunuch, I said, one thing for sure, Dan, I said, it's cheaper to stay single.
Hey, what does the Apostle Paul have to say about shooting millions of ducks?
Well, start with this.
Me being, I lean toward being somewhat of a redneck, but you've got to remember the governing authorities, the governing authorities has established a series of rules.
I mean a whole lot of rules that center around ducks, how many, what species they are, you know, this and that, another.
So what time you can actually shoot them, and it just goes on and on about the rules.
But still, we hunt every day of the duck season.
That's part of our livelihood.
We have fine cuisine, good meals, smoked sausage, and honey buns.
We've got burners, cookers in the duck line.
So if the power grid goes down and you're on top of a big pandemic in the United States or the world, trust me when I tell you, we're retreating to the woods.
We have cookers of all kinds.
We have all kinds of animals.
We can eat on squirrels, deer, rabbits, ducks.
So in the grand scheme of things, nothing has changed in this neck of the woods regarding the pandemic.
There is no pandemonium going on with the pandemic.
We're just kind of just, the kitchen is the hub.
We go in there.
Miss Kate fixes the big dinner every day.
The dogs are bored.
Miss Kay's bored, but I'm not.
Hey, what do you think about gun control?
Do you like it?
Do you like gun control?
Just think about it.
They take away your weapons.
You can't protect yourself, therefore, from rapists, robbers, killers.
You're just at their mercy.
A lot of rapists come together.
I never would have thought that in this day and age, when I am giving a lesson on Sunday morning pre-pandemic, Dan, shut that one down.
When I'm giving a Bible lesson pre-pandemic, I would give the lesson and not even worry about it.
Now, can y'all imagine being in a situation where I'm surrounded by armed men, schwat is in the parking lot, just for me to give a Bible lesson on Sunday morning?
It's scary.
So when you ask me about the gun laws, just think about it.
Yeah, well, we're in California, so we know all of that.
You know, if I'm not armed, it's kind of the order of the day because we've got such a violent culture that somebody will just walk in there, a 20-year-old with an AR-15, and start just shooting up women, children who were worshiping God Almighty.
So therefore, when I tell you that we are armed, you wouldn't believe it.
I mean, just to get in the door.
That's where we are in America.
And then we got a pandemic on top of that.
I don't know whether the pandemic is coming from God himself punishing the wicked.
He's done it before.
So it could be that.
It just could be unsanitary conditions.
Yeah.
So it could be a lot of things on why it's here, but it is here.
So we're just riding it out.
We're eating well.
We just drew back.
Just drew back.
I'm curious because you talk about eating like almost every animal that lives.
Like you're like Noah, your mouth is Noah's Ark.
But have you ever eaten bat?
Have you ever eaten bat?
I've never stooped so low as to eat a bat.
No bats.
Hey, you know what?
If you just look at a bat in the face, I don't think that's edible.
No.
Yeah, you can make bat calls.
Maybe there's a market for that.
Yeah, you back call, Commander.
I'll draw the line somewhere, boys.
Bats, they're out.
Dogs, I don't think so.
Cats, I don't eat cats.
I don't eat dogs, and I don't eat bats.
There's plenty of other stuff that's a lot better than them.
Okay.
Well, you sound like you're living like a pretty utopian life out there.
Can you take us hunting sometime?
Yeah, we'll work out something.
You do is, you got to remember, getting a hold of me is like getting a hold of Trump on a telephone.
I mean, I'm hard to reach, but you stay in contact with Dan because when you're you got Dan, you've got the computer world.
I've never owned a cell phone or turned on a computer in my life.
Amazingly, I'm on the internet and I've never actually clicked onto the internet.
That's weird, isn't it?
Yeah, you've got a really popular camera.
I said, Y'all get me on that blooming thing.
And I said, I'm going to give them good news and try to help them learn how to live a productive, God-fearing, loving your neighbor, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
I said, I'm just trying to say, come on, America.
I mean, what are we doing?
So, for every one of them that repents, like I did when I was 28 and turned to God, I tell you, this godly living boys is way better than what I used to be into.
Way better.
Sounds like it, for instance.
No doubt about it.
Yeah, like first thing y'all need to do is get out of California.
We will evacuate at some point.
We're going to be forced to.
It's just getting too crazy.
I'm seeing what goes on out there, and I'm thinking, man, California used to be a wonderful place, but I went through that duck hunting up through those valleys, and where were some of those towns?
Y'all wouldn't know them.
But I'd stop in these little towns, give them a speech with duck hunt.
