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Aug. 22, 2024 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:45:48

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #203: RFK Jr. Drops Out

This week a bunch of jerks face justice for their various and sundry crimes. Also RFK Jr. is dropping out of the race he was oh so close to winning and the DNC is full of joy and conspiracy theories. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time	Text
	This is the sound of creamy celery soup with dad's support and gratinated broccoli.
	How many is it?
	1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 minus 2.
	I don't think you can do that.
	Yes, it's easy.
	Where is it?
	1, 2, 3... No.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	No.
	1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
	You did it faster than dad.
	Lunch together, sounds good.
	15,6.
	You did it fast for pappa, yeah.
	Middager sammen høres godt ut.
	Med matkasse fra Gottlevert.
	Godkjent av livet.
	While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rands, aka Program Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am very sleepy.
	Sleepy, sleepy Hayley.
	I've always heard about you, Crooked Hayley.
	And I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle.
	Welcome on, beautiful babies!
	I am not sleepy, but that's just because it is before nine o'clock.
	Once nine o'clock hits, I turn into a pumpkin these days.
	I've got my like my sleep schedule is like so just on fucking point that uh I at some point I just feel my body start powering down at one point during the day like I'm fucking Ultraman and I'm just like what's going on and I check my clock and it's like oh it's 907.
	My body knows that's the witching hour.
	The witching hour is now 9 p.m.
	The trade-off is that today I had the day off and it was Sunday or Wednesday.
	It's not Sunday but it's like Wednesday and Sunday are my two days off.
	So it's like normally I try to sleep in on those days and if I can't sleep in I try to get chores done.
	Well today I was up at like 7 a.m.
	It was just, hey guess what?
	7 a.m.
	no sleeping in for you.
	Wake up idiot and start scraping that gunk off the floor that you needed to scrape.
	So that's what I did.
	So you just did your chores, and now you're gonna be, like, you're gonna get tired around, like, 8 o'clock.
	You're gonna get hit with the wave of tired will be a little earlier this evening.
	Hell no.
	I'm gonna power through to 9, like a big boy.
	I can stay up to 9pm.
	I mean, I feel like it would be pretty easy for me to, like, set my sleep schedule back to, like, 11pm, 12pm, like I used to have it.
	But I just don't fucking have anything to do.
	Like, my friends are all domesticated, uh, with, like, wives and, like, husbands and kids and shit, like, obligations and stuff, so there's no, like, impromptu hanging out anymore.
	Hanging out is planned way in advance, so if I don't have anything going on, unless I want to go do, like, a sad boy thing by myself solo, and I'm not typically that guy, I like come home and I chill and then I'm just like, oh, I'm getting kind of sleepy.
	And it's just like, well, you know, do I want to go down the fork of fight it and stay up and try to play a video game or something?
	Or do I just want to like go to sleep and be a Viking?
	And I love being a Viking.
	It's all about going to the land of wind and ghosts.
	That's where it's at.
	No, I heard that you prepped us ahead of time that you had a grievance.
	Yeah, I was just about to launch into it.
	I do have a grievance.
	And I don't really know if it actually qualifies as a grievance so much as it's just like an observation that made me like weirdly nostalgic for stuff that I have no connection to.
	But I was scrolling the internet looking at nerd pictures and videos and stuff the way I normally do.
	And I ended up watching a bunch of these old time clips and seeing a bunch of these old time photos from 1890 to current.
	Like old colorized video reels and stuff like that.
	And I noticed stuff while I was watching them.
	There were some buses going by.
	It was like London 1920 or 1930 or whatever.
	There were these double-decker buses going by.
	On the back of each of these buses, there was a fellow.
	And the fellow was just standing there hanging off the back of the bus.
	And presumably the fellow was there to help you get onto and off of the bus.
	And I realized that, like, academically in my head, and I felt the erosion for a long time, like, I know that services are replaced by robots and just technology and just cultural mores, but, like, there used to be a time where there were a bunch of people that were just around to just do random little things for you.
	And that seems so cool when I think about it.
	Like, you just, like, go to a place and there's just, like, a guy to open the door for you.
	It's like, oh, shit, sweet.
	And, like, you get into the elevator and it's like...
	The bathroom one has always been kind of sus, because bathroom is like... I'm not looking for stranger activity in a bathroom, but the bathroom is supposed to be a sacred space.
	If it's a space I feel comfortable farting in, I don't feel like there should be somebody like within my bubble.
	But, you know, like get into an elevator, dude, they're like, hey, what floor are you going to?
	I'm happy to pull this lever to get you where you need to go.
	And I'm just like, oh, sweet.
	I didn't want to have to pull that lever.
	You do it.
	Thanks, bud.
	And then, you know, like, and those people, if they work for like, you know, if they work at like one of the big fancy high rises, man, with like the well-to-do and the modern-day aristocracy of the new.
	And like, they get tipped out, you know, a little handshake.
	Here's your $2 because it's 1920 or whatever.
	Like, here's your two bucks.
	Like, thank you for pulling that lever or thank you for giving me that mint or thank you for like assisting me off of the bus if I need it.
	I was just like, man, what a time.
	You know?
	Talk about, like, you want to create a bunch of jobs.
	Let's fucking bring that shit back.
	And like, if there was money in it, literally because you have to be person-facing, and if you want to be tipped or whatever, if that's the culture, ideally people just get paid what they're worth.
	But that seems like an incentive for like, it's one of the complaints that racists have about people that immigrate or like, you know, who come here for asylum or whatever, it's like, ugh, folk won't bother to learn English or whatever.
	It's just like, well, you know, create jobs that incentivize them to learn some English, you know?
	And then they will know English, and then you know what will happen to their children?
	They'll just naturally learn English.
	And that's how it works, you racists.
	But yeah, dude, like, if we want to make jobs come back, like, let's bring back just people helping you do minor shit.
	Just seems so cool!
	And a good way to get to know some random people.
	Like, if there's a guy who opens the door for you every day when you leave and enter and exit your building, like, unless you're a monster, you're probably going to get to know that person at least a little.
	Hey, it's Bob, my doorman.
	He's a pretty cool guy.
	I mean, yeah.
	Yeah, everybody likes their doorman.
	Yeah, and then Christmas is coming around and you're like, fuck, I gotta make sure to get Bob, like, a car with, like, a hundred dollars in it.
	That's the problem.
	Maybe that's why that went away.
	Everybody accumulated, like, 50 or 60 of these people that they just see every day at a Christmas camera, and they're just like, ah, shit!
	We're going to be John D. Rockefeller.
	We'll be deep in the hole.
	I got too many people to fucking- First time eliminated jobs?
	Is that what you're saying?
	I mean, I don't know what I'm saying.
	What I'm saying is that I liked the idea of dudes banging off the back of the buses to just be there to help my fat ass onto and off of it.
	Although, in the 1920s, I would have been like Sideshow Fat.
	I would have been too rich for buses.
	I'd be like, no, thank you.
	I make plenty of money.
	I'd make plenty of money to afford a fucking repurposed, like, refrigerator truck to ferry me around because I am the King of the Sideshow.
	And they're just like, my God, you're the fattest man I've ever seen.
	In the future I come from, I am still pretty fat, but not nearly the fattest.
	The other side of that whole, like, people-helping-you thing was, like, the Japanese subways where they have the guys with the giant, like, ramrods with the padding on them and they, like, shove you in and, like, crush you in their, like, sardines.
	Which is, like, so when I see that, like, I don't know if it's being... Can you be positively racist?
	Is it possible?
	Because when I see that, I'm just, like, You gotta know that there's no possible way to get any more efficiency out of those train lines to make it so that maybe they don't need the fucking guys with the sticks to smash people's bodies into the trains.
	Which is like, the obvious solution is just like, put another train on the track, you know?
	Like, get another train in there, idiots.
	But I'm giving the Japanese enough credit.
	Their fucking train lines are so good that I feel like if they could be more efficient, they already would have done that.
	So when I see the guy with the stick, I'm just like, that sucks and it looks really dystopian, but like, I gotta imagine they're in a pickle with no better solution.
	If the solution was just as simple as run more lines on the track, I feel like they don't want to have done that.
	Yeah, they've mapped it out and Guy with a Stick crushing you onto the subway is the optimal play.
	It's actually the highest EV play they got.
	It's great.
	The music festival I go to every year has a robust free-to-play arcade in it with an assortment of insane Japanese arcade video games.
	This past year they had, there's like a series in Japan that very rarely makes its way to the United States because who besides the Japanese that built it would want to be inside of like essentially a one-for-one scale replica of the control panel for the engine like or control like car or whatever for one of these bullet trains and that was the arcade game you would like show up if it wasn't free to play you would like pay it like four dollars
	And then for like, you know, 10 minutes or whatever, you got to essentially pretend to be at the wheels of a high-speed bullet train in Japan.
	And I was just like, that does seem cool, but in such a specific way, for such like, you know, an obviously elaborate piece of hardware.
	I'd like to file a brief complaint for the week also, since we're doing opening complaints.
	Hell yeah.
	Maybe this should just be the new segment.
	Fuck Unstructured Time.
	This is our time to pitch about stuff.
	I haven't seen it, but...
	The Borderlands movie came out and I honestly was watching trailers for that just utterly confused by every decision that I was watching and I've seen that the reviews are it's worse than dog shit um and I just I don't understand why we did this.
	I'm a fan of the Borderlands movies or the Borderlands video games and I'm just like why did we have to make a shit Why did we have to make a shit adaptation?
	Why did we have any of these decisions made?
	I'm just upset all around.
	I'm not going to watch it.
	Can somebody, can a listener watch it and let me know how absolute dog shit it is?
	Please?
	So I don't have to sit through it because I'm not going to do that.
	I've been watching this thinking it's ass kicked up and down because I watch a lot of like cinema related YouTube stuff and everybody agrees that this one's a big stinker.
	Honestly, like, there was literally no chance for this to be good if it was based on the video games.
	The video games are super fun, but the problem is the writing in the video games has always been, like, pretty bad.
	It was, like, hilarious in the same way that, like, the worst people you knew thought Invader Zim was hilarious, you know?
	They liked the part where the robot screamed a thing, and that was the part that they liked about the show, which is how you get a tiny Tina.
	It's couch co-op.
	It's a fun game to play with all your friends.
	That's why I wanted to make sure to preface it by saying that the game is fun.
	Like, I do like playing Borderlands, but listening to Borderlands is untenable.
	I always play it with music on or a podcast.
	Like, I cannot listen to that.
	Don't even like reading the subtitles.
	The Australian one.
	I literally have to play that one on mute.
	Like one of the, like Tiny Tina, I never understood why everybody loved Tiny Tina when she first came out.
	But like, I feel like Tiny Tina schtick should have worn out on everybody like 10 years ago.
	And that was probably when they decided to greenlight this Borderlands movie, not knowing it was going to take forever.
	But now it's like, it's been so long since we first got introduced to Tiny Tina bopping around saying badonkadonk and throwing on a black scent and Like, you know, all that horrible shit.
