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Oct. 31, 2024 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:44:08
Adventures In HellwQrld Episode #212: Trump Hates Puerto Ricans

This week we get into QAnon's beliefs that they will both win in a landslide and also lose because the election will be stolen from them. We then get into Tim Walz having sex for some reason and then we get into Trump's big MSG rally and how awful that went for QAnon's Orange Daddy. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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While it's meant to be comedic-informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Grains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hell World.
This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch.
Hello, listeners.
This week is sponsored by The Mold on the side of your Lunchlee.
Mmm, delicious.
We're also joined by the Mysterious Hell.
Hello, my beautiful bambinos.
It's me, the mysterious L. I'm here, and I don't know why I'm doing light Italian.
But up at the top of the show, a couple of things to discuss.
One, apologies for last week's audio issues.
We are a team here at the Adventures of Hell World podcast, so allow me to say that that was Mike's fault, but I will be the one apologizing because we're a team.
So that was Mike's fault.
It's awesome.
But I will apologize on his behalf, because that's what good teammates do.
Mike's fault.
Second of all, I've been meaning to Buster's Chops about this for a few episodes, and I don't know why I kept holding off, but I do like that a little bit of Frosty's accent comes out at the top of the show, like, what's it called?
Content warning there, where he says that our show is meant to be entertaining and formative.
Entertaining and formative.
I believe he means informative, because unless he thinks that we're supposed to be, we're shaping our audience, like unto clay.
We are forming their very...
No, I believe it's supposed to be entertaining and informative, but the accent just rubbed it on.
I do think it's really charming, especially because I know for us personally, so I know where he's from.
Anyway, that was the top of the order stuff.
Mostly I wanted to apologize for the audio issues last week.
You know, I never listen to the show, so it's always a surprise to me when people are just like, hey, suck last week.
I mean, it was only like the last like 10 minutes of the mailbag where that happened.
And I thought I had fixed it, but apparently I did not.
So again, it is my fault.
So it's just like super annoying that that happened.
Nobody listens to us.
We don't know.
That's right.
Especially in the lead up to the part where we start hawking shit.
I'm sure that everybody just pulls the ripcord there.
Those people will have no idea when I say funny things at the very end of the show.
Like, do it, RoboCop.
Yeah.
Yeah, we get real spicy at the final ten minutes because we know nobody's listening.
Even more so than normal.
That's the part where the digital glows come off, so to speak.
Hell world.
Yeah, at some point we should actually do one of those, it'd be funny.
Okay, let's banter about some stuff.
Let's start with Mr.
Beast, because he already came up one time.
Yeah, so, dude, what a clown.
Like, you know, I've defended the guy in the past because I don't care about, you know, so-called charity porn, because the end result is what I'm after.
You know, like, a hundred people get their eyesight back, or, you know, some, like, poor folks get a house back.
Like, I don't give a fuck if, like, yeah, some rich idiot, like, gets richer at the end of the day.
But that's capitalism, baby.
I'm in it for the people that didn't have the house before or had trouble seeing before, you know?
That being said, everything that clown seems to do that isn't his dorky YouTube channel just seems like such an abject failure.
Like, Mr.
Beast Bars, a thing that nobody wanted, and then, like, the new fucking, like, beastly, like, lungable, like, get your moldy cheese pile here.
It's great.
No preservatives in this bad boy.
And it's just like, oh shit!
It turns out people put preservatives in food for a reason.
To preserve it, you know?
So weird how that works.
I'm going to go shopping today and I'm going to see if they have any.
And I'm just going to look to see if I can see mold in there.
Because I saw a lot of TikTok videos and YouTube videos and clips.
People doing, like, react content to, like, I'm going to try the new beast food.
And they open it up and it's just like, ew, it's all moldy.
Yeah, I didn't know we were going to be talking about this, so I do not know the name of the content creator, but a big-ish content creator.
I say ish just because I don't know exactly how massive their platform is relative to MrBeasts, but he's the top dog as far as I know, so less than that, but still pretty big platform.
Some content creators did it where they were just like, hey, I'm just going to compare this thing to a Lunchable, and then opened it up, and lo and behold, it was very moldy.
That reached a ton of people.
And in the process of, like, the fallout aftermath of that, like, they uploaded again on TikTok or whatever, just like, hey, I got my hands on a few thousand, like, confidential or whatever, like, behind the scenes, like, text messages and things from, like, you know, like, app chains from inside the Mr.
Beast compound.
A lot of it seems to corroborate a lot of that SA stuff that was...
Flying around back a few months ago when Mr.
Beast was in his, like, second leg of drama-bomba over this year because, you know, that heavy is the head that wears the crown, I guess.
But, yeah, I was just, like, wasn't expecting the moldy cheese pile to lead to just be like, oh, yeah, I got my hands on secret communiques that may, like, confirm these assaults are, like, crazier, like, criminal shit.
I also just like that the Lunchlee did a co-ad with Hawk Tua Girl podcast and had that long commercial where it was a bunch of people in a movie theater watching the first episode of Hawk Tua, which I'm sure they definitely did.
Finish that.
Again, I don't know who's in charge of the Mr.
Beast marketing team, but if I needed to find a pseudo-celebrity to pair for my food marketing product, it would not be a lady who is known for, at best, sucking dick, or at worst, spitting stuff out.
Because if they're just like, hey, you're famous for spitting shit out of your mouth, would you like to endorse our food product?
That sounds pretty awesome to me.
Well, you know, I sent Mike this video this weekend, but somebody with the Republican Party has taken out some type of ad for Hawk to a Girl to have her do, like, a vote read, which, it's like her, Theo Vaughn, and the Nelk boys are all part of this, like, GOP outreach read, and it's like, does she even vote?
Yeah.
What is going on with Theo Vaughn?
Did that guy just become his character?
I need a documentary on that guy.
Somebody make a documentary about that clown.
I want to know how he went from being a regular comedian doing a thing to...
He's sort of like a real-life Borat.
He Borat-ed himself.
He became Borat.
Isn't he, like, rich?
Isn't he, like, a rich guy?
And he's kind of a shtick?
I mean, I know that the character he plays, like, the dorky, dumb mullet thing that has made him, like, the new Joe Rogan or whatever, is...
Like, that's all an act.
Like, that is a character.
But I feel like that character had political opinions that the comedian didn't necessarily have, and now I think that line is too blurry.
Now I'm just like, oh shit, did your character swallow you up?
That would be like if Sacha Baron Cohen really came out and was just like...
I hate women!
Hey!
Not joking!
It's just like, oh, okay, cool.
What's so weird about that, what Haley and you were saying about getting an endorsement, is you have those idiot Costco guys right there, ready to pair with the Lunchables to put them in Costco's.
You can have the Rizzler eating mold right before our very eyes, and they would probably do it for like 25% of what the Hawk Tour girl's asking for For her going rate.
Is that where you got the Boom Kid?
Yes!
That's Big Boom.
It's the Rizzler.
It's all those guys.
They're going to do a wrestling match.
The big guy is going to wrestle soon.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
I wish nothing for success for them, but if success isn't an option, then death it is.
Because I feel like it's an easier pill to swallow if the first thing I wish for them is continuing success.
But considering they're famous for essentially nothing...
Yeah, I mean, please go away.
Become successful enough to go away, or just go away for a different reason.
I don't care.
Just go away.
I don't want to see you anymore.
And I certainly don't want to watch the Rizzler grow up.
Like, what?
No.
I don't care about any of that.
The Rizzler's going to hit a growth spurt, and then suddenly, whoever is managing those people are going to have to reckon with, like, oh no, he doesn't look like potatoes came to life.
Like, now how do we market this kid?
I actually made a TikTok account so I could start saving some stuff.
And at that very moment that I basically made it, a friend sent to me one of their, like, we got the boom videos.
And that's all my TikTok has been because it was the first thing I fed into it.
So I just got that constantly.
That's rough.
Oh, God.
I'm glad to know that the algorithm just murdered you on site.
To be fair, that was Chaley's own doing.
She was the one who associated with a person who dared to share that thing with her.
Okay, second thing, we can talk about it for as little or as long as we want to, but I feel like we should at least mention Joe Rogan a little bit, right?
I mean, he was the second favorite person on, what's it called, the news radio.
And he's suddenly in the news for doing or not doing all sorts of stuff.
And I want to say publicly, on the record, I'm on Joe Rogan's side about the Kamala Harris thing.
I don't know where the rest of you guys fall on that.
I don't know what you're talking about.
That's why I was shaking my head heavily.
Oh, you didn't hear about it?
So Joe Rogan, he had to tweet out.
He was just like, because J.D. Vance, I guess, is going to be doing one of those big interviews on his show.
Trump already did one.
Yeah.
So he came out and was probably just like, oh yeah, for the record, the Harris campaign did not decline to do an interview with me.
They just wanted me to fly to her, and instead of giving me three hours, they only wanted to give me an hour, so I declined.
And a bunch of people are trying to make that into a big thing.
And I don't...
I mean, Joe Rogan is under no obligation to put anyone on his fucking show and bow to anyone's fucking conditions.
I don't care if they are ready for President of the United States.
And also, neither of the two people need each other.
It's a complete nothing burger for her to go on his show.
Like, I don't know why everyone's trying to make a big deal about this.
What podcast would you like to see Kamala go on?
Smartless.
Seems like a great fit.
I saw so many people saying that she needed to go on Hot Ones, and I just can't imagine a dumber idea than that, because if she no-sold the power of the wings and just got through the interview, no muss, no fuss, everyone would claim that the guy weakened the hotness of the wings for her and defeated the value of the show.
No one would ever accept that her palate was strong enough to handle the wings, no muss, no fuss.
But then on the other side, if she ate a wing and it fucked her up, that would look so bad.
