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Aug. 8, 2024 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:33:39
Adventures In HellwQrld Episode #201: From The Window To The Walz

This week we cover RFK killing a bear. Tim Walz is our boring white dude to be Veep under President Harris and Trump and Elon are the standard issue morons we always knew them to be. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Thank you.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in-depth about QAnon.
While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rands, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch.
Hello, everybody.
Another normal week ahead of us.
The normalest one might go so far as to say.
I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle.
Hello, my beautiful babies.
I love Frosty's new bump, but it's wrong.
We never talk about QAnon because they're dead.
Because they're dead.
They're dead.
They don't do anything.
It just seeped into the mainstream Republican mind, the disinformation, the misinformation.
And now every time an event happens, we have to see just exactly what type of fantasy the right wing is going to cook up in terms of reality.
Yeah, the conservatives made us to integrate all the important parts and rig all the fun out of it, unsurprisingly.
QAnon's dead, long live just horrible Republicans.
Yeah, I call it what we have right now, MAGA-anon, because it's basically what QAnon was, just without the QDrops, without the super secret spy saving the world, and all that kind of bullshit.
To me, I had a tweet about this this week where we're going to talk about it in the bush about Trump's Twitter meltdown, but he's calling Kamala, he's putting a B in her name.
It's like Kamablah or something.
I don't even understand it.
It's like fucking incoherent.
And I thought for sure all those nuts that I follow online would be baking the shit out of this extra bee that Trump keeps putting into her name.
And they're just not.
They're not trying to decode it.
They're not trying to unravel the secret clue that Trump's giving them.
That was just like, man, I guess the juice in baking is gone.
I guess the whole fun of trying to solve the secret message Trump's trying to send you, it just isn't a part of their mythos anymore.
They're just, it's just orange man good all day, every day.
I just want to say, I know it's a little politics heavy in the beginning, but like, I feel like in general, the whole movement, the whole MAGA movement just feels a little bit It's, it's kind of petering out in terms of like just energy.
Um, like because, uh, you know, I've just been, I've been to a lot of Trump rallies.
There was a lot of energy at like early Trump rallies.
That JD Vance rally this last week was the saddest shit I'd ever seen in my life.
And that guy has no charisma and nobody had any energy.
Nobody was dressing up.
Imagine how fucking on the ropes they would see him if not for that failed attempt.
You know, that gives it a lot of like artificial heat.
So, you know what?
I'm putting the tinfoil hat on, you know?
It was an op.
Ops all around.
Everything's an op.
Kamabla the operative.
Kamablerative!
I'm saying it now!
Brick Road was just a paid asset this whole time.
Once the checks stop clearing, he'll stop showing up to everything, you know?
Or not Brick Road, what's his name?
Brick Suit.
Yeah, Brick Suit.
Who the fuck is Bricksuit?
It's a Hispanic guy, right?
But it's a guy.
He literally wears a suit that looks like bricks.
And he's always in the background of all Trump's rallies because he wants Trump to build the wall.
And he's got a photo with Trump.
He's done the whole thing.
There's still people out there stepping for a wall?
Yes.
Trump had all the opportunity in the world to build a wall.
He got some amount of ineffectual wall, you know?
Like he did build some wall that was circumvented easily by... Roman Blake Bornell.
I've seen him probably over a dozen times because he goes to every Carrie Lake rally and every Trump rally.
Of course he does.
That's one of the things that always makes me laugh when people are talking about the overwhelming power of the Trump rally.
It's like saying the overwhelming power of a Grateful Dead concert.
You do realize it's the same people everywhere.
They just follow them.
It's not like Trump is going to your town and your town has this upswell of support as the locals rush to the Trump rally because he's so magnetic and he's so awesome.
There's a reason why I think he is, Travis Scott.
You're talking about somebody with actual crowd pull?
My god.
Going to a Travis Scott concert is like going to Thunderdome.
You're not actually sure if you're getting out of that thing.
Like, there's a reason why Vincent Fusco was in the background when Trump got shot at, because he's just always there.
He's part of the furniture.
They were all there, and then they were at the next rally, and then they were all at the RNC.
Right, right, exactly.
Perfect exactly of our podcast.
I'm talking about Travis Scott, you're talking about Vincent Fusco.
Don't even know who that is.
In fact, my favorite thing about his name is that it rhymes with Cusco, and I know that guy.
Uh, he's, uh, the guy I'm talking about is this really ugly dude who claims to be JFK Jr.
and apparently gets laid from it.
It's like the, it's the weirdest, like, pickup artist drift in the history of the universe.
He's always at these Trump rallies with, like, hot women, like, hanging out with him, throwing up the peace sign and stuff.
I just can't imagine someone being like, hey baby, I'm JFK Jr.
And they're like, oh god, take me now, you stud!
It's like, what is going on here?
What is happening?
The guy I was talking about is one of the most successful musicians on the planet.
Oh yeah, and wasn't he a part of that incident where some people got killed in the crowd and it was a whole to-do?
Oh yeah, that was his thing, the Astroworld.
I don't really like him that much, but every time I see footage from his fucking shows, again, it's like, why is the entire population here?
What's going on?
Why does everybody seem like they love going to Travis Scott shows the most?
No one I know talks about that guy.
He's just got the pull.
You hear about a Travis Scott concert and you're like, man, this could be the last day of my life.
It's time to live large, baby.
Yeah, I'd love to stand shoulder-to-shoulder a quarter mile away from where that guy's performing because that's how those shows go.
You'll see drone footage and you're just like, what are these people doing?
They're like six blocks away.
They're like six blocks away and still shoulder-to-shoulder with other groupers screaming their head off because they can hear in the distance the dulting of fucking Travis Scott music.
It's like, okay, I guess.
I mean, I don't know.
I've never been that sort of show-goer.
I want to go to a place with like a small occupancy and be close to people while they're shredding their shit.
While they're lighting their saxophones on fire, or whatever.
Shout out to that King's of Nothin' show.
Like, once a year, and that's my concert.
And it's like 200 people, because nobody gives a fuck.
That's my energy.
I can't.
Who was it again?
Me First to the Gimme Gimmes, you bugger!
I didn't hear it.
I'm sorry.
You boomer!
Dude, you might know they're from such covers as All of Them.
All of Them.
Because that was their whole shtick, right?
Did they do original music?
I also liked it back in the day.
It was very charming.
I listened to a lot of Me First to the Gimme Gimmes with my pals.
Like, I never owned their albums, but a bunch of my pals did, so it was just always on.
They just put out a Quinceañera album and that is so like me coded.
It's very funny.
They do a lot of songs in Spanish and it's just very it's a good album.
It's a good punk album.
I like them and they put on a good show.
They're goofy and they put on costumes and they perform with fun people and it's never a bad time and it's not packed with 300 million people.
Yeah, one of my favorite deep cut old bands is getting together with their original lineup for the first time in like 25 years or whatever for a show that I kind of want to go to, but I need to drag my old ass out to a regular show.
But I have to imagine the crowd is going to be a bunch of old fucks like me and we're all going to be there rolling on Advil and fucking vape pens.
Because I can't imagine too many youngins are like, finding out slash listening to Soul Coughing on the regular.
That was like, the only reason I found out about them was there's a cartoon network in like fucking 1999, so.
Oh yeah, I had my brief interaction with Soul Coughing.
I know of Super Blonde Blonde and all that good stuff.
Yeah, that was actually sort of late into their shit, but that is a good single.
One of my old buddies referred to their album, El Oso, as what he would imagine heroin sounds like.
I was just like, that's a pretty intense way to describe a thing.
Alright, do we want to move on to our Amooziebooshie?
Sounds reasonable.
Let's do that.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
The amuse-bouche!
Okay, amuse-bouche topic number one.
Apparently some sort of Nazi has failed in their campaign.
To ascend to greater Nazi-hood, or whatever.
For more details, I will of course turn it over to everyone's favorite Nazi watchers, Mike Rains and Hayley.
Who wants to take this one?
Who's this Nazi?
It's our buddy Valentina Gomez who was the one who was talking about how you don't want to be weak and gay.
Weak and gay is so good.
And after the boxing kerfuffle in the Olympics she was on Twitter Spamming the F-word against gay people left and right and screaming and yelling about trans people and all that good stuff.
Oh, is that the same lady?
Yes.
I was about to make a crack about how recently it seems like calling someone weak and gay wasn't getting the people going enough, so they just started using the F-slur.
They were just like, alright, apparently calling them weak and gay wasn't enough, so guess what?
I'm here on this video to tell you that I do not like F-slur.
F-slurs are the worst.
And it's just like, oh my god, what?
Yeah, so she was quote-unquote running for Missouri Secretary of State.
In reality, she's running to just try to get attention for herself so she can get on The Blaze or Turning Point USA or some other right-wing grift job.
She wants to hold a microphone with her tits out for One America News.
