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Aug. 2, 2024 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:47:16

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #200: Woke Olympics

This week we cover the Woke Olympics and Trump and Vance stepping on more rakes on the election trail. Haley celebrates some good election news out of Arizona and we go over the mailbag. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	[Advert]
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon.
	While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I'm joined as always by Haley, a.k.a.
	Arizona Right Watch.
	Um, hello, everybody.
	Was that in Tran-New?
	Yes, it was.
	Frosty, send that over to me.
	Shut up.
	Yes.
	And I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle.
	Hello, my beautiful babies!
	Yes, I too was surprised by the new bump, so it distracted me from thinking of a dumb place to do.
	Because I usually settle on one of those right before we do it.
	So no voice instead, just a stunned, voiceless intro because of Frosty serving up a new content warning.
	I wonder if Frosty was just like quietly listening to the podcast and just being like, that shit is so old, I could do it better now.
	Seething fury.
	I did not question his reasons.
	He was just like, here you go.
	And I was like, thanks, you're the best.
	So that was that.
	Well, if you're listening, Frosty, thank you.
	But also, I'm calling you out!
	For reasons!
	We need to know!
	Nah, I'm sorry.
	He was just like, hey, I can do better.
	Thank you, Frosty.
	Hell yeah.
	You know what?
	I was going to ask what we wanted to talk about for our little unstructured time here, but I don't really have anything this week because I just kind of want to get in the meat and potatoes.
	Because I feel like once we get talking about the Olympics, there's going to be a bunch of stuff to talk about.
	So do either of you have unstructured stuff time this week?
	Usually I'm dominating it with nonsense.
	Um... I have nothing really, because on everything I've been watching, it's been like, yeah, Olympics, and like, things that just have been getting eaten into the culture war.
	I went to the Vance rally, which I'm sure nobody wants to hear about, at the opener.
	Drinking to Peanuts Vance?
	I remember that.
	I think my one little unstructured silliness was the guy who wrote Babylon 5 actually talked to me on Twitter and it was very funny because he was talking to some other people about a character on the show.
	The final act of that character was kind of like a shocking moment in the history of the show and there were some people like, oh my god, what the hell?
	It led to him engaging with those viewers.
	And then I said to him, I'm like, hey, J. Michael Straczynski, I've heard that the actor wasn't very happy with how his character got written off the show.
	And he was just like, yeah, he wasn't.
	But I warned him the way he was playing the character was probably going to lead to that.
	And I thought that was very weird, like the way that he was just sort of like, I left it ambiguous, but I made it clear that his decisions where he was taking the character were going to lead me to write it in a way that was Probably not going to be great for him in the end.
	That actor can eat my dick and balls.
	Basically, exactly.
	That was it.
	That was exactly how it went.
	Hey, Straczynski, where's our Rising Stars show?
	I mean, come on.
	If the boys could do it, certainly you could do it with Rising Stars.
	And if not Rising Stars, then where's my sexy teen CW Babylon 5?
	What's going on, bro?
	Yeah, I mean, that's all you.
	I never really gave a shit about Babylon 5 when it was on.
	I was one of the everybody because it got, you know, it's not great by the end.
	But my dad, my dear departed pappy, also said great things about Babylon 5.
	It turns out that as I got older, I just realized that I don't really like fucking hard sci-fi.
	I think generally hard sci-fi is boring for me.
	Like, no shade, this is not one of those things that I am just like, my taste is the right taste that the rest of you are idiots.
	I just don't get it, personally.
	I like my sci-fi with some fantasy mixed in.
	I like a Dune or a Star Wars universe, but very few of the actual Star Wars movies or shows.
	What about Star Trek?
	What's your opinion?
	Uh, I mean, we went over this with, like, it seems like the perfect utopia would be sweet to live in, but, like, in terms of shows... You know, I grew up on Next Gen.
	It was cool.
	I didn't give Deep Space Nine enough credit when I was a kid.
	It's good.
	I like it.
	So I'm giving it its credit now.
	Like, from what I've seen, Deep Space Nine ruled it was probably the best one the whole time.
	Uh, First Contact I think is still a great, a great little sci-fi movie.
	Uh, but the rest of Star Trek can just kind of eat my poo.
	Like, I don't give a fuck about it.
	Like, they did this big resurgence with like Picard and the lower decks and yada yada and now it's just like, I don't care about any of this.
	Somebody told Paramount that what the people wanted was, like, two dozen Star Trek properties.
	Those people were fucking wrong.
	We barely want one Star Trek.
	Like, the society that got together were just like, one Star Trek lives in TVs, and one Star Trek lives in movies, but aside from that, Star Trek does not really exist.
	And then Paramount made their own streaming service, and they lost the thread.
	And they were like, no!
	All Star Trek all the time!
	An unlimited amount of Trek.
	Fuck is hot.
	Yeah, get your, get your, fuck is hot.
	Yeah.
	See, I mean, that's, yeah, I don't know.
	I never really fucked with Leonard anymore.
	I always thought he was a kind of weird looking dude.
	I mean, I fucked with him as a guy.
	He was an awesome guy.
	And, uh, I loved hearing him talk on like PBS or whatever back in the day when he wasn't doing Spock shit.
	And he was just like soothingly telling you about stuff.
	Um, but yeah, I was never really attracted to him.
	That's weird.
	To me.
	You know, go off Queen.
	But I'm not a part of this.
	See, we've got something to talk about.
	I'm not a part of Rat Boy Summer, you know?
	Have you been hearing about Rat Boy Summer?
	Who are the key rat boys?
	Is one Timothee Chalamet or is he something else?
	I don't think he's rat enough for it.
	I think he's too conventionally handsome.
	Who's rat?
	So the dude from The Bear.
	He's like too hot.
	It's just like, that guy wouldn't work in a kitchen.
	Adam Driver.
	Adam Driver's like the flag bearer for Ratboy Summer.
	There's another big one too.
	It's just these dudes who like, whose faces are unique in a way that makes them a different type of attractive than conventionally attractive.
	But a lot of people, like, you know, the people that don't vibe with that just see them and are just like, they're fucking ugly, and I don't get it.
	Like, sure, he's got six-pack ass, but what's up with that face, dude?
	And for the most part, I followed in that second camp.
	Not that I don't understand, you know, it's just like, yeah, I mean, I certainly, I wish I had their bodies, which means I am attracted to their bodies, because That's how that goes for me.
	But I'm just like, do I want Adam Driver's face?
	Kind of looks like Ron Watkins.
	Does that mean Ron Watkins is Ratboy Summer?
	Who did you just compare to Ron Watkins?
	Because whoever that is, I mean, they don't know how badly they just got roasted.
	They got roasted as fuck, dude.
	I'm sorry, Adam Driver.
	You don't deserve that.
	Yeah, dude.
	Adam Driver's one of our greatest living actors, like, despite the fact that I think that he does fit the bill as the vanguard of Rap Boy Summer, but he's also just, like, by all accounts, like, a nice and talented dude, so, you know.
	And a bunch of ladies want to bone him, way more than they want to bone me.
	Nobody wants to bone me, so what the fuck do I know?
	Or Ron Watkin.
	Well, I can't speak to that.
	I'm sure there are some ladies that would get down on that, which is unfortunate.
	I'm sure there's some, but... I'm finding out the longer I live on this planet, the more I'm finding out how much of a negative force multiplier being fat is relative to all the other things that would deprive you of relationships and sex or whatever because I've always seen
	people it's just like really this guy's just like a tumbleweed of red flags
	What's the deal? It's just like I don't know. I can't imagine my personality is that wretched
	I have to imagine it's just because I look like the Michelin Man. Anyway, there we go. See?
	Unstructured, uh, uh, ranting time over. Don't worry about me. I'm doing fine being single. Don't take that as some
	sort of desperate cry for help Anyway, let's get on to our amuse-bouche
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
	Dude, what the fuck?
	Same old bump?
	Yeah, sorry.
	That's the problem, Frosty.
	You conditioned me to expect a new bump, so an old bump showed up?
	Devastating.
	All the wind out of my sails.
	You know, maybe I'm not going to be fine after all.
	Maybe I'm devastated now and this podcast is over.
	I appreciate you, Frosty.
	No, I love you, Frosty.
	I mean, I have to love Frosty.
	I sort of lived with him for a few months back in the day, but that's neither here nor there.
	Instead, we have to talk about The Authority.
	I don't know who that is, but whoever they are, they got kicked off of Twitter because Elon's been just like a whiny shit-throwing piss baby this week.
	So what's going on with this?
	Okay, so The Authority is one of my QAnon fans.
	He also hates Michael Flynn, so he's a big...
	Jay Stu loves him.
	He's one of the QAnon promoters that Jay Stu likes to hang out with.
	And apparently what happened was one of the pro-Flynn QAnon promoters was engaging with the Authority and they were having a back and forth and This led to like a, I don't know, basically the guy was baiting him with like, just like, I would assume like, like being like homophobic and stuff like that.
	And eventually in the conversation, eventually the authority sent a tweet that said like, do you want to see my penis?
	And at that point, the guy got all of his friends and they all mass reported authority for attempting to solicit like porn or whatever, or like trying to like something basically about pornography and being like, hey, this guy wants to show me his penis is weird as creep.
	And this got authority suspended from Twitter and couldn't have a new nicer guy.
	He's awful.
	So it was very funny to see this QAnon infighting leading to this guy getting kicked off Twitter.
	Lord knows that when Elon finds out what happened, he'll reinstate him at some point.
	But for the moment, that happened, and it was very funny.
	Do we ever get to see what his hog looked like?
	No.
	Sadly, no hog pics.
	The guy does have a lot of photos of his really terrible QAnon ink.
	He's got his whole chest done, and all this stuff.
	He's got a band of anons on his chest, and a big Q.
	And his tattoo work is suboptimal.
	I'll have to have someone grab photos of his awful ink to show you guys.
	Yeah, no thank you.
	You don't have to do that.
	Well, I want to see it.
	Okay, but I'm all set.
	Okay, fine.
	I don't need to see some random QAnon goon.
	Unless it's like if his ink like is really funny bad and not just like actually bad, you know.
	It's funny, Bat.
	It's like he went to the worst tattoo parlor, and he was just like, yo, yo, yo, yo, homie, fuck me up.
	And the tattooed artist was like, you got it, sir.
	Just absolute, like, low-quality ink just all over his body.
	Just, oh, my God.
	I'm like, buddy, if you're going to get work done like that, like, pay for actual, like, quality.
	No deal.
	Who wants to pay for anything?
	You know, stuff is so expensive.
	Get content, et cetera.
	Yes, clearly not him.
	Oh God, clearly not him.
	But yeah, it was... He and I had a bunch of conversations, and the last of which was him claiming that I defend Michael Flynn a lot.
	And then I was like, when have I ever defended Michael Flynn?
	And he was like, I keep receipts of all my conversations.
	I'm going to show everyone all your defenses of Michael Flynn.
	And I'm like, do it.
	Like, I'm here for you.
	Come at me, bro.
	Yeah, get that dick out.
	Yes!
	You know?
	That's the thing.