California was some of the best duck hunting that I've ever seen.
I mean, there are a lot of ducks in California.
Yeah, yeah.
There's Donald.
I've always wanted to shoot the geese.
There's those geese around, and I would love to just shoot all of them.
Can you shoot geese or no?
Not much.
Most of the time, we just stick with ducks.
I'm trying to think of some of those little towns.
But anyway, we hunted in those valleys down in there right north of we were kind of running north up the state of California.
But we hunted some of the rice fields, and a lot of the guys had just flooded up, what's them trees they have out there?
They call them something.
But they just flood them up.
But I would say outstanding duck hunting.
And some good duck hunters, too, by the way, California.
Yeah.
So I really enjoyed that trip.
And we also got Hollywood, which is a really nice place.
I try to stay out of there.
You know, when the show, when that show went ballistic and made us all wealthy, but when they come along and it was amazing, the Duck Dynasty, you know, your dad, you said, so it was, it was actually just a functional family.
It was inside a functional family.
No profanity and all that stuff.
None of that ever happens around here.
So we all live just godly lives and we thank God for our food and we eat it.
And someone says, well, that's weird.
I mean, give me a break.
I mean, no, it's just living a life without all this opioids and drunkenness and immorality and perversion.
We just turned away from all that and said, come on.
I mean, there's a lot better life with God than it is without him.
That's for sure.
Yeah, well, that sounds problematic to me.
So you, you, you know, you sound like you like to be on your own out in the woods by yourself.
So why did you invite a camera crew to come follow your family around?
What was that experience like?
Well, I just was trying to help my fellow man and trying to get him to just love God, love your neighbor.
The two greatest commands in the Bible, this is two greatest commands, biggest, most serious command.
Love God and love your neighbor.
Guys, I just don't see the downside with that kind of mentality.
What about y'all?
I mean, give me a break.
It seems like a good way to roll to me.
You said, boy, if we all just practice loving God and loving our neighbor, look, you, me, everybody in California and everybody in Louisiana and all points in between, one of these days we're going to die.
We count time itself, time.
It is 2,020 years since God became flesh.
Jesus coming down in flesh, born of a woman, no sex, dies on a cross for the sins of the world.
I had many, takes all them away.
On top of that, guarantees you can be raised from the dead.
Now, I read that and I zoned in on that at 28 years old.
I was of the 60s generation.
Rock and roll, sex, drugs, rock and roll.
I read that at 28.
I said, wait a minute.
All my sins removed and I can be guaranteed to do what?
To be raised from the dead.
Since we're counting time by Jesus of Galilee, year one is when he showed up.
It's 2,020 years later.
I'm looking back at it.
I'm like, you know, he would have had to done something rather large for our calendars to be documented by him.
Therefore, I concluded, you know what?
I'm going down that road.
So I got on the Jesus road at 28.
And it's the only story I've ever read that gave me the possibility of living beyond the grave.
So I've been with him ever since.
And the longer I walk with him, the more I believe it.
That's where I am.
At 28, I mean, relatively old to convert.
What did it take for a guy that age to come to Christ?
Where were you at at the time?
Where was I at?
I was full of drunkenness, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
That's where I was at.
So I thought, hmm, well, I'm a mean man.
I mean, you ought to talk about no shoes for about the entire my 24th year, 25th year on the earth.
I got out where I didn't even wear shoes year-round.
Duck hunted, lived in the woods, going through.
You say, you didn't even take time to buy a pair of shoes.
No.
So that time in my life, I was a very violent man.
Lots of fights, lots of drunkenness, lots of immorality.
So I climbed out of the 60s movement, turned to God, and I'm far better off because of it.
Because one thing I now have that I didn't have before when I was into sex, drugs, and rock and roll, that is hope.
Hope, my boys, hope.
So once that came along, think about it.
Being raised from the dead, the Almighty says when you die, you, your soul and spirit, leave your body.
Your body's in the cemetery.
Your soul and spirit go to be with God.
He brings you back, your soul and your spirit, at the return.
That's all we're waiting on, the return.
And you receive a resurrected body that is fixed to live forever, an immortal body.
I've never read that anywhere but the Bible.
It convinced me.
I said, I'm going to give her a whirl.
What have I had to lose?
So here I am.
That was about 45 years ago, see?
So here I am, 45 years later, down here during the pandemic with no worries.
No worries.
You wouldn't even know that there was a pandemic if your family didn't know.
I wouldn't even know it.
Yeah.
What do you guys know it?
What do you guys use for toilet paper out there?
