Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #210: Trump Sways in the Breeze
This week we cover the train wreck that was Elon Musk's robot rollout. We explain how the latest attempt at assassinating Trump wasn't actually an assassination attempt. Haley covers an Arizona based QAnon grifter and then we talk about Ian Carroll trying to make a name off Tim Walz and Donald Trump swaying in the breeze at a town hall. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Velkommen til kompani Lauritsen Tropp 3.
Jeg har åtte dårlig tredd for det her.
Vi skal nå avholde en sesjon, og 22 unge skal gjennom masse øvelser og tester.
Iverksett! Halvete!
Vi har ikke vært sett, de har ikke blitt forstått.
Hvis vi skal få til det her, så kan vi ikke få til en ditt.
Nå skal vi hjelpe dem så de kan finne kraften i seg selv, og at de kan komme seg videre i livet.
Ja, det er det en som skal se, da.
Vi skal i hvert fall gjøre så godt vi kan.
Det er klart for kompani Lauritsen Tropp 3.
Se nå på TV 2 Play.
Uff, jeg begynner å bli litt småsultne.
Jeg tror jeg har et eple i væsken min.
Banan. Det går bra.
Her var det en pære.
Hva mener du? Skal vi se?
Bringebær. Hvordan får du plass til alt det her i væsken din?
Vent litt. Her er det et gressk...
Nei, det var bammelom.
På Ekstra, hvor du får alt i åtte.
Blant denne periodens alt i åtte finner du norske røde epler til 29 kroner per kilo, og to pakk løk til 10 kroner.
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The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon.
While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello everybody, I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week I am trained, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Rightwatch. Um, hello, the beautiful babies out there.
Hello. Welcome.
Happy Halloween, almost.
We're getting there. And I'm also joined by the mysterious L. Daughters, lock up your mothers.
It is Return of the Mac.
L is back. Baby!
Specifically you, my beautiful babies.
Hello, I back. Please don't hide your mothers.
I need them because I am of a certain age and I'm looking for your moms.
I guess. Didn't really know where I was going with that one.
I realized that we're in the Halloween season.
I should have more Halloween stuff prepared, but I didn't.
So instead I went y'all young gravy with it.
It doesn't feel like Halloween here because it's still so hot.
Yesterday it was actually not...
It didn't reach 100.
It was like 99.
I was so happy.
I was happy. Your state, as always, sounds like a nightmare.
Yeah. It feels fall AF here.
Like the classic sort of...
Anything that wasn't filmed in Burbank, California, fall, TV show fall, where it was just like, oh, snap, leaves everywhere, a bunch of people yelling at each other in traffic jams and the drizzly cold.
It's great. Yeah, we're actually getting to that crispness in the air kind of fall, where it just feels chilly, but a nice kind of chilly.
You're not like, ah, this is bone chilling, oh, it's so cold.
You're like, ah, it's brisk.
I just feel like a briskness in the air that is kind of bracing and enjoyable.
And honestly, I'll still take my bones being fully chilled over my whole body just producing liquid because it's fucking hot as fuck outside.
I don't want to feel like a Turkish wrestler anytime I step outside just covered in a layer of my own oil.
No thank you. Good ass.
Yeah, I'll take any weather in New England, basically, over any weather in Dallas from my time there, where it was just the moment you step outside the hotel, just bam!
Oh my god, I still think about that.
I don't know how to do it.
Oh yeah, it's just, do you like 80 plus percent humidity every day of your life?
Go to Dallas!
Oh god, like...
If I'm outside and it's more than 72 degrees outside, my forehead, I'm sweating like that guy in the Coolio music video for Gangsta Paradise.
I'm sweating like the Key and Peel meme.
Wow, that was hard to get out. Yeah, dude.
My front head gets sweaty immediately.
And I'm just like, dude, see, this is why I need you to keep your mothers unlocked.
How am I supposed to attract a young woman looking like that?
You know? I look like I'm filming an Old Spice commercial for my fourth.
I hate it. Every part of my body sucks and I would love to get uploaded immediately.
So Elon Musk, if you could stop being a dickhead and start getting on that, that would be great.
Yeah, you wouldn't want the Elon Musk upload.
You would get fried immediately.
Oh! You would have...
What I think would have to lie for it, but I did just watch him land a rocket on a thing, you know?
He's taking credit for that.
That was all him, right? That was definitely all him.
He did all the math for that himself.
I love how people are just like, everyone's ignoring how impressive this is because they hate Elon Musk, but he had no part of this except for, you know, getting his name and shit all over it.
This is awesome! TikTok people are desperately appealing.
Like, care about this rocket, it's important!
It's like, yeah, the rocket's great, but Elon, we've seen the interviews and the articles about how Elon is treated as a child king who is kept away from all the important decision-making processes of SpaceX so that they can just do stuff.
And then when it happens, Elon's like, yes, that thing that happened, it was because of me.
And they're just like, yes, yes, it was.
Child king. Yes, it was.
For legal reasons, I'd like to start talking about a person who doesn't exist, a hypothetical person, instead of Elon Musk for a moment.
But this hypothetical person is one of those people who has gotten to a point where it's just like, it's clear they've never gotten their asses beat.
And, you know, like, I'm not saying that violence is the answer to all problems, but I will say that it teaches lessons that can't be taught otherwise.
Like, and anybody who says that that's wrong has just never been beaten.
Like, you know, like, there are lessons that can be taught through a beating.
And, you know...
Backed out of the fight with...
Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg who is becoming more human by the press conference?
No, that's a PR move.
It is working.
It turns out that a lot of his seeming like a robot persona was the fact that he looked like a robot when he was out in public.
You know, we will soon, we'll probably in our lifetime get to the point where we will know exactly how important it is for your outward persona to not make you look like a robot if you are in fact a robot.
Because that's coming down the pipeline in a variety of ways and it's, you know, capitalism's driving that baby.
That's why Chaley has wore her wonderful pro-capitalism shirt.
It just says capitalism. It says nothing under it, it just says capitalism.
Capitalism. Capitalism, it's just like a anthropomorphized cat smiling with a big thumbs up under it.
Just capitalism! Ding!
Mike's making a funny joke because I get the joke of the shirt.
It just says capitalism, but it's red like a communist thing.
I get it. It's... It's a subversion.
And it's also got that very Russian sort of grim, harsh font.
I get it. It's a subversion.
It's a slogan that says capitalism can suck dick or something like that.
It says capitalism can suck my little ass dick.
And I'm not kidding.
This is lighthearted top-of-the-hour banter.
When I went into my Uber the other day, my Uber driver was just like crushing monsters, smoking weed in the car, and yapping on the phone with his buddy really loud.
I mean, he seemed all right.
He was concerned that his mom...
Is maybe getting a little racist in her older years despite being a liberal.
And he's like, what's up with that?
Asking his friend. And I'm just like eavesdropping, like laughing in my head.
And then he gets done with the conversation.
He's like, sorry about that.
Turns the radio on to the come town guy, Stavros.
And it's just Stavros talking about fucking a yeast infected pussy.
And he's like, oh shit, sorry about that.
And I'm just like...
And I'm just like, it's okay.
I have a shirt of his that says capitalism can suck my little ass dick, but I'd prefer not to listen to this.
And that's what made me grab the shirt out.
So that's the story of why I'm wearing this.
Also, if that story isn't a lie made up for comedy, why?
And if it is true, also why?
You don't have to fuck.
I don't get it. Everybody seems really hung up on the stuff that makes them nut.
I was complaining about this on my Twitter.
No, not you. Either Stavros or not Stavros.
Either somebody was lying or somebody was not lying.
In either case, why? Yeah.
Your story seems perfectly plausible.
I've been to tons of cars with dickheads who are like that.
I mean, they never turned on the radio to East and...
Yeah, it's all that nonsense, but...
That's horrible.
I was trying to spare the listeners that part, too.
I'm sorry. It's okay.
Hey, at least you're the one talking about it.
I mean, you know, like...
I'm not sharing my...
We would never, for a variety of reasons.
Oh, man. I'm so enjoying just sitting silently in the corner as this madness washes over me like a waterfall.
And I'm happy that my camera isn't on because I have a huge boner.
It's so big it'd be taking up the screen.
I'm not kidding, guys! It's so big!
Is that a horror movie?
The Boner That Kills.
That'd be great. Dude, everybody's like...
Oh god, what's her name?
The woman from Transformers.
Megan Fox. Everybody was just like, Megan Fox got the short end of the stick.
You know, she deserved more screen time in Hollywood.
She's surprisingly funny and cool.
And I agree.
And I think a movie that would be perfectly under a wheelhouse would be a movie where she gives people the Boner That Kills.
Yeah. Because she seems like she'd be fucking game for that.
And she's, like, obviously clearly incredibly attractive.
And I'm one of those people that agree that she got sort of, like, the short shrift in Hollywood because of being tied to that Michael Bay lunatic.
So, anyway. And Camp Horror is kind of, like, where she excelled.
What was it? What was that movie?
Jennifer's Body, her big horror movie.
You know, I still haven't seen it, but I've seen, like, a billion clips from it, so I feel like I have seen it.
Anyway, look at us. We backdoored our way into talking about spooky season.
Look at us. Maybe that'll be the plotline of Terrifier 4.
It'll be the murder boner part.
The boner that kills. I mean, hey, apparently those Terrifier guys got it figured out.
Like, whatever they're doing in those movies, none of which I have seen, seems to be working.
Because I believe each one of them makes more money than the last.
Which, in terms of a franchise, is what you would like.
I'm sure Marvel is looking at that and being like, man, we remember those days.
Yeah. We remember those long, by God, days where each one of our movies made more money than the last one.
Yeah, I saw there was some video on TikTok of the actual actor was dressed up as Art the Clown and scaring people at a Spirit Halloween because he was pretending to be an animatronic and then he would just do a jump scare at people and freak them out.
Yeah, he's been doing a lot of Spirit co-marketing this year, which I think is a good wheelhouse for something like Art the Clown because Art the Clown is not Michael Myers famous, but Spirit Halloween famous is about where Art the Clown is currently.