Yes!
That's pretty much the goal.
That's the dream.
Yep.
I'm Valentina Gomez.
Here are my perky tits on One America News.
Boom.
Yeah, that's... I'm Valentina Gomez's breasts here with Valentina Gomez.
And she came in a rock-solid sixth out of however many people were running.
Yeah, not great, not great.
So yeah, she got ruffle-stomped because, again, her campaign wasn't actually about getting voters.
It was about getting attention for her on the internet so that she can smoothly transition to whatever grift gig she's going to be working for.
Just do OnlyFans.
Cut out the middleman.
Cut out the middlemans.
Just do OnlyFans, you know?
Come on.
If all you want to do is be attention-seeking and get paid for it, OnlyFans lets you do that from the comfort of your own home.
I think the racist thing is the fetish.
There seems to be like you know how there's like a obviously the tradwife kind of phenomenon which doesn't necessarily always they don't necessarily always present as racist even though there are a lot that do and a lot of it is preaching like some pretty yikes stuff.
I follow so many tradwives Can I ask you a question?
Did they ever... Sorry, I forgot to allow you to consent to the question before I just about... Hit me.
...jump in there with it.
Well, that's a funny way of phrasing that, because, like, do these trad wives ever address the fact that, like, they're gonna get hit, like, by the people that they're attracting?
Like, they're gonna attract, like, cops who are probably gonna want to box them, like... They never address this.
It is a fantasy.
They just ignore that that's part of their, like, weird... Okay, so it's pure fantasy for them?
It's fantasy being curated for the timeline.
A lot of these women aren't even, you know, they sell this like, you know, I'm staying at home and just being a trad wife even though the business is being the trad wife.
It's like they are I've never watched one of those videos outside of the few seconds worth of soundbites I need to be caught up on events because they never pass with a vibe check.
Even for watching a car crash, watching because you know something terrible is going to happen.
Say something insane.
Like, I don't know, they just always come across as so icky.
Like, it does come across as 20% fetish stuff, but I'm just like, I don't want no part of this, dude.
Like, what is going on with this?
And then I think the next level beyond that, because there is like this kind of so-called alt-right pipeline through the tradwife sphere, and you see like the more Gomez types and like Isabella Riley and then N-Word Girl kind of like breach that, like, I'm just going to be fully neo-Nazi about this and kind of cater to like, yeah, like,
Guys that like to hear women actually drop the n-word and be like actual fascists like me.
It does feel a little bit similarly in the same sphere of like the kind of trad wife kind of semi-fetish thing.
Oh my gosh.
Trad ladies, come on.
You know, like we moved away from that stuff.
If anyone has ever taught trad wives, I'm kind of obsessed with all of them.
There you go.
I mean, at the end of the show, we will give you Haley's social media information, so stick around for that if you want to talk more Treadwife, I guess.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
Like, we moved away from that stuff for a reason, you know?
A variety of reasons.
Have you not heard of the Ballerina Farms drama?
No.
Okay, because that kind of seeped into the mainstream, like it actually hit nuclear, and I've actually seen like Ballerina Farms t-shirts now at the thrift store since that kind of drama broke out, and it's TradWife related, so I was just curious.
No, the closest thing to that I think I've probably seen this past week is a bunch of videos using that Look smacking, mewing app to just point at somebody's face and make them look like sexy squidward and it makes me laugh every time.
Actually, the Ballerina Farms drama, even though you're not familiar, it was kind of like a normal outlet.
I went and interviewed this, like, very, very popular trad wife.
And, like, yeah, it was kind of, like, apparent that, like, her husband is very controlling and, like, forces her to have all these kids without epidurals.
And it's just, like, a nightmare kind of situation.
But, dude, it's exactly what she wanted.
Trad, bro.
Trad.
Dude, she's putting the trad, trad wife.
Good for her.
Good for her, and I bet her situation is great, and I'm sure she loves it.
Uh, yeah.
Exactly.
That's the thing.
Like, you know, like, how much empathy am I supposed to have for that?
That's what they're opting in for.
You know?
Like, that's what they want.
Like, they're just like, man, we liked it when we used to be kept, like, birds in cages, and if we did, if we stepped out of line behind closed doors, we would just get roughed up real bad by our husbands.
And sometimes, even if we didn't step out of line, just for being there, they were like, It's like, that's... yikes.
Hell no.
You know?
Like, allow women to have the same amount of freedom as everybody else?
You dumb fucks.
And if they want to stay home and, like, do the childbearing thing or whatever, like, let them.
But... I don't know.
Like, talking shit like that's... like, we got away from something super sacred by allowing people to have freedom is insane.
And those women are obviously just horny in a weird way.
That's one of the ways in which I am probably the least liberal.
Is that, like, I still find many fetishes weird.
And I'm happy to say it, you know?
I'm not gonna swallow that shit.
I'm just like, your fetish is weird.
I don't care if it gets you wet or hard.
Bizarre.
Anyway.
I think a lot of people are kind of indoctrinated into the religions that they were in.
So it's like, in some cases, a lot of them are LDS, Mormon.
And it's just like, yeah, that's kind of the result of growing up in a cult.
I hate LDS, because it certainly, it does like, if you put enough steak on it, it certainly sounds like some sort of weird sex term.
Like, like, yo, I met this girl, she was LDS, dude.
It's like, oh shit!
Dabbing each other up!
Anyway, okay, let's move on to talk about our old pal Elon Musk.
He's back in the news, because he craves that.
It's like, I think he craves the most, he's willing to spend an unlimited amount of money to get there.
So, his recent bid to spend a bunch of money to get himself in the news is he's decided to sue advertisers!
All of them!
Fuck them!
Like, I demand you advertise for me, like, on my platform!
I bought this and you have to advertise here!
Which is incredible.
I'm sure he's got an incredible legal argument for this.
So, Mike, let's talk about Elon Musk suing this shady cabal of advertisers, also just known as a group.
I mean, they are shady cabal, but I mean, that's just, that's what you get for free market corpo bullshit.
You end up with free market corpo entities with huge amounts of power.
Elon Musk is like, I'm so rich, I thought I was immune.
It's like, dude, these companies have way much more money than you.
So much more money than you.
Yeah, and the best part about this is that he is the one who literally got on stage and said, hey, if you're trying to blackmail me into not advertising on my platform, go fuck yourselves.
He was the one who was like, hey, advertisers, I don't want you.
And now he's like, please come back.
I'm going to sue you to make you come here.
Yeah, he's not saying, please come back.
He's saying, I believe I somehow have a legal leg to stand on.
Because this isn't like a fucking slap or whatever, you know?
Like, this isn't him being able to leverage his superior resources to bully somebody into submission.
He doesn't have more money than the advertisers.
So, somewhere in his heart of hearts, he has to think he can win this thing.
Or that it's just worth getting his name in the headlines for the attempt.
Yeah, well, the attempt is the fact that he, like every right-wing grifter who wants a dumb lawsuit to somehow look successful, he filed this in the proper district in Texas, which means The case will be assigned to a nut named Matthew Kazmark, or Kazmeric, however you say this terrible person's name.
He is basically the male version of Aileen Cannon.
He is a Trump-appointed lunatic who does whatever right-wingers want him to do when they file a case in front of him.
He was the guy that tried to get Milsaprone, one of the birth control drugs, banned because he made a ruling saying, fuck that shit.
They wanted me to outlaw it, so I did.
And then it had to be overturned by higher courts because they were like, no, one judge in Texas can't determine a drug status for all of America, you fucking clown.
Well, yeah, and the same thing would happen here.
Even if this fucking packed lunch judge just gives them the ruling they want, they'll just appeal to the higher courts immediately.
Even for the wackos of the, like, you know, because allegedly they're free market wackos.
So, like, having the federal government step in and start telling people how they could do their advertising business seems like it should ruffle a lot of feathers.
And I would have to imagine that hopefully sanity would prevail amongst the conservatives there.
They would just be like, federal government stepping in to tell people how to run their business?
Fuck no!
I don't know what Elon's talking about.
I get plenty of ads on Twitter still.
Mike, I literally just sent you one.
It's called the Trumpy Cover.
It's a big ass Trump kind of pillow that goes over your motorcycle helmet.
And clearly obscures all vision that is, like, to the sides.
And it's definitely road safe.
Nice, they should all buy those.
And it fits most motorcycle helmets.
So I suggest... All motorcycle Trump fans, buy and use those immediately, please.
Please.
Yeah, uh, can you imagine, can you imagine having the EMTs rushing to your lifeless body and you have this weird Trump wrap over your motorcycle helmet?
Like, that's how they find you as they're trying to resuscitate you?
It's like, oh my god.
Could I imagine that if it was my body?
No.
Could I imagine that, like, as a bystander watching that happen?
Yeah.
With my phone out?
Oh yeah.
I want to commit a crime.