Well, overcup leaves, overcup oak has a broad leaf on it.
And we just go by a falling down overcup.
And look, it's as slick as you ever seen.
No problem.
So we use overcup leaves.
It's for free.
It's free of charge.
And we got a lot of overcup trees.
So that's my preference.
You never want to wipe your tail with vines growing on the overcup.
There'll be vines.
Pores and ivy, pores and oak.
Don't wipe your rub of those things, boys.
That would be some anal problems.
Using a vine, that's more like flossing than wiping, anyway.
It's kind of gross.
Yeah, you don't want to use the vines.
Use the leaves themselves.
Yeah, that makes sense.
So that's my tree of choice.
If I had to take a dump in the woods, I go to an overcup tree, wipe my tail, and rock on.
Nice, walk on.
I like it.
So I never run out of toilet paper.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You're very self-reliant.
You're just using the bounty of the earth that God has given you, like free toilet paper out in the woods.
That's all.
You want to wash your tail off, just squat out in a mud hole, wipe your tail off, and rock on.
No problem.
I've been doing it all my life.
I like that you just walk on.
You just move on.
He rocks on.
Oh, rock on.
You say walk on or rock on?
Rock on.
Rock on.
Just continue.
Rock on.
Old 60s language.
See?
You got the six string and slide on your knees.
Yeah.
Well, boys, that's about pretty well the scoop down here.
Life is short and full of trouble.
We're making the best of it.
We're not running like a man beating the air.
I've noticed, y'all have noticed this too, that America is scared to death.
Any way you want to slice it, they're afraid.
You got to remember, you say, Phil, do you owe anybody anything?
One dime.
No, sir.
I owe no man anything.
I'm debt-free.
I'm down here sitting on a little stash of cash.
You say, you're good to go.
Good to go.
So if you're thinking you're ever going to see a world where there's no more pandemics or fires or drought or pestilence or hurricanes or tornadoes, you're dreaming.
Life's going to be full of it.
They're going to be full of it.
They're going to come and then they'll pass.
They're going to come, some worse than others.
So what does a man do?
I walk with God, therefore I'm never alone.
You got it?
I got it.
Walk with God.
You're never alone.
I don't believe saltwater made us.
I just looked at saltwater and I'm looking at it.
I'm thinking, no, I do not think saltwater had the capability of making me and a mallard duck.
What department in saltwater put the color code on a duck?
Give me a break.
I don't think saltwater made us.
I think it has to be bigger than that.
Somebody said, well, I asked my college professors, by the way, boys, although I have redneck tendencies, I have a couple of degrees.
I have a master's degree.
I'm no dumbo.
I'm just a redneck who did well.
But you say, but you're not some hayseed.
I have a couple degrees.
I know I never use them.
I started out fishing the river, selling the fish, got the duck call going, it went ballistic, turned out to be a multi-millionaire, and I never got out of the woods, hobby.
So I'm just saying it will work.
By the way, here's the menu in the last month since we've been on the quarantine.
Beans and rice, beef tenderloin, hot water cornbread, zambala, fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, shrimp pie, shrimp at toufe, boiled crawfish, crawfish at touffe, crawfish pie, barbecue brisket, corn casserole, squash casserole, all sorts of all manner of fruit, nuts, leafy vegetables, lettuce, cabbage, bell peppers, hot peppers.
Sometimes, boys, you just learn how to eat your way out of a dilemma.
I like it.
So have you ever had avocado toast?
Oh, man, what are you talking about?
They got that new avocado dip that's really good.
I don't know what comes out of, but that avocado, we've eaten avocados every way you can eat them.
I love them.
What about are you a vegan?
You're not a vegan, aren't you?
Are you a vegan?
Are you a vegan?
Are you kidding?
Yeah.
Remember, under the law of Moses, you couldn't eat catfish or pork and a few other things.
But when Jesus died on the cross, was being raised from the dead, he got us out from under a law of works.
Got us out from under all food laws.
All gone.
You can eat anything that can't eat you.
You can eat anything that walks, crawls, flies, or swims without even any qualm.
Everything is legal to eat now.
We're not under any food laws.
That's the difference between, by the way, grace, that's what we're under, free of charge.
Jesus died for us, free, free gift, was resurrected, free gift.
You say, Christianity is free.
You don't have to pay anybody anything.
That's why down here, we don't look in terms of going to church.
You say, well, now you can't even meet with the brothers.
But we reach them and we give food to the homeless brothers.
We get food to them.
We make sure they're taken care of.