Right. And that actor I saw on TikTok doing a Joker impersonation.
He's got like a pretty decent Joker in his back pocket.
She's like, do I think you're going to get the job?
No. But do I think you could get the job as like a voice actor at some point?
Absolutely. Yeah. The funniest thing I saw from one of those Spirit Halloweens was he did the jump scare and then like a five-year-old child like ran over to him and high-fived him.
She was like, excellent job scaring those people.
Well done, murderous clown.
And it's just like... Every once in a while, you'll come across wholesome videos of little children, like, hugging a Michael Myers that is trying to scare them or whatever, because, like, some children just know no fear.
Or they just like the thing they like, and they don't care how scary it is.
Yes. They're like, Michael Myers seems a pretty cool guy.
Go give him a big hug.
Yes. Exactly.
I saw that some people were fighting on Twitter, which is always a great way to start an anecdote.
But yeah, I saw some people fighting on Twitter.
Somebody had the audacity to say that horror movie slasher villains don't tend to kill children.
And then that was transparently pretty dumb, and a bunch of people dogpiled on them.
But then in the midst of all of that, I saw, like, somebody else on Twitter was complaining about Terrifier, probably the most recent one I would imagine, where they're just like, yeah, movies lose me when they, like, horror movies lose me when they use, like, children dying as, like, such and such.
And I was just like, bro, you run a Scream fan account, my guy.
Like, what in the world are you on about?
Yeah. I feel like it'd be pretty tough to be a slasher horror movie fan and also just be like, when they kill kids, it's a bridge too far.
It's just like, yeah. Freddy Krueger, one of everyone's favorite slashers.
That guy was a pedophile and he became a demon in dreams to explicitly murder kids.
That was his whole deal.
He's like, you know what I love doing?
Murdering children, but not before sexually torturing them.
And everyone's like, Freddy Krueger, yay!
We love him! Um, it...
It is pretty popular and has a pretty graphic scene in the actual book.
Yeah, tell me you've never read that novel without telling me you've never read that novel.
I like when the kids get mixed up too much in this horror stuff and it's just like, oh no.
Cooked out Stephen King had a real ballsy idea for how he wanted one of his scenes to go.
So get this! And then in the midst of all the terror, all the kids get together and they fuck each other real good!
Yeah, I'm a Coke! Okay, cool.
Get it out of the movie, which made it more enjoyable.
It was so shocking that no studio executive was like, oh, the child gangbang?
Yeah, take that out of the movie.
I bet if you're on one of the sketchier social media platforms, there were people who had some vocal opinions about that change in the movie.
Yeah. Like, and then just a bunch of people who were using regular Twitter at the time just quietly seething that they couldn't complain about it publicly.
Yeah. The book was better.
There was so much texture in the book that they cut out of the book.
There's so much in the book. It should have been on the screen that wasn't in the screen.
And it's just like, oh, do you mean like the stuff about the turtle and all that?
And he's like, well...
Don't worry, that take is coming on Twitter eventually.
There'll be a discourse. Now that Twitter's unmoderated, essentially.
Oh yeah, I'm sure there are people who are just like, make America great again!
We can watch the movies we wanted and the way we wanted, quietly, in our bedrooms with our stepdaughters.
It's like, okay, well...
Yeah. Just kidding, none of those people are ever like that.
They're all great. They're great people on both sides.
LAUGHTER We're back, baby!
The show's already tremendously weird and terrible, so let's get into our amuse-bouche!
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche!
Weird and terrible seems like a great segue for our official weekly discussion of Elon Musk.
I mean, we already scored some points on him because he's a stupid dickhead, but now we get to talk about him and his stupid dickhead robots.
So, Mike, what's going on with sexy Elon Musk and his sexy Elon robots?
So Elon had a...
I don't know what the exact point of it was, but it was kind of like a new things, new rollout of stuff that we're doing here at Exville or whatever.
Here at Globocorp, we are going to brand this as a...
A relevancy event.
Elon Musk had a relevancy event.
Yes. Yeah, so the first thing that he unveiled was the robo-taxi, which was this slow-moving, allegedly autonomous driving vehicle, which no, it's not.
And as a lot of people pointed out, if there was like a pebble on the road where that thing was driving, it would have like flipped over on its side and immediately exploded into a ball of fire.
I'm glad that Elon Musk is bold enough to be presenting us with the bold vision of the future that is eight years ago when Waymo hit the streets and has been doing its thing or whatever, you know?
Waymo's been around for a while.
And there's a reason why there's no national rollout of Waymo, despite the fact that they've sunk so much of their time and effort into R&D. And it's because you need all that contingency stuff.
Otherwise, you're just gonna be buried in lawsuits as you murder kids until the government tells you you can't car no more.
Yes. Waymo is very active in Phoenix.
You can get them through Uber and like I see them everywhere, but they're incredibly limited of where they can even go.
So if you pick one up, you can't take it on the freeway or anything because they're still like, they're, they're not, they're still, they still got a ways to go.
Would you like a Waymo to take you five minutes down the street to the supermarket and then back?
That will be $700, please.
It's like, oh man, what decadence.
This is totally worth it.
I mean, hey, for the people like Beverly Hills or the other markets where it is where they're taking that shit to Erewhon, I'm sure they do not give a fuck.
Oh, yeah. But yeah, I mean, you know, like, there's a variety of reasons why the Robotaxi was dumb, but I'll let you continue on his relevancy rollout.
Yes, so after the Robotaxi, which is a joke, we then got robots that shambled into the party, and they were called Optimuses, I believe, which is Optimus Prime is now rolling in his grave.
Fuck you, Elon. And...
The whole concept of these robots was that they were actual robots, that this was literally just an AI near sentient being.
And then when people asked Tesla and Elon, so exactly what is going on with these robots?
Immediately, massive quantities of flop sweat began forming on their foreheads.
And they were like, trade secret!
No comment! And then they ran into a wall and ran through it and left a cartoonish silhouette of their body as they exploded through the wall because they didn't want to actually talk about what was robot and what was not robot.
And it turns out what was not robot was literally all of it.
It was an actor in mocap, like, doing the movements, and the robot was mimicking them.
So if you were an actor being the bartender, you had to, like, grab a glass in front of you and then pour it into another glass, and the robot would follow your movements.
So... The funny thing is, is...
It was incredibly obvious that that was how they were doing that trick to anyone who pays attention to that sector even a little bit.
Because even just with my passing, watching tech TikToks and stuff, there are robots that are doing that sort of stuff better than that.
But there is a latency between you giving it an instruction and it being able to do stuff because it has to think via artificial learning.
So you're just like, hey, pour me a drink.
And it'll be like, cool.
And then it'll think for a second.
And then bamboozle, here you go.
It can do the thing.
And once again, a technology that already exists.
But if Elon Musk had a company that had developed some sort of Latency eliminating technology to make his robots better.
I feel like he'd be crowing pretty loud about that one.
Because I feel like it would have a lot of implications.
I've been served by a robot in Casa Grande, Arizona at a Denny's.
You know, like it was one of those food bots that just like, yeah, it brings you your food.
And, and that's it.
That's its job. And, you know, you're not breaking anything when you're in a like rural middle of nowhere fuck town of Arizona.
You just made it look like a person is what people want.
It looks like sci-fi from the 50s.
He's bringing a sci-fi from the 50s to give the boomers what they wanted to see.
And like the bus thing pissed me off so much because I saw some Arizona Republicans being like, oh my gosh, Elon reinventing the bus.
And it's like the Republicans here that fucking hate public transportation and it's like, you guys don't like this shit.
You just like it right now because Elon is like, here, here's a bus with a reskin.
Yeah, so the third unveiling was a bus.
It was like an autonomous shuttle, but it was pretty obviously just a bus by a different name.
It looked like a bus you would have to pay a taxi fare for, which is crazy.
Why would anybody want to do that?
Yeah. And as Haley said, the robots are just designed to be iRobot-looking robots, and that's the only value they have, is aesthetic.
Because if you just had a robot on a little treadmill, like, whirr over to you, and then...
From inside its bowels it produced a plate that had your breakfast on it and placed it on the table in front of you and then removed the arm that the plate was under and then it just went back on its treadmill away from you.
That would be a robot that served you breakfast.
But it would look...
Shitty, and like a robot that was not a humanoid.
So all Elon's robots are is just, look at this humanoid-looking robot.
Doesn't that make you think sci-fi and adventure and fantasy?
And it's like, yeah, but it isn't practical.
I mean... There's, on no planet would I rather have a robot with, like, knee joints than a robot that's just, like, scooting around on its little treadmill, on its little tread path.
Oh, I mean, I can certainly think of a handful of scenarios, at the very least, where I would very much be, like, if I'm stranded on a desert island with a robot, where I might want it to look like a person.
But nobody wants to admit that that's what the primary goal for that would be.
It's just like, yeah, but if it's humanoid, you can, you know, like, you know.
And it's just like, hmm?
You can modify this thing however you want, you know?
No. But it was also funny that the voices of the robots were very clearly just guys on the other end talking also.
Because there was one guy that was like, when he got asked, like, so are you like fully autonomous?
And he's like, he couldn't say autonomous.
The robot couldn't say it.
He was like having trouble getting the word out.
And he was clearly just like a bro.
He's like, uh, I'm like...
Like, part-autonomous.
Like, you know?
Like, he just sounded like a bro-bot.
Very obviously not, like, a program or anything.
Oh, my God, I love the term robot.
In the chat that I need you to see.
I need you guys to see this.
From Hawk2aGirl.
Ah, no. Sorry, you could have sold it a number of ways, but you failed.
Okay, I'll look at it.
I'll check it out. But while I'm checking it out, I do want to say, on the positive robot front, I guess, give or take, fuck Elon Musk and his stupid robot that's just a guy in a suit or a guy in a mo-cap suit behind a curtain.
But, you know what is pretty sweet?