	If I'm ever in a fight with someone on Twitter and they're just like, you want to see my dick?
	I'm just like, yeah.
	Get it out.
	Get out your dick.
	Because, you know, if it's a huge, impressive dick, then I'll just continue to bust on you for your stupid political opinion, but heaven forbid you show me a weak dick.
	If you come at me with your weak dick, then the conversation has changed.
	And it's your fault.
	You know?
	Because I didn't ask for your dick to enter chat.
	You solicited that.
	Yes.
	You were the one who was like, I want to make my dick part of this conversation.
	And I'm like, yeah, it's really not great.
	This is suboptimal at best.
	So, yeah.
	What is it about dudes just wanting to show people their dick?
	I wish I could have turned that part of my brain off back when it was trying to get into trouble.
	I was never really a dick pic guy.
	Like, unbidden, certainly never.
	But even when bitten, I was always just like, eh, I don't know.
	Like, this is like, mine is pretty just stock standard.
	There's not really a ton to write home about.
	Uh, after dark.
	Uh, okay.
	Uh, so that is... Let people judge.
	Yeah.
	See, the thing is, I'm not, I'm not trying to invite that kind of smoke, you know?
	Uh, that, that, that, like, my penis is now for lovers only.
	Okay, so the authority was somebody getting kicked off of Twitter, comma, positive, which I didn't know, because I had no idea.
	However, in the other corner, getting kicked off of Twitter, common negative, is Elon being a piss baby, as I mentioned earlier.
	And apparently going after the white dudes for Harris, who were Chexidotes, just some dudes, raising money for Harris.
	But then they all got their dicks out, so, right?
	Well, as we found out as we move into the Olympics, genital verification is vital to Republicans.
	So yes.
	Basically, there was a Twitter account called White Dudes for Harris.
	The tag was dudes4harris.
	And they started a giant zoom call that got tons of people on it to all talk about how they were going to be working for to elect Kamala Harris to the presidency.
	And they raised $3.7 million over the course of the zoom call.
	And at the end of the zoom call, the account got suspended.
	And Twitter's excuse for this was that it was ban-evading.
	They claimed that someone on the account had been previously banned and now this new account was a ban-evasion account.
	So I made a Twitter thread of a bunch of QAnon promoters that are currently on ban-evasion accounts that are not banned because ban-evasion is selectively enforced because Elon's a lying piece of shit.
	Yeah, I can think of a lot of people who are currently banivading who got personally unbanned from Elon, so I don't know what the fuck... I'll tell you, banivasion or no, like, I keep seeing people retweeting stuff from accounts such as, like, you know, rape nwords88 or whatever, like, just flat out, like, you know, just really got really... How many of these horrible things can I smash into one username and still be on Twitter?
	How many Paul Gosar interns can there possibly be online?
	More than you can count.
	More than you can count.
	Oh god, I saw someone with the angry goose chasing somebody meme.
	And the two panels were, were you born in 1988?
	And then the goose chased him.
	Were you born in 1988, motherfucker?
	And it's like, yeah.
	That's the only justifiable reason why you got 88 in your fucking handle.
	Literally do that math every time I see a profile.
	If I see a profile on any social media and there's 88 in there, I'm doing math.
	I'll fucking bang into your Facebook about info.
	I'll go boomer book on it.
	I'll find that DOB because you're too stupid to keep that private.
	And that'll do math.
	If that math doesn't check out the board of the year 1988, then we ain't got nothing to say.
	Like, you know?
	That is a wrap for us.
	Yeah, we're done here.
	We are done here.
	Okay, so certainly Elon showed receipts, right?
	He was like, this guy's band evading, here's the receipt.
	Like, this is totally above board, and I'm definitely not just doing it for political reasons.
	Like, come on!
	I mean, he's a free speech absolutionist!
	Absolute free speech!
	Actually, they just reinstated the account and then they claimed, oh sorry, that was an automated mistake.
	Our bad.
	We totally didn't mean to do that.
	Account reinstated due to PR disaster.
	Peter just asked about possible legal ramifications.
	Especially because, by all accounts, Twitter is like six people that are losing money right now.
	They're all just pulling levers and just being like, oh god.
	And there's like four executives at the top who still have golden parachutes that are going to be just fine.
	Yeah, and great job on behalf of Elon, the Striazian, the shit out of this account, because when they got suspended, they had around 13,000 followers, and now they have over 100,000 followers.
	Nailed it.
	Excellent job signal boosting the account.
	Great job, Elon.
	Great job.
	Man, you know how, like, pleased I am to... I was talking about this with Mike earlier.
	I'm pleased to have been wrong about the Kamala thing, because I was just like, oh god, like, if Sleepy Joe drops out and Kamala gets put up there, then, like, the Democratic Party's gonna fucking scramble to get their shit together, and we need a unified front to beat the almost-assassinated Donald Trump.
	Well, it turns out that Donald Trump is on his continued spiral into dementia, and it's just gonna say any old thing that's gonna get a negative sound clip these days.
	And, more importantly, Democrats rallied together behind our girl Kamala, and there's a genuine swell of optimism behind it, which is pretty exciting.
	The Cardi B rally was quite... Oh no, it was Megan Thee Stallion.
	It was Megan Thee Stallion.
	Oh, that was the best, because one of the Q&A... Jezebels.
	Jezebels.
	The right pretending it was bad when it was like, she looks great, it's a great performance.
	Jezebels shaking their beautiful, luscious, forbidden black buttocks in my face.
	It's just like, oh, you're just horny.
	You're just angry because you're horny.
	It's like, no, I hate her beautiful, gorgeous body.
	Uh, yeah.
	One guy was just like, yo, Putin, Xi, launch the nukes, we don't deserve anything.
	It's like, you have to be so racist to look at Megan Thee Stallion and think to yourself, America needs to be destroyed.
	This is unacceptable.
	What is wrong with you?
	Oh my god.
	They're putting in our faces, Mike.
	And our faces weren't safe this whole week.
	But we'll get into that when we get into the news and how dangerous it was to our whole faces.
	But in the meantime, we'll just continue to, you know, say, well done, Elon, for being a stupid fucking moron and for still producing white dudes for Harris.
	And well done, hopefully, the future of our democracy.
	Let's get Harris over the goal line.
	President Harris, let's go!
	This time, it's a woman that we can actually be like, yeah, that would actually be pretty cool!
	Versus last time when it was just like, yeah, I mean, I guess the other guy's really bad, so we'll accept this.
	So, what a time to be alive.
	Anyway, you know what's weird?
	The GOP, what a bunch of weird weirdos.
	And especially weird about these weird weirdos is that apparently it really just get like, this whole time, all we needed to get under their skin was to just be like, hey man, you guys are fucking weird.
	And it seems to really have ruffled their feathers.
	Mike, Edward, Haley, we want to talk about how the GOP has reacted to being called weird.
	By being even more fucking weird.
	It's so awesome.
	They're being extra weird in response.
	Yeah.
	It is really funny how this attack is so simple and so devastating to them.
	They just hate it.
	They hate the fact that they're being called out on their bullshit in a way that is insulting.
	Because when you actually go at them about the issue in question, which is always something, again, freakish, it's always this bizarre thing, which we're going to get into a lot of this stuff in the headlines.
	But when you try to get into the actual nuts and bolts about Hey uh Kamala Harris isn't black or that fighter is actually a cis woman or that kind of stuff you're in a way playing on their field because they're dictating the like the argument but if you just say you shouldn't be talking about that why are you even concerned about that that's weird
	Then there's like, no!
	My sick obsession with gender is normal!
	What are you talking about?
	It's like, no, no.
	You thinking about lady dicks constantly is weird.
	It's actually really weird, sir.
	Yeah, it turns out that like, you know...
	The way that I've sarcastically been doing it on our podcast for a long time is just the way to go.
	Like, I'm always just like, these people are- you can't point out that they're hypocrite- that they're hypocrites.
	They're immune to that.
	So, like, how else do you attack them?
	You just fucking- you just say that they're dumbfuck weird losers, that, like, their confederate flag that they worship so much is, like, literally the flag of a bunch of stupid dorks that got their asses battled by a better force, uh, that became the fucking USA bitch, love it or leave it, and, like, how are they going to respond to that, you know?
	Like, they're just going to be like, ah, but trans issues.
	And I'm just like, dude, the fact that the amount of time that you've been obsessing over genitals,
	especially kid genitals, it's fucking weird, dude.
	It's weird.
	Sit down, weirdo.
	Like motion to make the weirdo shut up.
	Sit down.
	Also, I'll just say, I think it's a easily digestible argument
	to like any normal person.
	Cause I don't think a lot of people always understand like just how to come back at you with like a counter argument
	when you're like gish galloped to all hell by some freak right winger.
	And also, just sometimes you're like, I don't even fully get what you're doing here, but I know you're being fucking weird.
	You know?
	It's just like, I don't understand all the mechanisms of fascism, that you're being a weird Christian nationalist repeating this rhetoric, that rhetoric, quoting this book.
	You're just sounding fucking weird.
	And I'm just gonna leave it at that.
	And the GOP, caught with their pants down yet again by this devastating attack of calling them weird, resorted to the tried and true tactic of, well, I'm rubber and you're glue.
	And actually, you were the weird one, to which Culture as a whole seemed to have just been like, we have enough receipts to say, uh, no backseas.
	And they're just like, now we're in the phase where they would just, they've just been hit with the no backseas.
	And everyone's just like, uh, your vice presidential candidate, like, fucked a couch.
	And the AP News article that they had to put up to say, actually, no, this guy didn't fuck a couch, when they found out that that was no longer verifiably accurate, had to retract that statement.
	So, as far as the AP is concerned, JD Vance may or may not have fucked a couch.
	And that's fucking weird, dude.
	Like, and the fact that he admitted it in a book is weird.
	Like, a lot of people have skeletons like that in their closet.
	We all know that we've fucked weird stuff.
	But you don't write a book about it and then claim it never happened.
	It's weird behavior.
	There was a role-playing game that I played a long time ago called Deadlands, and it has some problematic themes in it.
	But the thing that was really cool in that game was, like, what ability would fight another ability in a contest?
	So if you try to bluff, it's your bluff ability against your opponent's perception ability.
	Like, you're trying to bullshit someone, do they see through your bullshit?
	So they had all these different, like, checklists.
	But the one thing that always stuck with me was the ability of ridicule.
	The counter ability to ridicule was ridicule.
	So it was literally, do you know how to deliver a joke?
	Because if you do, you know how to take a joke.
	And thus, that is the battle.
	It's like, I hit you with a zinger.
	Are you able to resist being zinged?
	Yes, no.
	And it's like, you have to understand that headspace to do it.
	Which is one of the main reasons why Republicans are so bad at this, because they hate ridicule.
	They can't stand it.
	They have no reaction to it.
	Their ridicule level is, like, zero.
	So if you are skilled at mockery and derision, you can just land hit after hit after hit on them, and they have no answer except for what Elle said, which is, No, I remember your clue!
	Stop ridiculing me!
	Well, now that we know how effective petty insults are, I'm just gonna say, they better count their fucking lucky stars that liberals are not homophobic, because otherwise, a lot of them would also be sus.