The rest of us, we just hunkered down, eating well.
We're offering our bodies as living sacrifices.
I'm still beaming out Jesus through people like you.
Today, without realizing it, people heard the gospel of Jesus, his death, burial, resurrection for us, free gift, a way to get off planet earth alive.
That's been covered today.
Your sins being removed.
That's been covered today.
So I'm getting out the message to people like y'all, Blaze TV.
We got a podcast.
Normally I'm talking to about 500,000.
So we don't have to go to a structure, church building on the side of the road to do what we do.
We just, it's being beamed out.
The message is still going.
So the term going to church is not even in the Bible.
Not even in the Bible, going to church.
We've got to go to church, go to church.
No.
You don't have to go anywhere.
Everywhere you are, you offer yourself as a living sacrifice.
Our bodies are the temple of God.
It's where God's spirit is.
We've been given a deposit, guaranteeing what's to come, including the resurrection of our bodies from the dead.
It's a wild story.
I think it's too wild for mankind to dream up.
Yeah.
Duck hunting with Jesus, Lawrence, and life is good.
Duck hunting with Jesus.
I like it.
Duck hunting with Jesus.
That's awesome.
So is there duck hunting in heaven, do you think?
You know, I hope it is.
I hope it is.
I think possibly it could be.
That's 2 Peter, the last part of 2 Peter.
You can read that.
This whole thing is going to end.
This whole first stage, planet, earth, everything on it.
Everybody's going to save the planet, save the planet.
You hear about them, right?
They're not going to be able to save it because God says, I'm going to destroy it.
Don't forget this one thing.
Listen to this.
I'm reading this.
With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.
But the Lord's not slow in keeping his promise.
He said, I'm going to be back.
He's not slow in keeping that.
And some think of slowness, but he's patient with us, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
The day of the Lord, listen, will come like a thief.
No one knows when a thief's coming.
Well, that Jesus is coming.
Nobody's going to know what day it is.
Don't let anybody give you any predictions.
The heavens will disappear with a roar.
That's scary.
The elements will be destroyed by fire.
That's scary.
And the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.
Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be?
You ought to live holy, ungodly lives.
Well, there I am.
You say any whore around profanity, drunkenness?
Nope, You need to live godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed it's coming.
That day will come about, and it'll bring about the destructions of the heavens by fire.
The elements will melt in the heat.
But in keeping with his promise, check this out.
I think here's where the ducks are.
We are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.
The first one got here somehow because we all are here, look up at night and look at it, and you say, good night, this thing is huge.
Every bit of that's going to be destroyed, and a new one is going to replace it according to what I just read that was written by the Apostle Peter 2,000 years ago.
You're like, wait a minute here.
He's just going to build another one.
Look, the atheists say, when I ask them, where did it all come from?
All this matter, I'm looking at.
And they said, well, it came from nothing.
I said, was there anybody there, any catalyst to get it going?
And they said, nope, there was nothing.
And I said, so what happened?
And what they say is nothing exploded and made what you and I in California are looking at.
The stars, the planets.
I'm like, that's asking too much of me.
How does nothing turn into a gigantic something?
I said, there's got to be some kind of power behind it.
That's where God comes in.
He said he's going to do away with this one, save us in the process, and we live on.
I think there'll be a new earth, and I think it'll be plenty of ducks for me, and plenty of whatever you boys in California would like to be doing.
Either way, it's immortal.
Immortality is yours.
Eternal life is what the Bible is all about.
So when you look at it that way, you say, you know what?
Maybe there's a chance.
It's like an old Ben Carrier Carrie, that movie, that old goofy acting boy, when he asked that woman in that movie, he said, what do you think my chances are?
Like one out of a thousand?
And she said, more like one out of a million.
And he grinned and he said, so you're saying there's a chance.
One out of a million.
Maybe I'll still get her.
Well, when you look at the cosmos, you say, you know what?
It might look like a long shot, but you say, you know what?
It would be something to behold.
What have I got to lose?
I'm 73 years old, boys.
The first run is about over for me.
The Bible says we give it about 70 years, and if we have enough strength, maybe 80.
That was written 3,500 years ago.
Was it correct?
What do you say?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Pretty close.
Pretty close.
You say, well, I don't know where.
I wonder if pandemics are mentioned in the Bible all the time all the way back through history.
Pandemics, pestilence, plagues.
And a lot of times God used them to punish the Israelites' enemies.
A lot of times he used them to punish his own people, but he's used it before.
Therefore, this could be just maybe a wake-up call for people to repent.