If you guys see these crazy puppets they made for the studio we are working on for that DC animated movie that came up, So there's this test reel that's been floating around of these people in this studio who have designed this incredible puppet system that looks like a...
look like CGI characters. I mean, it's kind of hard to describe, but they don't look like puppets at all. They look like animated. So like on a black background, they're difficult to distinguish from CGI characters. So blended with CGI, that should look really good. And it's just like, you know, that's the sort of stuff I would like to point to and be like, see, these are engineers doing cool stuff. Like, you know, look at this thing. Like Elon Musk is trying to present technology that we all know exists. It's technology that we all know exists from even longer than that.
But look at these people.
They're actually innovating. So good.
I wish I could do the name of that studio.
Oh yeah, also, back to this Hawk Tua tweet.
It's about this meme, is what I'm saying, because I'm still trying to understand the meme game that she's going with, because I saw that, like, Mr.
Beast did an ad for her, like, he watched Hawk Tua in the movie theater, and I'm just like, why is this person, like, blowing up and getting all these deals when, like, this is the content that she's putting out, which is, please someone describe this for our listeners.
Yeah. I mean, it's the Optimus robot with the Haktua girl's head on it with the red activation eyes and, like, a big stupid hat.
Read it. Read it.
Haktumus by Tessula.
First of all, she did not write that.
I'm assuming that she has some stupid intern that wrote that.
Second of all, I mean, like, I get the...
Whoever made this, I'm assuming that they also did not make this.
No. Is it like the joke here, what I was saying?
Like, here's the Optimus robot in its perfect form, a version that will fucking blow you, because that's all this girl is known for.
And it's just like, yo, you know what?
And she's here cross-posting it.
She's like, you know what? I support this.
My eyes are red with activation.
Please modify your Optimus robot to make it look like me to suck your dick.
How am I supposed to interpret that?
The thing you are known for is literally that and you've put your head on a robot?
I mean, I don't know, man.
Am I supposed to think it's a podcast robot?
Uh, yeah, I guess that's a, maybe it's high art, I guess.
You know, I don't know. I don't get it still.
I'm just, every, every episode, there's a few things that I think.
I mean, also, hypothetically, if I was going to get my freak out with a robot, I would rather have it look like that than just, like, the cold, unfeeling black dome of the regular Optima's robot, which I only feel comfortable saying because she posted that image.
Like, she is the one presenting that image to me.
Yeah, that's the thing, is I've seen people posting memes of a guy with a very obviously robot woman.
The robot doesn't have human skin or anything, they're just all circuits, but they have...
A feminine shape.
They have, like, booba.
They have, like, hips.
And then there's a human woman on the side of the road crying because now she can't get a guy because guys are so happy fucking the robots.
Oh, yeah. So the wage slave meme of the say hello to your replacement retail worker or whatever.
It's coming for women, for regular human women.
Right, exactly.
Really? Tech bros?
Misogynists? I don't believe it.
Get fucked, biological bitch!
I'm with my tech girl now.
I've got this crypto woman.
There'll be new slurs for women.
They'll call us bios. Somebody had the greatest tweet where they posted, I can't wait for the slurs we're going to have about these robots.
And then right below that, somebody said, I can't believe how much I hate these clankers.
And it was just like, bam, we're doing it.
We're already slurring the AI bots.
I mean, you know, people want it and hate it.
People don't know what they want. I mean, people have been dreaming about the humanoid robot for literally a century at this point.
But now that we're getting to the point where it's feasible or going to be feasible maybe in our lifetime, people are going to have to...
Generations hence, from when it was initially conceived, people are having to reckon with it.
They're just like, oh shit, Rosie the Robot is about to become real, huh?
I mean, I remember my grandpa talking about Rosie the Robot.
That's kind of weird. She does a fat dumpster, though, so that's pretty nice.
You know what? Maybe I do fuck with this robot.
Literally. Hell world.
Yeah, I mean, it sucks that that's the world we live in, but I mean, I'm just being honest, you know?
Yes. People, especially men, are just criminally stupid when it comes to what gets them off, including robots.
Anyway, speaking about stuff that gets me off, Trump assassination attempt.
No, just kidding. That's out of pocket.
It wasn't a real attempt, right?
It was just a Yahoo with a gun.
Anyway, for this one, I had a specific note from Mike Raines that said, throw to Haley.
So I'm assuming this happened in Arizona.
No, it didn't.
I don't, I just, I was, me and Mike were texting, and I was just clearly reading about it, so I guess I get the, I get the ball.
I just think this- I saw this, I saw this, like, come and go through the news cycle, as it was just like, guy with, go!
Trump support, okay, whatever. I mean, that's, that's just, the, the, the news media, like, stiff-armed that story.
It was just like, missile hits Gaza Hospital.
Yeah. Because he's not facing any charges related to, like, an assassination attempt or anything, because it was actually more like right-wing media and, like, right-wing, like, commentators that kind of blew this out of proportion, claiming it was an assassination attempt, because they...
I mean, we talked about this a few weeks ago, but some people hurt their eyeballs from some lights at a Trump rally in Tucson, and they tried to claim that was an assassination attempt.
There was another incident that was not an assassination attempt that Mag World tried to paint an assassination attempt.
I forgot exactly the details of it.
That was the guy who had a self-trained explosive detecting dog, and he thought he found an explosive somewhere, and then they arrested him for being a weirdo, doing that near Trump.
It all kind of went out in the wash.
But this guy, Vem Miller, he was going to go see Trump at Coachella.
And he showed up, as you do, this man is a sovereign citizen.
Which, those guys are everywhere around here.
There's like a church near me that like...
Like, teaches people how to be sovereign citizens.
Like, these guys are hilarious.
For listeners who don't know, these people basically make their own rules and kind of have their own laws, and they make their own fake license plates and their own fake...
IDs and they think that they don't have to follow...
They love citing and or occasionally just outright writing all of passages from the Bill of Rights or the Constitution or whatever.
And it's just like, here's my fucking ID, loser.
They're like, you know, they're like, they're the people that you'll hear someone say, like, technically we're only on the 15th president.
And it's like, what are you talking about, man?
You know? Yeah.
I'll have you know, Haley, it's the 18th president because Graham was the one who sold this out.
Trump's going to be the 19th president when he gets in the office, let me tell you.
So these are the, like, just fringe weirdos who, like, think they found secrets in the Constitution and laws and stuff.
And this guy showed up in California, Coachella, for the Trump rally with...
Fake plates, fake IDs, fake passports, illegal guns, and a deputy stopped him because he noticed the fake plates.
Their fake plates are always kind of noticeably comical too.
It's just like, that's not a plate that exists in America.
Yeah. And when he got pulled over, he was kind of just like open with the deputy like, hey, I got a bunch of guns also, but it's not to like kill Trump or anything.
It's just for personal safety.
It's like, well, so we're in California.
Let's check those guns out.
Oh, they're completely illegal.
You're going to jail. So then like MAGA World kind of turned on him because they were like, he was trying to kill Trump, but A lot of MAGA World has also worked with this guy and was just like at rallies with him like a week or two ago and people like Mindy Robinson who's like a QAnon kook who's run for things and Nevada.
Like, fucking know this guy.
So a lot of... Some people were coming to his defense.
Some people were claiming assassination attempt.
But that's this guy. He was on, like, the Stu Peter show the, like, following day.
Um... So, yeah, that's what's going on with Mr.
Vem Miller. It's funny how all the attempted Trump assassinations are just, like, extreme accelerationist looking, you know, nihilist accelerationist guy.
And a former Trump voter, now never Trumper, and, like, a Trump lover solves it.
It's just, like... Still no libs or leftists.
They're so angry they can't get any juice off of any of this shit.
They so want their blue-haired lesbian, just-had-seven-abortions psychopath to be the one to take a pop at them, and they never get it.
They never get their perfect would-be assassin.
Instead, it's always these clowns who are either Republicans or are clearly really in favor of all the stuff Republicans love.
Just, yeah, my whole house is built out of guns.
Or I literally...
Dude, to be fair, Gun House would be pretty fucking lit.
Yes! I'd be proud of Gun House, too, if I had it.
It's practical? Fuck no.
But it's home.
Yes. I've spent every weekend of the last seven years protesting at an abortion clinic.
I live only to save the unborn.
Just some kind of lunatic like that.
It's always the guy that takes a swing at Trump.
It's never just...
They can never get their Lee Harvey Oswald communist lunatic to actually be the one that does it.
And as a result, all of...
They just thought they had so much juice when Trump got his ear grazed.
They were like, oh shit, this election's in the bag.
We've already won it.
And then it turned out that Crooks was a dumb Republican and his dad scored really high on a 2016 Trump voter database for being ultra MAGA. And they were like, oh!
And also, everybody just had to sober up to the realization that a fucked up that that was and something that shouldn't be going down didn't really move the needle.
Yeah. All the people that don't like Trump were just like, oh no, poor guy.
Little buddy. So glad he's okay.
And all the people that loved Trump were just like, ah, fucking the liberals!
They're good for our guy!
He was right the whole time!
See? It's just like, okay.
So you had maybe a few undecided people that were just like, oh...
Like, I have believed, I've been tricked into thinking that a liberal took their shot, so now I vote for Trump.
But I don't really think there are that many people left in the world, you know?
Trump was already the president.
This campaign's been going on for a while.
Like, people know where they stand for the most part.
Yeah. And as you said, that's the other thing, is that if Trump had actually pivoted off the assassination attempt, he could have been able to court, like, supposedly the moderate and the undecided voters.
If Trump had just at the RNC and after it said, you know, maybe I have been a little crazy.
Maybe I have like been a little too accusational with my politics.
Maybe we should try to unify America.
The press would have sucked his dick so hard.
It would have been better than the hawk to a robot and all of that good stuff.
And instead, basically after he got shot in the ear, he's like, you know what?
Democrats are behind this and they're bad and they're evil and they're trying to destroy our nation and only I can save America and Z Kyle and all the rest of it.
And people were like, oh, he's just who he is.