It would literally be all the memes everywhere.
It would be the worst possible thing for a political candidate to do.
Hey, political candidate, eat this thing that might make you make weird faces and react poorly.
Or maybe even like gag and barf a little and then grab for milk and chug it in a desperate effort to get the pain out of your mouth.
Like, it's the ultimate lose-lose situation.
And I still see it to this day like, man, Kabbalah really should have done Hot Ones.
It's like, no, she shouldn't have.
Are you on your mind?
It's like, she should do it under the prerequisite that there's just not going to be any food.
We're not stuck under the wings, because that can only end in tears.
Yeah, I don't know.
Everyone's just like...
I saw a bunch of people were, you know, digitally jumping down Joe Rogan's throat online.
And, you know, this is the position I put myself on the show for whatever reason.
Sometimes I have to play devil's Africa for one of these dickheads.
So I'm not endorsing Joe Rogan or his show by any means.
But just like the numbers bear out the fact that he is the king of podcasting.
He does not need Kamala Harris's interview.
Like, that is not going to move the needle for him.
He does not have to fly across the country to sit down with her for an hour.
He doesn't have to do that.
Now, should he be doing three-hour sit-downs with fucking J.D. Vance and Donald Trump?
Probably not.
No.
So, do not get my opinion twisted.
Joe Rogan still sucks.
But in this particular instance, it's just like, hey, calm down.
He should do a three-hour podcast with Trump because it made him three hours late to that rally and that was hilarious.
That is true.
And also, Joe Rogan did actually disarm Trump a couple of times.
I mean, he's not a great interviewer because he's just like a stupid dog that's learning about everything on Earth for the first time.
So he just loves everything that's being told to him.
But, in that instance, like, there is that clip where Donald Trump's just like, you dibs, and I don't get it, like, everybody says, like, everybody's so popular, I don't understand why everyone's, like, he's just like, because you said a bunch of wild shit!
And Donald Trump's just like, like, he doesn't know how to react to that, he's like...
That's a good description of Joe Rogan.
That's the only reason why I would want Kamala to do the Rogan podcast is just so she could commiserate with Joe about how weird Trump is.
That would be the only benefit to her to do the pod, would be to go on there and be like, man, when you were trying to get him to talk about tariffs and he just went on a stem winder, wasn't that messed up?
And Rogan would just sort of be like, yeah, it was.
I really feel like if she actually said, I'll go to Austin, I'll take the day with you, I feel like a lot of people in his inner circle and all the right-wingers would be like, Joe, no, actually, bail out on her ditch.
Don't do this.
Because he's just such a bland, spineless jellyfish that by the end of the interview, he would probably, like, get close to endorsing her.
And then, like, an hour later, after Alex Jones and everyone called him up, he'd be like, look, guys, I didn't endorse her.
We just had a good chat, and it was cool, but that's just who I am.
It would be great, like, the spin they would have to do after that.
Well, yeah.
And then, like, so there's the Joe Rogan side, which I mentioned earlier.
And then the other side of it, there's Kamala Harris, vice president of the United States, potentially future president of the United States, with a fleet of people managing our campaign that did the bean counting.
It was just like, it doesn't make any sense for you to fly out there to speak to Joe Rogan for three hours.
There's nothing to be net negative there.
Don't do that.
And she was like, okay, I won't do that.
Here are my terms.
And he was just like, okay, no.
So it's just like both sides just sort of were just like, eh, we don't really need it.
But, you know, because suddenly Joe Rogan is like a political lightning rod because he's had the other candidates on.
He had to come out and release a statement that was just like, no, no, no, Kamala Harris didn't turn on me.
We just couldn't make it work.
So, you know, liberals.
There's plenty of stuff to complain about.
Find a better one.
Let's move on to our amuse-bouche.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
For instance, if you want to complain about something, you can complain about QAnon's impending victory.
It's coming.
It's right down the pipeline.
It's finally here.
We've waited patiently.
Mike, QAnon, victorious.
Touchdown, unbelievable.
Oh, absolute dominance if you listen to the right accounts.
And then if you listen to other accounts, not so much.
The fact that we are getting this close to the election...
And for three and a half years up to this moment, it's been just nonstop Trump landslide.
He's got it in the bag.
There's no goddamn way we can lose.
Don't worry about it.
get out and vote and be part of the massive victory.
There are still those who are pushing that mentality.
That narrative is still being reinforced.
But now as we're getting close to the election, there are plenty of people who are preemptively getting out there with, they're going to steal it.
We have to be prepared for that.
I've seen Q&A promoters saying, look, if they call it for Kamala on election night, do not panic.
Stuff will happen.
We're going to be working around that, blah, blah, blah.
And this is where they're at.
That They are worried they're going to lose, and they're already preemptively trying to claim that the steal is going to happen, that we're going to counter the steal, and we're going to win, but it's going to take a little while longer.
And then this morning, I saw a tweet, and this random guy got retweeted by another QAnon promoter, and the tweet was just literally, there will not be an election.
And then I did a Twitter search for the phrase, there won't be an election or there will not be an election.
I got so many hits from so many accounts.
That is a new thing that is just being put out there by people just...
Yeah, the election ain't gonna happen.
We're gonna get to Tuesday and just, oops, sorry, been called off.
Just President for Life Joe Biden, which I guess means another six months of President Biden, whatever.
So we're getting really squirrely here at the end.
In Arizona, there's a big conspiracy about The fact that it will probably take, you know, up to a week, maybe a little more, to fully count all of the ballots in Arizona because, you know, there's mail-in that has to be counted, there's day-of that has to be counted in full.
And, like, yeah, we count every fucking ballot.
There's ballot curing.
And a lot of people, like, were conspiratorial about this in the last elections because, like, Yeah, sometimes it takes a long time for certain races to get called because they're close and this is a fucking purple state.
There's going to be a lot of weird results probably in the Arizona elections.
So yeah, a lot of people currently are baking the fact that the elections department and even the lead of the Arizona GOP has put out statements like it's going to take some time to count all the votes.
So there's already people that are like, they're going to steal it during that time.
So, you know, that'll probably be a pretty spicy time in Arizona.
I'm already seeing people talking about hitting the streets.
You know, if it...
And the race between Kamala and Trump here is so close that it probably will take some time to know that result.
And it's going to drive people so mad in those two weeks.
There's going to be so many conspiracies.
Also, James O'Keefe recently targeted some election workers by basically just putting up some videos that insinuated...
That they were breaking the law by not forcefully stopping people from voting to see if they're mules, basically.
And he's offering to just dispatch cameras to election workers to spy on other election workers during this election.
So there's going to be so many video conspiracies that are going to get baked as well.
Oh yeah, I don't think we talked about it last week, but there was that video, allegedly in Pennsylvania, where it was just a first-person view, and this pair of arms, a long-sleeved shirt with black hands, It was reaching into a series, into a little tray that was full of ballots, and it was opening the ballots out of their envelopes.
And if they were Harris-Walls votes, they were putting them back in and resealing them.
And if they were Trump-Vance votes, they were ripping the ballots to pieces and throwing them away.
And people were freaking out about that.
And an investigation was launched, and it turned out that it was actually done by a Russian propaganda outfit.
Shocker.
Yeah, you mean they didn't get to any ballot boxes and just find a bunch of evidence of obvious hand ballot shredding that had taken place there?
Yeah, this is so weird.
This is fine.
Yeah, never you worry.
Never you worry.
We'll get right back to talking about ballot box related election interference later in the podcast and the culprit.
It might surprise you.
Mike, I saw you share it on Twitter.
The people going after that postal worker for doing his job.
Yeah, that's later in the pod.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
Haley.
Spoiler.
Spoiler Haley.
Nobody can see me doing air quotes there, so I had to try to get my inflection right, and I don't think I did it properly, so imagine the quotes around the word spoiler.
Haley, spoiler.
I'm sorry.
We call that a preview.
We call that a coming up next.
All right?
It's a teaser.
It's not a spoiler.
Yeah, that's what you'd say.
Okay, so yeah, QAnon, either totally victorious or the world coming to an end.
Take your pick.
Same as it ever was with the QAnon people.
It's refreshing to touch base with them every once in a while in our QAnon podcast, but boy howdy.
They have lost most of their sauce.
Whatever dark pact those stupid Costco boys made stole all the sauce away from QAnon.
But, you know who has some sauce currently in this current climate because there's an election on?
That's Tim Walls.
Tim Walls, who's involved in some spy shit.
I think.
Allegedly.
Mike, what's going on with spy guy Tim Walls?
Tim Walls fucks.
That's what we've learned this week.
Allegedly.
So, basically, Tim Walls has been the subject of innumerously weird conspiracy theories in an effort to ding the Harris campaign, which, why you would go after the vice president instead of the president is really odd.
I mean, I don't remember a lot of people going after Kamala during the 2020 election.
It wasn't like the Trump, it wasn't like the Trump Pence campaign back then was throwing all kinds of bombs, trying to dig Biden for, for Harris.
But it feels like Republicans are just like weirdly just, we're going gloves off and we're going to do everything we can to take down Tim Walls.
And for a couple of days, there was this delusional...
There was this account called Black Insurrectionist, and this was the account that claimed they had a whistleblower from ABC News who was going to reveal that the debate between Kamala and Trump had been rigged, or somehow ABC had unfairly put their thumb on the scale to help her win.
And then his whistleblower mysteriously died on their way back to their home planet.
And then the Black Instructionist account claimed they had information from a former student of Tim Walls claiming that he had been groomed by Tim.
Black Instructionist, a white man.
Haley, spoilers!
I'm sorry!
Yeah, by the way, there were lots of people attempting to try to discern who Black Insurrectionists was.