I already have.
If you boys haven't, hey, get a hold of Dan.
Put your faith in Jesus.
Come down here, and I'll baptize you boys in the river.
That's how you seal the deal.
I've baptized thousands in this river right there to flowing by my house.
I just caught the fish out of it this morning.
I baptized them by the thousands.
Put your faith in Jesus.
You confess Jesus is Lord.
You repent.
Everybody's a sinner.
And look.
And then you die and you're buried.
But it's in water.
And you're raised up.
God gives you a spirit.
That's your down payment on your resurrected body in the future.
Is that wild or what?
Yeah, well, we're cool.
We've done that.
We've repented and been baptized.
Well, you're already there, boys.
Well, we've got a lot of listeners, you know.
And if anybody hasn't, listen to what Phil's saying.
Hey, so, Phil, are you saying?
I'm just checking you boys out because you never know.
Yeah, no, that's good.
You can preach to everybody, right?
So are you saying that when Jesus comes, there's going to be severe global warming when Jesus returns?
Not global warming, global heating.
Heating.
Hotter than warmer.
Gotcha.
You want to see global warming.
Just wait till Jesus shows up and you fix to see something way beyond global warming.
This is global heating on a massive scale.
They will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire and the elements will melt in the heat.
By the way, read Hebrews chapter 1 and you say, Phil, are you sure it's going to leave here?
I'm already there with Hebrews chapter 1.
Check this out.
Watch.
In the beginning, it's about chapter 1, verse 10.
The Lord laid the foundations of the earth.
Well, the atheists say no.
Nothing laid the foundations of it.
This says the Lord laid the foundations of the earth and the heavens are the work of your hands, Lord.
Well, what do you know?
They will perish.
Uh-oh.
But you, God, remain.
They will wear out like a garment.
He's already telling us, we're not going to be able to save it, boys.
It's leaving here.
You will roll them up like a robe.
That's heaven and earth.
Like a garment, they will be changed.
Well, that's what Peter was talking about.
But you remain the same, and your years will never end.
Therefore, he begins to tell you, he opened that section up by saying, in the past, God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times in various ways.
But in these last days, that's where we are now, California, boys.
In these last days, he's spoken to us by his son.
There's Jesus, whom he appointed heir of all things, through whom he made the universe.
So you look at it and you say, you know what?
I don't have a chance for the ones in California who are saying, I'll take my chances without Jesus.
I'm like, you don't have a chance without him.
You're staring at your grave coming up, your physical death.
And there's only one I've ever read about that has it conquered.
Jesus, the Son of God, who lived for 33 years, died on a cross, three days later was raised from the dead.
It's the only chance we have, boys.
Therefore, I'm pretty happy.
I'm happy in pandemic or no pandemic.
I know I'm raising my voice some, but you know what?
When I talk about these matters, some people are appointed to do a lot of things.
Guess what?
The Almighty appointed me to proclaim.
I never get any further than what y'all have heard.
I just stay with the good news about Jesus.
Live a simple life.
Look, by all these rules, no rules.
Just love God.
Love your neighbor.
So you're saying that verse is saying that the heavens and the earth are like, it's like when you wear underwear for a long time until it gets holes in it, and then your wife has to throw it away.
Yep.
That's kind of what the heavens and the earth are like.
The scientists would want me to say, and it is true, it's simply the second law of thermodynamics.
Everything is losing some of its all things right now as we speak.
It's winding down.
That's why they know it had a beginning, the universe, because we know that every year the sun loses a little bit of its heat.
Everything is wearing out.
It'll be there for a while, but you say, it won't be there for eternity.
Nope.
This one will be gone.
God's going to replace it.
The home of righteousness, new heavens, new earth.
Pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
What else, boys?
Do you ever struggle with your faith?
You're very on fire.
Do you ever have a moment where you're like, where you're getting?
When I was younger, I did.
You got to remember, y'all are not in your 70s.
How old are you, boys?
I'm 33, and I'm 39.
Young bucks, wait till you get to be in your 70s, and a lot of things will begin to change.
But you begin to understand that things like sex, when you're younger, y'all are, I got to have it, got to have it.
Well, you get married, you can have all you want, and then you don't want as much.
It's like eating banana pudding.
If you ate it every night, as good as it is, about the fourth or fifth night, you'd say, hey, get off the pudding.
Let's get on something else.
That's kind of the way sex is.
But when you're 30, you got to have it, got to have it, got to have it.
And you get in your 70s.
You say, okay, what about just, what are we going to have?
Popcorn or sex tonight?
