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Nov. 7, 2024 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:41:58
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #213: Well that sucked

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The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon.
While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to an incredible, exciting, dynamic episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
No way, it's going to be none of those things.
Here's Haley.
She's here.
Hello everybody.
It's a great day.
It's a great week.
It's a great rest of our lives going forward.
Hi.
El is also here.
I am.
My beautiful lambs.
Welcome to Praise Ventures in Christ World.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
We're here to talk about how much we love Christianity and specifically Caucasian Christianity.
Yes.
So the podcast is going to be taking a dynamic pivot as we enter this new era.
Yeah.
So everybody get your Bibles out.
Yes.
We're going to talk about some shit the President has never heard of.
Open to any part of it.
Actually, that's what we're going to do, is we're going to find the sections of the Bible that foretold Trump.
We're going to mingle Christianity with MAGA. The whole thing.
That'd be great.
Mike, you're getting too close to being interesting.
We don't do that on this show anymore.
Do not stop being interesting a thousand years ago.
They got their gas out of this on January 6th where everybody was either just like, we really disagree with this.
That's actual treason.
And then slightly over half of the country was just like, actually, we're totally cool with that.
Like, that's pretty cool.
Welcome to just being the family.
You did it.
You made guys now.
You can drop all the QAnon bullshit.
You're in the family.
Welcome to the famiglia.
So what are the chances that the January 6th guys are all getting out?
Oh, 100%, dude.
Why would they possibly be in jail for even a moment longer?
Over half of the country overwhelmingly said that they are patriotic heroes who are, like, in there for fucking war crimes or whatever.
Like, this one was not, like, we were supposed to be saving this for headline news, but unfortunately, this is the recording week, so we're gonna be angry about President Trump again for the whole time.
But yeah, dude, like...
It wasn't close this time.
The country was just like, we're being pretty fucking vocal about what we want, dude.
Like, this is it.
No ladies.
Never run another one again.
We never want to see another one.
I've been on the road for the last, like, two hours, so I missed a few things as far as news.
Last time I checked, he was ahead in the popular vote.
Is that still accurate?
Yeah, I mean, last time I checked, he was ahead in the popular vote.
By enough that people were gloating pretty heavily about it.
Yeah, well, come on, California!
Not that it matters at all, but whatever.
It's just so funny.
Yeah, I mean, well, you can just spot where all the people in the country live.
You can just spot those states to the blue, and it still doesn't matter.
Right.
It's really like, come on, Pennsylvania!
State everybody loves!
Said nobody outside of Pennsylvania in history.
Yeah.
Anytime you talk to those people, they want to remind you about their terrible sports teams or historical events that happened like 300 years ago, that Boston can also take mostly claim for.
So it's like, get off Boston, stick Pennsylvania and figure out a way to be relevant other than destroying democracy.
God damn it, what a day!
I'll tell a funny quick story.
The reason that I'm so late today is that I was on the other side of town and there's a pretty major freeway that I have to get off on to get to my side of town.
And one of those oversized loads, it was one of those trucks moving a whole ass house.
I tried to take that curve and got stuck like Homer Simpson going down the water slide.
So intense curves caused an oversized load that made it difficult for you to get off.
This is an incredible story.
Thank you.
This story's got layers, like an onion, like a sexy onion.
While I was stuck in traffic, too, there was a news I saw on Twitter, like, oversized load stuck on freeway, and I was like, hey, that's what just rerouted me.
That's me.
That's why I'm so late.
That's me.
Yeah, I took that oversized load.
It ruined my commute!
Dude, this sort of Zooker shit is what the people want, man.
We need to fall in love with that soundboard and really just start getting, I mean, if it's working for Joe Rogan, let's go.
Let's go the way Joe Rogan.
He's showing it to us.
Yeah.
I think what we should do is we should go Andrew Dice Clay.
We need to bring the Dice Man back.
We need to go hardcore, dumb, just sexist, misogynist, nursery rhymes.
Just the whole bada boom.
Hey!
I think that's an aesthetic we can go for.
Maybe if we use enough soundboard effects, we'll get a shout-out at a presidential victory speech like Joe Rogan did, or Aiden Ross, or the Nelk Boys, or Theo Vaughn.
Did you guys see that?
Did anyone else?
No.
That happened last night at, like, midnight my time when Trump finally gave his speech.
They all got a shout-out, and I, like, got dizzy.
I was like, oh my god.
Have you ever seen any of Theo Vaughn's, like, stuff?
Like, I've seen some interviews that he did over this election cycle, but I don't know anything besides that.
So the only reason I ask is because, like, I'm, like...
I'm pretty good at, like, intuiting vibes off of people.
You know, I'm like a spooky witch in that way.
You know, for my cozy autumn lovers.
Yeah, I'm a fierce empath for my Magic the Gathering lovers.
But...
Unlike all the other people, Joe Rogan just seems empty-headed and stupid, and if you put a gun to his head, he would just be like, I'm red, baby.
I'm conservative all the way.
Put a gun to his head, he's going to do that.
He's probably just going to stare defiantly at you.
Theo Vaughn seems like he's only sold to the devil.
He's not, like, overly happy about it.
When I see him, like, talking, even, like, doing his shtick, there just seems to be, like, I don't know, man, there's a little shame behind all of it.
Like, he knows what he's doing, and he knows what he's...
He's like, oh my god, I'm taking off like a rocket.
I'm making so much money.
I'm getting so much exposure.
I'm like, I'm like moving and shaking with political figures.
But I had to sell my soul to like the actual devil to do it.
And he knows that he did that.
And the devil is a white man with a mean old hound.
So that bill will come due for my old brother.
We're out there fans out there.
See?
I need to coat my peppering in pop culture references.
Um, I was actually walking down the street the other day in the rain, a couple days before the election.
I'll brag about it.
Walking.
Um, and I heard somebody listening to the soundtrack of Oh Brother Where Art Thou, and I wanted to, like, wait, I wanted to kind of be like, bro, I love that soundtrack, but he was in a truck with his windows up, and it would just be weird if I was just like, hey, hey, hey, I like the music you're listening to, but I appreciated it.
April's out his window and he's just like, not today, you damn siren!
And he blows his fucking head off.
Yeah.
And then, instead of doing it in jail time, he's hailed as a hero.
He wins a medal and, like, a small cash prize.
And then he opens up, like, a local car wash, and he's doing great.
Good for that guy.
He loves to see it.
I like the idea, like, the new Hellworld, because everybody craves the Hellworld.
In my mind, the new Hellworld, it looks like Pleasantville, but it, like, operates like Saw, you know?
Like...
Everybody just wants this nice and shiny.
I swear to God, the Democrats are fucking out of their mind if they're not running Dwayne The Rock Johnson or Jason Momoa.
Big muscle celebrity people just like for no reason.
They just need to get one of them up there.
That's all the people want now.
Oh, yeah.
The time for politics is over!
The time for Brendan Serkis is now!
Oh, God.
I was...
You defeated me on every level because, like, earlier I thought to myself, the age of the politician is over.
The time of the celebrity is at hand.
I mean, it's just that.
It's just...
There's no point in running someone who's an actual civil servant for anything.
You just grab a celebrity and you just throw them up there.
And then they become the president, and then you just work around them.
And that's it.
And it's just...
We've created this system where the election is not about policy.
It's not about anything else.
It's literally vibes and popularity.
And Donald Trump is just a well-known public figure who has a brand that has existed for forever.
And nobody in our media has decided to bring up the fact that The man is literally dying before our very eyes.
That's our president you're talking about.
Just fucking respect.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean it.
I mean, you better get used to that sort of groveling.
I mean, imagine what he's going to do.
Especially because it's looking like they're going to hit the trifecta.
They're going to fuck up everything.
It's going to be great.
Oh, yeah.
They're going to fuck up so much shit.
And like, you know what?
I'll keep it in my pants.
We have a little segment for this in the back half of the show.
Top half of the show, we should keep it light and fluffy.
So let's get into our moose-bouche segment.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
Peanut is dead.
That is the light and fluffy news this week.
That's the week we're having.
The leavening.
It comes with the sight of dead Peanut.
Beloved internet squirrel.
And also, what's-his-face?
Not-so-beloved internet raccoon that was also involved.
Yes.
I think it was Fred.
Also involved, but nobody cares about or talks about.
Including myself, because I forgot his name.
Even going into this bit.
Rest in peace, anonymous raccoon.
In the arms of an angel.
Fly away from me.
Yeah.
Anyway, yeah, some miserable crone reported Peanut to the authorities, and they literally brought the feds to kick open his door, and they took him, and then they killed him right away.
They were just like, hey, you're brown enough, and they killed him dead while in custody.
He was a TikTok Peanut.
Yes, he was the Tiki-Taki's Peanut.
And L made the reference to the fact that Peanut was actually like a dark squirrel.
People were making a joke because Ben Garrison made him Caucasian in his...
I saw that dude.
He whitewashed shit out of that squirrel.
I think it's just because, like, that guy's mad lazy and a fucking hack, so he probably just had, like, he called a reference picture of New York squirrel, and traditionally those are gray, you know, or at least, like, the popular opinion of them are to be gray.
But no, Peanut was a squirrel of color, motherfucker.
Like, get it right.
Peanut is clearly a prop in this man's TikToks.
To show off his actual peanut.
Because that guy is packing.
And also there is like a...
It is sort of like a, hey, subscribe to my OnlyFans.
Oh, for sure.
And like, all the videos that I saw Right Winger sharing of like Rip Peanut were like clearly thirst trap videos of this guy being like, here's my dick.
