Babylon Bee - Real Moms Of The Babylon Bee

May 6, 2020 - Babylon Bee

01:20:40

Real Moms Of The Babylon Bee

In this special mother's day episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle are joined by their moms, Diane and Diane, to talk about the biggest stories of the week like celebrities being just like you, believe-all-women hypocrisy, and how expert predictions always go well. Then, the biggest topic of the week, your mom. We find out about what it was like having to raise Kyle and Ethan and whether or not it was worth it. In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to keep listening to the two Dianes spill on all the really embarassing stories that they have on Kyle and Ethan. Kyle's mom brings in a treasure trove of old stuff Kyle made. Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment! Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Show Outline Introduction - Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kyle's mom Diane and introduce viewers to the new videocast. Stuff That's Good - Kyle - Disc golf Ethan - Crooked Still Weird news- Police in India reveal device to detain coronavirus lockdown violators without contact Kentucky governor apologizes to Tupac Shakur for unemployment mix-up Sign warns 'mystery human poo-er' to stop defecating on garage Man takes 43 wet sponge hits to the face for Guinness record Stories of the Week Story 1 - Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts With Americans feeling the financial pressure of millions of jobs lost, Celebrities joined together to bring hope to the nation by spelling "We're all in this together" with their yachts Patton Tweet People who thought it was real Hope police cars - PROPHECY REPORT cops got together to spell out HOPE with their cars and they really did that Story 2 - Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican At a prelimary hearing to establish evidence in the sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden, a federal judge dismissed all charges after the revelation that he was not a Republican. This is the new normal since Kavanaugh Get screenshots of tweets from Kavanaugh era Adam Ford updated old Pelosi tweets: https://disrn.com/news/opinion-updated-some-of-pelosis-tweets-in-light-of-accusations-against-biden Feminist attorney Lisa Bloom said she believes Tara Reade was assaulted by Biden but still supports him: I believe you, Tara Reade. Story 3 - Scientists Who Didn't Predict A Single Thing Accurately For Last Two Months Confident They Know What The Weather Is Going To Be Like In 100 Years Authorities in the scientific community who touted faulty COVID-19 models confirmed today that they are "pretty confident" they know what the weather is going to be like in 100 years. Kyle and Ethan play Name That Failed Prophecy! Topic of the Week - Your Mom Was it worth it? Weird/embarrassing stories from the kids' youth (subscriber?) What's your favorite yo momma joke? Parenting advice: you're obviously great parents since you raised the minds behind The Babylon Bee. What is some advice you have for all the young mothers out there? What was the worst part about raising (Ethan/Kyle) What hopes and dreams were crushed the moment you became a parent What do you do with all your free time now Kyle talks about his Christian upbringing. You didn't let him watch movies like The Terminator or Friday the 13th, scarring him for life. What do you have to say for yourself? Are there any interesting home remedies you found as a mother? Tips for moms -- agree or disagree Love Mail/Hate Mail- We got some hate regarding this gem. Paid-subscriber portion Exclusive moms stuff Subscribers, please send you emails to our mailbag at podcast@babylonbee.com so Kyle and Ethan can answer your questions or talk about the things you want to hear about. Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Time	Text
	In a world of fake news, we bring you up-to-the-minute factual inaccuracy and a heavy dose of moral truth with your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
	This is the Babylon Bee, fake news you can trust.
	Welcome to the first ever public Babylon Bee video videotaped taped podcast.
	Wow.
	Videotaped years.
	Votaped.
	We're waiting one of those VCR movies now.
	This is available on Betamax and Laserdisc.
	It's an oddly naked feeling knowing that the internet can see us.
	Now, we have been posting videos to our subscribers.
	We might put some of those up, but this is our first official episode.
	It's a little bit of a different episode because it's Mother's Day.
	Yep.
	So we have a special guest here.
	We have a special guest host, my mom.
	Diane Banner.
	Your mom.
	Thank you.
	I can't make your mom jokes anymore.
	Please make them.
	You have to wait till she leaves.
	Yeah.
	And then later on, she's going to be our interviewee along with.
	My mom's coming on.
	Ethan's mom, who had to Skype in.
	Amazingly, the Skype went well.
	The Skype went fine.
	Yeah.
	Better than other guests.
	We just talked to someone else and it didn't go so well.
	So yeah, we're going to talk moms.
	This is our first.
	I just wanted, you know, I'm sorry that you all had mental images of what we looked like, and I know that we're shattering that right now.
	We had one email that said that they thought that I was a giant, muscular guy with red hair, and not at all.
	I mean, I kind of reddish hair.
	They pictured Ethan like some brave heart warrior.
	Yeah.
	Like giant muscles and red beard.
	My voice that cracks all the time, you'd think they wouldn't.
	Why would they get that image?
	I don't know.
	You're always talking about punching bears and stuff.
	Yeah.
	That's true.
	You talk a big game.
	It's a false masculinity.
	Talk a big game.
	Underneath all this, there's a very masculine guy.
	Somewhere.
	Somewhere underneath all these layers of emotion.
	And love.
	And love.
	So, yeah.
	Well, everybody, this is a podcast where we cover the news, and we do that by reading you Babylon Beast stories, which is the most accurate way to get your brain.
	You don't really cover.
	We just kind of token press.
	This is how people get their news.
	Some people do, yeah.
	And it's how we encourage you to get the news.
	Yeah.
	So we'll dive in to some weird news.
	Let's do it.
	Oh, no, no, no, no.
	We're diving into stuff that's good.
	Stuff that's good.
	But now, this week's edition of stuff that's good.
	So my stuff that's good this week.
	What's good, Kyle?
	Disc golf.
	You like broad things.
	Well, I could recommend a very specific disc golf disc.
	Yeah, exact disc.
	But, and I would recommend Innova's Star Destroyer.
	Okay.
	That's my favorite disc.
	Sounds violent.
	Also the Champion T-Bird by Inova.
	It's a very good beginner disc, and I would recommend it.
	Okay.
	My parents actually got me a disc golf disc basket for Christmas or my birthday or something.
	And so I like having that out in the yard and I just go.
	But anyway, so this is kind of people are returning to outside and they're starting to experience the sunshine and everything.
	And disc golf is great because it is socially distant.
	You're out there kind of in the middle of this course by yourself.
	It's pretty much free.
	Out of all the sports, it's like one that costs basically nothing.
	You get a disc for $10 at Big Five and you're good.
	You can play the whole course with certain discs, like the Champion T-Bird I mentioned, or the Shark.
	The Innov Shark is a great disc.
	And it's such a great community because a lot of sports you have to go in and you have to be really good.
	And this one, it's like, you don't.
	Can you like kind of throw a frisbee?
	You can play disc golf and have a good time.
	So I recommend finding your local disc golf course.
	They are usually free.
	Once in a while, if they're like in a county park or regional park, it'll cost a little bit.
	But it's a great way to spend time with your family, take your kids out.
	People of all ages can enjoy it.
	You can smoke weed while you do it.
	You do that?
	No.
	I just said it's my mom.
	I like smoking meth while I do it.
	Yeah.
	Injecting myth, as we talked about.
	Or whatever.
	However you do, meth.
	Yeah.
	Meth brownies.
	I don't know what you do with meth.
	That's right.
	I don't know.
	Mom, I've never done meth.
	I just want you to know.
	And I don't know anything about, I don't know anything about myth.
	But anyway, yeah, I recommend go and take your family, do some disc golf.
	It's a great way to spend some time.
	And most people that like disc golf really like it.
	I don't get it.
	It's almost like surfers.
	Like they have this like they have this lust about it.
	There's a hardcore thing, but it's such not a hard course, but that's what I mean.
	That's weird.
	My thing I am recommending is a bluegrass band, which they're considered newgrass because they're a newer bluegrass band.
	It's like NU?
	Is it NEW or is it N-E-W?
	Yeah, it's like New Metal.
	Like New Metal.
	But they're called Crooked Still.
	And a lot of people I know that like Bluegrass have not heard of them.
	Now, if you've ever heard of Allison Krauss, she has like a glorious voice.
	I'm sure most people have heard of Allison Krauss.
	The singer of this group has that kind of a silky, like glorious voice.
	And it's just like, it's so good.
	It's this woman named Aoife O'Donovan.
	She's, I believe, Irish.
	Anyway, Crooked Still, if you want some nice strings.
	And I've been listening to them since their very first album.
	I just happened to get it on my desk when I was like in my early 20s.
	But they're on Spotify and highly recommend it.
	Mom, do you have anything you'd like to recommend?
	This is where we give kind of a free pitch.
	Free advertisement to something.
	She deserves it.
	We didn't prep her on this.
	Yeah.
	We've been enjoying walking the various neighborhoods around our home.
	I think they're going to say Walking Dead.
	The Walking Dead.
	So one day we've gone all directions, about a mile each direction, and gone through the neighborhoods and concluded we have really good neighbors because there's some people like with big trucks that are playing music outside their houses and things that make them undesirable to us.
	But it's been fun to just explore.
	We have a little cabin in the mountains where we walk and just look at the different cabins.
	We always do that up there, but never just in Chino.
	Walking the neighborhoods.
	Walking.
	Walking.
	Is good.
	And maybe if you're really extreme, parkour.
	You could do extreme walking.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	All right.
	This is weird.
	It's good.
	Oh, yeah.
	This has been stuff that's good.
	This news is weird.