And you and your woman say, let's just go with a popcorn.
Fine.
I'm just telling you, some young bucks, some things you can depend on.
Yeah, we are sponges for your wisdom.
Especially we're both fathers.
Yeah, Kyle has three.
I got four.
So we got kids to raise.
I noticed when you guys were doing your show, you didn't have a lot of toddlers around, did you?
Your kids are mostly grown up.
But would you have daughters?
All of them now have their own families.
The good news is they all have the same woman they were married to.
So there's been no divorces with the Robertson clan.
Everybody's happy.
I've got kids.
You don't like me and Miss Kay, we were real young teenagers, you know.
Remember, the 60s.
So we were real young when we started having kids, and that's not legal.
So you say, boy, you start out shacking up.
That's the way it was.
Well, then you eventually get married.
But you do start young, teenage years.
What I didn't realize is if you do that, the positive part of it is you can spend a lot longer time with your children.
And in my case, my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren.
And I'm just now hitting 73.
So if I live to be 85, I'll be seeing my great-great-grandchildren.
You understand what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Now, if you wait till you're 35 or 40 before you're married, you'll probably be gone even before your grandchildren know they had a grandfather.
I never met any of my grandfathers, never saw them.
Because, you know, my parents, they were like in, you know, 35 or 40 before I was born.
So there you go.
So marry them early, boys.
I don't know what you better check with their mother before you marry one of them.
But you marry them early and you'll be with your children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren a lot longer than you would have been otherwise.
Just a thought.
Well, me and Kyle both have kids that are at that like two-year-old level where they're just little wild animals, boys, especially.
What are some of your tips for when you just basically have a feral creature?
You give them a speech.
You give them a speech, especially by the time they start the first grade.
And your speech is, always respect older people.
You teach them that from little children.
Respect the aged.
Respect all teachers.
Respect law enforcement.
If you get in trouble with any of those entities, you're going to answer to me and I'll put a belt on you behind.
I know they would get you for child in danger, but these days, but the Bible says, do not spare the rod.
You know, put that rod on their back from time to time.
So I put my belt on their butt from time to time, never more than about three licks when they got out of line, but I did teach them to obey the powers that be, their parents, law enforcement, their teachers.
And by the way, the teaching, the schools called Miss Kay and I up and they said, we're calling you up about your children.
We want to tell you that those were the most well-behaved boys.
We had four of them that we've ever taught.
It was a pleasure to teach your children.
Instead of calling me saying your child is in trouble, you get my point?
The school system were thanking us.
So I didn't get out of hand with them to be too strict with them.
But when my children started having children, Al's the oldest one, then Jason, Willie Boy, and Jeff, They all told me, they said, Dad, and they told their mama, we just want to tell you and Miss Kay, our mother, that we appreciate and thank you for the way you raised us.
Now that we have children, Dad, we get it.
So I was preparing them so that when they had children, they would teach them discipline, a godly life, a clean mouth.
They honor their teachers, law enforcement, and who are the old people.
Unless that's taught at home, you will end up with what we now have in America.
It's sad to watch.
We lost that guys.
We ought to bring it back.
What age should you take your kids duck hunting for the first time?
Well, we would take them probably, I would say they were like six, seven, and eight.
They were not allowed to touch a firearm.
They just could sit and observe.
Once they got third, fourth grade, we'd have little lightweight shotguns for them, but we would have them very close to us with our hand on their shoulder at all times.
And they had had many, many lessons on firearms.
You pick one up, you look and see if it's loaded.
On and on it goes.
So we drilled it in their head.
The danger of firearms, the great thing about, and the danger that they can cause you.
Therefore, when they got about to third or fourth grade, we'd have them a little light shotgun.
We'd monitor them a while.
By the time they got in the eighth or ninth grade, they pretty well were good to go.
But they were well trained in the use of firearms.
You can bet on that.
So jumping back a bit, you described yourself as this barefoot wild man before you came to Christ, running around rock and roll, sex and rock and roll, drugs or whatever.
If you could step off a time machine, go back to that guy, and I'm sure that when you were that guy, you had it in your head that if only I had a bunch of money or if I only had all this stuff, then my life would be different.
I'd be fine.
Everybody has that story that, oh, if only I won the lottery or whatever.
You go back to yourself and you could give yourself some advice from now that you've lived out this life.
You've made a lot of money.
It wouldn't have been, if only I could have had money, if only if I could have had this, if only I could have had that.
No.
What the question was, if only I had known who Jesus was, what he had done for me, if I had known that, I missed it.