Honestly, I think in the darkest timeline, the next press conference he gave immediately after that happened, he's just like...
Now they're actively gunned for my life.
The time is now. Patriots activate.
Like, we're doing it this time for realsies.
I, the shadow president, say go.
Any Yahoo with a gun, activate.
Again, darkest timeline.
Thank God that didn't happen.
But, I mean, if he ever had any amount of, like, righteous indignation to fuel that move, you know?
Yeah, like when he got up on the stage, he was yelling like, fight, fight, fight.
He's like, I meant it!
I meant it! Start throwing!
Let's do this! And I'm like, oh no, Donnie, no!
No, I like my quiet life.
I don't want civil war. Please don't do that to me, you stupid bastard.
Well, certainly we're not talking about Donald Trump this week, but let's go ahead and move away from this not assassination attempt, assassination attempt, because it turns out it was just a guy who loves Donald Trump and guns, you know?
Is that a crime? I thought it was America!
Like, every Trump guy that goes to the rally is going to get picked up if they keep, like, looking for him like this, you know?
Yeah, we're looking for a disenfranchised, probably white male, anywhere between the ages of 20 and 40.
Probably armed.
Oh my god, there are tons of them here!
They're flying colors! They're all wearing identical hats!
I think this is gang activity!
It's like, Gary, shut up, you're new.
These are our guys.
That was my favorite part of the assassination attempt, which was the guy who was released on like $5,000 bail, which I don't think happens if you're trying to kill someone who might be president.
I think that's a little bit of a slap on the wrist.
My dorky little riff there just awoken me to a horrible realization.
How the fuck are juggalos classified as a gag?
And magas aren't. Magnus did it January 6th!
Where the fuck did Juggalos 2G at 6th?
This is true. Absolutely unreal.
If I was a Juggalo, I'd be heated.
I don't think any Juggalos listen to this because I'm not sure if they know how to operate a podcast.
Shout out to the Juggalos who are listening.
I'm going to go on...
I'm going to go on the Juggalo dating site and find me a down-ass let.
That's what I'm all about now.
Honestly, dude, when I was like 20 or 25 or whatever, and it was fun to clown on Juggalos just for being Juggalos, that's fine.
But at this point, I've dated other girls who have music taste I think is horrible.
They just didn't happen to be Juggalos, you know?
Exactly. Is the Insane Compossey any worse than Motionless and White?
Not to me, honestly.
Sorry if you like either of those bands.
They're both equally just not for me, you know?
There's a time and a place for that music.
But some people, for them, that's their everything.
And that's cool. I no longer define people by their taste, be it good or bad, because that way lies madness.
Because my taste is just better than everyone's.
Anyway... What?
You didn't think I was really being humble there, did you?
That's not my bag. Sneaky tricks.
That's my bag. If any listeners want to go to the Gathering of the Juggalos, hit me up.
Dude, it just seems too dirty for me.
That's the biggest problem. Is there any way to do any of that clean, though?
Because I don't think so.
I think the dirt is the vibe, but I'm just not into dirt anymore.
I don't like dirt. Yeah.
Anyway, speaking of dirt, Arizona, the dirtiest state in the union.
I don't know. That's probably accurate.
We have a special name for dust storms here.
They call them Haboobs.
Haboobs? Is that...
That sounds incredibly offensive.
Is that... Does that have an offensive...
Should you have not said that?
Does that have offensive roots? No, it's actually like, it just kind of means dust storm.
They're common on like Mars.
And then like a decade ago here, for some reason, like, we started adopting the term pretty heavily.
So now we call all dust storms haboobs.
So it's a common term here.
Don't ask. I mean, that seems like a thrown restaurant if I want to pull.
Although the Boston region had one of those too, Jimmy's.
I remember that it was like one of the big Boston papers had to do a whole thing on it.
Maybe we even talked about it on this or podcast.
I don't know. We've been doing this for a while.
Back to Arizona though. Where the hoo-boobs are.
Yeah, where the hoo-boobs at.
Yeah, it still feels bad in the mouth, not gonna lie.
There's a lot going on in Arizona.
It's just like, man, what a bummer of a state lately.
So I'm just going to hit something a little bit lighthearted and actually QAnon related.
Um, I mean, it's not like totally lighthearted, but do you guys remember back during, uh, the early days of the pandemic when there was a woman at a target destroying a mask display?
And when she was confronted by the workers, she was like, what, you think I can't fuck shit up just cause I'm a white woman with a $40,000 Rolex.
You guys remember that at all?
I remember that.
No, I do not remember that.
No.
No.
No. I mean, I remember people acting a fool in various ways, but not that specific one.
I remember the people that were, like, right when it was heating up, they were, like, going around coughing on stuff, and I was just like, oh shit, y'all are trying to get called up on terrorism charges right now.
That's crazy. Yeah, so this woman, and then, like, in that same day, the reason, another reason it was, like, viral was because there was more videos of her getting, like, arrested at her home, and then, like, she was kind of freaking out, and I think she might have said the N-word, or maybe that was in some posts that came out later.
But it went incredibly viral at the time.
Her name was Melissa Rain Lively.
And it also was viral because she was a QAnon believer.
And kind of immediately did the turnaround and was like...
Actually, I'm reformed and I realized the error of my ways and kind of got paraded out as like an expert on QAnon.
She was on CNN quite a few times.
She was on The Mind Explained on Netflix.
She's been on like panels, just about like, you know, she fell into QAnon and now she's rebuilding her life.
You know, like those kind of stories, just kind of like woman who crawled out of the disinformation rabbit hole.
She was everywhere for a while.
There's lots of like local, national articles about her.
You know, CNN. Former QAnon believer how she got drawn into conspiracies.
Wet Washington Post. She fell into QAnon and went viral for destroying a Target display.
Now she's rebuilding her life.
USA Today. Arizona woman who destroyed Target mass display in viral video says she regrets her behavior.
So anyway, there was like this huge like wave...
Of like, I'm sorry.
And also, I am now an expert on this subject.
Which I thought was funny because I did see some of her interviews at the time.
And it, I don't know, it did ring kind of hollow some of her statements.
And I did think it was a little funny that there was no kind of looking more into this given that she ran a PR firm.
And cut to today, more recently, I was put back on the radar of Melissa Ray and Lively because Shelby Bush of We the People AZ Alliance,
that woman who is like an Arizona Republican here who said she wanted to lynch Stephen Richer, our recorder, We talk about her regularly on here, but she's finally made national attention because she was covered on 60 Minutes like two weeks ago.
Um, and I got a little email in my inbox.
Shelby Bush is now soliciting, um, uh, in-depth insights on election integrity.
So her bullshit lies that she's been pushing with Mike Lindell and Patrick Byrne for the past four years.
Um, she's, uh, like, like giving ex, selling exclusive interviews, Shelby Bush, and her PR representative is Marissa Lane Live.
Rain Lively, who now runs America First PR. And this shit is so funny because, like, obviously it seems that her, like, apologies was kind of, like, bullshit, which I was already pretty sure was...
No, no, she just got tricked again.
Yeah. She got hoodwinked again.
She'll be able to apologize her way out of this if she needs to.
She's now like in the turning point sphere and seems to have been for a while and is now kind of doing the like, make America healthy again, like Kennedy train, like alternative health.
She's still fully on the pandemic was fake bullshit type conspiracy.
So all those like nice pieces on all the mainstream media.
No. That was not accurate.
And on her PR page, she actually uses that viral video and the positive coverage that she managed to spin as that's one thing that you can buy.
Basically, you can hire her for if you're getting canceled.
She will help you turn the cancel culture crisis into a way to Boost your media career, which she said she has expertise in.
And it just fully gives interviews now in right-wing world about how she...
Use that video of her freaking out in the Target to spin positive coverage towards herself and get a boost in her job, her career.
So, was bullshit.
Hope I don't see her again being touted as some expert.
On QAnon or conspiracies because she's currently selling interviews to like the top conspiracy theorists for the past four years in the state and does not seem actually reformed.
She is still selling the same bullshit that she was when she initially went viral.
Also, just real quick about Maha, Make America Healthy Again, because the turning point, one of the turning point girlies here who's like the top Spokeswoman for Turning Point USA, as far as the women's field, she does the Alternative Health podcast, is currently on an anti-Kellogg's kind of thing.
They just held a big protest outside of Kellogg's headquarters because they are protesting the die in cereal.
And it's all part of the, like, Make America Healthy train, you know, with, like, Kennedy.
And the Turning Point lady was holding up a sign, Kellogg's, Kellogg's, you can't hide, you're committing genocide.
And the genocide's all bedazzled.
And I'm just like, there's so many layers to this.
I'm their portrait of Dorian Gray.
For every protest against Kellogg's they do, I'm eating a greasy steak and cheese sub and just being fucking unhealthy as fuck.
I was going to say, if they're protesting Kellogg's, are they all publicly masturbating?
Because that's what that guy was really all about, was trying to crack down on people cranking it.
Yeah, I love that the original cornflake was invented partially to try to curb masturbation.
It's just like, look man, if anything, box cereal only makes me want to jerk off more.
But anyway, are we done with Arizona?
Is that all the Arizona that's fit to print?
I'm sorry for taking up time.
No, that's cool. I lost track of it because I'm not going to lie, I was scrolling Twitter like a responsible adult who's doing a podcast recording.
Well, you weren't aware of the original story, so...
I knew about her redemption arc and I was like sickened by it because I just was like, she's full of shit.
There's no way she's redeemed.
She had no heart in, like, her redemption.
That is, like, the liberal paradox is that, you know, we have to believe that redemption is possible and that people can improve.
But I almost never buy it when it comes to these people.
I'm just like, you're full of shit!
You're not redeemed at all!
I demand you.
Give me your Rolex.
Give me your Rolex.
That was proof that you were redeemed.
Anyway, now let's start for us to get into our news segment.
Cues in the news! From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Cues in the News.
For our first headline, we're not going to say a damn thing.
