All Episodes
Previous
Dec. 15, 2025 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:15:33
Adventures in HellwQrld Presents: Failed Gerrymandering, Trump Health, The Beach Ball Incident

This week Mike, Eric, and Steph talk about the GOP's failed effort to gerrymander in the Hoosier state. We go over more troubling signs about Trump's health and Mike opens the show explaining exactly why Shirley Manson freaked out about beach balls. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

|

Time Text
The Adventures in Hell World podcast talks in depth about QAnon.
While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Raines, aka Poker and Politics, and welcome to another scintillating episode of Adventures in Hell World.
This week, I'm joined by Eric, the Deep State Operative.
That's right.
I'm here.
And once again, I've failed to think of anything clever before Mike stopped talking.
And I'm also joined by Steph.
Hi, I also failed to think of anything clever to say.
It's going to be a great episode.
You can just feel the high energy from my co-hosts.
Rip roaring and ready to engage.
And because I also feel that viewer, guess what?
We're getting grossly self-indulgent right now.
Fiddlesticks to everything else that's going on in this world.
I need to talk about my stupid band and the stupid controversy that happened recently because boy, howdy, is it dumb.
And it's broken containment.
Every garbage video I look at on YouTube, if you go under new, like the top 50 replies are all comments about beach balls and Shirley Nansen being a crazy bitch.
And if you don't know what I'm talking about, God bless you.
It's much like QAnon.
This is, I don't know, Shirlinon, and it's very silly.
But basically, this is a thing that I have known about for a long time.
In wrestling, there's this thing called going into business for yourself, which you're fighting a dude and you're supposed to make him look good, but then you say to yourself, fuck that shit.
And you make yourself look good because you want to impress the crowd.
You want to get your shit in.
Well, in the wrestling world and in other contexts, crowds like to go into business for themselves.
They like to start doing dumb chants that don't have anything to do with the match.
They like to just do everything to entertain themselves.
And when you're at a concert, one of those things is throwing beach balls around and just like sort of having a gay old time just batting that ball around the crowd.
And like a million years ago, I was at a garbage concert and the opening band, I think, was like Boys Against Girls.
My senility may or may not have caught up with me.
And they actually threw an inflatable whale into the crowd and we beat the shit out of that thing and we knocked it around.
And eventually people figured out there was like stickers and bumper stickers and other merch on the whale and they like tore the thing to pieces getting the merch off of it.
And the band laughed because they were like, oh, usually people figure out there's merch in that thing a lot quicker than that.
So the whale lasted a long time.
But at that crowd, at that concert after the whale, there were beach balls involved.
And at some point, Shirley had a fit and basically told people, I find that incredibly disrespectful.
You paid a ticket to watch us perform.
Do not fucking bat around beach balls and entertain yourselves like a bunch of chumps.
Watch the band that you paid for, please.
And thank you.
And crowd cheered for this.
And we all sided with Shirley against the beach balls because that's what you do when you're at a garbage concert and they're your band and so on.
So fast forward to a million years later.
And the same thing happens, but it's at a festival in Australia where there's lots of bands taking the stage and garbage might not be your cup of tea.
They're an old band from the 90s.
What kid, what person under the age of 30 cares about them?
Probably nobody.
So what happened was the crowd's batting around a bunch of beach balls.
Shirley gives her speech.
It doesn't go over well.
So now she's trapped in this negative feedback loop of me crushing the beach ball prick didn't get me a pop.
What's going on here?
So she starts doubling down and getting really angry about this stuff.
And that doesn't work.
And then it goes viral and she becomes the villain.
And it's hilarious because I just think that this is a thing that just happens when you don't control the crowd the way you think you did.
Like this is literal crush a heckler 101 shit for a comic.
And every time you watch like YouTube videos, comic destroys heckler.
It's just the guy crushes the heckler.
The crowd pops huge.
The heckler gets thrown out and everyone's like, comic, comic.
And the comic, yeah, that's right.
I crushed that heckler.
And I really think that's what she thought was going to happen here.
And it didn't.
And it freaked her out.
And then this led to a spiral.
And at the end of the day, this is a 48-hour news cycle event.
It will come and go.
She's already laughed at herself and posted videos on Instagram about quote unquote a bad bitch with a beach ball and all that kind of stuff.
But it's really funny.
It's really funny to me that you think you have control of a crowd.
You've done this.
You've done this beach ball shtick probably 50 times in your life and then it bombs and you don't know how to react to it bombing when it's always worked before.
And now that you're out of your, you're out over your skis and you don't know what to do.
It just, you crash and you burn.
So that was, that's basically my take on the whole thing.
It's really much ado about nothing, but people are like, this crazy bitch is worried about beach balls.
It's like, no, it's about like caring about the performer that's performing for you and actually not like just fucking blowing them off to entertain yourself.
That was the actual thing that she was trying to convey, but no one wants to hear that.
And no one wants to hear me talk about this kind of stuff.
But we have nothing but rehash bullshit for news this week.
So I got to fill this hour somehow.
And here I am doing some jazz hands and talking about garbage.
I did it.
That's six minutes of pot in the can, baby.
Woo!
Score.
So yeah.
All right.
Thank you all for listening.
Five-star review, wherever you listen to Podcast.
Yeah, exactly.
Patreon.com.
The greatest episode ever.
People log on seven minutes.
What the fuck?
And be like, yeah, you get nothing this week because God, God, do we have so little?
Oh, man.
But yeah, we might as well start with the breaking news because why not?
Because this is a little bit of excitement and a little slice of joy in this world.
So if you didn't hear about this little like incident going on, which I don't know why you would have, because God, you have to be in the weeds for this shit.
But basically, Indiana was pondering gerrymandering their house map to a 9-0 GOP majority instead of a 7-2 GOP majority, trying to shave two house seats off the Democrats.
And of course, Trump being a lunatic maximalist who wants everything to go absolutely the way he wants it to go, threw a fit and posted on Truth Social, quote, I love the state of Indiana and have won it, including primaries, six times, all by massive majorities.
Importantly, it now has a chance to make a difference in Washington, D.C. in regard to the number of house seats we have that are necessary to hold the majority against the radical left Democrats.
Every other state has done redistricting willingly, openly, and easily.
There was never a question in their minds that contributing to a win, all caps, he wanted to make that win pop in the midterms for the Republicans was a great thing to do for our party and for America itself.
In all fairness, Democrats have been doing redistricting for years and continue to do so.
Unfortunately, Indiana Senate quote-unquote leader Rod Bray enjoys being one of the only person, being the only person in the United States of America who is against Republicans picking up extra seats.
In Indiana's case, two of them.
He is putting every ounce of his limited strength into asking his soon-to-be very vulnerable friends to vote with him.
By doing so, he is putting the majority of the House of Representatives, Washington, D.C., at risk, at the same time, putting anyone in Indiana who votes against redistricting likewise at risk.
The people of Indiana don't want the party of sleepy Joe Biden, Kamala, Ilan Omar, or the rest to succeed in Washington.
Bray doesn't care.
He's either a bad guy or very stupid.
By the way, the fact that we've removed the limit on characters on Truth Social so Trump can just write a fucking stem winder.