	Then it's just, like, now, like, everything that even, like, fans of the game used to just sort of swallow fine, like, it just seems cringe-as-fuck to everybody.
	Everybody's, like, looking at it and just being like, eh!
	And they took out the only good part of the game, which was playing it.
	Like playing it and having fun playing it.
	Because you can't do that in a movie.
	So it's just like all you're left with is bad writing and this world that is kind of nothing.
	And the stuff that is there is needlessly confusing.
	Like, Mad Max's story is pretty simple, usually.
	There's, like, an evil dickhead in the wasteland, and then a bunch of wasteland shit happens, and the dickhead gets their comeuppance or whatever.
	But in Borderlands, it's, like, alien angels and phoenixes and, like, psychic bullshit, and it's just, like, ugh.
	Like, let's simplify this.
	It's about a bunch of ding-dongs shooting a bunch of guys in masks.
	Anyways, listener, let me know how bad it is.
	Just you, nameless listener, you're getting called out.
	Yes, you, the audience, one of you, except the terrible challenge of watching Borderlands, the movie, which is at...
	1% ripe on rotten tomatoes or whatever.
	I mean, it is.
	That movie has been getting absolutely doom-blitterated from the second it came out.
	Hey, it started at a zero and then it rocketed to 10%, you know?
	Once the larger wave of reviews came in, there were a few people who are brain-dead or were paid enough money to say that Actually, it's okay, I guess.
	It's pretty good.
	I think someone said it best when they were like, look, now I was right all along, the haters went first.
	Maybe Young Gravy reviewed it because there are a couple of tasty MILFs in there.
	That was gross and I couldn't really get it out.
	Okay, let's get into our amuse-bouche.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
	Wouldn't you believe it?
	That dang old George Santos just agreed to all the crimes he committed.
	What a squirrely guy.
	I thought he was going to fight to the death despite the overwhelming evidence against him, like his pal and mentor and friend Donald Trump.
	Yeah, our boy George Santos took a plea, and the headline of many of the news articles I looked at about this plea deal was, mandatory prison time, big factor in acceptance of plea deals as prosecutor.
	So basically it was like, yeah, you're, you're going to have to go to jail for this shit, buddy.
	And, uh, Santos pled guilty to two counts.
	Uh, one was like really, it was a very oddly phrased thing.
	It was like aggressively impersonating or aggressively stealing the identities of people.
	And it was like 11 people that he identity frauded, which included members of his family.
	And he also owes like a half million dollars in restitution for his various crimes.
	And.
	He is expected to serve roughly six to eight years of prison for all of it.
	He's gonna do a minimum of two, but the sentencing guidelines are between six and eight, so George is gonna be going away for a while now.
	I mean, I get that Trump, like, rising up like Icarus and somehow not having his wings melt and continuing to float around the sun really inspired a lot of people, but when you're Just such an openly shameless crook like Santos, what makes you think, you know what I need to do?
	Run for public office and generate just a huge spotlight on myself.
	Just let the whole world look at me and start digging around into my shit to see what's going on.
	Because if they do that, they're just going to find nothing but crimes.
	Just literally my life is crime.
	Is he in jail, like in lockup, or is that coming later?
	Uh, February 7th is when he's being sentenced.
	He's out on bond until early next year, and then... Maybe he's fleeing the country.
	Oh, heading for Venezuela as we speak, yes.
	I do think he's had all of his passport and all that good stuff yanked, so yeah.
	But he's out on bond until his sentencing, at which point he will then report to the club fed of the... Did they seize his secret, like, second passport for his drag identity?
	I can't remember her name.
	That'd be so great.
	That's how he gets out of the country.
	He just shows up at the airport, just wearing his beautiful red dress, and just... Mr. Santos, we can't let you on this flight.
	He's just like, who are you talking about?
	That's giving him too much credit.
	That's making him too much like Bugs Bunny.
	We need to pull out.
	We need to stop humanizing him.
	That's exactly true.
	He's a prison loser.
	Let's see if he can make up $500,000 worth of cameos.
	Yeah, that'd be great!
	George Sanders like smuggles a phone into the prison and is just literally in his cell doing cameos all day.
	Oh, there's gonna be so many stories.
	This is not the end of the saga.
	This is only the beginning.
	You know?
	Maybe I'll end up in the same prison as R. Kelly and he can get serenaded.
	I don't know if any of you guys saw that allegedly leaked from prison footage of R. Kelly serenading those prisoners while he's like cleaning up the common area.
	But I was like, man, I hope this is true because it's really funny to watch somebody fall from grace that much for being a fucking creepy cult weirdo.
	And R. Kelly couldn't happen to a nicer guy, so yeah.
	Enjoy prison for your sex crimes forever, loser.
	Yes.
	Anyway.
	Yeah, the boosh is literally just people either going to jail or just getting set up for impending jailery.
	This is the find out phase of the fuck around.
	This week has been pretty solid on that front.
	Yeah, because our second boost topic brings us to our good friend Andrew Tate, who the last time we heard from him, aside from him posting, he just had an unflattering picture.
	He posted a thing and then it made him look super cool with him and his little lady panties that made him look like he had, like, no penis and or testicles, which was really funny.
	Andrew Tate, the master of the tuck.
	Yeah.
	Andrew Tate is Buck Angel, like all of a sudden it's like, what the fuck?
	Like, dude, I had no idea.
	I had no idea that you were a man with a pussy.
	That is incredible.
	Stop fighting angrily against the world.
	Just live your truth.
	King and or queen.
	Yes.
	Andrew Tate smooth as a Ken doll.
	Just, it was just so that photo was so funny because it's literally the exact opposite of every other transvestigation ever where people are just like, look at this woman, look at the circles in hand.
	Like if the head of, if the head of your cock isn't poking out of your shorts, they should be questioning what's going on because the inverse is certainly If you're a lady and you have any sort of cloth bunching up anywhere, fucking even remotely close to just below your knee, like, you'd be like, dude, dude, Michael Bubba's got such a huge dick.
	I mean, look at, look at where this bulge is.
	And it's like, you crazy lunatics.
	What are you talking about?
	Do you people know how penises work?
	If there's a bulge in the middle of someone's thigh, it's not their dick.
	That's not how that works.
	I mean, it could be if you're that Paul Volter guy.
	If you won the Olympic gold medal in revealing to the world accidentally that you have a massive schvanz, then yeah, I mean, maybe that's the case.
	But, you know, for the rest of us regular folk, like, you know, it would be pretty suspect if I was claiming that my cock was hanging that close to my knee.
	I'm going to tell you that much a lot of the time.
	But transvestigators, you can't talk sense into them.
	Yeah, and this is the thing about Andrew Tate is that all of the things... Oh yeah, we actually forgot to talk about what's going on with him.
	It's good that you reined us back in for just busting out his lack of a penis.
	Turns out he's getting raided again by the police, yet again for sex crimes.
	Unsurprisingly.
	Once again, it's sex crimes.
	That's what's so funny about all of these people who are all about, like, save the children, blah, blah, blah.
	Well then, you need to disown Andrew Tate immediately, because that dude apparently, while still awaiting trial on human trafficking and sex crime charges, now the Romanian government has come after him with a new raid looking for evidence of fresh allegations of human trafficking and sex crimes.
	And apparently while this was going on, Tate made a six minute video online Talking about how the Matrix is still going after him, because when you are a human trafficker, you have to immediately plead innocence and scream that the Illuminati are out to get you.
	This is all bullshit.
	I was busy raw-jogging this ghost, and then I looked up and I saw the Black Cat walk by twice, so it's obvious the Matrix is out to get me.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So, yeah, our boy Tate...
	The Romanian government and the police haven't come forward with what they were looking for or what they had found, but that will be forthcoming.
	But the breaking news was that this raid had happened.
	Tate made a tweet about how he talked to one of the cops that was raiding his apartment or whatever and said, Man, oy mate, you got a lot of people riled up against you because the cops often admit that you are being done wrong by the Illuminati when you talk to them.
	They'll just let you know, like, look man, you're getting a raw deal.
	And then they put one hand over one eye to let you know that they're servants to the Dark Lord and they are forced to do this against their will.
	I think it was probably just, like, a language barrier issue.
	I think, like, the guy maybe said something similar to, man, you've got a lot of people after you.
	But because of the language, like, you know, the proper intonation wasn't there.
	He meant the families of all the girls that Andrew Tate is, like, trafficking and probably doing sex against, you know?
	Like, all sexual assault against these people.
	This is a reoccurring story that Tate tells.
	I've heard him say, like, every time he gets arrested, he's been like, oh, the cops tell me that I actually am super innocent and they think I'm super innocent.
	It says he was arrested, so it's investigations of allegations of human trafficking, trafficking of minors, sexual intercourse with a minor, influencing statements, and money laundering.
	Sexual intercourse with a minor, that doesn't sound like KJT to me.
	No.
	Someone posted, they had a tweet of the raid, and they said, man, you think you know somebody.
	And I was just like, yeah.
	Speaking of people who are a little Drake-ish, did we talk about Dr. Disrespect trying to crawl back into relevance or whatever?
	Posting cryptic shit on his TikTok, his fucking Twitter or whatever.
	It's like, dude, we have the receipt where you admitted to doing the thing.
	You don't get to come back.
	I hate the fact that if he makes the attempt, he probably will succeed.
	But that's just because, like, all these conservatives are just like, dude, we need to protect our kids.
	But we should re-evaluate making the age of consent.
	13, 14, somewhere around there.
	Like, we want to protect children, but we would like that line redrawn, please.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I don't know why the fuck it came up.
	Obviously, the person retweeting it was like, dude, this is fucking creepy and weird.
	But someone who I assume is a libertarian or a conservative had a thing where it was literally the map of America's age of consent laws.
	And it was just like, you people defending teenagers and thinking this is all crazy.
	And it's just like, buddy, buddy, buddy, calm the fuck down.
	We do not need to know what states allow what to happen when.
	You caring about this is really creepy.
	You need to dial it back a skosh.
	Yeah, if the culturally decided upon number of 18 is somehow not good enough for you, then you are the problem.
	You are the problem!
	Hypothetical sir, or madam, if you're a teacher.
	Otherwise, sir.
	Like, you, like, how is this an issue for you?
	Just wait.
	Like, just fucking wait.
	18 is even like still pretty sus, based on like what we know about development and how our culture has changed.
	18 is pretty suspect, but you know, it is what it is.
	Predator, being a predator amongst People that are barely of age.
	It's a creepy behavior.
	The coolest guys are the guys in their early 30s.
	Fucking 18 year olds.
	Yeah, that's the thing.
	Why are you concerned about the age of consent when you're in your 30s?
	At that point, what are you going to do?
	How are you going to interact with a teenager of any teenage years?
	What is your conversation going to be?
	What position do you like?
	And then would you like me to call you a cab up top?
	You can tell that joke is old because I said cab and not like lift or whatever.
	Speaking of the sanctity of the age of consent, let's talk about somebody who I'm sure always loves that sanctity and that's Kim Dotcom.