So it was a weird time on the timeline, just seeing that guy's hog outlined and people mourning Peanut.
For some reason, the militia guys were really, like, upset about this.
They came out of hiding to kind of just, like, mourn Peanut, and then went back.
I had a picture of this guy with his fucking hog outlined through his bike shorts.
Yeah, so fucking weird that they would probably...
We certainly care very much about this squirrel!
Look at this adorable picture of this cute little guy.
I mean, you can only really see the tip of his tail, but I just really love this shot.
I don't know, pay no attention to that guy washing his Camaro in the background or whatever with his fucking, like, cum gutters out.
If he does.
Yeah.
Well, honestly, I mean, they were, like, slash are operating like an animal rescue, like, I guess, allegedly in New York, which is why they moved there, where the feds confiscated and killed this squirrel for no good reason.
You know, to say a citizen's guess.
And, you know, I've never been one to care if people are supplementing their income or even their primary source of income is, like, taking or receiving dick.
Or giving dick, I said.
Taking or receiving the same.
Taking or giving dick.
That's not to say.
Or just, like, any manner of OnlyFans or whatever online sex work.
It's just, like, who cares, you know?
Yeah, I did see one report that said that this guy knew that he had to file a permit for the whole peanut and raccoon thing.
And he had known that for like years and just hadn't done it.
So he was being a big lazy lazy and just...
Sure, I mean, I guess, but like, I don't know.
First of all, I feel like we can all agree that it was wrong for the cops to kill this stupid squirrel for no reason.
And I believe that it should have been possible for an animal control agency in the area to put it in a cage for a day or two while they sorted out what at the very least was a big PR disaster for them.
Oh, yeah.
It makes them look incredibly bad and was wildly unnecessary.
Especially even if they were just like, hey, man, let's split the difference.
This raccoon nobody cares about.
It's going to get, I mean, we need to kill something.
These boys are going to get incredibly antsy if they don't get to kill an animal today.
And there are brown people living around here.
So we need to sacrifice one of them.
It's like a ritual.
So, you know, we'll take the raccoon.
You know, that'll get them real excited for a variety of reasons.
And then you can take Peanut, you know?
We'll look the other way.
I don't know.
But instead they were just like, no!
Kill them both!
Blam, blam!
Get your guns out!
Firing squad!
That's just cops for you.
You know, you never see them getting upset when they do exactly that to, like, you know, a black woman in her own home.
I mean, I did hate it then as well.
Yeah, I'm not talking about you.
This is the squirrel we're talking about.
It's going to reach across the aisle.
It's going to appeal to humanity the way that human suffering never could.
Oh, there was a guy who had a Wojak and it was like a crying woman who was like, you care about this world more than George Floyd?
And then the guy was like, yes.
It's like, yeah, of course.
That's how you operate.
Yes, dude.
They love that.
They love that now.
Over half the country loves that.
And therefore, like, you know, we should probably follow line with like, yeah, totally.
That's awesome.
That thing that you did slash said, we approve of that.
Yeah, don't send me to the camps, please.
Yeah, love that one.
Gotta keep the barcode off you somehow, you know?
It's coming!
I do think the black and white edits of Peanut that says murdered by government that I've been seeing going around are very funny, and I would make that a punk album if I could.
Dude, fucking somewhere in the UK, that guy that everybody knows is Banksy is losing his mind.
He's just, like, trying to come up with the perfect peanut stencil.
He's like, I need to shepherd fairy this motherfucker.
Like, this squirrel's gonna take me to my next zenith.
I'm gonna get this fucking peanut into the Louvre.
Yeah.
That would be great.
I mean, you know, but for real though, Rip Peanut, you were killed needlessly.
I mean, I get it.
The guy was probably committing a crime because he's a, like, dickhead idiot or whatever, but at the same time, just put it in a cage until you sort it out, you know?
How hard is it to feed it, like, twice a day?
Maybe that's just me.
But I don't own a pet because I'm not responsible enough to not kill them, which is why I could also never be a cop.
Bazinga.
Anyway, let's move on.
More light and fluffy news ahead of our world-ending apocalyptic segment at the end of the back half of the show.
So here we go.
Time for light and breezy.
We're talking about Kalief being a man again.
Yes, that's right.
She is a he.
Everybody's a man.
We're all men.
Yeah.
So Imani Khalif re-entered the spotlight because...
Of her excellent boxing?
Yes.
Because of her incredible striking power?
Yes.
Do you remember when she lightly tapped her competitor in the Olympics and that lady folded like origami and then started crying?
Yes.
By such a devastating punch, who knows I would have found such a strong opponent in the Olympics.
Yes.
Who knew I would have fought a world-class opponent at the Olympics?
How could I have possibly seen this coming?
Oh, God.
Get your yobcha ass out of here!
Get out of here!
We don't need any yobchas!
Dragon Ball Z reference.
Here we go.
The old L is back.
Every ten minutes, just say a reference to take the load off.
Yeah, so a couple days before the election, it was on Sunday, the Trump campaign, and it was direct from the Trump campaign, posted the most, they said posted the most ridiculous ad I've ever seen.
I practically fell off my couch at how ridiculously red meat, psychotic, racist, insane this thing was.
It was just this, like, Angry narrator saying, they called our free speech hate speech.
And it was just all this just hard right, lunatic bullshit.
And then at the, like, they hadn't even gone to the Imani Khalif part of the video.
And then they smash cut to her and they say, men beating up women.
And then they keep going and I'm waiting at the end for it to say, paid for by MAGA Freedom Pack.
And then it was like, nope, Trump Vance 2024.
I'm Donald Trump and I approve this message.
And I was like, holy shit!
This is direct from them!
This is the most psychotic thing I've ever seen!
This makes the Kamalas for they-them ads look fucking tame by comparison.
This is...
So the way you frame it, baby, dude, like, again, the new hell world, it's Pleasantville, but also Saw, so...
It's actually, it's not an attack ad or, like, a hate-mongering ad, it's like a positive, like, it's a guy in a business suit coming home, and they're just like, men beating up women!
And then he just starts wailing on his wife for whatever reason, and then Trump's like there with the two thumbs up, he's like, again, great again, remember?
It was so good last time, we loved it.
Yeah.
And so...
I saw the commercial and I rolled my eyes.
And then the next day, people started posting shit where they were like, hey, did you see the report?
It's all true.
And basically, some right-wing hack site called Redux posted a thing claiming that a French journalist obtained evidence from an examination of Imani that was done in France in 2023.
And what was so funny about this is in the original story when this happened, she got popped by a Russian-backed company that were backed by Putin.
And she'd beaten an undefeated Russian fighter.
And then suddenly this test came up and said...
Disqualified, you have some sort of abnormality that throws your gender into question.
No, we're not going to tell you what it was, but you can't compete anymore.
Go fuck yourself.
And then the IOC broke ranks with that company.
They tested Imani.
They decided that she passed their test and they certified her for the Olympics.
Yenina Yenina.
So again, the whole story around why she flunked a test for some sort of gender qualification was shrouded in mystery.
It was totally in the dark.
People were speculating about why she failed it, but no one ever said anything.
The story that came out from this right-wing hack site was that she'd been examined by French doctors in 2023, and they found that she had internal testicles and a micropenis.
And somehow this all got swept under the rug and was not brought to anyone's attention, and she was allowed to box in 2024.
And when I bring this up to people, they claim HIPAA laws, basically.
They're just like, oh, those doctors couldn't come forward with that information.
And I'm like, no, you're telling me this was an exam to see if she was allowed to compete in the Olympics.
That's not a private thing.
That's an actual thing that would be released to the public.
That's not something that can be hidden.
And then they just sort of start yelling at me.
And I told one guy, I said, so your argument is either this was an actual test to see if she was legitimately going to be able to compete in the Olympics.
The test revealed all this shit, and they buried it for some reason.
Or Imani, who's Algerian, and by the way, Algeria hates trans people.
It's illegal to be gay or trans in Algeria.
Somehow went to France in 2023, got sick, was treated by doctors in France, and those doctors just happened to find her internal testicles and micropenis in their examinations, and then covered that up.
And then a journalist found that information a day after Trump released an attack ad about calling her a man.
Even as they've just never seen a clip before.
I hear that that is somehow...
I've asked several women this question over the course of my life.
I'm just like, that has to be a joke, right?
That's like a funny goof that they only tell in sitcoms because that seems impossible.
And they're just like, no, it's absolutely true.
It's 100% true.
And I'm just like, incredible.
I mean, what a gender, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, so this bullshit story is now confirmation.
Every bigot was right about her.
She's totally a dude.
Elon Musk, J.K. Rowling, all the rest of them, 100% confirmed.
Just looking up the information about this on my phone, managed to make Google, like, fuck my algorithm so hard that the top post on my phone was from, like, the Indian Times.
Imani Khalif, proven man, confirmed.
Fuck!
God damn it!
So, it was just the best.
But again, the story has been confirmed.
I mean, the evidence is irrefutable.
Yes!
Shockingly, this has gone nowhere.
No mainstream journalist has touched us with a 20-foot pole.
There is no evidence that she failed, that she was examined in any way, shape, or form, or that she has internal testicles or any of this shit.
It's just absolute bullshit.
But that didn't stop these people from publishing it, and I saw it on Reddit.
I saw it all over Twitter.
It's all over social media now that people are posting this fake report and screaming, boom!
Vindicated!
Nailed it!
Yeah!
We were right all along!
Mirka!
Freedom!
And more than half of America agrees.
This is how this works now.