I mean, my God.
I'm going to have to do an ad break while I eat a lunch to recover and gather some more strength to finish this thing up.
Holy shit.
Bray doesn't care.
Either he's a bad guy or a very stupid one.
In any event, he and a couple of his friends will partner with the radical left Democrats.
They found some Republican suckers in quotes with an end all caps.
Very weird.
And they couldn't be happier that they did.
Guys like failed Senate candidate Mitch Daniels, who I opposed in his race against Senator Jim Banks, and Cab Savage, whoever that is.
Oh, oh, oh, I don't even who the you hit him with the Connor McGregor.
Who the fuck is that guy?
Oh, Burn.
Oh, sick burn.
I want to let you all know.
I've said all this shit that I've said, and I'm scrolling through this thing.
I have not gotten to the bottom of this post yet.
There's so much more to read.
Oh, man.
I remember a million years ago, back before Alzheimer's bit our boy and turned him into the drooling slob that he is now.
That when Twitter went to 280 characters instead of 140, as was its original design, Trump expressed outrage because he thought he was very good at busting out a tight 140-character tweet.
And now, and now every crumb bum alive could do a 280 tweet.
So it kind of robbed him of his special talent.
And now this thing is like a 5,000-word novella that he's writing on social media.
It's like, oh, my God.
Anyhow, are fighting against the Republican Party all the way.
Bray and his friends are the favorite Republicans of Hakeem Jeffries, crazy Nancy Pelosi, and crying Chuck Schumer.
Anyone that votes against redistricting and the success of the Republican Party in D.C. will be, I am sure, met with a MAGA primary in the spring.
If Republicans do not want his net, do not, if they do not do what is necessary to save our country, they will eventually lose everything to the Democrats.
Rod Bray and his friends won't be in politics for long, and I will do everything in my power to make sure they do not hurt our country.
The Republican Party or our country again.
One of my favorite states in Indiana will be the only state in the Union to turn the Republican Party down.
And that was the first one.
The sad thing was, I thought that was the juicy one that he posted, which I'm going to now have to go find because Jesus Christ, that was so much.
Trump Indiana threat.
Go ahead.
Were you going to say something, Eric?
Me?
No.
No, I was just leaning forward, listening to you with bated breath.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, I had the same thought too about how he used to be like, I'm the king of the of the 140 character tweet.
Now he's like, yeah, and now he's like freaking, you know, AN Rand writing John Galt's speech that lasts 85 pages.
That's out there, you know, for the five people listening to this podcast who know who Ann Rand is.
Yes.
Okay, so the Heritage Foundation posted a threat from Donald Trump to defund Indiana if it doesn't pass the gerrymander.
President Trump has made it clear to Indiana leaders, if the Indiana Senate fails to pass the map, all federal funding will be stripped from the state, adding roads will not be paved, guard bases will close, major projects will start, will stop.
These are the stakes and every no vote is to blame.
God, I wish I had read that first because that would have been a lot quicker and more to the point than Grandpa's rambling diadribe about how much he hates the Indiana Senate not going along with the gerrymander.
But yeah.
Yeah, somebody slipped some ketamine in his Cheerios this morning.
Something.
It's fucking something.
But yeah.
So that was the giant piss-filled ramblings of our boy Donald Trump.
The leader of the free world.
Leader of the free world.
The guy the American people elected in a popular vote victory.
In the greatest landslide in human history.
Oh, God.
Makes Washington getting every single vote look like a pansy.
Yes.
Oh, all of it.
All of it.
I mean, it is insane that this happened.
But yeah, the Indiana Senate rejected him.
They told him to go piss up a rope.
They told him to go fuck off.
And they did not pass the they did not pass the rigged map, the rigged and stolen map, as Trump would say, were he to talk about it.
The bill failed.
31 to 19 voted against it.
And plenty of Republicans voted against it.
So this is where we're at.
And it is kind of interesting because it seems like it seems like old Donnie's losing his grip.
That's the thing that's really interesting about it.
Yeah, it's really interesting that the Republican Party decided not to go along with this.
Now, the one thing I do wonder about it is, were they worried that this might actually be what is known in the industry as a dummy mander, where you set it up to rig it, but you actually backfire and you give more seats to the other party because you diluted your own voting pools so much that it was easier to tip it.
Because the thing is, gerrymandering is a science.
People have figured out ways to rig elections for quite some time now.
And if the 7-2 map was a map where like every Republican wins by 15 points, then you give the Democrats two seats and you call it a day.
If the 9-0 map was a map where like four or five Republicans only win by seven points, guess what?
Wave election hits, people are really fucking pissed off.
Suddenly, Democrats win four seats in the House.
And it's like, oh, shit, what the hell is this?
There's no perfect way to do this where you make sure that you have prevented the other side from winning.
And that's that's going to be the big question with like the Texas redistricting, which I know they're still fighting about in the courts and stuff.
But if they do go through with it, will the Texas map actually yield what they think it's going to yield or will it end up backfiring on them?
Because spoiler alert, Republicans are going to be very unpopular in 2026.
It's not going to go well for them.
So, yeah, this is very, this is going to be very interesting to see how it all shakes out.
But I wonder if maybe like, you know, if Marjorie kind of like kind of going again, she's, she's not, she's still right wing, but I think Marjorie kind of going against like the MAGA shit now and like speaking out against like Trump and stuff like that.
I wonder, I hope in some way that that's giving other people some courage to to kind of go against Trump, like even the Republicans.
Like, look, I know Marjorie's a bitch and I don't like her politics at all, but I do like the fact that she has principles and that she stood by the Epstein people.
And I like the fact that whether it's genuine or not, I don't think she's really sorry, but I think her anger towards Trump is genuine.
And I kind of hope that this might inspire other people to kind of be like, this is bullshit.
I'm just, I'm just a right-winger.
I'm not MAGA.
You know, right-wingers are easier to deal with than MAGA because MAGA is more like, you know, a cult.
Yeah.
And going back to what I was saying, because with the Epstein thing, it's like that was like another sign that he's that he doesn't have the iron grip he had before because now he had to run up there and say, oh, no, no, no, no, it's okay to vote in Epstein so that when hundreds of Republicans voted for Epstein, it didn't look like, you know, a massive route against him.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that was 100% why he was like, vote yes on the Epstein thing.
I totally want you to.
That thing was 24 hours ago to never vote on.
Yeah, I'm cool with it now.
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
Because he knew if he banged the table and said, vote no, that he wasn't going to get that.
He knew it was going to be a huge wave of defections and it was going to look really bad for him.
So yeah, it's not great.
It was not great.
And this is, I mean, this is the thing that's really interesting is the whole slow fading into lean duck status for Trump that I don't know how he's going to deal with it.
I don't know how QAnon's going to deal with it.
Just the fact that we're reaching the end point of Donald Trump's influence over our politics is something that a lot of people are now having to come to grips with and what that means for their grifting careers, for America in general, all of it.
There's just so much going on that's been tied to this one guy.
And now that one guy is going to leave the national stage within three years, basically.
Like he is not going to be relevant for much longer.
I've said this before on the pod.
And so everyone, you can take a nap if you want to come back in 10 minutes.
I'll be okay.