	What I'm surprised we're talking about because I thought Kim Dotcom was dead.
	And that's not a joke.
	I just like literally thought that was one of the bad guys that just went to Southeast Asia and then was just turned up dead sometimes.
	So he's back, I guess.
	He's back in Pog form.
	So Mike, tell me, how did you collect this Kim Dotcom Pog?
	My Kim Dotcom Pog was collected by me because He had been fighting extradition to America for over a decade over money laundering and the stealing of copyrighted materials, because his whole defense for his video version of Napster and LimeWire was, hey, other people uploaded that shit.
	It's not my fault, bro.
	And eventually, American officials seeking extradition and New Zealand officials Hearing out the extradition agreements have said, you know, America, you're right.
	Kim Dotcom does need to come back to America and to answer for his crimes.
	And after this happened, our boy Kim went on the internet and basically literally just posted, Hey, everybody, I know people claim this is a forgery and that it's all bullshit, but it's not.
	I think this is actually accurate and true.
	And the shit that he was talking about in this tweet was the protocols.
	The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
	The totally discredited, fraudulent bullshit that was made nearly a century ago about how Jews were secretly plotting to take over the world.
	So Kim was just like, hey, I'm about to go to jail for a very long time.
	Time to just let everybody know I'm a fucking Nazi.
	Full on, just no question about it.
	If there was any mask on me whatsoever, I am taking that mask off.
	Just fuck you.
	I love being a Nazi and Jews secretly rule the world.
	I'm Kim.com, the end.
	So yeah, just trying to go out in a blaze of glory or also because he's a very doughy man trying to butter up the white supremacists at the prison he'll be attending in a short while after he's convicted for his crimes.
	Yeah, I don't really view it so much as mine-conf as our-conf.
	Am I right, guys?
	Yes, exactly.
	Yeah, so his post went kind of viral on Debunker World because it was just like, But the best part of that thing was he was like, look, I'm not a Nazi.
	And it's like, buddy, you literally can't say that when you're posting the protocols.
	That's just the er anti-Semitism of the modern era.
	The Nazis were publishing that shit.
	I mean... Maybe he's just pissed off that Nazis get all the credit, like, for anti-Semitism.
	Like maybe he's just pissed off.
	He's just like, dude, you could fucking be an anti-Semite and not be a Nazi.
	You know, that's kind of fucked up.
	Like I've never even been to Germany, dude.
	He's like, bro, what about Henry Ford?
	That guy was breaking new ground in anti-Semitism.
	He was incredible.
	And he built cars.
	Yeah, and even if you don't think that those two things have, like, been separate, I mean, you know, the world needs a pioneering trailblazer like me to pick up the torch and be that anti-Semite for the world.
	And this is his impassioned plea to the skinheads in prison.
	He's desperately hoping not to get assaulted by them.
	He's, like, standing at a table, like, trying to Braveheart them.
	Yeah, so basically in the last week or so, New Zealand agreed to extradite him.
	I don't know when he's getting put on the plane and flown to America, but unlike Julian Assange, who didn't get extradited, it doesn't appear like Kim's got any outs here.
	It doesn't feel like there's anyone with any sympathy for that guy that's going to be trying to pull some strings to keep him away from America's legal system.
	So yeah, enjoy prison, Santos, Tate, and Kim.com, all of you.
	You've all earned it.
	You've all put in the work needed to go to jail, and by God, I can't wait to see that happen for all of you.
	How many times does Andrew Tate need to get raided for child sex crimes and human trafficking before it fucking sticks?
	What are they missing?
	They're just like, in our country, you need to walk in and they need to be in the middle of doing it.
	It's fucked up, but that is the law.
	I think the Romanian government, from the first trial, said that they were working on building the case so much for him.
	It was going to be like 18 months before the trial started.
	And that was probably, I don't know, nine months or so ago.
	It would be just awesome if Indradate just kept committing crimes.
	That's how he's rolling the clock back.
	He just keeps on committing crimes.
	There's no rare instance where we get to be on our high horse about this, Mike, because if he could be getting away with this in America, he would be.
	Yes!
	So, I have to imagine that there's some shit going on in Romania that allows him to just be, like, assaulted women!
	I mean, look around, guys!
	I don't see any assaulted women here!
	Goddammit!
	Every time he busts in his door, he's never assaulting a woman.
	That is literally what he said before he moved to Romania, was it's way easier to do crimes in Romania.
	That's why I'm going there.
	So, yeah.
	I'm moving permanently to Romania because it is easier to obscure my genital deformity.
	It makes it look like I have no dick and balls.
	But in Romania, they're actually pretty chill about it, so I got my confidence back, so here are some pics.
	Check it out, ladies.
	Full manspread, but you don't have to be worried, because I don't have a cock or balls.
	Totally smooth.
	Hey baby, am I k'nuff for ya?
	There's actually a guy at my work who has the I Am K'nuff shirt, and he shows up with it like once a week.
	And I'm just like, man, live your best life, sir.
	Live your Barbie life, sir.
	I love how, like, the Barb in Hyperphenomenon felt so huge last summer.
	And then, like, this summer, quietly, like, Inside Out 2 and Deadpool and Wolverine and fucking, like, Twisters and all these movies are just coming out and just, like, just raking in the cash.
	And it's just like, I mean, especially Inside Out 2 and Deadpool and Wolverine.
	Those two things are both way bigger than Barbenheimer.
	They're just raking it, buddy, hand over fist.
	But, like, no one's really talking about it.
	Just because it wasn't, like... Barbenheimer felt sort of, like, organically fun before all the corporations got involved, so... Shout out to us, like, theater goons who made the Barbenheimer thing so special last year.
	Anyway... What is that?
	Like movie theater goons.
	Like, you know, dorkaces like me that still like the theater experience.
	I feel like after COVID, a lot of people thought it became chic to just be like, yeah, I just don't really go to theaters anymore.
	Why risk it?
	And I'm just like, because it's an experience.
	Like, like, having something happen to you simultaneously with a few thousand people is, uh, well, I mean, you, you got that experience with the whole world and it has apparently shocked you out of movies forever.
	Uh, so I mean, I like, if you can't understand it, then, you know, No, I'm not letting weird perverts take the word goon.
	I'm happy to share it because I like making jokes about gooning as much as the next guy.
	But I'm tired of weird sex perverts just showing up and just being like, this is our word now.
	I'm surprised that people let him get away with taking daddy.
	Enough people were using daddy that I feel like it should be, like, I should be able to say that in my regular tone of voice and not have it sound like 30% sexual.
	It's just fucking impossible these days, mate.
	You have to go out of your way to baby talk to make it not sound sexy.
	And for, like, a percentage of the world, that's gonna get them bricked up.
	So, like, sex perverts.
	Share.
	You need to learn to share.
	The word goon, like, I've been using it for too long.
	I had a company with that name in the title.
	I'm not, you know.
	Anyway.
	And also, just come.
	Like, finish.
	Just do it regular style, you know?
	Sorry.
	It's time to stop talking about gooning and stop talking about Nazis, and let's start talking about a place where I'm sure there are no goons and no Nazis, and that's Arizona.
	That's why we have our friend Haley on the show to tell us about her fine state, the state of Arizona.
	So Haley, I'm going to throw it over to you.
	What's going on in Arizona this week?
	Certainly no gooning or Nazis.
	No, absolutely not.
	Definitely not.
	Or the ever more terrifying gooning Nazis!
	We hate Jews!
	We're edging!
	Um, but, you know, I honestly forgot about this until you brought up the, uh, the Kim Dotcom Protocols of the Elders of Zion thing.
	Um, Wendy Rogers shared our state senator, our, our, our local- Esteemed state senator, Wendy Rogers.
	Beloved state senator.
	Yep, she's- Yeah, Hayley, get it right or pay the price.
	Put some stake on that.
	She similarly shared a post, she shared basically just a really long text from the Committee of 300, which is by John Coleman.
	It's like a commonly referenced book that Alex Jones and David Icke reference, and just the Committee of 300 conspiracy in general, which is basically the idea that like 300 wealthy families Mainly Jewish people run the world.
	It's actually kind of infamous for being one of the few English books that Osama Bin Laden had on his bookshelf and has inspired assassination.
	Wendy Rogers shared like a huge amount of text from this including like shit that says like the Order of the Elders of Zion run the world and it's just like nobody covered that.
	I don't think there's news media anymore covering this kind of stuff because that just kind of went over the radar and Uh, nobody cared, but we're talking about it here, people, so get all your best news on Hill World.
	Um, anyways... Oh yeah, let's use our tiny platform for some amount of good, even though I have to stress that I am not a journalist in any capacity, comedy show, etc.
	Comedy show, it's a comedy show, but hey, look at that information that you just learned, everybody, that was not reported on.
	It's infotainment, baby!
	Like, you know, we're the Teletubbies for the modern generation.
	We're the Teletubbies, but we need a content warning at the top of our show, because, you know, we frequently have to talk about child sex crimes anyway, back to Arizona.
	Wendy Rogers just does, like, outlandish shit so much that it's hard to just, like, constantly, I guess, write about her, but, like, she did make the news this last week for calling Kamala Harris a bitch, which is, like, sure, she's a white supremacist calling a black woman a bitch, but, like, she's tweeting straight-up, like, white supremacist, like, neo-Nazi propaganda here.
	Did we talk about that salacious headline last week that Donald Trump was apparently calling Kamala a bitch behind closed doors?
	Did we mention that at all?
	I can't remember.
	Because I thought it was really funny that that was trending like it was news.
	It was like, this is the most obvious thing I've ever heard of in my life.
	They're just like, oh really?
	Donald Trump behind closed doors?
	He's got some shit to say about Kamala Harris?
	Yeah, honestly, like, yeah, that would be, like, if the headline was, surprisingly, Donald Trump not calling Kamala Harris a bitch in public, I would buy that.
	But anyways, okay, back to Wendy Rogers.
	It's also not surprising when she does it.
	It's even less news.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so moving on, though, to somebody else who it's not as surprising.
	Surprise Arizona twist on this one.
	So, I don't know if people have been paying attention to Candace Owens lately, ever since she had her departure from The Daily Wire.
	Haley, I'm here to tell you that I never have paid attention to her, thank you very much.
	That's good, that's healthy.
	Um, she got let go from the Daily Wire because, like, I mean, she's, like, often said some of the most horrifically, like, anti-Black, anti-Semitic stuff, but then she got on the, like, anti-Israel stuff and started to, like, get more explicit in the anti-Semitism and, yeah, her and Daily Wire parted ways.
	Her podcast, the Candace Owens podcast, was ran through the Daily Wire and it, you know, obviously ended Once that happened, um, she came out with a new podcast just called Candace.
	Um, and this last week, she's had, like, the Tate Brothers on, um, where she was defending the hell out of their, uh, uh, their, their alleged sex traffic crimes and just, like, running hard defense for them.
	Perfect timing!
	Yeah, really good timing.
	Um, and...