	This is where we read real stories that actually happen.
	Mom, you want to read the first one?
	First headline there under weird news?
	Police in India reveal device to detain coronavirus lockdown violators without contact.
	Yeah, so these police have these giant tong type things.
	They have giant tongs.
	Giant grabber.
	Oh, it just.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah.
	So we'll have a picture up on there.
	Yeah, it disappeared for me.
	But yeah, they have these giant tongs that they use to grab people, to arrest people without being within six feet of you.
	Are these stories you actually did or are the ones that they didn't really quite make it?
	Okay.
	No, these are actual things.
	No, these are like, this is real news.
	Oh, this is real news.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	This is not Babylon B. Kentucky governor apologizes to Tupac Shakur for unemployment mix-up.
	So this governor, he basically had been saying that there's been all these unemployment check mix-ups.
	So we're sending checks to people that obviously aren't real or they're dead.
	But it turns out there actually is a guy named Tupac Shakur in his, Where he lives, and the guy was kind of upset.
	He's like, Hey, I'm real.
	So I don't know.
	It's funny to me that there really is a Tupac Shakur.
	He's like, Look at this.
	This check was made up to Tupac Shakur.
	He said, We had somebody apply for an employment for Tupac Shakur here in Kentucky.
	And then later, the Tupac Shakur guy goes, I'm hurt.
	I'm really embarrassed, and I'm shocked.
	Shakur told the Lexington Herald.
	He's acting.
	He needs to apologize.
	That's just my name.
	Has he apologized?
	I demand.
	Oh, he did apologize.
	That's the story.
	Yeah.
	I think he did apologize.
	Yeah.
	Sign sign warns mystery human poor to stop defecating on garage.
	How do you like on a garage?
	Yeah, like on the garage.
	I think this is in Australia.
	Somebody kept pooping on their garage.
	And so they actually put a sign up.
	Do I have the sign here?
	Yeah, I think I have it.
	We can put it up on the picture.
	I'll put it up there.
	The sign says, Dear Garage Pooper.
	Dear Mystery Human Pooer.
	And there's going to be some flower beds in here.
	We have installed this fence and a camera to hand over to the police.
	We understand that COVID-19 is tough on everyone, but please stop on our garage.
	Also, make sure you chew your food better and whatever it is that makes it sticky.
	I get that checked.
	There's a toilet in the car park opposite Banana Joe's.
	Thank you for your cooperation.
	That's good.
	I like the mix of passive aggression and politeness at the end there.
	It gets warmer.
	Get that checked.
	All right, mom, take the last one for us.
	Man takes 43 wet sponge hits to the face for Guinness Record.
	Wow.
	You should have been a newscaster, Mom.
	You're reading these very good.
	I think his parents are real proud of that.
	Dad, mom, I did it.
	I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records.
	And 43 is 43 times with a wet sponge.
	So we could take 44 and get into the Guinness.
	I guess maybe it's in a certain amount of time.
	Do they really hurt?
	Is that why it's.
	I think so.
	It's just a point-blank hit in the face.
	There's a video.
	Just throwing a wet spongy?
	Yeah, this face shot.
	This guy's just in it for the fame, and it's like, you didn't even do anything hard to get in the book of Guinness Records.
	Sad.
	Pathetic.
	Sad.
	Not good.
	All right, let's move into our Babylon B stories of the week.
	Let's do it.
	Every week there are stories.
	These are some of them.
	Yeah.
	Inspiring.
	With Americans feeling the financial pressure of millions of jobs lost, celebrities have joined together to bring hope to the nation by spelling we're all in this together out with their yachts.
	Wow, that's really amazing.
	That had to take a lot of coordination for them to get all their yachts in the right exact spot.
	Yeah.
	And they spelled it right.
	They probably had to pay their servants a lot of money to navigate it.
	Navigate the yachts.
	Yeah.
	The sacrifices of celebrities are pretty.
	It's amazing.
	I liked Alan DeGennaris being the apostrophe in Weird.
	That was a good detail.
	Besides appreciating that there is an apostrophe in Weir.
	That was fun.
	Oh, did it?
	Is that in the article?
	Yeah, that's in the article.
	I wrote the article.
	Yeah.
	And I don't remember.
	I did Photoshop.
	So the fun thing was there was people that thought this was real.
	This one got mistaken.
	I mean, there's really only like four yachts in the whole picture.
	I used lots of copies.
	Yeah.
	And also, like, if you look at it, one of them has a giant shadow and all the other ones don't.
	Yeah.
	It should be really obvious that it's not real.
	But it looks like it's like floating on the water.
	My favorite people have people that look at it and go, like, they act like they're sleuths and they're like, if you zoom in, it's clearly Photoshopped.
	Like, here's a detail and they're like a little red circle on a certain spot.
	See, you can tell.
	Wow.
	Good job.
	You got me.
	It has been fun seeing them not on their stage, though.
	I know we're kind of sick of them preaching to us.
	Yeah.
	When someone just sings to you from their living room without makeup, they don't have laughs.
	They don't have an audience to laugh with them.
	That's been the funniest thing about Bill Maher.
	He looks like he's squirming on some of those.
	Then he's on there.
	Yeah, you don't have the studio audience.
	Yeah, because all he has to do is kind of nod at his audience if he wants them to all interrupt or funny job.
	He's talking to, yeah.
	Or no, it's if the guy starts to make a point.
	Did I talk about this already on the show?
	I can't remember.
	We talked about it.
	I don't remember if we talked about it on it.
	Because he interviewed Dan Crenshaw, eye patch guy.
	Yeah.
	A pirate.
	Crenshaw just was schooling him hard on everything.
	And if they were in the studio, he could have like, if Crenshaw made a good point, he could just do his little thing.
	He always does his like kind of like nonsense.
	We're on video now.
	This thing?
	And then the whole audience is like, ah, yeah, yeah, he's an idiot.
	Seals are.
	And he can't do that now.
	He just goes like this, and like, there's nobody.
	Crickets.
	He's looking around.
	And Crenshaw is still just dropping.
	He's like the truth on him.
	He's calling in the maid.
	Can you come here?
	Get me my seals.
	Oh, man.
	So here's some people that thought it was real.
	Yeah, these are some real tweets.
	One person tweeted, No, we are not in this together.
	They're in on it with who giving their millions to it instead of helping all poor and homeless in LA.
	And they were responding to a tweet that said, Don't forget the celebrities.
	They got together to share this inspiring message with their yachts.
	And then thankfully, another guy chimed in and said, This is a Photoshop pick from the Babylon B parody website.
	Ruined all the fun.
	Yep.
	Another guy goes, In all caps, completely out of touch.
	And then someone replied to that.
	If we all was in this together, then we all would have yachts and fake lives like they do.
	And then one of my favorites, this woman says, they are clueless.
	There's a saying right now that we're all in the same storm, but we're not all in the same boat.
	But we really, we really are not all on the same boat because some people's boats are way bigger than other people.
	They have servants on their boat.
	Do you want to read one of these that thought it was real?
	You see that one from Mel there?
	I don't see one from Mel.
	Here we go.
	We're getting one.
	It's deplorable.
	Yeah.
	I think it's meant to be an insult.
	They mean we, as in they, the elite minority, are in on a scam.
	That's just how I think.
	It's like, I'm just saying.
	That's just how I think.
	Isn't there a percentage of people that just don't do not get satire?
	Yeah, there is an inherited trait thing.
	20 to 40%.
	That just do not understand it.
	Yeah.
	How about this one?
	This person has got some of those conspiracy theories going on here.
	They feel like this article validates them.
	Tsunami anyone?
	I'm too funny.
	Can't wait till these lively Nazis distribute their wealth demonstration, their commitment to equality for all.
	Such stars almost blinds me with their brilliance.
	What's not to love?
	Just ignore the minor detail about cannibalism and adrenal chrome.
	Look at those lovely yacht sentiment.
	Touching, ain't it?
	So this guy goes, or it's a woman, goes straight to the cannibalism and adrenal chrome.
	You heard these theories?
	It's like conspiracy theories.
	There's a whole conspiracy that like this conspiracy conspiracy that these celebrities they harvest, I think, fetuses or babies to like suck out some chemical from their brains to create adrenal chrome, which is a drug that they all feast on.
	And it makes them like all like superhuman so they can be super famous.
	There's real people that believe this.
	My wife has friends, a friend that's like, email, like, it's really, people are talking about this.
	Oh, we're probably going to get this.
	Never heard of this now.
	And they'll be like, yeah, it's legit, man.
	You are upsetting the commoner.
	And finally, first, that's not Malibu.
	Second, you can see, you can't see what's being spelled out over the water unless you're flying overhead.
	Third, those morons couldn't coordinate something like this.
	Who would weep over this?
	Is Hollywood trying to play us again?
	Yep.
	So this person thinks that Hollywood put this out.
	Yeah.
	So one of the best responses to this, because we did include Patton Oswalt in the story, because this is kind of a response to a partially a response to one of his tweets, right?
	Yeah, I was just making one of the general Hollywood responses.
	Hollywood responses were a really bad tweet where he said something like, oh, you people just that are protesting for the lockdown to end.
	You just want to go to Fudruckers.
	Yeah, you just want to go sit and be a fat pig at Fudruckers or something, right?
	I feel like I'm swearing when I say that word.
	Fudrucker.
	So he was being a little Fudrucker about it.
	Yeah, a little bit of a Homer Fudrucker.