But after the 2026 midterms, it's going to be really interesting to see what happens because the Democrats are not going to, the wheel's going to keep spinning on our side of the aisle.
The Democrats are going to start declaring for president.
And does Trump just say, Vance is my boy?
I hope he wins.
Does Trump say, let's have an open competitive Republican primary and see how that goes?
Or does Trump say, fuck everyone, illegal third term.
Woo!
I mean, and I mean, for me, personally, I'm all for team illegal third term because they would be such a train wreck and such a shit show that it would just be, it would be hilarious.
But I also am on team Trump will not make it through his term due to health issues.
So Operation Illegal third term is not going to happen.
But boy howdy, if it did, it would be hilarious.
And I've actually seen some people talking about that online saying like these kinds of things, like Marjorie turning on him, the Epstein vote, Indiana telling him to go piss him a rope on the gerrymandering.
Like these things may make him decide, fuck, I'm going to go Operation Illegal third term because I want to like put my, make everyone know that I still have an iron grip on this party, that I'm going to force you people into accepting my illegal effort to run for president again and just start an all-out Republican civil war between people that are going to back that illegal move and people who are going to be like, look, love you, Donnie, but not in love with you.
Call me later.
I'll catch, I'll talk to you soon, but not anytime soon, soon.
So yeah, I think that's going to be very interesting how that all shakes out and how the coping mechanism of all the Trump dead enders is going to hit as they as they watch Orange Grandpa slowly fade into the sunset.
And I'm also kind of wondering about Texas because it seems like it's like they're like, yes, we're going to gerrymander.
No, we're not going to gerrymander.
Yes, we're going to gerrymander.
So like the Supreme Court was like, was all like, you could do it as long as it's political and not racial.
And this is like, oh, it's 100% racial.
And the Supreme Court's like, okay, fine, we'll do it anyway.
Even though you said you're doing the thing we said you can't do, we're still going to let it happen.
Well, that's our beloved Supreme Court.
I mean, boy howdy had a couple arguments with some people recently.
And it's like, you know, none of this shit would have happened if we had all Pokemon go to the polls in 2016 and just gotten Hillary over the finish line.
Like life would be so much better if that happened.
And they're just like, Hillary sucked.
And I'm like, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is if she won, things would be a lot better.
And they're like, blame her for it.
I'm like, no, I will not blame her for it.
I will blame the people that were telling people to write in Harambe because this election didn't really matter.
And it was fun.
And do whatever you want.
And guess what?
Every election has consequences.
Every election has stakes.
And if you don't want to accept what those stakes are, that is a you problem.
That is not a candidate's problem.
And if a candidate says, vote for me or the other guy is going to get to appoint a lot of people to the Supreme Court.
And then you tell that candidate, go piss up a rope, Hillary.
I don't care.
Then when the Supreme Court goes to the bad guys for a generation, you can't be like, damn it, that bitch, Hillary.
If only she had warned me about SCOTUS.
And it's like, she did.
And you told her to fuck off and you wrote in Harambe.
So I don't know what you wanted her to do.
I don't know what, I don't know what tummy rub you wanted her to give you.
And then, and then rinse and repeat for 2024, because it was the same thing.
All these people were like, how come, how come Kamala Harris didn't warn us this would happen?
And then they're like, we did warn you what would happen.
And she's like, yeah, but you didn't convince me.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, you had to sell me better on this.
And it's just, yay, you had agency.
You had agency.
You could make this decision.
And you and so many others wanted to touch this hot stove.
So, hey, you did it.
Congratulations.
I actually had someone quote tweet me and say that I'm the guy that was touching the hot stove, which made me cackle malevolently.
A, because I love it when people quote tweet me when I'm having a, when I'm having a conversation with them, because they're trying to pull the conversation off the timeline they're currently on and onto their own timeline where their bros can gang up on you.
They want you to play a road game if you want to keep fighting them.
And B, it's just like, buddy, I'm the one wearing the oven mitt.
I'm the one who's always had the oven mitt on.
I am so against touching hot stoves.
It's crazy.
And so don't you dare, don't you ever tell me that I'm about the hot stove because I am the voter.
How dare you, sir?
Yes.
But I'm saying, like, like, yeah, I got on Twitter around 2018.
If you look at my 2020 timeline, I am like riding with Biden all day every day.
2024, I'm just, I just fell out of a coconut tree.
I love myself some Kamala.
And guess what?
In 2028, whoever the Democrat is, I'm going to say it with my chest that you need to vote for them.
There will be no ambiguity in how I feel and where I stand.
And then my favorite part about all these arguments I have with these people is they're like, hey, I voted for Kamala or I voted for Hillary.
And it's like, it's so weird how you people hate these candidates, but you always found the way to vote for them, even though you hated them.
So strange how you're like, don't blame me.
I did vote, even though I worked very hard to demoralize people and encourage them not to vote for this person and so on and so forth.
And it's just like, like, I, it's the, um, like the definition of like consensual sex is enthusiastic consent.
Not, not begrudging, not arm twist.
No, enthusiastic.
I want to do that.
And that's, that's where I'm at when it comes to politics and elections is that you got, you got to be, you got to put your back into it.
You got to be fired up.
And I, again, I've said it many times.
I thought that Gavin Newsom's missteps right after Trump won, where he was palling around with Charlie Kirk and Steve Binnen and all that shit.
Stupid, awful, fucking misreading the room hardcore.
But Newsom's throwing punches now.
And guess what?
He wins the nomination.
Boom.
Being of pure light that has never done a wrong, never made a misstep in his life.
The greatest American hero we've ever had.
So yeah, it's just that because the worst of us is better than the best of theirs.
There is no Democrat worse than any Republican.
They're all dog shit.
They're all monsters.
Our side is busy arguing like NIMBY versus Yimby and energy policies and immigration and all this kind of stuff.
And their side is arguing how publicly do we support Hitler?
And are demons real?
Like Benny Johnson, everyone was joking that his wife caught the videos of his latest cruise where he was making out with dudes because Benny Johnson had a post where he's like, demonic possession is real.
Like, like pronounce the name of Christ and protect yourself.
And it's like, Benny, don't think it was the demons that made you make out that guy.
I think it's the fact that you're closeted and you just want, you need to accept it.
Live your truth, Benny.
That's what Satan wants you to think.
And yeah, that's the, and Tucker Carlson's done interviews where he got clawed by a demon.
Yeah, I was going to read that up.
Like, yeah, didn't he admit, like, at the same interview that his dog sleeps in bed with him?
Yes.
So, yeah, yeah.
But, but, but, but no, it was the demon.
That little, you know, that little roll.
Not Fluffy, not Fluffy or Wolverine or whatever his name was.
It wasn't his doggo that gave him a little scratch.
Was a demon.
I love that the demon was able to give him a scratch, but not actually able to like put a hurt on him.
So, demons are like ineffective monsters working on behalf of Satan.
Well, even when he sleeps, he has on his armor of God.
And that's all that is.
The full armor of God, baby, the full armor of God.
I love, oh God, QAnon has taught me that fucking phrase so much.
It's ridiculous.
That would be a great name for like a brand of chastity belt.
I think I call my no sir.