I want to, like, rob a bank.
Isn't that so bad?
Yes!
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It'd be great if you just forgot to say the last part.
Like, you just forgot to tie it into what we're talking about.
So just apropos, I think you're just like, ha ha ha ha, I'd love to rob a bank.
And then just, like, see how that goes over.
Like, I'm gonna go for it.
In the trunk of the car.
Yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, my bad.
I was freaking out for the memes.
It'd be like, what the hell is that movie?
Is it Point Break?
Yeah, it'd be like Point Break.
But, you know, you get shot pretty early on in the movie because you just can't see anything that's not directly in front of you.
Yeah.
Instead of it being a bunch of presidents, it's all just giant Trump motorcycle helmet guys.
Honestly, dude, like a gang of street toughs all wear rubber Donald Trump.
That's pretty horrifying to me.
Oh, I got that.
Hell yeah.
Anyway, what the fuck are we actually talking about?
Oh yeah, by the way, speaking of advertising, Donald Trump is also advertising all over my Twitter as well.
I keep getting his fucking collectible card with him just being like, somebody allegedly tried to assassinate me!
Remember, I've got the Timberlake hat on for the episode.
So they're just like, hey, do you want that commemorated in card form?
And I'm just like, no.
What?
What have I ever... How did this get on my algorithm?
And I realize it's not.
It's just that they don't have any advertisers, so I just get whatever they've got, which is Donald Trump.
So, good for all these grifters trying to make a buck off of Trump.
Uh, Twitter... Like, you know, they have to pay Twitter for the privilege, I'm sure.
So, what the fuck is Elon on about?
You know?
Did you see that weird video that the ex-CEO, Linda... Yes, that was what I was talking about.
Literally, like a hostage video where she was just like, we have a great case against this group of advertisers who have been illegally boycotting us.
And you're watching the video, trying to look at her blinking to see if she's blinking help me in Morse code or something.
Yeah, she just has this really intense look on her face, and the way she's gestulating with her arms is so not, like, normal.
Yeah, everything about this was, I have to perform like this for Elon to make Elon happy, so the checks keep coming in.
So I'm gonna do what Elon wants me to, which is promote this dogshit Lawsuit that has no chance of going anywhere because even if we quote-unquote win with our nutball Texas judge Like, it's gonna crash and burn to the next level so fast.
Like, the advertiser cabal that we're fighting knows what we're doing, and they already have the appeal written out.
The moment our nut judge rules in our favor, if he does, the appeal's hitting the next circuit ASAP.
It's not even funny.
Yeah, how massive is the fleet of lawyers for these other... Because, like, especially if they have to be represented as separate entities, then, like, you know, each one of them has just, like, two dozen lawyers.
Right, exactly.
It's like, whatever fucking shitball idiot Elon was able to convince to take this case, fighting the legal departments of Disney, Apple, Google, companies that actually have real fucking money.
People have always said that Disney is a legal department that dabbles in entertainment.
You don't fuck with the mouse in court.
Just all of that stuff.
This is such a ridiculous thing for him to be doing.
And it's all so that he can get a headline from that nut judge.
Twitter wins!
Lawsuit!
Appeal imminent.
We'll be annihilated in a week.
Also, again, almost nobody calls it X, you know?
It's still Twitter to everybody, so... Yeah, I love... The Supreme Court even called it Twitter when they were, like, making a ruling recently.
They were just like, you know, even us, Trump's bought-and-paid-for Tony's, we're not even gonna call your platform its dumb new name, because no one calls it that.
Get the fuck out of here, Elon.
That'd be great.
That should be the first, like, ice, you know?
The first level of defense should just be the lawyers being like, You can't really tarnish the X brand name, because nobody knows what X is.
Everybody knows what Twitter is, so if anybody fucked that pooch, it was Elon Musk.
And anybody with a brain would just be like, yeah, you know, that actually tracks.
Anything he does on X is just kind of irrelevant, because nobody's using it, because suddenly it just became a different thing, and now it's not Twitter anymore.
That's my favorite thing.
You just know when you're dealing with a bootlicker, when they say stuff like, hey, I just posted on X this killer meme.
It's like, no, no.
Fuck you.
No one says X. If you say X, you're just trying to get a response.
I bet that meme's not as hot as me.
Link to OnlyFans.
Yeah, that is the new bot.
It's such a weird thing that we now have instead of Instead of the bots doing the other thing.
Now, if you comment on a woman, the immediate bot is like, that woman's not as hot as me.
Bam.
Got you.
Boom.
Roasted.
Not gonna lie, the worst algorithm I have to deal with is Facebook, because all the social media chat, like, you know, they know I'm a single dude, so they're always serving me up thirst trap content.
And Facebook has just gotten the most direct at insulting me, because like, it'll just be like reels from girls who are just like, You know, I'm 20, but I like old men and I'm just like, whoa, what the fuck?
I'm just like, first of all, ick.
And second of all, I'm not old.
What are you talking about?
Like I'm not, I'm not 40 yet.
Leave me alone.
Oh, I don't, I don't know what pile of shit I stepped into a week ago, but I mean, I always get the first, the thirst trap reels.
I get all that stuff, but.
Like a week ago, suddenly, my ads were literally all pickup artist bullshit.
And I'm like, what the fuck is this?
And they're like, no, no, no.
Remove.
Dude, you need to up your riz, dude.
You need to up your riz.
Have you heard of this thing called negging?
Let me tell you about this.
It's a surefire way to win over hearts and minds.
Oh, tell me more, good sir.
Let me watch your 30-minute video.
Yeah, so it's just like, step one, pull up in your Rolls Royce.
Step two, disrespect the woman, but make her know that you're rich.
Step three, success.
Let's make her look great.
Super cool.
I'm glad that there were some words that you think that I could say that would make that, like, apply to me if I just wanted to be a dickhead to a random woman.
But I'm not pulling up in the Benzo and, like, hitting on ladies at this, like, rooftop club in Soho, so... Shut the fuck up.
Well, Hayley was the one who clued us in to how to get the ladies.
Rob a bank!
So, like, once we rob the bank, then we can follow the negging practice of rolling up with opulent wealth and letting our letting people know that like we got money to spend and then when we're just like yeah you're like a six maybe a pest she's like oh my god he's rich and he's hating me i love it so much yeah that's the trumpy helmet stays on during sex yes It absolutely does.
Dude, I, I, yeah, dude, as soon as I, I'm gonna accumulate some wealth and then I'm just gonna immediately just be like, you know what, Hayley?
I hate your guts.
You want to get out of here?
Because that's, that's, that's every pickup artist.
I hate those guys so much.
Okay, anyway, where were we?
We just got done talking about Elon Musk pooping his pampers.
Ah, so that means it has to be time for us to talk about Donald Trump pooping his pampers.
So, what's Trump flailing about this week?
Trump is flailing about the fact that Sleepy Joe is no longer his opponent, which makes him very sad.
He just can't handle it.
It's so funny because I was thinking about this after I read one of his latest rants on Truth Social.
I was thinking about the Wolverine in bed looking at the picture meme and I was just like, man, that's just Trump with Biden.
And then I came on and then I got home and I checked Twitter and someone had that meme up and I'm like, yes, you have read my mind.
You knew exactly where I was going with that and you were 100% right.
I like the fact that somewhere there's some stupid dumb conservative that thinks they've got the hot take for it, and then they post some killing joke meme where they're just like, you know, Batman and Joker, they only exist to compliment one another.
It's just like, is Batman Biden or Joker?
You know?
Which one?
Yeah, so Trump posted, what are the chances that crooked Joe Biden, the worst president in the history of the US, whose presidency was unconstitutionally stolen from him by Kamala, which is again the weird thing he's doing.
Nice, Kamala got her.
Got her!
Yep.
Barack HUSSEIN Obama, in all caps, crazy Nancy Pelosi, shifty Adam Schiff, cryin' Chuck Schumer, and others on the lunatic left, crosses the Democratic National Convention and tries to take back the nomination, beginning with challenging me to another debate!
He feels he has made a hugely tragic mistake by handing over the U.S.
presidency, a coup to the people in the world he most hates, and he wants it back now!
I just love the fact that he's writing fan fiction.
Especially because Joe Biden is getting more done now that he doesn't have to worry about running for a second term than he ever got done before.
He's, like, calling for term limits and doing hostage swaps and shit.
You know, he's quietly being Dark Brandon.
Yeah, literally, once he dropped out of the race, he put his nose to the grindstone, and we got all these people.
We got the reporter that Trump was like, hey, Putin will only give that reporter back to me, and then Biden's like, no he won't, fuck you, bam, he's mine.
I got that reporter back, you piece of shit.
So dumb.
Vladimir Putin, who I never trusted, short guy, weird guy.
But the thing I love about all of this so much is that he uses the term unconstitutionally about Harris replacing him on the ballot.