	They were talking, you know, like, some pretty heavy anti-Semitic stuff and then she did a Spaces and then she went back and did another episode of her podcast that was, like, incredibly anti-Semitic.
	She's kind of, like, running through this, like, her overlapping conspiracy over these last few episodes that is that, one, obviously they are out to get the Tate Brothers.
	And two, that like, um, the, like, uh, field of psychology and psychiatry have been, uh, created by Kabbalist Jews to implement, like, their pedophilic, uh, religion, um, on the world.
	So she's straight stealing from Scientology at this point?
	What the fuck?
	uh like she she's doing that she's doing this like all jews are pedophiles all jews run the world and run the media but she's kind of like pinning it like but i mean kabbalist jews and frankish jews Right.
	The bad Jews.
	That's the whole excuse.
	Look, I'm not an anti-Semite.
	There are good Jews out there, technically, but... But then she's like, every Jewish person you know, the first Jewish person on SCOTUS, you know, these Jewish lynching victims.
	Uh, all these Jews that you know throughout history, they're actually Frankist and or Kabbalist Jews, and it's infested, like, all the faiths, and Israel is a home of pedophiles, and blah blah blah blah blah, and, like, just some really fringe stuff, and then it's like, here's the twist, Arizonans, whoosh, right at the bottom.
	Sponsored by Grand Canyon University!
	And she there's she does this lead into like there's no it's not like a special ad or anything it's not like the video cuts and it's like a pre-programmed ad she's just like ranting about the Jews and then she's like so anyway and then I want to tell you about this school uh and talk about our sponsor so it's just like long rant leads into uh one of the major schools here uh
	Sponsoring this, which is like, you know, there's been a lot of like, okay, Candace's career is done.
	After she departed the Daily Wire.
	But, like, Turning Point USA, number one, has been, like, still, uh, you know, bringing her to all the conferences and, like, she's still part of the Turning Point USA team.
	And two, apparently, you know, like, shitty, like, makeup brands and all the, like, whatever the fuck is sponsoring her weird uh like neo-nazi rants uh and also a fucking major university here in Arizona so like hey what's up with that uh Grand Canyon University so anyway uh that's kind of what's going on with Candace and a school here they also funded an episode
	I was just going to see what episodes that they sponsored and they sponsored an episode, first of all they sponsored a pro-Putin episode, and they also sponsored an episode that it was basically insinuating that the Sonya Massey video, the murder video, was released to influence black Americans to riot in the name of Biden.
	So they're just, like, sponsoring, like, very anti-black, very anti-queer.
	That's crazy.
	That video was released, and if people want to riot over it, that's their fucking right.
	Because that video is insane.
	In fact, I'm surprised we're not rioting over it right now, to be honest with you.
	You're still on point for that, but yeah, so that's what the Grand Canyon University is currently putting their money towards, so yikes, Arizona, what are you doing?
	Yikes.
	Anyways.
	Now that you finally jogged my memory and I remember who Candace Owens is, what do you suppose Trump calls her behind closed doors, you know?
	That's a fun thought experiment.
	Take a look at that one.
	A very fine person.
	Oh yeah, I'm sure.
	I'm sure that he's always playing that one pretty safe.
	Yeah.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah.
	When we get into the whole DNC thing, Haley just, like, unlocked the brain worms of me having to deal with people arguing the very fine people thing.
	And it's just, oh my God, those people.
	I love them.
	I love them so much.
	They're truly... Well, Haley, do you have any more fine Arizona news for us?
	Uh, just real quick, Trump will be here on Friday.
	He will be here, um, for a rally at the same arena that Kamala was at, um, last week, or whenever the fuck it was.
	My memory is dogshit right now.
	Um, and also, RFK Jr.
	will be here on the same day.
	Uh, seemingly- And you're stepping on the news?
	Stepping on the news.
	Goodbye.
	Okay, well, I guess it's time for that news bump.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News!
	Haley, continue taking it away.
	Uh, I hear he's going to endorse Trump.
	R.F.K.
	endorsing Trump, but R.F.K.
	is supposed to be running for President of the United States of America.
	R.F.K.
	and his brain worm that pilots him, like Ratatouille style, are running for President, and they are pledging to kill all bears and hide them in fun places for you to discover.
	With prizes inside of them, like an Easter egg hunt.
	But they're dead bears.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, our boy RFK Jr.
	allegedly on Friday is going to drop out of the presidential race and endorse Donald Trump.
	And boy howdy, QAnon could not be more over the moon about this.
	Game-changing titanic shift in the presidential election.
	RFK Jr.
	certified lunatic nut.
	Casting his lot in with Donald Trump, the God Emperor.
	Man, you've never seen a more happy group of people.
	I am sure that all the various and sundry right-wing grifters are going to be explaining how this This is it.
	This locks up the presidency for Donald Trump, because boy howdy, there was no way, there's just no way, no how America could possibly overcome the powerful Trump-RFK Jr.
	alliance that we now are about to witness.
	The funniest part about this for me is that RFK Jr.
	is actually on the ballot already in a bunch of states.
	In Michigan, I believe he just got on the ballot in Arizona.
	So his name is going to be on the ballot.
	They can't take it off now.
	So anyone who wanted to vote for him still can.
	And I just don't know who moves off of RFK to Trump.
	Because the whole reason why you were voting for RFK was that Trump was Mr. Operation Warp Speed, and the Democrats are all about the vaccines and thinking that COVID's a real thing and not a fake Illuminati plot to steal your guns or whatever.
	So I just don't see how RFK is saying, hey everybody, remember me, the crazy anti-vaxxer?
	I now love Mr. Operation Warp Speed.
	Vote for him, please, and thank you.
	And all the anti-vaxxers are like, sounds good, bro.
	We're doing it.
	We're totally going to vote for Trump now because you He just told us to vote for the guy that's genociding America and the world with the clot shot, the deadly COVID vaccine murder death weapon thing.
	I just don't see this being transformative.
	And all it actually does is that whole weird allegation against Republicans.
	Like, boy, howdy, like having RFK Jr.
	talks about Trump.
	I love Trump!
	Oh yeah, the bear killing brain worm guy.
	This is the most normal move they could make.
	Let's get the most normal person we know to endorse Trump.
	RFK!
	Oh my god, what?
	Yes!
	I don't know if he'll be at the actual rally.
	He'll be there on the same day.
	It's in Phoenix.
	The Trump rally is in Glendale, so I have no idea where he is.
	Yeah, they probably aren't going to be together, but they're going to be in the same state.
	They're going to be in the same ballpark.
	Obviously, they probably wanted to leak it to get what little press they could for RFK Jr., but the fact that the cat's out of the bag and that RFK Jr.
	is going to drop out and endorse Trump, Means that basically he's going to give his speech.
	My favorite part of this is that there's like press releases saying, RFK Jr.
	will address the nation about the path forward of his campaign.
	It's like, you're not addressing the nation.
	The nation ain't listening to you, buddy.
	No one cares.
	Um, also for some fucking goddamn reason, Riley Gaines will be speaking at the Trump rally, who is not an Arizona resident and is just a loser.
	Uh, former.
	Yeah, she's the girl who came in fifth, losing to three cisgender women and the trans woman who won the race.
	And those other three women didn't throw a fit, but Miss Fifth Place was the one who was like, hey, I'm going to make a career out of being a grifter over this, because I'm a giant piss baby.
	I mean, to be fair, she was never really going to make a career being fifth place in her sport.
	No.
	No.
	She did accurately clock that nobody gives a fuck about fifth place.
	It's like, oh, yeah, you dedicated a big part of your life to this and you're still just not good enough to hit the podium.
	So time for pivoting.
	And it's like, ooh, this is your choice?
	I mean, it seems to be working in the short term, but what are you doing after this?
	At some point we're going to settle this one, you would hope.
	Yeah, that's what makes it so funny.
	The argument that these people want to make, trans women in sports is how these people get their foot in the door to be mad at trans people.
	Because regular people can look at that and be like, yeah, that's kind of weird.
	I can see how we have to talk about that.
	We have to have regulations and derpa derpa.
	But then when you pivot from that to trans women can't use the bathrooms they prefer because they're going to attack people, then it's like, no, you're a fucking clown.
	What are you talking about?
	Like, no one's getting attacked in bathrooms as it stands now.
	This is bullshit.
	You're just lying for the sake of being a transphobe.
	And then they're just like, shut up!
	I just really care about women's safety.
	It's like, no you don't.
	You're just a bigot.
	You're just a hateful idiot.
	That's where we are with Miss Riley.
	That's awesome.
	I love that the right wing pisses and moans about how Kamala and Walls get stars to go to their shows and perform, and meanwhile Trump's like, hey, the fifth place swimmer who hates trans people, she's going to be there!
	Come out, folks!
	Come out and join the show!
	If Trump could get stars, they'd love it.
	They'd be so happy that their guy was tapped into the entertainment industry and could bring in people that people actually cared about.
	Which he can't, because he sucks.
	I will say, there are some people semi-locally to me whose house I drive by on my commute occasionally, depending on the direction I'm going.
	They do have signs for RFK in their yard, so maybe I should ask them.
	You know, just unsolicited, just knock on their door.
	You know, the way that I'm sure people who are libertarian like.
	And be like, hey, what are you planning on doing now that your boy, like, who does the worm command you to go for now?
	Like, is your worm, does it give you different signals than his?
	Or is it all like a hive sort of thing?
	I have to imagine they've all got the worm, because otherwise it makes no sense to think that RFK Jr.
	is like a real, actual candidate for President of the United States.
	Are you kidding me?
	Are you kidding me?
	The guy who stuffed a dead bear in, like, fuckin' Central Park, like a decade ago, and it was like a big, like, funny, like, one-off, like, mystery, like, who fuckin' shoots up some weird dead bear carcass here, and doesn't fuckin' throw a bicycle on top of it, and it turns out it was the candidate for the President of the United States?
	You're kidding me?
	Like, no.
	Absolutely not.
	I just love all the money and all the resources that were brought in for the RFK Jr.
	campaign as a rat fuck against the Democrats.
	And they really thought they had something.
	And now it's crashed and burned so hard.
	That they're looking at, they're like, oh shit, oh shit, RFK Jr.
	is actually hurting Trump!
	Abort!
	Abort!
	Quick!
	Drop out and endorse Trump!
	You know, you could have just had RFK as a Trump surrogate from the start, being pro-Trump all day every day, and that would have been better, but because you had the 9-D chess, this shit, you're like, Oh my god, RFK Jr.' 's last name is Kennedy!
	We can trick dumb liberals into voting for a Kennedy!
	Oh baby, we nailed it!
	So smart!
	And it's like now it's actually stupid as hell and it was obviously transparently going to backfire.
	Please, Lord, nobody tell our opponents that despite what they think, our side is not actually the lesser of the two intellects.
	Like, it behooves us for them to continue to think that they're smarter than us, because, like, the truth is, they obviously are not.
	You know, like, generally, I feel like, quote, like, like the...
	You never hear anybody talk about your fucking, your coastal, well-educated conservatives, you know?