No, sir, the chance to be built.
Ugh, yeah, something, anything.
We gotta what we what we really need to do is just start a t-shirt store for these people and just grift off them and just make money hand over fist because some cheap, shitty AI art and knowing all the slogans these people say be great, be absolutely great.
Ah, man.
So, uh, one bit of news.
I mean, not really news, but just something funny that happened.
Did you guys hear about uh about Christy Noam?
Uh, like, do you want to screw you guys?
I'm out of here in the middle of the Senate hearing.
Uh, yeah, oh, because she got she got crushed so badly because the um the Democrats just set her up with so many vicious things, like the biggest of which was uh like they were like, uh, Secretary Noam, have you not deported any U.S. veterans?
And she's like, No, we haven't deported any veterans.
He's like, You're sure about that?
She's like, Yeah.
And he's like, Uh, now patching in live from Korea, military veteran who you deported to Korea.
His family's very upset about that.
Hey, veteran, how you feel?
And he's like, Not great in Korea, don't want to be here.
Love being in America, got picked up and thrown across the globe for no fucking reason.
And Christine Noam is doing the Rodney Dangerfield collar tug and the sweat's pouring down.
Now, seeing all these excuses for it, like uh, like they're like they're saying, yo, he was he was deported on a drug conviction.
So I'm like, okay, but that wasn't the question.
The question was, have you deported a veteran?
She said, No, this guy's a veteran.
You can't, you know, it doesn't matter why he was deported.
You know, she was caught lying barefaced.
Right.
That's the whole thing.
That's the she lied or she didn't know.
And neither of those are good.
Exactly.
I mean, that's the thing with Trump that is so enraging.
And this is what us snarky liberals on the internet have been screaming about is the entire argument that people had about the Biden administration and why the Biden dementia truther logic was that we, this doddering old man, wasn't really running America.
We don't know who the shadowy cabal that was actually controlling our great nation was.
And then these people are interviewing Trump and they're like, hey, Mr. Trump, you pardoned this guy who was trafficking literal mountains of cocaine in America.
And Trump was like, I don't even know anything about that.
And they're like, but you fucking pardoned him.
And they're like, yeah, some people came up to me.
They told me that Obama and Biden railroaded that guy.
And I fucking hate Obama and Biden.
So they railroaded him.
So I pardoned him because I mean, I got to do a bro a solid if evil Obama and Biden were mean to him.
And then the interviewer was like, Do you know anything about what fucking happened?
Or did you just take the word of someone who told you that Obama and Biden railroaded the guy?
And he's like, I took their word for it.
Why would they lie to me?
And so it's just this thing where the president who wields the literal power of life and death over people that have been convicted for crimes is literally just told, sign this.
Yo, Mr. President, here's a piece of paper.
Put your John Hancock on it.
And Trump's like, why?
They're like, don't ask questions.
And John's like, oh, I'm sorry.
And just like, signs it.
I mean, that's our alpha male Giga Chad president.
Just pardoning people, not even knowing why he's pardoning them.
Yeah, but he signed that pardon with his own hand.
Yes.
No auto pen in sight.
Right.
Which is like, again, the most ridiculous thing in the world because he pardoned all the January 6thers like in the first like two minutes of his presidency.
Don't think he got out a thousand signatures in two minutes.
That's why his hands bruised from signing everything without the auto pen.
Oh, oh, if only that was their excuse.
But what Steph just said segues smoothly into our next segment.
President Trump death watch.
I'll have to ask DJ Minimal Effort for some music there.
He'll get back to me in two years.
That's why he's DJ Minimal Effort.
But yeah, we actually had a press conference today, and Carol Levine was asked by some reporter who will be found in a gutter soon.
Yo, yo, press secretary lady, why is Trump's hand so bruised and bandaged?
And she actually just said, you know what?
Fuck you.
I'm still doing it.
I'm still going to look you dead in the fucking eye.
Me, you.
This is an audio format, but just imagine me doing the pointing at my eyes and pointing at your eyes.
The look at me, look at me.
I'm the captain now.
Imagine that's happening.
And that's what Carolyn Levine did to that person and then just stared them dead in the eyes and said, it's because he shakes so many hands.
Also, your last name is Levitt.
Yeah, Levitt, whatever.
I will not get her name right.
Fuck her.
She doesn't deserve it.
Levitt Levine Lysol, whatever.
Carolyn Lysol.
And you would think she might have come up with a new excuse by now besides the handshake thing, but I guess she's too busy trying to throw her deported cousin under the bus or whatever the hell that relative was, her sister-in-law or something.
Yeah, that I haven't followed up on.
But yeah, but I mean, this is.
Yeah, apparently someone asked her about it and she was like, she's a criminal.
She can go to hell.
Ah, the family that crimes together doesn't stay there.
And I replied, they are deporting their own relatives.
You are not safe.
Exactly.
Exactly.
But I mean, this was this was the thing.
They're still going with the fucking handshake shit, which is such an obvious lie that if you, if you're a journalist, if you're on TV, if you're anyone who's a talking head in our media, they're telling you, go fuck yourself.
They're laughing in your face.
They're mocking you.
You should not like tolerate this.
You should be upset about this.
And you should actually start digging into what is really going on.
You should start looking into why this is happening to the president.
And so what is now floating all over the internet is that Trump is being given a IV medication for Alzheimer's.
The leader in the clubhouse, the leaders in the clubhouse are no, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
We actually deal in reality here.
Q and I would never accuse Trump of getting the chrome because that would be that would ruin their LARP.
But there are two IV medications, Eliquimbi, L-E-Q-E, M-B-I.
I'm not even using the U after Q there.
That's cute.
And Kisluna, K-I-S-U-N-L-A.
And those are based.
They're treatments that they don't actually prevent Alzheimer's or cure it.
But what they do is they slow.
What'd you say?
I said there's no cure for Alzheimer's.
Right, there's no treatment for Alzheimer's.
But what these drugs do is they slow the progression of the disease.
They let you buy more time before the disease actually conquers your brain.
Hey, let's see some close-up shots of Bruce Wilson's hand and compare him to Donald Trump's hand.
Well, I mean, Bruce is so far gone.
I don't think they would even bother using that treatment on him.
I mean, Bruce is, yeah, and that's the thing is this, these drugs are for early Alzheimer's.
And yeah, so basically the Lekumbi says, no, it is not a cure, but it is the first traditionally approved treatment that addresses the underlying biology of Alzheimer's and changes the course of the disease in a meaningful ways in early stages.
Another treatment has also received traditional approval.
By slowing progression of disease when taken early in the stage of Alzheimer's, individuals have more time to participate in daily life and live independently.
And the things about this drug is that you have to take an IV of it once every two weeks.
And also, they like to do MRIs to make sure that it is not causing brain bleeds, which is one of the side effects of the drug.
And people have been pointing out that that very easily could have been why the president was out of sight for a week, was that one of the treatments led to a little blood on the old brain of the God Emperor.
And they had to like keep him nice and sedated for a week while they cleared that up.
So, and this is what happens when you don't level with people and you're dishonest, you invite speculation like this about what's really going on.
Yeah, and it drives me nuts because, you know, it fuels all kinds of conspiracism, but it's like, that's all we got.