We're going to fucking listen to like 12 or more licensed songs.
And you won't be able to see it, but I'm just going to be doing a funny little dance, not moving, just kind of swaying in place like a tree.
Like a leaf on the wind, but, you know, also rooted to place.
Like a leaf in the wind, but it's still affixed to the tree that is rooted to place in the wind.
Of course we're talking about our former president, maybe potential future president, Donald Trump, who at his most recent town hall decided, fuck questions, questions are for losers, it's time to listen to music, and did that, and nobody told him to stop.
Mike, why didn't anybody tell him to stop?
Yeah. Apparently everyone's powerless and we are all trapped by the whims of the God Emperor.
Yeah, so this was fucked is the only way to describe it.
So... What happened was Trump was holding a rally somewhere in Pennsylvania.
It was like a town hall meeting.
It wasn't an actual package stadium with like 5,000 people and have half of them leave midway through the speech.
No, it was a smaller, more intimate setting where people could ask questions of him.
Yes. And so Trump had been asked a few questions, but then one person in this small building that had no air conditioning because Trump was too cheap to pay for a building that was properly ventilated Somebody fainted, and then they got medical help for them, and that person was whisked away.
And then they continued the Q&A, and then another person fainted.
I forget if it was the first or the second person, but as that person was being wheeled away, Trump told them to lose some weight, Tubby, because that's what our former and soon-to-be future It's all about empathy, compassion for the fellow American.
Just, yo, hit the treadmill there.
Maybe you wouldn't pass out so much.
It's up with guts, he says, from the stage with his Adonis body, his Chinese 10-pack abs, and all the rest of the masculine markers that define Donald Trump.
If anybody listening to this can get a message to Donald Trump, just inform him that I'm much heavier than that guy and likely much more heavy than Donald Trump, and I'm still going to outlive him.
I'm going to outlive you, old man.
You're fucking old.
You're old and lightly fat.
I'm very fat, but I'm younger than you.
And I can lose weight, motherfucker.
You can't gain no time, old man.
You're going to be cold to the fucking ground before I am.
You tell them, Mel.
So after the second person was treated and they were removed from the town hall, Trump basically decided, you know what?
Questions are for losers.
Let's play some kickin' tunes.
And they played a song, and Trump kind of bopped around a little, and Kristi Neom, the puppy-killing governor of one of the Dakotas, she doesn't get credit for which Dakota it is because things will suck.
Okay, so she came up. Can we talk about her for a second?
I know you're about to describe how Donald Trump was swaying.
We'll put a pin in that.
She's obviously, like, his fucking keeper now, right?
I mean, like, the footage made that seem like she was Grandpa's handler.
Yes, absolutely.
Like, that's the thing that's kind of happening with these events now, is there's somebody on stage as the Trump wrangler to keep him from veering off the rails too hard.
And... Because you could just have the moderator in the crowd giving the mic to people to talk, but she was on stage, somebody else was doing the whole mic work with the crowd, or there was a microphone for the crowd to go to, and she was the one moving things along and keeping things on track.
And then things got...
Yes. Yes, she was.
Yes. Mysterious Anne, Christine Neom.
Yes. I do famously hate animals and like killing them.
Yes. That's not true.
Please don't come for me, the internet.
That's not true. Yeah.
So, like, the first song is playing, and Trump's bopping around to it, and then Christy Neom starts, like, mimicking his quote-unquote dance moves, and you can just tell how she is totally freaked out by what's going on, and she's just sort of like... Do I just mimic the God Emperor and pretend that he's really cutting a rug here?
Like, what do I do? And she, like, bops along the way he's bopping along for a little while, and you can just tell that This whole thing is not what anyone had planned.
And then they just kept playing songs, and Trump just kept gently swaying to the songs.
And at no point does anyone say, um, okay, show's over, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
Nope. Just 39 minutes of Trump swaying on stage before finally, I guess, something happened.
Really, the sickest, most bizarre part of this whole thing is the fact that our media, which is supposedly a bunch of Satan-worshipping monsters who hate Donald Trump and will do anything to see him defeated, our mainstream media is doing everything they can to whitewash this event.
They're so desperate to try to spin this as not being a really weird fucking situation that calls into question Trump's brain, like ABC News had a guy that was like, no, I know some people on the internet are having fun with this, but the people in that hall had a great time.
We were all digging it.
Trump just vibing to the music and everyone bopping around.
And I've seen headlines from the New York Times saying, like, Trump rally ends in concert, which a concert is when a band is playing instruments and a singer is singing.
What Trump did was like a listening party to random songs that no one asked for.
Like, there's just this desperate effort to explain what happened as being not weird.
Also, can we finally use this as an opportunity to finally call a moratorium about people referring to real life as like, idiocracy?
If real life was like idiocracy, fucking Chrissy Noem would have been up there popping it all crazy Atlanta style.
Strippers would have showed up.
Like, t-shirt cannons would have been flying around.
It would have been, like, charismatic and interesting.
Because, like, stupid people can be, like, are supposed to be elevated if they've got the riz, you know?
Like, in real life...
Our fucking guy, he's so, he's, he's rizzless.
He's lost all of his rizz.
Like, looking back at stuff from when he was campaigning for, before his first presidency, it's just like, he's like a different guy.
Like, I can kind of see why people were interested in this fucking dickhead.
I mean, like, you know, there was something to him.
He had like a TV personality or whatever.
I'm not saying that I liked him, but like, at least it was just like, oh, like, I can see why you would pick this as your guy.
Now he's just like a doddering old has-been.
Right. In 2016, there were people who would tell you, oh, Trump's going to win this election because he has more charisma than Hillary.
He's off-putting and offensive to some people, but to some other people, he's braggadocious.
He's gregarious.
He has this swagger about him that makes him magnetic in some way.
And now you just have this doddering old man who...
Is so lost in the sauce that he just thinks hanging out on a stage for 40 minutes is an acceptable way to run a rally.
And you have his bootlickers and our press desperately trying to cover for him and to spin this as not being a disaster.
I think... Go ahead, Al.
I was just about to say, if you're Peter, too, you got to be pretty tight in the jeans right now.
Like, because, like, it just seems like at this point, for whatever reason, they're just like, look, Trump is our ticket.
We just got to prop him up, like, weekend Bernie style, like, get him over the goal line, and then we'll try to figure out how to deal with this J.D. Vance disaster when it becomes pretty clear that we're going to have to, like, a vote's going to be called to kick this guy into office for having a brain that's pudding.
Which is crazy, because there's going to be Jamie Vance at the White House.
What the fuck? Yeah, I think that, you know, as much as he's a dawdling idiot who goes on podcasts of just the worst form, he is definitely, like, repeating these white supremacist teal talking points.
I saw him in that interview on, like, NBC or something where he was...
Asked about deporting just every undocumented immigrant in the country and what it would do for jobs, how it would destroy some sectors like agriculture and labor.
He was like, oh, well, infamously, America never had a housing bill and fruit picked before we brought in all these immigrants.
And he's like, it would be great for white-collar jobs.
He's spitting those, like, we need to get immigrants out of here because white people need jobs type shit.
Uh, he's, he's gonna be, if he was, if Trump was to win, and Vance was to eventually be kind of the more talking head, oh, it would be so incredibly Nazi.
It would be, yeah.
I mean, he helps stir up a lot of that Haitian migrant rhetoric.
He's, he's a piece of fucking shit.
Not, I'm sorry.
Everybody's been new. We knew here.
No, I mean, but that's the thing is that if Trump were to win this election, we're getting President Vance ASAP. I mean, Trump's got one year maybe left in the tank where he is presentable to the public at all, barely, because he's completely falling apart.
And our media is just so scared of the man that they can't, they can't accept what's happened.
Because I've seen this spin, I've seen all this weird shit, where people are trying to explain like why the rally went the way it did. And there have been plenty of people who've passed out at Kamala Harris rallies, and they get those people treatment, and then she goes back to speaking.
When medical events happen in like a big event.
I mean, this has been happening at Trump rallies, like, all fucking, all summer.
This is like that, like, you know, of all the things for him to be cold-heartedly crackin' wise about up on the stage, when he asked if anybody else wanted to pass out, it's just like...
I get the joke.
People are known for passing out at these things for some reason.
That seems pretty dangerous, but good joke.
In Arizona, they pass out by the dozens.
The last one, when he was in Phoenix proper, there was over 100 people that passed out.
I think Occam's razor is the best way to explain how and why it went down there.
He got tired of answering questions.
He didn't want to answer any more questions.
He was bored and or tired.
So he was just saying, Bill!
Who wants to hear any more dumb answers to questions?
Let's just listen to some music!
And then just started dancing.
And it worked! People stopped answering questions, so why would he stop dancing?
Exactly! And that's the thing, is that This is a bad look.
And we're having so many people trying to defend it.
And it's like, no, there's no defending this.
This is weird. This is a fucked up thing that this guy did.
And we're three weeks away from this election.
And one of our two candidates is literally melting down before our very eyes and their brain is putting.
My favorite thing that I've been getting is people saying, this is bullshit and you can't do it because Biden's brain is putting too.
And my response to that is, you know who's not on the fucking ballot?
Joe Biden. So you can't argue Biden versus Trump on this issue because Biden's not there.
No, but Kamala was covering for him.
Well, guess what? He's gone now.
We got rid of him. So are you going to be happy when J.D. Vance is covering for your guy for the next four years?
And spoiler alert, he won't be able to cover for him for four years because Trump's brain is tofu.
I mean... You know what, Mike?
No more ranting. Let's just listen to some music.
Exactly. No, no, no.
We have one more talking point to get to before the mailbag.
That is Ian Carroll and the Tim Walzgrift.
I don't know what this is, Mike. And you know I don't know what this is.
You know there's no way I know what this is, Mike.
Come on, Mike. Yeah, okay.
I'm sorry. No, I'm just saying that this is your job.
You've got to educate me and the listener who might also not know what this is.
Okay, so what has happened over the past weekend, a few days, is a group of people have decided to try to create the new Pizzagate for the final kick for this election.