A bunch of Blue Anon folks tried to pin Black Insurrectionists on Ali Alexander.
I actually had somebody in my replies one time said, come on, Mike, just call him Ali Alexander.
We all know.
And I said, no, we don't.
I don't roll that way.
And actual journalists did a journalism and found out that he's a white guy from New York who is just a huge dum-dum.
So good on him.
Is it still blackface if it's online?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Digital blackface.
So this whole thing came out and then it got debunked very quickly because his emails that he published were incredibly fraudulent and obviously bullshit.
And then this guy Ian Carroll jumped on it and tried to make some hay out of it and Ian Carroll then allegedly had a 40-plus minute conversation with the student, which it was almost obviously Black insurrectionist who had him on the phone.
And One thing led to another.
The whole thing got debunked.
Ian Carroll kind of apologized.
Not really, though, because he's a huge piece of shit.
And if you follow him for financial news, you are being scammed by a right-wing grifter.
And so that story died a death.
So we went from Tim Wall's gay slash pedophile to the new story, which is Tim Wall's Lothario just going around the globe-trotting the world, banging any lady that gets in his field of vision.
The article is very funny because it makes him sound sexy.
They talk about his big plump lips and how he would play George Michaels and they would make love secretly.
And it's like, okay, so he was hot?
Cool?
I don't understand.
They do consistently have this problem where they make their enemies seem awesome to try to slander them.
Yeah, so when Tim Walls was like 24 years old, he fucked this hot Chinese girl, and they had like a passionate affair behind her parents' backs, and then it all kind of fell apart.
It's like, so what is the attack on Tim Walls here?
He was single, he met a girl, they had sex, and And what?
And I've actually seen Republicans trying to talk about how this was the Chinese Communist Party trying to infiltrate and get a hold of Tim Walz.
Yeah, that public school teacher.
They were like, yes, this public school teacher.
One day he will be governor of Minnesota and then perhaps even vice president.
So yeah, it's...
Yeah, they were saying that her father was a top-level CCP official, and I tried to look into the guy a little bit, and, like, he must have been a pretty low-ranking guy.
I don't think he was, like...
If you're a politician in China, you're connected to the CCP because they're the only party.
Like...
Just like a city worker, probably.
Yeah, if you're working the subway, if you're a public official, if you have a public job, you are tied to the CCP. That's how that works.
Yeah, it's like saying a subway worker in New York is tied to the Democratic Party of New York.
Yeah, that's...
That's how a public official exists.
Like, you're getting your paycheck from the state.
So, of course, it's the Communist Party of China.
Calm down.
So, yeah, it was very funny because the story was, like, hot for, like, 30 seconds online two nights ago, and then it just, like, died to death because...
Trump's weird press conference he called at 10 in the morning on Tuesday and then showed up an hour late and then just said they're stealing Pennsylvania from him and took no questions and left.
People were wondering if Trump was going to run with the Chinese sex scandal with Walls that morning.
I was like, nope.
Turned out he wasn't.
Turned out he was just going to be a giant piss baby about the fact that Pennsylvania is being rigged and stolen from him.
And then the screen behind him changed.
Like, the screensaver they had behind Trump flipped and it was like a weird digital forest that he was talking in front of for a little while.
It was awesome.
It's like not even a scandal.
Neither of them were in a relationship.
It was just like two 20-year-olds fucked on a summer vacay and that's supposed to be a sex scandal because he had sex with an Asian woman.
It's like, that's just racist.
And the other part of the scandal is that, what's the scandal here?
That this lady remembered 30, 40 years ago that Tim Walsh was a good lay?
Tim Walsh fucked the shit out of me, says Chinese lady.
It's like, well, that's better than Tim Walsh being a two-pump chump.
I mean, my God.
If this scandal broke out that Donald Trump had sex with someone in his 20s and she remembers it, all Republicans are like, oh yeah, big dick Donnie.
You know how it is.
All the ladies remember when they get with him.
And it's like, yeah, they do, because it's probably non-consensual, and then Trump has to, like, pay out.
Yeah, it's traumatic, and it sticks with you.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, geez.
Well, you know, it's good to see that at least somebody's fucking.
You know, it's good to see some of that strong fucking energy from the Democrats.
Yeah.
And the fact that it's sort of like the white doughy Midwestern VP and not the lady presidential pick is refreshing and good.
Let's keep that energy aimed there, you know?
It's just mind-blowing to me that you look at Tim Walls and it's just, as Elle just said, it's Midwest grandpa.
And Republicans have spent the last month being like, we need to talk about this man's dick 24-7.
We just...
Donald Trump was up there talking about fucking Arnold Palmer's huge hogs.
Maybe there's a memo circulating where it's just like, mention old dick as often as possible.
Yeah.
There's a demographic out there that really cares about you caring about old dick.
But that's just because at some point Trump was sundowning and he was trying to compare himself to Richard Nixon and somebody was taking a memo and he just said he wanted old dick and they were like, okay, cool.
Yeah.
And they're like, you got it.
Whatever you say goes, boss.
Tell him it's understanding, you see.
He's like, I love women, but big dicks, my god, so veiny.
I don't think there's a euphemism at all.
Anyway, let's move on to greener pastures.
The greenest pastures there are.
Arizona.
Land of the green pastures.
With our Arizona correspondent, Haley, a.k.a.
Chaley, a.k.a.
Arizona Rightwatch.
Hey, Haley.
Hello.
How's Arizona going now?
Arizona being super normal, extra normal Arizona this week?
Is the title of this episode, AZ Crater Update, still craterous?
Because you saw that TikTok where that guy was like, where did this come from?
No!
Do you have a big crater in Arizona?
Did I accidentally do a thing?
Arizona has the...
Yeah, there's a big hole in Arizona up north.
And it is a crater.
What is it?
I think it's just Arizona.
Let's see, crater.
Yeah, Meteor Crater.
They just call it Meteor Crater.
Original.
But it's actually, like, it's along Route 66 and a landmark here.
And, like, it's been plopped there for, like, you know, 50,000 years when it originally hit.
And there was this, like, viral TikTok.
Some conspiracy theorist was like, look at this big hole in Arizona.
Where did it come from?
And it's like, it just got there.
And it's like, no, that's Meteor Crater.
That's been there.
That's like a landmark here.
It's been here forever.
No way.
Brand new hole, Chaley.
Stop lying.
New hole.
Who this?
So yeah, you actually hit gold right there because Arizona is kooky like that.
I mean, hey, I'm happy to be accidentally correct.
Yeah.
I'm actually going to just give an update on everything that happened last week, which we talked about briefly because the guy had just been arrested.
But there's more details out about the person who shot at the local DNC office here in Arizona three times over the course of a month.
And then left these weird signs throughout like a Phoenix suburb called Ahwatukee that said like Dems kill Jews and Dems lie and all this weird shit.
And on the signs were razor blades like sticking all over in every direction and a white powder that it had like a biohazard Um, like, logo on it and, like, a note that said, fuck you, play stupid games, win stupid prizes, guess the poison.
Um, they were found at, like, a church and a hospital, um, and it shut down a couple roads while Hazmat removed it and tested the powder.
Um, That same day, they arrested the guy who had been responsible for all this.
His name was Jeffrey Michael Kelly.
They arrested him and he had a machine gun on him.
Are you going to say something, Mike?
It looks like you're talking, but you're muted.
I assume this man has lily white skin, which is why he survived being around cops while having a machine gun on his person.
Yes, he is.
Oh, knock me over with a feather.
He's a 60-year-old white guy.
Okay, so they searched his house.
He had over 120 guns.
Most of them were loaded.
250,000 rounds of ammo, silencers, more machine guns, high quality body armor, and a grenade launcher.
He was ready to play some Grand Theft Auto.
He really was!
I was like a Grand Theft Auto-ass garage.
So he was arrested and his bond was set at half a million dollars.
His lawyer argued that the grenade launcher was just a tube because it wasn't loaded, which I thought was funny.
Turns out Lawyer and Mr.
Kelly are part of the same, like, gun club.
They are part of the same...
They're both part of a gun club in Tempe.
And Jeffrey Kelly has been, like, an award-winning, like, gun guy.
So there's some interesting stuff, probably, with the reason he has all those guns.
The...
The prosecutor argued that he was planning a high-casualty event, and today he was just indicted, and it looks like he has another half-million-dollar bond added, so it'll cost him about a million to get out now.
Apparently he has the money for it.
They said he's loaded, so another guy with economic anxiety.
But anyway...
His Facebook, Mike, you would probably get a little kick out of because he's been posting on his Facebook for like the last 15 years.
So you get like old Benghazi shit and like, you know, Obama loves Putin stuff, which is so funny now in hindsight where it's like...
Now they love Putin.
A lot of like old like we're gonna kill Muslims and put bullets in their heads kind of shit from like the you know more Bush era Obama era kind of He had, like, you know, the Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the Blood of Tyrants post, which is so classic.
Like, I feel like every right-wing white guy will absolutely have this on his profile somewhere.
Did he have the photo of the guy in the military garb with the glove that has the names of the people that were killed in Benghazi on the fingers?
Because I love that one.
I see that in QAnon all the time.
He did have, originally as his profile picture, the Kathy Griffin holding up the Trump mask head, but his was a real edit of a Biden head cut off, and it seems like people have reported that into Oblivion, and that post has been removed now.
Oh, he's got the Don't Tread on Me.
That's why I rocked my No Snap on Stake shirt today.
Well done.
If only the audience did see it.
It is a great shirt.
I do love that design.
Um, like, pre-B, like, anti-BLM, like, before BLM, he was, like, you know, anti-mocking Trayvon Martin in some posts, especially because of Obama's comments back in the day about Trayvon Martin, like, comparing him to, like...
His son, like if he had a son.