	Flowerbed Rucker.
	Flowerbed Rucker.
	Yeah.
	And what the heck?
	I thought I had the tweet on the table.
	So in the article, we mentioned Patton Oswald as being one of the guys who sails his boats out there to form these letters.
	And he saw that and he responded to it.
	And he responded in we have the tweet right here.
	We will show it.
	There will have to be some words crossed out, but he basically said that the tweet was very funny.
	And he said, I kind of regret that old tweet I did.
	And he's like, yeah, these guys disagree with me.
	At least they're funny about it.
	But it's a good joke.
	So he took it well.
	We appreciate that.
	What I like about it is he probably doesn't realize that we're a conservative humorous site.
	And so I like that moment where he probably didn't.
	Maybe he did.
	I'm really curious.
	But yeah, who knows?
	And if Pat and Oswald, you ever want to come on our show?
	Yeah.
	Totally have you on our show.
	You'd get canceled, but.
	Yeah, get canceled.
	Oh, well.
	I was trying to find the tweet now.
	I couldn't.
	I give it.
	Oh, well.
	All right.
	All right.
	You want to move on to our next story?
	Next story.
	At a preliminary hearing to establish evidence in the sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden, a federal judge dismissed all charges after the revelation that he was not a Democrat.
	Well, that's good for him.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, sometimes there's like you need like a lot of evidence.
	And then other times.
	And then somebody's been rapish.
	And then other times you don't need a whole lot of evidence because.
	Wait, we did this wrong.
	What?
	That he was not a Republican.
	What?
	Did I say it wrong?
	Oh, yeah, he is a Democrat.
	That's embarrassing.
	I might have typed that.
	I might have typed it in.
	I think you typed that one.
	That made the joke not work at all.
	That was like crickets.
	I don't think it was.
	Anytime I have a negative in a headline, like a not this or not.
	Yeah.
	I like think about it for a long time.
	I'm like, wait, does that make sense?
	Because I can't think through the negative.
	He is a Democrat.
	Is a Democrat.
	Got it.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, you guys get it.
	You get the joke.
	You got to think some of these people that have been put behind bars for this kind of stuff, like Weinstein and Epstein.
	Yeah.
	They probably realized too late if I had just told the judge.
	Like if they just gone up there and said, well, I'm a Democrat.
	I'm a Democrat.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I should have run for office as a Democrat.
	I'm sorry, sir, right this way.
	And they would just free him right on the spot.
	So it's a bummer that they didn't.
	Yeah, I mean, it's so like to watch what happened with Kavanaugh, that was definitely very eye-opening.
	And then to see this, like, it's just the juxtaposition is, it's so, like, in your face that, I mean, I guess this is why the media is just completely not trusted at this point.
	But everybody who is shouting about Kavanaugh are just silent now.
	Yeah, it's partisanship.
	It happens from both sides.
	This is just a pretty glaring example on the other side.
	Yeah.
	Mom, your thoughts.
	I was thinking.
	She wants to bring people together.
	She wants to unify.
	Oh, okay.
	Okay.
	I'll go with that story.
	I had to.
	You'd say whatever you want.
	I was just.
	You have a Facebook friend who you grew up with, and he's a Democrat and said this week on Facebook, he doesn't think he thinks they should take Biden out of it.
	And he thinks it should be fair on both sides.
	You know who I'm talking about?
	Zach?
	I don't.
	Zach Cooney.
	Oh.
	So that was kind of something you don't see because everybody gets so cited.
	I'll bet there are quite a few people on the left who are like, let's get this guy out of here.
	But it's just we see that vocal part in the leadership that is telling everybody, no, you got to get behind this guy.
	Yeah.
	You see these op-eds coming out and they're like, maybe Believe All Women was kind of a little much to like, they're suddenly becoming very introspective now that they're saying believe Emory accusation.
	Maybe we should have believed all.
	You know, it's really hard to, it's hard to come to a conclusion on this now that suddenly they're becoming very nuanced about it.
	Yeah.
	Because, you know, it's fine now.
	You know, we forgot in the last story.
	I usually don't go back to a story, but we missed that these police cars, because some of the Babylon beasts sometimes we're prophetic.
	So I just want to mention that the yacht story, well, the yachts created a message a few days later.
	Police went out and shaped their cars into the word hope.
	So these cops are arresting mothers that are taking their children to playground people inside.
	Keeping people in there.
	It spelled out hope.
	They spelled out hope.
	We need a prophecy-fulfilled soundbite and graphic.
	Prophecy.
	Prophecy.
	Fulfilled.
	A little checkmark.
	Yeah.
	Back to the Biden accusations to you.
	Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if someone just told the truth.
	Maybe I'm idealistic.
	I'm sure I am.
	But what if he just said this happened in the hallway?
	And it's probably not, it's not the only thing I ever did to anyone.
	And I've changed.
	I don't know.
	That was the weird thing about Kavanaugh, right?
	Like, even if he had done what they say he had done, like, they were so young.
	It was so long ago.
	And, like.
	Well, it was rape.
	I mean.
	Was it rape?
	Yeah.
	With Kavanaugh.
	Wait, I mean, with Biden, it's rape too.
	That's the thing.
	It's not.
	But they were like in high school, right?
	They were really young.
	I don't know if it matters.
	I can't remember.
	I'm not saying it's okay, but I'm just saying, like, it was, I don't remember there being actual rape, though.
	I thought it was like he was not anyway.
	I don't want to get anything.
	He was Kavanaugh, but he was like some of their clothes or something.
	He's waving his arms around for the audio.
	Yeah.
	But it's kind of like watching a movie where you just say, well, if they would just say the truth right here.
	Yeah.
	But then there won't be a movie.
	Yeah, that's true.
	It was just, yeah.
	One thing Adam Ford did, our dear leader, he grabbed a bunch of old Nancy Pelosi tweets from during the Kavanaugh hearings and just switched out the names for Tara Reed and Joe Biden.
	So here's Nancy Pelosi.
	I applaud the courage of Tara Reed to come forward to share her story as we continue to learn more about these allegations against Joe Biden.
	We must ensure that Reed's right to justice and privacy are respected.
	So that was originally she had no, yeah, originally that's not what she said.
	Yeah, originally she had, that would have been Christine Blasey Ford and Judge Kavanaugh.
	Every American.
	Oh, go ahead.
	Every American should be concerned about what the debate around the allegations against Joe Biden says to young people across our country.
	We should stand with survivors, not punish them when they decide to speak out.
	Believe survivors.
	Believe.
	But then they don't believe.
	Yeah, it's weird.
	Anyway, I think people get the gist of it.
	You get the idea.
	It hurts.
	So one of the funniest parts was Lisa Bloom, who is a feminist attorney.
	Oh, yeah.
	She put up on Twitter that she believes Terry Reid was assaulted by Biden, but still will vote for him and supports him.
	She's like, I believe he's a rapist, but I will vote for him.
	That's incredible.
	I mean, I think her justification was she thinks Trump's a rapist, too.
	She's hard to pick.
	I believe you, Tara Reed.
	You have people who remember you told them about this decades ago.
	We know he's handsy.
	You're not asking for money.
	You've obviously struggled mightily with this.
	I still have to fight Trump.
	So I will still support Joe.
	But I believe you.
	And I'm sorry.
	It's weird.
	Empty words if you're still voting for him, I guess.
	Is the news talking about that phone call from the mom?
	Are they not talking about it?
	I've heard it in conservative news, but yeah, she called into Larry King.
	They're saying it can't be proven it was her, but I'm sure there's some videotape of her and you could compare the voices.
	I mean, the sad thing is it's just obnoxious that this has to happen.
	Every politician now, I mean, they have to dig somebody up, and then this whole thing has to go turn it all into this, oh, they did this.
	I mean, we'll have to go through this with everybody.
	Yeah, I mean, the thing, I think that most conservatives during Kavanaugh were saying, if he did this, it's really bad.
	Yeah.
	But let's look at the evidence.
	Let's see what the evidence says.
	Right.
	And you can still say that about Tara Reid.
	Like, well, maybe Joe didn't do that.
	What's the evidence?
	Yeah.
	But the weird thing here is that it's the timing, though.
	It's that super crazy thing that they're doing on the left where they're going, you know, we must believe all women.
	Yeah.
	They said two years ago.
	You know, they're saying, well, we didn't mean all.
	And it's just this crazy, crazy backflipping.
	So.
	All right.
	Well.
	You guys are way more serious in real life than when I listened to you.
	Well, that was a serious story.
	That was a serious story.
	Let's go to a more funner one.
	Yeah, more funner.
	Authorities in the scientific community who touted faulty COVID-19 models confirmed today that they are pretty confident they know what the weather is going to be like in 100 years.
	Good to hear.
	I like confidence.
	So they predict everything wrong for two months.
	Yeah.
	But in 100 years, we're pretty sure what.
	Are you saying climate scientists predicted COVID?
	Okay, so it's authorities, right?
	Yeah.
	Experts.
	Experts.
	Well, I think most of the time experts have really good predictions, and they're never wrong about anything.
	Yeah, I agree.
	So we should always listen to everything they say.
	I agree.
	I disavow.
	I recant this story.
	So what we're going to do is we're going to play a little game here called Name That Failed Prophecy.
	Now, we're going to do multiple choice, and then you will pick which one you think a real scientist said.
	And then we will reveal which one.
	Okay.