If anyone else said something like that, our media would look at them like they were just an absolute fucking moron.
But because Trump is just in this wave of crazy old man with spiraling in dementia, the fact that he says it's unconstitutional is what's happening now, no one cares.
Like, oh, it's just Trump being wacky.
Ah, that silly Trump, you know.
It's thinking that a party replacing someone is unconstitutional.
That's just the way his smooth brain views the world, so we don't hold it against him.
It's also just like, I don't think the guy who tried to, you know, basically orchestrate a fascist coup has any room to talk about what is and isn't constitutional.
Oh yeah, the guy who refused to leave power and sent a mob to kill his vice president.
Yeah, he's the guy that's just like, Harris replacing Biden is illegal!
They can't do this!
It's against the rules!
It is just so obvious the fact that they, Haley just said it earlier, like she's getting MAGA material and it's still anti-Biden.
It's so obvious that they just looked at this shit and they just said to themselves, man, Biden's so old and slow.
He just can't do this anymore.
We are going to cakewalk our way into the presidency.
We got this bro.
And they all started brofisting and celebrating.
And then Biden dropped out and they're just sputtering and flailing.
No, he can't do this.
This is illegal.
This is so unfair.
He can't drop out.
He, he can't put in the black lady that we're scared of.
No, it's just the most petulant defensive week elect campaign.
They're so bad at this.
It's like not even funny.
It's such a disaster.
And, uh, Trump, Trump is Trump's now going to do an interview with Elon on Monday, which, oh my God.
Like, two guys with absolute dogshit personalities.
Who is gonna conduct the interview?
Is Elon interviewing Trump?
If that's the case, oh my god.
Either way, it's gonna be a disaster and I'm here for it.
That's the worst person you could possibly be.
Yeah, this is the first time hearing about this and it sounds incredible.
Can't wait for this.
Like Aiden Ross, we didn't even, we didn't even put that on the list, but it's just like Trump meeting with Aiden Ross was like, that's, who are you appealing to?
Like, it's the guy that sniffed Andrew Tate's seat and is just like the absolute, just like, who, who is this for?
Yeah, preaching to the choir is fine because that means that like, we just get, we just get free content with like no impact.
Except for just like, you know, if they just want to keep setting themselves up stages for Democrats to dunk on them, then I'm happy to do that.
Right.
That's the thing that's so weird, is Trump is doing all this what would be called in-reach, where he's going in front of crypto bros and being like, hey crypto bros, I got your back!
And then he's hanging out with Aiden Ross and babbling.
It's like a fucking pedo platform.
Who are you appealing to?
Are you appealing to every weird type of fascist that likes you?
The funniest thing is one of the QAnon guys that I follow was like, this Aiden Ross stream is so powerful.
Trump is reaching out to disaffected young men across America who will soon be the The voting bloc decides elections, like, the future is red.
Everyone laughs at Aiden Ross.
Anyone who's an earnest fan of him is 13 and they legally can't vote.
Amanda posted the clip of him not understanding half the fucking words when he looked up what fascism was.
It's so funny.
He can't read any of the words.
He doesn't know who Mussolini is.
He calls him, like, Mazzulli.
How did this guy get popular?
How did he start?
Andrew Tate had rich parents and stuff, so he was able to bullshit his way through all that kind of thing.
I just I don't know if you guys saw that she was investigations against fucking and the transgressions against Kyle Rittenhouse We didn't even put that on the list.
It's been such a wild week.
Yeah, crazy week.
But just rest assured, everyone you know that you thought had a penis is a woman.
Because there's no chance that they just have small penises.
It's just like, look at the way this guy's sitting.
Why couldn't we see his cock hairs?
Maybe he's just got a fucking bare small cock, dude.
That would explain a lot about the way he acts and carries himself.
And maybe he's a grower, not a shower.
Maybe it's tiny until he fluffs it.
I mean, there's... Okay, well, Mike is giving it more credit than I would.
I think it was just tiny.
Do these people understand how penises work?
Obviously not.
It's, like, fucking hilarious.
um as far as Ross he has this another semi viral clip where he was talking with another streamer and he was like what's the average like uh amount of money that a household has like 100k So this guy was like born rich also, I think.
He's very out of touch.
And then I think the thing that launched him into success, kind of like popularity, was he did a stream with LeBron's son, I believe it was.
And it was just like, uh, got a huge following after that.
I'm pretty sure that's kind of like the trajectory.
And then he got famous again, more so for sniffing Andrew Tate's seat and just being an Andrew Tate literal ass kisser.
So.
Ass kisser?
No, he was there.
He was trying to smell that vag.
Well, the transvestigation I saw this week was people saying that Dylan Mulvaney is like a double transition.
I also saw that.
The new Heights of Decadence.
The old double bluff.
But we're already running long in the boosh, so I have to quickly away us from that so we can briefly touch upon another crazy- I mean, this is how crazy- I have to get away from talking about Dylan Mulvaney being secretly double-tranced so that we can talk about RFK revealing that he was the one behind the mystery bear dumping in fuckin' Central Park in 2014, right?
Was that the- I believe that's where the bear turned up.
But yeah, so I guess RFK decided to deposit this bear corpse in the middle of this public park and try to cover it up to look like it was killed by a bicycle impact.
And to get out in front of this damning information about to release, he decided to put out his own videos with Roseanne Barr.
And Roseanne Barr, friend of RFK Jr., looked pretty confused about why this was happening.
Yeah, so, R.F.K.
Jr.
apparently saw a car hit a bear in front of him, and then he saw the dead bear and thought, man, I want to skin and eat that bear.
Because when you're a Kennedy, you often think to yourself, mm, roadkill, that looks succulent.
To be fair, reminder, worms have eaten part of his brain.
So, if he is acting irrationally, it's hard not to point to at least some amount of where brain activity is potentially being an excuse.
I'm not saying it definitely is, I'm just saying it can't be discounted.
This is true.
This is absolutely true.
We do have to remember that the worm did attack a section of his brain that may have controlled rationality and lucidity.
And so, apparently, unable to properly skin and debone the bear, he then just threw it in Central Park and then tried to make it look like it was killed by a bike.
And then ran away and never told anybody until apparently these reporters were like poking around and had figured out something was going on.
And he's like, now just to get it in front of the bear murdering story, I'm going to talk about the fact that I threw this bear corpse into the Central Park.
And there's even a photo of him with a bear in his car!
He took a picture of himself!
Yeah, so, that was the thing, like, I didn't really delve too deep on, like, the sourcing for this stuff, but I heard that, like, it wasn't just, like, he had in mind to get this bear, so he scooped it up, and then ended up being short on time, so he had to dump it.
That was after he, like, drove around and, like, showed it to a bunch of his friends.
And took that picture with it, and like, you know... This guy, he just... It's clear that he hates animals, at the very least.
He's got some sort of contempt for animals, which, as we know, is one of the few things that can actually damage a political career, so... I mean, God, like...
Between the obvious sexual assaults, and the fucking weird predilection to hating animals, and the brain worm thing, like, somebody near this man needs to let him know that there's no way he could ever be a politician.
Andy Joyce!
His horrifying voice!
To say nothing of that.
We need to get stuff for Grandpa to go back to weightlifting.
You know?
Like, go back to weightlifting, Grandpa.
It's over for you.
No one can ever vote for you.
That sounds impossible.
Like, how am I supposed to respect anyone that tells me they'd vote for that man?
I'm just like, worms ate his brain.
And like, he is bizarre.
Like, he's like serial killer bizarre with animals.
And he sexually assaulted a bunch of people.
Allegedly.
You know?
Oh!
Okay.
RFK is a bummer.
And a loser.
But, I mean, he does have, like, sitcom levels of fucking scandals coming out of his closet, which is incredible.
But enough of that horse shit.
We have to talk about Arizona, because every week we have to talk about Arizona.
That's why Hayley's here!
Hayley, our Arizona correspondent.
Hi, Hayley!
Hello!
What's going on in Arizona this week?
I think that we, you know, keeping up with like the kind of positive energy of the week, have a couple of funny Arizona stories, maybe?
So in Arizona, Turning Point Action, which is the political arm of Turning Point USA, Charlie Kirk's organization, is doing this get out the vote effort called Chase the Vote.
Where they're basically trying to identify all the Republican-leaning voters who haven't voted in the last couple elections and encourage them to vote this election.
Arizona, they're targeting several key states, but Arizona is where Turning Point is headquartered and also just in general the state where they're dispatching the most volunteers.
It's like they're trying to raise a hundred over a hundred million dollars for this effort and it's like in all the swing states they're utilizing a very shady app to like for their get out the vote efforts.
It uses Superfeed Technologies, which also runs like the Arizona Republican Party app and a few other Republican parties throughout the country.
And it's like owned by it's like the directors of the company are Charlie Kirk's mother-in-law and Tyler Boyer, who's also the COO of Turning Point Action.