Just Obama as the Joker, you know, kind of stuff.
And then he obviously gets into the Trump era stuff.
On January 6th, he posted, he stopped the steal, defend our liberty.
So he was definitely a right-wing guy.
A lot of people I've seen are like, definitely a lefty.
But unless he's been keeping up the shtick for like the past decade and a half, I don't think so.
Yeah, that's what they say.
He was a deep plant.
He was an undercover for a decade plus until it was his time to strike.
There was also in Arizona, just real quick, because it wasn't as exciting as that one.
Um...
There was actually a, you know, there's been, like, three ballot box that have caught fire throughout the country, I think, so far.
Oregon, Washington, and also Phoenix.
The Phoenix one didn't get as much attention because, like, there's, like, footage of the other incidents and, like, they cooked those ballots in the ones in Washington and Oregon.
Whoever has seen that.
Yeah.
But in Arizona, I think about 100 ballots were destroyed, and they're working to get those people contacted.
It was just in a normal USPS box.
It wasn't in a ballot box like the other two incidents.
And...
The incident in Oregon and Washington will be probably some type of politically motivated.
It just seems from early evidence.
But this incident was, I think, more a crazy guy.
You guys are going to love this.
His name was Dieter Klofkorn.
Great name.
Can I get that first name again?
Dieter?
Dieter Klofkorn.
That is an insane name.
You are correct.
He seems to be a fellow that is not well.
He was picked up and said he wanted to be in jail.
I think he's got some problems.
He previously had an incident that made the news years ago where he seemed to have like a...
Kind of outburst at a construction yard and was taped up by the construction workers until the police came.
And yeah, the police said it doesn't appear politically motivated, but he will be going away for a long time because he destroyed ballots and fucked with a mailbox.
So that is so far what's going on in Arizona.
Yay.
Interesting.
Well, you know, if only that were the end of such ballady interference and whatnot.
But unfortunately, that's not quite the end of that.
So we thank you for your service, Chaley, for your Arizona reporting.
But with that, it is time for us to SIGU, which is how I pronounce it.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the news.
All right.
Of course, we're in election year.
Elections coming up next week.
And then that will be the end of it once those ballots are counted.
I mean, we won't have to talk about it ever again, I'm sure.
But that, of course, means that the GOP, Republicans, God and everybody is just being extra super normal.
No one's doing anything to try to get in the way of the election process.
No one's doing any sort of weird election-related stuff.
The election is super normal.
And we love talking about normal stuff here.
It's our favorite thing to do.
So, Mike, Let's talk about the terrorist-y, supernormal, extra-double-good election cycle this year.
How's it going?
It's going great.
As Haley mentioned earlier, there is a viral video going around right now.
It got picked up by QAnon adjacent sack of shit DC Drano, who was talking about a guy named Brandon Matlack posted a video about a postal worker, literally a postal worker in a post office.
And he said, quote, need help identifying this guy that just dropped off an insane amount of ballots who said he's with the post office.
But I don't know if I buy that.
He wouldn't talk to us and is acting very suspect.
And he then tagged early vote action.
Scott Pressler, who's the guy trying to register all the Amish to vote Republican.
Sasser Less, I don't know them.
Vote Harris out, who's Philip Anderson, the right-wing nut.
And lastly, Postcards Stoppa, which I don't know who Postcards Stoppa is.
D.C. Drano jumped on this and literally his tweet was caught an illegal ballot mule in the act in Pennsylvania.
So just terrorizing postal workers, doing their jobs.
Just making shit up.
Go ahead.
I'm just, because there's like everything that they're targeting for.
I have a little bit of experience with the postal office, like in terms of work.
And there's like going after him like, oh, he's not in the official uniform, which like he literally looks like he is in the uniform.
But yeah, you don't have to wear a uniform if you're certain positions.
Two, he's in his car.
Yeah, postal workers often use their car, especially if they're like supervisors, which he kind of looked like he was.
And there was one other conspiracy that I saw.
Oh, he had out-of-plate license.
A lot of times during busy seasons, postal workers are sent to different stations.
So I didn't even think that was that weird.
But that's the level that they're at.
They're like running his license plate and shit.
So there's like a lot of reasons why he looked like that.
He literally looked like a postal worker doing his job.
He had the postal carrier thing.
Yeah, the security guard knew who he was.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I mean, this was really nothing.
Just absolute nothing.
But they're making it into something because they're just trying to start shit.
That is their want.
That is how they roll.
Turning mountains into molehills.
Yes.
Or the opposite.
Scratch that.
Reverse it.
Yeah.
And another thing that's happened recently was someone did a video where they basically were lying about the fact that they're like, cops interfering in early voting here, kicking Republicans out.
And it's these two guys who are very obviously impersonating officers walking along a sidewalk and then putting down a sign that says, line ends here.
And it was like at 2.40 in the afternoon when the early voting was going until 4.
And the woman videotaping them was even saying ahead of time, oh, looks like they're about to cut this line off.
How she had foreknowledge of what the two men were about to do was very strange.
And people online have posted what the actual workers, what the actual police officers in that community look like.
What the outfits these clowns were wearing actually were.
And how this was just some weird and very illegal stunt being done by Republicans.
Because again, it's election interference and it's impersonating a police officer.
All of this is a great way to get yourself arrested if anyone gives a shit about people pulling stunts like this.
So we'll see if the local authorities actually care or not.
But...
They're doing anything they can to rile up their constituents because to them, there's no negative outcome to this.
This can only be a good thing for them because if Trump wins, then, oh, we overcame all their cheating.
Oh, the American people with their voice.
Loudly cried out for Trump and were granted victory.
Hashtag too big to rig.
And if Trump loses, oh look, they stole it from us.
Look at all the shit they were pulling.
Look at this ballot mule we found in Pennsylvania.
Look at these cops shutting down a Republican polling place.
Look at all the corruption.
Oh God, what a rigged election this was.
So they've really mapped out a really beautiful heads-I-win-tails-you-lose sort of bullshit setup.
It's incredibly outrageous and annoying.
Also, I don't know if we mentioned this last week, because I don't remember exactly when it happened, but that woman who was asked to remove her Trump shirt while in the ballot area, and then she told the election worker to...
She was like an older lady, too.
Like, who's grandma?
And she was like, suck my cunt, you cocksucker.
Yeah, dude, I heard about that.
I made a funny joke to this effect on the Twitter, but yeah, dude, fucking...
Wild old lady pulling her shirt off and demanding her cunt to be eaten, like, or sucked.
It's like, dude, I need to start fucking, I need to start volunteering at the polling place.
It's like, you know.
That's exactly what I'm looking for in life.
I mean, I might even be able to overlook the fact she's a Trump supporter, you know?
Oh man, I can't wait.
If I knew it would work, I'd be like, take off that Kamala shirt too, you know?
I'm going to need you to take off that Donald Trump shirt and them Kamala Harris panties.
Yes!
Oh man, we've got our new terrible 2024 political pornography screenplay already written for us.
Oh boy.
Grandmas need love too, you know?
Yes, all cats are gray in the dark.
I've never heard that expression before, but that's incredible.
That's from Benjamin Franklin.
That was Benjamin Franklin telling a guy that, yeah, you should fuck older ladies.
Wow.
I mean, he's a smart man, but for my part, I prefer Sphinx cats.
Anyway, moving on...
No, I don't even know what we were talking about before we started talking about that feisty grandma, but I'm glad that Hayley brought it up, because I did see that.
It was really funny.
Yeah.
Like, all the grody sex jokes notwithstanding, it is really funny for somebody to have that reaction to a thing.
Could you imagine?
Like, it's just like, oh, sorry, we were already waiting in the line.
And you're just like, yes!
Oh my god!
The shirt's coming off!
Thumbs off, boys!
I'll show you!
I'll show you take a shirt off!
You know what I mean?
Yeah, and J.D. Vance gave her a shout-out.
J.D. Vance was like, boom, real patriot!
It's like, oh man, the rewarding of shitty behavior continues apace with Republicans truly are the worst of all people.
I mean, hey, he's got to find something to talk about, because that boy's got nothing going on upstairs.
No.
Oh, God.
I just love that the Republican Party has created this weird Omni ticket, where on the one side we've got Harris-Walls, and on the other side we've got Trump-Vance-Musk-Kennedy.
I mean, we've just got four people running for some sort of, I don't know, just this committee that will run America.
It looks like an axis.
It looks like an axis of evil.
Yes.
Like, yeah, we have like fucking Elons doing interviews where he's like, yeah, my plans for America will cause temporary hardship, but eventually it'll all work out smoothly in the long run.
And it's like, am I voting for you, motherfucker?
When did you get a seat at the table?
When did that shit happen?
And it's just so wild that...
Republicans rail against the deep state and unelected officials running our lives.
And now we're going to have Robert Kennedy running our school lunches and Elon Musk cutting Social Security and Medicare.
And it's like, oh, I wasn't aware they were part of the government.
When the fuck did that happen?
Yeah, and it's also like, you know, unlike in comic books or, you know, fucking anime or whatever, where the bad guys get together to form like a super bad guy group, and then they come at our heroes.
Like, our bad guy group is so shitty, because individually, they're just kind of just like shitty dudes.
It's like, Donald Trump, flim flam businessman, and sex pest, Elon Musk, world's richest man, like, allegedly a genius, even though not really, and also a sex pest.
Then you have RFK Jr., who is, of course, part of the Living Dynasty American Kennedys and also, of course, Sex Best.
And it's just like, wow, these guys have a lot of shit in common.
What should we call these guys?
It's wild that J.D. Vance is the family man of the group when he's just this weird woman-hating psychopath who just thinks that women should be broodmares for the state.
I mean, wasn't his, like, big, like, coming out party for, like, the sight of the good guys?