	Like, the word liberal is always at the end of that.
	The people that go to, like, all these schools and get degrees.
	Anyway.
	I'm just saying, like, continue to think that you've got this one to slam-dunk in the back.
	Especially with the RFK endorsement.
	I mean, how could you guys lose?
	Let Donald Trump say whatever he wants on stage, actually.
	When he says, hey, do you mind if I go off a teleprompter, continue to hoot and holler and say yes.
	Don't all get together in a single voice and go, no, stay on message.
	Cause you want to win this thing.
	Let him, let him, let him say the N word.
	He's going to do it.
	It's going to happen.
	If you just let it, it's gonna, it's coming.
	He wants to say it so bad.
	Let Trump be Trump, baby.
	That's how you win this election.
	Absolutely.
	Oh man.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And I'm sure he's been really repressing that urge in his private moments as he watches the DNC kick off, which is going to be our next headline for the week.
	So I don't know where Mike wants to start.
	Mike, where do you want to start talking about the DNC?
	Or as I have it written here, Dickhead's New Conspiracies.
	Because of course, all your stupid-ass Q-Folks are going to have some shit to say about, you know, Barry-o and Miko and M-O and, you know, Mike O'Malley and Moe.
	So I think we'll just start off with the fact that night two of the DNC ended with Kamala Harris and Tim Walz being chosen for the ticket as president and vice president of the Democratic Party and that this was a thing that QAnon had spent months or basically ever since Biden dropped out and endorsed Harris and then everyone rallied around the flag to Harris.
	Ever since that happened QAnon had been smugly chuckling in the corner going, oh, you think Harris is going to be the nominee?
	You stupid normie libs, you've got no idea what's in store for you.
	And they basically had concocted this bizarre theory that Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama, or both, they were both going to be on the ticket, were going to swoop in at the last minute and steal the nomination from Kamala Harris.
	I saw Our Boy Awakened Outlaw had an innumerate number of tweets about this.
	Our Boy Julian's Rum had a tweet saying Kamala's gonna get pulled.
	Book it.
	So that means we made the bet, me and you, Julian?
	So you gotta pay me now?
	That's how this is gonna work?
	Brian Cates, the guy that used to write for the Epoch Times, and back in those days would say that Q was bullshit.
	And then he got laid off from the Epoch Times, or he quit, or was fired.
	I don't know how he lost his job there.
	But at that point, he decided to get fully Q-pilled, and 100% believes that Q drops now.
	Absolutely not a cynical career move.
	No siree.
	No way, Bob.
	Brian Cates spent all this time screaming about, again, how Harris was going to be replaced, and then she wasn't.
	And now Brian Cates, like literally right before we started recording this, posted a tweet about how RFK Jr.
	dropping out and endorsing Trump was going to just send shockwaves through the race, and that by next week when the Democrats look at the polls, the real polls they get, not the fake polls they show us, when the real polls show them the devastation that RFK Jr.' 's endorsement of Trump has done, The Democrats will cast Harris and Walz to the wind, and Hillary Newsom will be the new ticket.
	And it's like, buddy, it's over.
	Stop trying to make Fetch happen.
	Fetch isn't going to happen.
	I mean, the energy of the DNC so far has really made it seem like everybody's bummed out with how things are going.
	Everyone's like, boo!
	We hate our ticket!
	Boo!
	This stinks!
	Boo!
	Oh wait, no, it's the opposite of that.
	I do like that there was more of the, like, uh crowd baking by people being like look it's empty because they got photos of it like before the event fucking started because it started late the first day and it's like actually packed to shit and last night or the night before they did this thing no it was last night it was last night yeah they did this thing where it was like after all the delegates cast their votes they cut to the rally that was happening 100 miles away with kamala and walls as she was coming on
	also packed and And it was just like, yeah, I guess you guys can cope that the rallies are actually empty even though they're packed to shit.
	Yeah.
	Then you got Barry O up there making subtle dick jokes about Trump, you know?
	Like, what a statesman, you know?
	So good at talking, so good at the real soft barb.
	You got Donald Trump just, I'm sure, seething about it.
	Just being like, who's this Muslim to talk about the size of my huge penis?
	It's the biggest penis.
	Yeah, that was basically that was what I saw a lot of people talking about was the fact that both Michelle Obama and Barack tore Trump a new asshole.
	Someone said, we are so close to Trump dropping the N-word.
	It's like the atomic clock, and now we're three seconds from midnight.
	It's like, we're just there.
	We're just there.
	Trump having to watch black people dunk on him over and over again is just gonna just drive him up a wall in a way that's not even imaginable.
	I believe in response to night one, He made a post on Truth Social about how Harris is ducking out on the September 4th debate, which is not true.
	There was never a September 4th debate.
	He made that up.
	And so he's trying to re-duck the real debate, was basically what he was doing.
	He was like, hey, because she said she's not going to show up for the 4th, I ain't showing up for the 10th, and MAGA, all that good stuff.
	Apparently Trump is now again trying to weasel his way out of debating Harris, which is great.
	Makes you look real strong, buddy.
	Can't wait to see that.
	So that was great.
	And the one thing that was funny was in the middle of last night's DNC, people were posting alerts of Trump frantically, repeatedly tweeting on Truth Social.
	But unfortunately, the actual thing was it was a Tuesday night during primary season.
	So a million people you've never heard of won their primaries.
	And Trump loves making it look like his endorsement carries just overwhelming weight.
	So he just posts a million things.
	And his truth social endorsement victory photos are so weird, because it's this picture of Trump kind of giving side-eye, and they kind of try to line it up so the other person is like where he's looking on the photo.
	And it's like, congratulations, guy you've never heard of, won his primary, unopposed, but my Trump endorsement got him over the top.
	And so we'll see what shit show temper tantrums he throws the next two days.
	Because of course, tomorrow's the big one where Walz and Harris give their acceptance speeches and rally America to kick Trump's ass.
	And he's gonna try to blunt that momentum with RFK Jr., which is gonna be great.
	So yeah.
	And Maybe he'll bring out Hulk Hogan to tear his shirt off again.
	That'd be great.
	Oh, did you see the Hulkster got into it even more this week?
	It was great.
	No.
	Oh, did he do a leg drop on somebody for Trump?
	No.
	After the fact, he blamed the alcohol.
	He blamed the fact that he had a few too many in him.
	But he was talking to a crowd somewhere, and he asked them if they wanted to see him body slam Kamala Harris.
	And then, uh, someone made a mention about him, her being an Indian to him.
	So he started doing the, like the whooping and like the smacking of his lips with his hands and shit.
	Oh my God, was he dancing around like Tatanga?
	You remember Tatanga?
	Oh yeah, the Tatanga dance, yeah.
	Because like, he didn't know that in this case, India actually meant India, not Native American.
	Yeah.
	So yeah, the Hulk draping himself in even more glory this week.
	Getting so close to relevance.
	I don't know the difference between those two places because I'm from Florida, brother.
	Exactly!
	It's all the same to me if it ain't the U.S.A.
	There's the U.S.A., there's Europe, there's China, and then there's Africa, and then I guess that's just about it.
	Those are the places.
	Oh, yeah, God.
	Yeah, so we had that going on.
	We had Matt Walsh wearing his dumb wig from Lady Ballers, creeping around the DNC, covered head to toe in Harris gear, like to be subtly stealth.
	I saw everybody talking about this guy, he's so funny.
	He was like in a Harris ghillie suit.
	She's like creeping around.
	Just being like that fucking Parks and Rec gif of being inconspicuous.
	This is so funny.
	But yeah, Matt Walsh was there.
	James O'Keefe was there in disguise.
	Um, and also, just Charlie Kirk is there credentialed, which is really interesting that he got credentialed there, because it's like, they, the Turning Point people, like, keep a lot of people out, uh, and you can't even, like, buy a ticket to some of their events, and he's there, like, trolling, cooking up conspiracies about how, like, To be fair though, I do think it's good.
	Kamala's husband is sticking his hand down the pants of his kid.
	Did you see that?
	That was another concern of mine.
	You didn't see them baking Kamala's stepdaughter?
	I saw her husband putting his arm around his daughter, but I didn't see that he was actually assaulting his daughter.
	I didn't see that.
	Yeah, his hand is on the chair in front of him, and they're like...
	Acting like it's down her pants?
	Yeah.
	A real nice credentialing that guy when other people did not get credentialed DNC.
	Good job.
	Oh yeah, Mike Lindell shaved off his mustache and is now going undercover at the DNC.
	He shaved his mustache today after promising.
	Is that real?
	Yeah.
	I got a photo of him right now of Mike Lindell sans mustache.
	Mike Rothschild says he looks like an off-brand Heisenberg.
	That's basically what he looks like.
	He's like the saddest Walter White you've ever looked at.
	It's shameful.
	I wouldn't be surprised if he was like, yeah, but the real question is, do I look different enough if I had to flee the country?
	Yes.
	I thought it was funny that Matt Walsh snuck in and was like doing the disguise and was immediately caught and then a bunch of right-wingers were like, it's Matt Walsh!
	It's Matt Walsh!
	And like sharing more things they saw of Matt Walsh.
	It's just like, man, that great job team really helping your guy keep hidden.
	World-class OPSEC.
	Just absolutely killing it.
	Yeah, yeah, they're they're such clowns what a bunch of clown but they Again, the big thing that was supposed to be happening here was the fact that the ticket was supposed to be flipped.
	Then the new conspiracy that happened for Monday was that Biden wasn't going to show up, and that if Biden did show up, he was going to be on a tight leash, and if he went off-prompter for even a second, they were going to hit Sleepy Joe with a tranquilizer dart and take him off the stage.
	And then Biden just got up there, did a really good speech.
	That was that.
	So all of their Biden conspiracies went by the wayside.
	Trump is, Trump's still pining for his lost love, Joe Biden.
	He's like on Truth Social screaming about how they made Biden speak late at night and on a Monday and it's so mean.
	Oh, Joe, please come back and debate me.
	Oh, I miss you so much.
	I don't want to.
	Love, Donnie.
	It's wild how Trump's lust for Joe Biden is unquenchable.
	to the raise i need you love donnie it's uh it's wild how uh trump's uh lust for joe biden is unquenchable he he misses his old punching bag and wishes he could have him back but um alas that's not to be uh Joe Biden got the fuck out of the race because, as he said at the DNC, the goal here is to beat you.
	That's it.
	That's the whole point of this thing is Donald Trump losing.
	Period.
	Full stop.
	That's it.
	Maybe they convinced Donald Trump to go away and somebody could just convince him that making Biden step down was like the real victory.
	It's like you did it.
	You did it.
	You fought as hard as anyone could ask, Mr. President, and you defeated sleepy Joe Biden.
	And now it's time for you to take your well-earned rest.
	No, no, no.
	Don't get up off the couch here at your own golf course.
	You need to continue to start your rest, your well-deserved rest.
	So any other sweet conspiracies coming out of the DNC?
	Or just how are you feeling coming out of the DNC?