	There are a lot of people there who are weird, and there are a lot of people who would be sus, and there's a Venn diagram of people who are both weird and sus.
	But, again, since we're not homophobes, we don't care about people being quote-unquote sus, aside from the fact that it's just like, live your truth, homies, you know?
	It doesn't have to be, it doesn't just have to be in the stalls at the RNC.
	You could like love each other outside, you know, like in the open under the sunshine.
	That was the punch that the Arizona GOP kind of did was like actually the Democrats are weird and they're like look at all these instances of them hanging out with LGBTQ people and drag queens and it's just like Crazy, look at this list of people that are conservative who keep getting arrested for child pornography.
	Look at it!
	For like, just acting like queer people are like, lesser than.
	Like, I think the most normal people can differentiate between like, you're weird derogatory versus you're weird positive, you know?
	Like, punks are weird, but some of them are cool.
	Some drag queens And people in the drag art, some of it may come off as weird, but it's like cool weird, not bad weird.
	Yeah, like Orgothic?
	Somebody needs to give me a seminar on how that counts as drag.
	Because Orgothic's thing is cool as fuck, but she just seems like a spooky bug out of an H.R.
	Giger fever dream.
	Like, I guess it's erotic.
	Anyway, that's Edith Herridor there, talking about drag queens that we like or don't like.
	I'm going to eat my lunch now because this is going to be a segment.
	talk about is the beautiful and sunny state of Arizona, a great state that we all love and we
	never talk any shit about because we love it so much. Hi Haley, Arizona correspondent Haley aka
	Arizona Right Watch who's always here to tell us about what's going on in Arizona. What's going on
	in Arizona? I'm gonna eat my lunch now because this is gonna be a segment. You got stuff to say.
	Um well we had a couple of uh events back to back.
	On Tuesday, we had... Okay, well, thanks, Hayley.
	Anyway, moving on to headlights.
	No, but that'd be great.
	After all that buildup, I was just like, nah, fuck that.
	Okay, sorry.
	No furl this time.
	No, it's okay.
	Primary.
	We had the primary.
	And then the next day, J.D.
	Vance came to town.
	So I'll just go through kind of some of the worst of the worst and the best of the best in terms of the primary.
	Let's see.
	Uh, we'll just start with it.
	Blake Masters lost, which is pretty awesome in my opinion.
	Cause like there was a funny thing that happened the day before the primary, basically it was like two days before the primary.
	Um, Trump had already endorsed his opponent, Abe Hamaday, who, um, ran last, uh, like during the 2020 mid term, uh, 2022 midterm, um, he ran for attorney general.
	And then similar to Carrie Lake did a bunch of like cracking lawsuits to kind of like, you know, quote unquote overturn his election and it never panned out.
	He got the Trump endorsement early months ago and like has been kind of Attacked by Blake Masters, like, for being a Muslim, and he's not married and doesn't have any children, so Blake Masters has been kinda like, kinda hinting, like, you're gay!
	And... Or at the very least just has no stake in the future of America.
	Yeah, he was doing a lot of that, like, you, uh, you know, you should at least have kids to be an elected official.
	And it's like, you've never won anything, shut up.
	Um, but, um, and then he put up these really, like, Islamophobic signs all throughout the district that they were running in, uh, that was like Abe Hamaday in front of Mecca, like, dressed in the traditional, like, robe, and it said basically that he was gonna, like, You know, issue Sharia law in CD8, which is hilarious.
	I mean, not hilarious is bad, but it's just like, what a campaign to think is going to work.
	And then that same district was where Chansley, Jacob Chansley, the Q Shaman, was like considering running, but he never got enough signatures or like did any of that.
	But that race also had Trent Franks, who was a disgraced lawmaker here because he basically sexually assaulted his staff.
	He asked them to have his babies, but like the traditional way.
	And he would pay them.
	And then... That was a great way to deliver that.
	The traditional way.
	And he'd pay them.
	Yeah.
	And then Anthony Kern, who was that guy that was babbling in tongues on the Senate floor a few months ago over some abortion stuff.
	So yeah, that race was a little bit wild.
	And then Blake Masters, obviously, who's just a teal puppet similar to J.D.
	Vance.
	And basically the day before the primary, Trump also endorsed Masters.
	So he had already endorsed Abe Hamaday.
	And the Trump campaign even got on Blake Masters a few months ago because Masters was saying he was endorsed by Trump.
	And they're like, no, no, no.
	We endorsed you last election.
	Take that off.
	And then, like, endorsed him last minute.
	But I think this was kind of like, um, like J.D.
	Vance maybe kind of helped push for this because, you know, they're all buddies, like the Teal Vance team.
	Yeah, this is like when Trump endorsed Eric in Missouri and both guys named Eric were like, it's me!
	He's endorsing me!
	It was the greatest, greatest bitch ass endorsement in the history of politics.
	So Masters is out.
	He actually almost got third.
	He did not do good.
	People do not like this guy.
	They don't like this personality, which I think is kind of good as far as Trump picking Vance because that means that I think kind of a lot of people are turned off by the Vance Teal Masters personality, but we'll see.
	Anyways.
	Wendy Rogers unfortunately won her race.
	That was pretty close.
	She's the white supremacist lawmaker here who's been at the Nick Fuentes rally.
	She was facing an election, a primary from just a kind of more traditional shitty Republican and it was actually pretty close because I think people are sick of her shit and she endorsed and was continuing to support the guy who was claiming falsely to be a Vietnam pilot, vet, or some shit, Steve Slayton, who lost his election.
	He was running against Walt Blackman, who has praised the Proud Boys, a rally that I've been to, a Justice for January 6th rally.
	Steve Slayton was like he owns the Trump store here, which is a Trump themed store.
	And he was the guy that Carrie Lake recently kind of got in some hot water for because she gave a rally speech in front of a Confederate flag that was at his store.
	And then, yeah, he was claiming that he was a Vietnam vet when he was not.
	He also had some audio leaked where Uh, he previously called Walt Blackman, um, the N-word.
	Oh wait, no.
	He called another Black lawmaker the N-word, David Marshall.
	But David Marshall and Walt Blackman both won the seat, uh, that Steve Slayton was also trying for.
	So it's two people, get the seat, move forward.
	Um, and it was Blackman and, uh, Marshall.
	So two Black Republicans beat the guy who was Colin Marshall the N-word, and also falsely claiming power.
	So, pretty cool there.
	I mean, I guess, you know, in terms of like, at least that guy doesn't move forward.
	Oh, just a few extremists that lost.
	Robert Wallace, he is the chapter lead of the hate group Gays Against Groomers here.
	He lost his seat.
	He actually got last place in Fountain Hills for town council, which is just so fucking funny.
	Last place.
	Damn it, if I had the clap sound wave already, I would have played it for that.
	Um, former sheriff Joe Arpaio was running for Fountain Hills mayor.
	Uh, he is a racist piece of shit who, uh, admittedly ran concentration camps here in the Valley and is kind of who like the, this modern, incredibly racist Trump era immigration policies.
	Models a lot of their stuff off of is the Arpaio era.
	He's 92 years old.
	People, every time he runs, people are like, he's still alive?
	And that's how people always like realize he's still alive.
	And yes, he is unfortunately still alive.
	And he will not die.
	And he keeps running for shit and losing, which is great.
	He also works with the Groipers here.
	There's like a group of Groipers here that They basically puppet this man.
	They weakened at Bernie's him.
	So he's living his life good towards the end, keeping up with the piece of shit that he lived in his younger years.
	He's like the right wing Nazi version of the Mike Gravel presidential campaign.
	There's a white supremacist law, a former lawmaker here named David Stringer,
	who resigned in disgrace when it was uncovered that he, uh, molested a couple
	of children, um, including a disabled boy.
	So, and he's also an incredibly racist white supremacist.
	He was, he kept having controversies for basically saying like the most racist
	shit, uh, possible, and he was like, you know, he goes to like white
	supremacist rallies and stuff.
	He's a fuckin' piece of shit.
	He lost.
	He was running for Yavapai County Attorney, which is great.
	Some upsets, though.
	Probably the most biggest upset is that Stephen Richer lost.
	He's been primaried out.
	And he lost to... Stephen Richer is the Maricopa County Recorder, who Was kind of like last Republican standing here, the guy that was just like, no, the election was not stolen.
	And in return got just death threats and incredible threats on his life that resulted in, you know, actual convictions and kind of became like a so-called hero of democracy here.
	And he lost his seat.
	Turning point, action.
	Political Harm of Turning Point USA focused hard on this race and pushed this guy, Justin Heap, who is a nightmare.
	I've seen him at a Moms for Liberty event, so that's all you need to know about that fucking guy.
	And he was complaining about his kid's English teacher for saying that America committed war crimes during Vietnam and used Agent Orange.
	And it's like, okay, this guy's like actually stupid.
	So that's who the Republican candidate for recorder will be.
	This seat needs to flip if, you know, this is probably one of the most important Elections in Arizona is going to be this Recorder Race.
	His Dem opponent will be Tim Stringham, everybody, so get used to that fucking name.
	I rarely do this, but Tim Stringham.
	Get him, Tim.
	Get him.
	Yeah, get him, Tim.
	And Carrie Lake won, but she did not Do as good as projected by far.
	She had to get like a solid kind of 70%, 65% of the vote against Mark Lamb to have a solid set, like, win in November.
	And she, I mean, it was pretty close.
	He got like 40%.
	So she did not do as good as projected by far.
	So she's, congratulations Ruben Gallego.
	And then one final great news is that Justine Wodczak... That's who I was waiting for!
	I've been waiting for the Wodczak update this whole time!
	Justine Wodczak had a bad day on Primary Day.
	was pulled over at the beginning of the year for going like 75 in a 30 zone and got pulled over and immediately was like I'm a lawmaker you can't do this I have legislative immunity and now that sessions is over she got like she's good she's gonna get in legal trouble for it And I was like notified that she was gonna in legal trouble for it and she went on this long rant basically saying she was being persecuted by the cops so the Arizona Fraternal Order the police pulled their endorsement and then on election day she was formally charged and then she lost her fucking seat and
	And this woman's a nightmare.
	She's like a QAnon posting.
	She went after the Arizona School for the Deaf and Blind here.
	She has said really, really awful things about homeless people.
	is very conspiratorial.
	She called Yuvalde a false flag.
	She's engaged in like 9-11 is a false flag stuff.
	And she's just in general like there was a recall attempted against her and she started like trying to dock some of the people that were doing the recall.
	So she's like a far-right extremist and she's out.
	So that is the Arizona primary.
	Yay!
	Yay! We did it.
	I think that Vinny Vance was coming here kind of to boost the Masters.
	Like, I think he was...
	The Masters race he doesn't need any...
	He wouldn't have needed any boosting because that is gonna be a red seat no matter what.
	But I feel like if Masters won when JD came here yesterday, that Masters was gonna get paraded out as the next big thing.
	That didn't happen, and honestly, there's not much to say about the Vance rally.