And he's like Charlie Kirk's best friend.
There's also like other people with Turning Point USA involved in this app.
They used it last election during the midterm.
And technically they were conducting business in Arizona illegally because they weren't supposed to be like they were in some trouble as far as their business and were banned from conducting business in Arizona.
But they were still running all these political apps last election.
So very up and up stuff.
Another person who's on the board, Lori Klein Corbin, is a former lawmaker here who pointed a gun at a journalist here.
So really cool group.
Anyways, as far as like this get out the vote effort to convince Republicans to vote this election who have never voted before.
They are basically acting like the couple from the Americans that show about Soviet spies in America.
They're like, this is, this is from New York Times.
About the how they're being instructed.
Boyer, so Tyler Boyer who's the COO, he's also from Arizona.
Tyler Boyer instructed the organizers Not to come on too strong by showing up with MAGA hats and flyers.
Instead, they should research their marks and start reaching out through Facebook groups, community events, or neighborly gestures such as recommending plumbers or harp teachers.
They could even arrange seemingly chance encounters on coffee runs or dog walks.
Some of this sounds like stalking, one staffer whispered.
Professional stalkers, his colleague joked back.
As one slide of From the Training implored, in all caps, be normal, be normal, be normal.
I love the idea of being normal as you happen upon someone while they're walking their dog.
This person's walking their dog and you just walk over to them.
Hey ma'am, would you like to vote for Donald Trump?
Yes, normal person, leave me the fuck alone, I'm walking my dog.
They want you to, like, meet with a mark, though, and kind of, like, soften them up for weeks, like, before you even convince them that they should vote.
It's like, pretend like this is your new fucking best friend, and then slowly get into their mind that they should vote, and it's like, okay, that's weird.
Um...
And then in another training, Tyler Boyer used the character Ned Flanders as an example of how to be normal.
I just love the idea of the slow red pill when we're like 90 days away from the election.
Like, when do you bring it up?
Like, the week before?
And then you're like, so, are you thinking about voting for Trump?
And the person's like, oh, I already mailed in my ballot for Harris.
And they're like, no!
My months of planning for nothing!
No!
They're just like, yeah, I really care about abortion, so I voted for Harris-Waltz.
And then you're just like, they're just crying in their beer.
They're like, dammit, I invested so much time into that one vote and it didn't go my way.
Like this seems like way too labor intensive for way too little payoff.
Um, so that's their very normal get out the vote effort that is happening right now.
Uh, there's so much to that whole chase the vote thing.
That's just wild.
I could do a five hour podcast on it.
Um, but anyway, moving on, we will move on instead.
Um, there's been some updates in the fake elector case for those of you who love, uh, crime.
Jenna Ellis!
Boom!
Our new hero!
Jenna Ellis flipped in agreement, basically, with Arizona Attorney General Chris Mays that she wouldn't face any charges.
And yeah, she's going to cooperate.
She flipped in Georgia also, right?
She was cooperating in Georgia, I believe.
Yeah, she was.
She was definitely talking to you, Mike.
There's no way.
Imagine if I got in there with a confirmation of that.
I was just like, absolutely.
But anyway, so yeah, Jenna Ellis flipped, but there was actually the first person who has been, who has pled guilty.
The first person who has admitted guilt in the fake elector case.
It's an Arizona Republican named Lorraine Pellegrino.
Um, she was just, like, a lead of a lot of, like, Republican, like, women groups here and claimed to be the secretary of the fake fucking electorship that they were cooking up.
The whole scheme that they made, she was the so-called secretary.
So she is not going to face any jail time.
She's just on three years probation because she pled guilty to a lesser charge and they agreed to drop the charges of forgery and the other harsher charges.
So it's it's not like said yet uh that her plea deal involves flipping but because they let her take like basically no jail time and let her plead uh like they dropped some of the harsher charges there's like some speculation that maybe she's also cooperation cooperating with the investigation um I guess also, like, they had the opportunity to charge more Republicans, but A.G.
Mays turned it down, which... So, I'm just curious who, honestly, is going to actually face any, like, repercussions for this?
Any jail time?
Any, anything?
Rather than just, like, pull up on the rapes?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, hopefully, if Jenna does, like, testify, they're actually, they are looking at hitting, like, people with actual big boy crimes.
Is Josh Barnett one of the still fake electors?
No.
No, he's not.
Unfortunately not.
He wasn't, because I just saw his piss baby tweet about, what is a fake elector?
Which is bullshit.
So I was like, oh man, I hope he's one of these idiots who's in hot water.
It'd be so great.
Yeah, she accepted a guilty plea to a single charge for filing a false instrument, the fraudulent electoral college, the fake certificate of fake electors.
So yeah, like not a huge charge.
She's not going to jail.
But she is the first person to plead guilty.
And there's some movement on that.
So Republicans in Arizona taking some L's, which is funny.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
I love it.
It's a happy ending.
Fucking stupid Republicans taking L's.
All right.
Let us quickly get to our news segment where we only have a couple of things to talk about, but they're pretty spicy.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Headline number one is a real bummer.
The UK has lost their fucking mind.
And I guess they're having like crazy race riots at the moment.
Yeah well I mean I haven't really seen like a super ton of like reporting on this relative to how like bad I guess it is so uh that's why well that's not why we're here because we're a comedy show not a news show but that's why you guys are here to explain to me your co-hosts stuff about this.
Yeah Haley take it away.
Oh okay um so uh this is actually kind of More Twitter stuff because a lot of this misinformation, disinformation, stemmed from Twitter lies.
It happened over the, like, kind of disinformation stemmed from an incident where three little girls were stabbed and murdered.
And there was a lot of rumors online that it was a, and it's not, a like migrant, like a migrant who came on the boats.
There was just like all this like, if we close the borders, This person would have never gotten into the country kind of rhetoric and there was a lot of also like this is why we should kick out all the Muslims talk this is why we shouldn't let Muslims in because they were falsely claiming that the the perpetrator the alleged perpetrator was a Muslim which was all untrue.
he's a British born Christian he's underage and I'm sure there's a lot more there that I won't speculate on but his parents were from Rwanda so some of that rhetoric is still continuing even though there was a lot of disinformation but in response um yeah
Yeah, Tommy Robinson, all the way from Cyprus, Greece, and he's the British fascist who founded the English Defense League, was stirring up a lot of this rhetoric.
Nigel Farage, Andrew Tate, Elon was outright talking civil war on the timeline.
And yeah, there was some pretty extreme riots.
There was... People were trying to burn down a hotel that had refugees in it.
Two!
Two hotels!
Excellent.
Even better.
There was a library that got burned.
Lots of people were assaulted.
Muslim people, brown people, people assumed to be Muslim.
They were doing race checks.
The crowds were letting people pass and go by determination if they were British-born white.
It was black men being basically ganged up, assaulted by a lynch mob. - Yeah.
Lots of really horrific stuff.
Lots of really violent stuff.
And yeah, migrant centers getting openly lit on fire.
Really violent incidents.
So yeah, a lot of this stirred up due to disinformation on Twitter and then Nigel Farage was on like the, you know, some fucking channel over there talking with a news anchor saying that, blaming Twitter, he was saying like, oh, there was so much False news on Twitter.
You know, Andrew Tate was talking about false information.
So he was kind of like pinning it on Andrew Tate.
And it's like, OK, well, you're like Nigel Farage, an actual fucking person with political power.
You are also spreading this disinformation.
There was honestly Arizona elected officials also sharing Tommy Robinson and talking about how England needs to take their country back.
Literally that's just, it's just white supremacist fucking riots.
Um, so yeah, thanks Twitter.
Uh, I think also like cause Ireland recently had some pretty extreme race riots.
Um, I, you know, I think there's a lot of hostility, a lot of pretty, a lot of hostility being perpetrated.
In the war, the wars on X. Like, Twitter is helping to fuel a lot of really violent stuff, I think, around the world.
Yeah, so that's the really fun update that what happened in the UK over the weekend.
And it's still kind of happening.
Because there's like pretty violent telegram accounts like explicitly calling for more riots at migrant centers.
So this is... Sounds like an op to me.
Op, op, op.
Everything's an op.
The whole thing was an op.
So anyway, that's the UK for you.
Thanks, Twitter.
Thanks, Elon.
Nice, well done.
UK, get your shit together.
Hey?
Hey, pals?
You feel like you've been having a rough go of it recently, you know?
Like, I don't know.
A little bit.
Sort your fucking life out, mate.
I like your television sometimes, but, you know, a bunch of the other stuff it seems like you've got going on is fucking all sorts of pear-shaped.
Unlike the United States of America, which has everything going just smoothly.
Everything's great.
Oh yeah, nothing like that's going to happen any time soon.
No, we would never do race riots in America.
That's not our thing.