Everybody busting on him for wanting to fuck couches?
I mean, this is pretty bizarre.
When this Axisville shows up, you'll know they're coming, because they are legally obligated by law to come to your doorstep and tell you that they are in town.
I don't know if you listen to it, Mike, that article that I sent you from the New York Times or watch the Reddit about Elon basically offering his sperm to literally all his friends and random women and RFK's running mate or his VP pick. that article that I sent you from the New York Whatever the fuck her name is.
Yeah, yeah.
He's offering sperm to everybody and building his sperm...
His children compound slash wife compound in Texas.
His wannabe Waco.
And I don't know, man.
That article fucked with me.
I can't imagine wanting...
I mean, I know it's a money thing.
He's the richest man in the world.
But it's just like, I can't imagine...
Wanting to be with Elon sounds insufferable.
Yeah, I actually did see a little something about Elon Musk offering his sperm to people.
It's really funny because that was a bit that Dan Harmon wrote into Community 10 years ago at this point.
Their resident evil loser was just offering people sperm upon his death.
He's just like, hey, guess what?
Here's some of my sperm so you can make super genius babies or whatever.
Elon Musk is doing that shit in real life.
This is not a TV show.
He was giving sperm to people.
A bad name?
I agree.
While Grimes was pregnant, and she didn't know about it.
So there was kids being born while she was pregnant also.
And Elon named one of the other kids one of the names that Grimes planned on naming her kid, because it came out first.
And it's just like, this is too much.
This is a lot of sperm overlap.
I don't like this story.
Somebody stop this man from putting sperm into people.
There's got to be a limit to the amount of...
There should be a limit to the amount of people that you can sperm.
And I feel like the limit should be pretty high, because I don't want to exclude too many folks.
But I feel like once you're above eight, it's just like, okay, that's enough seed planting for you.
I just love the idea that Elon, this weird dude who's on all kinds of drugs...
People have brought this up.
If you look at the photo of him when he brought that sink in, waka waka, when he bought Twitter, to the way he looks now, Elon was kind of toned in shape when he bought Twitter.
Now he's just grotesquely fat, just sunken-eyed husky.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm going to need to stop you right there.
I hate defending Elon Musk, but if Elon Musk is grotesquely fat...
Then I am like an eldritch horror.
That would make me like onto an unspeakable beyond thing.
Oh, I'm right there too, but I'm just saying that like, Elon's packed on, his body has gone to shit since he bought Twitter, is basically the point of what I was saying, and it's just so funny.
That's like watching those episodes of The Simpsons back in the day where they're talking about Homer Simpson being canonically, like the fattest person anyone's ever seen that you And he's like 240 pounds or whatever.
Jesus Christ!
The 90s were fucking wild over that shit.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
But I mean it's just so funny that Elon has gotten himself woefully out of shape and he's a trillionaire who if he wanted to could literally tell his underlings to run his businesses and just spend all day working out and getting himself fit if he wanted to.
And he's just given up on that.
And so he's just walking around saying, hey, I'm in my early 50s and I'm horribly out of shape.
Would you like my sperm?
My incredible seed?
And it's like, you know...
I'd probably want sperm from some college athlete, some Division A track and field star or basketball or football player.
Probably would think that their sperm was better for having a child than old man.
Old man ketamine.
See, Mike, you gotta work on your hustle.
Your first question should be like, alright, well, how many milliliters are we talking?
How much sperm are you planning on giving me?
Is it enough to get the job done, or is there a limit?
Then, once you find out how much sperm is on the table, so to speak, hopefully, then you're just like, oh, yeah, by the way, you're a genius and a gazillionaire, and Like the Rocket Man and a VR whiz and you're the best at video games, better than any Korean.
How much would you value your sperm at?
And then you butter him up.
You get like a high valuation on his sperm.
Then you do the math.
You find out exactly what he's offering you.
And you're just like, actually, I'll just take the cash value of that.
Thank you very much.
Here you go.
Per your own calculations, that'll be $15 million.
Yeah.
You know, our son will be raised so well off of this money.
It'll be great.
And the best thing is that he won't have to ever know who his father is.
It'd be incredible.
Because it won't be you, ding dong.
Imagine being one of those poor kids that comes out and, like, you know, at some point you have to reckon with the fact that the people around you find out who your dad is.
And then it's going to be a coin flip.
Coin flip for everybody you ever meet for the rest of your life.
Hope that they are a fan.
Yeah.
I do feel bad about it.
I mean, again, because we made a lot of joke about him going out there and producing all of these children, but aside from the fact that he's got his trans kid that he's just completely disowned, and then a bunch of these other kids that you're sure he just never sees, it's just like at some point those kids have to deal with the fact that their dad is this sort of fucking hated public ding-dong that just can't stop putting his foot in his mouth.
Yeah.
He's dark gothic MAGA now, by the way.
Are we ready to talk about that?
I had an internet hiccup, so I can't tell how far into the pod we are, so if we run a little long, that's on me.
It's whatever.
The Madison Square Garden has to be talked about at length anyway, because it was wild.
Well, okay.
But I mean, a lot of the stuff we talk about is wild.
And if I let you ding-dongs go without me, you'll talk for two, three hours on a thing.
So we need to try to rein it in.
But it's going to be difficult for me this week.
You guys are going to pull one over on me because I can't see what the total recording time is.
Anyway, yes.
Donald Trump had a fascist rally at Madison Square Garden.
There's no other real way to say it.
That's how that went down.
He decided that, you know, those Nazis had a good thing running when they tried that.
so he was going to do it again.
And he got all his fascist pals together, and they went up there and said a bunch of insane shit in front of God and everybody.
And we're going to pick that apart now.
Mike, where do you want to start?
We'll just start with the big one.
We'll start with the main event, as it were.
Garbage Island?
Garbage Island.
We're going to go right to Garbage Island.
Straight to Garbage Island, or as I like to call it Puerto Rico, my right guys?
Yes.
To applause and cheering until the reckoning for such a joke comes.
And then everyone's just like, actually, that doesn't reflect our values.
Yes.
So Tony Hinchcliffe, I've never really heard of this person before.
He's a guy.
Okay, let me post up here for a brief second.
I'm not super familiar with this guy, but because I am on TikTok, I have seen clips from his stage show.
This guy is a roast comedian.
He was always going to get up there and say insanely offensive shit because that is and has always been his style of comedy.
Don't let anybody try to fool you.
They knew exactly what they were buying when they got this guy.
They literally pulled this guy from the roast comedian circuit, and he is one of the roast comedians who would be willing to take a paycheck to go to a Donald Trump rally.
So they knew the level of joke he was willing to say going into it.
It's also from the Joe Rogan orbit, so that's where he came from.
Yeah, I mean, his biggest kind of fame at the moment, I believe, is his online show where he gets up-and-coming comedians, they get 60 seconds to do whatever they want in front of him, and then he and a panel of other ding-dongs roast them.
And then they do that show live, and they put it out on the internet, and people laugh at it because it's just like, LOL, he's making fun of these people for being fat or gay.
And it's just like, okay, cool.
And I do have some respect for roast comics, but only in the fucking roast format.
You know how it would be fucking annoying if you were just on your commute and somebody next to you started singing Defying Gravity?
Well, yeah, that's because you were not opting in to hearing Defying Gravity by going to the show Wicked.
Same sort of thing here.
If you're in a building to celebrate the roast of Bob Saget, you know some people are going to go up there and they're going to say some fucking crazy shit.
But this was a presidential rally at Madison Square Garden.
It doesn't hit the same when you're talking about hating Latinos and them coming across the border when Trump is like, let's deport literally a sixth of the country.
It just feels like you're kind of hyping that up.
Yeah.
I've seen people try to defend it because he's a roast comedian.
What do you want?
And it's just like, keep him at roasts.
Dude, roast comedians don't play outside of roast unless they are a comedian who also does roast stuff.
But there's a big difference between the people who come up doing that sort of thing and the people that dip their toes into doing that sort of thing.
I'm not saying that all roast comedy sucks.
I've had a party laugh listening to very offensive humor, listening to roasted people, but you can't bring those people out into the wild and expect the rules to be the same.
So this was a fuck-up across the board.
He should have known not to do this.
Like, this is one of those things where he was, like, because he's one of these boundary-pushing dickheads, I'm sure that he thought he was doing something righteous by doing it, like, in Madison Square Garden in front of this audience, but, like, no, dude, that's a big fuck-up, and, like, either you believe the shit that you're saying, and that makes you a douchebag that isn't worth, like, anything anyway, or...
Or you just made a bad joke, but you are a professional.
You knew what you were getting into.
You opted into it.
Then you wrote this joke.
Other people saw it and signed off on it.
Then you delivered it.
It's not like it was a whoopsie.
It just means that you're a fucking hack.
You shouldn't have done this.
This is bad.
Also, one of the jokes, the watermelon joke, which if people weren't watching, he points at a black member of the audience and asks him if he's carving watermelon for Halloween instead of pumpkins.
And it's like, I don't know, man.
I don't know if you're supposed to be incredibly racist towards the people that you're trying to get out the vote for.
Yeah, and that's a crazy joke to tell anyway, because we all know that black people don't celebrate Halloween.
That's a white-ass holiday.
See?
Now, that joke, it is a little offensive, because it is still a little racist, but it is not going up there and being like, Puerto Rico is garbage!
You know?
Like, there are degrees to this.
You can play around with it and get a little loosey-goosey, but, like, dude, you can't go up there.
Like, it wasn't funny when Donald Trump called all Mexicans rapists, and it's not funny when you go up there and call all Puerto Ricans trash.
Yeah, and what Elle was saying is there's a style of comedian you bring up on stage for this kind of thing, and it generally should be either a regular stand-up comic or a guy that does political commentary.