All we can do is look at these dribs and drabs and draw our own conclusions.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
And I guess somebody decided that it's better, it's better just to keep it all quiet.
It's like the tax thing all over again, that it's, you know, that the heat he's getting for not releasing the taxes is better than what would happen if we knew what was in his taxes.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's really what gets me, and I've said this, again, I've said this before, but they brought, they were like, oh, yeah, his swollen ankles are because of a circulatory issue.
They were totally okay with that.
And then people were like, what about his hand?
And they were like, I'm going to lie to you about his fucking hand.
And it's like, why?
You were honest about the ankles.
Why can't you be honest about the hand?
And at this point, like, it's becoming more and more obvious that if they told us the truth about the hand, people would be, would say, oh, well, then he needs to resign or Vance needs the 25th Amendment him.
Because if the president is actually in the quote unquote early stages of dementia or Alzheimer's, he can't be president anymore.
Because we're supposed to have three more years with this guy, and that's that's no bueno or whatever else might be going on with him.
Well, come on, we did it with Reagan.
Okay, see, I was like an FDR or maybe Kennedy.
Well, well, I mean, FDR, again, FDR wasn't the brain.
Kennedy was just racked with problems.
I mean, and what's really kind of funny is he had a doctor that was literally much like Ronnie Johnson in the Trump White House.
In the early Kennedy administration, he had a doctor that was known by everybody else as Dr. Feelgood, a guy that was hooking up Kennedy with like fucking everything.
And he got Kennedy on all kinds of shit.
And what was really kind of crazy was in like either late 62 or early 63, they got Dr. Feelgood out of there and they got a doctor in there that was just doing like actual physical therapy with Kennedy on his back and stuff like that.
And Kennedy was actually feeling like better.
He was actually like getting like in a good headspace about his chronic pain with the new doctor.
And then he got killed.
So, well, don't have to worry about the pain anymore.
But yeah, it's like really kind of funny that right before his assassination, like in the month before his assassination, Kennedy's health was actually taking a turn for the better.
Dr. Feelgood is the one who killed him.
He's like, he's like, if I can't have you, no one can.
No one can.
Exactly.
Yeah, Dr. Fieldgood was like, you kicked me out of the White House.
I'll put him in the ground.
Yeah, he was the one who put Oswald up to it.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was, that was a thing.
But, and it's really crazy how we've had so many presidents lie to us about their health.
I mean, Woodrow Wilson was basically not president for several months after he had his stroke and his wife and his staff were running the country.
Was it Wilson who was like pretending to be laying in bed pretending he wasn't half dead when the when Congress came to visit him and see how he was doing?
I know there was some that was happening.
That sounds right.
Yeah, there was some president that happened with where he like he or he was like on death's door, but he, but he managed to fake it just well enough that Congress is like, okay, we'll let you keep presidencing.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Wilson was in real bad shape for a long time.
They were pondering 25th Amendmenting Reagan at the end of his presidency, but then they let him run milk out the clock for the last year or so.
Kennedy, I mean, my God, the Democrats were like Lyndon Johnson and anti-Kennedy Democrats were trying to get his Addison's disease used as a disqualifier against him before he even won the presidency.
So all of like so many people had health issues that were hidden from the public and from their political enemies for as long as they possibly could.
But we're supposed to be way more open about these things nowadays.
And yet we are now dealing with a president that is openly lying to us about a very obvious problem.
And we're no closer to the truth now than we were when this whole thing started.
When people started taking photographs of his hand and being like, what's going on there?
I just thought of something when Trump, and correct me if I'm wrong, but when Trump had the last MRI, didn't he like have an outburst and say something like, my brain is fine?
He said it was not about his, not about his brain.
Like they asked him what okay, yeah, right.
They asked him, what was the MRI for?
Like what part of your body got MRI's?
And he was like, I don't know, but it wasn't my brain, which is so that just that sounds like it's the Alzheimer's truth.
Right.
I think he also said it was outstanding or something like that.
Right.
He was like, the doctors result, the doctors reviewed my MRI and said it was incredible.
My non-brain MRI results, fucking immaculate.
Let me tell you, sir.
No one's seen a non-brain-based MRI as great as the MRI that I had.
For what, Mr. President?
What was it for?
Like, tell us.
And he's like, no, I won't.
But I will tell you, I did have a great MRI that I will not reveal, talk about.
The best MRI.
Many people are saying it.
Many people, the best people are saying it.
People with tears in their eyes are talking about how great my MRI is.
Big beasty doctors who didn't cry at their own mother's funeral.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
That was always my favorite.
Like, like he could, he could not go to a single rally without, without some guy who looked like, you know, he carries hogs all day long, just coming up to him and tearing up and saying, you've done so much for this country.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's shit.
He just loved that.
Like, he just lives only to be this dude that's so powerful and so awesome that people that are big, masculine men in his mind just melt before him and just weep at his greatness.
And they're just like, oh my God, you're so incredible.
I love that.
Mr. President, I might be six foot four with 2% body fat, but you, you are stronger, braver, bolder, better than I will ever be.
And they just, they just blubber on him.
And Trump like pulls him tight to his bosom and is like, it's okay.
No one can be as great as me.
I am truly the greatest.
And they're just like, well, I know, Mr. President, I know.
You're so great.
It's just like literally every story he tells is just his own crippling narcissism times a million, where he's just so enraptured in his own greatness that he just projects it onto some other person that in his mind would be something that he and you would respect,
which is the six foot four, two percent body fat pig farmer from Arkansas that we're all like just like that man wakes up at 3.30 in the morning and goes to bed at 2.30 in the morning and puts in 23 hours of brutal labor just to make ends meet.
Just like the president.
Just exactly.
They have to beg him to sleep.
Yes, they have to beg him to sleep.
Sir, you're saving the country too much.
Exactly.
Sir, you're MAGAing too hard.
Please, please, MAGA at a more responsible level.
And Trump's like, there's going to be nothing left for your successor to do.
The country will get to the point.
Yeah, I remember that.
I remember the guy.
It wasn't Trump, but it was like DeSantis.
I remember DeSantis talking about how he was going to be term limited out of the Florida governorship this time around.
And he's like, I want the next guy to come in and have nothing to do because I'm just taking care of all of Florida's problems.
And it's like, well, you didn't, Ron.
The next guy is going to have a mountain of shit to clean up behind you.
So, yeah.
So congratulations.
It's not going to work out that way.
So Trump had another 10,000 word truth that I'm not going to quote all of it because I already, I know that half of you fell asleep listening to the first one, and I apologize.
But this one.
So imagine I said a lot of things in Trump's voice before this.
In addition to all of that, I go out of my way to do long, thorough, and very boring medical examinations of the great Walter Reed National Military Medical Center and seen and supervised by top doctors, all of whom have given me perfect marks, perfect in all caps.
Some have said they have never seen such strong results.
I do these tests because I owe it to our country.
In addition to the medical, I have done something no other president has done on three separate occasions.
The last one being recently by taking what is known as a cognitive examination, something which very few people would be able to do very well, including those who worked at the New York Times.
And I aced all three of them in front of large numbers of doctors and experts, most of whom I do not know.