You ready for a quick little zigzag off the path of what I have written here for the Amos Bush?
How's this segue?
Mike, people in America have voted with their full throat that they want us to return to their favorite America, ancient Greece.
The sanctity of sports, men beating up women, men taking male boy concubines.
Yeah!
I'm assuming y'all saw that crazy shit?
Yes.
A guy who claims he canoed Bin Laden in the head, talking about how he wants to fuck Harry Sisson, to be more exact, and eat him.
Yeah, and then he doubled down on it, too.
Maybe even tripled down on it at this point.
Somebody was just like, I don't think you know what concubine means.
I mean, like, that's got implications.
And he's just like, no, fucking loser, I mean it.
You'd be my concubine.
And I'm telling you, thread one out of six, in no uncertain terms, I want to stress that what I mean is that I want to have sex with you, a biological male, as a biological male.
But no gay stuff.
Just sex between two guys.
With you on the bottom.
Thread two out of six.
Because I am the alpha.
Oh god, six of these, huh?
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm just so confused.
Like, I don't understand...
I mean, I guess it's just, like, high T just makes you stupid, but at some point you get, like, too worked up, and eventually you're gonna say something incredibly gay.
Like, it's just always been true.
I mean, I remember it happening when I was, like, in high school, like, just around a bunch of, like, young teen boys.
And eventually it would lead to people getting into a verbal fight before a scrap happens.
And right around the time that people get worked up to the point where they start taking off their shirts because they think they're about to fight is when they start saying some accidentally gay shit.
And it's just always been really funny.
But you would expect that an adult man who's typing it would be able to catch that before sending it.
You have to have some pretty needy intent to get that out there.
This guy wants five young boy concubines.
He wants the world to know that.
It's like Monkey D. Luffy saying how many members of his crew he wanted.
Hey, One Piece reference.
Yeah, I mean, what you're saying is that's what happens when there's like two teenage guys in the hallway at a school and they've been beefing all day.
And then like suddenly one of them just like throws their backpack down.
And then like it's inevitable right before they get into like they start locking up and throwing blows.
One of them will say something stupid like, I'm gonna eat your ass!
And then they start hitting, and then literally all anyone remembers is the ass-eat comment.
Yeah, or I'm gonna fuck your ass.
That was always a good one, because it was just like, I'm gonna fuck you up, or I'm gonna kick your ass, and then the testosterone gets all up in your brain, and suddenly you can't stop ripping your shirt off, and you're thinking about fucking this guy's ass.
Yeah.
Buddy, I'm gonna fuck your ass!
And it's just like, oh, he clearly meant to say kick his ass, a bystander, and he stopped the fight, and you're just like, no!
I want you to know!
I don't know, I meant it!
I meant what I said!
Yeah, exactly.
Fucking Horton, here's a who over here.
Oh, what an episode.
Okay, yeah, I need to talk about that concubine guy because that was such a funny thing.
Somebody on Twitter, I wish I had saved their name, but they had the exact same brainwave I did.
As soon as I heard that comment, I was just like, wow, that's a real I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast moment, referencing Happy Gilmore.
And then the next tweet I saw about it was a guy posting that.
I was like, good on you, brother.
We're on the same brainwave.
Alright, so it's time for us to get into Boosh Topic, the second to last, with the last being the Arizona segment that we always do.
And that is Blue Anon Gone Wild.
I don't know what this is.
How could Blue Anon be going wild over anything right now?
They should be fucking mad silent.
They claim the election was both rigged and stolen.
So we've now got conspiracy theories that this election was rigged, that it was stolen somehow from Kamala Harris by the Russians.
And just evidence, any of it coming out?
The evidence is that Biden got 81 million votes and Kamala's gotten much less than that.
And there's no way 15 million Democrats sat out this election, so...
Obviously, Q-Team stole tens of millions of ballots and kept them away from being processed.
Toy Story meme where Woody is yelling at Buzz, telling him that he is a toy, except it is Woody yelling at those people, telling them that President Joe Biden is a man.
Is a man!
He was a male candidate, which is why he achieved a narrow victory.
Because a bunch of people were...
It turns out there are people on the fence, and there's some things they can't abide.
Like women.
It's like, ooh, we hate them.
Which is, like, pretty funny to...
I mean, really?
It's almost 2025.
That's cute, in a way.
But also incredibly dangerous.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, and our boy, our homie, the man who's soon to be like a multi-millionaire because he's going to run this grift to the fucking moon, Jay Stu, was actually telling Kamala Harris to do a coup and keep Trump from power earlier today.
So, yeah.
We got that shit going on.
Jay Stewart said also something really weird last night, which I'm going to read.
The Latino vote was targeted by psychological warfare systematically.
They have less options for content, and they got blanketed.
They have no idea they're going to be put in camps.
He talks about us like we literally have small little brains and don't have access to, like, a normal media diet like non-Latinos.
Yeah, I mean, J-Stu is like, you know, J-Stu is the fucking Scooby-Doo friend meme of somebody like, I've got this conservative all bound up, let's see who they really are, and you pull the mask off as J-Stu.
He's literally just one special interest pivot away from being the most conservative guy you've ever fucking met.
If it wasn't for the fact that he's psychotically obsessed with Michael Flynn being Q and that being dangerous to the country, the moment that he either...
If he could ever work through that problem with a therapist, he would be the next Joe Rogan.
He'd be using his platform for nothing but the hottest red shit.
He'd be like, you know what?
Maybe trans people shouldn't exist, you know?
Here's why.
Special guest, Chris Tucker.
Not Chris Tucker.
That would be wild.
That would be a crit.
Anything's possible.
You know, 2025 is shaping up to be a wild one.
We haven't even got there yet, but I'm staring down the barrel of a banner year.
Anyway, we're going kind of loopy.
But yeah, so anything besides, like, I'm assuming the irony of this is just completely lost on them.
They don't care that this is just exactly them being the thing they hate.
They're like, we actually love being the thing we hate, really.
Yeah, basically.
They're trying to get a hashtag don't concede Kamala trending on Twitter.
There's all kinds of stuff.
People just screaming about irregularities and I don't believe the whole country moved right and all that kind of shit.
It's all your standard evidence-free QAnon shit only now being used by leftists in order to try to figure out how the election was stolen from them, which...
I don't think leftists care.
If only there were some sort of global indication that this election might go conservative.
I can't imagine that those people have been paying attention at all.
But this is not like, you know, we're not the epicenter of the earthquake that causes this wave to ripple across the country.
We're getting hit by the wave, dude.
Like, this has been...
Shit has already been happening across the world.
Like, stuff has got everybody spooked real bad.
It's conservative time.
Which is why, you know, I didn't want to say shit.
Like, I did feel a little complacent going into...
The voting, but I couldn't shake the negative feeling.
And then when I woke up to the headlines, I was just like, yeah, I mean, that tracks, I guess.
Everything was indicating that was going to happen.
Still bummer, though.
Yep.
It's like when you know your pet is on its way out.
Still doesn't make anything less of a bummer when you wake up one morning and you're just like, oh, the thing I loved is dead.
It's dead now.
It's dead.
There was an indication that things were looking bad, so I should have been prepared for it.
And yet, here it is, and it's dead.
And I'm still sad about this.
I thought I had made my heart jaded about this thing leading up to this, but not enough.
Now I'm sad, because it's dead.
Yep.
America was our Peanut.
Instead of being murdered by the cops, Peanut just got old and gray and lost his sprightly bounce.
Unfortunately, conservatives were too quick to leap upon Peanut.
So we don't get to talk about Peanut with reverence until we make our pivot.
I mean, like, we will politely wait for the G-men to come and abduct Haley, probably while we're recording, for being both a woman and of impure blood.
You and I, we're white dudes, baby!
Sky's the limit!
I mean, the audience can't see it, but if we put you in a straw hat and give you a banjo right now, you would be, it would be like a fucking immunity idol.
You look like you're Amish for Trump voter.
Yeah, I am!
Scott Pressler fucking banged down my door day after day, and I finally caved in.
Me and Scott, we shared a nice glass of raw milk.
It was great.
Yeah, it simultaneously looks sharp, but it does give Amish in a strong way, which is really funny to me.
So it's just like, yeah, we can use...
I've been all day, I've been reminding my friends that have the privilege of their privilege of just like, guys, white dude smoke bomb.
Like, we just blend in, baby.
Blend in with the crowd.
Like, it's gonna get bad.
I mean, Elon Musk loves the idea of literal cyberpunk dystopia to the point where he laid the groundwork for what's about to happen by putting ugly cyberpunk cars on the streets.
Those things look hideous, but that's the future he wants.
And now, he gets a whole department of government efficiency to make it happen.
He's gonna be like, you know what would make this city more effective?
If we got rid of all the streets and we made it one giant megacity, ends it like, if it was just like all enclosed in one huge structure, an armed police, faceless, with absolute authority, could patrol and kill anywhere they wanted.
Is that what Neuralink is?
Is he gonna put Johnny Silverhand in all our brains?
Dude, is he going to put a cool fucking punk rock anarchist who would blow up a nuke in a Corpo building?
No, dude, that's not what he's going to be putting in all of us.
We're going to be getting commercials for cars that look like Cybertrucks.
Oh, thank God.
He's going to come out with Cybercar.
He's going to reinvent the car by making the car.
And then he's going to be like, hey, you know how you're going to get around this city?
I've got this great idea for a thing.
It's sort of like a car, but it's on rails.
And it moves around, and each one carries several people.
And it stops at intervals.
And it's just like, give me the train.
He's like, no!
It's a new thing!
And I invented it!