I didn't hear about what we've talked about today.
I didn't hear anything about that until I was 28 years old.
Now, we used to go to church as kids and all this, going to church, going to church.
I would go sit in the church building, fall asleep, get out.
I thought it was boring.
It never reached me.
It never became, I never got it until I was 28, run all my family off.
They're gone, all my kids, run them off.
So I had a out of moment.
So I said, okay, let's just see about this God thing.
That's the first time I said, I will listen.
So the guy told me what I told y'all, what y'all already been told.
It's good to hear.
And I thought, hmm.
So I was a changed man from then on.
So it wasn't so much of what I was missing as far as financially of this or that and other.
It was the one I didn't know.
That was the issue.
Once I came to know Jesus then, everything started falling into place, and it's still falling in place to this day.
So, with that, boys, I will say good luck to y'all in California.
I hope what's your name, Gavin, does y'all right.
It doesn't look good for my advantage, but all I can tell y'all is if the godly are making it over there and you two are godly, I would share the good news with everybody I ran into in California.
Maybe, just maybe, we may have a mastery penance in America and we get back to our roots.
Fierce independence, God-reliant love for him and each other.
I'm not asking for the moon here, God's not either.
As a messenger of his, I'm saying, what's the downside?
I don't see the downside.
Do you all?
Nope, no, sir.
All right, my speech is over.
I'm fixing to eat dinner.
Miss Kay's got a meatloaf ready.
I hate that you boys are going to miss it, but hey, you're just too far west, is all I can tell you.
So, you eat dinner at like noon?
We eat dinner, that's dinner, and then you have supper.
So, y'all call it lunch.
Y'all call it lunch, right?
And then dinner, we call it dinner and then supper.
What time do you eat supper?
Like 50?
Six or seven in the evening, about dark.
You got to remember, I've never owned a watch, so I don't tell time with time pieces.
I tell time by you say, Well, what time is it right now?
Right now, it's about midday, just after midday, midday, mid-evening, three o'clock.
It's just before dark, 5:30, 6.
You got dark.
That's when it gets sun.
We go around the planet, eases around the sun.
Uh-oh, just hit herself on this part where we live.
Just the sun's hit now.
We won't see it now for about 12 hours.
Well, then we got just before daylight, daylight, right after daylight, mid-morning, then you got dinner, dinner time.
See what I'm saying?
Yeah, and that way you don't have to have a watch.
Yeah, I've never owned a watch.
Sounds like it's right.
Nobody does it.
I got cell phones.
Chicago, does anyone really know what time it is?
Hey, that's that rock and roll you're not supposed to get around.
So it's always duck o'clock to you.
Duck 30.
Yep.
Duck 30.
All right, cool.
Well, thanks for joining us, Phil.
And go enjoy your duck hunting or whatever you're doing and enjoy your meeting.
Hey, keep the faith.
Keep the faith, boys.
Keep the faith, and God bless you, sir.
He's gone.
He totally just gone.
That was a whirlwind.
So do we want to take a second and talk about what just happened?
Sure.
I don't.
Are they still on, Dan?
Are they still recording?
They're not still on.
I started the phone.
No, but what's his name?
Can they hear us talking?
He's completely gone.
He's gone.
He just totally hung up on us.
That was the most.
That was incredible.
Well, it's just like, usually you have to guide the conversation as the interviewer.
Yeah.
There is no guiding that.
It was like we got on a roller coaster and they just drafted God and they're like, jump on the Phil Roberts roller coaster.
We're going to do some jump on the duck tornado.
Here we go.
Tornado.
We have all these questions.
They didn't even couldn't even.
I'm like, none of these will fit.
Sometimes you just got to hang on for dear life.
No, it was great.
It was like you were talking to a guy at the bus stop.
Like a crazy guy?
Yeah, but I don't mean that in a bad way.
I mean, I've talked to people out in public or like public transportation and get some really interesting perspectives.
Yeah, no, I have envy for guys like that.
Like, this is what I believe.
He just knows what he believes.
He's just excited to talk about it.
He's passionate.
I'm so apprehensive about everything I say.
Is that right?
I've tried to think a lot about that.
I could be wrong.
Well, and I think when you're that age, you just go.
Yeah, I wonder if I'll be like that at that age.
You will be.
I'll be a wild man.
So, yeah, that guy was kind of a quack.
Hey.
Hey.
No, but I mean that in a very loving way.
Yeah, no, it was fun.
Phil is an incredible character to talk to.
Oh, man.