You don't bring up somebody who's going to do crowd work, because that would be super weird, having a guy bust the chops of various people in the front row, which he did with that weird watermelon carving thing.
You fit your comedian to your audience.
You don't have this guy come up there and do what he did.
And as Al pointed out, this speech got vetted by the Trump campaign and they fed it into the teleprompter.
A report came out a couple days ago that in his original speech he was going to call Kamala a cunt.
But that got flagged by the Trump campaign and they pulled that from his speech.
I mean, I guess it's good to know they have a line.
Yeah.
But yeah, I mean, if that's true, then like, yeah.
I mean, if that's not the smoking gun to let you know that they all knew exactly what they were buying when they hired this guy, like, I don't know what is.
It's just like, yes, would you like to, the team working with the former, potentially future president of the United States, would you like to overlook this year's script with my jokes to make sure that, are you okay with me using the word cunt to describe Kamala Harris?
No?
Oh, gadzooks!
He did it at a comedy place the night before, too, to workshop it, and it didn't do well there either.
And he was like, oh, I'm going to do it tomorrow at Madison Square Garden.
It's like, nah, this small intimate crowd just didn't get it.
It is a bigger crowd energy to carry the laugh.
Yeah, it's gonna kill an MSG. This joke is gonna absolutely slay.
You have no idea.
And, like, honestly, like, I wasn't there in the room.
I'm sure a bunch of people were laughing at it in MSG, but the overwhelming opinion outside of MSG that I saw was pretty negative.
And it especially pissed off Bad Bunny, who decided to fucking immediately go to Instagram and just be like, my 48 million followers or whatever, like, Puerto Rico rules, vote Kamala Harris.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, that had to be...
Someone said that they were in contact with the Harris campaign when the Bad Bunny endorsement broke, and it was totally spontaneous.
They weren't working with Bad Bunny to try to get that.
that it was just this thing where suddenly this joke bombs everyone's pissed off and offended and suddenly you just have all these puerto ricans like rushing to social media to be like fuck this guy vote for kamala like uh jennifer lopez and ricky martin along with bad bunny i saw people uh like rob smith who was a turning point usa commentator um -
Basically claiming that they're conspiracizing that Tony Heathcliff, or whatever the fuck his name is, was a paid op by the Kamala campaign to make the Republicans look bad, and it was too perfectly timed with her statement about Puerto Rico that it's obviously paid op.
So that's what some people are going with, which I thought was funny.
I also like the people that were like, actually, Puerto Rico does have an issue with pollution, and that's what he was trying to raise awareness for.
Like, yeah, sure.
Okay, nice.
Yeah, that's what he was definitely doing.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, the kind-hearted roast comedian who wanted to address Puerto Rico's landfill crisis.
Yeah, that was what he was going for.
100%.
Oh, man.
Yeah, even he came out on social media and was like, I was taken out of context!
I was like, well, then tell us the context.
Explain the context that doesn't make your joke horribly racist.
Go for it.
The floor is yours, buddy.
Do it.
Sell me.
Sell me on the fact that you weren't being racist.
And he's one of these guys that he does not do apologies.
So he's not trying to sell anybody on anything.
I mean, well, he did have that sort of not apology where he was just like, I was being racist, obviously.
It's just a joke.
It's like, okay, well, that's not going to be enough in this case because everybody agrees that you're just sort of like, Again, I mean, Beyonce just came out for Kamala and didn't perform somehow, and then Trump just has to follow it up with this unforced error.
It's so good.
We're so fortunate this guy sucks at his job.
If he or any of the people around him were competent at all, our country would already be in ruins.
We would already all be forced to drive the Tesla Cybertruck to our mandatory work.
Yeah.
Anything else at the MSG rally stick out to you?
Did anything cross your radar?
The Hulkamania ran wild on us again.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Hulk feebly trying to rip his shirt off and fighting tooth and nail with that shirt.
The shirt winning the battle for way too long.
Oh, sorry, shirt.
I just had some sushi before this.
Yeah, he's got it.
The other thing that was really interesting about MSG... Oh, the fact that they played Dixie before the black guy got up to speak.
That was a super...
Jesus, what the fuck are we doing here?
Yeah.
Everything about the whole thing was so weird.
And then the real capper to all of this is that Trump himself is so shot.
He's so listless and tired.
I mean...
He just gets up there nowadays, and he just gives the speech, and he's just going through the motions.
I mean, he knows, like, occasionally when to use inflection, occasionally when to kind of try to do something with energy to make a point.
But he'll just go five, ten minutes of just flat teleprompter reading, and it is really...
It's really amazing how much the guy has fell off, even from 2020.
Like, I mean, now he's just...
Gets up there, points at a few people in the crowd, and then 10 minutes into the speech, she's just like, Grigod Kamala is going to try to steal this election and ruin America.
She's going to destroy America if she wins.
But I'm not going to let her destroy America.
I'm going to make America great when I win.
When I win, great things are going to happen.
And it's just, my God!
The cult around this man is so incredible and so impressive that his absolute no charisma delivery on his speeches doesn't impact these people.
They're still just weeping like, oh my god, he's killing it.
Oh, to hear the god emperor speak is to hear the voice of god in one's ears.
Oh, it's so beautiful.
I could be more passionate than this.
I could deliver his speech better than him.
Can I please talk about one guy that I was obsessed with at the MSG rally?
I went down a rabbit hole of this guy because his opening video fascinated me.
His name is Scott Labedo.
He did a live painting performance at the MSG rally and I didn't realize that I recognized this guy from a meme.
He did these pizza protests in New York a while back because his section banned Brick oven pizzas, so he was like throwing pizzas at government buildings or something, and he was like, pizza!
I mean, hey, this is a protest I can get behind, dude.
Literally!
Dude, I am team pizza.
They have brick oven pizza?
Fuck no.
I feel like even though he's a...
Because I often am fascinated by the artists in the Trump world because I myself am unfortunately an artist.
And he actually gave a speech about creativity in the MAGA world.
Um, and, uh, I feel like he does have, like, big performance art energy, like, with the pizza stuff that he did, and then, like, his performance was basically to just paint an American flag with, like, his hands, and then it unveiled,
like, a Trump hugging the Eiffel Tower, but he did it quickly to an opera performance of America the Beautiful, and it was, like, actually kind of impressive, um, But he's a piece of shit otherwise because he does these anti-migrant rallies.
But I kind of liked his energy because I felt like he was Bizarro Haley.
Because I like to put American flags in all my art and crosses just in a different way than him.
He means it in the patriotic way and I don't.
Don't sell yourself short.
We know how much you love America.
The video that it played of him before he spoke was like him, like, if you burn the American flag, I'm gonna find out where you fucking live and I'm gonna paint an American flag right across the fucking street from you!
And that was like the opening.
So that's the energy of this guy.
He's got a lot of energy.
There's a documentary about him that I feel like we should watch, Mike.
But yeah, Scott Lobato, he's a piece of shit, but that was a rabbit hole that I went down from the MSG rally.
Oh, I mean, I'm here for it, because everything about that thing was a train wreck that needs to be talked about, because...
And the other thing about it is, the idea that he would go to Madison Square Garden, what was the point?
Who are you mobilizing in New York?
You're not going to win the state.
You're going to get crushed in New York.
And yet, it's just obviously something that was a big bucket list checkoff for Trump.
That he wanted to do a rally at MSG to let everybody know he's king shit of New York.
And then it all flamed out so spectacularly for him.
And now all the Republicans have is mush mouth Biden mumbling.
Did somebody refer to him as the king of New York?
Like unironically there to a bunch of raucous cheers.
Oh, I'm sure they did.
They called him the king of New York and the man who built this city.
And it's like, what?
Donald Trump's dad is back from the dead?
It's crazy.
You guys should have let us know that you had the resurrection technology boy.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so right now Republicans are desperately flailing to try to get any attention onto Joe Biden drooling his way through saying that Trump supporters, what they said was bad, and that that What they were doing is garbage, and they're trying to make it a new deplorables.
They're trying to make it where Joe Biden attacks the rank-and-file Americans that just love Donald Trump, and he calls us all garbage.
And oh, that mean old Joe Biden.
It's like, look, we all know Biden can't talk.
That's why he's not running for re-election.
And Haley's Pizza's done, so that's good.
She can enjoy a pizza now.
But she's just getting it for protest.
She's going to wing it against a government building.
Yeah.
Dominoes in your face!
Smack!
Boom.
Yeah.
Because the reason why they're so mad is because the Puerto Rico thing broke containment.
It made it through mainstream media.
It was an issue.
At that Trump press conference I talked about, he didn't apologize for it, and that kept the news cycle going on it for a little while.
So they're desperate for any new thing to try to talk about, anything to distract the media from.
So non-candidate Biden saying something that he corrected immediately after he said it.
And if you look at the transcript, he's not saying what they claimed he said.
And again, not the candidate, not the guy that's running.
Kamala Harris even threw him under the bus, which...
Joe, love you for winning in 2020.
Now, don't talk again until this election's over.
Thank you, plus dicks.
But yeah, it's really amazing that this MSG rally was supposed to be this crowning moment of the Trump campaign, and instead they just stepped on their own dick so goddamn hard.
It was just incredible.
Trump will be here tomorrow for what is probably his last Arizona stop for the election, and he's doing a Tucker Carlson live show.
Oh, that's awesome, because that's going to be absolute horror, and also it'll let the old sleepy Trump sit down when he does the discussion, because standing for a long time makes our old tired man even more extra tired and old.
I mean, hey, I'm going to try to give them some slack on that one because I'm only getting older and more tired by the day.
I'm not trying to run for president of the United States.
And I'm also not planning on any comedians to say a bunch of offensive shit on my behalf.