Seriously, why does he brag so much about those cognitive tests?
And that he and he took one recently.
He is like, recently, I took a test for dementia.
Yeah, they only give you that test if they're worried you have dementia.
They don't, it's not like, it's not like, you know, going on the internet and doing a 20-minute IQ test.
Right.
Yeah.
Doctors do not willy-nilly hand out the draw a clock test.
They do it because they're like, oh, God, this guy's cooked.
Here, let's see how cooked you are.
And if they keep giving you the test, that means you are failing it.
And they're trying to judge.
They're trying to watch your failure slope.
If you took the first cognitive test and you passed it, guess what happens?
They don't give it to you anymore.
They're like, okay, this guy's fine.
We're good.
They only keep giving it to you if they're like, okay, last time you scored a 27.
That's how he's doing this time.
Ooh, another 27.
He's stabilizing.
We'll test him again in six months.
Oh, no, 25.
Now he's going downhill a bit.
I mean, that's, that's how this is.
That's how this actually works.
This is how it happens.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, like, the only thing I could think of why he would keep getting tests like this is that, you know, somebody, some court is trying to determine if he's competent.
Like, you know, I mean, I can see this being like some kid going for grandpa's, you know, millions.
And he's like, no, he, he can't count to five anymore.
I want my money now.
Like, yeah, Baron Trump's going to ice him out of the estate.
Which, which, considering the kids he has, I could totally see them doing that.
That would be hilarious.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just really, it's just really crazy how everything he says is such a confession, and people will not people will not continue to like push on this.
That this problem that is very obvious and very severe is just, you know, whatever.
Hey, like, if the president were to drop dead tomorrow, ah, whatever.
We got JD Vance.
He'll fit right in.
It's just, oh, man.
Like, that will not be good.
That will not work out.
It'll be really bad.
Yeah.
And I mean, that's the bad thing.
It's like, as bad as he is, if he's gone, then we got to deal with the couch boinker.
Yeah.
Well, the real thing is, is that when he falls apart, he's the glue that keeps all this shit together.
And that once he's not there anymore, you're going to have all these different competing factions fighting for power inside of the Republican Party.
You're going to have like QAnon dead enders fighting Groypers, fighting Candace Owens, fighting Tucker Carlson, because there's no rational normal Republicans around anymore.
Anyone of the ilk of Mitt Romney and those types are long gone.
It's all just varying types of nuts who've got their own, like, do you support Israel?
And if you don't support Israel, do you just not support Israel?
Or are you a full-blown Holocaust denier?
Like, these are the things that are going are in, that are happening in the Republican Party.
These are the factions that are swirling around in this party.
And it's just like, oh, my God.
Like, this is really what we're doing.
This is, this is one half of the American political landscape.
And it's all just nuts.
It's all just absolute lunatics who are barely being held together in a tenuous alliance because they're all pretending that Donald Trump's going to save the world.
Yeah, the second he's gone, it's going to be pandemonium.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
The moment, the moment he's gone, the fight for the power vacuum that that's going to generate.
And the parties, the parties, I'm going to drink so much when he's dead.
I keep thinking of like, like, like, you know, what if like, like, what if Trump dies and we don't find out about it for a couple of days, like with like the story with Stalin, where he had a heart attack in bed and died because everyone was too afraid to interrupt his sleep and see if he was okay.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's, it's going to, I mean, that kind of thing, I don't think, I don't think that's going to happen.
I think they're going to, they're, they're going to be pretty public about what's going on, mostly because the Vance faction of this whole thing, like Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, JD Vance, they're going to want to hit the ground running as quickly as possible that like, hey, there's a new sheriff in town and you all need to, you all need to fall in line behind President Vance.
And a lot of people are going to be like, fuck you, motherfucker.
I am not kissing that ring.
You can go to hell.
Yeah.
And I'm sorry.
I was just going to say a lot of people don't like Vance because of his wife.
They're like, oh, well, that's not racially pure enough for me.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, that's, I mean, that's been a bit of like sarcastic internet talk that Vance is going to divorce his wife and marry Erica Kirk and have like the white, the white power couple needed to make the Groypers back off.
But the thing is, is that Vance is going to have like his power faction, but then there's going to be a lot of people that are going to be against him.
And then on top of that, you're going to have a bunch of people that are going to say that Vance killed Trump to get the presidency, which we've talked about.
There's a bunch on the pod.
It's like, yo, guys, Trump's dying.
Like, calm down.
But they're not going to buy it.
They're not going to believe it.
They're just going to freak out and call him a usurper.
And we're just going to have those kinds of things happening.
And all the Democrats are going to hate him.
He has no charisma.
So he's not going to be able to rally the MAGA base.
That's the thing is like, it's not just the Usha Vance thing.
There's so many valid reasons to just totally detest this guy that he's just, he's doomed.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's the thing is that what I really think is very interesting about this is that we have not had a president via succession in forever.
And most people wouldn't even remember that it was General Ford.
They would think it's Lyndon Johnson because of Kennedy.
They don't remember that Nixon resigned and Ford got the presidency from that.
But I mean, that was still early 70s.
Yeah, fun fact, kids.
Gerald Ford is the only person who had never been elected president yet hold the office.
Well, you've got that.
You've got that trivia bit almost fully correct.
The only person never to receive an electoral vote for either president or vice president and get the office because he wasn't on the ticket.
Spiro Agnew was on the ticket and won the vice presidency, resigned due to tax corruption.
The 25th Amendment had, I believe, no, maybe I think it's 25th or 22nd.
But one of those amendments actually created a new succession plan and created the way to bring a new vice president into the fold because when Kennedy got shot, Johnson just didn't have a vice president for that year.
Like if the, if, if something happened to Johnson, the speaker of the house would have become president.
Johnson only got a vice president when he won his own term and Hubert Humphrey was his vice president at that point.
So like America went Sans president for like a year after Kennedy got clipped.
So under Nixon, the amendment was in place that if the vice presidency is vacant, the president nominates someone, the House, the House and the Senate votes confirm them, and they become vice president.
And that's what that's how Ford got the vice presidency.
And Ford tells a story where basically like he and his wife like move into the vice president's like residence and someone like grabs him and is like, Jerry, you may not be vice president for very long.
And he's like, what the fuck?
And they're like, yeah, it's getting real bad for Tricky Dick.
Real fucking bad.
And he's like, wow, this is kind of crazy that like literally he's like, yeah, we just gave you the vice president.
Guess what?
You're getting promoted real quick.
You're about to be president.
Which had to be like, what, on what planet?
And man, if that happened nowadays, boy, would the conspiracy theories have flown fast and furious.
But in case you were wondering, Watergate as a plot to get Gerald Ford, who was on the Warren Commission, his reward for covering up Kennedy's murder, that is a conspiracy theory that Watergate was an inside job to knock Nixon out of the presidency and give Ford the Warren Commission staff member the presidency for doing his good job in covering up the fact that Chucky the typewriter whacked JFK.
And they couldn't just give him a hooker.
I'm sorry, sex worker.
Nope, I apologize.
No, no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gerald Ford was like, I'd take 5 million bucks on a blowjob.
They're like, no, you're president.