	Has it been the fucking raucous second coming of the party ticket that we all needed?
	I don't care about pageantry stuff, but did we all see Lil Jon?
	Little John was cool.
	I enjoyed Little John.
	That was so fucking funny.
	That was, like, probably the funniest thing I've ever seen.
	I did not see Little John.
	Okay, you should definitely see the Little John entrance before he introduces, like... It was the Georgia delegates and they just bring Little John out and he just fucking goes crazy and...
	He actually remixed the Window to the Walls for Harris and Walls.
	It was great.
	I mean, that is a thing.
	It is a thing.
	I feel that way the way I feel about when Obama did, thanks, Obama.
	Because it's just like, okay, I guess that At a macro level, that's kind of cool.
	Where it's just like, oh, this thing got so big that it got to the person that is the apotheosis of it.
	So once they dial into it, it's like, oh, let's wrap on that, everybody.
	Let's, you know, shake hands going home.
	Right.
	That was my favorite thing, was the guy who did the Thanks Obama subreddit.
	Just was like, guys, he did it.
	It's over.
	Subreddit closed.
	We're not topping this.
	It's done.
	Yeah, it's like if Barack Obama got on there and was just like, we need to hawk to a spit on this country.
	I want her to go away so bad.
	Internet, please grant me this wish.
	I have that hot tootin' girl, please fuck off and never emerge again.
	Like, let her be low-level famous at whatever fair is closest to her city.
	Oh, God.
	Ah.
	I remember someone did a fake tweet of the Democrats back when Biden was in the race, and they were like, you've got to hock to a bowling place and vote on that thang.
	And when people brought up the fact that it was fake, they were like, ah, but Biden would do that.
	And it's just like, goddamn, wow, poor Joe Biden catching strays.
	Yeah, it's just like Joe Biden to make this weird sex reference.
	He does it all the time.
	Yeah, Joe Biden loves the fellatio, always talking about it.
	He keeps talking about how our country is snowballing out of control.
	We get it.
	We get it.
	Oh my god.
	For the listener, if you don't know what snowballing is, don't look it up.
	You don't need to know.
	If you don't know what it is, you are not ready for it.
	To quote that movie.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah, so far the first two days of the DNC have been fine.
	We'll see how... I mean, the thing that's so fun is that Harris has such an unbelievably low bar to clear, seeing as how Trump's acceptance speech at the RNC was absolutely the worst, like fucking one out of ten, no notes.
	So anything she does is going to seem so presidential and better by comparison, it's not even funny.
	So, and Walls is just miles better than Vance.
	So, I mean, there's no way the Democrats don't come out looking way better from their convention than the Republicans did from theirs, because the Vance pick just so sandbagged their convention.
	And then Trump was like, I know what'll turn this around.
	Hundreds of minutes of me talking about Hannibal Lecter and windmills.
	And America was like, no, Donnie, no!
	You just got shot at!
	Just give us a tight 40 talking about unity and how, like, almost catching that bullet, like, made you rethink things and will probably make you president again.
	And Trump was like, nah, nah, bro, I got this.
	Hannibal Lecter and windmills.
	Before I was facing Sleepy Joe Biden, and he was a terrible president, the worst president in the history of the country.
	Now I have to face Kamala.
	We have to do it all over again.
	And by the way, I'm much more attractive than her.
	She's such a dog, and I'm such a beautiful man.
	If people were just voting, if it was just a competition on good looks, I would win easily, because she's so hideous.
	And everyone's just like, talk about the economics!
	He's like, no!
	I'm only talking about how hot I am relative to Kamala Harris.
	I'm so hot.
	I'm so much hotter than her.
	And my crabs are bigger than hers.
	And you can all see it.
	It's so obvious.
	I'm way more fuckable than Kamala Harris, goddammit, admit it!
	Look at these titties!
	Trump is like the Queen Bee girl from high school who just got to her college campus thinking she was hot shit, and now she's like, ooh, I'm not hot shit.
	I have been caught lacking, unfortunately.
	I did technically vanquish my enemies in high school, but now that I am in the real world, I... oh, this is... I need to change everything about myself.
	Yeah, I thought I was a 10 in high school.
	Turns out I'm a six and a half in college.
	Oops, this is not so great.
	Yeah, uh... I just love the idea that he would be resorting to just being like, I, a man of nearly 80 years in age, am more attractive than my opponent.
	It's like, what sort of fucking... how delusional do you have to be to think that that's the play?
	Yes!
	Oh, God, yeah.
	As I'm probably going to say every week until the election happens, keep doing it.
	Sweetie, you're doing great.
	Keep going.
	Just keep doing what you're doing, Donnie.
	It's working out wonderful for you.
	Yeah, honestly, I mean, I love the campaign he's running.
	I think it totally rules.
	Uh, the speech he gave in Michigan, again, just no teleprompter.
	They give him a sheet of paper on a table and he just puts his head down and reads off the sheet.
	It's great optics, makes you look totally engaged, totally lucid, not Not low energy at all.
	We're all just in the inward or something equivalently misogynistic waiting room.
	I for one can't wait for Donald Trump to continue doing exactly what he's doing and continue to sink his own boat.
	Like, so much waterspout from God punishing you, the billionaire who got away with defrauding a bunch of people.
	Sorry.
	I mean, I guess I'm probably dating our show.
	But yeah, you would think the billionaires were going to stay away from the ocean, dude.
	Poseidon, he is not fucking around anymore with you fucks.
	He knows you've got treasure, but he doesn't understand how treasure works nowadays.
	So if he can continue to get you, he's gonna.
	And then he's gonna be pissed off when you sink to the bottom and you've got fucking nothing on you.
	So Arminus doesn't know what crypto is?
	Arjun doesn't know about that fucking diverse portfolio of Chinese real estate development?
	Are you kidding me?
	It's Poseidon!
	That dude has been underwater for a long time.
	He just wants gold.
	And you don't have any, so that kind of sucks.
	But he's still going to kill rich people in the hopes that one of them will have gold one of these days.
	And he's going to keep sending those fucking cool orcas to sink your yachts in the Mediterranean, too.
	Give the man his gold.
	Poseidon's made it pretty fucking clear.
	It's gold time.
	And no one's coughing up the goods.
	He's like, what the fuck is going on?
	I haven't had a shipwreck full of gold in like 120 years.
	Like, what the fuck is going on?
	The only ships that ever sink these days are just full of rich assholes that are broke.
	This one had like a chip on it that said a Dogecoin wallet.
	I don't even know what the fuck that means.
	Bring back the Make the Spanish Armada Great Again!
	Let's go!
	Come on!
	I just want, like, one of these missing folks' corpses to bob up to the water and it just says, like, send cash.
	Just, like, on it.
	Like a note, like, scrawled, like, ancient Greek.
	Yes.
	That'd be perfect.
	Alright, do we want to get into our mailbag segment for the week?
	That sounds like a plan.
	This is the sound of Thai marinated chicken with giving conversations and rice.
	I want the one with the legs, mom!
	Chicken with legs?
	Yes, the one with the legs.
	Then I'll cut it into two pieces, because this one is too big.
	Who has been to school today?
	Not me.
	You haven't been here?
	I haven't been to school.
	Yes, I've been there.
	What did you do there?
	Nothing.
	No, I didn't see.
	Lunch together, sounds good.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q&A.
	So, our first question is from Eric, the DeepSafe operative.
	This one's for me.
	You mentioned people coming into your work with some wild t-shirts.
	Is that a product of where you live or a place of your employment?
	I think it's casino culture.
	Like, I mean, it's always been the kind of thing where Casino people just wear whatever the fuck they feel like wearing.
	They're not trying to impress anybody.
	And some of them are just like people in their early 20s who are just like, yeah, whatever.
	I'm wearing this thing and I'm just like cool and hip and stuff.
	I mean, again, I got the guy wearing the I Am Knuff shirt.
	And also like casino people skew aggressively white and male.
	So I have a lot of Trump shirts.
	I've seen them.
	Do's Rock.
	bunch of people trying to get some juice out of the Trump assassination.
	I've seen a bunch of those shirts in there recently.
	And it's like.
	Oh, yeah.
	Dudes rock.
	Casinos are where people that watch NASCAR go when there's no NASCAR to watch.
	Yep, pretty much.
	Or at least that's the way they dress.
	And, well, for a while there, when poker was booming, it was like that.
	And then there was like 20% people that were there to like, oh, dude, you can tell that guy's a serious shark.
	He's got his hoodies, like, zipped all the way up.
	He's got his sunglasses on.
	He's got his headphones in.
	He's just, he's drinking Diet Coke only.
	Yeah.
	He's here to grind.
	Okay, buddy, calm down.
	Yeah, there was a Lays, I think it was a Lays chip commercial, and it begins with the girlfriend acting like she doesn't know how poker works, and every time they cut back to her, she's got more and more of the poker try-hard uniform on.
	The first time they cut back to her, she's got the sunglasses on.
	Then the second time, she's got the hoodie on.
	Then she's got the Beats headphone on over the top of that.
	It's just like, oh God, she's becoming a poker pro right before our very eyes!
	It's like now that's just like baby's first try-hard uniform.
	And also, for most of the people who were, like, tryharding during that era, you would, like, ask them, it's just like, oh shit, who's your favorite player?
	Like, two or one of them, they would almost certainly say Phil Ivey, Phil Hellmuth, or Daniel Negreanu.
	And, like, none of those guys dressed in that clown suit.
	Like, who was the one guy that did?
	Was it Phil Locke?
	Was that the guy that, like, actually dressed like the Unabomber sometimes?
	Yeah, Phil Locke was the Unabomber, he wore that.
	I mean, Hellmuth wears sunglasses now and then, I mean, that's... Yeah, but with a baseball cap or whatever, you know?
	Yeah, and that's fine.
	He might pop the collar of his windbreaker, but he's also up and storming around and talking shit.
	He's not the sit-there-and-be-cool-like-a-cucumber guy like the rest of these try-hards.
	Unless their answer was Phil Laak, it's like, why are you dressed like that?
	Right, yeah.
	That's the thing is that, like, that whole outfit is like your emotional support outfit.
	You're like, oh god, I'm playing poker, I gotta gear up.
	And I mean, I did that when I was a youngster.
	When I was in my 20s and I went to Foxwoods a few times, I wore sunglasses at the table.
	I mean, I had the prescriptions because my eyes had been dog shit for my whole life.
	But then after a while, you realize, dude, you're playing one to no limit.
	No one cares.
	No one's getting any sick reads off of you.
	Yeah, dude, switch over to whatever weird t-shirt you got kicking around, you know?
	Right.
	Is there like a band you like?
	Are you a fan of the Grateful Dead?
	Dude, do you want to wear your political opinions on your sleeve?
	Yes.
	Dude, do you think that Donald Trump looked really cool when he survived that assassination attempt that wasn't a deep state plant or whatever, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	So, yeah.
	I enjoy the poker triad outfit, and that's one of the fun things about being in a casino is that every now and then you'll just see the youngsters still wearing that shit.