And you're going to prison!
The word train is illegal in this free speech zone.
You are being inefficiency detected.
And then the shitty looking robots he built comes out, which are just people that they pay less than minimum wage to print.
It's like, well, you're not a real employee, so you don't get a minimum wage.
You're a contractor.
We pay you what we want.
So put on the suit, pretend to be a robot, and say, efficiency detected.
And then we want you to rough this guy up real bad.
Whenever Elon Musk gives a signal, you were to get out of the car and rough up a guy while saying efficiency detected.
Yeah, it was just like, it's so bulky and clunky, it's really hard to throw punches.
No, you do it.
You fucking do it.
Use whatever part of your body works.
That's what Elon would do.
He's a real go-getter.
Yeah.
It's like, really?
All I've ever seen him do is sit in a car, wave his head, and expect me to rough a guy up.
Are you questioning me?
Wave's hand.
I'm not against emergency.
It's robot inception.
it's just you It's just robots beating up complaining robots all the way down.
See, I'm already practicing for my conservative pivot by allowing myself to be tickled picked by just the mere idea of some dudes tuning up a guy.
It's funny because he's getting tuned up.
It's violent.
Okay, speaking of...
Speaking of tuned up and violent, let's talk about Arizona every week.
We talk about Arizona.
We have an Arizona correspondent.
Her name is Shaylee, aka Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, or AZRW. She'll soon be our Guatemalan correspondent after January 20th when she's rounded up by Elon.
I'm sure she doesn't come from Guatemala, but they don't know that.
They don't care.
We will be instructed to disavow any knowledge of her ever existing.
They'll be bookkeeping for somebody else.
We'll just be like, and here's our third co-host, nobody, because there's never been a third co-host.
What a funny joke, me.
Or we'll just magically be Sarge again.
He's white and male.
He'll be back at gunpoint.
They'll be one of those robot costume dudes at the background of every shot.
Just waiting to tune him up.
Every game starts, so the line on the show, he like turns nervously to the robot and the robot just gives him a thumbs up.
It's like, oh, thank God.
He's basically specially modified.
He's just got, like, a green or a red LED to indicate whether or not he's happy with Sarge's performance.
Yes.
Even though whenever it turns red, Sarge knows, because he just gets tuned up real bad.
Oh, no, he's got a wrench!
Anyway, best lead-up to the Arizona segment ever?
I think so.
Hi, Hayley!
A.K.H. Hayley, how's Arizona going?
Alright, you know, it could be better.
Um...
I actually...
I feel like we...
I'm kind of...
A lot of the results that are coming in in Arizona are kind of what I predicted a few weeks ago.
But first, Election Day.
There was...
The Turning Point people, even though they seem to be doing pretty well in the races that they were pulling for here, were trying to stir up a bunch of disinformation day of, just claiming that there was no ink at certain election sites.
Which wasn't true.
And there was even a press conference addressing some of their bullshit.
It's just like, they were prepping to call foul, but then it mostly went their way.
So they were just like, we're good.
Um...
There was bomb threats actually throughout the country at polling locations.
But in Arizona, they seem to be targeted more on tribal land.
Four occurred in Navajo County, which is where multiple tribes call home.
And Yeah, so it was kind of a little bit of a...
It was actually pretty calm.
There was no, like, mass protests or anything, but it was like there was a little bit of disruptions on Election Day.
Alright, results so far that we can probably...
Confidently call.
Prop 139, which is the Arizona for Abortion Act, it passed no problem.
That thing smoked it.
Over 60% of the vote, it's been confidently called.
It will expand abortion rights in Arizona and also enshrine the right to an abortion in the Arizona Constitution We'll see how that Holds up in the greater American system over the next decade or so, yeah?
Not to sound too black-pilled.
But anyway.
Also, the thing that passed was overwhelming numbers because Arizona is cool like this.
It's just...
Supernormal state is the Proposition 314, which is an unconstitutional law that we've already been through this about a decade ago.
It was called SB 1070, aka the Show Me Your Papers law.
And Prop 314 will basically empower all law enforcement to act as Border Patrol agents in Arizona.
It kind of empowers them to racially profile.
And yeah, it's a pretty extreme bill.
It'll be challenged, just like the previous unconstitutional SB 1070.
But the sheriff, the Maricopa sheriff who won Jerry Sheridan, or is projected to win, he's like an acolyte of Joe Arpaio.
He grew up He kind of made his earlier career in the Arpaio era, who people may know as the very, very far-right former sheriff who had literal concentration camps in Arizona for prisoners and migrants.
He had deportation squads and posses and was a...
It was like a nightmare of over two decades of this incredibly horrible sheriff who Trump kind of modeled a lot of his anti-immigrant policies after and kind of rhetoric.
And Arpaio, even though he's like a fucking thousand years old and can barely form a sentence, is still paraded out at all the Trump rallies to this day.
So that...
Plus the Trump win.
It's just gonna be a rough time in Arizona for migrants.
Prop 312 seems like it'll comfortably pass, which is an anti-homeless bill here.
Got em!
Take away from them everything and leave them nothing.
Like, literally nothing.
Um...
And also, even though the abortion access bill passed, we did keep the Arizona Supreme Court judges that upheld the ban from the 1800s.
So again, Arizona politics was making a lot of sense here.
Um, Carrie Lake is losing at the moment.
Um, this race is tighter.
This, I don't know, there's some, you know, it's just like, uh, yeah, obviously the Kamala got smoked, but like...
Gallego was projected to smoke Cary Lake, and currently the race is tightening up, and there's still a couple more ballot dumps.
So I'm pretty sure he'll still win, but this is not what was expected whatsoever.
Currently, there's also some seats that may flip in the House and Senate.
Arizona may have a tied legislature, which would be kind of funny.
Mark Fincham is back.
We did a whole episode on him a few weeks ago.
People should go listen to that.
This man is incredibly pilled and evil.
Trump is definitely ahead here, and it seems to be increasing with every ballot dump.
Justin Heap...
Who beat Stephen Richer, who is the Maricopa recorder here, who, like, infamously was the target of threats.
He won the election, and he's kind of like an idiot turning point lackey.
Like, this man does not have a functioning brain.
He will just be...
In, like, do whatever Turning Point says.
I want to acknowledge that of all times to mention a guy whose name is Justin Heap.
Discussing it while, like, talking about ballot counting is a pretty good time for that, you know?
Like that, or maybe, like, raking leaves.
Another good time for Justin Heap.
Um...
So anyway, Arizona has some pretty good wins.
It has a lot of bad results, which is why, similar to the general public, there is a lot of Blue Anon kind of shit here because people are like, these results make no sense.
But it makes a lot of sense if you kind of, like, follow Arizona politics.
I even made a prediction, like, two weeks ago on my Blue Sky that is almost exactly these results.
So, you know, if you just pay attention to politics, you kind of see where things are swaying.
Let's see.
Was there any races that you cared about here, Mike, at all?
Just Carrie Lake?
Everything I've seen since Gallego has won.
So that is...
I've seen a lot of places have called Gallego beating Lake, so if she were to somehow bamboozle this, it would be quite surprising.
The last ballot dump in Pima County, which is a hard blue area, favored Lake in numbers that were pretty...
So currently the split between them is about 60,000 ballots, and there's still like three ballot dumps that'll happen, at least.
So this could actually get pretty close.
And it shouldn't be this close.
Gary Lake should have gotten fucking smoked.
But Ruben Gallego, I'm just gonna say, I'm not a fan of Ruben Gallego.
I think he kind of sucks.
He used to try to appeal to the progressives, but then very openly abandoned the more progressive caucus.
And just this last election cycle basically asked the...
DOJ to drop their investigation into the Phoenix police, which I think that's a big reason why we're seeing him not do as well, is because the Phoenix police are infamously out of control here and constantly committing some pretty extreme acts of violence that make national news.
And there's been like a DOJ report that kind of highlighted all that.
And they want to take over the Phoenix Police Department and oversee them.
And it's all been stalling because of the Phoenix City Council, which includes Gallego's ex-wife.
And Gallego Rubin wrote a letter basically in defense of the police and asking them to drop the decree, which was very controversial here.
Because, like, yeah, the police here...
Nobody likes the fucking Phoenix police here and everybody knows they need oversight.
And it's like, dude, you don't have to do this.
You're already smoking Cary Lake.
And I honestly think that that was a pretty big reason why this is closer than it should be.
But yeah, Trump winning.
A lot of people said that they did not notice ground game for Trump, as far as get out the vote stuff.
There was a ton of that in Arizona because Turning Point USA is headquartered here.
So a lot of the focus...
They brought people from all 50 states to come knock doors.
Arizona was where Turning Point USA put their main focus.
And it seems that besides Carrie Lake, they got most of the candidates that they were pushing for, including some pretty extreme, awful people.
So that blows.
And it means that, like, Turning Point USA will become an even bigger fucking problem, which is...
I'm not looking forward to that, so...
Yay!
At least we got abortion enshrined to the Arizona Constitution.
Brother Mike.
Yes.
Sister Chaley didn't seem to like my hilarious, but more importantly, family and Christ-friendly joke about Justin Heap.
So I think that we might need to put a call into that tip line and then get Sarge on the phone.
I think some inefficiencies were detected there.
Yeah, absolutely.
This is Praise Ventures in Christ World?
Damn it!
I mean, darn it!
Gosh darn it!
Time to get out the old whip and give myself a nice self-flagellation.
Get the kind of nine tails out and scourge yourself for your...
Nine?
Dude, I'm bumping it up to twelve tails over here.