I just wanted to throw in that.
I learned this from reading a Dave Barry book a long time ago.
Spiro Agnew, if you rearrange letters in his name, it spells grow a penis.
That's all I know about Spyro Agnew, but there you go.
Spiro, Spiru Agnew.
Yeah, it sounds like I'm about to eat at a Greek restaurant.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to have some Saganaki in a side of Spiro Agnew.
That there was a wrestler and he got a masked man gimmick.
And he was supposed to be from Japan.
So whenever he spoke, he just named Japanese wrestlers.
And that was him pretending to speak Japanese.
So I'm thinking like you pretend to speak Greek by just like saying things like that, like Spiru Agnew, Mike Dukakis, so on and so forth.
Just all the Greek names you can think of.
I'm blanking right now, but I remember another situation like that where somebody was trying to like sound sound Italian by saying like Sinatra and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Sinatra Brando.
It's like De Niro.
It's like, oh, this man's fluent in Italian.
This guy's totally got it.
Totally got it, Klopp.
He's got it nailed.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
It is.
Yeah.
It's just so great that we basically get to come onto the spot every week and be like, president, probably dying soon.
Wonder bar.
But what you said is about Vance and the lack of juice he has.
That's the thing that makes it so combustible and so dangerous for them is that, I mean, the Republican Party is going to endure because there's too much money invested in it.
And there's too many people that are working hard to keep this thing going.
But once the SS Trump hits that iceberg and goes down, then they've got no bench.
I mean, there are people right now talking about like Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson running in 2028 because they got nobody.
They got nobody.
And it's like, you're going to run the stoner moron podcaster or the guy that was clawed by his dog who he thinks was a demon.
You're going to run one of those guys.
It's just like.
Well, they can't run Ben Shapiro.
He's Jewish.
So that's the same thing.
Oh, God, they can't run.
I mean, they can't run Ben Shapiro because he's Jewish and they can't run Nick Fuentes because he's too young.
And too Hispanic.
I think that's, oh, man, that's, and also questionable sexual proclivities for Nick when it comes to how Republicans view him.
So yeah.
He was on Piers Morgan and actually said he was a virgin.
That was great.
It just, I love that Nick like leans into that like fucking.
I know he, because he's, he's terrified of losing his incel base.
Right.
It would be, it would be the, well, actually, the really funniest thing in the world would be if Nick had a non-white girlfriend.
That would be the greatest thing in the world.
He's secretly dating Candace Owens.
Yes.
Oh my God.
That would be the, that would be the greatest thing in the history of the world.
Oh, man.
That would have been like the greatest thing ever if like she went to the pillow talk.
Pillow talk.
After they're done, they'd be like, you know, I really hate Israel.
Speaking of pillows, I heard that Mike Lindell is running for governor of Minnesota.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
Bringing respectability to our great, the great state of Minnesota.
Minnesota?
I don't know, but that's where he's been based out of for forever.
But yeah.
Yeah, I'm pretty, I'm pretty sure he was.
I listened to a three-part dollop episode about him where they like they basically read his history from his autobiography and they're like, none of this is true.
None of this is true.
But I think he is from Minnesota and he's got that accent too.
So yeah, I don't think I've heard him speak more than a single sentence.
Like even before all this, I couldn't stand that guy, even when he was just doing those commercials.
Like I remember, I remember being at Bed Bath and Beyond with my, she might have been my fiancé at the time, actually, not even my wife yet, but she was where she's, she was thinking about getting a new pillow and she sees my pillow.
I'm like, let me, I'm like, and I just looked at that guy and I'm like, he looks like a snake oil salesman.
So I went online and I looked it up and there's all these reviews.
You're like, oh, his pillows are just a recycled foam crap.
And I'm like, yeah, don't buy that pillow.
And I am so glad I talked her out of that 10 years later.
Yeah.
Good job, us.
Yeah.
But yeah, Mike Lindell, good luck.
Thank you for ensuring that Tim Walz will have four more years in the governor's mansion.
Not too worried about that.
But yeah, I mean, it's just, again, this is the crap they have to throw at the wall.
This is why they're doing all this gerrymandering.
This is why they're doing all the stuff they're doing because they don't have anybody to run in 2028.
Like I see like hypothetical, they're like, oh, in this hypothetical poll, Newsom's beating Vance by three.
And it's just.
That is not what's going to happen when these people actually get out on the, when these people actually get out on the floor and actually start dancing, it's going to get real bad real quick for the Republicans.
And if there's any, if there's any Republican who I think is guaranteed to lose Ohio, it's Vance.
And that's his home state.
Yeah, he sucks.
I mean, he came really close to losing that state in a Senate race against a guy who was not a great Democrat opponent.
I mean, he, but he underperformed.
I mean, and that's his one statewide election before being vice president.
But the one thing I was going to bring up before is that Vance would not get an open fee.
He would not close the field.
He would not just swoop.
He would not just go right to the nomination uncontested because we have not had a person succeed into the presidency in my lifetime.
And I really don't think there's anybody that is going to give a incumbent president who didn't win election the benefit of the doubt.
Like they're not going to say, oh, it's time to rally around the flag and support this guy.
And we got to back Vance the whole way.
I mean, all these pricks, like Rubio, Hegsith, whoever, any, all these weirdos, all these kooks, Ted Cruz probably wants another bite at the apple.
DeSantis probably wants to run again.
Rubio.
Yeah.
Ted Cruz, I will be astonished if he does not run in 2028.
I mean, like, I just can't imagine a situation like he could be, he could be in a vegetative state and his ugly wife, Heidi, be like, yes, he's running.
Yeah.
I mean, like, that's the thing is that all these people have bookmarked a 2028 presidential run and they're not going to back down because fucking JD Vance, who's president now, tells them, yeah, fuck off.
Because A, Vance is going to be incredibly unpopular.
And B, the economy is going to be in the fucking toilet.
So the Republicans are going to be looking for an outsider who doesn't have the Trump economy stink on them to try to salvage this mess.
And so I think you're going to have really dynamic primaries on both sides because the Democrats are going to be looking at, I mean, it's going to be like what it was in 2020, where every Democrat with two legs in a pulse was like, Jesus Christ, I'm going to crush Trump if I make it to the general election.
Yeah, did that first Democratic primary have like 27 people in it?
It might have.
I know that it had around 20 when we got to the debates and stuff like that.
But yeah, one second, punching up 2020 Democratic primary.
2020 Democratic presidential primaries.
Because they had to divide it up into two.
There were so many people.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They had to do like, well, that same thing happened in 2016 for the Republicans at the Philips Regions.
Okay, so here we go.
Biden, Bernie Sanders, Tulsi Gabbard, Democrat running for president.
Yeah, during those weeks where she was trying to trick people into thinking she was a Democrat.
Yeah.
So she's number three.
Warren, four.
Bloomberg, five.
Klopicher, six.
Pete, seven.
Tom Steyer, eight.
Deval Patrick, nine.
Mike Bennett, 10.
Andrew Yang, 11.
Oh, yes, Yang.
John DeWalt.
John Delaney, John Delaney, 12.
Corey Booker, 13.
Marianne Williamson, 14.
Julian Castro, 15.