	He's incredibly boring, and I think there's been a lot of rumors like, Who, who convinced Trump to pick Vance?
	Because it's not a good pick.
	And like, the stars of the rally yesterday were a bunch of turning point people who don't even live here.
	And then Charlie Kirk introed Vance.
	And he kind of took credit for starting like the Vance phenomenon or like helping boost the Vance phenomenon early.
	Charlie Kirk and Don Jr.
	are like BFFs, so it kind of feels like Turning Point had a big hand in this decision, which is hilarious because they are not very successful in picking candidates, and Charlie Kirk is kind of even somewhat hated by his own party in some cases, so...
	A good choice all around.
	It was a very uneventful... One guy got kicked out.
	He wasn't even doing anything.
	He just had a Kamala shirt on, but people snitched on him and had security remove him.
	Nothing really exciting happened.
	Oh, there was a guy that did the very detailed recreation of the This is Spartacene from 300.
	Oh yeah, I saw that guy that ran around and kicked someone.
	It was crazy.
	He got a full head of steam and then he kicked the person.
	I mean, what are we doing?
	That was not great.
	300.
	I mean, Haley made it pretty clear what they were doing.
	Mike?
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	You're right.
	My bad.
	They were doing This is Sparta from 300?
	Mike?
	Oh, right.
	My bad.
	My bad.
	But yeah, that's about it.
	That's Arizona for the week, so there you go.
	Yay!
	Well, I'm just glad that Blake Masters and Wodzak lost.
	I didn't get updates on Wodzak, but I saw that Masters was losing, and I was like, yes!
	Ah, man.
	He's going to have to go find some guns and a couch to just get freaky with after all this, because that's what those guys do.
	You know why?
	Because they're weird.
	And dolphins.
	Yes, and dolphins.
	They're weird.
	They're fucking weird.
	That weird kid.
	You fucking weird kid.
	What the fuck, dude?
	You kidding me?
	This fucking guy.
	This fucking guy just over here.
	Anyway, let's go into some Q's in the News.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
	Alright, in case you've been living under a rock, you may have realized that there's an Olympics on, y'all!
	And of course, we can't have anything nice, including things that are really kind of nice, like the Olympics.
	I mean, let's be real, the Olympics has a lot of problems.
	But we can't even have the nice part of the Olympics without a bunch of dumb fucks coming in and trying to ruin it.
	But this podcast is about dumb fucks, so we have to talk about it.
	So Mike, let's break down some dumb fuckery for this week.
	So we opened with the opening ceremony, which was a satanic ritual, according to a lot of people who are incredibly fucking stupid.
	Well, there was a person who was red and they had a decapitated head.
	How is that not satanic?
	Because that's Marie Antoinette, the famous French queen who was guillotined for being part of the decadent royals, who said, let them eat cake and all that good bullshit.
	And you would think that All these right-wing populists who hate the elites would maybe know a thing or two about history, but no, they didn't.
	And they were all pissing and moaning about how this was obviously satanic.
	Andrew Tate and a bunch of other dumb fuck morons were screaming and yelling.
	about this, about the Marie Antoinette satanic message, which again, not satanic, French history, you morons.
	They literally opened with like the Assassin's Creed character parkouring all the way around France.
	Okay, Mike, we get it.
	You have some receipts for this one.
	Fair enough.
	But how can you explain that shameful drag depiction of the Last Supper featuring our Lord Jesus Christ?
	Okay, but first, the Gojira performance was badass.
	Look, we can all agree that Gojira being there was pretty sweet.
	It was super cool.
	Yeah, that performance was awesome.
	I mean, like, yeah.
	Granted, you can't find any footage of it that doesn't have a bunch of dumb fucks talking over it, which is... I don't know.
	It's like, can I just get the feed of the good... I don't need to hear, like... And I'm just like, okay, I get it.
	You're French.
	Shut up.
	Let me hear Gojira.
	You know?
	Like, I don't like a lot of metal.
	This slaps.
	Shut your fucking French mouths.
	But no, that was not to be.
	Anyway, back to it.
	Oh yeah, featuring our Lord Jesus Christ, The Last Supper.
	It could be nothing else.
	And they wear drag, Mike!
	Drag!
	Yeah, this was a Greek festival that was not The Last Supper.
	This was based off of ancient Greece, you know, where the Olympics came from.
	All that good stuff.
	And yeah, the blue guy was Dionysus, the god of fertility and wine and all that good stuff.
	Uh, so this had nothing to do with Jesus in the Last Supper and being blasphemous.
	Uh, one of the other big things that came up from this scene was there was a, there was a guy in the background who was wearing like, hot pants, basically.
	And a bunch of right-wingers were like, this dude's balls are hanging out, look!
	And they would like, focus on this area of his, where his pants connected to his, to his stockings.
	Enhancing the area of pictures of this man's groin.
	Enhancing and staring deeply at it in a way that is neither weird nor sus.
	We promise.
	Totally above board.
	Just so much on the timeline.
	Just people zooming into people's crotches.
	Yeah, the Olympics, it's been a crotch full Olympics.
	We'll get into that further.
	But it all started with this guy with his big smooth balls hanging out.
	His big smooth balls that seemed just as smooth as a thigh would be if a thigh was there, but it wasn't.
	It was balls.
	We spent a lot of time looking at it.
	A lot of time.
	And I will say that because of those people, I looked at it and it looked like it was a hole in his stocking and that was just his thigh.
	It did not look very ball-like to me.
	I'm on team not balls.
	Okay, well, fair enough.
	Your photo evidence trickery may fool some lesser people, but what about Snoop Dogg being there, Mike?
	Destroying the sanctity of our Torchbearing Ceremony, Snoop Dogg was there.
	How do you explain that?
	He's Snoop, he rules.
	Ah, so you admit that he was black!
	No.
	No, because of course the next thing I need to be offended by is how do you explain those women that have to box those towering men, Mike?
	Those huge men!
	Okay, so this was today's literal outrage of the century.
	If you are not listening to this on Thursday, August 1st, you might be thinking to yourself, what are they talking about?
	Because these lunatics will have probably moved on to something else by tomorrow.
	But today, oh my god, today, are you going to hear about this boxing match involving a woman from Algeria.
	Algeria, which is a aggressively oppressive nation where they crush LGBTQ identity.
	You cannot claim to be trans or gay.
	You obviously can't transition.
	As a child.
	That's very important.
	You can't transition as a child, as these people would love to bring up.
	And, uh, this woman who, uh, was in this fight, her name is, uh, Imane Kempfer.
	I'm getting it totally wrong, I'm sure, because I have not heard the name.
	I've only read it a million times.
	But she won her fight today, uh, via first round knockout.
	And the woman that she beat basically quit almost immediately after getting booped in the snoot.
	And this led to all kinds of outrage from everyone on God's green earth.
	That the Algerian woman was a man and that this is totally unacceptable that we've got men fighting women.
	And Donald Trump and J.D.
	Vance have both jumped in on this and stated that when they're president, they won't allow foreign nations fighting each other in the Olympics to have men fighting women.
	Because that's something the American president has control over.
	And I think J.D.
	Vance even went to say, like, Kamala Harris's policies will lead to this!
	Which, what are you talking about?
	On what planet is this anything that the American president deals with?
	Lauren Bobert has started a GoFundMe to make up for the financial loss of her not getting the medal.
	Or like winning the fight.
	Which is, yeah, yeah.
	My favorite part of that fight was when the lady who gave up, presumably because she thought her opponent was too masculine.
	I mean, she's claiming that she was just like, my nose hurts, so I had to quit.
	It's just like, really?
	Because if you like wallowed around in the ring sobbing for a little while, it didn't seem like it was in pain.
	It seemed like you were anguished that you were instructed to give up.
	or whatever, you know, like, I don't know what the politics were behind that, but I'm just like,
	yeah, I don't know, cry more. Like, like, like, this, this boxing match has got a bunch of people
	telling this poor woman that they're essentially just being like, you're too fucking ugly to be
	a woman, you have to be a guy. You're too big and fucking ugly. It's like, um, some women just,
	like, have higher levels of testosterone.
	Which, by the way, is within the bounds of the testing for this event that's happening.
	Because, do you have to test those levels now?
	Because we've been down this road before, like, eight years ago or whatever, with Caster's alumna, when their life got ruined.
	Because they were just like, you're too fucking ugly to be a woman.
	You're obviously a guy.
	And they're just like, well, no, I'm a woman, biological female, vagina and all that.
	I do have some residual testes or whatever that produce additional hormone inside of me.
	And they're just like, well, that's all we need to hear.
	Big swinging dick is what you've got.
	And it's just like, no, I didn't say that.
	That's not what that means.
	Yeah.
	So what this is all about, literally what started all of this shit was that the former governing body of international boxing, the IBA, They said that this woman and another woman had testosterone levels too high to fight.
	They've suspended them.
	The IBA is based out of Russia.
	There have been a lot of accusations of corruption against them and the fact that they're probably a shitty, horrible organization anyways.
	So what happened was the IOC, the Olympic Committee, You know what?
	The IBA no longer is the governing body of international amateur boxing.
	We will carry that burden ourselves.
	So the IOC was the ones who handled all the testing and all the requirements for Olympic boxing this year.
	And they approved all the fighters.
	So if you're upset about this, talk to the IOC about it.
	And the funny part about all of this is at the end of all of it, even before this all happened, even before today, the IOC told boxing in general, yo, clean up your shit because we are not in the business of regulating sports.
	We're in the business of stealing money from host nations while we sell the Olympics to them and get a huge cut.
	So some governing agency needs to take over boxing for 2028.
	Or guess what?
	Male and female boxing will not be a part of the Olympics that year.
	So boxing, get your shit together.
	And so right now, boxing is trying to create a governing agency to be able to be like, yo, IOC, we're not a corrupt Putin-backed scumbag organization.
	We can handle running boxing for the next Olympics.
	And if they pass muster and bribe the IOC enough, they'll be allowed to do that.
	This has nothing to do with a woman being trans or anything.
	This is just literal shit throwing at a wall based on one regulatory body saying no and another one saying yes.
	No one is disputing the fact that Iman, or Imane, however you say it, and I apologize for not getting the name right, Uh was was assigned female at birth and has been a woman her whole life and any of that like I'm seeing idiots online literally posting photos like pointing at bulges in her trunks being like not trans it's like no not trans actually not trans you're just totally wrong about this shut up you're full of shit
	I like that some people have been trying to mention, like, you know, just say, like, you're talking about a cis woman, and then they have the ding, like, that's like an appropriate, like, you know, like you use a slur, basically.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's why whenever I deal with this, I have to type in AFAB because I know cis will get dinged.
	It's so ridiculous.
	I can't wait for Elon to ban AFAB also.
	Also, I, uh... There's certainly just, like, a femininity component to it, obviously, because I don't really see a lot of fucking smoke being blown about, like, who is it?
	Is it the Chinese women's basketball team that has someone who's 7'1", or whatever, and, like, is just, like, you know, like, obviously just, like, a very tall woman?
	Like, so far I haven't heard a lot of people just being like, what's up with this big dick Chinese guy?
	They're, like, playing basketball, but, like...