	I don't know if your mom knows how this is going to work.
	Well, I don't know if your mom knows how it's going to work.
	So we'll see.
	All right.
	I'll read first.
	You choose Kyle.
	Go.
	Okay.
	The world will be cold enough to have gone into another ice age two times over by the year 2000.
	That's one.
	With the amount of time the Earth spins in a given millennia, scientists predict mass dizziness and a pandemic of vomit by the year 2010 because of all the spinning.
	By the year 2015, every American household will deal with the tragic experience of their pets' heads falling off.
	Fourth choice.
	After decades of cow abuses, cows will develop a natural milk toxin that will wipe out the human race by the year 2012.
	Which one is real?
	An actual prediction a scientist made.
	That's what I'm trying to guess.
	I'm going to go with the cow milk toxin.
	Wrong.
	It's actually the scientists said that the world would be cold enough to have gone into another ice age twice over by the year 2000.
	So not just one time, like reach an ice age, it'll get twice as cold as it would take.
	Didn't really happen as far as I remember.
	Okay.
	That's so confusing because didn't they, don't they say we're warming?
	Yeah, now they say they're warm.
	Don't worry.
	That's why they say climate change now because then whatever.
	Well, it's changing.
	It's changing.
	The spinning thing, though, I almost almost jumped on that one.
	Oh, yeah, you were going to go with spinning.
	One of my first dates with Kyle's rocket scientist dad, we had salt and pepper shaker on the table.
	And I'm like, okay, if the Earth spins so fast, how come we don't get dizzy?
	And I'm making it go around the sun, spin, spin, spin, because I understand that it's big and it's that whole 24-hour for one spin.
	I just thought everyone just always said the earth spins fast.
	So whoever wrote that.
	How many miles an hour are moving right now?
	It's crazy to think about.
	Yeah, if it's so fast, how come we're not dizzy?
	That's what's yeah, vomiting all the time.
	Or no, I said, how come it doesn't go day night, day night, day night like that?
	So you convinced him that the earth is flat.
	He's like, wait a minute, I never thought of this.
	We're on a big disc.
	Disc golf.
	Okay, so here's some for you, Ethan.
	All right.
	The earth will be entirely depleted of flaming hot Cheetos by September.
	Oh, man.
	100% of humans will experience death by bear.
	By 2000, the earth will be overpopulated with 7 billion people, and that is simply unsustainable.
	We had 150 million violent gun deaths over the past 15 years, meaning that humanity will be extinct by approximately yesterday.
	Well, you know what?
	I'm going with.
	Obviously, 100% of humans will experience death by bear.
	I knew that you would jump on that one.
	And that's why I wrote it.
	And you are wrong.
	What?
	The actual prediction is that by 2000, the Earth will be overpopulated with 7 billion people.
	So what's funny about that prediction, because that goes back in the late 60s, that they predicted this.
	They're about 14 years off.
	There are 7 billion now over that.
	But they predicted that that'd be so unsustainable we could not survive that massive population boom of that many people.
	We couldn't handle it.
	Yeah, it says here that he forecasted that hundreds of millions would starve to death in the 70s.
	Yeah, 70s.
	And like over 60 million Americans would starve to death in the 70s.
	So wrong.
	Wrong, Paul.
	Dumb scientists.
	Gosh, scientists are idiots.
	What idiots these scientists are?
	Gosh, get a real degree.
	Yeah.
	Goodness.
	All right.
	I'm going to read.
	You want to read them?
	You want to read them and my mom came.
	Mom will ants pig this one.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Let's see.
	By the year 2014, water will be obsolete.
	Option two, global warming will be so bad by 2005 that you can cook a bag of popcorn just by holding it out the window.
	Third option, by the year 2000, 30 years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia will be in complete famine.
	Or, finally, there's a very real danger of having at least three new Newsboys albums released in the next five years.
	Which one's real?
	Was really made.
	Why are you laughing?
	This is serious.
	Because I totally forgot all of them.
	Number three is what I put in my head because it had a lot of words and it sounded like a scientist would.
	This is a little bit bad.
	She's planning to win.
	She's planning to win.
	Yeah.
	I know, because I couldn't be funny about any of the other ones.
	You are correct.
	It is correct.
	The entire world will be in a state of.
	They live by the year 2000 that the entire world will be in famine.
	This is a little balder dash-ish.
	Yeah, it's like Balderdash.
	Yep.
	You ever play that game?
	No.
	We should play the board game, Ethan.
	Oh, I'm so bad at it.
	I just giggle.
	You make up definitions for words and you have to guess which one's real.
	So fun.
	He said, Peter Gunter, a professor at North Texas State University in the 1970 issue of Living Wilderness, said, demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable.
	By 1975, widespread famines begin in India.
	These will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China, the Near East, Africa.
	By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under complete famine conditions.
	Wow.
	Did not happen.
	No.
	All right.
	Here you go, Ethan.
	Ready?
	Final.
	The finale.
	Earth has one moon after approximately 6,000 years since the date of creation.
	So after 600,000 years, Earth will have approximately 100 moons.
	That makes sense.
	The moons, yeah, they reproduce.
	Between 1970 and 1995, a mass extinction, like what happened to the dinosaurs, will happen next to environmental policies.
	Okay.
	Scientists now believe we are at risk of having over 5,267 Tyler Perry movies by the year 2030.
	Climate change will cause everybody's hair to burst into flames by 2007, but even sooner if they use Aquanet.
	I'm going with the Tyler Perry movies for sure, Tyler Perry.
	Correct.
	Medea.
	But not correct, because you are wrong.
	No, it said that there would be a dinosaur-like mass extinction at the first Earth Day.
	The political sponsor, Senator Gaylord Nelson, warned that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80% of all living animals, all species of living animals would be extinct.
	Hmm.
	A little bit off.
	By that much.
	It's a good phrase.
	You have to hand it to Tyler Perry, though.
	He makes Tyler Perry movies.
	He keeps making movies, and sometimes they're surprisingly not very good.
	Like it's a stage show or something.
	It's a job.
	But he keeps making them.
	He's got his own private jet.
	I mean, the guy's doing this.
	Bren and I, when we, if one of us gets home, we say, hello.
	Like, so we, you know, we imitate Tyler Perry a little bit.
	Can you do the impression for us?
	Which one?
	The Hello.
	I want to see.
	Hello.
	That's it.
	That's the impression.
	Okay.
	And then the uncle.
	Oh, my gosh.
	Did you ever F-A-R-T on an aeroplane?
	The guy don't say that.
	She won't say the moon.
	She won't say the F-A-R T.
	I wasn't allowed to say this.
	So we do.
	So you want to know what I said?
	Mom, what word did we say instead of fart?
	Okay.
	This is thanks to Karis.
	We said bottom bubbles.
	Bottom bubbles.
	That's so much worse.
	We said gas.
	So I texted Kyle once, like, you guys should use bottom bubbles as another flowerbed word.
	And he didn't text me back, which always the no text back means like the opposite of LOL.
	Do you understand your dad or your dad?
	Your son gets suggestions all day long.
	This is true.
	From the entire movie.
	I don't want you any different.
	Everybody else pitches headlines and I just ignore.
	I delete it.
	I've become numb too.
	Like good friends will send me ideas and like not answering that.
	Yeah, but when you get that LOL, it means something.
	It does for the LOL.
	Though Kyle's a little cheap with LOL.
	Well, maybe all caps LOL.
	Because I've been sitting with him and seen him type LOL and he's not laughing out loud.
	Just so you know.
	It's not real.
	He's lying.
	He's lying.
	All right.
	Well, what we're going to do now is we're going to talk to our moms.
	Yes, we're going to bring on, well, your mom's here.
	My mom's going to come in via technology.
	And you're going to find out all about our childhoods.
	Yeah.
	Which is going to be wonderful.
	Let's do it.
	And now, the Babylon bees topic of the week.
	Well, it's Mother's Day, or almost Mother's Day.
	And so we are here talking about the most important topic in the universe.
	Your mom.
	Right.
	Your mom.
	Your mama.
	It's a big topic.
	No, never mind.
	But we are interviewing the most.
	It's a little topic for both.
	I mean, we have small moms.
	That's right.
	But I said, your mom, like the subscribers.
	Never mind.
	Someone out there's got a giant mom.
	We got to be careful we say our moms because our moms are here.
	We've had many guests on the Babylon B podcast.
	Right.
	Ron Paul.
	Ron Paul.
	Phil.
	Well, he hasn't.
	We haven't shown it.
	Phil Johnson.
	Yeah.
	No.
	What is it?
	Is it Phil Johnson?
	Duck Dynasty.
	Not Phil Johnson.
	Phil. Robertson.
	Phil Robertson.
	Phil Johnson's the MacArthur guy.
	Who else?
	This is going well.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	But way surpassing any of these politicians and commentators, more important than any of them.
	Right.
	He's our mothers.
	So today we have our mothers on the Mother's Day podcast.
	Welcome.
	First, let's say welcome, Diane.
	Welcome, Diane.
	And also, Diane.
	We have two Diane.
	We were both raised by a Diane.
	So should we tell them the way to discern them now?
	Diane 1 and Diane 2.
	Diane Mann.
	A Diane Man.
	My mom's last name is Begs.
	So we could do D-Man and D-Begs.
	That's a weird word.
	So when you do that with my name, it sounds like Demon.
	What do you have?
	What do you have your grandparents, your children call you?