So, let's pick up our spirits with what appears to be a pretty L-E-L, you know, I feel like this is some good news.
Harris has picked her vice presidential running mate, and it is The Walls, who you don't know, I don't know, nobody knows who this is.
Also The Walls.
But now people are starting to know who he is.
So let's talk about our soon-to-be, hopefully, vice president, The Walls.
Mike, what is up with The Walls, aside from having a name that is cool to say?
And looking like a, looking like a generally cheerful fellow that would make a great mall Santa.
Uh, Tim Walz is the governor of Minnesota.
And basically he kind of burst onto the scene as being a possible vice presidential pick, uh, by, uh, just, he was the one who kind of started the whole Republicans are weird thing.
And he got that ball rolling and the internet fell in love with him and over a course of time he went from dark horse sleeper for the vice president pick to actually being the pick and Uh, he was, uh, he was in the, he was in the national reserve for 24 years.
Uh, he was a public school teacher and then he got into Congress and then he, uh, became the governor of Minnesota.
So he's had a long career of public service and all that good stuff.
And.
He very much just looks like an affable, nice old guy who is incredibly normal, which is just kryptonite to these Republicans.
Right now they're running every kind of attack they can at him.
They're attacking him for quote-unquote stolen valor.
And I actually reached out to Sarge and he said it was all bullshit, which was great.
Basically what happened was is that he Got promoted to a rank like a commander, Sergeant Commander, Commander Sergeant, SCSM is the term, and basically he needed to have two more years of learning, of training, and And education in order to actually fully earn that rank.
And he left the military before he did.
So he got busted down to the next level of rank at his retirement.
So these people are claiming, Oh yeah, when he claimed he was a commander sergeant, that was bullshit.
It's stolen valor.
And, uh, I even saw a QAnon promoter reach out to the Stolen Valor Twitter account and be like, Hey, get Tim Walz for this.
And the Stolen Valor account is like, not seeing it, bro.
Um, I'm looking into it cause everyone's screaming and yelling, but no, not, not feeling it.
And, um, they're also complaining about him putting tampons in the bathrooms in the high schools of Minnesota, which, uh, again, fucking weird.
Please keep doing that.
It's obviously going to land with people very well.
Of course, of course they'd latch onto that.
It combines a lot of their favorite thing.
Underage people, the genitals of underage people.
They love that shit on that side of the fence.
Can't get enough of it.
I love the commercial though that's like anti-walls that's like showing a person walking into a stall pulling underwear down to like hit him on Men having tampons in the bathroom and it's just like, I don't want to see this commercial.
And it's really fucking weird.
This is like a horror movie.
Weird.
The commercial was super creepy.
It's like, look at this guy taking his pants off in a bathroom.
This is what Tim Walz wants.
It's like, uh, you're the one showing me the fucking footage.
Tim ain't involved here.
The governor ain't here, buddy.
I only had that on my hard drive because I was doing research because I hate them so much.
Yeah, exactly that shit.
Like a little tampon Tim, like libs of TikTok.
Like, okay, this is nothing.
And also I'm just going to say it's, uh, yeah, good to have menstrual products in the bathroom.
Just like it's good to provide a free meal to every student, which he also did.
And it's just, uh, you're not gonna convince me that giving children free products in school is bad.
Um, It is not the death of capitalism in America that a child gets their little cafeteria pizza for free every day.
Yeah, like, oh my god.
Also, you know, tampon Tim.
Why?
because he's always getting into pussy.
Oh, boo!
Oh, my boy, the walls!
Bam, bam, bam, bam!
And as people have pointed out, J.D. Vance is against in vitro fertilization, and Tim Walls has a daughter named Hope who was conceived by in vitro fertilization.
Literally, this guy's built in a lab to fuck J.D.
Vance up.
And he also said that funny couch thing.
He did the couch bit, which, oh god, the discourse online about his couch joke is so wild.
I just love the people tsk-tsking about it.
Hey, go fuck yourselves.
That's the way I feel about this.
Also but just the relationship with his daughter is like cute because like she's in a lot of the videos um with him like the one where he's like oh we're gonna have a corn dog and she's like I'm vegetarian and he's like turkey it is then and she's like And he's like, not in Minnesota!
Turkey's special!
And it's just, like, wholesome.
It's not like J.D.
Vance telling his kid to shut the fuck up about Pokemon because he talked to Trump.
It's just, like, totally different vibes.
You bring up Pikachu again, you're getting Switch!
It's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Oh my God.
Like he, uh, yeah, Vance did it again today.
Someone asked him like, what makes you, like, why are you always angry?
Or like, what makes you happy?
And he, Couldn't just say, you know what makes me happy?
My family, my children.
He was given the softest softball question imaginable.
It was put on a tee for him and he still managed to strike out because he was just sort of, your question's dumb and I hate it.
And by the way, I'm angry right now.
Just literally just letting everybody know that he's just this seething ball of perpetual resentment at the world.
Everybody wants to talk about me fucking couches and or dolphins.
It's like, yeah, why man?
Don't do that then, you know?
Don't admit to fucking couches in your own book and also don't, like, dive yourself up for doing dolphin porn searches.
Fuck a weirdo.
It's not on us.
It's on you.
I saw that Wallace was the first person on the Democratic presidential ticket not to have attended law school since Jimmy Carter.
And I think that's beautiful, that he has not attended law school.
We don't have our one millionth fucking lawyer.
A teacher!
I think teachers are honestly, that's a great position to be in politics because they have to deal with every type of personality and their parent.
Being a teacher.
Yeah.
Someone told a story about how when he became a teacher, all the other teachers at the school pranked him by giving him a fake coupon for a turkey at the local grocery store.
And then he went into the grocery store and got the turkey.
And they just said, how do you do it?
And they were just like, that's just how he is.
He was just able to take this fake coupon and obtain a turkey with it.
Because he just has charisma.
So, every story I've heard about him sounds awesome.
The fact that Republicans are screaming, what a terrible pick!
that probably means it's good.
And again, the vice president doesn't really decide things.
It's more of a do-no-harm selection.
But I do think that Walz does no harm.
I think he's good.
I think he'll be a proper attack dog against Vance and Trump.
And Vance was a terrible pick.
He is just an absolute negative.
There's this awesome new photo of Vance now going around where he did a hit at somewhere in Philadelphia, and they put a banner behind him that read, uh, Camelot Chaos, trying to let us know that, like, voting for Harris is gonna send America in all kinds of turbulence and discombobulation.
But they then put the people behind him to make the crowd look good.
They put the people behind him so they blocked the word chaos.
You couldn't even see it.
So it looked like J.D.
Vance was campaigning for Harris.
It's just this giant Kamala behind him as he's talking.
Also, I watched the whole rally yesterday.
The Kamala Walls rally.
Yep.
And, um, I was watching, like, Fox News livestream it, and the Fox News guy that was there in person, the host, um, was even talking about, like, there's a lot of energy here.
Like, they all gave them these light-up bracelets.
It kind of feels like a Taylor Swift concert.
Uh, he was like, he was even, like, hyping up the energy of the Walls, like, rally.
And honestly they're gonna be, I've seen some of the, there's people lining up for their rally today in a way that looks like some of the like hype early days of the Trump rallies that I went to.
Right.
And like I'm gonna go to one on Friday here and I'm curious to see like yeah uh just kind of the energy that it brings because like the Vance rally had negative energy.
It was like the life of the MAGA movement has been sucked And dry, not positive.
Yeah, this is not off.
Yeah.
If the Harris Walls rallies just have like enthusiasm, energy, like just a good vibe to them, it's going to be so devastating to these right wing grifters because QAnon literally
Spent the entire 2020 election talking about how beyond the election fraud and the mail-in ballots and the mules and the human mules and all the other good stuff like that, they pissed and moaned about how COVID was denying us the Trump rally, the singular most powerful political weapon in America, the Trump rally, where he would just galvanize an audience with his incredible oratory and
Biden was hiding in his closet with a massive polling lead and following COVID protocols.
So Biden really didn't do rallies because again, he's winning.
Why try to fuck it up with a gaffe and also don't kill people like Herman Cain by doing a rally and giving them COVID and killing them.
So like they got to pretend that Democrats don't have crowds in 2020 and that Trump got screwed by COVID on that.
So.
If this keeps up for the next three months, where every time Harris takes the stage, it's just three minutes of applause, and she just has to, like, beg the crowd to shut up so she can give her speech.
And Walz is just out there killing it, and he's not in front of 20 people like J.D.
Vance was today, telling everyone, I'm angry right now!
Angry for couches.
Like, whatever the fuck that guy's doing.
Like, that vibe shift is gonna be just so demoralizing to them.
I actually saw one QAnon promoter talk about how the Walls-Harris rally was a green screen.
How those people behind them weren't actually really there.
It was all CGI fans.
Because Democrats can't have, like, momentum.