	Because it's just, like, slightly easier, like, at a distance to be like, oh, that person has traditional, like, female features.
	I will accept their tallness.
	Versus, like, no, I rebuke their tallness in favor of thinking that they are male.
	There's also a trans man competing.
	There's a trans male boxer, yes.
	There's a trans male boxer fighting, yeah, which is... They don't want to talk about that.
	Yeah, dude, it's cool if you throttled down your cool testosterone, bro.
	I mean, like, you know, testosterone, like, yeah, obviously you'd have to scale something back if you wanted to compete, you know?
	There's this assumption that, like, if a woman just has more testosterone due to some type of medical reason, like, she's just gonna be an Olympian, like...
	There's a lot of like pretty common like like like like PCOS it's like polycystic ovary syndrome that's like an incredibly common thing that a lot of women get. And it's like that makes you
	produce more testosterone.
	And it's like, yeah, all of those people are Olympians, not just like have a hurt tummy.
	And also, for the record, like if there is a scientific evidence to back up the fact that
	having like jacked up testosterone levels will allow you to rocket punch a poor,
	lesser testosteroneed up woman in the boxing ring, then, you know, maybe we need to,
	that is what a regulatory board is for.
	So, we circle back to what Mike said, which is, hey, somebody get the- pull your fucking heads out of your ass boxing, and like, get on this, and like, back up enough data- like, get enough data to back up your stance where it's just like, here's the bar we have to set for testosterone levels, and here's why.
	Because otherwise it's gonna be like one of those crash test W footage videos, because apparently just having extra testosterone makes you a monster.
	Or whatever.
	Yeah, and that's something that's so dumb about all of this is that her record going into this fight was nine wins and five losses.
	She's like barely, she's two, now she's two to one in wins versus losses.
	Yeah, but she's killed seven opponents.
	Wait, no.
	I hear that that's not true.
	And yeah, and today's knockout, or technical knockout, was her first knockout win in international fights.
	So she had gone 14 fights before this, and all of those fights had ended in a decision.
	So it wasn't like her testosterone was giving her just Mike Tyson-level power, and she was just... It was giving her Mike Tyson-like aura, and that's why her opponent needed to concede.
	My God, the aura!
	Yeah, she was so intimidated.
	It's obviously not true.
	All the aura was at the shooting competition.
	Yes!
	Once Simone and the Ladies Gymnastics Team was done, it was like, first it was Superman and the Men's Gymnastics Team, then it was Simone doing her thing, and the Ladies Gymnastics Team obviously crushing it.
	But then all aura in the universe was sucked to the shooting competition.
	Yes, can we get all incredible poses to the shooting competition immediately?
	Yes, including that 51 year old guy.
	He's going to be maybe the best.
	I sent you a photo that I could find of that guy.
	Incredible guy.
	He's the people's champion.
	Oh, I was telling Elle before we did the pod.
	That is like the ultimate couple's Halloween outfit.
	You get the wife and the South Korean lady with the crazy everything, and then you have the husband just wearing a t-shirt that says Terkayeh on it, and he's just got regular glasses.
	So the husband gets to do the low effort shit while the wife gets to dress up.
	It's perfect.
	My favorite part is that like all those photos coming out of the shooting competition, like All those athletes, those photos that are coming out of them are 9.9, 9.8, just some of the greatest, coolest-looking photos ever.
	And they're all significantly worse.
	There's just no way for any photo I could imagine to top Surfer Guy.
	Surfer Guy's photo is an incredible moment in sports history.
	I love that photo.
	If you have not seen the surf photo from the Olympics, you should check it out.
	I wish I knew the athlete's name.
	But he comes out of this wave knowing that he is crushing it so hard that he, like, comes off the top of this wave, lets his board go, and begins to float vertically for a while in, like, a standing up pose, just putting out the number one defiantly.
	And somebody captured it perfectly, where he just looks like he's standing on air above this wave with the number one and, like, his surfboard, like, hovering in the background behind him.
	Fucking such a crazy shot.
	I have not seen this, and I just typed it into Twitter, and my first result was porn, so I'm gonna go ahead and... Yeah, you might just want to Google this one.
	Like, Twitter might not be the best bet.
	You've actually typed this whole one into Google.
	I didn't, like, turn on or anything.
	Anyway, the Olympics have slapped.
	I love the return of Rubik's Cube guy, especially because Clark Kent's Superman on those even bars.
	No, not even bars.
	Pommel horse.
	Pommel horse, there we go.
	Yeah, I always get all those terms confused because I only watch Olympics once every four years.
	Anyway, but, unfortunately, we have to move on to politics of the world.
	Specifically, the region of the world known as Venezuela, where there is an election fracas happening right now.
	Fracas, Edward, ruckus.
	Arrakis!
	Mike, talk to us about the planet Arrakis.
	Isar Galib.
	Did I get it right?
	Did I do it?
	No, you did not, but I do appreciate that you tried.
	That counts for a lot.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	It means a lot to me that I tried and I failed.
	So Venezuela had an election and it looked like the opposition was going to remove wannabe dictator Maduro from power.
	And then later in the night, suddenly Maduro said, wait, I got 51% of the vote.
	I totally won.
	And now...
	Oh, he was mule to the gills.
	He had 5,000 mules.
	He had so many mules.
	to the gills. He had 5,000 mules. Oh, he had so many mules.
	Oh, man. So he declared victory.
	Uh, most people are declaring bullshit on this, which is very funny because you're getting this weird kind of break in the right-wing griftosphere because you have idiots like Jackson Hinkle and Jimmy Dore and like fake leftists like them being like, woo, Maduro!
	Winning!
	Pulling it out!
	Venezuela!
	Getting it done!
	Meanwhile, you have the right-wing anti-socialist people being like, no, this was stolen and rigged!
	Fuck you, Maduro!
	Resign, you dictating scumbag!
	Which, it was so funny.
	That we literally had this, like, 24-hour window where Elon Musk was on the right side of something, and he was like, Maduro, step down, you piece of shit!
	I fucking hate you!
	And Maduro and Elon were talking about fighting each other in a steel cage, which, spoiler, Elon will never do this.
	Elon loves talking about fighting people and backing down like the giant puss that he is.
	And after all of that screaming and yelling, Elon immediately just moved on to talking about cis women in boxing not being cis and all that good stuff.
	He's just a small baby looking at jingling car keys, and he's like, could I use the power of Sterling and my billions to help the people of Venezuela?
	No!
	There's a trans argument going on somewhere else in the world!
	Sorry, people of Venezuela!
	Get fucked!
	I have to score a clout with my right-wing dickbag followers!
	It's just like, oh my god, like, Elon.
	I mean, Elon does love an excuse to be transphobic.
	Like, he, he's just, he hates that.
	And he also loves respect to Christianity, as indicated by his Baphomet armor in his profile picture.
	Yes.
	Known supporter of Christianity, Baphomet, let's all love Elon Musk, either not knowing what that is, or having pivoted significantly in his feelings on that.
	Yeah, oh yeah, that was great when Elon was like, as a lover of Christianity, I have to denounce these opening ceremonies at the Olympics.
	It's like, are you a Christian or not?
	Like, what are you even talking about?
	And if you're a Christian, why'd you wear the Baphomet armor?
	What's wrong with you?
	Calm down, buddy.
	I just thought it looked cool.
	It never did, not on you.
	Did nobody ever tell you that?
	I'm pretty sure it looked cool.
	No, Mr. Musk, it did not look cool.
	Yeah, so right now Venezuela is in like a horrible situation and best to all of them.
	What's really been hilarious for the QAnon people is you've had Harris and Biden Coming out immediately talking about how we are observing what's going on in Venezuela.
	We are monitoring this.
	We don't think this election was on the up and up.
	And we're talking to all the various leaders of South America about them fucking getting in line about that and telling everyone to fucking not let Maduro steal this shit.
	Meanwhile, Trump, as of recording this, I don't think Trump said anything about Venezuela, which is really weird because you think that'd be an easy layup for him.
	And I even saw a couple of QAnon promoters talking about Trump's not talking about Venezuela.
	Must be a good reason.
	Like, yeah.
	Well, Mike, there is a good reason, and that's because he's nursing a severe little ankle wound he got for stepping in a bear trap, failing the Don't Say Something Racist Challenge.
	Inexplicably, Trump got asked to do an interview at an event for black folks, I believe.
	Black journalists.
	Black journalists.
	I didn't know the exact specific of that.
	Sorry for just saying black folks.
	It came off the tongue pretty bad.
	But yeah, so somehow Trump got invited to speak at this event for black journalists, which again is just like, you know...
	For this man, it was just like the impossible challenge of talk to black journalists without saying something racist.
	Are you capable of doing that for President Trump?
	Can you do that?
	Absolutely not.
	No, of course not.
	Which is great because the personal shit that derailed my life temporarily yesterday that prevented us from recording meant that we got to wait to hear him fumble fuck his way through all of this shit, which was just truly incredible.
	So where do we want to start?
	Mike.
	Yeah, so the big thing that came out of this was the fact that at some point in this conversation, he decided to tell us that he didn't know that Vice President Harris was Black, or that she had recently, quote-unquote, turned Black, and that she'd been Indian up until this point, and only recently has she declared herself to be Black.
	And hey, this is the kind of thing that devious people do.
	And I, I've seen people talking about how this was like some sort of like cunning ploy on Trump's behalf that he was like, he was setting up this move to impugn her racial identity to score points on some level.
	And don't be attributing fucking smarts to Trump.
	The man's a very stupid old man.
	He doesn't know what's going on.
	He was riffing as he always does.
	And to me, what I think he was doing was he thought to himself, you know, I really landed a zinger on Elizabeth Warren when I called her Pocahontas and gave her the razzle dazzle for her claims about Native American heritage in her distant bloodline.
	So I'm going to hit Kamala Harris with that.
	And the problem with this is, is that Harris's father is very much alive and is very obviously black.
	And this is incredibly stupid.
	And the other thing about this that was awesome was the fact that This is why the GOP is weird.
	Because when the God Emperor says something really stupid, all of his little toadies follow in lockstep with him and start backing his play.
	Like, almost immediately, Laura Loomer was posting Kamala Harris's birth certificate online and saying, Hey, look at this!
	This birth certificate doesn't say that she's black on it.
	Like, look at it!
	If you look at the birth certificate, it states that her father is Jamaican and her mother is Indian, which I'm pretty sure I can put two and two together what those two races would be if I were to, like, think about it.
	Yeah, but show me on the document where it says black, Mike.
	Oh, oh, right, right.
	Nailed it.
	Nailed it.
	Just like where on your birth certificate there's that line that says racially pure Caucasian boy.
	Exactly!
	Hey, I got blonde hair and blue eyes.
	My birth certificate is like pure Aryan white.
	Just like make sure that everyone knows that I'm the goodest of boys.
	And there's a different little stamp on it than other people's.
	And it's just like, what does that mean?
	Like, don't worry about that.
	That's fine.
	Mike Raines, Hitler approved.
	Great.
	Thanks.
	At the Judy Vance rally, Vance was also like acting like Kamala fakes her accent.