The way Pizzagate was the final kick for 2016 and the Hunter Biden laptop was the final kick for 2020.
Our new dumb fake story to try to tank the Democrats in 2024 is these allegations against Tim Walz that he was a sexual predator when he was a teacher in Minnesota back in the day.
And one of these grifters was a guy who, his name is Zach, and he runs Red Pill News, and his Twitter handle is based off of that nonsense.
And Zach had a quote-unquote transfer student from Kazakhstan who claimed that Tim Walz had been inappropriate with them.
I don't believe they gave their name.
They gave no evidence of their claims.
It was just a person with a funny accent talking to a QAnon grifter.
And so that came and went.
And then this guy who has a Twitter feed, really black insurrectionist, I follow back.
This clown, it was the guy who claimed to have evidence of a whistleblower from ABC. That was going to expose that Kamala had gotten the debate questions ahead of time.
And he was going to blow the lid off this rigged debate that happened.
And then the whistleblower died on their way back to their home planet.
It was very unfortunate.
It was a very tough break.
I mean, we were so close to exposing the lamestream Illuminati media.
And unfortunately, just shit happened.
You know, as it does.
A 50-part thread...
That just kept building and building.
And even right-wingers are like, he's got nothing.
Yeah, basically. Exactly.
That's how it went. That's the thing.
Before this guy even pulled this shit, he had no credibility.
And now he has even more no credibility.
It's great. When I become emperor, I'm going to enact a law where if you in any public space call somebody a sexual predator...
At that point, one or both of those two parties can immediately call for an investigation into both of them immediately.
So it's just like, oh, I think Tim Walz is a pedophile.
It's just like, okay, I call your bluff.
I know I'm not a pedophile, but I do suspect you are.
Investigate both of us immediately.
Signed, Tim Walz. I bet a lot of that rhetoric would immediately cease.
I bet that rhetoric would go extinct overnight on Twitter.
All of a sudden, everybody would just be like, I think this guy, like, I don't know, he's like a slasher or something.
I don't know, he's got like a serial killer vibe.
It's just like, oh, he had a different vibe the other day.
Don't you want to say what his vibe is?
It's like, I've never said anything about, I've never made any allegations regarding his vibe prior to now.
I just think he might have killed people.
Yeah. Yeah.
So Black Insurrectionist posted a bunch of alleged emails sent to him by a victim of Tim Walz.
And these emails were laughably fake.
You could see the cursor on one of them, where he obviously had written this whole thing to himself.
Was this the thing that Dapper Gander was talking about?
I could be. Very well.
Something about this is triggering.
Maybe I do know something about this.
I seem to remember there was like a countdown to nothing happening that Taberganter was mentioning.
Either way, they're just a good sort, so shout out to them.
Yeah, so that happened.
Yeah, I see dappers on this as well.
The main person that's been working on this is someone who goes by AgentSelfFBI.
Their Twitter handle is AgentSelf99B.
So the first thing that happened was there was obviously a cursor on the screen.
Then other people were pointing out that the margins weren't lining up on the side.
So it's obviously not an email because emails format correctly where you don't have a letter slightly askew from another letter on the side of it.
And also, some of the emails have a comma between the month and the day, and others don't.
And email formats are consistent.
They don't forget those little things.
And finally, When he would post it where it was using time for the timestamp, sometimes it would have a zero in front of a single digit number, and then other times it would have no zero in front of it.
So instead of it being like 0627, it would be 627.
So there were just a lot of details about...
You have to really have a crazy level of hubris to try to fake something these days if you don't really have the goods.
If you're posting it to the internet, it has to be pixel perfect.
And even then, somewhere between 20 and 40% of the quote-unquote experts looking at it are just going to claim it's fake anyway.
So you have to be really good at fakery these days.
You can't be this sloppy. Right, exactly.
So basically the emails come out, they get annihilated by people looking at them to debunk them.
The self-agent FBI guy did a really good thread on that.
And then even the right-winger started turning on this shit.
Jack Posebek posted a thing where he basically blamed the deep state for this story.
And was pretty much accusing Black insurrectionists of being a plant in a shill that was trying to make Republicans look bad by tricking them.
Well, I mean, it's right, figure the name, you know?
Yes. It's so funny, too, because Wendy Rogers, state senator of Arizona, shared the Black insurrectionist stuff, and it's like...
It's just like, that's how bottom of the barrel this lady is.
Yeah, even the shit nobody else believes.
She's like, give me more.
I want more. The bigger the lie, the more I want that pie.
Just, let's do this.
Boom. Give it to me.
I love it. I loves it.
So... What happened was, like, this basically had flamed out.
Everyone was dunking on Black Insurrectionists.
This thing is a farce. Everyone knows it's a joke.
The new hotness in right-wing grifting, a guy named Ian Carroll, who Hayley had some information about that was pretty awesome, and I'll let her do that at the end of this whole thing.
This Ian Carroll guy who basically, he's like a tech bro who is all about follow the money and see the truth and all that horse shit.
He decided that, you know what?
This looks like the new Pizzagate, so I want in on it.
And he posted a video where he was talking about how I'm digging into it.
I'm going to look in, I'm going to try to find some information and I'll get back to you guys in a little while.
And he then posted a thing where he's like, man, this, this is really frustrating because all the people supporting this are Trump lovers and everyone debunking it as a Harris lover.
I'm so sick of this election stuff.
When his pinned tweet is all about making America healthy again and he's wearing a MAGA hat in the video and talking about how the deep state might be 10 steps ahead and we're doomed, but he doesn't think so.
And he thinks Trump's going to win this election and take down the deep state.
So it's pretty sure you love the election cycle.
Mike, enough taking down the deep state.
This is a music.
Yeah. God damn it, if only I had thought to do that.
That would have been so great if I just had literal background music to play.
But anyways, he then released his second video and this was after all the debunks had happened and it was very obvious this thing had crashed and burned.
And he starts off the video being like, look man, I've looked into it, I've talked to Black Insurrectionists, DM'd him, we've chatted, I've looked at the emails and Yeah, there's a lot of questions with those emails.
I can see why people aren't very happy with him.
And in order to make it look like he's trying to be kind of credible, he even screenshots some of Agent Self's stuff to make it look like he's actually working on this thing from both sides.
And then he pivots into the fact that he's like, look, I'm just a simple country citizen journalist, and I don't know the facts about everything.
But what I can tell you is that Black Insurrection has put me in contact with the whistleblower And we had a 40-minute phone conversation, and I totally believe them.
They sounded super credible to me.
And the whole time he's talking, he's, like, just defending himself as being a small bean.
And he's like, look, man, I just got this platform.
I'm just figuring things out.
And if this all turns out to be a hoax, that's okay, because I'm learning.
It's like, oh, so basis accusing potentially the next vice president of the United States of being a serial pedophile.
That's learning. If you accidentally did that, if oops, oh, a little boo-boo on my part accusing Tim Walls of being a serial pedophile.
Who amongst us hasn't done such a thing and made a small little mistake like that?
I'm just learning.
I'm just trying to figure out how to journalism as a citizen.
That's all I'm doing.
Yeah, Hayley? Oh, nothing.
Do you want me to just...
No, you just...
You'd unmuted yourself and you leaned up to the mic, so I thought that was you.
I've been unmuted.
I was just pulling up a tab.
But you also said that we were putting a pin in it, so now's the time for the pin to come down.
I guess I'll pin the pin. The pin has been pulled!
Oh my god, this fucking grenade of information is live, Hayley.
It's a live info bomb.
Oh my god. I'm just, when Mike told, I was, because Mike put his name hates Ian Carroll, I'm like, Ian Carroll like the Nazi?
And this was news to Mike, and you said that, like, some people have responded to you, or you've seen people saying that he's normally reasonable?
Yeah. Or something? Is that what you said?
Yeah, I actually had someone in my followers who I actually, they reply on my stuff a lot.
They're like, man, this is kind of weird for Ian because he's way more on the ball than this usually.
Yeah, that's kind of shocking to me because this guy's a pretty open, in my opinion, white supremacist.
Definitely anti-Semitic.
Maybe some people get caught up in the way that they get caught up with that martyr maid guy.
He just long posts too hard and people kind of skim it.
And they're like, yeah, he's kind of got some good things to say and don't realize that he's dropping...
Hard Jewish question related stuff in there because that's how I know of this guy.
He was definitely a bring Nick Fuentes back to X person Twitter and basically said that Nick Fuentes has just been defamed by the media and Jewish people.
Um, and, uh, he fully tweets out shit, like, um, that the U.S. is controlled by an international criminalization, criminal organization that grew out of the Jewish mob.
Uh, so, like, this guy's pretty, like, open about it.
I don't know how people have missed that.
Um, um, Yeah, so this guy, not a good person if you fell for some of the long pseudo-intellectual posts that he puts up.
He's kind of actually a piece of shit.
Is it because he's kind of hot?
Is that the problem? Are people getting caught up?
Because he's handsome? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm pretty hot. Nobody cares about me.
The mysterious and incredibly fuckable L. That's what I've always said about you.
Well, no, because I'm also on record of being very fat.
And as somebody who is very fat and fairly handsome for a fat guy, I could say that one does not outweigh the other.
The one that is heavier does account for a lot more.
Yeah. But enough of that horse shit.
Are we done with this? Are we done with this Tim Wall's grift?
Yeah, we're done. Well, I have a little more to finish, and I'll be done with it quickly.
Okay, well, you're eating into mailbag time, so listener, blame migraines if we don't get to your question.
No, we only got three questions.
It's a quick mailbag this week. Wow, way to denigrate us already.
Disgusting. No, but what I was just going to say to finish this up is that it's very obvious that Ian is trying to keep this story alive because he's literally taken it away from black insurrectionists and made it about himself.
Like, he is now the main character of this story.
He talked to the alleged victim for 40 minutes.
He believes in them.
And at the end of his video, he states pretty much, look, there's no evidence to support any of this, but I believe this guy.