Everybody having such filthy thoughts?
You wouldn't believe it.
I saw more than a lady's ankle.
Oh, God.
Oh, oh.
My brother in Christ that is unbecoming of you.
Oh, man.
Christ?
What?
I thought all this time we were doing like an Allah thing.
I've been doing all that praying for nothing?
And scene.
Because now the time has finally come uninterrupted complaining about the election results.
Actually...
If it's about Arizona, it better be incredibly interesting.
Well, the Arizona Senate may actually flip, like the state Senate, because Justine Wadsack lost her primary earlier this year to an old crone named Vince Leach.
And Turning Point USA, she was working for Turning Point USA's Chase the Vote, their Get Out the Vote thing.
And she refused to...
She refused to campaign for Vince Leach and actually actively told people to not vote for him.
So he will actually not win and that will make a possible flip as far as the Arizona Senate.
So Justine Wadstack is still doing great things here in the state of Arizona.
She helped turn the Senate blue possibly.
Well done, person I've never heard of.
I know some people here are just big AZ heads.
They're just here for the hot AZ action.
We love them.
We love them the same way we love all of our beautiful lambs.
Anyway, time for, again, once again, time for our headline news segment where we get to do uninterrupted complaining about the election results.
From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Cues in the News.
Actually, I think it's democracy at work, and I'm pretty cool with it, because I'm allowed to be.
Boom, there we go.
Privilege activated.
Podcast over.
No thanks to DJ Minimal Effort for our bumps.
Yeah, exactly.
No, it's a sad day.
It's a bummer of a day, but I mean, this time it wasn't...
It wasn't close, right?
It wasn't close to close.
It seems like our boy DJT posterized Kamala Harris.
Unfortunately, there's, like, sexual politics and dynamics in play, so I can't say, or I shouldn't say that he put his nuts in her face.
It's a basketball thing, but, you know...
But yeah, it's a sad time.
There's some photographer on the sidelines getting a great shot of Donald Trump just taking this one to the hoop over Kamala Harris in a way that was unfortunate but predictable.
The finger pointing began.
I think it was Mike's fault.
Oh yeah, that's fine.
I accept blame for this.
It's probably me.
I probably did this.
It is just really frustrating that this is where we are.
And what drives me nuts is the finger-pointing mostly, because I just see all these people with incredibly stupid takes that make me just want to rip my head off my shoulders and kick my head down the street.
I don't know how I would do that because I'd be dead immediately.
But imagine it, cartoon style.
Imagine that I'm a Who Friend Roger Rabbit character.
But the thing is, is that in 2020...
You're playing with fire asking us to do that while you're dressed that Amish.
You're going to be Amish forever.
It's fine.
If we had artistically inclined friends that were go-getters or listeners, they could draw you as one of them.
Looking like foghorn leghorn, but also, you know, Amish.
That's fine.
I'll have to post a photo of myself in my Amish attire so that everyone can...
Are you going to dox yourself?
My God.
But Mike, imagine the docks.
But...
The thing is, is that in 2022, the red wave didn't happen.
All of Trump's handpicked candidates like Dr.
Oz and Herschel Walker and Kerry Lake and all those clowns all lost.
The Republicans barely won the House.
They didn't win the Senate.
And Donald Trump was staring down the barrel of like one million indictments.
And if you said at that moment, you know what needs to happen right now is Joe Biden needs to step down so we can immediately begin an aggressive Democratic primary for the nomination.
You would have been considered a crazy person, and yet now I'm just hearing all these people just being like, God damn it, Sleepy Joe, why didn't you step down quicker?
And I just don't think a lot of people saw this coming, that Trump would have this kind of strength in the initial primary, that he'd be polling well against Biden, then Biden fucks up the debate.
And on and on, and now you've got Harris jumping into the middle of this race, trying to slapdash, put everything together, and run a campaign against Trump.
And she has to run against the fact that this country apparently just will not elect a woman to be president under any circumstances.
Yeah, I mean, that was the primary, before Sleepy Joe melted down on that, like, during that debate, and it was clear that, like, he kind of was, his hand was forced, that he had to step down.
I assume there were some handsome genius on this podcast being like, well, if Joe Biden steps down, then Kamala, like, steps in.
There's, like, there's no way she gets elected.
And that's primarily because I never really had faith in...
I don't have enough faith in my fellow man in this country to have them think that they will allow themselves to be governed by a woman.
I feel like the misogyny in this country still runs too deep for that shit to ever fly, which sucks.
I mean, we've taken a couple of good stabs at it recently, but instead of finally getting through that glass ceiling and being trailblazers for history and positive influences on generations to come, we've instead affirmed that that's actually the way it goes around here at these parts, that we don't want no women.
We don't want no ladies with no nuclear codes, no sir.
That burden is too big for a smaller genetically brain.
It's science.
Don't ask us to back it up, because we won't.
End of questions.
Yeah.
Well, the other thing that was like so weird was early on election day, you had like Charlie Kirk, like freaking out on Twitter, telling people to get men to the polls.
You had like Stephen Miller doing the same thing.
It looked like Republicans were shitting themselves all day.
And then results come in and it's like, oh, look, Trump's just crushing.
It's just dominant Trump everywhere.
It's Trump all day, every day.
And I just can't wrap my head around the fact that it appeared his own campaign was very worried about what was happening and that it didn't look like things were breaking their way.
It was like, oh no, it just breaks your way super hard.
I think that's what we call a political theater and they were trying to just get out the boat.
Maybe.
But the thing is, I've never seen Republicans ever use fear as a motivator.
Republicans are always acting from a position of strength.
They're always just like, hey man, get out there and crush Kamala and her little gay friend Tim Walz.
let's do this hashtag mega you i never see because like people always talk about that when you get your uh texts from the different campaigns like the republican at the republican texts are always like ridiculously confident and swaggery and the democratic texts are always like we're about to go into business we're totally fucked rush 20 to keep us online so that would help us save democracy but with like tears in their eyes yes yes yes like a like a wikipedia i get it
you're doing a service you need money but i don't know like the way they make their appeals it's just so Yeah, so pleaty.
It's like puppy doggy.
It's real bad.
For a cup of coffee, it's real bad.
You can make it better for coffee.
So do it, please.
Versus, yes, the incredibly potent, powerful virility of Donald Trump and Elon Musk.
My God.
They have so much money and therefore big penises.
I forgot to mention that.
I forgot to mention that on election day when I was wandering around polling sites, there were...
There were people with the Elon pack, the America pack, asking, do you want to sign the Elon?
Oh shit, people smoking that Elon pack?
Yep.
Hell yeah, dude.
It's like, you can't escape the fucking guy.
Like, you know, even his even his freaks are out at the polling sites, like bugging you to sign his petition, which I didn't know just asks you, do you support the First and Second Amendment?
It's literally just the most obvious, like, like data harvesting scam.
Well, yeah, do you support women being safe?
Whether they want to be or not.
They're just like, oh shit, I wasn't that interested until that last part.
That gives it sort of like a cool vibe.
Can you tell that my faith in this country and its people have been damaged today?
Not at all.
I have always, will always love America.
America forever, USA number one.
A completely unrelated note, I know that this has certainly increased my percentage of this.
I think it's a funny thought experiment for you.
What percentage of Americans do you think would sell their vote outright for $100?
Like a cool hundo right in their hand, physical cash, tax-free.
Here's $100 United States for your vote.
Please vote Donald Trump.
I'd say at least 25% of Americans would do that.
How about you, Chaley?
Yeah, I'd say like a good...
I bet that, you know, we don't talk about this part of the country much, but, like, nearly half of the damn country that is eligible to vote doesn't vote.
You want to get those people voting?
Slap 100 in their hand.
It's true.
The voter turnout would be huge.
But, like, huge enough to get people out.
I mean, so, is your number higher than likes?
No.
I have a figure in my head, my personal one.
I think you would have to boost it to, like, a thousand, because a hundred bucks, it's like, you want me to go vote?
In some states, you want me to go physically drive to a location and stand in line for, like, an hour or two?
That's...
You're gonna have to give me more than a hundred bucks for that.
I mean, that's fair.
Let's take travel and all the waiting in lines and shit out of the equations.
Like, if you could just push a button, blue or red, or the dusty third button that is, like, flickering and dim, and, like, we should largely ignore...
That button needs a lot of work, you know?
But yeah, if you just thought it was a buy, if it just came down to it, somebody could vote red or blue.
I think roughly a third.
I'd say between 30 and 35% of people would just, for outright $100, just be like, fuck it, I don't care enough, I'd rather have $100.
That's a video game.
That's one and not quite a half of a video game.
Wasn't there a movie called The Button?
No, there was a movie called...
Oh, the movie The Button was like, yeah, you press this button and you get a pile of money, but someone randomly dies.
It's kind of the lesser extreme version of that.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's mostly just, like, how many people are checked out enough to just, or stupid enough to just be blinded by 100 smackers, you know?
And I think the number's pretty high.
I think that people don't care, or the only thing they care about is the money that they can tangibly use to buy the stuff that they want or need.
And that's all they care about.
And a lot of their decision-making in life comes down to what benefits them the best financially.
Yeah.
Either because they are forced to do so or because that is the life they've chosen for themselves.
Yeah.
I... God.
Yeah, a hundred bucks.
I don't know.
I mean, for me, it would be kind of funny because it would be like one of these things where I'd have to be like, well, I'm in Massachusetts, so it really doesn't matter.
But then if everyone felt that way, we could turn Massachusetts red for a hundred smackers for everybody.
Yeah.