They can't have enthusiasm.
Impossible!
Also, I've seen the far right hit walls on like, yeah, the fact that he's like friendly with Ilhan Omar and has actually done an event with CARE, which is the center of American Islamic relations, which is actually pretty which is the center of American Islamic relations, which is actually
I think it's kind of a good, you know, it's not capitulating to the center for once, which is what the Democrats love to do.
So yeah, interesting, interesting pick.
Oh, I also have to break real quick.
They're rehashing the Somali flag bullshit with walls.
Yeah, if you don't know about this, Minnesota had a very boring state flag.
If you haven't seen the CP Grey video where he regs all the flags, he basically tears a lot of American state flags a new asshole because they're just these bullshit blue field, circle, seal, name of the state.
A lot of our state flags are very weak.
They have a massive lack of creativity.
And Minnesota was one of the states that was like, you know what?
Our flag does suck shit.
So they had a contest.
They picked a winner.
They edited it slightly.
And now Minnesota has a flag that kind of looks like a state flag that isn't boring.
It doesn't have words on it.
It doesn't have the state seal.
It's just a real flag.
People tried to say, it looks like the Somali flag for all the Somalis that are coming to Minnesota and conquering it, because that's what's happening when immigrants move to America.
They conquer, because that's what racists think.
And in case you're wondering, no, the state flag of Minnesota does not look like anything like the Somali flag.
It's total bullshit.
I do know that as an American, when I think of Minnesota, though, I do think of Somali people.
Yeah!
I was just like, you know, that is pretty ingrained, you know?
I certainly don't think of maybe the most Caucasian people in the whole damn country.
Like, Minnesota's full of snow Caucasians.
Are you kidding me?
Like, those people are matte white.
What?
What do you think of walls, Al?
I don't know shit about them, so... Just from an outside perspective, do you feel any energy about them?
Uh, I mean, not really.
As sort of like somebody who's only sort of plugged in, I'm mostly just happy that it wasn't Shapiro.
Yeah.
You know, it seemed like a bad time for Shapiro.
Yeah, I just thought that there was so much negativity swirling around Shapiro that I understood that if they picked him, it would have been just absolutely soulless, pragmatist, we're trying to win Pennsylvania to get the 270 kind of move.
I'm so tired of suits.
It also would have disrupted the narrative and it would have thrown a wrench into the unity that is, I feel like, a big reason why the Democrat ticket seems so strong right now.
But as for Wallace, I don't know.
Like I said, he looks like he'd make a good mall Santa.
Those guys, provided they're not crazy drunks, are typically pretty nice.
He doesn't seem like a crazy drunk.
I will say the funniest thing about him is I like one of the Twitter hit pieces on him that somebody posted, like hit posts, which is like, this is this guy's family.
And it's just like a bunch of like, The sort of people you would expect to see coming out of Minnesota.
And I was just like, okay, he's got like a regular ass like nuclear family.
It's like him and his Caucasian wife and his two Caucasian children.
Like, what are you talking about?
Like everyone looks like they are presenting as the genders they reside with at birth.
Like, what's the problem?
Yeah, I was like... I was like, they're all lily white.
I was like, what's going on here?
They're standing in front of their, like, nice-looking property that they probably own.
Like, you guys, like... It's like, this is this guy's perfect family.
I mean, it's not perfect.
He's liberal.
And it's like, yeah, okay, cool.
Yeah, and someone said... Check his wife for a dick, quick.
Yeah, no shit.
The best thing I saw was if Walz becomes Vice President, this will be the first time that we've had a neighbor who gives good advice in the third act has ever ascended to such a high office.
He has a non-threatening vibe, which is great.
He's non-threatening without sucking the air out of the room.
But he's not threatening without sucking the air out of the room.
He doesn't have big Mormon energy, you know?
Right.
That's the thing is that he does liberal policies while he codes normie.
That's what's so important.
It's like free school lunches for kids by raising taxes on rich people or however he funded that.
And on top of that, I just look normal.
I'm not this like fire-breathing lefty liberal that Like, Joe Sixpack and Judy Punchclock look at and just, like, see as a far-left extremist.
You look at this guy, and he's just, as you said, mall Santa.
He's grandpa.
He's dull-looking.
Like, so, I just think that all of those things are massive strengths in his favor.
Yeah, I mean, considering that, like, Kamala Harris herself is, like, a pretty spicy candidate for president, like, the vice-presidential pick needed to be the less spicy, you know?
Like, because those two things pair together on a plate.
You don't want the whole plate to be spicy.
Everything would be ruined.
Yeah.
Oh, that's been my argument, like, the whole time, is, like, find the most boring white guy you can and let's do this thing.
And I think Walls is good on policy and good on boring.
Is that DEI?
I can't wait for that.
I can't wait for the fact that they're never going to call him a DEI hire.
The same thing with Sleepy Joe.
When he was Obama's vice president, Biden was very obviously a DEI hire because the vice president is always DEI.
The vice president is always a SOP to some other branch of the party.
It's why JFK picked Lyndon Johnson because he wanted a Southerner who could help him carry the Southern states.
And he had to pick someone who wasn't a Catholic, because Kennedy was kind of scary, because he was the first Catholic to run for the presidency.
Even back then, when he was running for president, he was interviewed, and someone said, hey, JFK, isn't going for the presidency a little big for a Catholic?
Wouldn't you be better as a vice president, where you could rally Catholics by being the vice president?
And Kennedy was, get the fuck out of here with that bullshit!
Although he said it with this horrible accent.
So, I mean, this is just the way it always has been.
The only time, like, someone's not done that was when Clinton kind of doubled down on Al Gore and was like, yeah, two Southern young Democrats, what are you going to do about it?
But the Democrats had just lost three elections by, like, a combined score of 12,000 electoral votes to, like, four.
So I could see how the Democrats might have thought, like, a massive narrative shift would be a good idea.
Which is why the double down was what they did in that spot, which is why Trump doing the double down with J.D.
Vance was so fucking stupid, because you appealed to absolutely nobody knew.
There's no one who was not voting for Trump who looked at J.D.
Vance and go, hmm, you know, I kind of like the cut of that guy's jib.
Maybe I need to give this Trump fellow a second look.
No one felt that way.
I mean, J.D.
Vance was literally there.
Peter Thiel probably felt that way.
Yeah, Peter Thiel.
OK.
All right, let's get into our listener mailbag for the week.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A. Eric, the Deep State Operative says, this is a question for L specifically, but anyone can feel free to chime in.
You've mentioned before that you like to play Civ Rev.
Do you like to play 4X games in general?
I've been replaying Masters of Orion 2 lately and wondered if you had any recommendations.
I used to try to dabble in the 4X stuff, but I want to like them more than I actually like playing them, just because I think the individual games take too long to go to their full conclusion.
I don't want to spend 30 hours playing a single game of Civilization.
That's usually the amount of time I spend playing a game for its whole run.
Very rarely do I have enough free time to play a game for hundreds of hours like I did with, say, Baldur's Gate 3.
Um, but, uh, I don't really have any, like, deep cut recommendations.
I was kind of pretty basic.
Like, I stuck to the Civilization series, I played, like, Stellaris and some of the other ones, but none of the sci-fi ones ever really appealed to me.
I'm sort of basic.
Honestly, my favorite of the 4X games is still Civ Rip, because you can sit down and play it for, like, two or three hours and get a thing done.
Uh, so unfortunately, no, I don't have any great recommendations for you.
Wish I did, though.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm a Civ.
I'm a boring Civ player.
I haven't played to dog's age when it comes to any of the Civ games.
So I really don't know anything about any on that front.
So I'm also useless.
Hayley's just gonna bust out mad 4X tech here.
It's gonna be incredible.
She's shaking her head no.
She has no idea what we're talking about.
I do know what Civ is.
I actually have it.
I just never played it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Fucking tourists.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
By the way, I browbeat Eric a lot later than I started browbeating you, and he's already up to the third boss in Hades, so you need to get with the program, Haley.
You need to catch up here.
Sorry, I have Hades 2, and I've just never played it.
This is a problem of mine.
I get games and then I never play them, but we'll maybe get there one day.
Okay, so thank you for the question.
A homeless cat with a gun says, the DeWalt's pick and Twitter momentum afterwards have honestly made me tear up at moments.
Anyone else here feel that way?
I will say that the vibe shift in this election has been so massive since Biden dropped out that for this whole campaign, I was just sort of like, oh man, we are so fucked because America just doesn't really seem to get the danger that Trump, the threat that Trump is.
And our candidate is really not very inspiring and doesn't have a lot going for him.
So I feel that unless people actually figure out the Trump puzzle and just vote for Biden as a defense mechanism, we're kind of fucked.
But now that we actually have a candidate that people are invested in and they feel good about, you have Both a candidate you can vote for, and you have a terrible threat you can vote against, and I think that's really awesome.