If I'm going to say offensive shit, it'll be myself.
Maybe Donald Trump should try that sometime.
You know?
Yeah, hey Donald Trump, say offensive stuff.
See how that works for you.
Oh wait, no one actually cares.
It's part of your brand to be weirdly edgy and racist.
Yeah, Joe Rogan should have asked Donald Trump to rank the races.
Oh, God.
That would have gone really well.
That's the thing that's, like, really funny is, like, if Trump was ever in a situation, because when Kamala did Fox News and the Fox News reporter was like, Kamala, say something shitty about Trump supporters, and she absolutely would not take that bait and, like, sidestep the question.
If Joe Rogan said something like that to Trump, he would not be savvy enough to figure out that it was a trap.
And he would immediately...
He would walk right into that trap so goddamn hard, it would not even be...
It'd be hilarious how hard that trap would snap on his leg.
He'd be like, wham!
Donald Trump trapped 100%.
Just...
He is in that M. Night Shyamalan movie that apparently was totally incoherent and stupid.
That doesn't sound like any M. Night Shyamalan movie I've ever seen before.
They're all pretty down the plate and understandable and well put together.
Like T2B, lots of great dynamic performances.
Yes.
Like The Happening.
His magnum opus.
Anyway, is that all we need to talk about?
The garden?
Is that all the news that's fit to print?
I think we've covered the garden.
I think we're good.
I think we did it.
Okay.
Well, I won't let myself be distracted by the fact that we somehow avoided talking about the Washington Post thing.
And so we'll go to our mailbag quickly!
To the mailbag quick!
It's time for Q&A. Daily.
Daily.
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Coop-Prix.
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Cancel your watch and your post-subscription.
No.
No matter what anyone tells you.
Fuck them.
They deserve it.
But don't forget, Mike, there are tons of people in the bullpen that are just regular Americans like you or me that wanted to endorse Kamala Harris.
And it's just like, well, how else am I supposed to vote but with my dollar, you stupid fucks?
Well, cancel your Amazon subscription.
Amazon gives me what I want.
I want journalism from the Washington Post and I'm not getting it.
That's why I'm canceling.
So fuck them.
Yeah, shut up.
You can get all articles on archive.ph.
So there you go, everybody.
Yep.
Hell yeah, right on.
And I'm sure those sweet, sweet, sweet journalists can find work elsewhere.
Maybe they should look into this thing called the internet.
It's pretty cool.
It's a great place if you want to go and try to make a living writing a thing.
It's where a lot of people get their news these days, you know?
That sounds wild.
Yeah, it's a hell of a thing.
Anyway, mailbag.
Mailbag.
Pancake Peasant asks, I've just heard about Starseed theories.
Has that ever floated to the top of Qthought?
Have you heard these theories out in the wild?
Yeah, I've dealt with Starseed before.
Hayley's jumping out of her skin here.
Starseed is so popular on TikTok.
The youth conspiracy theorists love to say that they're Starseeds.
You'll also see Starseed kind of talk in witchy culture.
You're with a bunch of queer witches hanging out, and one of them drops that they're a Starseed.
That's probably my least favorite artificial persona that's getting a lot of traction now.
She's like, I'm a cozy witch!
It's just like, okay, cool.
That was fun when a small segment of the population was a cozy witch.
But now that every other lady is a cozy witch, I don't give a fuck about them anymore.
Who cares?
Just say that you're a woman in America in 2024.
I get it.
I have witchy friends, you know, and when they start to talk like this, I'm just like, I'm not religious.
And they get a little offended by that because it's like, you know, they see themselves...
Because they're just wearing it as a costume?
They don't care that it's got religious connotations?
And some of this shit where it's like, it just starts to get religious in itself and I'm just like, please don't make me do this.
Yeah, I mean, it is at the very least supposed to be deeply tied to spiritualism.
My witchy friends have altars to set and stuff.
And that's their thing.
That's not that much weirder to me than if somebody's got a fucking crucifix on their wall or whatever.
Although I don't tend to associate with those people because of all the essay or whatever.
But Generally, I'm just sort of like, hey, cool.
Whatever your religious practices are, I'll try to uphold those and be respectful.
But also, if you have an altar to set in your house, don't make it look like an end table and put it where an end table would be and then yell at me when I try to set a drink on it.
That one's on you.
The next time you're commuting with set, have a feng shui up this room a little bit so your altar can be someplace where it doesn't look like the end table should go.
Sorry.
What the hell is Starseed?
Is that just like comets hit America, hit Earth, and that's where we're from or whatever?
Yeah, Starseed basically means you're kind of born of a different dimension or that you're alien in some kind because you're not from Earth.
You are of a different race in that way.
It's kind of Scientology, honestly, it sounds like, but we'll let them have their fun.
Oh yes, the sour seeds.
Dude, what is up with like...
I don't know, man.
I don't understand why so many people let their narcissism get so hokey.
Shadily, I swear to God.
If it's Chaley who keeps blowing up, I mean...
It is.
It's Chaley.
I ignored it like the first two or three times.
Chaley!
I turned my Bluetooth off to stop my phone from dinging and it still does it.
I don't know.
I don't know why it does this.
I don't know why people let their narcissism start leading them into such an extra dramatic and comic book-y...
Like, I think I'm hot shit too, but I don't think I'm hot shit enough where it's just like, you know what, actually I'm so hot shit that I must be an ethereal, extra-dimensional being, and you're all too great to sniff my farts.
It's like, no, if I'm too great for y'all to sniff my farts, it's because I just rule.
It's just because I'm an exceptional human.
It's not because I'm a weird star citizen or whatever.
At its core, a starseed is an individual who feels a deep cosmic connection, a bond that goes beyond the earthly plane.
They often feel drawn to the stars, other planets, and the vastness of the universe.
They have an odd longing for home without really knowing what that even means.
So yeah, there you go.
That is nothing.
I mean, I appreciate that you looked up a description for me, but whoever wrote it, they know in their heart that that's nothing.
They wrote nothing.
That's nothing for anybody.
Oh, a special person who longs for something more.
Yeah, that's everybody.
Very few people are just like, you know what?
I'm satisfied with this.
I have no longing.
I know exactly where my home is, and all of my shit is perfectly together, and I'm perfect, and I'm great.
I mean, I'm sure some people are like that.
They would be the really special ones, you know?
If you find somebody who's just like, this is my home, and I think it's awesome, and everything's great.
Oh, God.
And I tapped on that thing, and it leads to a speech of some kind that goes for 21 minutes that you can buy for the low price of $26.
For $26, you can learn your Starseed origins from this person.
Well, go on and tell us.
Yeah, we're going to get right on that.
This podcast is going to be four hours long.
We're going to talk about whether or not Mike Rades is Starseed.
No, I'm incredibly...
We should do a bonus episode on Starseeds because the TikTok videos on Starseeds are something else.
These kids are making whole alternate universes that they lived in, and then it's part of the Starseed cult.
They're doing ice wall shit tied to the Starseeds.
The youth conspiracy theories are very...
I mean, it's just New Age spiritualism, but repackaged.
In 1991, every other New Age spiritualist had a picture of them as a silhouette with the cosmos inside of them.
Every stupid hippie thinks that they're in touch with the cosmos.
Yeah, I've done acid too.
It will do that to you.
I mean, there's some substances that when you put them in your body, you're just like, I get it.
Like, I totally understand.
Like, when you see ball lightning or, like, fairy wisps or whatever these, like, strange, like, atmospheric phenomena are, there are, like, one in a billion chances, and when they happen, it just looks completely insane.
Now we have photographs of them because we're monitoring our planet all the time.
Fuck 3,000 years ago, if you're like, Uggluck the caveman, and you see a fucking fairy sprite in the air, you're just like, you're gonna go describe that to people as God.
You're gonna be like, dude, I saw it looked like a squid made out of lightning, and it was fucking slowly hovering, it was red, it was crazy, shit is lit, it's time to sacrifice people to this.
Like, I get it.
So, drugs, the same sort of way.
But there's nothing new under the sun.
None of these, the Starseed, it's nothing.
You're not describing anything that's a new phenomenon.
You're just a new hippie.
Yeah.
Go just be an old hippie.
They already had like a, they've got all culture and all figured out.
Go do that.
You know?
Yeah.
The dead need fans.
When I see, when I see ball lightning, I just think of Slydex.
So, I'm pretty covered on that front.
Wow.
Fucking old man.
That's me.
Yeah.
Anyhow, MeBad asks, after Trump wins and the new patriotic mental hygiene agency will be established, what will your new patriotic Twitter names and profile pics be?
Government mandated, of course.
Oh, man.
This is tough because, first of all, it's like one of those joke tightropes where if you really wanted to swing for the fences, you'd end up calling Puerto Rico garbage.
I'm sorry.
What a fucking hack.
I don't know.
Probably something misogynist because it just seems like it would be the safest play.
I feel like it's pretty easy for those people to look over regular average misogyny.
But I'm not sure.
I'm like a pun name kind of guy.
I would have to do something fun with it.
But the problem is that playing in that sandbox is bad.
I don't want to go too hard trying to think of a funny pun name for a misogynist, racist, alternate dimension version of myself.
Not on public content.
Maybe bonus content is where we can get extra racist and fucking misogynistic like this.
Oh god, no.
But yeah, so for the sake of not getting cancelled, especially because we had a near miss last week, I will just say something clever and misogynistic.
Yeah.
I think what Elle said that kind of unlocked it for me is that you just make up some bullshit name that explains why you're forcing women to have births and to die as a result of pregnancy complications is good.
So my Twitter handle would be something like Protect Our Children, and my avatar would be like a newly born babe.
Like, you know, one of those little baby burritos.
A little baby in its swaddling blanket.