	Grandma.
	Don't call me Grandma.
	I call you Grandma.
	We're not going to say Grandma.
	Mine call mine Granny D.
	Well, if Kyle says mom, we'll know he's talking to me.
	And if you say Diane, we'll know your daughter.
	That's a good point.
	I'll say Diane.
	Or Ethan's mom, Kyle's mom.
	Right.
	And then we'll figure it out.
	We're pretty smart.
	We'll figure it out.
	All right.
	Well, it's Mother's Day.
	We're here.
	We're talking, and we want to find out.
	First question overall, just you birthed.
	You birthed us.
	You worked hard.
	You made money.
	You did whatever you had to do.
	I mean, my mom was a single mom, so she went through a lot.
	All moms go through a lot and they're trying to.
	But are you saying my mama didn't go through a lot?
	Was it worth it?
	Was it worth it?
	Goodness gracious.
	Yeah, was it worth it?
	Was it worth it?
	Of course.
	Absolutely worth it.
	Absolutely.
	Your mom said it faster than mine was on a scale of one from one to ten.
	Well, of course it's an 10, really.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Gazillion.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well, you know how you feel about your kids.
	I know.
	That's how we felt about our kids.
	We're going through that right now.
	We're just like, is this worth it?
	Well, when they're younger, it's more of a question.
	We have this spread right now.
	We have one junior high who's hitting like the worst times of junior high, and then we have the two-year-old, which is the worst.
	And then the five-year-old's playing off the two-year-old.
	And we're in the lockdown, so we're like locked down with kids at their like the worst moments of their lives.
	So to think that it will all be worth it in the end makes you go, man, it's going to be awesome.
	Yes, it's awesome right now.
	Do you mothers have any words of encouragement for Ethan as he goes into this stage of tweens and teens?
	I know I was a horrible teenager.
	Or memories or anything to help guide Ethan through the valley of the shadow of death.
	Shadow of the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
	Shadow of the Man.
	I don't know.
	I always get that mixed up.
	What gender is your girl, Diane?
	I did have two girls after I had two boys.
	That's what I'm asking, Ethan.
	What sex is it?
	Two-year-old boy, five-year-old girl.
	The 10-year-old boy is actually pretty easy right now.
	And then the 13-year-old girl is in teen year, very dramatic.
	So I would say appreciate your girls for the beauty and complexity they bring to the world.
	Okay.
	They're less simple than boys, more complex, but they bring so much beauty and joy and celebrate her.
	Okay.
	She always says things so nice.
	I know.
	I'm too deep for this show.
	The beauty.
	Too deep for the people of the podcast.
	She says beauty and complexity.
	So it's like, oh, it's going to be a train wreck.
	That's how I translate it.
	That sounds like shattered spines.
	Well, also just realize that it's not going to be forever.
	You know, their hormones are raging and everything is so serious and they don't like themselves, you know.
	And I think it's important to remind them, too, that all their other friends are feeling this way, even though it doesn't seem like it.
	You know, they think they're the only ones going through this and they're not.
	Yeah.
	Also, I suggest that as a dad, you should let your daughter know she's beautiful, that she's physically beautiful, and warn her about men.
	I don't think girls realize, young girls don't realize, you know, especially I think now in this day and age with so much sexuality and everything, that they're tempting men just by the way they look, you know.
	And I never knew that when I was a kid, when I was young, that men are tempted by physical things, physical beauty, you know.
	Yeah, you try to explain to a girl how a guy's mind works and they really have to choose to believe it because I don't think they can really comprehend the way it works.
	It seems like they think so differently in that arena.
	Modest is modest.
	There you go.
	That's a good one.
	Yeah, I'm pretty glad not to have girls.
	I mean, girls are wonderful, but it's special having girls.
	I don't know if I could do it.
	I didn't think I literally was wanting.
	I never thought I was a guy who wanted a daughter, but the thing about Kaya's son is like, I imagined my son, and he's kind of, I mean, you know, there's things about him I never could have imagined.
	But like, you have your idea of what having a son is like, and it kind of lines up with that.
	Like, you, you know, a daughter, you don't think about it.
	Like, you aren't like your son is going to become a big, you know, he, he looks at you as somebody who's going to become that one day.
	But your daughter, your daughter, you're this mysterious creature, this giant creature that protects her.
	You're like her Blue the Bear or like the Iron Giant, or you're just like, you're this giant creature that is rough and stubbly.
	And you embrace her and care for her.
	And you're like this, almost, you feel like this magic beast when she's with you.
	And you float down the river with her on your belly and you teach her how to eat bugs.
	Exactly.
	I like having the moms on.
	They laugh at my jokes.
	Most people don't laugh at my jokes.
	All right, so describe us as teenagers.
	What was Kyle like as a teenager?
	Yeah, that's there is like no time to think about this and there's no way to adequately describe it.
	So Kyle was okay.
	He was president of the Christian club and class clown.
	That explains a lot right there.
	Self-professed class clown or sort of the school.
	I think I won class clown one year in the senior year maybe in high school.
	I would say he despised convention.
	It's contrary.
	He would wear these glasses to school that didn't have the lenses in them, these just black frames.
	Like to be the weirdo.
	And different shoes from each other, bright colors.
	And if anything had a Nike logo or anything, there'd be duct tape over it because he wasn't.
	I didn't like wearing logos either.
	He wasn't going to promote these big brands.
	I will not bow to any corporate sponsor.
	Sometimes he would write Bible verses on his shirt.
	Very, very likable.
	I'm Jimmy, but I'm his mom.
	But she is my mom.
	So I'll take that with a great salt.
	I think you bought some book for everybody in your philosophy club.
	Yeah, it was more than a carpenter.
	Josh McDowell, I think.
	Yeah.
	He had a cousin band, so he was creative with his music.
	Oh, he said he had a cousin band.
	No, but you are banned from the family.
	I got a cousin band.
	You're that we love it.
	Yeah, we had our little creed wannabe rock band.
	Nice.
	Yeah, he just embraced life and just brought so much joy.
	It's starting to sound like laughter.
	Sound like his funeral.
	Embraced life.
	He embraced life.
	Laughter.
	And he had really long hair.
	He will be missed.
	For a while, he had his Jesus hair going on.
	This all sounds like you could just copy this to me almost.
	What do you think, Mom?
	No, you weren't really into Christian stuff.
	Oh, yeah, that was halfway through high school.
	Yeah.
	Ninth grade, 10th grade.
	He was the total grunge freak.
	Kurt Cobain.
	Yeah.
	He was into Kurt Cobain and had long pigtails and long stringy hair.
	Oh, that must have been.
	That was Isaiah, huh?
	Isaiah did that weird, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Did you have a nice ponytail?
	I never tied it.
	I just had the long, I went with the Kirk Cobain hair that covered my eyes.
	So I like look around and stare at people through my hair.
	Yeah.
	Mope around.
	It's like a girl.
	What's that?
	Remember how often I was confused with a girl by people?
	Like, sir, is your daughter going to stay in the car during this car wash?
	We got that question.
	Really?
	I didn't know that.
	Well, yeah, and I can just remember the grungy shorts and the big black boots with, you know, crummy old t-shirts.
	Yeah, combat boots.
	Yeah, I made my own shirts.
	Yeah, combat boots.
	But I didn't write Bible verses on them.
	I drew pictures of severed heads and things like that.
	And rats.
	Yeah, I knew he was into the high school newspaper drawing cartoons and got in trouble for a couple of those because they were all about what was that that you were the severed heads and arms and things I made a whole series of jokes about animals with leprosy.
	Yeah.
	So it's just all these dumb jokes where like a dog is catching a frisbee, but it's making his head come off or like a cat is like scratching the drapes but its arms are still stuck on the drapes and the cat's on the ground like oh my arms fell off.
	So this was a prelude to your biblical nest because there were severed heads in the Bible.
	There was leprosy in the Bible.
	I see it.
	Leprosy.
	Yeah.
	He uses these skills to this day to draw severed things on the Babylon B.
	So that's right.
	Do we still have any of these comics, Diane?
	I have a book of them.
	I think I have it on my site maybe.
	Oh, I think if you sign up for my Patreon, you get one of them, like a digital.
	Yeah, I did a bunch of those.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And he had a couple of different bands, started bands, and they played here at least once a month.
	Right?
	Yeah, because I lived in the garage out there in London.
	And I was quote lady at the concerts and the first aid lady because the bosh pit uh had some injuries.
	Yeah, moms are like angels man when it comes to kids who start bands because they're at every show.
	I know now that I know I, I really my kids better not start a band.
	I can't believe you went through that with me.
	It's so nice.
	I look back now i'm like wow, thank you.
	So obnoxious, the number one supporters always.
	Yeah yeah yeah oh, that was kind of neat.
	I thought having the band in the practice in the garage, that's cool.
	At least you know where I am and what i'm doing.
	Yeah, because we're out at our house um, and then he, then he went to a young life UH camp and that's where you turned your life around, right?
	Yeah, you basically forced me to go.
	I did, you paid me, I paid you.
	Well, I was working.
	Remember you were working.
	My mom is a hero, so she was working like multiple jobs.
	At a time she was.
	I can't remember what your day job was.
	You're working all day.
	You were a waitress at this bar in uh in Reeds, a restaurant, a restaurant.
	I didn't go that bar, but you also were a, but you had multiple jobs.