	Which it's like, what accent?
	And it's just, like, really weird to see, like, the most racist, pastiest white boys being like, actually, Kamala's not black enough, and also she's pretending to be black.
	Like, it just comes off as incredibly white supremacist, racist as it is, but it's just like, yikes!
	You know?
	That's kind of, like, not the best direction to go, I feel like.
	J.D.
	Katie Vance has definitely searched for porn with a slur in it.
	Oh, there's no doubt about that.
	Oh, man.
	I don't know what the slur for dolphin is, but that's probably the one.
	Sorry.
	People are going to understand that joke in the future because it's couched in modern references.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Like, again, it's just like, they're just like, I can't believe that the, I can't believe the Democrats are calling us weird.
	And it's just like, J.D.
	Vance has been the vice president of the PAC for, what, two weeks?
	And he's already had, like, two insane weird sex rumors come out about him.
	It's like, completely bananas.
	Oh, man.
	And the man can't, the man has such a track record of being an unbelievable piece of shit.
	Like the crazy cat lady thing, which... That clip of him browsing that memorabilia, that is pretty close to that Nazi memorabilia.
	Like, secretly being sold by the same guy selling the Nazi memorabilia, you know?
	And he's just like, oh, what's going on over at this table?
	Oh, some of this stuff looks pretty cool.
	I don't know about all of it, though, you know?
	But I'm definitely still looking at this table with this guy selling this Nazi shit.
	Yeah, I truly wonder who vetted this guy.
	Like, who on earth looked at him and- Peter Thiel, baby!
	I know, obviously.
	Peter Thiel vetted him.
	And then Peter Thiel was just like, hey, Donald Trump Jr., if you want to keep receiving enough money to support that fuckin' co-cap bud, you need to convince your papi that my guy's the guy.
	And then, by all accounts, they had like a big fuckin' row, like, the morning before, like, J.D.
	Vance was picked or whatever, you know?
	Like, with like, I have a- well, I guess I say by all accounts.
	By some accounts.
	And Donald Trump was like, I want Bergam!
	And Trump Jr.
	like they got into an argument about something.
	And it seems pretty clear to everybody involved that that something is probably him being like,
	hey, our billionaire buddy really wants JD Vance and he's got the money and you ain't got the money
	because you were a liar. And Donald Trump was like, I want Bergam and Trump Jr. was like,
	well, if you take Bergam, we don't get Peter Thiel's money.
	And then Trump was like, I need money.
	I really need money.
	And then he was just like, you know what?
	If I don't like the guy, I can always go on an interview and be like, no one has ever cared about the vice president.
	Historically, the vice president is a very unimportant position.
	People don't like that guy.
	He's an irrelevant guy.
	And they're just like, are you saying this because you have no faith that your own vice president doesn't pick?
	And he's just like, I'm not saying that.
	What I am saying is that vice presidential candidates are stupid.
	You should ignore them.
	Like, that was the greatest thing ever, is that this is literal running for president 101 bullshit, is that after you pick your vice president, a reporter is going to ask you, sir or ma'am, who is the nominee for president, are you confident your vice presidential pick can step in on day one and run the country, should something happen to you?
	And then you answer that question by saying, yes.
	I have every confidence in the world that my vice president would be able to help me if my incredibly incompetent Secret Service got me blown away by a 20-year-old loser who camped out on the top of a roof of a building or something.
	JD's great.
	He's not a lazy boy, you know?
	Yeah.
	I think he'd love the seat.
	Yes.
	Huh?
	Huh?
	Anybody?
	Huh?
	Huh?
	What?
	Yeah.
	Did you just say Ottoman?
	No, I said bottom.
	No, I thought you just said Ottoman.
	I was like, yeah, Haley gets it.
	Oh God.
	Yeah.
	And instead of saying that, Trump was just like, yeah, whoever you pick for vice president really doesn't matter.
	I think he made like a weird riff on how LBJ might've mattered for JFK, which...
	Was, like, does Trump think that LBJ stole Texas for him?
	Is, like, that what he's going for?
	I don't know.
	Like, because Trump loves his conspiracy theories.
	Does he believe that shit?
	Does he believe that, like, Lyndon Johnson stole Texas and, uh, the mob stole Illinois and that's how Kennedy became president?
	I mean, I would love for Donald Trump to sit across from me and just be like, Vice Presidents are unimportant.
	Fuck those guys.
	And I'd just be like, oh, that's cool.
	This is a fun trivia question.
	Who is Barack Obama's vice president?
	And did that man defeat you in a presidential election?
	Y-slash-N.
	Anybody got any questions for that?
	Or are you just going to spread your wheels like I asked you about your favorite Bible passage?
	I'm sitting here with someone's vice president and I can't remember exactly who it is.
	One of those people quoted John 3.16 at the rally yesterday and it's like, lazy.
	Of all past spirituals, it's just lazy.
	That is.
	It's the it's the only one that fucking Stoke-Holstein-Vassa is out there teaching them, you know?
	It's on their In-N-Out Burger.
	So yeah.
	And the other and the other final thing that happened in that press conference was one of the interviewers asked Trump About Project 2025.
	And then immediately after she asked him that, she said, I've been told that we need to wrap things up now.
	So thank you for coming, Mr. Trump.
	And then the crowd like kind of applauded and it ended.
	So like literally the moment they brought up Project 2025, someone on Trump's staff just radioed in.
	Interviews are over.
	Cut it.
	Cut the mics.
	We're done.
	We're fucking done here.
	You're not getting him on the record about Project 2025 in this non-controlled environment.
	That is not happening.
	So that was like super great that they, they bugged out the minute that issue came up.
	Shout out to Project 2025 for being such a toxic list of bullshit that even the Trump campaign has to try to distance themselves from it.
	And they're just like, yeah, we're on plan 47, uh, or whatever.
	It's like a totally different thing than that.
	We don't really know or like what that is.
	No, we don't really know what that is.
	But if we did know what it was, we would have nothing to do with it.
	And we do have nothing to do with it.
	So fuck that.
	It's like, yikes!
	How bad do you have to be to be having Donald Trump distance himself from you because you're, like, too stinky and odious to... I mean, J.D.
	Vance is a fuckin' vice presidential pick!
	Right, exactly!
	Yeah, he hasn't cut J.D.
	Vance loose yet.
	Like, there are literally ads on Twitter now from the Heritage Foundation that are like, do you know the truth about Project 2025?
	We're not involved with Trump!
	And it's like, what the fuck are you doing?! !
	What kind of an ad is this?
	It's like, fuck you, you lying scum.
	Do you know the truth about Project 2025?
	Bullet point number one, JD Vance fucked a couch with a glove in it.
	Isn't that strange?
	It's like, what does this have to do with anything?
	Exactly.
	It's like, actually, I could kind of get behind Project 2025 with a bullet point like that, you know?
	Way to go, Project 2025!
	You're the best!
	But then, unfortunately, it's like, number two, being black should be a crime.
	It's like, oh, no, this is... I only like some of what this is saying.
	Really? I just liked it when it was busting on JD Vance.
	Yikes.
	Oh my god.
	Oh my god.
	Thank you very much.
	Combination of Democrats rallying behind Kamala and Donald Trump somehow choosing J.D.
	Vance's vice presidential pick to suddenly mean, you know, I'm not quite as anxious about the election anymore.
	I'm not going to lie.
	I mean, I certainly, you know, there's still a lot of fighting to do, but like.
	Yeah, you know.
	And then also, to his credit, Sleepy Joe, now that the spotlight is off of him, he went back to being Dark Brandon.
	Dark Brandon's back.
	He's just quietly back because the Olympics are happening and J.D.
	Vance is fucking couching the Dolphins.
	But, like, you know, fucking Sleepy Joe's out there, like, getting prisoner swabs done and, like, trying to fucking set term limits on judges and shit.
	Like, he's just like, oh, now the pressure's off.
	I'm done with the malarkey.
	Dark Brandon's back.
	Yeah, and he even landed a zinger where someone at the press conference where he denounced the prisoner release, someone was just like, President Trump said he was going to do a better job than you!
	And then Biden was like, well then why didn't he get him out when he was president?
	Why'd he fuck that up?
	Why'd he leave that mess for me to clean up in my term?
	Explain that, idiot reporter who just yelled at me.
	Yeah, Joe Biden should have just been like, I'm sorry, I just, I can't hear you over the sound of the tremendous photo op I'm going to have with President Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, with all of these prisoners of war coming back, you know?
	Like, these prisoners are coming back, and we're going to get to go visit their families and take photos, and we get to call Navalny's wife and get a sound clip, or like, you know, a quote that we can put in.
	Like, this is a big, big political coup for them, you know?
	Doug Brandon out there, Getting the base fired up for the idea of getting fucking judges from Term Limits.
	I mean, I know it's got me fired up.
	I'm like, yeah, now we're talking some sense, finally.
	Oh yeah, and the other thing about this prisoner exchange was that Trump was busy talking.
	He's like, Putin will free this reporter guy for me.
	He will not free him for anybody else.
	You literally must make me president and then I and I alone will get this deal done.
	Smash cut to Putin letting that guy go well ahead of the election.
	Yeah, to Joe Biden, and in exchange for just other prisoners and no, like, lifting of sanctions or anything.
	As far as I know, it was just a straight prisoner swap.
	Like, Putin didn't even try to strong-arm Sleepy Joe too hard, or if he did, he failed.
	Either he was just cool with like the buttery smooth, just even Stevens, in a way that makes Trump look like a big liar, or Putin got defeated in negotiations by Sleepy Joe's people, which makes Trump look like a big idiot.
	So, it wasn't Trump, idiot or liar.
	Or like Putin's looking at the polls and he's like, oh, my boy doesn't have the juice.
	I better cut this deal now before I can deal with President Harris and she really fucking rakes me over the coals.
	So like, fuck that shit.
	Anyway, so yeah, a little bit of positivity.
	Isn't that something?
	Speaking of positivity, you want to get into our positively excellent mailbag?
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	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q and A. Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor asks, why did it take us so long to zero in on the fact that the word weird triggers the conservatives so goddamn much?
	Uh, you know, because generally, like, fucking just calling somebody weird, parentheses, negative, like, for liberals, generally, would seem like punching down, you know?
	Like, the problem with, like, the Democrats especially is that they're so, sometimes they're too high-minded to realize that sometimes you do just gotta, you gotta roll around in the mud sometimes.
	Yeah, you don't need to write a whole essay.
	Yeah, like people will tune you out if you just keep yelling about them about gender identity and like, you know, sexual spectrums and stuff like that.
	Like that stuff is important.
	I'm not saying don't talk about it.
	But if that's all you ever talk about when it comes to your like political, like the political arrows in your quiver, like a lot of people are just going to start tuning in and it all just sort of becomes like, you know, Like a repetitive drone to a lot of people.
	And there's just something visceral about just like throwing a little jab, you know?
	Especially when it's so soft, it's weird.
	Because weird covers a broad spectrum of stuff.
	Including a bunch of positive stuff, like Hayley mentioned earlier.
	A lot of people are just like, I'm weird.