And by the way, just look at Tim Walz.
He's Obviously a pedophile.
He's obviously gay.
Just look at him. Which is one of the oldest Alex Jones bits.
Whenever Alex Jones doesn't like anybody, he just says, look, I'm not saying this guy's a pedophile, but if you were a Hollywood director and you were casting someone to be a pedophile, you'd cast this guy.
Good job, Lord. I invoke the law.
We will do the investigation now.
Yes, exactly.
Summon the Inquisitors!
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, I bet Alex Jones and a lot of those other cats would just be like, you know what?
Yeah, man.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
You get real quiet real fast.
Oh, man. Oopsies.
Oh, I didn't mean it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never accused anyone of being a pedophile.
Also, kids, don't let one of these weird disinfo-nothing-burger stories suck you in and accidentally make you the main character.
Don't become the villain of your own story.
Right, exactly. So yeah, so fucking Carol, this is a scam, and this dude's just hoping this is his new Pizzagate, so he can become the next Liz Crokin, and- Well, they're gonna need to find a location with a zippy name for these allegations.
Because calling it what we've been calling it, which is essentially just like a whole sentence describing the situation, ain't gonna do it.
We're off the tongue, it needs to be snappy, like Pizzagate.
Well, their big story is that apparently Tim Walls took this person to an Indigo Girls concert.
So we've got Indigo Girls games.
No, boo. Indigo children are already a thing.
No, boo. Very bad.
Wrong target. Choose a different band.
Find another concert he went to.
That's the one they went with.
Indigo children are already a thing in your sphere of weird conspiracy bullshit.
Come on, guys. I know that you're new to this, but I've been near these trenches for a while now.
And I've gotten some splash over.
And I know that you are the ones who believe in indigo children, not me.
That's like MKUltra's psychedelic psychic bullshit.
Yes. Okay, now we can go to the mailbag.
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Try for free on tripletex.no Welcome to Company Lauritsen, drop 3.
I'm always afraid of this.
We're going to have a break, and 22 kids are going to do a lot of exercises and tests.
Go away!
Damn!
They haven't been seen, they haven't been understood.
If I can do this, I can do this.
Now we're going to help them so they can find the strength in themselves, so they can move on in life.
Yes, that's the way it is.
We're going to do our best.
It's ready for Company Lauritsen, drop 3.
Watch now on TV2 Play.
Our listeners got questions.
We got answers.
It's time for Q and A. I got myself all wound up talking about the indigo children.
That's the sort of stuff I used to really rustle my jimmies.
Well, you're going to enjoy one of these questions then.
We'll go right to that one right now.
Spooky season is here, says MeBad.
Spookiest cryptid or mythological creature?
Spookiest, huh? I mean...
That's tough, right? Because where do you draw the line in a cryptid versus just, like, a creature of folklore?
Yeah, it was a spookiest cryptid or mythological creature.
Okay. Like, is a Dullahan a cryptid?
Because at some point, the person who made up a Dullahan certainly saw something that they somehow alleged to be what they saw.
Like, you know, it seems like that would be a pretty wild swing for somebody to just imagine out of nowhere in the middle of, like, dirt poor Ireland back in the day.
Yeah. Are we talking about modern cryptids?
Because if we're talking about modern ones, then I guess it would probably be the ones that, like, I guess in theory could be near to where civilization is, so maybe it's just Bigfoot, which is a boring answer, but, like, in theory, if you live in the Pacific Northwest, like, near enough to a tree line, and Bigfoot is real, then, you know, Bigfoot could be there.
Signs-style, like, stalking you in the darkness.
M. Night Shyamalan could be filming nothing and somehow making it seem tense, because this is back...
Remember, this is signs and not the happening...
to happen. It does not do that. Yeah, spooky is a tough one for a cryptid, you know, because, like, I feel like traditionally all cryptids are a baseline of spooky because they're mysterious, but which one is spookier on top of that?
Like, it just sort of depends on what you fear the most.
Like, if you have thalassophobia or whatever, you're probably not a big fan of Nessie or any other cryptid that might be able to drag you into the deep...
I feel so inadequate after Elle gives a cryptid speech because I'm just sitting there like, ah, maybe the Wendigo?
I don't know. Chupacabra?
Wendigo is actually a sick answer because it's kind of like a cross between Bigfoot And, like, a traditional spirit of folklore, you know?
So Wendigo is actually a very good answer, because Wendigos are birds for, they're, like, the spirit of cannibalism or whatever, you know?
Looking up kids. But yeah, like, if you're somebody who is trapped in the wilderness and you have to cannibalize to get by, you become a Wendigo.
And then there's various depictions of them make them seem sort of, like, Bigfoot-y.
Especially the Marvel Comics one, where I believe Wendigo is the name given to just a big furry white dude.
I said it, Chupacabra.
I agreed with your original statement.
Goat sucker. You know, it's creepy.
And also, like, common, you know, Latin...
Are you a fan of more, like, the canine variety of chupacabra?
The more, like, reptilian, sort of, bipedal, big-headed, like, goblinoid?
That one. Kind of, like, more of the goblinoid alien.
It's fairly cooler. Yeah.
But the ones that keep getting caught on camera weirdly mysteriously resemble coyotes stuff in a lot of ways, you know?
Those hairless Mexican dogs?
Oh yeah, the ones that have an X in their name and I can't pronounce it properly because I don't have that tongue, you know?
It's like an Axe Wada or something like that.
It is a very specific breed, yeah.
But yeah, I'll go with that because they're cool and, you know, I heard it a lot as a kid because I live in Arizona.
Nice. See, everybody served up a great answer.
Cryptids rule. I wish any of them, imagine if literally any of them ever, like if we ever found like a fucking, if a Bigfoot carcass just showed up one day and somebody was like, Jesus Christ, it's been a really Bigfoot.
Like that would blow the door off of fucking all of them, right?
All we need is one. One of them, like the rising tide lifts all ships, you know?
Yeah. Come on, someone.
Find Bigfoot's corpse. Let's do this.
Yeah, I don't care how rare they are.
Go kill a fucking Bigfoot.
I want life to be more magical at the expense of life.
Get him! Get him!
Kill the last unicorn.
I want to see its blood.
I literally had a tweet about how the next Trump rally is where he's going to demand a unicorn to be brought on stage so he can eat its heart to obtain its forbidden power.
We're going to get there. And the media's going to be like, Trump...
No way that guy could eat a raw heart.
No way. No shot.
Absolutely not. There's no way he would do it.
He wouldn't even think about doing it.
They'd bring the thing on stage and he'd just be like, what?
I'm doing what? He's like, no, I'm not doing any of that.
I thought you guys were going to bring it out to me on a plate prepared like a dish or something.
Like prepared as a McDonald's cheeseburger.
He's like, I don't give a fuck how much magic power it loses if you boil it up.
Like, I want that shit fucking pan seared, dude.
Oh, God, they're talking about him working the fry station at a McDonald's.
That would be a national health crisis.
He might, like, we could have dozens injured, including himself.
There's no way that man could handle a fry station.
Oh, my God. Yeah, I just can't wait for him to dump, like, a whole bag of, like, unthawed fries, just, like, replete with moisture right into the fryer.
Right, exactly! It's just the prison scene from Watchmen.
God. I think that what will actually happen is this will become one of those things that has done psychic damage to Trump.
And he's going to talk about it in his speeches and explain how it was totally cool.
Because when he gently shambled down that slope...
That's all he talked about for the next two months was he'd just be in the middle of a speech and he'd lose his train of thought.
He'd just be like, you know, that slope was really dangerous.
And I went down it carefully because you can't fall down.
Joe Biden falls off his bike all the time.
I don't fall.
And I handled that slope very well because it was very perilous.
And that's just...
Yeah, I mean, this one, like, writes itself, too.
Because, like, he's going to tee it up for some interviewer, like, softball of the question or whatever, just be like, dancing at the town hall.
It's just going to be like, look, I love dancing.
If you look back at all of my rallies...
I'm known to dance. The people who love me, they love to dance.
We both love to dance.
And he's going to be like, look, I'm always dancing.
Of course at some point I was going to have a fucking 45-minute dance break in a town hall where I refuse to take any further questions.
It was in my blood to dance.
Look at my sick moves.
I'm always looking like I'm jerking off two or more angels.
Right, exactly. It's just going to be something he's going to normalize constantly the way he normalized the slope.
And Sleepy Joe Biden could never dance.
He was bad at dancing.
Where's that old man?
I want to make fun of him so bad.
Kamala Harris is a much better dancer than me and I can't challenge her on it.
It sucks. Where's Sleepy Joe?
Am I competing in a dance battle?
No contest. Exactly.
Don't press me on it.
I will say no. Yeah.
Yeah, he's not going to do more weird things, but he's going to obsess over the fact that he did a weird thing, and he's going to try to normalize it just by talking about it.
He's just going to be like, no, that was a good thing that I did, because everything I do is good.
I'm the best. I never make mistakes.
So it's just going to be that kind of train wreck, where we're just going to have to listen to him talk about...
How this was okay and you all need to accept how okay it was because I am great and I do okay things.
It's like everything in his life is just pushed back against perceived insults.
He'll never get over the fact that Kamala said to him, yeah, people leave your rallies early because you're boring.
And he's like literally every rally after that.
He's been like, no one leaves my rallies.
You are all entranced by my oratory.
I am truly the greatest speaker of all.
Nobody leaves my rallies.
That's not a brag. It's an order.
The people with guns at the exits will enforce it.
Also, this rally is packed.
It's a packed house, and all the cameras will remain directly on me.
This will also be strictly enforced, but I assure you, it is packed.
Yes. He wants to be Kim Jong so bad.
Yes. Oh, God.
He just yearns to be that just full authority dictator.
Everybody will dance! And nobody will ask me any more questions!
Everybody in my sold-out arena will now dance, and those who dance poorly will be removed and probably disposed of.
Everyone must jerk. Everyone is not dancing!
Everyone must jerk off two or more angels around them.