	On top of, at 3 a.m you would do a paper route in your car yeah, and so I would come with you because I was 15 and um, I didn't have a license yet, but I drove so much this is a tiny small town, you know you were so wiped out I would actually do the paper out and you would sleep at the back some nights because you're so wiped out from all the work you were doing to raise three boys.
	And uh, so I was.
	I appreciated the chunk of money you were giving me for that and I didn't want to miss a day of it because I wanted and so.
	But you wanted me to go on this week trip to a Woodleaf, so you gave me a paid vacation to go like you're trying to be no excuse, so you got, you got my relatives to help pay for the trip and then you paid me to go.
	Basically, it's a good choice.
	Yeah, you didn't want to go because your friend didn't want to go.
	Well yeah, I also hated those kind of things.
	I hate church camps and I hate.
	I always hated all that stuff.
	I really didn't want to go I and I loved it.
	I really did love it, which is weird because it was not something I would have envisioned myself loving.
	While we're on the teenager thing, Kyle, you look like you're you're about to say something.
	No, i'm not, i'm good.
	He always looked like that.
	Yeah, I always looked at him about to say something.
	I think was 15 when we flew to Washington Dc for a family trip.
	So the whole ride on the airplane.
	He let me know that we were making him go.
	So what Diane said over there just reminded me of this.
	So there's some commonalities going on here between you two.
	Yeah, I started citing my constitutional rights.
	Yeah, you are taking away my American freedoms.
	You're making me go.
	I can't believe you're making me go.
	So we get to the vacation.
	He has the best time of anybody yeah, has a great time, soaks it all up, and then the whole plane ride home.
	He said, I can't believe you took away My rights.
	You made me die.
	I am an American.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yes, my love for liberty runs deep.
	It comes from my teenage years and my oppressive parents.
	You know, I actually launched a protest one time.
	They tried to make me get braces.
	So you can see that I have this bottom tooth that like sticks out.
	They tried to get it fixed for me.
	And now do you wish you had?
	But I put up protest signs all over the house.
	Like all on the walls.
	I think I might have a one-up on that one.
	And he got it from me.
	We call it the Carver crowd.
	That's my media.
	Oh, you have it too.
	The Carver crowd because they're so crowded, all the teeth don't fit there.
	So I know I should have made you, but you were so passionate.
	And I'm like, well, it's a few thousand bucks.
	And he really doesn't want them.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we got that with braces on our hands.
	Where would we be today had I made you get them?
	Who knows?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Who knows?
	A few thousand bucks out.
	So when I was a kid, my mom was a hardcore.
	She made us do chores.
	I chopped wood every weekend because we used a wood stove for heating.
	We had this giant lawn that was like a steep vertical hill that we had to mow the lawn.
	So I was, I would, my biggest beef with mom was that she was a slave driver.
	She just make us work so much.
	So remember one week, weekend, I got so mad, what did I do?
	First, I did a cartoon.
	My computer was a looping animation.
	And it was of me and my brothers all in a, like, in a cage, I think.
	And then the animation just had tears running down our eyes.
	And then it showed you on a throne, like, laughing, just laughing maniacally.
	So you came in and found that.
	I just had it running on loop on the computer while we were doing our chores and you were laughing so hard at it.
	So then I got mad because I wanted you to be mad at it and not think it was funny.
	And then this is really bad.
	I'm going to admit it, but it's really bad.
	This is my sense of humor in high school.
	I thought this was funny.
	Don't read into it too deeply.
	The next animation I did was the cage is broken open and my mom is laying on the floor wiggling like this, like a cartoon character.
	And we all have guns and we're going to repeatedly shoot her.
	This is what gets you kicked out of school.
	Because I was going to school when the first school shooting started.
	Like I remember hearing about the one in Eugene.
	But yeah, me and my friends all joked like that.
	We all joked about shooting and stuff.
	Can't joke like that anymore.
	But she thought that was hilarious too, right?
	Were you disturbed?
	You know I was kidding.
	We didn't even have guns.
	Part of it made it funny to us is that we didn't even have guns.
	We didn't have a dad around that with, we just didn't have anybody with guns.
	I don't know if you had a gun when we were growing up, but I'd never even touched one until my friends from around, you know.
	So anyway, that was an anecdote.
	That was an anecdote.
	Everybody's disturbed now.
	Can we find this animation?
	No, that computer, I think, totally crashed.
	Sad.
	I did all these awesome Windy Fight animations.
	A real old computer.
	Yeah.
	But I worked on that thing like crazy.
	These hours of animation.
	Yeah.
	He was good at animation.
	So even though he did crazy things like that, I still encouraged it.
	I love that.
	I love the lack of overreactiveness to what she saw, to what you did, and admiring the creativity and the humor in it instead of focusing on violence is bad.
	That's a pretty good animation of me getting shot.
	If you saw the animation, you can see it was kind of, it was, I made it in a, it was funny animation, like, because the way you were on the ground, like wiggling, like as if it, like, you know, nobody would wiggle like that when they got shot.
	It was as if they were like flies getting at you.
	I made it silly.
	Try and cover up for it now.
	Try and justify yourself.
	All right.
	Well, I've got some, I found some tips for moms on the internet.
	Oh, really?
	And I want to see what you guys think.
	I want to get Diane and Diane's take.
	Okay.
	Mom and Diane's take on this.
	So, number one, stick to an early bedtime.
	Thumbs down.
	Thumbs down.
	What do you think?
	Thumbs up.
	Early bedtime for mom and early bedtime for kids.
	I would put him to bed early.
	Yeah, I think it was for the kids.
	Yeah.
	That's how I am.
	I get him to bed as soon as physically possible.
	So why are you answering early bedtime, mom?
	Even when he was like, just not very structured.
	So I think we got judged by some people when we were raising you that we didn't have you in bed at 7 p.m. every night, but we had fun.
	So yeah, unstructured was definitely our house.
	I don't mean that in a bad way.
	I noticed that with you guys, yeah, there's like a structure when I go to this house.
	I'm like, you guys are so casual.
	We were the fun house that like all the neighborhood kids, we didn't go to neighborhood kids' house.
	They all came to our house.
	We're going to go to the man's, and we'd have like a dozen kids in our house just running around.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	I think my mom would have gone insane.
	Oh, we did.
	We did an empire.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Yeah, a lot of kids hung out.
	There weren't that many kids in Lakeside.
	Yeah.
	These are both very small towns in Oregon for people.
	But yeah, Empire had a lot of people with stray children running everywhere.
	It was a lot of drugs.
	Once they had to be in school, we would do 8:30 or 9.
	Oh, okay.
	But as toddlers, it's like, well, no one's telling us where we have to be tomorrow.
	Let's play.
	Didn't I get up at like two in the morning and just start riding my bike around the house?
	Yeah, dad got up and you were on your big wheel in the hall.
	You gotta get out of the garage.
	Oh, no.
	All right.
	Another advice for moms: create mini traditions.
	What's that mean?
	I don't know.
	Mini or many?
	Mini.
	Mini.
	Like small, like little traditions.
	Like, I can think of one from our childhood.
	We have a special birthday plate.
	Birthday plate.
	I think we had a do we have a birthday plate?
	Every birthday, there's a plate that says you are special today.
	And they always said, oh, I'm not special every other day.
	We always complain about, oh, I'm only special today.
	That's part of the tradition is complaining about the birthday plate.
	Yeah, absolutely for that one.
	How about you, Diane?
	We didn't have a birthday plate, but we treated bunny cake every year.
	Bunny cake?
	Yeah.
	What's bunny cake?
	A bunny head.
	A bunny head cake.
	Oh, I don't even remember that.
	Yeah.
	Mainly surrounding.
	We had pizza on Fridays.
	I always remember pizza and movie nights on Fridays.
	And they just, yeah, I couldn't think of anything outside of holiday type of regular holiday stuff, Christmas tree, and things like that.
	So we're lukewarm on the tradition.
	Lukewarm.
	I wasn't absolutely.
	Well, you were what?
	I was absolutely for the mini traditions.
	Yeah.
	I'm trying to think of some more, though.
	I know we had a ton.
	In the summer, sometimes we did theme Thursday and there would be like a circus theme or your cousins would come over.
	Not Pinteresting at all.
	Oh, so we're supposed to name some of our mini traditions.
	I don't know.
	I mean, if you have any, I was just trying to think of some.
	It was always small things.
	Like, you know, when we were in soccer, it was like Burger King Thursdays.
	And we'd just go to Burger King.
	And it was just.
	And then we'd always compete to see who got the longest fry.
	That's when I was at Bible study.
	Dad would take you to Burger King.
	That was dad's thing.
	Yeah.
	See, we're taking all dad's stories.
	Or he did the, he would do the little trips where we would just drive around town and see where we ended up.
	If there was a storm, you guys would make a boat.
	Yeah, do the boats down the river, you know, all that stuff.
	Out of trash.
	And see, these are dad.
	These are Father's Day stories.
	We have to save them for Father's Day.
	Yes, yes.
	Take your kids on individual dates.
	Date your children.
	Date your children.
	Yes, yes.
	Yeah, that is a good thing if you can.
	You know, being a single mother, I think that's part of why we didn't have a lot of the little traditions.
	And I couldn't take them on individual dates.
	By the time I could, they didn't want to be with their mom.
	They wanted to be with their friends.
	So that didn't happen much.
	Yeah, I know the few times I've taken, like I took Eliza to Disneyland all by herself, and that's still one of those special memories we ever had.