	Parenthesis positive, you know?
	I like being weird.
	Yeah, I've seen them get angry.
	They're like, you have slogans like, keep Austin weird and shit.
	And it's like, weird is in creative and celebratory and happy about each other's differences.
	Your weird is, check that lady's pants.
	I think there's a penis in it.
	And it's just, that is your weird.
	Your weird is intrusive and creepy and malevolent.
	Right.
	Freak.
	Yeah.
	Sorry to cut you off, Mike.
	This circles us back to the fact that for some reason, conservatives can't reconcile the fact that something can be two things.
	Kamala Harris cannot be both black and Indian.
	She has to choose!
	And weird cannot be both good and bad.
	That doesn't make any goddamn sense!
	And it's just like, actually, both of those things can be true.
	Weird can be, depending on the context matters.
	And it turns out that I don't have to really explain the context if I'm just like, dude, the GOP, they're fucking weird.
	Like, no one's gonna accidentally assume that I think that they're awesome.
	Where if I say, like, if I'm just like, hey, fuckin' Austin, Texas, that place is pretty weird.
	Like, people know that, like, that's probably white-hearted, maybe a little funny, and even positive.
	Versus, yeah, context matters.
	So, it's just like, the fact that there's a lightest of jabs, it's sort of like, imagine It's sort of like the Democrats are like dipping their little pinky toe into the water to see like what the reaction is.
	And the conservatives fucking lost their fucking mind.
	Like we didn't even have to delve too deep into the into the into the waters of throwing down.
	We just had to be like, okay, here's the here's our opening salvo.
	You guys are weird.
	Whatever happened to the tolerant left?
	It was like a vampire being hit by the faintest of sunlight, and they immediately started turning to ash.
	They just couldn't handle it in the slightest.
	It's like, oh my god, no!
	It's just so punishing.
	And it just works so well, because again, so much of what they're doing is just weird.
	It's just creepy.
	And it's very easy, and it fits, and I'm just very glad that we now have that as a weapon against them.
	And by all means, let's keep badgering them with it.
	So it'll be great.
	So thank you for the question.
	XXX Squirrel asks, Tim Ballard seems to be going through some stuff lately.
	Has there been any reaction on the far right, or are they in denial, or they have forgotten they exist?
	Note, he seems to no longer be involved in the Sound of Freedom sequel, which is funny.
	Oh, they dropped him like a hot potato.
	Oh god, is Tim Ballard dead to them?
	Yeah, all the sexual harassment and the lawsuits and all that shit.
	Yeah, boy howdy.
	Have those people never heard of Tim Bower?
	Sound of Freedom?
	It's a movie that stars Jim Caviezel and he's saving children from the adrenochrome mines.
	Based off a true story, I don't know what true story you're talking about.
	I don't know that character that Jim Caviezel's playing.
	I believe that story is called The Bible.
	Yes, exactly.
	Why do you think we cast Jesus?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Oh man, Tim Pallard is persona non grata.
	He does not exist.
	It's all of that.
	I'm sure that when the smoke clears he'll be back in the right wing's graces, but for now he's a little too hot to handle.
	Those people are welcoming Dr. Disrespect into their bosom with a warm embrace.
	I mean, Dr. Disrespect had that ridiculous tweet where he's behind a chessboard and his side is chess pieces and the side that we're in front of is checkers pieces.
	It's like, yeah, I cunningly was trying to get in the pants of an underage girl.
	5D chess libs.
	It's like, no, you're just a Fuckin' pedo.
	Calm down, buddy.
	And, of course, people are like, oh yeah, Dr. Disrespect, I can't wait to hear your side of the story.
	It's like, there is no side.
	He admitted it.
	It's already out there.
	Calm down, buddy.
	No, it was a career-devastating blow, and that's why there's litigation going on that our show's gonna exonerate him.
	Oh, wait, there's no litigation because he would get destroyed because they have an unlimited amount of receipts?
	So weird.
	Incredibly strange that they could just prove it by being like, oh, we have those chat logs.
	Here they are.
	Here they are, Your Honor.
	You may read them.
	Yeah.
	Thank you for the question.
	Pancake Peasant asks, if you could talk to yourself from 10 years ago, what's the craziest thing your past self would have the most trouble believing?
	Wait, what?
	What'd you say, Hayley?
	I didn't hear it.
	Oh.
	If you could talk to yourself from ten years ago, what's the craziest thing your past self would have trouble believing?
	You can make a career playing D&D.
	Yes!
	Ten years hence!
	Well, at that point, it would even just be, like, five years hence.
	A niche market will emerge, and from it, some people will be able to mine very currency from the game of Dungeons & Dragons.
	And I'd be like, that's fucking insane.
	Like, how is that possible?
	And it's just like, well, it's going to start with a bunch of people who are already successful voice actors, and they're going to give people a bunch of false hope about what D&D is supposed to be.
	And then they're just going to turn D&D into a bad fantasy show, but play it out IRL.
	Anyway, sorry, I have opinions about that shit.
	Yeah, the rise of professional D&D is insane to me.
	Like, I'm also surprised that D&D just got cool, but, like, the fact that, like, not only is it just, like, a cool thing generally in culture now, but also some people are genuinely just, like, my job is pro Dungeon Master.
	I'm just, like, bizarre, but also righteous.
	I want to know, how do you go about the job of being professional dungeon master?
	What's the Help Wanted ad?
	Are there people out there saying, like, can you search, like, classified ads?
	Can you go on Craigslist or Monster.com and they're like, Wanted, professional DM.
	There are people on Rule20.net who have the audacity to charge per session for DMing, and I'm just like, wow, go off kings and queens.
	But when I look at that, I'm just like, bro, if I paid you money for this session, you better deliver me, like...
	I'm not expecting Brendan Lee Mulligan, but like, you know, I need his, like, the RC Cola version.
	Give me Brendan Lee Mulligan, you know?
	Like, I need at least a fucking some degree of hot heat if I'm paying you to DM.
	Because, man, I've had a lot of incredible DMs in my time and not one of them have charged me for the privilege.
	Yeah, I'm the exact opposite.
	I've never had anything but terrible DMs.
	But I wouldn't pay for a good one.
	I know that.
	I mean, I got really lucky.
	I'm assuming a lot of people aren't fortunate enough to have my breadth of experience with DMs.
	But still, I think it's just a crazy thing that you can make money doing.
	That's all I've got to say about that.
	Hayley, ten years.
	You, go.
	Um, I think that if you told me ten years ago that Russell Brand would be like a voice of the conservative movement, I would have been like, huh?
	Who?
	What?
	Get him to the Greek guy?
	Yeah, if this was ten years ago, wouldn't it just be like, who?
	That guy that got canceled for sexual assault that used to be famous for Get Her to the Greek?
	There's also a slew of celebrities that if you told me ten years ago that they would be on the same stage as elected officials I would have been like, huh?
	You know?
	Like Rob Schneider and my cat's attacking me.
	Sorry, stop. Moving on.
	To you.
	I would say that just the fact that the Illuminati shit would get so popular and become a major part of the right wing in America, because I had been following this stuff for a very long time.
	I, I, I was, I was, I was there back in the day, man.
	Uh, I was like following like Vigilant Citizen and all these bullshit websites and following the people that were doing decodes of music videos to show you how they were totes Illuminati and all that kind of stuff.
	And it was super fringe.
	It was this tiny little market of people.
	And then you smash cut to Donald Trump becoming president and then QAnon.
	And now you literally have, you just have both halves of the Republican ticket for president screaming about an Albanian woman, an Algerian woman beating up an Italian woman and screaming about men attacking women and all this kind of stuff and how the Illuminati is warping genders and killing God and it's just like Fuck, how?
	How did a bunch of chuckle fucks screaming and yelling about celebrities covering one eye in their photographs become half of American politics?
	Like, how did we get here?
	Why are you people all so mentally broken?
	What is wrong with you?
	Oh my God, it's just, it's really insane.
	It's just, I can't even wrap my head around that this is where we are.
	It's nuts and it's not going to get any better ever.
	Like, I was listening to a podcast and they were like, this is as bad as it's going to get.
	And I was like, no, it's not.
	What the fuck are you talking about?
	You having a laugh?
	You having a laugh, mate?
	Oh my God.
	It's never going to get better.
	This is as bad as it's going to get.
	It's just like, I don't know, man.
	Donald Trump might get reelected.
	You know, he's still running.
	If I get reelected, like, just the other day, he said, oh, if I get re- if I get elected this time, we're never gonna have to worry about another election again.
	And it's just like, uh, would you like to fucking explain what you mean by that, dictator boy?
	Because I'll go ahead and buy a gun tomorrow.
	Like, I don't give a fuck, dude.
	Also, even if Harris wins, outside of electoral politics, the far right will be emboldened and grow because things will still get worse.
	Climate change is still going to be devastating the world, and there's still going to be a lot of things that frustrate Americans, and then a lot of people are going to be like, it's because the black woman's in charge, similar to the Obama Oh yeah, there's always going to be this reactionary politics.
	The thing that's really funny to me right now is that when Harris took over for Biden, I just thought to myself, well now QAnon will finally have their rage boners satiated.
	They'll finally have Someone they can really hate because they're replacing the old white guy with a black Indian woman.
	So this is finally going to make them happy.
	And then it just didn't because it's not so much the racism and the misogyny.
	I mean, there's tons of that inside of QAnon, but it's more that they hate their villains list.
	And literally every day I see people posting about they're gonna replace Harris with Hillary or Michelle Obama.
	It's gonna happen.
	Because it's like, that's where their rage boner goes to.
	They just need one of their villains to be the nominee so they can be properly enraged for the last two and a half months of this election.
	Like, they hate Harris for all the racist and misogynist reasons, but they don't have a history with her.
	They don't have a track record.
	They haven't built a mythology around this woman to properly hate her.
	They can just go to their 5,000 memes of Michelle Obama having a penis, or their 5,000 memes of Hillary Clinton brutally murdering people, and just, yeah, frazzle trip!
	Yeah!
	It's like, oh man.
	They're so disease-minded.
	The brain worms are so crippling.
	Before we move on to our next question, just a little addendum to my funny little riff about I'll buy a gun tomorrow.
	In case this ever gets played in court, you know?
	I would just like to state for the record that that was more of like a civil war, fight for my country sort of thing.
	Not anything related to do with President Donald Trump.
	So please, please don't arrest me, NSA.
	Don't take that out of context, NSA Comedy Podcast.
	You know how it is.
	Yes.
	I would like to say unequivocally for the record, that had nothing to do with President Donald Trump.
	We've had fucking heady times, dude.
	Like we're in some weird times.
	Mebat asks, best funniest guesses for what October surprises will be for both sides.
	Am I supposed to be expecting an October surprise?
	Is that, like, a thing?
	Is that part of the political process I've been missing this whole time?
	People always talk about it as being, like, the big thing that could shrink up the election.
	The October surprise.
	They just love... Right before the end.
	Yeah, right before the end.
	Like, what could happen in October that could tilt the election?
	Salacious photos of J.D.
	Vance with that, like, scented chair from Pee-Wee's Playhouse.