	You're like, aw, it's your first time at a poker table in public.
	Are you adorable?
	You just pinch your little cheeks.
	And they're just getting mad because they're talking about fucking VPIP and all that good stuff.
	And it's like, oh, you know the lingo.
	I mean, to be fair, both those guys are probably better than me at poker because they are invested.
	Like the rare few times in my lifetime I will sit down at a poker table, I'm usually like pretty relaxed because I know that I'm not especially good at poker.
	So I anticipate losing the money I'm sitting down with.
	And if I don't, cool.
	But likely I will.
	Yeah.
	All I remember, my L poker experience I remember was when you and the tryhard at our home games in the ancient times both flopped an open-ended straight flush draw and you had the high end of it and he had the low end of it and you were betting each other and then he moved all in and then you just like were like I Don't know how I can possibly fold this.
	And you called.
	And then the guy was like, how can you fucking have that hand?
	It's the one hand that has me absolutely smothered.
	And I think you ended up winning with like eight high.
	It was like the funniest thing because he had two, he had three, four of diamonds and you had seven, eight of diamonds.
	And the flop was five, six of diamonds with an offsuit card.
	So you both had a straight flush draw.
	And it was just like, the guy was like, I'm drawing to a black 2 now, this sucks!
	Those were always like the worst hands too, because I hate crying calls, you know, or like, I hate where it's just like, oh my god, like all the math checks out, I gotta do it, but I still gonna feel really bad if I don't get there.
	Yeah.
	If I don't catch anything, I literally lose to one pair, but then it just turns out that you absolutely have him smothered.
	Yeah, once you turn over the cards, you're just like, oh shit, I'm crushing you!
	You're wrecked by my powerful aid!
	I dare you to defy my aid!
	Yeah.
	But yeah, I just think it's just the nature of casinos, just the nature of the people at casinos, that they're just like, yeah, fuck it.
	I'll just wear Black Cat showing her ass to Spider-Man or whatever.
	It's just the way people are in this joint.
	So thank you for the question.
	Cleodora Silvestri asks, if you were in charge of a fast food chain of your choice, which discontinued menu item from the past would you bring back again?
	That's a funny question.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	Surprisingly enough, I don't really have anything locked and loaded for this.
	I feel like I should.
	You know what?
	I actually was talking recently with a buddy about how we were just like... Remember when McDonald's had their premium chicken tenders?
	And then they just got rid of them after a few years?
	For whatever reason, probably just because of brain rot and nostalgia nonsense, me and one of my buddies were waxing pretty fondly about McDonald's premium chicken tenders.
	The other day.
	So I guess by default that one wins because it is the one that I was opining most recently.
	Yeah, I think I would say that I want the McDonald's grilled chicken back.
	Or the McDonald's had the, they didn't have the breakfast burritos, they had their like standard burrito.
	I enjoyed the regular McDonald's burrito.
	But also, the reason why I enjoyed the grilled chicken so much was because back when I worked at McDonald's, that was our secret delicacy, because we would make a grilled chicken before our break and put Big Mac sauce on it and lettuce, and that was just delicious.
	And then, I don't know if it was COVID or right before COVID, but McDonald's was just like, yeah, we're just gonna do crispy chickens from now on.
	Grilled chicken, pound sand.
	And I was like, no!
	Now I have to go to Chick-fil-A for grilled chicken and they're monsters.
	I don't want that.
	I want my corporate evil slightly less evil.
	Come on McDonald's, help me out.
	So yeah, I guess I'd want the grilled chicken back.
	Or the McBLT, just so I can throw a ton of styrofoam into the landfills and kill the planet.
	Hot sides hot, cold sides cold.
	I'm actually going to change my answer.
	I'm going to force Wendy's to bring back the pasta bar.
	Remember the Wendy's pasta bar?
	Oh, yeah.
	Dude, that used to be so gas.
	If you wanted some, like, al dente-ass noodles with some fucking cheese whiz on them, boy howdy, the Wendy's pasta bar had you served up.
	All you can eat, if I recall.
	That I don't remember.
	Wow.
	Come on, guys.
	Get with it.
	Anyway, sorry.
	I can't think of anything really but I do remember Costco had some pretty good chicken just like frozen chicken that was pre-cooked that you could get in a bag that I used to eat pretty religiously like in my early
	Uh 20s and you know right out of high school and uh they discontinued it and it's like come on man that was like over a week's worth of food for like eight bucks and it was pretty good and they got rid of it so I would Costco suffers from the problem though is that too much of their shit rotates out um so yeah that was one of the things so I would bring back that chicken I don't know what it was called but it was good
	That's my answer.
	Two quick addendums for me.
	One, honorable mention, how about Pizza Hut pizza that doesn't suck?
	Growing up, Pizza Hut Pizza was actually pretty nice, because you had to go to Pizza Hut to get it.
	It was like a sit-down restaurant.
	And I remember being like five years old, having to go and sit down at Pizza Hut, and they would bring you your Land Before Time hand puppet, and you would drink your fucking Pepsi Cola, and they would serve you delicious pizza.
	And that was the way it should be, because that pizza was actually pretty good.
	And then, also, locally to where we were, when I was like a broke college-age kid, The KFC near us, and only the KFC near us, have like a Tuesday special.
	It was like a $2 Tuesday thing.
	And it was a drumstick, a thigh, a scoop of mashed potatoes with some gravy on it, and a biscuit for $2.
	And me and a bunch of my friends were splitting a townhouse, and we were like living five people in that house.
	So on Tuesdays, sometimes we would go there, we would just be like, ah yes!
	Uh, excuse me, my fine fellows at the Kentucky Fried Chicken.
	Uh, yes, can I get 15 of your $2 meal deals, please?
	And then just bring the bounty back home, and then for the next, like, two or three days, everyone in the house was eating KFC for every meal.
	The house smelled like KFC.
	It was crazy.
	Uh, does Orange Julius still exist?
	Because if not, then I want the Orange Julius back.
	I've always enjoyed that.
	I think they got fused with a different company, but I can't remember which one.
	They're like a subsidiary of, like, some frozen yogurt chain or something now.
	Dairy Queen?
	Maybe Jamba Juice.
	I don't think it's Dairy Queen.
	Jamba Juice became Jamba, which I thought was a funny reborn.
	They didn't just go to juice.
	So thank you for the question.
	Steph says, I've been reading Mirage Men.
	It appears that the government created the UFO myth.
	Some of those who knew it was an op ended up being former true believers.
	We see lots of former government guys go in this rabbit hole, a.k.a.
	Steve Pchenik.
	Can you comment on this phenomenon?
	I'll have to look into Mirage Men.
	I don't know.
	I'm not sure about the whole government created thing because a lot of people say a lot of things about the government doing stuff like that.
	Like the claim that the government created the term conspiracy theorist to discredit conspiracy theorists about the Kennedy assassination.
	But then you look into it and the term conspiracy theory was around for a long time before the Kennedy assassination.
	So that wasn't the case.
	I don't know.
	I'm not deep on the UFOs.
	I mean that's just a branch of Illuminati stuff that I never really got into because when you go down that road you start leaving reality and you start going into like just full-on LARP where it's like the Pleiadians are fighting the Greys and they're also battling these other... Yes!
	Yes!
	Also, if this is like a phenomenon of people kind of losing touch of reality in this field, it's probably because, you know, you can only take so much of this bullshit before you start to lose a little bit of sense of what's real and what's not.
	But, again, I don't know.
	Interesting book, Stephanie.
	Shout out, Stephanie.
	Yeah, I mean, I'm sure that book is cool as fuck.
	I don't know if there's credible evidence that the whole UFO stuff was an op, then so be it.
	Like, you know, I'm one of those people that, like, I want to believe, and rationally it's just like, yeah, obviously there's intelligent life somewhere in the universe outside of us.
	It would be fucking crazy hubris for us to think we're the only ones, but come on, man.
	Like, do we really think that they're out here, like, This is not going to stop so they can play with our buttholes or whatever.
	Do we think that somehow the United States government has had access to anti-gravity UFO technology for 80 years and they haven't used it to dominate the world or whatever?
	Like, you know.
	Like make a single extra buck.
	Right.
	And some people are just like, how do you explain, like, you know, dude, it's your cell phone, man.
	That's where the tech for that came from.
	They just filter it through Silicon Valley or whatever.
	And it's just like, really?
	80 years, UFO, and I have a cell phone to show for it?
	I don't have a flying car.
	We don't have clean energy.
	We don't have a way to defend ourselves from a Russian nuclear strike.
	So we have to live in fear of pooping our pampers over the fact that they might launch a nuke at us.
	Yeah.
	They're just like, we've got the UFO in the basement or whatever, but we don't know what it does.
	So we just kind of let it hang out down there.
	They fucking tarp over it.
	And they're just like, yeah, whatever.
	It's made of minerals that don't exist on Earth.
	What do you want to do?
	And it's just like, OK, well, then just tell us.
	Just be like, hey, yeah, this thing showed up.
	It was wild, but it's made of shit that we don't have on Earth.
	So, you know, who cares?
	Like all the more reason for you to believe in Jesus Christ, because there are whole civilizations out there we need to introduce them to.
	You know, those people might not know about the Lord.
	So get your Bibles out.
	Yeah, missionaries going through the wormhole to convert other planets to Christ.
	I mean, so great.
	And then you have all these people who swear to God they've seen it.
	The underground lab with the secret stealth bomber that's powered by anti-gravity technology.
	It's like, okay, cool.
	So what's the government doing with it exactly?
	Like, it's excellent.
	It's invisible to all.
	It's like, it's literally invisible, first of all.
	And it's also invisible to all manner of technology.
	It's completely silent.
	It's anti-gravity.
	Ooh, boy, how do you believe all the alien technology that's in this thing?
	It's like, okay, cool.
	So what are we doing with that?
	They're just like, well, when I saw it, it was just like hovering in a warehouse.
	All right, sick.
	Fuck, it's so good, then.
	Hey, come back to me when you got something.
	I saw this crazy thing.
	What was it doing?
	Just kind of hanging out.
	It was just sitting there.
	Wild.
	Come back when you've got something a little more zesty, you know?
	A little more panache that it was hovering, though.
	I swear to God.
	SubZeroShirtArt asks, what applause line or punchline of the Democratic National Convention caused the biggest stir amongst the Qt community or triggered them the worst?
	Ah, the Obama dick joke.
	They're furious over it.
	That just got them.
	And AOC's entire existence, because they're so scared of her being relevant.
	They hate how young and attractive she is.
	They hate her for being young and attractive so much, like, they just can't, they can't wrap their heads around it.
	They're just like, why is she so young and attractive and passionate about progressivism?
	That's so crazy.
	So they try to attack her, but they don't really have anything on her.
	No.
	That'd be great, because like, I'm just imagining now Trump just being like, I'm more beautiful than Kamala Harris, but not AOC.
	She's definitely more beautiful than I am.
	Trump would just be the biggest sad boy ever in that situation.
	Yeah, so it was mostly what you expect, basically.