	And then Lily took her to the Matilda play at a date night.
	And yeah, those are, it's so worth it to do it if you can do it.
	Took Ezra to medieval times.
	Yeah, the one-on-one, it's so manageable.
	You forget how nice it is to have kids when it's just one.
	Oh, wow, they're not all screaming at each other.
	It's like, yeah, because that's what they really want.
	They want it to be focused on.
	They need to learn in reality.
	They can't be focused on.
	But every once in a while, it just causes this sigh of relief when you can focus on them and they get what they wanted.
	And, you know, then we got to go back to reality.
	You're not the center of the world.
	They will remember that forever because my dad took me on a one-on-one once.
	And I never forgot that.
	I still think about it sometimes.
	Do you think that your kids would get the idea that like, yeah, I work hours and hours and all this time and all the money that you get, like it all comes from my wife.
	I focus on you a ton, but they don't really translate that until maybe when they're like much older.
	So it's good to.
	Yeah.
	We had some really good Sunday school teachers in our adult Sunday school class, Kyle's dad and I.
	And one of the best things that they said was to spend 15 minutes a day, which we didn't do it every day, but letting your kid just be a kid and letting him get an idea of what to do and then not making a teachable moment out of it, just following their idea and going with it.
	So as a teenager, Kyle, I told Kyle, I'll do whatever you want to do.
	And he had me drive backwards.
	I can't hear.
	He had me drive backwards through Taco Bell and order only guacamole.
	We were in that funny car of yours.
	Oh, in my beauty.
	But it was fun.
	You know, he got to get the idea and I just followed.
	I think about backing through a drive-through and it sounds hard.
	You did it.
	I'm sure I didn't do it.
	Oh, like, because the wheels turn on the back, and you got to like at that point, right?
	But I had one date with my dad as a little girl, one-on-one, and he had a milk route in the summers when he didn't teach summer school.
	And I got to get up like at 4 a.m. and go with him.
	And I was so excited and drank chocolate milk and got ill.
	And we had to go into this nice lady's home on his route.
	So he'd help me.
	Because that's how excited I was as one of six children to be one-on-one with my dad.
	So it is.
	Yeah.
	It is special.
	Yeah.
	It's tummy ache special sometimes.
	Uh, allow your kids to fail, definitely, deaf.
	I don't know, I'd rather stop them from failing myself, but really, yeah, they're gonna fail somewhere.
	I think it's like as they get older, right?
	As they get when you see them about to fall off the side of a building when they're small, they're sticking the fork in the light socket.
	You stop them when they're 15 and they're gonna spend their money on something dumb.
	You can let you let them.
	We were on a dock, and my brother Noah's like playing on the edge really high up.
	And this fisherman friend of his is like, you know, Tom, your boy's playing right there on the edge, he's gonna fall off.
	My dad goes, not the way he'll learn.
	Next thing you know, he's gone.
	He fell all the way down.
	Oh, man.
	It just knocked the wind out of him, luckily.
	But yeah, thankfully, the tide wasn't in.
	Yeah, because it was, yeah, where if the tide was in, he would have gone into the ocean.
	Yeah, that's the school of hard knocks.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well, like when a toddler, you know, uh, wants to touch something hot, you keep telling them it's hot, hot, hot.
	They don't understand.
	You have to let them get burned a little bit.
	Yeah.
	Not bad, but a little bit.
	So then they understand hot.
	Yeah.
	They got to know what they're avoiding.
	Yeah.
	I say yes to that too to let them fail.
	But then I'm trying to think what is fail.
	And I can't really think of examples.
	It's probably like trying to learn by ride your bike and got to crash a couple times or fall down, you know?
	Sure.
	Well, and then their teenage years like dating, yeah, getting hurt, dumping the phone.
	Yeah.
	I think you guys were of the allow your kids to fail philosophy.
	Not in a bad way, but yeah.
	Yeah, fail just sounds so final.
	Yeah, I mean, fall and get back up again.
	Yes.
	Have a family meal together every night.
	This is the last one I got.
	Yeah.
	It's good to have like a check-in, right?
	I guess I feel like there's so much pressure to do the family meal together every night.
	Sometimes we're like, you know what?
	Make yourself some cereal.
	I think that's okay too.
	Yeah.
	Personally.
	Yeah, we ate together most of the time.
	But then when everybody got older and got jobs, it's impossible because people were working, you know.
	The older the kids get, the harder it is to get everybody to get together, right?
	Yeah.
	I'm not proudly on our part.
	We did the Wednesday night 20 burgers for $5 at McDonald's.
	Wow.
	It used to be like 30 cents or something.
	Yeah.
	Drive-through on the way to Iwana.
	And now I eat so healthy.
	I'm like, oh my goodness.
	Did I really do that?
	Yeah.
	Dad would pull us through and 30 burgers, 20 burgers, whatever.
	Well, my sister's husband, he's really cheap.
	He's known for being cheap.
	And he would have each kid go in and buy 20 burgers and then freeze them.
	Wow.
	That's pretty good.
	Yeah, we went to McDonald's on Wednesday nights, too.
	We ate inside.
	And it was a family meal together, right?
	It counts.
	Yeah, that was.
	It was.
	Yeah.
	Food, folks, and fun.
	That totally counts.
	All right.
	Just some of the worst moments raising us.
	Just give us a few little stories here.
	Well, this is the worst.
	It could be two-year-old vomited up something.
	Could be teenager crashed the car.
	What is it?
	What do you think?
	Some of the worst stories.
	Embarrassing.
	My mom's looking at me thoughtfully.
	I made this mistake.
	Well, maybe it wasn't a mistake, but I've always assuming the very best of them.
	So now that the kids are older, these stories come out.
	If you're finding out retroactively, like he was letting his sister drive when she was, what, 13?
	I don't know.
	Yeah.
	Seems I would have never thought.
	I taught my sisters to drive, or one of them when I was when I had my Buick, we'd just go to the parking lot and letter drive around in circles.
	He's 13.
	You're what?
	And I was 16?
	Yeah, 17.
	Anything else you want to admit to your mother now?
	Jeez.
	Yeah, we were little hooligans sometimes, but it was always very PG hooligans.
	We were PG hooligans, I think.
	You weren't a crack dealer or anything.
	No, no, no.
	But like in high school, we would go jump.
	We would go jump the fence at the apartment complex down the street and go swimming at the pool there.
	I don't think we ever told you that.
	Not my child.
	You know, but it's like, whatever.
	What else did we do?
	What about breaking stuff or just like getting into stuff?
	There was a pepper shaker I kept buying from Pampered Chef, but somehow Kyle was the one to break it.
	Just kept breaking it.
	I didn't want to make him feel bad about it, but now I probably just did.
	It was like the grinder, right?
	Yeah.
	Oh, the grinder.
	They don't sell it anymore.
	And I kept like, oh, give me the pepper.
	And I just, I snapped it a few times.
	But I was a real hooligan.
	The challenge, I wouldn't say trouble, but the challenge was he would have big ideas that I couldn't quite fulfill.
	So he'd say, Mom, I want to make a helicopter.
	And I'd go get some construction paper and glue and scissors.
	No, I want to make a real helicopter.
	So I always felt a little inadequate to four or five to meet those creative needs.
	Yeah.
	That was challenging.
	You got one or two or three.
	The worst thing I could think of was when you threw that piano bench at me when you were in high school.
	You got mad.
	I don't know how to do it.
	You wouldn't let me go to a concert.
	It may have been the Weird L concert.
	I can't remember if it was the Weird Al concert.
	No, I think it was one of those local rock concerts.
	And I don't know why I wouldn't let you go.
	I did something bad.
	I think I got myself grounded.
	And when you let me go to the concert, I did.
	These were the bad days of fighting.
	We fought a lot.
	We all fought.
	It was like a house of fighting for like three or four years there when we were all like in high school.
	We were in like the most volatile ages, junior high through high school.
	And yeah, I lobbed a piano bench at my mother and she dodged it.
	And then she, I think she fake called the police.
	I don't know if you actually did, but I thought you didn't.
	You started throwing my stuff out on the lawn, letting me know that I was going to be kicked out.
	Then I was, then I started pleading.
	So, yeah.
	And here I am today after throwing a piano bench at your mother and you survived.
	I survived.
	She survived.
	You survived.
	Jeez.
	And she's smiling.
	Yeah, we can all laugh about it now.
	Yeah.
	Remember that night when you got so mad you threw a burrito against the wall?
	Oh, yeah.
	I meant to throw it in the trash.
	They didn't hit the wall.
	It hit the wall above the trash can.
	Like, slides down in the cartoon.
	No, it stayed there.
	And we were all so mad.
	We're yelling and screaming.
	And she slammed the burrito against the wall.
	She's tired of it.
	And it hits the wall and it was like a perfect burrito against the wall.
	And behind it was like its guts splattered everywhere.
	And it was just stuck right there like a work of art.
	And it was so funny the way it hit the wall that we just all started laughing.
	And it was like the fight was over because the burrito was so funny.
	I'm trying to think.
	I don't think we have any violent stories.
	You had a father there to stop you.
	Vaulting, like throwing, throwing things.
	Like, I remember getting mad at Ryan.
	Ryan punched me once, but I'm thinking about the parents.
	Like, we never like, we never.
	You never fought with your siblings?
	We fought with our siblings, but we'd never punch each other.
	Really?