Kamala Harris, 16.
Steve Bullock, 17.
John Sestak, 18.
Wayne Neesome, who don't even remember, 19.
Beto O'Rourke, 20.
Tim Ryan, 21.
Bill de Blasso, 22.
Christian Chillebrand 22.
Bill de Blasio.
Seth Moulton, 24.
Jay Easley, 25.
John Hickenlooper, 26.
And Mike Gravel, 27.
Trevell.
Eric Swalwell, 28.
And Richard Ojita, 29.
So we had 29 people declare for the presidency.
So, yeah.
Oh, my God.
And I forgot about, I forgot about like half of them.
I just knew there was an insane number of people.
Right.
Because again, like Trump was so vulnerable in 2020 that it was just like, hey, if I catch like, because in 1992, nobody wanted to run against Pappy Bush.
The field was pretty small.
Clinton won it.
Clinton won against the small field and was the nominee.
The economy went into the toilet and Clinton won in a landslide.
So nobody wanted to make the mistake that Pappy Cuomo, because that's what everyone forgets in 92, was that Andrew Cuomo, the dad.
Mario, Mario.
Mario Cuomo was the guy that was supposed to be the Democrat nominee in 92, but he got cold feet and he thought Bush's popularity was too strong.
So he was like, fuck it.
I'll wait for 96 in the open seat.
So I'll let the B team handle it.
And then I'll let that hick from Arkansas run.
I'll let that hick from Arkansas take the L against Pappy Bush.
And then the hick from Arkansas dog walks Bush and becomes president.
And Cuomo's like, oh, beans.
It was all because of that saxophone that he did.
Yes.
Yes.
What was it on?
Arsinio?
Did he do it?
I can't.
Arsinio.
Arsinio.
Yep, the saxophone on Arsinio, the fact that he said he wore his briefs most of the time.
I mean, boxers most of the time.
Smoke, but did not inhale.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
He was, he was edgy, but safe.
He was the rascal, but the rascal you could take home to mom.
Yeah, good, good boy in the streets, bad boy in the sheets.
And then it turned out that was literally the case.
Damn.
Rimshot, how I missed you.
Yes.
But I mean, that was just the thing was that Clinton, Clinton caught a wave with a bad economy and he was a good candidate and it all broke his way.
And everyone's every Democrat alive is going to see that same thing in 2024.
Mostly because half of us are going to be in breadlines and the other half of us are going to be fighting the Venezuelan insurgency.
So I mean, like, it's just, oh, boy.
That is, that is, again, one of those magical things that makes you just want to throw something against a fucking wall that these piece of shit Republicans were posting the memes of like videos of Call of Duty or whatever.
And then the caption was, me and the boys in Taiwan after Taylor Swift makes all the idiot girls vote for Kamala.
And it's like, oh, that, that warmongering bitch, Kamala, is going to send us to fight and die in the sands of the Middle East or the fields of Ukraine.
Meanwhile, Trump's like, war with Venezuela for no reason.
It's like, yeah.
And it's the peace president.
I feel so cliche whenever I bring up 1984, but I mean, it's literally, it's, okay, this man is begging Venezuela to go to war with us.
And at the same time, they're calling him the peace president with no irony.
It's double-exactly.
We have always been at war with East Asia.
We've never been at war with Eurasia.
Exactly.
Yeah, that'll be our quick little fill at the end.
We apparently just took an oil tanker from the Venezuelans this week.
And Trump's like, yeah, we just took a toilet.
We took an oil or tanker from the Venezuelans.
What are they going to do about it?
What are you going to do about it, Maduro?
You a bitch.
You a fucking bitch, Maduro.
It's like, oh my God.
Didn't he claim there were drugs on the oil tank or some crap like that?
Probably.
I mean, but then like there, and someone said, what are you going to do about the oil on the tank?
He's like, oh, no, keep it.
And it's like, that's what he always wanted to do.
The dude's obsessed with just stealing oil from other people.
He just lives only to do that.
So yeah, Trump just trying to like just doing, I'm not touching you, just like hovering his face or his fingers around Maduro's face, making him like trying to antagonize him in this, taking the swing.
Oh, man.
It's great.
It's great.
It's great that our foreign policy is in the hands of this idiot.
It's great that all our policies are in the hands of this idiot.
Great job, America.
Great job.
But on the bright side, at least, the guy running the Department of Defense is at minimum 12 hours sober.
Yeah, yeah, no shit.
Oh, yeah.
And we're going to have pull-up bars and airports.
Oh, thank God.
I can get my reps in while I'm waiting for my plane to show up.
While I'm wearing my three-piece suit, I got my three-piece on while I'm getting my reps.
And his freaking brilli creamed hair.
Are you also going to kick your feet around a lot and look unprofessional like RFK did when he tried to, because those aren't with pull-ups, man, you're supposed to keep your body straight.
You're not supposed to be thrashing around like you can't handle it.
Yeah, well, when the lower half of your body is filled with heroin and the upper half is full of brainworm, it's kind of hard to hold still.
Well, that is true.
And he's probably got some kind of bird parasite, too, and something from that bear.
And he probably caught something from Olivia Nutsy, too.
Oh, boy.
All of us.
Yeah, you made a joke about that earlier.
Did you want to bring that up?
No, I did not.
Oh, I was talking about talking to Steph, actually.
Oh, but Steph, bring it up.
I have no idea what this is.
Oh, I'm trying to get a free copy of her book.
And my one friend is on it for me.
And, man, you could just throw her a bone and get her, you know, sale number five on the book.
No, I'm not.
I'm not giving that bitch a single penny.
She's not a writer.
She's not a journalist.
She is just a pathological liar and cheater.
And she needs to go to a therapist because she has some obvious daddy issues.
Obvious daddy issues.
She needs help.
She doesn't need to write a book.
I forget what the joke I made about her, but the joke is she's a fucking joke.
Wasn't Meryl Streep's character in the devil is made of The Devil Wears Prada?
Wasn't that character based on her in parts?
Really?
Maybe.
Yeah, maybe, maybe I'm insane.
I don't know.
I thought Vanity Fair fit in there somehow.
I don't remember exactly.
I have no earthly idea.
I liked Meryl Streep in that movie.
I can't imagine it being based on that hack.
Well, we've completely run out of steam, so I'm putting the pin on it.
We're done.
We're done here this week.
It's over.
Thank you all for listening, everybody.
No, not you.
It's over.
It's all three of us.
And we managed to go an hour and eight minutes past the original time I tried to stop the show.
Yes, which, I mean, which was a terrible mistake on our part.
Oh, God.
Silence is much preferable to the incoherent babble of us.
I broke the podcast.
Yes.
Anyhow.
I just want to say you've also listened to the pod at this point.
God bless you.
Yes.
And if you want to listen to the podcast even harder, give us a five-star review on whatever outlet you're currently listening to us on.
Thanks to, beyond that, give me money.
Go to patreon.com slash poker politics.
Donate.
Help me out.
If you don't want to do that, go to love146.org and donate to them to fight human trafficking, which is a far better thing to do.
Thanks to DJ Minimal Effort and Frosty for the bumps and the music.
Thanks to you all for listening.
▲
Export Selection