And that is why we have a secret ballot, literally, is to stop people from being paid for their votes.
Because back in the day, that was a form of election fraud that was going on in America.
Well, if you ever do manage to flip the state of Massachusetts red, you guys can just chalk it up as one thing you're doing better than Pennsylvania.
Fuck you, Pennsylvania.
You suck.
We hate you.
Sorry, I can't speak for the show, but I hate you.
This is not a good time to be rooting for Pennsylvania.
It never really is, because, I mean, come on, guys.
Not really.
They're not great.
How did you become so goddamn important?
You're doing nothing.
You're going on literal fumes from like 60 years ago or whatever.
Yikes.
Yeah, I think media thought that Arizona would be important because there's currently so many fucking journalists here, like national, international, because they thought Arizona would matter and it ended up not even needing to be part of the equation.
And some, like, troll messaged me on Twitter and was like, I'm glad your fucking state didn't matter this election or something to that effect.
And I was like, he was right.
We didn't matter this election.
Yeah, I mean, well, Pennsylvania and Georgia both decided to fucking go the way of lunacy, and that was that.
It was just like, okay, well...
That was fun.
That's fun and confusing and predictable all at the same time.
It's just like, okay.
And now those states will quietly go back into their slumber.
Except for Atlanta fading into irrelevancy until they start getting like Godzilla!
It's the election cycle!
The electoral college is determined!
It's Pennsylvania!
Time to talk about that for like eight months.
So disappointing.
I'm really disappointed in you.
You would think that the state producing Philadelphia Eagles fans would be better than this.
You'd be wrong.
Dead wrong.
We need a candidate that can bridge the Sheetz and Wawa divide that obviously tears Pennsylvania apart, because I have to fucking hear about that every election cycle.
The big battle in Pennsylvania between their two chains of, I assume, convenience stores.
I think they're gas stations.
I'm going to propose this draft for the Dems going forward, because what they're doing now, what they're cooking with recently has not been working.
And that is, here's the new bull strategy for reaching out to these people.
Stop doing it, you know?
Stop palling around in the middle.
Let's get fired up.
Let's take a couple of restructuring years and let's fire up an actual social progressive base with enough groundswell to do a thing.
Let's wait for some old people to die.
It's bad now, but it's going to be tough for it to be worse than the next four years is going to be.
Let's do a Patriots football franchise.
Let's go into a hibernation for an indeterminate amount of seasons before hopefully roaring back to reclaim the crown as the greatest ever to do it.
Which looks like it will be taken directly off the top of the head of the Kansas City Chiefs, because man, that team cannot lose a game.
Nope, they fucking can't.
Those scripts are getting immaculate for those cats.
What a good script.
Remember last week when the script was just like, and then Saquon Barkley does a backwards hurdle over a guy, and everybody was just like, cool, this is a plausible thing that everyone has seen before.
Yes, that was wild.
I'm sorry, Chandler, you looked like you had something to say.
I'm just, I was, I'm very on your side about the, like, they need to do a little bit restructuring to whatever that they're doing right now, the Democratic Party.
Today I've been getting spammed with emails from them.
They're already asking, they're like, I get 10,000 signatures, you must sign.
Add your name so Donald Trump can be prosecuted.
It's like, don't start already with this bullshit.
Don't start with this horse shit!
Donald Trump prosecuted for what?
The guy currently prosecuting Trump, literally the moment it was called for him, had to begin the process of winding that old train down.
Because you can't do that.
It turns out that that is a thing that you cannot do.
And Trump was correct.
Getting back into the White House does make him immune to all of that.
So, congratulations.
It turns out it was White House or Big House, and he chose White House and got there.
The Dolphins just wanted it more.
I don't know.
It's tough.
This is a tough pill to swallow.
Because for the first time in 20 years, they won the popular vote too.
I mean, this is like literally the country was just like, dog, like, we love what Trump's got going on.
And it's just like, isn't that just like being like openly racist and misogynistic and like transphobic and just like all the shit that we've been working really hard to sort of like get forward momentum on?
And they're just like, yeah, we hate that forward momentum.
We fucking hate it real bad.
We all collectively wish it was 1996 again.
You took the R word and the F slur away from us and we want both of them back.
So we're taking them.
I've seen tremendous uptick of both of those.
That was like one of the last week of the campaign, like breaking news stories was that Trump wanted to use the R word against Joe Biden.
He wanted that to be his new nickname against Biden after the campaign.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, crazy.
I mean, I see it casually flying around on Twitter, and not from the toxic places you would normally expect it, just sort of like people just throwing strays out there, like little teasers or testers, or maybe they sort of got the inkling on the wind that maybe you can throw back out there, they've secretly wanted to say it.
I'm assuming a lot of these people are probably from Boston, where that was like a fucking pronoun out there for those people to be thrown around so often.
It was fucking crazy.
Those people love calling stuff that word.
And you know, I said it a lot growing up.
I'm not immune to that.
I mean, I've said all of the forbidden words, and if anybody's ever going to grill me about that, it's just like, yeah, I was stupid and ignorant a long time ago.
I said a lot of shit I shouldn't have.
And you just try to get better.
But A lot of people want to get worse, and the way the wind is blowing, they're getting cosigned by the wind.
They're just like, dude, yeah, let it fly, man.
Things are our word.
We believe it again.
Dude, that is totally our word.
It's back, baby.
Everything you don't like, R-word.
And then pretty soon it'll be back to F-word or gay.
I've been hearing gay a lot lately.
Dude, don't bring that back.
She is so gay.
It does, like, somewhere inside of me, like, you know, there's still the adolescent who said that shit like a billion times a day in high school.
I said shit like, dude, everything was that.
It lost all meaning.
It was crazy.
If I could change, you could change too.
Don't let your grandpappy or anybody just be like, I grew up saying that.
Whatever.
I called things gay pejoratively roughly in the vicinity of 20,000 to 30,000 times at least.
No joke.
Maybe way more than that.
If I can change, you can too.
We all make mistakes.
We're all 12-year-old goobers at some point.
Now 12-year-old goobers have the internet.
I think Arnold Weber's mentality just won the popular vote.
It absolutely did.
I mean, like, the fucking, like, people, like, I'm assuming there are a lot of people that cashed in their vote for Donald Trump that are, like, they love that Andrew Tate shit.
They love watching, like, these fucking, like, so allegedly high-T guys and their stupid video exploits, like, and their Bugattis, like, fucking just, like, here's my crib in a country no one's ever heard of because I can't exactly be in the United States right now.
Oh, they high-five each other.
And it's just like, wait, but that's, you just, wait, that's not, that's not good.
But they think it's awesome, you know?
And they love listening to those rock and roll songs that are about sleeping with underage girls because those songs are classic.
And you can never take that away from those songs.
Classic songs with a classic message.
Sleep with underage girls.
Yes.
So, do you guys think that the MAGA far-right fascist fucks will normal out and just live happy with their MAGA king, or do you think they're just gonna lean in more to their vicious hate and conspiracies than we're in for the longest four years of our fucking lives?
It's a ladder by a mile.
The second one, not close.
They're going to hit the trifecta and Donald Trump's going to be like, it's my first order of business.
I'm going to say the Constitution is actually really mutable and it's subject to presidential interpretation and also term limits are a joke and a lie.
And also I wasn't kidding about it being the last election.
Those are over.
It's going to be a pretty fun ride.
We'll see exactly what they think they can get away with.
And considering the old court justices are not getting any younger, at some point we're just going to have a crazy supermajority Supreme Court bloodbred.
Just being like, ah, the law of the land is whatever the fuck we want it to be.
It's about to be a nightmare.
It's going to be a waking nightmare for...
I would be terrified if I wasn't a white guy.
I'd be shitting and pissing all over inside of my pants because I can't imagine it's going to be good for any minority, any woman, any queer person.
Yeah, that's going to be horrible.
Absolutely horrible.
I don't mean to body shame.
We're all big here.
Oh yeah, I'm fat as the day is long.
But, you know, Maha, they might take us out.
What if the Maha squad, the Make America Healthy Again RFK super soldiers start taking us out?
Dude, I'll be like, RFK, baby, I'm taking the drug, baby.
It's working.
I'm down 50 pounds, baby.
I'm doing it, baby.
I'm making myself healthy.
Just let me cook, you know?
I'd be like, I can point to the documents.
I could be like, I've been working on it, my guy.
It's like, I saw the problem, and dude, like our boy Arnold, you know, I saw there was a problem, I moved in there, and I executed on it.
You know, like Commando.
Because he's a fucking boomer.
He'd probably love that reference.
He'd be like, I do love Commando.
He killed so many people.
Like, yeah.
Also, where was he when that fucking dolphin showed up butchered in New Jersey?
Was that like, did RFK have like a werewolf moment?
Like...
Quick hop down to the Jersey Shore to murder her dolphin.
I think I just wanted to get my last little complaint about this fucking election in, because again, this is the complaint about the election section of the pod.
It really just blows my mind that We had one candidate run out on a rail due to their age and lack of acuity.
And then we had a second candidate who literally had that problem, but worse.
And our media treated it as a funny goof, a silly shape.
I said this on Twitter, but when Trump swayed in the breeze for a half hour, literally an ABC News reporter was just like, yeah, some people on the internet are laughing about what happened there, but I was in the building and everyone there had a great time and they were just vibing along with the president and it was just super duper hugs and kisses.
Yeah.
And it's just like, there's literally no other candidate in the universe, especially not a candidate who is 78 with obvious signs of declining mental acuity.
Who would get this ridiculous kid glove treatment from the media over just falling apart like that?