	My mom was like, my parents were like adamant.
	Like, if you started to hit, it was like, you're done, you know.
	Yeah, I had this thing that home was a safe place.
	The world is hard out there, but at home, we're going to be safe.
	And they pretty much, I can't believe, like, to have two boys that really didn't beat the daylights out of each other.
	One time I did say, if you want to hit each other, go ahead.
	And I put you in a room and I shut the door.
	And you guys just started laughing.
	We're like, what are you going to let us hit each other?
	We'll just start laughing.
	Do it.
	We just have to laugh.
	As far as throwing things and all that, I remember saying there's a good way and a not good way to express your anger.
	I never really went farther to express what the good way is.
	I remember telling you, you can't bite your brother, but you can say you feel like biting your brother.
	So I was on the landline phone once talking with someone.
	You picked up the phone.
	You're two or three.
	Mom, I feel like biting my brother.
	So I told her.
	So then I would have you bite a pillow, but I still don't know quite what to do with anger, but yeah, we didn't have the big bullets of throwing stuff, but I guess not.
	I called you guys a name one time.
	I said, shut your fat little faces and you won't ever let me forget it.
	She never, okay, my mom never cussed, never said bad words, nothing like that.
	And yeah, one time we're fighting or whatever, and she just goes, You shut your fat little faces.
	And we're just like, my low moment.
	It was like dead silence.
	Like, mom just called us a name.
	What did we do?
	That's hilarious.
	Yeah, and to this day, we still bring that up because it was the only outburst.
	Oops.
	I had to get up and now I've lost you.
	Oh, can you hear us?
	Yeah, I can hear you.
	You want to take the rest of the subscriber portion?
	We'll do some embarrassing stories.
	Yeah, let's do it.
	And do we have anything else we're going to try to do for the we have some fun artwork?
	Oh, yeah, we got some of Kyle.
	Oh, yeah, that's what it was.
	Kyle has a joke book that he wrote as a child.
	And we're going to read it.
	I want to read some of that.
	How old was I when I wrote this joke book?
	You dictated it to me.
	So you must have been like three.
	And she had it.
	My mom is a court reporter, and she had a typewriter and she would type.
	Was this on the typewriter or the court reporting movie?
	This was typewriter.
	Okay, yeah.
	So she would see that.
	She typed this up.
	The funniest joke book you ever heard of, written by Kyle Mann.
	So I'm excited to read these.
	So we're going to see some real jokes here.
	All right.
	So bonus subscribers, you get to see all Kyle's embarrassing old artwork and some embarrassing stories from Kyle and Ethan's past.
	That's right.
	A few theological thoughts from Kyle as a young man.
	All right.
	I'm going to evaluate them now.
	All right.
	Let's do it.
	Let's do it.
	Well, that was touching and moving.
	Very moving.
	Although a lot of the touching, moving was in the subscriber portion.
	The subscriber portion had some of the best stuff.
	We read some of my old joke book and all my old stuff.
	My mom talked about peeing in my ears.
	It was pretty fantastic.
	We had some special moments.
	No, some moments.
	Moments.
	Tearing up.
	A little bit of tearing up.
	Eh?
	Moments?
	Yeah.
	Moments.
	Yeah.
	Got it.
	All right.
	So we're going to do some hate mail now.
	Let's do some hey man.
	So we wrote an article, Trump refuses to let Jesus in his heart after learning he's from Nazareth.
	Because he's like, okay, this was when he was talking about all those countries and he called them flowerbed hole countries.
	And it's like, yeah, can anything good come from Nazareth?
	Yeah.
	And so we got someone replying to our newsletter who was very upset about it.
	Very upset.
	So, mom, would you like to read hate mail towards your kids?
	What's the protocol?
	Whoa, bleep.
	For the donkey word.
	Your dumb donkey article about Trump just confirms what a bunch of Babylon Baptist buttheads you really are.
	Hiding behind a computer like the limp-wristed, spineless jellyfish morons you certainly are.
	Mom, do you have any words for the person that wrote this to your son?
	Ouch.
	I love the just the alliteration of it.
	It sounds like Daffy Duck.
	What a bunch of Babylon baptized buttheads.
	I've never heard my mom say buttheads before.
	So that was funny.
	Yeah, that was funny.
	You could hear her hesitate before she said it.
	I did say butt once when he was a kid.
	And when Brent got home from hockey, there was a note signed by all the children saying, dear dad, mom said, but.
	Signed by everybody.
	But we actually say it now.
	So it was okay.
	I witnessed it.
	Wow.
	You were telling us before that you saw a comment on the Babylon Bee that said, whoever wrote this has issues with their mother or something.
	Yeah, they're trying to work out what they didn't get emotionally from their mother when they were young.
	And it was Kyle who wrote it.
	It's so hard on people who love you guys.
	Mom, you're not supposed to read the comments.
	That's like the number one rule.
	Those are people I really worry about, though, that they go as personal as possible onto a stranger on a comment on Twitter.
	It's like, you got problems.
	Yeah, like they have to go that deep.
	Like they were trying to cut as deep as they can into some strange person they never met.
	It's very strange.
	Yeah.
	People need, you need help.
	You need help.
	So we did it.
	We did our first filmed episode.
	Right.
	Is this it?
	Yeah.
	Is that all the hate mail you got?
	I was trying to picture what a limp wristed, spineless jellyfish moron would look like because they don't have wrists.
	I could try to draw it.
	But it's like.
	Yeah, like something.
	Limp wristed.
	Spineless.
	This needs to be the thumbnail for the jellyfish.
	Okay, but seeing this Jerusalem, was this something about Nazareth?
	Okay.
	It reminds me that right when your Babylon Bee book came out, I got to travel to Jerusalem and I took it into the Dead Sea and I held it.
	That was not easy.
	It's a really muddy.
	The Babylon Bee book has been read in the Dead Sea.
	Wow.
	Well, I floated it.
	You floated while I held it.
	And then I had a because you floated it, right?
	Because it's like salt.
	Yeah.
	And then I had an idea for a Babylon Bee story that I texted to Kyle.
	Ignored?
	Yeah.
	It was something like all these tours get stopped because everybody has to stop and read this amazing book.
	I don't know.
	I see.
	Yeah.
	I can't remember.
	It's hard to do the meta jokes about the Babylon.
	But I was actually the first one to order the book.
	My mom was very supportive.
	She threw a party the day the book was.
	Oh, it was fun.
	Wow.
	It was fun.
	Made him baked a bee kick.
	I think my parents are so they've been through it enough times with me that they're just like, oh, he's dealing with whatever this new thing is he's doing.
	Yeah.
	We'll get there.
	Yeah.
	I got to publish a few more books and then it'll be like, eh.
	So is that all the hate mail?
	We just had to win.
	We won a week.
	If we get one really good one like that.
	Do you ever think of doing something with the comic, the comments?
	Sometimes our hate mail will be comments.
	That counts as hate mail.
	I think we do love mail sometimes.
	And sometimes we, yeah.
	Nice, nice mail.
	So can I just say that none of your things really offend me?
	Not even the thing about growing up in a Christian bubble.
	Oh, that went okay a little bit, but the literal bubble, that was funny.
	So there's enough funny in it that I don't get offended.
	But the only time I get really upset is when you make fun of Chris Tallman.
	I feel so defensive about him.
	He can cry into his millions of dollars going to leave him and he rewrote.
	I don't know why I have such a soft spot for Chris Tomlin.
	And have you ever heard from him?
	Has he ever when I was working in El Cajon?
	He was down the street at the, what are the guitars that are made down there?
	Taylor?
	I think Taylor's made down there.
	And he was down the street at the factory touring and he took like a selfie and I was like, I should run over there.
	And I never did.
	That's my that's the closest I ever got to Chris Tomlin.
	Maybe he was seeing you and trying to get you in the song.
	Yeah, he has never shared the Babylon B article, so I think he's a little hard on him.
	We are kind of harsh.
	We haven't done the.
	But he's decided to be the guy that butchers him.
	So here I stand.
	We can do no other.
	He ruined Joey to the world.
	I cracked a funny that Kyle did LOL with.
	I was at a Chris Tomlin concert.
	Is that funny?
	Well, I texted Kyle before I put this on Facebook to make sure it was funny.
	So he's, if Kyle thinks it's funny, I just feel so good.
	So I said, I'm at a Chris Tomlin concert.
	That's where I am.
	And so I texted him and I got the thumbs up and the LOL, and he thought it was pretty good.
	So that went on Facebook.
	Got a lot of likes and loves.
	I do what I can.
	I'm a humor consultant on the side.
	All right, everybody.
	Well, we have done it.
	We have talked to our mothers.
	We have covered the news.
	And you are now informed.
	Yes.
	So thank you for joining us.
	And if this is your first time watching our YouTube show, there's a ton of old episodes that are audio you can hear.
	But this is the first time you can see us, and we're going to keep it going.
	If you want to see the full episode, you're going to find out how.
	So thanks for watching.
	Goodbye.
	The rest of this podcast is in our super exclusive premium subscriber lounge.
	If you're not a Babylon Bee subscriber, go to BabylonB.com/slash plans for full-length ad-free podcasts.
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	Please drop us a review on iTunes and share the podcast with a friend.
	Feedback and love mail go to podcast at Babylonbee.com.
	Follow Ethan at AxCop and Kyle at the underscore Kyle underscore man on Twitter.
	Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.

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