So I, I do feel a lot better about things now than where we were.
Like, where we were a month ago to where we are now, oh man, it's like night and day.
I mean, it is so much different.
Uh, it's really wild that, like, Trump getting shot at was the high-water mark of his campaign, because, like, right after that, he picks Shady Vance, he gives a terrible speech at the RNC that, like, fuckin', like, generates no goodwill for him.
If he literally got up on stage and just did a 20 minute speech about how he got shot at, and now he's like changed as a man, and he's gonna work to unify America, and he just lied his ass off, it would've been so good.
Nope.
90 minutes of Hannibal Lecter.
90 minutes of fucking dumb bullshit.
Goes on Aiden Ross's stream.
He's gonna- It goes on Aiden Ross's stream.
Oh, the funniest thing about his Aiden Ross stream was Aiden Ross asked him about what UFC fighter he likes, and he picked Khabib, and Conor McGregor got super fucking pissed about it.
It's like, oh god.
It's like, great.
Antagonizing the most famous UFC fighter of all time by picking the guy who ruffle-stomped him in the cage.
Great job, Trump.
But, uh, yeah, I just feel, I feel a lot better right now.
I feel like we're in a lot better.
And we haven't even had the DNC yet.
We're going to get like four days of people dunking on Trump for being old.
And Harris is going to give her big, like, I mean, people have gotten around Harris, but like, she's going to give like her first big national speech.
And we're going to give Sleepy Joe a good sendoff.
I just think that there's a lot of good stuff to look forward to.
And then September starts and Trump's going to back out of the debate like a giant fucking coward.
And that's going to look so bad for him.
I mean, we're in a good spot right now.
We're in a much better spot than we were a month ago.
They need to pull Taylor Swift out during the DNC.
They need to get Tay Dog out there to just be like, First Lady, President.
Let's do this.
And, you know, that seems like it's just, that would be great.
That would be like the fucking, the sweet chin music.
Don't mention the major pop stars.
It's been next level in comparison.
Some of the more expected ones, I'm sure, are going to turn up or whatever.
But, you know, obviously the one who commands the most sway with the single wave of her digital hand is Taylor Swift.
So especially if she was there, like, physically.
If they have physical Taylor Swift on stage, just stand next to President Joe Biden and soon, hopefully soon-to-be President Kamala Harris.
Oh, yeah.
You said it before that we need a more powerful circus with our DNC, and yeah, I'm all for it.
Like, Beyoncé just, like, licensed, like, Freedom Tour.
Like, just this massive, you can use my giant song.
So yeah.
The tent is set up for quite a circus.
If they deliver on the big circus, I think it will really help continue this momentum forward.
They have a great platform for it, you know?
Yes, absolutely.
I think that Walls is...
Um, good propaganda for your MAGA dad that maybe isn't like the worst piece of shit on this planet and is swayable and you can just show him some of these memes of this guy and I think that you could sway him.
I think he's disarming.
I think he's relatable to just kind of dudes.
Right, he was the dude pick, and I think it was a really smart one.
Again, I watched the rally yesterday.
They were hitting it a couple times that they want to be a positive campaign and be You know, just, you know, good vibes, which is like, wow, that feels weird.
I feel like we've been in a layer of darkness upon darkness for so long.
It feels weird to hear people talk about, you know, good vibes.
I saw people like freaking out that they're like, oh my God, they're having the Democrat audience chanting USA, like the Democrats are taking back patriotism.
And it was just like, yeah, bugger.
Not going back is also a good slogan that they're going with.
Because it's like, make America great again?
I don't want to live in your America again.
It was bad where you want to go back to.
I don't want to go back to any of this shit.
I don't want to go back to 1800s era abortion laws.
Fuck off!
And yeah, not going back, great slogan in my opinion.
Because Harris is actually running ads in New Hampshire, and I am in the North Shore of Massachusetts, I get a lot of bleed through.
And I see no ads from Trump in this area, but I see lots of pro-Harris ads.
And the tagline they use at the end of the pro Harris ads is, uh, let the future begin.
So it's again, it's again, that turning of the page.
It's that we're doing something different now.
We're doing, we're doing a new thing.
The old men are going away now.
And I just think that's a very smart thing to say.
So, uh, yeah.
Um, but cool.
Like walls, that's the message.
It's like, don't be a fuck.
We're still part of our coalition.
Just don't be a fuck.
I have no skin in that game, so I don't really have an opinion either way.
I've never been to either.
I'm poor, so I don't get to travel.
I have a friend who lives in Myrtle Beach, or in that general vicinity, so I guess I would go Myrtle Beach just out of solidarity with them.
But yeah, I've never been to either.
Myrtle Beach has more of the shine, so I guess just because they've got the publicity, I gotta go with the Myrt on this one.
Same.
Yep.
So sorry, sorry that you hit a myrtle beach in an uninformed sweep.
I live in a city.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
What's up?
Yes.
And Pancake Peasant asks, JFK Jr.
has been terrorizing animals and baffling the community.
It's clear he is an emergent cryptid.
Has there ever been the president is a cryptid conspiracy?
I can't imagine so, because cryptids being like popular popular is like a new phenomenon.
And Donald Trump obviously isn't a cryptid.
He's just sort of like a horrible human being.
And to try to claim that he would be like some sort of extra special monster would be depriving the world of having to acknowledge its worst self.
So we shouldn't do that.
And I feel like calling Obama a cryptid Uh, would be lightly racist, which was our policy when we first conceived of the troop Obama, uh, that we had that one funny artwork of and then never really brought back up because I was just like, ah, I don't know.
It is a funny play on words, but I don't know.
I don't want to, I don't want to be dunking on Obama.
I like Obama.
Are lizard people considered cryptids?
Well, yeah, the Bush family is reptiloids.
I mean, that's been around for forever.
The reptiloids aren't really cryptids because they're more like conspiracy theory, like alien stuff, like stuff that's like demonstrably extraterrestrial, I don't think falls under the cryptid umbrella.
Gotcha.
I'm by no means an expert, but just as somebody who's tangentially familiar with it, I feel like The X-Files was a show about cryptids and aliens, and not just a show about cryptids, because that was the way that went.
So that brings us to our question of the end of every podcast.
What are you guys looking forward to?
I've been painting minis for the new tabletop role-playing game that I'm I'm going to be playing here in about a month.
So I finished up my first one of those, and I have a second one on the way, and I'm going to paint that one up, and it's been fun getting back into painting little things, painting little dudes and buddies.
Hayley, what are you looking forward to?
I'm looking forward to this burrito that I have sitting in the fridge.
It's going to get eaten.
It's going to happen.
I'm there for that.
I'm definitely in favor of like looking forward to a food.
Yesterday I got out of work a little early and then I was like, oh shit, I can go to this, I can go to this place in the San Luis Obispo and get some ribs.
And like the whole drive there, I was like, ah, ribs.
So yeah, I'm definitely understanding of like being, being a fan of my impending feast.
I'm looking forward to the fact that I think we get some preseason football this week.
I get to see the shiny new toy that the Patriots drafted their quarterback.
He might get to chuck the ball around a little bit, probably throw it to the wrong team because he's very raw and very new.
But yeah, so we can begin to get really excited here in New England for our impending 5-12 season, or however.
We literally just had a star-wide receiver.
The Patriots offered a huge draft pick, a player, and a mountain of cash for that guy.
And the team was like, we're okay with it.
Are you okay with it?
And the star receiver was like, no, I don't want to go to New England.
Get fucked, idiots.
So it's like, oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Before Tom Brady could just click his heels and every talented NFL player would rush to wear the flying Elvis.
It only takes a couple of years to go from first to worst, you know?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, we went from hero to zero right quick.
Right quick.
I mean, I'm never going to begrudge it.
I had 20 years of excellence.
I got the four Super Bowl hats on my wall.
So I'm never going to be upset about any of that.
But it's turned.
It's turned real hard, real fast.
So yeah.
All right, that's going to do it for us for this week.
We are going to boot scoot boogie out of Hellworld.
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That's a cool name for a Beautifler baby.
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Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our original theme song, accidentally remixed into what you heard at the top of the show by Mike Rains himself.
Thank you to our buddy Frosty for all of our voiceover work, including all of our bumps with the voice of Q when we need it.
Not that we do anymore!
You can find Frosty on BlueSky at FrostyVO.
You can find the show that you're listening to, The Avengers of Hellworld, on Twitter at Hellworld with a Q instead of an O. I'm over at Twitter again at HellworldFatty, spelled the same way.
You can find Hayley on various social media platforms at ArizonaRightWatcher, AZRW, and Matt Grains on social media, of course, at PokerPolitics.
So for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hell World Podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious Al, joined as always by our expert on all things Arizona Crazy, Hayley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and our expert on all things QAnon Crazy, Mike Rains, aka Pogoran Politics.
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