That is what you must do now if you wish to survive and serve the God Emperor.
Just fucking, like, 80-year-old men and women just crying, shuffling in place.
Yes. This is the America he wants.
Yes. This is when America was great.
It's just the way it was back when he thinks about America in the 50s.
Was Dwight Eisenhower ordering his crowds?
Women, mandatory dancing!
Everyone dancing all the time, always!
Dance more, I'm watching!
Wow. I come back to the show and it's unhinged.
Absolutely off the rails, punkers.
And it turns out there was only two questions.
My third question is a goddamn ad from Twitter, so fuck you, Elon.
What was the ad for?
The ad was...
It's Angela Alsobrooks running for senator in Maryland.
Oh, yeah. A little gladioc.
Pass. Yes.
There's a TikTok ad that gets me every once in a while because it's just like, it's for thigh-high socks for women with big thighs.
So the, like, I'll just be scrolling my feed and I'll just be like, damn, that's a nice big thigh.
It's an ad. But then because I stopped scrolling for a moment, TikTok's just like, oh, this fucking perv.
We know what he likes. And it's like, no, I normally use you for dance videos and heartwarming videos of people reuniting with their puppies and stuff.
It's an empathy check. Sometimes I need it.
But now you're just going to get all the thick women putting on thigh-high socks.
Look, I mean, I'm never one to complain about thick women, but I just try to keep my social media, like, tame, you know?
Because I don't want the algorithm to fucking think I'm a pre-vert, because then it'll just be non-stop.
It needs to know that every once in a while I feel a little pre-verted, you know?
I can be a little freaky-deaky, but I don't need a thousand bottles.
One Q&A promoter was like, look at what this shit that's on.
It was either Instagram or TikTok.
And he was scrolling through it, and it was just all teenage girls, half-naked, dancing.
And it's like, buddy, that's your algorithm.
You've done this to yourself.
It's for research!
Research. Yeah.
So that brings us to our final question, as always.
What are you guys looking forward to?
Research. No, um...
It's unfortunate that that was one of the better jokes to make there because, man, again, it didn't feel great in the mouth.
What am I looking forward to?
How do I have nothing for this this week?
Well, I guess it's like I just like a spooky season, you know?
I'm a big fan of fall. And, you know, I like Halloween and tea gives.
So, yeah, the change in season has just got me with some pep in my step.
Even if it has, it's reunited me with my love of sleeping, because a lot of my social circle have been busy with, like, other obligations and stuff, because it's a pretty exciting time where I live.
Anyway, yeah, so I'm excited for the continuation of Fall and Spooktober, because I'm about that life.
Put a 12-foot tall skeleton inside of me daddy, or whatever the kids do or say these days.
Yeah. What are you looking forward to, Haley?
For election season to be over, but that probably isn't even for way longer than we expect, so yay.
I'm looking forward to the constant suffering of human existence, says Haley.
Great answer. Get it over with, please.
They'll be like, and winning the popular vote by a fucking 18 million vote landslide, Kamala Harris, but the electoral college was close enough that people are going to call fraud.
Boo. It's going to be great.
There'll be some shenanigans.
There'll be shenanigans is all on the show.
So you're saying you're looking forward to some shenanigans?
No, I'm looking forward to us to be through that season.
I'm ready.
It's going to be like next year or whatever.
April or April of next year sometime.
I'm looking forward to January 20th, 2025 where either Kamala Harris or Donald Trump is sworn in as president and it's kind of sort of finally over at that point.
Just Haley's long-term prognostication.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to September 10th, 2058, where my darling body on live support, Elon Musk, comes in.
He's zipping around in cool robot tech because he's immortal, and he's like, hey, buddy, it's time for Experimble to upload time.
And they're like, do it, Elon, Daddy, I always love you!
And then it fails! And I just disappear into the void like everybody else.
It's fine. I remember I was going to say that when we were talking about that previously, but I forgot, was that Elon totally fucks you because you go into the download and you feel it.
You feel yourself merging with infinity and collective consciousness.
And you're just like, oh my god, this is exactly what the god mind I've always imagined felt like.
It's actually happening.
And then you just like feel it failing and you're just like being ripped away into oblivion.
And you're just like, no, no!
And then you just don't exist anymore.
You just have perfection stripped away from you in the last seconds.
And it's like, you fucking pricky lot, you gave me false hope, the worst hope of all.
I think it's adorable that you believe my idea of perfection has anything to do with the collective consciousness of the world mind.
I don't give a fuck about that.
Yeah. Either way, my upload, my perfect upload would be one, like a perfect lubrication of reality, but I have powers, or two.
I get uploaded into a robot body that exists in this reality, and you know what that robot body has?
Powers. Fuck the world mind, I just want to have power and feel powerful.
I just get re-uploaded into the world and I just have Charisma 20.
I just have infinite riz.
I just get to charm everybody and become the president god-emperor of the universe.
That's the dream. Well, you can charm me out of using my telekinesis to rip the skeleton out of your body or whatever the first time you displease me.
That's fine. I would save orphans and stuff.
I will let you rule Liberia with an iron fist.
I will stay far away from it.
It is yours. That'd be great, yeah.
I mean, just like a small place to dominate and call my own with my tremendous powers where I could just do socialist experiments.
I'd be like, got it in a line?
Think of the towers! I just love how nebulous and threatening the powers is.
I mean, it depends on what I got, you know?
Right. Also, none of this matters.
I'm so soft, I would do nothing like any of that.
Well, you know, absolute power corrupts absolutely, so maybe I'd get there, but at first I would just be like, I feel like I'd be like, oh, man, what if the powers wear off when I'm mid-powers?
Like, what am I going to do if I'm flying or whatever?
Do I just die? Should I never use my powers?
And then, like, anxiety would kill me.
Oh man, what an unbelievably depressing download.
Oh gosh. I didn't want my anxiety.
Sorry, that's like 3.0.
It turns out anxiety is the most crippling part of the download.
He's like, I did that on purpose.
I remember all those things you said about me, those hurtful things on your podcast.
I've got my mutilated penis, which is perfect now.
It's a perfect robot cylinder.
It can do whatever I want it to.
Ah, yeah, but your natural form is still mutilated.
Shut up! Stop it!
I'm going to ride my penis out of here while you writhe in your agony.
Goodbye. He's like the Silver Surfer.
Anyway, we're spiraling.
The longer you drag this out, the better.
What are you looking forward to? I'm looking forward to the fact that I stupidly have a lot of faith in the Patriots actually winning a football game this Sunday.
They're in London. It's the craziest thing that any of us have said so far.
It really is. I'm out of my fucking mind.
Yeah, but the Jaguars are dog shit.
They're incredibly fucking bad, so it's going to be very interesting to see if the Patriots can actually lose to this team.
And if they do, I mean, it's not going to be that shocking.
They're an underdog. They suck.
That's interesting. I'm looking forward to that.
And also just puttering around ye olde homestead.
I might go to the Salem Willows to see how much has been shut down due to the seasonal change and what stuff is going to try to actually not treat the Willows as a seasonal tourist trap.
But beyond that, that's pretty much my existence.
I'm not in the download this week.
I like yours, though, because it's hopeful.
And we could all use a little more hope and not my nihilistic worldview about getting uploaded into a computer where I lord over NPCs with my powers.
On that note, it is time for us to use our mighty telekinesis to fly our asses out of hell world.
Or do we? Because we could fall at any moment.
So maybe we just walk, you know?
Why risk it? You know, maybe we don't even have powers.
Thank you so much for listening. God knows.
I don't know why you would, but we do love you for doing it.
I've returned to the show and it has become a disaster.
But if you'd like to support the show even harder, you can do so for free by giving us a five-star review wherever you get your show from.
If you have money and you want to donate it to the cause, patreon.com slash pokerpolitics.
$5 or more gets you access to all of our bonus content.
Thank you so much to all of the beautiful babies up in the crib.
If you have money and you don't want to donate it to a few dicks talking shit on the internet, we get that.
There's a bunch of good ways you can use that money, but we've always suggested love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our original intro song, Accidentally Remixed by Mike Rains, into what you heard at the top of the show.
Thanks as always to Frosty for all of our voiceover artistry and our bumps and stuff.
You can find them on BlueSky at FrostyBO.
You can find the show Adventures in Hellworld.
That's right, the show you're listening to right this very moment.
On Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. I'm on there talking shit about stuff that has nothing to do with politics, usually, so you can just ignore it if that's what you're here for.
But if you want pop media shit-talking, I'm at Hellworld Fatty.
Hellworld's called the same way as the show.
If you like politics and insightful, like, you know, doings and actually getting shit done, Haley, on various social media, at Arizona Rightwatcher, A-Z-R-W. In the trenches, getting shit done.
And of course, Mike Raines, discussing all things QAnon crazy.
We love him. He can be found on various social media, at PokerPolitics.
So, for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellwell podcast, I've been one of your hosts, Mysterious L, joined as always by Hayley, aka Arizona Rightwatch, and our expert on all things QAnon crazy, Mike Raines, aka PokerPolitics.
Good speed, patriots!
The new food advice from the government is that you should eat between 500 and 800 grams of fruit and vegetables every day.
How much fruit and vegetables is that really?
Jeg tror det er sånn rundt åtte frukter og grønt da.
Åja, det er derfor Ekstra har det der...
Alt i åtte! Ja, det er jo ikke en sammenheng der, ja.
Ja, hos Ekstra får du alltid åtte.
Nå får du blant annet apelsin til 24 kroner per kilo, og 300 gram norske sødbøtomater til 30 kroner.
Gjør frukt og grønt billig hos Ekstra.
Triple Tex. Det fleksible regnskapsprogrammet som forenkler hverdagen for over 130 000 fornøyde kunder.
Prøv gratis på TripleTex.no.
Med Ryanair kan du utforske en ny by fra bare 179 kroner.
Fly med Ryanair til Dubrovnik, London og flere andre steder.
Reiseperiode september til oktober, med forbehold om tilgjengelighet.