	I just feel that because they have a feral hatred, and they call everything socialism, so the fact that AOC rose up the ranks as a Democrat Socialist, that just absolutely drives them out of their minds.
	And as Elle said, because she's young and attractive, Like, every three months or so, someone in QAnon tries to come up with an AOC white hat strategy.
	To make the fact that they jerk off to her somehow acceptable.
	They're like, oh, it's it's OK that it's OK that I crank it to AOC because she's secretly on our side.
	And it's like, no, it's OK, buddy.
	The forbidden fruit's the sweetest.
	I get it.
	It's OK.
	You can just be a weird, creepy political loser who's obsessed with AOC.
	And you have to just acknowledge that she wants to give you health care, which makes her bad in your eyes because you're a dumb weirdo who's all messed up in the head.
	But for everybody in the country to have a healthcare mic, I would have to play slightly more.
	Totally unacceptable.
	And my rich friends would have to pay significantly more, percentage-wise.
	And that's unacceptable.
	How can we ever let the rich pay anymore?
	How?
	They need to be rewarded for having obtained their wealth by no longer needing to spend more than everyone else.
	Right.
	They have hit the trajectory where their wealth is perpetual and infinite, and they are enshrined with it upon their death.
	Unless they're out to sea, which pisses off Poseidon sometimes.
	Get him!
	Get him, Poseidon!
	Rip him!
	And our final question in the mailbag is... My friend bought an MTG booster box and I think I'm hooked.
	I have zero MTG knowledge.
	The white life cards seem cool to build a deck with.
	What should I know about those?
	What are your favorite decks slash cards ways to play?
	L!
	Take it away!
	For you, new player, who is what we in the business would call casual, I highly recommend the format Commander.
	The burden, if you go online and you start looking up stuff all willy-nilly, Uh, you're gonna be like, my god, Commander is very expensive.
	And the short answer is yes, all magic is very expensive.
	And yes, Commander can be very expensive, but it is also by far the most popular and the most casual way to play magic.
	If there is a store close to you that is serious about magic, like that has like a player base and hosts the Friday Night Magic events, there's a pretty high likelihood that they have a commander playgroup.
	And commander playgroups tend to be pretty inviting and enthusiastic about getting new people into the game.
	So if you are capable of like in-person socializing to like that degree and like just kind of like
	Connecting with some strangers and being like, hey, I want to play this game But I need you to teach me the ropes and someone I trust for whatever reason Told me that Commander is the way I should look into it But that is like honestly the answer you're looking for like you can play the game for free digitally by downloading their client Magic the Gathering Arena and that will like give you a tutorial on the mechanics of the game and how to start playing the game and even let you dip your toes into some more competitive stuff and
	But I do think, and this pains my cold black heart to say, because I'm an old head when it comes to magic, and the game has morphed into something that has kind of like left me behind.
	But as a new player, as bitter a pill as it is to swallow, the best thing for you to do is to try to find a commander, play group, and learn how to play commander.
	Yeah, that sounds right.
	That's basically... I weirdly had an MTG conversation with someone a week ago, and Commander came up as being the be-all, end-all kind of of the game right now.
	Like, that's where the community's at, and that's where the fun is.
	And I was like, yep, sounds cool to me.
	Me and L were, like, hardcore tournament-playing, grind-it-out, net-decking maniacs back in the days before Man Stole Fire from the Gods.
	Yeah, like drafting until like 4 a.m.
	or whatever at the store.
	Yeah, 3v3, 2v2 money drafts, all that good stuff, yeah.
	Yeah, honestly, and you know Commander is cool because it lets you sort of have like your, because for the uninitiated, especially the person just getting into the game, like in Commander you choose one of the legendary creatures in Magic, and then they sort of represent like your commander on the battlefield, so you always have access to them, but you have to build your deck kind of around them to make it worth Oh snap!
	So it's a way for you to just be like, if you're specifically just like, oh, snap, I like these cards that gain life.
	There's a bunch of different legendary creatures that play well with life gain, and then you can build your commander deck around those commanders.
	And that's why it can get expensive, because inevitably some of those commanders get more popular than others, and there's only so much supply to meet the demand, and yada, yada, yada.
	But yeah, try to find a commander playgroup, and if it goes well, let us know.
	That would be great.
	It would be awesome to find out that somebody wanted to pick up magic and ended up getting into the game, because we suggest that they find some commander players.
	I mean, again, it would make me feel bad as a Curmrudgin, but good as just like a general, you know, citizen of the world, I guess.
	And that brings us to our final question, which is, as always, what are you guys looking forward to?
	Uh, Baldur's Gate 3, honestly.
	Uh, so there's Baldur's Gate 3's big expansion, or, well, like, last free, uh, big patch expansion is coming out in September.
	They're gonna add the official mod tools and, like, the mod interface to the base game or whatever, but, uh, My buddies and I have the itch and we need to kick the rust off before we start hitting the modded stuff hard.
	So I think we're going to jump in and just play into like yet another honor mode playthrough.
	And after I'm done podcasting with you folks, I'm going to do a little research to find out what class I want to play.
	I don't know.
	It's going to be fun.
	Haley, what are you up to?
	I guess I'm just looking forward to taking a nap, which I think I said last week, but like we're recording later today and it's all I can think about.
	I'm just kind of like, can't wait to nap.
	Go off, nap queen.
	Haley's like, you don't understand those extra three hours I had to wait.
	I am so plum tuckered out.
	What the media said about Joe Biden is true about me.
	When I talked to you, I was like, You guys getting on now?
	Because if you were like, no, not yet, I was going to just, like, sleep in this chair for a minute.
	Honestly, part of the reason why I immediately said yes when my buddies asked if I wanted to start playing a new Baldur's Gate campaign tonight, they were just like, oh, we can't get together and start until about 9.15.
	And I was like, perfect.
	I was just complaining about how I need to start, like, like how I need an excuse to stay up past 9pm.
	Here we go.
	Perfect.
	Like, the thing I want to do doesn't even start until after 9pm.
	So I'm definitely going to be awake until at least 11.
	Mike, what are you looking forward to?
	I'm looking forward to just, right now, football mostly.
	The fact that we're getting perilously close to the actual season starting, which means fantasy football, all that kind of nonsense.
	I'm trying to obtain people to maybe do a football podcast.
	So, all kinds of stuff like that.
	The football season is always a big thing for me.
	Oh yeah?
	Who are you courting for a co-host for a football podcast?
	That'd be interesting.
	Well, the idea of the football pod was I want to have a bunch of... I want ladies to talk to me about football, because every podcast is just a bunch of dudes, and they're all saying the same dude shit.
	I have a friend from I have a friend from Connecticut who's a big Buffalo Bills fan.
	And I have one co worker who we did an office pool.
	And there's like, I don't know 150 200 people in this office pool and they give out money to the top 10 and she finished fourth just by literally flipping a coin every week.
	So she exists just to kind of, like, puncture all of our, like, heart-hitting analysis and, oh, I'm working so hard to figure out who's going to win.
	She just moves our vibes.
	She's vibe-y-lease.
	Right.
	She's just vibe-y-lease and she's just getting there.
	Like, I mean...
	I've never done great in that office pool before, but last year I finished 7th.
	So it was all my hard work and dedication and I still came up way short compared to Vibulee's.
	I just got totally wrecked by her.
	And then another coworker of mine, she is a Patriots fan and she likes the Cincinnati Bengals.
	And so I was like, you can talk about the Bengals because if we talk about the Patriots, no one's going to care.
	Everyone's going to kick dirt on them because after their 20 years of unending dominance, they are now perhaps the worst team in the NFL.
	And that's just sad to listen to.
	I bet it sticks in people's craw that Patriots fans don't really seem to give that much of a fuck.
	You would be foolish to think that after so many years of sustained excellence that Patriots fans would become incredibly bitter once their team fell off a cliff and there's essentially no light at the end of the tunnel for a while.
	But no, it turns out that we became so numb to success that now we're just like, oh, okay.
	Yeah, exactly!
	Yeah, we had a run.
	Yeah, you know, we did pretty good for a while.
	So, you know, I feel like it's somebody else's turn for a while, you know?
	It'd be good to have some shine on another team.
	It's good for the, it's good for the, it's good for the league.
	It's good for the individual franchises of the cities they're from.
	And I'm sure people are just like, no!
	You're supposed to be furious!
	Tom Brady left!
	And we're just like, yeah, well, you know, we got six sprigs with him.
	And that's, you know, like, even if he did get the other one, that's still the record.
	No, you're supposed to suffer now!
	And it's like, yeah, not really.
	I'm okay with it.
	I mean, yeah, we would prefer if the Patriots didn't suck, but you know, especially if you're a fan, especially if you're just like from Boston, like y'all are in Championship City.
	So it's just like, you know, it's just like, oh, how do you guys cope with the Patriots being bad?
	It's just like, I don't know.
	One of our teams is always like in contention for if not the world champion.
	Right.
	How do you deal with the Patriots being bad?
	Oh, the Celtics just won the NBA title.
	That's how I deal with it.
	I like basketball now.
	Must be freakin' nice.
	We love fair weather fanhood here.
	Good on ya.
	With that, it's going to be the end of our episode for the week.
	It's time for us to do a 20.
	It's gadoo!
	Out of hell, well, for the week.
	Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show.
	If you'd like to support the show harder, but still for free, you can give us a 5-star review of where you're getting your show from.
	If you have money and you want to donate it to the cause, you can do so by visiting us on our Patreon, patreon.com slash pokerpolitics.
	$5 or more per month gets you access to all of our bonus content, past, present, and future.
	Thank you so much to all of the beautiful babies who are already up in that crib.
	If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we understand.
	Tons of good ways to do good with it in the world.
	The one we've always suggested is love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of trial trafficking and exploitation.
	Thanks as always to DJ Metalma Effort for our original theme song, accidentally remixed by Mike Raines into what you heard at the top of the show.
	Thanks to our buddy Frosty for all of our voiceover work, including all of our bumps.
	You can find Frosty on BlueSky at FrostyVO.
	You can find the show that you're listening to, that's right, The Adventures of Hellworld, on Twitter at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. I am there as well at HellworldFatty, spelled the same acute way.
	You can find Haley on various social media at AZRW, or Arizona Right Watch, and Mike Rains on social media, of course, at PokerPolitics.
	So, for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hell World Podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L. Joined as always by our expert in all things Arizona Crazy, Hayley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon Crazy, Mike Rains, aka Poker and Politics.
	Good speed, patriots!
	Hey, Sharanabu!
	How's it going in the farmhouse?
	It's a mess.
	Yeah, it's pretty messy here.
	Hey, do you have... Clementines?
	No, I don't have that.
	But I'm considering planting next year.
	You should.
	We have everything on the dinner plate, in the lunch box, at the gym.
	It's actually really good with pizza too.
	Oh, I have to try that.
	Yes, now there is a membership coupon at Extra on, perhaps not so surprising, Clementiner, which you get for only NOK 24 per kilo.

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