It is wild.
Doesn't matter.
Never did.
He had it in the bag and he knew it.
Yep, pretty much.
And it got worse as those events went on.
I mean, the last rally he was at, wasn't he just like, hey, I don't want to be here.
He's like, you guys get it.
I'd rather be someplace else.
I don't need to be here talking to you fucking idiots.
Oh, yeah.
And they're like, yes!
Talk it out to us, Daddy!
We are beneath you!
He was like, so you get it.
You're all beneath me.
But here I am, so benevolent.
What a benevolent guy.
I'd rather...
I need to go be courting Latinos.
They tell me I need to talk about these Puerto Ricans, these people.
They're not garbage.
I never said they were garbage.
But, you know, they said that I said they're garbage, so...
Anyway, that's my time.
Bye.
And it's just like, yay!
Yeah, exactly.
He was here!
And that was literally all it took this time around.
Ladies and gentlemen, Donald Trump, three hours late, is here.
And he's like, I'm here.
I was on Rogan.
You'll all listen to it because you want to hear me talk about all this stuff.
Even Joe Rogan says I'm crazy.
What a guy.
You know, I know he's just joking.
But if I was crazy, then it turns out that people like crazy.
Maybe I'm like the Joker.
That was my favorite.
The closing argument, the closing kick for Trump featured two different rallies where he talked about the weave, which is how he explains how his dementia impairs his ability to actually communicate properly.
And at two different rallies, he stated that for the moment, he is controlling the weave.
But someday in the future, he will not be able to do this.
And I quote, he said, then we'll talk.
So, like, I just love the idea that he...
They said that inside of me is a dark scion.
That he exists just beyond a veil that we call the weave.
Tremendous veil, the greatest veil.
Luckily, they put it inside of me.
Maybe the most tremendous person to have ever seen a veil or a weave.
Tremendous weave.
Except for my hair.
All natural hair.
It's not a weave.
People then, it was a wig back in the 90s.
It's not a wig or a weave.
Thank you.
Yay!
Again, you know, that's not that far off from what he was doing.
Hannibal Lecter, fucking shark election.
I mean, obviously Kamala lost because she didn't run on a strong enough pro-cow campaign.
Because Trump was just like, Kamala's gonna get rid of the cows.
You...
I'll keep the cows.
And she didn't rebut that salient talking point.
She didn't explain to America that she's actually pro-cow.
It's just like...
Fuck anyone who wants to talk to me about policy or ads or ground game or any of this shit.
This whole election was just vibes.
And the vibe was Trump strong, Democrats inflation bad, economy bad, Trump fix, Trump win.
And that was just it.
It was just like literally the most ephemeral, meaningless election ever that was just totally based on slapdash lunacy because...
Yeah, Mike, because over half of the country are short-sighted rubes, and they only care about finances.
All they care about is the money in their own pocket.
That's all they care about.
Right.
All they care about, and they don't give a fuck about the reasons, and they don't give a fuck that interest rates are about to get slashed again, and they don't give a fuck that we were coming out of a literal historic event in COVID. They don't give a fuck about any of that shit.
They just know that eggs are expensive and they know that they have to buy eggs for their three kids because they know that they don't like pulling out because it feels better to finish inside.
So, now they've got these fucking kids, and the fucking kids eat a lot of fucking eggs, and the eggs are expensive, and they don't care how or why.
Donald Trump says that he's going to charge China 25% on all the stuff they sell to us, and that is going to make the egg prices go down.
And that sounds like math that works out in my head, so he gets my phone.
And it also helps that Elon Musk gave me $100, because eggs are expensive, and I had to buy eggs, and $100 bought me like two cartons of eggs.
Wow, you could get two?
Holy shit!
Well, yeah, because, you know, that tariff thing kicked in already, and it's looking bad now, but it will get better.
Trump says so, and I believe him.
So I can ask you my $100 for two cartons of eggs.
That was literally Elon's statement that once Trump gets in, I'm going to take over shit, and there's going to be quote-unquote temporary hardship.
Literally stating, when we get in, we are going to fuck this country, but it's going to be better in the long run.
And it's like, no it won't.
You're just going to break it, and boy howdy is it going to be fun after you break it.
And then the professor brothers, I just want you to know I am going to fuck this up.
And indeed they will in fun and interesting ways.
Uh, That, again, are unfortunately both are and are not QAnon related.
So it puts us in sort of a pickle.
Yes.
What happens in the QAnon podcast when it's literally just like, talking about the President of the United States Weekly?
What did the President and the Supreme Court do this week?
What a bunch of clowns!
The conspiracies will continue because we live in an era of extreme disinformation.
I guess, but how spicy are they?
I mean, hopefully they would have to get weird again fast, because otherwise they would have to be so boring.
What sort of conspiracies do you cook up when you're completely dominating?
Yeah.
Like, who's your enemy when you're crushing it so bad?
You know?
You're just like, holy shit, we've got this fucking rolled up in the bag?
The full three-fecta?
Like, we're just crushing it so hard, we can't be stopped?
Kamala's a guy!
It's like, okay, cool, but who cares?
Because you beat her.
Who gives a fucking shit?
I think she's gonna, similar to Hillary Clinton, kind of go away for a while.
I mean, Trump's just going to keep complaining about Biden.
Like, I inherited this from Sleepy Joe!
Where's that old man at?
I'm going to yell at him!
I'm going to yell at him from the Oval Office!
This is the president of the goddamn United States, put Joe Biden on the phone.
I don't care if he's napping.
Anyway, okay, let's do a tiny mailbag and get the fuck out of here.
Jensidi presenterer en bomert på jobben i 1955.
Og en bomert på jobben i dag.
Med forsikring fra Jensidie er bedriften din i trygge hender.
Vi har alltid vært der ved små og store UL, og det skal vi fortsette med.
Tiden går.
Jensidie består.
Velkommen til høvleriet.
Eik og list.
Tast N for å tale med Selger.
To for høvleriet.
Og tre for...
Og hva er det du taster nå, egentlig?
To.
To, ja.
Nei, jeg trodde jeg skulle klare å kina tona på tala, skjønner du?
Ja, ja.
Yeah, yeah.
Nei, men du skal jo ha sett hala med meg, du, så det, ja.
Proff opp litt med Eisbedrift.
God dekning, sentralbolløsning og tastevalg til en hyggelig pris.
Så høvleriet Eikolist.
Prøv Eisbedrift.
Our listeners got questions?
We got answers.
It's time for Q and A. What a day.
Eric, the deep state operative, asks, regardless of the outcome of the elections, as was posted before that, I assume, what are the odds of another January 6th?
Zero.
Now that Donald Trump is one of my landslide, zero percent Democrats never have ever had that in them to do.
That's not a thing.
That's like a bad guy play.
That should read wrong because it's a coup.
That's the sort of thing that you should only pull out, like, you know.
Maybe now.
It's never going to happen.
Zero percent.
Oh, yeah.
If I woke up tomorrow and Joe Biden executed Order 66, I'd be like, hey, I mean, that's pretty wild.
Holy shit.
Didn't know the Democrats would do such a thing.
But, no, we're just going to roll over.
My thought would immediately be, didn't think they had it in him.
Yes.
Guess what?
Don't think they have it in him.
No, they don't.
Zero percent chance.
But, yeah.
I would say the Democrats would have been on the fence about buying guns.
I mean...
Here's your sign.
That's a reference to a thing at one point, right?
Like, here you go.
Like, now's the time.
You're legally allowed to own guns.
And it might be a time to, like...
Like, if you ever thought you might need to defend yourself, you know?
Like, depending on your situation in life, it might be now.
Pretty much.
Anyway, 100%.
Or 0%.
100% 0%.
Never gonna happen.
Nope.
Haley?
What?
Will a January 6th happen?
Are we sixing off?
Um, no.
I don't think there will be anything.
There'll be protests.
You know, when Trump was initially inaugurated, it wasn't a coup, but there were left-wing protests, the J-20 protests, and those people were picked up in, like, massive protests.
You know, police roundups.
It was kind of like an infamous case.
And yeah, I think that there will be people that go out in general that protest, not in a January 6th way, this election.
And I think they will be heavily, heavily repressed by the police.
Partially, one, because of the increased militarization around the Capitol and in D.C. because of January 6th.
And yeah, so that's my long answer.
There you go.
Thank you.
That was incredibly insightful.
Cool.
Punching Chaley through the screen with my Amish fist.
Pancake Peasant asks, how do we apply for Hellworld citizenship?
Seems like now is the time.
Please share the national anthem, state bird, and any other relevant trivia.
Hmm.
Hallelujah, because it's royalty-free, and it's about the Lord Jesus.
So we love that one.
The state bird is the dove, also tight with Jesus, historically.
We just love Jesus.
We just love the J-Man here now.
And we rebranded.
It's now Christworld.
And it's Praise Ventures.
Yes.
And it's all about Moroni.
I've decided, much like Russell Brand became a Catholic, I'm going to become a Mormon.
I am going to yearn to read the golden plates and to embrace Moroni and have magic underwear.
And I'm allowed to have sex if I don't move.
What's the vanilla Christianity?
Is it Methodist?
Protestant?
Yeah, Protestant's probably the most generically just...
I just want to be vanilla Christian, you know?
Like, I'm cool with it all, baby.
Dude, that's a sick statue of a saint.
Love it.
That's cool.
I'm a big fan of that.
You know?
Do I think those are cheaters?
Ooh, that's a tough one, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think the hell world bird should be like a pigeon, but it's actually a robot.
Like, birds aren't real.
That's the bird.