You can just hear the average secular type person, especially somebody who's more liberal, just sitting there and like just steam shooting out of their ears as he talked.
I realized too late how we needed to structure this interview.
Yeah.
What was that?
Is that we needed to just have a bunch of topics that would get him going.
Yeah.
Like, what do you think about Obama?
Yeah.
Oh, Bama.
And then just let him go.
Yeah.
You'd only need like three or four.
Yeah.
I mean, you just, yeah.
So that was the problem is that he would start saying something and I'd say, oh, I have to.
Also, most of the questions he didn't directly answer.
Yeah, he didn't answer, but that's what I'm saying is you would have a response.
Okay, well, I'm going to bring it into this.
And then by the time he finished the response, he was talking about something else.
And he would start answering in the middle of the question, so you never actually got the question.
It's better than the opposite when you have the guy that like.
The worst interviews are you have to coax it out of them.
Yeah, and they kind of give you a little bit.
Yeah.
Which I probably, I assume that's what it's like interviewing me.
I was so bad for people to interview me because I'm a man of few words a lot of times.
Man, a few thoughts.
A few thoughts, yeah.
Well, Phil, thank you for coming on.
The duck commander.
The very first interview who's ever hung up on us.
Some of the questions we were going to ask him.
I like this image that his wife is like always in the kitchen.
Well, she goes, me love, me love.
And he's like, and he's like, well, gotta go.
And then we're still trying to talk.
And he's like, I imagine him sitting on top of some giant dead carcass of some moose-like creature as he was talking to us.
It's like fleeting a moose theme too.
He's like up to his knees in blood.
Is there moose and gutting it as he's talking to us?
Oh, he said he would take us hunting.
Yeah.
We got to take him up on that.
Whoever this guy, the guy is the.
Dan, hook up with the guy and figure out a time to go hunting.
Yeah, we got to go hunting.
What were the other questions that we had that you had?
So then we have all the duck calls.
You're basically the Joe exotic of ducks.
That's our Tiger King Joe.
The Duck King.
The Duck King.
Well, do you want me to just ask you the questions?
I have to pretend to be him.
So it sounds like you're the Joe exotic of ducks.
You're basically the duck king.
What's that?
I don't know.
No, he'd be going on the kingdom of the nation.
Second kings and first kings.
President Obama.
Like three-minute answer and then finish on Obama.
He never talked about Obama that whole interview.
No, he didn't.
I should have brought it up.
He did bring up Gavin Newsome, though.
He's the modern of her.
Gavin over there.
We should have asked him about Pete Buddhig.
Yeah.
I want to hear how he says it.
I want to hear how he says Buddij.
He probably doesn't know who he is.
Buddhaj.
We asked him how many, we wanted to ask how many AR-16s the young ones, why he hates ducks so much.
Yeah, why do you hate ducks so much?
Is it true that you're a failed kazoo maker?
And that's how he got into duck call.
Do ducks go to heaven?
What do you think about the government chemicals in the water that turns the ducks gay?
If you can only shoot Donald or Daffy, which one do you cap first?
Who do you let live?
Have you ever tried dressing up a decoy as a sexy duck woman?
I was thinking he'd dress up as a sexy duck woman and track the ducks that way.
Like, oh, down here, boys.
Do you consider duck hunting an essential activity during the coronavirus?
Do you think that millennials are too lazy for duck calls and all they want to do is just text ducks?
They're just ducks.
Duck texting.
Duck sting.
Duck sting.
Quack text.
How did you play football when you were tripping over your beard the whole time?
He played football for any for Louisiana Tech or anyone who doesn't.
He always says that who's the famous guy that was behind him?
Terry Bradshaw.
Yeah.
He was like a second string or something.
But he's like, I like hunting more.
But he's super, if you look at those old pictures, he's all clean cut.
So I guess you can't play football with a giant wizard beard.
And then we wanted to ask about the band that follows him around.
Yeah, who's this guy that follows you around with a slide guitar the whole time?
I didn't hear him on the phone call.
This is like a guitar player.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Phil, enjoy your dinner.
And we never asked if you met Carmen.
I thought about it a couple times.
A couple times and you know, this ain't worth it.
We only got like five questions, so we had to make them count.
All right.
All right.
Well, guys, thanks for listening in, and that was a lot of fun.
That was fun.
Until next time.
Until next time.
This has been the Babylon B interview show, and the conclusion of the show is happening.
Dave will take care of that.
Right now.
It is ending.
It's over.
And the ending of the show is now.
Agreed.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.