	I'm just going to use this whole podcast as an excuse to bust out JD Vance.
	As well you should.
	He deserves all of it.
	That's all he gets.
	I don't know that I have a funny one for the Democrats, but this is my thing.
	I give a 5% chance to.
	Because this happened last night at Trump's rally in Pennsylvania, where he declared that the Republican nominee for Senate is going to make a great governor.
	He did that twice.
	Good job.
	That powerful, smooth brain of Trump's still running strong.
	But at one point in his rally, he told the audience that he is protecting them, and then he said, I'm getting tired of protecting you.
	And then he kind of gave a weird smile, like, yeah, I'm just kind of sick of this shit.
	It'd be like, I can see like a 5% chance where like after the DNC, Harris like starts growing a big lead and Trump finally breaks down and debates her and gets his ass paddled.
	And as we're going into October, it's just looking so bad for him.
	I could see him just like flipping out and just quitting the race.
	I could literally just see Trump taking his ball and going home.
	It's really like, fuck this shit.
	You people don't deserve me.
	You're going to steal this election from me.
	I know it.
	It's a bunch of crap.
	I'm leaving.
	And then like, they literally are trying to like talk Trump out of Mar-a-Lago.
	And he's like got himself barricaded in there, just pounding down Big Macs all like 24 seven.
	And they're like, no, Mr. Trump, you're only down like six.
	Like it was, it looked bad against Hillary and you still pulled it out.
	He's like, leave me alone.
	I'm done.
	I'm tired.
	I can't fight anymore.
	I took a bullet and you people still hate me.
	And also, this isn't Hillary!
	Yes, exactly!
	This isn't someone that the Democrats are begrudgingly tolerating.
	There's, like, actual enthusiasm around Harris.
	Yeah, I mean, like, I guess I just assumed a lot of it was just stock standard misogyny, but at the time, I just don't think I realized exactly how much people just have, like, a visceral dislike of Hillary Clinton.
	I mean, because there just wasn't really that in any of the circles I trafficked with Kabbalah, the way there was Everybody was like, ugh, Hillary.
	Ugh, ugh, such a crone.
	Ugh.
	And these were the Democrats that were going to be forced to vote for her.
	Ugh, she's the worst.
	And then, like, Kamala, everyone was just like, oh, gank.
	Like, let's go, you know?
	Yeah, Kamala's brat.
	She's by no means perfect.
	I mean, she's incredibly pro-cop, which I don't want in my president of the United States.
	But, like, again, like on the spectrum of bad things that a person running for the president could have in their closet, like, you know, being a little pro-cop is, you know, the lesser of several dozen evils.
	Oh, like Trump in that interview was asked about the cop that murdered that lady with the pot of water.
	And he was like, yeah, it looked kind of bad.
	And then the interviewers were like, but you've said you're going to give all police immunity for their actions.
	And Trump was like, ah, we'll see.
	I'm not too sure.
	And it was just this kind of thing where he knew that if he said, yeah, I'm going to let that cop that literally executed that woman for no fucking reason, if I say I'm going to give her that cop immunity, that looks so bad that like even I, Donald Trump, won't go that far.
	But he wasn't like, no, I wouldn't give him immunity.
	He was just running.
	That's going to be a case by case basis.
	If I give immunity to cops who brutally execute people for no
	fucking reason and it was just like, uh, it would be great if
	somebody would just put like just force him to sit there and
	just be like, yeah, I'm not moving on until you give me a yes
	or no on this one there chief.
	Like literally.
	Like, it's just like, uh, President Trump, you say you love the Bible.
	What's your favorite passage?
	Yeah, I don't have one.
	Uh, no, but if you had to choose one, what's your favorite one?
	I kind of like all of them.
	Uh, no, but seriously, if you just had to pick, like, only just one of them, can you do that?
	And I would just do that until he walked away.
	I would just be like, I don't respect your fucking time, Chief, so you're going to give me an answer, or I'm just going to ask you, like, I'm fucking bored at this, dude.
	I'll ask you this.
	A hundred, two hundred times in a row, if I gotta.
	At some point, like, by the end of it, I'll probably be spicing it up a bit.
	Okay, yeah, but... You know, but like, I'll still be going.
	Yeah, you're just literally Doctor Strange at the end of that, of the movie.
	You're like, DORAMU!
	DORAMU!
	And just getting murdered, and you're like, you know, I don't care.
	We're just gonna do this forever, motherfucker.
	This ain't ending until you give me an answer.
	The difference is, I think I would just have to do it until he died, or left, because I don't think... Yes.
	Like, he literally, he'd be like, I don't know.
	Green eggs and ham?
	That's in there, right?
	I'm like, nice.
	I'm like, thank you!
	God, that's all I needed!
	Yes, the book of ham comma green eggs and... Zeus 316.
	We did it.
	We did it.
	The good doctor nailed it.
	He's just like, oh yeah, yeah, that'd be great.
	He's just like, honestly, it's Austin 316.
	I'm like, oh, okay, respect.
	Did I dap him up?
	I'll let him go.
	And our final question in the mailbag is, what weird thing did Elon name his most recent baby?
	I don't think he can top XZ-Xi and XtraDarkSiderial, or however he said it.
	I don't know that Elon, I don't know what the name of his latest spawn was.
	I didn't get to answer the question.
	Oh, go, go!
	Unreal, Mike!
	I'm a monster.
	I'm a monster.
	I fully acknowledge that.
	I have an October surprise that I think would be funny.
	I think it would be funny if, like, Of Kamala, Biden, Trump, Vance, and whoever Kamala picks all died of old age or a heart attack.
	There's nobody.
	There's nobody to run.
	I think that would be the October surprise of a lifetime.
	That's the only way you can top this year.
	Well, the thing about that is I think that decapitates the Republicans.
	I think the Democrats really wouldn't have that big of a problem with it.
	Yeah.
	I feel like the Democrats would just be like, okay, one of the guys that Kamala didn't pick, you.
	You're now our nominee.
	Whereas the Republicans would just tear themselves apart and eventually nominate Tucker Carlson.
	We're just randomly running up like a Pete Buttigieg fucking Vermin Supreme ticket out of nowhere because they're just available.
	And it's like, hey, the Republic has got nothing, you know, so.
	Buttigieg Supreme 24.
	Exactly.
	I think I would make things up a month before the election as if it was just like we had to pick absolutely everybody now.
	Yeah.
	Well, yeah, I mean, I didn't know we could shoot for the moon.
	It's just like, oh, yeah, like October Surprise.
	It's the only thing that would get weirder than this election's already been.
	A virus rapidly spreads across the world and kills everybody under the age of 14.
	Perfectly everybody.
	So we know that we're not leaving anything behind.
	It's just us.
	Social experiment time.
	Let's go.
	That would be, uh, oh yeah, and everyone above the age of 14 who's not dead is infertile.
	So that's just it.
	Humanity's done.
	We've got like 50 years left and we're all gone.
	That'd be great.
	Who doesn't love to think of the future of the fucking country now, loser?
	Fuck climate change!
	It's rolling call.
	Ooh.
	Ha ha ha.
	Ooh.
	All right, any other questions for us, or is it just the question of the week?
	Oh, no, the previous question.
	What did Elon name his new kid?
	Agab.
	A-G-A-B.
	Assign gender first.
	I see a child named Tao Technomechanicus Musk.
	That might be his latest.
	Mike, stop using AI on the show.
	People don't like it.
	I'm sorry.
	I apologize.
	Yeah.
	That can't be a real thing.
	They'd be like, oh yeah, I'm doing a list here of names that looks like Poopfart Booger Musk is one of his names.
	But who knows?
	I mean, that guy's an absolute lunatic.
	What would you want his latest kid to be called?
	Not Out of Mercy or anything.
	Pretend you know the kid's going to grow up to suck like its dad.
	Elon Q. Yeah, just Elon.
	Elon Jr.
	No, God.
	Oh, God.
	What a devastating name that would be.
	Oh my God.
	Or like a symbol, like when Prince did that.
	Remember when Prince did that?
	Yes.
	Rest in power symbol that represents the artist formerly known as Prince.
	So that does bring us to the end, which is what are you guys looking forward to?
	Sleep.
	Because of events this week and us recording late, it's later than normal, and I've worked a full day, and my bed is right behind me.
	Man, it's looking pretty nice.
	I've also played a lot of Vampire Survivors on my phone.
	I missed that wave the first time around, but I was looking for something to play on my phone, and that counts.
	So, I'm looking forward to going to bed and playing Vampire Survivors.
	Oh, I've never played that.
	I'll look into it.
	It's free.
	It's cheap, it's free.
	Oh, that's really good.
	I like Free.
	Free's awesome.
	What are you looking forward to, Hayley?
	Something similar.
	Just kind of like laying down and relaxing, finally, because this has been a long week.
	And maybe playing Animal Crossing, like a child.
	You do love your Animal Crossing.
	You have been very much in favor.
	It requires no brain power.
	Hell yeah, dude.
	Is Hayley the ideal woman?
	I think so.
	Uh, I, I am looking forward to the beginning of wrangling people together for fantasy foosball and all that fun stuff.
	Cause it means that foosball is slowly creeping to life and that it will be a part of my life for five months after this, which is great.
	So, uh, I just like randomly talked to one of my coworkers.
	I'm like, Hey, are you doing this league this year?
	And he's like, I'm not sure.
	And I was like, ah, come on.
	And then he caved immediately.
	I was like, yes, success.
	That was fun.
	Nice.
	Awesome.
	You know what?
	It sounds like we're all going to have life-affirming weeks coming up.
	I'm not going to lie.
	I was looking at my phone there, so I missed that last bit.
	Anyway, a little look behind the curtain for the listeners.
	Let's speedrun this outro.
	Thank you so much for listening.
	It's time for us to fuck off out of Hellworld for the week.
	Imagine the way we do it with your mind palace.
	Thank you for supporting the show.
	If you want to support the show for free, but harder, you can do so by giving us a five-star review where you got the show from.
	If you got money and you want to give it to us, Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
	Five dollars or more per month makes you a Beautifuler Baby and gets you access to all of our back catalog of bonus content and any bonus content we record in the future.
	Thank you so much to all the Beautifuler Babies who are in that group!
	If you have money and you want to do some good with it, there's like a billion ways to do that.
	We suggest directing that towards one of the conflicts going on in the world.
	But we also always recommend Love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
	Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our original theme song, accidentally remixed by Mike Raines into what you heard at the top of the show.
	Extra special thank you to Frosty, who does all of our voiceover stuff, including the brand new bump you heard today.
	You can find Frosty on BlueSky at FrostyVO.
	You can find the show at Twitter at HellWorldWithAQ instead of an O. I am on Twitter at HellWorldFatties, spelled the same way.
	You can find Hayley on various social media at AZRW, Arizona Right Watch.
	And Mike Raines, of course, on various social media at PokerPolitics.
	So for another successful episode of the Adventures of Hell World Podcast, I have been one of your hosts, The Mysterious Hell!
	Joined as always by Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, or AZRW, and of course our expert at all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
	Good speed, patriots!
	The following is a true story.
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