Oh, and if it detects you being inefficient, it comes and tunes you out?
Yes!
Gotta maintain peak efficiency because the purge...
Yes!
Yes!
But in traditional Elon fashion, just actors in bird suits perched in, like, trees.
So when they catch you first, they have to, like, climb down.
So it takes a little while.
You can see them coming, so you get, like, a head start.
But they are fit, so they will chase you down.
The Gakinosukai.
How's that for a reference?
My god.
My god!
He came through at the end of the pond with a Gakinosukai reference.
Nobody knows what the hell he was talking about.
All that's going on in my brain right now is I'm wondering if the bird actor, as they're beating the shit out of you, if they yell, inefficiency detected, or if they just chirp like a bird.
Oh, they say it in human voice, for sure.
It's really dissident coming out of their bird face.
Incredibly accurate bird mask.
But also just, like, still, like, black, like, or a bodysuit with, like, robot, like, accoutrements.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Oh, God.
Old Milwaukee says, really?
Right now?
Yes, right now.
We're doing this.
This is happening.
Yeah, dude.
The pressure of the day has turned us into actual morons for this podcast.
I don't know if you noticed where...
Vacillating between being incredibly angry and talking about nothing.
Just insane nonsense.
It's great.
You've got to cope somehow.
Yep.
Oh, boy.
Steph asks who won the election.
You know.
If you don't know already, spoilers.
America.
The Lord Jesus Christ.
The children being harvested for a tree to grow will soon be set free.
You know, all these fucking liberals, they kept saying that democracy was at stake.
And all I see is a lot of Democrat...
Well, no, not Democratic.
All I see is people doing democracy, and they're coming out and saying that they want to be Democrats for Trump.
God damn it, no!
Confused their feeble brains.
But no, they did come out to the polls, and their feeble vote just matters just as much as mine.
In some cases, tremendously more, like a thousand or more percent more than mine.
Yes.
Cleodora Silverstreet asks, how can Elon Musk call himself a goth dark maga when he doesn't have the goth looks?
Where's the black nail polish?
Where's the black lipstick?
Where's the flock of seagulls hairstyle?
I mean, he's got the pasty white skin and the weird posture, so he's got those things going for them.
Although, for the record, there is the subset of Goths that have tremendous posture, the best posture you've ever seen, because they're always walking around like Morticia or Gomez Adams or whatever, so they're just fucking mad straight.
I'm always so jealous of those people.
They got the corset so your body is just like ramrod straight.
And the dudes can just like totally rock like a suit and just effortlessly I'm so jealous of them with their good posture and they're trying for their fashion.
I hate them and the effort they're putting in.
Those no goods.
Elon's the type of guy that calls himself a goth because he wears a trench coat, but they're not goth.
They're just usually weird guys who will ask you for a hug.
Elon Musk would love to snap his fingers and use some amount of his money to make it $2,000 again.
He would absolutely love the year 2000.
Everybody wearing fucking full-length black leather trench coats, including your boy Mysterious L. You know, everybody wearing sunglasses all the time, including your boy Mysterious L. Lots of unfortunate fashion choices, because we all thought The Matrix was just the coolest fucking thing on Earth.
And for the record, that impulse was just misplaced.
It was very important for cinema.
But we didn't need to let it influence so much of our fashion or identities at the time.
Yeah, I'm cool.
I like the internet.
Yeah.
But it's funny, because at the time, looking back on it, it's just like, man, what a bunch of weird goopers making the internet their identity, and then flash forward to 2025, and you're just like, Jesus Christ.
My God.
No, I don't think I will.
Goes back.
Goes back in time.
Just vanishes.
Throws at the deuces, it just disappears like that vine.
Anyway.
So, the final question as always, what are you guys looking forward to?
Fucking nothing.
Nothing, dude.
It's pretty bleak.
No, that's not true.
I've got Friendsgiving happening on Sunday.
That's going to be a warm time filled with love and a bunch of friendship and people complaining about the election results.
Even the people that I suspect might have secretly voted for Trump that are willing to pretend for the rest of the group.
Shout out to you, subset of quote-unquote liberals that I think is way, way bigger than anyone's willing to admit.
Yeah, that's pretty exciting.
I don't know, man.
I keep trying to get it up for some video games, so I might make an attempt that once Payday comes in, I might pick up that new Dragon Age.
I just want to play something.
I just want to disappear into some fantasy for a while.
And I've never been a huge reader.
Although, maybe this will be a time to read some Piranesi.
I don't know.
I'm looking forward to finding ways to sort of try to disconnect from the political world for a while.
I get it.
I lost by a lot.
Cool.
Like, the good guys have been defeated.
Sauron ascending to victory.
I got it.
I'm going to retreat back to my little slice of the country and ride it out.
Yeah, I mean, that's how I feel a lot.
I mean, it's just like...
Yep, this sucks, and I don't see any way for it to unsuck.
That's pretty much it.
We're just in for a bunch of shit, and that's that.
Jaylee, what joyous things are you looking forward to?
Um, well, I've been a negative Nancy the last few weeks, and I kept getting chided for being negative.
Um, so I will go with a completely different answer, because I am also not looking forward to these next, um, rest of my life.
Yeah, 20 plus years.
And...
Just tell a quick little story that this weekend I went to the All Souls Procession, which is a long-time Tucson-area tradition.
Yeah, I bet it takes a long time if he's looking at All Souls.
I mean, my God.
Uh, but it's a pretty cool, uh, sort of homage to the Day of the Dead.
It usually occurs around the same day.
And it's a long, like, procession walk.
People usually dress up in the traditional Day of the Dead look.
And you do a procession and then do this big urn that you light and it lifts it on a megacrane and you can kind of see it through the whole city.
And I went this year to cover it because there was obviously dedications to people who have died from abortion bans and the genocide in Gaza.
So it was really interesting, but...
It rained so fucking hard.
It rained the whole time, and the end is supposed to be this big flame that erupts in the sky, and it did eventually happen, but not before everybody had to basically flee due to a bunch of rain, and I would like to go back next year and experience it without rain, so I'm looking forward to To that.
It's a long way away, and there'll be a lot of shit in between, but what are you gonna do?
I want you to take this as just me being amused by the circumstances of it and not as me quote-unquote chiding you, but for the record, you'd pivot from being a Debbie Downer to a story about quite literally somebody rating on your performance.
So that's fun.
And on that note, we're gonna get the fuck out of Hellworld for the week.
It's been a rough one today, so thank you for still showing up to us talk about it.
I'm sure that, you know, you're probably feeling it too if you're one of the people listening to this show.
Unless you're one of our hate listeners, in which case, you know, enjoy your victory lap for the first time you've earned it.
Uh, because again, it's the first time in 20 years that the fucking Republicans won the popular vote, so, uh, finally, your time has come!
The majority of Americans do actually want you in the big house.
Uh, But yeah, so thanks for hanging out and supporting the show.
If you want to support the show, still for free.
Five-star review wherever you get your show from.
If you have money and you want to donate it to the cause, patreon.com slash pokerpolitics.
If you donate $5,000 more per month, you get access to all of our bonus content.
You know the deal.
Thank you to all of our beautifuler babies up in the crib.
If you have money, tons of good ways to do it, and I'm assuming even more coming down the pipeline, love146.org, a recommendation that we've always given an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Thanks always to DJ Middleman Effort for the use of our original intro song, Accidentally Remixed by Mike Rains, into what you heard at the top of the show.
Thanks to our buddy Frosty, who does all of our voiceover work.
You can find Frosty on Blue Sky at FrostyVO.
You can find the show that you're listening to, The Avengers in Hellworld, on Twitter, at Hellworld with a Q instead of an O. I am there as well, Hellworld Fatty, spelled the same way as the show with the Q instead of the O. Chaley, a.k.a.
Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watcher, AZRW, on various social media.
And, of course, Mike Raines, a.k.a.
Poker Politics, on all social media.
So for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I have been your very dour Mysterious L, joined as always by our surprisingly upbeat there at the end.
Psych!
Just kidding.
It's Jaylee, but we still love her, and we always love her.
Our expert in all things Arizona crazy.
And our Amish sad friend, who is both dapper and sad and Amish all at the same time.
And our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mike Reins.
Good speed, patriots.
Good speed, patriots. patriots.
Telefon!
Han kommer!
Unnskyld, han kommer nå.
Proffa opp litt med Eisbedrift.
God dekning og sentralbord, så du faktisk kan sette over til en kollega.
Alt til en hyggelig pris.
Så, Mjøndalen, Eisbedrift.
Prøv Eisbedrift.
Jensidie presenterer en dårlig dag på jobben på 90-tallet.
Hei, nå er det litt krise her.
Det har vært innbrudd i butikken, og de har bare...
Vi har tatt alt!
Og en dårlig dag på jobben i dag.
Vi har blitt hacka vi nå.
Alle filene er låst, og nå skal vi bare ha masse krypte for å få låst opp igjen.
Jensidie har alltid vært der for bedrifter for små og store uheld.
Og det skal vi fortsette med.
Tiden går.
Jensidie består.
Det finnes mange innkjøpssystemer for hotell, restaurant og kantine.
Felles for mange av dem er at de driver med så mye annet.
Millum derimot driver bare med en ting.
Innkjøpssystem for hotell, restaurant og kantine.
Dette har de gjort i mer enn 20 år i tett samarbeid med de beste i bransjen.
Resultatet er at man får økt kontroll, et mer solidt grunnlag for å forhandle avtaler, og sparer inntil 20% av kostnadene.
Ble du litt nysgjerrig nå?
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