And I would just be my properly re-educated, Christ-loving self talking about the sanctity of human life and the importance of protecting our children and all that happy horse shit.
Hayley would not be allowed on the internet because women aren't allowed to speak anymore, so she doesn't have to worry about this.
Yeah.
In fact, I'm going to need you to cover up most, if not all, of your body.
Because otherwise...
Is that an ankle?
Oh god, I'm so close!
I think I would just keep my name though, Arizona Rightwatch, but I would have a disclaimer and it would be like, because we're right.
And I would just post the same shit I would post, but it was like, because here's Charlie Kirk saying something racist because he's right.
Yeah, Arizona right again.
He's right.
He's correct.
You know, but I would be pulling a wool over their eyes.
And then every few years you have a long-time follower of yours be like, you know, I've engaged with your conjure for a while and I just got it.
Uh-huh.
Those people are real dumb, is what I'm saying.
Dumb as fuck.
I mean, Kamala Harris can't say it.
I like what she got confronted.
And he's like, would you say that these people are stupid?
She's like, I would never say an American citizen.
I would never say the American people are stupid.
I will.
It turns out that roughly half of the country is dumb as fuck.
Can't be trusted with their votes or children.
I would personally, you know, when I get my powers, we're going to put a stop to that.
What I would say is I enjoyed Haley's idea because it felt to me like she was now an enforcer of right-wing thought speech.
She was here to make sure you are towing the company line and saying things appropriately.
Oh, she's here to watch you be right?
Yes.
Like right-wing?
Right, right.
Man, all Haley's are so much better than ours.
I'm too afraid to swing for the fences and I think that that is a correct impulse and unlike that ding-dong from MSG, I'm going to act on that one and defer.
But Haley's are all great because it's a shame that she won't be allowed on the internet.
Yes, it's very unfortunate.
Actually, Mike, dude, never mind.
I'm going to change my answer.
I'm just going to take Haley's channel.
I'm going to take all these good ideas and that channel and then I'm going to be the authority on what's going on in Arizona as a white guy who doesn't live there.
Perfect.
See, we got there, boys.
We workshopped it.
We landed the plane, and the best part about it is that people will be messaging you, and they'll be saying, hey, wait a minute, aren't you a woman?
Aren't women not allowed on the internet?
And you would just have to explain, no, no, this is an homage to the woman who was removed from the internet after glorious dictator Trump's wonderful victory in 2024.
That re-established the proper Christian theocratic republic of America that now I get to benevolently run this Twitter account for on behalf of our dearest leader.
Yeah, we're taking it back, you know?
Just like we're taking back the reservation land and all the other stuff that should be ours by right that we had to give up back when stupid liberals went in church.
I can only imagine what sort of horrible shit these people will do if Trump gets elected again.
Please, dear God, if there's a higher power, like hippies, star children, put your powers together and come all over the goal line.
Yes, please, you clowns.
What a bunch of clown.
That was our tiny mailbag this week, so what are you two looking forward to?
I think I finally solved my troubleshooting solution to get this fucking Pokemon mobile card game to work, and I want to play it real bad.
So as soon as we're done here, I'm going to continue to try to troubleshoot that.
And if it works, I will then play Pokemon card game on mobile, and it'll be great.
No, Pokemon TCG Pocket, for those of you who actually care.
Which I don't expect as many, and nor should you.
But yeah, I'm a sucker for that sort of thing, so I'm about that life.
And also, it's my day off, so I kind of had planned to just loaf around and have stuff on on the background for chuckles, and then just play Pokemon until my eyes bled.
But so far, it's been a troubleshooting kind of morning.
It was deflating.
I was defeated.
But now that I think I've solved my problem, I'm reinvigorated.
I am very glad to hear that you got the Pokemon game working, because we've been talking about it for a while now, so that'd be awesome.
Well, we shall see.
Currently, it is stuck in Japanese, because the problem, it turns out, is with the English language fight.
You know what?
Nobody cares about this.
What are you excited about, Shaylee?
Yes.
Have I mentioned that I'm excited for this election to be over?
Once or twice.
Ha!
No, yeah, I know.
I literally can't think of anything else.
Geez.
Aw, geez.
On Animal Crossing, they're currently dressed up with their little costumes because it's Halloween season, and that's cute.
That's what I'm going to play.
Oh, also, I'm actually going to a Halloween party.
Tomorrow, because it's Halloween.
Happy Halloween, everybody!
Oh yeah, we got most of the way through this podcast without mentioning that we're recording the day before Spooky Day.
And it'll be Halloween tomorrow when this drops, so happy Halloween, listeners.
Only misdemeanors, Halloweeners!
Yes, I too am looking forward to Halloween because I am off work and Haley's showing me her Dalmatian fingernails.
Cow.
Yeah, they're cow print.
I mean, she's got a theme.
Haven't you seen her cow print chair cover?
Yes, I see the cow print chair cover.
She had that picture of her rocking that excellent cow print top that one time.
And that's why she wants Kamala to win, because Kamala's going to get rid of all the cows.
Once Kamala's president, no more cows.
The cow cost will begin in earnest, which is, again, something that would have ended anyone else's campaign if they were talking about it constantly.
But our American media just listens to Donald Trump.
Old man stemwinder just babbling about cows.
Also, where's this war on beef?
You know?
Like, I mean, I eat the same amount of beef I've pretty much always eaten.
What parts of the country are eating beef so often that if they stop doing it constantly, it becomes a big to-do?
It's just like, hey man, not for nothing, but if you wanted to fight this battle, it needed to be when big chicken shredded into town.
Because if anything cut into the beef market, it was chicken.
Did I eat so much more chicken than beef?
Pick your battles, big beef!
Go out to the chicken market.
Let them fight.
Yeah.
Yeah, so looking forward to Thanksgiving, looking forward to this election, looking forward for Election Day to come and go, and then from the fallout after that.
I mean, this is a different election than the last two, because the last two, it was just a given.
There was no way Trump was going to win the goddamn thing.
And then on an election night in 2016, oh my God, shocker, he won.
That sucks.
And then in 2020, you had this five hours of terror where it looked like Trump was going to win again.
And then Fox News of all places called Arizona for Biden.
And then suddenly the door was open for sleepy Joe to win that thing.
And I remember going to bed having done the math and being like, well, it wasn't a blowout, but I can get Joe to 270 now so I can go to sleep.
And then when I woke up, Michigan and Wisconsin had already flipped and now Pennsylvania was being counted.
And it looked like Biden was going to win over 300 electoral votes.
And it was like, oh, thank God.
So it was just kind of...
We had like two election cycles of just there was no way Trump was going to win.
This is the first election cycle we've had where back when Biden was the candidate, Trump was just dog walking him.
And then he crushed him in the debate, which was horrifying.
And I mean, now that Kamala's- Biden fell apart.
Like, Biden collapsed.
Out of old age, while Donald Trump looked on, it was just like, I have not fallen over on stage and have declared the victor by a landslide.
That's fair.
We can go with Biden lost instead of Trump won.
I'm totally okay with that.
But yeah, it's just, this was the first campaign where the media is telling you, Donald Trump might win this thing!
And that's literally what we've been hearing for the past six months, and now Haley is very much a cow.
Excuse me?
Yes.
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
That was pretty rude.
No, we're not.
I'm just kidding.
It was very rude.
But Hayley asked for it.
Literally dressed like that.
Boom.
I'm getting cancelled so hard.
You have no idea.
But, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you painted yourself into a corner there.
What are you going to do?
Start effusively praising her?
That'll come across as creepy.
You're going to make a joke.
It's going to come across as, you know...
No, no, no.
Just pull out!
Unlike Latinos, right?
Oh!
Edgy Frost comic!
Yeah!
Oh shit!
Latinos like to do it inside like everyone does.
Got them!
Yeah!
How dare you make me identify as being similar to Latinos in this way?
Oh shit, you don't like it either?
Dude, it's the worst.
But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do about it, right?
Oh, sweet Christmas.
Okay, is that the end of your future thinking?
I can't believe you used Thanksgiving this early.
There's still three weeks away from that.
You're going to have to come up with three more weeks worth of stuff, and you know that if you do football every week, I'm just going to jump down your throat.
Fair.
Anyway, thank you so much, dear listener, for listening to the show this week.
Hopefully no sound issues, and if there are, remember, it's Mike's fault, never my fault.
It's time for us to fuck our way out of Hellworld for the week.
Fuck our way out of.
No, get the fuck out of Hellworld.
Let's say that, because that is more appropriate for everyone involved.
Thank you for listening.
If you want to support the show, even harder, but still for free, you can give us a five-star review wherever you get your show from.
If you have money and you want to donate to the cause, patreon.com slash pokerpolitics.
Five dollars more per month gets you access to all of our bonus content.
Thank you so much to the beautiful or babies up in the crib.
If you have money and you want to do good with it, there's a billion ways to do that.
We believe in your judgment, but if you need assistance, we've always suggested love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Thanks, as always, to DJ Middlemore Ever for use of our original theme song, Accidentally Remixed by Mike Rains, and to what you heard at the top of the show.
Thanks to our buddy Frosty, who is formative.
You can find Frosty, who does all of our voiceover work, at FrostyVO over on Blue Sky.
You can find this show, The Adventures of Hell World, on Twitter, at Hell World, with a Q instead of an O. Myself, also on Twitter, Hell World Fatty, spelled the same way, but all I do is talk shit about pop culture stuff, so ignore me unless that's your jam.
If you're interested in more political stuff, though, you can check out Hayley on various social media at Arizona Right Watch or AZRW and Mike Rains on various social media at Poker Politics.
So for another successful episode of the Adventures of Hell World podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by Haley, a.k.a.
Chaley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics.
Good speed, patriots!
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